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wehavebiggerproblems · 3 years

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Fallout 4 Random Companion Headcanons

Wrote these a few years ago, too nervous then to share them.

Ada

-Ada was built in 2268. She's about 21 years old.

-Her first memory is of seeing The Mechanist in front of her. Then she watched as The Mechanist removed their head and smiled.

-She's Isabel's first project.

-Her voice was originally supposed to be more synthesized and robotic, but the more human sound was easier for Isabel to work with.

-Ada prefers to travels in groups with 3-4 people, knowing fully well a robot is a higher target for scavvers.

- Her base body was constructed from many different trial runs of the "ADA" project.

-She's programmed to remain indifferent but the nagging voice in her programming says to do good things in order to to aid other people.

-Ada appreciates the effort Sole goes through to upgrade her body. She doesn't think it's necessary and she's somewhat sentimental about her original form.

-She finds Codsworth's attachment to Sole strange. Almost too human, those Mr. Handy's.

Cait

-Cait loves baths. Bubble baths with bath bombs and even a little rubber ducky. Only Sole knows this.

-The rubber ducky's name is Codsworth. Will not explain why.

-Can fire a rifle over her shoulder behind her. (Annie Oakley style)

-Hates Jazz music. Says it's too slow and calm. Really dislikes it because she's uncomfortable slow dancing with anyone.

-Allergic to feathers. Rad chickens make her sick to be around.

-But once the feathers are removed, the chicken has been cut up, and cooked with some veggies and a loaf of bread, loves it.

-Chicken soup is her favourite dish. Only likes Sole's chicken soup though. Will not eat anyone else’s.

-Shot put would be her favourite sport. Throwing a heavy metal sphere a very long distance is goals.

Codsworth

-Codsworth can speak 8 languages. Including: English, Spanish, French, Japanese, German, Italian, Polish, and Swedish.

-Can recognize almost every written language and translate but lacks the programming to speak every one.

-Nate/Nora got him two years before Shaun was born.

-Sole did minimal repair work on him, and offered to polish him every time he got a dent or scratch.

-He always accepted the polish offer. Very wary of Sole doing factory repairs on him. Would prefer professionals doing the delicate work.

-Always celebrated Nate/Nora and Sole’s respective birthdays. For 200 years.

-When Sole called him "Family", he felt an odd electric pulse through his core processor. He decided to call it a skipped heart beat.

-Calls synth Shaun "Sonny", and "Young Master Shaun".

-Makes Sole's favourite meal when they come back home from Vault 111.

-Will ask to take over if he catches Sole doing chores.

-Hesitates when he has to bring up Sole's spouse knowing it's a touchy subject.

-His favourite friend of Sole's is Nick. Thinks Nick is a good role model for synth Shaun.

Curie

-Curie, like Codsworth can speak 8 languages. However, after becoming a synth, she can only speak about 4.

-Curie loves the feeling of velvet. Collects pieces of velvet clothing.

-Once wore a velvet cape around because she loved the way it draped over her shoulders and fluttered when she walked.

-Has sensory phases. Music, nice noises, soft materials, different foods, perfumes, etc. Collects whatever makes her senses happy.

-During the "feeling phase" her favourite feeling was holding Sole's hand. Loved running her hand over the surface of water. And velvet.

-Talks out what her feelings are with Piper. Piper explains to her what the "spin spin spin" in her head meant.

-Favourite smell is fresh baked bread. Bakes bread with Mama Murphy every weekend.

-Favourite sweet food is mutfruit pie. Will badger Piper to make it with her.

-Curie's motor functions are still new. Sometimes she misses what she was trying to grab and fumbles.

Danse

-Danse is a horrid mechanic. You'd think spending time in the BoS and dedicating time to auto repair with Ingram. Can't put a toaster together.

-But Power Armor is a piece of cake. Can't do much with pre-war tech, yet fixing power armor is as easy as making breakfast.

-Like all gen 3 synths, he loves Fancy Lad snack cakes. He'd share whatever box he'd find with the squires around the Prydwen.

-Scribe Haylen would volunteer to work alongside Danse on all his scouting missions.

-Danse found out Deacon was the one who stuck the dildo to his power armor. He made sure Deacon's wigs were the same bright purple color the very next day.

-Loves country music. When a traveling courier stops by and shares their western/country music, he actually dances.

-Has a heart for kids. Even Billy.

-Leg bouncing habit. Can't bounce his leg in power armor but as soon as he's out, his leg's jittering.

Deacon

-Deacon is in his late 40's.

-Did not lie about his wife and the University Point Deathclaws.

-Enjoys learning about Pre-war culture, spends free time with ghouls asking them about the past.

-Sole can fool him easily about prewar facts though.

-Has incredible luck with the pie claw game. Has won 8 times while traveling with Sole.

-Loves making silly bets. "I bet I can skip this plate across the lake at least 1 time." Proceeds to throw the plate at the water horizontally.

-Doesn't hate Danse. He will pull pranks on him though. Once stuck a dildo on the back of Danse's power armour.

-His hair grows quickly so he has to shave every day.

-Shaves his head, isn't bald. Shaved head works better with his pompadour wig.

-Doesn't like mutfruit. Says it's too acidic and hurts his gums.

-Has a rifle-shaped scar on his forearm. Will tell a different story for it every time.

-Once drank a dozen Nuka Cola Quantums on a dare. His pee glowed for a week.

-Tried going vegetarian once. ONCE. Found out being vegetarian means eating no meat or dairy products. Had to have Sole explain that, while gross, radroach could technically be considered meat.

-Is kinda clumsy. Always bumps into counter edges and stubs his toes on bits of debris.

-Doesn't lie about his family. And when Sole calls him family, promises to never lie about family again.

Gage

-Gage juggled skii balls to entertain the last Overboss, Colter.

-He enjoys small shooting competitions with MacCready, Sole, and X6. All four are sharp shooters.

-Fastest learner. Spent an entire week learning how to cook Sole's old recipes. He can cook them better than anyone with the exception of Codsworth.

-Hums when he works.

-Had a one night stand with Nisha. Ended so bad, he avoids that area of the park at all costs.

-Hates cats. Had an awful run in with a rad lion. Radiated Mountain Lion that tore a scar deep down his back.

-Does routine maintenance on the rides in the park. He knows how everything works there. From social hierarchy - to the intricacies of the Vault Tec: Among the Stars ride.

-His favourite flavour of Nuka Cola is Nuka Cola Victory. Rare to find but easily the best.

-Record farthest shot is a bean can from 410 meters.

-He's a lightweight. Only two beers and he's buzzed enough to sing along with Red-Eye.

-Will tell a different story every time if anyone asks about the eye patch.

Hancock

-Hancock is a history buff. Loves learning about colonial era civilization.

-Has spent days with Kent Connolly researching Silver Shroud information. He knows more about the Silver Shroud than any other companion.

-Has had a fling with every person in Goodneighbor at least once. Even Kleo.

-At least in a sexual way, he is extremely open minded. Welcomes new experiences and new information given anywhere anytime.

-Had a decent childhood with his brother. He remembers tending to the mutfruit trees with him and eating every other piece they picked.

-Adores pickles. Would sit and eat an entire jar of pickles just because he loves the cronch so much.

-All time favourite chem is Mentats. Loves making intellectual jokes while high as a kite.

-Does not know what a lot of pre-war expressions mean, but enjoys saying them and hearing them from Sole.

-Is a master at repairing clothing. How else does the frock stay in such good condition? He tends to it every night.

-As far as euphemisms for ghouls go, he likes "beef jerky".

Longfellow

-Longfellow met Hannah while out hunting. She blasted a trapper's head clean off, and he fell harder than the trapper's body.

-He spent his youth training, hoping to become a Brotherhood soldier one day.

-And then he met a vertibird full of them. They called Far Harbor a dump while gathering supplies there. Officially decided to cease all training.

-Managed to take down 17 Mirelurks in 3 minutes.

-Holds the record in Acadia for alcohol consumption. All records involving alcohol consumption.

-He's really fit? Longfellow could and has bench pressed Sole.

-He only did so because Hancock and MacCready wouldn't shut up about it.

-Loves singing old shanty songs and dancing with Sole. Only when no one else is around though.

-After the events at Far Harbor, he decides to go sailing along the coast. Wants to see the world more.

MacCready

-MacCready does brush his teeth. He brushes his teeth regularly. He started brushing after he left Little Lamplight. By that point the damage was already done.

-Lucy was the one to convince him to brush his teeth.

-He can't stand the smell of lavender. Lavender candles, lavender lotion, etc...makes him feel nauseous.

-He named his sniper rifle, "Lucy"

-Won't drink brahmin milk with cereal even to Sole's encouragement.

-Is very well read. Vault 87 had many educational textbooks hidden among the super mutants.

-MacCready was the longest lasting mayor in L.L. He was mayor for 6 years.

-He has no idea what television is and is afraid to ask any pre-wars about it.

-Wary of all ghouls, both feral and normal. He's not bias to non-ferals, but he is a little uncomfortable.

-Had a crush on Lone Wanderer when they first visited L.L. Mac told Joseph and he made fun of him.

Nick

-Nick has an oral fixation. Smokes out of habit and having the familiar feeling of a cigarette between his lips feeds into human nostalgia.

-His right hand is missing skin because he fidgets only his right. Whether it was picking at the fraying plastic or rubbing the fake skin raw.

-He lost the chunk of neck skin after Myrna accused him of working for the Institute. Tore off a chunk to prove he wasn't a perfect person or an infiltrator synth.

-Ellie was the first person in Diamond City to wholly accept Nick as he is. She asked to work with him as soon as he decided to stay.

-Piper and Nick have jam sessions where they have heavy debates about Diamond City law enforcement and criminal misuse of power in the capitalistic society of pre-war USA.

-Met Dogmeat under an overpass. He handed the dog a snack cake and scratched his head. They've been close pals ever since.

-Will "sleep" around Sole. He'll lay down and manually put himself into "sleep mode". Any unnecessary functions will shut down. He lets his thoughts take over. All Sole hears is the faintest fan whir.

Piper

-Piper plans Sole's 211th birthday. She goes all out, collects balloons, bakes several cakes with Codsworth, makes everyone attend and threatens anyone who would act up. "It's Blue's first birthday out here, you WILL behave!"

-Knows how to make mutfruit preserves, mutfruit pie, mutfruit jam and jelly. Makes it for Nat constantly.

-Has a notebook dedicated to little tidbits of info about Sole.

-Nat is exactly 8 years, 5 months, and 25 days younger than Piper.

-Piper has interviewed every person in Diamond City. Made a game of it with Nat at first, then she just kept going with it.

-Piper has awful shorthand. Almost as bad as Curie's shorthand. Still illegible.

-Piper's handwriting is so bad, Nat does the writing for the paper. Piper writes the final draft and Nat copies it, and sends it through the printing press.

-Despite bad handwriting, Piper is very eloquent. Can make a super mutant sound like good date idea or convince anyone how the mayor might actually be a synth.

-Her favourite of Sole's friends is Kent Connolly. Would gladly dress up and act out Silver Shroud episodes with him and Sole.

Preston

-Preston has insomnia. Cannot sleep well. Has had insomnia since Quincy.

-Can sleep well if he's sleeping beside someone.

-Has a box under his bed of little knick-knacks children have given him over the years. Can't bear to get rid of the kid's gifts.

-He actually likes all of Sole's friends. Even Strong.

-Hates coconut. Once found an Almond-Joy while scaving and couldn't finish it to save his life.

-All time favourite candy is Peanut Brittle. Hard to find but gnawing on the hard chunks is somewhat soothing to him.

-Loves back rubs. Giving and receiving but only from close friends or lovers.

-Once accidently drank a bottle of perfume. MacCready told him it was a bottle of fancy expensive wine.

-Sturges and Preston are the closest of friends, no less maybe more.

Strong

-Strong knows how to jump rope.

-But double dutch is a mystery.

-Before Sole, he only ate meat raw. Sole taught him how to cook it.

-Also lacks patience to cook, but slowly learning.

-Strong was created in Vault 87 after the bombs dropped but remembers nothing from being human.

-Doesn't understand bubblegum. Will always swallow it after a few seconds of chewing.

-Likes having poetry and plays read to him.

-Sleeps holding Sole or having Sole laying across his stomach.

-Loves fire. The smell, the feeling of heat against his hardened skin, the taste of charred meat, and watching the embers fly up and turn to ash.

-Strong can read, but chooses not to because super mutants discourage any educational behavior.

-Likes the sound of clacking keys on a terminal. He'll turn one on and mess around with the keyboard just to hear the different sounds each key makes.

-He can't decide if hand-to-hand combat is better than using guns.

X6-88

-X6 doesn't like using plasma. He thinks the plasma is less accurate.

-But laser weapons are his jam.

-Spends excessive amount of time augmenting his weapon.

-If Sole helped, he would be "happy". Would never say it, but a tiny smirk would pop up on his face for half a second.

-Will collect Fancy Lad Snack Cakes. Hoards them in his bedroom in Sanctuary and in the Institute.

-Sole found his stash and X6 blushed for the first time when they confronted him.

-He called Sole "Mom" instead of Ma'am once. She won't let him live it down.

-He called Sole "Dad" after hearing Shaun call him "Dad" all day. He won't let him live it down.

-Actually likes kids. Won't show emotions, get down to their level, or speak to kids. But he doesn't hate children.

-Especially likes synth Shaun. He taught synth Shaun how to use a laser pistol. Shaun found out and put X6 on probation for a month.

Bonus Vault Tec Rep and Kent Connolly under the cut.

Vault Tec Rep

-Rep spent a couple decades learning how to draw. Loves drawing from life. Mostly draws people. Occasionally draws ferals, mutants, and various animals.

-Was engaged before the war, lasted about 2 years before she died of cancer.

-His favorite food was and still is a well grilled medium rare steak.

-A total neat freak. Every space he uses as a homestead has to be thoroughly cleaned of any bacteria, ticks, dust, dirt, radiation residue, etc

-Teased in school for his red hair. "Rusty" was his least favorite nickname.

-He's extremely susceptible to pet names. Doesn't have to be anything sexual or romantic, just pet names. He blushes like a starstruck starlet.

-Loves love. Romance and old-timey corny love stories. He like to woo his partner. Flowers, chocolate, dancing, movie dates, hand written poems, you name it.

-He misses his old red hair. Years of being a brunette and he's a little bitter about his hair.

-Least favourite part of The Wasteland is amount of bodies he sees on a daily basis. He saw about zero bodies a day on average before the war. Even in Goodneighbor, the average has risen to about 4 bodies a week.

-Favourite part of The Wasteland is the ability to just go anywhere. After realizing he didn't have any obligation to stay any specific place, he just traveled around for a few decades.

-His father worked for Vault-Tec, and when he graduated high school, he was given a job immediately.

-Didn't hate it. Didn't love it at first, but he had a real knack for selling.

-He never had an office in Boston HQ. He got the van, and got a sweet bonus for being top salesman, but never his own office.

-Despite being top salesman, he was only allowed on the first and second floors. He didn't find out till after the bombs dropped that the basement and third floor up had the plans for the various vaults in the area.

-He can't apologize enough to Sole. After thinking on it and checking out vault 111 by himself, he truly feels sorry for what happened.

-Sole gets him a set of steak knives for Christmas. They're homemade by Sole. They tell him he's earned far more than a knife set, but if that's what he's pining for...

-He treasures it so much, he rarely uses them. Just before he leaves for work in the morning, he checks them over and admires them.

-He and Sole have spent days just telling each other pre war stories. He almost knows more about Sole than Piper does. And he's a little proud of that fact.

-He gets along best with, of all people, Deacon. Good sense of humour and always interested in pre-war info.

-Second best is Piper. A nice lady who snoops too much, but does treat everyone with respect and tries to remain unbiased.

Kent Connolly

-Kent was 23 when the bombs dropped.

-He was sleeping in on the Saturday morning when he heard the air raid sirens.

-Hid in his house's basement till the sirens stopped.

-And then the radiation sickness took over.

-It took him about 3 months to turn ghoulish. Quicker than most.

-He dislikes Goodneighbor - the town as a whole. The people are fine, the resources are serviceable, and the safety assured is nice. But he hates how back alley it feels.

-Misses his family the most. They weren't the best, but they made him feel loved and important.

-Speaking of which, Kent had a huge family. I'm talking brothers, sisters, cousins for days, aunts, uncles...he remembers family reunions as huge gatherings chock full of food and kids running amuck.

-Maybe, just maybe, he enjoys seeing Sole all dressed like Shroud a little too much. He's a big fan.

-Once spent 4 grand on a mint condition Issue no. 3 Silver Shroud comic just to find out it was a forgery. Never got that refund. :(

-Writes really well. But only writes Silver Shroud fanfiction. Piper almost convinced him to help write an article about how crime differed before the war and after the war. But he turned her down.

-Nick has agreed to dress up as Shroud if Sole dresses up like Grognak or Mistress of Mystery. But only if Sole dresses up too.

-Irma refers to him as her son. Amari will not say the same, but she also doesn't protest.

-He used to work in comic book shop. (Of course he did.)

-He writes self insert Silver Shroud fanfiction all the time. After the events at the hospital with Sinjin, the Shroud in his fanfictions suddenly start using Sole's pronouns and is described as physically similar as Sole.

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write-orflight · 4 years

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Trouble: Chapter 4

*Gif not mine*

Pairings: HotchxReader

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Rating: M

Words: 3.8K

Warnings: SMUT, Oral sex(male receiving), fingering, choking, slight degradation, dom/sub overtones. mention of past rape/abuse. witch shit.

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: After Haley’s passing, Aaron Hotchner has lost the light in his eyes. He seems to find it it the most unlikely of places, an occult themed coffee shop ran by a witch.

A.N: If you don’t like smut, i’d skip some paragraphs but not the whole thing because there’s some major plot points. Tarot, wicca, and crystal information is very secondhand if you see any inaccuracies, no you don’t.

Chapter 4: I been facing trouble almost all my life

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Hotch asks, immediately standing when he heard the crash of the phone.

You couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t tell hotch about that period of your life, you guys just got to the place you wanted to be at for quite some time. Charlie couldn’t do this to you again, you couldn’t let him fuck more of your life up.

“Oh nothing, butter fingers sorry.” You say, plastering a smile on. Hotch doesn’t believe you, you can tell he doesn’t but he doesn’t ask questions either.

After talking for another hour, Hotch kisses you goodbye, knowing somethings off but not saying anything. You head upstairs and relieve Silena of her duties, promising her details of the night tomorrow. Once you see her out, you instantly crawl into your daughter’s bed.

“Mama?” She says groggily.

“Yea honey, it’s me.”

