#theory of masculinity

[intersexcat-tboy]

Y'all are not ready for the men who wear dresses to express their masculinity, y'all can barely even (if that) handle cultures (particularly BIPOC) not considering long hair on men to be feminine

[xenineshroom]

I think the more I learn about gendered oppression, the more it becomes clear to me that, under patriarchy, it's not that masculinity and manhood is not used as a tool for oppression against cishet white men, it is. The oppression of the every day man by the men who run the capitalist machine is an integral part of the colonialist, capitalist nightmare we inhabit.

It's simply that white cishet men have outs that no other oppressed man- or person oppressed through weaponization of masculinity, has. Most cishet white men can perform masculinity in a way that is considered generally acceptable, this performance is compulsory. That is where the privilege lies in the intersections of cishet white manhood.

The issue is that for trans people, butches, black folks and other racial and ethnic minorities, people with intellectual disabilities- people within the intersections of these identities and many many others, hyper-masculinization, misgendering and malgendering all come together, making manhood and masculinity into a bludgeon. Sometimes masculinity is held out of reach, something that will never be adequately achieved. For others, masculinity will be projected and thrust onto them in excess, made into something that cannot be escaped.

Gendered oppression is a black hole that can and will weaponize any bias. A self reinforcing system does not indiscriminately privilege any given trait.

[queermasculine]

every time a naturally femboyish actor gets a masculine makeover to advance his career i understand a little better why male gamers break down when a video game woman gets a haircut like wtf he literally looks like a man now fuuuuck

[transmascboytoy]

The autoandrophile and force masc community here on tumblr, while relentlessly filthy, has also been so incredibly affirming.

I know autogynephilia and autoadrophilia have been weaponized against us, but like, I don’t understand why feeling sexy/being sexually aroused by your body is a problem.

For most of my life I tolerated or shunned away from the way I looked. Only liked my body for how it turned other people on, for how it was considered attractive by others, but it never added to my sexual pleasure, and often had to be mentally worked around by framing it through the pleasure others took from me.

Now?

Now I’m very turned on by just existing in my body and it’s incredibly affirming. I saw myself in the mirror getting dressed at my partner’s apartment the other day, and in the mirror I saw a man. The lights were low so you couldn’t even see my scars, just my shape, and it was the greatest combination of joy and disbelief and, yes, lust. Not necessarily lust for my own self, but lust for existing in my body. Lust spurred by being able to show up and interact with people and lovers as the self I was always meant to be.

A lust that is essentially the opposite of the self aversion and self objectification that I thought was so normal for so much of my life.

I understand that queer folks have always been painted as more sexualized and deviant and dirty than straight folks for even something as harmless as a kiss, but I hate the fact that something so incredibly affirming for me and many others is used to further marginalize and medicalize us.

[offsidenewsco]

Have you ever seen someone in online hockey communities say that Vancouver Canucks defenceman Quinn Hughes has “eldest daughter syndrome?” Or heard people call Toronto Maple Leafs forward Mitch Marner “the first male victim of misogyny?”

In this 3-part series, Avery Beaumont unpacks masculinity in #NHL hockey, how it's developed over the past decade, and how that has changed hockey fanbases forever.

Read Part I here.

[boowomp]

i think my least favorite current ""feminist"" talking point is that modern misogyny "encourages" women to be masculine or man-like in order to succeed like. be real do you actually think people out there want masculine women. or is your definition of masculine women just wearing a ~womens~ blazer over a blouse and skirt like come on

[charrators]

“jax is a cat” theory is maybe the funniest thing the tadc fandom has come up with. so much so i almost feel obligated to believe it

[retroanimechris]

I recently wrote some lengthy criticism on Fudanshi and their involvement in BL creation, consumption and more within the lens of post-war Japan and mecha. To view the full writing, please visit below. Over 50 years worth of information is consolidated to give credence to the men, straight or queer, who helped uplift Aniparo BL between the mid 70s to late 80s. https://retroanimechris.blogspot.com/2025/05/to-foster-community-fudanshi-subversion.html (This article is relatively R18, please view with caution).

[prayedafterreading]

🕯️🛐 FAIRYTALE REJECT

How do I get seen in a world where my longing is now illegal?

