#there is goodness in this world and despite everything i want to nurture that the best i can for myself and others

[fenniefrost]

I think one of the hardest things in my life is having so much love and respect to others to the best of my ability. And knowing, through painstaking hardship and abuse, that for certain people, no amount of love, care, understanding, or respect towards them will ever make them treat you the same in return. No amount of love or attempts at understanding will be enough for certain people to heal, grow, or change their ways.

There are some people who exist, that no matter how much you give them unconditional love and respect, will still believe they should have the right to hurt you or take your rights away. And honestly, I will never understand. Their attempts to turn me into someone hateful/fearful like them never broke me, and I still believe in the hope that love exists. The only thing that changed was that I love myself enough now to not tolerate them hurting me anymore. And I hope anyone else with a kind heart also finds peace knowing you weren't the problem. You tried your best. And you deserve to be treated with kindness too.

[yawnderu]

Simon lets out a deep chuckle as he sees your daughter pick flowers from the light, clean grass, her tiny hands barely even managing to gather enough strength to get the stems out of the ground.

“C'mon, that's enough.” His voice is patient, calloused hands picking his daughter up as he brings her up to his chest, a small smile when he sees her holding onto the flowers for dear life, giggles leaving her lips as he starts bouncing her while they walk.

It became a routine, in a way, for Simon to bring his daughter whenever he visits his family. She's too young to understand, so pure, so untainted from the dangers of the world, always kept safe by Simon and you, yet he can't fight off the urge to make his family see her.

He walks for a few minutes, enjoying the chilly air while his daughter cuddles up to him, one of her tiny hands gripping his jacket, while the other one is still holding onto the flowers. He stops in front of a set of four graves, the familiar pit of dread setting deep within him starts to come out, shaky hands managing to gently put the little girl down on the cold ceramic.

Mrs. Riley.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

Simon was hiding his hurt quite well, managing to sit down next to his little girl, one hand on her back as she started crawling around, finally setting the flowers down.

“Mum?” His voice is quiet, almost cracking, as if he was the scared little boy his mother defended with her life. His daughter looks up at him with curious brown eyes, sitting down and entertaining herself with her own onesie.

“I remember telling you I'd never settle down because I could never get as lucky as Tommy and Beth...” He dragged out, gaze going down to the ring on his finger, the physical representation of your union.

“You've met my wife before, and now I want you to see my kid too.” He's barely managing to speak, words coming out rough and choked up as his hand caresses his daughter's thin hair, making him pause just to examine her features. She's a tiny carbon copy of him, a lovely nose and a set of brown eyes that will never see the horrors he lived.

“She's a proper daddy's girl, but you would've loved each other.” He's sure of it. His mum was always so lovely, so nurturing. A true angel on earth with way too much forgiveness and patience for her own good.

He picks his daughter up, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Simon thought he cried all his tears when he was a little boy, yet his nose is starting to sting, vision getting blurry for a few seconds until a choked sob manages to escape his lips. He's quick to wipe any tears away, simply trying to focus on the peace and quiet the cemetery offers, his hand running up and down his daughter's back, patting it softly just to hear that little giggle that seems to always repair his broken soul.

“All of you would've loved her, shy little thing she is.” He sniffles again before a quiet laugh leaves his lips, smiling despite the way his eyes are still filled with tears threatening to spill at any moment.

“I'm quittin' the SAS soon, don't want her to grow up without a father. The wife's happy about it, too.” Simon lets out a small sigh, looking down at the graves of his family, all buried next to each other. He shakes his head softly, his free hand quickly wiping off his tears before he goes back to holding his daughter, rocking her with care.

“I'll come back with her next time, jus' wanted to talk to you today. Let you meet this lovely girl.” Big brown eyes meet his gaze, instantly cheering him up despite everything. He pinches his cheek softly only for the little girl to smack his hand away with a giggle, only making his smile grow wider at how hot-heated she is. Just like her mother.

[strangespector]

Breathless

Summary: A bad habit that has consequences

Words: 1046

The flashing lights of paparazzi cameras illuminated the night, capturing Jenna Ortega in a moment that would soon be plastered all over social media. The young actress, beloved by millions, was caught with a cigarette in hand, the smoke curling up into the night sky. The pictures went viral almost instantly, eliciting reactions from fans, critics, and, most notably, her family. Jenna's mother was especially vocal about her disapproval, a sentiment echoed by the rest of her family. They knew Jenna had started smoking on set, a habit picked up in the chaotic world of Hollywood, but seeing it publicly displayed ignited a firestorm of concern and frustration.

Despite their pleas, Jenna continued smoking, a habit that became a part of her daily routine. She would often light up at home, the scent of tobacco lingering in the air. I, on the other hand, had never touched a cigarette in my life. The smoke bothered me at first, the acrid scent clinging to the furniture, my clothes, and even my hair. But I loved Jenna. She was my world, and though I disliked her smoking, I endured it because I knew how much stress she was under. I figured it was her way of coping, a temporary crutch in the high-pressure world she navigated every day.

Years passed, and Jenna's star only continued to rise. She became a household name, and with every new role, her fanbase grew. But alongside her success, her smoking habit persisted. By now, it had become second nature to her, a part of her routine as much as brushing her teeth or making coffee in the morning. I often found myself coughing, my chest tightening uncomfortably whenever the smoke hung too thick in the air. There were days when I felt short of breath, but I chalked it up to a cold or allergies. The thought that something could be seriously wrong never crossed my mind.

It wasn’t until I started losing weight rapidly, my energy levels plummeting, that I decided to see a doctor. The cough that had lingered for months turned into something more sinister, a persistent ache that gnawed at my insides. After a series of tests and a tense waiting period, the diagnosis came: lung cancer, stage three. The words hung in the air like a death sentence. The doctor explained that the cause was likely secondhand smoke, a byproduct of living with a smoker for so many years.

When I told Jenna, she was devastated. The color drained from her face as she realized the implications of what the doctor had said. This wasn't just any illness—this was a direct consequence of her habit. A habit she had nurtured and indulged, not realizing the price I would eventually pay. She cried for days, apologizing over and over, but I reassured her that I didn’t blame her. After all, it had been my choice to stay, my choice to love her despite her flaws. But deep down, I knew she carried the weight of this guilt, a burden she would never fully shake off.

The chemotherapy was brutal. Each session left me weaker than the last, my body battered and bruised by the relentless assault of drugs meant to kill the cancer. Jenna was by my side through it all, her eyes red-rimmed from lack of sleep and constant worry. She quit smoking immediately, the sight of a cigarette now repulsive to her. She did everything she could to make me comfortable, but the cancer had spread too far, too fast. The doctors were honest with us—it was only a matter of time.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, I grew weaker. My once-strong body was now frail, a shadow of the person I used to be. Breathing became difficult, each inhale a struggle, each exhale a sigh of resignation. I knew my time was running out, and I accepted it with a calmness I hadn’t expected. I had lived a good life, a happy life, despite the challenges. And Jenna, for all her faults, had made me happier than I ever thought possible.

When the end was near, I made one final request: I wanted to go home. The hospital was cold, sterile, a place where people went to fight for their lives. But I wasn’t fighting anymore. I just wanted to be in a place that felt familiar, surrounded by the memories of a life well-lived. Jenna arranged everything, bringing me home and setting up a bed in the living room where the sunlight streamed in through the windows.

The last few days were a blur of pain and medication. I could feel myself slipping away, my consciousness fading in and out like a weak radio signal. But Jenna was always there, holding my hand, her presence a steady anchor in the storm of my fading life. I remember the last time I opened my eyes, her face blurry but unmistakable, framed by the soft afternoon light. She was crying, her tears falling silently onto our clasped hands.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry for everything."

I mustered what little strength I had left and smiled at her, a weak but genuine smile. "I forgive you," I said, my voice barely a breath. "You gave me a happy life, Jenna. That's all that matters."

And in that moment, as I looked into her tear-filled eyes, I felt a deep sense of peace. I had no regrets, no anger, only love for the woman who had been my everything. I closed my eyes, holding onto that final image of her, my heart full even as my body failed. And then, with one last breath, I let go, slipping away into the quiet darkness, leaving Jenna with the memories of our life together and the lesson learned from a habit that had cost us both so dearly.

Jenna would go on to live her life, forever changed by the experience. She would tell our story to others, a cautionary tale of love, loss, and the heavy price of a moment’s indulgence. And though I was gone, I knew she would carry me with her, in her heart, every step of the way.

[bluesylveon2]

The Princess and the General

Summary: When Silver meets the princess from his father's old bedtime stories, except she is not a princess but his past lover.

Note: set in the same universe as the Leona royal au fic, fluff, slight angst, mentioned pregnancy, aged-up characters, Yuu/Reader is a fae, former General Lilia, and oc child. I saw the General Lilia card and it inspired this fic :)

Warning: not beta read, possible ooc characters, slight spoiler of past Lilia, and possibly inaccurate fae aging (just ignore canon if it was addressed in Book 7 lol).

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist: here

"Father, can you tell me a bedtime story?"

A male with long black hair and red streaks scooted closer to his son's bed, careful not to wake the green-haired boy sleeping next to him. His red eyes met big auroral ones. 

The man chuckled at his son's cuteness and nodded. "Alright." He adjusted the boy so he could lay his head on the man's chest. "What kind of story do you want?"

"The one with the princess."

The man's eyes widened in shock, but he quickly cleared his throat. "You always ask for that one. It has a sad moment too."

The boy smiled. His innocent eyes sparkled. "I like the ending."

