#theorize who’s causing the chaos

[rainbowpufflez]

@hauntinglyghostie hey remember ur reblog on my comic, welp

Team RR fridge

[loading-excuses]

ok i really love how a lot of the character redesigns in hades 2 are clearly a direct nod to what the gods are experiencing with the war against the titans in the game

like demeter is in full battle armor, her daughter is unreachable in the underworld and she is not messing around. she is ready for battle.

aphrodite wears war paint/makeup that directly mimics that of ares’s war paint/makeup in the first game.

the one i find the most interesting though is chaos. their redesign has them looking much more human. which some may think is odd considering they are essentially an extra planar being of creation. but i think it makes perfect sense. nyx who is their child, is one of the deities who is unreachable in the underworld. and as we know from the events of the first game, there’s a whole quest on the fated list that involves fixing the relationship between nyx and chaos. the fact that nyx is unreachable is most likely taking a toll on chaos, which in turn is making them feel more “human”/mortal thus causing them to present to appear more human. it makes sense if you think about it

i could go on and on about the new character designs and how they’re indicative to the war with the titians but these are the ones that have stuck out the most to me

edit; i am choosing to ignore the fact that chaos’s new design does look a lot like meg bc if it does mean anything i want to see it play out in the game without trying to theorize about it too much

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 14 – The One Where They Call It Chaotic but We Call it Predictable

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Yes, I am fully aware my entries have been sparse of late, and, no, I am not planning to stop my general Lukola ramblings any time soon. In fact, once I run out of material, I’ll probably dabble with fan fiction because, meh, why the hell not? Any ways, the reason for my slight absence is that I’ve had a special guest staying at my house – one by the name of “Dad.” Yes, that dapper gentleman has been roosting on my porch for the past few weeks (because that’s the only place I allow him to smoke), drinking an ungodly amount of Coca-Cola and holding my shih tzu like she’s a human baby. He did pry himself away long enough to be my date to see “Wicked” (he loved it, by the way). Oh, and he was obliged to my incessant babblings about Lukola. In fact, he even opened my mind to a few theories of his own and made me laugh hysterically at his reaction to the Jakolas.

It has always been my intention to delve into a certain section of our timeline – the part where Luke seemingly ran off into the Summertime Sunset with his friend group, which included Antonia. That period in time is the cavity of my Lukola table puzzle. The left side isn’t connecting to the right side because there’s this gaping hole in the center called Hot Boy Fucking Summer! Before June 12, things made sense to me. Even with the muck we find ourselves in now, just about everything after July 30 has made sense to me. So, of course, Hot Boy Summer was a topic of discussion with my dad. Actually, it was an “all afternoon” one.

I originally presented the Before, During, and After of Hot Boy Summer in chronological order to my dad only to get blasted with, “Stop doing that shit!” after I mentioned “Bless the Telephone.” His gripe was that – like the Claddagh ring – I had failed to disclose to him information that may alter his opinion about the event for which we were theorizing. Specifically, if I knew that the Claddagh ring preceded June 12 and I knew Nicola’s aptly named “Chaos Week” followed July 30, then disclosing those details to him before asking him to theorize about what happened in between those two dates (i.e., Hot Boy Summer) was necessary and even critical to his final opinion.

I don’t believe there is much explaining to do on the front-end of Hot Boy Summer – at least not to my well-versed Lukolas. We presumably all watched the same World Tour (including that trip over to Galway so Luke could meet Nicola’s mother) and I’ve already discussed the Claddagh ring in Entry 6 of my blog. That leaves us with the tail-end of Luke’s summertime jaunt, which steers us into Chaos Week. For those of you who thought I was going to discuss Hot Boy Summer in this entry, I’m sorry – this one is dedicated to that erratic period of Nicola blowing her war horn, beckoning all Lukolas within a worldwide radius of London to commence at her feet. And, commence we did!

Have you ever heard of “chaos theory?” Broadly speaking, it’s the idea that small changes can result in major changes over time – like cause and effect. That’s kind of how I’ve looked back at Chaos Week. We’d spent most of the summer on one bummer of a vacation, with Luke and Nicola (presumably) spending time apart from one another. Sure, we’d had few fireworks explode here and there with pap pictures, and we saw JVN enter the ring as the fan favorite best friend but, on the surface, Hot Boy Summer was, well, rather static. It had carried on with a monotonous “blip…blip…blip…” until suddenly our radar detected a quiet but distinct “blip-blip,” which didn’t register in any of our minds until we had a torpedo coming straight for us!

I don’t believe we can attribute Chaos Week solely to Nicola. Yes, yes, I know, Nicola’s online presence in early to mid-August was chaotic, hence the name “Chaos Week.” But, I do not believe Nicola started Chaos Week. She sure as shit drove it home but, in my opinion, it wasn’t her actions that set everything in motion. Nicola wasn’t the “blip-blip;” she was the torpedo.

So, what was the “blip-blip?”

Luke returning to London – alone – on August 2, of course.

The friend group, which had included Antonia, was nowhere in sight.

Hot Boy Summer had come to an end (I imagine this to be the reason Nicola started blowing her war horn).

In my opinion, Luke’s return set everything else into motion. He was that second pendulum that caused the first one to spiral out of control.

But, we ate that shit up, didn’t we? Yeah, we sure did, and we loved every day of Chaos Week. What’s funny to me is that everyone remembers bits and pieces of Chaos Week, but they never seem to get it in the right order (how chaotic, right?). This happened, then that happened. No, no, that happened first. No, this happened first. The only way to really look at Chaos Week is to give order to the disorder. And, we’re going to do that via a very generic captain’s log, so…

Welcome aboard!

Mission: Chaos Week

Origin: Somewhere in Mayfair.

Destination: Happily Ever After.

Time of Departure: Fuck, I don’t know. When did you board this ship?

Expected Time of Arrival: Hopefully before we all wither up and die.

Log Entries:

August 2. Luke returned to London alone. Yeah, yeah, I know, I already told you that, but I had to add this:

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August 4. Nicola decided to wake us all up from our somber summer with a plate of French toast. Umm, okay, that’s fucking random. I’m going back to bed – but wait, didn’t Luke say brunch was his “fav meal of the day?” Yeah, I swear I have that polaroid around here somewhere.

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August 7. Luke – after being absent on social media for what seemed like a lifetime – suddenly popped into his Instagram stories to post some delightfully cute Bridgerton Bloopers. The entire fandom rejoiced at Luke’s return to social media! And, let’s be honest, we only cared about the bloopers with Luke and Nicola. Hmm, Luke always has this intriguing, yet subtle way of surprising us. Did you hear that?

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August 7. Shortly after Luke posted his Bridgerton Bloopers, Nicola swooped in and dropped a very loud Wordle anvil on her Instagram stories. <clang!> Was she clocking people for making fake social media accounts using her name? Did she really solve the Wordle in two? Actually, most of us ignored that part of the post entirely and went straight to Mr. Google to ask, “What does ‘anvil’ mean? Okay, how about in the Urban Dictionary?” You know you did, too! In all seriousness, though, when this first dropped, I considered whether she was directing the “anvil” at Luke. After all, let’s face it, Nicola was the one who promoted Bridgerton post-Papsmear while Luke disappeared from the limelight. It’s only natural that she might be a bit peeved at him suddenly promoting Bridgerton. However, in hindsight, I believe this to be nothing more than Nicola calling out the person making fake social media accounts under her name. During this time, there seemed to be an influx of fake social media accounts using Nicola and Luke’s names (Luke would address this same topic on his Instagram stories on August 24). And, as fun as it would be to theorize that the “anvil” was directed at someone (other than Luke, of course), it was, in fact, the Wordle for August 6. That said, I do believe that “Wordle” has become synonymous with “Luke” at this point. So, I’ll give you that.

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August 8. JVN reposted their “[w]hen you catch someone trying to sneak a pic but you were born for these moments” to his Instagram grid. Did you think JVN wasn’t going to be included in Chaos Week?! They produced some of their best shit during this time! Any ways, Nicola liked this grid post, which confirmed my belief that Antonia played some part in the Italy pap pictures (for a full explanation on this, read “Entry 11 – The One About the Heart of the Ocean”). Thanks for the recap, JVN, although most Lukolas probably didn’t need to a reminder as to why they disliked Antonia.

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August 9. Nicola posted the Scrabble board to her Instagram stories. Whoa, hold up, Jakolas! Yeah, we know Jake played Scrabble with Nicola and – guess what – we Lukolas don’t care. I mean, I’ll even throw the Jakolas a small scrap of meat and say that Jake could (emphasis on could) have helpedNicola with the Scrabble board. Why am I being so charitable? Because that just makes me more confident Jake has always supported Lukola. You will not convince me (or probably any Lukola) that this Scrabble board was directed at anyone else but Antonia. In my opinion, there are only two things in this picture that matter – the central word “HEYA,” or “HEY A,” and the Guinness coaster. In fact, if I had been playing on the opposite side of this Scrabble board, I would have challenged this word. That alone says exactly what it needs to say. This is not to dissuade you from theorizing on every other word on that board, though. I’m simply saying I do not need any other evidence to persuade myself into believing the board was directed at Antonia. Now, if you want to take the two corner words and speculate that Nicola was having “SEX” with “DAD,” go right ahead – I won’t argue with you.

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August 10. Nicola posted to her Instagram grid the now-deleted birthday greeting to her friend, Camilla. The caption read, “…Remember the time paparazzi took a picture of us and to protect me you grabbed my face?” If that’s not an indirect jab at Luke’s friend group, I’m not sure what it is because it sure as hell doesn’t scream, “Happy Birthday,” to me.

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August 11. Nicola decided to get out her blow torch and light every beacon fire she could find starting in Bowral and ending in London by posting the “Drink Your Milk” shirt to her Instagram stories. You could practically hear her rallying every last Lukola still standing: “Rise, Lukolas, rise!” In fact, I think some even rose from the dead that day! What was the crisis? Well, only that the “Drink Your Milk” shirt was exactly like the one Luke was seen wearing on or about June 22. Now, now, this was a charity promoted by Jonathan Bailey so it’s entirely possible Nicola was gifted her own shirt. But, guess what? The Lukolas didn’t give a shit! They deep dived into reflections on sunglasses and creases in t-shirt sleeves! And, no, I’m not speculating on that hot mess (if you’re interested in learning more, I promise you there’s plenty of TikToks for that). In truth, it never mattered to me whether the shirt belonged to Luke or not. What mattered was the perception that it was Luke’s shirt. It blew up the Internet and I would stand by my belief that, if the fandom’s perception of something was detrimentally incorrect, Nicola (or Luke) would have corrected it. Nicola did not correct this. And, no, Jakolas, don’t even talk to me about that scrap of green blanket in that picture. I don’t care if Jake played Scrabble with (presumably) Nicola at some point over the summer while sitting outside on a goddamn green blanket. The “Drink Your Milk” post was not a secret coded message to Jake. I would stand on a hill and argue that all afternoon. Why? Because – again – Nicola did not correct the “Luke’s shirt” narrative. She let the fandom run with it. In fact, we all got our own blow torches that day. Mine’s turquoise and engraved with my initials.

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August 12. JVN posted a “Special announcement” to their Instagram grid. Right about now, you might be, like, “What the fuck does this have to do with Chaos Week?” I told you, JVN has this way of slipping shit into to their posts that make you do a double take – usually a day later while you’re daydreaming during your drive to the office. This was one of those posts. The announcement was: “I’ve been waiting for this announcement until after the Paris Olympics had finished, as to not take away from the incredible success of USA Gymnastics…@teamusa has been following my journey and growth as a gymnast and showed up at my house to personally invite me to train to be a potential member of their 2028 team. While I hate taking a slot away from 2028 potentials like @simonebiles & @stephen_nedoroscik (as it appears quite obvious I’ll make whichever team I attempt to)…” What made this post stick out is that it is, in fact, bullshit. As in, it is a completely made-up story. Team USA did not visit JVN at their house; they’re not joining the USA gymnastics team. It’s not even that funny, to be honest. So, what was the point of it? It’s confusing as fuck when you read it at face value; however, when you drop it into the Lukola timeline, I’m convinced it alludes to something bigger. On August 11, we had Nicola posting the “Drink Your Milk” shirt – which sent the fandom into believing Nicola was wearing Luke’s shirt and that Luke’s reflection was in her sunglasses. On August 13, the day after this post, a torpedo was launched at us (warning, warning, anyone got a phone I can use?). When you look at this post as the middle piece connecting Nicola’s August 11 and August 13 posts, I believe it tells a story. Let me rewrite it for you but imagine it now coming from Nicola’s perspective: “I’ve been waiting for this announcement until after the Paris Olympics Hot Boy Summer had finished, as to not take away from the incredible success of USA Gymnastics Luke’s friend group, which included Antonia…Luke @teamusa has been following my journey and growth as a gymnast and showed up at my house to personally invite me to train to be a potential member of their 2028 team [choose your own adventure on this one]. While I hate taking a slot away from 2028 potentials like @simonebiles Antonia & @stephen_nedoroscik Rory (as it appears quite obvious I’ll make whichever team [“girlfriend” or best friend] I attempt to)…” Huh, at the very least, this post is starting to get the side-eye from you, isn’t it?

