#there is no reason she should react that way
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merry christmas, please donât call
merry christmas!!!!
azzi x paige
1.14k words
please live react
if youâre sad about the angst blame @lupinqs and @imaginespazzi
â
âfuck this,â paige groans, flinging herself down onto the couch and bringing her hands to her face. sheâd been sitting, rigid, staring at the gifts with her name under the tree, wondering if she should return them or save them. some of them, sheâd bought three months ago, so soon she could probably still bring them back and get a refund. she flips her phone over, checking to see if one of the girls had messaged her, inviting her over to do something. it was christmas eve, after all. no messages, not even one that she definitely wasnât looking for.Â
âŚ
azziâs laugh rings through her familyâs living room, but if someone would have looked at her, they would have seen that it barely brushed her smile, didnât even touch her eyes. there werenât even any presents for paige under the tree, she noted. her mom had definitely bought something, they love loved her too much to not have thought of her before it happened. would they get them to paige still, somehow? what would azzi do with the hoodie, the shoes, the necklace she bought her?
who was she kidding, sheâd sleep with them tonight, clutching them tight in her arms while wearing something else that still smelled like her, in the sheets they used to share.
âŚ
paige knocks back another glass of something. definitely not very festive, she knows that much. sadly, itâs the only way she sees fit to rinse the images of her in matching christmas pajamas, baking cookies, under the coversâŚ
stop, paige tells herself, because this is pathetic. begging on your damn knees because your girl(sorry, ex girl) was in a mood about an injury and told you to go fuck yourself, so you told her to go right on out of your bed. And you havenât spoken to her since, unless itâs about basketball. Because itâs always about basketball
âŚ
azzi gets nice and settled with her family, tucked in tight together on the couch to watch the Grinch, this yearâs choice holiday movie. and itâs fine, azzi can sit there and try to forget, until a seemingly innocent little scene comes on. one who rushes up behind her husband, catching a quick goodbye kiss. that sends her over the edge, because she didnât get a goodbye kiss. she should be cuddled here with her family and paige, and giggle when paige pecks her on the lips right along with the movie
she stands up abruptly, shaking her head and running into her room. she flings herself onto her bed, burying her face in paigeâs hoodie, still laying there.Â
when katie fudd walks into the room, sitting on her daughterâs bed and lightly rubbing her back, sheâs thinking of paige, too. she knows thatâs who azzi needs in times like this, even when paige is the reason azzi gets like this. the only way to fix her issue with paige, sadly, is with paige.
âyou should call her, sweetieâ
azzi sits up, shaking her head as her tear stained face crumples again. âno, you donât get it. she begged me not to call her. told me that if i called her, she knew weâd be right back to where we were, with the same issues.â a sob comes out at the end, because really, all azzi wants to do is call paige, beg her to hop on a flight and make it here by morning, then never let her leave her arms again.
âwhereâs my phone,â she sighs, teary eyes set in a determined stare.
âŚ
paige startles awake, her phone buzzing under her pillow. the contact lit on her screen is the only one she didnât want to see, couldnât see. for some insane, unexplained reason, she slides to answer the call.
she hears a snuffle on the other end, then a voice croaking out, âpaigeyâ
her resolve softens, just the way she knew it would.
âbaby, is everything okay? did something happen?â she asks, even though she knows what azzi will tell her. this is what happens every time they fight, and one of them has to leave a few days after. except this time, itâs christmas.Â
âno, nothing is okay,â azzi whimpers into the phone. miles away, sheâs clutching the phone like a lifeline, waving her mother out of the bedroom. âi need you, please, i need anything. i need to listen to you call me baby, and hold me in your arms.â
paige tries, she really does, to say no, to be firm, to say that they can talk about it when she comes back to school, but she really needs to take some of her own time right now. but something about the way azziâs voice cracked when she said need had paige looking up quick flights.Â
she found nothing.
âpaige?â azzi breathes, the line having gone silent.Â
âiâm so sorry, az. thereâs no flights. not one damn plane can take me to you.â
she swears she can hear azziâs face drop, and then she really does hear the shaking, gulping sobs that break through the speakers.Â
âno, sweetheart, please donât cry. ill drive, iâll be there tomorrow when you wake up, i swear up and down, baby, please donât cry youâre breaking my heart,â paige grovels. she really doesnât know how to refuse azzi, and when sheâs crying, she doesnât even think itâs possible.Â
âpaigey, please, please, please,â azzi whispers, saying please like itâs a mantra, like itâs keeping her warm.
âyeah, baby, iâve got you, just try and sleep. iâll be there as quick as i can.
paige rushes around her room, mumbling affirmations to azzi as she collects things in a duffel, then locks her door and walks to her car. she hears azziâs deep, stuttering breath that tells her sheâs cried herself right to sleep.Â
âŚ
the bed dips, making azzi snuffle and crack her eyes open. she glimpses a tired, tear-stained paige running her hand over her face. she then feels strong arms wrap around her, welcoming the protective feeling of someone near her as she falls back asleep.
âŚ
paige holds azzi tightly, but her own eyes stay wide open. she cried silently nearly the entirety of her drive down here, thinking about how in a month or two, this fight will be back again, and theyâll do the same thing. sometimes, paige is the one begging for azzi to come and hold her. sometimes its azzi. same problem, because theyâre connected, no matter how wrong it may seem, no matter how much they hurt each other, theyâll always be essential, the way you have to feel pain to gain something, and the way you have to boil noodles to soften them.
âŚ
paigeâs eyes flicker open, tasting azziâs lips against her own.
âmerry christmas, paigeâ
âi love you, azziâ
~ hope you enjoyed!
have a happy holiday!
#mutualsđ#paige bueckers#i love you sisterwifey forever <3#remus lupin reference#azzi fudd#uconn wbb#paige bueckers x azzi fudd#pazzi#anonsđ#merry christmas please donât call
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I'm busy thinking about the fact that we can see how a lot of the conflict between Stolas and Octavia has roots in the unhealthy family dynamics brought on in Stolas' childhood.
Mainly inspired from a quote I heard from someone reacting to the episode, that being something along the lines of "Fucked up parents create fucked up children.", and tbh, I can kinda see that with Stolas and Octavia.
Also, let's get one other thing out of the way as well, the family dynamic Stolas and Octavia had before Blitz came into his life was never healthy at all.
The line 'You have always been the only good thing in my life!' hits really hard for a few reasons, with one of them being because it shows that before Blitz came into his life, Octavia was practically Stolas' whole life. Which naturally is not healthy for either of them, while your child is a very significant and important part of your life, they should still not be literally your entire life.
And well, Stolas being like that makes sense, you can see roots of that within Stolas' isolated childhood and upbringing, the only person Stolas had as a friend was Blitz when he was a child, and even then, they didn't see each other again for the next 25 years, leaving Stolas with basically no one else, no other friends to talk to, etc.
And you can see that manifest itself into the family dynamics between Stolas and Octavia, because Stolas has no social life at all outside of the family, and his family, which as a result, leads to Octavia being practically Stolas' whole world, as shown by that line he said.
The line is also quite interesting as well, because in one side, we have Octavia being practically Stolas' whole world, but I also believe the vice versa of that line is true as well.
Which I suppose is the segway into the section of what happens when an imp comes along and absolutely shatters that unhealthy family dynamic.
Something the show has made clear is that a lot of Octavia's life has also revolved around Stolas, which makes sense, but the issue here is that I'm pretty sure that almost all of Octavia's life revolved around Stolas or the family in some way, as I'm pretty sure that this also leads us to a conclusion that Octavia has no support system at all, no actual friends, etc. Which is something that we recognize is quite similar to Stolas, as he also had no support system, no friends, etc, until he met Blitz at that fateful party.
Especially if we consider the fact that Stella is both a neglectful and abusive parent, so it's not like Octavia had the support of both parents here, Octavia only had the support and attention of Stolas her entire upbringing and childhood.
You all remember the "so that girl could live a normal life" comment Stolas made in s2 e1? I believe that this family dynamic is exactly what Stolas was referring to when he said that, Stolas also believed that the family dynamic at play was a normal and healthy thing for the child, when it was anything but.
Which brings us into the events after Blitz came into Stolas' life, when that the family dynamics Stolas was referring to with that 'normal life' comment were completely shattered.
The family dynamics bring up something interesting to me about Octavia, I feel like her upbringing and childhood is also part of the reason as to why she feels like Stolas has abandoned and replaced her with Blitz, why she struggles to understand the fact that Stolas can care for and love Blitz a lot, while also caring for and loving her a lot as well.
Obviously there's more to the situation to it than just this, there's other things like Stolas failing to properly explain the situation and other things that Octavia really should've known, to give an example. But at the same time, I still can't help but think that all of this has roots in the unhealthy family dynamics between them that got shattered when Blitz entered Stolas' life.
And well, it was Octavia's lack of knowledge about the situation that led to her coming to the conclusions she did, such as the conclusions she came to when she found the happy pills, for example.
Octavia's song also makes something else clear, that she used to think that him and Stella had a happy marriage until Blitz arrived in his life, and we know that the reason Octavia used to think that is because of Stolas hiding the abuse he suffered to give Octavia a 'normal life', which as I've stated before, this 'normal life' also included the unhealthy family dynamics between them, the same one where Stolas' entire life revolved around Octavia and the family, and vice versa for Octavia.
Which is the main reason why I believe that the unhealthy family dynamics is a part of the reason of why Octavia said and did what she did this episode, because Blitz actually started the transition into healthier family dynamics, with those being Stolas finally getting the courage to get the divorce, and Stolas having someone in his life outside of the family, no longer having Octavia and Stolas' family quite literally be all that there is to his life.
But here's the thing, because of Octavia's unintentionally lonely upbringing with the unhealthy family dynamics she doesn't know the full situation of, I don't think she recognizes that it is not healthy for the parent or the child for their entire world to be centered around their child plus the family, and vice versa. Plus for the same reasons and a bit more, I don't think she properly recognizes that Stolas can love and care for both Blitz and Octavia a lot at the same time.
As I have stated before, we point to multiple other reasons as to why Octavia behaved, said and believes in what she did, such as her feeling abandoned and replaced by Blitz, and I definitely agree with you all on that Stolas is nowhere near entirely innocent in this whole situation for multiple reasons, but at the same time, I still believe that at least part of this reason why has something to do with Octavia's upbringing, and the unhealthy family dynamics associated with said upbringing, which has roots in Stolas' extremely isolated and lonely upbringing.
