#there are also clear preferences for what kind of puzzle someone likes

[bolcseszgoblin]

would be a couple days with a couple of friends

[eliasorchard]

Hey Vin, what’s up?

I hope that you are doing well. Anyway I wanted to share an idea that got into my head.

Imagine a situation where William somehow ends up in the modern times and meeting you. And like, you introduce him to everything in our times and at some point you end up introducing him to video games (mostly because he caught you playing a video game and ended up getting curious about what that is, lol)

But anyway, I found the idea of introducing him to video games and teaching him about how to play them and even letting him try to play really adorable.

Now, I don’t really see him as someone who would be much of a gamer but I do see him play video games from time to time. I see him being more into board games to be honest.

Ah btw, this isn’t a request (which you definitely can tell I guess. But I thought it would still be good to make it clear.) I just thought I could share my idea cause I found it really cute

Anyway, have nice day/night ✨

AUDJDJ i'm sorry that this is rather later, i was planning on answering it but i forgot. anyway, i can imagine the culture shock he'd experience. but he's someone that can adapt to situations, that's practically all he's done throughout his life 🗣️ you have a great mind

one day, william notices you engrossed in something. something fast paced, or a story driven game with deep strategy? (idk, whatever type of game you like playing) either way, his curiosity would get the better of him.

william's interest piqued when he heard the clicking of the controller in your hands. he silently approaches, standing close behind you, breath warm against your neck as he leans in —ncasting a shadow over your screen.

"what is this?" william asks, voice low. you can feel him studying not just the game, but also you.

ever the observant mind.

"it's a video game," you try to explain. "you can control characters, go on adventures, solve puzzles... people play them for fun." it'd take some time explaining how a glowing screen could take you on adventures and whatnot.

he'd watch you curiously, like a child mesmerized when going to an aquarium for the first time. it's new to him.

"fascinating," he whispers softly. "may i try?"

as you hand him the controller, your fingers brush against his in the exchange and you watch as he attempts to navigate the game. william's deliberate — calculating in his every move, but there’s something endearing in his concentration. he's so bewitched by it, trying to take all of the information in, flinching when a jump scare appears.

it's cute.

"i'm not sure this is my kind of challenge," he admits after a while, lips curving into a small smile. he places the controller aside, turning to face you. and his gaze softens.

“but i can see why you enjoy it, (name). i, however, prefer strategy with a bit more… direct engagement. perhaps a more traditional game would suit me better," he continues. "chess, for instance. do you still have that in this time?"

"yes, they're on here, too." you nod, tapping the screen. "but i could always pull out the board game from my.." you trail off. "i think i kept it in the closet? i can try finding it."

"really?" william blinks. he's surprised. perhaps it's because so many things have changed, but he's not sure why he thought chess was no longer available during this time. "oh, no, please. i wouldn't want to bother you. we could try the...'video game' version of chess, as you call it."

"i could teach you." unable to help yourself, you smile. there's a childish excitement in him that you're finding adorable. "… or challenge you.”

william's smile changes to something deeper, and there’s a flicker of something more in his eyes, "a challenge, then."

no matter how much time has passed, william is still, at his core, the same william. though he sometimes struggles to adapt quickly to the modern world we live in due to the drastic changes, his sharp mind remains as keen as ever.

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Finn, James(/Holden); private number

For the prompt: Please, we need Finn’s POV of James and Holden!

This is 99% a loving but honest treatise about Finn's Bestest Friend, because Finn Schneider, everybody.

James has always been someone who keeps things close to the vest. Some of their teammates have referred to James as secretive, and every time Finn’s overheard them he’s corrected them.

Private, he says. James is private.

But honestly, Finn doesn’t actually disagree with them.

James is private, Finn means that, but it isn’t just privacy. Privacy is a preference. Secrecy is something else. Finn doesn’t know how to explain the difference, but he thinks most people would agree there is one, and most people who’ve met James would agree that James is the latter.

Finn is private. James is something else entirely.

Finn had known James for almost a year before he learned he had a brother. Even though James had met all his siblings by that point, Finn had only heard about Chelsea, and he probably only knew about her because, besides his parents, she was the only person who ever called James. Or, Finn supposes, not necessarily the only ones who called, but they were the only ones whose calls James actually picked up.

It took Finn five years, give or take, before he knew, really knew, that James was gay, and even then, it wasn’t because James told him. And maybe he isn’t gay, maybe he’d prefer Finn use another word entirely, but it’s not like Finn can ask him, considering if James does know Finn’s aware, he’s doing a very good job of pretending not to. Or maybe he’s just trying not to think about it. He does that sometimes.

Five years. Finn’s not saying that he didn’t suspect before that, but —

He doesn’t like that word, ‘suspect’. It makes it sound like James has done something unethical, illegal. Or alternately, that Finn spends all his time gathering intel about people, putting together data like pieces of a puzzle — adding up a glance, an awkward pause, a smirk, forming a clear picture out of signals that most people don’t even know they’ve been making.

Maybe the second one’s a little too close to the truth for his liking. It’s not that he does it on purpose, exactly — he doesn’t want to be nosy, or overstep, and he thinks he mostly manages to avoid that.

But he can’t keep his brain from cataloguing all those pieces of information, can’t keep it from noticing which ones might fit together, even if he never confronts someone with the information, never mentions it to anyone else, never lets it change the way he treats them.

Giving someone clues, often unknowingly, isn’t the same as telling them something, and in his experience, people don’t appreciate you knowing things they haven’t told you. They certainly don’t like knowing you can predict their behaviour — people really hate thinking they're predictable — so Finn’s learned to keep his mouth shut, let them think that they aren’t.

But he still knows all those things about them. He can't help that.

Five years, it took. At least four of them as James’ best friend. Because that's what he is, he knows that even though James doesn't say it. He’s the only person James can still tolerate by the end of a long road trip, the first person James would call if he needed a hand, an ear, a guide. On most things, at least, and he’s thankful James can go to his sister or his mom for all the stuff Finn's just as hopeless with. The first person James would call in an emergency — after 911, obviously, if it was that kind.

It’s not like that doesn’t go both ways — he’s Finn’s best friend too. Finn probably wouldn’t call him in an emergency, but that’s because James usually has his phone on silent, and he probably wouldn’t pick up. Also, Finn loves him, but with the exception of a couple very specific scenarios Finn can see James being extremely helpful for, most of them hockey related, his particular skillset doesn’t exactly match the ones needed during most emergencies.

Finn had a flat last month. Not a real emergency, honestly, but close enough for the purposes of illustration. The first call he made was to AAA, and the second one was to Georgie, who lived nearby, and came to pick him up so he didn’t have to catch a ride with the tow truck.

If Georgie hadn’t answered Finn probably would have called Logan, though he’s almost as bad at picking up as James is, then maybe Greg, who also lived around there, or his right-side neighbours, who are the genuinely neighbourly kind, and wouldn’t be going out of their way on the ride back home, at least.

He texted James while he waited for G, though. James replied three hours later with You have AAA right?

Finn doesn’t mean to make James sound like a bad friend, because he isn’t one. He’s kind, and hard-working, and brilliant about the game. He has high standards, but he holds himself to even higher ones. He can miss the obvious sometimes, but he's uncannily observant about other things — he probably knows more about Finn's preferences than he does, and notices before anyone, even the coaching staff, what isn't working with a drill.

He makes Finn laugh too — sometimes it's unintentional, but it usually isn't. James is funny, though Finn knows nobody believes him, because James doesn't tell jokes, he mumbles them, and he only does it with a few select people, Finn luckily among them. And the comments he mutters to Finn under his breath are usually snarky enough to make Finn struggle to keep a straight face, things that Finn would never say, or even mutter, but does sometimes find himself thinking.

And he’s — he’s comfortable. Or more, Finn’s comfortable around him, the way he hasn’t felt with anyone but family before, not even G.

Around James, everything is just a little bit easier. It’s easier to step up, easier to speak out, easier to know what to do, to trust the decisions he makes.

It probably helps that James always looks like Finn’s saved his ass by ordering his drink while he’s in the bathroom, grabbing him OJ across the street because the hotel ran out and James isn’t nearly awake enough yet to go himself, checking in after James notices a call-up has been putting it back after games. Like Finn’s some kind of really boring superhero. Super Schneids, saving the day one glass of orange juice and possible intervention at a time.

Finn didn’t tell James, because it wouldn’t have helped anything, but he wasn’t any more enthusiastic about Holden joining the team than James was. It’s taken years for their team to grow up, grow closer, for the room to gel. It's their team — all of theirs, of course, but it’s James' and Finn’s and G’s. Like some sort of Charlie’s Angels, where G’s got the good looks and charm, James is the strategic genius, and Finn’s — well, Finn knows how to talk to people.

Adding anyone to the room can change the dynamic, no matter who they are, and Holden Chase wasn’t just anyone. He had a history with half the roster, some of it pretty ugly, and James didn’t hide the fact he detested him. Detested him a way Finn hadn’t seen him act with any other opponent before, though James has nursed more than a few quiet vendettas, ones Finn’s probably the only one aware of, because, well, James is private. But everybody on the roster knew how he felt about Holden Chase well before he got here.

It makes Finn wonder if this was something — inevitable, maybe. That line about a thin line between love and hate. James doesn’t pay much attention to anyone unless they impress him, but he paid a lot of attention to Holden, even as he claimed he wasn’t impressed at all.

Inevitable, though Finn doesn’t know what started it, can’t quite peg the moment, though he bets it wasn't when James was clenching his jaw the second Chaser walked in the room, certainly after he lost his composure in practice for only the second time Finn’s ever seen, and more...spectacularly than anyone would have expected, Finn included, and Finn’s pretty sure he knows James better than anyone.

But still not well enough, apparently. Not well enough to know what changed, or more, how it did — when it was, who made the first move — though he assumes it had to have been Holden. He knows James at least that well.

But he doesn't know exactly what it is, or more, how James would describe it. Beyond ‘someone special’, at least, though those are the words from Finn’s mom, not him, he just acknowledged there was someone. The first time he said it, Finn assumes to anyone.

A confession he followed up with an uncomfortable, roundabout series of questions that Finn was pretty sure boiled down to ‘do you know it’s Chase? Please don’t actually confirm that, I’ve already dealt with enough tonight’, judging by his visible relief when the subject was dropped. Right before he lit up at the suggestion of going to meet up with the team, even though a year ago he would have made a face at Finn for the question, like ‘obviously not, who do you think I am?’.

But then, a year ago, Finn wouldn’t have asked him that question, because he does know James. Not perfectly, or even as well as he wants to, because James shrinks back from interest like a turtle hiding in its shell, but as well as James allows.