The man sighed and nodded. "Alright. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was so beautiful that it felt like the world around her would stop to stare at her when she passed by. She was very kind and loving. Everyone in the village loved her." The man felt a lump in his throat, but Silver's innocent eyes continued staring at him. "One day, she met an injured and cold-hearted knight. So, being the kind princess she was, nursed him back to health. The princess eventually grew close to the knight that she fell in love with him."

The boy began to feel sleep overcome him, and he closed his eyes, unaware of the man's voice, beginning to choke. Despite this, he continued the story and concealed his aching heart for his son's sake.

"But the knight did not feel the same way. He was cruel and only cared about returning back to the war. So he left once he felt better, leaving the princess heartbroken without saying goodbye. The princess thought all was lost until one day, while wandering around the woods around her castle, she discovered a small baby with golden hair. She felt sorry for the baby, so she adopted him and named him Aurum. The princess gave the baby all the love and attention he deserved." Lilia almost choked on his words, but he continued on. "She raised him as her own, loved him, and nurtured him until he became a king. And they both lived happily ever after." 

Silver stared at the faceless crowd in thought. It has been years since his father stopped telling him bedtime stories, yet the one with the princess stood out to him. His father never described her in detail, but Silver often wondered if he would ever meet a woman like her. He often had dreams of a beautiful woman who looked to be around his father's age. Still, he has yet to meet someone whose beauty can make the world stop.

"We need food, clothes, water, and new swords. Are we missing anything else…" The green-haired boy looked up at his friend (more like a brother), but his friend's eyes stared off at the crowded marketplace. "SILVER!"

Silver broke out of his train of thought and turned to his friend. "Did you need something, Sebek?"

Sebek groaned in annoyance. "You were staring off into space again. You must stop doing that so we can return to the Young Master."

Silver sighed and closed his bag. "Father can care for him just fine, but we can head back. Let me make sure I have my magical pen, and we can go."

Once they had everything, the two walked through the Briar Valley markets and back to the castle. The walk was short, yet Silver was too occupied with his thoughts. He had a feeling that something would happen today, but he did not know if it was good or bad. 

As Silver was about to exit the bustling market, a woman walked past him. Her features passed for a brief second, but Silver felt it. Sebek, who was in front of him, slowed down. The voices around him sounded like unintelligible noises. It felt like the world suddenly slowed down, and it all happened when the woman passed. 

Silver immediately turned around in search of her. His eyes caught sight of her swaying hair and pointed ears. She looked young, possibly around his father's age. Silver's feet acted before he could think. 

"Wait! Miss, wait!"

Sebek turned around only to find his friend not there. "Silver?" Sebek's eyes landed on Silver running away. "SILVER! GET BACK HERE!"

The woman turned around to the noise to see a silver-haired boy heading her way, followed by a green-haired boy screaming at him. Her eyes stared at the familiar uniform. It was an updated one from the one she knew, but it still had the same colors as Briar Valley. Suddenly, the silver-haired one started pointing at her. 

"Miss! I need to talk to you!"

The woman immediately ran off in hopes of losing them. Meanwhile, Sebek had finally caught up to Silver. 

"Silver! Why are you chasing that woman?"

"Remember those stories Father would tell us? Specifically, the one with the princess? That's her!"

Sebek looked at Silver like he was crazy. "How would you know that? We could be chasing an innocent woman?"

"She had similar features to the princess, and the world slowed down when I saw her. Trust me, Sebke. It's her."

Sebek looked at Silver with a conflicted look. They should return to the castle, but what were the odds that it was the same woman. Even Sebek had moments where he wanted to meet her. 

The woman moved fast, using her fae abilities to her advantage. What felt like hours was actually minutes of running, and she was heading toward a large crowd. It would be a matter of time before she lost them. 

"We need to do something!" Silver yelled to Sebek. The green-haired boy had a determined look.  

"I have no choice but to do this." Sebek took a deep breath. "DO YOU KNOW LILIA VANROUGE?" The woman and everyone else stopped moving and turned to them. She stood there stunned, giving Silver and Sebek enough time to catch up to her. Even up close, her beauty was maximized by ten. 

The woman's eyes widened briefly before going to a neutral expression. "Was he looking for me?" she replied, causing Sebek to groan. 

"You didn't answer my question!"

Silver sighed before looking at the woman. "I apologize for my friend, Miss. It is a long story, but Lilia often talks about you."

The woman's eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. "You're lying. He would never talk about me like that."

Silver turned to Sebek and noticed the big crowd watching them like it was a drama his father liked. The two nodded after a few moments of silence. 

"I think it's best to discuss this over tea. How about we go back to the castle?"

The woman glanced around her, a hint of reluctance on her face, before nodding. 

---

The three sat in Malleus' study with Sebek preparing the tea. The woman stared at the room in awe.

"The King must have traveled a lot," she whispered as she stared at the many pennant flags decorating the walls. 

"They were gifts from Master Lilia to the Young Master, Yuu. The Young Master treasures them." Sebek proudly said as he set down her teacup.

Yuu thanked him and drank from her cup. She set it down and looked at Silver. "So let me make sure I understand this. You are Lilia's adopted son, and you-" her gaze turned to Sebek, "-are Baul's grandson. Lilia would tell you two stories where I was a princess, and you think it's me? How would you know?"

"He always talked about how beautiful you were and how it would look like time would slow down when you walk by." Silver explained, causing Yuu to blush. 

"I think he was exaggerating." 

"No!" Silver exclaimed, "It felt like the world stopped moving when we passed you in the market earlier."

Yuu's mouth opened in shock, "I see…What else did he say in that story?"

"He mentioned how you met a cruel knight, fell in love with him, and he left you heartbroken. The story ends with you adopting a child."

Yuu chuckled and leaned back, her eyes gazing at the ceiling painting. "Did you know that's how I met your father? It was a long time ago, he was a general, and I was naive. I thought he would reciprocate my feelings, but I was lying to myself the whole time. That story sounds like the life I wanted when I met him."

Sebek awkwardly drank his own tea and remained quiet. He had heard stories from his grandfather about how the mischievous Lilia they knew now was very different from years ago. Meanwhile, Silver slammed his hands on the table.

"Father may have been like that before, but he is not now! Also, I was too young to understand then, but he would always stumble and tear up when he told me the story. He may not say it, but I know he regrets what he did."

Yuu smiled sadly. "Thank you for that, Silver; those are the words I wished I heard years ago."

"Then you should stay so you can see him!"

Yuu shook her head. "I don't know if I should. I should be heading out soon before it gets dark. I'm visiting the Scalding Sands and hear it is lovely this time of year." Yuu brushed off imaginary dust off her clothes and started standing up. 

Silver and Sebek stood up like they had a burst of energy. They jumped toward Yuu and pushed her back down. 

"NO!"

"WAIT!"

Yuu became slightly annoyed. "What are you two going on about?"

"What is going on here?" A deep voice asked as he entered the study. Everyone froze, and their eyes turned to the newcomer. 

"Lilia?" Yuu said as she stared at him. He looked handsome, but she still saw small remnants of the cold man she met before. Her eyes were wide, just like Lilia's, and her heart tensed up from seeing him. 

"Yuu?" Lilia whispered with fondness that startled Yuu. She still looked as beautiful as he remembered, and he felt an invisible pull towards her like an enchanted spindle. Neither of them moved and stared in silence until Silver cleared his throat.

"Father, I'm sure that you remember Yuu. If you would excuse Sebek and me, we must help Malleus." He quickly said as he grabbed Sebek's arm and dragged him out. 

"Right! We must see the Young Master to help him!" The two boys immediately closed the door, leaving Yuu and Lilia alone. What Malleus needed help with? They may never know. 

Yuu cleared her throat. "You know it's been a while since I've seen you, Lilia. You definitely changed." She made no move to leave the room, causing Lilia to give in to the invisible pull. 

Lilia chuckled and sat down next to Yuu. "Don't I still look youthful?" He grinned mischievously.

“Don’t push it. I’m surprised you haven’t broken your back yet.” Yuu smirked, causing Lilia to gasp. 

"My youthful appearance has made it through the years! Besides, who else was supposed to watch over Malleus during his youth?"

Yuu laughed at the thought. She felt her heart relax as they quickly made conversation like they were old friends seeing each other. "I guess it makes sense. I heard the King was quite the handful as a kid."

"Yes, but he grew out of it...most of it. He had a wonderful young caretaker to watch over him." 

Yuu rolled her eyes and smiled. "Don't push it now. You may have cut your hair and dyed it pink instead of red, but there is more than that. You look happier and not like you're ready to murder someone. You even have a son. A human son, for the matter. The Lilia I knew before would never want to be near one, much less adopt one."

Lilia smiled proudly, his eyes briefly glancing at the door Silver had just left from with fondness. "Well, things happened, and I met Silver. He is my pride and joy, after all. I taught him everything and he has been a fantastic retainer for Malleus."

"I can tell. You raised him well. Did you know that he was the one who found me in the market? He even told me you tell him stories about me as a princess. I could not believe it myself." Yuu chuckled, but Lilia remained silent. 

"Lilia?"

Lilia looked at Yuu with a serious expression. The atmosphere felt slightly tense as Yuu knew it was time to address the elephant in the room. Suddenly, Lilia got down on both knees in front of Yuu and held her hands. He gently caressed her fingers with his thumbs. 

"You know, I tried to find you after the war ended. My mind was so focused on it that I did not realize what I did to you until it was over. I even returned to your house to beg for forgiveness, but you were gone." He looked up at Yuu. "Did you leave because of me?"

Yuu slowly nodded and looked down at Lilia's hands. "That was part of the reason. That house may have brought me painful memories, but I always wanted to explore the world. Your leaving gave me an excuse to do it. Despite that, I learned so much about myself from it."

