#then you'd be scared for real
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Do I think Luigi Mangione is the shooter? No clue. I do not possess the skills to find the real killer or to evaluate the authenticity of the evidence provided to the public by the police. Everything they've found seems pretty damning, but unfortunately we cannot trust a lot of what we learn right now
Do I think regardless of if he did it or not, he is in danger of being Epstein'ed? Yeah. There's a chance people in power will not want to risk him spreading his rhetoric further and would rather risk him becoming a martyr for the class war than let him be a mouthpiece. Companies are removing their executives from their websites because they're scared of copycats, but maybe if this shooter is silenced, it'll scare off some of them
#yes I said something#you can argue he is/isn't the shooter all you want#I don't know#but I'm scared for him#Boeing was fucking brazen earlier this year with their whistleblowers#anyway now is a great time to learn about jury nullification#and if you are ever asked if you'd be unable to convict#keep your fucking mouth shut#if the court asks if you're willing to consider the death penalty the answer is fucking yes otherwise you won't be on the jury#so if the court asks if you would be unable to convict#your answer is no you are not unable#(for real tho that 'must be pro death penalty to qualify for death penalty juries' rule is whack)#I'm gonna tag this with a bunch of shit so non/tired Americans can filter#sorry to add more American drama onto here#Luigi Mangione#us politics#politics#uhc ceo#uhc shooter#uhc#american politics#usa#usa news#usa politics
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wait so orin's threat to durge is that if she doesn't kill gortash then orin will kill some random kid that durge has spoken to twice and that she refused to allow to stay in her camp? that's.... that's the big threat.
#orin this makes no sense i could not possibly care less about this kid#why not kidnap one of my companions? someone who i at least mildly care about?#i mean that still wouldn't work obviously. i'm not choosing any of them over gortash.#though to be fair i do only have three left since i already killed/scared off all the rest myself#so i suppose the scarcity does make them marginally more valuable at this point#still though... a completely random child? at least put some effort into your threats dear sister. i'm getting bored.#and besides... you don't threaten a bhaalspawn with murder#perhaps if your blood were purer you'd know that#lmao#real talk though i assume the game is expecting durge to be resisting at this point and tbh orin has no leverage over an embracing durge#like whatsoever#so i guess she's just gotta make shit up but it does come off really funny
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It actually kills me that Pecco is Valentino’s #1 protege bc I kinda feel like had they both met in like…2000 (let’s say they were the same age somehow) I feel like the mutual vibe between them would’ve been kinda like…“hm this guy SUCKS”.
Do u agree? I can see younger Vale being a little intrigued by Pecco, & Pecco being a little starstuck (like younger Casey) but I just think their vibes are so incompatible. Particularly compared w the other academy boys, who I think are slightly better fits…(except, hilariously, I would also say Luca is another kind of outlier).
IDK. Anyway thank u for all your amazing answers & historical knowledge batsplat <3 I so appreciate all the time you take to answer these questions & lay out the full surrounding context to things <3
first off, thank you!! that's really lovely!! secondly. hm this is a fun one I hadn't really thought about. the thing about the young casey comparison + what his relationship with valentino looked like is that he is six and a half-ish years younger than valentino... which feeds into why he's so starstruck. that's a very different dynamic from being valentino's direct peer, I feel. I kinda think the problem you have for any italian in vaguely that same age bracket is that it's just going to be tough to handle being so completely outshone by valentino. like, let's not speculate about results here because that's a fool's errand - in terms of actual popularity, there just isn't really any rider you could put alongside young valentino for that to be a remotely equal contest. and that inequity is worse if you're italian... you're not even going to have your home crowd rooting for you, right. the media attention will be 98% focused on the other guy. melandri's a good case study here, as a guy who's just a bit younger than valentino and highly rated in his junior years, but whose own relationship with valentino seemed to kinda sour over the years for various reasons. melandri is admittedly a bit of an odd bloke in his own right and is also a bit odd in the way he talks about valentino, but he's spoken a fair bit about how tough it was feeling like nobody in italy gave a shit about him with valentino around. which must be tough! there's 'working in silence' and then there's being 'practically invisible'... and that does also inevitably affect the relationship I reckon. you have to have an ego at pecco's level - and that kind of ego would always take some bruising if you have to come up against valentino in his full pomp
in terms of their actual interpersonal dynamic, it's always important to remember valentino got on pretty well with basically almost everyone!! especially in those early years, you don't even really have the same wariness of potential rivals. like, once he gets to the premier class it's more or less 'biaggi' and 'not biaggi'. he never has any issues with his title rival in 2000, kenny roberts jr. he's always gotten on very well with countryman and 1998 title rival capirossi, who he remained good friends with even when they were kinda *hand wiggles* title rivals in 2006. capirossi should have been more of a title contender that season and could well have gone on to win that title, but he got taken out in catalunya through no fault of his own - so not really any time for tensions to develop, which makes it a bit tricky to judge what that might have done to the relationship. when valentino and him have a tight duel in sepang later that season and valentino puts on a rather stern last lap defence to win that race (got to be one of his most underappreciated rides, he has like three classic race wins in 2006 I never see anyone discuss), capirossi climbs on his lap during the podium ceremony. so, y'know. capirossi is admittedly a way milder character than pecco, but it is notable how fond he remains of valentino throughout. though unlike pecco he does play into one of valentino's core weaknesses - valentino's fondness for having a little guy around. if you shave off ten centimetres from pecco then he'd basically be set for life
