#then they Should do fine. theoretically
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i’m so heavily yearning for spring to be here that at this point i’m taking desperate measures
#plant#terrarium#closed terrarium#personal#my plants#first attempt at a closed terrarium#which is why I’m using weeds from the back yard lmao#i fully expect at least the small one to tank and die in like. a week#probably too small . again. i’m desperate#but the soil mix is nice in the big one. unless they die of shock from being uprooted in The Middle Of Winter#then they Should do fine. theoretically
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Hi do you like images. I love images. Heres a little over 100 guilty gear trading cards from the early 2000s. Every character up to xx is accounted for… some more than others. For now. But the average is probably 4 or 5 cards per character. Nearly all of the art is original. Okay have fun :)
#i hope anyone thinks this is as neat as i do.#oh yeah! also scanned the booklet. a little messy but its fine. so theoretically you could learn how to play. if you can read japanese#i tried not to let my perfectionism consume me too much with this. but know if anything looks off hmm 90% chance its the card's fault.#some arent in the best condition and the printing isnt the best to begin with on some of em. but i tried to pick out the best when i could#theres only 1 zappa and robo-ky. very sorry.#complete coincidence that testament has the most cards… well tied with dizzy. and they arent even on 2 of them so dizzy wins actually.#ill probably keep lookin for more cards but i should ummm. pace myself. smile.#the kat goes meow#guilty gear#gg#show up in the main tag... please
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It's so fun seeing ppl arguing about ships cuz some are valid and then I'm seeing ppls take on Burnt Bread and how they don't like it cuz of the age gap 💀
Like feel as you want about the ship but like beo they're both adults it isn't like it's a freshly 18 year old with some dude in his 40s
Also burntbread age gap is near identical to my parents so it's like sorry mom and dad your age gap is #problematic we gotta cancel you now or something😔
#punch out#again i totally see why ppl feel uncomfortable with it#age gaps have always been iffy especially the younger/older one of the party's is#and a good chunk of my family have gaps like that so maybe im just whatever about it#but calm down jesus christ 😭#they met as adults and thats really the only holdup you should have#is the theoretical prior relationship before meeting as adults#like if joe and aran ryan met when aran rysn was a wee lad#then yeah its weird#but these dudes have literally nothing#so do what you want ig girlboss#if you dont like the ship for other reasons then thats fair#i dont ship anything but im not going to see ppl dog on a ship that's legitmately fine
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Anyone out there got a solution for when you're feeling really stuck with your art and everyone and their mother tells you the solution is to do studies and figure drawings and other such things but even just thinking about doing those things makes you Spiral and want to Kill Yourself?
#monster noises#it's 1am no one will see this it's fine#it's a genuine problem though i Wish i could be aotherfucker who found it engaging and satisfying to do figure drawing#but i both A) had some bad experiences with this type of learning in highschool that i guess kinda make them triggering for me i guess?#and B) my brain doesn't seem to be able to like.. Learn Things.... That Way.... or at least not Obviously#i mean obviously i've improved as an artist over time in general#and i won't lie and say i've Never done figure drawing or studies or anything#but i never leave those situations feeling like i've Learned anything#mostly i've just sat for several hours growing increasinglyore frustrated#at my limitations and inability to achieve what i feel should come to me intuatively#and even if i Did feel like i've learned something i can seemingly never turn around and then apply it to something else#my brain does not make those lateral connections#it's why i can't do word problems in math.#and plus i also find stuff like figure drawing especially Rarely helps me make progress on the parts of my work i Actually want to improve#fluidity/mobility/stylization and surrealism#and only reinforces practices i want to pull away from#realism/'correctness'#all this combined leaves me just kinda stuck because i really can't power through my fear of these practicing methods#because i also don't find them useful#but i have no alternatives because it's like.. the only thing anyone suggests because theoretically is Does Work#but just not when you're Specifically Busted like I'm Busted#and so I just continue to stagnate until idk.. i find something else that can abruptly and suddenly launch me forward again?.#augh.. being an artist is The Most Enjoyable (_=<=)_
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SO... I was just thinking, let's say hypothetically.. mahiru guren & shinya weren't toxic ca16 was written by a less misogynist author then would you like mahigureshin as like poly ship? It just came in my head as much as I dislike how author wrote them esp mahirus character I still think in alternative setting it might work?? They are kind of catastrophic trio with very poetic themes & victim of fate kinda afterall.