Where fire is feminist blasphemy, and a woman who wants a man is called brainwashed instead of brave.

I want him.

Not for his polish. But for the very things they shame: the broad shoulders, the fumbling honesty, the confused silence before he says the wrong thing, and means the right one. And keeps trying.

How do I let him know I still remember the stories. The ones they laugh at now. Where the brute who could crush a skull with one hand carved out space in his ribcage to hold the ache of the woman he loved more than himself. And bled for her.

Not in metaphor. In war.

How do I say: I still want that?

Not hashtags. Not sterile flirtation. Not “mutual partnerships” where no one leads, and no one dies for anything.

I want a man who would slaughter a thousand beasts because I cried. Who would die before letting my tears touch the ground alone.

But how do I say this in a sisterhood where blood is no longer sacred unless it's on the battlefield of corporate ambition? Where the cold hands of Father Time wrap around our ovaries like ivy around gravestones, and the labcoats come with freezer plans for futures we might never have the courage to thaw?

What do I do with this fairy tale still pulsing in my chest like an outlaw heartbeat?

Sometimes I wonder if I am doomed to die in the sister-circle of women who trained themselves to sneer at the very magic they once begged for as girls. Before the textbooks. Before the cubicles. Before the rage.

I kept mine. The story.

I kept him.

Even if he’s still just a shadow in the fog of this sterile world.

I remember the boy with a beast’s heart who flinched at nothing— except the pain in her eyes.

I want that.

Even if I have to stand alone to say it.

Even if he never comes.

I’ll die a romantic, with my battle cry tucked into the hem of my dress, still hoping for a man whose soul

remembers the tale too.

[abearinthewoods]

Toxic masculinity looks like a video of women explaining they dont date guys who drive teslas

Its also the 50 thousand people who upvoted it on reddit, the thousands of comments agreeing with video or joining in to mock such guys, as well as any man whos decisions or self worth are influence by it.

But most importantly: its the 12 year boy who just saw that video and all the comments and upvotes and just internalized the message that his self worth is based upon what women think of him. Something he'll subconsciously express when his first rejection feels like a personal attack.

So when i say toxic masculinity is enforced by men and women alike, this is what i mean.

[chroniclesofnadia111]

my book recommendation of the day for the men specifically. I always recommend this book to men in my life—family, friends, & lovers. All men should read this at least once in their life.

[arielthedaydreamer]

The world would be a better place if cis people understood the concepts of gender euphoria and dysphoria as things that everyone experiences, not just trans people.

The woman is not wearing makeup and a short skirt for male attention. She is doing that because it gives her gender euphoria as a woman.

On a more serious note, if a man doesn't feel comfortable to wear a pink shirt; eat a pink ice cream; listen to a female singer who is popular; express his feelings; drink fruity juices; hold his girlfriend's purse; say certain words; act with kindness towards his loved ones; apologize; deescalate conflict; watch a movie enjoyed by women; play with a small and fluffy animal; because he thinks these things make him look girly, less manly or "nor a real man", that is no way to live. That man is experiencing intense levels of gender dysphoria and he needs help.

I feel like people only look at men like that and laugh and call them sexist. Some of them might be and they need to be called out for it, but I feel like gender dysphoria is very common in cis men and we should be calling it what it is.

A cis man doesn't "feel uncomfortable" when he paints his nails for the first time, he gets dysphoric. Just like the cis woman who wears jeans during summer because she forgot to shave her legs and is embarassed about it.

Dysphoria happens to cis people, All. The. Time. Pass the message on.

[maxdibert]

With how the series has a toxic masculinity problem, I wonder if The characters wands are supposed to represent their masculinity or if female, Starting to conform to stereotypes,

Lucius lost his wand to symbolize that Voldemort was now In charge of his family and manor. Then he spends the rest of the book mostly just there though he does try convincing him to identify the trio.

Draco earned the elder wand when he was trying to take charge, thej he lost it as well as his own, when He didn’t want to identify or help the Trio but Harry was willing to fight. Draco lost his mother’s wand when Crabbe turned against him and he needed Harry to save him.

The Potters were wandless when they were attacked and killed, Lily is shown pleading with Voldemort and being a good mother. Lily was even stated to have had at least 2 wands.

Hermione lost her wand when most of the rest of her scenes were to be focused on her relationship with Ron.

Absolutely, and in fact, that reading about wands is incredibly interesting because it aligns perfectly with the symbolic logic that runs throughout the entire saga: the idea that power, agency, and personal worth are directly tied to the willingness (and ability) to exercise violence, and how that connects to a deeply patriarchal notion of control and masculinity.

In the world of HP, the wand is not just a magical tool, it is literally the object that defines how useful, powerful, or narratively relevant a character is. Losing it is, in narrative terms, a form of symbolic castration: it implies a loss of power, autonomy, and capacity to act. Let's not forget, for example, that the punishment for wizards who break laws is to have their wands taken or destroyed. Hagrid is expelled from Hogwarts and has his wand taken away. The wand is the source of power because it's what channels that power. Rowling has later mentioned societies where wands aren't needed, but the reality is that both in the books and in the Fantastic Beasts films, the wand is essential to fully accessing a wizard's or witch’s magical potential. And if we look at who loses their wand, when, and why, we start to see a very clear pattern that reinforces the toxic masculinity already discussed throughout the series.

What you pointed out about Lucius Malfoy is a great example: the loss of his wand marks a breaking point where he literally stops being an active player in the story. He becomes a mere physical presence, symbolically emasculated. Voldemort, the epitome of violent power, strips him not just of his magical tool, but of his role as patriarch. And that’s significant: the series strips him of his “right” to exercise masculine power because he failed to do so by the standards of the most brutal male figure in the story. And, consequentially, all family responsibility and the role of servant previously occupied by Lucius falls on Draco, who still has magical power and therefore remains useful to Voldemort’s plans still a member of society.

With Draco, it's even clearer. Every time he begins to act with anything resembling vulnerability or moral doubt, he is symbolically punished with the loss of his power (again, his wand). And it's no accident that the narrative places Harry as his counterpart: the hero who never hesitates to use violence when “necessary,” and who therefore ends up not only keeping his own wand, but becoming the “master” of the Elder Wand, the ultimate symbol of power. Or that, in fact, a wand is what everyone fights over, and that those who seek it are male characters battling each other for control.

Hermione’s case is especially sad because, throughout the series, she represents intelligence, rationality, emotional restraint, all traditionally masculinized traits, distanced from stereotypical femininity. Her loss of the wand coincides — as you mentioned — with her narrative reduction to a romantic interest. That is, the moment she’s assigned a traditionally feminine role (love, relationship, emotional attachment), she symbolically loses her individual agency. She no longer acts, she accompanies. Hermione stops being an independent figure because she has fallen in love, is going to become a girlfriend and later a wife and mother, and loses her individual agency, just like every other female character in Rowling’s universe. No matter how excellent they were (like Fleur) or how unique and eccentric (like Tonks), they are always pushed into the background once they marry a man, ironically, without those men losing their protagonism.

Lily, on the other hand, is a powerful example of how the series punishes women who choose protection and care over combat. Her final act is one of emotional sacrifice. She doesn’t defend herself — she pleads. And while narratively this is framed as “the love that saved Harry,” it’s still an act of emotional power that has no symbolic continuation in the narrative. Because what really “triumphs” later isn’t her love, it’s Harry’s ability to wield a wand and physically confront evil. Emotion kicks off the story, but violence is what concludes it. Rowling tries to sell us the idea that love conquers all, but the series constantly reminds us that the only kind of value that really matters is the one paired with aggression and violence, that the true heroes are those who fight in physical and active ways. That emotional expression and trauma are signs of weakness or annoyance. And that only women who behave like men are worth anything. The saga doesn’t understand struggle through empathy or care, it understands it through aggression, and that is something deeply, deeply masculine. Rowling rejects all alternative approaches to conflict resolution, she only believes in combat and only glorifies characters who conform to traditionally toxic masculine behavior. Those who use different methods are either villains or burdens.

In other words, the wand as a symbol reinforces the gendered logic running through the entire work: having it (and knowing how to use it) equals narrative value. Losing it equals disposability. And it's no coincidence that the most emotionally complex, morally ambiguous, or simply non-violent characters lose their wands. Because this universe doesn’t know what to do with characters who don’t fit the binary simplification of "brave = violent = good" and "uncertain/insecure = weak = useless or bad." So yes, we can absolutely say that there is a sort of phallic code in how the wand is treated as an extension of traditional masculine power. And this code applies to both men and women: the women who retain their power in the narrative — like Ginny, for example — are those who play by the rules of the masculine game. They are strong, tough, emotionally stoic. The ones who don’t are discarded, ridiculed, or domesticated.

Magic in Harry Potter could have been a way to subvert these logics, to imagine a world where power doesn’t have to be violence. But the way the story is structured, who keeps their wand, who loses it, who is “worthy” of a powerful wand, reminds us that even in fantasy, patriarchy is still writing the rules.

[samwisethewitch]

Queering the elements

In my last post, I talked about the origins of the whole "masculine/feminine energy" thing that we see in witchcraft and occultism. In this post, I want to share an example from my own practice of how I honor traditional gender associations while also making room for more varieties of gender identity and expression, using the classical elements as an example.

To be clear, this is just one example of how we can queer Western occultism. This is what works for me, but you might find that something else works better for you. That is perfectly fine, and I encourage you to do your own brainstorming and find what resonates with you.

I know some queer witches choose to remove gendered associations from their practice entirely, and I think that's totally valid. I, personally, think gendered energies do have a place in my practice, but that goes way beyond just masculine/male and feminine/female.

Binary gender is not inherently bad. I think we can work with masculine and feminine energies while also making room for gender identities that fall outside of that binary. Personally, I think making space to acknowledge and celebrate nonbinary, agender, and genderfluid identities on the same level as binary genders is an important part of this work.

The model I use for the elements in my practice was created by my partner, who has given me permission to share it here. This model still connects the elements with gendered energies, but in a way that is much more inclusive.

Earth is feminine because of its associations with nourishing, community building, and practicality, things I see reflected in the women in my culture, both cis and trans.

Fire is masculine because of its associations with movement, passion, and determination, things I see reflected in the men in my culture, both cis and trans.

(To be clear, I'm not saying that only women can be nurturers or that only men can be passionate and determined. Obviously, any person of any gender can have any of these traits.)

Air is associated with agender and nonbinary identities and with anyone who does not feel a strong attachment to any particular gender. Air is ethereal, thoughtful, and intellectual, traits I see reflected in the nonbinary and agender people around me.

Water is associated with genderfluid and genderqueer identities, and with anyone whose identity cannot be easily labeled. Water is mysterious, flexible, and intuitive, traits I see reflected in the genderfluid and genderqueer people around me.

I like this model because it still includes some of the traditional gender associations from older occult practices, but it opens things up to embrace more identities and experiences. For my practice, this is a good balance between tradition and inclusivity.

I'd love to hear from other queer witches about if and how y'all work with gendered energies in your practice! Let me know what you've come up with!

[clvudii-launch42]

Kick me if u want, but I think Gia may be trans.

[sscardinal7]

I always found it a bit interesting to view Orchid and Navy through sexist pair of lenses within their writing because you wouldn't be wrong for thinking that. Looking at the couple's design, it's just blatantly allegorized as such; It's rather encouraged throughout their ingrained positioned roles. It's a different perspective to partake for sure. In a general observation, the best part is that it appears just as explicit as it is consistent in the two.

But if you're asking me on a deeper, personal level, I like to explore the nuances within that frame of enlightenment. The out of bounds of that construct is so incredibly fascinating to me. I enjoy my share of speculations, after all.

As a couple, the two are ever hardly mentioned or brought up. As someone who developed such an attachment, you can imagine my shock in the newsletters’ one truth, two lies.

And then you consider what their cameo was in the episode itself. The complications are the timeline.

When escaping the frame, Purple seems as though he's a fully grown stick, and his first reaction is to reach out for his dad. If you were to consider his bout of chasing and longing, the reaction seems a bit underwhelming from my takeaway when acknowledging just the severity of his state, which is why I personally don't agree with Navy's state in abandonment in the period just yet.

As valid is this concern is, what bugs me the most is the thumbnail.

The thumbnail of the file has the trio in the frame. It's a bit ironic considering how.. catering and loving the family is when we only ever familiarized them as not the best via Purple's presentation. Oddly enough, Purple appears roughly young in the frame. Somewhat between the height of his first presented sparring and the second.

The first bargaining versus the second bargaining has a drastic and visible difference in a general observation. It's quite a gap with Navy's eagerness and roughness alongside Orchid's lack of accompany. This can suggest the frame in which their written canon got altered from the attack in an attempt to make sense with the sudden disruption.

When thematically, the two’s writing are still ongoing, not properly constructed. Perhaps they didn't have the time to be. Perhaps because they can't be. And that causes many, many issues. (being in which we know of)

To consider the 5 second scene as an “origin” seems so utterly.. lazy and jagged when you're viewing it from a writer's standpoint. Things start to drastically change when you portray the bit as a potential kickstarter to what we are presented later on, and everything just seems to click.

The file withering away without the security of their rightful positioned page on Newgrounds. Without their predicament in coding, it completely discards alongside speculated hundreds (if not thousands) of others.

While not directly stated, the implications of Dark and Chosen's rampage conquencing and ingrained not only in their victims’ traumatic nightmares and loss of loved ones, but instantaneously in disconnection with their coded writing and platforming—makes an incredible poetic combination.

StickWave on X

The severity of the two's actions and how Chosen's intricate reluctance (but bystanding) will be contributed in the long run, as Alan stated his plans on exploring the emotional depths and development of his character. (As hilariously traitorous and belittling it sounds when Chosen is already quite in-depth. He already has much exploration, careful thought, naunce, and a lot going for him as a stand-alone character in his established arc.)

But I'm getting ahead of myself for the PowerPoint.

Without the uploader's ability of continuation in their chain of chronology and writing in a digestible format (as it contradicts the already decaying code from the displaced file), it practically leaves this family stranded. How the two will continue on with their nurture and catering from here is plausible to one's eye.

I find Purple as a character very useful when understanding Navy and Orchid as individuals, as their styles are very well coreherent within him. As anonymous as they are, they appear familiar when keeping Purple's responses in mind.

Navy's design is a simple dark blue color. Commonly associated with masculinity. Displayed in authority, strength, solitude, power, responsibility, care, and common sense. His programmed positioning well highlights and compliments that standard. His role stems as a husband and as a mentor for their child, giving strict tutorings.

Orchid’s design is a light pink color. Commonly associated with femininity. Displayed in carefulness, dignity, delicacy, kindness, tenderness, and usefulness. So shocking when her programmed positioning consists of that standard. Her role stems as a wife, a mother, and a comforting and supporting role.

Their creator redirects these socially constructed (and vaguely misogynistic) choices into their original characters. It's gender essentialism. It's an extremely patriarchal thought to have. This is what happens when writers don't want to look too deeply into their own biases and replicate them into a fictional construct thats still based on the society that generally formed those said biases.

It only ever feels encouraged with Alan's own odd choices and remarks toward the topic of diversity in a female cast. But then again, I digress.

The two play as role models. The two are parents, after all, as much as they are lovers. Or supposed to be. It's a general faux relationship.

And then you have Purple—whose role is simple in itself; a child of the two. Children who are nurtured, raised with careful precision, and molded on whatever methods they are conditioned to. It reflects on them.

What stood out to me the most was how Navy's adamants in strict authority, which was not only directed to Purple but to Orchid as well. So it only ever appears as strange when he does the same with her.

This only ever came off as an odd question to me of course. Navy's methods were not only coherent within Purple but began to rub off on Orchid as well. Orchid isn't even a subject for sparring, unlike Purple, yet she's treated with the same field of intellect. Not offering a hand, not offering help. His methods appear as a "You help yourself or no one will." Directed for everyone in general, not just Purple. In Navy, it's all for oneself and their ability in defense. Combat is quite a normalized bat of action in-universe regardless, and he still offers a gesture. He's just as alarmed, of course. That's his family.

It's such a huge gap for someone who we saw as so, so loving and catering. Someone who was made to be so loving and catering.

And you wonder where Purple's nasty tendency of running away from his responsibilities stems from. And you wonder where his longing for validation stems from. And you wonder where his difficulty of forming and maintaining relationships stems from. And you wonder where his warped perception of belonging stems from. How he ends up defying (most of) these very traits and facing them head-on. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

As someone who is characterized and coherent within Purple via harsh training and micromanagement, he's cold. Navy wanted only the best. He wanted to raise someone who was special, someone who knew what they were capable of, someone who knew how to fend; to fight. Someone who was good. It's what he was made to do. From an interrogated perspective, these ideals can be a very parallel to what Navy forces within himself. To be held high, to feel validated, to feel worth. A beg that he's living up to phantom strings of a no longer existing story, something that doesn't hold strength in necessity anymore, but a necessity of confirmation.

And if Purple isn't cut out for those expectations? It's like a betrayal to life itself. But what is the purpose to life itself when the purpose withered away long ago? And if there was supposed to be something more, he wouldn't know.

He's trapped in a fading prison that is not essentially out of his making but is left with his responsibility to escape. But how can you retrieve the digits when you have no conscience of the fact that it was rotting with your own independence to begin with? How can you care, when all you can think about is the emotional hurt that brings out the worst of you, the part that your lingering hubris and negligence doesn't want to fathom is the worst of you?

In his worst, he stays clinging to the structure because it's beneficial for him. In his best, it's the only thing he can comprehend. And he sticks to it.

It's an endless cycle of dysfunctionality, a constant feedback loop. Though not by his own hands, but kickstarted by his utter ignorance to process his emotions that he deems unfitting for a role as his. A sublevel degree of dependency of an origin that no longer exists, and his inability to move on. Someone who metaphorically runs from his consequences, fear of accountability, but someone who is willing to subject those steps away if it contributes something for the only other obliged and existing role he has. He's a husband as well, after all.

And Orchid.. doesn't look back once. Not even a glance. Something that bugged me from the get-go was Orchid's flinching/covering herself when confronted by Navy. If you're in a safe, healthy relationship, you shouldn't feel the slightest bit of obligation to defend yourself. Because you trust your partner. This implies that Navy had either

1] Laid his hands on her before (which I highly doubt)

2] Grew anxious from watching his sparrings with Purple

And if 2 is the case, it comes off as intricate. You would ask why she wouldn't just leave him? If the viewing of sessions made her so wary to the extent of self-defense, why would she submit her child to go through that?

You could assume there was denial and codependency playing out and you wouldn't be wrong for thinking that. You would think that her ability on leaving that relationship would be so difficult within herself that she would chase when Navy redirects that choice.

But she proves you wrong. She doesn't beg, she doesn't interfere, she doesn't digress, and she doesn't look back once. From what we were shown during that time frame, it just didn't make any sense.

If you were to separate Orchid from her role and ask of her within her identity, you would get plainly nothing. She's a mother, a wife, and what else? She is empty behind them.

She doesn't attach herself to Navy and Purple. If anything, she isolates and disappears away from the scene. It's only ever evident in her discomfort with Navy and how he acts out in his conflict. How he treats their child. Stomping her away. As loving and empathetic she is for Purple, she doesn't interfere unless she's positive that it's a necessity, thus her flaw.

And you wonder where Purple's adamants of independency and self-soothing stems from. Once again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Motherhood in Orchid is equivocal. It's both the desire and loss of identity. But what identity is there to be loss if there's plainly nothing if not her role? Nothing in store for her? In her writing? You really can't be alienated either way.

In her assumed relief, it's all of that. She's dazed. She's paralyzed, up until her legs begin to give up from under her, and she needs Purple's help to stay upright.

Using Alan's interpretation of death within animations, their code is disconnected, but still very there. It's the inability to be altered by one in the real world, so it's left as unadulterated (unless with the acceptable scenario of Second) as death in-universe doesn't abide by human biology. But what code is there to detach when they detached long ago?

...or rather, the last strands of code taking those steps in separation. In whom by definition, was Orchid's last strand of function.

In their discarding canon, it's the loss of functionality in both the pursuit of it and in the defiance of it.

It's the self extertion to the point it is actively damaging to not only yourself, but everyone around you versus the other whom is so out of touch that it causes unintentional hurt to the self and those around you. (In which both parties can't be communicated properly.)

Or as I love to put it in trope, the burning hatred of the figure you were made to love versus the boundless affection of how at the end of the day, you were still made to love them.