that being said, I agree they probably wouldn't be particularly close lol. prime valentino is probably a little too much for pecco, like you imagine they'd be cordial but pecco's just a tad reserved and wants to assert a bit of autonomy. which actually places him in a pretty decent position for that relationship to not blow up completely in his face - you kinda feel like he'd straddle the line between not being as abrasive as biaggi and not having *gestures vaguely* whatever that was between valentino and sete. the nicky hayden principle, right - who got through two teammate stints with valentino and actually beating him to a title with that relationship completely intact. cf hayden saying that valentino never played any mind games with him, that valentino didn't change his behaviour towards hayden depending on the points gap etc. valentino might "know how to play people", but he's not doing it with just anyone
some of this does inevitably depend on how much of a competitive threat pecco is in this hypothetical timeline. and if you actually put him in the dani/casey/jorge age bracket then all bets are off. it's basically the opposite of what I was saying with casey and jorge, where you'd imagine valentino-the-mentor-figure would have been an incredibly helpful presence for those two guys specifically. the thing about valentino is that he's very adept at being both valentino-the-rival and valentino-the-mentor-figure, but those two roles just look completely different. decent mentor all things considered, considerably less fun to have as a rival. and with pecco... I mean, you're basically dealing with a less prickly less neurotic casey-type, aren't you. pecco has the edge over casey in that he's not quite as... you know. how do I say this diplomatically. I don't think pecco would spend half the season complaining about valentino 'moaning and whinging' and then feature valentino's name on his title-winning shirt, let's put it that way. even with the italian factor, I reckon he'd manage to be at least 2% more normal about valentino, which probably would also help make the dynamic with valentino a bit more normal. and I'm sure valentino would come up with some horribly inventive ways of tormenting pecco and I do reckon he's absolutely up to that task, but I don't think something like laguna 2008 specifically would be the way to go about it. doesn't feel like you could quite blow up that relationship with a single race. the thing about laguna 2008 is that it's very bespoke casey torture, like that does not hit nearly as well against any other rival. ... I just realised I spent a good five minutes daydreaming about what advice I'd give valentino to crack pecco, which. anyways. let's cut it off there. but yeah, that would've been quite a fun match-up actually - specifically because pecco is such an annoyingly excellent defensive rider. arguably better at that than any of valentino's major rivals, which given valentino's MO you'd think would throw up its own distinct challenge
where the casey example IS instructive is in reminding you what an annoyingly charismatic bastard valentino is. I kind of feel like if you can have that kind of an effect on baby casey, you probably can make any of these undersocialised brats fall head over heels for you if you have a good swing at it. there's also the interesting question of what happens to pecco if you take away the vr46 support structure (obviously we're assuming he's still making it to motogp). my sense is you take away a little bit of... not his self-belief, exactly, or even his confidence necessarily - just a sense of security, of comfort in his own skin. I do reckon it makes him a bit more casey-ish in some aspects, just a touch more brittle and likely to take things personally... but, well, obviously we are now in the realm of very far-flung speculation. idk! whatever the exact age permutations between him and valentino would be, my sense is that valentino is charming enough and pecco is susceptible enough to being charmed that it's not like. open revulsion from day one. and to some extent, pecco's canonical willingness to let valentino hog the spotlight would stand him in good stead - it's like when casey said he didn't want to be the next valentino... these aren't necessarily guys who would even want that kind of attention on them. which does feel like a different dynamic to melandri doing his own showy celebrations. they DO want to be liked, maybe more than either of them are willing to admit, they both have a similarly pronounced sensitivity to being misinterpreted - but I don't feel like pecco would be killing himself with envy over valentino's reach in italy. maybe just a little bit, because that is probably normal in that situation... but I reckon he'd work through it
anyway, yeah. my thing is I don't actually give anyone a particularly high chance of surviving valentino's initial charm onslaught unscathed and I... don't feel like pecco would be an exception to that? the closest exception is jorge, but valentino never tried to charm him - and also jorge was still aggressively deeply weird about valentino so I'm not sure that's the template. cf how jorge still not managing to shut up about how fantastic valentino's celebrations were even when they were in an actual title fight. so yeah, idk. I don't see any reason why valentino would react that negatively towards pecco, who definitely comes across more like casey than he does like jorge and wouldn't immediately register as an active nuisance to valentino. I don't think they'd be FRIENDS and maybe they wouldn't match each other's vibe particularly well... interesting question actually if they'd have better or worse interpersonal chemistry than casey and valentino. maybe a bit worse? pecco's perhaps somewhat more guarded and world-weary from day one, so maybe a tad better at just keeping his distance and playing things by ear. pecco's natural wariness would probably do him quite a lot of good there and just make sure things... maybe get a bit unpleasant between him and valentino but never actively terrible. maybe the closest analogue would be a snippier, slightly brittler version of dovi, actually. two guys who get on pretty well but just move in different circles - with relatively restrained open animosity unless the competitive situation demands otherwise