honestly probably yeah. most powerful trio imagineable.
although i actually have no clue what mahiru's personality would be like were she not written by such an author. i think i've read some cool modern AUs in which i really liked her - kickass businesswoman that overworks herself trying to get her little sister out of a difficult situation while simulteanously juggling her relationship with her boyfriend and their shared trophy wife, i think that'd fit her well. "all you do is work :(" "you don't understand i'm doing this for us!!!111!1!1!!1!!!" type of stuff.
i will forever treasure that little snippet of her and shinya making fun of guren together, that was adorable. the way things should've been.
#don't cancel me for calling shinya a trophy wife it's funny ok#the girlboss‚ the babygirl‚ and the trophy wife. true romance.#i do wonder what mahiru's feelings regarding shinya are in vampire reign#like through catastrophe she felt mostly neutral or slightly disdainful towards him#but our guren-hating mika became yuu's demon and suddenly doesn't hate him at all anymore.#so maybe guren's thoughts rubbed off on her and she's fine with shinya now LMAO#but yeah those dynamics are very fun to think about#guren trying to comprehend how he pulled the two prettiest people alive (he didn't. they pulled him)#mahiru and shinya absolutely being in love but not romantically#i am forever a firm believer that women (guremahi) should give shinya little kisses on the forehead#they put him thru hell so now they're spoiling him#many tags. many tags#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#mahiru hiiragi#imagine seeing them out in public together i'd shit my pants#all hail the theoretical polyamorous catastrophic trio
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pacing around in increasing desperation going 'what's my motivation??' to a director who not only thinks this is a tiresome and pointless question but who also won't show me the script despite clearly being pretty annoyed whenever I fail to follow it
#'here's a thing' oh-- does my character have any incentive to get involved in any way? 'look it's a thing and it's here just do it'#okay fine. fine. how am I supposed to act on this thing? 'that is up to you :)' okay but I don't even know why I'm doing it--#can I get any information to base my decisions on? 'you are free! to decide! :)'#.... okay then I guess I do [x]. '.... why didn't you do [y]. I cannot believe you didn't do [y] I only planned for [y]'#YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME THE SLIGHTEST REASON TO DO [Y] AND I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT'S WHAT YOU EXPECTED!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEE#thinking about this because there are a couple things in bg3 that are like...#well they gave me no real reason to believe I can or should get involved except that I know I'm playing a video game; feels a bit forced :/#but that's so much less frustrating in a video game where option trees will reveal themselves to you#than it is in open-ended dnd where the goalposts are invisible and the options are theoretically limitless#world's worst game of hot and cold istg I spend SO much of that one DM's campaigns going 'I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE'RE EVEN DOING!!!'#this would be frustrating ANYWAY but it is frequently very clear that not only are there Wrong Answers--#there may in fact very often be A Single Right Answer#POINT ME AT IT THEN.
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Fighting internalized ableism by finally buying myself chewelry. I've wanted to for ages but the COVID-induced germophobia was an obstacle. However, I'm catching myself chewing on myself lately which isn't any better on that front and is worse on others, so. Chewelry it is.
#hylian rambles#i also have. kind of a paranoia thing going on about putting plastic-like things in my mouth. because i've read too much#about microplastics and pfas and all sorts of other harmful things#but these are made of food grade silicone so it should be safe. theoretically. do i trust that? eh. maybe.#my faith in US consumer safety regulations is worsening by the day#and the necklace i got has a nylon cord which is A) not gonna be as easy to clean and B) i'm not sure if nylon should go in my mouth#hopefully it's easy to avoid chewing on the cord and that will simply not be a problem. we'll see.#nylon is plastic btw. this gives me anxiety.#am i being ridiculous here? yeah probably. do i know how to turn it off? FUCK no.#to be clear. i'm not chewing on myself hard enough to do damage or break skin. this is an annoyance not a danger.#it'll be fine. but also. better to get something designed to be chewed on.
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I can’t knit or crochet bc of carpel tunnel and I’m about to fucking lose it
#fifitolks#knitting#crochet#i just learned how to crochet and I can’t even do it#i took a break for this weekend and my hand feels fine#so theoretically I should be fine.#but I’m nervous bc I really need my hand to be fine#i need to be able to type for work and school#idk#i can’t stim properly and it’s making me mald
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i am once again. thinking abt my ocs. and drowning.
#rai.txt#jdhsjdbdjd this is like stupid.#idk i just think. cas and ro should get into a situation#theyte underwater theyre trapped! oh no!#cas is. fine. duuh. part fish. but. ro is. Struggling.#cas doesnt know what to do or how to help and just holds onto ro so that the two of them stay close together. but feels utterly useless#and helpless.#theres literslly nothing they can do. they are just there. fine. as their boyfriend is suffering and dying.#tfw ur bf dies in the water. the water which has been your home for lost of youre life. the water which kept you safe and looked after you.#the water. who has now taken away the first person you chose in your life.#<- kone of this is canon ro doesnt die but like. Theoretically. itd be so fucked.
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she's finally done! yippee
#bobtalk#my art#<-once again...Technically#figura mod for minecraft btw. the shader is sildur's vibrant#well. most of the work was done Forever ago i just decided today to 1. port her to a newer version of the mod#(which was a bit of a pain because they changed A Lot about how things work. had me losing it a little but i DID IT!)#and 2. fix up her textures a tad...im still not the best skin maker but well. i think its good enough...!#(lots of details got lost (see: her mask) but i didnt want to go above minecraft's texture resolution lol)#the model is pretty vanilla. i just added a toggleable mask and her ponytail and coat tails NEITHER OF WHICH CLIP!!#i think i liveblogged doing that a bit forever ago? but that was hard work <- very little experience <- but that's part of the fun#anyway. i made her even though she's not my Favorite (i do love her tho) bc i thought she'd be a good starting point with her#extra stuff i'd have to work with#also she should theoretically work fine in multiplayer (for the mask change n stuff i set up the pings) but i cant. really. test it. so..lo#might put her up for download at some point. someone might get some use out of her...? shrug#next...i wanna make akc.....hehe ^_^#...mask might be hard for that one.#(if i was ever gonna revisit this model id consider adding a hair down toggle but i think im done with her for the time being lol)
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EEEEEEH honestly during the time we were mutuals we interacted like a maximum of . two times. perhaps even just once. which is a bit crazy considering all of this now. i was just scared of trying to keep interacting honestly HSJAHDJSHD but if you dont feel like dating after i reveal myself that is completely absolutely alright! i would appreciate having you as a friend just as much! its whatever you prefer and whatever you feel more comfortable with :3
- 💌 anon
oooh well . still honestly I bet uur kewl <3 and yayaya !! thank uu for being understanding , I very much appreciate it . to be faaair , I do . kinda . have a soft spot for uu , y'know ? so even if it isn't immediately . . . the idea isn't something I'm opposed to ^_^
#➳ the fool's mail box#➳ sender; 💌 anon#with all of this being said . there def are things I'd need to know before like . being in a relationship#likeee . are we close in age bodily . nawt that uu would know since i don't share my age online idk but still . like . age range ?#but also no need to directly share that . at least for nyeow ? at the least i trust uu are a minor 😭#um . and also if uur . dating anybun else ? aha ? <- very monogamous very mono . unlike a lot of the beings I've met on here . scary !#augh it's purrobably obvious by nyeow but I'm a clingy jealous mess so being with anybun who'd be dating others . i just . can't#and that's honestly something I'm worried about a little bit like poly beings r so kewl but it just isn't for me#and a lot of beings i know on here are poly . ^_^'#or like idfk being poly itself is fine in a theoretical partner as long as they aren't strictly poly#like ''no if i wanna date other people will i can't just be with only one being bc that doesn't work for me''#but ''i could theoretically be in a polycule but I'm okay with being in a mono relationship'' is good !#and ofc ''i am fully mono just like uu'' is . also something that works for me#idk#these are the kinds of things i didn't wanna ask right off of the bat and i suppose I'll purrobably find out for myself whenever uu reveal#but like . still . uu can easily see why we could be incompatible lol . so .#augh idk where I'm going with this . I mean uu should know my boundaries n such if uu like-like me I just feel like a bit of a downer#bc boom what if everything is ruined nyeow or whatever blehhh#but anyways I'm gonna stfu nyeow i have some chores 2 knock out so I'll speedrun em while uu either write back . or do something else and#then write back . orrrr while uu do something else and write back when I'm done and at the computer so I can reply asap etc etc#agh i feel like i got weird w this even if uu are currently w others or something again we can totally just be friends . buddies . pals .#uur still kewl and really niceys so !
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i have something very personal and ugly and probably incoherent that i need to get off my chest about israel. to preface im not a zionist, i am jewish and disgusted by israel on a daily basis, and this is me mostly speaking from that. i am sorry and if anyone who follows me doesn't want to read this from me/hates it i ask that you just scroll on by and forget it. and if you do read it and respond im happy to talk but just please take it in good faith. in reponse to this post
#it's not black and white. maybe in purely theoretical moral dilemma terms it seems that way. but not in reality.#what do you do with an israel that should not exist on principle but does? it does and the people in it have been there for generations now#and it's jewish. this DOES complicate things and i wish people would stop pretending it doesn't.#it makes everything literally everything so. fucking. complicated.#cause you end up with this implicit ultimatum: side with hamas or be a zionist. what other options are there under this world view#if you only think israel should stop mass murdering palestinians but speak in favour of 2 state solution or talk about 'right to exist'#are you saying you're fine with everything else; the occupation was justified just not outright genocide?#it always has to go back to the ideological origin of zionism which means a call to abolish the state of israel entirely.#and in parallel if you talk of atrocities on 7 october or terrorists this takes away from the palestinian struggle right#because hamas are the armed resistance to israel and to call for their condemnation to withdraw support from the unrwa#is to renounce solidarity with the palestinian cause in any way that matters. do you really care if you deny them the right to resist?#but here's the other side. you just cannot ask this of jews. maybe some jews but the vast majority? telling them they need#to essentially throw their support behind an organisation that hates their existence?#hamas ARE antisemitic. the houthis are antisemitic#it's a different kind of antisemitism to the white/aryan supremacist kind. it's complex and it comes with an actual weight of grievances#but it's still antisemitism. the future desired by the resistance is not kind to jews certainly not in palestine and realistically#not anywhere else either. islamophobia and antisemitism have both seen huge upticks since 7 october. do you think it's just#nazis and far right bigots enjoying free reign? no. there is a real inter ethnic inter religious hatred here. you can't just wish it away#there's a real sense i get from the circles i follow here that you have to be 'all in' with your activism or else your views are worth shit#but then i guess it's okay if your wholehearted antizionist rhetoric is just a bit antisemtic as well or supports those who are#so yeah actually for jews this is not an easy solution. at least for this jew it is not. the only uncomplicated thing for me#s seeing what israel does and calling it a crime against humanity and demanding an immediate ceasefire#talking unreservedly about the evil that israel has committed against palestinians for decades#i wish it was as uncomplicated as going from that to saying israel needs to disappear completely. but im jewish and i have a jewish family.#i cant boycott my father like a problematic celebrity for getting upset when i said israel should never have been established at all#i cant sit in judgment of every jew who feels some personal connection to israel when i'm 2 degrees removed from victims of 7 october#anyway. me personally i fucking loathe israel. not Just Its Government i hate the mocking cruelty of its army and many people in it#and also for how it is tied up with jewish identity despite me wanting no part of it. whether i like it or not.
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weird thing i've noticed about my art
when i do traditional my process goes something like this
messy sketch -> clean up sketch -> colour -> shade -> go over lines again if needed
but with digital i can't sketch. I just can't. idk why. so my digital process goes like this
messy flat colours -> messy linework -> clean up linework -> fix flat colours -> shade
#i don't know why i do this#maybe i would enjoy digital art more if i just#learned how to sketch#you know what actually i probably can't sketch how i do with traditional cause i'm using my fucking finger when i do digital lmao#but i can do lines just fine once the colours are down!!!#theoretically i should also be able to sketch
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thinking about loz byler au again (breath of the wild specifically rn) and my brain keeps going "oooh the party as the champions" bc it sounds like it works out PERFECTLY there are 6 people in the party there's 6 champions if we count link and zelda, who are obviously mike and will, and then I remember that this would mean 4 of them have to be dead for like. the entirety of the main plot
#and other issues#like anyway the way I'm thinking about this is max=urbosa lucas=revali dustin=daruk el=mipha#it wouldn't be a direct one to one thing obviously. for a variety of reasons#idk like it sounds good on instinct and then I start thinking about the specifics of it and get confused idk I wish I could solve problems#bc like. details related to each specific champion and whatnot. like. urbosa knew zelda's mom. that can't work#and then like. who would be the champion's successors then?#I think el in mipha's position would work pretty well actually which is making me want to fit#the rest of the party in the other roles but it doesn't work the same. well actually no lucas and dustin are fine#probably bc revali and daruk are each Just Some Guy#whereas urbosa and mipha are characters who have actual history with link and zelda#and therefore more details in the lore that you have to work around#ok the issue is mostly max as urbosa and then the things with the champion's successors#like. mipha has a little brother. el does not. and I mean it could be any family member theoretically but that's kind of confusing for el#IDKKK#I'm thinking about this too hard bc its not like I'm gonna do anything with it#I should think about the skyward sword loz au instead that one's easier#only questions you have to answer there are who gets to be groose and who's impa#I can't figure those out either#loz byler
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Someday I’ll write a Clone Wars fic based on the time An Error Occurred where I work and I, a relatively low-level employee, was sent paperwork to approve a financial transaction worth tens of thousands of dollars for, like, certifying that an engine in a vehicle had been replaced.
I have absolutely no authority to approve that.
I didn’t know the engine had been replaced.
I didn’t even know we owned this vehicle.
I don’t work in that department at all.
#I reported it but the report was 'closed' because '''I'''' initiated the work so there was no problem#I INITIATED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I DID NOT EVEN KNOW WE HAD THIS VEHICLE AT ALL#I was also sent intimidating-sounding messages about additional fees and repercussions should I not approve this paperwork#which I didn't want to do#exactly because of potential legal repercussions#Luckily my boss had my back 100% and we documented absolutely everything and pulled in the person who was actually responsible for this wor#*work#so theoretically I should be fine now#Personal#Diary Post
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hell isn't a place it's circumstance and more specifically the circumstance of having to write an essay
#personal#i have 3 10 page essays due by monday#and theoretically? should be fine. right? RIGHT?#ive written hundreds of pages worth of essays before. ive won awards for essays before.#and yet. and YET. every single time it's like i do not know how to do it. i have no memory of ever doing it.#i have to create the ideal conditions for the being that possesses me when i write essays#which is sleep deprivation emotional exhaustion and a thousand bees in my body#it's a fucking nightmare!! and i say this as someone who has active ptsd from other things!!!#i wrote 4k words for my dnd campaign the other day like it was NOTHING#scream scream scream
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