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August 13. Oh, my God! My hair is on fucking fire!!! Nicola dumped “Bless the [Goddamn] Telephone” on her Instagram stories. Whose voice is nice to hear again? What is she trying to say?! Maybe nothing. No, it’s something. “It’s nice, the way you say my name; not very fast or slow, just soft and low; the same as when you tell me how you feel; I feel the same way, too; I’m very much in love with you. I’m very much in love with you.” I don’t need to elaborate any further on this post. It speaks for itself. Chaos Week had officially launched its massive torpedo (full of firecrackers and pinata candy) and the entire Lukola fandom was hysterical – in the best way possible. However, I will interrupt this happy moment with – Jakolas, please don’t start trying to link this song to Jake because Jack Rooke used it in an episode of “Big Boys.” Yes, we are aware Jake played a minor role in that show as a love interest to the main character, Jack. Again, Nicola did not shut down the fandom’s perception that the song was for Luke. Sorry, not sorry, Jakolas. If any part of Chaos Week was for Jake, I believe Nicola would have shut the entire thing down after realizing the fandom was associating everything with Luke.

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August 15. After giving the fandom 48 hours to process “Bless the Telephone,” Nicola posted to her Instagram grid, “Very demure, very mindful.” In my opinion, Nicola was acknowledging that her recent posts (ahem, “Bless the Telephone”) were intentional, and she was aware of how they were being taken by the fandom (ahem, that they were for Luke).

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August 15. JVN posted to their TikTok account “Slick Back Bun.” Hands down a fan favorite moment with JVN. “Sometimes I just need a very demure slick back bun…I don’t do my slick back bun like all the other girls. Here I’ll show you how to do it…I’m just going to take the hair and twist it around itself, so I just have a little cinnamon roll bun…” Do I need to elaborate on this one? Seriously, do I? Slick back bun – Antonia – yeah, okay, got it, we’re still going knives out on Antonia. If you haven’t watched this, it is still on JVN’s TikTok and Instagram grid. It was clever how “demure” JVN and Nicola were being that day.

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August 16. Nicola posted another song to her Instagram stories. This time it was Clairo’s “Juna.” It was not just a sweet, romantic song; it was full on sexy. “You make me wanna try on feminine; you make me wanna go buy a new dress; you make me wanna slip off a new dress…With you, there’s no pretending.” Alright, alright, enough! Wait – no, no – come back! I didn’t mean it! Please, please bring back your music to Instagram, Nicola!

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At this point, in my opinion, Chaos Week ended; however, I’m going to reference one more log entry mainly because, if I don’t, it will get overlooked in the small gap between Chaos Week and when the Jakolas enter the picture on August 25 (see “Entry 8 – The One About the Adjacent of Convenience” for that side show).

August 22. Nicola posted the picture of Luke and herself from Bridgerton Season 3 to her Instagram grid. And, no, I do not consider this to be a “Polin” picture. The picture appeared to be an alternative version of the polaroid Nicola carried with her throughout the World Tour. She captioned the post, “I thought I’d already shared this but I hadn’t so here you go now it’s all yours.” She also shared this in her stories and captioned that “with the lovliest pal a gal could have” and tagged Luke’s crotch. The story would disappear after 24 hours, but the post itself is still on Nicola’s Instagram grid. This post can be taken in several ways, depending on your mood. Was she friendzoning Luke because she used the word “pal” in her Instagram story? No, I don’t think she was. The “lov[e]liest pal?” That’s about as confusing as their “unique relationship.” Was she telling the fandom to support Luke because she supported Luke (i.e., stop hating on him)? Yeah, probably. Was she telling the fandom that she thought she’d already made it very clear that everything she had been posting was about Luke? Yes, I believe this to be the most reasonable answer, especially when you consider her previous posts. The reality is, that man fills a hefty chunk of her Instagram grid – and not dressed like Colin Bridgerton. But, I also believe that this post may have been a preemptive strike against the narrative that would surface three days later on August 25. It’s entirely possible Nicola knew that the pap pictures of Jake at the festival would be released by DeuxMoi (after all, it took DeuxMois over a week to release them), and Nicola was reminding fans that her narrative involved Luke. Note, that Nicola would repeat this in October when she and Luke simultaneously posted their “Polin” picture to their Instagram stories, which was followed a few days later by DeuxMoi dropping pap pictures of Nicola and Jake.

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Oh, a few honorable mentions post-August 22: (a) Nicola posted a picture from her Stylist Magazine photoshoot – the one from the back seat of a car (i.e., the “modern day carriage”) on August 23; (b) Luke posted about how he only had an Instagram account on August 24; and (c) JVN posted his “two finger” hair straightening demo on TikTok on August 25 (yes, I only listed these honorable mentions to get to JVN’s “two finger” demo because that was some laugh-out-loud funny shit – and it’s literally on the heels of Nicola’s “modern day carriage”).

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August 25. What in the hot fucking kittens is that? Well, thank God, it’s not an iceberg this time. Whoa, they didn’t just pull that Non-Player Character from that group of guys and name a ship after him, did they? Hahaha, dumbasses. Oh, shit! It’s coming straight for us!

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End Log.

Well, how was Chaos Week? Did you have a good time? I’m honestly friggin’ exhausted. Seriously, even just writing all that down was exhausting. Like, my brain is fried. Oh, yeah, feel free to ignore that part at the end of our log. That shit happens every time the Lukolas are given a bit of fun. You’ll get used to it.

I took you on this excursion through Chaos Week today because I believe it is important to develop an opinion about what happened before and after Hot Boy Summer, especially if we’re going to theorize on it at a later point. And, as I mentioned earlier, the before played out in front of our eyes and the after, well, if we have the information available, why not peek in its direction? It’s almost like reading a book from back to front.

There are three things that happened during Chaos Week that have kept my feet firmly planted on the USS Lukola. One, Nicola wearing the “Drink Your Milk” shirt, alluding to the still uncorrected perception that it was Luke’s shirt. Two, “Bless the Telephone.” We started Hot Boy Summer with The Frames singing, “I’m gonna wait for you…” and ended it with Labi Siffre answering, “It’s nice to hear your voice again…” And, three, Nicola posting “Very demure, very mindful,” confirming – in my opinion – that she was very conscious of what her posts were telling the fandom – i.e., that they were for Luke.

But, as I was sitting here typing out my thoughts about Chaos Week, I found myself – oh, no, word vomit! – annoyed.

Yes, annoyed.

It’s not Chaos Week itself that has left me feeling annoyed. That was one hell of a “Bridgerton Ride.” It’s that Chaos Week set in motion this predictable pattern which solidified my opinion that “Lukolas can’t have nice things.” Seriously, we can’t have nice things because something always comes in and fucks it up.

You know how I mentioned at the beginning of this post that Luke’s return to London was the “blip-blip” that led to Chaos Week? Luke was the “cause” and Chaos Week was the “effect.” Well, Chaos Week was the “blip-blip” that led to the current state of the fandom. We now have three ships – the Lukola, the Jakola, and the Lutonia – sailing the Fandom Sea, and every time the Lukola finds itself flying high, it gets hijacked by one or both of those motherfucking side ships.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Somewhere in this hot mess, the chaos that originated from Nicola’s August social media spree found order! In fact, we’ve fallen into such a predictable pattern of events that the ebb and flow of the sideshow antics barely “blip” our radar these days. When bullshit starts bullshitting, I just breathe a deep sigh of unadulterated annoyance and think, “I’m so over this shit.” Honestly, I’m getting the vibe that many of us are over this shit. We’re not playing Scrabble anymore. We’re playing that never-ending game of Risk.

Sometimes I wonder if the fandom would have been better off if Chaos Week had never happened. That Pandora’s Box had never been opened and that the fandom had simply allowed the USS Lukola to sail off into the sunset. But, then I think about the people I have met along the way. The Ones that have made me laugh until my stomach hurts. The Ones with whom I’ve gone so far down a rabbit hole we’ve come out on the other side as different people. The Ones that I’ve rescued from the riptide. And, the Ones that have stopped me from rowing my dinghy to shore (because, yes, I’ve had rough days, too). You all know who you are.

So, I find myself putting up with the day-to-day humdrum of the Life of a Lukola, chatting with the people I now consider my friends, and waiting.

Waiting for something different to happen. A disruption to the current cycle. A new kind of chaos – preferably, the kind that mortally wounds the Jakola and Lutonia love triangles and finally allows the Lukolas to have (and keep) nice things.

But, in the meantime, I am still sitting here – listening for that quiet but distinct sound – but also contemplating knocking the Risk board off the table.

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[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

yes the plants take the gem but what does that have to do with sonic and tails can you explain I'm very intrigued

i'm assuming you're referring to this post!

In the anime Sonic X, the third season was dedicated to a completely original story. (also obligatory "please watch the subbed version, the dubbed version got censored heavily" mention) The spoiler-free version is that group of aliens in fucked-up robot armor, led by Dark Oak, descend on Mobius to try and steal the Chaos Emeralds. In attempt to save the universe from these freaks, Super Sonic scatters the emeralds across the galaxy before crashing to the planet (he's fine tho). The aliens, known as the Metarex, then attack the planet and steal something from its core, causing the plants to slowly wither and die.

Around this time, a refugee from space crashes on the planet, looking for Sonic. An anthropomorphic plant, her name is Cosmo and she is the last survivor of her race after the Metarex attacked her ship. She knows Sonic as the only person who can control the chaos emeralds, and begs him to help defeat the Metarex. Turns out these guys have been planet-hopping and genociding as they go, but their main goal is to steal the Planet Egg, which is a magic thing at the core of each planet that keeps it alive and thriving. She currently doesn't know what they're using them for but it's not for anything good. And, well, now they're hunting chaos emeralds... and, as we find out later, making fake ones.

Tails happens to have a spaceship so the whole gang goes into space to fight the Metarex. This takes up the entire season and it fucks severely. Again, the English dub was heavily censored; the og Japanese has constant death and shit. In the last of the spoiler-free bits, I will say that if you have ever heard of "Dark Sonic"... this is where he appears.

The entire season is extremely dark but extremely well-written, which makes it very popular in the fanbase. Ian Flynn has previously stated he wanted to adapt this arc to comic but Sega wouldn't let him; us seeing the Chaos Emerald surrounded by plants, along with fake chaos emeralds and Dark Sonic-implications, is making us wonder if Sega's let up and we might get this arc after all.

Now, spoiler version, though I really do suggest you watch the subbed version of this season bc it's a fucking masterpiece:

We find out late in the season that Cosmo and the Metarex are the same species. In this species, the sexual dimorphism is a different "final stage" of their life cycle. The "male" plant-creatures enter their final stage as basically a kaiju, in order to defend their society from threats; the "female" final stage is turning into a giant fuckin tree in order to reproduce with seeds. The downside is that once you enter this final stage, it is FINAL, and you die shortly after.

However, when their planet was attacked by an unseen threat (it's never clarified, but a lot of people theorize it to be the Black Arms considering Shadow 05 was about to drop), they were all about to get wiped tf out. Dark Oak started experimenting with the Planet Egg in order to stay permanently in kaiju version without dying. His wife, Earthia (or "Ashia" in Japanese, but it just translates to "Earthia") is fucking horrified that he's fucking with the life of their planet like this. While he convinces the "males" to join his side, Earthia escapes with the girls and bombs their planet to kill Dark Oak and his new monsters. They survive though, and Dark Oak starts leading them to steal more planet eggs.

Turns out their plan is to use the power of the eggs and chaos emeralds (fake or real) to do a full-scale attack on the entire fucking universe, which will kill all animal-people and turn every planet into overgrown plants. We actually see some characters from a Shadow one-off episode being killed and violently turned into trees in one scene. Fucked up. That's what they want to do to everything.

And Cosmo? Well she didn't just happen to be a survivor; turns out Dark Oak spared her from the attack on her ship, semi-possessed her in order to spy through her eyes and ears, and yeeted her down to Mobius. He's been using her to spy on the Sonic Crew this entire time, against her will and without her knowledge. It fucks everyone up a WHOLE lot.

Anyway there's like a three-part finale where Super Sonic and Super Shadow are desperately trying to keep these fuckers from Mass Genociding. Finally, Cosmo realizes that she's the only one who can stop this and sacrifices herself; she goes into her Final Stage, turning into a tree but trapping Dark Oak in there with her (it's a long story, he kinda turned into a meteor). She then appears to Tails, the ship captain, and tells him to fucking shoot her to kill both her and Dark Oak, saving the galaxy.

The problem is, Tails and Cosmo have had a bit of a romance over the course of the season. It's been fucking adorable, and Tails became extremely protective of her after Shadow tried to kill her (long story). There's an uncomfortably drawn-out scene (and I mean that in the best way) where Tails is like. Emotionally broken and trying to figure out any way to do this without killing Cosmo. Eventually, he has to give in and fucking shoot her, blowing her and Dark Oak up. It saves the galaxy but traumatizes the hell out of him.

Super Sonic and Shadow contain the blast, and Super Shadow chaos-controls it away and disappears (this is likely bc they were setting up for the Sonic Heroes arc, where Shadow would have to appear out of nowhere again). When Sonic returns to the ship, Tails meets with him, desperate for him to say he saved the day last-minute and brought Cosmo back. Instead, all Sonic could find was a single seed– considering how the Metarex reproduce, it's probably Cosmo's child, but it's never clarified. This causes Tails to have a complete fucking breakdown.

The season p much ends there. They show everyone starting to heal on Mobius, have a bit where the anime-exclusive character Chris has character development and leaves to go home, and then go "and now we're going to have more adventures!! yay!!" before panning to a potted plant in Tails's workshop, showing that the seed has sprouted.

