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#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes
moeblob · 1 day
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son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control
#my characters#oops i fell in love#right is trying his best in the au to think about all the logic behind killing someone despite being a cleric SPECIFICALLY#bc he refuses to hurt anyone irl or in dnd and ok fine their warlock can have a little murder as a treat#and the body count is adding up and hes like ... so tired..... please can you not kill for five minutes im running out of excuses#fwiw he has the weird logic of the group in the base plot and the guy who is the gm here#is v open about ok but if we ask right then hell give an unhinged answer completely thought out and rationalized#and in fact asks him hey i know you refuse to hurt people but im having a debate with these two coworkers#if you had to commit a crime for aaaaaanyone on the planet who would you commit a crime for#and he doesnt even hesitate to say luca obviously to which the asker is like WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER#YOU WANNA MARRY HER AND WONT COMMIT A CRIME FOR HER? but LUCA? of all people???? not even brent?#and right is just so confused because first off brent would probably be the one committing a crime for him without being forced#(brent agrees with this statement with a shrug) and second off luca has really weird coworkers and thought he was getting stalked for a bit#due to a misunderstanding with said one weird coworker so yeah obviously right would threaten the guy with a gun which is illegal and#third and final how could he face his beloved angel (the daughter mentioned above) if he was a criminal#he cant tarnish a sweet little innocent girls opinion by committing a crime IN HER NAME gosh fuck off with that attitude#he has STANDARDS thank you very much#and the three at the table are all like okay yeah that was really thought out on the fly youre right#also brent do not commit any crimes for him please and brent just nods in agreement bc ok he wont commit a crime unprompted#also hi animal crossing emotes are so fun to doodle for bye#once again i am baffled by how different the colors look on my laptop in the art program vs posting to tumblr#im going to go insane at how different they look#IM COLOR PICKING FOR MY OWN OCS AND ITS SO WRONG LOOKING IDK MAN
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rivendell-poet · 3 days
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Hihi! Can I please have headcanons with the fellowship and Thorin's company having a short (like 5 feet) human s/o. And they be part of the fellowship/company, please? Please take as much time as you need!💕
Hi! Thank you so much for your request, and I'm so sorry it took so long. Also, thank you so much for the last part - it's small but means a lot 💕 (should be doing one for Thorin's company as well)
*・༓˚✧❝𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫❞‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « headcanons »
○ Aragorn ○ Legolas ○ Gimli ○ Boromir ○ Pippin ○ Merry ○ Sam ○ Frodo ○
GN!Reader | No TWs | Can be read as platonic or romantic | Wordcount : 1.7k
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𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐧
✧ He’s the person you have the largest height difference with. Because he’s weirdly tall. 
✧ When the two of you stand next to each other Pippin will sometimes stare. He’s confident that one of you isn’t truly human. Who that is depends on the day.
✧ Aragorn isn’t really bothered by it, cares more about if you can handle yourself on the battlefield.
✧ Does make sure that you have the weapons you need constantly.
✧ Knows it’s probably difficult to find the right sized ones, so after a battle he can be found sharpening yours (generally while humming something).
✧ Has forgotten about the height difference once when you were cold and he gave you his cloak.
✧ Tried very hard not to laugh when you become completely swamped in the fabric and almost fall over.
✧ (He mainly succeeds.)
✧ Will fetch anything you need off the high shelves, and always puts it back on the lower shelves.
𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬
✧ Closest of the ‘big people’ in terms of height difference. Not that that means much, because he’s still six feet.
✧ Is constantly asking you to describe the flowers you find. If they’re at a stage he finds it ok, will ask you to pick them up and hand it to him.
✧ Always tells you to ‘watch your head’ whenever he goes through a hallway he has to duck under. Has yet to correct himself on doing this.
✧ Treats your height a lot like he does Gimli’s, except he gets used to you slightly quicker.
✧ If you have not packed a bow he is very sad you can’t do archery together.
✧ Scours places for bows of your size with a slightly worrying intensity.
✧ Eventually, after the war is over, he commissions you one. It’s very beautiful, with dark wood and a gold leaf inlay of the different places you’ve been and enemies you’ve fought.
✧ Is actually a very good archery instructor, treats you how he would the others and it works out.
✧ Will fetch you anything from the high shelves, you just have to ask him first.
