#there just all the ones my partner wants lol
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meanbossart · 1 day ago
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Saw your ass-out sleepytime Drow art on Patreon and my thoughts went “WHOA, the siren song of the balls-taint-hole (the hole package, if you will) is real, shame he’s asleep”
Which led me to ponder in true ADHD fashion:
What WOULD be their take on somnophilia be? Less, I think, in the sense of wanting to get it on with a sleeping partner who remains asleep throughout, and more in the sense of waking one’s partner up by lovingly making out with his taint.
"Which led me to ponder in true ADHD fashion" Please, as if this exact train of thought wasn't entirely intentional on my end with that art and possibly the same one I embarked on myself LOL
DU drow is a big cuddler. And feel-er. And toucher. He's also prone to, erm, nightly urges of the more trivial kind post-campaign. Obviously he addresses those himself rather than bothering Astarion with it.
I don't think DU drow would feel right about waking up Astarion with anything so overtly sexual. Kissing, holding, a good ol' morning nuzzle, that's standard for him but the clothes must be on.
If Astarion is in a particularly compromising position, then well - that becomes a wistful game in of itself of look-but-don't-touch. DU drow very much loves the sight of him sleeping peacefully, and still, and cold, but he's perfectly happy denying himself in exchange of a nice view and the joy of working yourself up until you have steam coming out your ears.
On the other hand, Astarion is very much aware that the drow will let him do whatever he wants to him, whenever he wants. DU drow's entire week is made if his partner can't even contain himself from initiating sex before he's even woken up - Astarion knows that it will make him happy, and sometimes that's reason enough.
That was a lot of words just to say that yes, the vamp very lovingly and slowly gives into the siren call all too often LOL
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wheneverfeasible · 2 days ago
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Watching the movie Blame and had an idea.
Picture it:
Steve’s senior year, maybe post S2 or maybe even a modern au, and his English class is doing a module on stage plays. They’re split up into teams and each given a play scene they must act out together and perform in front of an audience.
Eddie, who is also in the class, is given a romantic scene (I’m honestly waffling between The Crucible and The Importance of Being Earnest as both are great for different reasons, but it could be any play with a romantic scene really) but none of the girls in class offer to do the scene with him when the teacher asks for volunteers. No one wants to work with the Freak, especially not in a romance scene.
And Steve is there, stricken by the way it was so obvious Eddie was trying to pretend that it didn’t bother him, and he finds his hand shooting into the air and his mouth saying “I’ll do it.”
Anyways, after some hullabaloo, it’s settled and Steve is allowed to do the role only because literally everyone else refuses to work with him. Steve is trying to be a better person though and he can put up with the discomfort. Eddie doesn’t trust him at first, and the scene is awkward because of it, but eventually they get to know each other better and get closer.
The scene becomes awkward for a different reason entirely.
And maybe Steve’s classmates or former friends or whoever start calling Steve queer slurs and things, making Eddie uncomfortable and telling Steve he can ask the teacher for a different partner since Eddie’s sure he won’t be graduating that year again anyways, but Steve refuses to leave Eddie to the jackals of high school.
And then the sexual tension gets so great during the scene and oops now they’re kissing.
Blah blah blah and they perform the play and pass the class (but Eddie is right and he doesn’t graduate lol) and live their happily ever after or whatever idk.
But yeah, just the idea of all the girls refusing to do the scene with Eddie and then Steve volunteering despite not being a girl and not like genderswapping the character at all either, just actively playing the girl role as a girl character without making it a joke.
Maybe Steve even does a bit of drag during one of their after school practice sessions to really get into the role 👀
If you would like to continue this idea, please feel free! Just send a link to anything you write for it 😉
~
Tagging my Hostage Hotties even tho it’s not a full story post:
@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @honeii-puff @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-wierdlife
@everywherenothere @bumblebeecuttlefishes
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dadsbongos · 7 hours ago
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hi (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ i was wondering if it's okay to be a little bit feral about viktor here.,..,., craving him. Carnally
let’s get feral about viktor…  general thots here and then a stupid blurb below the cut
would definitely be into face-sitting: pleasing his partner while laying back. hands free to roam and grope and you get to control the pace. you could grind on his nose and throw your head back and he just gets to listen as you squeal.