"I'm happy for you, Yuu. I tried to look out for you years after, and then I met Malleus and Silver. You can see what happened next…" Lilia trailed off before continuing. "Yuu, I am so sorry for the damage I've done. If I could travel back in time, then I would. I would be the fae that you deserved back then. I was slow to realize it, but I love you and always have."

Yuu felt tears form in her eyes. "Lilia…" The former stoic man rested his forehead on her knees and began to cry. 

"So please, if you could give me a chance, I will stay by your side for as long as you want. If not, then I understand. I will respect your wishes." 

Yuu sighed, causing Lilia to look up and for their eyes to meet. "I still have plans to travel, but I have an idea. I will think about it, and when I come back, if you are still waiting for me, we can talk again and go from there." 

Lilia nodded with hope in his eyes. He moved to sit on one knee, grabbed Yuu's left hand, and kissed her knuckles. When Lilia's lips touched her skin, Yuu felt a spark flow through her body. It was a familiar feeling, and she had missed it. 

"I, former general Lilia Vanrouge, swear to wait for you, Yuu, for as long as you need until you tell me to go or death do us part."

Yuu interlocked their fingers together as a sign of comfort between them. 

"I, Yuu, promise to give you, Lilia Vanrouge, my answer when I return." Her eyes shifted to meet Lilia's red ones. "Maybe I will let you propose to me properly."

Lilia smiled with all the love he had for her. "Take all the time that you need."

With those words, both knew the future would be bright. 

---

Later

Silver, Sebek, Malleus, and Yuu sat together, silently eating dinner until Silver addressed the other elephant in the room. 

"So, Yuu, can you cook?" 

Yuu's eyes lit up in excitement. "Yes, I can! I picked up a few things during my travels, so say the word, and I'll make it." Yuu smiled, causing Silver, Sebek, and Malleus to tear up. The three ran to her and pulled her in a big group hug while crying tears of joy. 

"Thank you!" They cried in relief. Meanwhile, Lilia watched them from afar with a smile. 

"What a lovely family."

"Mommy, can you read me another bedtime story?"

Yuu laughed as she tucked her daughter under the blankets. "Another one, Aurie? I already told you many."

"Please! My little brother wants to hear one too!" Aurie pleaded. Her big red eyes shined with forming tears, and she put on her best pout. Yuu sighed, giving in to her daughter's cuteness. 

"Okay. One more, and that's it. I don't want you to fall asleep when your father and brother return tomorrow. You know that they will be excited to see you."

Aurie smiled proudly and nodded, her hair swishing up and down. "I promise, Mommy."

Yuu smiled and ruffled Aurie's silky hair. "Now, what story do you want?"

"Can you tell me the story of the beautiful princess who fell in love with the handsome knight? I like that one."

"Alright, young lady." Yuu sat beside her daughter and let Aurie rest beside her as best as possible with her 30-week baby bump. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. One day, while out in the village, she met a knight who was in love with her from afar for years…."

A/N: Aurie means "the golden one" and comes from the Latin word aurum aka gold. It's also used as a short form for the name Aurora :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[warningsine]

Notice how Helena uses "I" instead of "she" and how Milchik gives her the soft sell.

Combine this with:

her embarrassed "My dad forced me to recite the 9 rules as a child and I did not like it then" admission in front of a camera.

James basically thanking her for risking her life for the company and lying about it. He "cried" about the suicide attempt, and yet he didn't even contact his daughter, since he's telling her this now at the gala as an aside to the event. In terms of family emergency time? Too fucking late. Is this the only time Helena's seen him since then? Not to mention how he didn't want to take responsibility and blamed it all on his daughter's alter ego.

And you'll get a more nuanced interpretation than the "Helena pure corporate evil, Helly R. good rebel" binary one.

Despite doing that cruel "I'm a person, you're not" presentation and being determined to see the process through even after Helly tries to commit suicide, there's some part of Helena that must know that this is messed up.

Sure, she's complicit and not a hapless victim, but she's also a product of her upbringing. Stripping her of her privilege, heritage, cult-like brainwashing/indoctrination and Shiv Roy-like desperation to win her dad's approval gives you Helly.

They are the same person under different circumstances.

There are no contradictions between the fundamental makeup of her innie and outie.

The version of herself Helena brings inside Lumon questions everything and demands accommodation and answers, because she is used to getting what she wants as a privileged woman.

What changes her is the different context she's given.

Helena is a wealthy and powerful woman who gets what she wants; Helly is a powerless woman who is often being tortured. It makes sense that her traits—stubborness and determination among others—and the fundamental sense of "I deserve to get what I want" are present in Helly.

But also make no mistake: they're both prisoners. Helly in a more literal sense, Helena in a figurative one—a prisoner in her family and the role that was imposed on her.

A willing participant that benefits from a controlling system is not free from the harm or influence of it. Acknowledging Helena's abusive circumstances doesn't take away from her as an antagonist, it makes her story more compelling.

Helena's self-serving qualities are more a matter of nurture than nature, because Helly shows caring and compassion as well as rebellion and independence. Helly is like a very young version of Helena.

All of the outies' emotions leak through to some extent.

Helly's "Well, that's a given for me [that I'm an asshole out there]" is a pretty safe assumption to make based on Helena's video, but it also oozes self-loathing. Helena taking it out on Helly does too.

Ultimately, I think this happens on a figurative level to a lot of people who undergo an—emotionally in this case— abusive upbringing. Rejecting their most vulnerable parts and imprisoning them. It's a survival mechanism, and helps them feel like they have more control over their out of control personal life. But, in a way, it makes them more out of control once they get into the real world.

Their inner, imprisoned parts find ways to make it so they can't ignore them. We definitely saw that with Helly threatening to mutilate herself and attempting suicide.

There are consequences to denying and imprisoning any part of ourselves over the long term.

[byoldervine]

Writing Tips - Overarching Themes

A lot of stories like to have overarching themes, such as themes of redemption, acceptance, ruthlessness, love, etc. But how do you come up with the themes for your story?

1. Don’t lose the plot. What kind of journey does your plot take your characters on? What do they achieve and what do they learn along the way? Off the top of my head Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t do a great job at portraying an overarching theme of ‘love conquers all’ when love repeatedly causes problems for the heroes (to the point of “It was our love that destroyed the world” being one of the most memorable lines) and only seems to benefit the villains. Let the plot help keep you on the right track

2. Ask a question. There are tons of themes that rely on asking a question and pitting two different virtues against each other; traditional vs modern, redemption vs damnation, nature vs nurture, etc. The theme of the story is then watching one conquer the other, or finding out where the balance lies between the two if that’s more applicable. ATLA was, of course, very good at handling the nuances in redemption and damnation; it showed people learning they need to change, people wanting to change, people choosing not to change, people trying and failing to change, and even people with the capacity to change only if they take it. The episode The Southern Raiders is also a masterclass in nuance in revenge vs forgiveness, and ultimately allows the audience to form their own conclusions

3. Add a twist. One thing that really intrigues me about EPIC: The Musical is how the overarching theme is ruthlessness vs mercy - with the lesson being that main character Odysseus needs to be more ruthless. You don’t get a lot of stories that teach ruthlessness as the good and correct answer over mercy, that you should kill a defeated opponent rather than letting them live, and that makes the story so much more interesting and unique. If you can think of a way to intentionally twist the expected outcome of your overarching theme, see if you can make it work within the story

4. It’s overarching for a reason. Make sure your overarching themes are evident in the story and impact the characters and their decisions, as well as the consequences for such. Hazbin Hotel has an obvious overarching theme of redemption, and you can see it in the way each episode plays out that redemption comes into it, whether it’s Vaggie regaining her wings when learning to fight for love rather than vengeance, Charlie giving Alastor the chance to work in the hotel despite knowing he doesn’t believe in her goals, Husk encouraging Angel’s character growth and his true nature, etc. Almost everything the characters do relates back to the theme of redemption and betterment

5. Reward the theme. Maybe in the past characters have been burned before and no longer believe in your overarching theme, but the course of the story changes their perspective. The Owl House has overarching themes of non-conformity and individualism and acceptance of those who are ‘weird’ or different, and they all culminate in Luz finally feeling understood for the first time in her life after never feeling that way. Attempts in the past to be understood have often been met with people labelling her as the weird kid or her being punished, and then throughout the story there’s a lot of people that accept Luz, but in more of an “I don’t get what you’re saying, but I get what you’re trying to say” kind of way; acceptance and understanding aren’t quite the same. And lacking acceptance has negative impacts in the story for good and bad characters alike; Luz is at her most powerful when she accepts both the human and witch side of her rather than comparing herself to Azura, Amity’s potential for redemption comes only when she accepts Luz as a witch, Belos loses his power when he’s no longer accepted by others, etc. Characters are rewarded for following the overarching theme and punished for straying

[etherfabric]

Messages for Self Empowerment

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

The World, Judgement

Look at what you accomplished. You have dared to show your true colors, and boy did it turn out great! Remember how scared you were in the beginning? How uncertain things were? And yet, you did it. You heard your calling and answered to it. It might have taken another shape than you first expected, and granted, that can feel like a hit to the ego. No one likes to be wrong. But you listened to your intuition and pushed through, even when doubts were drumming your heart and mind. You deserve to be proud of yourself. You deserve high praise. Enjoy the fruits of your labor - the next chapter is just around the corner.

Pile 2

4 of Wands, 5 of Cups

Return to your safe space. You took great care in creating it, and you deserve a little peace of mind for now. Turn to what's cozy and familiar, and leave the big leaps for another day. It might not look as heroic as you'd like, and maybe even guilt will creep up once you step away from the noise, but trust in the power of the pause. You need to fill your own cup before rushing to the next big thing. Do easy things. Be soft. Go the path of least resistance. Maybe a good cry is overdue and will feel safe enough to show itself once you settled down. Let it take up space inside you as long as you can bare, and I promise you will feel better afterwards.

Pile 3

6 of Cups, The Star

Nurture your dreams. I don't mean the ones you escape into when the real world gets too dull or harsh - I mean the ones you said out loud with your chest when you were a kid. Maybe the exact details of the dreams changed, because your grasp on realism wasn't the firmest back then, but this dormant flame inside of you wants to be fanned back to life. What did you want to be once all grown up? Why did you want that? How can you take a real life step towards this today? The tiniest bit counts. Open up to a trusted friend about your aspirations, or research about that old obsession you had. Reconnect with that innocent sense of hope, even if it feels scary. You have the means to protect it better than ever now.

Pile 4

Queen of Pentacles, 5 of Wands

Congratulations on your open heart and calm mind amidst the stormy seas. There was quite some tension and quarrels inside and around you recently, and despite a few hiccups along the way, you managed to give the right impulses for a peaceful outcome. Continue with your nurturing towards others and yourself. Find a piece of nature you can ground yourself with - a park, a forest, maybe just a little weed on the sidewalk you can greet everytime you walk past it. Remind yourself of the interconnectedness of everything to not take on 100% responsibility. It's not just you out there. You aren't the only factor, and that's a relief.

[rainboneish]

‪saw that one “people can’t accept gojo’s negative traits” post circulating again and i feel like that person is the one who is fundamentally misunderstanding his character…

gojo being someone who would give the world for his students and being an overconfident dick likely to lose himself in the thrill of a good fight are two statements that can and should coexist actually, in fact i think that’s what makes him a well written character ‬

it’s not a coincidence that one of Gojo’s first meaningful lines in both jjk 0 and the proper jjk animanga is “No one should be allowed to take the youth away from young people”

Gojo’s “fatal flaw” is not his selfishness, it’s his overconfidence!

it’s the fact that he has a superiority complex a mile wide, because with two notable exceptions, every time he has tried anything, he succeeded! Satoru Gojo is a man who has been told he’s the greatest from the day he was born and who usually had the skill to prove that assumption right

all that said, the two times he did fail taught him something: the first time (the start plasma vessel mission) unlocked his full potential, the second time (Geto’s defection) taught him that his full potential alone wasn’t enough to do everything.

in his own words, he learned that he can only save those who want to be saved and that to cause any meaningful change (at least partially motivated by his own loneliness and frustration), he needs to make sure the new generation is strong enough (both physically/in the combat sense and mentally) to keep up with him and eventually replace him

these are all things Gojo has learned before the start of the actual series… but him having learned and decided all that doesn’t mean that he is suddenly perfect

Two “failures” do not erase a lifetime of nurtured overconfidence and risk taking and at the end of the day he’s just a man… he fails to dispose of Geto’s body according to protocol because of emotional attachment, he puts his students in risky situations because he believes that’s the only way to make them grow because that’s how he grew, he walks into Shibuya station despite knowing it’s a trap because he is overconfident and believes he can outsmart or overpower the enemy, one could also argue he “played with his food” when fighting the disaster curses

but he is not uncaring of civilians, something Kenjaku knew to take advantage of, he cares deeply for his friends and his students, he will put his students’ safety above his own more selfish desires when it comes to it (the reason why he had to kill Geto at the end of jjk 0, despite postponing his execution order for 10 years)

he is not selfish in the classical sense of the word, though he is egotistical

he is a dick to anyone he doesn’t respect who isn’t under his direct protection (and he is still a bit of an ass towards the people he genuinely likes), but it’s not maliciously motivated

he oversteps and isn’t the most emotionally intelligent of people (sometimes genuinely bullying people he perceives to be weak/lacking potential like Utahime and Ijichi) either to get a rise out of them or to keep them from biting off more than they can chew

he enjoys going all out in battle because it’s something he rarely gets to do, he gets lost in the bloodshed and the thrill of the chase like a big cat, he is lonely at the top so he craves human connection

there are a lot of flaws you could pick on in his character, but i would very much like to argue that selfishness (at more than surface level) and an unwillingness to sacrifice himself for his students are not at the top of that list (if they make the list at all)

[ladykailitha]

Omegaverse BTS

I was loving people's reactions to the final chapter but wanted to talk a couple of things the name of Steve and Eddie's kid and Tommy Hagan. Because in this 'verse he's so fascinating. Thanks for the comment @eyehartart!

I went back and forth on this so many times you have no idea. At first Dustin (as in Henderson) was their son because the only ones mentioned of the Party are Max and Lucas. So I thought why not be the reason Dustin is never mentioned is because he isn't born yet.

Then when I first started writing the sequel I wanted the whole party at the wedding. And after much thought, their first child is merely named after Dustin and will be explored deeper in the sequel.

Tommy, Carol, and Steve (Nancy and Jonathan, too, just not Corroded Coffin and Chrissy and Jason or Robin) all went to the same high school. All born to rich parents.

It was expected that Carol would be the omega and the two boys would be alphas.

Steve presented first and got tested 24 hours after his first heat. Carol and Tommy commiserating with him being infertile.

Then Carol presents as an alpha, so now everyone expecting Tommy to be an omega as Tommy and Carol are the top couple at school (after Steve and Nancy broke up).

He presents as an omega and then he too is infertile (actually infertile none of the other omegas you meet in the story who are escorts aren't golden omegas, just Steve.)

Carol immediately dumps him and starts sleeping around with fertile omegas.

Also, like Steve's parents Tommy's parents blew up when they found out he was infertile, but they did the golden test. So not only were they "saddled" with a "broken" omega they were out a lot of money too.

Tommy actually wanted to be a wet nurse for the elite, as his tough guy persona was just that, an act. He wanted to go into one of the other nurturing fields but his parents forbade him.

They were going to get their money back from having such a useless son.

They were expecting him to get at least close to Steve's million dollar cherry price, but only got a third that.

His parents were livid again. But they took their money and never looked back.

In the eight or nine years it's been since they were auctioned off, Tommy's parents have never contacted him. They made sure he got into the best schools for the skills he would need as an escort, paying for it out of his bid price. But he's never received so much as a post card from them.

It took him three years to pay off his debt while it only took Steve less than one year.

So despite all the training and everything he got, he was never as popular as Steve.

Resentment grew.

He stayed with Starcourt Services because he had to prove to Carol, to his parents, to the world that he was better than Steve. That if he just had more time, he could beat Steve as one of the top earners at the agency.

It never happened. The wage gap between Steve and Tommy grew with each passing year.

And then the events of the story take place and Tommy does not have a good time.

So when Starcourt washes their hands of him he becomes a teacher.

His first year is tough, but rewarding. Only on the last day Tommy gets told he might not have a job come August. And he just breaks down. A parent of one of his now former pupils comes in because she left her jacket in his class. The parent is a single female alpha whose bondmate died shortly after the birth of their daughter due to complications.

And she just helps him through it. Then over the summer she helps him get a job at another school and they fall in love. Since now he's at different school then her daughter Tommy doesn't feel like a conflict of interest and they bond.

Now that's not to say that all this justifies Tommy's behavior. Because it absolutely doesn't. But I wanted him to find a happier life outside of being an escort as sort of a "this job can chew up and spit out and you still be a person at the end of it all".

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[punkeropercyjackson]

If you hate Aang i hate YOU.What did this lil nigga even do?He was 12,one minute his life was a paradise living with his people happily then the next he got told he had save the world as a CHILD so he got scared and ran away and THEN he was the last survivor of a genocide.And yet despite all this,he went out of his way to show kindness to everybody,to give them hope,to give them strength,to use HIS strength to protect people and he never expected to be rewarded for it as seen by him helping Zuko back when he was evil,he was literally BEING SWEET TO THE GUY TRYING TO KILL HIM because he realized maybe he wasn't all bad and just a kid like him.He was the first person to really see him for who he is after he got banished and he helped him see that too and bring it out in full force.Aang SAVED Zuko's life just like he saved the world and Zuko loves him more than he does anyone else for it and shows it nonstop

He's so different from what he's expected to be-He's so caring and gentle and open with his emotions and goofy and eager to help and innocent and HAPPY.Even after all he's been through,he still finds it so easy to see the good things in life and fill everybody else's existense with even more good things.He's feminine in a positive way instead of being mocked for it and he loves his culture so much and he's so upset about what happened to his people and the reason he decided to be the Avatar for real is that he knows what the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom were feeling and ain't no way he was going to just let it keep going when he had the exact power created to stop it

He never forced Katara to love him back.He wanted her to and she wore her mutual feelings for him on her sleeve so often that he spotted them and got freaked out and confused when something made him think he was wrong and reacted badly because he was a fucking child.She was a child just like him and he made her feel like one for once since her toddler years and that's why she felt the same things for him he felt for her and why their love perfected the show.She didn't have to water herself down for him and with him she could be the sea itself

Aang had every right to not want to kill Ozai.He wasn't even 13,not even technically a teenager,he was a kid,a good good kid,and he WAS going to stop him no matter what but what of the Air Nomads?What of Gyatso who was the closest thing he ever had to a father?What of everyone else he grew up with that always nurtured him in his-their beautiful culture that wasn't around to keep going anymore?He couldn't let it die like they did.So he worked his ass off to do both and he won.He shared the Air Nomad heritage with Katara as a token of love and did it platonically for everyone else too and despite how EXTREMELY problematic Legend of Korra is,it vindicated him and his people by making Air Nomads exist again.He deserved that and so did they

Aang was a genocide survivor of color.Aang was a child forced to be a hero.Aang wasn't the perfect boyfriend all the time but he wasn't an abuser either.Aang was traumatized and alone in his heritage and despite everything,he was still a good person not out of 'purity' but because he TRIED TO BE EVERY DAY.Talk about him with some fucking respect seeing as he's done more good for his world than you ever have for ours and takes more pride in his culture too.Aang is the perfect role model for kids of color and jewish kids and all the other ones with his experiences.Aang didn't do anything wrong.Just say you hate anyone who's an actual outcast instead of just quirky and then go do some actual activism and direct action like he inspired me to and so did Katara-Which she also played a big part in and i wish she'd done the same for you instead of you insulting her by taking away her entire character on the basis of making her 'a real girl'.I'm talking like i'm better than you because i am and more importantly so is Aang and Katara and Zuko agree

[matryosika]

𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗼𝘀

Includes — Headcanons, all members, S/D dynamics, degradation, praising.