She nods sleepily before laying her head on your chest. You run your hands through her hair watching her sleep for a spell.

Charlie couldn’t take this from you.

You won’t let him.

—————————————

It’s been a couple months since the phone call and things were honestly going good, scary good. Business was booming, a famous blogger had stumbled upon your shop by accident and posted about it since then you and Silena seemed to have your hands so full with hipsters and entitled elitists that you needed a full time sitter. You didn’t like it but money was money.

You and Hotch were also doing good. He finally took you on that date, which was dinner at a small Italian restaurant. He looked at you in shock as you rattled off the menu items in perfect pronunciation. You just shrugged explaining that you worked at an Italian bakery through college, which is where you learned the language and most of the recipes you used in the shop today.

Both of you didn’t account for weather though and as soon as you left the restaurant it began to pour. Hotch gave you his suit jacket to cover your hair as the two of you bolted across the parking lot to his car. The original plan was to just wait out the rain until it was safe enough for you to both drive home but what ended up happening was the two of you making out like teenagers in the backseat of his car.

It’s been about two months since then and while he’s gone a lot on cases he seems to still make time for you and, by proxy, Artie. The weekends the both of you had free were spent at the park with your kids who got along swimmingly. Artemis had the same personality as you in that sense, nice and outgoing. It was no surprise that she’d befriended Jack in a matter of days despite his shy demeanor.

You were still worried about Charlie. You tried not to be but you couldn’t help it. You had already moved multiple times because of him you couldn’t do it again. You had the shop, Artie was finally at that age where she was old enough to remember so she needed stability and now you had Aaron, who had already lost so much you couldn’t be another thing he lost. So you issued a new deal that gave any law enforcement officer 50% off a coffee order. Was it the best for your bank in the long run? No, but it gave you and Artie the protection you needed so he wouldn’t think of trying anything. That didn’t stop the threatening notes and phone calls though despite everything.

You had finally decided though you weren’t going to run. Not this time.

------------------------------------

You’d never been inside the FBI building before and until today you never had an excuse to. But since Artie was with her sitter all day and you had the time you decided you’d take a long lunch and come see Hotch.

You got off the elevator 2 carriers of coffee in tow, figuring it’d be rude to bring Hotch something and not the others. As you walk into the bullpen the first person to take notice of you is Spencer.

“Hey, Y/N. What’re you doing here?”

“I thought I’d surprise Hotch with lunch and you guys with coffee.” You smile, handing the coffee carriers to him as he makes grabby hands at them. You take out the two cups you knew were yours and Aaron’s. “Where is his office?”

Spencer points to the catwalk above you. “Upstairs, his door is the open one.” You mouth your thanks as you head up the stairs and into the opened door of the office, rapping quietly on the door to announce your presence. Hotch looks up annoyed but when he sees it's you his face softens a bit. He gestures to the phone he’s talking into and a chair for you to sit and wait. You close the door behind you and walk in silently placing the cup you brought in with you in front of him silently. He gives you a gracious look while you sit quietly in the chair across from him as he finishes his conversation.

You’d never seen Hotch at work so you’ve seen him like this. You always knew he had an authoritative energy, but you’ve never seen him like this in his element, in charge. Your eyes slowly pan up the charcoal suit he was wearing, broad chest and shoulders ridged with stress. You watched his stern expression get more annoyed by whoever he was on the phone with as he blew heavy exasperated breaths through his nose.

He was angry. You could tell.

But for some reason it was incredibly hot to you.

“I’m not compromising when it comes to my team, now Goodbye.” He said, angrily slamming the phone into the receiver. He pinches the bridge of his nose, obviously frustrated. You decide to lean forward placing your fingers in the aforementioned hand. He instantly looks up and fully laces your hands together, pulling your hand up so he could kiss the swell of your knuckles.

“Hey, dove.” Your heart swells a bit at the pet name, still not fully used to the development of your relationship despite being together for months. “What’re you doing here?”

“The shop was pretty slow and Malia is watching Bean. I figured I’d take a long lunch to come see you. Is it a bad time?” You ask.

“I’ll always make time for you.” He says. Hotch didn’t have many regrets but one of the major gut-wrenching ones was the fact that he drove Hayley away and made her feel unloved because he couldn’t tear himself away from work. And while you were very understanding, in fact much more understanding and patient than she was, he wasn’t going to do that ever again.

“You’re angry though.” You say, stating the obvious.

“I was.”

“Can I ask why?”

“It’s just… my boss doesn’t like me very much and because of that she puts the team under unneeded scrutiny.” He sighs, waving his hand. “I don’t want to bore you with that though, how was your day?”

You shrug. “You know it’s just coffee, so uneventful. And you don’t bore me, if something’s stressing you out, I wanna hear about it.” You look him in the eye, thumb moving over his knuckles. “I wanna help.”

Hotch sighs again. “It’s just, when Hayley was killed my judgement was clouded for a while. I was angry and I was taking unnecessary risks that were ultimately damaging to the team. I realize that now but not soon enough because Strauss is still on me about everything. And I’m trying to work on my anger about stuff like that but obviously when my abilities as a leader are questioned every 5 minutes, it’s hard.”

You ran your thumb up and down his knuckles the whole time he ranted. You get up to circle his desk before standing in front of his chair, leaning back against the edge of the desk “Can I give you something?” You ask.

“If it’s another rock, I’m going to have to get a chest to put them all at some point, having them on my desk is taking up space now.” He laughs.

“I think we’ve established it’s always going to be a rock, Aaron.” You reach into your pocket. “I actually carry this on me all the time and maybe it’ll help you too. This is raw aquamarine. Because it’s water based it’s used for it’s cooling energy. Sometimes to calm anger, sometimes to provide wisdom in conflict.” Aaron holds out his left palm, knowing the drill by now. “Please be used as a conduit of peace.” You say, before handing the stone to him.

“Thank you, dove.” He says, placing the crystal next to the others. “You said you carry this one all the time?”

“Yea.”

“Why?”

You sigh. “I used to have a really bad anger problem. Raw aquamarine helped me with it?”

“You...had an anger problem?” He said, extremely confused. “You? I’ve never even seen you angry.”

“That’s because you haven’t done anything but make me happy, Mr. Hotchner.” You smile, leaning down to kiss him which he instantly reciprocates. “Also, you haven’t seen me drive, I have real bad road rage.” You laugh.

“Well, thank you for the stone. I don’t think it’ll help my situation but it’s worth a shot.” He says.

“Well, there is another way to absolve some of your anger.”

“And what’s that?” He asks.

“You could take it out on someone.” You say, looking him directly in the eye. You notice his pupils darken extremely. “I don’t mind.”

“When do you have to go back to the shop?” He asks, standing from the chair so he’s towered over you now, the desk still blocking you from being able to back away from him.

“I have another 45-50 minutes before Silena calls.” You look back at him innocently.

“Lock the door and close the blinds, please.” He says, you don’t have to be told twice before you are squirming from under him to do just that. Once you do that you look back at Hotch who is gesturing for you to come closer which you do.

“Are you sure you want this, dove? I know we haven’t done anything like this yet.” He asks you, you nod fast. “And you’ll tell me the second I do something that makes you uncomfortable?”

“Yes, Aaron.” You say, practically whining. “Please, I need you.”

Aaron instantly sweeps you into a deep passionate kiss that’s already leaving you groaning as his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip. He presses impossibly close to you and you feel him erect against your side. His hands travel up your sides and under your shirt slipping a hand into your bra, unhooking it before toying with your nipple. You moan loudly as his lips trail down your jaw sucking bite marks into your neck.

“Fuck, look at you.” He says, lowly in your ears. “Already so desperate and loud for me when I’ve barely touched you.” You can’t help moan at that too, touching him everywhere your hands can reach. “I’m going to have to shut you up somehow, huh?” He says, you whimper slightly and he grins, devilishly at you. “Get on your knees for me, baby.” He says, and you nod fast before settling on your knees for the man before you.

For a minute he just looks at you, studying you as if this was going to be the only time he’d see you like this. You watch him with hooded eyes as his hands go to his belt buckle and fly, revealing himself to you. You’re agape for a second trying not to drool he was certainly bigger than you’ve ever had. He tilts your chin up slightly so you can look him in the eye easily.

“You want to make me feel good, right?” He says, you nod. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes, Sir.” You say, breathy.

“Then do so.” He says, you nod before grabbing his member in your hand. Flattening your tongue to lick up the underside. He groans, grabbing the side of your head, pushing himself further into the warm heat of your mouth. He goes slow at first, testing the waters, trying to make sure you won’t freak out on him but soon enough he hears and more importantly he feels you moan. He grips your hair tighter before more forcefully shoving himself into your mouth. You have no choice but to flatten your tongue and take the assault, squeezing your legs together for some form of friction.

“Look at you, so desperate to please. You wanna make me cum, dove?” He says, voice straining as he nears his end. You answer his question by sucking him harder, inducing a groan from the man. You start to feel him twitch on your tongue. “Fuck yes, that’s my good girl. Take it all.” He says, releasing himself into the back of your throat. You swallow quickly before leaning back on your knees looking up at him putting himself back in his slacks.

“Come here.” He says, you stand up instantly and he cups your jaw, kissing you harshly before moving you until you’re seated on the edge of his desk. He reattaches his lips to your neck automatically going for that spot behind your ear you can’t help the groan that leaves you as you feel one of his hands undoing your pants. He doesn’t waste any time undressing you, just brings his hand into pants, cupping your heat.

“You’re so wet for me already, dove?” He runs a finger up your slit before pressing inside you. A gasp that dissolves into a loud moan rips through your body. He grabs your jaw roughly with his other hand so you’ll meet his lips. His tongue running over the roof of your mouth as he slipped a second finger inside of you, curling slightly to hit that spot inside of you every thrust. You try to keep quiet but the moans and whimpers keep slipping out involuntarily. Aaron’s hand moves from your jaw to your neck, tightening slightly.

“If you can’t keep quiet, I’m going to stop.” He says, looking deep into your eye as his thumb circles your clit. Your eyes roll back at the sensation. “You want everyone to hear you? Hear how desperate and needy you are for me?” You shake your head as much as you can with his tight grip around your throat. Trying to keep quiet as you felt yourself coming close to the edge. “No, I think you do. If we had the time, I’d bend you over this desk and fuck you like the needy slut you are. You’d want that wouldn’t you, dove? You want me to fill you up?”

You nod, hips moving fast to meet his hand. “Yes, Sir.” You say, brokenly as you approached the edge. Hotch groans in response, hand tightening around your throat again.

“Fuck, next time, Angel.” He says, thrusting his fingers faster now. “Now I need you to cum, Princess. Go ahead, let go.” You bite down on your own hand to keep quiet as your orgasm washes through you then, not knowing you were waiting on permission. Hotch rides you through it, only withdrawing when he hears you whine. He instantly pulls his fingers up to the seam of your lips, you open your mouth, inviting him in. He groans as he watches you suck them into your mouth, tongue rolling over them. He kisses you the second he pulls his fingers out.

“Are you okay?” He whispers. “I hope I wasn’t too rough on you.”

You shake your head, picking up your bra and shirt to put them back on. “No, I’m fine. You were great.” You say, leaning up to peck his cheek.

“Good, because I’m not done with you yet.” He says, with a dark look.

You pout. “I’ve gotta get back to the shop, Gus.”

“Can I come see you tonight then?” He asks, you nod, smiling. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

You stop in your tracks for a second. “We didn’t think this through, did we?” You say. “Everyone on your team is going to know exactly what we did.”

“Most likely, but I don’t care.” He smiles, pecking you on the cheek before opening the door holding your hand as you guys walk toward the elevator.

“I do.” You mumble, he only laughs at you.

Later, you walk into the shop, hair that was down before now in a tight bun. You didn’t even bother trying to cover up the marks on your neck. It wasn’t like you had anything to cover it with and it was way too hot for scarves. Silena looks up from the book she was reading. Smirking when she sees your disheveled appearance.

“Have a good lunch?” She says.

You flush, walking back to put your apron on. “Yea, i-it was fine.” You paused before looking at her. “Your reading was right.” You say, inducing loud cackles from your best friend.

-----------------------------------------------------

Since you left, Hotch was having trouble thinking of anything that wasn’t you. After he saw how beautiful you looked losing control under him he knew he needed to see more. See just how much he could break you. He was just about getting ready to leave work when he got the call.

“SSA Hotchner speaking. Who is this?” He says, he didn’t recognize the number on the screen.

“Hey Hotch, This is Silena. I work with Y/N at HG.”

“I know who you are Silena, what’s wrong?” He says, knowing something had to be up for her to be calling him.

“Umm nothing yet, it’s just… Y/N’s ex is here and is camping in front of the store, I assume to catch her while she’s leaving… he’s not a good dude.” Hotch could make out some crashing behind her and someone he could only assume was Y/n yelling in very angry italian. “I just thought maybe if you came and flashed the badge a bit he’ll leave her alone.” he hears more yelling and crashing. “And you could save your girlfriend from a murder charge. Win-win.”

“I’m on my way.” He says.

“Great, come to the back door please.” Silena says hanging up.

Hotch knocks tentatively when he arrives at the back door, Silena lets him in with a small smile.

“Thanks for coming, Hotch.” We’re hiding out in the kitchen right now but he’s still banging on the front door. Luckily, we already locked for close so he couldn’t just walk in.” She says leading him to the kitchen where he sees you aggressively beating some dough. He looks back at Silena confused. “She’s pissed, sorry.”

“This is fucking ridicous!” You yell. “Lo fa sempre, cazzo. quel ratto bastardo! Non posso vivere un giorno in una fottuta pace. Lo ucciderò, cazzo.” (He always fucking does this. that rat bastard. I can't live one day in fucking peace. I'm going to fucking kill him.)

You turn and see Hotch who is looking back at you concerned. You level your angry gaze to Sil now. “I told you not to fucking call him.” You seeth. “You said you were calling Mike.”

“Yea, but I figured it’d be better if I called Hotch since he’s an actual Agent and Charlie will probably listen if he said fuck off.”

“I didn’t want you to call anyone. I wanted to handle it myself.”

“Yea by killing him. Which I’m obviously not going to let you do. You have a shop and daughter to worry about.”

“Un motivo in più per ucciderlo, cazzo! Non posso lasciarlo vicino a mia figlia!” (All the more reason to fucking kill him! I can't let him near my daughter)

“Hotch, can you please handle it so we can just go home?” Silena pleads with him. He gives you another worried look before walking out the front of the store. Where he sees a disgruntled poor shaped man banging on the front door.

Hotch opens the door slightly so the man could hear him “The shop is closed.” He says.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man spits. Instead of answering, Hotch just pulls out his badge.

“Since the shop is closed, you’re trespassing. I suggest you leave.”

“Look, I don’t know who the fuck you are. But I know that whore is in there and I’m not leaving until she comes out.”

As if on cue, you come out despite Silena trying very hard to hold you back, brandishing a rolling pin as a makeshift weapon.

“Get the fuck off my property, Charlie.”

“Where’s my kid, Y/N?”

“You don’t have a fucking kid! I have a kid!”

“I’m her father, I have a right to see her.”

“Vedrai prima le porte dell'inferno prima che ti permetta di avvicinarti a mia figlia!” (You will sooner see the gates of hell before I let you near my daughter!)

“You need to leave.” Aaron says, practically bodying the man out of the shop.

“I hope this shitshow shop is doing well because I’ll just take you to court, Y/N.” He yells while leaving.

“Oh yea, take me to court, stronzo! Let’s see what they decide. The mother with a successful business who raised her, or an abusive drunk!” You yell after him. “Fuck!” You yell, throwing the rolling pin deep into the shop thankfully not hitting anyone but putting a small dent into one of your paintings.

“Can you believe that fucking asshole wants to take me to court! Me?! I’m the one who should’ve taken him years ago if i wasn’t so fucking afraid.” You kick a chair over. “You shouldn’t have stopped me, I should’ve killed him.”

“Y/N, calm down. You don’t know what you're saying.” Aaron says. “It especially isn’t something you should be saying in front of an agent.”

“Considering you actually fucking killed the man who killed your ex-wife, you have no right to judge me for saying I want to kill my fucking rapist.” You snapped at him. You see the hurt expression come across his face. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, Aaron. That was a really shitty thing for me to say.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right, I did do that and I don’t regret doing it.” Aaron grabs your hands, smoothing his finger over your knuckles, an action you had just done for him earlier that day. Which felt like lightyears away now. “I want to help you, Y/N, but I think… I think you need to tell me about it first.”

You sighed heavily. He was right, you knew everything about Aaron’s past.

It was only fair he knew everything about yours.

Taglist: @megatrexus @roses-and-grasses @tittymuncher69 @liaabsurd @ladyravenclaw @genevievedarcygrangerreading @softbibxtch @xxdisappearwithoutatracexx @crimeshowtrash @augustgraceful @theweirdobella @infinity1321 @stella95827 @neaswift

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#hotch x reader smut #bau x reader #hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #hotchner x reader #criminal minds

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rapeculturerealities · 4 years

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Long before she decided to help others eat better by becoming a dietitian, Jessica Wilson learned that the profession was unlikely to offer much to people like her.

Growing up as a Black girl in a mostly white area of Sacramento, Calif., she was bullied for her size and subjected to unpleasant visits with dietitians, who taught portion control with the aid of unappetizing plastic models of green beans and chicken breasts.

In her dietetics program at the University of California, Davis, Ms. Wilson was the only Black student. A single day was devoted to what the curriculum called “ethnic diets.” “It was not, ‘These are interesting and awesome,’” she recalled. “It is, ‘These are why these diets are bad. Next class.’”

Mexican food was dismissed as greasy. Indian food was heavy. Ms. Wilson was taught to prescribe a bland “kale-and-quinoa” diet. When she started treating patients — including many who, like her, are people of color or identify as queer — she learned how much those identities informed their perspectives on health, and how little she’d been taught about that.

“It makes people feel so guilty for not being able to eat what Goop would recommend,” said Ms. Wilson, 38. “I was no longer able to use the tools that had been given to me in school with good conscience.”

As the coronavirus pandemic has made Americans more aware of their health and eating habits, many have turned to registered dietitians like Ms. Wilson (or to nutritionists, who are not always required to obtain a specific education or certification). Yet the advice they get can sometimes seem more tailored to some past era than to the motley, multicultural nation the United States is in 2020.

In recent years — and particularly in the last several months, amid the national discussion about race — many dietitians have begun speaking out and reimagining the practice in a more inclusive way, often without institutional support.