And, as well as he knows James, he still finds it all a little — inexplicable, maybe. Or not, maybe it isn’t, but nobody’s explaining it, certainly not to him. But Finn keeps his mouth shut, keeps his eyes forward, the first rules of the locker room, probably even more important than ‘don’t suck’. If James wants to explain it, Finn’s happy to listen, but in the meantime, he picks up the pieces, fits them together the best he can, and hopes like hell this all won’t blow up.

[heartofbusan]

My advice to JJK

Trying to describe Jeon Jungkook is like trying to grab sunlight. It's intagible, unattainable yet ever present. Slipping through your fingers while warming you up. He might actually be so EXTREMELY simple to figure out that people get lost, expecting a greater mystery. How do you solve a problem like Jungkook?

It requires patience.

His true character will reveal itself if you take the time to listen and observe instead of wanting him to fulfill your expectations of him.

He's very much of his time. He's willing to be vulnerable when most people would prefer to hide behind a facade of calm, cool, and collected. He's someone who has put his heart out there for us to see. Not just for us, but for himself, because he prioritises honesty and authenticity. He's not into bapid or superficial. He's actually not that deep. He's sensitive and a deep thinker, but hes not someone who needs words to express his feelings because his feelings are just there for tue taking. He's been showing and telling us who he is, yet people are unwilling to listen. Isn't that kind of tragic?

It's no surprise that he likes to work with non-verbal art mediums. Using words in a superficial way, mostly constructing a puzzle through layering rather than through concepts. He's got a great eye for color and timing, rhythm, and he loves humor that can handle a dark turn! That might be the most mysterious thing about him, his love for drama and his playful side. Pretending to be a different character, shed his mask by donning a far more 'interesting' one. Because he's that simple. He either likes something or he doesn't. His belly is connected to his heart. His gut is his guide. Never falter. It will always lead me home. If it feels good, if I trust it, then It can't be wrong.

Yet words like Simple. Easy. Clear. Those sound too plain for a man like Jungkook, who is kindhearted, grounded, and precise. He lives in the now.

I hope age brings him closer to expressing himself through words. I'd really love to see him try to articulate his brain. It is a worthy challenge, but one he need only take for his own satisfaction. I'm glad that, at times, he seems less harsh or self-critical than he used to be. That is also a working of time and age.

On his birthday, I hope he feels a sense of satisfaction on a day well lived. It's that simple joy that might bring him a sense of peace. And of course, knowing that he has a person in this life who can handle him just fine. That, too. Mostly that. Because that person SEES HIM. And isn't that what life is all about? A person who accepts you for who you are, not who they need you to be for them. That is a person worth fighting for.

[lurkingshan]

I've been in multiple tumblr fandoms over the years and the same shit comes up over and over again wrt arguments about how we all engage with our chosen media on here, so here are a few things to keep in mind that have helped me along the way:

Not everyone is going to engage in the same way as you, and that's good, actually. Some people are purely here to gush over the things they like. Some people are here to do deep analytical breakdowns which will include criticism. Some people are cheerleaders. Some people are haters. A lot of people are a mix of both depending on what they're talking about on any given day. It's all good and valid, and it's what gives this space variety, allows us to learn from each other, and keeps it interesting.

The filter, unfollow, and block functions are your friend. If you love a mutual but hate the volume or the way they talk about a certain thing, just add it to your filtered tags (relatedly: tag your shit so people can filter you when needed!). If you consistently don't vibe with the way a person chooses to engage on here, just unfollow them. If you find them actively offensive or detrimental to your mental health, hit that block button, baby. We are all anonymous internet strangers and no one will die.

Someone expressing a different opinion from yours is not a personal attack on you. If someone hates a thing you like, they are not calling you stupid for liking it. If they love a thing you hate, there's nothing wrong with them, they are just taking something different from it than you are. That shit is all about you and your own insecurities, don't try to put it on them.

Vague posting is rude. If you want to directly respond to something someone said to get better clarity about what they meant, reply to their post or shoot them an ask or DM and talk to them about it. If you simply want to express a counterpoint without directly engaging them, just post your own take without vaguely alluding to them and building what is almost certainly a strawman of their original point. People you're vaguing can see you on here, folks. Don't be a dick.

Credit and reblog other people's ideas when you are building on them, and be kind to the creators who provide the artwork that make this place so special and unique. Reblogging is the lifeblood of this website. It's the only way people get to see content that is by anyone they don't follow, and the gifmakers on here in particular put in so much time and effort to give us beautiful images--share their work and tell them you appreciate it! You also don't have to agree with every single word of a meta post to reblog it (why would you expect to, it comes from a different brain than yours), and you absolutely should be crediting people and sharing their words when they sparked something that inspired your own thoughts. This is just being a good community member.

Embrace the difference between meta and fanwanking. Meta writing is analysis of the actual media content as it is presented, with arguments based in the canon text. Fanwanking is doing your own work to fill in gaps or create headcanons to supplement the canon text. Some people prefer content that leaves a lot of gaps because they love to creatively fanwank; some people prefer to be told complete stories without having to do all that extra work to make them make sense. These are both very cool and fun ways to engage, but when you're fanwanking be aware that those ideas are all coming from you, not the actual media being discussed, so others might not vibe with your interpretation.

When posting your own opinions, try to be clear about where you're coming from and why. If you have a personal experience or bias that is affecting your read, own it. If you're looking at a piece of media from a specific angle related to your own interests and learning, say that. It helps other people to know where you're coming from and why you're thinking about something in a certain way that can then help them puzzle out why they feel differently.

You don't owe anyone your presence here, and you don't have to express opinions on everything or respond to tags or asks if you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you might just want to take a break from posting, some things in the discourse might just flow right on by you, sometimes you will not have a firm opinion on a debate. You can post as much or as little as you want. You can suddenly decide you don't want to talk about a show anymore. You can not log into your tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Do you, boo!

Most people come to tumblr because they do want to engage with others, and this place can be a lot of fun if you just take what you need from it and let things that aren't serving you go.

[xomaleyaxo]

Stolen Hearts → Blackpink 5th Member

Synopsis: As time passes and their hearts are forever stolen, they’re drawn deeper into an unbreakable love.

Part 2 to Stolen Glances

Wc: 2.3k

They say you have three loves in your life: the first love, which is intense and exciting, full of passion and youthful energy; the second love, which teaches you about heartbreak and the complexities of relationships; and the third love, which arrives unexpectedly, steady and enduring, and is said to be your true, lasting love. For Mirae, Mingyu was her third love, and everything she had heard about this kind of love was starting to ring true.

With Mingyu around, life seemed brighter, as if she had spent years in the shadows and now the sun had finally broken through. He was the kind of man she had been waiting for her entire life, someone she felt her father, if he were still here, would have loved for her. Deep down, she believed he was watching over her and had sent Mingyu her way. He was almost too good to be true, yet here he was, making her world feel complete.

Mirae had always longed for someone like her father, a kind soul, a musician, someone who gave everything for the people he loved. In Mingyu, she saw all those traits. She admired how he could connect with anyone instantly, forming a sense of comfort effortlessly. He was the kind of person who made everything better just by being there.

Initially, Mirae felt so different from him, her introverted nature clashing with his extroverted energy. However, over time, Mingyu’s openness began to rub off on her. He helped her break out of her shell and see life in a new light, while she grounded him, showing him the beauty of quiet, intimate moments. It felt as though they were puzzle pieces finally coming together, perfectly fitting for the first time.

Despite their differences, their similarities deepened their understanding of each other. Both had spent their youth chasing dreams, and now they were living them. They understood the devotion required to achieve their goals and how to support each other through their demanding careers. They knew when to prioritize their groups and fans but also when to remind each other to take a break and relax, finding balance in both their work and relationship.

As they spent more time together, Mirae realized she had never felt such ease before. It was as if they had been together for years, even though it had only been a short time. Mingyu saw her, truly saw her. Normally, this might have frightened her, but instead, he embraced every flaw and imperfection. He never made her feel like there was anything wrong with her, which made her feel validated.

Despite her efforts to seek help, Mirae carried a lot of baggage. These issues affected her daily life, accompanied by a nagging voice that told her no one deserved to deal with her struggles. She preferred to write out her feelings and leave them behind, a habit that negatively impacted her relationships since she struggled to express her emotions directly. Though she was working on it, Mingyu’s open expression of his feelings made her worry about her own inability to do the same.

Being an idol, she had an unrelenting drive for perfection. She pushed herself hard, always striving to meet impossible standards, as if achieving excellence could somehow make up for the absence of her father. The immense pressure she placed on herself stemmed from a desire to make him proud and live up to an ideal she had constructed.

She hated being vulnerable and crying in front of others, yet she was someone who cried easily, whether it was from seeing someone else in distress, frustration, or being yelled at. Her mind urged her to maintain a tough exterior, but her heart remained vulnerable, causing her eyes to betray her emotions.

One night after a cozy café date, she opened up to Mingyu about her fears and insecurities. He listened silently, deeply understanding the weight of what she was revealing. It was clear that opening up was a challenge for her, but he felt a profound sense of gratitude that she was willing to be vulnerable with him.

Mingyu didn’t care about her flaws; in fact, her imperfections only made him like her more. To him, her struggles were not obstacles but parts of her that he wanted to embrace completely. He was determined to support her through them, and when he conveyed this to her, it brought her a deep sense of safety and the realization that he was the one who could truly make her feel safe.

As summer was ending, their relationship grew serious very rapidly. Mirae, usually cautious about moving too quickly, felt herself drawing closer to the idea of love with Mingyu.

Their first kiss happened after their fourth date, inside his car as he dropped her off. The dim lighting, soft music from the radio, and the lingering warmth of their date created the perfect setting. As they sat there, sad their evening was ending, Mingyu leaned in slowly, his gaze locked with hers, asking a silent question. Mirae gave a gentle nod, and they shared a soft, sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, both were blushing, their smiles widening as they made eye contact and said goodbye. Mirae hadn’t expected to feel like a blushing teenager again, but the kiss with Mingyu reminded her of the excitement and giddiness of kissing someone for the first time. It was a small kiss, yet it left her yearning for more. As the days passed, they grew more comfortable with each other, and soon, they were in a committed relationship.

The changes in Mirae were noticeable to those closest to her. She seemed happier and brighter, a stark contrast to her past relationships where she kept everything private. Mingyu was different. She couldn’t stop talking about him, whether it was a sweet gesture he made or a funny moment they shared. He was a constant presence in her mind and conversations. Her friends and family often teased her about it, but they were genuinely happy for her. It was clear to everyone that she was smitten, and it was a rare and wonderful sight.

Mingyu was equally smitten, and his members playfully teased him about it. They’d play Blackpink songs, dance along, and sing her parts, which always made him blush and smile. He was thrilled to be with her after admiring her from afar for so long. Now that she was his, he took every opportunity to brag about her and praise her. While his members sometimes found his constant adoration a bit much, they were mainly just happy to see him so content.