Author's Note — As I have some free time, let me enlight you with a couple of my opinions regarding threesomes with the exact same dynamic as this post. Please, enjoy and let me know what you think! English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes in advance.

💌 Minho and Seungmin

The versatiles. Of course this pair was going to make it somewhere in this list, especially because this dynamic it's so like them. The best thing about this duo is that I feel they can switch between roles easily —they both have it in them to be either a soft or a hard dom, and I think that's fascinating.

A threesome with them could go both ways: Minho degrading you and Seungmin praising you, or viceversa —Seungmin degrading you whilst Minho tries to soothe his harsh words with sweet talk and compliments. This duo could turn sex into a competition, but they don't. They would rather work together to make you enjoy the moment, rather than to prove something to the other. Nevertheless, I feel like they're both possessive and get easily jealous, so they would try to get you to choose between them two from time to time, just for the sake of feeling proud.

Finally, I sense a lot of dumbification in this dynamic —either they're praising you or degrading you, I feel like both would use some elements of dumbification in their words with you.

💌 Hyunjin and Jisung

A playful, careless duo.

In my opinion, Jisung's competitiveness for power would drive him to be the degrading dom in this one —he has certain dominance and he has no fear in demonstrating it, especially when he knows you adore it. Being as cocky and confident as he is, while paired with Hyunjin he definitely goes all in. He cares a lot about your feelings, though, so the aftercare he provides is heavenly. He takes pride in doing things right, so don't doubt he is the best at everything he does.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, likes some contrast. He lets Jisung be as rough as he wants, as long as he is right there with you, holding your hand and peppering kisses on your forehead and cheeks, praising you for taking everything they're giving you, and telling you how beautiful and valuable you're throughout the whole process.

The best thing about this pair? Is how pleasing you can turn into a competition for both of them —whilst Hyunjin makes sure to treat you right just like you deserve it, Jisung focuses on treating you exactly how you like it.

💌Changbin and Felix

The experimentalists. They've tried everything at least once with you, have explored every dynamic from a to z until finding what they like best. And despite Changbin's dark and intimidating demeanor, you'd be surprised to know that he is actually taking the role of a soft, nurturing dom when paired with Felix in a threesome. Changbin is the type to hug you and hold you down for his friends, arms tightly wrapped around your body while his legs forces yours open. He'd whisper in your ear and tell you how good you're being for both of them, how you deserve the entire world and how willing he is to give it to you. Meanwhile, Felix loses no time into putting some contrast to his friend's words —a playful smirk hiding on the corners of his lips everytime he tells you how much of a slut you are, or how drunken on their cocks you've become. They both work great together, because the lovingly, sweet side of one balance the rough aspects of the other.

💌 Chan and Jeongin

They're all about learning.

For this specific duo, I picture Chan as someone with much more experience than Jeongin, in a way where he can teach his friend a thing or two.

Like Jisung, Jeongin goes all the fucking way in, not holding himself back in the slightest. Of course, this only after you've discussed and negotiated everything beforehand !

I picture him as the teasing, mocking kind of hard dom, one that enjoys degradation and humiliation much more than he would admit. I also feel he's into objectification, along with degradation, so expect a lot of "you're nothing but a sex toy for us" kind of comments from him while he fucks any of your holes.

At the same time, Chan would try to compensate his friend's hostility with some sweet, dirty talk. He is the type to hold your hand and wipe off your tears while Jeongin is mercilessly pounding into you, whispering sweets "one more, yeah? you're making us feel so proud, I know you can give us one more" kind of compliments.

For this duo, I feel like Chan is, between the two, the one with the absolute control. They're both asserting dominance and all, but I feel like he is the one leading the way for the two of you, especially when it comes to limits.

Other possible duos following this dynamic I think would work:

💌Chan (degrader) and Felix

💌 Minho (degrader) and Jisung

💌 Seungmin (degrader) and Hyunjin

💌 Jeongin (degrader) and Changbin

[ca-suffit]

Hi. I love your blog. Good conversations are happening here and I love reading through them all. I have a question re: the depiction of Louis as a woman in what I don't believe to be AU scenarios. Forgive me if my vocab is a bit stilted, English isn't my first language.

I'm a cis, pan, black, female who came into the fandom a bit late. Due to my religious background I haven't been in a lot of queer spaces, online or irl. I've been interacting with the IWTV fandom here, on Twitter and AO3, which has been enlightening. There's a lot of Louis MTF characterization (?), and like the other anon said, most of it is very positive and fun. But, and this may be my ignorance speaking, there's a racial/colourist element in casting Louis as a woman that I think many overlook.

Within the show's universe, Louis took on the more feminine role, particularly in his relationship with Lestat. So when some Twitter user drew Louis as a darkskin man with a very blond Lestat straddling him a la Santiago and Eglee, many accurately argued that drawing him as a hypermasculine black man was very racist. But I haven't seen people mention that despite Louis taking the more feminine (read nurturing) role in Season 1, esp wrt to Claudia, he isn't feminine? Yes, some of his masculinity was a performance (aside from the way that most gender roles are a performance), but Louis is still a masculine man. His masculinity is softer in appearance than maybe most people's in his world, including Lestat's who had no problem dressing up as a woman, but it's still there. In a MTF fanfic I understand making Louis a woman, but in analyzing his characterization in a heteropatriarchal setting Louis is no less a man than Lestat.

My issue is Louis is a very lightskinned black man. Such men are typically not regarded as masculine in the black community, especially if they're homosexual. It's the other side of the coin of darkskin women being denied femininity. So while casting him as a woman in an AU is fine, I find serious analysis of the show that depicts him as a helpless maiden without agency in the face of stronger men and a misogynistic society very wanting. Because aside from being colourist, it also sort of absolves Louis of the harm he inflicts on the women he pimped out, Claudia, and yes, even his companions. It makes it seem like he was only given bad options and he had no choice but to pick the ones he could live with.

And this happens a lot. Anyone who loves Louis more than Lestat and Armand always sees him as a victim. Maybe this is in reaction to the Lestat-centred side of the fandom that always points out everything Louis does wrong. But since I'm not on that side of the fandom, most of the takes I see are in defense of Louis' victimhood as a weaker/feminine man/woman.

Idk if this makes sense at all. Don't post it if it doesn't. I hope it doesn't cause offense to anyone because it's not meant in that way at all. I think maybe there's something I'm missing about how the black/POC/Louis-loving side of the fandom views him, so if anyone who understands things better than I do can tell me what I'm not getting I'll be very grateful.

Thanks for all you do.

hi and thank u!<3

I think there's definitely a lot to talk about here. There's a lot I've observed of the fandom changing over time as the show has aired, bcuz none of this stuff was rly happening with the character of louis until the show aired. I don't have solid thoughts on this all yet, this has me thinking about a lot of things at once and I gotta organize it all. so otherwise I'd like to turn this over to the fandom as a whole to give feedback on for rn.

[toomanythoughts4myhead]

One of a kind

Summary: You are a rich Capitol-born, he is a boy from the districts that was forced into a fortuen. Two different world seem to colide and find solice in one another. A unique bond is formed, a breath of fresh air for both, changing your worlds. You enjoy the brightness he shines on your life.

Warnings: None (he has gone through enough), mentions of past mistreatment (nothing graphic to be fair), overdose of longing and yearning from both parties.

AN: This was so much fun to write and i will be writting more for him, he is my pookie wookie. Love him and hope this reaches all the Sejanus stans, he deserved so much more love, i just wann smooch him and keep him in my pocket.

Word count: 2.3k

Sejanus Plinth who even after all these years of being forced to endure the company of rich snobby students and their even more classist and stuck-up parents, still hasn’t been able to or even remotely wished to befriend or in any way connect with any of these heartless animals.

Capitol!reader who is among said rich old money children. Despite everything you have grown to be kind thing, considerate and sheltered from the world’s worst issues by your parents. Ever since Sejanus got transferred to the Academy you have wanted to talk with him. The rich clique you went out with (mostly your parents ties or leeches looking for connections) discouraged any sort of show of empathy for the district boy, saying that breathing the same air as him was below any self-respecting Capitol citizen.

Capitol!reader who is not as stupid as other people make her out to be, with a surprisingly deep rooted morals, born from nurturing of empathy shown from the avoxes taking care of the penthouse you grew up in. As any other child of busy businessman, you had been handed off to the nearest nanny or avox to handle as your parents carried on with their financial legacy. The avoxes couldn’t speak but they could write and after you had managed to learn to write from a very young age, you gave been communicating with them. Your parents would have been worried to find out all the time spent playing or writing to the supposed capitol traitors if they had noticed sooner, alas they remembered they had a child when it was time for you to join the Academy and ever since then you have been forced into a social group of spoiled delinquents. You often missed the quiet and peace you had before.

Capitol!reader who manages to escape from the hold of said clique for the lunch break and finally after almost 4 months goes and sits by Sejanus.

Sejanus Plinth who gets jump scared as he sees one of the riches students in the Academy saunter over with a small smile to sit on the seat opposite of him. He had been too focused in his own head, mulling over how all the people surrounding him get the best food there is and even throw away a big chunk of it while people in the districts were dying of hunger, but the light click-clacking of heels on the marble floor snaps him out of his trance.

Sejanus Plinth who is ready to take whatever insult you decide to throw at him. It wasn’t uncommon for other students to go from passive aggressive remarks to verbal pushing and shoving, he never reacted to it. Your small smile and clam friendly eyes, the effortless way you moved with grace and no fake bravado threw him off a little. He was aware that good or semi-sensible existed in the Capitol, they usually just didn’t go near him, scared to taint their reputation. But here you were sitting with your legs crossed and with a warm smile, asking how he found the Capitol.

No demeaning tone or hidden message, no games or mockery, no looking down or judgement.

Just a simple polite question, he hadn’t had the privilege to hear that in a long while.

Sejanus Plinth who finds himself drawn to you ever since that encounter. You had stayed with him and listened as he went on and told you about all his observations on the Capitol, perhaps not all, just the ones he knew were appropriate to say to someone he barely knew. Despite that he found his voice grow louder and surer, his statements held more meaning and more personal influence.

Capitol!reader who listens completely enthralled in whatever he is speaking. No one had shared an honest opinion on the Capitol with her, all her family, friends and overall surrounding circle were too busy sucking up to the injustice that brought them more money. The closest is some fleeting notes from some avoxes as she had grown more of age, but they couldn’t share too much, they were on a thin line as it is. And here was Sejanus speaking truths she had only pondered in her head when alone.

It felt refreshing, no bravado or overcomplicated explanation, no bending of morality to further make his life better. He felt like what she had been looking for, the fresh air she hadn’t been allowed to have.

And in this moment, it seemed that they had both found what they need. A calm and sincere connection based on truths and freedom, shared ideals. Something calm and grounded, far from the tacky taste of the Capitol.

Capitol!reader who starts to feel a tingly feel anytime she sees Sejanus, its not love, she thinks, she wasn’t particularly sure, but she was so happy to talk with someone who saw her for her and not her parents bank accounts. With every week she managed to find newer and newer excusses to leave her friend group, not even caring if they believed her. She would spring the random excuse and almost dash to go find Sejanus who somehow was always near. Shed feel her smile grow and with time he returned it.

Sejanus Plinth who couldn’t believe that someone from the Capitol would spend willingly time with him, and even go as far as to ditch her friends for him. You cleared up for him how things worked in your controlled life and how most things weren’t really your choice.

The bell of the Academy rings and all students start packing their belongings, ready to put the end to another tiring day. The mass of red uniforms moves and parts like a thunderous sea and yet amidst the chaos he spots you almost immediately. Maybe it’s the serene calmness and comfort your presence brins along as you walk with a bag swung over your shoulder and uniform just barely out of place. Or that’s jus the effect you have on him.

You seem to also spot him from your position between your circle, your face immediately shifts from expressionless and deep in thought to happy despite the obvious tiredness. You slow your walking and your friends don’t notice as they continue to walk until they eventually exit and are gone from your sight. You and Sejanus meet in the middle, both walking over hastily to the other. There is little room between you, your shoulders almost press ad you head in a slow step for the exit. Sejanus fixes your collar as you walk, putting the material back to its place, never daring to look up in fear of making things too obvious.

“How was your day? Did your history test go well? You were so worried about it.” – he asks calmly with a quiet voice as he returns to his upright position still not looking at you, despite how sweaty his hands had become from the nerves.

You feel the heat radiating off of him as you walk, as his fingers linger jus ta second too long as he touched up your uniform, but don’t say anything. You simply wanted to bask in the warm feeling it brough to you. There weren’t any butterflies or nerves jittering in your stomach, but it seemed that flowers had taken root and were blooming inside your chest, making your body feel warm and at peace, excited to be near him.

“As well as it gets with professor Plextor, I swear the man truly wants to fail us. He hates children, not sure how he got the job or why.” – you reply and rub your tired eyes, feeling the hours of stressing and studying over the week catch up with you.

Sejanus notices, he notices everything about you. He lets out a small hum, an amused breath through his nose that made it crinkle up a bit. He was so pretty.

“I always knew you had it in you.”

You continue to walk in comfortable silence, soaking up the shared feeling of content that seemed to follow your pair. Sadly, everything is measured and the entrance is reached. It had started raining on top of everything and you didn’t have and umbrella, God knows it wouldn’t fit in your overpacked bag.

You both come to a halt trying to figure out what to do. You can spot the outline of the private car that drives and picks you up from school, sitting in the parking of the school amongst other expensive vehicles. Sure, with the downpour you will get soaked even from the brief ten to fifteen minutes it will take you to reach it, but you will go home and shower before you manage to get sick.

A rustling of clothes snaps your attention back to Sejanus. His academy jacket was off leaving him in the white shirt branded with the Academy initials, it hugged his broad torso and shoulder well and tempted you to feel the soft skin and muscle under.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping us as dry as I can manage. Come closer.” – Sejanus whispers and uses the jacket as a makeshift umbrella over the both of you. With his arms raised you can clearly see how the shirt was straining with his ribcage and shoulders, smell the expensive cologne he had sported that day, something smokey and foresty, it fit him well and made your head spin just a bit.

“You are ridiculous”

You say with a smile, voice barely above a whisper, too scared to break the bubble of your own little world. Sejanus throws you a smile with that boyish charm he often doesn’t show and you both take off. Shoes splash and splat against the wet stairs and later pavement. You’ve never ran through the rain, often just waiting for an avox to come and escort you with an umbrella.

Now you were laughing like an idiot alongside Sejanus, feeling light on your feat and at peace with the world. You had never heard him laugh, not like this. With full voice and honest happiness, nothing compared to the stifled huffs of laughter you had grown to long to hear. This was your new favorite thing.

Eventually you do reach the car and both of you come to halt Infront of it, breathless from laughing and breathing in the cold air as you ran here. You are just looking at each other, grinning like idiots. His curls were stuck to his fore head, damp but not wet, his cheeks were stretched by a big smile and his eyes shone so sincerely you would believe they were jewels.

A honk from the car and the opening of the passenger side for you startles you both. You whip around to look at the avox in the front seat who was urging you on to hop in so you wouldn’t be late for the annual family gathering. As you turn back you almost hit your head on his shoulder and you almost wish you had.

He is still standing with his arms raised protecting you from the rain and you smile. You place your hand on his shoulder and lower it down to his collarbone, feeling the slight stiffness that follows in its wake. The warmth emitting from him almost makes you dip your hand under the crevice of his shirt and feel the soft skin underneath, almost. Instead, you opt to look at him and the wat his gaze his fixated on you like you are the center of his universe, like the stars and the planets go round for you.

“Thank you, Sejanus, thank you for keeping me from the rain. Take acre and don’t get sick, would be hell to go here without you.”

You reluctantly take your hand off of him, already missing how nicely it fit against him and hop into the back seat of the car. His eyes follow you and his face has become unreadable and deep in thought as you had seen many times. You wonder if you have over stepped a line, maybe your own delusions had seeped too far in reality this time. His arms drop once you are sitting inside, both waiting for the automatic door to close. The rain falls on him in all its might and gets him soaking. His hair is stuck to his face and the shirt seems to uncomfortably cling to his frame, even if it gives you a better view of his torso you are busy worrying for his health.

He never lets his gaze drop now and simply extends his hand out for you. You look at the the broad palm and long fingers for a moment before you wrap your own around it giving it a squeeze.

“Anything for you.”

He squeezes your hand and barely visible warmth creep on his face, but you blame it on the cold. He lets go of you as the door finally kicks back into action and closes. Behind the tinted window you see him and smile, waving even if your appearance is obscured. You see him wave at you even as the car goes by him and heads for your house. You sit back down on the seat normally after you are done trying to spot him from the back window.

Your hand feels warm, the ghost of his touch still living on even after the moment, forever branded in your mind. A huge grin is plastered on your face and your cheeks have grown warm and red. Your heart is beating fast and you feel like you are glowing.

This was what love feels like.

(Being friends with the avoxes pays off, they are great wingmen. You try to avoid the smile and funny looks the driver sends you.)

[aplarently]

Meeting Ramattra

// Literally put a nonbiological being in front of me and I am RAVENOUS. 

# I love everything about this new hero already. I am the MOST hype. I have seen that others are going off about him as well. Couldn’t help myself. 

   Realistically, omnics aren’t very different from humans at all. We both ponder our own existence and share free will, clearly. We also similarly might be faithful to a creator or divine entity of some kind. (Ugh, I have been so existential lately so don’t get me started.) Like others here, I find Ramattra fascinating because of this sort of antagonistic ideology that all humans are horrible and nothing good could come of working with them. Which is fair. 

Have you seen the state of the world?

   Ramattra is rough around the edges, for sure. I don’t believe you can just fix a person who has experienced potential trauma and I’m not a fan of that way of thinking. However, I do think that time and some nurturing can soothe the hurt in others. 

(S/N): This took me a while. I was scraping up all the info I could before going in. IT IS MIDNIGHT WHAT. I cannot proof read this right now. Forgive me.

   Being on opposite sides is a good place to start. Surrounding yourself with beings that hold different world views is insightful and important to building strong relationships. No one is going to agree on everything and that isn’t always so bad as it can bring people closer in a strange way. 

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- You work as a behind-the-scenes operative at Overwatch; mostly as a radar systems engineer. Simply put, you check for any interference whether that be from above, below, or all around the surrounding base.

- Sojourn decided she liked you enough to put you to work in the east to work under some notable tech specialists.