#real talk most of the academy riders aren't massively valentino's type of guy. those are his KIDS but not friends per se#the thing is. right. five guys you loathe over the course of 25 years isn't actually *that* crazy. like he was an affable fellow#this is how you get casey not-like-other-girls-ing himself into going 'well valentino gets on great with ALMOST everyone'#valentino's really great at making rivals not-like-other-girls-ing themselves so you'd assume pecco would be the same right#the only one who this doesn't happen to is jorge but. again. only because valentino disliked him from first glance. different vibe#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#//currt#//clt#//st#yknow i havent thought about this au before but i just realised i've implicitly done this in my live motogp commentary for years#every time i say a rider '[would/would not] pass the valentino test' depending on their behaviour/rhetoric in a race weekend#this is NOT a riding challenge TO BE CLEAR it's me passing judgement on how mentally torture-able a specific rider is#most recently i think was when jorge said he was 'a bit scared' of marc's late race pace. like that's not passing the valentino test#nobody will ALWAYS pass the valentino test but you've got to keep the margins respectable y'know
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I grew up playing some metroidvania Flash games (the Robot Wants series in particular is what I remember most fondly) but had never played any Metroid game up until now, so I started playing the 2D Metroids last week when Zero Mission came out on NSO and I went through them all in release-ish order (ZM as my starting entry, then NES, GB, Super, Fusion, AM2R). I absolutely loved Zero Mission, Super and AM2R (I liked the others a bunch too; imo Fusion's linearity felt justified by the story progressing as you played and also just this raw feeling of constant tension) but then I really did not like the way Samus Returns felt 1-2 hours in (of all things they kept from the GB original it was the fucking screen crunch, and the circle pad just does NOT feel good for this; movement felt wayyy too sluggish in a way that feels typical of 2.5D games to me, and the shooting combat just got completely replaced by the melee counter which I did not like) so I just kinda skipped it and moved on to Dread (which I'm still playing now) and while I enjoy the way Samus's movement feels a lot more (minus the stupid trajectory-locked walljump from Fusion), I don't think I like the game's overall design all that much.
Literally every fucking attack deals 100 damage so you don't get any room for error whatsoever during boss fights, because you can only take like 5 hits before you die; tanking your way through damage always felt like a risk for higher rewards or a way to get something you weren't meant to get earlier on, but now the numbers feel cranked up wayyyyyy too high. You don't get to try and figure out a boss's attack patterns halfway during the fight and learn AS you fight, instead, you have to die a million times when you almost figure something out but failed the execution because every single action requires you to hold three buttons simultaneously and juggle these button combos around constantly. And the game throws a boss at you literally every 10-20 minutes and locks you down one-way paths every single time so the game barely even lets you explore, like, this is literally just a boss rush game at this point and half the bosses don't even reward you with anything. Super and ZM felt like they were actively INVITING me to break the game and go against the game's intentions and even made me wish to replay the games at some point in the future to take things on differently, and I totally understand what made those such genre-defining games. Dread just completely isn't what I was hoping it would be (also where the hell is this game's MUSIC)
#Like in Fusion the SA-X can deal like 170 damage or so to you with its ice beam but that made SENSE! That was your brand new weakness and#it felt totally justified there & scared you with its power. Now some random boss will casually deal 200 and I'm like come on what is this#Also Dread just feels so padded!!!! Theres so many areas but the game doesnt want me to go anywhere unless I fight each area's bosses three#Old metroids felt so elegant with how short they were and how much exploration you'd be doing in those 4-6 hours#Same with Metroid II where every 10 metroids felt like a big milestone (25% of the game) yet a milestone you'd reach very quickly#Like it's “just” two or four bosses until you get to reach the end but the real meat of the game is the exploration. Dread is not that#metroid#super metroid#metroid dread#metroid zero mission
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anytime there's production trivia for something i've actually seen like "& the director didn't tell any of the actors this was going to happen so as to get Not Acted Surprise, from the Actors" it's like that's so funny the way i didn't ever see that part as like wow that seemed so particularly genuine to me compared to other parts of this work or other works in general. but on the other hand there'll be scenes in something where a surprising event occurs around multiple characters and there'll be trivia like "wow the way nobody (else) knew this was going to happen beforehand, in so impactful a scene, that makes sense" and then someone involved will be like that's not true