Today, Ms. Wilson counsels many people of color on eating a healthy diet based on the foods they grew up with and love. Hazel Ng, 48, who runs a private practice in Alhambra, Calif., has created handouts for her Chinese clients that showcase produce found in Asian grocery stores, like bitter melon and lychees

In June, Sherene Chou, 36, a dietitian with a private practice in Los Angeles, organized a group letter to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics — the largest and most powerful organization for food and nutrition professionals — outlining steps it should take to address systemic racism in the field, including antiracism training and more support for people of color. Leaders of numerous dietetics groups lent their support, signing the letter on behalf of 70,000 practitioners and students.

Many of these dietitians say the academy’s research, programs and articles ignore non-Western cuisines, or imply that they are unhealthy. They feel the profession places too much emphasis on consuming less and not enough on understanding individual eating habits. And, they add, it perpetuates an ideal of thinness and gender normativity that can exclude different body types and identities.

“It is a good-old-girls’ club where, as a person of color, you have to do so much to be invited,” said Jessica Jones, a dietitian in Richmond, Calif., and a founder of the inclusive dietetics website Food Heaven.

In response to these criticisms, the academy said it is working hard to broaden its ranks and resources to better reflect different cultures.

“Like other professions in health care and countless other fields, nutrition and dietetics has for many years experienced underrepresentation by persons of color in its membership and leadership ranks,” it said in a statement last week. “The academy knows change will not happen overnight. Still, we are making real progress that will create permanent change in our organization, our profession and our communities.”

The group is influential in setting the United States Department of Agriculture dietary guidelines that Americans are urged to follow; its members make up half of the 20-member committee that oversees those recommendations. In a July report, the committee acknowledged that the dietary approaches it studies don’t “qualitatively address cultural variations in intake patterns,” yet said the resulting guidelines allow a “tremendous amount of flexibility” that allows them to be tailored to an individual’s cultural and taste preferences.

The recipe database on MyPlate, the agriculture department’s healthy-eating website, includes 98 dishes classified as “American,” but just 28 “Asian” recipes and nine “Middle Eastern” ones. Though it lists 122 “Latin American/Hispanic” recipes, they include dishes like a “skinny pizza” made with tortillas. The Asian recipes include “Oriental Rice” and “Oriental Sweet and Sour Vegetables.”(A spokesman for the department said that “expanding the recipe database and other MyPlate consumer resources to reflect more diversity is one of our top priorities.”)

If the options seem narrow, they may begin with the narrowness of the profession. More than 71 percent of the nation’s roughly 106,000 registered dietitians are non-Hispanic white, according to the academy’s Commission on Dietetic Registration. Nearly 84 percent are women.

Entry requirements are steep: Practitioners must earn a degree from an accredited program, complete an internship (sometimes unpaid) or a supervised learning program, and pass a registration exam with a $200 entrance fee. Starting in 2024, a graduate degree will be required to take the exam.

“This is an expensive profession, with no guarantee that you are going to have a high salary,” said Lisa Sasson, a professor in the department of nutrition and food studies at New York University. She called the new graduate-degree mandate “unconscionable” and “an even greater barrier to people of color in our profession.”

The academy said that its charitable foundation provided more than $500,000 in scholarships and grants from 2017 to 2019 “for diverse individuals within the field,” and that those funds continue to grow.

Internships are highly competitive, and some even require the intern to pay. Alice Figueroa, 33, who runs a private practice in the East Village of Manhattan, said she struggled to afford food during her internship, even as she was advising others how to eat. Evelyn Crayton, 74, who was the academy’s first Black president, said many of the people in charge of matching students with internships are white, and may be more likely to select applicants who look like them.

Funding for dietetics programs at many historically Black colleges and universities, including Fort Valley State University and Grambling State University, has been cut since the 1970s. The number of Black dietitians fell by 18 percent, to 1,107, from 1998 to 2019, according to the academy’s Accreditation Council for Education in Nutrition and Dietetics.

Even when Dr. Crayton was president of the academy, in 2015 and 2016, she felt out of step with its other leaders. “I have heard that behind my back they called me an angry Black woman, because I raised questions,” she said. Her nominations of Black dietitians for leadership roles, she added, were frequently snubbed.

Told of her comments, the academy responded, “We were not aware of this until now, and we are very saddened to hear that Evelyn was subjected to these inexcusable statements. They do not reflect the academy’s core values and we are moving swiftly to investigate this matter.”

The profession’s exclusivity goes beyond race. Kai Iguchi, 28, a dietitian working at Rogers Behavioral Health in Oconomowoc, Wis., didn’t feel comfortable coming out as nonbinary to graduate-school classmates. “When the program itself as a culture is very cisgender, thin, white and female,” they said, “it is hard to be different and succeed.”

Mx. Iguchi said what they learned at school did little to address the unique problems that transgender and nonbinary clients face — being misgendered by their dietitians and family members, or feeling discomfort with overtly feminine imagery on health materials. Adult transgender people are also at high risk of developing eating disorders, according to a 2019 study by the Stanford University School of Medicine.

Even some dietitians who teach the standard curriculum find it wanting. “I have reached my limit with my textbook,” said Maya Feller, an adjunct professor in nutrition at New York University, adding that it doesn’t take into account social factors that often explain why people of color are disproportionally affected by health issues.

She said she was also unhappy with educational resources like MyPlate, which recommends meals like salmon, brown rice and broccoli, but not the curried chana and doubles served by her mother, who grew up in Trinidad. (After her interview for this article, Ms. Feller was hired as a consultant to help make MyPlate more inclusive.)

“If I saw that plate and then looked at my doubles, I would be like, ‘Well, my food is no good.’”

Ms. Feller, 43, tries instead to promote an “ongoing and consistent education around cultural humility” — not telling patients what they can’t eat, but considering the foods they have access to, and embracing, not stigmatizing, their cultural preferences.

It rankles Ryan Bad Heart Bull, 36, a Native American dietitian who works with the Oglala Sioux Tribe in Pine Ridge, S.D., that many of his peers praise the nutritional value of traditional Indigenous ingredients like salmon and bison, without understanding how federal government policies have made it harder for Native Americans to hunt and forage on their own land. To be ignorant of this cultural and historical context, “and then to turn around and say bison meat is one of the best meats you can eat and here are the ways you can incorporate it into your diet,” he said, “it is insulting and saddening.”

In 2019, he published a guide for the American Indian Cancer Foundation to educate Native cancer survivors about the nutritional value of their traditional foods.

Diksha Gautham, 27, a nutritionist in San Francisco, tells her mostly South Asian-American clientele that a healthy diet can include palak paneer and aloo tikki. As a child, she said, she harbored a blind perception that anything that wasn’t dry chicken and broccoli, including the dal and rice her mother cooked, “was bad for me.” No nutritional database she has encountered includes Indian ingredients, so she created her own guides to healthful Indian food.

A Toronto dietitian, Nazima Qureshi, 29, has self-published “The Healthy Ramadan Guide” with her husband, Belal Hafeez, a personal trainer. It includes meal plans that adhere to fasting guidelines, with recipes like stuffed dates and za’atar roasted chicken, and exercises to give people energy going into daily prayers.

Some of Dalina Soto’s Hispanic and Asian clients in the Philadelphia area have been told by other dietitians that they can’t eat white rice. “They shut down,” she said. “Either they go way to the extreme, where they are no longer eating any of their cultural foods, or the other side is, ‘I am just not going to manage my disease.’”

“My goal is to bring them in the middle,” said Ms. Soto, 32. She’ll suggest a salad alongside their rice and beans.

Still, many of these practitioners feel frustrated as they try to nudge the dietetic establishment toward change.

The profession is governed by the academy’s board. One subsidiary organization, the Commission on Dietetic Registration, sets professional requirements and fees; another, the Accreditation Council, certifies programs. Together, these entities and their majority-white leadership act as gatekeepers, their critics argue, limiting deep-rooted change.

The academy, which has about 100,000 members, funds research and hosts the largest annual conference for dietitians, the Food & Nutrition Conference & Expo. In 2016, it announced the Second Century Initiative, an effort to expand its reach and teachings around the globe.

The academy has had a diversity and inclusion committee since 1987. But, like all the academy’s committees, it is filled by volunteers. Teresa Turner, 37, a member from 2015 until May, said the academy offers the panel few “resources or benchmarks.” “Its only purpose,” Ms. Turner said, “is to make the academy look like they are doing something.”

The academy denied those assertions, saying the committee plays an active role, recommending strategies to recruit people from underrepresented groups to join the profession, and the academy, and promote their advancement.

A group that calls itself Audit the Academy (whose members include Ms. Turner, Ms. Figueroa and Ms. Chou) said the academy research it has seen is largely conducted by white dietitians studying nondiverse populations; if they study communities of color, they often do so from a white perspective. Members also see little representation of transgender and nonbinary people.

“If we are invisible in the research,” said Sand Chang, 42, an Oakland, Calif., psychologist who specializes in the transgender health and eating disorders, “we are going to be invisible in assessment and treatment.”

The academy, however, said it “offers materials, programs and educational opportunities to help its members provide care to a diverse array of clients,” including articles about treating transgender individuals.

In June, the organization responded to pressure from disaffected members by committing to developing action plans to address inequities in the profession. It has created a new Diversity and Inclusion Advisory Group, and conducted virtual forums to hear the concerns of 126 randomly selected members.

Shannon Curtis, 30, a Houston dietitian who helped found a group called Dietitians for Change, attended one of the sessions. “Although it was empowering to know that we are not the only ones screaming about this,” she said, “it was kind of a waste of time, in my opinion, because I am not exactly confident that they will take this information and put it into an action plan they will actually act on.”

Other organizations have emerged to address the inequities in the profession, like Diversify Dietetics, founded in 2018 by Tamara Melton and Deanna Belleny. It offers resources like mentors and educational materials to help students of color pass the registration exam.

In response to criticisms that it is harder for nonwhite dietitians to succeed in the profession, the academy offered an interview with Kristen Gradney, a senior director at Our Lady of the Lake Children’s Hospital in Baton Rouge, La, and one of several registered dietitian nutritionists who speak on behalf of the academy.

Ms. Gradney, 40, said that while the academy “has really missed the mark” in preparing dietitians to deal with diverse populations, it is starting to make progress. Still, she said “true change” would probably not come from the academy, but from grass-roots initiatives like Diversify Dietetics, where she serves on the advisory board.

In 2018, Dr. Crayton, the academy’s past president, hosted a conference in Montgomery, Ala., where she lives, for World Critical Dietetics, an organization that champions a more inclusive approach to dietetics. Panels discussed the role that unconscious bias plays in education, and whether the registration exam was fair to all students.

Dr. Crayton took participants to the Edmund Pettus Bridge, in Selma, where in 1965, peaceful protesters marched for civil rights. “I could never have done that with the academy,” she said with a laugh. She said events like that could help pave a path toward sweeping change.

“I don’t know how to get to people’s hearts, but it is a heart thing,” she said. In a discipline that deals with such a deeply personal matter — one’s eating habits — “there has to be a change of heart, where people really feel empathy for groups who they are trying to include.”

#diet culture #racism #food #xenophobia #colonialism #hostility to bodily autonomy

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anotheronechicagobog · 3 years

Text

Functional Dysfunction - Chapter 2 - Rheese

written by @anotheronechicagobog

Warnings: talk about abortion, unplanned pregnancy, forceful admittance to hospital, swearing

Sarah was so thankful that she had a day off. She didn’t think that she could handle an interrogation. Not from Maggie or Natalie individually, much less so together. Her abortion was scheduled to take place in three days, she’d arranged to have that day off too, but for now, all Sarah wanted was to keep her mind off of everything, so she tied her curly hair into a bun, started blasting ABBA and cleaning her apartment. She’d gotten into the zone and hadn’t comprehended the time until she’d hit her shin on her coffee table for the umpteenth time while dancing around using her duster both as a cleaning tool and a mic. She plopped down onto her couch and looked at her work. She wasn’t a neat freak, but her place was usually pretty clean. Yes she’ll leave far too many books out on the coffee table, she doesn’t vacuum every week, and she refuses to buy dishes that can’t go in the dishwasher, but there’s no mold or layers of dust or strange smells, and she can always find what she needs when she needs it. But now, everything was put away, there wasn’t a stray coffee mug or spoon out on the counter, her apartment smelled like lemon Mr. Clean, and she was starving.

She untied her hair as she made her way down the street, letting the wind blow through it, cooling her from head to toe. She cut through the park, just enjoying the fall colours and not being drowned in stress for once. She let her mind wander, from a new Harry Potter fan theory she’d read on Tumblr to what she was going to get when she got to the Mills family diner. Her musing was cut short when she smacked right into someone. Her flustered apology was halted in her throat when the person gently held her arms to stabilize her. They were familiar, she’d felt them yesterday when she stood up too fast. She looked up as he released her. “Dr. Rhodes, sorry about that. I was a little lost in my head.”

“No worries, truthfully, I was spaced out too. And seriously, you can call me Connor, at least outside of work.” And for the first time, ever probably, Sarah took a good look at him.

Though he smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. They were a piercing blue, but they looked so... Tired. There was a discernible aching sorrow vividly holding his soul hostage. His hair was mussed and it looked like he’d been trying to yank parts of it from his scalp. His shoulders, while strong and broad, were incredibly tense. Sarah actually started to feel pain in hers just looking at him. His skin clung closer to his body than it probably should have, and his pallor making her uneasy. He moved his hands back to his sides, and in all honesty that was probably the most concerning part of him. People often made the mistake of thinking surgeons had soft hands, but that wasn’t true. They didn’t get callouses from their jobs, but their hands were by no means soft. They had to thoroughly wash their hands, forearms, and elbows, before and after every surgery or medical procedure they performed. Plus they had to use hand sanitizer before and after they worked on or even met with a patient. It took a toll on their skin, and you could often tell how much a surgeon had been working based on the condition of their skin. And Rh-Connor’s... It was dark pink, going into his sleeves so she couldn’t see how far up the problem extended to, the skin was cracking, and it felt like scales as opposed to skin.

“Alright, Connor, what are you up to?”

“I’m just walking, I guess.”

“It’s a nice day for it. How’s Robin doing? I haven’t seen her in a while.” A dark look crossed his face and Sarah immediately kicked herself, this was obviously a very stressful, very private, matter that she had just callously asked about. Yes, she had a lot going on, but she should have realized that there was a reason. A secret. “I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“Robin’s been admitted to psych.” Connor hadn’t told anyone, and had gone to great lengths to keep it as much of a secret as possible. She worked there, her father worked there, he worked there, none of them needed Robin’s situation to be broadcast all over the hospital. But honestly, it felt great to tell someone, to tell Sarah, someone who wasn’t directly involved. Dealing with Dr. Charles throughout, the man who’d forcibly admitted his daughter to psych in the first place, and Ms. Goodwin who supported Dr. Charles, as well as all the staff treating Robin, was exhausting.

“What?”

“Robin was admitted to psych... By Dr. Charles.”

“Oh my god, are you serious? Is that even legal?!”

“It’s... Yeah, it’s a whole thing... Situation. Wow, uh, TMI, I guess. Sorry to spring all of that on you. What are you up to?”

“Uh, well, still pregnant, still getting an abortion. I was just going to get lunch. At the Mills family diner? Uh, I’ve spent the whole day cleaning and avoiding Maggie, and Dr. Manning, and J- the father. You could come, if you want, to the diner I mean, not avoiding the father of- okay this has gotten...” Connor just chuckled, his eyes starting to look slightly less miserable. “I probably won’t be good company, but if you don’t mind...?”

“Not at all, come on, and I’m sure that you’ll be great company.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lunch was surprisingly pleasant. It was awkward at first, but they found a rhythm. Honestly, they just ended up spending the entire time talking about Parks and Rec and Supernatural. It was so nice to talk about anything other than work and the plights in their lives. Connor looked slightly less strung out than when Sarah had first run into him. He seemed a little lighter and his smile really seemed more like a relief to himself. When he first gave Sarah that face-splitting, teeth=showing, jubilant smile he seemed to have shocked himself, confusion plastered all over his face, before a gentle smile flittered in and his body visibly released tension. Since then, he hadn’t stopped smiling, beaming brightly at her. Sarah briefly wondered if he’d smiled at all recently, with how turbulent his life has been. The silence between them was soft and warm. Comforting. They took the time to regard each other without any pressure or professional constraints, and it was nice. Connor sat across from her munching away on his corned beef sandwich, occasionally slurping away at his chocolate milkshake. The vigour with which he’d been eating made her wonder if he was actually taking care of himself. She took another bite of her Gabby’s mac ‘n cheese and savoured... Everything. The taste, her company, the atmosphere, this moment in time was the least hectic or nerve-wracking she’d had since she noticed her cycle was off. So she was just enjoying it while it lasted.

“You okay, Sarah?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You just seem sluggish. And we’ve been here for a while and you’ve barely made a dent in your food, plus you’re drinking peppermint tea.”

“My morning sickness hasn’t been great, if I’m honest. This is normally my favourite thing on the menu, and I don’t normally like pancakes because they’re so starchy but lately they’re all I’ve been wanting to eat! It’s so annoying. This at least has chicken and loads of vegetables. And hey, pregnancy is tiring! I’m always so sore and achy. Plus caffeine withdrawal is ripping me a new one.”

“You know, if you’re having an abortion, you don’t necessarily have to abide by all the pregnancy can’ts. They won’t really matter, anyway. So, why are you following all the guidelines?”

“I don’t know. It just feels like... They’re still here. They still matter. I’m still their mom, I still have to take care of them.” She shrugged a little and stared at the rim of her white mug, fiddling with the handle. Unable to handle the weight of Connor’s gaze and her own words.

“Maybe you should have ordered the chicken noodle soup. Their recipe is really good, plus it’ll be light on your stomach.” Her eyes snapped to his. There was nothing but sincerity looking back at her. There was a little concern, and the question she’d been avoiding suddenly became tangible and took a seat beside her, whispering ‘are you sure you want an abortion?’ delicately in her ear. But he didn’t ask her. He didn’t make any comments or judgments. He was just there, across from her, offering her kindness and food. She moved the plate away from in front of her and smiled sheepishly at him as he flagged down Peter. “Hey guys, is everything alright? Reese, you’ve hardly touched your food.”

“She’s not feeling super great, do you think we could get a bowl of chicken noodle and a container for the pasta?”

“Yeah, no problem Rhodes, everything will be right out.”

“Connor, you don’t have to do this, but I do really appreciate it.”

“Good, because I appreciate you too and everything that you’re doing for me. Don’t look so confused, you’ve been a great sounding board and distraction. And I honestly really needed that. Plus, I figured that since I’ve got dirt on you so you can’t tell anyone about the Robyn thing.” There was absolutely no malice in his words and Sarah couldn’t help but laugh. It really was a relief to have someone to talk to about her baby, and he was right, if he did suddenly just spill the beans she could do the same in retaliation. She doubted he ever would though, he was an incredibly private person and valued privacy more than Ron Swanson. “Doris would have a field day with us, wouldn’t she?”