- Despite that, a lot of this job involved a lot of late, dull nights by your lonesome staring at your monitors and just making sure nothing peculiar was happening on point. Of course the pay was phenomenal but your career really made you question what all the math was about in order to put yourself in this dimly lit cell of an operating room, twiddling your thumbs.

- One night on the job, you find yourself drifting off when suddenly you get a notification from your radar systems and jolt forward to confront an odd reading. There’s a feint red dot signaling an unknown entity in the surrounding area.

- This wasn’t that surprising as you would occasionally encounter one small dot and it would end up being an airdrop for supplies or something nonthreatening. However, that was in the early day usually and you would have your other coworkers with you to handle it as you were technically still a newbie on base.

- So to be honest, you’ve never actually gotten to this point in the job before and didn’t know how to handle this situation professionally. “Well.. fuck,” you mutter to yourself and decide that you should investigate regardless.

- Grabbing your jacket, you put on your ‘I know what I’m doing face’ and hop out of the operation deck to see what this potential intruder wants.

- This base in particular is a bit odd in it’s placement. It is a bit out in the middle of nowhere in Europe where it is typically raining which normally makes the radar quite hard to catch correctly anyway. 

- You secretly hope that that’s the problem this time.

- Upon exiting the base, the doors seal behind you and you pull out your handheld monitor from your jacket where it had been waiting before. With a few clicks, your small radar starts scanning the area as best it can in this windy atmosphere.

- You pull your hood up and pull out your flashlight to light your way through the darkness. Pressing forward, you squint to protect your eyes from the raindrops that threaten to impact them. 

- In the distance you see a low red glow where your radar is navigating towards and decide that this must be the interference. You raise your flashlight in the direction of the glow. 

- “Hello?” you try to project but the combination of the cold wind and pure nervousness made it difficult to do so. Your throat felt dry. “State your name,” you hear in response as you finally come face to face with an omnic kneeling on the ground. 

- You are taken aback first by how firm he was in speech but quickly realize there is another metal form lying lifeless before him. Disregarding his request from before, your initial feelings of fear turn to concern and it is evident in your tone “,What happened here?”

- He collects the body from the Earth and turns away from you in silence but doesn’t walk away. 

- “Unless this was your doing, this matter does not concern you, human.”

- He remains still as if expecting a confession or otherwise. You get a hint of an accusing tone in his statement and feel the desire to get defensive. 

- “I can assure you that I had no hand in this. I’m an engineer at Overwatch; I’m just trying to assist anywhere that I can,” you say as you put your device back into your pocket. You feel your stomach drop when you realize that you mentioned Overwatch at all. They didn’t exactly have the best reputation right now so it’s not a great idea to go throwing that around.

- You may have just signed your death warrant.

- He scoffs “, I’m not at all surprised at that. Of all the people to go around playing hero for the public, Overwatch holds the worst of them.”

- Trying to divert the conversation back to the matter at hand you shake your head “,I-I’m sorry, I really am just here to help. What are you doing with the body?” He holds pause for a moment. You notice his shoulders fall a bit as he sighs. “I’m collecting them to properly lay them to rest as well as all the others that your kind mercilessly slaughters,” he finishes as he starts to walk ahead.

- You feel your heart pang with a guilt as your expression grows softer. “I know this isn’t much but I know a peaceful, nice area we could bury them,” you say, half expecting him to just keep walking off in annoyance.

- He stops and pauses again but this time he hesitantly turns to you. It is hard to navigate at this hour and in this weather as it is. He hadn’t exactly thought that far ahead it seemed.

- “I... okay,” he finally says.

- You smile gently as he turns to follow your lead. “It’s (y/n), by the way,” you turn back towards him as you guide the two.

- “Ramattra,” he responds, but it sounds familiar to you. He spoke one last time and you almost barely heard it “,Thank you.” 

- The two of you continued to march on in silence.

[sunnydayroleplay]

What is your headcanon on what Joseph Cullman was like before he was trying be a better person? Was he doing illegal activities or something bad? What was his day to day like as the old Joseph Cullman? What was the old Joseph Cullman like as a person and wat made Joseph want to be a better person?

Before I continue this head-cannon, yes I am back loves! And for good this time. It's been awhile, I've been super duper busy, but that's not gonna stop me from now on. I'll be posting on the weekends and the occasional Friday! (Or whenever I feel like it during the week) Thanks for the continuous support despite all that!! Now with that said...

Contents Inside: Joseph Cullman, Mentions of Drug/Substance Abuse, Alcohol, Child Abuse, and other sensitive topics.

18- DNI, this is a NSFW post and so is the game it is based off of. This is an 18+ community. It is for your own safety, and you interacting not only jeopardizes that, it jeopardizes mine, and the creators of the games.

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From what we can interpret in the video tapes of his interview, we learn that he was a "rebellious" child in his high-school years. Getting a tattoo, a few for that matter that are rather obviously large. It'd be surprising if his parents didn't notice a thing.

But before we can ask why that is, we have the question of:

Why is Joseph so rebellious and reckless in the first place?

Any good ol' fashioned Southern American family would teach their children some common manners, right? Or despite the undertones of possible racism and homophobia that were very common and still undergoing a "wipe-out" in a time where that would occur, children were still taught to treat their own kind how they'd want to be treated.

Now, I have talked a tad bit about Joseph's childhood and backstory before, which can be found here. (I also already sorta answered half your questions, but I wanted more detail in this post.)

To sum it up, I suspected that Joseph wasn't always this "bad child" that he always seems to hint at. He had good loving parents, a good school life, and plenty of good influences on his young, curious nature. He was nurtured but protected against the world that young children don't need to know about yet. But like an unfortunate amount of marriages, they all lead to disaster. Financial struggles appear. Maybe some ongoing infidelity, addiction. The marriage just got rocky, and the moment the curtains were closed, it was just one argument to the next.

"His parents couldn't afford to have a kid anymore. So they started neglecting him. Putting him up for adoption was a no-go. What would their parents think. Or all their peers the next time they got a job and suddenly everything went alright? They'd be right back to where they once were."

The moment Josephs parents began to neglect and ignore him, Joseph was oh so young, but old enough to comprehend that this is a life or death situation for him. He learned this via abuse. Whether it was his mother belittling and destroying anything that made Joseph chuckle remotely, or his father coming home from work drunk and letting off some steam on him.

"With the constant shitty home life, his school life was affected enormously. His grades went down, and he just got around with the wrong people. He was like any "out of place" child. All he truly wanted was attention and some sort of leverage to lean against. Someone to just listen because he's used to being ignored."

(Read the post, because I now realize I don't know how to summarize)

With that "summarized", we now know what his childhood was most likely. Take this with a grain of salt.

In the "Bad Yogurt" Ending, Jack says “You’ve changed. You’re clean now. You can be whatever you wanna be.” Leading me to believe that Joseph followed after his fathers footsteps. Alcohol and addiction to drugs. In the interview where we learned about how Joseph got his tattoos, which was in his high school years. Because of this I've come up with another headcanon/scenario.

Because Joseph was forced to grow up too fast, and practically raise himself, he's a smart kid. He doesn't believe he is, but he's truly a smart and talented kid. Though papers and his grades say otherwise, Joseph could turn everything around in a minute or two if he chose too. However, due to the gravitational decline on his mental health and home life, he started to underage drink, and get his hands on any drug that was available for him.

One day, Joseph and his 'crew' got invited to a house party. It's late, there's drinks, lights, music, and everything is fired up. After long joyous hours and a couple twenty shots, Joseph is fuuuucked up. Passed out on the couch. You wanna know what people do when they're young and drunk? They do irreversible stupid shit. Joseph got his lovely arm statements by either being so passed out that his friends decided that this would be a perfect canvas to paint on, or he was "consciously" agreeing to this work of art we see on his character sprites.

With a soft opening to the wounds of his childhood and teenage years, how was adulthood like? I doubt it wouldn't be easy, or that he could get away with more things as easier. I feel like Joseph chose to be a better person compared to his old self because of the fact that life would be even more shittier as it continued and that despite saying he wishes he would die, he's just as afraid of death as his 10 year old self. So, if he wanted to live a better life for himself and regain his sensitivity of self again, he had to fix himself up.

To answer your question of "Was he doing illegal activities or something bad?" Your answer is yes, and here's a list.

-As said before, alcoholism starting at age 16.

-Drugs, and at some point did attack people because he couldn't get said fix.

-Would sell himself for money.

-Robbed local stores just to have something in his system for the week minimum.

Joseph knew he had to better himself, and comparing all of this to the interview tapes-- If you didn't know a thing about him beforehand, you would've thought he was a perfect guy.

But we all know that no one is perfect, ain't that right?

[beeeskneeess]

pac: what do you need to hear right now 🐚

if you are new to pick a pile readings, just take a deep breath and ground yourself and energy, then pick which pile you feel drawn to.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a collective reading

I use intuition and my tarot deck

DISCLAIMER: this is for entertainment purposes only. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Pile 1

Cards: page of pentacles, the high priestess rx, the 2 of swords rx, 6 of pentacles in rx, 6 of swords in rx, 9 of wands rx, page of wands

Back of the deck: Ace of wands

Random: 1010, plague mask, captains hat, the brothers sun // charles sun, (the netflix show with michelle yeoh[so good]), a guy sleeping, 

Songs:

invisible war - sitti

arthur’s theme (best that you can do) - christopher cross

Hallu pile oneee!!

I have no idea if i’ve just been watching too much netflix, but what first came into my mind was bruce sun from brothers sun. It’s a TV show on netflix. He’s always a reminder to stay soft and use your words. A strong message of don’t let the world harden you just because you are hurt. Don’t hurt others just because they hurt you. Stay soft, but stand your ground. Don’t lose yourself because of other things that are outside your control and influence. Clear things that don’t make you, you. The main message really is don’t lose yourself despite the circumstances you are in. Despite all the hurt, the expectations of others, the opinions of others or whatever you’ve been through, don’t lose yourself. Don’t forget who you are and what you’re capable of. 

Overall, nurture yourself and your inner fire. Let it burn. Nurture the fire within you. The fire that makes you, you. Not the fire that others have lit for you. What makes you passionate about the things you like doing? What do you like doping? What makes you happy? Start over again if you have to. It’s never too late for second chances.  Find that spark again and let it flourish. Don’t compare where you are to where others are. You are exactly where you are meant to be, even if it means starting all over again. You are never too young or too old to start doing that thing you want.

To do this, set strong foundations for yourself. Be committed and continuously put small efforts that lead towards your success. A small step is bigger than no step at all. And even if you can’t see what’s ahead of you, follow your heart, follow your intuition. Listen to yourself and not your ego of what should be and what could be. Listen to what you want. Don’t doubt yourself.Let go of anything that is really holding you back, like what i’ve mentioned. You have to let go of the expectations of others, the hurt, the opinions of others. And though it is valid, everything you’ve been through is valid, you have to let go. You have to move forward and look to the future.  And despite the challenges you might encounter, stay committed. Do the best that you can do with what you have. Rest, but never give up. Don’t beat yourself up too much, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just have fun with it. It’s a very privileged saying however, life is too short to take it too seriously. I guess realistically just have a balance of fun and seriousness. Also, ask for help if you are having a hard time. You don’t have to go through things alone. Just continue to stand your ground. Don’t be swayed by others, let yourself flourish. Stand in your power. Guard your passions. And find small things to fall in love with this passion as you go along your way. And fall deeply in love with it. Romanticize it. Because in the end, you’ll find yourself. As an undying fan of percy jackson books and series, “hold fast. Brave the storm.”

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 2

Cards: the empress, queen of swords, 3 of swords, 8 of wands, 9 of pentacles rx

The back of the deck: the wheel

Random: Walking away with a peace sign, trust, saddle, 222, I keep yawning and I feel heavy, daydreaming, sledding,1515

Song: I couldn’t stick with one, nothing really stuck i think it’s because nothing feels right or worthwhile. Maybe what is needed is silence for a bit to come back to yourself. 

Helloo pile 2! Whats upp?

I think overall, have you been pushing yourselves too hard :’) Please if you have to rest and get some sleep. You’re probably wondering when you’ll stop being tired (?) but, you’ve never even caught a breath yet to reflect on everything that has happened to far. You haven’t really felt your emotions in a long time. I feel like you got to listen to what you’re feeling especially if it’s fatigue. It’s time to take it a little bit slower. You’ve been going to fast, and maybe feel like you have to go really fast. I feel like I’m just lying on my bed ready to sleep. I think you should too. Even my brain isn’t working too well right now. I feel really tired as well. 

Overall, you need to trust a little. There’s a lot of doubt and the feeling of needing to explain yourself, but no need. Just do things because you want to. Especially if you need to take a break. Just sleep for a while. I feel like you’ve done all you could, now its time to leave it up to fate or the universe or any higher power you believe in. Let it go. Trust the process. You don’t have to be in control of every little detail. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out because maybe there’s something better for you out there. Give some time for yourself, don’t be too hyper focused on one single thing. There are other things in your life that matter as well. And you matter as well. Take good care of yourself. Nurture yourself. If you’ve been through disappointments recently because you feel like you haven’t done enough,let me tell you, you have done enough. You have done more than you know. Now it's time to trust that despite all these disappointments, you’re being guided to where you are meant to be. 

Funny enough, I don't feel like I have to say a lot for this pile, but I keep thinking I have to write more for this pile. But, I really don’t feel like I have to write anything anymore. I feel like it’s all enough. I think this is what you may be thinking too, like you haven’t done enough. But i’m here to tell you, you did, and you don’t have to be overworking yourself too much just because of comparisons you make of yourself against others. The message is kind of similar to pile one if i’m being honest here, this time it’s don’t let your comparisons stop you from resting or from thinking you aren’t good enough. Because you’ve already given so much. Too much even. Maybe it’s for faster results or what not, but you’re getting burnt out and you need to rest. Take a break. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’re tired or stressed. Take things slow and one at a time. Just chill and slow down for a sec. Nurture yourself again. Watch comfort shows or films. Listen to music that brings you back. It will get better. You’ll regain your strength once again, just give yourself some time. rest , but never give up. 

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 3

Cards: 3 of cups rx, 9 of wands, 10 of pentacles rx, queen of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 4 of swords, temperance, page of pentacles, 9 of cups

Back of the deck: page of swords

Random: banana, a guy holding his head and about to tear out his hair in frustration, dolphins, anchor, exercise, a girl with a hat peeking out the side of a boat breathing in the fresh air, surfing

Song:

So Slow - Freestyle

Hello Pile Threeee!!

Let’s go!! this is my pile for real. You guys are so hyper, yet so chill. HAHA the duality. Anyways, to start reading with the energy, I'm sorry this is very unhinged and TMI HAHA, but my lower abdomen hurts so Idk if you guys are constipated (cos I know I am) or it’s something with your root chakra. The root chakra is blocked when you fear change or just in the constant fight or flight mode. So, I suggest you try clearing this. Though, I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not very sure what the step by step process is like. But, in my not so expert opinion, I would try doing shadow work. Also grounding exercises for your root chakra. But I think it’s best if you guys also do some research on it. 

Overall, The main theme here is to explore. To get curious. Try new things, be open to new things.  Aaand,  I just wanted to say this cos you guys are my favorite kind of people, I hope you continue to be unapologetically yourself. If you have a question, don’t be shy to ask it. If you want to compliment someone, go ahead and do it, I'm pretty sure it’ll make their day. Anyways, what I'm saying is be a little more open to new things that come your way. Explore it in moments and really take it in, like let it all sink in for a bit. Relish it. Stop and smell the flowers for a while. I’m also really getting it to slow down. And ground yourself. I know you guys are hyper (and i love it ngl), but there still needs to be order. There might be so many things swirling in your mind that you’ve lost track and you already feel so confused on what to say and what to do because it’s all over the place. Take things one thing at a time. ground yourself, get to know your thoughts and feelings and be more open with these things that enter your mind. Take it slow. You don’t have to rush. No one is chasing you. You can just chill for a while. Take it a day at a time. Also, take some time out to feel your feelings and notice your thoughts. Explore them some more one step at a time. Take some time to get to know these. Even though my cards were a bit chatty, a lot of them flew out. I needed to tell it only a little cos I'll get confused if it was too much. 

In line with being open to new things, I’m guessing you also need to remove the things you don’t need in your life to let these new things into your life. You need to remove it even though you’re afraid. But if it isn’t making you happy anymore or if it’s an item and you aren’t using it, it’s best to let it go my friend. I hope you guys clear the things you don’t need, so the universe can bring you the things you need, and maybe so that you can explore more and get curious about the world, and step out a little bit. 

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 4

Cards: 5 of wands, 10 of wands, 5 of swords, the fool, 6 of wands, king of wands, 10 of pentacles in rx, page of swords rx, 8 of swords rx, ace of pentacles

Back of the deck: page of wands

Random: a girl in a maxi skirt standing alone in a deserted place. You probably keep telling yourself to focus. 

Hello pile fourr :>>

You guys feel like you’re stuck or stagnant at the moment. Like maybe you have nowhere to go, but you feel like there’s a lot you can do. Maybe before, you were very high achieving. Very ambitious. You did everything and anything you could to achieve something. But your eyes have grown tired. Nothing is giving you the same fulfillment and satisfaction anymore. You feel like you’ve lost all passion for things and are just working on a routine over and over again, and you’re bored. You tried the things that made you fulfilled before, but no bueno. It’s not the same anymore. And there’s no need to feel guilty that you feel like you aren’t doing as much as you would have liked as to. There’s no need to feel guilty if you aren’t chasing the same passions as you once did. 

There’s definitely a lot of things that the cards wanted to say if I'm being honest with you. But, It’s too much hehe i’m gonna get confused for real. But the main thing right now is to start fresh. Try new things. Start from scratch. Start from 0 again, and commit to it even if it becomes hard. Only change or switch it up when you can see it isn’t working out or is just bringing you down even more. Just keep trying new things. This pile is similar to pile 3, but more stuck, not knowing what to do. Cos for pile 3, they’re literally gogogogo, and scattered (in a good and bad way) So, keep trying new things and find the one that sticks because out of the many things you can do here, you can’t run out. Don’t stay still, keep moving. If you’re in a desert and can’t see where else to go, of course you have to keep on walking until you find the right place to stay. And you probably won’t get it on the first try,even if I know you really want to speed things up and hurry it up and keep moving forward, you got to try to stick with one first. You got to explore your passions and new things related to it, even if it may seem hard and what not. I know you’re doing what you can right now, and it’s very admirable, and I hope you just keep exploring, and don’t let failures or the need to rush get in the way or keep you stuck in place because you’re the only one doing that to yourself. You won’t be able to get yourself unstuck unless you take action, and pull yourself to try something, and keep on trying even if it doesn’t work, and rest once in a while when you’re tired. And you’re already focused enough btw. If you keep thinking to yourself, “focus”. You are, you just need to explore a bit outside of that “focus”.

I also wanted to say you are not worthless or anything if you feel like the things that give you passion once don’t stick as well. Maybe you just need a break. Try something else, explore new things that make you happy. You don’t have to revolve around one thing all the time. And If you’re worried that you’re losing that passion you loved so much, you're not, you just need some time for the fire to rekindle again. And sometimes that comes in the form of exploring new things.

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

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