Mirae wasn’t sure when she realized she loved Mingyu; it just happened naturally. She never pinpointed the exact moment, but somehow, she was the first to say “I love you.” One cozy night, she invited him over for dinner. As they sat quietly watching a movie, she felt an overwhelming sense of contentment and looked over at him.

He was gently petting her dog Luna, who had adored him from their very first meeting. Luna rested comfortably in his lap, while Mingyu’s arm stroked the dog, and his other arm was wrapped around Mirae’s waist, giving her soft circles.

Noticing her gaze, Mingyu looked back and smiled, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. She returned his smile and leaned in to kiss him softly, making him giggle.

“What's up?” he asked.

“Mhmmm, nothing,” she replied softly, leaning her head into his neck and letting it rest there.

“Now you have to tell me,” he said, giggling as he gently pulled her away so he could see her face.

“Mhm,” she whined, trying to nestle back into his neck to feel his warmth.

“Stoppp,” he said, softly grabbing her face with his hands. “Tell me.”

She looked up at him, and he leaned closer to her lips. “I love you,” she whispered.

Mingyu paused for a moment, his eyes widening before breaking into a grin. Luna, sensing the shift, hopped off his lap as he moved.

“You love me?” Mingyu asked, still holding her face with one hand and giggling.

She nodded, her cheeks puffing out as she waited for him to say it back.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Uh!” she said, playfully pushing his arm away and giggling as he grabbed her back, laughing.

“You didn’t say it back, wowww,” she said sarcastically, pretending to move his arms away and leave.

“I’m kidding,” he joked, pulling her close again.

As they settled down, she looked at him once more. He pushed her hair behind her ears and said, “I love you too,” before kissing her deeply.

After their first “I love you,” their lives sped up. Weeks turned into months, and despite their busy schedules, they made time for each other. Mingyu flew out to see her during her tour and supported her at Coachella. Mirae used her limited free days to visit him. Their efforts to stay connected despite their hectic lives demonstrated their commitment and reassured them both that their relationship was serious and worth every effort.

Their first anniversary fell on one of her concert days in Australia, and Mirae was saddened by their inability to celebrate together. Both were very busy, but Mingyu reassured her that they could celebrate another day. True to his word, they found a weekend when they were both free and spent it away in Paris, the city of love.

Their first actual vacation together was both extravagant and wonderful. Mingyu, being the romantic he is, ensured every detail was perfect, and his efforts made Mirae swoon. She didn’t care about the expense; she just wanted to be with him and relax. Yet, seeing him put in so much effort to make everything special made her feel truly loved.

The trip felt like a scene from a movie, a story she would one day share with her future children. They went sightseeing, explored various bars, and connected with locals. They slow-danced to street musicians at night, spent their days wrapped up in bed, and cherished every moment together.

As her tour came to an end and she returned to Korea, Mirae found herself increasingly immersed in Mingyu’s world. His members became her friends, and she enjoyed joining in on the playful teasing of Mingyu. Wonwoo, who lived with him, became a big brother figure to her. She often saw him during her visits, often cooking for him, and would invite him to join them for shows and games.

Mingyu also became more involved in Mirae’s life, growing close to her siblings and mother, as well as their significant others. She loved watching him laugh with her brother and sister and help her mother with cooking. His presence was refreshing, and her mother often praised him to Mirae, appreciating how he seamlessly fit into their family.

Their circles began to intertwine effortlessly, and both of them loved how seamless the transition had been. Her friends adored him, and his friends embraced her, all recognizing how well they complemented each other. It was clear to everyone around them that they were truly good for one another.

However, their growing closeness did not go unnoticed online. Observant fans and followers began to remark on how Mirae seemed particularly close with some of Mingyu's band members at various events. Speculation and curiosity about their interactions sparked discussions, with many wondering about the nature of their relationship.

Additionally, fans noticed how Mirae and Mingyu often wore similar clothing and posted similar styles, which fueled more speculation about their connection. While she tried not to let it bother her, the constant scrutiny and unfounded rumors occasionally made her resent her life as an idol.

At times, She longed for the freedom to stroll down the street with Mingyu without worrying about paparazzi. The only moments they could truly roam freely were when they were out of the country.

Though they loved each other deeply, the fear of their relationship being discovered loomed over them. She wished it didn’t have to be this way, but the reality was harsh, male idols who sought happiness and the women they chose to be with often faced judgment and scrutiny.

It wasn’t everyone, but even small rumors and fan ships had brought unwarranted hate her way in the past, simply for being close to someone. Despite her efforts to stay unaffected, seeing such negativity was disheartening. While she was content within her private bubble with Mingyu, the constant fear of their relationship being exposed weighed heavily on her.

Both of them worried about the potential exposure of their relationship, but they knew that if it ever came to that, they would never let others’ opinions force them to break up. They were deeply happy and in love, and they both had a strong sense that this was it, that they had found their forever person. Their hearts were irrevocably intertwined, and they knew they would never let go.

This was the love she had waited for, a love that had not only lifted her off her feet but had also left her heart soaring in a way she had never imagined. It was the kind of love that felt both exhilarating and comforting, the kind that made every moment with him feel like a dream come true. He was her forever boy, the one who had come into her life and made her believe in the magic of true love. With him, every day felt brighter, every challenge seemed manageable, and every moment was filled with a sense of deep, unshakeable happiness. This was the love she had always yearned for, and now that she had found it, she knew it was worth every wait, every tear, and every heartache she had ever experienced.

Mingyu was hers, and she was his. This was it. And she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for them together.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

If the M6 had any mental disabilities (OCD, Autism, ADHD...) What do you think they would have?

Brainrot's Arcana Essays: M6's mental health conditions

@hewwo-its-floof .... this probably isn't where your ask was heading, but here's an essay! XD I've actually been turning this concept over in my head for several months now, so you'll see what I could see each of them having but you'll also see why I haven't unpacked it much ^.^

(cropped because this is long and addresses each character)

I'm going to be totally honest and say that I'm extremely hesitant to focus on diagnosing fictional characters beyond lighthearted headcanons. From my own experience of having multiple diagnoses at different times, people and characters tend to be fairly complex in the way their nature, nurture, and mental health interact with each other. So while it's really fun and in many ways healing and validating to see our experiences and habits reflected in a loveable character, it's easy to fall into a trap of confining ourselves or a character to the diagnoses we're focusing on.

Asra, Julian, Muriel, and Lucio, for example, all have the kind of lived experiences that you could fully expect would result in CPTSD. Asra's parents disappeared while they were a young child and they experienced the extended trauma of growing up homeless on the streets. Muriel experienced that same abandonment and homelessness, and then that gets layered with his experience in the Coliseum. Julian has clear memories of the trauma of being shipwrecked, losing his parents, and trying to care for his sister as a young boy, plus the apprenticing he did as a teen treating soldiers on active battlefields. Lucio has a similar traumatic background with the amount of time he's spent in combat and the kill-or-be-killed world he grew up in. Portia doesn't have any memories before the grandmothers at Nevivon, but that doesn't erase her body's memory or the chances of second hand trauma from her closeness to her brother. Nadia didn't exactly have an easy childhood, but we aren't aware of any traumatic incidents before adulthood.

All that to say, there's multiple ways to interpret behavior that reflects a mental condition that doesn't match what's considered "normal." Asra can seem ADHD coded - we've seen them fixate on curious puzzles, completely zone out and forget what they're doing, and turn their living space into a cozy state of chaos. That looks a lot like ADHD! But, that could also be the trauma coping mechanisms of someone who likes to live with the luxury of having a space covered in their things without fear of them being removed, or focusing solely on things that make their brain happy in an unpredictable world. Or maybe Asra's just a naturally curious person who finds chaos comforting and spends a lot of time in their own head. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above feeding into each other in different ways!

The same goes for the other three - does Muriel like a more isolated lifestyle because of the trauma from crowds in the Coliseum? Does he like to keep his own heavily guarded space and set routines from living on the streets? Or are those autistic traits, seeking out a space that isn't overstimulating and doesn't require masking? How much of that is natural introversion and a general preference for calm, ordered spaces? He could be a combination of some or all of those things, but he's still himself regardless. If we were to focus on just one, we'd risk leaving the rest to fade into the background.

Julian has one of the stories in which MC plays a very direct role in addressing his mental health. He depends on them heavily to help him find new purpose and a new way to live. You could almost say that MC helps "fix" him, but this doesn't involve losing a lot of the things that make him so messy - it mostly involves helping him dial it back enough so that it's no longer unhealthy. (for example - he drinks as a coping mechanism, but the solution isn't for him to never touch alcohol again. he still drinks and has a fun time, it's his need to self-isolate and self-destruct that really needed to be addressed) He can still be loud and flamboyant and entertaining without having to pin his worth on how much validation he gets from it. Could those super high highs and low lows be signs of bipolar disorder? Maybe, but whether it is or not, Julian's wide range of emotional expression is core to who he is.

Lucio is his own special case (I mean, the story starts out with him as the villain). The plot of his route is his transformation. It could be easy to read narcissism into a lot of his behavior, and if that's a diagnosis his character was built around, it would make sense! It could also be easy to argue that his tendency to idolize himself is a response to growing up in a world where he had no control and felt constantly unsupported and ignored. But the focus isn't on bashing how he sees himself as much as it is on teaching him accountability around what he does with that. Lucio at the end of his story still has a sizeable ego, still sees himself as a protagonist, and has no qualms about being good enough for MC. However, he's gained experience acknowledging his own flaws and mistakes and it's enabled him to seek out a fresh start.

We could unpack Portia and Nadia too - is Portia's super competence and hard working nature born out of the pressure to be strong and steady for her traumatized older brother? Did that cause the hyper responsibility that kept her adventurous spirit in Nevivon way past her childhood? Does her annoyance with her older brother's struggles come out of frustration at never being able to process her own difficulties in favor of playing therapist for everyone else? Are her loudly cheerful attitude, tendency to fill her day with work, and love of escaping into books all masking techniques for chronic depression? Maybe all of that is true, but it's accompanied by a conscious decision to be optimistic and a genuine love of caring for other people.

We could speculate about the source of Nadia's insecurities for hours - what did her old dynamic with Lucio look like? Where did her hesitance to get involved and try to fix a broken system come from? What caused someone with such a focused personality to make firm decisions and express deep doubts at the same time? Does her quest for influence come from a desire to implement improvements or a need for control? Maybe her love of precision, good omens, and controlled environments are a result of OCD, or maybe she's just discovered what it's like to have her confidence shaken and this is what it looks like to move forward.

I've processed my own share of eating and mental disorders, dysphoria, neurodivergence, disability, and trauma. Some of my diagnoses only lasted several months, others took decades to work past, and a few of them I know will be with me for the rest of my life. They help explain a lot of how I function, experience the world, and interact with others as a person. But those conditions and experiences are only part of the amalgamation that makes me who I am, who I've been, and who I'm becoming. I don't care to completely define myself by certain parts when the sum of who I am is what's going to decide my story, and I like extending that mindset to the stories, people, and characters I interact with as well.

I hope that makes sense, and sorry for the unexpected essay!!

Cheers, friend -

brainrot

[lilmeowzsworld]

Fading Secrets

Chapter One

Cold Truth Revised

pairing: min yoongi x reader

summary: You wake up in an unfamiliar place with a man threatening your life for something your father did. But you know your father and you're certain he didn't do it. The man's son, Yoongi is the only one who shows you kindness and with his help, you decide to prove your father innocent.

content warnings: kidnapping, mention of death

a/n: Previously known as 'Cold Truth', this is the revised version. I hope it doesn't disappoint this time. Also I suck at summaries, so it is what it is lol

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When you opened your eyes, bright light enveloped your vision. Your head was killing you and there was an aftertaste of something funny smelling carved into your memory. You couldn't have drunk that much, could you? When your eyes adjusted to the outside world and you glanced around the surrounding area, your blood ran cold. While you believed that you weren't intoxicated enough to provoke anyone's anger at the club you were partying at with your friends the night before, the man currently sitting across from you was undoubtedly seething with anger.

The memories of the night before were hazy and like a puzzle, so you tried putting the pieces together to try and figure out how you were sitting in front of an unfamiliar man, seemingly in his mid-forties at least. You remember drinking with your friends, then informing them of your early departure back to your apartment. On your way back, someone had put a cloth with an old scent across your face until unconsciousness took over. And now, you woke up, with your hands bound behind the chair you were sat at, barefoot and in the dress from last night.

The silence was loud as the man stared at you, not even uttering a word. The chair you were sitting at was causing you discomfort, together with the headache that was already forming. The man's gaze bore into you, a disdainful expression etched on his face. You wondered if he looked at you with such disgust because of your appearance. You knew the dress was slightly shorter that you would have preferred usually, but it was your friend's birthday celebration and she insisted for you two to wear matching dresses, only in different color. The man staring at you in that moment wasn't the first one who was disgusted at the way younger generations were dressed today.

Maybe you would regret it, but you weren't the one to keep your mouth shut when you were nervous. „Okay, if no one is going to talk, I will, “ Your voice was hoarse so you had to take a second to clear your throat. „Who are you, and why am I here? It would be appreciated if you could untie me. I have no idea what you want from me and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to help you either no matter-"

A laugh echoed from somewhere behind you and you turned your head, looking over your shoulder to see a figure standing at the doorway. It was a boy your age, give or take a year or two. His hair was light and fell over his eyes. He wore a loose-fitting black T-shirt, complemented by faded blue jeans. A silver chain hung around his neck, and on his feet, he sported a pair of worn-in sneakers. He seemed quite laid-back and chill, for a guy who kidnapped you.

You could assume his voice was deep from the laugh you've heard, but you didn't have a chance to find out because the older man spoke. „Such a mouthful on an early morning,“ He laughed. „I'm Kim Taeyong, and that is my son, Yoongi,“ Shifting your head back as much as your body allowed, you caught another glimpse of the blonde boy. He leaned against a wall, arms folded across his chest and offered a subtle wave in acknowledgment. You rolled your eyes and redirected your attention back to his father. „You, sweetheart,“ Mr. Kim leaned forward, a luxury table presenting as the only barrier between you two. „Are here to pay for your father's mistake.“

It felt as if all the air was sucked out of your lungs at once, but you tried to control yourself and not show them that you were scared out of your mind. You had watched a lot of movies and it pays off for the main character to act confident. Maybe you would even be able to throw some punches and kicks like in the movies if you tried and then escape. But maybe you were being too confident even thinking of it. So, you opted to simply glare at the older man in front of you, despite the alcohol you consumed threatening to find its way back. „My father's mistake? What are you talking about? My father would never do anything wrong, he's innocent.“

Mr. Kim's eyes turned cold; it made you even more nervous. It was as if you could feel your body freezing just from his look. This was a dangerous man sitting in front of you. „Innocence is subjective, my dear. I'll enlighten you; I owe you that much. Your father ruined my life, destroyed the one thing I held dear the most. And now, I'll destroy everything he holds dear, starting with you.“

His words sent shivers down your spine and your lip quivered. Stay strong, Y/N! No matter how much you said those words to yourself, your mind decided not to listen. And you cursed whoever tied your hands behind your back, because you couldn't wipe away the tears that began falling from your eyes. Now they will know just how scared you were.

„You can't just blame someone else for your problems! Kidnapping me won't fix whatever issues you have with my father!“ You felt a surge of anger wash over you, and you were desperate. Although, if the movies thought you right, there was no compromising with people like Mr. Kim. „Just let me go, I won't tell anyone, I promise.“ You whined.

Mr. Kim leaned back in his chair. No matter what you said, his resolve was unyielding and the coldness in his eyes did not disappear. „Let you go? If only it were that simple,“ He stood, walking to your side of the table. Your body began shivering against your own will. Is he going to hurt you right now? To your relief, Mr. Kim sat on the edge of the table and stared down at you. „Your father must understand the consequences of his actions, and you're the perfect pawn in this little game.“

Your pleas for your life fell on deaf ears. The weight of the situation was suddenly too much to bear, it pressed down on you, cutting the air from your lungs. And silent tears still streamed down your face. You felt helpless, you were at mercy of a man thirsty for vengeance and there was nothing you could do to change his mind about hurting you.

What you didn't see, was the blonde boy, Yoongi, watching the conversation between you and his father with an unreadable expression. His father was ruthless, and Yoongi was the complete opposite, but he wouldn't go against his own father. As Mr. Kim spoke, Yoongi's eyes lingered on you, and for an instant, his facade cracked. He felt bad for you, especially since you were nothing but collateral damage in this whole situation. You were young and had your whole life ahead of you. You studied medicine and would become a doctor some day and save lives. And yet, here they were, about to take that away from you.

"Please," you begged, your voice breaking, "I don't want any part in whatever revenge you're seeking. I just want to go home. I won't say anything; I'll disappear, and you'll never have to see me again."

The room fell into a heavy silence, the only sound being your sniffles and the ominous ticking of a clock in the background. Mr. Kim finally spoke, his tone unwavering. "Disappearing won't bring back my dead wife. You're here to make sure your father understands that." Mr. Kim stood up again, and you flinched, thinking he would hurt you. But he walked past you, toward the door. „Yoongi, take our guest to a room for the night.“

Yoongi obeyed, approaching you. He untied your hands and the ropes fell away, allowing you a temporary feeling of relief. Yoongi didn't make eye contact with you as he grabbed you by your arm and led you out of the room. His touch was surprisingly gentle, which only confused you further. Shouldn't he be rough, pulling you by your hair or leading you on gunpoint? He led you through a corridor, down to another one with doors on each side. He opened the door on your right and ushered you inside.

The room you were brought to was surprisingly ordinary, contrast to the ominous atmosphere of the Kim manor. In one corner was a simple bed, neatly made and a small window with the curtains open, letting in rays of sunshine. On the other side, a work desk and a closet, made of fine wood with beautiful carved designs. Yoongi released your arm and turned to leave, but you stopped him before he could close the door.

„Please wait!“ To your surprise, he really did stop. However, he kept his back turned to you. „Can I, at least, have a change of clothes?“ He hesitated for a moment before he turned to you. He looked you up and down and the gesture made you want to crawl into a hole and never crawl back out.

„Fine,“ He mumbled and left, closing the door with a soft click, leaving you alone in the room. He didn't return for a few minutes and his absence made you question whether or not he was returning. You opted to sit on the bed and wait for his return, if he does. Lucky for you, the door opened again soon, and Yoongi returned with a bundle of clothes in his hands. He wordlessly tossed them onto the bed next to you. „There. Change and don't bother making a big deal. There is no one else in the house except for me right now,“ he said. Without waiting for your response, he turned to leave again, the door closing behind him. This time, you could hear the click of the lock, meaning that he locked you inside.

You sighed and decided to try and sleep off the hangover. Now that your life wasn't in any immediate danger, you were aware of the growing nausea and hoped that sleep would push it away. You put on the sweatpants and the dark, oversized t-shirt Yoongi had brought to you, with the addition of simple, black ankle socks. The clothing was for a male and it left you wondering who it belonged to. But you didn't want to tire your mind with questions like that for now. Covering your, previously freezing, body with the blanket, you fell asleep almost immediately. You needed to be in your best form if you were to escape anyway, so an hour or two of sleep wouldn't hurt.

[somniumfae]

😳😳😳 would you ever like to share more on mirday’s dynamic with the class.. i am very much a curious one

don’t have much new to share but i’ll do my best

mirday has been hard to cook mostly because sunday’s story is still incomplete and i find him difficult to write

mirror as a character is also passive by nature which prevents any real plot happening, since they outright refuse to involve themself and take an active role and are mostly woven into penacony’s story as an observer

but anyways. i can at least share what i have in mind even if it is stc

i think mirror travels around penacony looking for something interesting for a while (like all other memokeepers, she is not impressed by how plastic and bland the thoughts and memories of penacony residents can be) and ends up in dewlight pavilion, hidden and looking around until sunday forces them to reveal themself

their relationship and dynamic definitely start out abrasive and depending on how fucked up (see: horny) i am in the moment they either slowly shift to being wholesome or stay Weird

but since mirror is basically peeping into his business sunday doesn’t exactly show them his gentlemanly side, even if mirror makes clear that they mean no harm. i’m not sure how much influence sunday would have over a memetic entity like a memokeeper even as someone who can directly harness the harmony— if he can’t, then he just sort of has to deal with mirror following him around (they find him interesting. the color of his thoughts are placid and unassuming, but they can catch glimpses of trouble in paradise)

so sunday doesn’t feel very positively about mirror until he realizes or maybe twists their arm into being useful for him— potentially investigating around the dream, depending on the methods of his research into discovering the family’s traitor. mirror doesn’t like to involve themself actively within things but probably wouldn’t mind being an informant, provided he provides what they truly want (his memories)

mirror falls for him as they acquire more and more of his thoughts and memories, and begins to grow protective of him. they puzzle out his true goals and intentions but can’t find it in themselves to hate or even dislike him, and instead dedicate themselves to being his shadow— not his savior, perhaps not even his defender, but his witness at the very least

mirror in general also has somewhat of a peculiar personality— they are no longer easily angered, transcending physical form and detaching themself from reality, and are generally somewhat soft-spoken and almost shy, even if occasionally shameless or sly. they are basically always kind and gentle to sunday, even in the face of his saucy passive-aggressive ass, and this demeanor + it finally getting through to sunday that they are genuinely just curious about him would get him to soften up eventually. mirror is also a representation of what he is striving to achieve for humanity, serene and free of troubles (on the surface), so they are both very devoted towards the other in different ways

if i’m going the fucked up horny route i make sunday lose his mind a little bit with paranoia and Catholic Guilt over mirror following him / being on his mind. is he being watched? where are they? the eyes that look through him are not xipe or even gopher’s, no… they are an admirer. it is wrong of him to bend to such a preference displayed towards him, maybe even blasphemous, but they seem such like a pure embodiment of his view of perfection… so what is one dance?

idk if this answered your question tho sorry. tldr mirror is like :) (but is like :( internally) and sunday is like >:/ to :| to ://|

[average-dragon-enjoyer64]

honestly, props to Asagiri and the anime directors. I have pretty bad empathy deficiency bc of the ‘tism, and I find it hard to feel emotions for fictional characters. I’ve only ever felt sad about the dog dying in fiction.