“Oh hell, Sarah, don’t even joke about that. If she knew...” She laughed again at his overdramatic shudder. But she knew he was right. No one could know. Especially not Doris.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late in the day when they finally left the diner, the air cooling down from crisp to chilly, the winds much harsher and stronger than usual. Sarah’s apartment was only a ten-minute walk away but Connor insisted on taking her home. She’d managed to talk him out of walking her to her door, but not of driving her there. “What kind of guy would I be if I let a pregnant woman walk home alone when the weather just got worse?” Something in his tone, and the way he spoke so freely about her pregnancy, made her think that he knew something she wasn’t willing to consider just yet, but she was trying not to think about it. Instead, she focused on the interior of Connor’s luxury car. “Is this silver? On the door handles?”

“No... It’s platinum.”

“Really?!”

“Yes. What, do you want to hear about all the extravagant features in this car?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“Seriously?”

“Mostly cause I know it annoys you, but yeah.”

“Well, another time then, because we are here.”

“After a two-minute car ride. I could have walked myself.”

“I grew up here, you didn’t, when the wind gets that bad it’s best to avoid the outdoors.”

“Alright, well thanks for the ride and for looking out for my safety.”

“No problem, I’ll see you at work tomorrow, right?”

“Depends. I’ll spend most of the day avoiding Maggie and Manning which will involve lots of hiding.”

“Well, maybe we could hide together? I doubt that Robyn’s admittance to the hospital will stay secret for long. Plus, today was nice. We should hang out again.”

“We should, it really was refreshing. And, uh, if you do need a place to hide tomorrow, my spot is on the second floor of the atrium in the small hallway behind the janitor’s closet on the right side. There’s a couch there and because nothing else is down there no one really uses it, and it can be pretty quiet. As long as you don’t tell anyone else, you’re free to use it.”

“Thanks, Sarah. Something tells me I’ll be needing that information.” The weight that had evaporated over the course of the afternoon seemed to return, his movements slowed, his limbs appeared heavier, his smile dropped, and his eyes went dark, reflecting pain and exhaustion. Sarah honestly just wanted to give him a hug. But she couldn’t. They didn’t know each other that well, and spending the afternoon with him was already a little strange, despite how nice it was. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Connor. You should go home, get some sleep. You seem... Tired.”

“I am. And, I think I’ll do just that. Thank you, Sarah, really. This afternoon was really what I needed. And I do want to do it again sometime.”

“Then we will. Bye Connor.”

#One Chicago #chicago med #Chicago Fire #Sarah Reese #connor rhodes #connor rhodes x sarah reese #sarah x connor #rheese #Natalie Manning #peter mills

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tlbodine · 4 years

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Thanksgiving is Gonna Be Weird: A Survival Guide for 2020

It’s 2020, the pandemic is worse than ever, and the holidays are right around the corner. No matter what, this is going to be a weird Thanksgiving for a lot of people. With travel restrictions in place and most of us having a mighty desire not to murder our friends and family by spreading around a disease, there’s a good chance that you’re going to be celebrating a bit differently this year.

And, hey, maybe you decide not to celebrate at all. Which is perfectly valid!

But maybe you’re staring down the possibility of your first Thanksgiving on your own, or feeding just the small group you live for rather than a big crowd, or some other unusual circumstance. And if that’s the case, I wanted to compile together some resources/ideas to help you out. I know this isn’t my usual horror fare, but...well, I hope it’s helpful, regardless.

“Help, I’ve Never Made Thanksgiving Dinner Before” Starter Kit

Maybe you’ve always gone home for the holidays but are currently stuck in an apartment with a few roommates, and none of you have any intensive cooking skills. Maybe you always take the kids to Grandma’s house and have never had to contribute more than a side dish but now really want to do a proper Thanksgiving feast for your partner(s), kid(s) and whoever else lives in your house.

Never fear! A Thanksgiving feast doesn’t have to be intimidating! In fact, Thanksgiving foods are usually pretty simple; the most challenging part of the whole feast is the project management aspect of working with a lot of different dishes and getting everything ready at once. But the smaller your crowd to feed, the easier that is!

So, the first thing you’ll want to do is come up with a menu. Sit down and write a list of all the foods you normally eat and enjoy on Thanksgiving. If something is served at your family meal that you’ve never cared for, guess what? You can boot that bad boy right off the list!

By and large, the standard Thanksgiving feast consists of:

Roast turkey

Mashed potatoes

Gravy

Some kind of dinner roll

Cranberry sauce

Some number of vegetable side dishes (often a green been casserole and a sweet potato casserole)

Some kind of dessert (often/traditionally a pumpkin pie)

I’ve linked above some easy & favorite techniques/recipes for all of these foods, but of course you can buy time-saving convenience items to get you rolling -- from potato flakes to gravy mix to premade pie. I won’t tell if you don’t.

If there’s something you’re used to eating every year that you don’t know how to make....call whoever usually makes it! If at all possible, obviously, I’m not recommending you do a seance to talk to your dead great-aunt and get her rolls recipe. Just, like...phone up your friend/family member, get the recipe, and use it as an opportunity to connect. Odds are both of you are missing the human interaction.

“Hey, That’s Nice, But I Live in a Dorm Room” Edition

Okay, okay, I get it. You’re away at college and can’t get home to see your family safely and you’re living in some kind of weird socially isolated dorm situation where you have limited access to cooking implements. Or, shit, idk, maybe you’re couch-surfing or living in a motel or otherwise not in possession of a full kitchen.

I got you, fam.

Do you have at your disposal a microwave? Rice cooker? Even an electric kettle will work!

If you have some way to boil water, you can make instant mashed potatoes, gravy, and stove-top stuffing. If you have a microwave, you can steam some vegetables and bake a sweet potato. For dessert, core an apple, stuff the cavity with brown sugar + cinnamon + butter and nuke in the microwave for 4 minutes.

It’s hypothetically possible to microwave a turkey, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Instead, I’d opt to buy a deli roast chicken (about $5 at most grocery stores), or even just some turkey deli meat. Alternatively, ham usually just needs to be warmed rather than cooked, and you can buy a big ol’ ham steak at the store for a couple of bucks.

“I’m Dead Broke Because COVID, Send Help”

You know the great thing about Thanksgiving food? It’s cheap. No, really! It can be, anyway, especially since a lot of foods go on sale.

In my area anyway, the local Wal-Mart and Smith’s Grocery have:

A can of green beans for about 79 cents

A bag of instant mashed potatoes for about $1

A big can of yams for about $1, or fresh yams for 50 cents/lb (usually a couple sweet potatoes = 1lb)

Canned corn or peas + corn for 50 cents, or steam-in-bag veggies of your choice for $1

Stovetop stuffing for $1 or sometimes even 50 cents per box

Margarine for 79 cents to $1

Gravy mix packets for 50 cents each

A can of cranberry sauce for $1 or less

Most of these are also available at Dollar Tree!

A lot of food banks will also be giving out turkeys this time of year, and some grocery stores will give you a free turkey if you spend $50 or $100 on groceries or whatever. Do you have an older relative who needs groceries? Ask if you can go buy their food and deliver it to their door (contactless!) and keep the free turkey.

You can pretty easily feed a group of 4-6 for $20 or so, especially if you’re willing to be flexible on your protein. And what are you doing feeding more than 6 people in the middle of a pandemic, huh?

“I’m Used to Hosting a Big Dinner But There’s Only Like Three Of Us Living In This House WTF How Do I Scale This Shit Down”

Maybe you are a Thanksgiving veteran. Maybe you’re accustomed to hosting for a big crowd and cooking a small meal just seems dumb and pointless. I feel you. This is my life right now! But don’t despair!

The way I see it, you’ve got a couple-three options:

Option One:

Cook your turkey + a different side each day, and eat your Thanksgiving feast spread out over a week or so. It’ll keep your leftovers from dominating your fridge, let you eat something fresh, and allow you to enjoy all your favorite recipes. Downside is you’ll have to cook every day, so you tell me if you’re too busy to do that.

Option Two:

Cook everything that you normally would, but portion off half of it or whatever to stuff into your freezer, or go deliver it to somebody else’s door. The odds are pretty good that you’ve got a friend or family member who is freaking out about the holiday, and if you can’t see them in person, you can at least drop food off on their porch and then honk aggressively/cheerfully from the safety of your car!

Option Three:

Make something different this year. If you’re a foodie, take this as an opportunity to challenge yourself to create something high-maintenance and weird that you wouldn’t normally make. This is a good choice if you’re off work and stuck in your house with nothing else to do. Basically you’re subbing out quantity for quality so the meal still feels special and unique even if it’s, y’know....just you and your cat, or whoever.

PS: Roasting a whole chicken or a cornish game hen is a fun, small-scale way to get your bird-in-the-oven experience. You can also buy a turkey breast and just cook that, which will be a lot faster than the whole bird anyway.

"I’m An Essential Worker And I’m Working Thanksgiving And Have No Time To Do ANYTHING, What Now?”

Dude, I get it. And whether you’re a doctor, nurse, grocery store employee, or whatever other essential service-worker, my heart goes out to you because hoo boy this year has been shit, hasn’t it? I can’t do anything about the hazard pay situation, but I CAN tell you that there are a few places offering delivery-based Thanksgiving meal options!

You might want to search around a bit for your specific area. Cracker Barrel, Marie Callendar’s, Boston Market, and other types of branded “home-cooking” type restaurants tend to have some kind of Thanksgiving thing. Why not call your local restaurant fav to see if they’re doing something similar? Most restaurants are desperate for a way to stay afloat right now, so a ton of places that don’t traditionally deliver are offering curbside service now. It’s worth a try!

So, there you have it.

I hope some of these tips taught you something new, pointed you to a helpful resource, or gave you some ideas. More than anything, I just want everybody to be safe and happy this holiday. So, please -- get creative, wear your mask while you’re shopping, avoid the get-togethers, and be careful. You may save a life!

#holidays #thanksgiving #covid 19 #PSA #cooking #food #tips #I hope this helps someone #please reblog if I missed anything #long post

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acti-veg · 4 years

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Methods For Going Vegan

Depending on how ready you feel to leap in, you can choose from three potential methods. If you attempt one and it isn’t successful then don’t worry, it just means that method wasn’t the right one for you. Take a break, seek out some more inspiration through articles and documentaries and get right back to it - just following a different method. There is no ‘one size fits all,’ it’ll really depend on your personal preference.

You should go for the one you feel is most likely to succeed for you, not necessarily the one you think will make you vegan the fastest. These methods focus on food first and foremost, not because it is any more important than any other aspect of veganism, just because it tends to be the part of the process that people find the most daunting, at least initially.

Whichever one you choose, it is important that you act now while all of this information is fresh in your mind. You may have already come up with reasons to not transition now and to leave it to the future, perhaps when the new year starts, when you move out or when you are off work and school.

The truth is that there will always be reasons not to go vegan, and you may spend your life waiting for the perfect moment to do it, which may never come. The perfect moment is when you are inspired, that inspiration and passion will see you through almost any difficulty, but the longer you leave it before you act, the more that tends to fade, and the longer society has to pull you back into the carnist mentality.

By Product

This is the method that most people follow, and it’s the one that is generally considered to be the easiest. This is fairly intuitive, all you really have to do is eliminate and replace one product at a time. You may start with something you will find really easy, like beef or cow’s milk, and eliminate that one product from your diet. When using this method, be sure to only eliminate one thing at a time, so that it doesn’t become too overwhelming. You should only move on to the next product when you feel ready.

The advantage of doing it one product at a time is that you’ll have plenty of time to find suitable alternatives for whatever you have just eliminated, and it is important that you do replace it. There are delicious faux meat alternatives widely available these days, but if you’re going with beef, you don’t necessarily need to replace it with a beef alternative, you can substitute it for just about any protein source. Something like a cup of lentils, beans, chickpeas, seitan or a portobello mushroom would be ideal choices, they don’t taste the same of course, but they provide a similar function on the plate when paired with a carbohydrate, and have a similar (if not superior) protein content. It is important that you are replacing and not simply eliminating, or you’ll end up feeling like your diet has become restrictive.

A potential problem with this method is that, no matter how easy you start off, you will eventually have to give up those products you like most, and that can result in cravings. There are ways to overcome cravings and those are detailed a little further on in this section, but it is something to be aware of if you are opting to explore this method.

By Meal

This is a slightly quicker method, and it works better for some people. This involves eating plant-based one meal at a time, rather than eliminating individual products from your diet. Following this method, you may start by making your breakfast 100% plant-based every day. This could be as simple as swapping the cow’s milk in your cereal for plant milk, or butter on your toast for a plant-based alternative, of which there are many. You would eat as you normally do the rest of the day, just keeping your breakfast as your one plant-based meal. Once you have developed a set of nutritious, animal-free breakfasts that you enjoy, you would then move on to lunch, dinner, then any snacks in-between.

The big advantage of this method is that it will slowly lower your consumption of every animal product simultaneously, rather than suddenly eliminating one entirely. This is often enough to avoid cravings or any sort of ‘body shock’, which is one of the issues many people struggle with, and it encourages you to cook and experiment with foods you may have never even tried before. It also gives you a lot of flexibility in terms of what is easier for you, you may find it really easy to eat plant-based for your meals at home but not for those at work, so you can tailor your approach to work around your schedule.

One potential problem you may encounter with this is that you will have an initial period of unfamiliarity when you extend your plant-based eating to a new meal. You will have breakfast down, but lunch may be a different matter for you, and it may take a few days each time for that to settle down, in which you may feel like you’re starting back at square one. The best way to pre-empt that problem is to spend some time before you incorporate a new meal on researching recipes for lunch and dinner which will suit you - you want to have at least six in your rotation that you can regularly eat and enjoy.

All In

Often called going ‘cold turkey,’ this method is the one that many people find the most difficult. It involves eliminating all animal products from your diet all at once. This sounds overwhelming, but it may be the right choice for you if the idea of continuing to eat animal products for even one more day sounds repulsive to you. For those who feel like it’s now or never this may be the right move, and there is something to be said for setting that first foot on the road as quickly as possible.

The great advantage of this method is that it will result in a complete transition far sooner than the other two, which means that you’ll begin to feel the positive physical and mental benefits of veganism much sooner as well. Before that happens though, you’re likely to experience something of a body-shock as your system gets used to the radical change, this can also include cravings. Both of these issues and how to counter them are explored in more detail below.

Whichever method you choose, you should expect the first two of three weeks or so to be the toughest. This is the period in which your body and mind are still getting used to the transition. Regardless, it is recommended that you focus solely on diet initially, before you move on to clothing, cosmetics and other products. You can feel free to do it all at once of course, though there is the danger of becoming a little overwhelmed with so much change so quickly, meaning that it can be better to parcel it out over a longer period.

-An extract from my free eBook: The Green Road - A Practical Guide to Veganism

#vegan #going vegan #how to go vegan #original

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ooops-i-arted · 4 years

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More Miscellaneous 101 Yoditos AU Things

Given he is responsible for soothing up to 101 children to sleep, Din has absolutely cheated by filling his glove with sand and setting it on them, laying them by his helmet when he’s not wearing it, or taking off his breastplate and setting them on it. It worked a grand total of once for most of the kids. (OG did not put up with that shit at all and definitely stalked over to Dad with a little pouty face and held up his arms to clearly indicate that he expected to be rocked to sleep IN PERSON, thank you.) Now it only works on the 10 youngest babies, but only if they’re really sleepy, so that they fall asleep before they bother reaching out with the Force to sense HEY, THAT’S NOT DAD.

The kids can track him using the Force. Din is their favorite, so of course they are very attuned to his presence in the Force. Din figured this out after several times where he was 100% certain everyone was occupied before he slipped away to take a shower and had barely turned the water on before the kids were trying to beat the door down.

It does end up being a benefit eventually though. Once the kids start self-managing their initial (and understandably significant) separation issues from the first person to actually care about them, the fact that they always know where Dad is, even if they can’t see him, is very reassuring and gives them more confidence that Dad leaving doesn’t mean he’s leaving forever.

Din swears they are using the Force to know exactly how far to push limits before he is about to lose his cool, because somehow they always know when to stop being little shits and instead hug his boot while looking up adorably and saying “Buir, I love you.”

Din and Cara like to spar with each other both to stay sharp and relieve stress, but have to be careful about when they do it. The first time the kids from the lab found them they were very upset to see their aunt and dad beating the crap out of each other, and Din had to calm them all down and explain play-fighting. (Cara was just glad she didn’t get choked. She could handle angry glares, and tell anyone raising their hands and squeezing they better not, and stop anyone who decided to copy her and start beating on their brother, or worse try and join in with her and Din, but one of them sobbing and running up to her and begging her not to hurt his papa was hard.)

One of those days where everything just went wrong and Din was running really late and the kids were hungry and he broke down and just stopped at a space McDonalds. Din had to admit just getting approximately 1,000 chicken nuggets was a very easy solution to feeding 101 children (once he convinced the server this wasn’t a prank and he really needed that many). Dragging them all out of the playplace was absolute hell.

Otherwise Din absolutely will not shut up about is the food healthy, what if there are space pesticides in it, this ration bar composition doesn’t have enough protein, etc. IG-11 is the only one who puts up with this. Even Kuiil is eventually like, I think they’re fine and you’re feeding them well and you can stop. I have spoken.

Kuiil is the one Din seeks out when he’s feeling really unsure about any Parenting Things. Kuiil will listen to him natter as long as he needs to, then say one simple wise sentence that either validates or corrects Din followed by “I have spoken.”

Din doesn’t want to get along with IG-11 but IG is the only one who will put up with anything with endless, eternal patience, whether it’s Din going on and on about healthy food or the kids telling a meandering story. Din also greatly appreciates how good IG-11 is at tracking all the kids down when they don’t want to do bedtime/bathtime/etc. (Also, there has yet to be a diaper blowout that IG-11 can’t handle, because he can turn off his scent receptors at will.)

Din knows about traditional Mandalorian recipes, although he’s only actually cooked them a handful of times. He figures out a tiingilar recipe the kids can eat, as well as a meat-based version of uj’alayi. The kids love it.

The knowledge that he can cook gets around and Din is roped into the Sorgan PTA’s bake sale, because he has a ship and can drive them around. There is much sighing, but he does agree.

The second most awkward ship ride of Din’s life is carting around a bunch of PTA moms to the bake sale. (They try to make small talk. Din does not.) The first most awkward ship ride of his life is taking them back to the village, with the local Karen fuming behind him because everyone liked his uj’alayi cake better than her shitty-ass brownies.