also would look so so so good covered in hickies….. purplish love bites decorating his sharp collarbones.. he’d probably let you get away with sucking some up his neck since he’s locked in the lab all day anyway
hngnnnggg he’s gotta be PENT up too. he’s handsome and he knows it, but he went from a studying assistant to a full scientist behind hextech so he pretty much capped himself on sex. so when he gets into it he is. INTO it. so needy and whiny and overstimulates himself to keep fucking you just so he doesn’t have to stop
i want him lol… not laughing
~~ 530 words
his careful and thoughtful inflection, each word he says wrought so particularly that no matter how big the words he uses are -you understand each one perfectly with how he uses it.
which is why you take so much pleasure in finding him tongue-tied next to you. pale cheeks flushing and eyes, so ragged with knowledge, wide chock full of curiosity. you’re sure he hasn’t gotten much attention -- no amount of beauty or charming accent can save a scientist from his own devotion.
he got dragged out to an exhibition gala by jayce and he’s been slick against the wall since arriving. no drink or plate in hand, he simply leans there in a bored silence. which is when the last person he wants to see arrives: you, the new assistant.
you spare no time before saddling up beside him with two champagne flutes. one has a dewy smear of gloss along the rim while you extend the other.
“any commitments tomorrow? or can i finally see the famed hextech let loose?”
viktor eyes the bubbles, dragging his gaze up to your face and halting there for an excruciating second before leaning to grab the glass.
“i was just thinking of leaving,” he admits, “these public showings are not my idea.”
“go figure. i think everyone here’s gathered that.”
“jayce can handle any questions of the evening…” viktor sighs, frowning down at the champagne, “sad that you wasted your time getting me the glass.”
“you know, i do wonder how many girls out in town dream about jayce. he’s the face -a pretty face- for hextech,” viktor raises a brow at you prodding for explanation, “i just don’t understand how they can overlook the brains.”
viktor jumps, gaze startling down to his feet, a stiff response already spilling, “jayce is half the brain, and so am i.”
“then i guess i just need to tell you that i think you’re cute.”
a flurry of excuses storms behind his eyes before he catches his breath, shoulders drooping as he exhales and realizes: he doesn’t have to find an excuse. he doesn’t have to refuse you at all. 
he’s not working tonight. you’re not working. he can’t remember the last time he got to act like a normal man with normal desires rather than fulfilling some vague purpose. an idyllic achievement.
he could just be a man tonight.
so he clinks his glass against yours with a soft smile, “then i’m assuming you’re not busy tomorrow, either?”
“i am not,” you beam, sliding closer toward him.
and good thing; both of you having the next day off means you can pull viktor into your apartment, and then your bed. he lets you guide the night, watching with uncharacteristic amazement as you strip -- he looks so mesmerized his hands clench, itching to scale up your bare sides.
you swing a leg over him when he’s sat against your headboard, “you okay, vik?” he tilts his head only for you to cup his cheeks and keep his head straight, “you’re all flushed.”
“your forwardness,” he blinks up at you, heart thrumming between his ribs, “it scares me.”
“oh?”
“i’ve never been more aroused.”
“oh…”
… in another world i will write a viktor fic with this same premise… it is so. Interesting to me.
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ktyekmrf30 · 11 hours ago
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I mark today as the day OhmLeng officially became a permanently established GMM couple
Yaaaay!
GMMTV introduced OhmLeng's fan club official character OH-YEAH (which is also their fandom name thanks to Leng lol) who comes with cuteness, playfulness, and will come to mess with the hearts of fans to love them even more.
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Ohm and Leng drew it themselves!
Yup, they already had OL logo for some commerical stuff which may be considered as the officialism BUT fandom character - in my opinion - is THE official official confirmation for establishing because it's literally means that the couple will continue to promote together in the future just like other cps, will have another series together, and also official merch, events and other things that GMMTV give for permanent couples because there's no other reason for this company to make merch and wasting money for nothing. So yeah, official established couple!
And this look good for me, because they have amazing chemistry, understand each other perfectly and you believe that they deeply love and care for each other which affects their acting chemistry and interaction on screen.