𝐆𝐢𝐦𝐥𝐢
✧ Closest in height to you. Is very relieved to find someone else of a normal height when surrounded by everyone else.
✧ You’re taller than he was, but he doesn’t care. Just happy that even though you’re taller than him you’re still almost on the same eye-level.
✧ Is very smug to the others that his weapon is around the same height as you - so the easiest to pick up. And with the best tutor.
✧ Does try to teach you how to use the axe, in some ways is a very good teacher but not all the time. Good offensively, lacking some defensive manoeuvres.
✧ Tries hard to learn your fighting style if you offer to teach him.
✧ Always insists you get first pick of everything when the Fellowship find items that can fit the two of you.
✧ When running across the plains the both of you blame the other one for being the slowest. Both of you also claim to be the better sprinter, neither of you have intentions of proving this claim.
✧ Would happily get you something from the high shelf if he could reach it. Has tried to convince you to climb up via him to get something instead of asking for help.
𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐫
✧ Along with Aragorn, he also doesn’t make a very big deal of it. You were trusted to be in the Fellowship, what else matters?
✧ You like to sometimes pretend you can’t see the height difference between Aragorn and Boromir and insist Boromir is the taller one. Both men know you’re probably faking, but neither correct you (for different reasons).
✧ Asks you for help to teach the hobbits how to spar, for example if a certain move he wants to teach them would be too risky - and what your advice is.
✧ Has supervised matches between you, Merry, and Pippin before. To your surprise he actually gives genuine, entirely unbiased feedback to all of you.
✧ Small part of him is amused by the fact his shield covers most of you. Would never say that out loud.
✧ (Boromir also finds it comforting, because it just means that it will be easier to protect you.)
✧ Very occasionally sketches out shield designs for you, if he has a lot of free time with most others being asleep. Writes the symbolism behind them in the margins.
✧ Will happily fetch you things from the high shelf. Puts them back onto the same high shelf out of instinct, then realises what he’s done and puts them onto a lower one you can reach.
𝐏𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧
✧ Believes (lies to himself) that one day he may be as tall as you.
✧ Therefore constantly asks about how different life is when you’re as tall as you are (at the start of the Fellowship) despite the fact you’re only a foot and a bit above him.
✧ He insists that being your height will solve a lot of the problems he has in life. Merry says it’s better to just humour him.
✧ Has asked for piggy-back rides from you a few times. When you finally agree his eyes light up, there is pure joy as he sees the world from your perspective.
✧ After the entdraught one of his first thoughts is of you.
✧ Pippin wants to be taller than you. When he sees you again he runs straight into you, pulling you into a hug and then seeing if he has to look up to meet your height.
✧ Is crushed when he realises you’re still taller than him. Although he is around 4’8” now - so there’s much less of a height difference.
✧ Can finally reach the same shelves you can, and gives you the items from them even if you were just getting them.
✧ Has tried to climb up a shelving unit before to get to the top shelves. It ended as well as you think it did.
𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲
✧ Very surprised by your height, but also very enthusiastic. Didn’t think he’d ever be able to have conversation with a big folk without them constantly looming over him.
✧ Finally has someone other than Pippin he can show the little alcoves to, and then can spend time with them there.
✧ Every so often he’ll underestimate your height and you won’t be able to fit in - he’s always very apologetic when this happens.
✧ Only person who offers his cloak, and it’s actually a reasonable size for you. Slightly short but better than the other options, so you gladly take it.
✧ The thought of him being taller than you after taking the entdraught doesn’t even occur until he sees you again. Keeps his intentions fairly well hidden.
✧ Does the same thing he did with Pippin - ‘subtly’ measuring your height with his hand. Vehemently denies everything if caught doing it.
✧ Asks you about your tailors and if you own any patterns once he’s nearer your height. For the first few months you can see a lot of your stylistic choices find their way into Merry’s wardrobe.
✧ Would fetch you things from the high shelf if he could. Alas, he cannot - and he also values his dignity enough to not try and climb them.
✧ (Has secretly climbed them once with Pippin. The reason he doesn’t do it again is because he knows it will fail.)
𝐒𝐚𝐦
✧ Still thinks you're tall enough for the height difference to be slightly intimidating. He isn’t scared of you, it just comes from the tallest person he knew before you being around four feet.
✧ Other than that he treats you as he would everyone else, most respectfully and always looking out for your best interests.