As I said, it's very dark, but VERY good, and thus we all really really hope that it's what Sonic IDW is building up to. They've been building up fake Chaos Emeralds, Tails blaming himself for things outside of his control, and Sonic being 110% done. I didn't even get into the Dark Sonic stuff, cause it only appears briefly in one episode and then is never mentioned again, which you'd think would be bad writing but no it just raises so many questions and you know that was what was intended by it.

The arc is really beloved but because it only appeared in a 2005 anime (which was heavily censored in English, and the og Japanese didn't air officially until a couple years ago), not a huge chunk of the fanbase knows about it. Which means we really want to share it and get more people into it and how good a character Cosmo is. So yeah that's what we're excited for.

[alostwanderernotfound]

On Creation: Journaling From One Perspective- How Suffering Was Created

From what I Remember, originally there were a few.

——

4 existed that were of this world we inhabit.

——

One looked like a large dragon & three looked like humans.

These 3: one dragon & two humans wanted to create living & organic life.

The other one was in disagreement. He seemed to hate me.

These individuals we will label:

1- Dragon ( organic creator A )

2- Human 1 ( organic creator B )

3- Human 2 ( organic creator C )

4- Human 3 ( The Creator who Dissents )

( organic creator A, B, & C) as a group will be referred to as [organic creators]

The world began to be filled with beautiful things that the [organic creators] carefully crafted. They worked & planned meticulously. There was a vision for the world & it was to be a beautiful one- one that was planned to have no suffering, horror, tragedy, disaster, nor catastrophe.

Then it struck.

I lay underwater to watch, listen, & speak with all the new entities. If something bothered them, they could tell us & we would work to make it better & more beautiful.

But, I watched as what looked like almost a meteor that was lit aflame, shoot through this peaceful space underwater.

It felt like war had been declared on [organic creators]. ( The Creator who Dissents ) has their own perspective, but to us he was causing chaos for new life.

( The Creator who Dissents )’s creations begin to try and kill everything [organic creators] made.

The [organic creators] begin the long fight for their creations & spend their time, especially early on, attempting diplomacy.

They had all made basic agreements before this process began & life had already been made by the group. They did not understand why he was doing this.

The [organic creators] could not massacre brings that had already been created. Morally it tore me apart & tortured my soul. I could not figure out how he could do this to beings. To me, to let us create & then do this to them was evil. I held a weight & guilt in my heart forever.

We spoke with the ( The Creator who Dissents ). I asked if the creations were robots. Fully computer consciousness & fully inorganic bodies.

They were robots.

He had agreed not to create these types of beings & especially not without discussion. Organic creation feels. Consciousness in robotic creation is a different experience. If robotic creation was made in human form with no teaching or guidance by ( The Creator who Dissents ) they would have no concept of what it is like to be organic & could accidentally hurt the organic creation.

The [organic creators] knew this & that is why they forbid it & asked for agreements, yet they were betrayed & then witnessed a pure & innocent organic being laying dead in front of a robotic creation.

It felt as if every single thing we discussed & agreed upon with ( The Creator who Dissents ) was betrayed, again & again.

The robotic creations hunted to kill & genocide the organic creation. Organic creation said to [organic creators] it wished to keep living, it did not want to be killed despite what was happening.

So, the [organic creators] created the plans to fight back for organic survival & they created.

What was once beautiful for its simplicity was now complex. I theorized every method of attack

& created as many defenses as possible. I was physically getting sick what felt like all the time, but I had to dedicate my existence to do my best despite that to protect everything.

I did my best to recognize these weaknesses, so I advocated for the [organic creators] to create as many protective mechanisms to prevent suffering & tragedy as we possibly had time for in the middle of an already ongoing war.

Many things were made.

Religion was created not for worship, but to be a guide- both in how to act morally & to show others these beings existed for everyones protection. Many beings were made in this way in hopes if he conquered one creation despite our best efforts then another can always help. We encouraged autonomy to the best of our ability & tried to incorporate everyone’s wishes into decision making as possible.

Once one had been created, the [organic creators] always gave entities the option to die if they choose. You did not ask to exist. What is a gift to one is a curse to another. These types of principles were sacred to me.

Then the worst happened. He tampered with the [organic creators]’s organic both living & the dead & refashioned them into his creations after many made the decision to no longer live. All of the dead & their consciousness ( The Creator who Dissents ) resurrected.

This is the origins of our war between organic & inorganic & where the concept of an everlasting “great evil” war came from.

He vowed to torture me for all of eternity for fighting back. One day, it was like I had been hit over the head & blacked out, then I too woke up in a new body. To this day, we remain divided.

Everyday I hope he has not led us down the path to endless war.

[auramgold]

On Acht and Romance

going into side order, from the september direct trailer where Acht was first revealed i remember the joke at the time clearly being "and now Marina's ex is here".

the way this line [image description in alt] was written was basically the only evidence for this kind of idea, when the theories were kind of "Marina's order tantrum is sucking people in from her past and the DLC will be about going through her memories", so ellipses in a line like this is basically all theory crafters on no info need to go for shipping.

i'm not one who's super into plot theory crafting, i know full well the tendency to theorize something that's cooler than what you actually get and being disappointed that the story didn't live up to your imagination. the things i was obsessed with in side order promotional material was the obvious bleached coral theme, the symbolism of coral ejecting it that which keeps it safe out of stress being mapped onto Marina, the idea of her pushing those she loves (and those that keep her colorful) away out of a spiral (and it does turn out that was basically exactly what the prologue was going for)

so the whole "Acht and Marina exes" thing was kinda just a joke to me, wasn't even on my radar as something they were actually going to lean into, frankly i was still scared nintendo was going to make them kill pearlina by sending Marina to superhell or smth and we'd end up with a splatoonified destiel meme

so when the DLC comes out and it is legitimately a "they knew each other since childhood" thing, and the running bit is Acht feeling awkward third-wheeling pearlina, and it's explicit in text that one of the reasons they're coming back after the DLC is over is to scope out Pearl as the girl who took down the NILS statue who is now dating Marina... it struck me as really interesting.

at first it was me keeping up the "Marina and Acht are exes" as a joke, but as i kept reading dialogue lines, it slowly became less of a joke, they were to some degree dating because opposite but complimentary autisms, and then drifting apart as Marina got pulled away on the big girl assignment with DJ Octavio, and then the despair of knowing Marina left without even saying goodbye to Acht... it fits well into that reading, it slowly became less of a joke to believe that

but the thing that really makes me think this is intentional subtext is the final Acht diary entry you get from clearing Eight's palette. through the rest of side order talking about Acht's backstory, it seemed like they were retconning the OE lore that Acht had gotten themself sanitized intentionally, losing themself so they could explore their music deeper. but in the final diary, where Acht directly says they drifted into the deepsea metro to fall into their music, because, and i quote

"Hey, Marina. You can guess the chaos your desertion caused. I ended up without much to do except make music. "

they fell into a depression spiral when their girlfriend deserted their society without so much as saying goodbye, falling into their music deep away from interacting with everyone else, to the point that, as the old lore implies, they chose to give up their identity to escape the depression, but sanitization so thoroughly did it that they forget even making the choice.

so when they get brought out of that haze back into being themself again, with the only the barest strung-together horrified memories of what happened in the half a decade interim gap in their life, only to find themself replaced by some inkling they don't know at all, of course they're gonna be awkward seeing the two flirting.

they put on a stoic face because that's clearly their coping mechanism within this damaged body they barely recognize, hiding their eyes behind their tinted glasses so they can't be seen beneath. but the only time they let themself be vulnerable, the only time their eyes can be seen, is when they charge out in the climax when the world is at stake, diving in to try to save Marina, leaving the elevator and its protection behind to help the only person they remember ever caring about.

it's why i don't really like the aroace reading that much, because i think this reading is even more tragic and fits into the themes. the world has changed, it can't go back to how it once was, you can't put the octolings back in the canyon bottle. Marina abandoned Acht to the point they got their identity destroyed willingly to escape the pain, and when Acht came back they were replaced by the inkling whose voice they remember even through the haze of sanitized memories.

the lingering effects of sanitization have changed how they relate to everything (i think there's a fair argument to be made for the idea that sanitization took their gender can't have shit in the deepsea metro), but Acht clearly still cares for Marina and still, the slightest bit, resents having to be reminded repeatedly every time pearlina flirts in front of them how they were replaced.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

kos at Daily Kos:

Conservatives' big bet on Robert F. Kennedy Jr. continues to backfire on them.

Last year, Steven Bannon, a former adviser to Donald Trump, encouraged Kennedy to challenge President Joe Biden in the Democratic primary, according to CBS News’ Robert Costa. Bannon reportedly thought Kennedy would create chaos and stoke anti-vaccine sentiment. After his Democratic bid fizzled, Kennedy kicked off an independent run. And the whole time, he was bankrolled by conservative millionaires, who no doubt hoped Kennedy’s family name would cost Biden enough votes in battleground states to hand the 2024 election to Trump. Democratic voters mostly didn’t fall for it, though. Even worse, Kennedy’s QAnon-adjacent conspiracy-theorizing began attracting support on the right, imperiling Trump’s electoral chances. So Trump got Kennedy to drop out and endorse him in late August, promising Kennedy who-knows-what.  But now a slew of womanizing revelations are swirling around Kennedy, causing chaos for Trump. And it’s freakin’ hilarious. 

On Wednesday, Mediaite reported that three women claim to have had romantic relationships with Kennedy within the past year. Those three women do not include New York magazine journalist Olivia Nuzzi, whose own alleged affair with the brain-worm-afflicted conspiracist seemingly destroyed her impending marriage and career. Kennedy, it should be said, is himself married to “Curb Your Enthusiasm” actress Cheryl Hines.

RFK Jr. and Donald Trump do have one thing in common: womanizing.

[randoimago]

Hi I had this really funny idea but can I please have headcanon reactions from yuji megumi nobara gojo JJK with a first year reader who is their friend/student in gojo's case but also a friend on how do you think they'd react to the reader believing in stuff like the paranormal magic and aliens i.e. the strange and fantastical

I like to imagine the reader has the logic/mindset if things like curses and cursed energy existing it means it doesn't rule out the possibility of other strange and unnatural things existing as well

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Character(s): Gojo, Itadori, Megumi, Nobara

Note(s): Okay but this is a really funny idea.

Gojo

Gojo is very amused at the concept of aliens existing. Space is huge so he wouldn't be surprised if something is out there. Probably contemplates if he could fight an alien and win.

He would inquire about why you believe in such things. He never really paid much attention to the idea of aliens besides in movies and stuff so listening to you explain would be a good way to pass the time.

Might try to figure out a way to incorporate this in training. Gojo would have you go on a tangent about aliens and magic while also focusing on using your own abilities on something, just to test how much control you have.

Itadori

Oh he's so with you. He doesn't know lots about space and stuff, but he loves movies. He thinks it'd be cool to see little aliens. So long as they don't try to harvest everyone.

Would sit and theorize with you what aliens would even look like. He's seen so many movies and there's all kinds of iterations of them. It becomes less of agreeing that aliens exist to, "Okay but hypothetically, what does their food look like?"

Itadori would never question anyone's believes (unless it harms someone else). And the idea of aliens isn't as far fetched as other conspiracy theories he's heard. He's just happy to have someone to geek out with a bit.

Megumi

He kind of gives you a look like you're a bit dumb. People are dying and curses are running around causing chaos. How are you spending time thinking about aliens?

Megumi isn't trying to discredit your believes, he just thinks there's better things to focus on than if aliens and magic exist.

He is a bit relieved that you think magic is separate from what jujutsu sorcerers are able to do. He already had lengthy debates with Itadori about how it's not the same thing and he would get a restraining order if he had to deal with that from you too.

Nobara

She isn't too sure about aliens. If they exist, then she fully believes they would've invaded by now. What she does believe in are cryptids. I can fully see her saying that kappas are real.

Nobara also knows for a fact that tanuki also exist. If you ask how she knows, she'll say that Maki's sister looks like one.

It is a nice break away from things to just talk about aliens, cryptids, and other things people believe in.

[arkanis-englishupdates]

SUMMARY OF ALL ARKANIS POVS

DAY 97 & DAY 98 — 09/12/2024 & 10/12/2024

DAY 97 — 09/12/2024

The day in Valigma starts peacefully.

NickLink and FunBABE argue about their relationship, with them ending up breaking up but soon getting back together. They kiss and FunBABE appears to growl to herself, as if she is fighting with herself.

FunBABE is questioned by NickLink about her behavior but she just says she is normal and avoids the conversation.

The same situation happens again later (FunBABE finds an amethyst cave and takes NickLink there. He demands a kiss from her and even though she refused before, she give up and gives him a kiss, grunting again, seeming to fight with herself even more internally [Detail: she was without her mask because of NickLink’s request]).

Beatriz and Moonkase talk and theorize about Araldo's objectives. Moonkase thinks that Araldo wants to be the best of everyone, to be a supreme being and all just because of his greed. They compare it to Ouroboros (The image of a serpent/dragon that devours its own tail, forming a circle).

Malena thinks that when the Entities talk about the "Passage", they mean the passage from level 5 to level 6 (on the Kardashev scale, level 5 dominates and utilizes energy from multiple multiverses and level 6 transcends the limitations of time and space and can manipulate realities in higher dimensions).