Also this is so important for Ohm because.... 2023 was a tough year for him and I felt relieved to see how happy and glowing he was in 2024, surrounded himself with people who love and deeply respect him. And Leng is one of those people if not the most important piece to that happiness as Ohm Pawat himself stated. I even have proofs! (credits to their owners)
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I wish these boys to live in peace and harmony, supporting and relying on each other. Another proof that communication is the key to happiness!
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Also I hope that their next work will have a good budget, good plot, the characters they want to play and ban-free series name because their fandom has been fighting X's rules about sensitive content for the last 11 weeks of trending. Amen.
What a day to be alive and being oh-yeah!😆
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gabessquishytum · 1 day ago
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HI GABE recently my brother's choir presented "Carmen" and the 1800s' sexism of it all made me a little mad, so here I am, taking it for inspiration and making it Gay™ so that I can fecking go to sleep without fuming lol
Dream is someone who likes to party and knows how to have a good time - he dances from lover to lover without much care for "permanence". He frequents most of the bars and clubs around London, knows most of the people working on these places, he does drugs, does people, and most of the regulars knows him and his ways: you can have him for a single night and be happy for it, but do not try to wish for more than that.
Enter Alex, who had recently lost his father and broken up with his secret boyfriend of a couple years, and is trying to go out more and explore his sexuality, and has the misadventure of having his first one night stand be Dream. Needless to say, he becomes obsessed and tries repeatedly to have Dream's attention for himself, following him around the bars and clubs, insinuating himself in conversations, and when eventually he gets banned from most places, he starts waiting for Dream outside.
Hob, on the other hand, as a regular in a couple of the clubs Dream frequents, has known of him for a while but never tried to tap that, no matter how tempting he looks. They exchange a few words here and there but Hob wishes for things more permanent than a single night, and with the way he falls hard and fast, he knows having Dream once and never again would break his heart.
Things come to a head when Alex and two men try to corner Dream when he's leaving with his partner of the night - it's late and dark and the partner dips the moment it's clear the men are there for Dream only, and Alex still tries to reason with Dream to give them a chance, but when Dream refuses and calls him crazy, he orders the men to grab him and throw him inside the car, and Dream is frantic trying to get away from them—
And Hob appears out of nowhere like an avenging angel with three more guys, punching the man closer to Dream in the face and throwing his entire body against the other one, his friends holding them on the ground while the police is called. Alex unfortunately escapes during the brawl like the coward he is.
After that a new normal is stablished - Dream agrees to let Hob accompany him and the partner of the time their place if it's close enough, or just standing outside with them until their cab arrives. They start talking during these walks/waits, developing a friendship neither of them expected. Dream shares about the parts of his life he keeps separated from his night persona, Hob shares about his ex-wife and time of homelessness, and I don't know if I want to make the end Carmen Canon, make Dream bleed out on Hob's arms after Alex stabs him (don't worry, he gets better lol) or just make them develop a relationship where Dream still does as (and who) he pleases but this time with Hob by his side, while Alex goes back to Paul, the only person who seems to have the patience to deal with him, and begs his ex to take him back
We must always gay-ify the classics, if we can! It makes them so much better!
I feel like as per Carmen canon, it would be right to have Alex attempt to murder Dream in a jealous rage! He's seen that Dream is growing closer to Hob, and although they may still be sleeping with other people, it's entirely clear that they love each other deeply. They're friends, confidants, maybe even soulmates, and Hob seems to understand Dream so perfectly. Alex can't bear the idea of Dream loving anyone else, so he decides that Dream must die. If Alex can't have him then no one can.
Hob wishes that he was the one dying as he holds Dream in his arms, begging for the ambulance to arrive sooner, before it's too late. Dream is so thin and pale anyway, but with the blood-loss he seems even more vulnerable. Hob wants nothing more than to give his own life for Dream, but all he can do is try to keep him warm and stem the bleeding. He prays that Alex's aim was bad, and that the knife didn't hit anything vital. He practically shakes Dream to keep him awake. Promises him that everything will be alright.
In the hospital where he finally wakes up, Dream has vague recollections of Hob’s lips pressing against his skin. He's pretty sure that there was an "I love you" somewhere along the way. And Hob is still right beside him, asleep in the tiny hospital chair.