#different to Beforehand be like okay yeah so there will be an element of surprise within these parameters#like how it's different getting jumpscares in media you can at all expect them & indeed jumping; scared#vs in any format where it is a fully unexpected complete disruption of the Established Conventions / Expectations#like that one's just attacking someone but like it doesn't count anytime you do anything to people if there's no Physical Contact Violence#like spoilers it's just abt consent. even for whatever little things like well actors aren't ppl you try to prank ''real'' reactions out of#or yknow ask that to be Their strategy like well just make the feelings & behaviors Not Acting. in which case everyone will have a bad time#or even when stuff Is supposedly not entirely acting. like unscripted reality things where like behind the scenes is supposed to work#Against whomever is in front of them to like corral them into Situations that they react to as Real. ramp it up until They ramp up &c#watched a movie that was enjoyable enough the other day & good for what it was even supposed to be doing#(which other things deemed more ''objectively'' good do too but w/whatever other elements that make it Worthwhile Art by Contrast)#(stuff that's like so yeah this could be a soap opera / technique of shows/movies considered more ''fluff'' & ''unserious'' but b/c like#the subjects styles characters plotlines &c aren't associated w/things the Fluffy Feelgood Unserious Art is; this is great though#or At Least decided to be ''self aware'' with it & thus using it Savvily vs the Unaware works using it b/c they don't know any better)#anyway & i was like now some acting performances do not feel like ah so Raw Real Genuine lol but yknow. they didn't need to#sure might not be the case in a different work doing different things but in This case it was like i'm getting what i need to get from it#meanwhile even in Any works like on the one hand ethically shouldn't be trying to get ''real'' ''unacted'' shit from Actors / Performers#on the other; firmly secondary hand; that the indeed Pranked(tm) reactions vs acted ones are effectively indistinguishable anyway also#even like mild Good(tm) surprises like; yknow; context needed. does the person know they're getting one. do they like Any surprises#do they have the ability to really trust your intentions re: A Good Surprise as well as you understanding what you'd consider That. & so on
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it keeps dawning on me, on a daily basis, that i might actually genuinely be homeless soon
#the housing situation here is absolutely crazy. i don't stand a chance. it's so fucking scary#like i try not to obsess over it i try to remind myself that i have almost three months left to find something but *how* when there are#over 100 requests within less than 12 hours. *how* when i have no real job. *how* when there's no reason to let to me than anyone else#how do i not obsess over the absolute powerlessness in this situation. how do i not obsess over that#i genuinely cannot think about anything else and i have a uni report to write until monday#but all i can think is 'you'll be homeless you'll be homeless you'll be homeless and you have no power over it'#i refuse to cry in this library but someone anyone tell me how to stop obsessing and how to stop being so scared#over a hundred in less than 12 hours. i don't stand a fucking chance. you'd think this is berlin for how crazy this is#blah#not st
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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The duality of life is so crazy. I was back on campus today, I’ve been feeling pretty ancient all week because it’s been frosh week which means I have to deal with the fact that this year’s class graduates in 2028 (that’s not a real year) and were born in 2006 and 07, years that I can remember writing in the margins of a school notebook.
I'm walking around campus for the beginning-of-year campus clubs fair, and it's all, people love me, people think I'm cool, people are coming up to me saying they like my fit, in the meanwhile I'm internally getting jumpscared thinking wait; these incredibly well-dressed kids are approaching me whilst I'm shovelling fucking peanuts into my mouth out of a bag in my tote bag
There comes a point when you officially get Older and become invisible to cool young tiny things, and then you can do whatever you want because they sort of stop noticing you. I've been feeling a bit old this week, I'm at Big Person work, everyone around me is like half a decade younger, we're at quite different stages in our lives, I've been thinking. But I also have the sort of face that would pass me for a 19 y/o clearly, because these kids all have pulled me in like I'm some sort of counter culture bohemian trendsetting cool kid, and whatever the hell that means, it's definitely instantly made me feel a lot younger and connected with 'the youth'
#it's funny saying that because I am literally the exact age that you'd call youth#but if you're in a student-y area you're bound to feel old the minute you hit 22 because you're now older than 3/4 of undergraduates#fellas. I am not 22. I feel fucking historic sometimes. The kids look at me in awe because I saw Greta van Fleet live in 2019.#That was not even their first tour but these kids were 14 when that happened. I was old enough to go alone#(This is also why I have been feeling like I've got to move eventually. Student towns are great at perpetually being 21#You go to a real city and the young people are 30#Also my planned city is where all my favourite bands tour so it's a win-win#it's just I've been So Scared because I don't know anyone in said city and I work remotely out of elsewhere#Eventually I will take the plunge. Maybe next year! It'll be a bitch to rebuild but you know. Can't stay stagnant forever)#chitter chatter#I'm still a little thrown off when cool-looking people think I'm cool. My mum thinks I dress like a slob lol
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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Brother in Need (Firelight to the Rescue!) Ch. 1
ao3 link (see for tags and notes!) Summary: Amidst the illuminated streets of Nueva York, Miguel and Gabriel's evening stroll takes an unexpected turn when they engage in a heartfelt conversation, prompting Gabriel to contemplate a daring proposition.