This is the first time I have genuinely been prompted to be sad because of a story. Anything else I’ve felt towards other medias could be shut off easily and was often confused with already existing depressive episodes, but if chapter 110 didn’t hurt me enough, the season 5 episode 10 did.

It goes to show how much meticulousness and raw passion Asagiri and Harukawa put into the story, and the individual developments of each and every character, as well as interweaving their respective identities, both fictional and real, into beautifully crafted relationships between one another. It’s the kind of story that I feel safe to hyperfixate on: an abundance of content, and the little easily missable details that often actually mean something.

While I’m no fan of sadness (as no one is, I should believe), the emotions that I have felt for each character have puzzled even myself - someone who is honest with themselves about their feelings due to it being a matter of safety and necessity rather than preference. Spending hours thinking about not only my current conundrum with the story, but also the way that it makes me feel, are some of the most valuable and precious times in my mind. I have had the privilege of watching characters grow through their trauma and flourish, and they have unwittingly triggered my own personal growth through the smallest of questions, like: Why do I dislike Dazai if he is a fan favourite? Why is he a fan favourite? What led to Kouyou being so sure that darkness can never be cured? Specifically, in that one flashback scene? Why does everyone dismiss Dazai’s suicidal tendencies so easily? Why don’t I like Kunikida? Who is Sigma, really? Nikolai knows much more than he actually expresses; what is he hiding? Literally everything about Fyodor…

While I’ve often seen my own feelings as more of a restriction - a burden that holds myself and others back, this story (and therapy) has brought so much clarity to my struggles. Even hearing some characters say things that have struck a chord with me because I had the same thoughts many years ago, and sometimes I still do.

The sadness that this brought me was a delicate blend of a burning passion and the end of a piano piece - nostalgic, and yet wishing that, hoping that, believing that, it’s still there. A small flicker persistent through thick and thin as the walls around it were burnt and discarded. So small that it is clear that there are only two possibilities: to relight it and allow it to rage as a forest fire, or to quietly quell it, and think of it every now and then, wondering if it was the right decision. Whether the flame will be revived of drenched, one thing is certain; this is a turning point, and the decision must be made immediately. That sense of urgency coupled with wishing one didn’t have to choose brings such a soft and calm ache in the heart. Tired, exhausted even, but still there is the last spark that will surely be extinguished if not supported immediately. A spark of longing, hoping, and dawning understanding.

I can’t even figure out what other people are feeling, let alone a fictional character, especially one as cryptic as Dazai. Still, there is no doubt in my mind that this is definitely his worst case scenario, the last outcome, the result that existed only in his ignored and downtrodden nightmares.

The elaborateness of his emotions are so clearly and yet fully portrayed that I can’t help but admire it, especially because I have so much trouble expressing emotions myself. Whether or not Dazai survives will not hinder the effect that Bungou Stray Dogs has had on me, and I will continue to support it in the future. After all, while I do like Dazai as a character, there is still much more I wish to learn about in more detail. I want to know more about Kouyou, Gin, Verlaine, Tecchou, Teruko, Yosano, Jouno, and the others.

It is cruelly ironic to me, that a series about dead authors with superpowers could comfort me and help me more than anyone around me ever did when I was in my fundamental growing years. Very few characters in Bungou Stray Dogs have confirmed disabilities (aside from some form of trauma), and yet I have been able to grow and understand them, and see them in myself in a way that no one ever could ever do to me thus far in real life.

Also it stopped me from keeping attempting suicide because Dazai did it as well and I did not want to associate myself with him in any way, shape or form. Hey, whatever works.

[bazyboo13]

Smiling Critters: New Family Part 1 chapter 1 segment 4 : WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO

TW: SLIGHT DESCRIPTIONS OF BODY HORROR

*later that night*

"hey guys"

"hm?"

"I want to know more about you guys, if that's ok with y'all"

"sure, you already know about us being humans before. I'll start, my old name was Edgar- do you need to know my last name?"

"I don't need to know it"

"ok. I'd prefer you call me by human name. Thomas?"

"yeah my name is Thomas, what do you want"

*he's joking and almost laughing*

"My name is Ella. I'm not going to lie, you could call me by either name"

"I already know Theodore's name. Is there anything else, like power?"

"where is that the first thing that comes to mind-"

"we can change size"

"it's the first thing that comes to mind because you guys were experimented on"

"I can breathe out red smoke that puts you to sleep"

"we can also do it"

*Theodore looks very shocked*

"wait you do?!"

"I actually want to know, when you change sizes what does it look like?"

"our bones sort of deform, it doesn't hurt though"

"can I see?"

"sure!"

(this is where the trigger warning applies)

*Thomas starts to grow, It's ever so slightly clear that his bones are sort of spreading apart. When he's done he's around the same size as Baz with a bit more human proportions.*

"AWWWW! YOU LOOK SO CUTE!"

*Baz cups Thomas' face with his hands*

"we can grow a lot bigger than that, but I don't think we'd be able to fit in the room"

*Baz looks at Theodore with a surprised expression*

"DAMN!"

"since you're on summer break can we stay up?"

"sure! Wanna play some video games?"

"sure"

*Baz opens up steam*

"What game do you want to play?"

"Potion Craft seems fun"

"it is a really fun game, but it's also fairly difficult at times"

"how so?"

"it's a puzzle game, it's also kind of like an exploration game, but not"

"all right then open it I want to play it"

*Baz Thomas to sit in his chair. When he wasn't looking the others also decided to take the chance and grow in size*

"I almost forgot what it feels like to be big again"

*Theodore was clearly the shortest of the four, followed by Edgar, Thomas, and Ella. Baz attempts to explain the game to Thomas, however Thomas is still having a bit of difficulty. Then Edgar tries to explain, it makes a bit more sense to Thomas but he's still not grasping it completely*

"I'll show you"

*Baz shows Thomas how to make a potion of healing*

"different ingredients will cause different paths, you also don't have to fully follow through with an ingredient if you don't crush it all the way"

"that seems very complicated"

"some of the mid game too late game potions are extremely difficult, and eat up resources. Then you have the alchemy machine."

"-the what."

"it allows you to make salts which can manipulate different aspects of your potion making, but I usually tend to save it. You also have different bases and rotated potion icons."

(I cannot go explaining this entire game! I would recommend playing it though it's a really fun game!!!)

*after a lot more in-depth explanations and showing Thomas he seems to finally get a grip on the game but only mostly*

"why are you playing with that tiny tape measure like that?"

*Theodore is swinging the tiny tape measure from the end of the tape measure front and back*

"bored"

*after a couple hours*

"my God I'm spent"

"we should sleep"

"Theodore is already out on the floor"

"can someone help me pick him up"

"sure"

*the three Critters currently wake changed back into their smaller forms and laid on the bed as Theodore, still big, is out like a light*

"Good night everyone!"

"good night!"

*they all close their eyes and go to sleep*

(this is yet again another Sweet slice of Life segment, don't worry it's going to start getting serious again soon.)

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[inkwell-intermission]

slick x pickle ship dynamic possibilities. it's my rare pair and in my mind it works.

This is an interesting one because I think there are some ways they would work as a pairing, but I don't personally find them compelling or uniquely compatible

One thing about ddpi and ssps that relates to this is that I think Slick would have very little patience for PI- Pickle is very polite, a bit eccentric and cerebral, tends towards whimsical tangents if given the chance to ramble, and has little ability in hand to hand combat (with a gun is another story, but I think Slick vastly prefers a stabbing or beating, it's more intimate). Slick solves most of his problems with violence and I think he would find a nuanced and deep conversation about the nature of imagination, alcoholic effects and philosophy tedious, and I don't think he tolerates things he genuinely finds boring, because he can afford not to.

In a romantic or sexual relationship I also think Slick thrives on combat and conflict, pitchiness is second nature and first instinct to him, and what Sleuth offers him is physical resistance. He won't be easy to stab and get away with, he fights back, he offers conversation through action and quips that just make him more stabbable and a bigger target, and that kind of physicality and heat-butting is Slick's comfort zone and happy place. Bashing someone against a wall and having that person spit blood in his face and grin is like a marriage proposal to him

I can imagine Pickle having a fascination with Slick to an extent, but it would be very clear that his skittishness and verbose conversation above bravado and combativeness is something Slick likely would find annoying, and annoying Slick is a health risk that I don't think Pickle would want to take lightly

I think there's a way to approach them that could work, where Pickle essentially forces Slick to be gentle and patient and he needs to chill the hell out to spend time with him at all. Creating a soft side to him and so on? In the end I personally find Slick so self destructive and combative that he would much prefer to get into a knife fight with Sleuth in an alley and end up bandaging each other up exhausted afterwards that creates a moment of softness, care and intimacy than a relationship where he has to completely or mostly temper his preferred methods of expression, rather than indulge them vicariously and find moments between fights that make him realizes redrom might not be beyond his abilities.

TLDR; Anything I personally would get out of a sspi relationship I get from other ships I prefer along with much more, so while I think they have selective potential I don't find them as compelling as the Hannibal Lecter ass psychosexual dance ddpi or the playing "gay chicken" with your stupid sexy nemesis vibes ssps serves up. Not a bad ship, but not for me really.

HOWEVER. I can see Ms!sspi. that works. Innovator would put Scout's scrappy ass in a saw trap and be very intrigued by his puzzle solving skills when he gets out, and smitten when Scout slugs him in the eye before he escapes <3 mobswitch version is really fun and I think has a lot more potential thanks to the innovator personality difference and weird riddler energy

[narcoticwriter]

You Can Have a Little Bit of Canon Neurodivergent Faruzan. As a Treat.

Featuring her voice lines as living proof:

"Speaking of "chatting"… I once contemplated this concept in quite some depth." (Chatting as a literal concept)

"As someone I greatly value, you may occasionally find yourself in receipt of a letter from me, or indeed I may approach directly for a face-to-face conversation . . . I just hope you won't find me to be excessively chatty." (Her formal speech, worries about talking too much, a mood)

"Good, good. It seems like I'll be able to research my interests here to my heart's content after all. Even if it ends up taking me another hundred years… Hehe, I will be quite content here." (Who else, if not someone with a special interest, would be content doing this?)