Dream loves his freedom, his transience and his ability to chose whatever person or people he fancies every night. But it also occurs to him that he really loves Hob. And maybe, the two things can exist together. Why shouldn't be have everything?
One thing is for sure - Alex is lucky that he's going to prison, because Hob would gladly kill him, if he had the chance.
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sakebi-sou-kevin · 14 hours ago
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What if Masked Torchbearer enters the NRC…?
My brother said while looking at the torchbearer appearing at the opening ceremony in Paris 2024. His outfit is like adding twst and sky colt, and then dividing it by 2. ( I really wanted to post this with a crossover with sky colt, but I wanted to show it to someone while I was drawing it, so I posted it first lol)
After that, it is an explanation for those who don't know much about twst. If you're not interested, you don't have to read it😅
1st: Masked Torchbearer wearing NRC (Night Raven College) uniform jacket
2nd: Prefect (the protagonist of twst) who was forced to shelter him by the principal. The creature sleeping next to the torchbearer is the partner of the Prefect
3rd: Rollo (character on the left) is a character modeled on the villain "Agistor Floro" who appears in the animated film "The Bell of Notre Dame" set in medieval Paris. In addition, Rook (the character on the right) is modeled on the hunter who missed the princess into the forest in the animated movie "Snow White". He is a young man with a romantic personality who often uses French in his dialogue.
4th: Floyd is a character modeled on one of the twin Morei eels, the minions of Asura (the villain of the Little Mermaid). He has a habit of giving nicknames to characters other than himself, all of which are related to aquatic creatures. Also, according to his profile, his specialty seems to be parkour. ( By the way, the black ghost is a tropical fish that lives in the Amazon River)
5th: The NRC has a dormitory inspired by seven Disney works, except for the Prefect dormitory. The Pomefiore dormitory, one of them, is a dormitory based on the spirit of Snow White's Evil Queen's "encouragement", so it is a dormitory that seems to suit him who worked hard to carry the torch (This is just a selfish delusion lol). However, this time, his privacy and the aesthetics of the leader of this dormitory have caused a mistake...
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starsechoes · 1 day ago
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uid: 600583067 // na server! if anyone wants to add me (:
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ganondoodle · 1 month ago
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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meanbossart · 1 day ago
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re: Vellioth as the stepfather its interesting bc stepfathers n media (and irl but limiting myself to tropes here) hav the practical role and obligations we tend to ascribe to fathers ie providing money and protection and being the head of the household, but do not share a blood tie to the child in question. and it is seen as magnanimous for a man to "take on the duty" of providing ofr the children of the woman he's with, rather than duty. This shifts also means that implicitly the stepchild should be grateful for this new patriarch in their life, which is complicated because most often this stepfather occupies a place of control. In cazador's caze i feel like bc there was no father to speak of, his resentment of vellioth as The Stepfather had more to do with intruding and vying for attention from the woman they both love, rather than usurping the OG father. Come to think of it, having no experience with a father figure before vellioth probably made the shift to a patriarch that more jarring. And considering that he positions himself s the Father of his spawns, he probably modelled a lot on Vellioth (or in antithesis of).
ultimately velloith did what stepchildren often fear secretly most: intruding, appropriating, and evnetually the destruction of the family unit as it was
I might not have expressed myself super well in that reply- I was comparing Vellioth to a step father in the same way people loosely compare Cazador to a patriarch/abusive partner. I certainly didn't mean it to be literal - neither in the comic I referenced or in my personal headcanon (which are functionally identical) does Vellioth ever actually inhabit the role of a surrogate dad in Cazador's life. Rather, that is the perception that he's vaguely trying to sell to others to maintain the ruse.
I clear this up because I am (personally) not of the belief that Vellioth and Cazador ever had a relationship outside of the dynamics of master and slave, which might be a little more simple than you were hoping for, based on this ask (unless I'm misreading, in that case ignore me LOL)
But if we're speaking strictly in allegory - yes. Vellioth makes for a specially juicy satire of a step-father who intrudes, disrupts, and yet overvalues themselves for doing the least on the basis of being there by choice rather than obligation (keeping Cazador alive as a spawn when he could have just killed him off) but I don't think any part of him is doing that under the false pretense of charity - he only wants to keep Cazador around to hurt him, because that would hurt his mother.
(Something I also neglected to say is that in De Rerum Natura ((not spelled out in the comic explicitly, but stated so as a headcanon of the very smart and handsome author)) Cazador was never meant to become a vampire. That was a fate his mother very much did not want for him.)
And, perhaps, every vampire lord harbors a little self-destructive desire. If you don't invest a non-negligible amount of time and energy into making ONE particular guy super mad at you, who is ever going to finally put you out of your misery after all!
EITHER WAY this image you sent me is still very good and thank you for sending it LOL (art by @barbatusart)
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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 7 months ago
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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
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cyellolemon · 4 months ago
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A comic about Olive, and his meeting with the guy who could have ruined his life if it wasn't already so fucked up
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myreia · 3 months ago
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✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D
Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#doh#give me more glam plates so all of my doh don't have to be on the same plate SE you cowards!!!#so funny story: i didn't want to craft at all#and then i came back from a 6 month break and started doing a bit of doh on my alt#and i really liked it#so i stopped playing my alt and went back to aur and now she has full doh/dol LOL#the quests are so cute i really enjoyed how different they are from the combat ones#and i love the doh/dol tribal quests (the ones i've done haven't done all of them yet)#they're a nice change of pace#i just find it funny that i went from basically combat only - kill kill kill - to “give me a second i need to make this thing rq”#retirement arc in full swing#but nah it makes sense for aur to be self-sufficient#she's not an expert at anything doh-related but she knows enough to keep her stuff maintained#she has a whole cooking arc that rearranges her relationship with food and family after feeling for years like food is for fuel only#and she makes her own earrings#one of the reasons she has as many piercings in her ears#(not possible in screenshots since i don't have the skill or the knowledge to add them to her ear mod just pretend they're there!)#and a piercing in her navel is because she did them herself as a way to regain bodily autonomy after defecting from garlemald#she fixes her friends and her partner's gear too when needed#also please perceive nutkin chilling in the background i love that little munchkin so much you have no idea
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sysig · 1 month ago
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is this where u take the requests? if not, apologies lol still learning tumblr, I WAS WONDERING IF MY VARGAS RELATED REQUESTOBER REQUEST COULD BE JAKE/NNY? i feel like jake/nny is SO looked past like its actually so cute, they could be doing anything THANK U IF THIS WAS THE WRONG PLACE SORRY MWAH MWAH X
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Day 12 - Once you had one hole in your skin, you've had 'em all
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Jake#Nny#*looks at your comment of NnyGaster being cursed* *looks at this* Well I mean at least you're consistent#Of all the crackships I haven't considered I possibly haven't considered this one the most#I mean considering I Just got into Nny/Scriabin lol#I have extreme Edgar/Scriabin blinders lol this is known#Is this a thing and I just don't know? I can't even snark I just - it Literally Never Occurred to me lol#Edgar got all the shipping charts and diagrams and graphs he's special that way <3#I love Jake dearly and don't want him to be hurt! Unlike the Vargases lol ♥ I love them dearly and Do want them be hurt#Precarious position anyone who gets paired up with Johnny haha#I suppose if Johnny's still in Sweet Mode that's one thing but!! the rest of him!!!#Their dynamic over something like piercings Is interesting tho - Jake hangs out with artsy types and Nny is definitely that lol#And Johnny's y'know - weird about stuff lol - I could see him getting into a pierced partner! No pun intended#And obviously Jake is very good on boundaries <3 He's not actually touching him here just gesturing at his ear#It also occurs to me that I can't think of a time I've seen Johnny with tattoos :0 Body modification+art! (+bodily weirdness)#Might be something there to look at sometime hmmm#Anyhow - continuing my trend of drawing Nny on the hood of the car over the cliff haha#I didn't think I had leveled up all that much from last year but comparing the two??? I'm Way more pleased with this one#Still struggling with the bottom of the shoe but better! Practicing!!!#Maybe there Is something to drawing just a bit bigger lol#Nny also looks significantly less anemic from not having died yet lol#Really pleased with the harder edges of the unlined shapes ♪ I used that grass brush on everything and it's dope#Do I like backgrounds???? First lining now this so much to consider
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tonariofjananda · 2 years ago
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Based on a this ask
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bunnihearted · 3 months ago
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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kavehater · 4 months ago
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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