Warnings: Spoilers for Spider-Man 2099 (1992), Suicidal themes
It was a relatively peaceful evening in the upper city, a rare break from the usual hustle and bustle of Nueva York. The soft glow of streetlights and the illumination from surrounding buildings created an artificial dusk, obscuring the natural night sky. Miguel and Gabriel were making their way back home after visiting their mother, who had once again found herself in the hospital despite being in relatively healthy condition, prompting her sons to pay her a visit. These kinds of hospital visits have become a routine they'd grown accustomed to. Today, Gabriel had decided to accompany his brother on the way to his apartment.
“Can I ask you something?” Miguel's voice broke the silence as he walked a step behind Gabriel.
"Huh? Yeah, sure, I guess," Gabriel replied, still walking. As he talked, he slightly tilted his head in his brother's direction while his gaze remained fixed on his path.
Miguel’s words carried a hint of hesitation as he finally asked, "Why do you still talk to me?"
Gabriel responded with a casual shrug and kicked an empty can that lay in his path. “’Cause you’re family-”
“But why?” Miguel cut him off abruptly. “I’m a dick- I don’t listen to you, I ignore your calls- I’m a terrible brother… why the shock do you still care?”
Gabriel, with no intention of contradicting his brother's self-deprecating statements, instead leaned into the narrative.
"…aaaand you engaged my girlfriend after cheating with her on your first girlfriend. You also managed to become my current girlfriend's number one crush, you're an absolute pro at ignoring Mom's calls, oh and..."
He blabbered on, listing more and more examples reinforcing Miguel's self-deprecation. Gabriel maintained a mocking, unserious tone throughout, as if thoroughly entertained by his brother's shortcomings. Each point was emphasized with a nod or a chuckle, as if he'd had enough of Miguel's self-pity and was resorting to a different strategy. His gaze fixed on his hands he raised a new finger for each new point, as if relishing the opportunity to emphasize how horrible a brother Miguel was.
Miguel let out a sigh and facepalmed in exasperation, coming to a halt. His reaction prompted Gabriel to stop in his tracks as well.
“Oh my god. See what I mean?” He muttered, shaking his head, briefly rubbing his temples before he continued. “Why do you forgive me for all this?!”
Gabriel turned to face his brother.
“I don’t”
His response was blunt and straightforward, his gaze never leaving Miguel's eyes. Miguel paused, his face displaying a mix of disbelief and frustration.
“… what?” He said as he stopped rubbing his temples for a moment. “The shock you mean you don’t?”
“You’ve said it yourself. Because you’re a dick.”
Miguel stared at his younger brother, dumbfounded. Confusion and frustration etched across his face as he tried to make sense of Gabriel's unexpected agreement.
“But then why do you remain in contact with me? Care about me? How… you’re not making any shockin’ sense, Gabe!” Miguel voiced his bewilderment.
Silene hung in the air between them. Gabriel withdrew his gaze, burying his face in his hands, and let out a sharp exhale.
“Just shut up already, will you?!” Gabriel suddenly yelled out, his frustration boiling over.
He turned to face Miguel again, his hands, which his face was buried in just a second ago, curling up tensely in front of him from the frustration.
“It doesn’t matter ‘cause you’re my shockin’ brother!” He continued as he grabbed Miguel by his shoulders and rattled him before letting go and shifting his gaze to the ground.
"Well—my biological 'half' brother… technically…" he muttered. "…But that shouldn’t matter cause…" Gabriel returned his attention to Miguel, maintaining eye contact, his voice beginning to tremble.
"We still grew up together Miggy... you were the one who was there for me, protected and held me when things were dire between mom and dad, you... you!— “ He stopped as he struggled to find the right words to express his feelings.
Miguel met Gabriel's gaze with remorse and sadness painted on his face. He took a deep breath and began rubbing his forehead.
“Look I’m… sorry. I didn’t realize everything I was putting you through. I just…“
Miguel's voice wavered as he inhaled deeply, then looked at his brother.
“… I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to always be so shocking… selfish.”
Gabriel interjected, a little frustration remaining in his tone. "I know you do.”
“Wait, what do you mean?” Miguel responded, his curiosity piqued.
“No mames, dude! You’ve been running around in a costume riskin’ your neck out for others including me. I don’t recall the last time you’ve ever acted this… selfless… there’s obviously something inside you that’s changed… or wants to change…”
Miguel nodded slowly in response, thinking over his brother’s words.
“You got me there, Gabe. I…. want to be better…. But quite frankly, I don’t know how.”
Miguel paused. He hesitated, his fingers nervously tapping against his thigh as he struggled with whether to share what was burdening him. This wasn't something he'd ever discussed openly. He was more accustomed to keeping his emotions locked away. But seeing the concern in Gabriel's eyes, his brother's insistence to break through the walls he had built, made him reconsider.
“While we’re already on the topic… Can I tell you something?” Miguel finally managed to force the words out.
Gabriel nodded encouragingly, a sense of understanding in his eyes.
Miguel paused again, the discomfort of revealing his inner turmoil evident in his furrowed brow.