"Let's say, hypothetically, I were to discover some design flaws after staying here for some time… you wouldn't mind if I shared them with you, would you?" (Direct, but also considerate)

"We want to learn more about the other person's feelings, opinions, and preferences. Plus, conversing also allows us to share interesting experiences, as well as ease each other's burdens." (This is an extremely logical way of looking at talking as an action)

"The exact topic of the conversation doesn't matter as long as you're learning about the other person. Or to put it another way, every topic matters. For those who care about you, even the most trivial things about your life will be worth their full attention." (Defining a clear goal to why people talk to each other)

"Academic research isn't some kind of fad. Topics don't just go in and out of fashion." (Obstinate on pursuing what she to do wants no matter what everyone else is doing)

"I'm starting to get hungry... How about we go get something from the Grand Bazaar? Anything goes as long as it's not overly 'innovative'." (Safe foods, might be reaching a bit)

"Day after day, I shut myself in and toiled away at my research... Even when I was out traveling in foreign lands, I made sure to keep my letters to friends and family short and to the point. I never shared any bad news, only the good." (Not as much of being neurodivergent herself as just being relatable to me, who is neurodivergent so take it as you will)

"Maybe we'll be able to spend some fun times together copying inscriptions, deciphering runes, and solving puzzles..." (Lord, she really loves her puzzles)

"Those geezers at Haravatat love to decline my funding requests with the excuse that my research's become too niche and impractical." (Special interests are often described as 'niche' and 'impractical' by some who aren't of the same mind)

"I've visited numerous ruins of all shapes and sizes and interpreted what scant texts and symbols I could find. Ruin Drakes are indeed mechanisms of the highest order. Hmm... perhaps "mechanism" isn't the best word for them. You could argue that they're antiquated "living organisms" that have managed to survive until the present day..." (This entire chunk of dialogue is titled 'Interesting Things' and that says a lot)

"Happy birthday! Here's a small toy for you. It's an assembly of a number of miniature puzzle mechanisms — you can find a button and lever here, as well as a roller to the side. Just play with it however you want, and I'll take care of it if it breaks. Hmph, and don't think I'm treating you like a child. Everyone, regardless of age, could use a moment of happiness and relaxation." (It's a literal fidget cube)

I think I've made my point.

[orange-peel-candy]

This is highly speculative, and is more like puzzle-solving than making inferences based on evidence that is actually there, but. Reading your analysis really got me thinking...

In one of your screencaps, Tokinaga says that what he hates most about Allula (AKA what he's attracted to) is she hates him. That is actually a fascinating departure from what—based on everything we know about him so far—one would think he would hate the most. It's not "a person who lacks morals," but "a person that hates me." I'm sure there's a large overlap between "people who hate Tokinaga" and "people who lack morals," but... the phrasing is very telling.

This distinction is probably why Orokappi isn't a potential suitor for the role of Tokinaga's murderer. Although Orokappi lacks (or rather, lacked) morals, he has always been fond of Tokinaga. Tokinaga finds that preferable... maybe even preferable to a good person who hates him.

A lot of the chapter title pages depict Tokinaga at around middle school age, instead of as an adult. He seems morose (nothing new there) and a little lost. Allula, during one of their private conversations, also accuses him of being a toy, who only does what "mommy" and "daddy" want him to do. To me, what this implies is that Tokinaga is actually quite childish—or, to be more specific: insecure—in spite of his usually confident attitude. I don't know how much of Allula's guess is right, seeing as she didn't know some crucial facts about Tokinaga at the time and she was just trying to hit him where it hurt, but... Tokinaga's internal image of himself is likely someone who is desperate of the approval of others.

As you pointed out with the black-and-white morality Tokinaga imposes on himself versus the gray morality he applies to everyone else, he's his own harshest critic. "Hates me and insults me with every fiber of their being" is something he does to himself already. I would say... it's a defensive strategy. He's hard on himself, so that there's less things "wrong" with him for other people to notice and/or so that other people's criticisms will feel softer in comparison.

It kinda... explains a lot. If Tokinaga is so adverse to being hated, then he sculpts his personality around what other people will like. First, his family. Then, the rest of the world. We're introduced to him from Waka's perspective, where he enters her life as the reliable adult figure she never had—and she gets attached to him almost immediately. Allula portrays all of this as a clever manipulation tactic. Tokinaga has identified what Waka needs, and uses it to control her. Tokinaga maintains that his presence as an adult is beneficial to Waka, but it's also clear that he feels a ton of guilt over deceiving her.

Ethics are defined by what the majority of the population believes is "right," yes? By striving to respond "correctly" to every situation, Tokinaga is avoiding the hatred or judgement of others. In this way, he's probably deluded himself into thinking that his outward kindness is just a show he puts on to protect himself, and that he's not a good person at all.

You noted in your previous analysis, the two characters who see Tokinaga the most objectively are Allula and Orokappi. Allula is everything Tokinaga hates/wants because her reaction to his "true self" is what he believes he deserves. Orokappi, on the other hand... doesn't fall into any of the categories Tokinaga separates the world into. He sees Tokinaga for who he really is, but he doesn't reject him—instead, he continues to treat him like normal. If it's like I think and Tokinaga's fixation on morality is born of a fear of being hated, then Orokappi is out here casually blowing a hole in his entire worldview. If, deep down, he's really such a revolting person, then why would Orokappi want to be friends with someone like that?

时鞭自我弊不轻，永宽他人宜为重

//The Intrigue Of Tokinaga Sachiyuki

In the first essay, I speculated about Ahu’az, Furuya Rin (a.k.a. Yako), and Chapter 58.

This one, meanwhile, is a character analysis of Tokinaga. It is the second of my After God essay series. Beware; it's a long read.

You don’t always get one of your favorite characters gone through my Lyndisian treatment, @orange-peel-candy, so I hope this has been a good way for you to pass the time.

Oh, you’re curious about what the Chinese title says?

“Always punishing himself for his profound sins; always forgiving others and prioritizing their virtues.”

It’s my crappy attempt at making a 对联, “duilian poetry.”

There are rules in making one. The same number of characters are used in both lines to form a couplet. There have to be counterpoints in tonal pattern between two lines, such that if they “counter” each other. Words from both lines have to be within the same category, and the meaning of the first line must correspond to the second line's meaning.

I did break one rule though: the first line’s last character has to be of an “oblique” tone while the second line’s last character has to be of a “leveled” tone. In my duilian title, the opposite is true.

There’s also just how lacking in beauty my poetry is. Not much can be done about my genuine absence of literary competency, I’m afraid!

Yes. You might also have noticed it. The first character of both lines makes up the word “时永/ 時永,” which is... “Tokinaga.”

---------------------------------------

Super Good Guy; Very Moral

The first time I read this manga, the one thing that stood out a lot to me, especially against the backdrop of After God’s society and every other character in this series—is how unambiguously moral Tokinaga is.

This is how Nayuu described the Bio-Tech department:

Chapter 4

Not even a minute passed and we got this scene:

Chapter 4

Tokinaga stood out a lot because he was the only one who opposed the unethical treatment of  “a child,” even though such a thing was standard of his colleagues. These people were known for being unscrupulous, yet Tokinaga was calling people out like he was a YouTuber dropping some bombs about his fellow creators.

There are many, many moments like these. In a world full of characters with grey morality, he stood out like a sore thumb just on the virtue of his unyielding, monkish self-discipline.

Chapter 4. Dude was seriously against this when no one else commented on it.

Chapter 9

One might, because of this, pass him over as uninteresting (at least, before the reveal of who he is). He’s straight-laced! He’s nice! He’s the good guy. He will do what’s ethically right; there’s no ambivalence. And yet, I’ve always found his strange fixation with ethics fascinating.

Yes, there’s a personal angle to this—a very close acquaintance (to my chagrin) is incredibly interested in ethics and often ponders about them, even if that situation or thought experiment is pragmatically insignificant. Another dear friend of mine also adheres to ethical principles with the same level of monkish discipline. In both cases, there are deeper reasons for their fixations.

Even before the reveal of Tokinaga’s other identity, this quality of him was already grounds for curiosity. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ll even argue that the mangaka has been teasing us about the full scope of his character with little psychological breadcrumbs.

There is a startling lack of flexibility in Tokinaga’s frame of ethics.

Tokinaga seemed dangerously close to holding a black-and-white morality. But there’s more to it.  

He’s perfectly capable of allocating leeway to most people whose ethics and morals are less than exemplary. After all, the department he cooperates with—due to Waka—is deadass staffed with moral-is-optional weirdos. Their amorality doesn’t make him see them as less, though. He values every single one of them—their safety sent him into a self-sacrificial panic, while their lost lives crushed him straight into depression.

It seems to me that, in Tokinaga’s mind, the only person who should adhere to this black-and-white morality is himself. He needs to be. He has to be.

-----

“Apologize! Apologize! Apologize!”

Chapter 33 is one of my favorite chapters in the manga so far. It’s raw as fuck and a great character study—and it features a very intriguing facet of Tokinaga’s psychology.

Now, dude had just experienced a heart-wrenching betrayal from a dear friend. Losing control of his emotions was only expected of anyone. But he had a very peculiar fixation. Despite the weight of Orokapi’s crimes (including the many people he had murdered as the Snake God), Tokinaga was hyper-focus on only two things: the injustice Orokapi had done to him—and the act of apology.

Previously, he spelled out why he didn’t believe Orokapi could apologize: “You can’t apologize, feel remorse, have a change of heart, or comprehend sadness.” And yet, subsequently, “apologize to me” was what he fixated on. He discarded the commands from his superior and colleague and went berserk in his personal demand for that apology:

Why is an apology somehow enough to forgive the things Orokapi has done? Lives were lost. Damages were done. Orokapi, as Tokinaga’s mentor had said, doesn’t live by human ethics and acts like an animal. And even Tokinaga himself had called Orokapi’s capacity for remorse into question.

So why the fixation with apology? Because, I’d argue, to Tokinaga, it’s the “right” ritual to do. Tokinaga’s stringent, black-and-white ethics demand a ritual.

It demands something that needs to be performed after crossing ethical wrongs, even if it no longer makes sense. Here, an apology is a ritual of absolution, even if it’s technically useless after all that had happened.

Tokinaga clings to it. Why?

Could it be because it’s a ritual Tokinaga himself undertakes?

As you continue the chapter, you might notice—with the benefit of hindsight—that the things Tokinaga was screaming almost sounded like things he would say to himself.

At some point, it could seem like he was projecting himself onto Orokapi—who, by being such a dear friend to him, who learned to be an ethical human from him—was like an extension of himself.