Just to be clear, I am not blaming Octavia for anything here, and I am also not hating on Stolas for choosing to be happy with Blitz as well, while I have stated multiple times that Stolas did indeed fuck-up on multiple occasions, I am still not choosing a side here regarding the whole situation. I will not accept any Stolas or Octavia slander, as I have stated multiple times by now.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#stolas#helluva boss stolas#stolitz#octavia goetia#helluva boss analysis
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Hello, I just recently found your stuff, but I love it soooo much. I always look forward to reading your stuff on my breaks at work.
This is my first ask, so I'm so sorry if I have done it wrong. But how would the warlords react to a reader who instead of rejecting their affection because of the normal reasons, she rejects them because she genuinely thinks they deserve someone better and more fitting to be their queen and you know, not a human, because she thinks very little of herself because she came from a bad home with like a mean dad who was verbally and mentally abusive with the prompts 9 and 17.
- a bookworm with taste
P.s. I love the cursed warlords au it's so fun to read :)
The way you asked this is perfectly fine! However, since it includes prompts from the list, I actually categorize this as a request. Not a problem at all, I like requests! So the Request would be Prompt 9 and 17 for Cursed Warlords AU! I love the extra tidbits with this! And since this au already has a specific dynamic I keep it as that dynamic! Even if not prompted that way~ You did NOT specify which prompt we were talking about. Because there are Dialogue prompts and word prompts. Iâm going to go with the dialogue prompts because thatâs what I THINK youâre talking about⌠But next time if you request something please specify, I donât want to do the wrong thing. Regardless THANK YOU for the request! Dialogue Prompt 9. âA peach for our sweet flame.â
Dialogue Prompt 17. âYouâre here because I want you to be.â
Three weeks, itâs been three weeks since youâve been trapped on the island with Wukong and Macaque. Youâve rejected them so many times⌠why donât they understand? Why donât they understand that nothing good will come of them keeping you here? You are a mere human woman, nothing like the others that they could have. They could have anyone they wanted, so why were they keeping YOU here?
You sighed as you sat silently at a small table in the garden. Your favorite flowers were blooming at your feet, when were they moved into the Kingsâ personal garden? You could have sworn that youâve never seen them here before.
âMy Queen, there you are~ You had me worried you tried to âescapeâ again~â Wukongâs voice practically sang through the air.
You turned your head to look at him but didnât say anything. He looked so happy to see you, his face clearly beaming as he happily skipped over to you. His tail wagging as he took a seat in front of you. He leaned forward in his seat holding his cheek with his hand while his elbow rested on the table.
ââŚâ You werenât sure what to say.
You felt a warmth radiate behind you and a peach was held out to you as Macaque wrapped his arm around you, holding the peach in his hand. You stared at it in shock, your eyes widening in shock.
âA peach for our sweet flame~â He grinned happily catching you off guard.
âI-I donât need it,â You muttered quietly, why should they give you such things? They didnât need to personally bring you food.
You couldnât stop looking at the table in shame. You didnât belong here, there was no way that they actually cared about you. You wanted to leave, you didnât deserve any of this. You couldnât stop downgrading yourself no matter how much you tried to stop.
âWhyâs that?â Wukong asked, his smile turning into a slight frown at your rejection.
âYou can have it, but- I donât deserve it,â You muttered quietly and almost immediately there were two warlords slamming their hands to the table. Macaque almost crushed the peach in his anger but barely managed not to.
âWhat the hell are you talking about!?â Wukong yelled angrily at the mere mention of you not being good enough.
âThere is no reason for you to think of something so stupid! You are more than worth it darling,â Macaque added quickly, pulling you close to him as he nuzzled against your face.
âNo- I donât. There is no reason for you two to keep me here, truly,â You responded slowly, as you looked down again.
You were forced to look up again when Wukong gripped your chin and gently pulled it up so you were looking straight at him. âYou are here, because I want you to be. We want you to be. We love you for you, and you more than deserve it,â Wukong replied calmly looking at you with a stern gaze.
Your eyes widened in shock at his words. He didnât mean that did he? There was no way that he actually meant that- However the longer you stared into his eyes, the more you came to realize that yes, yes he did mean it. You turned to look at Macaque for a different answer, but he too held the same resolve in his gaze.
They both loved you and wanted you to stay. All you had to do was eat the peach that they offered you~ Not that you knew it would bind you to them eternally~
#dead dove do not eat#sun wukong x macaque#yandere sun wukong#yandere macaque#sun wukong x reader#macaque x reader#shadowpeach x reader#Request#cursed warlords au#cursed warlords lmk au#Yandere content#writing prompts#slight angst#angst
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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OC !
#my characters#i missed her so much wowee#her name is katale and thats what she goes by EXCEPT her best friend (and ex boyfriend and boss) who gets to call her kitty#hes just like the all around best guy in her life and she loves him a whole lot#and even though they broke up they have a very loving friendship and shes like#oh i would absolutely kill for him and in fact i am VERY good at killing im honing my skills :3#and her family is actually just a bunch of criminals and the only reason the other guy gets involved#is bc he needs fast money to help his mom with hospital bills and so hes like hey my mom doesnt need to know how shes alive#and then he somehow becomes head honcho and is a rumored to be ruthless man#but hes just incredibly level headed and able to think his way up (and kills a few unpleasant family members for kitty)#and if shes running out and about you can even hear him say shit like#my wife left me i miss my wife#and everyone knows he means katale but no one knows how to react bc its clearly a joke (???) since they broke up#but no one is telling their boss to elaborate the wife situation#kitty however is the entire reason that she gets this lil puppy of an agent to not kill rudyard her dear boss#and somehow they adopt this grown man and also his really weird mentor who faked their death#but they love their puppy son boy agent man#and kitty is super happy to dote on the agent but even she has her lines like WHY DID YOU JUST HAND HIM A GUN#RUDYARD HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE LAST MONTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING#and rudyard is just ??? can i NOT shove a gun into his hands now? what is that? a crime? really? gonna tell on me? a criminal? for crimes?#but genuinely it stresses her out bc she loves her adopted son but loves her best friend and eventually she realizes#ok puppy agent man is loyal to them but not a criminal thats ok#while rudyard is like ... passing him guns to try out as a bonding thing#but also he is fascinated with how good the agents aim is like hey kitty you should watch how far he can shoot perfectly#hey kitty remember all those dead underlings and how precise their kills were to make them not suffer this guy is really good#also for what its worth ruds mom is still alive! shes just in a nursing home now and he goes to visit her#kitty and rudyard have such a fun dynamic to me and both are murderers but its okay (its not)#also kitty likes anime and she has forced rud to watch anime with her and he just accepts his fate#bc it makes kitty happy to share so he will watch to make her happy even if he doesnt understand all the appeal
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Ash: *half jokingly says something abt commiting arson*
Sara: i am going to kill him, hes *actually* going to be a ghost this time
*fast forward several months and shenanigans later*
Roy *driving a modified scooter down the street*hey bestieeeee wanna go set fireworks on the neighbours who hate homeless people?
Sara: omg yea!!!!
*rides off into the sunset*
Ash *somehow there* : ??????? so do you just hate me SPECIFICALLY?????
#context:#for completely different reasons ; some shady organization hires both of them; mostly for recon stuff and puts them in the same area#both are aware they didnt have a choice and predisposed to hate everyone else in the organization; so while Ash reacts to this#with carefully calculated acts of rebellion; Sara just sorta wants to get everything over with#as warm as she is; she defaults to ´no nonsense´ in this situation#should be noted also that Ash was half putting up a persona#so their attitudes for coping end up clashing constantly; more stuff happens and they part ways#they meet later after a hefty amount of plot and character development and end up being sorta petty but overall chill w each other#it should be noted they only got paired up bc of the concept of ´parallels´... which is an entire thing in my worldbuilding#but theyre kinda tough to assign opposites as theyre both considered anomalies *shrug*#oc talk#oc: ashton#oc: sara#north mount#west coast
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i think cis people should no longer be allowed to make commentary youtube videos about Lilly Tino
#like YES i agree that the kurt cobain thing is fucked up and that she shouldn't be telling managers about accidental misgendering#but today i saw someone reacting to her say:#her trying to teach young kids (4-5) about transgender people is inappropriate because they dont need to know about that and because they sh#ouldnt need to worry about misgendering other kids#(she also said this about pronouns when lilly talked about pronouns in a 'teaching kids' way)#that it's creepy to refer to your genitalia as food (she was on tiktok and she couldve like gotten banned or something if she had been sayi#ng vagina)#that she shouldn't talk about her bottom surgery in public#that her making a video about thinking GWEN STACY is trans is weird#like the kurt cobain one definitely is but?? this was just a woman saying 'hey this character is probably trans :)'#she said that spiderman is a kid's thing so people dont need to be projecting onto characters#and she also said that lilly is part of the reason people are queerphobic (the creator is also queer btw) which is just.. not true#people have been doing this for years before lilly babes!!!!#anyway. just my two cents. either react to without being transohobic or dokt react at all#note: i am not endoring lilly or anything i just think that maybe people criticising her should be. trans people.
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When yâall act like reading comprehension on tumblr is the worst I can tell youâve never read tiktok comments
A video can be like âof course itâs okay to collect anime figures of minors but I dislike the way this character was portrayed as sexual in the show so I no longer like this figureâ and the comments are filled with people arguing with the statement âitâs not okay to make anime figures of minorsâ which was never even remotely said
âI like Sonico because she has a more common body type that most anime figures do not haveâ turns into âI personally despise skinny people and think youâre freaksâ
âThis video that said there are no excuses not to do x is incorrect because there are a lot of reasons to be unable to do xâ, comments filled with people arguing the original post never said there were no excuses (or somehow magically imbued the sentence with âdoesnât apply to disabled peopleâ) when the literal words they used were âthere are no excusesâ
#imagine if I reacted to fatphobia the way skinny people react to somebody saying they think fat people are attractive#(sonico is not fat for reference sheâs just not as skinny as the majority of figures)#like itâs so absurd itâs barely a reasonable reaction to actual bigotry#sarcastically going âthanks I feel so great about my body after you said other bodies are also normal and okayâ#maybe we (fat ppl) should try this technique and see what happens#like I think asking for a substitution of beans in a recipe is normal behavior yet thatâs the example you choose when these kinds of#comments are everywhere on tiktok#person who wants to make bean based recipe but doesnât like beans doesnât even have 1/100th the main character syndrome of skinny people#when a post isnât about them or neurotypicals when somebody advices them not to purposefully terrify mentally ill people in public#or that lady who thinks malls arenât public spaces so developmentally disabled people shouldnât be allowed to go to them
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@lordofthestrix liked for a Christmas starter!
Picture perfect white snow surrounded them and acted as the perfect contrast to the bright red bows and the emerald green boughs that adorned the drafty old castle. Really, Aurora had considered trying to use the evergreens to block some of the doors from letting the draft in, but they were hardly effective. Still, the furs that Aurora wrapped around herself did very much fit the aesthetic of the holiday; however they didn't much go with her party dress. "Next year, I think we should spend Christmas in Australia. I fear that I might need a year off to completely thaw from this place." Aurora commented, though it was clear that the cold had not had much of an adverse impact on her mood from the way that she turned and smiled at her brother as he joined her.
#...that was a fast like on that post#N E way#decided to torture tristan with aurora being cold#but don't worry she's not upset about it#but also you should continue reacting to the birthday things and turn any of them into threads that you like#that was one of the reasons that i made them posts instead of asks#lordofthestrix
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More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)
#anyway i continue to Lavellan post because i did some stuff and I'm tired now anyway. thinking about the beginning of the game and#how he's mostly leaning into the herald bullshit because he thinks it'll help him belong here and make people like him and how#devastatingly it's going to hit him after in your heart shall burn (I'm basically leaning into it as much as#possible without establishing him as faithful since it's more difficult to make Leliana pope that way but in my head#he took every 'yeah I'm herald I'm heralding so much andraste right now' option besides one with cass and one with Leliana)#like. he doesn't even really believe it but most people either like hearing it or if they react negatively it's in a way that still#acknowledges him as in charge so he'll roll with that. but then. everything in YHTB happens and it's just like. Oh. Oh Shit. like#it was this mix of bullshitting for fun and saying what people wanted to hear and kind of believing that maybe he was chosen by#Something at least. and like. it's not like he didn't do anything on his own or at least without any special abilities but then#The classic seeing all that be swept aside. realizing how this is going to be remembered because it's already happening. maybe#he should have known that the second he was asked if there was room for more among his gods.#but then. what do you expect. his first memory is being discarded (that's not entirely what it was but that's how his child brain#precessed it) and practically going feral because of it and then. having So Much catching up to do when it came to. basically every#aspect of being a person#and like. he was accepted along with Rella but that still gets to you. especially since. sure he didn't fully understand what it means to#be pitied but he could still recognize that from others. could still want to prove he was Better Than That. could still want to shatter tha#sheet of glass between himself and seemingly everyone else (even Rella to be honest. if only because she almost left him behind too). how#would he not lean into being seen as something special. whether he fully believed the narrative others were spinning or not#i dunno i see a lot of people talking about their Lavellan pushing back against the narrative from the start but i kind of like the#idea of going along with it. thinking it won't get that far and surely he can correct it if it does. he's in charge after all. right? only#to get hit harder than an avalanche by the realization that he's not in control after all. he can direct as many forces as he wants#but he can't change how he'll be remembered. how he's already being remembered. and he contributed to it too? i dunno his specific#combination of pride and insecurity and need to just Belong. to just belong as himself. is. compelling#If anyone is reading this Ive seen posts about all Lavellans having the same personality but no one's elaborated? am i just doing that?#i actually want to know. you know. assuming anyone is reading this.#i dunno just thinking about his continuous need to prove himself for so many reasons (partially because of Rella too since#yeah Rella is a mage but not the first or anything. she's just there because people knew she had nowhere else to go). okay I'll shut up now#but yeah what is this Standard Lavellan Personality i keep hearing about?#original posts#but like. something something he's being discarded again but he understands it this time and he can't fight it and just
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insane that iâm the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child thatâs emotionally abusive is fine
#i??? do not understand my parents#like ok yes it is bad that my room smells of weed and is messy#but!#feels real fucking weird that my mum gets more upset with me about that than my sister being the literal devil incarnate#and not in a fun way#like dinner last night i literally did not say a single word bc me. just speaking. apparently triggers izzy and i think i literally just#acknowledged a joke being made and she started her whole. you need to leave. get out. youâre the problem. everyone hates you. shtick#and my mums response is can you just be nice to each other#???????????#GIRL I DIDNT DO A FUCKING THING#I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT AND THE CONFLICT APpArENtLy ONLY OCCURS WHEN IM PRESENT#(it doesnât. sheâs even worse to my mum but mum never. fucking does anything about it#which yeah i do get bc defending urself or literally just saying or reacting in anyway than what The Devil wants you to ends up a mess)#but maybe use two fucking braincells and realise iâm not the worst one here??#iâm actually gonna go insane#also itâs like. lowkey so funny that mums disappointed bc she thinks i havenât been smoking for months#which i have!! u just havenât fuckin realised it bestie!! so maybe the reason i am being depressed and useless rn is related to uhh the#fucking demon thatâs living in the house again???#not because weed is so evil and brain rotting??#also like i do completely get how silly of me it is to blame everything on my sister when i am aware that my mum hates me smoking weed and#i shouldnât get a free pass just because my sister is worse than me#but also.#i would like a free pass:(#basically! i should move out lol#but unfortuately i have spent all of my savings#canât wait to spend 12 hours in the car with all of them tomorrow!!#ah you know when u look back at the times you were gonna kill urself and wish you just fucking did#vent post
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Omg could we see reader getting jealous of Sukuna having sec with his other concubines? And maybe liek the other concubine rubs it in readers face?
âđđ đđđđ. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (no comfort), suggestive \\ smut aspects. size difference. one tiny mention of reader being a crybaby. reader gets called âlittle one, bratâ \\ kunaâs an asshole! not proofread, excuse the grammar. no part 2. wc: 3.3k
youâve been away from the estate for three days; three days too long for the king of curses. so much had happened while you were away to take some well deserved restâa small vacation that sukuna had granted you because you needed it.
perhaps that was his first mistake. giving you permission to leave his side ended up being a bad decision. he hates that faint feeling in his chest, the feeling of missing something.
missing someone.
it couldnât be. sukuna doesnât have any weaknesses, and yet he can feel his body reacting to that unfamiliar emotion again. all because of youâ that one human who always succeeds to occupy his mind.
he couldnât let himself succumb to itâheâs not going to. sukuna is not going to let a mere human like you deter him from his superior identity that heâs had for decennia. heâs not going to let you have that power over him and his body.
and thus, when you return to the estate, you find yourself being laughed at. you were unpacking your luggage when two concubines stand at your doorway, hiding their evil smiles behind their handheld fans.
they donât waste a single second and immediately rush to ruin your carefree mood.
âyou know, you shouldnât have returned at all,â the brunette giggles, her laugh sounding like nails scraping against a chalkboard. she looks to the other woman next to her before glancing back at you, âi meanâhehâlord sukuna definitely didnât seem to mind your absence.â
you figure itâs just another way to get you riled up, so you do your best to ignore them. you put your packed kimonos in your wardrobe as your back faces the two.
yumi, the second concubine, nods along. she knows what sheâs about to reveal will get on your nerves. and deserved, if you ask her. they had successfully caught the attention of their king while you were away. for the first time in a good while since your arrival in the estate.
the fact that they managed to spend quality time with sukuna again, is a wonderful first step to your downfall. one that will surely crumble your confidence as his so-called âfavoriteâ.
âmhm,â yumi grins as she recalls the memories of her time with sukuna. time spent together that you were unaware of, âlord sukuna definitely didnât seem to mind your absence when he had me in his bed last night.â
you freeze.
your brows furrow and the corners of your lips twitch. you donât know if you should believe themâthey couldâve lied about it for all you know. although, the voice in the back of your head had already rang the alarms.
guessing by the way they were dying to talk to you the second you came back - which never happens - you realise that theyâre probably telling the truth. theyâre only telling the truth to agitate you. itâs so painfully obvious, and yet so. . . hurtful.
âwhat?â
you donât recall when youâve choked up. you feel a lump in your throat. it shouldnât even be there. you promised yourself to not get attached to a monster like sukuna.
so what if he went to bed with his other concubines?
but of course heâll get pleasure from his other women when you arenât around. he doesnât feel any love, he sees it as worthless, so why did you expect him to not indulge himself? he still has his other concubines around for a reason.
you really shouldnât be surprised by this revelation.
âwhat do you mean âwhat?â - you heard me,â yumi shrugs, that cocky smirk still on her face. sheâs clearly enjoying your reaction to everything sheâs revealing. all the two concubines wanted to get out of this encounter with you, is to break that delusion of yours.
the delusional thought that youâre special to the king of cursesâthe delusion that sukuna considers you as something more than a toy to emotionally manipulate and play with until heâs tired of you.
âmy lord spent all night with me in his chambers until the sun rose,â yumi continues without an ounce of shame. she bites her lip as she remembers the way sukuna had her body positioned on his large bed. for her, it was a dream come true.
though for you, itâs a living nightmare. even if you try to deny the fact that it physically and mentally hurts. thereâs a painful twist at your heartâreminding you of the truth.
the truth being that you had truly thought that sukuna wasnât really a monster of a man. you thought he was a different, more softer person around you.
you shouldâve listened to the servants when they told you to not get tricked by sukunaâs special treatment, that he could easily manipulate you and make you do and act as he pleases.
âdo you want me to explain it in detail?â yumi crosses her arms over her chest as she looks down at you with a menacing glare. both of the concubines are loving that face youâre making. that face of defeat that youâre attempting to hide from them, âhow he held me and pleasured me until iââ
âenough,â you cut them off with your hands clenched into fists. you donât want to hear another word. youâre already feeling awful; already, not even an hour into your return. you can never catch a break.
you have an urge to throw things around. you already feel stupid, and if you decide to throw a fit, you bet that youâd feel even dumber. you truly do not know why youâre getting this worked up about it.
maybe itâs because of the special treatment. the delusional thoughts you have about your relationship with sukuna. you really thought that you two had something special. an unofficial romantic relationship, perhaps, or something that resembles it.
a secret, unspoken deal where youâre promised his loyalty in exchange for your body and soul.
although, those dreams have been shattered this very instance. youâre once again reminded of the animalistic nature of the being called ryomen sukuna.
he told you clearly that heâd never tie himself to someone, a human no less. devotion to one person? why would he.
âout of the way.â
you push the brunette and her sidekick the other way. youâre going to confront the man yourself. or at least, youâll try to. you can hear their sick laughs and chuckles fade into the background as you stomp your way towards sukunaâs chambers.
the other concubines seem to have gotten the gist. some peek their heads out of their rooms, grinning at you in victory. seeing your confidence slowly crumble and the realisation kick in - the realisation that your dear lordâs special treatment means absolutely nothing - is a sight for sore eyes to them.
you enter sukunaâs room and close the heavy doors behind you. you swallow the lump down your throat and try your best to look presentable.
no tears, you promise yourself. youâre not going to waste them on something like this.
âoh, itâs you, little one,â the familiar voice calls out. sukunaâs low and husky voice rings from his bed. heâs laid back against the many silky pillows, blowing smoke from his kiseru. he lays there like he doesnât care about your reappearance at all.
he eyes you up and down, âhow was your vacation, hm?â
sukuna asks like itâs the most normal thing to do. it seems like heâs trying to catch up with you, to ask you how youâve been enjoying your time alone, though it also seems like he couldnât care less at the same time.
âjust absolutely fine, my lord,â you reply with gritted teeth and an obvious hint of sarcasm. thereâs also a bitterness to your tone that doesnât go unnoticed by the pink-haired man. he frownsâthis cold greeting is not what he expected nor what he wanted to hear from your mouth. he expected you to at least smile at him like you usually do, but you didnât.
on top of that, you seemed to be annoyed with him. that unexpected attitude of yours made something inside of him snap. it irritated him somehow; the fact that youâre so comfortable talking to him like that . . . it reminded him of the recent inner conflict he had which you were the cause of.
one of his hands tightens into a fist at his side. his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow into slits. youâre physically in front of him, which means that heâs also about to experience those complicated feelings again. the same ones he tried fleeing from by letting you go on a break, and by physically taking his mind off you.
he did the latter by taking his frustrations out on his other women. the stress that came with the thought of him possibly liking a human, relieved by pure animalistic sex.
thatâs exactly what youâre upset about.
thereâs an urge inside of sukuna to act normal. to ignore those difficult emotions and just treat you like he usually does. yet, another part of him is trying to protect his sense of superiority by trying to push you away.
thereâs a war going on in his mind as he tries to calm himself down. youâve always had this effect on him and itâs becoming unbearable. he has to show you, no - remind you, that youâre nothing to him. you mean nothingânothing at all.
heâs the king of curses, youâre but a human. heâll need to remind himself of that obvious statement as well. heâs got all the power in this situation. not you.
you cannot rule over him or his mind.
âyou dare come back with an attitude? tch,â sukuna scoffs, nearly breaking the kiseru with his fingers as they squeeze around the solid material. heâs turning off whatever emotion present in his body. that doesnât belong there anyway. he wonât care if you cryâhe wonât care at all.
you notice the sudden change in sukunaâs tone as well. youâre sure youâre the reason for it. perhaps you crossed a boundary with how sassily you replied to him when he was simply asking you how your vacation went.
âmy apologies,â you murmur with a sigh. you try to avoid getting on sukunaâs nerves any further, yet when you remember the words from the concubine, how she implied that sukuna had given her the best night of her life when you were away, you get mad again.
your eyes have a fiery look in them. you donât want to get worked up. you donât have the right to. you were warned from the very beginning to not get attached to an asshole like ryomen sukuna.
youâre to blame for feeling like this. it couldâve been prevented if you just werenât so weak. if you just stayed away from him.
âdid you have fun while i was away, my lord?â you continue, your voice shaking a little. you need the confirmation. youâre sure sukuna knows what youâre referring to by now, especially because of the way youâre acting out of character.
the king of curses raises a brow at your question. you sound even angrier, even more pissed off. he tilts his head after taking a deep inhale of the tobacco from his kiseru. he tries to figure out what youâre hinting at, âwhat are youââ
and thatâs when everything fell into place. the dots connect.
sukunaâs jaw clenches. he realises that youâve found out about him receiving services from his other concubines while you were away. there could be no other explanation behind your sudden attitude. besides, he knows how his other concubines could be. they must have told you the moment you came back.
normally, heâd say that itâs none of your business. what he does is up to himâhe does not care about the consequences of his actions. though, seeing the slight hurt in your eyes, mixed with sadness and disappointment stirred something inside of him. he brushes that feeling away and stares at you intently, awaiting another comment. perhaps youâd cuss him out or bawl your eyes out in front of him.
either way, he promises himself that he wonât care.
sukuna is the king of curses. feeling bad for a human like you would only further tarnish his image, that image of superiority and power he has.
heâs a man of many needs. you shouldâve kept that in mind when you left him. he wanted to keep you with himâto hold you down and refuse to let you leaveâbut that would be another sign of weakness. one sukuna could not manage to show.
when you departed, he was irritated by the fact that he had no one to turn to with his needs. from simple needs like wanting your company to sexual needs like craving your body.
keeping you by his side or letting you go; both decisions seem to clash. either way, thereâs one thing heâs sure of, as much as he doesnât want to admit it: he missed you.
sukuna canât believe that he can feel an emotion like that. he canât accept that fact. thatâs why his irrational mind took overâhis dark urges that strived to prove himself to still be the same old ryomen sukuna. the monster that did not need a single soul. the ruthless man that did not depend on anyone else, especially not a human. a woman like you.
he thought heâd forget all about you if heâs surrounded himself with other women. but, he was quick to be proven wrong, and that only caused to enrage him more and more.
every time sukuna fucked a concubine, his thoughts still manage to drift away to you. to how he wished that it was you he was holding.
nothing hit the same with the other women and that frustrated him. heâd keep them around in his room after he fucked their brains out, something he never allowed a woman to do except for you, yet kicked them out again after a few minutes.
it doesnât hit the same.
youâre just different. your presence is soothing and calming to the chaotic soul of the pink-haired man. no one else could compare. that realisation made him feel inferior; a feeling he loathes.
sukunaâs red eyes glow. he hates seeing you look so defeated, but he cannot give in. if he tells you the truth, heâll admit his weakness. heâll admit that a human like you has completely taken over his brain. thatâs no good.
if he doesnât tell you the truth, heâll save face. heâll feel like himself again. his old selfâthe cold ruthless monster that he was before he met you. one without a soft spot for a human.
itâs an active dilemma thatâs running through his mind as he slowly blows out another cloud of smoke. you cannot guess whatâs going on behind those intimidating eyes staring you down.
sukuna tilts his head back and scratches his neck, smacking his lips as he makes his decision.
âyeah, i did. i had lots of fun.â
the words sting. they hurt you and make your heart ache in a way that makes you physically weak. you shouldâve expected that answer. your shoulders tense up and your fingers curl around the material of your kimonoâfeeling a sense of anger and betrayal.
you can see a ghost of a smirk on sukunaâs lips, which only reminds you of his nature. his nature as an independent, aloof and cold man who likes to play with his prey. a natural disaster that knows no emotion, that shows no mercy to anyone.
youâre naive for thinking that you could be the exception. all of those times with sukuna were confirmed to be but a lie in that moment. as your gazes meet, you can now easily interpret what that look in those red eyes meant.
âknow your place,â
thatâs what it means. youâre foolish, dumb. you take a deep breath to compose yourself after youâve been made out to be a total fool. you shouldâve listened to those warnings, you shouldâve known that you were getting played.
this is exactly what sukuna desired to achieve. to build up your trust, to make you comfortable enough with him, to think youâre special and that he wonât need any other woman other than you â just to shatter your pathetic delusions when the time comes.
âtsk tsk. no need to look at me like that,â sukuna scoffs, a mocking laugh leaving his lips. he can hear a small voice in the back of his head telling him to shut up and let you go, to not make it worse, but who is he to listen to that irrelevant thought? he can decide for himself.
âyâ werenât around, so the other concubines simply did their job by serving me,â he stares the other way, seemingly not interested by your presence anymore. his face is as expressionless as ever, âwhat do yâ think i keep them âround for, brat? for decoration purposes? hah, nah.â
another loud mocking laugh makes you nearly burst out in tears. you donât know if itâs in anger or sadness. you take a deep, shaky breath for the last time. you unclench your fists and nod, accepting the reality check youâd just gotten.
itâs a slap to the face, but it helped you get out of your delusions. the delusions that sukuna is a man capable of loving someone, even if it is just for a tiny bit. this visit confirmed that thereâs not an ounce of love or appreciation in that manâs body.
âiâm glad you had fun, my lord,â you answer after a bit of silence. you bow at sukuna in an attempt to stay polite while struggling with that inner turmoil. you donât even glance up at him anymore. you need another break already.
sukuna isnât dumb. you may think that youâre good at hiding your emotions, but youâre not. at least not around the king of curses. heâs spent enough time around you to realise that youâre going through a lot right now.
heâs the reason for it, yet he cannot bring himself to feel an ounce of empathy. he just looks at you with a blank stare, thinking that this is for the best.
âgood night then,â you add and turn around to walk out of sukunaâs room. your steps are slow as you secretly hope to be called back, like sukuna would do every time youâd leave his room after an intimate night. you just want him to tell you that this was a test of some sortâa cruel joke.
you want to feel like his favorite again. you donât want to be thrown away like this. you donât want to be on the same level as all the other concubines. you want to stand out to him.
unfortunately, you donât hear sukunaâs voice anymore. he lets you walk away without a care in the world. the heavy doors of his chambers close behind you and you feel your knees buckle. âfuck,â you cuss to yourself and clench your chest.
you lean back against the closed doors and try to regain your composure. crying can be done when youâre in your roomânot in the hallway where anyone could catch you. you donât want to give the other concubines more reason to bully you.
you drag your feet across the wooden flooring. all those times with sukuna, all those slight glimpses of his soft side that only youâre allowed to seeâ all of that is thrown into the trash.
you really shouldnât have gotten so attached to him on an emotional level.
meanwhile, sukuna is silently sitting on his bed, thinking back to what just happened. he usually never doubts his decisions, but this is an exception. why couldnât he just tell you the truth?
his mouth had moved before he could let his mind process all that he was feeling. a small part of him regrets it, though strangely, he couldnât feel any real sympathy for your situation.
sukuna drapes an arm over his eyes, clicking his tongue at himself. he just wants to let the situation go, though his brain isnât letting him to. the image of you standing at the edge of his bed, clearly hurt by his actions, flashes through his mind again.
he sighs. heâs sure that heâs going to forget about you soon enough. he needed an excuse to get rid of you for the sake of regaining control over his own being and he took the chance. he should be glad that he didâit meant that heâd be his usual selfâwith no weaknesses to look out for.
sukuna blows out another cloud of smoke through his mouth. as much as heâs proud of himself for not giving in to you, he canât help but let his thoughts wander again. youâre probably crying in your room. he knows youâre sensitive. you would always cry about the smallest of things and heâd hold you (feigning reluctance) until youâve calmed down.
he canât do that now.
well, he can, but he wonât. sukuna has made his decision today: itâs power and status over you. thatâs what itâs always been. you were but a toy he used to get a stronger grip on himself.
perhaps he simply is what people make him out to be; a monster. nothing more, nothing less.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk angst#sukuna angst#ryomen sukuna angst
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Husband?
About: How does he react when you accidentally call him your 'husband'? Pairing: Reader x Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus (Seperate) Note: Reader and the men are in a relationship. My inbox is open for prompts and requests :)
RAFAYEL
The evening was going smoother than expected, considering Rafayel had dragged you along to one of his many gallery showings. He had made a big deal about how you should be the one showing off his work to the public, claiming he didnât want to deal with the âart-snobs." Yet, the second you both arrived, he quickly preoccupied himself on his phone, leaving you to handle most of the small talk.
One of the visitors, a curious older woman, was admiring a painting of his, a chaotic burst of color with soft hints of golden light. You were discussing Rafayelâs "creative process" (whatever that wasâhe hadn't told you much before retreating to his phone), when she asked how long youâd been working with him.
âOh, itâs been a while now. Itâs honestly amazing seeing him grow like thisâmy husbââ You froze mid-sentence, realizing the slip just as it left your mouth.
"Husband?"
The word hung in the air for barely a second before you felt Rafayelâs presence shift. His head shot up like a bolt of lightning, his playful, cunning eyes locking onto yours. You could practically feel his grin before you even dared to glance over. You didnât even need to turn around to feel his gaze burning into you, practically shouting, Oh? Husband, you say?
âHusband, huh?â Rafayel drawled, pocketing his phone and sauntering toward you with that signature smirk of his. âI didnât realize we were making things official tonight. If Iâd known, Iâd have worn something even more dazzling.â
You flushed, attempting to stammer out a correction, but he was far too pleased to let you off the hook that easily. He leaned casually against the gallery wall, one arm crossing his chest as he dramatically placed a hand over his heart.
He gently took your hand in his, his dramatic flair dialed up to maximum as he pressed an exaggerated kiss to your knuckles, clearly relishing the moment. "I mean, I canât say Iâm surprised. Who wouldnât want to marry someone as charming as me?"
The visitor chuckled awkwardly, clearly not sure whether to stay or go, but Rafayel was already having way too much fun. âOf course, as your loving husband,â he continued, drawing out the word in a singsong voice, âitâs only fitting that Iâm showered with even more attention now, isnât it? I expect lots of praise, darling. I mean, just look at me." He struck a faux thought-provoking pose, tilting his head and flipping a lock of his perfectly tousled hair.
You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment, but at the same time, his antics made you laugh. âI didnât mean toâ"
"Oh no, no,â he interrupted, wagging his finger playfully. âYou canât take it back now. The wordâs out, Miss Bodyguard. Youâve called me your husband. That means youâre stuck with me. Forever.â There was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. âDoes this mean I get to cheat at board games forever too?â
You groaned, rolling your eyes as you playfully swatted at his shoulder. âAs if you needed a reason to cheat more!â
Rafayel laughed, that familiar bratty grin plastered across his face. âWell, if Iâm your husband now, I think itâs only fair I get first dibs on everything. Cards, claw machinesâoh, and donât forget, I demand the comfiest seat when we binge-watch our shows.â
Despite his teasing, the warmth in his eyes made your heart skip a beat. You could see the genuine delight he took in your slip-up, how pleased he was at the thought, even if heâd never admit it outright.
âFine, fine,â you sighed dramatically, playing along. âBut donât expect me to let you win at everything, âhusband.ââ
Rafayel beamed, and for a moment, that bratty, carefree mask of his slipped, just a little. He tugged you closer, his voice softening as he murmured, âDeal.â Then, just as quickly, he switched back to his usual, cheeky self. âNow, letâs go, wife. Youâre required to be by my side while I survive this boring night. â
Shaking your head, you laughed, unable to hide the smile creeping onto your lips. âYouâre impossible.â
The woman, watching the scene unfold with a warm smile, laughed. âYou two make quite the pair.â
âOh, we do, donât we?â Rafayel quipped before lowering his voice just enough for only you to hear, leaning in ever so slightly. âYouâve really outdone yourself, calling me that in front of witnesses. Now theyâll all expect a wedding invitation.â
Your face burned as you tried to shush him, but he was loving every second of it. He tilted his head, his hair catching the light as his smile softened into something more genuine, the bratty exterior fading just a bit. âStill⌠I canât say I hate the sound of it,â he murmured, brushing a finger lightly under your chin before pulling back with a playful wink. âI might just get used to hearing it.â
You could only manage a huff of exasperation, but deep down, you couldnât help but feel a flutter at the way his teasing had just a hint of sincerity behind it.
Rafayel, always dramatic, and yet somehow, just when you least expected it, a little bit sweet.
ZAYNE
You and Zayne were in the middle of your usual weekly grocery run, efficiently dividing and conquering your list to save time. Heâd taken off towards the produce section while you headed for the rice aisle. As you browsed the different varieties, a middle-aged man beside you struggled with lifting a heavy bag of rice.
"Need a hand?" you asked, stepping in to help. The man smiled gratefully as you hoisted the bag into his cart with ease.
"Thank you, young lady," he said, rubbing his wrist. "My arthritis is flaring up today. Getting oldâs no fun."
You offered him a sympathetic smile. âNo problem at all. My husbandâs a doctor, actually. Iâm sure heâd tell you to take it easy on that wrist."
The man nodded in agreement, offering you one last thanks before heading off. You turned back to your cart, completely unaware of the word you had just let slipâhusbandâor the fact that Zayne had returned in time to hear it.
You felt him step up behind you, his presence calm yet undeniably magnetic. When you finally glanced over, he was standing there, hands in his pockets, a small, amused smile playing at the corner of his lips.
"Husband, hmm?" he said softly, his tone more curious than teasing. "That's... new."
You froze for a second, eyes widening as you realized what youâd said. Â You opened your mouth, the words tripping over each other in a rush. âI didnâtâ I mean, it justâslipped out. Weâre not actuallyâI mean, obviously, weâre notââ You could feel the heat creeping up your neck, and no amount of backpedaling was helping.
Zayne didnât seem in a rush to let you off the hook. His hand found yours, fingers intertwining with an ease that made your heart stutter. âYou know,â he said, voice as calm as ever, âif this is your way of bringing it up, there are smoother ways to do it.â His teasing was subtle, barely perceptible if you didnât know him well, but it was there in the gentle tug of his smile.
You groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. âZayne, I didnât mean toââ
But Zayne, ever level-headed, merely took your hand in his, his thumb gently brushing against your knuckles. âRelax,â he said, his voice low and soothing. âItâs not like I mind the idea.â
Your heart skipped a beat at that, and you looked up at him in surprise. There was a softness in his usually stoic gaze, the kind that made your stomach flip. He continued, his voice measured but affectionate, âSeems like the next logical step, doesnât it? My parents have been asking me when Iâm going to take that step with you for a while now.â
His calm tone made the statement feel both casual and monumental at the same time. âWait, your parentsâŚ?â you started, blinking as your brain processed this new information.
âMhm,â Zayne replied, still holding your hand as though it was the most natural thing in the world. âTheyâve been pretty vocal about it, actually. But Iâve been waiting for the right moment.â
The right moment. Those words hung in the air, and you could feel the weight of what he was saying. He was seriousâcalm and casual, as always, but serious. Your breath caught, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade into the background. It was just you and Zayne in that grocery aisle, hands linked, talking about a future you hadnât even realized you both wanted.
âOnly if you wanted to, of course,â he added, his thumb still tracing soft circles on your hand. âI wouldnât do anything unless we both agreed.â
You stared at him, a smile slowly spreading across your face despite the initial shock. âYouâre really suggesting this now? In the middle of a grocery store?â
Zayne smirked, his usual pragmatic self. âWell, weâre already talking about it. Might as well make use of the time.â He glanced down at your joined hands, his tone softening again. âBesides, I think itâs worth discussing what our future looks like, donât you?â
Your heart swelled at his words, and the warmth of his hand in yours was enough to make you feel grounded, no matter how your emotions were spinning. âYeah,â you said, smiling as you squeezed his hand gently. âI think itâs definitely worth talking about.â
Zayne leaned in closer, his lips brushing your temple in a rare public display of affection. âGood,â he murmured, his voice filled with a quiet kind of affection that made your chest tighten. âWeâll talk more later.â
He pulled away just as smoothly, picking up the cart with a practiced ease, as though he hadnât just suggested the two of you start planning your future together. His eyes twinkled, a subtle tease hiding behind that usual calm exterior of his.
âAnd for the record,â he added, as the two of you moved on to the next aisle, âI wouldnât mind hearing you call me âhusbandâ again.â
Your cheeks heated again, but this time, you didnât bother trying to hide your smile. âGuess youâll have to earn it first, doctor.â
Zayne chuckled softly, that familiar, grounded confidence in his voice. âIâll be sure to work on that.â
SYLUS
The desert sun was relentless, and you could feel its heat pressing down on you as you stood beside Sylus, waiting to be seated inside the restaurant. He had dragged you out of Linkon on one of his mysterious venturesâno explanation, no warning, just the two of you thrust into the desert with little more than his cryptic directions. And while Sylus might have thrived in the N109 Zone's shadowy world, he was decidedly out of place here in the glaring sunlight,already starting to show hints of discomfort.
You glanced over at him, squinting slightly under the bright light. His expression was carefully controlled as always, but you noticed how his hand twitched subtly as if annoyed by the heat. The two of you had been waiting to be seated inside for a while now, and you decided it was time to speed things up.
Catching the attention of a passing waitress, you waved her over, putting on your best expression of concern. âExcuse me, my husband and I were hoping to be seated inside. Iâm feeling a little faint under the harsh sun,â you said smoothly, the lie of you feeling faint rolling off your tongue with ease.
The word husband had slipped out so naturally, you didnât even realize your mistake until the waitress nodded sympathetically and promised to get you a table indoors right away. As she walked off, you felt a cold gaze slide over you, and you turned to see Sylus staring down at you, one brow raised, a slow, dangerous smile creeping across his face.
âHusband?â His voice was smooth, but there was a teasing lilt beneath it. âDid I miss a wedding, wife?â
Your breath caught in your throat. "Waitâno, I didn't meanâ" You started to stammer, heat rising to your cheeks, but before you could backtrack any further, Sylusâ arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer to his side. His grip was firm, possessive, and you could feel the smug amusement radiating off of him.
âI like the sound of that,â he murmured, leaning in just close enough for you to catch the scent of the desert air still clinging to his clothes. His lips ghosted near your ear, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. âMaybe this is a sign I should make it official.â
You swallowed hard, heart racing as you tried to keep your composure. âOfficial?â you echoed, your voice coming out a little more breathless than you intended. âWhatâwhat are you talking about?â
Sylusâ smirk widened, his amber eyes gleaming in the sun. âOh? Cat got your tongue, Sweetie?â he teased, his tone dripping with amusement as he let his fingers trace a light circle on your hip. âYou seemed so sure a moment ago, wife. But now? Speechless.â
You blinked, trying to gather your wits, but the sheer cockiness in his tone was making it hard to think straight. âIâŚI was justâŚhelping us get a table,â you protested weakly, trying to pull away from his grip, but his hold only tightened.
âOh, Iâm sure you were,â he drawled, clearly reveling in your flustered state. âBut now that youâve set the bar so high, donât tell me youâre going to back out on me. After all, you made quite the declaration back there.â
âI wasnâtââ You huffed, narrowing your eyes at him as you regained a sliver of your usual confidence. âYou know it was a slip-up, Sylus. Donât start getting ideas.â
He chuckled darkly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. âIdeas? Sweetie, I live for ideas.â His grip loosened just enough to let you step back, but the way he looked at you made it clear he wasnât about to let you wriggle out of this one easily. âBut letâs be honest, you didnât hate it. Calling me your husband.â
Your face flushed again, but this time, you managed to meet his gaze without faltering. âI didnât hate it,â you admitted, folding your arms, âbut donât go thinking youâve won. Iâm not about to sign any papers just because you liked hearing it.â
Sylus tilted his head, the playful smile never leaving his lips. âWeâll see about that, kittenâ he said, the threatâor promiseâhanging in the air between you as the waitress returned to guide you inside.
You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. âPlease, Sylus. You couldnât handle being married to me.â
He raised an eyebrow, leaning in with that infuriating smirk. âOh, I think I could handle you just fine, sweetheart. Youâre the one who might need to keep up.â
You shot back, âKeep up? Iâd be carrying you the whole way.â
âCareful, Sweetie. That sounds an awful lot like a challenge.â He chuckled, his hand brushing against yours again. âNow thatâs a tempting thought.â
âTempting? Try exhausting,â you quipped.
As you walked beside him, you felt his arm brush against yours, and the sensation lingered far longer than it should have. Sylus, of course, said nothing, though the smug expression never quite left his face.
This was clearly far from over. And judging by the glint in his eye, Sylus was going to make sure you never forgot your little slip-up.
XAVIER
The cafĂŠ was quiet, filled with the soft murmur of patrons and the comforting smell of fresh pastries. You and Xavier had settled in for a peaceful afternoon, your table already adorned with a delightful array of treats. He had requested a simple drinkâno whipped cream. The barista returned, placing his drink in front of him with an impressive mountain of whipped cream on top. Xavier, as calm and indifferent as ever, simply blinked at it, showing no signs of complaint. He wasnât going to say a word about it, but that didnât mean you were going to let it slide.
Excusing yourself, you raised a hand and called over a passing staff member. âExcuse me,â you began, with a polite smile. âMy husband asked for no whipped cream on his drink, but it looks like thereâs some here by mistake. Would it be alright for us to get it changed?â
The words tumbled out so smoothly that you didnât even realize your slip-up until the staff member nodded apologetically and hurried back to fix the order. It was only when you turned back around that you saw Xavier sitting there, looking unusually... stunned.
He was blinking slowly at you, his expression softened by a hint of confusion andâwas that amusement? âHusband?â he repeated, his soft voice barely more than a murmur.
Your face flushed as you fumbled for an explanation. âOh, no, waitâ! I didnât meanââ You stammered, desperately trying to backtrack. âThat just slipped out! I meant to sayâŚuh my boyfriend? Partner? Date? Notâwell, not husband, obviouslyâŚâ
Xavier continued to blink, his face now showing just a little more expression than usual. The faintest curl of a smile played on his lips, and he tilted his head, considering your words. âI mustâve missed that chapter in the 'Guide to a Healthy Relationship,'â he said in that calm, unruffled way of his. âI didnât know weâd moved on to the husband-and-wife stage.â
You groaned inwardly, burying your face in your hands. âI swear, it was an accident. Just ignore what I said.â
But Xavier was clearly in no mood to let it go. âSo, dear wife,â he continued, completely unfazed by your protests, âdo you think weâll have matching mugs in our future? Maybe get a nice house, with a small garden and a picket fence?â
You shot him a playful glare, but the way he was looking at you made it impossible to stay annoyed. âVery funny,â you muttered, though your lips were twitching at the corners, betraying your amusement.
âI think it has a nice ring to it,â Xavier said, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying this far more than you expected. âI wonder how long it would take for people in the association to start sending us wedding gifts. Or perhaps they'd just send weapons... you know, as a gesture of goodwill.â
You couldnât help but laugh. âI donât think wedding gifts are really their style, Xavier.â
âHmm, youâre probably right,â he said thoughtfully, then leaned in slightly, lowering his voice conspiratorially. âBut you did call me your husband in public. Shouldnât we at least play the part now?â
Your cheeks were burning, but you couldnât resist playing along with his ridiculousness. âFine,â you said, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow. âBut just so you know, dear husband, youâll be the one doing the dishes.â
Xavier chuckled softly, the sound rare and surprisingly warm. âAs long as you take care of meals. A fair trade.â
You were about to retort when the waitress returned with Xavierâs newly corrected drinkâthis time, free of whipped cream. She set it down with a smile, glancing between the two of you as if sheâd picked up on the playful atmosphere. âHere you go,â she said. âNo whipped cream this time, sir.â
Xavierâs eyes glinted as he thanked her with a nod, and after she left, he looked back at you with a satisfied expression. âSee? Husband perks,â he teased, taking a sip of his drink.
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât hide the smile spreading across your face. âYouâre an idiot.â
âAnd youâre adorable when youâre flustered,â he said, the teasing lilt in his voice gentler now. He took your hand under the table, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. âBut... thank you,â he added after a beat, his voice softer and more sincere. âFor speaking up for me.â
You blinked at him, momentarily thrown off by the gratitude in his tone. âOf course,â you said, squeezing his hand in return. âThatâs what wives do, right?â
Xavier let out a soft laugh. âI suppose so,â he murmured, his lips quirking into a rare, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat.
In that moment, with his hand in yours and the gentle teasing in the air, it was easy to forget the world outside the cafĂŠ. Just the two of you, playing pretendâbut maybe, just maybe, something more.
AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#drabbleswithlina#l&ds zayne#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#lads drabble#l&ds sylus#l&ds rafayel#l&ds xavier#l&ds#zayne#xavier#rafayel
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hi!!! here for a request. can we have a imagine where reader has a wound from surgery or whatever on like in a rib and she hides to change the bandages but then spencer sees her and heâs like âlemme help youâ andâŚ
you do you for the rest!
in which spencer helps BAU fem!reader change her bandages in the bathroom at work. it's intimate, and he's adorable and awkward, and it only fuels her terrible, terrible crush.
warnings/tags: fluff, talk/description of wound, brief talk of being stabbed (does not actually occur in this fic lol), reader wears a bra, spencer undoes said bra but not sexually, lots of suggestive humor and teasing, a TINY sprinkling of angst but not really, idiots in love
a/n: i'm picturing early seasons spencer and it is filling me with so much unbridled joy. I. LOVE. HIM. thank you for the request!! and lets not talk about how inconsistent my formatting for requests is pls and thanks!!
Itâs not like you meant to bend down so quickly that your wound reopenedâbut here you are, suffering the consequences of your actions in the womenâs bathroom at Quantico as you try to assess the injury before you re-bandage it. And your shoe is still untied.Â
Unfortunately, the fact that you had quite literally been stabbed in the back last week makes it hard to reach said injuryâespecially when youâre at work and so canât take off your shirt like you normally would. And all this struggling means itâs taking longer than it should, so now youâre focused on the wound and its scabby, wet edges and all the things itâs secreting rather than hurrying to give another statement of the entire event to Hotch since the first one had apparently been too sparse on the details.Â
A knock sounds on the open door. Spencer calls your name.Â
âYou in there?â
The angle of your neck has your voice slightly strained as you call back, âyeah, whatâs up? Is it Hotch?â you pause to hiss as you accidentally scratch at the wound with a nail. You donât even want to know how much bacteria you just introduced to it. âTell him I didnât forget our meeting, Iâll be there inââ
âItâs not Hotch. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with your back? I know you said you were going to check on it, but youâve been in there a while.â
You sigh, dropping your sore arm as you continue to hold up your shirt with the other and regarding the reflection of your back in the mirror.Â
âActuallyâcould you come in here?â
Thereâs a pause.Â
âYou want me to come into the womenâs restroom?â
âYes, Spencer. Itâs fine. Thereâs nobody else in here. I just⌠I need some help, I think.â
The last part is admitted quietly, with an air of defeat. To admit to needing help, is, by your standards, the same as failure. Spencer knows this, which is probably the only reason he puts aside his hesitations and shuffles uncertainly into the tiled room. If youâre asking for help, itâs because you really need it.Â
âWhat do you need help with?â he asks, sweeping his gaze suspiciously around the lavatory as if you were lying about there not being any other women present and this whole thing might be a trap of some sort.Â
âItâs gross, and you can totally say no.â
He raises his brows expectantly, before spotting the weeping wound on your back. Unconsciously he steps closer, leaning forward. Itâs not your fault, and the gore is not specific to youâanyoneâs body would react this way to being stabbed. But you still feel embarrassed by the close attention to such an ugly marring, which nobody besides you and your doctors has actually seen up close.
âThat doesnât look good,â he mutters. The expression on his face is irritatingly familiarâthe drawn brows, tightened eyes, barely parted lipsâbut it takes a moment before you realize what it is.Â
âReid,â you complain. Heâs still stooped over slightly to examine the wound, and looks up at you through dark lashes with those infuriatingly warm puppydog eyes.
âWhat?â
âYouâre looking at me the way you look at a dead body on the slab.â
His nose scrunches.
Some might say it scrunches adorably.Â
âNo, Iâm not. Thatâs just my face.â
âOkay, well stop. Itâs freaking me out.â
He poutsâactually pouts. Subtle, but bottom lip jutted out and all. Itâs ridiculously endearing.Â
âMy face freaks you out?â
âWhâno! Thatâs not what I said! You haveâyou have a great face! I didnât meanââÂ
You manage to claw yourself out of the hole youâre digging when you see the dopey smile growing on his face.Â
Oh. He was fucking with you.Â
He never used to do that. Itâs unnerving to be the fucked with instead of the fucker for a change. Especially when itâs Spencer.Â
âWhat did you need me for?â Spencer asks by way of peace offering. You close your eyes and sigh, attempting to collect your thoughts without his presence re-scrambling them. Â
âUmâI just need you to put this bandage over it. I canât reach without taking my shirt off.â
And now youâre forced to wonder if heâs thinking about you shirtless as much as youâre thinking about you shirtless.
âYeahâdonât do that,â he says absentmindedly, stepping again closer to get a better look before turning to the nearest sink.
For some reason, this offends you.Â
âWhy not?â
Spencer pulls another face as he washes his handsâyou love the constant flow of expressions he always seems so unconscious of. Even when theyâre not pleasant and directed at you. Â
âAre you asking me why shouldnât you take your shirt off?â he clarifies.Â
âI know why I shouldnât take my shirt off, but I want to know why you think I shouldnât take my shirt off.â
âBecause weâre at work?â he observes astutely. You frown deeply at his completely logical reply. Spencer chuckles as he dries his hands and approaches once more, taking the square of gauze pre-lined with medical tape from your hand. âI mean, I canât stop you. But it would be kind of a weird choice.â
âOh, so me shirtless is weird?â
Cool fingers meet the comparatively hot skin of your backâwhere everything is still sensitive because the wound wreaked havoc on your nerves there. You flinch slightly.Â
âSorry,â he murmurs gently. Though his touch is so incredibly light it doesnât really hurtâit hurts much less than when youâre tending to the wound, anyway. Itâs almost soothing. After a moment he continues, a bit louder. âAnd that is not what I was saying. But I am completely comfortable asserting that it would be weird for you to be shirtless at work.â
The gentle touches contrast with his teasing words and serve to disorient you as youâre shaken back in to your usual dynamic. Which is markedly more sarcastic.Â
âWellââ
Before you have to think of something to say, Spencer interrupts you.Â
âYour, umâI think yourâŚÂ brassiereâŚÂ is in the way.â
As soon as he says it you burst out laughing. It echoes through the room.Â
âMy brassiere? Are you actually 70 years old?â
His brows knit even tighter and his face gets very pink very quickly. He canât meet your eyes over your shoulder.Â
âThatâs what itâs called.â
âSpencer, you may be the first person to use that word since 1952. Say bra.â
âI donât want to,â he complains. Your laughter only grows as your head tips back.Â
âWhy? How is brassiere better than bra?â
âItâsâitâs too colloquial! Iâm trying to be professional!â
âCall it a bra or Iâm going to rub my dirty hands all over my back,â you threaten, adopting a poker face so he knows you mean business. His eyes widen immediately.Â
âOh my god! Bra! Do you want to introduce staph and meningitis and gâdo not do that!â
âSee? How hard was that?â
âI hate you,â he mumbles, face still flushed and adorable. âAnd you still have to take it off.â
âExcuse me?â you grin, pretending to be affronted because you know he didnât mean it like that but itâs fun to pretend he did. Fun for you, of course. Not so much for him. He's utterly flustered by this point.
âOr at least undo it! Itâs in the way.â
With a deeply bored sigh, you go to unclasp your braâbut as you go to do it your shirt drops down. You grimace, humor briefly forgotten as the fabric brushes the damaged skin.Â
âI canâtââ
âOkay, justâIâll do it,â Spencer says. âJust move your shirt again.â
So you do, watching his reflection as he works.
And you have not one joke to break the heavy silence with as you feel his knuckles gently pressing into the middle of your back, as he unclasps the bra with his characteristic tenderness and a surprising amount of agility. Itâs quiet except for your pulse in your own ears as he carefully pushes it out of his way, holding it down with a hand to your rib cage and fingertips slipping just under the fabric of your shirtâunintentionally and certainly non-sexual, no doubt, but skimming under your heart in a way that still feels so intimate youâre realizing how touch-starved you are.Â
âYou do that often?â you find yourself asking, because youâre stupid, and you need to cool the tension before it chokes you, and you canât help yourself even though you donât actually want to know the answer.Â
âI,â he begins, voice quiet as rustling paper, tongue darting over his lip and eyes narrowed. The sentence stalls as he focuses on placing the patch just so. âDo not think that is an appropriate workplace question.â
Something aches in the pit of your stomach.Â
Something resembling jealousy.Â
It was not the timid evasive linguistic maneuver of someone who is insecure about the thing theyâre discussing. It was not the awkward fumbling no but I donât want to tell you that which you were expecting from Spencer Reid.Â
Nor is it an easy yesâan admission between friends. He doesnât want to tell you.Â
You swallow and try to act like yourself.Â
âYet here you are, in the womanâs restroom at our place of employment, undoing my bra. I think weâre past professionalism.â
âWhen you decontextualize it like that it sounds like something itâs not. This is professional, because Iâm helping you with a wound you sustained on the job. Iâm being a good colleague.â
Your lips twist into a smile he canât see.Â
âA great colleague would kiss it better.â
âIt's almost like you want me to file a sexual harassment complaint with HR," he says through a little smirk as he smooths the bandage over. Before you can snip back, he steamrolls over his own teasingâyouâve both been speaking in almost reverent tones since he started but his voice loses the sarcastic edge from a second before and reverts back to concerned and sweet. âDoes that feel okay?â
You rotate your shoulders best you can without letting go of your shirt or flashing the good doctor to check if it feels secure. Â
âItâs good. And heyâif I were going to sexually harass you I would do a lot better than that. You think thatâs my best material? Thatâs just the tip of the iceberg. I keep so many inappropriate comments to myself. Youâd be shocked by some of the things I have almost said to you.â
He laughs, secures the band of your bra and begins fitting it to the clasp youâd had it onâand at that precise moment Emily walks in.Â
âHâwoah.â
âItâsâIâmâI was helping her!â Spencer panics, immediately removing his hands from you like his palms are burning and holding them up defensively.Â
âOh, you helped me alright,â you tease, pulling your shirt back into place.Â
âDonât say it like that!â And then, to Emily, âI was changing out her bandage!â
âChanging my bandage,â you emphasize, winking more than is advisable.Â
âThatâsâthis is a hostile work environment! I feel unsafe!â Spencer almost yells, half laughs, as he scampers towards the door. âIâm going to HR!â
âShut up! You love it!â
His laughter audibly travels farther away for several moments as he presumably goes back down the hallway to do his actual job.Â
You have the stupidest grin on your face, but you wipe it off when you notice Emily staring.Â
âWhat?â
âNothing,â she says, shaking her head and looking away, moving toward a stall. âYouâre just⌠you guys are funny.â
âWhat do you mean funny?â You demand, standing right outside her stall as she closes it.Â
âWhâI mean funny! Are you going to listen to me pee, you weirdo?â
You frown.Â
She makes a good point.Â
Unfortunately, giving Hotch a more detailed statement is just as bad as youâd thought itâd be. Despite how cheery youâve tried to remain about the whole situation, despite the way you insisted that the wound was so shallow you didnât need more than a few days off work, despite the jokes you make about forgetting itâs even there because itâs on your backâitâs hard not to remember exactly how the glass felt twisting under your skin, how youâd felt suddenly so hot and lightheaded and sick to your stomach and the way Morgan hollered because he didnât know how deep it had gone after you crumpled quick from shock, when youâre asked to describe it all in excruciating detail.Â
It only takes ten minutes, but they seem to drag on and on and by the time youâre leaving Hotchâs office you feel utterly drained. You hurry back to your desk, covertly wiping away moisture that you refuse to allow to become tears. Once seated, and having dodged sympathetic looks and avoided any do you want to talk about its, you allow yourself a few deep breaths with your eyes shut.Â
When you open them, you realize thereâs a fresh cup of your favorite tea on your desk, in the Snoopy mug the team is always fighting over. Now his little black nose is covered by a square of yellow paper. Youâre already smiling as you peel away the sticky note and hold it closer.Â
On it is an adorably odd smiley-face, and a note in familiar, messy looping scrawl.Â
I would never report you to HR beautiful
That would be a stab in the back!
You snort loudly and clap a hand to your mouthâbut youâve already drawn the attention of almost everyone in the bullpen.Â
When you turn to look at Spencer, heâs not looking back. Instead, his eyes are firmly trained on his computer screen. But heâs got his chin propped on his fist over the desk, and his knuckles are doing a poor job of concealing a giant self satisfied grin. He is the only person on the team who knows you well enough to make such a distasteful joke. And he also knows you well enough to know that it would make you feel so much better after your meeting with Hotch than all the well-meaning sincerity in the world ever could.
Funny.Â
Maybe that is the right word for what you two are.Â
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfic
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Iâm just having a shit time and feeling pretty miserable lately and Iâve been trying to not think too much about it or let it soak but it still gets in through the cracks. And earlier today I was reminded that 1 year ago today I got out of the hospital after my suicide attempt. Which just kind of makes me feel worse. I was miserable then and Iâm still miserable now. Almost nothing has actually changed since then, both within me, personally and my life, and outside of me. Itâs still the same
#this is brought on by the last post I reblogged#I already rambled about this in my mood tracker journal thing but . damn. is this just forever#itâs so hard to believe Iâm ever going to ACTUALLY get better. or that things will ACTUALLY change#the only main difference between a year ago and now is that I dropped out of college. thatâs about it#and the thing is that thereâs stuff I could (and should) be doing to change stuff. I need to try harder#but it is so difficult for no reason at all. I can barely even take care of myself lately#so so so much of my life is fully in my hands and I just need to TRY and START and GO. I know this. Iâm incredibly aware of this#I just canât fucking get myself to do anything or feel anything or care enough to make a good consistent effort#I want to!! I really really fucking want to do things and change things and Get Better and Make Progress#god. anyway. the post I reblogged before this made me cry because of my recent attempt and thinking about how Iâm currently fairing#but also because of how my parents are handling how I am right now. and I do think itâs justified. but it still hurts#I barely got that kind of response (like the post) from my parents after my attempt#although Iâm not sure what I expected. or even what I wanted from them#sometimes I still think about how my mother acted/responded to me both before I willingly admitted myself and during my attempt#it hurts. it hurts a lot. I still feel so fucking stupid for thinking sheâd react in a sympathetic or empathetic or kind or compassionate#and then last month was she said something about me killing myself in an almost mocking way. as if itâs something to make light of#I feel like screaming. I feel awful and nothing is different and I know I need to make it different myself and just try harder#but sometimes I think that if I could actually get better then I wouldâve by now. or at least wouldâve started improving somewhat#I have tried. thereâs a lot of things Iâve tried. and I really want to get better and not be like this anymore and have things change#nothing ever seems to help or stick or do enough though. I throw myself at a wall and when I can manage to stand I do it again#ok. ending this post now. I wrote a lot#dead text
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SVSSS!Sibling Transmigration AU
Based so very loosely on this glorious art by @nibbelraz
Airplane transmigrates into the youngest infant son of the Shang family (and God damn he deserves better than this System he is their god!! Daddy Airplane?? Heard of him?? These people should not be changing his damn diaper hello??)
Shang Qinghua is already a young disciple when he visits home and meets his little brother for the first time and does no one else see there is something... off about this kid?
He makes regular trips home afterwards, eventually using An Ding logistics to find reasons to be near his hometown more frequently (and really does no one else see this kid is weird?)
Bby!Airplane is just too smart. SQH is convinced he saw the kid make eye contact with him once when he caught him stealing a dumpling behind their mother's back and it was like looking into the eyes of a demon who'd gut him if he snitched and not a human toddler
It doesn't get better as Airplane gets older and SQH hears him muttering about 1. things he shouldn't know at all regarding the sect when he thinks SQH isn't listening and 2. absolute nonsense (what System has done you so wrong didi?? you are four??)
Before Airplane is old enough to reasonably join the sect, SQH brings him back to the mountain anyway. He is fairly certain his brother is a seer and if that's the case, he's keeping the little welp close at hand
Airplane infinitely regrets how much bullshit he made An Ding deal with to ""hand wave lazy writing"" (shut up peerless cucumber!! he was writing porn not project management!!) but even just watching SQH run himself ragged over the peak has bby him exhausted (no wonder he ratted y'all out to the king yeesh)
He spends his early years as a disciple just following SQH and sometimes nudging his gege into record shattering discoveries because SQH will pat his head when he realizes and take him down the mountain for noodles afterwards (gg easy)
Airplane is a proper disciple in his own right in his teens when his notes and his story get jumbled in a way that has him tripping into one of his shixiongs when he hears the rumors - Head Disciple SJ returned to the mountain with a little brother (record screech glass shattering huh???)
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Jiu's unnamed younger half-brother After finding stability at the sect, Shen Jiu looks into his birth mother, knowing she sold him off when he was a child What he finds in Airplane's unwritten notes is a Fantine-Cosette backstory where his mother, a courtesan, gave him away to a good family after he was born. She sent them regular payments to ensure his care, but only found out when she was pregnant with SY that they had sold SJ off and were pocketing her money Unable to find SJ and unwilling to risk SY, she and the other courtesans raised SY within the brothel SY transmigrates into the body of a child at his sick mother's bedside with a twisted sense of deja vu having just vacated his own deathbed He doesn't know where he is, but if the orphan protagonist can make it to the sect, so can he right? (Transmigrator Halo? System? System why are you laughing??) He's barely into his second teens when SJ finds him. It takes no time at all after learning the truth for SJ to demand SY's guardianship and whisk him back to Qing Ding (See System? He DOES have a Transmigrator Halo, even if it is attached to the scum villain) SY is honestly shocked by how concerned(?) SJ is when packing his meager possessions. (No Jiu-ge (ew) no one has ever harmed him or touched him wtf would make you think they had?? He's baby??) It takes some time for glaciers to melt and for SJ to let SY in, but SY was raised around kind jiejies who taught him to be better than their worst clients and SJ feels safe around this little brat in a way he can't explain (SJ has had SY for five minutes but if anything happens to him SJ is taking out the entire mountain and then himself) YQY has NO idea how to react when SJ first returns with his brother, but he doesn't hesitate to smooth the way for SY's discipleship and watches from afar as SJ begins to finally let someone in, even if it's not him
SQH keeps telling Airplane he needs to work on his muttering to himself, that it's going to get him in trouble (bro you don't even know) but for once it's in his favor because SY overhears him just enough while YQY is sorting his shit out on arrival and suddenly they're just two spidermen pointing at each other on the peak
Cue the shenanigans of two hometown boys who have no bearing on the plot at all and are just along for the ride while their siblings handle the peaks. Anytime Qing Ding and An Ding need to work together on missions, these two volunteer and confuse the hell out of their martial siblings every step of the way
SJ does not trust the little logistics rat anywhere near his didi and glowers like an alley cat anytime Airplane is around (SQH is right, ofc. His brother IS weird and SJ does not trust it)
SQH meanwhile takes note of his weird didi's sudden and first friendship with SY and immediately starts keeping tabs on this kid because clearly Airplane's seerhood has steered him to SY for a reason, must keep note
The first time LQG makes any sort of fuss about SJ going to a brothel, SY forgets everything he's learned at the sect as Little Brother Mode⢠activates to defend not only SJ but his jiejies too. (Fists are thrown. Hair is pulled. He might have bitten his shixiong, he can't say. He sort of blacked out for a minute there) Needless to say there isn't a second time and LQG has an hour long argument with his shizun about trying to poach SY for Bai Zhan peak while nursing a black eye (Airplane just side eying the GREMLIN that transmigrated here like bro wtf)
Before LBH even steps foot on the mountain, both their Systems ping about the incoming protagonist and it's not that they, you know, forgot about the story but they were distracted. Between finding each other and actually weirdly coming to care for these NPCs they... lost track of time
But the System pings and LBH enters the scene and SY refuses to let Airplane's work repeat itself (we're making your notes canon bro stfu and follow my lead. (what lead??? what plan??) I'm working on it!!)
It's a 50/50 crap shoot if SYs favoritism of bby!Binghe endears him to SJ or spikes up the resentment, but SY refuses to let harm come to LBH or for SJ to become the scum villain (someone is yelling, it might be SJ, it might be SY, it might be Binghe who doesn't want Shizun and Shixiong fighting over him)
On the other side of the plot, SQH is still a little snitch, even with his didi's visions guiding him to unprecedented success - but it's more than betraying the sect, more than wanting power and recognition. Seers are insanely powerful, highly sought after. Bringing Airplane to the sect protected him for awhile but SQH can't let him become a target. So when the OG meets MBJ, all his calculations come to a single unfortunate answer: throw your lot in with the biggest fish to protect Airplane (no one else can understand how weird his brother is because if they do his brother will end up dead)
Flash forward to when Airplane is squinting at his brother wearing fur collars year round, always running a little bit chilly for unknown reasons but refusing to see MQF about it. Airplane insists on SQH letting him check his meridians if he won't see MQF and SQH relents, puts his wrist in Airplane's hand, and squawks like a goddamn chicken when Airplane yanks his arm and tugs down his collar to reveal the mark of MBJ on his collarbone and SQH is once again met with that dead eyed 'bro do not fuck with me' stare
SQH does not question how Airplane knows, he just insists on Airplane staying far far away from MBJ (he might work for the demon, but he certainly does not trust him)
Of course Airplane defies all reason and knows the exact secret rendezvous point SQH uses (he did not suffer puberty twice to be denied seeing his most precious creation in the flesh, gege) and is spotted spying on the spy almost instantly by MBJ who is just holding him by his scruff and looking between a wide eyed Airplane and a barely-restrained-panicked peak lord like 'why oh why are there two of them'
Cue a full stand off between a demon and peak lord, ice knives at SQH's throat, a blade hovering at MBJ's heart, and Airplane just held like a kitten between them like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that SOMEHOW ends with MBJ rationalizing 'ah this weird mouse is important to my viper of a spy - if I want to keep the viper loyal, I will protect this mouse'
Which throws the Sheng brothers into a mess that neither of them know how to deal with. SQH thinks he needs to continue to be excessively useful to keep Airplane safe. Airplane can't let MBJ know he's his brother's best source or the demon might cut out the middle man. (Meanwhile somewhere MBJ just out here planning to court this weird little mouse to tie SQH's loyalties to him)
Whatever circumstances causes the Abyss plotline to trigger, SY 500% throws himself in after Binghe leaving SJ partially feral because his didi is in danger, Airplane CONCERNED, and SQH just casually like 'oh that's why my brother was interested in him, interesting' not at all realizing no, SY is likely just about to become his boss(-brother-in-law)'s boss's consort - whoops! whoops! whoops!
#svsss#svsss sibling au#moshang#bingqiu#i saw the art of the shang brothers and my mind hasnt shut up about it#but I also dont have the will to do a fic rn#so here are my airplane rambling notes lmao
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