#there aren’t any hot topics in my country lol

[sarafangirlart]

I don’t like it when ppl draw Hades as a young emo guy bc part of the appeal (at least for me) is that he’s an older more mature guy. Like idk man I’d rather be kidnapped and married to Disney’s Hades rather than a guy I’d see at hot topic.

[le-trash-prince]

I just started reading The Witch King (I’m only on ch 3 so no spoilers please), and since tea is a special interest, my attention was immediately drawn to the passage below, and I wanna talk about it a little bit because the way tea is prepared says a lot about a culture

He followed the passageway between the sleeping rooms to their section’s eating area. It was a wide circular space, with coal-filled braziers for pots of millet porridge, and smaller kettles of hot water for goat milk tea. Kai sat down on a mat and by the time he got his boots on, Adeni arrived and plopped down beside him.

Now, this is mainly speculation on my part since I’ve only just begun reading and have a limited set of context clues at this point, but I find it fun to guess.

What the inclusion of goat milk tea immediately says to me is that the Saredi (or at least Kai’s clan) don’t grow much of their own fresh produce. Considering the country is listed as a grassland area on the map, they’re mentioned as being nomadic, and they have goat and horse herds, I feel like this is a safe bet.

You typically see dairy added to tea when it’s made at a very strong concentration, like Indian chai, or Tibetan butter tea, or Mongolian suutei tsai. Sometimes that high concentration is just a flavor preference, but a lot of times it’s done to extract as much nutrient content from the tea as possible. The dairy not only balances the bitter flavor, but it also adds important fat, protein, and calories, making the drink a critical part of the diet in areas with limited nutrients.

I think if it were just a few drops of goat milk being added, it wouldn’t be referred to as “goat milk tea,” so I’m assuming it’s a lot of milk being added—my guess is a 1:1 ratio of milk to water. To me this also says the tea is not locally grown (again, nutrient-poor area), since it’s more common to see tea made with just hot water in tea-growing regions (at least historically, before ice machines and boba lol), where it’s more readily available and people aren’t concerned with getting as much as they can out of the leaves.

I think it’s also safe to say that they trade for tea in livestock, and I would bet it’s horses rather than goats that they trade with, a la the Tea-Horse road.

Of course, it’s possible that there are ppl who do grow tea in the Witchland mountains, esp since there’s only one mountain range on the map. So it depends on whether that’s because this is simply the only significant border-affecting mountain range or if there just aren’t any other mountain-y areas anywhere else. Again I haven’t gotten that far yet, so I’m just leaving room for personal error here. But I would be surprised if tea farms are mentioned anywhere in the book let alone in a place referred to as Witchlands. That’s just my hunch

Anyways I’m going to assume that because this book is only so long, it’s not going to include detailed information on niche topics, so the mention of goat milk tea is, in my opinion, a really efficient means of world building.

[disenchantedif]

Either 27 (fluff) or 17 (general) for Cameron? Whichever you think fits best, sorry I couldn't choose lol.

"Are you blushing?" and "Are you jealous?" for Cameron.

Early relationship and M!Cameron. Also, AU where MC's university experience doesn't immediately go to shit.

This probably got way too long so I broke it up some, read the rest under the cut.

The university cafeteria is packed as always. You're certain it looks the same as most like it around the country except this one...well, one table is full of Nephilim lounging with their wings out and another has Basilisks partaking in a venom shooting competition.

Maybe it's a bit unique.

You're sat in the back corner with your laptop propped open, a document on magical politics open on one side of the screen. Your homework for Advanced Lightning Manipulation occupies the other side, though it's more doodles than any actual work so far.

You absentmindedly begin to pick at your sandwich when-

"Hells!" You jump, feeling a hand on your shoulder.

You twist around to see none other than Cameron with his hands up in surrender, smiling sheepishly. You also notice that all eyes are now on your previously secluded corner, and the whispers are already beginning.

They say kids are vicious, and you can attest to that better than anyone. Everybody always fails to mention that a shit ton of young adults crammed into a cafeteria can feel like facing down a pack of hyenas, though. They thrive on gossip, and what's juicier than a fling between the Chosen One and the Unchosen One?

Nothing. Nothing is the answer. Or it appears to be, at least, when every pair of eyes follow you both around every corner. You had just started to fade into obscurity, then Cameron had to come along and fuck it all up.

Again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He says, keeping his voice down and out of range of prying ears.

"I wasn't scared." You huff, pushing your plate away.

You had already lost your appetite.

"It's no good?" His nose scrunches sympathetically as he sits beside you, "If you want, we can go grab dinner-"

"I don't have any money." You interrupt him, "Besides, it's fine. I'll take it back to my dorm."

"It probably tastes like cardboard." He jokes, but you see the way his eyes dart around, making sure no one approaches.

"Maybe, but it's food." You shrug, "I need to finish this anyway."

You nod at your assignment and his eyes light up when he recognizes it, "For Professor Karlin's class, right? I'm in another section of it, and the assignment is super easy. I can help if you want?"

You almost snap, say no and tell him to get lost. It's your gut instinct when it comes to Cameron; just get him to leave you the hell alone. Except you don't really want that anymore.

Which is the absolute weirdest feeling ever, to want Cameron Fletcher around. Theo would be laughing his ass off at you right now, and you're sure Viktor would give you his patented disappointed eyebrows.

"If you want." You say instead, still stiff but slowly relaxing as people grow bored of your apparently normal conversation.

If they wanted to see you throw a glass of Sprite in Cameron's face, they're about six months too late.

He twiddles his thumbs for a bit as you work, occasionally piping up in assistance, but his nervous energy is overwhelming.

"Is there something you're wanting to talk about?" You say, pretending to be uninterested as you read the same question five times over to look busy.

"Oh." He startles, "Um. Yes, actually."

It's silent for a moment, so you continue to prompt him, "About?"

"Um, this weekend." He glances down at his hands, "A bunch of the freshmen are going to Inferno."

You know Inferno well. Every supernatural person with even a slight social life in New York knows Inferno well. It's the only club around town that's hidden from mortal eyes; you have to be supernatural to get in...and twenty-one.

"Most of them aren't even old enough." You say, "They get fakes?"

"Yeah. Apparently, Theo knows someone." His face sours as he says his name, "That's actually what I wanted to ask you about."

"What? Inferno?" You raise an eyebrow, "I'm not going, if that's what you're wondering."

He gets what you're saying without you having to actually say it. You might enjoy parties or clubbing, getting a fake ID, living it up with friends.

You'll never know, though.

Your presence is like a sedative to any social gathering you attend. Usually, things just end up awkward and you leave early to go home and cry in the shower. At worst, someone mentions your reputation that so often proceeds you and you have to beat off a panic attack with a stick.

"I know." He says quickly, "I'm not asking you to go. I was actually going to suggest a movie night."

"Movie night?" You say, more than a little shocked, "You're that nervous about suggesting a movie night?"

"No." He twists the edge of his shirt between his hands and you almost feel sorry for the cotton, "I was going to ask if anyone else asked you to go?"

You blink at him, incredulous for a moment, "Cam, who the hell would ever ask me out?"

He frowns momentarily, "Off-topic, but you're a catch."

"I'm a walking bad luck charm." You scoff, "The question remains."

"I overheard Theo and Penelope talking in Alchemy." He explains, "Apparently they were both going to ask you to go."

His face lights up like a stoplight, the dark flush hard to spot against his tan but certainly there.

"Are you blushing?" You ask, eyes wide, "Cameron-"

"I just wanted to know if they did ask you." He frowns.

"They know we're...a thing." You say, unable to call it dating, "They knew you were listening and wanted to fuck with you."

His mouth drops open slightly before he closes it, lips pursed. He doesn't say anything for a moment, leading you to draw your own conclusions.

"Hold on, are you jealous?" You question, "Why would you be jealous?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He responds, catching you off guard, "Barely a year ago you couldn't tolerate me and everyone thought you and Theo were already dating."

"So?" You ask, "I never dated Theo. I've never wanted to date Theo. And, don't get me wrong, Penelope is gorgeous-"

"You're not helping."

"Like, drop-dead stunning-"

"Now you're just being an asshole."

"I would totally let her step on me kind of hot-"

Cameron groans and you finally take mercy on him.

"But she hasn't asked me either." You confirm, "As of now, I have movie plans with this annoying kid I used to go to school with."

He smiles hesitantly, "If they did ask you, would you rather go with one of them? I mean, I guess I'd understand."

Your brows furrow, studying the weight of the words before you respond, "If I wanted to be with someone else, I would. I want to be with you, though, so that's where I am."

He grins now, a full-on beam of sunshine glowing on his face, "I want to be with you, too."

"I hope so." You say, "I spent a lot of time convincing Viktor and Theo not to break your kneecaps. I'd hate to have that hard work go to waste."

He just sighs in response.

[deathstalkersdemise]

I'm having a bit of trouble with my mental state and with drawing right now, but I've made an OC! (And I'm trying out a new art style for all sorts of random little things). This is Miguel, he's a vampire!

And some info about him.

He's a half-breed because his father is a vampire and his mother is a human. He was raised by his uncle (his mother's brother) because his mother died in childbirth and his father may not even have known she was pregnant (or he ran away right after he found out, lol). His uncle owns a little eatery, and he used to help him with it, like washing dishes and stuff. And after a few years, not only did his thirst for adventure awaken, but also his vampire bloodlust, and he killed someone. He decided not to push his luck and leave the place where he lived for a while. And he told his uncle that it was time for him to go, the road calls and all that. The uncle didn't wanna let him go, because he's considered a fairly young vampire (he was born in 1960), quite inexperienced, but he realized that he couldn't keep such "hot blood", so he didn't interfere. And after that, for quite a long time, this vampire travels around the States and does what he does. I think he visits his uncle from time to time when their paths randomly cross or something.

With this neckerchief around his neck, he sometimes ties up his hair. He stole a jacket from some punk (why would a dead man need it?), now he's ✨stylish✨.

He doesn't care about people, like yo, they suck. He looks like he could kill a person for blood and spectacle, for fun, for stuff he likes and money or something, and dump their body in a ditch. But I think he would be happy (?) if he met a vampire or some human (or not quite human) who could share such a free but criminal lifestyle with him. Like, to travel around the world with someone, leaving behind a bloody trail, not to think about anything, just to live for fun is his way. I think, he's like "either you follow me or you don't" type. Although I wouldn't call him a leader, he's a free soul and someone can just join in what he does.

He probably knows how to play the guitar and can sing something very soulful? I mean, he can be very passionate about a song, he's just ✌🏻vibing✌🏻. And he likes all sorts of popular old songs (well, for him they aren't old, most of these songs were written during his lifetime, lol!), and also some soulful songs about the road, leaving home and all that, like country music? For him, this is a rather personal topic.

And I made a playlist for him, check it out! 🖤❤🔪

Oh, ok, I tried not to talk too much. If you're interested in learning something about him (or any of my other OCs), I'll always be happy to answer your question! uwu💕

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Time for my feels dump thoughts on Diabolical Box...! y’all, this game. this game. I don’t think people give it enough credit for... a lot of what it does, despite the messiness of the plot reveals... but it’s so special and unique, in ways I’m only now appreciating. also this is gonna be really REALLY fucking long I am so sorry, but I have a Lot to say about the ending parts... i just love this game so much...... so i wrote a fucking novel bc of course i did.

also i played this in October, completely unintentionally, so that’s noice.

The amount of voice acting and cutcenes in this compared to CV is amazing, I love it so much, even if it is funny sometimes the dialogue they choose to voice and then abruptly cut off a few lines later.

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about Luke jumping on Chelmey and trying to rip his face off and it’s just the funniest fucking thing omg; Hershel in the background going “NO LUKE THAT’S HIS FACE” is comedic gold.

Will we ever know what Hershel was going to say when Chelmey asked him what Luke’s relationship to him was... dammit Luke why’d you have to cut him off.

Hershel calling the hamster “generously proportioned” is amazing. also “I’ve always said that helping rodents in need is among the duties of every true gentleman” Hershel... please tell me what other situations have made you say that... please...

Why is there an entire subplot about finding this Karen’s dog, just to make Chelmey look like even more of an idiot? if they needed to pad the game out more, they definitely could have done it with flashbacks or in places that I’m... ahem... emotionally invested in

Flora’s treatment in this game is so infuriating to me, like... why did they think this was a good idea? What was the point of bringing her into the plot for NO other reason than to be kidnapped and impersonated? Was it literally just because they needed a way for Hershel and Luke to run into Don Paolo and get the box back from him??? Why couldn’t, idk, Katia run into him in Dropstone and get the box from him and save Flora, that would still get the box to her and keep Flora in the group, and it would tip them off to Katia being related to all this even earlier, and Don Paolo could still be shown there if he absolutely has to make an appearance in each game. I know it’s because he has to be built up and then revealed, and because Hershel always has to have a dramatic point-n’-reveal every game, but whyyyyyy does it have to be at the expense of Flora. :))))) It would have been interesting to see her reactions to Folsense and Anton and everything, and not have Katia be the only female involved in all this; maybe she could, you know, actually have a personality!! hahaaaa who am I kidding...

beluga: “it’s already been a year since she passed away” me: whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

Anderson talking about Dropstone and the sacrifices made to found it and how it can’t die out like “other towns”... with the song playing... whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

The sheer coincidence of Katia going to Folsense on the same day that Hershel and Luke would end up in Dropstone and then there, and on the 50th anniversary of the town... not a likely one.

Didn’t some versions of the game come with a real version of the train ticket to Folsense? I want it D:

i also want a real Elysian Box, like can i commission someone to make one minus the whole you know actual gold, please, i’ll pay aNYTHING- *sobs*

LUKE HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT HERSHEL IS AN ARCHEOLOGIST, AFTER ALL THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SHIT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH

Hershel to “Flora”: “you’re as white as a sheet!” Don Paolo, minutes ago while the others aren’t looking: *furiously powdering his face mask or some shit*

Why was Anton’s diary lying in the street though... it doesn’t make sense that Katia or Beluga would have it, and they couldn’t open it anyhow. probably just a gameplay thing that should go unquestioned but I want to knowwww lol. Also wish Hershel and Luke had reactions to the entries.

Ilyana tho. Also bootleg Clive asdfghjkl

I LOVE THE TOWER OF HANOI PANCAKE PUZZLES

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the obsession with the tea set... like yeah it’s fun to serve tea when you actually get it right, but I’m stuck with like two recipes missing and getting frustrated just trying and trying countless ingredient combinations on end because some of the npcs are NOT helpful enough in telling what to make :))))

Obviously Katia can’t reveal anything or say anything about why she’s there at all to keep the suspense till the end, but it would have been cool to see her working together with them and making a plan to get into the castle and help Anton aka I just wanted more scenes with Anton being nice and not flying into a rage over a misunderstanding ugh

It’s honestly pretty impressive some of the deductions/connections Chelmey makes in this game, despite his... other incredibly stupid ones lol

“iSnT iT oBvIoUs?”

WHY DOES HERSHEL RISK KILLING LUKE (AGAIN) WITH THE BOX. And why tf does it not do anything to them since they assumed it would...?

The biggest mystery of the series is how Pavel gets where he does, truly

The music in the forest is truly one of the best osts, god I love it. I also adore the Herzen Castle ost now, I never really noticed it before but it is WONDERFULLY creepy and heavy and melancholic and just... idk, those harpsicords go hard. damn.

Opening the Elysian Box is the best puzzle in the series, because of the meaning behind it. Or at least, it’s my favorite for that reason :^)

Alright folks so I’m gonna be completely, unabashedly honest here, and reveal myself to be the superficial, shallow fucker I am lmao: Anton is super hot and I’m still attracted to him even now, and I hate that we get so little time with younger him dklslskdfkflssd I AM SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY. BLAME THE VOICE ACTOR, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SOUND SO UNEXPECTEDLY DEEP AND INCREASE ANTON’S HOTNESS LEVEL BY 1000%... just. god damn. damn. the dining room scene. the lighting. the way he puts his hands down and closes his eyes at one point. the way he says Herzen. the freaking sass with “chalk it up to my bad taste then.” the little clap. his entire design which just oozes Victorian era anime bishie beauty. kudos to the character designer who was like “well they said make someone cool and handsome and i wasn’t sure what to do but i tried and i guess it worked out” GOOD SIR BOY DID YOU SUCCEED. how dare this man turn me on so much, fUCK. And I know it’s super shitty of me to not like his old design as much!!! but just!!! why the beak nose.... why.... he was so gorgeous and then you give him the Bronev nose treatment..... i’m already so sad over the ending but you make him look so much sADDER, THE SADDEST POSSIBLE DESIGN FOR OLDER ANTON. It’s not that I mind him being old, I just wish he looked more like himself... there didn’t need to be such a drastic change. But I know I’m just being petty lmao. anyway stan Anton for most beautiful PL character always 🙏 Descole and Clive’s hotness have nothing on this man

*ahem* But to get back to serious topics, replaying this now when I’m older, with the ones after it in mind, I think I finally realize why this game stands out to me so much from the others, making it my favorite. To put it as best I can, Diabolical Box, to me at least, just has a different feel from all the other PL games. Yes, it’s still definitely a Layton game, you still investigate a mystery, there’s still puzzles everywhere, it still has a relaxing city or country feel to the atmosphere, there’s still lots of charm, but once you hit Folsense and the climax and the ending reveals, the tone sort of... shifts? Not drastically, but enough that’s different from any point in all the other games that I can remember; I feel like Last Spector might have the closest kind of atmosphere to Folsense at certain parts, but even then the plot of that game is nowhere near to having the same tone as this one. Diabolical Box, when you really look close at it and think about it, is dark. Dark in a way that none of the other games are, despite the darkness some of the others do have. And I think part of that is because almost every other game/movie is connected to the overarching story involving Hershel’s past and people involved with him, and so the drama and angst is very much grounded in London or other places Hershel would be/was, and in his time, but Diabolical Box is unique in that the story and characters in it have nothing to do with him. And to reflect this, Anton and Sophia’s story is based in the early 1900′s, the Victorian era, in a city so far separated from, again, everything to do with Hershel, that if you were to just watch their story by itself and take the professor and Luke out of it, and you knew nothing about the series, you could reasonably argue that it isn’t from a Professor Layton game at all. What I mean is that Anton’s story could be an entire anime all on its own surely it’s not obvious how badly I want that, nope, not at all, completely separate from this series, and it would work; it could be its own period era-esque drama series, still with all the supernatural shit intact later on. I can think of a few existing anime similar to what I’m imagining. 

And I really do think it would be amazing, because like I said this story is terribly, terribly dark, and sad; as a PL game, like a lot of the other ones, it can’t go deep into the nitty gritty of what makes Anton’s story so fucking depressing, but just like... Imagine it. Imagine being alone, for so long in that castle, so long that you don’t even know how long it’s been anymore, with virtually no one, after having your heart broken and being abandoned by the person you loved the most, and who you thought loved you, and getting no closure about it. This long post goes a ton of detail about Anton’s character and things he was probably feeling/reasons for his behavior, but in short, Anton’s mother is never mentioned, so combined with how distant he was from his father and the fact that he feels alone in his role in society and that no one truly sees him as a real person, it’s quite possible that he clung to Sophia unconsciously as a mother figure, and, in general, she was the only person who made him feel seen, and loved. The only exception was Beluga, but Beluga leaves the town and Anton behind after quarreling with their father, so... It’s just extremely apparent when you read the diary entries and his dialogue (with the voice acting) that Anton was always alone and terribly insecure, and that Sophia made him the happiest he ever was - and so her leaving him was devastating to him. He was alone for fifty years (and who knows how long it actually felt, to him), in a lonely castle and emptying town, his entire family either left or dead, his body slowly aging without him even knowing it, while he had a daughter and granddaughter born without even knowing it, and all the while he’s left with the misunderstanding that Sophia might have loved someone “better” than him all along, never getting answers, having to live with all that grief and guilt and blame and jealousy and self-hatred over a situation that wasn’t even entirely true. Imagine what your MENTAL STATE would be like, jfc it’s a miracle he’s as sane as he is in the game!! Not to mention everything that crashes down on him within TEN MINUTES AT THE END. Yes, Unwound Future and the prequels very purposefully heap the angst on with Clive/Dimitri and Descole respectively, like “we are trying so hard to make you feel for this guy cry cry cry” and I fall for it like the trash i am love them too, don’t get me wrong, but Anton’s tragedy is much more understated but in my opinion is by far the absolute saddest of them all. I just... i’m crying y’all, this poor man. give him a fucking HUG. Anton Did Nothing Wrong 2k20; he doesn’t even hurt the people he lures in with his vampire scheme!! he lets them go without a scratch!!! what a guy... give him a hug and blankets please i love him so much, him and Sophia- *sobs*

and also as a side note, I honestly think Descole/Desmond would fit perfectly into this game for a lot of these reasons, in the trend of “trying to fit Descole into the first trilogy”; he’s got the right Aesthetic™ for one thing, but mainly just he and Anton have a LOT in common...! actually, now that I think about it, Randall and Anton do too, but I much prefer the notion of Descole and Anton interacting. honestly, I’m toying with the idea of an AU where Desmond and resurrected Aurora end up in Folsense and solve that mystery themselves instead of Hershel and Luke; i think it’d be fascinating.

However, by the same token, as much as I LOVE this game and characters for all of those reasons... it also makes no fucking sense ahaha. How the FUCK does the gas work. The illness that started killing people when the ore was first unearthed and is the reason everyone starts leaving, is THAT from the gas I assume?? but like why?? cause eventually it just turns to making the town appear as it was years ago and keeping people young, so...? ARE ALL THE TOWNSPEOPLE NOT ACTUALLY THERE, OR THEY ARE AND ARE JUST YOUNG LIKE ANTON; I’m still not clear on this!! because Hershel at the end says they’re illusions, and yet when you talk to the npcs so many of them complain about being tired and feeling old, so what is the truth!! It would make sense if newcomers see the town as it is in the pictures, but there’s no reason for them to not age... in fact, I don’t understand where the not aging thing comes from at ALL, since if the idea is that the gas makes what you think will happen happen, how tf did that even come about in the first place??? There’s no way everyone who inhaled the gas would think the exact same things and have the exact same hallucination. And if fifty years passed in reality, how long did it feel like to Anton/others; surely it couldn’t have been that long if they never questioned why they weren’t aging? If the gas in the box put Schrader in a coma, what was his theory about what would happen? Why does nothing happen to Hershel and Luke upon opening it when they clearly assume something will happen? Related to other things, how does the box become the source of a rumor, and how does Schrader even get it? Do people just assume Anton is dead or otherwise gone, or do they know/assume he’s still in the castle but don’t try to see him because of the vampire? Does Beluga know Anton is still there, if he does it’s pretty shitty of him to ignore him, and why does he think the box has to do with the fortune of all things if he possibly knew Sophia wanted it and knew it had something to do with her and Anton (seriously I don’t understand Beluga, I really wish they’d done more with him; he looks so shitty even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knew the least amount possible)??? Did Sammy know that the drugged flowers related to getting into Folsense? Did Katia know how to get into Folsense, and what was she planning to do if she never found the box in order to prove she was who she said she was? Why do some of the npcs act like they know the deep dark secret of Folsense and keep saying Hershel and Luke don’t need to know, and keep talking about the town being cursed, like do they really know the truth?? Or not??? LEVEL-5 I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I’M TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS. EVEN LAYTON VS. WRIGHT’S STUPID REVEALS MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THIS AAAAAHHHH

anyway DB best game anton hot Even with all the weirdness though that makes this game the most Layton the Layton series has ever Layton’d lmao, I still love Diabolical Box so damn much. I love it so much, guys. It’s not part of a huge narrative, it’s not connected to the main characters; it tells its own little story and it does that perfectly. It’s so unique from all the rest, like I said, the plot has so much depth I don’t really see talked about, Anton and Sophia’s story is so beautifully tragic and underrated on a mature level that none of the other games really reach, and despite how upset I am we don’t get to see more of them, their love story is so impactful and emotional just from what little we do see, despite some of the oddities of how it plays out... they’re so sweet together and I cry so damn much over them ಥ⌣ಥ Iris is one of the most beautiful and touching songs in the series, too, and my favorite. And I’m a sucker for the Victorian era and cute romance lmao, so it just gets me like nothing else does... it’s so wonderful. saddest PL game, I will die on this hill. Even if I seem to talk a lot more about some of the other games/characters simply because there’s more content to talk about and there’s more to say about the more flawed content. you can’t improve perfection *chef’s kiss*, deep down, I think, this game will always be my favorite. ❤️

[purplesurveys]

1156

survey by ehxsnos

First lets get the basics out of the way...

What's your name? Robyn.

How old are you? 22.

Where are you from? Philippines.

What color are your eyes and hair? Eyes are dark brown, hair is black.

When were you born? April 21.

Now for the fun stuff!

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Some people can fall asleep with their closet doors open (and this is a thing in the first place??)? I could imagine that would irritate me to death, and I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until I got up and closed it.

How many people have you slept with this week? Zero.

What size is your bed? Just a twin size. It’s all I need for now.

What do you drink with dinner? Cold water, always. We also usually have other drinks served at the dinner table - Coke, buko juice, and iced tea - but I never drink anything else.

What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Barbecue sauce.

Last person you kissed/kissed you? You know who it was, I don’t feel like continuing to mention them on surveys as often as I used to any more.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Two for the Road, The Proposal, and Toy Story.

What is your usual bedtime? From Monday to Friday I’m usually passed out anytime between 10 PM–12 AM. It’s a different story on weekends; revenge bedtime procrastination is my thing now, so I go to bed anywhere from 2–5 AM.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I always had different outfits on per year, but they were always the generic ones that we could buy costumes of at the mall – pirate, Tinkerbell, mermaid, etc. I didn’t start getting resourceful and/or witty with my Halloween choices until I was about 14 or 15 when I first went as AJ Lee.

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? February last year when I had my grad photo taken.

Take a vitamin daily? I am guilty of skipping my vitamins lol.

What do you wear to bed? I answer this all the tiiiiiime but I like wearing super-thin clothes so it’d feel airy while I sleep. I don’t exactly live in the chilliest country in the world.

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Can’t relate.

Ever have plastic surgery? No.

Do you want kids? I would love to have kids, yeah.

Where did your last kiss take place? Outside of that person’s car, just right before they got inside.

Four words to explain why you last threw up? I had a fever coming in and was starting to feel nauseous.

Last thing you ate? Adobo.

Do you get your nails done? Nope.

When did your last relationship end? September.

So tell us, what room ARE you in? I’m in my bedroom.

How many stories does your home have? Three if you count the rooftop.

Do you own headphones? No. The one I have in my room is my dad’s; he just lets me borrow it.

Have you ever...

Gotten a Brazillian wax? No, never tried having that yet. Being waxed looks like it hurts, so I’ve stayed away from it to this day lol.

Gotten so drunk you couldn’t remember wtf you did? Only a handful of times as I try not to get to that point, but yes, it’s happened before.

Been called a bitch? Sure.

Slut? No.

Pierced anything? I have a couple of piercings, but nothing I pierced myself.

Had a tattoo? Not yet.

Smoked a cigarette? Yes, but I actively try to make it a point not to form it into a habit.

Smoked weed? Nope.

Missed someone so bad you couldn’t eat or sleep? Sure, this has happened back when I still felt this way about the person. 

Worked out at a gym? No, never at a gym. I’d feel too self-conscious to get a gym membership altogether haha. In the brief time I worked out, I only did it at home. 

Snuck out of the house? No. With my parents, it’s much safer to ask permission than attempt to be sneaky since they always say yes anyway.

What’s the nearest furry object? That would be Kimi.

Is the room you are in messy? I would say it’s messy in my mom’s eyes but relatively neater than the average bedroom I would see at my friends’s and relatives’ houses. My mom just has ridiculous sky-high expectations when it comes to neatness and I’ve stopped bothering to meet them years ago.

What is the single largest item in your house? Either the living room couch or my parents’ bed, not sure which would ultimately take up more space.

When did you first become interested in sex? I mean I remember starting to explore porn when I was maybe 13 or 14, so those ages would be safe guesses.

How much money did you spend today? Zero and I plan on making it remain at zero. Payday is taking so long though :((((

What is the biggest amount of money you have ever had at one time? I think I had to hold around ₱7,000 in bills at one point in high school when my mom asked me to pay for something tuition-related.

What kind of cell phone do you have? iPhone 8. It sounds more and more ancient with each year that passes lmaooo.

Have you ever been under anesthesia? Never, and I hope I never have to? I’m scared of the things that could come out of my mouth.

Which Disney parks have you been to? None of them.

What does your bed comforter look like? Blue.

When did you last cry? Yesterday, from watching an emotional clip.

When is the last time you took medicine? Start of June.

What was the medicine for? It was to treat my UTI. I was already feeling so much better by the time I had to take that last pill, but I was instructed to take it for a certain period of time so I was just following the schedule.

What kind of health insurance do you have? I’ve actually never tried looking into the specifics of it. I know health insurance is part of my job, but I don’t even fully understand insurance yet HAHA and the thought of it makes me anxious so I haven’t read too much into the kind of insurance I have and the inclusions I can avail from it.

What is your birth control method of choice? I don’t have a preferred one. I’ve only been with a girl, so I haven’t had the chance to explore methods I could gravitate towards.

How much do you spend on your parents for Christmas? Several thousands of pesos, usually.

If you were given $1k and had to use it on 1 purchase, what would you buy? Like, I was challenged to finish it off on one thing? I’d get an iPhone 12.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never caught me drinking when I was not yet allowed to drink. Now that they know I do drink, there’s no ‘catching’ that happens; they don’t mind me downing a bottle of soju from time to time.

Have you ever crawled through a window? I may have as a kid.

What do you spend most of your money on? Food delivery, heh. :)))))))) It’s my favorite way to spoil myself.

Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yup.

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? Yes. I’m definitely a photo hoarder regardless of the person, so she’s not an isolated case; I also still have photos of people who aren’t in my life anymore, like Athenna and Sofie. I just don’t look at photos of me and Gab anymore, but they are definitely still around. Deleting them would be like deleting the last six years of my life and that sounds a little unfair.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Someone spread a rumor that I was bi and dating Andi back in 6th grade but I wouldn’t call that nasty.

How many rooms does your house have? It originally had three, but we had the balcony renovated into another bedroom, for my brother; so now we technically have four.

Would you sex tape with you in it for 3 million dollars? As long as I felt safe in the environment and with the person/people, sure.

Are you happier single or in a relationship? There are different kinds of happiness you can get from either; I don’t believe this is something that should be compared.

Do you have curly hair? No.

What is a compliment you receive often? That I write well.

How tall are you?: 5′1″.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? Not sure, maybe one of my parents or one of my best friends.

What is the last thing you said aloud? “Already?” Cooper was nipping at my hoodie and he was able to destroy a part of the underside in like three minutes.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.

What is one thing that can ALWAYS be found in your freezer? At least one type of frozen goods, like tocino or hotdogs.

How many pets do you own? Two.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? I’ll be 23.

Last time you went out of town? January.

First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, then I work my way down.

What kind of shampoo & conditioner do you use? I use a Dove shampoo and a Pantene conditioner.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? I don’t think so. We don’t have that here so there’s no reason for me to own anything from there.

How often do you hold hands with someone? Never. That’s a sensation I miss, for sure. But I’m fine – this is just my period talking HAHAHA

What was the most recent thing you bought? I got a Zinger from KFC because I was craving for fast food at 1 AM yesterday.

Could you ever forgive a cheater? Considering how stupid I can get when it comes to love, probably yes in certain situations.

Do you have Verizon? No.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? To a very, very tiny extent, especially compared to my siblings. I’m nowhere close to being a brat, though. 

Have you ever been pregnant? No.

What is your average cell phone bill? I’m on prepaid, so I load up my phone every week with a certain amount instead of paying for a consolidated bill every month.

How many piercings do you have? Two.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? I turn it on only once I’ve gotten in.

Have you ever had stitches? Nope and I’m terrified of the thought. I hope I’ll never have to need any.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Eugh, outdated question. Next.

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? Coffee.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse? No. I don’t use a mouse and my keyboard is already built into my laptop.

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 player? I don’t regularly use either anymore.

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing? I’m pretty certain this is a hand-me-down from my mom.

What are your pet’s names? Kimi and Cooper.

Honestly, are you in love right now? Nope.

Honestly, what color is your underwear? Blue.

Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Some days.

Honestly, do your wrists hurt? Haha no, but my back and shoulders do.

Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? Sure.

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Continued from this morning. Figure out a way to tell my parents without getting hit.

Was there anyone who "made your day"? Today? Not really.

Are you vegeterian? Nope.

How many windows are open in your computer? Two of Chrome, one of Spotify.

Do you read Perez Hilton? Ew, no. Does that guy still do stuff???

Is there a baby in the room with you right now? No.

Do you plan on moving within the next year? It’s nice to daydream about but likely not gonna happen.

Have you been to a baby shower? No.

What brand is your computer? Apple.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? 4-5 if we really want to make the most out of the available space, but at present it only has 2.

Are you taller than your mom? Nah. Everyone thought I would be, but then I just stopped growing. I am now the shortest member in the family hahaha.

Are you a cuddler? Only with significant others. I would feel uncomfortable if a non-SO cuddled me as I am not a touchy person to begin with, except when it comes to hugs.

Sleep on your back or stomach? Stomach. I could never sleep on my back; I feel too exposed.

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed? I always close the bathroom doors. Kimi has the tendency to pee on the bathroom floor so I make sure he doesn’t follow me in there.

Do you dress for style or comfort? More for style. I do take comfort into account, but looking nice and feeling confident in my outfit honestly takes precedence for me.

Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? 15,000 cases today.

Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. It would even be a bit of a relief, honestly, because it means less pressure for me to have sex to please my partner.

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes, both happy and sad tears.

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It depends on the person, I guess. Some can handle breakups well, and I’m not one of them.

How long has it been since you had sex? It would be 7 months this April.

Who was the last person to call you babe? My ex probably.

Last reason you went to the ER? I’ve never been to.

Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? Yeah. They were having trouble conceiving at first, but my mom eventually found out she was pregnant with me on her 27th birthday.

How old was your mom when she gave birth to you? ^ 27.

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes, many times.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? A couple of weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to shave again but I’ve just been sooooooo lazy.

What facial cleanser do you use? I don’t use any products on my skin.

Do you use a blowdryer? Nope.

How many purses do you own?: 3 – I now have more than one! Haha. A month ago I had to buy bayongs from this small business for these PR kits we needed to send out and they included a couple of purses as freebies. Since we’re all working from home, I got to keep them since I was the one who placed the order heheh.

What are your top five favorite stores to shop for clothes? I really just stop by stalls of small businesses I see at the mall and see what trendy pieces I can get from them.

What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? I like halter and tank tops, paired with denim jeans.

What about shoes? Sneakers. You’ll rarely see me wearing anything else.

Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now?

For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? I’ll feel icky about it every now and then, especially if my flow happens to be heavy; but for the most part I don’t have any complaints. I think bleeding out every month is actually kind of fucking hardcore.

What are your first thoughts when your visitor visits? Be relieved. I’ve never had irregularity issues with my period, so every time it comes it usually serves as a reassurance that there continues to be no problem.

Favorite underwear brand? Don’t have any.

Last thing you bought at the mall? Three new pods for my vape.

Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend?

What color are your pillows? They’re the same style as my current bedsheet, so they’re also blue.

What if an ex asked to be back in your life? I think it would be nice if we would at least have lunch somewhere to catch up, then ask her what led her to that point.

Don’t you just love DVR? We didn’t use it often.

If you're on a laptop, how much charge does it have left? 93%.

Last gift you recieved? I got lunch from Bea after our virtual event with the media for one of our clients. Later that day, Kata also had banana bread delivered to my place :)

Lesson you recently learned? What to do when my candle starts tunneling, which I had looked up literally no more than 5 minutes ago because it started happening to my scented candle :(

[bigdaddib]

Promise pt.2

This isn’t going in the direction I was expecting lol, but we’re sticking with it for now ig. 

At seventeen years old, Arya was terrified for Gendry to go to college, so she was forcing promises on him left and right.

 “Promise not to forget about me,”

 “I promise,”

 “Promise to come home every weekend,”

 “I’m still living at home Arya,”

 “Promise to come to my house every weekend then,”

 “That’s less than I come over now,”

 “You know what I mean,”

 “I promise,”

 “Promise not to like anyone better than me,”

 “I’ve made that promise four times now,”

 “Promise…” she wanted to make him promise not to fall in love with anyone, but she knew there were still some things she couldn’t ask him. “Promise that you’ll shower more often,”

 “Hey,” Gendry pointed a finger at her. “I shower more than you do and we both know it,”

  They made plans at the beginning of the year to spend the summer together, drive across the country or something like that. They didn’t really have any of it planned out, but they were leaving in four days. Gendry was helping her pack. “I’ll need a swimsuit, right?”

 Gendry shrugged, “It’s a possibility, for sure,”

 She threw a bikini in her bag. “Books?”

 “Are you gonna read them?”

 Arya shrugged, “The radio could stop working or something. I could read to you,”

 Gendry snorted and so did Arya.

 “Are we going anywhere cold?”

 “I’d prefer not to,” he answered.

 “So, no blankets?”

 “No, bring lots of blankets,”

 When they were done she pushed her four, fully packed bags to the side and shoved them off the bed so she could sit next to Gendry. They immediately leaned back into the bed with her head on his shoulder. He smelt nice, like any hot boy would smell, only better because he wasn’t just any hot boy, he was Gendry.

 Arya was angry the first time she realized he was more attractive then everybody else. She hadn’t realized it for a while actually, he’d always had the same face to her. But then she noticed everyone else noticing him and Sansa’s friend Jeyne Poole asked Arya if she thought he would go out with her, so Arya decided to take a closer look. It was the worst decision she’d ever made.

 She was perfectly content not noticing his broad shoulders or his high cheek bones or straight jawline. She didn’t need to see how he towered at least a foot over every other boy in school, in the world really. Or the way his light eyes glowed bright against his dark hair. It didn’t do her any good to notice these things, because while he got hot, she got not.

 She was still called Arya Horseface, she was still shorter than everyone she knew and it seemed no amount of kickboxing, archery, ballet, and numerous different haircuts weren’t going to change that. And before Gendry got hot, it didn’t matter that she wasn’t hot, she never even thought about it. But now that he was, and now that she noticed, and now that she couldn’t stop noticing, it meant he would never keep his promise. 

 Of course, she knew that promise had been shaky since the beginning, and she sort of knew he was not under any real obligation to keep that promise. But still…did he remember? Did he intend to keep it... maybe over the summer? When it would be just them traveling who knows where?

 “Jeyne Pool has a crush on you, you know,” she decided to tell him. It hadn’t been long since Jeyne had asked her about Gendry, it hadn’t been long since Arya noticed Gendry’s physical attributes, hadn’t been long since her life spiraled out of control. Only eight months, really, but somehow it felt like she’s spent her whole life feeling this way.

 “A lot of people have a crush on me,” Gendry grinned and Arya nudged him. How long had tons of people had crushes on him? Has he acted on any of those crushes? Was it too late to hold up his end of the promise? She liked to think he didn’t, or if he did she’d like to think he’d tell her about it. As far as she knew, there wasn’t anything she didn’t know about Gendry. As far as she knew, she either saw everything that went on in his life first hand or he told her about it, as far as she knew he was still a virgin. But maybe that was naïve of her.

 “A boy had a crush on me once you know,” she told him like it was a big deal.

 “Oh?” he turned to look at her. She didn’t look back; he was too close and his eyes were too blue.

 “Mmmhmm, his name was Micah and he followed me around everyday during recess,” She told him honestly. Micah and her had a good thing going, actually, before he moved away.

 “That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” he said.

 Arya nodded, “I know, they’re making a movie about it,”

 Gendry chuckled, moved onto his side and looked at her with his head propped on his hand. “Its gonna be your senior year, how does that make you feel?”

 Arya rolled her eyes, “It’s just another year,” and she wasn’t looking forward to it without Gendry. She knew how to talk to people and she wasn’t lacking in friends necessarily, but Gendry is what she looked forward to everyday, and now that he wouldn’t be there it seemed rather dull. He wouldn’t walk her to school or skip out on class to eat lunch with her. Now she had to make small talk with her lesser friends and wait until it was time to get home.

 “I bet, when I’m not there, you’ll find out a lot more people have crushes on you,” he told her.

 Arya frowned as she finally looked up at him. It was a mistake, as she knew it would be. With him so close she could feel his breathe over her cheeks and most definitely the firmness of his torso against her arm. In the position they were in now, she could almost imagine what it would be like to reach out and touch the scruff of his face, something she’s obviously already felt before but this would be different. This would be different because it would be a sort of lead up. She would start with feeling the scruff, then she would slip her hand into his rather fluffy hair (hair which he had her to thank for after making him promise not to ever buzz it off again) and then she wouldn’t have to do much else because he would already be leaning towards her, and then…

 Arya frowned at him, “What?”

 Gendry shrugged, “I think guys were just scared to ask you out cause we’re always with each other. Either that or they think you’re a lesbian,”

 Arya snorted. “Right. And why is it all these girls aren’t too afraid to ask you out, hmm?”

 “They probably think you’re a lesbian,”

 “I grew out my short hair, okay?” Arya huffed. He’s been making lesbian jokes at her ever since she had buzzed all her hair off. Actually, Gendry had been the one to physically do it while Jon supervised. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of laughing.

 “The memory will never grow out,”

 The night before they were supposed to leave Arya dragged Gendry to a huge party that was in celebration of the seniors leaving. Gendry hadn’t been to a single party throughout his high school career and Arya felt an obligation to change that. She wanted to take at least one of his virginities.

 “Its so…crowded,” he mumbled, crossing his arms.

 Arya nodded, “How observant you are.”

 She could hear him roll his eyes. “How long are you gonna make me stay?” he asked.

 Arya shrugged, “As long as it takes.”

 “As long as what takes?”

 “As long as it takes for you to get so drunk you’ll never want to leave,” She gave him a deep dimpled smile, one he did not return as he looked down at her.

 “How are we supposed to drive across the country tomorrow if I have a hangover?”

 “Oh please, we weren’t gonna leave until around five anyway. Come on, I’ll get you started,” she took his arm by the elbow, it felt too sensitive and revealing to take him by the hand now that she’s noticed him. One touch and he’ll know she was still thinking about that promise she forced him into.

 “You’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?” 

 Arya liked to say she wouldn’t, but if there was a challenge tempting enough, or if she got tipsy enough, she might end up wandering around. She wouldn’t intend to, she might even think she’s only a few steps away from Gendry, but she would do it none the less. “I’ll try not to,” she knew she could keep that promise at least.

 “Yeah, that helps,” his voice gave away that it didn’t.

 Arya supervised his next two shots and forced him into a third. She was sitting on the counter so she could look him in the eyes for intimidation purposes. Also, his eyes were pretty, and she was getting drunk with him. So, the closer she was to him, the better.

 “Here,” she gave him a rum and coke to sip on for the next hour or so. He was a big guy, but he hardly drank because he was afraid to turn out like his father, so she didn’t exactly know how high his tolerance would be. It did seem like his blinking was starting to slow down, but that might be her own intoxication reflecting off of him.

 “What do you want me drunk for anyway?” he asked with a smile, placing a hand on her thigh. She hadn’t realized he was standing right in between her legs until then. Kind of crazy, thirty minutes ago she was too nervous to hold his hand.

 “So I can take advantage of you,” she smirked into her own cup. Gendry leaned forward, resting his head on her should and the hand that was previously on her thigh moved up to her waist. “I see its working?”

 “Well, I’ve got a promise to keep, don’t I?”

 Arya stilled. She wasn’t drunk enough to handle this new topic with anything related to cool nonchalant-ness. This was the very subject she’s been thinking about bringing up for the past six months, after forgetting about it entirely for nearly seven years. Arya cleared her throat, “Do you?”

 She felt his lips smile against her neck. “After what you put me through to make that promise? You’re gonna take it all back now?”

 She bit her lip, trying to really think through this conversation, to be rational and coy and sneaky and…whatever else there was to be because it was right there. If she played her cards right, she could take it. She could have him, really have him, and all she needed to do was say the right words.

 What words were those?

 “I’m not sure, what promise are you talking about again? We’ve made so many,” she made a point to wrap her hands around his shoulders, link her ankles around his hips. His grip on her waist tightened.

 “Well,” he cleared his throat. “There was the one about you always being my favorite…”

 Arya hummed, “That was a good one.”

 “There was the one forcing me not to be into Sansa?”

 “One of my best.”

 “And there was…” he tilted his head so his nose was pressed to the side of her neck, the hand at her waist moving to her lower back. “I think there was one where you made me promise to never watch Desperate Housewives without you.”

 “Oh yes. I am holding you to that promise,” Arya told him firmly, allowing a hand to get lost in his black hair.

 “Arya?”

 “Hmmm?”

 “I think I’m drunk.”

 Arya laughed, “I think you are too.”

 “It’s embarrassing that it happened so fast.”

 “It’s cute.”

 “Don’t leave me the rest of the night?” it sounded more like a plea than the first time he asked.

 Arya was now determined to not let herself get distracted. What could be more distracting than Gendry? The man that was standing between her legs with his face cuddled into her neck? The man who had been turning beautiful and smart right under her nose and who she had just started to notice. How could she not have seen him? Was she too late? Or was there simply never going to be a right time?

 Later on, it was Gendry who did the leaving. Arya barely allowed it and only did because it was Jon he was leaving her for. She would’ve stuck around them too, if Sansa hadn’t pulled her away.

 “How did you get Gendry back at a party?” she asked, peaking at him.

 Arya curled her lip, “Get him back? He’s been to one before?” she didn’t like this. She didn’t like Sansa knowing something about Gendry that Arya didn’t. In fact, she hated it.

 “Oh please, as if you haven’t heard. The homecoming party? At Ygritte’s?”

 Arya’s frowned deepened. “I wasn’t here for homecoming, I was at Bravoos for dance camp,” she had been gone two months and Gendry had face timed and called her everyday for those two months. He had made a point to, since he was incredibly angry about her going in the first place.

 “It’s just going to be you and Jaquen, alone, in the middle of the woods? Are you fucking crazy Arya?!”

  “Yes, me and Jaquen and my entire dance studio. Also, several other dancer studios and teachers, alone in the woods, with bunk beds and like...Well water. Not the sexiest of places.”

  “If Christian camp can get sexy, so can ballet camp.”

  “Christian camp can get sexy?”

  “Arya! That guys a creep, I don't like the way he keeps...looking at you,”

  “Gendry! He’s my dance teacher, it’s his literal job to look at me,”

  “Promise me you won’t go.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. His pinky was already out and shoved right into her face. 

  “You’re not serious,” Arya blinked at him, unamused. 

  “I’ve never been more serious about anything.”

  “Not even when you made me promise to always eat lunch with you?”

  “You’re not taking this seriously,”

  “No, and I’m not promising that either. We already paid the place. You’re being stupid.”

  The conversation lasted longer and they both only got angrier so Arya didn’t want to think too hard about right now. She was trying to remain as calm as possible. He would’ve told her about a party, why wouldn’t he? 

 Sansa put a hand to her head, “That’s right! You weren’t there! Well, it was crazy. Nobody expected him to act out so wildly. I don’t think he expected it either, he was so mad at anyone who brought it up afterwards, and everyone brought it up,” she giggled into her drink.

 Arya hated that she had to ask this, “What’d he do?”

 “Oh Gods, what didn’t he do,” she said after her drink. “Skinny dipping, table dancing, body shots…he even got caught fucking some girl on the front lawn,” she smiled at Arya, “You would’ve been so proud,” patting Arya’s shoulder, Sansa walked away.

“There you are,” Gendry found Arya on the roof, carrying a more than half empty bottle of vodka. “You weren’t supposed to leave me, especially not to be a loser sitting alone on the roof,” he reached for a drink, but Arya took a swig instead of handing it to him.

 She shouldn’t be mad. That’s what she kept telling herself. She shouldn’t be mad. It was a ridiculous promise he was forced to make by a ridiculous child. It didn’t matter that he broke it, it didn’t matter that he had even made that promise to begin with, it was fake from the beginning. He was just agreeing to get her off his back.

 But why wouldn’t he tell her about it? Why would he hint at it tonight? That’s what hurt, the secrets. She’d never kept a secret from him. Never. But he kept this from her, and this was big. If all she was was his best friend, fine, she could take it, but best friends knew about each other’s sex lives. They knew about their party lives. To not tell her was…to do it at all was…

 She shouldn’t be mad.

 “You okay?” he asked, scooting closer.

 Her lips pressed together to not yell at him. To not say, “No! You’re not a virgin anymore and you didn’t tell me! Why wouldn’t you tell me?! Why would you keep me wondering about this stupid promise when you’ve broken it almost a year ago now? What else have you lied about? Was that not even your first time?! Does Jon know about all of this?! Rob? Sansa knows! How could Sansa know more about you than I do?! I’m supposed to be your favorite! You promised I would always be your favorite! Or were you lying about that too?!”

 It was all at the tip of her tongue, ready to be placed into the world, because that’s what she did. She said what was on her mind, she was honest with him.

 Or, at least she had been up until about eight months ago. Now she was just as bad as he was. She was lying every time he touched her, looked at her, every time she had trouble looking back at him. She wasn’t telling him the complete truth anymore, because she had hope that maybe he wasn’t either. But she was hoping he was harboring some different kind of secrets, secrets that matched hers. Not secrets like these, secrets that crushed hers into nothing but secrets. Into nothing but silly girlish fantasies. She never wanted those, she never wanted fantasies and pining, she wanted archery and dance. She wanted to travel the world, she didn’t want to waste precious dreams and ambitions on something so…so…so Sansa. But she did, and she couldn’t look down on Sansa anymore, that would be stupid, because she was stupid just like her now.

 “Arya,” he nudged her shoulder, she still hadn’t answered him.

 “I never expected you to keep that promise you know,” she wound up spitting at him.  

 He blinked, “Sorry?”

 “I don’t know why you felt like you had to keep it a secret…why you needed to lie about it, but I never expected you to keep that fucking promise, okay? It was stupid, I was ten, you really think I’ve just been sitting around waiting for you to take my virginity?”

 Gendry brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing it. “Arya…if this is about that one party—”

 “The one you never told me about. I just heard about it from Sansa.”

 “Everything about that party was a fucking a mistake, Arya. It was…one of the scariest nights of my life and I never even wanted to think about—”

 “That promise was a fucking mistake, this whole thing is a fucking mistake. I’m done just,” she clenched the bottle tightly in her hand, “Clinging onto you. I’m done worrying one day you’ll wake up and realize you don’t need me anymore, because that day came a long time ago and I’ve just been so…” her teeth ground together.

 “What are you talking about?!” he bent forward to try and catch her eye but she turned away. She didn’t want to see his eyes, she knew the second she did she would start crying. “Of course I need you, Arry, you’re my best fri—”

 “Because I force myself on you!” Arya burst. “I force you to make and keep promises you have no interest in, I force you not to move on from me, and I see now that that’s…that’s stupid! You’re gonna do what you wanna do with who you wanna do it with, and maybe you’ll tell me about it and maybe you won’t and I’m stupid for thinking—”

 “I didn’t tell you because I was so fucking ashamed! Not because I-I…I was acting just like my dad, Arya! I had unlocked him and I didn’t want you to look at me that way!”

 “If I’m your best friend, you would’ve come to me about that. I would’ve come to you,” now she did look at him, just so he would know how hurt she was, so she could rub it in to his stupid beautiful face. “Did you go to Jon?” she asked.

Gendry opened his mouth, closed it, looked at his lap.

 “I’m gonna stay home for the summer,” Arya said after a while. “You can do whatever you want,” she left him the vodka bottle before leaving. 

Listen...angst is my favorite. I didn’t start this with that intention but..uhh...

[lovemesomesurveys]

[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I’m not familiar with his work.

What's the best concert you've been to, if you've been? Jonas Brothers and Green Day.

What's the funniest screenname you've ever seen? I’ve been on the internet since I was like 9 years old, I’ve come across many.

Is there an animal you like that most people don't? I don’t think so. Most people don’t seem to dislike giraffes, which are my favorite animal. <<< Same. And doggos.

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No.

Is there a time period you think is underrated? I’d love to bring the 90′s back, that’s all. <<< I’m in.

What about music? Hmm.

Do you find yourself listening to music that's a bit more esoteric? No.

What are your three favorite books and why? I’m gonna give you my three current favorite artists instead: AJ Rivers, Willow Rose, and Mary Stone. They’re murder mystery and psychological thriller authors with tons of books and I’ve really enjoyed the many I’ve read from each of them.

What about authors? ^^^ Do you have any likes you wouldn't tell someone until you got to know them? Hmm. I think things would just come up over time, not because I’m waiting to tell them.

Do you have a favorite language? Spanish.

What about a place you've always wanted to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

What's something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Tell me a lame dad joke. I’m a sucker for those. <<< lol I am, too. I came across a compilation post recently on here that was pretty great.

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? I’ve never had that issue.

Do you have a favorite art style? No.

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? There’s several I find interesting and enjoy.

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Alexander Skarsgard. ;)

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My doggo is very quirky. She’s such a goofball.

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Some.

Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? I don’t think so.

Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Hm. I don’t think I have any “odd” fascinations. 

What is the thing you want most at this moment? I’d really like to just feel decent today so I can enjoy a nice Easter with my family.

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series.

What was the worst book you've ever read & why? I can’t believe I ever read the Fifty Shades of Gray books. *facepalm*

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Labs and German Shepherds are awesome.

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? --

What do you think about school in general? I think it’s important to get an education. <<<

What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The accident that made me a paraplegic and everything that resulted from it ever since.

What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? Good health is the most unrealistic. 

What are some of your favorite foods? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, and scrambled eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy.

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. 

Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I definitely should be.

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? There’s so many to choose from, though.

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Superheroes, maybe? 

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I always liked mixing Coke and cherry together.

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? I liked getting snacks and drinks from there, but I never ate their pizza or hot dogs or anything of that sort.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I’d just like to be fluent in Spanish.

If you could have any career, "realistic"-ness aside, what would it be? I still don’t know.

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Mary Kate and Ashley movies, Disney movies, and The Rugrats Movie. Ha, I know I cheated by grouping some together, but whatever.

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? No.

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? I haven’t felt inspired in a long time.

Micky D's sweet tea, y/n/other? I used to like it when I was younger. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had it, though. 

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Blah.

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Blahhhh.

What is one of your firmest beliefs? My belief in God.

Do you ever question things until you're unsure of even the silliest thing? Sometimes.

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? My health.

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness, and people who just jump on the bandwagon with certain things without doing their own research and forming their own opinions, not even really knowing what the issue is, they’re just following the crowd. 

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I’m quick to own up and admit to all my faults, but do I do I shit about them? ...

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Blehhh.

What are some of your greatest aspirations? I don’t have any. :/

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I wish we could see less division and violence.

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Hmm.

What are three things that make you the happiest? God, my family, and trips to the beach.

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I’m a Christian.

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES.

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have a MacBook Air, which currently runs on macOS Sierra.

What are you good at? Nothing.

What career do you hope to have? I really don’t know. :/

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school.

If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? Nope.

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? The Bible.

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? Actually, I was listening to Pandora recently for the first time in years and came across this 90s, 2000s, and Today’s Hits station that I was really enjoying.

Have you ever "lost" a friend in any way? How did you deal? Yeah, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Some were harder to deal with than others.

Any music recommendations? Check out that Pandora station.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, and never getting better/getting worse.

Most recently read book that you liked? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series. 

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don't like to take off? No. I haven’t worn jewelry in a long time.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? I have many. Any odd pastimes you have? I don’t consider any of my pastimes odd.

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My eating habits, for sure. I’m just really picky and particular.

Have any practices you aren't opposed to but wouldn't do yourself? Uhh.

Political standing?

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my earlobes pierced.

Do you have a favorite material? My soft, fuzzy throw blanket.

What are three names you'd name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? I don’t know. I’d have to see them and see what vibe I get.

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What would be considered dorky and amusing music?

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee, energy drinks (only the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink), and tea.

Do you like more "fruity" sweets or "savory" sweets? Uhh, I like cupcakes, donuts, brownies, cookies, muffins, and cheesecake type of sweet.

What do you hate the most? My health, myself, and where I’m at in my life.

What genres of music are your favorite? I like variety.

Do you believe in true love? Yeah.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No.

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I just wear leggings and graphic tees.

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? What are some things you believe strongly in? My faith.

Where's your favorite place you've been? Beaches and Disneyland.

What sort of books and movies do you like? Horror, psychological thriller, mystery, and YA for books, horror, psychological thrillers, drama, superhero films, some sci-fi and fantasy stuff like Star Wars, action, adventure, and romcoms for movies.

What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? I don’t do anything different, but I do love when it rains.

Is there a book you've read that really touched you? Yeah.

Do you have a favorite artist? As in a painter? No.

PC or MAC? Mac.

What do you love doing? Spending time with my family, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, catching up on social media and trending topics, surveys, listening to ASMR, watching YouTube, watching my favorite shows, drinking coffee, sleeping...

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be there, good health, money wouldn’t be a concern, happiness, I’d have a house on the beach, I’d be comfortable and relaxed and at peace... stuff like that.

Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist...? I am a Christian. 

What are your opinions on the media? There’s the good and bad. It can be pretty brutal and problematic, for sure.

Do you think that people throw the words "love" and "hate" around too much? Yes.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I have what I want at the moment. 

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? Oh, we’re waaaay past that point.

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? When they’re doing problematic things. 

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I like being wrapped up in a blanket, wearing hoodies/sweatshirts, and drinking hot coffee. Being hot is just miserable.  Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink.

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? A lot of colors look nice together.

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that.

What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don’t like any odd flavors. What’s with you and odd stuff?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? I’m not a big ice cream person, but the store is fine, ha. It was nice going somewhere like Cold Stone or something as well, though. I haven’t had ice cream in years, though.

What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Labels can be useful in some cases.

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Absolutely. There’s proof of that.

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Ha, it’d be nice to be able to undo them.

What was the most interesting class you had in school? I always enjoyed English. And then of course I found a lot of my psych classes interesting. Do you write? If so, what? Nope.

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there’s so many good shows.

Do you have a favorite culture? Learning about different cultures is interesting. What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Hmm.

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? Mr. McG, my 4th and then 8th grade teacher. He was everyone’s favorite. He made learning so much fun and really cared about his students.

Do you think that the world will end? How? Yes, how the Bible says it will.

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes.

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I only have my earlobes pierced and I have zero tattoos, soo I can’t say I’m big on either one.

Do you remember your dreams? Very, very rarely.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #269

“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”

What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D  F O R  T H E  G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[bomberqueen17]

fabledshadow replied to your post “meanderings0ul replied to your post “meanderings0ul replied to your...”

This is a Serious Topic and all i could think reading that last paragraph is “the paper’s gone to a Better Place”

By which i mean to say i’m in the camp of ‘make friends/allies locally and source as much as you can there because shit is going to hit the fan and thinking on a nationwide scale is going to be unneeded soon’ so like ...i’ll just be over here in my Oscar the Grouch trashcan lol

LOL, old paper is happier as soil, surely?

I also plan to do some papermaking, so I have actually been hoarding paper to recycle myself. (I want to make paper with the waste from flax processing but without a Hollander beater I don’t know how successful I’ll be, but I just met the person who owns the old mill on the stream by the farm and I want to ask him about setting up a tiny water wheel in his millrace so I can make hydropowered drop hammers. That’s probably a bit of a pipe dream, though.)

But like... I mean, I’m becoming a big advocate of coming up with local sources for your food web etc., and you’re not wrong, if shit hits the fan you’re better off the shorter your supply chain is.

But I’m really trying to be hopeful about it, and positive, and my point is, paying closer attention to possible local sources for your life needs can only have a good impact. The Troy Farmer’s Market just won a big award, it’s about 20 years old and the city has transformed around it and partly because of it, it’s such a huge focal point for the community-- and I want that, but more inclusive, I want American cities to be able to have inclusive local cultures, and I don’t know how to do it but I know part of it is not just blindly buying eggs from Wal-Mart that come from mistreated chickens tended by human trafficking victims halfway across the country because that’s the cheapest price you can get. That’s not how to eat, that’s not how to have a human society, that’s not how to care for yourself or your people. 

Knowing where your garbage goes, knowing where your food comes from-- that’s my point. And even more positively, it’s just nice to be in tune with your countryside, you know? What’s in season right now? Who has autumn blueberries, what a treat! You appreciate stuff more when it’s in tune with your environment, I think. Local flowers, not hot-house, are so much more beautiful, and incidentally you’re not endangering the health of Colombian flower workers and spewing carbon into the air from having tropical flowers flown to you. Like, it’s layers, here.

If your guiding principle on food shopping is not “who can give this to me for the absolute cheapest price”, but is rather “what is this, where did it come from, and did everyone handling it make a living in the process? did it live well and did it die well? was it produced sustainably?” then there’s a lot less incentive for the cost-cutting self-inspection bullshit that gives you human fingers in the sausage and so on.

And yes, if there’s any kind of destabilization, living somewhere where there’s a robust local food web is going to put you in a lot better position for, like, continued survival, than living somewhere that only has imported food. I’m definitely not not thinking about that.

Also, as an aside, I keep commenting on people’s “time to go vegetarian!” posts to harp on about how vegetable markets aren’t any more sustainable, but I should point out for the record that I ate a vegetarian dinner last night and am not actually some kind of meat fiend. (Tomato soup, all from stuff from the farm. It was super nice.) I do think Americans eat more meat than they need to, and that meat ought to be an expensive thing you build meals around and sometimes do without rather than the bulk staple so many American diets treat it as. (I’m relying on one half of a chicken for all my meat needs this week. It’s plenty, for two people!) But just discarding meat from the diet without giving any thought to the whole system is not going to solve any of our larger problems, so. Lettuce listeria will make you just as miserable as the e. coli in uninspected pork. And the horrible things Driscoll’s workers go through do nothing to convince me that berries are somehow more virtuous than chicken! I’m super tired of “meatless mondays” level of zero-introspection into the foodweb, is all. Demonizing a foodstuff instead of investigating the whole system isn’t going to help one tiny bit at all.

[courtingstars]

Notes on The Vanishing Prince, Chapter Three

Yay, Chapter Three at last! I had more notes than I expected, probably because I was looking forward to writing all of these scenes for SO LONG.

This was a pretty self-indulgent chapter on my part, for a lot of reasons. XD But I hope it still included some enjoyable moments, for those who have been looking forward to Furihata and Akashi’s feelings for each other progressing!

So keep reading for notes about Reo’s tarot skills, Akashi’s reasoning about his emotions at this point, and Furihata’s bisexual ogling of BASICALLY EVERYONE. (I can’t lie, the idea of Furi literally staring at everyone around him trying to figure out if he thinks they’re hot or not was super funny to me? Which was probably obvious. //laughs)

(Cut for tarot stuff, notes about platonic vs. romantic feelings, and me rambling on and on about bisexual representation and how I’m way too emotionally invested in N700 trains…)

Mibuchi and Tarot Cards

Some readers might be wondering if I made up the idea of Reo (I always call him Reo even though I use his surname in fics, I can’t help it, he’s just Reo to me??) being able to read tarot cards. And the answer is, I did not! According to one of the canon fanbooks, Reo’s special talent is tarot card reading. Back when I started planning The Vanishing Prince, I knew basically nothing about tarot cards. But I thought it might be interesting if Reo’s hobby appeared in the fic, since there’s going to be a lot of supernatural stuff going on.

Then I randomly started learning a little bit about tarot cards last year. I decided to explore it further, partly to write this fic, and partly for other writing-related reasons. (And it turned into this whole bizarre slash amazing THING that I won’t go into here.)

But anyway, a little over a year ago, I actually did a real-life tarot reading for Akashi, just to see what came up… And weirdly enough (or not, according to people like Reo, haha), the cards I drew fit PERFECTLY with the plot of this fic! So for the reading in Chapter Three, I used the same cards I pulled that day. That’s also why it uses the classic Celtic Cross spread layout, because I was still learning the basics at the time.

(I also did a reading for Furihata on that same day… So did it fit with this fic too, and will it come up in a future chapter? We will see. //grins)

Needless to say, I’m still no expert on the tarot! But I did my best to show how the cards could apply to what’s been happening in the story. (And what may happen later as well…) I also tried to balance the more traditional meanings of the cards with Reo’s interpretation of what they could mean for Akashi. Many experienced tarot readers like to use their intuition and the images on the cards as a method to interpret a reading, rather than the traditional meanings alone.

Reo will be in this fic a lot, so I don’t want to say too much about my characterization of him just yet… But I’ve always thought of him as someone who is guided by intuition in many ways, based on his canonical skill with the tarot. So I felt that he would probably mix traditional card meanings with his own instincts as he saw fit.

Akashi’s Feelings and Platonic vs. Romantic

So given how attached Akashi (Oreshi) clearly is to Furihata at this point, I think a lot of readers might be wondering why he still thinks his feelings for Furihata are platonic? Which is… an excellent question. //laughs There’s a LOT going on behind that, which is going to be unpacked over the course of the story.

But this chapter does briefly mention a part of his reasoning, so I thought it was worth pointing out… At the end of Chapter Two, Oreshi mentioned his other self was ignoring a major reason why he still believes his feelings for Furihata are platonic. In this chapter, Akashi mentions that reason in a different context:

“Akashi was under the impression that romance was supposed to include certain urges, about wanting to kiss and touch the other person. Supposedly, it involved a form of physical desire that was intense, possibly even explicit… As far as he knew, Akashi had never experienced any of that.

“True, he was still young. But teenagers were supposed to want to kiss each other, at the very least. Weren’t they?”

I didn’t connect it directly, but this is what Oreshi also meant in Chapter Two. Basically, he’s under the impression that romance has to involve certain forms of physical desire. And he isn’t experiencing that toward anyone, as far as he knows. Again, there’s a LOT going on there, and it’ll come up again in the fic. But it’s worth mentioning, since it’s not exactly obvious!

Personally, I find the question of what makes a relationship platonic vs. romantic to be really interesting… Especially since some people have romantic relationships that aren’t as physical. The nuances can get murky, so that’s definitely been a part of Akashi’s internal debate, which started back in Part Two of Storming The Castle.

About That Locker Scene

So now on the topic of being self-indulgent… I really couldn’t resist including that Seirin cameo scene. XD I love Seirin SO MUCH, and I really miss writing about all of them! Plus, I thought it would be kind of funny to answer a question that absolutely no one asked…

Which is, if we assume that Furihata is attracted to Akashi, then which guy would he find the most attractive on his own team? I honestly can’t remember why I came up with an answer to this question. //laughs But I did at some point, and now you all know my theory. (Basically, ikemen/pretty-boy point guards who are very skilled, but don’t have the most successful humor and are actually kind of huge nerds? Lol.) I also had a backup answer, which was probably obvious in the scene too. XD

And on a random side note, the phrase “some kind of magical ab factory” is one of my favorite phrases I’ve ever written. Pfft.

Also, if you’re wondering why the Rakuzan players didn’t get more of an appearance this time, don’t worry! You’ll definitely see more of them soon. (A lot more. Probably way more than anyone wants. //laughs)

On Furihata and Bisexuality

Anyway, in all seriousness, I’ve been looking forward to writing these scenes where poor Furi is trying to figure out his sexuality for FOREVER. There are a lot of reasons why… The two biggest ones have to do with LGBTQA+ representation, and explaining a key part of the romantic plotline of the series.

So I’m sure a lot of readers were wondering how in the world Furihata managed to be in denial for so long about his attraction to Akashi… Especially given that he’s called Akashi handsome and pretty, and has literally been ogling him for most of the series? //laughs So this is loosely based on something I noticed when I was younger, both in terms of my experiences and those of people I knew. When I was a teenager around fifteen years ago (I know, the dark ages, haha), the concept of bisexuality was really underrepresented, and often ignored. It did exist, in theory. But a lot of the time, most people just assumed you had to be gay or straight—or otherwise you were confused/undecided. Which was, of course, not exactly helpful.

The Spark of Light series takes place in 2010. While the overall understanding of bisexuality was improving by that point, there were still plenty of issues (and still are, to be honest). Also, the idea of bisexuality wasn’t necessarily being discussed in mainstream Japan… Being attracted to more than one gender has existed in their culture for a long time, of course. (Just look at their history and literature!) But from what I understand, due to a whole bunch of complicated reasons, there hasn’t been the same emphasis on recognizing the modern idea of bisexuality as there has been in, say, Western countries. That being said, things in Japan are changing a lot recently. And I could go into that, and how fascinating it is, but I’ll save it for another day!

What I do want to emphasize, though, is that not very long ago, a lot of teenagers tended to assume they were either gay or straight, period. For all kinds of reasons, many of us didn’t really consider anything else. And because of mainstream social conditioning—and homophobia—it often made sense to focus on your attraction to the opposite gender, without trying to figure out if you were attracted to other genders as well. To be honest, I’m guessing this still happens in a lot of places, given how much pressure there still is to be straight/have heterosexual relationships.

Which brings me to the issue of representation… One of the places I used to notice a lack of bisexual representation, oddly, was in fandom. Back when I started to post fic online (circa 2005), if fans had a headcanon that a character was attracted to another character of the same gender, it was typically framed as, “They’re gay.” Even if the character had relationships in canon with the opposite gender.

In fanfiction, this was often explained with something along the lines of, “He thought he liked women, but he really didn’t/was repressing his sexuality.” More often, the issue wasn’t addressed at all. Of course, gay-but-repressed is a completely valid interpretation, and happens in real life! But I always found it kind of strange that no matter how much the character seemed to have enjoyed their past relationships, people rarely concluded, “They’re bisexual.” I see bisexual headcanons a LOT more in fandom now, which is awesome! And I really wanted to contribute to that.

So when I started A Spark of Light, I knew Furihata would be finding out that he’s bisexual. I wanted to go with that interpretation, instead of implying that Furihata never actually wanted a girlfriend when he joined Seirin, or that he was confused, etc. I also wanted to attempt to portray what it’s like to be attracted to more than one gender, when you’re still figuring out your sexuality and you suddenly realize you’re attracted to more types of people than you originally thought you were? (And that some of the attractive people you ogled, but just assumed it was in a purely aesthetic/platonic way, were actually some of your crushes. //laughs)

So long story short… Furihata having such an obvious crush on Akashi, and yet not realizing it for so long, was definitely intentional! (Whether or not it worked well in the story being a separate issue, haha.) Because sometimes teenagers don’t hear often enough that they could be bisexual, so they don’t fully consider it, and it can take a while to figure it out, and sexuality can be fluid/change over time… And also, adolescence is generally a kind of weird period in life. XD (And so are the ways that social expectations affect our self-perception, especially when we’re young.)

In any case, this is just the beginning of Furihata exploring that issue, and what it means for him. But I wanted to make sure to clarify some of it as soon as possible, to give some idea of what I was trying to portray.

And Finally, Some Feelings About the Train Scene

I have to admit, I got a little emotional when I was FINALLY able to write Furihata riding on another N700 train, and thinking about how he has a crush on Akashi. <3 I’ve been looking forward to this moment in the series, and for Furi to realize he’s always been attracted to Akashi, ever since I wrote this part in The Fast Train to Kyoto WAY BACK in the fall of 2015:

“Akashi was sitting beside the window, just like before. He had a laptop computer balanced on his tray, and was typing away. Furihata couldn’t help noticing that he looked more unreal than ever. The ember-like glow of the sunset shone on his skin, mirroring his crimson hair and eyes. He looked like a picture of some kind, and way more mature than a teenager, with his blazer slung over an armrest and his shirtsleeves rolled up at the elbows.

Furihata had meant to speak first, maybe make up some excuse for running off, or even apologize for being such a nutcase. But when he opened his mouth, his tongue and throat felt strangely dry.”

So yeah, that’s how far back some of the foreshadowing goes. XD; I do enjoy writing subtext, but it’s so nice to finally be at a point in this series where the characters are having to face up to their changing feelings, and figure out what it means for them going forward. Also, I’m just so happy that I was able to get to this part, even though it took so damn long! It was worth the struggle. <3

I hope those of you who have been following this series enjoyed the chapter! And I hope you’re as excited as I am to be going back to Kyoto with these precious nerds. (It might get a bit intense, I won’t lie. //laughs) The next chapter is more or less ready to go, so my current plan is to post it in about two weeks. And I’m also hoping to post a lot more of the story during the summer. <3

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 125 - 121

125. Homens da Luta - “A luta è alegria” Portugal 2011

Lol the booing. GET OVER YOURSELVES, this is a great entry and you WILL deal with it!  🤗

“A luta è alegria” is first and foremost a joyful throwback to 70s Portugal, where each of their entries was a passive-aggressive anti-Salazar protest song, a topic which maintains its relevance in an age where Trump, Duterte, Bolsonaro and Erdogan (and let’s face it, Boris Johnson) are hotshot leaders. Bathed in saudade and accordeon noises, it cheerfully “celebrates” social oppression by pointing out the joys of the struggles at hand.  AUX ARMES, CITOYENS, FORMEZ VOS BATAILLONS!!! 

Of course the combination of the political undercurrent + the framing as A Joke Act made “A luta è alegria” a HUGE thorn in the side of the Eurovision Elitists: “EWW IT DOESN’T TAKE EUROVISION SERIOUSLY, BAD SONG, HORRIBLE ATTITUDE DIE DIE DIE”. Of course, this is the group that never judges beyond the skin deep and gets to see that the song is a valiant call to arms with positive uplifting lyrics! Some people do NOT want a better Eurovision to live in!  🙄

Let us therefore oppose the musical oppression by the elitists by throwing a picket and blasting this underrated song non-stop until hijacked by its catchy lusophone melody. 🤗   Traz o pão 🍞, traz o queijo 🧀,  traz o vinho 🍷 / Vem o velho 👴👵, vem o novo 👨👩 e o meninoooooooo 🧑👧

________________________________________________________________

124. Eduard Romanyuta - “I want your love” Moldova 2015

One of the best all-time openers, right? WHAT A AMAZING, SHAMELESS TRAINWRECK. The best decision Ukraine made in 2015 WAS withdrawing so Eduard could try out for Moldova instead, hijacking us with this ceaseless shitstorm of tastelessness: Disarmingly inept, “I want your love” elevates the term “slutpop” into an art, giving us tonnes of gratuituous sexuality framed in a 90s Boyband package.  BACKSTREET’S BACK, ALRIGHT~

As you know, I’m NOT into female objectification (being gay and a equalist), but here it actually improves the act. Eduard is the world’s least convincing fukboi, sauntering around like an absent-minded golden retriever 😍, engaging in fake MMA duels with the male “cops” (who, might I add, are dressed like hen party strippers. 😍 Moldova being so poor they can’t afford actual police costumes <3), helplessly bleating “I waaant your laaaaaav” throughout. It all feels like a 90s romcom, like Beethoven meets American Pie meets Police Academy IV. LOVE.

________________________________________________________________

123. EQUINOX - “Bones” Bulgaria 2018

[2018 Review here]

What a crock of shit <3

Enter EQUINOX, a “supergroup” consisting of four gay men and a morlock, assembled specifically to bankrupt Bulgaria Win Eurovision. Of course, my appreciation of EQUINOX is almost entirely ironic but jesus fuck I LOVE this desperate attempt for its incompetence. Getting a black gay guy to sing “LOVE IS LIKE A BLACK HOLE, EVERYTHING IS DARK” as your first line, in front of millions of people 😍 😍 😍  EQUINOX are utter quacks and it was blatantly obvious from second one. Paraphrasing: 

Trey: “It’s about love ~BEYOND THE BONES~”  Wiwi: “yes but what is love ‘beyond the bones’”? Trey: “It’s.... undiscribable love, like, what you you want it to be 👀” 

UTTER HOGWASH <3 So is it any surprise that Equinox’s veneer of ~mystical artistry~ *and* winner odds got to writhe into dust of the universe and way into unknown, the second "Bones” hit the stage? 😍 The live was a living, breathing disaster, further accelerated by an acute case of Sabotage Baptiste: Roll that tape:

Einstein was mistaken, because this goddess does play dice, and the dice are loaded.

Ultimately, EQUINOX are sort of a Houdek deal for me. “Bones” is an utter joke, and everyone is in on it, except for the Bulgarian production team and as long as I can just point and laugh at their expense, I’ll continue cherishing it. Bulgaria bankrupted themselves for a meek 14th place lmfao <3 However, unlike Houdek, EQUINOX aren’t awful people, so I rank them much, much higher 😈

________________________________________________________________

122. Eva Rivas - “Apricot stone” Armenia 2010

A PRICK-CUT STONE HIDDEN IN MY HEAAAD. 

For the sake of variety, let me throw in a song that is genuinely good, as opposed to a stannable trashfest. 

You know by now that I LOVE when countries display their ~cultural essense~ and this song blatantly displays Armenia’s.  Gorgeous charismatic woman? Check. Ethnic goat flute? Check! References to agricultural traditions? Check. excessive staging? Check! References to the ethnic cleansing? Double-Check!

It really just is a joy to see Eva regaling tales from her childhood, bobbing around stage displaying her raven rapunzel locks, brandishing a locket in her clenched first, as the giant apricot stone behind her blossoms into a tree. It may not be the most ~mindblowing~ Armenian entry, but it’s nevertheless a doll. 

________________________________________________________________

121. Roberto Bellarosa - “Love kills” Belgium 2013

WETING FŒR DA BEETER PEEL

That face.

That Victory Dance.

Those... dancers? 

I am not even sure how Robertoad managed to become such a hot commodity in Malmö, because I actually HATED “Lav keels” at first: I thought it was embarrassing, cheesy and stupid. Which is of course why I love it now, but at the time, nobody in Belgium believed in it. Not even Roberto’s backing singers. I visited to the male backing’s personal website during rehearsals and saw that he was booked to perform at ~retirement homes~ ON THE DAY OF THE FINALE LMFAO <3 The Semifinal itself was written down as “private project” <3 😍

So imagine my bewilderment when this fuckin’ song received points from 5 of the first 6 countries in the tally (INCLUDING A TWELVE!), and permanently hunkered down on the lefthandside of the scoreboard. And then, like a rolling stone it hit me BOOM BOOM BOOM that this bizarre amagamation of FRENGLISH

+ THOSE DANCERS (seriously, some of the best dancers ever?)

+ ALWAYS CARRYING WITH HIM A WEE STUFFED BUNNY

+ The fact that *Roberto*, in a year featuring Farid Mamadov, Koza Mostra and Gianluca, was the male act the fangirls imprinted on (the rumors of busloads of fangirls camping outside of Roberto’s hotel, clutching his picture.😍)

All of those things made Robertoad disarmingly inept and deserving of nothing but the most unironic love. RIP sweet goblin prince. 

[yoshi-p]

everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:

hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.

Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.

the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.

another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)

Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella? 

Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.

You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.

YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.

from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.

Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans. 

over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit. 

WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.

it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.

I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.

FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture. 

Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.

I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.

Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.

I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.

The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.

I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically. 

The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.

its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.

also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you

[toomanysurveys9]

How much time do you spend putting on makeup daily?: usually i don’t spend any time on makeup. on the rare occasion i wear it, maybe 5-10 minutes.. i don’t wear much...

Do you own a webcam?: there is a built in webcam on my computer.

What is your favorite perfume, fragrance, cologne?: i like the blackheart perfume from hot topic..

What does your favorite jacket look like?: i don’t have a favorite jacket.

Have you ever been to Savannah, Georgia?: i don’t think so.

On average, about how many notecards do you think you use per month?: none.

Did you watch Barney when you were younger?: yeah. i used to be obsessed with him.

Do you have a drink sitting nearby that is yours?: my water bottle. that has water in it.

How many bracelets do you wear on average?: usually none.

How many lightbulbs are currently on in your room?: none.

Have you ever heard of a band called The Afters?: i think i’ve heard of them. i don’t know if i’ve heard any of their music though.

Do you play any instruments?: not well enough to answer yes.

Have you ever worn faux eyelashes?: i have not.

What is the shortest that you’ve ever cut your hair?: a little bit past my chin.

What is your favorite flag from any country?: i don’t really have a favorite..

What type of cell phone service do you have?: xfinity. they use verizon towers.

Is it true that ginger ale can help cure a stomach ache?: i don’t know that it really cures it but it can help i feel like.

How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned?: none. i have never needed them.

What color is your flash-drive?: black and red.

Do you own any of those thick rubber bracelets? not anymore. i used to.

Have you ever built a sand castle?: oh yeah. many, many times.

When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, etc)?: lyrics and rhythm mostly.

Do you own more than 20 guitar picks?: i do not.

Have you ever worn a bandanna?: when i was a lot younger. What is the color of your toothbrush?: mostly pink.

Do you wish you owned a ray gun?: can’t say i ever thought about owning one of those.

What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup?: natural colors for eye shadow... and then black for eyeliner and mascara.

Do you own a pair of white converse?: i do not.

Are pink erasers really all that great?: i never really cared about erasers or their colors..

Have you ever worn a thumb ring?: i have not.

Is Katy Perry overrated?: i mean, i’m not really a fan, but i don’t know if she’s overrated.

Have you ever tried a Root Beer barrel?: i have not.

Do you agree with the phrase, “Hugs! Not drugs!”?: i mean... whatever.

What is the longest pair of earrings you own?: i don’t think i even own any earrings.

What brand of TV do you own?: i’m not sure what jacob’s tv is. i don’t actually own one myself.

Do you like My Chemical Romance’s album, Danger Days?: i don’t have that one, so i don’t know.

What is the color of your bedroom walls?: uh. tan-ish with a green accent wall thing.

How often do you use sharpies?: like, once every few months or something?

Why is there always a light in the fridge but not the freezer?: i don’t know.

Do you have a subscription to Alternative Press?: i do not.

Are high school football games fun?: i only went to a couple. they’re not my most favorite thing in the world. never have been.

Do you think Kanye West is a dick?: i guess he can be. but i don’t know. i don’t pay that much attention to him.

Do you own a dog?: we have two dogs. although we are probably going to have to find cocoa a new home because she keeps starting fights with phe and the last thing we need is to take another dog to the emergency vet.

At what size do ear gauges become gross?: when they super stretch out someone’s ear lobes.

How many concert posters do you own?: none.

You walk into Starbucks. What do you want to order?: small caramel frappuccino. i rarely order anything from starbucks though. it’s so expensive.

What type of car are you in most?: my parents’ toyota.

Is there a cork board in your bedroom?: nope.

Are you currently using a laptop?: i am.

Do you obsess over the Super Bowl on a yearly basis?: i do not. i’m not all that into football, or any sports.

What color is the shirt you are currently wearing?: mostly dark gray.

If you wear a necklace, do you keep it on for over a month?: i don’t really wear necklaces much.. but i don’t usually wear them that long without taking them off.

What is your favorite type of flower?: lilacs. but i love any pretty colored flowers. :)

How old will you be in 15 months? twenty-six.

Who was the last person who texted you? jacob. he just now told me he wants clothes washed before he gets home so he has shorts to play basketball and whatever else...

What is your current status? like, relationship status? i’m married.

What are you listening to? the kiddos playing and ashley is watching law and order: svu.

What are your plans for tomorrow? not a thing besides paying bills.

Who is the last person you had a face to face conversation with? i told lilli not to plug in the vacuum (wyatt is playing with it - all the toys and he wants the things that aren’t toys lol).

Do you believe in love at first sight? something like that. i’m a mom. i loved my babies before i actually saw them. but i don’t believe in romantic love at first sight.

Was yesterday better than today? not really. but it wasn’t really bad either.

What did your last text message say? i was just telling jacob that his clothes should be done right around six, which is when he gets off, and that i loved him.

Do you prefer to call or text? text. calls kind of freak me out.

What’s the nearest green object to you? there is some green on some of the toys not too far from me.

What were you doing at 12 am last night? i think i was sleeping by then?

When is the last time you saw your mom? a few hours ago.

Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks? i have.

How many houses have you lived in? at least nine, but it’s actually been a few more than that even (including trailers and apartments)...

What are you doing for your next birthday? i have no idea and it’s only a little over a week away.

What is your favorite color? blue, black, and gray.

What are you thinking about right now? that lilli is being especially frustrating today.

Any plans for this weekend? saturday i might be meeting two cousins - my grandpa finally found his twins that he has been searching for for years. unfortunately, terry passed away a few months before grandpa found them... jerry is still living. but we are probably meeting terry’s kids this weekend. either tomorrow or saturday. and saturday kayla’s parents rented a cabin for her for her birthday, so she invited jacob, wy, and me to go hangout with her there which we said we would do. jacob and kayla have plans of getting trashed. so i’m not sure what wy and i will be doing. but brittany and john will also be there, and brittany is also pregnant, so i won’t be the only sober one at least. i might drive wy and myself home when things start getting too crazy.

Do you have anything bothering you? not really at the moment.

Do you smile often? i smile a lot more now that wyatt is around. he’s the light of my life.

When was the last time you cried? i don’t remember.

Have you ever had a life threatening injury? not injury, no. i’ve had illnesses/health things that almost killed me though.

Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? nope.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? yeah. but it’s been a long time, thank goodness. being up that long straight isn’t my favorite. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope. i sleep with wy and jacob. i’m kind of excited for our room to get finished so i can start transferring wy to his own bed, and then his own room, before ellie is born. How often do you remember your dreams? pretty often, which kind of sucks sometimes. because they get weird, and sometimes just plain bad.

What is the main ring tone on your phone? just some preset ring tone.

What is something that you do too much? procrastinate.

Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? yeah. i do.

Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? i mean. i don’t read for other people, but i will read with people around. but nothing comes to mind that i wouldn’t do ever around people. What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do? i haven’t self-harmed in a very long time. the urge still arises though. sometimes it’s strong. but i don’t because my babies. Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental? yeah. kind of. When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? when we closed on our house on june 28th.

How often is your schedule busier than you would like for it to be? rarely. we rarely have anywhere to go or anyone to come over. Is there anyone in your life who expects a lot out of you? i mean, jacob kind of does. he expects me to do EVERYTHING besides actually get a job outside the home, and that will probably be added to the list after ellie is born. but i already work myself to complete exhaustion... he goes to work and then goes out with friends or comes home and plays video games. if he sees wy needs anything, i’m told. plus i have to make sure he (jacob) is fed, has work clothes, pack his lunch, etc. and eliana isn’t even here yet.. Are you more inclined to listen to your own intuition and/or desires, or to be persuaded by the suggestions and coercion of others? eh. i guess my own intuition. i’m not really around people for the suggestions and stuff. Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately? home. which isn’t all bad because i love our house. just gets a little lonely i suppose sometimes. Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time? not really. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? try to get wy to play. lol. Are there any choices that make you particularly indecisive? where to get food. or what to make for dinner. lol. When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win? when we thought we weren’t going to be able to get this house. What’s something weird that you do when you’re alone? i don’t know that i do anything weird, besides these. and i’m technically not alone when i do them... people are around. How did you find out about your current favorite band? i don’t know that i really have a favorite these days. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? walmart. close and inexpensive. Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now? not really, no. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? i don’t know. Does failure bother you much, or do you just try again? it bothers me. so very much. i want to do well in all things i do, so if i fail or feel as though i didn’t do good enough, it really messes with my head.. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? more success than failure, i think. What does success mean to you personally? when you work hard to accomplish something, and do that thing satisfactorily i guess, if that makes sense. Does your definition differ from the general consensus? i don’t know. maybe. What’s one personality trait you clearly exemplify? shyness. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? outgoing. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? i’m kind of more difficult to get to know now than i used to be i think. i’ve been used and let down so many times.. lied to.. it just doesn’t seem all that worth it i guess anymore? When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? i don’t remember. it’s been awhile. probably jade and some of the issues i’ve been dealing with with jacob... To whom do you feel the most important? wyatt and eliana. What makes someone especially important to you? i don’t really know.. the people who are important to me are my kids, husband, rest of my family, and a couple friends. i feel like the reasons would be pretty obvious. When was the last time you changed your mind? today. i thought about walking to the store but then decided not to since wyatt was too tired. Is there something you want but might not ever have? a job that i really love.... when i’m ready/can go to work. i’m content to take care of my littles for the time being. What’s something you’re working to obtain? i don’t know.. How do you console yourself when you’re distraught? i don’t really. my coping skills are definitely lacking.

What last occurred to make you feel particularly bitter? i don’t know. i guess jacob just leaving and not even having to worry about wy..

How would you describe the most interesting cloud-shape you’ve witnessed? my favorite was one that was shaped as a dog running. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? not so much. most are nightmares or just plain weird. What would you do if you did not require sleep? i don’t know. probably read more... maybe surveys. maybe watch movies or tv. probably definitely read. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? none come to mind. i haven’t really started any projects or anything. What in life serves to keep you going? my kids. How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up? pretty often. but i can’t. i have little ones that need me. What was the last good news you received? the last good news i got was that my grandma gets to come home today! she’s been in the hospital for a couple days for testing because they are afraid she had a stroke or TIA... i also found out i do not have gestational diabetes today, too, which was also very good news. What’re some of the important things around you? things... i guess that would be my phone. i’m still paying it off. and my computer. it has a lot of pictures. How long has your favorite song been your favorite? i don’t know what would be my favorite song right now. lol. During which time of day are you at your best? i guess the afternoon. i’m usually not overly tired at that point yet. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? usually more savory, but there are some sweet things i crave and whatnot. When’s the next time you’ll cook a meal? i don’’t know. Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food? depends on my mood and what the food is. How about hot or cold types of beverages? usually cold.

What’s one disgusting habit you have or have had? i didn’t shower as much as i necessarily should have when i was younger just because i couldn’t get myself to care about anything. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you need to be? oh definitely. About what are you exceptionally confident or self-assured? that i’m a good mom to my kids. and i make some awesome pancakes. lol. Who last told you to do something and did you do it? jacob told me to do his laundry, and it’s drying as we speak. What was the last situation or person you “got over?” i don’t know that i’ve gotten over anything or anyone lately... work in progress. Are you generally good at letting go of people who’re bad for you? not usually. Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself? pretty often, yes. What’re some things people could guess by looking at you? i’m tired. lol.

Are you bothered by any of your physical features? my weight. my overall face.

Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? well, yes. not that it seems all that important to him.

Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? i don’t remember.

[purplesurveys]

742

Are we alike? So True or False, Yes or No. Explain if you'd like. You are 16 years old. 16+6. You are a junior in high school. Graduating college senior. Math and Science aren't your best subjects. I was definitely more of an arts student. I only did great in math and science when I liked the topics we were learning, but otherwise I never felt like exerting as much effort for them as I did for classes like history. Your dog is really little. He’s medium-sized. He’s a really weird size actually hahaha and I guess it’s because he’s mixed. He’s too big to be classified as a small dog and too small to be grouped with the larger dogs. You love being tan. I mean I obviously don’t go advertising how much I love it, but it’s definitely nothing to complain about.

You think you are pretty for the most part. I have my days. You love making other people smile. Getting people’s approval is always a nice achievement. You love bracelets or just wearing jewelry in general. I think jewelry’s pretty but I’m particular about them – I prefer them to be silver and for them to have subtle designs, never explosive as I think that’s a tad bit tacky. Also I prefer necklaces to bracelets. TLC is one of your favorite channels on TV. It certainly would be if I still regularly watched television. I know for a fact Gab and I will tune in to TLC when I crash at her place. You have been in three different countries. Six, so far. You have ridden in a plane. Yeah well I live in an archipelago, so we’re separated from all the countries near us and have had to ride planes to get to them. You’re learning how to drive a car. I already did. I’ve had my license for four years. You have had 3 serious boyfriends. You believe you can only have 1 true love. As a demi this is typically how I think, but I like keeping my mind open. I know this is certainly not how it works for a lot of people, and that’s valid. You have a job. You have been to Aruba. No but if anything this reminded me of Friends because this was where Rachel was supposed to have her honeymoon before she ran out of her wedding hah. That contributed absolutely nothing to the conversation but yep. You love little babies or children :) Yes, and it increases as I get older. I have to practice for when it’s my turn, lol. You can't wait to get married one day. You always try to have a smile on your face. Not always. I allow myself to be sad or cranky if I want to. Your emotions change very easily. Sometimes. It’s not a dominant trait of mine though; I can typically keep my emotions consistent and it’s only volatile if I’m under a lot of pressure or stress. You cry very easily. Yep, I’m very sensitive. Earlier today I cried over a girl’s Tiktok about her dog with diabetes and the adjustments that had to be made for him, like how he stopped going down the stairs or sleeps a lot more these days. You cry a lot. Yes, because I cry easily. You have a boyfriend you have been with for a while. Girlfriend. You hate when people say 'I love you' too quickly. Idk, I haven’t had to deal with this.  The hair on your legs grow very quickly. Not very quickly but yeah it does grow back after a certain amount of time. I shave every one or two weeks. You always feel like your back needs cracked. It’s definitely not in the best shape, coupled with the fact that I already have scoliosis to begin with. You’re still trying to determine what you want to do after high school. I have career fields in mind but as for exact jobs, no. You love fashion. I like keeping up with what’s trending within my age group but I’m not obsessed with fashion at all, like I don’t know the fashion week schedules or who the biggest models are these days, and I still think some fashion trends don’t make sense. You love shopping for school dance dresses. You think decorating is very cool. It’s okay. I wouldn’t do it myself but I have friends who are great at decorating, like Laurice, and I think it’s a good and a pretty cool skill to have. You always seem to be cold. Not always, but I do feel cold more easily than the people I know. I’m always the first one to grab a jacket, a blanket, or to move further away from the AC. Still, I prefer being cold than hot. You love hot weather. Oh my god fuck no. 22 years of living in a tropical country and I’ve had just about enough of the sun which is all we get all year round. I can’t wait to live somewhere with a lot of rain and with snow. You have tanned in a tanning bed. I don’t have to; plus aren’t those really unhealthy to stay in? You aren't a very good cook. I can’t even call myself a cook. You aren't an independent person. Hah, no sir. I find comfort in doing almost everything with at least one person with me, even if it’s just grabbing a snack or having something photocopied in school. I went to UPTC alone ONCE just to try having dinner all by myself cause everyone seemed to have great experiences of it, but I hated every second of being alone. You like any type of food, you aren't picky. The only foods I’ll refuse are fruit and anything with raisins on them, but generally I’m not hard to feed.

Country is your favorite kind of music. You quit watching American Idol. I quit when I realized all the wrong people kept winning. If I remember right, the last straw for me was Scotty McCreery over Lauren Alaina. You like the show 'Big Brother'. I never did get into it, but everyone did. I used to think something was wrong with me for not enjoying any season of the show, but eventually I stopped caring. You used to like Jersey Shore. I was only interested in it because it felt edgy to watch as a 12 year old lmao, but I was never obsessed. You think tye dye is super cool. It’s definitely cool and fun to make, but it’s not the first, fifth, or thirtieth thing I’d wear. You love glitter. Your nails are almost always painted. Total opposite. You have had sex before. You have a best friend of the opposite sex. I have close friends, but no best friends. Andrew is the best closest guy friend I have, probs. You have been stabbed in the back a few times. You don't trust many people. Again, quite the opposite. I like to believe everyone deserves trust in the beginning, but I have a rule to cut anyone who breaks that trust out of my life. You don't have many close friends. I have a lot of friends but I like keeping my closest circle small. You’re normally nice to everyone. Duh? You like to meet new people. Egh, it depends on who it is. I can find other people exhausting to talk to from the get-go; or sometimes I’ll find them too different and I just know no friendship is gonna come out of it. Sometimes you can be pretty shy. I’ve learned to be a bit more extroverted through the years but I’ve never lost my trademark shyness hahaha. You don't have any secrets. This blog is a big glaring secret from everyone I know. Your boyfriend has supported you through your hardest times. Girlfriend. You have a scar from cutting your leg while shaving. Not right now, but it’s happened a few times. You think flowers are very pretty. They’re okay. I’m not crazy about them but I do like giving/receiving bouquets. You hate nature. I have no reason to; it’s peaceful and beautiful. You don't like animals very much. Love them. You like to eat meat, any kind. I wouldn’t try all kinds of meat. Like I wouldn’t eat cats, dogs, or anything that’s critically endangered. But I do tend to be adventurous with meat, much like with any other dish I try. You have eaten donkey before. You’re pretty close with your parents. Like I said in an old survey, we have a buddy-type of relationship. We don’t hate each other but we also wouldn’t have heart-to-heart talks with one another and we’re so not emotionally close. You are also very close with your sibling(s). My sister and I also tend to treat each other like friends, ^ just like that. We’re not emotionally close either; when my sister’s cat died last week I could only send her comforting messages on Messenger because we’re not the type to visit each other’s rooms and cry to each other. You don't mind being around your family. If there is anything I learned in the last two months, it’s that this exact fact holds true. You love summer. Only when there is a trip planned. Otherwise, I don’t enjoy the weather at all. You don't know how to swim. There were always a couple of months allotted for swimming PEs in all years in my old school, so I know basic swimming and treading. You like being a teenager. It was okay. It certainly got better when I finally fit in somewhere and got invited to teenager stuff. You thought you were depressed at some point in your life. I was, throughout my teenage years. These days I’ll occasionally have very low points, but I don’t think it’s severe depression anymore. You feel like someone is growing apart from you. No, not at this point in my life. You like to take walks. With this climate, I always bitch about walking haha. When school was still ongoing I would typically drive everywhere, no matter how near my destination was.   You aren't very good at buying gifts for people. I wouldn’t say this. I pride myself on being a good listener and by extension, being a good gift-giver. I’ve often made Gab cry with my gifts. You love seeing couples in love. Sure but tbh I’m partial to same-sex couples because I see them a lot less. When I see one in public I always make sure to give them a kind smile. You love weddings :) I haven’t been to one since I was 9, but sure. You are addicted to sweets. You get scared very easily. Only at night. You don't like to be alone. If I’m doing stuff outside, then yes this is the case. Otherwise I don’t mind having alone time at home. Many people have asked if you were black, but really you're white. I’m neither of these. You could do without the TV. Have been for a few years now. You text a lotttt. Back when everything was normal and I had load on my phone every week, yep. I don’t really need to text anyone these days, though. You tend to make extra letters on your words. Only occasionally. You hate when people use bad grammar. It only bugs me when I expect them to know better, like if an American is being cocky or racist but still fucks up basic grammar; or if a Filipino wants to act like a know-it-all and obviously has poor command of English, but still forces themselves to speak it when they could very well speak Filipino in this hugely bilingual country lmao. You have a little bit of chub on you but you aren't fat. Not really. I only get bloated after I eat but my metabolism is very quick and it disappears relatively quickly. You are pretty good at rollerblading. I was never good at it even though I practiced a lot. I generally have bad balance. You wish you were a good gymnast. Sure, I feel that this is a very cool skill to have. I remember being fascinated by the gymnasts from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo and how prettily they spun their ribbons. You are a competitive cheerleader. I am not, but it was one of my dreams. You are very uncoordinated. I wouldn’t say very. I’m not very physical these days and I can be clumsy, but my hand-eye coordination has stayed sharp all these years from playing table tennis; and I was good at futsal and had good reflexes when we had to play it for PE. You aren't good at making decisions, but you try your best. You love God very much :) This is such a hard pass it deserves a strikethrough.

You love lotion and perfume. I love the variety that’s available out there, but I don’t splurge. You wish you could own everything in Victoria's Secret. You wish you could be a model. You hate when girls are sluts. Even the word ‘slut’ isn’t gonna fly by in 2020, much less this entire statement. You hate when people act dumb on purpose. Don’t we all? You don't care what other people think of you. Depends on who it is. Some opinions will matter, and some won’t. You love to cuddle. You wish you could bake. I wish I can be good at the kitchen in general but tbh I always let my fear of fire and knives take over and I’m always left too scared to learn. You would like to own a pool. When I’m richer, sure. You kind of regret a few things... You want a little tattoo that no one can see. I kind of want my tattoos to be personal to me, yes.

[arialerendeair]

I’m always hesitant to jump in on this particular topic, but (at the risk of inviting more anon hate, lol) -

I think there’s a mix of a lot of particular little issues that contribute to an overall big problem when it comes to someone being encouraged to “drop Harry Potter” and pick up something else, and a lot of it has to do with how deep and culturally significant it was at the time. (I went to multiple midnight releases of the books - Though I’m sure it’s happened, I can’t remember the last time another book series had midnight releases at bookstores across the country for 4+ books.)

Please note this is not a defense of continuing to purchase the books or the content, but a defense of being part of the COMMUNITY/fandom created by this content - because at its core, that’s what I think people don’t want to give up.

And, hot take or not - I think the fandom surviving is fine. (Mostly because - as fandom proves again and again - any time you try to take something away, they cling all the harder.) Here’s a few things I think are making Harry Potter fandom really tough for people to just drop and replace with something else.

1. The books were published over a 10 year period. (This means a tremendous amount of people were exposed to it over time, and the books built up momentum in popularity. That doesn’t include the movies - which kept, and continue to keep Harry Potter in the spotlight and keep it culturally significant. Anything that lasts that long, at that level of popularity, during the real dawn of the public internet age, isn’t going to disappear.)

2. The fandom (much like Game of Thrones) became part of overall embedded fandom culture. (Things like - the raise your wands gif to honor someone. The “why is it always you three” being a meme. The Ms. Scribe saga being a THING. Casandra Clare continuing to loom large. Harry Potters gifs, quotes, moments, all of that is internalized - because so many things resonated with so many of us. While there are other book series out there that are MUCH better there are few that resonated so hard, strong, and consistent with the people around you.)

3. It was popular. (This cannot be understated. The sheer popularity and reach hadn’t happened in recent memory. I read it. My mom read it. My grandmother read it. My aunt read it. My cousins read it. If you liked to read - through peer pressure alone in those days - you read it. My sister got over her fear of chapter books reading HP because she wanted to know what happened next. Everyone read it. Everyone talked about it. A new book was the topic of conversation for weeks when it came out - with everyone. Again, that level of popularity - leads to a feeling of community - “We’re all feeling a lot of emotions about THIS THING”, and that’s fandom bread and butter right there. The reason people “cling”? Because so many people UNDERSTAND that emotion and feeling about THE THING because of how popular it was.)

4. There were movies made of it. (The movies made the popularity problem worse. Now, for the people who couldn’t sit down and read the book? There were movies. Similar moments we all bonded over. “Dumbledore said calmly” being one of of the inside jokes that was huge here for the longest time. Once again, huge groups of people who all had similar emotions and thoughts about THE THING. This continues to exacerbate the sheer amount of people who can all relate to a single reference/sentence that accurately conveys/reflects an emotions just due to sheer exposure.)

5. The fandom history is TREMENDOUSLY rich & extensive. (I remember the first time I read the fan theory that Harry was a black kid and that’s why he was ostracized so much. And that Hermoine was black. And proper art of her with big teeth. And when people started doing art of the Marauders, and creating these massive fan worlds for them. I remember the CC days, even though they aren’t talked about as much now. There’s so much history the fandom is built on - shared headcanons that are shared again and again and again and built up, and built upon and just… created together. While I don’t deny other worlds have that appeal, it’s hard to have that same “everyone knows about this so we can build a world together” universal appeal.)

6. It lends itself very very well to fandom writing/creating. (There are very serious problems with Harry Potter and the world within. Everything from the house elves, the goblins, the unsubtle white supremacy, the demonizing of Slytherin house, Snape being… Snape, the damn ENDING. There’s so much more. But with all those broken pieces, with all those dropped plot threads all over the place - comes gaps for fandom to fill in. For fandom to pick apart and put together the world, to make it different, make it better, make it their own - and to create for sheer sake of creating because sometimes that’s the best kind. So many of us wanted to imagine a different ending because the written one was so bad and we hated it. There are people who don’t want to give up imagining a better ending for the characters they grew up loving. Again, it’s not that there isn’t something better out there, but I saw myself in Hermoine as a kid - I want a better ending for her.)

7. Relatability and Emotional Connection (At the end of the day - the fandom, whether in literal (here on Tumblr/LJ/Ao3) or much broader sense (out in public, Universal Studios, conventions, etc), is almost unmatched in size. It is a singular point of commonality across literally millions of people. Here on Tumblr it’s all well and good to shout that we should hate all things Harry Potter - but that’s not the reality out in the world. Everyone, everyone, who consumed media from 2000-2010 and beyond has heard or seen Harry Potter - even in potentially adjacent exposure without seeing it directly. When they first came out - EVERYONE sorted themselves into Hogwarts houses. There’s something about having a single point in common with so many other people that is just… you don’t find that with many other things in the world. As a result, it’s been the emotional tether for many people, and giving that up in favor of something else, just… won’t have the same pull.)

8. Picking up new stuff is… tough these days. (This might be just me, but. I have a really hard time getting into new things since the pandemic started. New TV series, new books, new anything just feels so emotionally taxing that I struggle with it really hard. I know there are amazing books out there. I know. But short of Game of Thrones (which we aren’t going to get into, lol), we haven’t really seen another culture-wise phenomenon like Harry Potter exist. Which means that even if you do find a new thing and fall in love with it, you have to turn around and convince everyone around you (and even more) to also fall in love with it for it to hold the same emotional weight that HP does. That’s… a hell of a tall order for anyone. And so saying simply that there are new and better things out there to replace HP is true… but replacing the level of connection HP offers doesn’t… exist at the moment.)

9. Fandom is Fandom - Harry Potter or Otherwise (Ultimately, as someone who runs a multifandom discord, I can say with pretty relative certainty, that people who do love HP likely love other fandoms TOO. They likely have read those “better things” out there and expanded their lens. Does that mean they have to give up loving something they’ve loved since they were a kid? For me? No, it doesn’t. Does it mean they should maybe think twice about buying official merch and continuing to fund JK Rowling’s grotesque crusades? Yes, of course. Those two things can and should be able to co-exist. At least for me, because people don’t want to give up that community, that feeling of having something in common with EVERYONE.)

Last but not least, the fundamental rule of fandom interactions -

10. Don’t like? Don’t read.

I tend to get a lot of hate for posting opinions like this. And I understand why, I truly do. But I won’t stop saying it. You can’t simply “remove” something as culturally significant as Harry Potter from the world. It’s been 25 years. It’s here. You can’t hate everyone that loves the community around it still.

If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Black list it, unfollow, do whatever you need to do to get it away from you. That’s your right as a fan. But on the same token - punishing other fans isn’t right either, and shouldn’t continue. If we’re really going to MEAN DL;DR as fandom, it has to apply to EVERYTHING.

Including Harry Potter fandom creations.

I've never seen any fandom try so hard to justify clinging to a franchise as Harry Potter fans. Oh my god, guys. There's other stuff out there! I promise you! Awesome stories and worlds to explore. Why the tunnel vision for Hogwarts?

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I guess it was a consuming passion for a lot of people who didn't have any other fandoms.