#there is so much else wrong with this whole show

[vrtvyg]

Body headcannons, based off of the ACTUAL character.

Soap: BEEFY. Have you SEEN the man's biceps? his neck? the way his chest casts a shadow in that one blue shirt? he's beefy. Full believer that his thighs ate just as thick, meaty calves, and a matching waist. every body has a bit of curve, but honestly he probably is mostly rectangle, some muscle showing on his stomach. I feel like his body wouldn't be SUPER hairy. like yes he has chest hair, leg and arms, but it isn't super thick. it's shorter, darker. he'd probably keep his pubes messily trimmed. not letting it become a bush but not caring enough to make it look pretty.

Ghost: honestly think he's a bit thinner than Soap. sure they both got muscle mass, but side to side, Ghost has the height and Soap has the form. more muscle showing but not super thick, just a leaner build, maybe a bit of chub on the stomach, arms, but not much. has minimum hair, it just doesn't grow. head a almost buzzed, arms have hair but it's short and almost too thin to see. same with his legs. no chest hair, some peach fuzz below the belly and his pubes are equally short. (I'm kind of debating this, dude might be hella muscular under all them clothes)

Price: Listen, I fucking LOVE thick price as much as the next man, but have you seen that slutty waist??? Big chest, thin waist, and a fucking fatty. he's the whole hourglass, minus the hips. Covered in hair, it's thick too. on his chest, arms, legs, thighs. probably has to get his nostrils and ears waxed, hair grows there too. probably has the thickest hair down there in 141, keeps it neat, but not trimmed. the snail trail is THICK.

Gaz: the definition of lean, the perfect cut after bulking. the long legs, thick calves, thin but muscular. He probably has a decent amount of hair, but it's only on his chest and legs (no happy trail, sadly). the hair on his chest is just ever so slightly curly, and his pubes are probably trimmed but a bit messy, like soap.

Graves: Ita giving skinny white boy. like don't get me wrong, he's a sexy mf, but I can't see him with buldging abs. he's not super thick has the biceps, thighs, and definitely ass, but his stomach is pretty flat, and his chest is flatter. no tits to grab at. I imagine he's pretty bare on the hair, and the hair he DOES have is too light to really notice. except his armpits, no idea why but they're so much thicker there than anywhere else. his pubes probably match his hair, a dirty blonde. probably shaves practically bald down there, regrets it everytime until it starts to flow again.

König: THICK. muscular, of course, but the softest layer of pudge wrapped around it. has that squishy tummy, love handles, and the HIP DIPS! the thickest thighs following, weapon harnesses squeezing around it so satisfyingly. and he's definitely a hairy man, but not in a soft bear way like price, more like a rough texture. chest hair, arm hair, thigh hair, leg hair, even hair on his toes. the snail trail is gorgeous. he doesn't really care to shave his pubes. a bit messy down there. the only time he trims is to make his dick look bigger before sending a pic.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I'm not in the ofmd fandom but I am intrigued by the drama. spill the tea?

OH GOD OKAY

Where do I begin lksdlgkfds

Okay so

There’s this nasty little gremlin-man in ofmd called Izzy Hands. He’s a sour, mean, skrunkly, disabled little cunt who is a firm believer in Respect and Discipline (in a very queer subby way).

This is to say: he is. Explicitly. Queer. He does drag on the show, and has a whole coming-out scene. He is a kinky masochist. He confesses his love for another man, and basically ruins his own life & everyone else's, because he is sooooo pathetically jealous about this man (his captain!) falling for some milquetoast loser white rich guy, when Izzy, a badass leather-wearing working-class sword-swinging swashbuckler, is right there making puppy-eyes at him.

He's wrong! He's horrid! He's a bastard, pickled in piss and vinegar! He's five-foot-nothing of spite and gay self-loathing! He's very fun to watch, and very, very queer.

People still insist that he’s straight. And racist. Despite there being 0 textural evidence to support this, and the creators of the show repeatedly saying that this is absolutely not what they wrote.

Why do people hate him so much? Simple! Because he ‘got in the way’ of the main ship.

Yup. It’s basically ‘bash the girl who gets in the way of our m/m otp’ only the girl is a grizzled 50-something year old pirate.

The main ship, btw, is between Ed Teach, an awesome complex flawed hopeful beautiful character of colour; and Stede Bonnet, another awesome complex flawed character. Who is a white guy. And who happens to be a rich plantation owner from the 1700s. Based on A LITERAL SLAVE OWNER. Who is explicitly shown to be a Problematic White Guy with fucked-up racist views.

Like. He’s not a perfect guy. The show makes this very, very clear - to the point where Stede pushes Ed into sex super-fast immediately after Ed says he wants to go slow, and this makes Ed run away and freak out.