After this there is a string of Sorgan PTA moms who come over and are very interested in whether Din is alone right now and whether he would like to come over to their conveniently empty houses sometime. Din, being Too Ace For This Shit, lets the kids drive them off. (Cara finally gets him to admit that her buying them Space Nerf Guns was a good idea.)

(I just fucking lose it every time I think of the big bad stoic introverted bounty hunter having to deal with Stereotypical Suburban Situations.)

OG Yodito develops a dramatic streak due to his insecurity over keeping a hold of his dad’s attention. He stubs his toe and he’s wailing and limping over like he’s broken his leg. Fortunately a few minutes of Dad Time usually solve the issue. Din absolutely knows he’s faking, but lets it slide because he knows how important special attention is to his eldest bean.

Anytime Din actually has to put his foot down and discipline OG Yodito, OG tends to dramatically sob and wail and run to the nearest flat surface and throw himself down and cry. Din feels so torn - he knows discipline is important and necessary, but it breaks his heart to see his little one so wounded by it, but also the tantrum is so overdramatic it’s straight-up hilarious. (It never lasts long anyway. The first few times it worked and made Din apologize and hold OG, but once Din stopped falling for it, it just became a token protest against the absolute horror of having his behavior corrected.)

Cara complains endlessly about having to spend sooooo much time on the kids, she doesn’t do the baby thing, etc. Almost as much time as she spends starting water gun fights, teaching them songs and chants her shocktrooper group used to use (because watching Din try to cover 101 kids’ ears at the same time while yelling at her is really funny), and all sorts of other cool stuff that Din would not let them do but if she does it just sighs.

They’re kids, so they don’t have a lot of discretion, but there is one thing the 101 have a silent pact on. Once Din took off his helmet and revealed his ridiculously small and out-of-proportion ears, oversized nose, the weird fuzzy hairs all over his face, his strange tiny eyes, and the fact that he wasn’t even green, the 101 all collectively decided that he is their dad and they love him anyway and will never, ever tell him that he is ugly as sin and just as weird-looking as all the other humans. He’s still the best dad ever....but now they know why he wears a helmet.

Ika’ika, the tiniest and last clone, was underdeveloped and weak while stuck in a plain box cradle at the lab, but completely blooms under Din’s care. Before you know it he’s crawling....and what do you know, the tiniest Yodito is also the best escape artist and the best hider. (Din frequently has to employ the older ones to track him down.) He also likes napping in any random thing he can find - Din’s helmet, a caf mug, any nook and cranny on the ship. Din found him sleeping in a speeder engine once and kept Ika’ika in a carrier on him for the next week.... until Ika’ika finally managed to escape that too.

The carrier is supposed to be mainly for the little ones who can’t walk well enough to really keep up with their older siblings or at all, but in practice everyone demands Carrier Rides while rubbing in their siblings’ faces that it’s THEIR turn to be carried by Dad.

Din: I need more arms Cara: Don’t you have a full blaster cabinet? Din: No not those arms the kids all want to be held and I only have two arms and 101 kids

#this au is 1% plot and 89% you know what would be funny/cute/interesting #and 10% The Reality of Childcare for 101 Children in Space #101 yoditos au #the mandalorian

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 3 years

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If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Sixty

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 20th, 2002

Emile redid the math, looking over the numbers over and over again. It was possible. He’d have to be smart about investing money to get the extra funds he needed, and he’d have to skimp and save every last penny he could, but by the end of the year, he’d be able to buy a shop. If Remy agreed, they could make it so he could start his own shop. Emile would buy the property, but the rest could be all Remy’s.

There was the matter of getting this done without Remy being the wiser, however. If Remy caught on to what Emile was doing he’d insist that Emile save the money for something else. But if he got Remy to save his money, and Emile saved his own, they could do this. They could get Remy an epic origin story that rivalled the greats in the comics.

April 11th, 2002

Emile checked the time he had left on the computer at the library. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it should be enough. He had been looking into this off and on for months, saving away most of his extra funds that didn’t go to dates purely to fund this crazy adventure. He googled private investigators in the area, looking around to make sure Remy wasn’t nearby. He opened his email account and looked through the listings, finding the one he had looked up before and found good reviews from. He copied the investigator’s email address into the computer and composed a quick email, asking about discreteness and the rate that the guy charged.

He knew it might take a couple days for the guy to get back to him, so he logged off the computer and blew out a breath. He doubted the man would say no, and he had a good record of finding people who had supposedly dropped off the face of the Earth. But Emile still worried. After all, PI’s could get very expensive very quickly, and Emile didn’t have access to his trust fund until the third of May.

Determination still drove him to send the email, though. Emile knew that this could work. It might take a while, but it could be done. If anyone could find Toby, it was this Dice character. He had a good eye, and he knew how to use it to find a trail. The reviews Emile had found said as much, at any rate.

He walked out of the computer room with a sigh. He could come back tomorrow and see if Dice had replied, but Emile wished he didn’t have to wait in limbo.

Remy bounded over to him with excitement in his eyes, and Emile smiled. Remy was growing bouncier as time went on. The holidays were mere memories by this point, there were no huge, groundbreaking milestones to stress either of them out, it was just...quiet. They were free to be weird, to be excited, to be however they wanted. And Remy seemed to get bouncy whenever he found something he particularly liked, which tended to be a new recipe book, or an idea for coffee that Remy had never considered before. Sure, he would still get excited over comics, but there weren’t too many comics at the library, so Emile suspected it was one of the former things that had Remy hyped up. “What did you find this time, Rem?” Emile asked with a good-natured laugh.

“I found a book on the history of the uses of caffeine in the science section!” Remy exclaimed, dragging Emile to his table. “It’s super cool!”

“Since when do you browse the science section?” Emile asked.

“Since I was bored looking at mystery novels, wandered around, and ended up there. My eyes found this, and I’ve been taking a look through it, and it’s amazing! Did you know that caffeine is actually supposed to be a poison? That’s why you can’t feed it to animals! Humans are just weird enough that we can consume it and not get hurt!” Remy’s eyes lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July. “Like, science and history? Usually not my thing, if I go into nonfiction usually it means I’m looking for recipes, but this is so cool! Coffee beans have been used for centuries, if not millenia! How crazy is that?! Coffee comes all the way from Ethiopia, and now it’s used all over the world! It’s...I just...it’s so cool, Emile!”

“I know that,” Emile said, grinning. “Purely by your enthusiasm. I’ve never seen you this excited, not even over comics!”

“I never got to learn interesting things in school,” Remy said. “Even in college, I knew everything they were teaching me, but I never knew about this stuff before!”

Emile just nodded along patiently. “You know, if I had known you’d get this excited about learning things you wanted to learn about, I would have insisted we make regular trips to the library forever ago. Do you want to make them weekly, now?”

Remy’s eyes were wide. “Oh, could we? I doubt this is the only book about this sort of thing here, I bet I could find all sorts of cool stuff in the history section, and learn how they used to use coffee and the like in Ye Olden Times, maybe improve or work on some of those ideas until I can make them function, do you have any idea how cool that would be?!”

“It would be amazing,” Emile said with a laugh. “You know, though, you might have to save more of your money if you want to experiment with that sort of thing. We might not go out on so many dates.”

“I don’t care,” Remy breathed. “If I saved money, I could discover dozens of new recipes with good ingredients! I could almost open my own shop if I figured out those sorts of things!”

“That would be amazing,” Emile said with a grin. “Just remember, you don’t want to save up just enough to experiment and then not have any extra funds to repeat what you did and get that good sort of food again!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remy agreed. “I’ll probably be saving up for several months, just to be sure.”

“Yeah, like...hold off until around...say, six months from now? Then experiment to your heart’s content. And don’t forget to keep track of what works and what doesn’t!” Emile said.

“I know, Emile, it’s my system,” Remy said, grinning.

“I know you know, but a reminder never hurts,” Emile said with a shrug. “Anyway, I’ve done what I came to do, papers are finished, research is done, and I even got to send out a couple emails to friends. You ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure,” Remy said, closing the book and leaving it on the table.

They walked out into the parking lot and Emile laughed as it started to rain. “April showers,” he said.

“We live in the city, Emile, how many May flowers can there possibly be?” Remy asked.

Emile shrugged. “The first half of the rhyme applies, at least,” he said. “Still want to head to the shelter today?”

“Can we at least drive and park nearby? I don’t want to get absolutely drenched in the walk from home there, and then dry off only to get drenched again on the walk back,” Remy said.

Emile rolled his eyes up in thought and his fingers twitched. “I’m not sure what parking lots are near the shelter, do you know?”

“Yeah, I know a couple,” Remy said.

“Cool,” Emile said, tossing Remy the car keys and getting in.

Remy fell into the driver’s seat and he stuck the keys in the ignition, but he didn’t move beyond that. Emile glanced over. “You good, Rem?”

“Yeah,” Remy said, starting to life and starting the car. “Just thinking.”

“About anything in particular?” Emile asked.

Remy turned slightly red. “Toby,” he admitted. “I’m just wondering what he would think about me doing these sort of things with you. If he’d approve.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Emile asked.

Remy sighed. “For all his protection and love, he still sometimes doesn’t understand certain things. Like, he gave me ‘The Talk’ when I told him I was gay. But he’d still make jokes in poor taste about gay or trans people. He understands that homeless people aren’t all homeless just because they’re lazy and can’t find a job, but he’s not proactive when it comes to helping them. He’s...not our parents, but he has some bad habits. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him! And he’s definitely gotten better the few times I would take him aside and explain why he shouldn’t say certain things. Fact remains that he’s got some views that aren’t...up to date.”

Emile didn’t know how to respond to that. Did that mean that Toby was actually like Remy’s parents? Did he hurt Remy, but Remy was so wrapped up in the fact that Toby kept him physically safe that he disregarded any emotional damage? “Do you think he’s capable of change? Realistically speaking.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Remy agreed. “I’ve seen him change myself. From constantly making gay jokes when he was a kid to showing me compassion when I came out, all because one or two of his friends wound up being gay. He’s capable of change, for sure. He just...doesn’t always think about whether or not he should change if something doesn’t immediately affect him or the people he cares about. He’s not like my parents, Emile.”

“I never said he was,” Emile said.

Remy glanced at him. “I know you were thinking about it, though. It’s not a big deal, you’re concerned for me and you didn’t directly call Toby a bad person. You checked to make sure he wasn’t like my parents before making a decision. I appreciate that.”

Emile nodded. “Of course. I try not to make snap judgements about people, but I did realize I made more snap judgements than I thought, especially when we talked about your parents. Now, I try and make it a point to gather information to make an informed decision, rather than just listening to one side of the story and making plans and expressing feelings based only on that.”

“Huh,” Remy said. “You’re capable of change, too. Nice to know.”

“Did you think I wasn’t?” Emile asked, confused.

“Not particularly,” Remy said, “But it’s always nice to have confirmation.”

Emile nodded, and when Remy parked in a lot that was just a block from the shelter, Emile arched his eyebrows. “I didn’t realize this lot was that close,” he said.

“This may be a city, Emile, but it’s a small one. I know my way around it pretty well,” Remy said, getting out of the car.

Emile grabbed Remy’s hand as they walked to the shelter. “One of the many things I love about you,” Emile said. “You’re incredibly smart.”

“I’m not,” Remy said, turning red. “I know how to use a checkbook, but that’s about it.”

“You’re smart with numbers, and with food, and you enjoy learning, just not conventionally,” Emile said. “You’re sharp, Rem, don’t sell yourself short.”

“Look, Emile, I can’t make a career out of any of those things. And before you mention there are lots of jobs where you need to be good with numbers, I’m not becoming an accountant.”

Emile laughed. “I wasn’t going to suggest that,” he said. “You’d die of boredom doing someone else’s financials within weeks. And I like you alive, thank you very much.”

Remy shook his head with a grin. “I don’t know what you see in me, Emile.”

“A brilliant man with a heart of gold who just has a little problem with expressing himself,” Emile said. “Someone who cares for people once he gets to know them, but is also pragmatic in how, exactly, he goes about helping those in need of advice. You make sure that you’re taken care of before you help others, and you keep my bleeding heart in check. You’re my partner in crime, my partner in general, and I couldn’t be happier about that fact.”

Remy was as red as a tomato and he groaned. “Emile,” he complained. “I can’t be blushing when we get to the shelter, it’ll ruin my cool image!”

Emile laughed. “Rem, since when have you ever had a cool image there? You may be the top chef, but all the kids know you’re smitten for me, the adults know that you can help with financials and will at the drop of a hat if they merely ask. They know you’re nice.”

“Nice and cool are not mutually exclusive,” Remy retorted. “The kids have called me cool before, but if I show up with a huge blush over my face, they might see through the ruse!”

“And what would they see if they saw through it?” Emile asked.

“A gay disaster,” Remy deadpanned.

Emile burst out laughing. Remy always knew exactly what to say.

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep

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saltyfrieswhywontandusernamework · 4 years

Text

Anna West was a normal- well average young woman. I was the First and BEST female mechanic in town. I just got back from fixing her friend Genreals car. And I noticed someone standing in front of my cousin Skys Bakery. "It smells good right,? Tastes the part too!" I says popping up behind the short person. They jumped at My sudden appearance. They seemed to take in my appearence. "Hello there! I didn't see you there." They say. I laughed this person was definetly new. "Well, that means your are new in town as there's barely a person that doesn't know of Anna West!" I say proudly. "Hello Anna, I am Deer and as you said, I am new in town!"

"Knew It!" I say clapping my hands

"If you don't mind me asking, why isn't there a person in town that doesn't know you?" Deer asks

"Not only am I the first female mechanic in town, I am also the best!" I say

"Really!?" They say amazed

"Absolutely!" I say nodding.

There was a short silence that was ened by Deer when they asked: "So why are you here at the bakery?"

I smiled before answering, "My cousin owns this place! She is the best baker in town! I love all of her honey-based pastries, which is all of them!" I say giving her the reason behind the name.

We stood in silence which was broke by the sweet voice of my cousin Sky Moone saying: "I see you brough someone with you, Anna!" Sky was a short woman with blonde hair tied into a low bun. She wore a white dress shirt and a navy blue, knee length skirt. She also wore a bee pin on the shirt, white stockings, and black shoes. She wore her wedding ring as well.

"Hello there!" She said walking over to us, "I am Sky Moone, and I am the owner of this bakery."

"Hi! I am Deer!"

"What brings you here to Bee-lightful?" Sky asked giving Deer a sweet smile.

"Oh, I was hoping to get something for Lily Rust." Deer says. Sky smiled recognizing the name. I wasn't suprised everyone knew and liked Sky, it was a small town afterall.

"Oh! I know her! She always comes on Sundays for the special!" Sky says clapping her hands and giving us a gentle smile. You want to know the Sunday special? Well you see for every day of the week there is a special for that day. Sunday- Honey Bee Cupcakes, Monday- Honey Muffins, Tuesday- Honey Bee Cookies, Wensday- Honey Donuts, Thursday- Honey Beignets, Friday- Honey Roll, Saturday- Honey Cake.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Deer says: "Well, can I have the special? I want to bring her something special." Deer says smiling.

"Of course! And Anna, do you want the usual?" She asks me.

"Sure thing, cuz!" I say giving her a thumbs up.

Sky gave us her usual gentle smile and walked to the back of the bakery. The two of us sat in silence. I thought about visiting my friend Dead afterwards. I was brought back to reality when I saw Sky had returned with a box of pastries. Deer smiled at her in return. "Thank you so much!" Dear said, "And how much will that be?"

"It will be 5 dollars!"

Deer handed the money over to my cousin and takes the box from SKy. They were waving goodbye when I yelled: "HEY DEER!"

They turned around and looked at me. I smiled before saying, "If you are nervous, don't be afraid to come to us. You have to remember that nothing bad happens in this town!"

They smiled once more. "Thank you!" They say before closing the door.

"Anna I'm going to go get my mail, would you like to accompany me?" Sky asks me. "Of course!" I say as we walk out the door. "We should do some clothes shopping, I've been thinking about getting a new dress." Sky says as we walked on the gravel path. When we got to the mail box, Sky picked it up and we walked back. When we got back she looked through each and every letter before stopping at one. I knew just from her face it was from her Wife, Abi Moone. Abi was a writer who was currently overseas. She opened it delicately like it was a fragile piece of glass. As she read it her smile grew and she blushed a bit. I looked over her shoulder and read the letter.

My Dearest, Sky

How are you dear? I hope the bakery isn't to much work by yourself! I myself am doing wonderful but alas, Paris would be so much lovelier if you were here beside me, The beauty of this city an not compare to your angelic looks. I've been getting so many ideas for my books! Paris is truley an amazing city. But my dear no place could be better than being with you my love. For I am waiting day and night for when I can hold you in my arms again. I will most definetly bring you a recipe for macarons.

With most Love,

Abi Moone

"Aw how cute!" I say. Sky giggled. "Well I'm going to go visit Dead!" I say. "Bye Sky!" I say walking out the door. I walked through the town seeing so many people I knew. I see Deads house and walk to the front porch and knock on the door. The door opens and I see Dead, "Anna! Its so wonderful to see you!" She says hugging me. "Its great to see you as well!" I exclaim smiling at her. She lets me in and we walk to her library. I sat on the Velvet couch and she sat in the armchair she had a notepad and a pencil. "Any new stories to share?" She askes me her eyes sparkling with intrest. "Yup!" I say popping the "p". "A few days ago I was swimming in Hellen lake when a croc came by and tried attacking me, So I wrestled him and swam off." I say proudly. "I'm not suprised you did." Dead says snorting. "Oh yeah! I also threw a dictionary at my enemy when they said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I then yelled "HOWS THAT FOR WORDS HURTING YOU DUMBASS!" Sky bailed me out." I shrug. Dead laughed "I mean you proved that they're sentence was incorrect!" She says laughing. "How does Sky even have the money to bail you out still?" She asks wiping a fake tear from her eye. "Skys wife is a famous writer and poet but more famous as a poet, With her most famous Poem being Angel that is my Wife." I say. "Oh! Right forgot!" Dead says rubbing the back of her head. "Its Okay Dead." I say smiling at her.