“Don’t run away, dumbass.” “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?” “Who would want to be friends with someone like that?”

—all of these could apply to Orokapi, but they can also be applied to Tokinaga himself. For example, Allula called him out on one specific accusation Tokinaga leveled at Orokapi: running away.

Chapter 55

-------

Quite the Literal Hate Boner

We later know one(there are plenty) of the biggest reasons Tokinaga hates himself: he gets aroused and hard from nothing but violence and hate. The more vile and violent, the harder his hormones run. And all this happens contrary to what his higher-ordered thinking believes and thinks.

Chapter 54

Side note: remember how Tokinaga shouted at Orokapi with “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?”  Yet, here, he was admitting to his body getting hard from being insulted. The one that felt pained when being scolded was his mind. The part of Tokinaga he believes is him, “the ethical, pure one.” The one he’s constantly reinforcing and tormenting, over and over, as his fitful penance.

Now, contrary to what Tokinaga believed, this isn’t as black-and-white as his thought process made it out to be. You can also just accept that this is who you are, and mitigate what you don’t like reasonably. You’re living in a crappy nigh-post-apocalyptic society with a bunch of amoral people who regularly skirt the edge of ethics, goddamn it. You’re hardly the only one with questionable morality.

In fact, it’s fine. You never act out on these desires. You don’t harbor the thought of wanting to kickstart a violent rampage to pleasure yourself. Tokinaga’s (literal) hate boner can even be safely relegated to the realm of kinks. There are plenty of doms who will happily take him as their cute puppy-dog sub.

But Tokinaga cannot accept it. He is determined to maintain his sense of purity. Even in the face of his sexual desire. Or the decisions he had made using his time-loop powers to ensure his “perfect death.”

He wants to believe he is “clean.” And that he can keep himself that way.

If you were a certain kind of person with a similar thought process as Tokinaga, you might go to punishing lengths to hold onto this quixotic sense of purity, while simultaneously tormented by the anxiety of it slipping away from you.

You might, perhaps, cling to every ritual of purification you can to scrub yourself clean of this constant onslaught of contamination. Apology is one of them. Eviscerating yourself and other forms of mental flagellation is another.

He even mentioned the latter. He described how much his heart ached and trembled at the sight of brutality while his body went ahead and got excited. And then, hinting at punishment, he admitted to torturing his mind with intense mental castigation every night.

Chapter 54

This matches the experience of my aforementioned friend and acquaintance—who, last I checked, are not godkillers who can turn back time (aww man).

Nonetheless, they suffer from a specific mental disorder that I find to be an interesting comparison to Tokinaga’s psychology.

---

Tokinaga Sachiyuki:  An Allegory of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Chapter 50

Hey! If you’re like my acquaintance, who freezes up at OCD mentions sometimes, take care when reading this part!

Now, I’m not too terribly interested in headcanons. The mangaka has made no such proclamation, either, and so my personal principles come into play. I won’t claim he definitely has OCD.

What I would like to put forward, though, is that Tokinaga’s psychology mirrors much of a person suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. What he has isn’t an exact match to the real-world experience because, again, he’s a fictional character who can loop time and might be a dragon (oops, did I just drop a teaser for my next essay? Hmmmmmm).

---

“This isn’t what I want! This isn’t who I am!”

What separates OCD and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is that thoughts and compulsions in the former are egodystonic, while the latter is egosyntonic [1][2].

Egosyntonic: thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that are perceived by the self to be in harmony with their self-image, as well as their goals and needs. “There is nothing maladjusted with my behavior; this is  who I ‘really’ am.”

Egodystonic: thoughts, behaviors, desires, compulsions etc. that go against one’s perception of their self-image, “who they are,” and are dissonant to the needs and the goals of the ego. “There is something seriously fucked-up with my thoughts/behaviors.”

Chapter 55

Tokinaga exhibits egodystonic agony in droves. His sexual desire insults the self-image he holds about himself—the “Tokinaga” who’s disgusted by carnage, unforgivingly repulsed by brutality, as well as terrified of the frequency of such violence occurring in life. He hated all of it with his soul, and yet his penis is getting so fucking hard by seeing it.

---

Intrusive Thoughts and The Behaviors/Rituals To Fight Them

His sexual desire, as well as any thoughts of him being possibly unethical or immoral, are his version of intrusive thoughts. They aren’t just “negative thoughts” he can swat away without them corroding his sense of self. They are his obsessions[3][4]. He had managed to keep them at bay for the first bulk of the story—unless, of course, you notice his compulsive adherence to ethics and his overall behavior from Chapter 30 onward. The façade cracked as the story progressed to Orokapi’s betrayal; it dealt a blow to his mental stability. In Chapter 55, Allula even wonders if Tokinaga is suffering from a mental decline.

All of these distressing obsessions compelled Tokinaga to follow a very stringent set of ethics—which he mostly applies only to himself. To me, his rigid ritual of an apology is as good an allegorical insight as any. His nightly mental castigation, where he fervently visualizes himself dying with all the sins of the world on his shoulder, is an even wider window to such a psyche.

What sets him as a great allegory of OCD while distinguishing himself from OCPD is that he’s not doing this because he believes he’s a good, sinless person.

He’s doing it because he believes he’s the worst.

So shitty, in fact, that he thinks being killed by Allula—whose abuses would put him through the most excruciating, pleasureless pain while his body experiences blissful, painless pleasure—is the only fitting end he deserves and therefore works toward that goal. Before he gets there, though, he’d have to endure his many intrusive obsessions... and hopefully, along the way, eradicate the embodiments of violence the masses had called “gods.”

-----

Conclusion

Chapter 20. This expression tells you a lot about what Orokapi genuinely sees in his friend. One of my favorite faces yet.

Again, lemme reiterate: there is no canonical word on Tokinaga being a sufferer of OCD. I mean, if he were to perform compulsive behaviors, such as skin-peeling or hair-pulling, it might become more canonically implicative.

What I’m going off from here is his actions and psyche so far, as well as the empirical recognition—by my friend and acquaintance—of his experience. To me, OCD has become a fascinating and fitting framework for understanding some of the complexities of this character.

It speaks to the strength of After God’s character writing when Tokinaga turns out to be a great allegorical presentation for OCD in media.

Side note: I’m personally a big fan of writing about atypical experiences in an organic, humanizing way however possible, because it helps readers understand the experience without too much focus on “therapy speaks” and the rules in the DSM-V. Yes, I say this as someone who studies cognitive science, is familiar with that manual, and advocates more rigor and replicability in the fields of psychology.

In case the length of this essay did not show it clearly enough: I adore Tokinaga. As of now, I sincerely believe him when he says he’s genuinely a good person... because, as I witnessed from my friend, it takes a certain kind of good person to be able to get this tormented in the first place. More importantly, Tokinaga may have clung to a stringent sense of morality out of compulsion, but it still makes him a good person in action.

If you feel similarly to him—OCD or not—remember that one’s mind could often distort one’s vice into virtue, and virtue into vice.

Maybe you’re moral because you’re compelled to do so to battle your intrusive thoughts, and so it feels less “authentic" than being "genuinely moral."

But I disagree. As is the spirit of Buddhist Philosophy (which I personally adhere to; also lowkey study), I think you’re already pragmatically good, and through those actions, you already position yourself in an advantageous spot for moral progress. And that will always be a cause for optimism.

Thank you for reading my ramble—despite the length! I hope you've enjoyed it.

----

Citations:

“Egosyntonic and egodystonic” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egosyntonic_and_egodystonic

“Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder

“Obsessive-compulsive disorder” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

“Intrusive thought.” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought

[judethejudas]

How they would react to you being trans— MW2 Headcanons

This includes all types of trans— so trans women, men, non binary (which would require much more explaining to the boys). Also it’s okay to not want to take hormones or do surgeries, it does not make you less of who you are. It’s just for the headcanons, my loves.

Ghost:

- He’s silent the whole time you’re coming out to him

- He just stares at you, with so many thoughts in his mind.

- Of course he knew trans people existed but he never figured you’d be one of them.

- You were already on hormones but not the surgeries, which made sense to him now because you always avoided the showers with everybody and preferred covering up.

- Ghost covered up quite a bit too so he felt closer to you in that way. That you both valued your privacy.

- He realized now it was because you didn’t have much of a choice. Even though he couldn’t have known, he felt guilty for it.

- He caught onto the pain in your eyes as you explained that your transition wasn’t easy. You lost friends, family, people you really cared about.

- “All because you were trans?” He couldn’t believe it honestly. That someone would break a bond because you wanted to be yourself.

- He put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “This doesn’t change anything between us and if anyone has a problem with it, you come to me. Is that clear?”

- You brushed the tears off your cheeks and nodded, before Ghost sent you off to do something productive.

Soap:

- He’s quite shocked when you tell him and he doesn’t make much of an effort to hide it.

- You’re transgender? How? How does that work? Do you mean you’re going to transition into the opposite gender?

- He’s not stupid but he’s confused. Our confused ally.

- You had to explain to him that you already did years ago but didn’t have the surgeries, which is why you covered up a lot.

- “I thought you and ghost were just starting a little club getting all cozied up like that.” He’s so puzzled and asking a lot of questions, like how your voice sounds like that and how this happened.

- The only letters this man knew of the lgbtq2s+ community is gay and lesbian.

- You explained hormones to him and he was just blown away.

- Then you started talking about how unsupportive people have been to you and he felt terrible.

- “I’m not like that, am I?” You reassured him immediately that he was not and he was relieved. He had grown to like you on his team, how you two bickered and joked with each other on missions— especially when you two ganged up on Ghost.

- “You’re definitely gonna have to run it by me a few times but I got your back, (y/n).”

Captain Price:

- I ain’t gonna lie to you, this man?? Is all kinds of phobic. He’s old, he can’t help it.

- He had taken a liking to you as time went on and you proved yourself to be a valuable member of the team.

- So when you came out to him, it was just pure shock. He didn’t know what to do or say. Suddenly everything had changed. About you.

- He was taught not to respect members of the lgbtq2s+ by his family and grew up with that mindset. He knew every slur in the book.

- But you being one of them? He couldn’t fathom it. But he also couldn’t bring himself to hate you.

- You explained to him how you were alienated and hated ever since you came out, so you found a family when you joined task 141.

- He felt horrible now.

- To anyone else, he could be bitter about it and he wouldn’t feel one ounce of guilt. But not to you. This was you.

- “Alright look, I can’t say I understand.. this. I’ll need time to process it since I was raised differently, but I’m not gonna throw ya out..”

- You were happy he was willing to put aside his prejudice for you, but you did need to correct him on a few terms that weren’t horrifically transphobic or homophobic.

- You, Ghost, and Soap end up giving him the nickname of Captain Pride, absolutely bombarding this old man until he’s had enough and making you all scrub toilets.