✧ You are the person he goes too instinctively if he needs someone slightly taller than himself. Is always very apologetic about it, and promises to make it up to you.
✧ Generally makes it up to you by giving you one of the best portions of whatever he’s cooked for the night. Often with ingredients you managed to find for him.
✧ Also searches places to see if they’ll have weapons of the correct size for you.
✧ Is just as good as the people actually trained in combat, although it’s because he’s closer to your height - not because of his martial prowess.
✧ After the cave troll fight you’re the one he goes too, shyly asking if you’ll give him a few lessons.
✧ Sam is a very diligent student, and always gives you a bright smile every time. Thanking you for letting him protect Mr. Frodo that bit better.
✧ Unfortunately, he needs you to get him things from the ‘high shelves’ - but he would certainly help you if he could.
𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨
✧ Subtle and polite look of amazement the first time he sees you, internally checking your height compared to his.
✧ He is somewhat sad that you’re just too tall to appreciate a lot of his walking sticks. Does find one or two in Bilbo’s collection that could be given to you.
✧ Always touched whenever you find him a ‘walking stick’ esque branch, although it’s sometimes slightly too tall for him.
✧ Often points out flowers and other beautiful things to you and Sam, because you’ll have the best view of it.
✧ After Aragorn, you’re his go-too person to hide behind and ask for protection. He feels bad about it the first few times, but you’re always there to reassure him.
✧ You and Aragorn have both moved in front of Frodo for protection at the same time. Always a moment of awkward silence and then shuffling into a decent position for the both of you.
✧ When seeing you, Pippin, and Merry all laughing together - one of them reaching out and ruffling your hair - he is somewhat envious about them now being around your height.
✧ However, he’s also grateful that he’s kept the same height. So Frodo isn’t too sad about it.
✧ Would fetch you things from the high shelves, although in reality you need to fetch things for him.
A/N : Hopefully you enjoyed, not entirely sure why this one turned out so platonic. But I am making one for thorin's company and I'll try make that one more obviously romantic. Thanks so much for reading and requesting!
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thank you for reading *・༓˚✧ Taglist : @celestialhole / @starwars2222 / @xiaoseminence / @withasideofmeg / @nilintakan / @ferns-fics / @fleurdemiel-145 / @chewgazellechew / @recordofragnarokfan2 ✧ wish to be tagged?
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wolfstarwereinlove · 2 days
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honestly even if izoch didnt become canon, i think they still had the best conclusion out of any relationships. the last climax of the final war was their talk, izuku basically calling ochako his hero and holding her hand? meanwhile we havent even gotten an actual talk between bkdk and izuku didnt even acknowledge anything bakugo did for him. thats why many people think hori chickened out from confirming izuoch and just left it soft canon/implied at the end.
i disagree with u, but i respect your opinion, i will show why i disagree tho
first:
izuku and ochako are definitely important to each other this is canon and is beyond love relationship, they are friends first, like everyone in class 1A, this is the canon part that is not implied. Obviously if some people view more as love it’s ok too!
but now let’s talk about the importance of the acknowledgment of the hero thing and the hold hands in mha!
calling someone hero there is to show how this person is important, it’s not romantic at all. Izuku is kota and eri’s hero and obviously this is not romantic, it’s a way to show to that person how much their existence impacted on them. (and shoto also said something similar about izuku being he’s hero) And izuku calling ochako hero there make total sense, why? because she was struggling because she didn’t save himiko, that’s way he said that ochako was he’s hero, because even tho he couldn’t say that she was himiko’s hero deku needed to show her that she is important as a person, not as a friend, not as a lover, as a hero.
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and i love this part because shows a lot about uraraka’s development! and i will also say the importance of him calling her by hero and not heroine, as her japanese VA said, uraraka is a hero so she is a woman that goes there and worked for her own things as a HERO, she recived and sacrificed herself for that work, if hori used heroine so this would make them being implied because heroine is the love interest, the girl who is a hero but is always saved, and kidnapped, and used as a weapon of torture, to disturb the hero
and who recived that cargo? katsuki.