Later

Dead and I were walking to the bakery mainly because Dead and I were chaotic so Sky would be worried if we did something stupid. Since I'm a total dumbass that is really fucking hard. Sky was sweeping the shop while listening to music, She was always a good singer. "Hey cuz!", I say "Dead is gonna stay over because were writing a story!" I say. Sky gives us both a sweet smile. "Of course he can stay! Have you two eaten?" She asks. "No but it o-" Dead starts before Skys eyes widen. "Oh dear! You need food to stay strong and healthy you two! I'll cook something up right away!" She says panicked she ran to the kitchen. Her house is also her bakery and I live here to sometimes. "Shes such a innocent bean...." Dead sighs smiling. "Don't underestimate her thoough, she'd make a terrifying leader." I say. "Anyways lets go to the roof!" I say. The roof was covered by a glass dome, it was basically a relaxing place. I took out our writing tools and sat down. "Ok so what about a story where kingdoms exist and etc!" Dead says. We talked for 20 minutes when Sky yelled: "Dinner is ready you two!"

After eating Sky led us to my room and a guest bedroom. "Make yourselves at home!" She says flashing a smile. "Thank you Ms.Moone!" Dead says. "Dead I've told you before, please just call me Sky!" Sky says. "Right sorry!" Dead apolgizes. "Its ok!" Sky says. "Anyways its 10pm you should both head to bed." Sky says. "Goodnight!"I say walking to my room and laying on my soft bed before lulling slowly to sleep

@skyliecrescents @the-undead-writer-and-artist @theundertalehuman @cd-a-deer @lowkeyjustvibing

#town of suwali #town of salem #Anna West #Sky Moone #Anna is a florida woman #Bee-lightful #Sky is an angel that needs to be protected #They/Them pronouns for Deer ONLY #She/her for both Anna and Sky #Sky is a Bicon #Town of Hellen #Deer #Lily Rust #Abi Moone #Dead

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nightwitchwriter · 4 years

Text

Christmas Chapter

To those that have been reading my story, I apologized for being so late with my recent works. I managed to finish the other two on Christmas and this one before New Years. So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Nick’s POV

I walked into the kitchen to be greeted by a giant basket filled with pears and a box filled with pear based foods, like pie, cobbler, juice, even jelly beans, which Molly was stuffing herself with.

“Where did the pears come from?”

“Faye bought them!” Molly, mouth stuffed of jelly beans

“She did?”

“Both her and her father.” mom, who came from the next room. “Molly, leave some for the rest of us.”

I stared at the packages, uncertain about its products.

“Why pears?”

“Why don’t you ask?” mom asked playfully before walking into the kitchen.

The next day, I went to the Black Cat Cafe, carrying a bag. When I walked in, it was semi-busy, with many of the tables full.

“Hello Nick.” Mrs. McCalmont, from behind the counter.

“Hi, Mrs. McCalmont. Is Wil home?”

“No, she’s helping me with a delivery. Is something wrong?”

“Uh, no, um, here.” I handed her a bag of apples. “Mom says thanks for the pears.”

“Oh your welcome. Thank you.”

As she took the apples, I struggled to ask my question, even though it may sound rude.

“Uh, what are the pears for?”

“For the 12 Days of Christmas!” Faye jumped from behind the counter, surprising me.

“12 days of Christmas? As in the song?” I questioned “So, in the place of Christmas?”

“Oh no we celebrate Christmas. Think of it as a Christmas tradition. It gets everyone in the Christmas spirit.”

“Does everyone on Arcanos do it?” Looking around, making sure no one heard me.

“You can talk about Arcanos. There’s no rule about it not talking about it. Watch. ARCANOS!”

Everyone in the cafe turned to look at us.

“Faye, stop that.” scolded Mrs. McCalmont. “If it makes you feel better, we can go into the kitchen?”

I nodded and followed them into the cafe kitchen, where I saw stuff moving by itself. The food was cooking and wrapping themselves. I saw tiny fairies flying around the kitchen as well as multiple ovens and stoves, six at least. I could smell bread baking, chocolate melting and meat roasting.

“Wow.” I looked at the whole room in amazement. One of the fairies came up to him and landed on his shoulder. She looked at him curiously.

“I hope the fairies aren’t a health code violation.” I joked

“Those aren’t fairies. They’re pixies.” explained Faye “Fairies are much bigger.”

“I see.” I looked back at the kitchen. “It’s like Merlin’s spell from the Sword in the Stone.”

“It's something similar.” Mrs. McCalmont answered, putting the apples in the center table. “It makes work a bit easier.”

“So how does the 12 days of Christmas work?”

“Well, like the song, it lasts for 12 days, from the 12th to the 24th. For each day of Christmas, we gift that theme of the day. Like, a partridge in a pear tree.” she explained

“So, like you give out pear based presents?”

“Exactly. When I married my husband, we carried the tradition to his family, then decided to use it for the cafe as well.”

“Wow. So, if yesterday was pears, then today would be-”

“Doves!” exclaimed Faye

“Doves? Like turtle doves?”

“Uh-huh. Last year, my aunt gave me actual turtle doves.” she bragged

“Really?”

“No, she didn’t. Don’t tease him like that, or you won’t get any presents from Santa.” Mrs. McCalmont scolded

I chuckled to myself. Felicity is the same age as Faye, but doesn’t believe in Santa anymore. “You still believe in Santa?”

“Of course I do. Why should I not?”

“Because your getting older.”

“These pixies are real.” she pointed out. “So why shouldn’t Santa?”

She had me there. I glared at the pixie on my shoulder giggling at me.

“So for the second day, what should I give?”

“Why? You want to give my sister a gift?” Faye grinned “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…”

“What? No! I just saw Wil give something to Maddy today and yesterday. So, I was wondering, since its Christmas season.” For some reason, my cheeks were getting warm. Am I blushing? Why am I blushing?! Why does

“So what should I give her? And Maddy?”

“Well, the most common gifts would be turtle candies, dove chocolates, dove products or ornaments.” answered Mrs. McCalmont.

“That’s it?”

“Well, unless you have enough money to get her actual turtle doves…” she smirked “Oh, speaking of which…”

She went to the fridge and took out a paper bag. She gave it to me and I looked inside to see individually wrapped chocolate turtles inside.

“No one in your family is allergic to pecans right?” she gently asked

Christmas may be the time of generosity, but this is surprisingly generous.

Will’s POV

For the past couple of days, I’ve been getting presents. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s Christmas season of course, but…

“Maybe you have your own Santa Claus?” questioned Maddy

We were walking through the downtown area of the town, in Arcanos. Like in Harry Potter, many of the lights and lighted ornaments were floating in mid-air.

I’ve been getting 12 days of christmas presents, but they aren’t from anyone I know. Why? Because I’ve been finding them, somehow in my locker. The same happened with Maddy, but the gifts were different.

On the 3rd day, she got 3 hen and chicks succulent plants, while I got French perfume. 4th day. She had a birdhouse, feeder, braille book and birdseed ornaments delivered to her house. I got cell phone accessories, including a diy phone case. 5th day. Five donuts were at Maddy’s desk. I got 5 rings, two hoops and a ring. 6th day. She got a recipe for eggnog, while I got chocolate creme eggs. By the 6th day, enough was enough.

“Like a Secret Santa? No way. Who would want to be secret Santas with me?” I questioned her

“Speaking of which, does Santa really exist in Arcanos?” she asked

“In a manner of speaking, yes. He’s more of a spirit now, than an actual person.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.”

“And you know those snow globes from the movie Rise of the Guardians? There’s actual snow globes like them?”

“Really? That’s so cool!” Maddy thought for a minute. “So you really don’t know who’s been giving you those gifts?”

“I have an idea.”

“Nick?”

And this is why she is my best friend.

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Remember that bet we made on my birthday? He’s trying to romance me, like he does for Heather. I saw him giving her an “early” Christmas present. A plush reindeer.”

“So you aren’t upset that he’s courting you, even though he's dating Heather?”

“Not really. It’s not so bad.” I winked at her. “Plus, we're getting free stuff out of it right?”

“Hm. Good point. But are you going to get him something?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I got some ideas.” I grinned evilly

“Ooh, can I help? He gave me stuff too.” Maddy volunteered. I grinned.

“Hmmm, fair enough, alright. Come on, let’s come up with some ideas.”

On the 7th day, which was for swans, I left something in Nick’s locker, before quickly heading in the direction of mine. I turned the corner and waited until Nick came. Maddy stood next to me. After a few minutes, Nick came in with his group of friends.

“Is he here yet?”

“Yeah. Shh!”

We, well I, watched as Nick opened his locker, and a giant, white inflatable pool swan blew up in his locker. I used big magic to make it bigger. It bursted the door opened, surprising them and everyone else in the hallway. It kept growing and nearly filled the whole hallway. And here’s the best part. It fell right on top of Nick. I could barely contain myself.

“What happened?”

“It fell on top of him.”

Maddy started to chuckle too.

“Come on, let’s go.”

We hurried away to our lockers, then classes before anyone noticed.

Nick’s POV

I. Am going. To kill. Her. I don’t care what type of magic she used, I know she put that stupid swan in my locker. I even got in trouble with it. Twice! It made me late for class, since it took 15 minutes to deflate it.

What the hell?

I was trying to be nice and give her presents, and Maddy too, not because of that stupid bet, because its Christmas! Aren’t you supposed to give presents to each other on Christmas?

Fine. If she wants to be naughty, I’ll show her naughty. Ugh. That did not sound right.

Later that day, I watched Wil as she got closer to her locker.

“Uh, Nick?” I turned around to see Dylan. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh!”

I motioned him over, and we watched as Wil opened her locker and then- boof!

A small explosion of black power and black feathers covered Wil and some parts of Maddy!

“Wh-what the?”

“What happened?” asked Maddy

Me and Dylan quickly went behind the wall before we were spotted. We could barely contain our laughter.

“Holy Shit!” laughed Dylan

“How’s that for a black swan?”

“Are you out of your mind? You just pranked the Wicked Witch of Willow High.”

“I know. Just a little payback.” I turned to look at him. “Want to help me out with the next one?”

“Oh heck yes.”

The next few days continued as followed: on the 8th day, Wil got pelted with milk balloons, while Nick smelled like camebre cheese, after finding them in his pockets every five minutes. The 9th day, Nick’s locker was filled with ballet items, while Wil was scared by red dancing shoes. The 10th day, both found frogs and toads in their personal items. Wil in her book bag, Nick in his pants while in the bathroom. On the 11th day, Wil was scared by a sudden piercing from a recorder while in the bathroom, and the same goes for Nick while answering his phone. On the 12th day, Wil was woken by the sound of drums from metal rock, while Nick was kept up all night because of it.

Wil’s POV

“That’s it! No more pranks!” scolded Mom. I was keeping the pranks on Nick a secret from her, but she managed to find out. “It’s Christmas Eve! Now make up and give him a present as an apology and a sign of actual good will.”

“But mom,...” I didn’t want to, but… I really don’t want to.

“Do it or no Christmas.” threatened my dad

I groaned. Missing Christmas is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. I know there are thousands of people who have no choice but to miss Christmas, but its not fair for me either.

“At least call a truce for Christmas.”

I sighed. “All right. No more pranks.”

“And give him a present he’ll like, nothing cheap!”

The night before Christmas, and all through the night. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. And it was freaking cold! I got Nick’s stupid present, but I couldn’t give it to him at school. I wanted to drop it off at his house and that’ll be it, but my parents would not accept it. Dad even threatened to call them on Christmas, just to make sure I gave him the present. So, I’m here on my broom, at his house, at night, in the freezing cold! I clutched the present closer to my chest, debating whether this a good or bad idea. Groaning, I lowered myself towards his room window.

Also, if you all are wondering how I knew where Nick’s home or even his room is, thank Dalia, due to her mischief.

I knocked on the window with the curtains closed.

“Nick!” I quietly yelled, to prevent anyone seeing me.

I didn’t hear any movement, but the lights were on.

“Nick!”

Nothing. I reached into my pocket, and took out a hag stone. A hag stone is a stone that has a natural hole inside them. Depending on how or where the stones were formed, by looking through the holes, you could see various things. The one I have is similar to the one in Coraline. So think of the had stone as x-ray vision goggles.

I looked through it and could see past the house walls. I saw Nick in his bed, sleeping.

I knocked on the window again.

“Nick!”

Seeing that he wasn’t waking up, I tapped the window lock twice.

“Tick tock. Break the lock.”

The window unlocked and opened itself, and I climbed in.

His room is surprisingly clean, for a high school boy. I saw him in his bed and walked over to wake him. His snoring is as loud as a high school boy. I shook him as hard as I could.

“Nick! Nick! Niiiccckkkk!”

After some groans, Nick managed to slowly open his eyes. His eyes widened quickly when he saw that I was in his room.

“Holy freaking crap!” he yelled as he scrambled away from me. I just smiled.

“Merry Christmas!” I smirked

“What are you doing in my house?! How’d you get into my house?!”

“Magic. Duh.”

“How’d you even know where I live?”

“Dalia. Duh. Anymore questions?”

He was silent for a moment, before asking, “What are you doing here?”

“Come outside.”

“It is freezing outside. And it’s Christmas Eve. If this is another prank, can it wait until morning?”

“It’s not a prank. My mom wants us to call a truce for Christmas, so truce?” I ask while holding out my hand.

Nick looked at my hand, suspicious and hesitating for a bit, before taking my hand.

“Fine, truce.”

“Good. Now come outside. I have a present for you.”

A few minutes later, we were both outside in the cold. After explaining that I got him a gift, it turns out he got me one too. Then we both stood there awkwardly for the next few minutes.

“So, want to open them now?” Nick asked

“Ehhh, it kind of goes against my tradition of opening presents before Christmas. You?”

“Not my tradition.”

He quickly went to open his present.

“Woah, a toy motorcycle. Cool.”

“Press the button.”

He looked confused.

I took the toy, pushed the button, then put it on the street and stepped back. Moments later, it quickly grew in size to a rideable size. The look on Nick’s face shows that I gave him the right gift.

“I heard from Felicity that you got your motorcycle license, so I got you this.”

Remember the boat from Ponyo? There’s a toy company in Arcanos that makes toys inspired by the film. Cost a lot, but not as much as a regular motorcycle.

“What do you think?”

The next thing I knew, he was hugging me. An actual, no hesitation hug.

“Thanks.” he whispered

Turns out, he was saving money for a motorcycle, but wasn’t close yet. With this, he doesn’t have to save anymore. But for some reason, he now didn’t want to give me my present. He tried to take it back, but after some tugging, I won. I decided to leave before he tries to take it again, but before I did, I showed him how to make it small again. Before I flew away, I watched Nick go back inside and shut the window I opened.

The next day, on Christmas, I opened Nick’s present first. It was a ugly Christmas sweater, with a witch in a Santa dress and hat, on a broom, with a bag of presents behind her, flying through the night sky. A ugly Christmas sweater that's witch themed. After opening the rest of my presents, it was the only thing I didn’t have anything to say about. But, I wore it on the first day back at school.

#finally #merry christmas #happy new year

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Note

See I think the problem is sweden is just.. cold amshnsdhdj we can’t really grow spices here so throughout the times it’s just been salt and pepper (until we started importing spice from the colonies like we thought we were the brits lmao) but traditional swedish food is like??? Potatoes and meatballs with lingonberry jam and sometimes you make the sauce out of the fat you fried the meatballs in and it’s gross. I’ve never been to Germany actually but that restaurant sounds disgusting I’m so sorry what are they doingggg. THANKFULLy we have so much food imported from pretty much everywhere that most people’s favourite foods is almost always something that didn’t originate here. Like tacos!! It’s a staple in pretty much any household here, at least where I grew up, and one of my friends is obsessed with Indian food, specifically vindaloo which is so so spicy but so good. As for the cream cheese sushi, at the restaurant here they put it in the maki rolls with veggies and a piece of omelet, i cannot stress how good it is ahaha. I love food so much!!! I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything Brazilian specifically, but since we’re talking about it I’m really curious. If you have a specific dish or anything you think I should try let me know!! I’m gonna ask google but it’s always fun to get tips from someone who is living with the culture behind it and everything!! - salmon anon (salmnon? salmanon? Swenson? I actually wrote swenon but my phone corrected me so I’m leaving it skhdkshd)

aaaa okay so when it comes to brazilian food you gotta understand that there’s...... so much stuff. our cuisine is super varied and rich and there’s just... a lot. so it all depends on what strikes your fancy. but i have a few suggestions, although keep in mind that again, brazilian cuisine is varied and rich and it’s a big country, so i have the mos contact with food from my region (the southeast), although i’ve been to the northeast, north, and south as well

so the basis of culinary in most brazilian households is the rice + beans + farofa combo. farofa is basically cassava flour with spices, it is made to add Big Crunch to the meal. we eat that in every meal, except for breakfast. it’s kinda the foundation/pillar of the plate. i do recommend trying it, absolutely. the most likely version of that for you to find is feijoada, which is a little stereotypical as far as brazilian dishes go, but i doubt you’d find regular rice beans and farofa around in a small town in sweden. in feijoada the beans come with pork parts, and it’s black beans, not regular beans. it is also traditionally served with kale and orange slices. it’s really good, personally i love it

[image ID: a plate with kale, rice, farofa (which is sandy-colored and has a grainy consistency), orange slices, and feijoada. end ID]

another great dish worth a try is moqueca. moqueca is (usually) fish/shrimp, coconut milk, dendê oil, bell peppers, and other spices. it takes cilantro so if you are a little bitch, i mean, if you don’t like it, you might skip that one. it is also usually served with farofa or pirão, which is essentially farofa but moist

[image ID: a pot of moqueca. it looks soup-like and has very vibrant colors, particularly red, yellow, ad green. you can see pieces of bell pepper and chopped cilantro in it. end ID]

i do recommend trying anything palm-heart related if you haven’t. palm heart pies are one of my favorite things. and okay i know that you probably won’t be able to find this but i doubt you’ll be able to find most things i’m talking about so i’m just gonna dream big here: catupiry is this kind of brazilian... cream cheese, except it’s creamier and tastier and just superior in general. we love putting it on shit, and when it comes to stuffing, palm heart + catupiry or chicken + catupiry are my favorites

i also love bobó de palmito na moranga, which is essentially palm heart inside very creamy squash. the most common version actually takes shrimp instead of palm heart, but i don’t like shrimp and they’re not super accessible in my city anyway lol

[image ID: a carved pumpkin with shrimp swimming in a creamy mixture of squash, coconut milk, and catupiry inside. end ID]

escondidinho is another great dish. it means “little hidden one” in portuguese and it is cassava puree with dried meat inside, gratinated. there’s also a version with mashed potatoes, ground beef, and tomato sauce, but cassava is better. honestly just go for anything cassava. it’s the basis of native brazilian culinary and it’s fucking delicious. fried cassava, roasted cassava, cassava puree.... if you’ve never had them, they’re like potatoes, but better in every way. and don’t get me wrong, cuz i love potatoes

anything from the state of minas gerais FUCKS and is highly recommendable. tutu de feijão might look bad for a gringo but i promise it’s worth a try. feijão tropeiro is amazing, and chicken with okra is one of my fave brazilian dishes. it’s also easy to make so you can make it at home, even. just don’t forego the rice beans and farofa. my eastern european friend had never seen okra so if you look it up, no, that is not pepper. it’s not spicy. seriously i know yall are afraid of everything but it’s not

as for snacks! one of the greatest institutions in brazil is coxinha. coxinha is a potato-based batter stuffed with chicken (and usually catupiry as well although coxinha without catupiry is also commonly found) and deep fried. you cannot have a kids party and not serve it, it is absolutely essential. but it is also eaten as a regular snack commonly. it is super good, everyone loves it, and i highly recommend

[image ID: a plate of coxinhas. they are round-ish thingies with a “beak” on top, making it look almost like a pyramid. they are orange-golden in color and have a distinctly deep fried texture. end ID]

another great institution is pão de queijo, which i’ll admit i’m not a fan of because i don’t like cheese (catupiry doesn’t count) but i can’t just forego mentioning it. it takes polvilho, which is tapioca (which is a derivation of cassava, i’ll get there in a minute) flour, with cheese, basically. it gets a fluffy consistency that is hard to describe and that many people love. it is most traditional in the state of minas gerais, but you can find it all over brazil and also in other places in south america although recipes vary

[image ID: a bowl of pão de queijo. they are small, round, and white-ish. they have a very thin hard-looking layer on the exterior, but it also has cracks that make you able to see that the inside is fluffy. end ID]

tapioca! you might have heard of tapioca as the bubbles in bubble tea are made of it. it is a kind of cassava flour, but it’s very different from the cassava flour used to make farofa. it is white in color. you just put that motherfucker in a frying pan (no oil needed) and the grains stick to each other, making a sort of... taco-like thing? it doesn’t taste like a taco but it looks slightly like one. then you just stuff it with Whatever You Want. can be savory or sweet, personally i prefer savory but the "classic” one is coconut and condensed milk. another good stuffing to try is what we call romeu e julieta (literally “romeo and juliet”), which is a cheese that we know as queijo minas, but if you have contact with mexican food you might know as queso fresco, and guava paste. i know it sounds weird which is why it has the name as these two things are not supposed to be together but they go WELL together. romeu e julieta is a common dessert and the basis for thousands and thousands of other recipes in brazil

[image ID: a plate with tapioca. it has the form of a taco, but the “batter” is thinner and white. the inside is coconut and condensed milk. end ID]

speaking of tapioca, DADINHO DE TAPIOCA (tapioca dice) is where shit’s at. it is tapioca flour with cheese rolled into a dice format and fried, served with pepper jam, altho you can forego it, but i DO recommend trying it with the pepper jam. it is not super spicy and so so very good. don’t waste an opportunity to try it

[image ID: dadinhos de tapioca. they are small cubic snacks with a golden color and granulated-looking texture. there is also a little bowl with pepper jam in it. end ID]

and an ESSENTIAL brazilian institution: pastel and caldo de cana. pastel is a flour-based batter with a bit of cachaça (sugarcane liquor) stuffed with Whatever You Want (most common tho are ground beef, and cheese. but personally i’m always a slut for palm heart and there’s a local pizza place near my home that also makes pastel with whatever flavor you could possibly want and broccoli with catupiry pastel? PEAK) and deep fried. it is kinda big for a snack but bro it is so very good. and then we usually have it with caldo de cana, which is sugarcane juice. now, caldo de cana is very sweet, so personally i like to put a little bit of lemon in it, which is how we usually make it in the state of São Paulo, but other states lowkey look down on that (brazilians as a whole have a sweet tooth, many of our desserts are Really Sweet) but they are wrong and we are right. anyway, pastel and caldo de cana are usually served at street markets, so once you are done with your groceries, you can sit down and enjoy some. highly recommended altho again i’ll be surprised if you can find any in sweden. but pastel is not hard to make! caldo de cana is tho, you have to have kind of a machine to extract the juice from it

[image ID: pastel and caldo de cana. pastel is a long, golden-colored, thin rectangle with, in this case, cheese inside. caldo de cana is of a brownish-green with a regular juice consistency. end ID]

onto desserts! an all-time brazilian favorite is brigadeiro. that is condensed milk, butter, and cocoa with chocolate sprinkles, essentially. i recommend using dark chocolate as it is otherwise really sweet but it depends on your tastes. do try it tho

[image ID: brigadeiros. they are little balls completely covered in chocolate sprinkles, each places in a smal paper holder. end ID]

romeu in julieta as i already mentioned is very popular and seriously, give it a try

if you’re into sweet stuff, try rapadura, which is our version of piloncillo. it is like 90% sugar tho so seriously, you gotta like sweets

pé de moleque, which literally translates to “boy’s foot”, is rapadura and roasted peanuts, and it’s one of my all time favorite desserts

[image ID: a plate of pé de moleque. they are thick rectangles with almost entire roasted peanuts parts stuck together by a rich brown sort of batter - rapadura. end ID]

paçoca is also grounded peanuts with a little bit of salt and sugar, usually coming in a cork format. they are absolutely amazing and i can’t recommend them enough

[image ID: paçoca. it literally just looks like a small cork, even the color is similar. looks like something totally underwhelming but i promise you it’s so so very good and worth a try. end ID]

and okay i think that’s what i have!! at least off the top of my head (yeah that’s just what i came up with off the top of my head. like i said. brazilian cuisine is RICH) sorry for the gigantic answer that is probably not very helpful, but welp, now you know what to look for, at least lol also if you’ve followed me for over a year you should have known i would do this. BITCH I’M LATINO FOOD MATTERS TO ME

#brazilian food is delicious i promise promise promise you that you won't regret trying it #if you do try it let me know what you tried and your thoughts!!! seriously it is so rich and good it's impossible not to find something #you'll love #ask #long post #food #swenon

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headoverjojo · 5 years

Note

Aaaaaah I hope I'm not to late! Since it's almost that time of the year, I'd like to request hcs for what presents La Squadra would buy for each other if they did the secret Santa thing. Thanks~

Hiiiii honey!! You’re absolutely in time and aaaaaa a Christmas request, I’m soft :,) Ok so! I apologize if they’re short, but they were a looot! And I hope you��ll like it :3

Secret Santa: Squadra di Esecuzione edition

(Under the cut for length!)

Risotto is a person who values more practice over beauty, so he’d make practical and useful gifts!

To Prosciutto he’d give a pair of elegant cufflinks. Prosciutto uses them a lot, so Risotto is sure he’s going to use them. Plus, Prosciutto is weak for fancy ornaments, so he’d immensely appreciate the gift!

He’d buy for Pesci a set to repair and clean his fishing rod. He knows, as Prosciutto, that Pesci’s secret hobby is to fish, and he’d be prone to encourage him with this activity, as not only it helps Pesci to relax, but it also helps him to better his precision!

He’d give Formaggio a beautiful agenda. It’s mostly a silent warning, as Formaggio is almost always late to meetings, to start to arrive at the right time! Now he has no more excuses: he can write down his duties on his new agenda!

For Melone, he’d buy the most recent biology dictionary. He knows that Melone is fond of biology and medicine and that he also loves to learn new specific terms, so what’s better than a biology dictionary? Melone will love it!

He knows that Illuso likes thrillers -and that he dies of boredom in the mirror world-, so Risotto would buy him a collection of novels that Illuso can keep safe in the mirror world and pick up in case of extreme boredom. Capo’s saved the day!

Finally, he’d get Ghiaccio a new coat. Even if his stand power allows him to freeze things, Ghiaccio is really sensible to cold! In winter he always ends up catching a cold ‘cause he’s too cold. So, nothing better than a new, super warm coat!

Prosciutto is more for classy gifts! Simple but elegant gifts are his trademark and he’s careful to every detail!

For Risotto, he’d buy an elegant fountain pen. A pen with a simple but sharp and elegant design, perfect for a man who has to check and fill in many documents. Risotto’s gonna do it with style!

Knowing Pesci’s passion for ocean creatures, Prosciutto would not buy him anything, instead taking him to the wonderful Genoa’s aquarium. It’s such a wonderful and unforgettable experience for Pesci!

He’d give Formaggio a new gilet, as he firmly thinks that the one he has is too ruined. The new one is basically like the one Formaggio already has, but, of course, new, softer and more beautiful. Assassins, but stylish!

For Melone, he’d buy a sweater, as he always cringes when he sees the skinny man with basically his whole torso exposed even when it gets cold. Even Risotto covers himself when it’s cold! Melone’s going to cover himself as well, and he’ll do with an elegant and warm sweater!

Illuso’s going to get a bag with fancy shampoo, balsamo, and whatever he may need to take care of his hair. Prosciutto knows that hair is important to Illuso, so he’s going to give him the best products!

Finally, for Ghiaccio, he’d buy a new pair of sneakers, Ferrari red as Ghiaccio likes. The ones he has, even if Ghiaccio takes good care of them, are pretty ruined, by now! No better occasion to buy him a new pair of shoes!

Pesci has a kind heart, and his gifts would show his sweetness in the simplicity and the great care he put in them!

He’s buy rock candies for Risotto, or, better, for Metallica beans. He knows the little ones love rock candies and happy beans mean a happier Risotto, and a happy Capo means a better day for everyone!

For Prosciutto, he’d buy something classic: a mug with printed on it “best big brother”. Even if Prosciutto just mutters a barely audible “thanks”, he loves it!! And it shows when, the day after and all the following ones, he goes around with his new mug full of tea or water. He loves it!

He’d give Formaggio a little stock of toys for his cats. He knows that, even if Formaggio calls them “demons with fur”, he dearly loves his cats and wants just the best for them, so what’s better than few new and beautiful toys for them? Happy cats mean happy Formaggio!

Knowing how Melone teach Babyface’s spawns, he’d give him new and educative illustrated children books to use with Babyface’s spawns. He may not approve how his stand works, but this doesn’t mean that he condemns him for this!

Pesci knows that Illuso is from Venezia and, also, that he has, in the mirror world -he has seen it once, when Illuso hosted him for few hours in the mirror world- a small collection of Murano glass figurines. And this is Pesci’s gift! A new, beautiful Murano glass figurine for his collection!

For Ghiaccio, he’d not buy anything, but he’d cook White Album’s favourite dessert: tiramisù. And not a simple tiramisù, but one that follows the recipe Ghiaccio likes the most! For once, Ghiaccio’s not grumbling, but he’s almost… touched. He’d not miss to share it with Pesci too!

Formaggio is one who likes to bring fun also in his gifts. Incredibly, his gifts, even if he likes to think they’re just the shitposting of gifts, are actually appreciated!

For Risotto, he’d buy a plate which says “Boss of the Year”, chuckling to himself while giving him it. Jokes on Formaggio, Risotto actually puts it on his desk and he doesn’t even bat an eyelash when someone asks him about it. He’s pretty content to have it!

He’d give Prosciutto a sleeping mask with golden decorations on it, to mock Prosciutto’s fancy tastes. Prosciutto actually likes it for real and, since he’s really sensible to light when he sleeps, he regularly uses it!

Pesci would get a pineapple themed pijama. He doesn’t expect Pesci to like it nor to actually wear it, but, again jokes on him, the pijama is incredibly comfortable and soft, and the pattern is not even that bad? In the end Pesci likes it!

He’d give Melone a set of various hair dyes, from a forest green to amethyst purple. For once he thinks it’s a really unusable gift, but he has to eat back his words when he sees Melone coming at the following meeting with his hair dyed in a vibrant forest green. Melone loves to change his style!

For Illuso, he’d bought a Michael Jackson figurine, referencing to Illuso’s stand and appearance. He hopes that this could be intendended as a prank, but again, the curse of the well-accepted gift follows him; Illuso likes it a lot!

Finally, Ghiaccio would receive a Carolina Kostner’s biography as gift. He doesn’t know Ghiaccio would react to it, as it’s a clear joke based on his skating stand, but in the end he finds out that Ghiaccio is a sincere Carolina Kostner’s fan and so he appreciates a lot the gift!

Melone, even if everyone’s terrified of the possibility to get a gift from him, actually makes pretty gifts!

For Risotto, he’d buy a new hat. Simple, practical, useful: Risotto uses just one type of hats and god knows how much his hats end up ruined due to too much use. So he gets a new, customized hat with jingle balls and everything else, all for his Capo!

For Prosciutto, he’d buy a fancy necktie. He knows that Prosciutto always wants to look at his best, and what’s better than a perfect necktie to match his elegant suit? Prosciutto doesn’t have a lot of ties, so another one is good!

Pesci is kinda worried when he finds out that he was Melone’s Secret Santa, but he has to eat back his worries when he sees that Melone gave him a wonderful book about sea life, a book he truly wanted to buy since long time. One of the best gifts of the last years!

Formaggio gets a book too: one about cats’ breeds! It’s full of beautiful photos of cats and the various breeds’ descriptions; it’s actually one of Formaggio’s dearest books, as it also contains many advices and suggestions for every specific breed!

Melone wasn’t so creative with Illuso, as he bought him a fancy pocket mirror. It can be useful, however, as Illuso can slide it in his targets’ pockets, by fakingly bumping on them, and then using the mirror to attack them when they expect it the less. Useful and practical!

He’d also go on a safe path for Ghiaccio’s gift too; in the beginning he had thought to buy him a fake gift just for the lolz, but in the end he actually bought him a scarf, as he too knows that Ghiaccio is really prone to get colds and flu and so a scarf is always good for these cold winters!

Illuso loves music, and this reflects also on his gifts, mostly music themed ones!

He’d give Risotto a ticket for a Metallica’s concert during a metal festival. Risotto would be so baffled! How the hell did Illuso manage to get it?! They were basically unobtainable!! Illuso just gives one of his half smiles, saying that someone was in debt with him. If this is true or not, Illuso would never say it.

Prosciutto receives a ticket for a wonderful opera night! This time too Illuso doesn’t explain how and where he got this ticket, saying, again, that someone had to pay a debt and that Illuso asked for a ticket for that exclusive opera night instead of money. Is it true or not? Just Illuso knows.

Pesci gets a beautiful audiobook of sea related novels! Pesci absolutely adores it, it’s so soothing and the novels are so well-written and wonderful! He loves to listen to it before sleeping; it helps him to fall asleep faster and to not have nightmares!

Formaggio loves to listen to music in his own flat, but, alas, his stereo is broken! So there’s no better occasion to buy him a new and cooler one! Formaggio is ecstatic: that stereo is so cool, he can’t be happier!

Melone gets an invitation for a seminary about how music can positively influence children’s learning abilities. Melone is always curious to learn new things about biology and pedagogy, so he’s absolutely enthusiast to have the chance to go to this seminary!

And, finally, Ghiaccio gets a music themed gift too! It’s a vintage record player. Ghiaccio likes music, but he’s a bit fussy about the device used; he’s one of those who prefers vinyls over CDs. Now that he has a good record player, he can listen to music in the right way!

Ghiaccio is not for poetic or metaphorical gifts; his gifts are extremely practical!

For Risotto, he’d buy a new set of razors. He doesn’t care about how Capo’s gonna use them, if to actually shave or to use as “secret weapon” to carry around and to launch with Metallica. What matters is that Risotto’s gonna use them!

Prosciutto’s going to get fancy Cuban cigars. It’s not the healthiest gift, but hey, Prosciutto likes them, so he’s going to certainly use them, which is Ghiaccio’s primary goal. It’s a win-win situation, in the end!

Pesci gets a new fishing rod. The one he has is pretty consumed, by now, so a new one would be better. It’s more efficient, more beautiful and lighter, so Pesci can actually train more comfortably. He’s going to use it a lot, for sure!

For Formaggio he’d buy a cat tower that looks really good in Formaggio’s living room. Maybe, this time, Formaggio is not going to use it, but his cats for sure, so it’s fine anyway! In the end, what matters is that the gift doesn’t go wasted!

Melone gets a new mask. It may not seem such a great gift, but for Melone it is, in fact! He’s really fussy about his clothes, especially the mask, and the one Ghiaccio gave him is soft and comfortable, it’s perfect for him!

Illuso, finally, gets a new big file cabinet to place in the mirror world. Illuso has tons of files, about targets, allies, enemy gangs, he has almost more files than the Squadra Informazioni itself! So, new file cabinets are always well accepted!

#jjba #vento aureo #la squadra di esecuzione #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #melone #illuso #ghiaccio #secret santa #christmas time #headcanons #sfw #giogio-xp

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hollenka99 · 4 years

Text

The One Where Jackie Meets The Others

Summary: Chapter 4. Jackie enjoys a couple trips out with Marvin.