But somehow, Certain Fans still insist that Izzy is to blame because :checks notes: he makes one cheeky, friendly joke about them finally getting together that is clearly given & received in good spirits.

Yeah.

There's a lot of this cognitive dissonance going on. And it's very, very wilful.

Basically: a certain subset of people who ship Ed and Stede refuse to exercise the slightest bit of critical thought of Stede’s views and actions (which are a representation of the white landed gentry!) but insist on maliciously twisting literally everything Izzy says or does to cast him as The Ultimate Villain. Whereas anyone watching the show can tell that he starts off as an antagonist-with-a-deeply-hidden-heart-of-gold, whose entire arc is about growth and redemption.

I think 99% of this is projection. Stede and Ed are not perfect by any means, but these people are so dead-set on shipping a Cute Fluffy Romance (when that. Really isn’t what the show gave us) that they have to create a villain out of Izzy and blame all of Stede and Ed’s fucked-up choices and actions on him, in the most contrived ways. Which has the added bonus of them deciding that Izzy, a white guy, is somehow responsible for literally ALL of Ed’s genuinely awful, abusive, and interesting choices in S2, where he went on his villain arc. Even though Izzy was the main victim of this villain arc. Rather than, y’know, giving Ed the agency to make his own damn decisions and acknowledging that he is a flawed and fascinating character who Hurts People but still deserves a happy ending, like literally every other main character on ofmd. Nope. Gotta infantalise that man of colour and pretend he has no control over his own life and his morality is goverened by the white men around him!

Then, they get to portray Stede as his white saviourTM who swoops in and saves Ed from ‘his own darkness’ with the power of love. 😊 because that’s not Problematique in the slightest 😊

It’s… fucked up, to put it plainly. But honestly, as much as there is a problem with their dogged insistence that Izzy is the root of all iniquity on the show, and that Ed and Stede are pure perfect angels who never did any wrong... what was worse was the relentless harassment enacted by that side of the fandom against anyone who dared show a liking for Izzy’s character. Like, it’s not the worst fandom out there by any means, but it really did make the fandom feel hostile to anyone who didn’t ship the main ship.

SO - yeah. That's the tea! OFMD was a fun show with lots of cool flawed characters. But the fandom was a cesspit, fuelled mostly by a Certain Group Of Fans' desperation to make their ship Perfect and Morally Pure - which resulted in them throwing an interesting, well-rounded, morally grey queer disabled character under the bus, and harrassing anyone who enjoyed him.

[flower-boi16]

Apology Tour Made Blitz Do The Right Thing for The Wrong Reason

There's a common critique of Apology Tour I've seen regarding Verosika is that the fact that she went out of her way to create an entire annual party dedicated to shitting on her past ex makes her look overly obsessive. While at first glance I can see where this argument is coming from I'd like to disagree.

Blitzo has been frequently established as a fairly destructive person who thanks to his own self-hatred ends up hurting others and pushing them away, the fact that there's this many people in the party shows how destructive of a person Blitzo is, and we see that it's not just limited to his exes, but people in general who he hurt (like Dennis, for instance).

And Verosika is one of Blitz's later victims who Blitz bailed on after she told him she loved him, a very vulnerable moment for someone to be in, and that's the point where Blitz broke her heart. And so she created this party both out of spite for Blitz seeing how much of a horrible person he is and out of sympathy for his many victims who were just as heartbroken by him as she was. She created this party so she could help the people Blitz has hurt cope with what happened and heal from it, creating a sense of community amongst victims.

Apology Tour shows how much Blitzo damages people, how his self-destructive tendencies always end badly for both him AND his victim, leaving his victim broken and making him more broken, the fact there's a whole party made for the sole purpose of helping his victims cope shows that. And Blitz is forced to see how damaging of a person he truly is because of this...or at least, that's the route the episode should have taken.

Apology Tour is an episode with an absolutely fantastic set up with Blitz going to a party where he sees how many people he's damaged and chooses to start becoming a better person, but the problem is HOW the show gets him to see that. The show gets him to start to change himself...through Stolitz.

Blitzo realizes how he hurts others through seeing how he hurt Stolas, who Blitz previously just believed was some classist dick and nothing else only for Stolas to pour his heart out in a musical number, making Blitz realize that Stolas' feelings were genuine all this time and what he was saying to Stolas did, in fact, hurt him...

...at least that's how the writers want you to look at this scene. However, thanks to the general problems with Stolitz writing this development ends up falling flat on its face. The reason for why this development fails despite the perfect set up is because the show is holding Blitz accountable for something he isn't even in the wrong for in the first place. I've ranted about Stolitz many times before but I'll just repeat the same points because it's relevant for my argument here; Blitzo had no reason to ever think that Stolas' love for him was genuine.

Throughout the whole first season, Stolas consistently looked down upon and belittled Blitz, calling him demeaning pet names and always invading his boundaries even when Blitz says no, yet Stolas continues it anyway. YET, the show tries to paint Blitz as biased here because "oh he only hates Stolas for being a royal and is repressing his feelings for Stolas due to self-hatred" or some bullshit.

However, once you factor in the outside context, Blitz never comes across as biased here whenever he rants about Stolas, because he doesn't have a reason to believe Stolas has any genuine affection for him beyond some small, off-screen "nice things" he did for him, and even then, you can still look down upon someone while caring for them. The show wants to present Blitz as in the wrong here for "hurting Stolas' feelings" and being consumed in his bias, but that doesn't work because Blitz had no reason to believe that Stolas didn't look down on him when he literally did.

But despite Blitz not being in the wrong in the situation, he's portrayed as the abuser here and he's the one who apologizes to his abuser, and HE says that Stolas "deserves better than HIM", making Stolas out as the victim here in this situation when the context and framing say otherwise.

Speaking of Stolas, many people have torn him apart this episode already so I won't go that in-depth here, however, it's still relevant to my point. The episode portrays Stolas as sympathetic here when he isn't - in fact, Stolas comes across as extremely unsympathetic in this episode due to claiming that he "never looked down" upon Blitz despite doing that throughout all of season 1.

He THEN gets angry at Blitz for not saving him when Striker captured him even though 1. Blitz was busy and 2. HE LITERALLY SENT HIS CO-WORKERS TO SAVE YOU WHY TF ARE YOU MAD???

Stolas doesn't have a legitimate reason to be angry at Blitz due to the outside context - instead, all of his interactions with Blitzo in this episode come across as him playing the victim and gaslighting him. And All 2 U is the pure culmination of this. A song that is supposed to be the moment where Blitz realizes his mistakes instead comes across as Blitz being repeatedly gaslighted and guilt-tripped into apologizing to his abuser.

HE is treated as the problem, HE is treated as the one who is meant to apologize to Stolas, even though he is NOT IN THE WRONG FOR THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yet, the show ignores past interactions for this to work. It doesn't address anything Stolas did beyond just making the deal - it acts as if that was the only bad thing he ever did even when Stolas did more than just that to Blitz.

Yet, that's never called out by anyone. Stolas doesn't have a good or sympathetic reason to be mad at Blitz - yet the show treats him as another one of Blitz's victims anyway. So, Blitz was essentially gaslit into becoming a better person, which isn't really great writing. Apology Tour had all the ingredients of a fantastic episode but it's severely held back by this specific aspect, Stolas drags the episode down so much and it sucks that the Stolas crap in the episode has to be tied to Blitz's development. Blitzo should have seen his mistakes through someone who actually had valid and sympathetic reasons to dislike him, someone who does actually come across as a person deeply hurt by Blitz's actions.

In other words....Verosika. Verosika should have been the character they used here, not Stolas. Verosika has an actually good reason to dislike Blitz and one the audience could actually sympathize for, SHE should have been the character to get Blitz to realize his mistakes and decide to change and grow as a person. Have All 2 U be sung by her instead of Stolas, with the song detailing how Blitz met and Blitz broke her heart.

Seriously, the concept of the begining scene and All 2 U can work, but they'll work better if you replace Stolas with Verosika in them instead, because Verosika has a good reason to dislike Blitz that could easily be expanded upon and developed, and Blitz would've had better reasoning to become a better person rather than being gaslit and guilt tripped into it. Apology Tour had all of the ingredients for a fantastic episode but the Stolass trash drags it down HARD.

[bubblegum-blackwood]

Lestat just has so much love and forgiveness in him it makes me ILL. He and Armand and Louis can hurt each other over and over and at the end of the day Lestat is willing to put it aside every time. He holds no resentment for Gabrielle for not being there for him, choosing simply to be grateful for the time they do spend together. He loved Claudia even as she tried to murder him, he did not wish her dead and mourned when she burned, he looks back on her with fondness and pride. He takes care of Rose when nobody wants her, and immediately accepts Viktor into his life and his heart. He made Mona into a vampire as a favour for Quinn, and chose not to make Rowan a vampire because he knew it would be better for them both, even if he really wanted to in the moment, he didn’t want her to hate him or to suffer. His father was an utter ass to him his whole life and he still chose to take him in, feed him and clothe him in his old age, make sure he was comfortable, and he couldn’t bear to kill him even after all the man had done to him. Magnus tore him from his happy mortal life, frightened him, hurt him, made him a vampire, and abandoned him, and still when the guy comes back as a ghost Lestat is so ready to welcome him back with open arms. He chooses to let Rhoshamandes live even when everyone else around him is afraid of the threat he poses to them, and is appalled that they would suggest he devolve into such cruelty as to order the man’s death. People wrong him time and time again and he just shrugs it off, and he shows kindness and affection to almost everyone he meets. He is such a guy.

[anipologist]

Wait Halbrand was Sauron? I would have never guessed...man was the least suspicious character in the entire show. Nothing at all about him screamed "I am a violent dark lord who likes metalsmithing."

Like...I'm flabbergasted. The person who was very obviously Sauron from the beginning of the show was....gasp Sauron. And the person who was very obviously Gandalf from the beginning of the show was....gasp Gandalf!

Such convincing plot twists…

I mean once the weird sisters turned up and told me Gandalf was Sauron all thoughts fled my mind and I found myself agreeing. Of course the stranger hanging out in grey rags with hobbits was Sauron. Obviously the show runners had given up hope that my puny mind could comprehend the depths of their convoluted and circumlocutory genius and felt I needed to be ordered to believe that Gandalf was Sauron.

But they tricks us precious! Who could have seen it coming? After telling us that the stranger is Sauron he is not….he is Good? What a twist! I couldn’t have seen that coming if I had a telescope.

And who could have foreseen all the years of working together and cultivating trust and working with Celebrimbor in ring making could all be summed up by a suggestion to use alloys. Who could have thought of such a blatantly obviously solution. Definitely not the grandson of the greatest elven smith to ever live…WHAT A GIFT.

(Currently ignoring the rest of the mithril storyline for my remaining sanity's sake).

Completely unrelated thought…mentioning something about alloys definitely deserves a whole epessë,…maybe we should call this generous character the Lord of Gifts…

Ok, yes I am being sarcastic and snarky but I am just so disgusted. I have had a lot of problems with this show. I didn’t trust Amazon once the first couple episodes started coming out. Apparently I still held onto an entirely undeserved sliver of hope. But for heavens sake this is a caricature of a parody of Tolkien. An entire season of a show literally titled THE RINGS OF POWER and the rings of power turn up for a tiny portion of the final episode.

Another thing....having actors not know who they are actually playing once they start filming is one of the stupidest things the movie/tv industry is currently obsessed with. It makes zero sense from a directorial and acting standpoint and has no payoff except for idiotic headlines like "Sauron actor didn't know he was Sauron". That's so grossly insulting to the actor and the audience.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[rythyme]

really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."

[palkea]

quick tfp optimus

[crownedwille]

.

[thanatos-zagreus-shagreus]

Okay so Kaos in short:

A genuinely good show on its own, but I hate quite a lot of what they've done with the myths. Retellings are adaptations, and that means that stories change! They're supposed to! But this feels like the writers read just enough of greek mythology to get some characters and then just... stopped reading. (For instance the whole Hera's tacitas with the tongues thing was kinda unnecessary? Came out of nowhere and didn't really feel like it fit logically.)

I was annoyed the whole way through about things in the mythology that just irked me. Good example is Poseidon being "Zeus' younger brother". Why the fuck would you make Poseidon his younger brother? Zeus is generally considered the youngest? If you wish to change things from the source material because you want to show something in the story or plot, sure! Go ahead! But this just felt like there was absolutely no reason at all to make Poseidon younger than him?? Truly the only reason I can imagine is that someone went "Hmmm but Zeus is king so surely he must be the oldest! So Poseidon is his younger brother!" And I hate it. Kaos is littered with changes for no reason like this.

However I've finished the show and I do have to admit that on its own it's genuinely very good, and I do really like some of the characters a lot. The actors are amazing, especially for Hera, the Fates, and Ari. I love this character Hera so much, but also cannot fathom why you would make her this and still call her Hera, because the goddess of marriage and family she is not.

Addition: I genuinely think the last episode could have been made in such a way that it already showed the full fall of the family, and ended the story. I wholeheartedly believe that this show would have been better if it actually got a proper ending after its first season. This open-endedness does allow for a second season, and in this case, that's a bad thing. It should've ended properly.

Oops, not as short as I intended

[jorrated]

I'm so tired of sonamy being ship teased in stuff

[brittlebutch]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

[bunnihearted]

i've also realized that there is no therapy that can fix what's broken inside of me

[6ebe]

does anybody remember when I accurately predicted how game of thrones tv show would end bc I had a basic understanding of how the Tudor dynasty ended. lol.

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

.

[pepprs]

feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair