#especially confused bisexual Furi

[literaphobe]

no but SPEAK YOUR TRUTH re: fandom Marichat... I see so much of Angsty Forbidden Lovers Pining Sexily and I am confused??? Why make Chat Noir a strong dark brooding dude (I mean yeah he is brooding but he also is goofy af about it) and Marinette a damsel in distress (she IS dramatic BUT she is also a Disaster Baby Girl and Everyday Ladybug and Literal Ladybug, she can handle herself). It seems like some people need this 'romantic' hetero dynamic so badly to work that they change characterizations that are well established in canon. and like, no shame for that, but I feel like it takes away what is so precious about their relationship/s and the whole love square dynamic. IMO the truth is that Marichat are silly bisexual friends that bicker and go to the movies and sometimes they fake date or practice love confessions. Marinette gives Chat Noir shit but in a friendly way because she doesn't have to be 'professional' and Chat Noir wants to impress Marinette because... you know. Even as Chat Noir he thinks Marinette is brilliant and the funniest person ever. And they are in love (see Elation) but so are ALL sides of the love square so duh. thanks for coming to my TED talk let me know what you think!!!

chat noir is so dark brooding and strong but hes ALSO got a serious case of the SILLIES!!!!! he's got all this repressed fury and rage but he's also full of love and tender care. sweetness. he is a complex character that the Larger Fandom Space likes to hack away and throw archetypes onto. similarly, marinette is a one-woman wrecking crew. whether she's transformed or not. she IS constantly in distress and god help her someone save her. but NOT in the way that Larger Fandom Space thinks. those people saw chat carry marinette away from danger and run away Once and decided thats all they were and that they are the only side of the love square that does that. dsghs

marichat actually contains multitudes and is so fun to work with, think about, and analyze. but they get hit with the no fun straight people beam and suddenly All She Is is some weak helpless girl who can't do anything and needs to be saved and All He Is is some guy who won't stop calling her Princess and like idk growling and. whatever else they want. and then they say stuff like True Selves and act like the other sides are unhealthy and only marichat is healthy or whatever. and then depict them unhealthily. i just dont know man. im like everywhere bro except for like wattpad and i do not wanna know how they depict marichat THERE

in all honesty, marichat AREN'T by default their 'true selves' around each other. obviously this is due to the fact that all sides of the love square have stuff to hide from each other. but i would even go so far as to ascertain that (especially in) Early Stages of marichat interactions, they are trying to portray their most INAUTHENTIC selves and that makes them BRILLIANT

okay so marinette -> she knows chat noir right? very well. but at the same time she CANT show that she knows him well. she has to pretend that hes just some guy. or that shes a bit of a fangirl. very much Expert Pretending To Be Novice vibes. similarly with chat noir -> he totallyyyyy doesn't know this girl all that well either. she CAN'T know that this super cool superhero is actually one of her Good Friends at school. so its like they're both actors in a play but they BOTH think they're the only ones acting. but at the same time, for marinette, the facade starts to fall because she can only pretend this isnt her best friend for so long. the best example of this for me is glaciator 2, where she just starts yelling at chat noir like he's HER chat noir, like she's the one who knows him. the chance of him arguing back drops bc it likely throws him off but is also refreshing bc whoaaa marinette can yell at him like that? only its not the him SHE knows. marinette can yell at him bc she's a little bit insane and also bc he isn't in love with THIS her so he'll be fine!! and he likes it bc he can sense her comfort and also be entertained by it at the same time and its fun getting close to her without her like freaking out and escaping from him. blah blah blah they r in love!!!!!!! but the point is inevitably there are feelings on all sides

i feel as though when the reveal happens none of the sides should be dating tbh. bc that would be too easy. oh yay my gf/bf is also another person i know and love! epic! but imagine if there was pain on every side. some form of feelings, some form of love, some form of heartbreak. thats where we get the part where they have to reconcile that all this pain and failures happened because of all the identities and secrets and their inherent connection and chemistry. they SHOULD feel doubt over whether they were meant to be together at all. and then realize that this couldn't be any more perfect. because they were never meant to choose. and after finding out, they'll never have to

yeah idk where im going anymore LETS KISS ANON UR SO WOKE THANK U FOR SENDING ME A JUICY ASK :D

[courtingstars]

Notes on The Vanishing Prince, Chapter Three

Yay, Chapter Three at last! I had more notes than I expected, probably because I was looking forward to writing all of these scenes for SO LONG.

This was a pretty self-indulgent chapter on my part, for a lot of reasons. XD But I hope it still included some enjoyable moments, for those who have been looking forward to Furihata and Akashi’s feelings for each other progressing!

So keep reading for notes about Reo’s tarot skills, Akashi’s reasoning about his emotions at this point, and Furihata’s bisexual ogling of BASICALLY EVERYONE. (I can’t lie, the idea of Furi literally staring at everyone around him trying to figure out if he thinks they’re hot or not was super funny to me? Which was probably obvious. //laughs)

(Cut for tarot stuff, notes about platonic vs. romantic feelings, and me rambling on and on about bisexual representation and how I’m way too emotionally invested in N700 trains…)

Mibuchi and Tarot Cards

Some readers might be wondering if I made up the idea of Reo (I always call him Reo even though I use his surname in fics, I can’t help it, he’s just Reo to me??) being able to read tarot cards. And the answer is, I did not! According to one of the canon fanbooks, Reo’s special talent is tarot card reading. Back when I started planning The Vanishing Prince, I knew basically nothing about tarot cards. But I thought it might be interesting if Reo’s hobby appeared in the fic, since there’s going to be a lot of supernatural stuff going on.

Then I randomly started learning a little bit about tarot cards last year. I decided to explore it further, partly to write this fic, and partly for other writing-related reasons. (And it turned into this whole bizarre slash amazing THING that I won’t go into here.)

But anyway, a little over a year ago, I actually did a real-life tarot reading for Akashi, just to see what came up… And weirdly enough (or not, according to people like Reo, haha), the cards I drew fit PERFECTLY with the plot of this fic! So for the reading in Chapter Three, I used the same cards I pulled that day. That’s also why it uses the classic Celtic Cross spread layout, because I was still learning the basics at the time.

(I also did a reading for Furihata on that same day… So did it fit with this fic too, and will it come up in a future chapter? We will see. //grins)

Needless to say, I’m still no expert on the tarot! But I did my best to show how the cards could apply to what’s been happening in the story. (And what may happen later as well…) I also tried to balance the more traditional meanings of the cards with Reo’s interpretation of what they could mean for Akashi. Many experienced tarot readers like to use their intuition and the images on the cards as a method to interpret a reading, rather than the traditional meanings alone.

Reo will be in this fic a lot, so I don’t want to say too much about my characterization of him just yet… But I’ve always thought of him as someone who is guided by intuition in many ways, based on his canonical skill with the tarot. So I felt that he would probably mix traditional card meanings with his own instincts as he saw fit.

Akashi’s Feelings and Platonic vs. Romantic

So given how attached Akashi (Oreshi) clearly is to Furihata at this point, I think a lot of readers might be wondering why he still thinks his feelings for Furihata are platonic? Which is… an excellent question. //laughs There’s a LOT going on behind that, which is going to be unpacked over the course of the story.

But this chapter does briefly mention a part of his reasoning, so I thought it was worth pointing out… At the end of Chapter Two, Oreshi mentioned his other self was ignoring a major reason why he still believes his feelings for Furihata are platonic. In this chapter, Akashi mentions that reason in a different context:

“Akashi was under the impression that romance was supposed to include certain urges, about wanting to kiss and touch the other person. Supposedly, it involved a form of physical desire that was intense, possibly even explicit… As far as he knew, Akashi had never experienced any of that.

“True, he was still young. But teenagers were supposed to want to kiss each other, at the very least. Weren’t they?”

I didn’t connect it directly, but this is what Oreshi also meant in Chapter Two. Basically, he’s under the impression that romance has to involve certain forms of physical desire. And he isn’t experiencing that toward anyone, as far as he knows. Again, there’s a LOT going on there, and it’ll come up again in the fic. But it’s worth mentioning, since it’s not exactly obvious!

Personally, I find the question of what makes a relationship platonic vs. romantic to be really interesting… Especially since some people have romantic relationships that aren’t as physical. The nuances can get murky, so that’s definitely been a part of Akashi’s internal debate, which started back in Part Two of Storming The Castle.

About That Locker Scene

So now on the topic of being self-indulgent… I really couldn’t resist including that Seirin cameo scene. XD I love Seirin SO MUCH, and I really miss writing about all of them! Plus, I thought it would be kind of funny to answer a question that absolutely no one asked…

Which is, if we assume that Furihata is attracted to Akashi, then which guy would he find the most attractive on his own team? I honestly can’t remember why I came up with an answer to this question. //laughs But I did at some point, and now you all know my theory. (Basically, ikemen/pretty-boy point guards who are very skilled, but don’t have the most successful humor and are actually kind of huge nerds? Lol.) I also had a backup answer, which was probably obvious in the scene too. XD

And on a random side note, the phrase “some kind of magical ab factory” is one of my favorite phrases I’ve ever written. Pfft.

Also, if you’re wondering why the Rakuzan players didn’t get more of an appearance this time, don’t worry! You’ll definitely see more of them soon. (A lot more. Probably way more than anyone wants. //laughs)

On Furihata and Bisexuality

Anyway, in all seriousness, I’ve been looking forward to writing these scenes where poor Furi is trying to figure out his sexuality for FOREVER. There are a lot of reasons why… The two biggest ones have to do with LGBTQA+ representation, and explaining a key part of the romantic plotline of the series.

So I’m sure a lot of readers were wondering how in the world Furihata managed to be in denial for so long about his attraction to Akashi… Especially given that he’s called Akashi handsome and pretty, and has literally been ogling him for most of the series? //laughs So this is loosely based on something I noticed when I was younger, both in terms of my experiences and those of people I knew. When I was a teenager around fifteen years ago (I know, the dark ages, haha), the concept of bisexuality was really underrepresented, and often ignored. It did exist, in theory. But a lot of the time, most people just assumed you had to be gay or straight—or otherwise you were confused/undecided. Which was, of course, not exactly helpful.

The Spark of Light series takes place in 2010. While the overall understanding of bisexuality was improving by that point, there were still plenty of issues (and still are, to be honest). Also, the idea of bisexuality wasn’t necessarily being discussed in mainstream Japan… Being attracted to more than one gender has existed in their culture for a long time, of course. (Just look at their history and literature!) But from what I understand, due to a whole bunch of complicated reasons, there hasn’t been the same emphasis on recognizing the modern idea of bisexuality as there has been in, say, Western countries. That being said, things in Japan are changing a lot recently. And I could go into that, and how fascinating it is, but I’ll save it for another day!

What I do want to emphasize, though, is that not very long ago, a lot of teenagers tended to assume they were either gay or straight, period. For all kinds of reasons, many of us didn’t really consider anything else. And because of mainstream social conditioning—and homophobia—it often made sense to focus on your attraction to the opposite gender, without trying to figure out if you were attracted to other genders as well. To be honest, I’m guessing this still happens in a lot of places, given how much pressure there still is to be straight/have heterosexual relationships.

Which brings me to the issue of representation… One of the places I used to notice a lack of bisexual representation, oddly, was in fandom. Back when I started to post fic online (circa 2005), if fans had a headcanon that a character was attracted to another character of the same gender, it was typically framed as, “They’re gay.” Even if the character had relationships in canon with the opposite gender.

In fanfiction, this was often explained with something along the lines of, “He thought he liked women, but he really didn’t/was repressing his sexuality.” More often, the issue wasn’t addressed at all. Of course, gay-but-repressed is a completely valid interpretation, and happens in real life! But I always found it kind of strange that no matter how much the character seemed to have enjoyed their past relationships, people rarely concluded, “They’re bisexual.” I see bisexual headcanons a LOT more in fandom now, which is awesome! And I really wanted to contribute to that.

So when I started A Spark of Light, I knew Furihata would be finding out that he’s bisexual. I wanted to go with that interpretation, instead of implying that Furihata never actually wanted a girlfriend when he joined Seirin, or that he was confused, etc. I also wanted to attempt to portray what it’s like to be attracted to more than one gender, when you’re still figuring out your sexuality and you suddenly realize you’re attracted to more types of people than you originally thought you were? (And that some of the attractive people you ogled, but just assumed it was in a purely aesthetic/platonic way, were actually some of your crushes. //laughs)

So long story short… Furihata having such an obvious crush on Akashi, and yet not realizing it for so long, was definitely intentional! (Whether or not it worked well in the story being a separate issue, haha.) Because sometimes teenagers don’t hear often enough that they could be bisexual, so they don’t fully consider it, and it can take a while to figure it out, and sexuality can be fluid/change over time… And also, adolescence is generally a kind of weird period in life. XD (And so are the ways that social expectations affect our self-perception, especially when we’re young.)

In any case, this is just the beginning of Furihata exploring that issue, and what it means for him. But I wanted to make sure to clarify some of it as soon as possible, to give some idea of what I was trying to portray.

And Finally, Some Feelings About the Train Scene

I have to admit, I got a little emotional when I was FINALLY able to write Furihata riding on another N700 train, and thinking about how he has a crush on Akashi. <3 I’ve been looking forward to this moment in the series, and for Furi to realize he’s always been attracted to Akashi, ever since I wrote this part in The Fast Train to Kyoto WAY BACK in the fall of 2015:

“Akashi was sitting beside the window, just like before. He had a laptop computer balanced on his tray, and was typing away. Furihata couldn’t help noticing that he looked more unreal than ever. The ember-like glow of the sunset shone on his skin, mirroring his crimson hair and eyes. He looked like a picture of some kind, and way more mature than a teenager, with his blazer slung over an armrest and his shirtsleeves rolled up at the elbows.

Furihata had meant to speak first, maybe make up some excuse for running off, or even apologize for being such a nutcase. But when he opened his mouth, his tongue and throat felt strangely dry.”

So yeah, that’s how far back some of the foreshadowing goes. XD; I do enjoy writing subtext, but it’s so nice to finally be at a point in this series where the characters are having to face up to their changing feelings, and figure out what it means for them going forward. Also, I’m just so happy that I was able to get to this part, even though it took so damn long! It was worth the struggle. <3

I hope those of you who have been following this series enjoyed the chapter! And I hope you’re as excited as I am to be going back to Kyoto with these precious nerds. (It might get a bit intense, I won’t lie. //laughs) The next chapter is more or less ready to go, so my current plan is to post it in about two weeks. And I’m also hoping to post a lot more of the story during the summer. <3

[rottenheartedchild]

Think it's about time to finally post my crow daddy's bio and have this quick painting of him featuring a picrew of him .https://picrew.me/image_maker/1041191

Raphael D'Aramitz

An ancient and powerful being hailing from the land of demons (not to be confused with Inferno, an eternal place in the afterlife) with unmatched wisdom. Has a deep fascination for humans and fell in love with one when she scolded him while dressing his wound after he protected her from feral demons. Was blessed with two children, Isidore, and Marisol before they were stolen away, causing him endless sorrow and fury. A year after their disappearance, they were soon gifted a pair of fraternal twins, Haruka, and Chinatsu which soothed their hearts for a while but he'll never forget the ones he'd failed to protect.

For thirty years, Raphael along with his closest companions endlessly searched for the lost children, and the quest finally came to an end when Durante brought home his son from the rooftops of Tokyo skyscrapers, a week later his daughter in a desert escaping her pursuers. After nursing them back to health, Raphael vowed to protect his family better and heal them from their trauma.

Extra info

🩺Just like Valentino, is implied to be immortal. His age is somewhere in the 5,000s.

🩺His real name is Masaru Yukimura but only uses it whenever he visits his homeland or around those who knew his true identity.

🩺Is an omniglot but has a slight Okinawan accent. Quite apparent when he speaks French.

🩺Met his wife when he attended to one of her shows and saved her from a feral pack of Infernals. She brought him to a bar to fix his wounds and the rest was history.

🩺Despite his formal appearance, he's a certified punk and rebel with a cause. Tones it down as the years go by but still true to his stand.

🩺Has an identical twin sister named Masami who's the founder of the accomplished Yukimura Corporations.

🩺When he first met the Ace trio, they reminded him of himself and his close friends (Marisol loves comparing him to Johann).

🩺Is 7'3" in normal form, 10'0" in true form.

🩺His true form is a terrifying daitengu, rarely uses it unless necessary.

🩺Founder of several hospitals and works in the department of psychiatry.

🩺A stern yet gentle father, loves to spoil his wife with physical touches.

🩺Protective of his children, in extension grandchildren.

🩺Has the same powers of a daitengu(weather manipulation, shape shifting, teleportation, etc.) Also blessed with an advanced level of telepathy which helps him when dealing with patients.

🩺Absolutely loves seafood, especially fried salmon skin seasoned with sea salt.

🩺Is surprisingly popular with the staff due his humble disposition and chiseled features.

🩺Asexual bisexual, neutral good and a staunch defender.

[samanthadalton]

Bottled up

I tried to write a Ava x mc fic since MTFL is going on another hiatus 

taglist: @cloud9in (my number 1 fan ❤️)  if i ever do more ava x mc fics and you wanna be tagged just let me know :) 

pairings: ava x emma 

word count: 1.6k 

“You’re not good for Ava” 

“You're not good for Ava” 

“You’re not good for Ava” 

I keep replaying Bayla’s words in my head over and over again, as I lay in my room wrapped in my blankets seeking its warmth. Was there some truth to her words? Was I really not good for Ava? That night at the exhibition, I remember how Bayla wrapped her arms around Ava to protect her from the cold. How easily Ava found solace in Bayla’s arms and how comfortable she was with her kisses and her touch. I remember feeling a pang of envy towards Bayla as she whispered sweet nothings into Ava’s ear, was it because I want what they have with Noah or Mason, or was it because I want what she has… Ava. 

I never knew where I stood with Ava, I mean how could I when I took every opportunity to change the subject or to avoid Ava herself? Having ‘the talk’ with Ava would mean having to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about myself and for some reason, I wasn’t ready for that. Not that there was any shame in me being bisexual, I’m sure my father, however traditional and strict he is would still understand and accept me as I am but something inside me felt uneasy about it all. I wasn’t sure about how I felt about girls in general but I did know I felt something towards one girl in particular, and that girl just happened to be my best friend. 

I stare up at the ceiling, so sheltered in my thoughts that I’m oblivious to everything happening around me until I’m suddenly pulled out of my reverie when I hear a sharp knock at the door. I sigh internally, I’m pretty sure I told Mack not to bother me, but after a moment there’s another knock at the door, more resounding than the last. I roll my eyes and become slightly infuriated, “dammit Mack, I thought I told you to leave me alone.” The door slowly opens and my eyes bulge out of my head when I see Ava standing at the door frame, a small smile gracing her lips. 

“So do you want me to go?” she says with a comical tone, her eyes glistening with humour. I quickly sit up in my bed, my mind gone blank as the girl who I’ve practically been avoiding but can’t stop thinking about is right in front of me. Ava, inattentive to my earlier dilemma steps into the room and sits at the edge of the bed, and familiarity begins to wash all over me as I stare at my best friend. She playfully pokes at my body, her touch blocked by the blanket and she lets out an airy laugh, “you look like a giant burrito.” I laugh in response, my mind beginning to feel more at ease as past memories evade my mind and I feel a sense of content as I unravel myself from the duvet and sit next to Ava, our legs barely brushing together. 

“Not that I’m not happy to see you but how come you’re here?” I debate with myself as to whether or not I should look at her, but against my better instincts I lift my head and stare boldly into her eyes. She stiffens slightly at my question, her eyebrows furrow slightly as she begins to contemplate, but for a split second I see hurt? flash across her face but she quickly masks it, her face stoic as she speaks, “I felt like my best friend was ignoring me so” she trails off not finishing the sentence and guilt hits me like a truck as memories flash back to Bayla’s words and the undertone of her threatening words and suddenly I jolt, putting some space between myself and Ava. 

“Woah, Emma what the hell, why are you so jumpy?” She reaches out to touch my hand but before I can pull it back, she wraps it around mine, and warmth begins sweeping into me. I feel my cheeks flush and her hand grips mine a little tighter, most likely a gesture to show reassurance that she’s not going to go anywhere. 

“Ava, I-” I can barely form a cohesive sentence since my mind is going into overdrive about her hand holding mine, how soft it feels, and how her slender fingers fit perfectly into mine. I glance down at our intertwined hands, transfixed by how natural holding her hand feels to me and with the way she’s looking at me, it’s almost as if she’s thinking the same thing. “I just thought you would prefer to hang out with Bayla than me,” I try to make my voice as nonchalant as possible but I can’t help it sounding resentful especially when saying Bayla’s name, I basically spit out her name like it’s venom. Ava loosens her grip on my hand, confusion washed all over her face as she takes in my tone, “Bayla? What does she have to do with anything?” 

I don’t want to tell Ava about Bayla’s warning, so I swallow heavily, and barely squeak out, “nothing. Nevermind. Forget I said anything.” 

Ava looks at me with concern, once again her perfectly shaped brows furrowed together as she opens her mouth to speak but her mouth hangs open for a few moments contemplating her next choice of words, “did… did Bayla say something to you?” 

I internally debate with myself as to what I should say next, I mean Ava practically figured it out on her own, and Bayla is her girlfriend so I owe her the truth at the very least. I fiddle with my fingers unsure of how to phrase my next set of words, “I guess?” I try keeping my voice as apathetic as I can, an attempt to come across as impartial to the situation but Ava’s unblinded fury demonstrates that she’s pissed at Bayla, her eyes staring daggers as she clenches her jaw. 

“What did she say to you?” she hisses out.

“Just that I’m not good for you” I try to be as candor as I can since Ava is still my best friend and I don’t like hiding things from her, even if those things are about her girlfriend. But a small part of me celebrates that there’s trouble in paradise and it eggs me on to want to push the knife in a little deeper.  

“What does that even mean? Em, you’re my best friend She can’t say that to you” she balls her fist, anger spewing and I place my hand over her curled fist, my thumb subconsciously begins to rub circles on her knuckles as I try to talk her down. 

“She isn’t wrong Ava. I mean I haven’t exactly earned any best friend of the year awards lately. I’ve been a shitty friend to you, especially during a time where I should’ve been by your side while you… figured things out about yourself.” I swallow heavily when saying the last part, maybe because selfishly I haven’t allowed Ava to support me either while I reevaluated everything in my life. Ava’s silence indicates that there’s some truth to my words but all the guilt, the confusion, the constant debunking, it makes the next part come out like word vomit. “I know I pulled away from you when you needed me the most. The truth is, I was scared. When.. when you admitted your feelings towards me,” Ava visibly tenses, grimacing but I’m unable to stop myself from pouring my thoughts out, “I didn’t know what to say. I should’ve still been your best friend, no matter how I felt towards you and still been there for you, but I was being selfish. I pushed you away because I was terrified of how I felt, and wha-” 

“How you felt?” Ava’s voice comes out as a whisper as looks over at me, her big brown eyes penetrating mine, and something flashes in her eyes but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Her gaze is hypnotising, and I’m pulled into a trance and my eyes deftly shifts to her lips for her split second, but she catches me staring and her tongue darts out of her mouth, slightly licking her lips in a way I can only describe as the most sexy thing I have ever seen in my life. And without missing a beat, I lean my head towards hers, my lips capturing hers. Our lips brush together tentatively at first but the softness of her lips, the sweetness of her cherry lip gloss only prompts me to want to get a better taste. I kiss her harder and she reciprocates the kiss, her arms already wrapping around my neck and pulling me even closer. We kiss for a few more moments, enjoying the sensation of our tongues tangled together but when I let out an involuntary moan, reality hits us both square in the face and she abruptly pushes me away, guilt imprinted all over her face. 

She jumps straight to her feet, “I should go” her voice low and she avoids looking at me as she almost runs out of the room. I try to call out to her but moments later I hear the front door close and the engine of her sedan starting and soon enough the rumbles of the engine disappear. My fingers move up to my lips, tracing its outline as I reminisce about the kiss, never has a kiss felt so… right. But concerns immediately begin to infiltrate my mind as I think about what I’m going to do now.

[louisapennyfeather2021]

Newsies/Swiped AU

Davey Jacobs as James Singer

Spot Conlon as Lance Black

Jack as Hannah

Racetrack Higgins as Rachel

Albert DaSilva as Weasley

Hotshot as Daniel

Les Jacobs as Ashlee Singer

Sarah as Leah Singer

Summary:

Davey and Spot are college roommates, both are in a computer coding class. Spot does his own thing and does what he needs to get through the year. Davey lives by a rule book, especially since Davey wanted to get into MIT instead of the college he's in at the moment. It's as simple as that.

One day Spot, along with his best friends Albert and Hotshot, approach Davey. They want his help creating an app. Not a dating app, but a hookup app. An app where you can get together with guys or girls, but it never lasts longer than that one hookup. Davey disagrees for a while before Spot finally offers to help pay for a ride to MIT if he'll help with the app. He also might do it because Spot "guarantees that every guy and girl will be on the app.

This really convinces Davey because he has a crush on an old friend from High School, the infamous not so infamous Jack Kelly. And he hopes that maybe he can work up the courage to talk to Jack again after a rough patch in high school.

So they set to work. Their coding teacher, Professor Denton, doesn't believe Spot for a second when he says that him, Hotshot, and Albert are working on an app as their project in their class. Davey made it clearly known that he has no interest in being known as the true creator of the app.

The app takes off great. Spot, Hotshot, and Albert are as happy as they can be. Hotshot hooks up with any girl who wants to. Albert, the openly Bisexual in the friendship group, hooks up with the boys and girls who want to. Spot, the closeted gay of the group, hooks up with girls. He originally wanted the app as a way to secretly meet people, boys, but his own paranoia kept him from disclosing that to Davey. This doesn't stop the jealousy when Albert continuously hooks up with a certain blond boy who's profile on the app only has a name of Racetrack.

Meanwhile, Davey manages to at least amend his friendship with Jack. Jack expresses how dumb and horrible he thinks the new dating app is and discloses to Davey that he can't understand why people would voluntarily do something that hurts them, referring to how some of his friends have had bad experiences with the app already.

The first semester of college goes by. Soon everyone's off for Christmas break. Spot, Hotshot, and Albert stay on campus and spend most of the break living their dream with the success of their app. Albert's just happy to have the slight fame and some of the attention, Spot's happy with the success, and Hotshot's thriving from the fame, but not in an arrogant egotistical way. He's just happy

Meanwhile, Davey's back home. He loves with his older sister and younger brother in an unreasonably lavish home, only there because of their parents who are hardly ever home. Davey has a few minor arguments with Les, mostly because of Les' behavior while Davey was away. Including taking and making Davey's room his "Home Office"

Davey spends Christmas dinner with his siblings and the FaceTime of their parents. After dinner, Davey learns of Sarah having created a profile on a new dating app. She goes out one night, hoping to meet someone and start a relationship after her last one left her torn apart. Davey begs Sarah's friend Katherine (also the girl who's had a crush on Sarah fro years) to help him and Les essentially spy on Sarah.

It's not until after seeing Sarah's heartbreak that Davey decides the app has to stop. So it does.

Davey shuts down the app and any others like it, forcing people to go back to regular dating apps. This sparks chaos back on campus. Spot, Albert, and Hotshot are all but hunted down for the "update", as this is what they pass it off as.

Davey returns to campus and avoids the boys, saying he's working on fixing the "bug". The boys finally corner him, although they are separated by a door. They try to get into Spot and Davey's shared dorm, which Spot lost his key for, and Davey manages to sneak out the window since they're on the ground floor.

Meanwhile, this conversation is happening outside.

Spot: "Dave, open the door!"

Hotshot: "Hang on, I got this." *Pulls out a lock pick*

Albert: "Hang on, where did you learn to do that?"

Hotshot: "My cell mate." *Even though he's never gotten anything beyond a singular detention in high school*

Albert: *completely confused and worried mouthing the words* his cellmate?!?!

They see Davey missing and they start searching for him.

Davey, however, has snuck over to Jack's fraternity house.

It's not Jack to answer the door though.

It's Racetrack

And Jojo

And Romeo

And Mush

And oh boy, Davey had never felt so scared in his life. A bunch of angry, college level boys who know he's friends with Spot Conlon. He begs them to hide him, give him a place to stay long enough for Spot and the others to stop looking for him.

It's not until Jack greets him with a smile and says he's not harmful that they let him in.

They ask Davey about Spot's app and tell him about their experiences. None of it sits well with Davey and he decides to make an app based off of the people who want relationships. So he makes a proposition to the Frat House. He'll help them make an app by their own rules. The rules of actually dating. All he asks is that they provide him a place to stay just for a few hours. None of them really believe him, but Jack convinces them that it's just a few hours.

Sometime later, Davey's back in his dorm room when the boys finally catch up to him. He tries to run out again, but he finally caves while forming a plan. You see, Sarah knows he can't sleep sometimes because of his habits. And he's basically guilted Spot into getting him some food whenever he's busy because he is the one who made the app, did all the coding and everything. Sarah got Davey some tea that helps him sleep.

And he asks for some, saying it'll help him calm down. In the process, Albert and Hotshot ask for some. They're stressed because the app is down, what's wrong with a little bit of calming tea, right???

Davey never drinks the tea, but Spot, Albert, and Hotshot do. Davey notices them asleep and he quickly packs up his computer and makes an escape. But he didn't realize that Hotshot woke up right as he escaped.

And so began the chase for Davey Jacobs.

It was definitely one for the books.

Davey ran straight to the Frat house. It was Jojo who opened the door. He almost didn't let Davey in until Jack told him to. Davey convinced the boys to let him stay in a spare bedroom.

But Spot was smart, he knew where Davey would go. He figured out Davey's crush on Jack. So that's where they went.

And oh boy, were those three boys in for a rock ride.

It started with knocking on the door. Aggressive, desperate knocking.

Next came the boys. It was Jack first with Race there to back him up. The three boys though tried really hard at begging to get in.

And then came down the fury of the Fraternity.

I'm talking baseball bats, candle holders, someone's jock strap. Everything. They all but surrounded the three boys looking for Davey while Davey simply worked in the guest bedroom upstairs.

To put it simply, those three boys wouldn't even consider showing their faces around that Fraternity house for a long time.

Eventually, Davey came clean to the Fraternity. He said he helped create the hook up app, but that he was also the one to shut it down. And he helped design a genuine dating app that made it known that people wanted more than meaningless sex.

Bonus?

Jack was the one to ask Davey out. Davey was a nervous anxious wreck, but he said yes. Jack couldn't help but laugh a little bit as Davey stuttered a yes. He thought it was adorable.

Davey managed to help Spot realize what he wanted. The two apologised, along with Albert and Hotshot. They realized the cruelty of their app. And Spot came out to his friends.

Hotshot owed Albert five dollars for that one. Spot was slightly offended, but he couldn't be for too long.

Especially since he asked Albert if Race was anything more than hook up. Albert said that Race probably wouldn't even consider being friends and he told Spot to go for it.

With some encouragement from Les and Davey, Katherine finally asked our Sarah. It was so embarrassingly awkward that both boys wanted to erase the memory.

So sort of happy ending.

So that left Albert and Hotshot.

The conversation went something like this:

Albert: "So, everyone we know wants a relationship."

Hotshot: "And?"

Albert: "Wanna go on a date?"

Hotshot: "Dude, no, we've had this discussion."

Hotshot: "But like, pizza sounds great right now."

This is kind of plotless but so was the movie😂

[jessread-s]

The Rose Society (The Young Elites, #2)

Book Review: The Rose Society by Marie Lu

Rating: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ (4.8)

The following review is spoiler free.

Review: After finishing The Young Elites, I just HAD to pick up The Rose Society. Maeve was mysteriously introduced at the end of The Young Elites, where her perspective written in the third person occupied the last chapter. I was not sure of her role or connection to Adelina, but I knew that thing were going to get wild seeing as The Daggers cast Adelina aside. 

What Worked:

01. The new perspectives. As always, I have enjoyed reading from the perspectives of Adelina, Raffaele, and Teren, but it was nice to get a glimpse of Maeve’s life as the Queen of Beldain. Her additional perspective helped me to understand the lengths of her powers, the tension between Maeve and Lucent, and her familial situation, especially the loyalty displayed by her brothers and the motives behind her mother’s actions. 

02. Adelina. Wow. I am not even sure where to begin. In The Young Elites, Adelina was a scared, abused little girl that her father sold to the highest bidder.  She was flawed, worthless, and fated to die by burning until she developed her ability to create illusions. A lot of things change in The Rose Society. For one, Adelina embraces the darkness inside of her. She no longer is the frightened, worthless little girl from the first novel. Adelina is ruthless, determined to destroy all who have betrayed her. But the more Adelina calls on her power, the harder it is for her to distinguish what is real and what is an illusion. It was extremely interesting to see Adelina’s own power betray her, making it clear that Adelina maybe isn’t the most reliable of narrators. It was also heartbreaking to see how much she relied on her ability to create illusions, how her fears and paranoia made her believe that without her powers she would be nothing. It truly goes to show how much her own past has made an impact on her life. She doesn’t know how to love because her father never loved her. She doesn’t know how to trust anyone because of the countless betrayal she has experienced by her own family and the dagger society. Her greatest fear is to be cast aside by all the people she holds dearest in her life. So rather than developing relationships with others, Adelina chooses to destroy all who encounter her. It is easier to abuse power than control it. What really saddened me were those moments when Marie Lu allowed us to see the care-free Adelina. The Adelina who would smile or even laugh on occasion. The Adelina that just wanted to be loved. 

03. The cliffhanger at the end. Though we did not receive a new perspective like we did in The Young Elites, I was still completely blown away by the way Lu chose to end this novel. Adelina went through a huge transformation throughout  The Rose Society, so the ending was very fitting. I will leave it at that. 

04. The sisterly bond. For a majority of The Young Elites, Adelina’s sister Violetta was held captive by Teren and the Inquisition, so we didn’t get to see much of their relationship. With Violetta at Adelina’s side in The Rose Society, it was interesting how things played out. Though we never receive Violetta’s perspective, we learn more about her through Adelina, like the extent of her powers and why she acted the way she did in the past. Lu makes Violetta out to be as the light combatting Adelina’s darkness and it was refreshing to see the two rely on each other. 

05. The darkness. I never expected Marie Lu to completely plunge into the darkness but I am living for it. Rather than continue on with Adelina being a character that falls into a “grey” area like in The Young Elites, I enjoyed watching her completely embrace the fear and fury within her. She let revenge consume her and did not hesitate to kill anyone in her way. Reading from the perspective of a mad, ruthless villain is a breath of fresh air and I love that Adelina does not apologize for who she truly is inside. 

06. The pacing. I could NOT put The Rose Society down. Each chapter pulled me further and further into the madness within Adelina and I could not wait to see how her story would unravel. I also enjoyed the viewpoints from new characters who were featured within the book and their stories were equally as compelling as Adelina’s. I was constantly on the edge of my seat as I sped through the pages feeling a surge of adrenaline as I waited to see how things would play out.  

07. Magiano. Perhaps one of my favorite things about The Rose Society is the addition of Magiano and his relationship with Adelina. In The Young Elites, Raffaele only briefly mentioned Magiano. He was made out to be a character from folklore almost. I was unsure about whether he would be included later in the storyline, but ultimately I am glad Marie Lu placed him in the second novel of the series. It was so interesting to see this character idolized in the first book laid out as a flawed individual like every other character I had encountered thus far. I loved getting to know more about his backstory and his ability which I found incredibly fascinating. What I love most about Magiano is the joy he possesses. Lu created Magiano to be the light in Adelina’s life and I can’t stop thinking about how he is the one who can save her from her own darkness. 

08. The complexity of the characters. I have always been impressed with Marie Lu’s writing abilities, but The Rose Society blew me away. So many characters have been introduced- Adelina, Violetta, Enzo, Raffaele, Teren, Lucent, Gemma, Michel, Maeve, Sergio, Magiano- and each one was completely fleshed out. I was never left confused as to which character was which or how they came to exist with their powers. Each of their separate storylines were compelling and interesting to follow. It was extremely satisfying to see each character fit with one another almost like puzzle pieces. With each new additional perspective, I was able to see the bigger picture. Marie Lu did a phenomenal job capturing the characters’ relationships with one another as well as their morality. 

09. The diversity. Once again, I applaud Marie Lu for creating such diverse characters. Characters of all different ethnicities, skin tones, genders, and sexualities appear front and center. Adelina and her sister Violetta are both women of color, fairing from Tamoura. To take a step further, Adelina is visually impaired. Magiano, Lu’s newest character, identifies as a black man, who later serves as Adelina’s love interest. We also learn that Raffaele is bisexual and one of the other character’s within the dagger society is involved in a same sex relationship. I greatly appreciated Lu’s efforts to include diverse representations.  

What Didn’t Work:

01. The world-building. In my review of The Young Elites, I took issue with the absence of how the blood fever came to be and had a hard time placing the different cities mentioned without referencing the map. We spent a great deal examining Adelina’s present rather than venturing into the land’s history. I thought that these issues would be resolved as I made my way through the series, however The Rose Society failed to answer my questions regarding the outbreak of the blood fever and how Marie Lu’s world came to be. The map at the beginning of the book details three separate “lands”: The Sealands, The Skylands, and The Sunlands. For a majority of the time, the story presides within The Sealands only making small references to The Skylands through Maeve’s character with little detail surrounding The Sunlands. I began to question why such regions were even included. Hopefully, Lu will allow me to explore these lands further in The Midnight Star. 

Jess Approved?: ✓ Review posted to Goodreads

Buy on Amazon: US | UK

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 9

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  2634

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 9

I slept uneasily that night. My dreams were filled with Bucky and Tony. It was all pain and trauma. I couldn’t keep taking over people’s minds like that. I was bringing bits of them back with me.

The next day, I sat outside on the porch in a rocking chair and waited. I held James. After what I’d just done I didn’t want to put him down. I think he knew something was wrong and was projecting back the soothing thoughts I normally sent him. That can’t be right though can it? He was only three days old.

The Quinn Jet arrived, just like I knew it would, and landed in the woods just to the front of the house. I got up and unsteadily walked towards it. The others were heading towards me in single file. You could tell how broken they were just by looking at them. I didn’t even have to look into their minds. Their pain poured out of them and crashed down on top of me. Bruce in particular. He felt ruined. Like he had given up hope. He wanted to die but knew even that was hopeless.

Clint and Natasha passed me without a word. Nat offered me a sad smile and Clint patted me briefly on the shoulder.

Tony glared at me. “We’re going to need to talk.” He said as he passed me. I nodded.

Thor looked awful. I was glad I couldn’t hear his thoughts. As he walked passed I took his hand and he squeezed it and let go without breaking his stride.

Steve stopped and kissed me, taking James from my arms. He looked relieved to see me. He didn’t know I’d be here, and whatever that other person had done to him had made him forget that he had us at all. Bruce caught up to us because of the brief stop and I turned and hooked my arm with his, and we kind of supported each other as we headed back to the house.

“Thank you.” He said.

“I’m just glad it worked.”

He let out a hollow laugh. “Not half as much as I am.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head. That twin is like you, only she’s so much worse. She trapped us in our worst thoughts. For me, that’s setting of a time bomb.”

“Fuck,” I said, under my breath.

“I feel like our only chance is to have you there with us, but you’re in no condition to fight. So now what? We’re just doomed.” We were almost at the house now. Clint, Nat, and Tony were already inside. “Where are we?”

I laughed. “I think that’s for Clint to tell.”

We headed inside and Clint was already introducing Barney and Laura to everyone. I approached Steve and wrapped my arms around him. Tony was perplexed. He couldn’t quite get his head around Clint having a family he’d hidden from us.

The kids tore around the corner.

“Uncle Clint! Auntie Nat!” They cried slamming into Nat and Clint.

“Auntie Nat?” Tony asked. Steve smirked.

“Sorry for barging in,” Steve said.

“Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.” Tony snarked.

“Yeah well, Fury helped me set this up,” Clint explained. “We had a rough start, people were after us.  I agreed to join SHIELD if Fury agreed to keep them safe.  We hid Barney’s identity. He kept them off SHIELD’s files and I’d like to keep it that way. I figured it was a good place to lay low. And as you can see, Daisy’s been hiding out here.”

Nat started talking to Laura as the men all shifted around awkwardly. Not quite knowing what to do with themselves. I took Jamie off Steve and went and sat down. Thor suddenly stormed out of the room and Steve followed. I heard the sound of Thor taking off, and then this incredible sadness isolation poured out of Steve so strongly I scrambled back to my feet and hobbled towards the door to find him. Tony grabbed me by the arm.

“You. Me. Talk. Now.” He snapped.

He dragged me into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Tony,” I said, not looking him in the eye.

“You took over my body.” He snapped.

“I saw what was happening. I stopped it. Isn’t that what’s important?”

“You pushed me out of control of my own body! Do you even know what that feels like?”

I shook my head. “Probably doesn’t feel as bad as being crushed to death because the Hulk dropped part of a building on you.”

“Will you please look at me.” He snapped.

I looked up. He wasn’t projecting anger. He was projecting hurt. “I’m sorry, Tony. That other one has been in there too. I don’t think you’re even aware that happened. Did you have a weird vision at some point?”

He shook himself and I saw all of us floating in space dead. “I can probably get that out. I need to recharge more first.”

“Since when could you even do that? We were on the other side of the planet.”

I lowered my eyes again. “I don’t know. I just knew I had to try something. I’m sorry it was unpleasant for you. I stand by my decision.”

“You’re kind of scary, you know?” Tony said.

I laughed and looked back up at him. “Who me? I’m so small and non-threatening though. Look I’m holding a baby and everything.”

He hugged me and I awkwardly returned it. “That’s what makes it so scary.”

I found Steve in the yard. I was over-doing it with all this walking around. Especially still holding James. I started to feel week and pain radiated through my whole body. It was nothing compared to what Steve was feeling.

“Steve?” I said as I approached. He turned to me and smiled. He took James from me again, and put his arm around me, letting me lean my weight on him.

“What she did to you. It’s not you.” I said.

“Daisy. Please, my thoughts are mine. Why do you keep doing this to me?”

“I haven’t done anything, Steve. You’re pushing your hurt out so much that anyone with any empathy could feel it. I don’t know what you’re actually thinking.”

“Then how do you know it’s not me?”

I leaned up and kissed him. “Steve. I know you. This pain your feeling, you’re a good person and you don’t deserve that.”

He smiled sadly. “I just feel like what they have in that house, it’s been stolen from me. I had plans, Daisy.”

“Steve. Look at what is currently in your arms right now.”

He looked down at me and James. A smile crept over his face. It came reluctantly, but it did come. He leaned down and kissed the corner of my mouth.

“I’m going to pick that bitch out of your mind later, and you’re going to let me. Right now you need a shower and to sleep. I need that too. So, come on.”

I woke up and Steve was gone. James was stirring beside me. He was hungry, and he needed changing. I got up and took him to the changing table by the window. I could see Steve and Tony chopping wood. I started changing James half watching them out the window. Steve suddenly tore a log in two with his bare hands.

What’s it like to be around functional people I wonder?

I went downstairs and started preparing a bottle for James. Clint and Natasha came up behind me. Nat held out her arms and I handed James over.

“How are you holding up?” Clint asked.

“Better than you guys. I had your awesome sister-in-law looking after me.” I handed the bottle to Nat.

“I think we need you for this battle, Daisy,” Clint said.

“Yay! I’m gonna get killed because I can’t actually fight for shit. Particularly in my present condition.” I cheered and went behind Nat putting my hands on her head.

“What are you doing?” Nat asked.

I shook my head and closed my eyes. I could see where that little bitch had damaged Natasha’s psyche, what thoughts she’d trapped her in. I pulled it all apart and put things back how they belonged.

I opened my eyes and swayed slightly on my feet. “Better?” I asked.

“Much.” She said. “Though, I wish you hadn’t seen that.”

I shrugged and grabbed a paper towel. My nose was bleeding again. This time just a trickle, thank god. “Burden of the skill set I have, I’m afraid. None of you get secrets. Even you, Clint.” I winked at him and he blushed.

Tony came inside followed by Steve and a man I didn’t know. I looked at Steve confused.

“You must be the infamous Daisy Adams.” The man said. I scanned him quickly. Fury. This was Nick Fury. The one Bucky had been sent to kill.

“I am,” I said. “And you’re Nick Fury.”

“Very good, and what other tricks can you do?” Nick asked me.

Nat glared up at him. Nick was thinking about how he could use me. Not in a terrible weapon way, more like if I were trained I could join the others. Could I be a hero? Or was I a risk because of my Hydra start? Nat was worried he saw me as a weapon.

I pushed my thoughts at him.

I CAN DO SO MANY THINGS. THINGS I DON’T EVEN KNOW YET. IT SCARES ME A LITTLE. BUT I AM NO THREAT TO YOU IF YOU ARE HERE AS A FRIEND.

“Very good.” Fury said. “Don’t worry. You have nothing to fear from me. What about the little one.”

“Jamie,” I said.

He walked over and hovered over Jamie. He was still feeding, but he’d slowed a lot and he looked up at Fury. He wasn’t worried at all. He just pushed his happy baby thoughts out of him.

“Does he seem to have any abilities,” Fury asked.

Natasha looked at me and shook her head very slightly.

“Not so far. He’s three days old.” Steve said stepping forward.

That night all of us ate together, and as the table was cleared, Fury filled everyone in.

“Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he’s building something. The amount of Vibranium he made off with … I don’t think it’s just one thing.” He said as he washed the dishes.

Steve stood leaning on the archway between the kitchen and the lounge room. He held James and rocked him as he fed him his night time bottle. I sat at the kitchen table with Nat as the other kids ran around the house bringing drawings to her. Bruce lent on one of the kitchen cabinets, as Clint played with his niece and nephew. Tony was playing darts, trying to pass off being nonchalant when this was eating him alive.

“What about Ultron himself?” Steve asked.

“He’s easy to track. He’s everywhere.” Fury said. “Guy’s multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. Still doesn’t help us get an angle on any of his plans though.”

“Still going after launch codes?” Tony asked.

“Yes he is, but he’s not making any headway.” Fury said. He’d moved to cutting up some bread. This was all bizarrely domestic considering what danger we were all in.

“I cracked the pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare,” Tony said. His frustration was dripping from him.

“Yeah, well. I contacted our friends at the NEXUS about that.”

“NEXUS?” Steve asked.

“It’s the world Internet hub in Oslo,” Bruce explained. “Every byte of data flows through there. It has the fastest access on Earth”

“So what’d they say?” Clint asked cutting Bruce off.

“He’s fixated on the missiles. But the codes are constantly being changed.” Fury said.

“By whom?” Tony asked. Clint threw a dart that skimmed past Tony’s face startling him, before embedding itself in the bulls-eye.

“Parties unknown.” Fury said.

“We have an ally?” Natasha asked.

“Ultron’s got an enemy.” Fury said. “That’s not the same thing. Still, I’d pay folding money to know who it is.”

“Might need to visit Oslo,” Tony said. “Find our unknown.”

“Well, this is good times, boss. But I was kinda hoping when I saw you, you’d have more than that.” Natasha said. She was exhausted and frustrated. Clint came over and put his hands on her shoulders. She leaned back into him. I guess they’d given up on hiding themselves.

“I do.” Fury said. “I have you.”

Everyone in the room basically just rolled their eyes. I actually let out a small laugh at them. I quickly covered my mouth.

“Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream of. And here we all are back on Earth. With nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world.” Fury said. “Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this laid in a grave. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard.”

Natasha smirked. “Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk.”

“You know what, Romanoff?” He teased.

“So what does he want?” Fury asked.

“To become better,” Steve answered. “Better than us. He keeps building bodies.”

“Person bodies,” Tony said. “The human form is inefficient biologically speaking, we’re outmoded. But he keeps going back to it.”

Bruce had walked over to Natasha and was looking at the painting of a butterfly Lila had painted. He was having thoughts about evolution and metamorphosis.

“When you two programmed him to protect the human race,” Nat said looking between Bruce and Tony. “You amazingly failed.”

“They don’t need to be protected,” Bruce said. “They need to evolve. Ultron’s going to evolve.”

“How?” Fury asked.

“Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?” Bruce asked.

“The Cradle,” Tony said.

“Exactly,” Bruce said. “He’s going to build himself a new body.”

“We could use you in this fight, Daisy. That Maximoff girl is a threat. You’re the only one equipped to deal with her.” Fury said turning to me.

Steve stepped over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, James had drifted off in his arms and was sleeping peacefully against his chest. “There is no way.”

“Then you may all be doomed.”

Steve went to speak, and I put my hand on his. “I don’t see how I can fight. I can barely even walk yet. I have stitches along the bottom of my abdomen. I lost like three pints of blood. Even if that wasn’t the case, I’m not combat trained. I don’t Hulk out like this guy.” I hooked my thumb back at Bruce. “I’m just a civilian who can read minds.”

“Read minds. Alter minds. Force your will on to others. You could incapacitate the fast one, and you could protect everyone else from the other one.” Fury said.

“Or I could get knocked the fuck out, and die and leave my son with neither of his biological parents.” I snapped.

“You could stay in the jet. You took over my body when I was in South Africa and you were on this farm.” Tony said. “You wouldn’t need to be in any danger.”

“No,” Steve said. “I won’t allow it. It’s too dangerous.”

“You’ve been trying to protect her for so long, Rogers,” Tony said. He spoke calmly and rationally. “Maybe it’s time you let her protect you.”

I felt like everyone was missing a massive piece of the puzzle here. “What about, James?” I asked.

“Maybe James could spend some time with his Uncle Nick?”

// NEXT

[alicedoessurveys]

Stage one: Emotions.

How often do you take actions you regret? not often, im very much someone who thinks things through first (sometimes too much) but will occasionally do things regret 

Do you often feel guilty? yes Do you have a short temper? sometimes, depends on how my emotions are and what time of month it is... 

When was the last time you lashed out at someone? I cant remember  And why was that? I cant remember

Does it always seem like the entire world is out to get you? right now yes Have you ever had a serious mental break down? im living one right now tbh

What led up to this? (sadness, depression, fury, confusion, etc) not coping well with my illness, then covid invade and lockdown happened, I lost my job, im living with parents that don't like each other and cant afford to move out  Do you believe it is just natural for humans to feel lonely? yes, I think we have this natural thing in us to find people to share our lives with Do you ever feel lonely, even in the presence of those you know or love? all the time yes Do you believe that these are the “best years of your life”? absolutely not. I know people say your twenties are supposed to be but mine have been pure shit. I was diagnosed with a incurable illness literally right before I turned 20 and ive been dealing with that since Or do you follow the “the best is yet to come” philosophy? I try to believe that the best years are ahead  Does it sometimes feel like your life is being wasted or not going anywhere? yes, right now especially because I want to be out there working but ive lost the job I loved and cant find another because everything locked down Tell me about the last time you were truly, truly happy. the day I met my niece and cuddled her for the first time. I remember looking down at her as she held my finger and I just was so excited for all the adventures we are going to have together

Stage two: Relationships.

How long was your longest relationship? 3 months... cant believe it took me that long to realise he was a dick How old were you when you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend? 23 Do you (or have you ever) had feelings for the SAME sex? I have yes but I don't get the urge to act on those feelings Do you consider yourself gay or bisexual? How strongly do you feel about it? I don't know. I have more crushes on guys but have had the occasional girl crush too, but I wouldn't want to act on anything. but then again, I don't get the urge to act on feeling towards guys either so maybe im asexual? I honestly don't know but im not stressing about it Have you ever had your heart broken? yes Did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your high school bf/gf? I didn't have one so nope Is it harder to get dumped or do the dumping? both hurt just the same I think  Have you been able to stay good friends with any of your exes? yes, although we don't really talk anymore If so, is there any tension (sexual or not) between the two of you? we did kiss once but it was nothing  Would you ever date someone that your friend liked or HAD dated? it depends on the situation but doubt it no When was the last time you were kissed? last year, I miss having someone to kiss ngl Are you a virgin? Do you believe virginity is “sacred”? I am. I don't think its sacred and honestly don't see the big deal but I am one of those wait till marriage or at least wait till you're certain this is your person kind of people How many times have you been in love? Was it always real? never Stage three: Friendships.

Would you say that you have a lot of friends? I have a lot of acquaintances, a few friends and two best friends Have you ever been considered to be a “loner”? not really  How often do you hang out with your friends? usually like every other week but cause of lockdown I haven't properly in months  Do you have a specific hang out or house that you go to? usually the cinema, or round at once of our houses Have you ever done anything illegal to help a friend? don't think so, if I did it would be something minor  If not, would you be willing to? What would be your limit? depends how major it was. like if he said rob a bank with me or commit murder then nope. but like, drive a bit faster because im running late then yeah but even then id still be safe  Who is your best friend? VERY best. Choose. rhys Have any of your friends ever stabbed you in the back? yes Did you forgive them? Are you still friends? some yes, some no  Are your friends the only people that “get you”? no Do you think your friends know you better than your own parents? yes Have you ever lost a close friend because they died? no Have you ever lost a friend because they gained a bf/gf and dropped you? yes Are your friends your support system? =] yes Stage four: Family Life

Are both your parents alive? yes Were you raised by your biological parents? yes Has your family ever been broken? not my immediate family, but right now they're close to breaking  Do you think your parents respect your space? not really  Are you close with you siblings, if you have any? very close How often does your family fight or have big arguments? right now every bloody day  Does your family hold very high religious beliefs? yes Are you the “black sheep” of your household? no Have you ever in anger told your parent(s) that you hated them? no I never use that word directed at someone  How often are you diciplined or punished or grounded? never, im 25. but even as a kid I was well behaved  Do you feel like you are allowed to express yourself inside your own home? to a degree yes, but also no. im not allowed to swear around dad and im not allowed to get a rabbit Are your parents very controlling of the person “they want you to be”? not really Your family really does love each other, doesn’t it? I hope so  Are you planning to move away when you turn 18? im 25 now and desperate to move into my own space but cant afford to 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Stage one: Emotions. How often do you take actions you regret? In terms of emotions, mine get the best of me and are very much in control. I get very moody and irritable and when that happens, I tend to be short and snippy with my loved ones. I feel like I’m so draining, too, when I’m like that. I know I feel that way when other people are in a bad mood. I can just feel it. I feel so bad when I’m like that. I catch myself doing it and I’m like, damn you need to chill tf out. They don’t deserve it at all. :/

Do you often feel guilty? Yes. For the reasons I listed above and others. I feel such a burden, I don’t contribute much of anything, I’m not doing anything with my life, I’ve neglected myself in so many ways, I’ve pushed so many people away....I’ve messed up a lot of things.  Do you have a short temper? I don’t get angry easily, but I get irritable and frustrated very easily.

When was the last time you lashed out at someone? Not that long ago. :/ And why was that? It’s like I talked about with my moods and emotions and getting irritable and frustrated easily. No good reason for it.

Does it always seem like the entire world is out to get you? Life has definitely thrown a lot at me, but I really feel like what Pink said in one of her older songs, “don’t let me get me, I’m my own worst enemy.” Have you ever had a serious mental break down? Yepppp.  What led up to this? (sadness, depression, fury, confusion, etc) My depression, anxiety, stressors, life??? Do you believe it is just natural for humans to feel lonely? Yeah. It’s natural for us to want relationships--romantic and friendships. We want intimacy and love and connection. We don’t always have that, though. Right now especially I think most of us have experienced that in some way or another.  Do you ever feel lonely, even in the presence of those you know or love? Yes. I’m not physically alone very much, so it’s not that kind of loneliness that I feel most often. Although, I do feel that in the sense that I don’t have friends or a significant other. Most of the loneliness I feel is in other ways. Do you believe that these are the “best years of your life”? Yikes, noooo. Absolutely not. These past 5 years have been my lowest.  Or do you follow the “the best is yet to come” philosophy? It’s hard for me to see good in my future. :/ The future just terrifies me. Does it sometimes feel like your life is being wasted or not going anywhere? That’s exactly how I’ve felt these past few years. Tell me about the last time you were truly, truly happy. Childhood, the beginning of me and Joseph, and the time I had with Ty. Unlike my depression, I have bouts of happiness. But it’s fleeting. My depression, on the other hand, likes to stick around and doesn’t care that it’s not wanted.  Stage two: Relationships. How long was your longest relationship? Counting what Joseph and I had, 3 years. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend? I was 16. Do you (or have you ever) had feelings for the SAME sex? No. Do you consider yourself gay or bisexual? How strongly do you feel about it? No. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes, many times in different ways. Did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your high school bf/gf? Ha, no. I only had one, and it was not a serious relationship at all and it didn’t last long. Is it harder to get dumped or do the dumping? Both are hard, but being dumped really hurts. Have you been able to stay good friends with any of your exes? Yes, for awhile. It ultimately didn’t work out, though. If so, is there any tension (sexual or not) between the two of you? No longer friends with them. Would you ever date someone that your friend liked or HAD dated? No. When was the last time you were kissed? It’s been almost 10 years... Are you a virgin? Do you believe virginity is “sacred”? Yes I am.  How many times have you been in love? Was it always real? Twice. Stage three: Friendships. Would you say that you have a lot of friends? I have no friends. Have you ever been considered to be a “loner”? Yep. “I’m a loner, Dottie.” How often do you hang out with your friends? Do you have a specific hang out or house that you go to? Have you ever done anything illegal to help a friend? Other than giving them movie files I’ve pirated…no not really lol <<< lol same and with music. Who is your best friend? VERY best. Choose. I don’t have friends, but I have my family. They’re the closest people to me. My mom, especially. She is my best friend. Have any of your friends ever stabbed you in the back? Yeah, friends have in the past. Did you forgive them? Are you still friends? Some I did, some I didn’t.  Are your friends the only people that “get you”? I don’t even get me. Do you think your friends know you better than your own parents? Have you ever lost a close friend because they died? No. Have you ever lost a friend because they gained a bf/gf and dropped you? Yes. Are your friends your support system? =] My family is. Stage four: Family Life Are both your parents alive? Yes.  Were you raised by your biological parents? Yes. Has your family ever been broken? Not my immediate family, but extended family members. Do you think your parents respect your space? Yes. Are you close with you siblings, if you have any? My younger brother and I are close. How often does your family fight or have big arguments? We all butt heads with each other at times.  Does your family hold very high religious beliefs? No. I’m the only one in my immediate family who is actively reading/studying the Bible and “attending” church (I put that in quotations because I’ve been doing so online). Are you the “black sheep” of your household? I do feel that way. I’m just so different. Have you ever in anger told your parent(s) that you hated them? No. How often are you diciplined or punished or grounded? I’m almost 31 years old... Do you feel like you are allowed to express yourself inside your own home? Yes. Are your parents very controlling of the person “they want you to be”? No. I mean of course they want the best for me and they encourage me to do certain things (regarding my health), but they’ve never pressured or pushed me to do or be something I’m not. I have very supportive parents. Your family really does love each other, doesn’t it? Yes. Are you planning to move away when you turn 18? I’m almost 31 and still living at home. That won’t change anytime soon, either.

[demiromantic-official]

Musings on Reactions to Aro and Ace Headcanons By Allo (Non-Aspec) People

As someone who regularly consumes fictional media--mostly tv series and novels--I come across many headcanons about the romantic and sexual orientations of countless characters, all of which are valid.  Fiction comes to life at the interpretation of the audience, which is almost as important as the text itself and as the author’s intentions. I’m not writing to discuss about how people interpret fiction, though, but rather a pattern I have found when certain characters are headcanoned as ace, aro, or any form of arospec,; a pattern that follows a rhetoric that will sound familiar to almost all aspec people.  

Let’s give an example. Though I am not an avid headcanon-er or shipper, if I find a character that shows signs of being aspec, genderqueer, bisexual, gay/lesbian, or another form of LGBTQ+, I am prone to suspect that the character is that sexuality or gender, or at least that the character could be that sexuality or gender. I usually do not deal in absolutes since until something is shown in canon, any headcanon is valid. Even if canon seems to dispute a headcanon there is nothing wrong with headcanons of any sort. In a recent show I watched, a character struck me as possibly aromantic since he seemed opposed to romance, said that he’d never fall in love, and that he sort of expected to remain single and to prioritize his friends through playing D&D with them forever, and that his friends would prioritize each other and also remain single. Then I made the mistake of looking up the character/show on tumblr to see what other people think.  Many are under the impression that the character is a closeted gay boy who may be struggling with internalized homophobia due to being young and living in a time period when being gay was less accepted than it is today, which is a fair enough assessment. It is definitely a valid way to interpret the character and I can understand how they could see him that way, especially if they have not shared my experiences. For all I know, that could be the screenwriter’s intentions, that the character is gay. What bothered me, however, was how furious these people became at anyone who suggested that the character was aro or aspec.  Comments like (and i paraphrase)  “the character is clearly a closeted gay boy, not aro” “@ aroaces: don’t take one of the few gay reps just because you relate to him” “get your hands off the gay rep”.  These kinds of comments were not from just one person, but several.

Where have I heard this rhetoric before? Oh yeah, from the hundred of aphobic and exclusionist people on tumblr.  I am not saying that every person who has made such a comment is aphobic but the situation does parallel the aspec situation and hint at a deeper problem among the LGBTQ+ community and it’s treatment of aspec people.  How people tell us that talking about being aspec is damaging to the LGBTQ+ community because people who are confused and struggling with internalized homophobia may mislabel themselves as aspec and that aspecs are responsible for any trauma they experience as a result. How they say that us interacting with the LGBTQ+ community is somehow “stealing” resources from gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans people who (by this logic) are more deserving than aspec people of help (these groups of course deserve all the help and resources they need and want, but saying aspec people steal resources and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to be a part of community implies that aspec people do not deserve help at all).  These arguments over the headcanons from non-aspec people is just rehashing the old aphobic and exclusionist rhetoric but under a different context.

Aspec people are no more “stealing” representation from gay people by suggesting a character shows signs of being aspec than they are “stealing” resources from the rest of LGBTQ+ people. The idea that aspec people are “stealing” by finding community where they should be accepted and finding comfort in headcanoning a character as aspec, even if they may be projecting slightly on that character due to relating to them, is ludicrous.  Furthermore, someone headcanoning a character differently than you does not mean they are saying that you cannot have your headcanon and does not mean that the showriters would change their minds if your headcanon was “right”, so the idea that they can steal rep that hasn’t been verified in canon is ludicrous as well.  Fiction doesn’t belong to one person only, but to every individual who consumes it and each consumer is allowed to interpret it in their own way.  

These accusations about aspec people stealing representation of other sexualities is damaging to the community and alienates aspec people in the same way that aphobic people and exclusionists alienate aspec people.  The orientation of fictional characters is not the most important thing in the world, but the underlying problem in the fury of people who claim aspec headcanons steal representation and therefore should not be shared is important for everyone in the LGBTQ+ community to be aware of.  Not to just be aware, but also to oppose.  I am not implying that we should argue with every person who has made such a comment about aspec headcanons, or that we should argue with any of them for that matter.  What I am saying is that aphobic and exclusionist rhetoric has touched many aspects of society and the LGBTQ+ community, even in something as innocuous as headcanons and that it needs to change.  People need to change, and if they have made such comments about the headcanons but do not consider themselves aphobic, they should re-evaluate why they are so protective over their headcanons so as to be aggressive to people who have aspec headcanons. Attitudes toward aspec people needs to change, and by showing light to the little signs of aphobia I hope that people can be more aware of this need. I hope for a community where aspec people can be as accepted as those of other orientations and where everyone in the LGBTQ+ community can stand in solidarity, rather than disputing over their differences and alienating each other, like many cishet people have tried to alienate anyone who doesn’t fit into a square box.

[billykaplandemiurge]

Marvel LGBTQ+characters.

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Male couples/characters

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊ ┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ ┊         ┊       ┊   ✫ ┊         ┊       ☪⋆     ✯ ⋆      ┊ . ˚        ˚✩

Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Both Wiccan (Billy Kaplan) and Hulkling (Teddy Altman) were members of the Young Avengers which was formed when the regular Avengers had disbanded. They were attempting to mimic the looks and codenames of original Avengers. Wiccan taking a look similar to Thor (even originally calling himself Asgardian), and Hulkling taking a name that obviously comes from the Hulk, even though neither character had any connections to Thor or Hulk. The two have been held in high praise as Marvel's most prominent LGBT couple, and are currently engaged to be married. Their relationship has never been a secret. Also, my personal favorite couple!

Northstar and Kyle

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Northstar's relationship with Kyle as a way to write an inspiring story about characters who feel like outsiders even among outsiders. Here are two people, trying to live their lives mutant and gay, black and gay. Empowered in their own ways, but also fringe dwellers. And they're making it happen. They're living life on their own terms. It doesn't matter that it's a superhero comic, the message is: You can be yourself.  Northstar a mutant with powers, then Kyle on the other hand is a normal human being. He posses no super powers or mutant genes. But, he’s very supportive of his lover Northstar and continues to be.

Iceman and Romeo

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

All New X-Men comic, the popular mutant Iceman locks lips with another character named Romeo who reportedly “belongs to a rival class of superhuman known as Inhumans.” In the comic, the pair go on a series of dates, ultimately leading to their big, romantic moment. As a big fan of marvel it warms my heart to see things finally unfolding and expanding into the lgbtq+ community.

Iceman and Judah

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

To be clear, there are two Icemans currently running around the comics X-Men universe. There is the adult Iceman, the same one that comic fans have grown up with since the 1960s. There is also a time-displaced Iceman, after teenage Bobby was brought from the past to the present. Teen Bobby was outed by psychic Jean Grey, and has since come out, kissed a guy and got a boyfriend. It was revealed it wasn’t just teen Bobby that was coming to terms with being gay, it was adult Bobby too.  Fortunately, things are looking up for Iceman aka Bobby Drake, as the superhero is sharing his own first gay kiss with a guy he met in Los Angeles named Judah, and it’s adorable.

Alan Scott (Greenlantern) Sam Zaho

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Alan Scott was a young, openly gay media mogul, who dedicated his work to the heroes who gave their lives three years prior in the war against Darkseid. He was in a relationship with Sam Zhao, and while on a business trip in Sam's native China, he worked up the nerve to propose. Unfortunately, just before Sam could accept the proposal, the train crashed suddenly, killing nearly every passenger except Alan - including Sam.

Daken

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Back in the '40s Wolverine was married to a nice Japanese girl, but in an effort to bring Wolverine out of hiding, his pregnant wife was murdered by the Winter Soldier. The baby survived and was raised by a Japanese family where the servants referred to him as "Daken" which translated as "bastard dog."Eventually, Daken was told that it was his father, Logan, who had murdered his mother because his father didn't want a child. Eager to get revenge, he began training so the could find and murder his father. Daken's mutation is similar to that of Wolverine's: he has three retractable bone claws (two in the knuckles and one in the wrist) on each hand, and the traditional healing factor, but he also can produce pheromones to confuse those around him, and has often used them to confuse and manipulate straight men he claims to be bisexual.

Colossus

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Colossus  grew jealous amongst the romance of his team mates. Eventually he grew fond of wolverine. Although Colossus remains protective of Wolverine, he realizes his affections are unrequited. Piotr was briefly interested in Longshot, a mutant whom he and his teammates rescued in Krakoa, but later learned Longshot was a murderer. More recently, there have been hints of a romantic spark between Colossus and mutant speedster Northstar (Jean-Paul Beaubier); but as more of Piotr's friends pursue inter-team relationships, Colossus's self-doubt and feelings of isolation may yet return. 

Loki

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

As we will find out later on, Loki's history is ripe with gender swapping and confusing sexual proclivities. Apparently he inherited all that from his biological father -- or should we say mother. It's tough to say. A  pansexual shapeshifter who has changed into animals and women in the past, Loki has also had relationships with men and women, but there has been no clear orientation before the book’s proposal.

Female couples/characters

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊ ┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ ┊         ┊       ┊   ✫ ┊         ┊       ☪⋆     ✯ ⋆      ┊ . ˚       ˚✩

Moondragon and Phyla-Vell

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Moondragon's backstory is pretty intense, and even though she is openly bi-sexual and has been romantically linked to heroes like Thor and Daredevil she has been most recently romantic with Phyla-Vell.

Mystique and Destiney ──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

In the comics, Mystique is openly bisexual (which I guess works when you can shapeshift to either gender!). If you've seen an X-Men movie then you know that the beautiful blue shapeshifter Mystique has played a pivotal role in the X-Men franchise. One of the biggest characters that influenced her comic counterpart however has never appeared: her partner Destiny.

Karolina and Xavin ──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Xavin came to earth to marry Karolina Dean, but was turned down because she said that she was attracted to females. But Xavin revealed that this was not a problem because Skrull are natural shape shifters, meaning that he could change gender as easily as she could change her clothes. So Karolina left with him to get married. The intricacies of Xavin and Karolina Dean's relationship and the nature of their sexuality together are not completely understood by the Runaways, but appear mostly homosexual.

Spiderwoman

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

Another example from the Ultimate universe is Jessica Drew - Spider-Woman. In the main comic continuity, Drew was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that had been experimented on by Hydra to be given powers. She took the name of Spider-Woman but was unrelated to Spider-Man in any way. However, in the Ultimate universe she was one of the many clones created based on Peter Parker. This version of Drew eventually joined the Ultimates by invitation of Nick Fury, however in this universe she's expressed interest in women, and in her words: "especially redheads and Jews."

America Chavez

──── •°.༻ ❁ ༺.°• ────

One of marvels first Latino queer superhero’s! This may not be a couple, but from what we can tell this superhero has an obvious crush on Kate Bishop.

[stanananathon]

hi so this account is mostly it themed but i’m also a huge ass harry potter nerd and i love me some wolfstar so I felt like writing this but lemme know if this bothers anybody and i’ll do hp writing on a different account! :) 

also this is 2.8k words lolol but i promise it’s worth it!!

James could tell Sirius was struggling with something. He was spending less time cracking jokes and more time looking pensive. He would space out during meals and spend a lot of time in his four-poster with the curtains shut. James figured he was just upset about something and was just going to let him pout it out, but when it lasted almost two weeks, he decided to intervene. 

The four marauders were on their way to charms when James decided that he and Sirius needed to skip charms today. 

“We’ll meet up with you boys later!” James grinned and pulled Sirius away, leaving a confused Remus and a shrugging Peter in his wake. 

“What is going on?” Sirius asked as James took him into an abandoned classroom. 

“I’d like to ask you the same thing.” James ventured, but Sirius just gave him an incredulous look.

“What the fuck are you on about?” James rolled his eyes.

“You! You’ve been acting all weird lately, but I can’t figure out why.” Sirius immediately closed in on himself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” James sighed.

“C’mon, Pads. It’s me. Whatever’s going on you can tell me. We’re brothers.” James tried to make eye contact, but Sirius kept his head bowed, something he only did when he was ashamed. James set a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

“Pads?” He asked quietly. He heard a quiet sniffle in response. Immediately, he pulled Sirius into a tight hug, who reciprocated quickly. Gripping the pack of James’ robes, Sirius let himself cry.

They were mostly silent tears, for Sirius was never a loud crier. After a couple minutes, Sirius pulled back, furiously wiping at his face. 

“Sorry, I’m just being dumb.”

“Don’t apologize, Sirius. What’s going on?” Sirius wrung his hands.

“I’ve um--recently been um--noticing some...things about myself.”

“Okay...?”

“And they have to do with--um--feelings...” Sirius trailed off and looked at James pleadingly as if to say Please understand what I’m saying. I can’t say it myself. I need you to say it for me. James did his best.

“Okay, feelings. Like for a person?” Sirius nodded. “And, you’re ashamed of these feelings.” Sirius hung his head again and gave a small nod.

“Pads. Are you--are you gay?” James ventured. He didn’t want to be the one to come out for Sirius but it seemed like Sirius would never be able to say it on his own. Sirius was still for a moment.

“No. Yes. Or maybe. I don’t know.” Sirius grasped at his hair. “Look, this-this guy, I have feelings for. The way I feel about him, I’ve never felt about anyone else, especially not a girl.” Sirius wasn’t quite ready to tell James just whom he had this crush on, though thoughts of a sweater-wearing werewolf past through his mind.

“Okay,” James nodded, “so maybe you’re gay. What then?” Sirius gave a pained laugh.

“My mum kicks me out, I get disinherited, my brother hates me, and I lose what little connection I have left to the Black family.” James nodded again.

“So, then, what do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know.” Sirius looked lost. James put an arm around him.

“It sounds like maybe you need to do some thinking, but I’m always here for you, man. The Black’s are the worst, but you’ve always got a brother in me.” Sirius managed a smile.

“Thanks, mate.”

Sirius took what James said to heart. He did some thinking, a lot of it, and borderline thought himself into a tailspin. Not only was he a pureblood in the magical community of a famous house, but he was all of that in the U.K. in the 1970s. Sure stuff was starting to happen in the muggle world, at least--people grouping together, calling for fair treatment, representation--but that didn’t change people’s minds, and that didn’t account for the wizarding world.

Whether you had magic or not, being gay wasn’t normal. Then again Sirius had never really thought of himself as normal; he was the first Gryffindor in the Black family, possibly, ever? He didn’t even know. But wasn’t he already ostracized enough for that? Did he really need to add on something like being gay to his reputation?

Sirius immediately became ashamed of who he was. He had accepted it, he knew he couldn’t change who he was attracted to, but that in no ways meant he had to act on it. He knew what James said, and he wanted to believe him, but as much as he hated this his family was still his family. What was he going to do if they really did kick him out?

Without even realizing it, he began to draw away from his friends. He always knew he had James, but he felt the need to talk less, joke less. Remus, he couldn’t even look in the eye. If Remus knew how he felt, how he felt about him he’d never forgive Sirius. 

But then Remus comes out to the group as bisexual and Sirius’ world turns upside down. Remus tells the boys one night after recovering from a particularly bad full moon. He tells them quietly but sincerely, saying that he wasn’t going to start wearing makeup or that his demeanor would change, but that he wasn’t going to hide it either. James was the first to jump him, saying that this still didn’t change anything, they’d always love Remus; he was their friend. Peter, as much of a follower as ever, nodded right along with James.

But Sirius. Sirius sat for a moment. His brain couldn’t wrap itself around the idea of Remus being queer. And he came out. Did Sirius have to do that? He didn’t think he could. Suddenly there was a static electricity filling his chest, and the next thing he knew, Sirius was running. He sped out of the common room, ignoring James calling after him, and made his way to an empty classroom. He grasped at his hair as he tried to catch his breath. 

He had a few minutes to collect himself before someone burst through the door.

“What the fuck, Pads?” Sirius whipped around to a very angry Remus.

“I--”

“Why’d you run away?” Don’t ask that question, please don’t ask anything that might make me say it. “Am I that disgusting?” No, no you’re beautiful. God, you’re so beautiful. “Well?”

Sirius wanted to answer him. He wanted to say something, anything, but it was like there was a hand around his throat, constricting him from speaking. Remus’ eyes burned with fury.

“Seriously? You have nothing to say? I thought we were best friends!” We are! We are, we are, we are. “I can’t believe that after everything we’d been through this is what you choose to be the dividing point between us.” Hurt flashed over Remus’ eyes and he gave Sirius one last look. 

“Fine then.” He made his way to the door. “Goodbye, Sirius.” Remus closed the door behind him and Sirius broke down on the floor.

Sirius and Remus didn’t talk for two weeks. It was after that that James decided he needed to intervene again. One night, James and Sirius had an hour to themselves (Peter had gotten detention and Remus had been spending his nights in the library), so James decided now was the time. He made his way over to Sirius’ bed and pulled open the curtain.

“Woah, there!” Sirius joked, “Warn a guy before you try to jump him, yeah?” 

“Cut the crap, Sirius. What went down between you and Moony?” Sirius immediately looked down at his lap, starting to fiddle with his hands.

“I fucked thing up, Prongs.” James sighed and sat down at his feet.

“How?”

“Well, he followed me when I bolted out to have a panic attack, and caught me right after, confronted me, asked if I thought he was disgusting, and when I didn’t say anything, he left.”

“Oh, Pads.”

“I wanted to say something! I-I wanted to say everything. That-that he’s not alone, that I’m,” he gulped, “that I’m gay, and-and I wanted...” Sirius paused and James searched his eyes for what he was trying to say.

“Wanted..?”

“I wanted to tell him that I love him.” Sirius hung his head and wiped at his eyes. “Dammit, I’ve always loved him. Since the moment he told us that he was a werewolf and I saw how damn brave he was, you know? He’s just so beautiful, but I can’t tell him.”

“Why not?” James asked softly.

“Because what if he doesn’t feel the same, you know? What if it just ruins our friendship?”

“Sirius you haven’t talked to each other in two weeks. I think that anything you tell him now that explains why you acted the way you did could only help your situation.” Sirius nodded and sniffled.

“Yeah, I s’pose you’re right.” Right then they hear the dormitory door open and James looks at Sirius expectantly. He peaks around to confirm that it’s Remus and not Peter, before giving Sirius one last look and standing up.

“Well, I’ve got some business to deal with, so I’ll have to see you two later!” He made is way out of the door, leaving a heavy silence in his wake. Sirius knew that this was the moment he needed to say something.

“Hey, Moony. Fancy, seeing you here, huh?” Sirius ventured, immediately regretting it when Remus made eye contact with him. 

“What do you want, Sirius? I thought we weren’t talking to each other.” Okay, he deserved that.

“Well, um, I want to talk now, um--”

“Oh, do you? Have you finally been able to wrap your head around me being bi? Not afraid I’m gonna jump you in the shower anymore or stare at you when you change?”

“No, Jesus, Rem, I never thought--”

“Don’t.” Remus’ voice was sharp. “Don’t call me that.” Sirius deflated. 

“Okay. Remus. Look, what I wanted to say--”

“And, you know, of all people I never thought you would be the one to reject me. With your family, I thought you of all people would understand feeling like the odd one out. I thought you’d be empathetic at least.” Sirius’ heart broke for Remus.

“I did--do. I do understand. Look, Remus, please just listen.” Sirius stood up to try and get Remus to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want to listen, Sirius! I tried to listen two weeks ago, and you just-you just stared at me. You didn’t say anything.” Remus’ shoulders drooped and he turned back towards the door. But Sirius couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have Remus hate him, couldn’t have him so disappointed in him. 

“Remus, please--” Sirius gripped his arm, getting as close as to would to begging Remus to stay just a minute longer, please. “I’m-I’m trying, okay?”

“Trying to what?” Remus bit back, but he didn’t pull his arm out of Sirius’ grip, which he wanted to believe was good. Sirius swallowed, decided it was now or ever, and putting on the most sincere voice he could, he looked Remus in the eyes and told him.

“I’m trying to tell you,” he cleared his throat, “that I’m in love with you.” 

The silence hung in the air as time stood still. Sirius waited for Remus’ response while Remus tried to wrap his head around what he’d just heard. Sirius was his love? With him? 

“You--what?” Remus sputtered. Sirius let out a ghost of a laugh. 

“I’m in love with you. I have been for years but I just didn’t know how to deal with it.” He let go of Remus’ arm to start pacing as he let himself let out everything he’d been feeling.

“I ignored it for a long time until I couldn’t, and then James noticed and he just wouldn’t let it go, you know? And then I start thinking about it, and I’m like ‘Yeah, okay, I’m gay.’ And then I started thinking about it more and about how I’m already isolated from my family, and how it’s wrong and people die for being gay, and I just got so scared, Rem. And-and then you came out and you made it look so easy, and then I was just even more ashamed because you could do it, why couldn’t I? And then you yelled at me and I saw how you looked at me that night and I wanted to tell you right then and there, but I just couldn’t.” 

“What made you change your mind?”

“James.” Sirius grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “He-uh, talked to me again. Told me that even if you ended up not feeling the same way that at least I could try to set things straight with us. Cos I was scared of that, too. Of me confessing and you hating me, but then James pointed out to me that you probably weren’t gonna hate me more than you already did, so--”

“I don’t hate you.”

“No?” Sirius looked up from the floor to see the Remus had stepped across the room so that he and Sirius were no longer at opposite ends.

“No, I could never you. I was afraid of the same thing.” Remus admitted, and Sirius laughed as tears of relief welled in his eyes. He took a step forward himself, and put his hands on Remus’ arms, Remus reciprocated by gripping his elbows tightly.

“I could never, ever hate you, Moony.” Remus let himself sigh in relief, and Sirius watched as a tear drifted down his cheek. Before he realized what he was doing, he’d lifted a hand to wipe the tear from Remus’ face, delicately caressing the skin. When this happened, Remus’ eyes locked with Sirius’ and Sirius instantly felt like he was drowning in them. Remus’ gaze flickered between Sirius’ eyes and lips. Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat. Was Remus going to kiss him? Please let the answer be yes. But then Remus pulled back slightly. 

“So, you’re in love with me?” Sirius cleared his throat again.

“Uh-yeah, well--”

“I’m in love with you too. I have been since the day I met you.” And, Merlin, if Sirius thought he was drowning before, this was a whole new level. Remus was looking at him with such seriousness, such sincerity. Sirius did the only thing he could think to do, and he pulled Remus’ face into his.

And then they were kissing. Sirius couldn’t believe it. It was like he’d been going about his whole life wondering what his purpose was, and this was it. Kissing Remus, loving Remus, it was everything. His hands slid up Remus’ neck to grip at his hair, causing Remus to growl and back Sirius up into one of the columns a fourposter. His arm’s wrapped around Sirius’ waist; Sirius sighed into Remus’ mouth when he felt his hands slip underneath his shirt to brush his lower back. 

Just as things were getting good, however, they were rudely interrupted by James and Peter bursting through the door.

“Have you two made up yet?” James called before actually looking at them. When he did, he smirked.

“Well, I’d say so.” Peter quipped, and James cackled, giving him a high five. Peter might have never been prouder of himself than he was in that moment.

“We were in the process of getting along before you two oh-so-rudely interrupted us.” Remus let his head drop into the crook of Sirius’ neck and snickered. James guffawed.

“Look, I’m very happy for you two, mate, really. But this dormitory does not house just the two of you. The rest of us do not need to hear you fucking all the time.”

“James!” Sirius said, mock-scandalized. He would have said more but then Remus pressed his body against his, and he felt a certain something against his thigh as Remus whispered in his ear.

“Well, it would be rude of us to have to subject them to that, wouldn’t it? But I do happen to have access to a certain bathroom with a lockable door...” He lightly bit Sirius’ earlobe, causing the poor pureblood to nearly jump into the ceiling. He turned red as James cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Well!” He managed, “Remus and I have a little time to, uh, make up for, so we’ll see you chaps later!” Sirius dragged Remus out of the dormitory as Remus cackled, Peter look scandalized, and James faux gagged.

“Be safe, children!” He called after them. He laughed before beginning to get out his Transfiguration homework. After a minute or two, Peter spoke up.

“Oh, dear god.” James looked up at him.

“What’s up, Wormy?”

“It’s Remus and Sirius. Two of the dumbest most oblivious boys on the planet. Do you realize how over-involved we’re going to be in their relationship because those fucks can’t handle their emotions?” James took a moment before a funny dread filled his stomach.

“Shit.”

[pandorbax]

Fill out with muse info.

Repost don't reblog.

name: Evelynne Lee Chamber (Birth name is Galaxie in the Solana Galaxy, but only her father and her big sister Rosie know that). Her birth name was never mentioned to her mother bc of family issues.

alias (nickname): Eve, girl (only by close friends), sis (only by her friends Katy, Alice and Eliza), twinie or twin-ee (Evie, evil twin).

gender: Female, or prefer as a tomboy x3

age: Early 30s

date of birth: May 23rd, 5539

origin of birth: Planet Fastoon, Polaris Galaxy

race/species: Kittybax (basically a lombax hybrid with cat features such as thin as whiskers that is impossible to see and feel. She also has 9 lives, well really 7 bc shes died 3 times x3)

Spoken languages: Fustrasho (native, its something I made up where you can talk gibberish but instead you act as well. It gets really confusing and especially frustrating, but that's why it's called that), maori, english and lombax

romantic/sexual preference: Bisexual

occupation: Aborist

hobbies: Singing, diys, sewing, music, playing her guitar and piano, writing and composing her own songs

criminal records: Manslaughter, murder, trespassing, shoplifting (got caught twice), stole a ship that wasn't registered and drunk driving (I know that's a lot of holes XD)

disorders: depression, anxiety, PTSD, migraines and sinuses

eye colour: hazel

fur colour: golden blonde

height: 5'0"

scars: on her left side of her chest and 2 marks on her back

overweight: nope

underweight: nope

colour: blue/turquoise, black and purple

favourite foods: fish, rice, porridge (honey), pasta and butterchicken

had sex: yes

had sex in public: no

low/average/high sex drive: average

boobs or butts: butts

want to get married: not married, till she knows she can open up to them

gotten pregnant/had a child: yes

wants a child: nope, 3 would do (unless she gets to adopt a child or 2 or more )

likes children: she ADORES children

can sing: yes

can play an instrument: guitar and piano

can dance: yes

gotten tattoos: nope

gotten piercings: yes, in her ears

smoked/drank/done drugs: no/yes/no

had a broken heart: yes

been in love: yes

a virgin: nope

a cuddler: yes

a kisser: maybe

scared easily: depending

jealous easily: yes

hot/cold temperature: either one, she doesn't mind

trustworthy: depending

single: nope

in a relationship: Yes

extroverted/introverted: introverted

considered mean: depending

fears: dying, encountering Jason (who molested her and nearly raped her) and King Fury (arch nemesis), whatevers left of her small family

siblings: older brother Jack and sister Rosie Anne Lee (unknown)

parents: father (announced dead, but found later on), mother (alive unfortunately)

children: Melody, Shayden and Shyanne (I'll explain later)

pets: 1 blue dog and 1 pink cat (Inky and Pinky XD!!!)

tagged: @telubax

tagging: anyone else who wants to do this

[burningstcrs]

STATS.

NAME: isadora zoe valentine FANDOM / PROJECT: whisper project SPECIES: whisper ( see here for more information ) BIRTHDAY: february 3rd RESIDENCE: los angeles, california ALIGNMENT: chaotic good OCCUPATION: anarchist RELIGION: athiest

AGE: 24 GENDER: cis female EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: black HEIGHT: 5′7″ WEIGHT: 132 lbs

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual MARITAL STATUS: in a relationship OTHER: isadora is canonically in a relationship, but i am still willing to play other verses where she doesn’t have a boyfriend on request. she chooses her romantic relationships carefully, due to the fact that no one can remember her without constantly ingesting her dna. she also doesn’t make friends easily because of her temper.

RELATIONSHIPS: ilyssa valentine, fraternal quadruplet. ian valentine, identical quadruplet. ivy valentine, fraternal quadruplet. charlie valentine, older brother. zeke valentine, younger half brother. MENTAL POWERS: memory erasure, limited telepathy. PHYSICAL POWERS: limited telekinesis, slowed aging

BIOGRAPHY.

Isadora Zoe Valentine was the third born of the quadruplets, but that didn’t stop her from being the sibling on top. Even from a young age, she found herself bossing her siblings around, prodding them in the directions she wanted. Ivy was always easy to push around, and Ilyssa followed with a closed mouth and bright eyes. Ian was the only one who didn’t immediately give in to all of her demands. He was the only other one who could get the others to do things.

Ian was her first real challenge, but that didn’t make her love Ian any less. He listened to her, he challenged her, and he helped her when he felt appropriate. Isadora had a lot of ideas, and despite Charlie’s consolations and warnings, she could never accept that no one could remember her. Kids who inevitably forgot her ended up on the wrong side of her fists and her fury. Her mother punished her, scolded her, but Isadora would not let herself be forgotten.

The fire only made things worse. Her mother came out of the flames stricter, trying to keep the girl at home and engage her in less passionate activities. Ilyssa was different too. She wasn’t as willing to follow Isadora, questioned her every move, encouraged her to lay low. Isadora and Ilyssa grew apart quickly, especially as Ilyssa trained to fight while encouraging Isadora to merely lay low.

The angry child grew into the rebellious teenager. She smoked, she drank, she deliberately flouted the restrictions her mother put on her. She fed others her DNA to get them to remember her. Isadora would not let herself be forgotten. There were times she almost came to blows with Ilyssa, who tried to stifle the noise she was making. Ivy continued on in her own world as always, and only Ian could ever calm her enough to question what was the true purpose behind her need to be heard.

Despite her rebellious nature, a good heart beat in her chest. She chafed at restriction of others, at unequal treatment. She hated those who would put down others for their own gain. It infuriated her to no end, and she put her quick temper and quicker fists towards ending injustice. She saw it everywhere in the world, even at her home in the disapproving eyes of her sister and the distressed eyes of her mother.

It didn’t take her long to reach a decision. She packed quietly, and was out of the house just a week after she turned eighteen. She took the money she had saved and went somewhere she had always dreamed of: Los Angeles, California. The sun, the warmth, and the freedom were intoxicating. Finally, somewhere for her to belong.

She bounced from place to place for a long time, making friends quickly and keeping them as close as she could. They opened an all new world to her: one of protests, and sleeping in and staying out. She went to rally’s, gave what money she could scrape together away to those who needed it. She did what she had always done: she rebelled against the system.

How Ilyssa found her six months later, Isadora never knew. She had been bouncing between places for over a week, and was currently crashing on the couch of her latest conquest. Ilyssa looked furious at the way she was living, counseling her to settle down with a good job, stop making a racket and merely blend in.

This time they did come to blows. Isadora suspected afterwards that Ilyssa was holding back when Isadora punched her. They traded a few hefty blows, but once it became clear that Ilyssa wouldn’t commit to the fight, Isadora shoved her back out on the streets, and told her not to bother her again.

It wasn’t until she was twenty that she got her own place. It was tiny, just a couple of rooms, but Isadora opened her doors to anyone who needed it, just as they had done for her for the past two years. She got money from odd jobs here and there, but hardly gave her own needs a passing thought. Her mind was focused on others who needed it, those who the world would grind into the dirt.

It was then that the family gathered home once again. Isadora learned of Ian’s travels, and Ivy’s surprising flourishing in Seattle. Ilyssa spoke little of her own life, merely listening. The two reached an uneasy peace then, Ilyssa’s eyes calculating as always. Isadora didn’t trust her sister to let her live her life, to be heard, but she didn’t want to break the peace her sister had offered.

Life continued in Los Angeles. She visited Ivy once, curious to see the life the quietest quadruplet had made for herself. It was more difficult to visit Ian and Ilyssa since they were both abroad, but they came to visit her on occasion. When she was 21, Ian visited and somehow managed to persuade her to get a bigger, decently sized place. In retrospect, she never remembered how he did. Ilyssa stayed only for a day on each visit, and visibly tried not to comment when Isadora took her to rallys.

When she was 23 she met Jesse. Isadora fell hard and fast for this boy she met at the soup kitchen. He was quiet, going about the same work that she was, but was painfully shy. It didn’t take long for Isadora to snap him up, take him home, and teach him the beauty of beind heard. He was so enamoured with this loud girl, he would have screamed her name from the rooftops in exchange for a kiss.

A year later, Isadora got a text from Zeke. He needed her home immediately. She was confused, of course, but her youngest brother had alays admired her, wanting to be as independent as her, and would not call for help unless there was something urgent. Isadora threw her things together, pecked Jesse on the cheek, and jumped on a plane. Nobody had better be screwing with her family.

[lady-thor-foster]

Loving Danger // Bucky x OC Reader

Pairing: Bisexual!Bucky Barnes x Pansexual!WOC OC  (Jax “Danger” Cassidy), Brief Luke Cage x Danger (platonic), Bucky x J“D”C x OC (Eva Carter) (for sexy times) Word Count: 4.2k+ Warning: EXPLICIT Language, Fluff, Humor, Filthy Smut. That signature Foster Slow Burn. Honestly guys, I’m just gonna tag this Jax Cassidy because she’s a walking warning sign, fuckin hell. You’ve been warned. I have no control over what she does/says. Nobody does.   Summary: Danger couldn’t quite forgive Bucky for getting the both of them caught during their attempted prison break. Goddamn that man’s incessant need to please Sometimes revenge isn’t the best thing to solve a problem. Jax Cassidy is walking temptation, very few can resist her.

A/N: This was supposed to be a goddamn 500 word one shot for the Adventures of Danger and Bucky one shot series but I HAVE NO FREAKING SELF – CONTROL. So here you go. 4k+ words of filthy debauchery. Goddamnit Jax Cassidy. You should thank Kate bc she’s the reason you’re all getting this way earlier than I intended. Also I chose this gif because that fucking man bun haunts me. 

Fave club Song: Circus ~ Britney Spears

PREVIOUSLY // NEXT CHAPTER

“Cassidy, are you absolutely sure about this?” asked very concerned and confused Bucky Barnes. You tossed him a wicked grin through the mirror. Payback was going to be absolutely sweet; Barnes would never live this down.

“Totally, Barnes. This is perfectly acceptable attire for the modern society. Don’t worry, you’ll fit right into the club we’re going to. Trust me.”  Barnes narrowed his eyes suspiciously at you in the mirror. Luckily, your poker face was the epitome of perfection. You were so thoroughly proud of yourself for convincing Barnes to wear a leather chest harness over a sheer mesh shirt and leather pants. He was going to be the talk of the queer club you were tricking him into. You had to admit, he looked freakishly hot in it, especially with his hair tied up in the sexiest bun you’d ever seen. Wait...when the hell did you start thinking Barnes was sexy? Fuck. Shaking your head, you straightened the zipper on your bodysuit. It was so damn comfortable; why couldn’t you wear this all the time????

(Danger’s club outfit)

(Bucky’s harness)

Bucky tried really hard to pretend like he wasn’t watching you through the mirror. Really fucking hard. He was infinitely grateful that the pants you forced him in came with a particularly restricting jockstrap because the hard on he had from looking at you in a leather bodysuit and thigh high boots was k i l l i n g him. Your high ponytail and black lipstick made you look so powerful and so fucking sexy that he honestly just wanted to melt at your feet and let you walk all over him. He’d probably thank you for it.

The weirdest feeling fluttered in his gut every time you smirked to yourself; he briefly wondered if this was you finally getting your revenge for the failed prison break. Naturally, all thoughts flew from his brain the moment you bent forward, reached around the front of his waist and tightened his belt. He prayed to whoever might be listening that you didn’t notice the raging hard on hiding in his pants. You didn’t, at least he really hoped you didn’t.

“Alright Barnes, I think we’re finally done. You ready?” you asked mischievously. He suppressed a groan as your hands left his body.

He sighed, “We might as well get this over with.”

You snickered. You couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he finally saw where you were going.

Sneaking out of the Tower with a large and leather-clad Bucky Barnes was easier than you originally anticipated. Since Tony and Fury both agreed being cooped up could do more harm than good to Barnes’s rehabilitation, they granted him access to the outside world as long as he was with you (with your powers of electricity and telepathy being one of the safest ways to disarm him without further damaging his brain) or Steve (for obvious reasons). You figured if you had to be saddled with a 250+ pound man, you might as well get some fun out of him.

Walking through Hell’s Kitchen dressed like you were headed to a kink party was definitely earning the two of you a few stare and comments. You could feel Bucky shifting uneasily beside you; part of you enjoyed his discomfort but a larger part suddenly felt like maybe you’d taken things a bit too far.

“Uh...Danger...?” he murmured below his breath.

“What, Barnes?” you hissed.

“Are you sure...we’re dressed okay? People are staring.”

“You’re James Buchanan Barnes, best friend of THE Captain America and former Winter Soldier of the infamous HYDRA. Current Avenger. Oh! And, you have a metal arm. When are you not getting a lot of stares?” He looked at you incredulously; that funny feeling in his gut was only getting worse.

Getting into the club was a snap. Totally helps being a frequent customer, an amazing tipper and close friends with the bouncer.

“It’s so good to see you, Cage!” you exclaimed, pulling the large man into a tight embrace. Bucky fought the urge to snarl at the sight of another man’s hands around your waist. What the hell?

“Jax Danger Cassidy as I live and breathe! What brings you to Hell’s Kitchen?”

“Oh you know,” you said slyly gesturing to Bucky behind you, “He needed to see the sights.”

“Is that…,” Luke started, shocked.

“Don’t worry, he’s neutered. I’ve got his leash tonight.” Luke smirked at your assurance and word choice. Bucky scoffed; he was more annoyed that Luke hadn’t removed his offending hands from your body. Get a grip Barnes.

“You do know I’m standing here perfectly capable of hearing every word you say, right?”

“Yeah, Barnes. We know,” you laughed. He rolled his eyes. Luke (finally) let you go and unhooked the velvet rope in front of the door. Pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, he tossed a wink at Bucky.

“Have fun you two!” he chuckled. Bucky didn’t know why but he felt his stomach lurch. This couldn’t be good.

The moment you stepped foot into Top/Bottom the crowd roared. Danger had finally arrived. Poor Bucky looked like a deer caught in unsuspecting headlights. You couldn’t help but cackle. Gripping the front of harness firmly, you lead him to your usual VIP section on the second floor. Drunken men called lewdly at Bucky. You could practically feel him blushing behind you.  

“Heyyyyy Daddyyyyy!”

“Oh honey, I’d bottom like hell for you!”

“Does that harness come with a whip?!”

“Damn, I hope that ass isn’t straight!”

Bucky found himself strangely aroused from the combination of the overly raunchy attention and the firm grip of your fingers on his harness. Faint jolts of electricity flowed from your skin and hair. Nothing strong enough to cause any real damage yet, enough to make people think twice about touching you without express permission. Butterflies wreaked havoc on his insides but he did his best to keep his face impassive. Finally reaching the top of a half spiral staircase, you pushed him into a plush love-seat and sat beside him. A gorgeously muscular man wearing nothing but daisy dukes and sneakers coloured suspiciously like Captain America’s shield brought the two of you a stunning crystal bottle of whiskey. You’ve been here enough that you no longer need to place an order; they keep your favourite on hand at all times.

He couldn’t help but watch as you slid a $20 in the back pocket of your sever. You were right: the look on his face was absolutely worth him getting the two of you busted. He didn’t know what shocked him more: the ease you exuded while sipping expensive whiskey from an even more expensive glass or the fact that the guy in the shield shorts looked an awful lot like Steve. He nudged you gently to get your attention.

“So…come here often?”

You snorted in complete surprise, “James Buchanan Barnes! Did you just use a pick up line on me?”

“Honestly doll, I don’t know. This whole place has me a bit turned around. They didn’t have places like this where I came from,” he said while his eyes drank in the colorful yet drunken chaos around him.

“Sure they did; you just needed to know where to look,” you chuckled.

“You’re seriously telling me they had gay clubs in my time?” he asked skeptically. You leaned in and nipped his earlobe. Your hot breath tickling his ear renewed the raging hard on from earlier. Clearly you planned to be the death of him.

“Who said this club was just for gay people?”

“Wha-what do you mean?” he half murmured, licking his semi chapped lips.

“It’s New York, Buck. This club is for all queer identifying people. Gay, bi, pan, ace/aro, trans, non-binary, agender, etc. Black, white, Asian, Indigenous, Latinx, etc. If you’re queer, you’re here. They even accept straight people from time to time, but only if you’re vouched for by a current member.”

He sipped his whiskey and nodded. Good for them, he thought, people need spaces to find their own. He only wished things were as progressive when he was growing up. Mighta saved him a whole lot of fights and heartache.

“So…are you…?” he trailed off.

“Am I gay?” you asked. He nodded.

“Oh Buck, as much as I love eating pussy, I could never give up dick. So no. But what I am is a lover of all people. It’s not so much about the physical for me. If we connect, if there’s passion there, we’ll get along fine.”

Bucky choked violently on his whiskey. In hindsight, he should have expected something crude and surprising from you. You were Jax Cassidy; ‘crude and surprising’ was your tag line. With you pounding his back roughly, he regained proper breathing in no time.

“Christ, Danger!” he wheezed, “warned a guy before you drop something like that, woulda?”

You laughed wholeheartedly, “Sure thing, Barnes. I’ll be sure to warn you the next time I go into explicit detail about how I love to let women ride on my face until they scream. Or maybe about how much I enjoy draining a pair of balls until they person they’re attached to begs me to stop. I’ll absolutely warn you next time.”

Bucky’s cock twitched painfully in his pants. You were some kind of siren. It actually terrified him to wonder why you train exclusively with Natasha Romanoff; you certainly lived up to your nickname. He regarded you as impassively as he could manage. This might have been a love seat you were perched on but he could have sworn it was your throne. Your eyes danced with wicked delight as you surveyed your kingdom. No one was safe from your insatiable gaze.

Downing the last of your current glass, you made your way to your feet. You were so damn glad Natasha made you train in heels because goddamn, these 6 inch thigh high boots would be murder on your poor toes. Bucky looked at you in curiosity.

“Dance with me,” you said simply. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a request, Bucky couldn’t find any reason he should want say no. He nodded and pulled himself to his feet. The opening notes to your favourite club banger graced your ears. Nodding at the DJ in thanks, you stalked your way back down the staircase with Barnes in tow.

There’s only two types of people in the world,

            The ones that entertain and the ones that observe

Well baby, I’m a put-on-a-show kinda girl

           Don’t like the backseat, gotta be first

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off the way you glided to the dance floor. Your charisma was completely hypnotizing. He could see sparks flying from your fingers as the crowd parted around you. The air was so charged he could taste it. He didn’t fully understand your powers but he suspected you had something to do with it.

I’m like the ring leader

             I call the shots

I’m like a firecracker,

             I make it hot

When I put on a show

Even without your telepathy, you could feel the intense sexual energy in the room. It was actually setting off your electricity so much that you had to release little spurts just to keep yourself from overloading. A thin layer of sweat covered your bare arms. The room smelled like sex, sweat and alcohol and you couldn’t get enough of it.

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins

             Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break

I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage

            Better be ready, hope ya feel the same

Your strong fingers pulled a very aroused Bucky into your body. He lost control of his breathing the moment you flipped around started grinding your plump ass into his crotch. You could tell he wasn’t sure what he should do. It was really quite adorable. Pulling his hands around your waist, you leaned your head into his shoulder. The pounding of his super soldier enhanced heart echoed your own. Funny how this all started with a bit of revenge.

There’s only two types of guys out there,

             Ones that can hang with me and one that are scared

So baby I hope that you came prepared

             I run a tight ship, so beware

Bucky didn’t understand how normal people survived this exquisite kind of punishment without combusting in their pants. Your delectable ass, the smell of your skin, the tickle of your hair, your confident fingers holding his firmly against your hips, all of you sent his body into overdrive. Bucky craved nothing more than to lose himself in you.

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins

              Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break

I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage

             Better be ready, hope ya feel the same

The grip on your hips tightened as Bucky gained more confidence. You grinned to yourself. Finally, you’d get to see a glimpse of the sensual man he used to be. Abruptly, you found yourself staring into those icy blue eyes. His nose was mere millimeters from yours. Your breath intermingled. When you started this day, kissing Barnes was the last thing on your mind. Now here you stood, face to face with the bane of your existence. The man who seemingly lived and breathed just to piss you off. Part of you wanted to just shove him away bu—oh! Goddamn 

The moment Bucky’s eyes met yours he knew he was lost. You’d entrapped him completely. He could feel himself entirely wrapped around your finger and he couldn’t be bothered to give a single damn. He watched your gaze flick down to his mouth and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Crashing his lips to yours had to be the best goddamn decision Bucky Barnes ever made. Your fingers found their way into his hair and he groaned obscenely. You grinned wickedly into his kisses; this knowledge could be useful for later. His massive hands snaked their way to your voluptuous ass, pulling you even closer into him. It was your turn to moan into his mouth when you felt his substantial boner grinding into your crotch. Thank all the gods for 6 inch heels making the both of you finally equal in height. Forcing yourself away from his bastardly sinful mouth, you leaned into his ear.

“Let’s get out of here,” you murmured. Oh thank god, he thought. Sweeping you off your feet, Bucky carried you bridal style out of the sexually charged club. You snorted at his impatience. The chill of the night time air soothed your overheated skin as he carried you outside.  Bucky set you down, but didn’t let you go.