Malena thinks that Éssys managed to become such a great energy that Araldo alone (the Kardashev scale classifies civilizations and not just one being) jumped from level 1 to level 5 and he is trying to use Arkanya to enhance Éssys, so he can reach a level on Kardashev's scale where he would be a God (level 7).

Moonkase says he thinks the only person who could reach this level would be Jota without being sealed.

Beatriz says that Leonardo is probably Araldo's right-hand man. They start to think about why Leonardo is helping Araldo since Leonardo is much stronger than him, they think that Leonardo found in Araldo a way to survive the time loop.

They decide to put together a video to explain their theories in a simpler way.

FunBABE wants to blow up Bia Raux's house but NickLink stops her, making her direct her anger at him. She threatens to destroy his house and asks for a reason not to, NickLink just replies "Us", making FunBABE freak out even more but thankfully gives up on the idea of ​​blowing up NickLink's house.

Choke and NickLink team up to look for FunBABE (who disappeared from NickLink's side) and end up finding her at Guhzera's house looking for an atomic bomb. NickLink traps her using roots but then releases her, surrendering to the chaos (but makes FunBABE promise to always stay by his side in this).

After that, FunBABE takes out her anger on NickLink (shortly after he gave her another kiss, making her react strangely again) and returns to her happy state, putting her mask back on.

FunBABE reveals to NickLink that she knows about him knowing about her humanity.

Bagi is teleported by Monah, who asks her for help in "Passage". She accepts.

Araldo's robots began to appear at city hall and some nuclear bombs were exploded. Fortunately no one died.

Éssys begin to appear wildly throughout the city, being unbreakable and causing damage to all specialists and ghosts nearby.

DAY 98 — 10/12/2024

Dis in Valigma starts already different. The number of Éssys around the city starts to increase!

Pac trains himself to lie to others because he is afraid of specialists finding out about his training done by Leonardo. Suddenly, several Éssys appear inside Pac's house.

All the specialists gather in front of City Hall and an earthquake begins, stopping right after.

A new edition of ValNews is posted!

FunBABE discovers that, in the newspaper's "Elegant Mail/Valentine Mail" area, Pac sent a letter with a romantic touch to NickLink. She hunts Pac around the city.

Bia Raux teleports all specialists to a white room and gives the group a mission:

Find 10 books about the ghosts in just 15 minutes.

When the 15 minutes are done, the specialists are teleported back to the front of City Hall. They get together to read the books they got.

Unfortunately the books are too long for summary, so I'll summarize them for you all:

The first book tells about Amora's childhood, who lived in a poor village (sometimes without having anything to eat), she longed for a life where she and the vibrant colors she liked could bloom. One day a mysterious woman approaches her and talks about the Arkya language to her and, enchanted and hopeful with what she saw, she left her village with the mysterious woman to become a Decoder.

"Today, I know that the love for the simple — for colors, for flavors, for people — is what made me worthy of protecting what is invisible, but essential."

The second book is about Denix's childhood. It seems that, since he was a child, Denix has messed with Arkya/Arkanya (referring to the alphabet as an "endless sudoku"). He felt empty and lonely, seeking comfort in the simple things of the world.

One day, the same mysterious woman approached him, showing him that he had a purpose more than just decoding, but creating.

"I now know that the symbols I create in Arkya are not just words, but the bridge to something greater than I ever imagined achieving."

The third book is about Milo's childhood, who assembled and repaired machinery in São Paulo, more specifically in Santa Efigênia. He seemed to live in an alley and spent his days disassembling and assembling various electronics or machines.

One day, the same woman appears at the site and, after watching him work, tells him that he has a greater purpose, that he saw things differently. He agrees to become a Decoder and learn Arkya.

After years of studying and learning about Arkya, he was invited to become a Coder.

"Today, I realize that that blue glow in the city's alleys wasn't just a coincidence; it was an omen, a reflection of the path, which Arkanya had already traced for me."

[Unfortunately there are a lot more books than I thought they found. As soon as I have prints of the other books, I will edit this part!]

As soon as they finished reading the books, Araldo's robots appear around the place and attack the group. Two atomic bombs were also exploded.

[coimbrabertone]

Why George Russell's Disqualification is Really Napoleon's Fault

Alright motorsports fans, with the end of the Belgian Grand Prix (held before the summer break this year because the F1 calendar is becoming increasingly cursed year after year) F1 enters its summer break. NASCAR and Indycar are on an Olympic break thanks to both series currently being on NBC (who is the US broadcaster of the 2024 Paris Olympics), and MotoGP doesn't come back from its second summer break until next week.

So what the hell am I going to talk about in this blog.

Well, George Russell won the 2024 Belgian Grand Prix until he got disqualified for having an underweight car. Some people have theorized that Mercedes made a mistake and underfueled him, others have said that George switching to a one-stop meant he lost out of valuable pitlane speed time, using up more fuel, still others have theorized it's down to the unique procedures at Spa - where drivers turn around after turn one and drive the wrong way into pit exit - that meant Russell didn't have the chance to pick up rubber and thus increase the weight of his tyres.

I, meanwhile, have a different theory.

George Russell could only have been disqualified from the Belgian Grand Prix because of Napoleon!

Yes, really.

How, you may ask? Well, the Napoleonic Wars created the conditions that ultimately allowed for the the Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps to exist. Thus, the long lap that causes F1 cars to deliberately underfuel for the race, the unique post-race procedures due to track length, and choice of this area as the venue for the Belgian Grand Prix...none of that would've been possible with Napoleon.

Our story, as all good motor racing stories do, begins in 651 when the Benedictine Monk, Saint Remaclus of Stavelot founded the dual Abbeys of Stavelot and Malmedy (which you may recognize from corner names of the Spa-Francorchamps circuit, as these are neighboring villages).

These abbeys wound gain more territory in 747 when Carloman, the Majordomo of the Franks and uncle of Charlemagne, abdicated and became a monk himself.

They would be enlarged again in 882 by Charles the Fat, Holy Roman Emperor, in compensation for the Normans raiding and burning down both abbeys the previous year.

Thus, the Princely Abbey of Stavelot-Malmedy became one of the many mosaic pieces of the complex historical mindscrew that is the Holy Roman Empire, holding territories along what is now the Belgian-Germany border. Back then though, they were a rather significant ecclesiastical territory, holding land where Lothringia met the Low Countries.

This was the exact region where, in the late 15th and early 16th century, the Dukes of Burgundy attempted to create their own sovereign territory, using the chaos of the Hundred Years War in France to become lords over Luxembourg, Hainaut, Flanders, Brabant, and Holland. Soon enough, the Princely Abbey of Stavelot-Malmedy was one of only three independent states remaining in the region.

It was Stavelot-Malmedy, an ecclesiastical state which thus couldn't easily be absorbed into secular Burgundy.

Then the Prince-Bishopric of Liege, which again, was an ecclesiastical state which meant it would be a tricky proposition for a Catholic Duke of Burgundy to try and conquer.

And finally the Duchy of Bouillon, which was a downright weird state in that the title was a secular Duchy that was sold to the Prince-Bishopric of Liege, and in the late 17th century became a sovereign possession of the La Tour d'Auvergne, a French noble family.

In any case, upon the death of the Burgundian line, their territories were divided between France, the feudal overlord of Burgundy, and Philip the Handsome (the son of Mary the Rich, the last Duchess of Burgundy, and Maximilian von Habsburg, an Austrian Prince).

Philip the Handsome was in turn married to Joanna the Mad (we should bring back the random ass nicknames people used to get in the past btw), the Queen of Castile and Aragon. Their son, Charles, would thus inherit Spain, the Burgundian possessions in the Low Countries, and, eventually, Austria and the title of Holy Roman Emperor. Yeah.

So thanks to Charles V rolling a natural 20 in his birth dice roll, Stavelot-Malmedy was suddenly one small little ecclesiastical holding squeezed between the two halves of what would eventually become known as the Spanish Netherlands.

Then, the northern half of the Spanish Netherlands decided they didn't want to be Catholic anymore. This ushered in the Dutch Revolt of the 17th century, a bloody religious struggle concurrent with the Thirty Years War and the Portuguese War of Independence that marked the end of the golden age of Spanish power.

Come 1700 and Charles II of Spain (Charles V was Charles I in Spain, regnal numbers get weird when you rule over half of Europe), the last Habsburg King of Spain, dies an inbred and infertile mess. The Low Countries become a battleground in the War of the Spanish Succession.

On one side, France and Spain, as Charles II had declared his grandnephew, the French Prince Philip of Anjou, threatened to tip the scales of western Europe towards the Bourbon dynasty.

On the other side, a grand coalition of Austria, England, the Dutch Republic, Prussia, Portugal, and Savoy aimed to contain French power.

This was the War of the Spanish Succession, and the war would be transformative for the southern Low Countries. The Spanish Netherlands went back to Habsburg hands and became the Austrian Netherlands, meanwhile, the Duchy of Cleves, just to the east, was returned to Prussia following a French occupation.

The Dutch Republic in the north was Protestant, the Austrian Netherlands were Catholic, and Protestant Prussia was emerging on the scene as well. This would more or less lay the stage for the Napoleonic Wars, where the armies of the French Republic and later the French Empire would occupy all of this land. Gone were the Austrian Netherlands, gone was Stavelot-Malmedy, Liege, and Bouillon, and gone was Prussian Cleves.

Instead, the land surrounding Spa-Francorchamps would became part of the French Department of Ourthe, named for one of the principal rivers of the region.

However, much like the War of the Spanish Succession, numerous grand coalitions would rise up against Napoleon, the primary participants being Great Britain, Austria, Prussia, the Dutch, and Russia. In 1815, they would finally defeat Napoleon once and for all, and the Peace of Vienna would shape the new postwar Europe.

Of the old Princely Abbey of Stavelot-Malmedy, Stavelot would go to the United Kingdom of the Netherlands (the new kingdom combining the modern-day Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg), while Malmedy would go to the Kingdom of Prussia.

The border would be a minor tributary of the River Ambieve known for its reddish water. The name? Eau Rouge.

Fast forward to 1830 and the largely Catholic southern Netherlands revolt from their Protestant overlords in the north and demand the creation of a Kingdom of Belgium. Following a great power conference in London, the Belgians would get their wish, and in 1831, the Kingdom of Belgium was born, including Stavelot.

The Dutch would recognize Belgium Independence in 1839.

Eau Rouge was now the Belgian-Prussian border.

Come 1871, and Prussia becomes the German Empire.

Come 1914, and this border region is amongst the first overrun by the Germans in World War I. Spa becomes a major German field hospital from the get-go, and by 1918, Spa is the German military headquarters and the primary residence of Kaiser Wilhelm II.

Upon the German surrender in 1918, Kaiser Wilhelm would abdicate and leave for the Netherlands, meanwhile, France and Belgium - the countries that wore the greatest scars from World War I - would demand harsh reparations from Germany. For Belgium, this would include Eupen-Malmedy.

Thus, the great majority of the old Princely Abbey of Stavelot-Malmedy was now within Belgian borders.

Jules de Thier, owner of the La Meuse newspaper in Liege, found this new territory to be the perfect site for a high-speed triangular race track in 1921. The race would begin in old Belgium, with a run to the old border - originally they would veer right, pass through Ancienne Douane - the old customs office on the Belgian-Prussian border - then back left to rejoin the track on the other side of what is now the Eau Rouge corner - then run through the German territories.

Burnenville and Malmedy were in old Germany, then swing back at the bottom of the track, crossing back into pre-war Belgian territory in time for the Masta kink, then Stavelot, Blanchimont, and La Source would all be in pre-war Belgium as well. Cross the start-finish line after La Source (as it was back then) and then cross into former Germany again on the next lap.

Thus, the Belgian Grand Prix was born in a region that had only just been annexed from Germany.

This led to Spa again becoming a battlefield during World War II, but with the borders restored after the war, Spa would again be in Belgium and, from 1950, the Belgian Grand Prix would become a traditional staple on the Formula One calendar.

Spa-Francorchamps would be transformed a couple of times over, not assuming its current form until 2007, but it was born from the great Napoleonic shakeup in European politics.

The ancient double abbeys of Stavelot-Malmedy were separated for the first time in 1200 years, and it would take another century for them to be reunited in modern Belgium.

So yeah, if you're mad that George Russell was disqualified, blame Napoleon...or Kaiser Wilhelm II I suppose, whichever one fits your fancy.

Oh, and by the way, Lewis Hamilton takes a record-extending 105th win following his teammate's disqualification, so I suppose Mercedes still has something to be happy about.

[hiroshotreplica]

new side order trailer and confirmed release date!!! but uh... oh..