“...¿sabes por qué lo que hago? The reason I’m Spider-Man?”
Gabriel shrugged, displaying his curiosity.
Miguel hesitated for a moment, his gaze resting on his younger brother. With a sigh, he decided to take the plunge.
"...I don't enjoy being Spider-Man. ¡Ahí lo tienes, lo dije!" Miguel admitted before biting his lip, anxiously awaiting his brother's reaction.
"I mean, I get it, yo tampoco lo haría. Sounds tough and all," Gabriel replied, trying to understand.
Miguel shook his head.
“No-” he clicked his tongue in annoyance, “no that’s not what I mean… I mean I don’t like the superhero stuff at all.”
He sighed again, realizing how unpleasant it felt to voice his inner turmoil.
“I don’t like… saving people… or stopping villains. I don’t like doing what’s right. I don’t like helping people who are helpless.”
His voice began to break and crack slightly as he spoke.
“…I just hate myself. I hate my life. Odio lo miserable que se siente.”
Gabriel remained silent, not knowing how to respond. He withdrew slightly from his brother as he tried to process this revelation.
Miguel sighed once more, the weight on his chest feeling unbearable.
“I know it sounds so- so stupid. I know it does. But this has been killing me… I just…”
He rubbed his eyes, his head throbbing with emotion.
“I’m just so… I don’t like being Spider-Man. I don’t want to be Spider-Man. I don’t want to be your goddamn half-brother. I don’t want Tyler Stone’s shocking blood running through me. I don’t want to be anything. I just want to be nothing.”
Gabriel noticed his older brother’s eyes watering, shifting his head away in an attempt to hide it. Surprise rose within him. It’s been years since Gabriel had seen his brother in a state this vulnerable. Did he actually manage to get him to open up?
Suddenly, Miguel felt something pressing against him tightly. He realized that Gabriel had wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace, his face buried in Miguel's shoulder in silence. Miguel's eyes widened in response, tears silently falling from his eyes as he was taken aback by his brother's reaction. Uncertain of how to respond, he simply looked down, letting the hug happen.
Gradually, Miguel sensed Gabriel's body tensing up in pulses. Was he crying too now? Gabriel had always been the more sensitive and empathetic of the two, so Miguel didn't question it. Instead, he looked down at his younger brother, realizing that he didn't feel as alone anymore. He closed his eyes and finally returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around his brother tightly.
He didn't want to let go. He closed his eyes as tightly as he could and started quietly sobbing, the weight of the past few months finally catching up to him all at once. He sobbed into Gabriel's shoulder, allowing himself to let go and release the pent-up emotions he had been carrying.
Eventually, they let go of each other. Miguel looked down at his brother and sniffled.
“Ugh I know… it was stupid. I just…”
He wiped the tears from his eyes and sighed.
“I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of people depending on me every second of the day. I’m tired of being needed. I just… I just want a break. I want to not do anything for anyone for once.”
His head turned, letting out a frustrated grunt that displayed his annoyance towards himself. His face contorted with self-disgust, one corner of his upper lip curling upward in a sneer.
"Despite all… this,” He gestured towards himself and then Gabriel, suggesting he was referring to their exchange, “you still think I'm a horrible person, don't you?"
"Maybe I could take over for Spider-Man every once in a while," Gabriel followed up, once again evading his brother's self-deprecating remarks. He said it in a somewhat joking manner, but beneath the humor, there was a hint of genuine consideration. He buried his hands deep in his coat's pockets, inadvertently making himself appear smaller, and shrugged.
Miguel looked him up and down with a stern expression before letting a dark chuckle escape him.
"You? 'Taking over for Spider-Man'?" He repeated his brother's words in a mocking tone. "Deja de mamar." He shook his head. "You couldn't handle the pressure, Gabe." He continued with a condescending tone. "Shock, you couldn't even handle growing up without me. How did you think you could handle being Spider-Man? No, you couldn't. I'm sorry, but you can't."
Miguel's repetitive words made it clear he still saw his brother as the young, and impressionable kid who had stayed behind with their mother while he spent majority of his teen years studying to eventually work at Alchemax.
“How would you feel if you were the reason someone died? Would you be able to handle that?” Miguel's anger flared. He aggressively closed the distance between them before jabbing his finger at his chest. His breath came out in short, sharp puffs, his eyes flickered with a fiery red tint as the streetlamps reflected in them. His fangs were more pronounced than ever as his upper lip curled up in anger.
Gabriel was taken aback by Miguel's sudden aggression. He instinctively stepped back, creating a bit of space between them in an effort to defuse the escalating tension, but also due to his intimidation. His initial surprise was quickly replaced by frustration at how condescendingly he was treated though. His brows furrowed, and he exhaled sharply as he stared Miguel down.
“And what makes you think I’d be able to handle you dying in battle?” He finally retorted in a less intimidated but rather upset tone.
Miguel raised an eyebrow in surprise of his brother’s reaction before shaking his head.