now the hand hold, this is way more symbolic because it’s like a izuku’s thing and iz//chas used that as the biggest reason just because the hand hold has more history with bkdk than with anyone else 💀, but in mha holding a hand is to support someone or/and asking if they are by someone’s side, just because someone hold the others hand this doesn’t imply nothing and i say that for bkdk too! Iida, kirishima, ochako, aoyama, tenko, all of them had their holding hand, kiri with katsuki and the rest with izuku and this just shows the importance of the “hold hands”
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but why this is important for bkdk? because katsuki rejected. Again this doesn’t mean that they are a romantic pair! BUT ITS MORE SPECIAL BECAUSE ITS THEM. the thing is the whole bkdk development was around that fucking river scene with the no hold hand, so the importance of this to bkdk is to show their development and their relationship, but not to say like omg they are canon, if was just because of this so half of mha would be canon. And the problem is that iz//chas misunderstood that and made this as the final point, but there was just two friends talking about how ochako was sad because of himiko (who i dare say had more impact in ochako’s life than deku did, because she showed to uraraka her importance and made uraraka understand more the villans and watch them with another eyes)
and obviously the reaching for izuku’s hand is one of the biggest reasons why the hold hand with bkdk is important in another level, this represents katsuki accepting izuku and he’s friendship, it’s when he decided to be different, to be better and be with izuku for the rest of their lives
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second:
i’ll be sincere to you, i also missed a scene with a bkdk talk. But i do not agree when u said that izu//ocha had the best conclusion, because mha is about izuku and katsuki. The manga started with them and ended with them (and all might). Platonic, romantic, whatever they are, they had the best conclusion because the show revolves around them, without one there would not have the other.
All katsuki’s development was around izuku and he’s relationship with izuku, everything he did was to izuku or for izuku, he grow up, he died, he cried, he trusted, he changed because he understood through his relationship with Izuku.
And izuku didn’t have to acknowledge anything because he already trusted katsuki even from the beginning and izuku called katsuki he’s hero a long time ago, AND izuku saw katsuki crying because he lost he’s quirk so he knows.
they know eachother more than themselves so has no need to do such things.
third:
izu//cha was not implied at all in the final, they didn’t even talked in the time skip, while bkdk talked before and after so, has nothing implied there is actually about iz//cha
but kacchan spending years saving money with their classmates and all might (with him being the heart of it) and working harder everyday so izuku and him could be heroes together for the rest of their lives? oh this is a romantic thing to talk about
and he finally reaching his hand back? i dare say CINEMA
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jezabelle9299 · 1 day
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Intimidating S.R x FEM! reader
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Overture-While you're cataloging a new collection in the archives, a young Spencer Reid wanders down in search of an art print stored in a different archive.
Inspired by the opening of season 2 episode 14 'The Big Game', when Gideon visits the Smithsonian to look at Havell's Audubon paintings. (We're going to pretend this isn't the episode Reid gets kidnapped in) Later piece is inspired by any of the many times prostitutes flirt with Reid throughout the early seasons. I looked at a few maps and online catalogs of the museums current collections to kinda figure out how long it would take to walk there, and what pieces are stored where, but it might not be 100% accurate so don't hold me to it.
Cws- Brief mentions of robbery and prostitution (separate occasions)
A/N- This has been bouncing around my brain like a DVD menu screen, I'm so excited about it. I'm a museum studies major so I'm making this girl live all of my dreams.
Your favorite part of the job by far, was cataloging the new pieces. Whether they were from other museums or private collections, unpacking those boxes let you indulge in a bit of nosiness everytime. This particular collection was from a recently closed exhibit, so you were doing the overnight shift. No one else was in this part of the museum, and your boss was doing a showing of some prints to a collections enthusiast so you had the place to yourself. 
You threw on some headphones and got to work, once you finished this you could go home. You’d just cataloged and packed the first half of the pieces, but as you were about to start on the rest, you saw something move out of the corner of your eye. Archives were a slightly creepy place to be at night anyway, the shelves looming over you, and the underground structure providing little light outside of your small workspace, but that was definitely unusual. When you finally turned around, there was a full-on stranger walking towards you. He was about your age, but he definitely didn’t work here, you would’ve remembered 
“Jesus! Walk louder! I didn’t hear you come down here.” 
“I called out twice to try and see if there was anyone down here.”
“Point taken.” You shrugged it off, you’d never seen him before. He definitely didn’t work here, he was cute and about your age. You’d remember him. You both stood there just kind of looking at each other, not fully sure what would happen next.
“Are you going to like— rob me now? Or maybe introduce yourself?”