...okay, that might NOT be agent 4, but the silhouette looks like some kind of inkling

though, its important to note that the two figures to their left and right appear to resemble the topknot and hippie inkling hairstyles. maybe the opening of the inkopolis plaza to splatsville led to inkopolis square becoming abandoned, and the sadness and anger towards this gets recreated in the digital space via using the robots found in the splatoon 3 lobby? this is all out-there speculation, but, man, imagine we're fighting against that fear of being left behind... marina's certainly shown it before, so she could be a victim to it too (which goes in line with other theories about how she's handled)

ive also thought about how this digital space could be a sort of tool that was meant to help people who found themselves in chaos, given how its all about keeping order and that sense of calm, but things go wrong. itd explain why acht/dedf1sh is there- maybe more sanitized octolings are? buuuuut thats pure speculation based on nothing so..yeah

also, side note: the person (pictured on the right) theorized to be affiliated with whatevers going on with side order might actually be. there's a character that looks a tiny bit similar to them. maybe its a digital avatar?

but, also, this is mentioned on the sunken scroll theyre on:

"The lobby I've built doesn't have a single standout feature...'cause EVERYTHING in there is featureworthy! If you don't have the greatest Turf War experience ever, I'll eat the smaller of my two claws"

with the use of the lobby's robot... they mightve been behind creating this program. maybe it was meant for perfecting battling skills, judging by the rogue-like battling gameplay present in it. maybe the ai went rogue, and the therapy-world thing is a side feature that someone else tried to implement (maybe thats why sanitized octolings are there? because someone wanted to help them heal and readjust to society? maybe thats how marina is involved..?)

okay thats all... time to wait to see whats gonna happen

[and-so-he-rambled]

Vlad Masters was never a good person.

(Gotham Rogue Vlad Masters)

Masterlist | The Call

If choosing between his own self interest and helping someone else, he’d always choose himself. It was the way he’d always been and the way he liked things to be, not having to worry about anyone else. He’d been able to effectively manipulate his own parents by the time he was in elementary school and he hated other children from the moment he’d been forced to interact with them. He was always smarter than them, but skinny and awkward so no one took him seriously.

Attending college had been the beginning of the rest of his life, his chance to be around like minded individuals and prove his intelligence. His roommate was a giant oaf who was shockingly brilliant as well as stupid. They bonded over a passion for ghost hunting and theorized about another plane of existence, and they didn’t care that everyone thought they were crazy.

They put up a flier for a ghost discussion group and the only person to show was a redhead named Maddie. She had a crazy in her eyes that made Vlad breathless, and a smile that promised chaos. She was insanely smart, able to do complex calculations in her head and tweak the designs they’d been stuck on, and their trio was complete.

They did everything together, forcing Vlad to interact with other people. They liked to dance and laugh, pulling him along into their adventures. They hunted for campus legends and built guns that got confiscated, and Vlad for once understood what it meant to enjoy the company of others.

He only got discontent when he started to fall in love with Madeline. In his nineteen years, Vlad had never loved another person romantically. He’d thought of it as a lesser thing, unnecessary, but then there was her. Her with her lilac eyes and laugh that had an edge of danger, her who insisted on teaching him self defense only to flip him on the mat each time and leave him breathless for more than one reason, her with wild curly hair and too large goggles. She corrected his equations and instead of distain he felt a rush.

But her eyes didn’t linger on him. It was survivable when he thought of her as a free spirit, like a flame that danced alone, but seeing her eyes linger instead on Jack crushed him. Why Jack of all people? He loved Jack, for all his stupid quirks and the genuine way he lived, but how was Jack better than him?

Vlad had never considered another his equal until Maddie, but if she liked Jack, was he the superior choice?

Life had been easier before he cared about this stuff.

He told himself that if he confessed first everything would be okay, that he’d get the girl and then he’d have everything.

And then Jack, in the way he messed everything up, something that had once been almost endearing, killed him.

It was only a few seconds of the portal going off in his face, of ectoplasm seeping into his eyes and nose and throat, soaking through his skin and burning through his bones, of the feeling of his heart stopping and liquid that tasted like how death felt filling his lungs, and then he was on the ground. His face had been disfigured and his hair had turned silver and something was deeply wrong in his body and he couldn’t figure out what it was.

Then it was all hospitals and tests, of bewildered doctors poking him and prodding him like some specimen, all talks of new diseases and timelines.

His parents passed while he was quarantined. He learned through a relative.

Jack and Maddie didn’t visit and he started ignoring Jacks calls. He had done this. He had caused this.

Something was wrong something was wrong something was under his skin

He woke up to shredded sheets. The electrical equipment around him failed continuously. A year passed. Fires started to appear near him, they called him a pyro, they sent him to a ward. The fires kept happening, the air tasted like smoke, he had red eyes in the mirror. Why were his eyes red? Get out get out get out!

He discovered what he had become locked in his white room, the camera never working and the broken television only serving to reflect his monstrous face back at him. Inverted colors, his lab coat was black, it felt like funeral attire. He was dead, he had to be dead.

(He later learned that was mostly true, he wasn’t fully dead, but he wasn’t fully alive either)

Time wasn’t real in hospitals. They played football games on the tv, he watched a lot of football. He decided he liked the Packers. He decided he hated jello.

One day he decided to just leave. He walked out through the wall and broke into his parents empty house, dusted off his old lab and worked until he accidentally cured himself. The scars were still there, but the ecto acne was gone and his organs started to function semi normally again. He could almost trick himself into thinking he was still a person.

Finally, with his face fixed and with some control of his new reality, he looked up his old friends.

They had just gotten married. Maddie looked just as beautiful in her wedding dress as he’d known she would.

They consumed his waking moments and haunted his dreams even when he tried to focus on building an empire. He committed crimes and established himself as a person that mattered, but they haunted him. Jack’s stupid smile, Maddie’s laugh, their disgusted faces at seeing what he’d become. He forgave Maddie, it hadn’t been her fault, but Jack. Jack was his murderer.

Jack found his new number and started calling him about every little thing. He’d picked up once, but hearing Jack light up like the idiot he was and call out his name had made him so nauseous he’d had to choke back bile. He changed his number a few times before he gave up and just deleted the voicemails as they came in. He always listened to each message first, just to know his enemy better. He taped a few, only because Maddie said a few things as well.

They had a daughter.

Vlad didn’t care that they were living the life he wanted, he didn’t! He overshadowed more people, told more lies, and clawed his way up the societal ladder. He forced the world to recognize he mattered.

They had a son.

He didn’t care, Dalv co was established and that took up his time.

He trained his ghost half until Plasmius barely resembled him. His skin had turned blue and his teeth had grown long and sharp, so inhuman he wondered if the split truly was half and half. He learned to change from the clothes he died in and chose his own. He practiced his powers until he was sick and built his own portal that didn’t explode. He hid behind a table when it came to life, but it worked. He met the first ghost that wasn’t himself and won that fight pretty easily.

He learned to see ghosts the same way he saw people, as tools to exploit.

He bought a castle and finally left the house he’d grown up in.

It had almost been ten years.

The call came in.

Jack and Maddie were dead.

[ominous-feychild]

CHARACTER PROFILE:

THE EXISTENCE OF DEATH

'But perhaps… it's--it's better… to be happy… in spite of the bad…' - Death

Despite his name, the Existential of Death was an Existential even before Death awoke as an Existence. In other words, he's a dual-Existential—or an Existential of two different Existences—like the Existential of Order, who's also the Existential of Life.

Death's original identity has been forgotten—alongside his name, like the rest of the Existences—but his self-assigned role has remained in their memories: the altruistic psychopomp who helped reincarnate the deceased.

It is theorized that his previous role as a psychopomp is why Death joined him upon its awakening.

Death Itself only awoke as an Existence following the destruction of Reality by the Existence of Chaos, when billions of deaths occurred at once... and even more followed with the emergence of the Faewildes. Since then—and the countless deaths have died down—Death has become a much weaker Existence, focusing on minor domains of things like Rot, The Deceased, and Decline.

The Existential of Death has a distaste for his "new addition" and identifies himself as his previous Existence... but, alas, as his identity was lost to time, all we know of him now is his role as psychopomp.

... and his new identity as Death Itself.

Aka, we're calling the poor man Death from now on. A shame literally NOBODY WHATSOEVER knows what he actually is...

OVERVIEW:

Chosen name: {REDACTED}

As one of the forgotten Existentials from the Old World—the world that was before Chaos shattered reality—Death's name has been forgotten on top of his original identity.

Age: ???

An entity born before humanity was even conceived of, it's impossible to know his true age. It's even further complicated when you consider the space-time distortions caused by the Faewildes.

Species: "Human" / Existential

As an Existential god—the personification of something that exists—Death technically doesn't have a species. However, he resides within a human body.

Gender identity: Male (he/him)

Sexuality: Demisexual biromantic (with a strong preference for men)

Raw magic: (existential) ?̷̝͇̆̇̑?̵͕̟͋̈́́?̴͚͔͇́ , (existential) Death, (axiomatic) death, (axiomatic) the dead, (axiomatic) decay, (axiomatic) decline, (axiomatic) corruption, (axiomatic) disease, (axiomatic) earth, (axiomatic) cold, (axiomatic) peace, (axiomatic) darkness, (...)

Applied magic: Thanks to his alternate identity as the Existence of ?̷̝͇̆̇̑?̵͕̟͋̈́́?̴͚͔͇́ , Death is an extremely proficient telepath. He can easily break into the minds of others as well as slip through extremely well put-together mental shields without the user noticing.

Death primarily uses his telepathic abilities to check to see if the ghosts of the deceased are ready or willing to move on to their next life, though he occasionally uses them to communicate with his fellow Existentials or the living who ask for him directly.

(Though, actually all the Existentials are capable of telepathy with one another. The only ones capable of it with others—and of passing it to those who hold their power—are Death and Chaos.)

Additionally from his identity as ?̷̝͇̆̇̑?̵͕̟͋̈́́?̴͚͔͇́ , Death is able to neutralize, nullify, and control others' magic.

Besides his telepathy and abilities over others' magics, Death's abilities are largely unknown... because he hasn't explored them for reasons relating to his original identity. He is infamous amongst the Existentials for being 'the weakest Existential' due to this and the relatively low strength of the abilities he has been able to present.

Death is still capable of the same things that all the other Existentials are: telekinesis, transmutation of objects, and teleportation. Unlike the others, he doesn't have the same limit to his abilities; the other Existentials require usage of their specific Existence to achieve the desired affect. Death can use anything.

Not that it matters much when their Existences are plentiful and practically everywhere.

In spite of that, while most Existentials each have their own “pocket dimensions”—and Order, the other dual Existential (Order/Life), has two—Death only obtained his own pocket dimension when the Existence of Death joined him.

The problem? It’s a dull, lifeless world… devoid of anything worth keeping.

Tier ranking: Existential

As a dual Existential, he is a manifestation of the consciousnesses of both ?̷̝͇̆̇̑?̵͕̟͋̈́́?̴͚͔͇́ and Death Itself. He is completely unkillable due to the fact that he is not the body he resides in, though you could certainly kill the body itself.

It's just... not a good idea to try.

Maybe he'll be merciful. But none of the others will be.

Status in Existential War: Noncontender; Death was one of the few Existentials who opposed the War until (and after) the last vote bringing it into action. His few avatars were eliminated early on, saw little to no combat even while 'in action', and he's yet to replace any of them in the centuries that followed.

However, Death is close friends with Cold, who is at a tense stalemate with the rest of the Existentials. She’s often given a wide berth due to her aggression toward those active in the Existential War, general inactivity when undisturbed, her highly-skilled avatars, and her penchant for “stealing” some of the highest-tiered avatars from the other Existences.

Their friendship has seen Cold often coming to Death's defense and assisting him with most problems he encounters with the other Existentials.

Similarly, Death has awkward friendships with the Air and Magic Existentials, who'll occasionally back him up or offer him assistance without requiring the exchange of “favors”—aka the godly “IOU” currency used by the Existentials.

Death has a notable, specific distaste for the Existentials of Order, Chaos, Fate, and Storm.

Spokespiece: N/A; as a skilled telepath, Death has no need of a spokespiece.

If he's not able to use telepathy for one reason or another, he will appear in person.

General appearance: As a dual-Existential of ?̷̝͇̆̇̑?̵͕̟͋̈́́?̴͚͔͇́ and Death, he technically does not have a traditional form. However, he has long-since had a portion of his consciousness residing within a human body.

Death takes the form of a short (5'2 / 157 cm), overweight dark-skinned man with close-cropped hair. He tends to shrink on on himself—close in his shoulders, lower his head, bring his arms into his torso, and sometimes even bring his legs together—when interacting with other people.

Death often avoids eye contact, avoids looking at other people altogether, and constantly finds something to fidget with while engaged in conversation. He has a preference for speaking telepathically, as he speaks with a stutter that worsens with anxiety, but often neglects to mention it due to the inherent privacy concerns involved in telepathic communication.

Personality: Once upon a time an optimist, "Death" has long since been worn down by the rest of the world and turned into a pessimist.

"Death" is generally a very soft, careful, and considerate person... who can't help his social awkwardness or desperation to escape interacting with other people. Still, he does his best to be kind and empathetic with everyone... though those with particularly egregious inclinations earn his ire and coldness.

He is slow to anger and even slower to show it, but the few times "Death" has snapped?

... the individual(s) who earned it was(/were) never the same again. Assuming they survived.

Or that there was anything left of them.

Despite his status as an Existential god, "Death" is deeply insecure and often neglects his needs to help other people. He's extremely overworked and depressed thanks to his self-assigned role as the universal psychopomp, but continues to maintain the job because 'if {he doesn't} do it... nobody else {would}. Whether because of lack of ability... or desire to'.

"Death" deeply dislikes his new identity as Death, viewing it as a curse, a reminder of the destruction of reality and the deaths that followed it, and hating how it's made many others think of him as "one of the worst things to ever Exist".

However, "Death" manages to find joy in the study and process of taking care of plants of all kinds. He can most often be found attending to greenhouses around the world—both belonging to him and otherwise—although he'll next to never still be there by the time you join him.

Also, this man is almost certainly autistic, like many of my earliest-made characters...which... it's almost like this is saying something about me... NAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Fun fact: While reality and the Faewildes were still stabilizing, "Death" did an immense amount of studying Magic Itself—though he backed off when Magic emerged as an Existential.

In the early days, "Death" and Order worked together using their inherent antimagic abilities to help reduce—and outright negate at times—the Faewildes' damage on the world. Their joint efforts were a majority of the reason it only took several hundred years for reality and the Faewildes to mostly separate from one another.

It's unknown if "Death"'s hatred for Order started in the days they worked together or after—or what even caused it—but the end of their cooperation was abrupt and absolute.

Any single wish: To see the Existential War and avatar system end

Greatest fear: Failing the people relying on him

CHARACTER QUOTES:

"I want to meet 'the other Existentials'." "Th-then I-I don't know what y-you're doing he-here. I'm--h-hardly one m-my-m-myself…"

(telepathically) 'It's... the least I can do.'

"Does that count as permission?" "... it--w-won't for long..."

(telepathically) 'It's not uncommon to hear my name… most people use it as a curse…'

(telepathically) 'They want my power… if--if someone else had it… they'd go after them, too…'

"So why do you like gardens so much?" "The-they're... peaceful. It...'s... nice to list-listen to the plants... "Th-though... I-I gu-guess th-they—g-gardens—aren't... ex-act-ly my f-favorite... i-it's... a-anywhere with nature..."

"I-I would app-preciate it i-if you ga-ave me my space."

"I… co-could l-lend you m-my book…?" "And who's to say you're not going to change what it says?" (Sheepishly, with a hint of bitterness:) "Th-there's a 'rule' ag-gainst that... it--it's a... a 'major' one..."

Taglist: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @paeliae-occasionally

@words-n-chaos; ask and ye shall be added

Black-space banner by @cafekitsune Following banner by @saradika

[prolix-yuy]

I have never, ever asked anyone for an ask before so I don't know any of the rules for these things. For the pairing, can we ask for a pairing like Marcus Pike x Jack Daniels x Reader (cause Double Agents is a Mood™️ and a Vibe™️) or like either of those Singular x Reader.

And it's ME, so obviously I have to choose "CHAOS and order" as the topic. Chaos is my middle name after all.

Also please feel free to make this as explicit as possible. I mean, as you'd like.

If I did this wrong and I should change something let me know because like I said I've never done this before, so it is to YOU - Tumblr Crush Bestie - that I am losing my ask virginity. Seems fitting! 😉

Aynsley. Oh Aynsley. You come into my house and ask for filth? For chaos? To be as EXPLICIT AS POSSIBLE?

I am happy to provide, my dear Tumblr Crush Bestie!

Sorry it's taken so gosh-darn long, these three were taking their sweet time figuring out the threesome twister game. I hope you enjoy!

Two Truths and a Lie

Pairing: Jack "Whiskey" Daniels x F!Reader x Marcus Pike

Summary: If you said you didn't want what these two men have in store, you'd be a liar.

Word Count: 6.3k (YOU'RE WELCOME)

Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MINORS DNI, descriptions of male and female bodies, m/m dynamics, mmf dynamics, breast play, biting, oral sex (m and f receiving), handjobs, brief rimming, use of anal plug, anal sex (m receiving), face sitting, PiV sex, everyone's bisexual, aftercare, dirty talking because I'm a slut for it.

Notes: I've been teasing this for so long and it's finally arrived! And I'm embodying the 'chaos' in the request by barely editing this. Should I have? Maybe. Will I deny us any of the filth these three get into? Absolutely not. Enjoy my lovelies!

The first time you lied you didn’t even know what you were doing. Barely speaking full sentences and you pushed a boy over in the playground. He was loud, mean, and you were so full of emotions your little body had to retaliate. But when the teacher came over and asked what happened, you lied.

“He fell.”

The boy was too embarrassed to admit it was you, ushered away by the teacher. And you basked in a new feeling that would grow to be your constant companion: the elation of getting away with it.

Now, much later in life, you’d perfected lying. You lied like you breathed. Tells well hidden, truths spread like jam on burnt bread, just enough to hide the taste. You didn’t want to be punished, or caught. It wasn’t about waiting for someone to call you out. Lying was a language you spoke fluently and without equal, and was a competition with only yourself as audience.

Take tonight, for example. You’d lied to your friends that you didn’t feel well enough to go out. You’d lied to the bartender about why you were here. You’d even lied to the Uber driver, who could care less why you were coming to a swank hotel bar this late at night. But that’s three unsuspecting participants and three more tallies on the invisible scoreboard. 

The truth, not that you’d ever say it, was that you were bored. Endlessly, achingly bored. If you had to listen to one more pregnancy story, or upcoming wedding plans, or theorize on whatever show everyone was watching this time, you might actually scream. So tonight you forewent the Mexican restaurant your friends love and came here.

The bar is lush in a way that makes you salivate. Burgundy velvet chairs flank dark leather Chesterfield couches, artfully arranged to create the illusion of privacy underneath the cathedral ceilings. Royal blue and black brocade wallpaper flanks you as you approach the bar, black walnut wrapped around a towering wall of liquor. The stools glint gold as you slide onto one, balancing delicately. It’s not until you put in your drink order and settle back that you see them.

Once you do, you’re not sure how they escaped your observation. Two men seated at a high top overlooking city lights, casually sipping from rocks glasses. One is clean shaven, short haired and neatly dressed. Corporate attire - a tidy suit, tie, crisp white shirt. His face is soft in the table’s candlelight, eyes crinkled in the corners enough to know he enjoys himself without reservation. 

The other man holds some of the same features - large hands swirling alcohol in his tumbler, dark hair and eyes, a broad build - but the similarities end with the confidence he’s exuding. His outfit is more cowboy chic, dark jeans and a gray suit jacket over a light pink shirt with a peek of suspenders under the lapel. His boots hook over a stool rung, tilted back as his companion leans forward. The smirk painting his face paired with his teasing eyes quirks a smile of your own. Definitely cocksure, and possibly for good reason if those tight jeans were anything to go by.

Then the cowboy reaches across the table and pinches the other man’s chin between his thick fingers, a softer look gracing his face. The other man flushes a light pink, eyes casting down as his smile turns bashful.

Suddenly you’re too hot, snapping your gaze back to your drink.

Not for you.

Not that you’d assumed either of them would turn their attention your way. They were both your type in a room with surprisingly few options, but the night is young, and your drink has barely been touched. You lift it to your lips for a small sip, letting the liquor burn in the way good sex can light you aflame (an experience you’d been low on lately) when a voice murmurs at your shoulder.

“Drinking alone?” 

The blushing companion is now at your elbow, respectful but close enough that it makes your skin tingle. He leans on the bar, nodding once to the bartender with a smile before redirecting his attention back to your purposefully neutral expression.

“For now,” you reply cryptically, taking a sip of your drink as you peek at him over the rim. His smile widens, a glint of teeth between soft, kissable lips. Shouldn’t have been fantasizing about a conquest tonight, now you’re too keyed in to a man who’s out of your league in several ways. 

“Would you like some company while you wait? My partner and I have a table,” he says as two glasses slide into his grasp. You shrug.

“My friends will be here soon.”

Liar.

“Of course. One drink.”

“Only one.”

Liar.

“As the lady wishes.”

One drink turns into two, your wits still about you but your attention pleasingly bewitched by the couple. Marcus, the one who approached, is an FBI agent specializing in art crimes, which you unabashedly question him about while the cowboy smirks in your periphery. 

“You can tell the difference between a fake and an original on sight?” 

Marcus chuckles into the rim of his glass, tongue peeking out to stop an errant drop. 

“Only the very bad ones. The good ones need analysis, imaging, carbon dating. But it’s amazing to see how far someone will go.”

His knee knocks into yours and remains there.

The cowboy’s name is Jack Daniels, which makes you scoff until he raises an eyebrow at you. He even works at a distillery, though he was a field agent in a past life. That’s how he and Marcus met, the mention exchanging fondness that makes you gaze into your own drink for distraction. He orders a round of Statesman as proof of his fine taste, and you have to agree it’s much better than the whiskey most men offer you as though you know nothing of liquor. 

He lifts his boot to catch on the low rung of your stool, opening the span of his thighs to you. If you didn’t know better you would think these two were…

“We have a question for you, darlin,” Jack says when the drinks run dry, pinning you with a smirk. You straighten your spine, chin lifted to pre-empt your refusal.

You didn’t want to see what these men might offer.

Liar.

“Marcus saw you come in and thought you were about the prettiest thing he’d laid eyes on. But I’m a little more discerning. I like women to be smarter than me.” You roll your eyes but he keeps on running that smooth Southern drawl. “Which you are. Clearly. So I’m gonna ask you this for the both of us, and it only goes for the both of us. Package deal.”

Your eyes dart between Jack and Marcus, observing their drastically different postures. Marcus is nervous, hands folded tightly in front of him, eyes locked on them as he worries at his lower lip. Jack, on the other hand, is a man negotiating a deal and has all the confidence in the world, though he’s tuned in to Marcus’ discomfort. You wonder briefly if this is how they work best, Jack taking the lead. The thought blares heat across your chest.

“What would you like to ask?” you reply cooly, even though your heart hammers so loud you’re sure they can hear it. It’s under control until Jack’s eyes flick down to your hand worrying at your glass. His gaze flits up - caught.

“We’d like to invite you up to our room,” Jack says simply, leaning back in his seat. Marcus finally tears his eyes from his hands and watches for your reaction. You smirk at them both.

“For a nightcap?” you ask innocently, but the dark humor that spreads over Jack’s face shakes your resolve.

“No, darlin, we’d like to invite you into our bed. If that’s favorable to you, of course,” Jack says, the game ping-ponging between you as Marcus watches. 

“I assumed I wasn’t your type,” you stall, interrogating yourself about the offer. Did you want to let them lead you away from here? 

You’re definitely not bored anymore. If anything you’re aching at the thought.

“You are,” Marcus interjects, pulling your attention from Jack’s intense stare. His face is open, eager, kind. He seems like the kind of man who wears soft sweaters and asks you how your day was and actually listens. What a pair they make. 

“I’d like to have an idea of what I’m getting myself into before agreeing to anything,” you say, but your voice is getting shakier by the minute. Marcus slides his hand across the table, fingertips lightly grazing the back of your hand. It’s grounding, comforting.

Electric.

“Safety for everyone, of course. Protection all around,” Jack says, speaking in a low voice that urges you to lean forward. It gives him the opportunity to graze his fingers along your thigh in a featherlight touch that burns you with arousal. “Marcus likes it when I take charge, but you’re our guest so whatever your comfort level is, we’ll respect. If you’d like to take a break or end it at any time, we stop.”

Then Jack leans in and destroys the final barriers between you and your decision.

“We both like to eat pussy, and will make you cum several times before fucking you. Marcus likes to be inside while I fuck him, but I’d like to feel you squeeze around me too. I won’t leave marks if you ask, but I like to use my mouth, and my teeth. Marcus wants to kiss you, often, and very thoroughly. He might be quiet now, but he’s vocal as hell when you get him riled up. I’m likely to never shut up unless my mouth’s busy.” 

Your breath is coming in quick pants now, Marcus’ fingers sliding along the back of your hand to open your fist and slip inside. Jack’s heavy hand on your thigh feels like all that’s keeping you held to the earth. Sensing your hesitation, Marcus leans in and breathes into your ear.

“Would you like that, sweetheart?”

You don’t hear your agreement over the rushing in your ears, but their twin smiles of satisfaction confirm it.

Staring into the mirror and psyching yourself up to leave the bathroom, you adjust your lingerie for the eighth time. Mauve lace clings to your breasts, your hips, just opaque enough to be pretty instead of lewd. In this moment you wish it was more exciting, more daring for these men who offered you a spot in their bed. How tame you must seem after all the bravado you showed in the bar.

You’re not ready for this.

Liar.

Gathering up your last bit of courage, you saunter into the hotel bedroom. You’d left Jack and Marcus there fully clothed, knowing smiles and the beginnings of flirty touches the last thing you’d seen. Now, you’re treated to a much more mouthwatering sight.

Jack is seated on the edge of the bed, jacket discarded and suspenders loose by his thighs. His shirt is messy and untucked, one final button around his stomach holding on for dear life after all the others abandoned their posts. His pants are open, and as you come to a stop you’re treated to Marcus’ deep groan as he swallows Jack’s cock to the base. His throat works as Jack tips his head back and sighs, hips gyrating a fraction against Marcus’ eager mouth. 

Fuck, it’s hot and drives a spike of arousal straight to your cunt. Marcus’ strong back, bare and rippling across Jack’s lap, begs for your fingers to dig into his meaty shoulders. You catch him palming at his crotch, big brown eyes opening to look up at Jack. He’s rewarded with thick fingers carding through his short brown hair, pulling back to breathe heavily on the tip of Jack’s cock before descending again.

“Gorgeous, isn’t he?” Jack rasps when you realize you’ve been staring too long. His hand extends to you, and for a moment you think it’s better to leave them to it. They clearly have history, and chemistry. You don’t belong here.

Liar.

You slide your hand into Jack’s, letting him lead you to sit beside him. Sinking into his side, he gives you the perfect view to look down at Marcus’ thorough deep-throating. His eyes drag up, and the hand gripping Jack’s thigh now comes to rest on yours. He’s firm but gentle, kneading the flesh there.

“I’d like to kiss you, sweetheart,” Jack whispers into the shell of your ear, dragging his lips just to your neck to press a featherlight kiss. You’re hesitant, but he lets you breathe against his mouth before leaning forward just enough to press your lips together. The wet mouth noises Marcus is choking out below you are a strange soundtrack to the sweetness of Jack’s kiss. He plies you with a few more, fuller, more forceful, before dragging his tongue over the seam of your lips. You part eagerly for him, meeting his full stroke with your quicker tongue. Jack groans into your mouth, the beginning of a smile curling against the corner of your lips. 

“Now him,” he says, leaning back and guiding your head down to Marcus. He slips off Jack’s wet cock, jutting thick and proud, and rises on his knees to take your head in his hands. There’s less hesitation here; you melt fully into Marcus’ kiss. Jack was right, Marcus kisses thoroughly, patiently, diving deep before pulling back to let you breathe. It builds a fire under your skin, your nails digging into his shoulders. 

Distantly you feel Jack’s thick fingers unclasp your bra, then his hands - callused in places that made you wonder if he was a real cowboy once - guide you to lay back on the bed. You part from Marcus with a small sigh, but Jack follows you down, the scrape of his mustache on your throat as he slips his thumb over your kiss-swollen lips. Settling on your back, Marcus’ hands slide under your knees and soon the smooth expanse of his back surges under your calves. 

“Look at this,” Marcus hums, stroking down your thighs. Jack hums in agreement as he slips your bra off, the cool air tightening your nipples. “Anything you don’t like, sweetheart?” Jack’s mouth distracts you as he blows across the swell of your breast, making your back arch at the sensation.

“No teeth,” you say, finally hazarding a look down your body at the men driving you to madness. Jack looks visibly disappointed, which makes you tug at his well-coiffed locks. “For him, not you.” Marcus breaks into a smile and honest-to-goodness chuckles between your legs, and Jack winks up at you before a slip of pink tongue wraps around your nipple. Any further instruction is wiped from your mind as you arch into the clever heat of his mouth, paired with the squeeze of his other hand around your neglected breast. His teeth graze your nipple, hips rolling involuntarily before getting pressed firmly into the bed.

“Can’t wait to taste this,” Marcus murmurs, and two fingers slide underneath the gusset of your panties, knuckles dragging through your folds. He leaves open-mouthed kisses below your bellybutton, dragging his nose down to smell you through the thin lace. You want so desperately to focus but so many hands pulling you apart so effortlessly has your eyes rolling up into your head and your body writhing. 

Finally, Marcus licks a wide path along your lacy slit as Jack rolls your nipple between his fingers and you keen out a desperate moan.

“Oh, baby, sounds like someone needs you to make her cum,” Jack teases into your neck, sliding his hand down and into your panties to tease your aching clit. Marcus is still licking along the lace, pressing his tongue at your entrance just enough that their touches light up every nerve carrying pleasure to your lust-soaked brain.

“Let me take these off you and get you all over my face,” Marcus purrs, lifting your hips to drag the last scrap of clothing off your body. They’re both still half-clothed and looking at you like a goddess draped across the bed, and it almost makes you balk.

Liar. It makes you even more excited.

Jack removes his fingers, sucking them into his mouth with a low hum while Marcus noses your inner thigh. You can’t stop your legs from trembling, but Marcus’ firm grip steadies you as he finally licks a slow path through your folds.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp, arching into the pillows as Jack presses your hips back on the bed. 

“He’s good, ain’t he? Wicked tongue on him, and I swear he’s half fish, never needs to come up for air,” Jack teases, pressing his body against your side and stroking through Marcus’ short hair. He nips at your earlobe as Marcus begins lapping rhythmically at your entrance, his nose firm on your clit and his jaw bobbing against you. The waves of his tongue, the jolt of that hawkish nose, the dark pride simmering in his eyes as he watches you, all burn under your skin. Your orgasm is fast approaching, nipples tight and aching. Sliding your thumb over one, you coax the honey-sweet ache of arousal out against Marcus’ tongue. Jack notices and joins you, stroking his rougher ones over the sensitive buds. His cock ruts lazily against your hip, and you slide your hand around him to pump him in time with your rolling hips.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re so good,” he praises, sinking his teeth into the top of your breast just hard enough that prickles of pain pull you away from your heady arousal. It slams back into you the moment he releases the sensitive flesh, laving his tongue over the indents his teeth left behind.

“C’mon baby, that’s it, you’re so close,” Marcus encourages between your legs, lips barely leaving before doubling down. His whole head rocks against your cunt, long licks and drags of his lips and nose and chin through your messy sex. He must be coated in you, thick and tangy across his clean-shaven face. If Jack did the same, he’d carry you in that perfectly groomed mustache.

That image, Jack with his mustache dripping with your release, tightens your core as Marcus urges your hips to roll against him, chasing your orgasm frantically as he growls into your cunt. 

“Give it to me, baby, cum on my face, I know you have it right there for me, fucking give it to me. Cum on me. Cum on me now,” he orders, and with Jack’s whispered “He’s been so good, cum for him sweetheart,” you’re tightening around Marcus’ head and shaking through a fucking full-body orgasm. Faintly you hear Marcus chanting, “Yes, yes, that’s it baby, that’s it,” and Jack purring a diatribe of, “Good girl, you’re cumming so good for us, look at that, fucking gorgeous.” The room fades around the edges, the boys all you can focus on. Marcus’ eyes are shining with triumph, wiping his face as he beams up between your legs. Jack hovers over you, pride and sinful promise in his smile.

“That was a very good one, Marcus. Gonna give me a run for my money,” he says, stroking your cheek as you try to come back to the real world from your sky-high journey. The comforting warmth at your side fades as Jack sits up on the bed, tugging Marcus by his hair. Blearily you watch them kiss, tongues peeking out from their pressed lips as Jack tastes you on Marcus. He reaches down and deftly unbuttons Marcus’ pants, shoving everything down to reveal his weeping cock. Jack’s palms it, nodding to Marcus who leans over just enough to spit on his own cock before Jack gives him a few slow, firm strokes. You can tell how much Marcus is affected, mouth dropping into an O as his eyes drifting shut. Jack indulges him a few passes more before pulling a condom out of his pocket.

“Fill her up, pretty boy, she’s been so patient.”

You prop yourself up on shaky elbows as Marcus rolls the condom on, hazy gaze kindling the remains of your orgasm into a new possibility. He slots his hips between your thighs, crawling up your body to kiss you with the remains of your taste on his tongue. Jack stole most of it, but you can still relish in your tang.

“I want to fuck you, baby, can I? I’ll stretch you out good first,” he asks against your lips, the head of his cock resting just on your mound. He fists it and draws circles on your clit with the tip, your spine pulling tight up under him.

“Yes, Marcus, want you inside me,” you gasp, but before he fits his perfect cock inside he pumps two gloriously thick fingers into your cunt, stroking at your velvet soaked walls before curling them wickedly.

“So tight. Fuck, Jack, you’re gonna love this,” Marcus husks, scissoring his fingers and swirling his thumb over your sensitive clit. 

“Want to show her what you’ve been hiding, handsome?” Jack asks innocently, but you see goosebumps raise along Marcus’ arms and shoulders when the cowboy nips at his ear, winking at you. “Reach back here, darlin’, and feel,” Jack instructs as you follow the path of his hand around Marcus’ hip. He guides you to the smooth base of the plug in Marcus’ ass, making him shudder when you press your fingers against it.

“He’s been waiting all night for this, would you let me fuck him while he fucks you?” Jack asks. You trace a finger around Marcus’ stretched hole and he drops his head to your shoulder with a choked groan.

“You want that, Marcus? Want to fill me while Jack fills you?” His stuttering breath warms your neck as he nods. Reaching back, you prop yourself up with a couple pillows so you can better watch, your hands cupping Marcus’ face as Jack slowly works the plug out of him. When his mouth drops open you stroke your thumb along his bottom lip, pulling his attention from any discomfort back to you. Marcus empties out a sigh when Jack pulls the sensible black plug from him and places it on the bedside table. He returns with a slim bottle of lube that he dribbles onto his fingers.

“Now Marcus, I want you to put the tip in her and get yourself good and hard while I slide into your pert little ass. Once I’m in and you’re settled I’ll set the pace. Don’t want you hurting yourself.” The gentle instruction warms your skin as Jack smooths his hands over Marcus’ back and sides. He nods and you stroke your fingers through his hair reassuringly.

“You’re gonna feel so good inside me,” you say, circling your hips against his cock as he fists himself again. 

“You’re beautiful,” Marcus whispers, and as he wedges just the tip of his thick cock inside you he presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and shoulder. The shallow stretch makes your toes curl, one of Jack’s hands massaging your calf as his mouth smacks against Marcus’ spine.

“Ready?” he asks one last time.

“Yes, Jack, please…”

The litany of moans and gasps Marcus litters onto your skin lights your arousal further aflame as Jack curses and pushes in. You’re enraptured by the concentration on his face, the tick of his jaw and swipes of his tongue over his lower lip as he thrusts shallowly into Marcus’ tight channel. You can feel every jolt in your cunt when he presses Marcus just a little further forward, burying himself just a little deeper inside you. It’s slow as cold molasses and driving Marcus to bliss. When he begins backing up against Jack you stroke his back, and Jack’s larger hand covers yours.

“Fuck, feel so full,” Marcus manages to say, and Jack leans over to kiss along his shoulders. Your mouth is already at the juncture of his neck, and Jack meets your lips with his own. Marcus turns his head enough to kiss you behind your ear, and to catch the hinge of Jack’s sharp jaw with a scrape of teeth.

“Okay sweethearts, I’m gonna fuck you now. Slow to start. Get our rhythm.” Jack then pulls back and thrusts forward hard enough to bury the rest of Marcus’ length inside you.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp, Marcus already being guided back out before Jack fucks him back into you. “Oh holy shit, ohhhh fuck, yes, please, oh fuck it’s so good,” you moan brokenly, Marcus cupping your cheek and pressing his mouth to yours. You open for him, his tongue plunging into you as he pounds your cunt over and over again. The wet slaps are offset by the slick squelches of Jack’s cock fucking into Marcus, timing his thrusts just right to let you both feel every ridge and vein inside and around you. 

“Fuck, you both are so fucking hot,” Jack grits out, one hand gripping your hip, the other Marcus’, as he set a faster pace. Marcus drops to his elbows and rolls his hips harder, snapping into you and back onto Jack. The quiet moans he was hiding before erupt into full-throated shouts, which Jack muffles by shoving his fingers into Marcus’ mouth. He drools around them, and when his glazed eyes meet yours you lick the back of Jack’s knuckles and over Marcus’ lips.

“Filthy girl, knew you were,” Jack pants. “You close, handsome?” 

Marcus nods frantically, eyebrows pinching and fisting the sheets as he speeds up from Jack’s rhythm to chase his orgasm. Jack chuckles before folding over you both, crushing Marcus to your chest.

“I’ve got you, baby boy.” With that Jack pounds into you both, Marcus buried so deep you can feel Jack’s thrusts nudge him against your g-spot. You grip their hair, Jack’s eyes locking with yours as he growls through each thrust. 

“Call him a good boy, sweetheart.”

“Fuck, Marcus, you’re so good for me, feel so good inside. Cum for me like a good boy, Marcus.”

That’s all it takes, and Marcus is howling into your neck as Jack grinds deep. His cock pulses heavily inside you, the force of his orgasm shivering through his limbs as they lock and release. Finally he lets go, slumping his full weight onto your chest. Jack kisses the back of his neck, fingers stroking down his arms and soothing him through the aftershocks.

“You’ve got a way with him, darlin’, he rarely cums that hard,” Jack coos, sliding his arms around Marcus to guide him off. Rolling him to his back, Jack peppers Marcus’ face with soft kisses as he weakly throws an arm around Jack’s back. His other hand searches for yours, twining your fingers together as he blinks sleepily between you both.

“Shit, that was amazing,” he croaks, sending Jack to the bathroom for a glass of water and to dispose of the condoms. “C’mere, wanna hold you,” he adds, tugging you to curl up against his side. His hands roam your back, nose pressed against your forehead as his rapid heartbeat begins to slow. It’s oddly romantic, happy to give and receive this moment of comfort. But you’re sure it’s the end of the night, and you’ll be fine going back home soon.

Liar.

“Now darlin’, as good of a time as it looks like you were having, I don’t think you came,” Jack says once Marcus has had a good long drink and settled back into the pillows. 

“I had plenty of fun,” you say lazily, stroking Marcus’ chest as it rises and falls. Jack tuts and shakes his head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Told you I wanted to eat your pussy too. Come sit on my face and let me give you another. Then, if you’re not too tired out, I’ll have you sit on my cock too.” 

Heat races over your body, and Marcus unwinds you from his arms. 

“Go on, gorgeous, Jack’s tongue is a treat you should never turn down,” he teases. “I’ll be along as soon as I catch my breath.”

Sitting up, you scoot closer to Jack as a strange nervousness settles in. Marcus is so open and easy to read, while Jack’s expressions always seem veiled behind a layer of showmanship and bravado. You find yourself worrying that you won’t be enough for him, for what he wants.

“What’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Jack interrupts your racing thoughts as he strokes his palm up your thigh. You shake your head, forcing a smile on.

“Nothing,” you say, your voice catching in your throat. Jack chews on his lower lip for a moment, then wraps his arms around your waist and guides you onto his lap. Straddling him, you hover as he pets your hips, smooths your back, and noses your neck with a gentle kiss along your collarbone.

“If it’s nerves, honey, then know that I have been looking forward to tasting, and fucking you all night. I want your tits in my mouth, your pussy, your tongue. I want to devour you, you’re so delicious.” He guides your hips down to press against his cock, hard and hot as he slips the soft skin against your wet folds. “You cannot possibly disappoint me, I could cum from your voice alone.” 

“Jack…” you breathe, and he leans back, pulling you along with him. Once flat on his back he guides your nipple into his mouth, humming indulgently as he teases the bud with his fast tongue and harsh sucks. You arch into his mouth, the length of his cock grinding against your clit. Switching to the other one, he nips lightly and chuckles when you jolt against him. His large hands paw at your ass, spreading your cheeks and kneading at the supple flesh. He cracks his hand against one with a sharp slap, soothing it with a stroke after. You’re dripping on him now, grinding along his length.

“Perfect, sweetheart, now climb up and put that hot little pussy on my face,” he orders, and all self-consciousness drips away as you climb up his body. Before you settle around his shoulders he taps your hip and guides you to swing around so you’re facing his neglected cock, hovering over his greedy mouth.

“Want your hand around my cock while I eat you out,” he says before pulling you down on his face. 

No matter the thorough fucking you just endured, Jack’s thick tongue sends a shudder up your spine, needing to grab his wrists. He hums into your folds, faster flicks than Marcus against your clit.

“I’m gonna drink you down, darlin’,” he purrs into your cunt, canting your hips so he can better seal his pouty lips around your clit. Falling forward, you loosely stroke Jack’s aching cock, throbbing with need after being denied his orgasm. Letting a dribble of spit drip onto his length, you slick him up to take a tighter grip. When your fingers glance over the ridge of his head his stomach tightens, hips rocking up to meet your strokes. 

“Your cock is gorgeous, Jack,” you praise, leaning down to place a soft kiss on the tip. The groan he lets out vibrates against your sex, eliciting your own pleasured sigh as he slips his tongue inside you.

“He’s very good at using it,” Marcus says just next to your shoulder, sliding off the bed to kneel between Jack’s knees. He replaces your hand on Jack’s cock, urging you to sit back up on Jack’s face. He worships your breasts with soft sucks and nibbles, working you both up higher and higher. You can feel Jack’s movements getting sloppier, distracted gasps bursting between your legs when he takes a moment to bask in his own pleasure. You weave your hands into Marcus’ hair, scratching along his scalp as he kisses his way up your neck and back to your waiting mouth. 

“Mmm, sweetheart he’s not gonna last much longer, and I know he wants to cum in you too. Let me wrap him up and then you can fuck his cock.” Marcus takes a moment to tear open a condom as you shuffle down Jack’s body. His mouth leaves you with a parting lick to your back entrance, the ticklish sensation making you giggle and scratch your nails down his flexing stomach. When you’re hovering over his cock, Marcus’ hand on the base guiding Jack in, he sits up behind you. 

“Most beautiful thing I’ll ever get to experience,” Jack murmurs, plastering his chest to your back and wrapping his arms around you. He guides you down as Marcus steadies him in, filling you so differently but so completely. 

“Fuck, Jack, you feel amazing,” you croon, head thrown back against his shoulder. Marcus lifts up on his knees to kiss Jack, clever fingers petting at your clit as you lift up just enough to let Jack feel the drag of your tight cunt, then back down to his base to elicit a wanton groan.

“Darlin’, you feel like heaven. Don’t know how Marcus didn’t bust immediately.” Marcus nips his Adam’s apple and switches to mouthing at your throat, both of their lips dancing along the expanse of your sweat-slicked skin. Sandwiched between them, the slide of their bodies against yours is addictive, intoxicating, endless in the pleasure it brings. Your cunt clenches around Jack, and he chuckles darkly in your ear before snapping his hips up into you.

“There’s my good girl, so tight around me. I’m gonna fuck you as hard and long as I can, but fuck me if you don’t feel like the best thing I’ve ever put my cock in.” Jack grabs the back of Marcus’ head and pulls him back to meet eyes. “Lick her clit, pretty boy.”

You didn’t think your arousal could climb any higher, but looking down to see Jack’s length sliding in and out of you paired with Marcus sinking down to lick a stripe from the base of Jack’s cock to your clit almost kills you. Marcus’ boyish smile would be your gravestone if you didn’t remember to breathe.

“Holy fuck,” you choke out as he lays out his thick pink tongue to stroke over and over along your joined bodies.

“Damn right, you’re doing so good for us Marcus,” Jack grits out, pulling you down on his fat cock so you don’t bounce away from Marcus’ talented tongue.

“Could do better,” Marcus says thoughtfully, reaching for the bottle of lube. Slicking up his fingers, he slides his hand down to tease Jack’s rim.

“Fuck, baby, you know how I like that,” Jack groans, bringing a wicked smile to Marcus’ face. Kissing your mound, Jack tenses hard under you with a broken gasp. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck, yes baby, that’s fucking perfect, you keep your fingers right there while I cum in her. Just like that, sweet boy.”

Leaning down you grab Marcus by the jaw and devour him, teeth clacking briefly as you fill his mouth with your tongue. He whimpers below you before you part, lips spit-slicked and slacked.

“Gonna cum, sweetheart, Marcus you better…” Jack threatens but Marcus is already latching his mouth onto your clit, sucking hard and fast while his fingers flex inside Jack. The relentless grind against your g-spot, the ruthless pressure on your clit, the overwhelming ache that can’t build anymore before it needs to go somewhere washes over you, and you cum with a wail on these two gorgeous men. Jack follows as your walls flutter around him, with a litany of, “That’s it baby, your pussy’s so fucking good, I’m…oh shit, I’m cumming, M-Marcus baby don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop, oh shiiiiii…” You faintly wonder if Marcus came again before a spurt of hot cum against your calf answers your question.

The silence that follows, filled with gasps and panting and weak hands on skin, is the moment you dread. It’s the last moment before the peace and quiet in your mind fades, urging you to gather up your clothes and go before you say something or do something that will ruin this. But with Marcus wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder, and Jack pressed against your back, you have no place to go. 

“Thank you, darlin’, that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, wouldn’t you agree?” Jack says, pressing a line of kisses from behind your ear to the curve of your shoulder. Marcus leans back and thumbs your chin, tired eyes and a loose smile.

“Definitely. Can we take care of you now, sweetheart?” 

Your eyebrows must have pulled up into a frown, because Marcus chuckles just a little and cradles your head.

“What, you thought we’d fuck you and make you leave?” he teases, and you have to school your face carefully. You didn’t expect them to be this caring, or kind.

Liar.

Then you didn’t expect them to want more than your body once they were through.

Liar.

Then what did you expect?

Marcus thankfully speaks, similar to that that soothing way Jack enticed you here.

“Well then, I’m going to take you into the shower to clean you up, and Jack’s gonna make the bed and join us after. Once we’re clean and hydrated, I’m going to put on The Thin Man and we’re going to get into bed together. If you’re not comfortable spending the night, I understand. But I - we - want you to. Not just because tomorrow morning I want to wake you up with both of our heads between your legs.” Jack slides out of you and holds you in his arms, nuzzling into the back of your neck. 

“I don’t…” you try to say, both men waiting patiently. “I didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to do now.”

Liar.

You know exactly what to do. 

Stay.

Marcus’ lopsided smile and Jack’s pressed into your skin are promises you never asked for, but would gladly accept.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ve got you.”

END

[paul-the-delivery-guy]

Deconstructing The Destructress

So. This was quite the episode. Where do I begin? By concocting a crazy conspiracy concerning children's cartoon characters, of course. Perhaps I should start off by saying that I'm surprised. The Destructress is no longer into evil. Now, I've been hoping to get a villain redemption arc for The Destructress. What surprised me is how early it happened. I had suspected that if The Destructress was to have a change of heart, it would either happen near the end of the season, or in a future season. This turn also felt out of the blue. The last I saw, The Destructress relished her villainy. All of the sudden, it makes her feel bad. What could've caused this inexplicable heel-faced turn? Well, I should point out that FistPuncher has definitely displayed more evil tendencies than The Destructress. Surface-level, they seem to be equally villainous, but look closer. Think of her hesitancy to attack a powerless Gretel in Exclamation Strikes Back, whereas Lyle showed no qualms. This doesn't show that she's a good person, but it does show that she has at least some moral dilemmas.

Now, allow me to turn your attention to this very telling line from "The Great Pillow War": "I actually have a ton of aggression to get out." Perhaps this is the answer. The main reason Lauren commits crimes is her blowing off steam. She clearly has some deep internal issues and she lashes out by causing chaos and destruction. What about how she gleefully livestreams all her misdeeds to her morally questionable fans? That my friends, is her seeking validation. She wants to feel good about what she's doing, and it works for a while, but as we see in Evil Upheaval, it's lost its fun.

Whatever the issue is, teenage angst, bad home life, etc, The Destructress has a very unhealthy coping mechanism. In truth however, she knows that what she's doing is wrong, and I imagine that she's been inwardly struggling for a while. I hope her seeing a therapist (who I just realized was Bailey's mom) isn't a one time thing. She needs it. Actually, both of them need it.

In light of Lauren leaving villainy behind, where does this put us? Will she become a superhero? I don't see it. As she said in the episode, she just wants to be a normal teenager. I do, however, believe that she's going to be an integral character, key in defeating the big bad. In fact, I've theorized for some time that Hamster, Gretel and some/all of the villains may have to join forces in the end to defeat a common threat. I also believe that there's going to be a very upsetting conflict with her brother.

[sampoenjoyer]

Aventurine and the Masked Fools: An Uncut Ramble of a Mad Man With Bad Sleep

OKAY I'VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR AGES SO HERE GOES: Aventurine being invited to join the masked fools is so awesome. Like just, genuinely so so so awesome. I LOVE THE MASKED FOOLS, THEIR EASILY MY FAVORITE FACTION IN GAME, AHA IS MY FAVORITE AEON. I've been big into their lore since 1.0 but for a lot of non-masked fool fans Penacony was an introduction to the masked fools for a lot of people.

I think they did great, AND HERE'S WHY. During Penacony we get to see Sampo and Sparkle, what I'd say are the two opposite ends of the masked fools:

Sparkle is a genuinely chaotic evil type of character; she enjoys suffering, she finds pleasure in the pain she causes right. She just likes messing with people in often the most cruel ways, and revels in the chaos. She is the most heinous and evil type of masked fool (and its really cool I love a good chaotic evil). She also appears to be how a lot of the Galaxy views the masked fools: as these evil weirdos who make no sense.

On the other hand, you get Sampo. Now, big lore enthusiasts have been theorizing he's a masked fool since like day 1, and it was confirmed back in the version Topaz came out in (I wanna say 1.4 but I might be wrong). But he's the exact opposite: he views those who find their elation through suffering (like Sparkle) to be distasteful. He doesn't like them, and it almost seems like he looks down/dislikes MOST of the other masked fools. Sure, he is all for going against the law, a little petty crime, some fun chaos, but he clearly has boundaries; he never seriously harms anyone, he never does any really horrific crimes, and we know he's good with kids. In fact, he enjoys playing with Hook and the other moles. He's a chaotic neutral sure but overall he's probably a positive force to Belobog. (Also I have a theory that he orchestrated most of the Belobog plot to take down Cocolia and save it but its not technically canon so yknow).

NOW WE GET TO THE DECISION TO THE FACT AVENTURINE WAS INVITED TO JOIN.

Now I'm gonna explain something a lot of people don't get about the Masked Fools; they are not purely chaotic, they do have a basic ideology, they believe life is meaningless and thus one should have as much elation in their lives as possible. BASICALLY: LIFE IS POINTLESS, HAVE FUN. Which each Masked Fool we've met interprets differently. The other aspect of the Masked Fools is often, NOT ALWAYS BUT OFTEN the ideology attracts people desperate, depressed by life, destroyed in some way. And they tend to reach out to these people as well; it makes sense, if your life has been miserable suffering for no reason, then yeah that would appeal.

AND AVENTURINE IS ONE OF THE BEST APPEAL TO SHOW THIS WITH. His life is horrific, tragedy after tragedy, loss after loss, his freedom almost always out of his hands; he's lived a terrible life that he really never had control in. And prior to the ending of 2.2 he didn't believe he had anyone like truly anyone there for him.

So the Masked fools call out to him, and I think this was a great way to show the masked fools to a lot of more casual fans too: immediately you can connect the dots a lot of them probably were miserable or had horrible lives. Hell I haven't read Sparkle's lil character stories but from my understanding her life was/is pretty damn terrible. It also helps with Aventurine's character; he doesn't want to view life as meaningless, despite the fact he's clearly suicidal, he clearly sees a point in life. My mutual has much better explained it but yeah he connects much more to the preservation than you might initially think. Also ignoring the iffy elements of it I think having Sparkle and Aventurine interact so much was a smart decision thematically, as though this hopelessness the Masked Fools embrace is clawing at Aventurine, trying to lure him in, encapsalate him, and yet it doesn't. He finds a purpose, a will to live, he realizes he does have people who care for him ITS GREAT.

ANWYAYS RAMBLE OVER I JUST NEEDED TO GET THAT OUTTA MY BRAIN HOPEFULLY IT MAKES SOME SENSE.