“Who cares if I die, Gabe? As bad as that sounds, and I know it sounds horrible, I don’t care about what happens to me.” His voice was cold. “I’ve already put people close to me through hell. I have no friends, I’ve failed my family and my fiancée not to mention I’m a genetic abomination… what more is there left for me to do here.” His voice cracked at the last part.
Gabriel gritted his teeth angrily. “You just don’t get it, do you.”
"No, I don't think you understand," he snapped angrily into Gabriel's face before tilting his head to the side again, much like he had done earlier, trying to hide his teary eyes.
"I don't think you really understand how miserable I am here, and how much better off everyone would be if I..." He turned away completely before he could finish the last sentence.
"IF YOU WHAT, GOT OFF AND KILLED YOURSELF?!" Gabriel suddenly shouted, Miguel's body tensing in response as he was taken aback witnessing his normally sensitive brother lash out at him like this. The weight of both of their words hung heavily in the air.
“Yes.” Miguel simply muttered in response, still turned away from his brother, his temper starting to fade now as he sighed. “I didn’t want to admit it but… yes.” He turned his head slightly to the side, his gaze still fixed on the ground. "I don't want to be here anymore. I'm done doing the superhero gig, and I'm done being anyone's son or... brother. I'm just done." He shrugged.
Gabriel remained standing there, still dumbfounded.
"You were right, you really are a cabrón egoísta."
Miguel let out a dark laugh, his voice raised this time. He turned back to his brother entirely, crossing his arms and straightening his back, causing him to loom over his slouching brother as he met his eyes.
"And what are you going to do about it, huh?"
Gabriel's breath was stuck in his throat, unable to follow up on his brother's last question.
“I-“
“That’s what I thought. Nothing.”
Miguel looked down and sighed, his head beginning to pound again. The silence between them was deafening. Neither of them spoke up for a while until Miguel asked, “What do you even see in me?”
“Can you just shockin’ quit questioning everything... It's tiring…” Gabriel muttered in response, his arms crossed and his gaze fixed on the ground as he refused to look his brother in the eyes after what he’d just confessed.
Miguel sighed and kept looking at his brother. “Fine.” He looked up, glancing around before continuing “Let’s just… keep going now… I need something for this stupid migraine… or maybe a drink.” He laughed bitterly.
Gabriel simply nodded with a blank expression.
“Alright.” Miguel said as he began walking in the direction of his apartment, not looking behind him to check whether his brother was following him or not as Gabriel buried his hands back into his coat’s pockets and followed up behind him.
As they continued walking, now in silence, Gabriel was lost deep in thought. There was no way he'd let his brother destroy himself like this, not on his watch.
#this is my first time sharing a fic on here (tumblr scares me a teenie weenie bit)#if you end up liking this it'd be epic if you'd also leave some kudos on ao3 🙏#NO SMUT#giving this man a break from being overly sexualized for once#gabriel o'hara#miguel o'hara#atsv#spiderman 2099#2099#sm 2099#marvel 2099#my fic#miguel o'hara fanfiction#atsv fic#I love them I wish brothers were real...
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I’m kinda insecure about one of my f/o’s because, 1. He’s a teenager (and I’m an adult), and 2. He’s kind of a meme character. I’m worried people will think I ship myself with him as a joke, but I’m not. I really, really like him!
This is the Internet and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks ever.
Well that's my go to response anyway, but I do understand the hesitation, especially with a canon minor character, feels like you gotta dance around certain people for that, and it makes the whole thing feel kinda exhausting. Though I'll say, it's probably not as scary as you think it is, it's easy to fall into this hole on the internet that if you make even the slightest misstep people will scream for your head, but it's really not that bad, I promise. Maybe I'm just lucky though, or off most people's radar.
The other half though, the worry people think you're self shipping with them as a joke? Honestly, if people think that, it's probably fine all things considered? Like I get it kinda sucks not being taken seriously, kinda hurts, but at the end of the day your F/O knows you're serious, and you know you're serious, and that's what matters.
Every character is someone's unironic Fictional Other. There are people out there who'd unironically want to Marry Shrek, or Nagito Komeda, or Sans Undertale and the Oncler together. And like!!! Good For Them!!! I love that for them!!! Shrek and Sans love them back!!
So if you're comfortable with it, take a deep breath, and love loud.
#Self Ship#Proship self ship#Proselfship#Honestly I keep temping fate but like#I have Never. Not a once. Gotten a mean anon for my shit#I've gotten a handful of 'Is this real' comments that I just delete#And one DM from an artist telling me my art isn't for them (blocked instantly of course)#But other than that if you just. Mind your business and sail your own ship#It's actually really easy to avoid people who'd get on you for something silly like the age of your FO#As for the meme side I wouldn't worry too much about that#You know I have Zack Binspin Moshi Monsters on my F/O list#And yeah the first time I talked about him basically everyone in my server made fun of me for him#(I think they meant it lightheartedly)#And it kinda sucked but like#There's been an ask sitting in my ask box for a few months now#From another person who ALSO has Moshi Monsters self ships#There's always like minded people and there's always someone who'll take you at your word#I'll be one of those people for you if you'd like to tell me some day!#Until then! Do your best to Love Loudly!#And even if you can't. Even if you're still hesitating or scared. Your F/O loves you all the same#You've got this!#I believe in you!#Do Whatever You Want Forever
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Guys I cannot consume normally
#i need help i can't stop watching the x files for real#if yall listened to the audios i send my friend while watching it you'd WORRY#i just watched the episode where Scully almost kisses Mulder but its not Mulder™ its just that shapeshifter#and i had such a visceral reaction to it i scared myself plss
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i like to think that cassie has a deceptively strong competitive spirit. she'll be the sweetest kid until she starts playing a game with anybody. god forbid you ever play fazer blast or try to race her in the raceway bc she will Destroy you
#{ the real reason cassie's “friends” didn't show up was bc they're scared of her sjfnsjf /hj }#{ shes probably scared gregory before amfbnsnd;; }#{ the contrast between her competitive self & normal self is WILD. you'd never expect her to be like that }#🎬 || it's make believe inside your head. (headcanons.) || 🎬
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I am no longer asking
#yeah whatever iconoclasts might seem like a weird rec but consider this:#it got completely overshadowed by celeste even though I personally think it's the better game so I must shill for it at every opportunity#i do think it shares some similarities with nitw tho!! that you might like!!#''who hasn't played DE at this point lol'' alot of you haven't. PLAY ITTT#for real tho out of all these games. genuinely begging on hands and knees for more people to play outer wilds#ESPECIALLY if you liked nitw.. truly believe you are 100% guaranteed to love outer wilds if you liked nitw... please im begging#if ''puzzle game'' scares you I promise it's not really a puzzle game in the way you'd expect#the ''puzzles'' are more just obstacles blocking progression in which the only way to get past them is to gather information#and learn about the lore. it's why everyone says its ''a game you can only play once.'' once you Know you can finish the game in like10 min#night in the woods#nitw#txt
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I dreamed that I was going home from school. It was raining and I threw my jacket out the car window because it was wet? I expected to get it back later somehow. Along the way we picked up a cousin of mine who found some homework on the floor but no jacket. And the homework wasn't even mine
We went to my aunt's house, and irl she has a closet full of old clothes that she lets me try on and keep, so in the dream I thought maybe she'd have a green sweater vest I could take for a Jon Sims cosplay. So I went to that room, my dream emphasized that I was barefoot? When I opened the door the room was completely empty, except for a few small boxes. I turned on the light but only one bulb was working and it was really dim, I couldn't see anything. I figured that if I stepped in a weird angle I could use the light that bounced off my leg to illuminate the floor, but there wasn't anything worth my time there. I left
I think I asked my aunt about what happened and she started to insult me and say that the room had pest control poison and if my skin absorbed it I'd die and like. Ok I'll just wash it off why are you being so mean. I went to the bathroom to do just that but there was a party going on in the house and all the people saw me go in the bathtub and decided that the party should continue in there so they kicked me out and made fun of me. Right next to the bathtub was the door to the empty room so I opened it in hopes that they'd go party in there and die. I calmly went to the other bathroom in the house to wash off the poison
After I did that there seemed to be a big line forming to use the bathroom? Instead of getting out normally I used a secret door. It wasn't really hidden, but I never noticed it was there before then. It lead to more bathrooms, but in a really weird format. The door lead to a narrow corridor with three equally narrow blue doors, I think they were numbered? Behind every door was a tiny bathroom stall, and all the walls were numbered blue doors that lead to more bathroom stalls, and so on.
I picked the rightmost door, number 1. Inside the left door was 2, the center one 4, and the right one 3. Now, I picked number 3 in the dream, but I know that if I kept going left it would never intersect with the other doors that were to the left of the first one. I think I went back and forth through door 3 a bit until I clipped through it and saw a bunch of specific numbers flash, these were dangerous places. The last number I saw was 444, which was close enough to door 4 that I needed to get out.
I was in a bigger corridor now, with blue tiles. There were two people with me. We ran until we reached another entrance to the door maze, and I don't know how, but they knew that the monster was there so we turned around and ran the other way. I caught a glimpse of it. It was tall, with black spider legs and a glitching body. Then I woke up
#ice speaks#brain cinema#long post#you'd think this is a nightmare but none of it scared me#i love nonsense dreams i wish doors were real
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i love how often on here i see the worst mental health advice imaginable with 76,000 notes, very few of those in disagreement with it
#be more scared of doing nothing? literally the stupidest thing you can say. obviously written by a neurotypical person#you'd have to have zero understanding of anxiety and executive dysfunction not to see#how that advice leaves one to continue to do nothing (bc material conditions are real) but also feel rlly bad#AND turn that bad feeling inward. great job folks! these apes needed money and/or acceptance but you gave them crippling self loathing#you feel good about yourselves for having passed on advice to the losers though huh? so its all okay. it could never happen to you
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