Warnings: death and blood mentions

@bupine @badlypostedeverything

Things don't smoothly transition back to the way they were following that morning. However, they both agreed it was clear Anti's intentions were to divide them. Therefore, it would be dumb to give him that satisfaction. When Marvin asks, out of pure curiosity, about the mullet, Jackie doesn't really have an answer. He'd simply liked the style. But maybe it was time to move on. The chances of him returning to the '80s were particularly slim. With the green having faded weeks ago, he has it cut so it now only reaches his ears. The style is nice but he does miss his old look. He supposes Marvin was pleased with this development. He definitely got a lot of joy from teasing Jackie about how much curlier his shorter hair became following showers. The only quip he has in response is that the hero's hair wasn't much better when wet either. The next thing on the agenda was the excursion to Pizza Hut. The four of them agree to meet on Thursday. In preparation, Marvin offers Jackie a copy of the restaurant's document on allergy information. Marvin faces falls when he learns just how many items he loved posed a certain risk to Jackie's health. Nope, no pepperoni for him. No garlic breadsticks or cheesy fries either. Fried items were a contamination risk too, apparently. He lies when his friend asks about stuffed crust. Jackie trying the crust option was one of the main reasons they'd agreed to visit the establishment. Besides, it wasn't guaranteed it would trigger a reaction. He could possibly get away with sampling a little of Marvin's crust if he didn't push his luck. It is comforting to learn Henrik, the friend who made educational videos for others, had coeliac's disease and therefore had to be wary when eating as well. Jameson was Marvin's cousin of sorts. Their grandmothers had been sisters. Then their mothers were friends, leading to their sons to develop a good relationship while growing up. Jameson was a performer who used his control over time and sound for entertainment purposes. He and Marvin frustratingly run late due to the hero misplacing his wallet. They are apologetic to Henrik and Jameson who have already found a table and ordered drinks for themselves. Jameson has neat brown hair that extends down his face to his jawline and closely surrounds his mouth. Henrik, on the other hand, has black hair which has been swept back as well as glasses. The two of them promise they don't mind the delay. They haven't been here for ages anyway. In time, four pizzas are delivered to the table. There is the pan BBQ americano, gluten free Hawaiian, cheesy bites pepperoni and stuffed crust BBQ beef and onion. Marvin suggests he and Jackie trade a slice. His friend makes a supposedly humourous comment about how he identifies as Jackie's pizza base but it's lost on the former drummer. How someone can deeply relate to dough that's been baked in a pan, Jackie has no clue. He allows Marvin to take a slice regardless. However, when it comes to him returning the gesture, Jackie insists he only wants a little bit of his friend's crust. Half a slice's worth of stuffed crust is placed on top of his own pizza. Jackie regrets it as soon as it enters his mouth. God damn it, it was actually really tasty. He could see why Marvin was so enthusiastic about it. His expression remains neutral as he chews, well aware he has an audience. He hates how disappointed Marvin looks when Jackie gives a bullshit review about the cheese within being too chewy. Allergies and cross-contamination risks fucking sucked. Screw his body for being an asshole who overreacted to a commonly used spice. "Oh well, more for me." Marvin winks as he recovers from the blow before stealing a piece of chicken from Jackie plate. Alright, maybe letting one small inconvenience ruin tonight in his mind was stupid. Marvin had said he'd act as translator. Which was a lovely gesture. Jackie was grateful he was prepared to sacrifice part of his evening to play the middleman so he and Jameson could communicate. Except Marvin got sidetracked at one point and had delved into a whole conversation with his cousin, spoke entirely in BSL. It looked like a funny one too. Jackie was glad the pair were enjoying their evening. He stuck to conversing with Henrik instead. It's a struggle as they don't seem to have much in common. That is until Jackie absentmindedly asked what sort of food Henrik enjoyed. This in turn triggered the German man sitting opposite him to enthuse about fried potato slices with pieces of bacon and onion. Jackie himself launches into a story about how his mother used to work with a woman who had family in West Germany. Then this German colleague would sometimes write down a recipe or two to give to them. In no uncertain terms, those foreign dishes beat jacket potatoes or beans on toast any day. The four men give their stomachs a chance to settle a little while they chat as a group. Then it was time to finish off the night with ice cream shakes. Two strawberries, an oreo and a chocoholic are brought to the table. Although there had been several mentions of what Jameson did for a living, it is only at this point that a proper conversation about is initiated. "Jameson's doing a show on the 4th. I think we should go. What do you say?" Jackie's response is delayed due to Marvin making the suggestion just as he takes a long sip of his strawberry shake. "Oh uh, yeah, sure. What exactly will be in the show? Time stuff, right?" Jameson taps the side of his nose with a wry smile. The younger of the cousins translates this as "I believe he's saying that's for him to know and for you to find out." The performer signs something. "Expect the unexpected." Marvin rolls his eyes with a smile remaining on his face. "Oh yeah, like when you get a younger member of the audience to volunteer for your sound tricks. I once heard Hacker T Dog from CBBC sing Thinking Out Loud, you know. That was an experience." Jameson makes a comment. "I haven't seen the weirdest combinations? Well yeah, I sure hope I haven't. Kids' minds can come up with bizarre things. Henrik, especially, should know that." Henrik nods to this with a sense that this was a profound understatement. The banter carries on and Jackie soon feels like less of an outsider. The ice creams shakes eventually get drained as the evening draws to a close. Once all the goodbyes and "It was nice to meet you"s are over, the tow of them hop into Marvin's car to head home. Bohemian Rhapsody happens to begin playing on the radio as they set off. Jackie doesn't even have to ask before he's turning the volume up for both their benefits. They haphazardly fall into a duet. Jackie's heard Marvin singing absentmindedly to himself before this. He therefore already knows he has a good voice. But it isn't until tonight that he's able to hear it out loud. "I need you to do me a favour. Do you mind headbanging like in Wayne's World?" "What?" "Wayne's World. Never seen the film myself but there's a pretty well known scene where a bunch of them are in the car while this song is playing. Then during the instrumental that's coming up, they really rock out. I've always wanted to do it while in a car but I always seem to be the driver when I get the chance. So do you mind rocking out in a minute on my behalf?" Jackie chuckles. "Sure. My pleasure." As Freddie finishes claiming Beelzebub has a devil put aside for him, Jackie springs into action. He moves his head back and forth in rapid succession to the music. The pair follow along with the next verse as loudly as possible. At least, they attempt to. It isn't long before they have both descended into raucous laughter. "Thanks!" Marvin manages in between breaths when it calms. "We should do that again. With us stationary next time so you can do it too." "Deal." Marvin bursts into laughter once more and Jackie thinks he's growing particularly fond of it. --- Another crime scene, another person fighting to remain alive while bleeding from the neck. Cat is only able to stand by while the paramedics do their job. He'd like to beg them to not take this guy to hospital, to not risk history repeating itself. But it's not like he can ask anyone to skip properly treating the victim. He's sure everyone here knows this situation is a catch 22. However, they can't do anything other than perform their jobs. It takes great deal of convincing but Cat is allowed to stay outside the patient's room for the night. He's been standing guard for a good while when midnight passes. A doctor comes along on her rounds. She speaks to Cat and the other member of security he's been spending the night with. While she's talking, Anti's latest victim begins coding. Any and all resuscitation efforts prove futile. The guy is gone. So is the doctor. If she even existed in the first place. And Cat suspects Anti himself is long gone too. The day afterwards, he catches some reporting of the murder while flicking through channels. The victim has an identity now. There's a name, age and grieving loved ones. The television is bitterly switched off as Marvin searches for his notebook instead. Joining the countless other entries is 27/4/19 - Nick Shaw, 34, wife + 2 little kids The next time he sees Anti, he's not fucking around. Enough was enough. Marvin was putting a stop to this once and for all, by whatever method was necessary. --- The first Saturday of May is a cloudy one. That doesn't stop a crowd from flocking to the Jolly Gentleman's show. Chase is still getting out of the car when Niamh races out, the name Oscar having barely left her mouth before doing so. It is with great relief that Chase witnesses his daughter collide with a familiar man. The pair of single fathers briefly kiss as a part of a greeting while the five year old girl is returned. Her twin sister and older brother hover around as the greetings continue. Eventually, Fletcher drifts into his own group with both of Oscar's boys. The seven of them make their way inside. "So where is this friend of yours?" Oscar asks as they take their seats. "Do you see him?" "Not yet. He should be bringing his new roommate with him." His scanning of the tent is halted. "Speak of the devil." Chase spots Marvin entering the area, along with another man whom his best assumptions identified as Jackie. They seat themselves in the same row as the fathers. The children sit directly in front of the adults. Marvin introduces him to Jackie as Dr Chase Brody, emphasising the title. "I'm just spending the day out with my kids, there's no need to be throwing my doctorate around. Chase." He offers his hand for Jackie to shake. "And this is Fletcher, Ciera and Niamh." Oscar carries on the round of greetings by introducing himself, Milo and Max. They spend a full minute going through the mundane pleasantries before Marvin and Jackie finally stay seated. As the performance begins, Chase relaxes. They'd filled the wait time with small talk and chatter amongst themselves, however, he had intended for today to be a chance to spend time with his partner. He gives Marvin the benefit of the doubt. The thing is, Jackie came across as a decent enough guy. He also understandably seemed a little overwhelmed by the amount of people in the group. If the chit chat served as a distraction, then fine by him. Besides, he only looked like he was in his late teens anyway. They did share a history of drumming when they were younger though which was a nice surprise. That certainly allowed for a whole avenue of conversation. As soon as Jameson emerged to start his performance, the auditory atmosphere changed. There were speakers around the place and at certain points of the show it almost felt as if the sound was travelling around the space as a physical thing. He also seemingly teleported to a different spot than moments before. A woman was completely flabbergasted when she discovered a small thank you card in her handbag that certainly hadn't been there when she arrived with no easy explanation for how it got there. Throughout the performance, one of his colleagues acted as his commentator. Among his other tricks, the Jolly Gentleman sets a row of plants on fire with an elongated lighter. One of his colleagues dramatically shows up with a bucket of water to extinguish it. The performer stops him with a raised hand. He then holds the lighter, still producing a flame, up for the audience. It trails across the plants, erasing any evidence that there had been any combustion taking places. Not a single scorch mark or hint of smoke in sight. A little girl is summoned from the audience. She's about the twins' age, maybe slightly younger. After being asked what her favourite character was (Daddy Pig, of all things) she was encouraged to sing a song she really liked (I'm a Little Teapot). Already familiar with work stories his friend had, he knew what to expect. The crowd was treated to Daddy Pig's rendition of I'm a Little Teapot, complete with actions. Or at least, they were partially treated to it as the volunteer kept giggling into the microphone throughout her performance. It is evident that Jackie is too enthralled by the show to notice the barely subtle yet fond glances in his direction from the one sitting next to him. Ah, so it was like that, huh? Good for them. Chase catches Marvin's arm as they head out, taking advantage of Jackie going to speak with Jameson. It would be more discreet if Marvin's friend wasn't in earshot. With a wink, he teases his friend. "And they were roommates." "Hey, shut up. It's not like that." "Sure. And Oscar is nothing more than my buddy." "Chase-" "Seriously, what have you got to lose? If he's straight then it might get a little awkward for a moment. But I feel like he would be reasonable and appreciate the honesty. Well, you know him better than I do. You tell me." "You sure?" "Listen, I was already married to a woman when I started being cool with liking dudes. But since the split I've been around the block a few times. It is going to be fine." Marvin moves towards his car as Jackie re-emerges from backstage. It's clear he's still very much skeptical about it all. "If you say so, Chase." ---- Joel makes the judgement that Jackie would probably be fine to travel through his portals a week later. His apartment is pleasant. The ledge of one of his windows has a cushion to improve comfort. Jackie notices remnants of blu tack on the wall where something had clear been removed, which was odd. He almost makes a joke about it but decides against it. "Well... fáilte!" Joel spreads his arms to gesture to the whole room. "Wait, you know some Irish?" "Yep. Had an Irish grandmother who got me conversational." "Really? Nice. In that case, go raibh maith agat." Jackie chuckles. "So... anyway, you going to tell me how you know I'm from '86 or not?" "Okay, so you already know about my portals." "Are you trying to tell me you portalled me through time?" "What?! No, of course not. Bold of you to assume I have any control over the 4th dimension. I meant, I have powers and therefore I inherited the ability to have them." "So how then?" "One of my dads has a time based power and I guess, that trickled down to me a little. Stuff like that happens sometimes. I think Jameson might have an unusually strong immune system because his mother has enhanced immunity. Either way, I just have a sixth sense for time stuff." "...Right." Joel huffs in annoyance. "Alright, believe me or don't. The point is I want to help you go back to your own time if that's what you want." Ah. That's where that elephant was hiding. He was slowly getting used to the future but there was an inexplicable longing to return to where he came from. He was never meant to be 20 in 2019. There was no denying that fact. And as much as he enjoyed hanging out with Marvin and the rest of his new friends, it felt wrong somehow. That said, he was particularly good at going with the flow where necessary. If he was stuck in this century for good, then he'd deal with that. But if there was a chance he could be returned to 1986, there was no way he wouldn't take it. "How?" A sly smile appears on Joel's face. "Ah, for that, we will need Jameson and Henrik's help. All we have to do is wait for the right moment to ask for it. And seeing as it's now May, I don't think we'll have to wait that long."

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye egos #my writing #writersofjack #jumbled au #tw death mention #tw blood mention

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themiscyra1983 · 4 years

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Cassandra’s Half-Assed Cuisine in Quarantine: Low and Slow Beef Stew Over Noodles

Good evening, cats and kittens, and welcome to the last of my recipes, at least for the time being. This one will perhaps be judged less harshly by the esteemed @docholligay, your friend and mine, as it does involve some actual proper cooking. I’m not saying no judgment. I am saying less.

As with my Hot and Horrific Chili Queso, I don’t have a specific provenance for this dish. It’s based on something my parents would make for me and my sister since our childhood, well before I can remember. The Lease family has roots all over the place, if by ‘the place’ you mean Europe. Most immediately, we are Swedish (via my grandmother, an immigrant), Scottish (via my great-grandmother, through whom I am linked to Clan MacGillivray, if only unofficially, as that was her maiden name), and Irish (via my grandfather; the less said about him the better, but I like Ireland even as I loathe that no-account bastard through the mists of time). Any part of our heritage could have inspired this simple, hearty meal, though more likely my parents found it on the back of a gravy packet or something and added it to our repertoire. Truth be told, a lot of our family recipes were things my parents initially found on a package, which then mutated over the years when they lost the original recipe; such is the case with our Chili Ole, an amalgam of ground beef, tomato paste, macaroni, beans and various spices. No idea what that dish was originally. No idea how to actually make it.

And, though I do know how to make this, I similarly have no idea where this actually came from.

But this was a special meal for us. Simple but time consuming, it was a bit infrequent in our family meal rotation, making it special for us. Today I make it strictly on special occasions, when I have a whole day to myself, as it involves the slow cooker and while I know the point is to just let the thing run, I don’t like leaving it completely unattended. So this is a Christmas and birthday kind of meal for me. And it was my dad’s specialty; since he now lives a thousand miles away, it’s not like he can make it for me.

Now, my dad doesn’t cook very much, and even less these days, it seems. His girlfriend was shocked to learn I thought highly of his gravy, but I do have fond memories of him making gravy for our Thanksgiving dinners and for this dish. He gave me the best instructions he could recall, but the truth is, I’ve never been able to make the stuff thicken the way I like - the way he could. So, because I can’t actually advise you on making gravy, and in the spirit of this being half-assed, I’m going to tell you to add premade gravy. But in the course of this recipe you’re going to end up with a by-product that could certainly be the basis of a gravy or a broth, so I’ll tell you how my dad said to make the gravy at the end, even though it doesn’t work for me.

But let’s start with the half-assed version. As I said: this is a time-consuming recipe, but also a simple one. It involves a few ingredients, a bunch of waiting, and then tasting and adjusting to taste as you finish it off. The most expensive part will be the steak. You can use stew beef if you prefer, but I actually found my experience using small, tender steaks much more satisfying. It was necessity inspiring invention when I couldn’t get stew beef but now I actually prefer it. You can also use onion powder instead of diced onion (in fact this is what my dad does), but I find the latter makes things more flavorful. If you want to use onion powder, I’d say add a couple tablespoons.

Here’s what you’ll need.

The Stew:

About 24 ounces worth of tender angus steaks

One small or about half a medium onion, freshly diced

Two tablespoons of garlic powder

Salt

Pepper

About 24 ounces of premade gravy (Heinz Savory Beef Gravy works for me)

The Noodles:

One 12-ounce package of egg noodles

One stick of butter or margarine (or four ounces for those of you who don’t get the stuff in quarter-pound sticks)

Cut the steaks into bite-sized chunks and place into your slow cooker or Instant Pot. Add the diced onion and garlic powder, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover this mixture with water - about 4 cups, enough to cover everything. Stir until you feel the ingredients have been distributed evenly. Put your slow cooker on low and leave to cook for eight hours.

After eight hours of cooking, remove the mixture from the slow cooker and drain, saving the water for other uses if desired. Put the drained mixture in a large saucepan and heat over low heat on your stovetop, adding the gravy and stirring often. Taste occasionally and add more garlic powder, onion powder, pepper and/or salt to taste.

In another pot, prepare the egg noodles as directed on the package, bringing enough water to cook them to a boil, adding the noodles, and stirring occasionally until tender. Once they’re ready, drain the noodles. Cut up the margarine or butter and add it to the pan, then return the noodles and stir thoroughly. Add a little olive oil as well if desired.

When the noodles are done and the beef stew is sufficiently hot, you’re ready to serve. I like to put the noodles in a bowl first, add some grated mozzarella on top, and then ladle the beef stew on top of that, adding salt and pepper if needed and to taste. You can also mix it all thoroughly and in fact this is sometimes what I do with leftovers (leaving out the cheese, which I add after reheating). The stew also goes well over potatoes as prepared in a variety of ways - mashed, boiled, those little red potatoes perfectly cooked, you name it.

This can easily make six servings or so, or four very hearty servings. I beg you to have a salad as well - I make a point of eating my greens. This is a lot of starch and protein and you should get some more veggies in there.

So What About the Gravy?

Again, I’ve never been able to make this work. Perhaps it’s the corn starch that’s giving me problems - my dad was diagnosed with celiac several years ago and stopped using flour. We could have noodles made from wheat (made in a separate pot, and tasted by the non-celiac folks in the house), but he had to taste the gravy to make it properly, so: gluten-free gravy. If you already know how to make gravy, you should use your process.

But this is what my dad told me.

You will need:

About two cups of water

About 3-4 heaping spoonfuls (my dad was not specific, I went with tablespoons) of corn starch (my family always used Argo brand)

Some Gravy Master, mainly for coloring - maybe about a teaspoon at most

When the stew mixture is done in the slow cooker, do NOT drain it off - add everything to the saucepan. In a separate vessel, mix the water, starch, and Gravy Master into a slurry, then add this to the pan as well. Stir everything together, heating over low heat, tasting occasionally. Add additional water if you find the gravy is getting too thick (spectacularly not a problem for me). As in the above process, add additional spices while cooking to taste.

Last Notes

To be honest, the “or margarine” up there is about my personal taste - it’s what I grew up with, as my family was often poor. We had butter, but used it sparingly, sticking with margarine for a lot of our cooking, including pasta. Butter tastes too...’buttery’ to me on pasta now. I use margarine (and I’m specific about the brands I like; I used to use Promise but after I started having trouble finding it I switched to Land O’ Lakes); you may very well prefer butter. I wouldn’t call either option exactly healthy.

In my dad’s version of the recipe - which uses stew beef and onion powder and involves his own gravy, as described above - he also browns the beef before adding it to the slow cooker, no more than about five or ten minutes in a frying pan over fairly low heat. I’ve never found this step necessary in my version of the recipe but you may like the effect.

...now I’m thinking about that Chili Ole my family used to make, whatever the hell that actually was before we got our grubby little hands on it. I’ll have to see if my dad remembers how we made that. But that’s all the ‘recipes’ I have for now; a LOT of what I eat otherwise boils down to ‘follow the directions on the package’ or ‘make a goddamned sandwich’ or ‘okay it’s a burger, cook a burger and slap it on a bun and top it with stuff’. If I think of anything else, well, my keyboard’s always ready to go.

For now, stay safe, stay healthy, and try to eat better than I do.

#cooking #cassandra's half-assed cuisine in quarantine #food #not actually sure this qualifies as a proper stew #but you know aside from using premade gravy i think this isn't the worst #anyway it's veggies beef and gravy #what else would make it a stew

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