“I think we should call a cab, doll,” he said. You grinned mischievously. A quick snap of your fingers later and a black Cadillac Escalade rolled up to the curb. If he were anyone else, his jaw would have hit the floor.

“How did you…?”

“Stark isn’t the only rich motherfucker in New York,” you said simply. He shot you a toothy grin. Your driver stepped out and opened the door for you.

“Evening Ms. Cassidy,” she said. Bucky helped you into the car and quickly followed behind you.

“Eva, how many times must I tell you: It’s Jax or Danger. Ms. Cassidy was my shrew of a mother,” you chastised once she returned to the driver’s seat.

“My humblest apologies Ms. Jax.”

“I’m never going to break you of your professionalism, am I?” you questioned. Bucky snorted at your question.  You shot him a dirty look.

“Unfortunately not, Ms. Jax,” she replied in amusement. Bucky busied himself with trailing open mouthed kisses from your ear lobe to your clavicle. Concentration was suddenly a difficult task to accomplish.

“I-- ugh goddamn Bucky—pay you enough to drop the snooty, don’t I?” This man’s tongue would haunt you for the rest of your everlasting life. He hadn’t even gotten to where you craved it yet!

“Certainly, Ms. Jax.”

“What, do you want a raise or something? Fucking shit Barnes!” Eva’s sultry giggle floated to the backseat. Bucky’s chest rumbled with laughter.

“Something wrong, Danger?” he asked, pressing butterfly kisses into your shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m in this tight ass body suit in the back of a car and it’s getting in the way of me getting fucked!” you half shouted. Eva laughed even harder. Bucky’s right hand found your zipper and inched it down slowly.

“I could help you with both of those things, doll,” he whispered into your ear. And to think, all of this started with petty revenge!

“Eva, what’s the nearest property I own?” you asked huskily. The lust reflected in her eyes through the mirror wasn’t lost on you.

“8th Street, Ms. Jax.”

“Make haste, beautiful.”

“As you wish, Ms. Jax.

Bucky was driving you insane. Bucky was driving himself insane. His flesh fingers ghosted over your aching cunt, torturing you endlessly. His teeth in your skin made your head spin. Reaching up, you grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back. He groaned loudly in pleasure.

“Don’t tease me, Barnes. Either give me what I want or don’t bother, got it?” you snarled.

“Yes, Miss,” he practically whimpered. The steel in your voice and impressive grip on his hair set his blood pumping. He wondered just how far he could push you before you punished him for it. He was half desperate to find out. You kissed him roughly and shoved his hand back into your crotch. His fingers made quick work of pushing your body suit aside and sinking inside your soaked and needy cunt. You hissed loudly in pleasure.

“That’s it Barnes. You’re such a good boy for me,” you purred. His answering moan alerted you to his praise kink. Oh, you could do so much with this.

“You like being called a ‘good boy’ don’t you Barnes?” He didn’t answer. Now was a terrible time to suddenly remember you weren’t alone in the car. You gripped his hair tighter and forced him to meet your gaze. “Answer me, James.” 

“Fuck, yes! I like so much.” You smirked impishly. A small whimper from the front seat reminded you of the petite Latina currently struggling to focus on the road. This night had suddenly turned into something filthily wonderful.

“How much longer, Eva?”

“Ten minutes, Ms. Jax.”

“Perfect.” Turning your attention back to a painfully horny Bucky, you came up with an idea.

“Here’s the deal, Barnes. You make me cum in the next ten minutes and I’ll show you what being pansexual is all about with the lovely Eva up there. You take longer than ten minutes and poor little Eva gets left to her own devices. You wouldn’t want leave the deprived darling to solve her little problem all alone would you?” you taunted. Bucky’s eyes grew impossibly large. He bit his lip in a vain effort to suppress another obscene noise.

“No, Miss.”

“Get to—oh!”

Bucky had never been one to back down from a challenge. He and Steve were alarmingly alike that way. The promise of getting to pleasure the beautiful girl sitting in the front seat whimpering softly if he held up his end of the bargain was more motivation than he needed. Scissoring his fingers inside you, he watched as your head lolled back into the headrest in pleasure. Your noises were pure music to him. He felt your grip on his hair loosen and used the opportunity to sink his teeth into your neck. He might like you being in control, but he’d be damned if he couldn’t let the world know who you belonged to.  

Eva was finding it nearly impossible to focus on driving safely. Between your moans and Bucky’s grunts of exertion, she’d soaked her panties completely through. The entirety of the car smelled like your sex and Eva had never smelled anything more delectable. Sweet and tangy, your scent permeated her nose. As subtly as she could, Eva snuck a hand under her skirt in a desperate attempt to find some much need relief. Your eyes missed nothing.

“Oh, Eva. My beautiful darling…just—ugh fuck Bucky just like that—what the hell do you think you’re doing?” you half snarled. Eva’s eyes widened in the mirror. She couldn’t believe you noticed!

“I need—I—. Nothing, Ms. Jax. I’m so sorry Ms. Jax.” she said. Removing her fingers from her throbbing cunt was excruciating. She was so thankful the drive would only take five minutes longer.  Your eyes lit up dangerously; you could hear the poor girl’s thoughts practically screaming to pull the car over and beg you and Bucky to fuck her into oblivion. You made it a point never to listen in to people’s thoughts without permission or off mission but Eva didn’t seem to know her mental shield had completely abandoned her.

Bucky was growing frustrated at your absurdly strong resistance to his insane finger skills. You found his determination completely refreshing. Any other woman would be a puddle in his hands at this point but your stubbornness was a force to be reckoned with. He curled his fingers briefly and you twitched harshly in response. Ahh, there it is, he thought. Pressing the pad of his thumb to your clit, he circled his index and middle fingers over your internal button. You cried out and yanked his hair roughly in pleasure. For the first time, someone had discovered your kryptonite without even being told where to look. 

“F u c k! James!” you wailed under his assault on your body. A whine left his throat at hearing his birth name tumbling from your lips. Eva’s own whine mimicked his. In the back of your mind, you reckoned you’d have your hands full with these two

“Please cum, Miss. Please,” he pled, “I wanna make you feel so good. I wanna be a good boy for you, Miss.” Goddamn this beautiful bastard.

Eva turned down a familiar street. You could see your pristine white manor coming into view. Bucky noted your eyes widening in recognition and felt his stomach lurch. He was going to let you down. In a final attempt to break your resolve, he curled his fingers harshly into you and rubbed harder on your clit. You couldn’t hold out any longer; you erupted. You released Bucky’s hair and sank your teeth into his neck in a poor attempt to muffle your scream. Eva pulled into your impressive driveway with just enough time to watch you convulse around Bucky’s sinful fingers. She felt her own orgasm rip through her as she tried her best to stifle herself. Even in your state of heightened bliss, you missed nothing.

“Well, my darling boy, it looks like you gained two orgasms for the price of one. Maybe Eva didn’t need to join after all,” you purred against his skin. Bucky looked at Eva in confusion until he noticed her chest heaving in exhaustion and a small puddle that formed on the leather of her seat. He smirked devilishly

“I don’t know, Miss,” he said, “no one gave her permission to cum. It looks more like she needs to be punished.” Lifting your head from his shoulder, you quirked your eyebrow at them. Eagerness rolled off their bodies in waves. 

You hadn’t been this giddy in a years.

End P1

NEXT CHAPTER

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[softly-speaking-valkyrie]

Want To Know What Bad Mental Health Looks Like For Bisexual People?

You wanna know what it is to live with people who don’t see your sexuality as real?

You wanna know what it is to live with people who think you settled for being ‘straight’ when you date someone who looks the opposite gender?

You wanna know what how bad it is when those people are your parents?

Alright then, buckeroo, I’ll fucking tell ya. And when I’m finished, and you’ve read this, don’t ever fucking think that bisexual people don’t suffer another layer of discrimination and ridiculous trauma that the other queers don’t have to suffer. 

I’m a pre-transition transgender woman who is bisexual (has known for 6 years) and is currently dating a pre-op transgender man. 

So to the outside uninformed world, I look like a dude just dating his girlfriend. And in case you need clarification, I’m not.

In the summer of 2017 after splitting up with my previous ex-girlfriend and following the worst argument with my drunken mother and father (back when they both used to drink) I came out to both of them as a bisexual, after confiding in both my grandparents who were incredibly more accepting than both of them combined. 

My parents were both, and still are both, typical conservative and right-wing thinking people who make homophobic remarks at times, don’t really ‘agree’ with people being transgender and transitioning, and have never been accepting of queer people in general. Yes, I still told them, still came out and tried to explain everything. They’re the kind of people who would say they can’t be homophobic because their friend is gay. But nevertheless, I told them I was bisexual.

Immediately my mother announced her views that bisexuality was not a thing at all, that I was going through a phase of thinking I still liked girls and that I was secretly gay and would eventually come out as gay (remember, they don’t know I’m trans, and I can never tell them following this) and date men exclusively. I told them I had slept with a man before getting with my ex (at the time) and that I still liked men equivalently to women. My mum still was not having anything of what I was saying. It was still a phase, or I was confused, or the typical bullshit ignorant fuckery parents and assholes spout because they’re too fucking stupid to listen to the people who are talking about it. No, she was right and I was wrong. Soon, I’d realise I was straight and it was a phase, or I would realise it was gay. 

The next thing she said was that no matter what I shouldn’t be telling anyone else about it, because it would then spread around the whole area we live in and everyone would be talking about them and how they had a gay son. 

Yeah, you read that right. My mum was purely, exclusively and only concerned with how this was going to affect her and her precious family dynamic. On that note of ‘family’ - my Dad had cheated on her sloppily and she forgave him and took him back, they’re raising my currently 7-year-old brother to be just like they are, they hate everyone around the area, don’t go out and neither currently speak to either of their parents. So, y’know *Vin Deisel’s voice* ‘Family’.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what my Dad thought on the subject of my being bisexual, he didn’t have an opinion. And given that he spends all day working or playing stupid mobile games that aren’t Pokemon GO, had cheated on my Mum when said brother was only 3, and is an all-around baby boomer ape, I saw that as a positive. 

But I digress. 

Skip forward to this time last year, late June of 2018, and I reconnected with an old friend who is my current partner (the transman I mentioned at the beginning), and we fairly quickly got together. My mum was really happy, like really happy, because she’d seen my previous two exes and how fucking maniacal and psychotic they both were and deemed this new ‘girlfriend’ as a good influence on me. We hadn’t really talked about me being bisexual at all in the year that had passed, and I’d never brought a man home because of course I fucking couldn’t, but I’d just been the same me as always. So when I brought ‘her’ home, my mum must have... you guessed it - “Oh yes! He’s straight!” Because remember, adults know fucking everything and if you haven’t brought a member of the same sex home to meet the family even though they don’t want you to, then goddamn it, you’re as straight as a ruler buckeroo. 

So now we’ll skip ahead to say this year, 2019, and I’ve been slowly trying to influence the family into being more accepting of other people, other cultures, and other identities. I’m being a little harsh about it because, I’m a sarcastic fuck and cannot stand ignorance, which is really ironic when both parents think I’m ignorant myself. They really like that word ‘ignorant’, which makes this cautionary tale down-right Oscar worthy. Anyway; I have a rainbow flag in my room at this point, which my Mum also put away/tried to hide from me at one point. Not only that but I have a bisexual flag pin, a rainbow flag Valkyrie pin, and a rainbow Royal Post Box pin all on my leather jacket (because being futch is beautiful) and as well as that I have rainbow suspenders. It’s pretty obvious as well from my room and all that I do, that I’m a feminist and I really really really love and cherish women. I’ve dropped hints about queer culture as well over that year gap, but my Mum is starting to get really annoyed at how ‘progressive’ I’m being around the house. She’s taking offence to how much I’m championing women’s rights, queer’s rights and people of colour’s rights, especially when we both watch The View and talk about all the horrible injustices happening in America and around the world on marginalised people. 

Then, she starts to watch Gentleman Jack (and I’m actually embarrassed to say she’s watched it all and I haven’t even started because I’ve been writing my book lately), which really fucking surprised me given at how sapphic it is. 

And then we get to today’s football match of the Women’s World Cup. England vs Cameroon and I had watched most of the game at work but got home as the second half came to a close. And here’s where you’ll find out just who my mother is. 

Mother: Look at the ref, he can’t even keep them under control! Me: Mum, she’s a woman. You can’t have a male referee in a women’s football game. Mother: What? Look at it! It’s got no tits, it’s a man! Me: Have you seen what a sports bra is? Mum, you can’t have a male ref for a women’s game! It wouldn’t be right! Mother: Well the managers are men! Seriously, look at it! Look at it! It’s a man! Its got no tits and look at its face! It’s a man!

A small loud-voiced debate ensues because my little brother starts copying my Mum and claims the referee is a man or a male. I keep saying she’s a woman, because not only is she that just by looking at her, the goddamn announcers said she was. Moreover, I was just trying to correct my Mum from using ‘it’ as a way to describe a person. I even told her outright you shouldn’t use ‘it’ when talking about a person or someone you don’t know. 

Having none of it, my mother kicked off louder than a steam engine at me. After about a minute of me and Dad talking about how good the match was to watch and how Women’s Football is amazing to see, my Mum starts to hurl abuse at me and points the finger, even so far as I was fearful to get beaten. And I have been before, even at 22. But this is not me saying I get routinely beaten, nor am I saying that my experiences are the worst kind and that I suffer more than any other queer. That is not what I’m saying nor insinuating. I’m only telling you what I get and why other queers might not get this verbal and emotional abuse for the same reasons, and here’s why. 

Mother: I am sick of you fucking having a go at me for all the gay shit! You’re not the only one who supports the gays! You’re not the only one! No one is allowed to have an opinion around you are they! Not when it comes to this gay shit are they? Fuck off! You’re horrible! You’re a horrible little fucker just because you support the gays! Well you’re not the only one! You think you fucking know me! Yeah well you don’t know me as well as you fucking think you do!

For the record, once again. I came out in 2017 as bisexual, and my Mum thought it was a phase and that I was confused. 

And some more disclaimers - this isn’t the only case of this shit, and there’s worse that I don’t want to put in here. I’m only writing this because it literally just happened. But this is why queers of other sexualities might not get this. Ace people and pan people would get this too, and we can all attest to the fucking fury and hurt it instills. 

Even after coming out, I’m still considered straight. 

EVEN AFTER COMING OUT, I’M STILL CONSIDERED TO BE STRAIGHT.

And not only that, I’m fucking punished for not acting straight. Even after coming out, and affirming for two years that I’m not, I’m still considered straight and punished and seen as lesser for not acting it. What the fuck?

And yeah, I realise now just how stupid it is writing this, but adults are fucking horrible and this is what it’s like. 

I actually wish these people were not my parents and were just dead. It would be easier. Or maybe if I was just dead it would be easier for the world as a whole? Can’t even tell anymore. 

Who cares? No one cares. Sorry for making this. But this is what shitty mental health looks like. 

I fucking hate this world.