“Oh! Sorry, my name's Spencer Reid, I was here with a colleague. He was looking at some ornithology prints upstairs, and he told me to come down to find—well you I assume, and get the last print in the set, and ask for directions to the coffee machine?”
“Sure! Just come over here and I’ll look it up for you.” You set down your clipboard to head back to your little desk, the only one with the lamp still on. 
“So, what exactly are you looking for?”
“It’s a Robert Havell, Frigate Pelican.” You typed in the name into your system to make sure, but you knew now why your boss didn’t come to get it himself. It wasn’t in this museum, it was in the archive under the Renwick gallery, almost a mile away. 
“Alright, I can be back with it in like an hour, it’s at the gallery on 17th street. This was a split collection and it’s still in that archive. There’s a coffee machine down the hall on your left, and I can meet you back in my boss’s office.”
“An hour? Are you walking this late at night?” 
“Yep. But I’ll go as quickly as possible.”
“I can’t in good conscience let you walk that far by yourself this late at night, would it be alright if I came with you?” 
“Alright! Only if you want to though, I promise you don’t have to.”
“I want to, if that’s ok.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” You smiled at him, and while you were grabbing your keys and ID, he went from relieved you said it was ok, to completely red at the idea of being around you alone for the next hour. He was stuck in place as you passed him and got halfway down the hall, before he started running to catch up. 
“Where exactly are we going?”
“We need to go up the elevator, through the garden, and then it’s pretty much a straight shot down 15th and through Lafayette park.”
“I thought we could get through the archives?”
“We could, but it would take longer. I get distracted easily, and it’s a nice night out anyway.”
*****
About halfway through your walk, you’d already felt like you knew him. When you were passing through a particularly busy part of the street, someone called out to you. Well not you, they called out to Spencer. 
“Hey cutie, you’re back. I told you I’d remember you.” A woman in high heels, a fur coat, and shorts entirely too short for the chilly weather, called out for him. You didn’t place any judgment on her, but the look you gave Spencer. Shock, and trying your best to stifle laughter at his panic.
“Oh–um. Have a good night.” He rushed off, in his haste grabbing your elbow to pull you along with him. Once he’d gotten far enough away for his embarrassment to pare down, he let go of you, realizing with a whole new sense of self-consciousness that he touched you without even thinking about it. 
“That was not what it looked like. I swear– I was talking to her with my boss last week, we were doing interviews for a case; and she well– she called me cute, which is what that was about.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I would tend to agree with her anyway– you are pretty memorable.”
“I– thank you. You’re memorable too.”
You walked the rest of the way with Spencer almost trailing a half step behind you. You were so mesmerizing, he just couldn’t help it. 
By the time you finished the walk, arriving at the security booth to get back inside the archives, you already felt like you knew Spencer. 
“ID please.” The security guard spared a singular glance towards yours, and you realized you forgot to ask Spencer if he had his on him. 
“Oh I forgot they check IDs of any guests coming into the archives, you have your driver's license on you, right? Or any ID is probably fine. I didn’t even think about it.”
While you were rambling about it, Spencer pulled out his credentials, showed it to the guard as if it were nothing. Because he’s a federal agent -apparently- he didn’t need a visitor badge. 
“You’re in the FBI?”
“Yes?”
“How on Earth did that never come up on the twenty minute walk here.” You finally got moving again towards the art storage, now trailing alongside Spencer, more focused on him than looking where you were going. 
“It did.” 
“When?”
“Why did you think I was interviewing a prostitute?”
“I don’t know! I thought you were like– a lawyer or something. You’re so fancy! And nice! And you know– Young!” 
“I–you think I’m fancy?”
“You’re wearing a suit with a sweater vest at 9pm on a Saturday night.” 
“Fair enough. But no, I'm not a lawyer. I’m glad you think I’m nice though.” It was your turn for your face to heat, and for you to hide your head. 
“Of course I think you're nice.”
When you finally found what you were looking for, you started heading back. He told you about some of his interests, but mostly he wanted to know about you. All you wanted to hear about was him though, he was so interesting. 
“What do you do for the FBI?” 
“Behavioral Analysis”
“Oh my god. Oh if I’d known that I would’ve changed everything I’ve done so far. That’s– I mean that’s so intimidating” And now he was laughing at you. 
“I don’t think anyone has ever described me as intimidating. Off-putting and annoying sure, but intimidating is new.” 
“You’re very intimidating. I’ve never met a guy who knew that much about historical art without even being in the field before, and now I know you could read my behavior? I must’ve come off like a total idiot like–15 times by now.”
“I don’t think so, quite the opposite actually.”
“Well thank you, but I was making a conscious effort not to make it clear I have a huge crush on you, and then you tell me you could tell anyway?” 
“You have a crush on me?”
“Well–yeah. I thought you could tell.”
“Not really.”
“Oh.” It felt like an eternity before he responded.
“I have a crush on you too, for the record.” 
“Yeah?”
“Most definitely.”
An older man came out of the building before you could walk back in.
“Reid! Where’d you go? JJ called, we need to leave for the office.” 
“Oh–um, I’ll call you? What’s your number?” You checked your lanyard and your pockets as best as you could while holding the flat-packed print. 
“I don’t have a pen or anything on me.”
“You can just tell me, I’ll remember it.”  After you said your goodbyes he disappeared again, and you went to put away the rest of the collection. Spencer called you the next morning to set up your first date, and though he never stopped amazing you, you wouldn’t describe him as intimidating anymore.
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la-galaxie-langblr · 3 months
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job rant incoming
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bunnihearted · 25 days
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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scrollonso · 1 month
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mňau 🤨
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erisolkat · 2 months
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god i hate everyone
#who thought it would be cute to immediately start ribbing me about how hairy and bald and ugly im gonna be when i go on t#one. im taking minoxidil. two. i wanna be hairy. and three. im not transitioning to attract you guys im transitioning to attract other trans#people! other trans guys find it hot come on!#like ok so dads brother is out here rn right#so first mom tells me hes gonna ask me questions about being trans. ok fine.#second she starts going on about how i had to be emotionally vulnerable with like 3 different therapists for this. whatever.#then when i start participating in the conversation she immediately asks “so how are you feeling about losing all your hair”#THEN she has the audacity to say to my uncle “yeah its sort of a gamble hes either gonna end up hairy like the italian side or fairly#baby smooth like yall“ when she fucking KNOWS that im dysphoric about my lack of body hair#and this happens every time! and its out of nowhere constantly!#all the while the cis men in the room are fucking bullying me with all this toxic masculinity bullshit!#sometimes i just wish i had never come out is all im saying#kept this a secret until i became an adult yknow. yeah i would have to do everything myself but it wouldn't be like this#just because i told you that you could call me a fag doesnt mean youre suddenly allowed to do microagressions constantly#shes tickled to fucking death with calling my future bottom growth my “teenie weenie” what the fuck! what the fuck!!!#and meanwhile every time i try to say words or make a joke my dad and grandpa jump on the fucking opportunity to correct me! or cut me off!#sorry im fucking exhausted i barely slept at all the night before last and got i think maybe 7 hours of sleep at most last night#and i just got out of therapy which always wears me out
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iiusia · 15 days
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hm.
#if you find yourself worried that growing in faith will remove parts of your personality becayde you might suddenly lose interest in#what makes you you#thats something you really have to like Investigate. deep down. because in the end even if you change a bit you will be Better. l#like you will be where God wants you to be#the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked etc#like i GET IT but also . growing in faith doesnt make you a Totally Different Person it doesnt take away all your interests#maybe it changes how you interact with them and the importance you place on them but like#me being more spiritually mature than i was a year ago doesn't mean that im not interested in poetry anymore or i dont like all the media#im invested in anymore#EVEN when i felt called to stop listening to secular music#i was like oh well ill just be boring now#no girl theres worlds out there of good music by christian artists you just gotta find it#anyways. this is rambly#i cant really make this concise#but really like. sometimes you gotta reconsider your priorities#God created you as you are WITH your personaliyy#sure we were born in sin etc but your personality being sanctified does not mean that you will lose it#yk#anyways#reminds me of this story abt a guy asking an older brother about if he should be listening to secular music#and the brother was like . ok well first off answer me this#if God told you to only listen to ska music for the rest of your life would you listen#and the guy was like ?? what??? no???#and the brother was like well then you still place your preferences higher than Gods#kind of silly and i do still think theres nuance in the music thing#but like. Yk. The Basic Idea
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castielfucks · 5 months
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I wish more people realized that when someone is seeking diagnosis, it's not because we are trying to collect diseases like infinity stones. it's not to be quirky or interesting.
diagnosis is the guide to resources and community. knowing how to help yourself, being able to understand yourself, connecting with others with similar experiences so you dont feel crazy or alone, finding the right places to look for relief and support, learning about accommodations that can make your life not only easier but liveable.
and for all these reasons, people are allowed to be excited for their diagnosis, theyre allowed to lean into it and advocate for themselves with language they didn't even know existed for the way they live. it is entirely normal to be happy and relieved after finding out that not only is there a name for your experience, but also people groups communities just like you ready to talk about it and support each other.
diagnosis opens up entire worlds for people, that's a good thing. and we need to stop shaming anyone who wants/seek it.
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bylertruther · 1 year
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man makes a post specifically about /mike's/ level of comfort to do overtly gay shit, and how often it's /will/ who gets written as the uncomfortable one, people read it on mike and will's ability to do public gay shit /together/ in hawkins. okay
stopppfbshsjsbsbd it's ok 💔 the mike angst jus doesn't hit like the will angst does on bylertruther.edu.gov i guess.. they were going based off of someone else's tags so thts why it steered tht way i think.
one day we will be able to acknowledge that mike's inability to withstand even the most innocent and brief of touches with will specifically and his constant pushing will away and hyperfocusing on el may be something more in the realm of mike struggling with his sexuality and his feelings and choosing to focus on the less scary and more "normal" thing as a means of trying to get control over his situation instead of just.... (looks at the gen tag) assuming that mike is a gay disaster with no depth who is in a relationship with a girl he knows he doesn't romantically love but obviously that's as deep as that goes and there's nothing more to it or troubling about that at all? okay ❤️
mike can't hug will, can't even brush arms with him, but that's just because.... (checks tag again) will is so unbelievably sexy that it melts his brain? ok. mike is in a relationship with a girl he doesn't like Like That or in the Correct way and he STAYS in it even though he feels like shit and tries his best to make it work and worries the entire time over it way more than even she does.... but nah. he's fine! he's got that shit on lock bc he's clearly the king of compartmentalizing and self-acceptance. he'll jump right into that gay shit easy peasy and kiss will on the mouth asap!!
like. jdvdjsnshahajsn. rambling in this ask bc my tummy hurty which is making me feel like my brain is a box of bees tht someone just shook but i just. mike as a character is so endlessly fascinating there's an entire WORLD to explore in him as a queer dude in his precarious position like. it's a wealth of angst it pulls at your heartstrings he feels so much but he can't express it he Refuses to express it until he has no other choice and they're at the literal end of the fucking line he ruins things and then he tries desperately to fix them he knows his loved ones so well that he knows just where to strike and what to say to make it better like he's just . he thought he had to let go of what he loved to be a man he quit holding and touching his gay best friend that he has feelings for and tossed him to the side in favor of his gf who is supposed to resemble him.
i just. HE LITERALLY DOES THAT WITH NO ONE ELSE?! AND YOU GUYS (/gen) THINK ITS WEIRD AND CRAZY AND OOC FOR HIM TO BE HESITANT TO DO GAY SHIT..... TO BE SCARED TO ENGAGE WITH THAT PART OF HIMSELF EYES WIDE OPEN KNOWINGLY WALKING INTO THE LIGHT AND EMBRACING THAT LARGER THAN LIFE CHANGE WHICH IS SO OFTEN A DEATH SENTENCE........ YOU THINK IT'D BE WEIRD OF MIKE WHEN WE ALREADY KNOW HE DOESN'T ALLOW HIMSELF THE SAME GRACE, UNDERSTANDING, OR ACCEPTANCE AS HE DOES OTHERS?
takes a deep breath and plops down on ur dash . i jus have a lot of Mike Feelings okay ...... i see an opportunity to speak on him n i Take it!!!!!!! there is so much to him and his experience and people just don't want to come anywhere near it or any of the possibilities and it Kills me it really does .
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moshieee · 8 months
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Is mosh-mosh going ti stay around on the blog?
Oh yea definitely
I've been having a lot of fun drawing mosh-mosh in no small part because what they represent for me
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It's a bit uhhh, personal and is mostly relevant to my mutuals and other friends I made...
so I'll put it in the tags Incase you don't want to read
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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 months
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truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style
#reading also that original Lovelessness essay ''love is meant to make me human / love is also the mechanism by which my humanity#has been denied'' always preferring to have [sorry! couldn't fully bottle up this Emotiona externally manifesting at all!] Ignored rather#than ''nicely'' interacted with so as to Invalidate; Dismiss; someone's annoyed at you for having it; etc#for bonus context like we are not in the same boat with it.#not a case of ''the same situation; mine is worse though'' like no; fundamentally different situations here lmao. mine is worse#If You Feel So Bad. Or At All. then at least now do me the favor of Not Saying That; Repeatedly#their feelings put on me too in other ways. stewing resentment into lashing out; tossing out ''but i'm justified'' like ok! Your business!!#the ol like. If You're Going To Do Something Anyways then how you justify it to yourself is Your business / b/w you & your god as they say#& the last thing to do is be making it the problem of ppl Most Affected by what you're gonna do anyways & Also ask their Absolution.....#like if you need more moral support abt What You're Doing Anyways: turn to Anyone Else. even No One if you have to.#bit going tf through it when it's spilling over into Posting but such is life!! we all have that [the horrors. girl help] blogger on dash#again the tl;dr like oh you don't say. the [umm but have you considered? My Feelings! (they're so sympathetic at all. yor welcome)] is#the mechanism through which Really basic sympathy is being denied & replaced with [Saying Nothing would've been less hurtful]#misgendering me the other night too while Also all 'hey I'm trying to talk to the customer service. why are You going up & talking first'#(that was me experiencing the latter. i didn't say it but i was like cmon. my glasses are fogging up w/surgical mask (don't have access to#more effective masks so doing what Nonzero i can there) i'm a bit carsick i'm weathering a crisis. can i have anything here lol)#just Oh You Know. The Horrors....#balancing ofc trying to endure trying to self soothe etc etc. with ''it's the horrors. it's gonna be horrific & you're gonna be affected''#ah the [being kind to oneself] like also means knowing how reasonable it is to Not solo contain & endure & Cope Through everything....#crushing a paper cup in my hands genuinely i would like to generously thank my virtual allies out here today. mic feedback#irl In Real Life? life is Real asf here & nobody Realer than them
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bibleofficial · 3 months
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move
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#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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hearties-circus · 8 months
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Oh g-d I've been withdrawing
#gamer txt.#i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that#theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them#because i want attention#and that scares tge hell out of me#how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me#why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me#even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different#hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother#since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned#are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them?#g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues'#that is insulting#and whats worse is that its a lie#6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time#i dont do it. ever#and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst#i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those#i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt#also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point#i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less#im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok#bevause i would i think i would really just give up#i dont know what gl do#ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before#ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why#i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest#im gonna try to sleep
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re: what fandom 'a little life' came from, my immediate knee-jerk thought was "backstreet boys." i have absolutely no basis for this other than Terminally Online Brain Worms esp bc..........there are 5 of those boyband fellas and as far as i remember only 4 main characters in that book lmfao. what can i say. the boyband angle feel right
yeah i'll incorporate that into my belief system
#fandom life#total speculation!!!!!! but i love it!#a little life#Ok but fr i think the time period of peak bsb rpf fits HY's age group#Also the (initial) thing of we are a group of successful handsome men all just kind of hanging out .. is very boyband au rpf ..#the nebulousness of the setting (in time period etc) is very fanfictiony to me the thing of everyone being successful in different fields#very fanfictiony#And one of them has a horribly traumatic backstory... classic fanfic trope! tho taken to extremes here. who here remembers#the 'rape recovery' fanfic trope. HY said what if that.. but no recovery . which sure is a valid artistic choice a valid question.#what if someone DIDNT get better. but full disclosure i could NOT finish this book i really felt i had to stop for my own safety .#as if people don't not get better all the time u know??? and as that one reviewer said . WHO in the world of this book#WOULDNT become a crystal meth addict. etc. there's no legit way out and that's a total authorial construction.#anyway i do actually think she's a skilled writer but i did not feel the compulsion to finish this book that so many ppl have felt#built different i guess. just walk out!#if you're a normie who never read any absurdly ott h/c fanfiction i guess it hit different tho!#mangoamango#asks#i welcome furhter speculation.... i always thought it was possible it was some band i'd never heard of or some 90s manga i never read#I did manage to read her first book 'the people in the trees' and yes i would describe it as 'good'#but it's like . imagine an ursula le guin book but evil
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