_______

I seriously doubt Ghost and Soap would be assholes about reader being trans. I just don’t see them caring that much other than asking a few questions, but Price? 😭

[lemonadecandy]

Meeting Zhongli [Part 4]

Game: Genshin Impact

About: Zhongli x fem!reader

Note 1: The premise is that 'you' get transported into the game and journey through Teyvat along with the traveller. This is a reinterpretation of the Liyue Archon Quests. Hope you enjoy~

Note 2: This has not been proofread.

Note 3: This part is longer than the others. Around 2.3k words.

Guizhong’s love for various mechanics and puzzles was fairly known about in the mortal realm. But very few knew of the dumbbell she used as a weapon and even fewer knew that it is referred to as the Memory of Dust. Y/n does seem knowledgeable and it isn’t too far fetched to assume that she stumbled upon this information after some research. What doesn’t add up is that she associated the dumbbell in my hands to the one she read about. Guizhong’s dumbbell isn’t the only historically significant one, in fact there are many others that are more iconic, why did she not take any of their names? 

When she first saw me, she had quite reaction as well, as if she was scared. I am very well aware of the kind of fear she held in her eyes, it’s the one that I often saw on the battlefield, but I am confident that my current form as a mortal isn’t too intimidating, not even a child has been this terrified to see me. Y/n surely knows something, but it seems like the other two don’t, seeing that their response is entirely different from hers. Is she perhaps someone sent by Signora? I think I made it clear that I don’t want any interruptions on my side of the plans. She could also be someone sent by a third party, but no one should have been able decipher that I faked my death this quickly. It has to be the Fatui. I shall observe her more to confirm my suspicions, and if Signora has broken the contract, she will pay the price.

——————————

Of course. Of course, it had to end up this way. Dinner had went well actually. I thought the night would end there and this ordeal would be past me. But, a certain someone had to keep insisting on having drinks. Maybe it was punishment for my hubris. 

“It is Liyue custom to have a few drinks with your guest before you part with them.” I could feel the sly intentions in Zhongli’s words. He was clearly making this ‘custom’ up. First of all, Zhongli didn’t even invite the traveller for dinner until after the rite of parting and secondly, never once was such a custom ever mentioned in the game. I should have noticed this discrepancy sooner, but I was too caught up in my thoughts to catch it. He clearly invited us with a hidden motive.

“We would love to honor such… customs. But I am afraid Lumine and Paimon here cannot drink.”, I said trying to come up with the most plausible excuse as possible.

“Well then, you can honor it on their behalf.”, the geo archon stated.

“I am afraid I can’t quite hold my liquor. And I would prefer staying close to my companions.” “What are you talking about? You used to spend every other day at Angel’s Share getting drunk with Venti.”, Lumine cut in. I flinched and gave her a glare. But she only seemed to get more confused. Stop ruining this for me! 

But suddenly, her face lit up as if understanding the situation and she whispered in my ear, “You don’t have to be so shy.” Alarmed I pulled away to look at her and she seemed to be giggling. What in the world is she thinking?

But before I could question her about it, she quickly stood up, taking Paimon with her and said, “Y/n, you shouldn’t hold back for our sake. Paimon and I will get going now, we are too tired from our journey today.”

“That’s right, Paimon needs sleep.”, the floating fairy said as she followed the traveller drowsily. “What? Wait! You—“, I shouted after them, getting up to follow them. But Zhongli quickly grasped my hand. I looked back towards him, “Excuse me… but the bill hasn’t been paid yet.”, he said with the plainest expression on his face. My jaw dropped at the unbelievable situation I had just been pushed into. Letting out a long and frustrated sigh I sat back down, burying my face in my hands. Not only have I been betrayed and abandoned by those two idiots, but now I have spend time with this walking bomb… alone. I looked up at the person sitting before me. He was looking away, signaling the waiter to bring the bill. And I also have to support this crazy man’s ridiculous expenditure. Out of all the details of his characters, of course this one had to stay.

The bill turned out to be humongous. I wonder if Childe can reimburse me for this? “Which kind of wine do you enjoy?”, Zhongli asked from behind me as I handed over the mora to the owner of the restaurant. 

“The cheapest one… for I am the one who will be paying for it, no?” I said not even bothering to look at him. This day couldn’t go any worse. Maybe I should actually try dying, I might just end up returning home that way. I was met by a chuckle to my statement. “I know a small outlet near the docks, the alcohol there is quite affordable. It may not taste very exquisite, but I would argue that it has a charm of its own.”

“Lead the way sir.”, I said pocketing the change in my bag.

The night was late, contrasting the hustle of the morning, the only sounds heard were the whistling of the land breeze and the mellow chatter of the patrons of the night time restaurants. All the other shops and businesses were closed and resting. I too wished to hurry back home to my residence and relax after the day’s events. But ‘day’ was not even close to ending. Zhongli walked ahead of me in slow and small steps. It was nice of him to be considerate and try to match my pace. What is he thinking? Was he actually going to take me to an obscure alleyway and kill me there? There was no chance of me surviving that. Chills ran through my body at the thought of this occurrence. I could feel my stomach clenching in stress. 

“We’ve arrived.” Zhongli said turning to me. I looked to my side, and noticed the outlet. It truly was ‘small’. There were no customers, just an old man, who was presumably the owner. 

We walked to the stall as the old man greeted us. He seemed to have recognized Zhongli. “What would you like?”

“Whatever he gets.”, I said motioning towards the man besides me.

“I would like the regular.”, Zhongli replied. “Should we sit near the docks as we enjoy our drinks?”, he asked looking towards me.

“Sounds good.”, I complied. This place near the sea smelled salty, but in a good way. There weren’t a lot of people around, just other sailors, drunk beyond consciousness. The spot we picked to sit at had a nice view of the water in front of us. The full moon shone brightly and reflected beautifully on the golden crane structures near the dock. This place was so much more mesmerizing than how it was illustrated in the game.

Unfortunately the drink tasted awful. Whatever was the charm Zhongli talked about. I flinched as I tried to stop myself from spitting out the liquid I had ingested. Noticing my reaction Zhongli laughed. “It’s advisable to have it in small sips, helps with the taste.”

I rolled my eyes, “Could have told me this before I drank it.” But Zhongli just continued chuckling. “So? Why are you doing this?”, I asked him. It was nice that he hadn’t killed me yet, but I wasn’t going to just sit around waiting for it like a lamb to slaughter. Maybe I could ask him directly and talk this out. 

“Is it a crime to show interest in someone you are curious about?”, Zhongli didn’t seem fazed by my confrontation in the least. He looked at me with a strange kind of intensity in his eyes. Unable to maintain eye contact, I looked away as I felt heat rise up in my cheeks. I unwittingly took another gulp of the drink in my hands only to give an even worse reaction than last time. I coughed as the liquor burned through my throat. Zhongli patted my back to help me relax, “Careful!” Flinching at his touch, I quickly regained my bearings shaking his hand off. “What are you curious about?”, I asked.

“What do you think of Liyue?”, he replied as he pulled back and looked at the rolling waves. 

I stared at him blankly, caught off guard by his seemingly out of place question. It was an ordinary question, but why was he asking me this all of a sudden? Noticing my silence, he said as he continued to look forward, “I really care for this city, so I am curious what an outsider like you thinks of it.” His face wasn’t clear due to the night sky, but the moonlight shone enough to make out the change in his expressions apparent. They were soft and melancholic. It held a mix of many different emotions, pride, sorrow, satisfaction, doubt…? Was he perhaps, still insecure about his decision to let Liyue go? Is that why he asked the traveller the same question as he was asking me right now? That’s right, the Morax we get to know properly is the one after the events of this quest. The turmoil and doubt he would probably be facing right now is not something that would need to be talked about later. This is something different too, huh? Never would I have imagined to see Zhongli so unsure and… afraid. I too turned away and looked at the sea, feeling as if I had seen something I am not allowed to see. I took another sip of the wine, a small one this time. Nah, it still tasted awful. 

“It’s almost enchanting.”, I said. Zhongli looked to me, puzzled. “The city, I mean.”, I continued as I glanced at him. “It seems to have a life of its own. In the mornings it’s loud and colorful, but at nights it’s calm and serene. The people here are so friendly as well, I can feel the spirit by just standing on the roads here. And as you were saying earlier, Liyue feels like it’s bursting with culture and heritage. You can so easily feel the presence of the god who walked with his people for more than a millennia. It’s quite the contrast to Mondstat... not that one is any better than the other.”, I giggled. Zhongli let out a chuckle as well, he seemed to be pleased with my answer.

“But, Liyue’s god no longer walks with them.”, he mumbled.

“That is indeed very disheartening. But I think Liyue will be fine.”, I said catching his words. I couldn’t help but want to cheer up the man who sat besides me, for I knew that all that lied in the future for him was peace, so he needn’t be this dejected. Perhaps it was the alcohol that made me more sympathetic? I took another sip of the drink as I continued, seems like today I just couldn’t find in myself the will to run away from miserable things and situations.

“The geo archon has left his people with so much knowledge and even a time of peace and stability. I personally think that he has finished his job and his duties to his people. It will be a rough time as the people try to gain their bearings, but from the few days I have been here… I think Liyue will be able to handle it, maybe even prosper from it.” I couldn’t really drive away his worries by telling him about my knowledge of the future, but the least I could do is reaffirm the very reasons and beliefs he put his trust in while he made his decision.

“Your words… they are comforting to hear.”, Zhongli replied. Even his voice seemed softer. Liyue was probably like his own child, I understand why he was so anxious to let it go. Why he came up with such a risky plan to just confirm his choice. “This reminds me of a certain memory. That incident took place at the docks as well, and I had the same thoughts back then as well.”, he continued. Was he perhaps talking of the time when the idea of retirement first occurred to him?  

“I hope it’s a good memory.”, I say as I take another sip, this time emptying my cup. Zhongli refills it for me as courtesy.

“Only time will tell.”, he replies.

We just sat there in silence for a few moments, I had started feeling the buzz of the alcohol in my system, it calmed my nerves that had tensed up over the course of the entire day. I looked towards Zhongli, he seemed lost in his own reverie. He seemed much less terrifying than before, no, in fact he didn’t look terrifying at all. He looked human. He looked… real. That’s right, Zhongli is real, so is the traveller and so is Teyvat. I keep forgetting that. Now that I think about it, most of my fear stemmed from the fact that I felt that Zhongli seemed different from his in-game counterpart. Nothing about him was inherently scary. I just made the differences out to be objects of fear. And now that I have taken a proper look at him, nothing feels chilling about him, in fact I have become curious about him. He isn’t just a character. He’s a person.  That’s right, I should probably stop seeing this world through the lens of it being a game, but instead, for what it really is.

P.S.: This one is longer because I just couldn't find a good place to end it.

Part 5: