#thinking about this because there are a couple things in bg3 that are like...

[blujayonthewing]

pacing around in increasing desperation going 'what's my motivation??' to a director who not only thinks this is a tiresome and pointless question but who also won't show me the script despite clearly being pretty annoyed whenever I fail to follow it

[scribblingface]

I went into bg3 fully ready to have a good time and have done so despite many ways in which the game is not good and have not worried too much over various dramas about patch changes but my chill streak has finally ended and I am wailing gnashing my teeth etc. about patch 7 (the supposedly final one with story/content changes) not adding companion reactivity for any of the durge content in act 2

[zevrans-remade]

i finally finished bg3 2 nights ago ya'll 😭🥺

[notrapsplease]

Werebear Halsin Headcanon

I have seen a couple other posts going around about werebear Halsin and wanted to make my own with some of my thoughts/evidence because I have been a werebear truther since I first saw the beefy elf daddy.

This doesn't really have spoilers in it, but I do touch on a couple plot points from the game. Fair warning! I also pull a lot from D&D itself, specifically 5th edition since that's what BG3 is built on.

This ended up being long, so I split it into a few different categories, they are in no particular order:

Quite large for an elf

We all know, Halsin is big. Large even. In D&D, elves are described as being slender and slight. Even if they are athletic they are not muscular and are lighter than other races of the same size (as in a 5'5" human will weigh more than a 5'5" elf). They are a little shorter than humans on average.

This puts Halsin well outside the usual elf physiology. When this is addressed in game, Halsin says perhaps he has some orc ancestry or "conventional wisdom is too narrow about what someone can or cannot be" (beautiful sentiment Halsin, you're still big).

Being a werebear offers a simple explanation for his unusual size. Werebear in D&D are described as being large and muscular, even in their humanoid form.

It's a "Wildshape"

Sure buddy.

Halsin's bear form is explained away as one of his druid wildshapes, but there are a couple things that don't line up.

First is the UI itself. Halsin’s bear form is separate from wildshape. It’s in the general abilities section not the class features. This might be just for programming reasons, but I still think it’s interesting.

Second and more incriminating, Halsin stays in bear form for too long. ACT 1 Spoilers: When you find Halsin in the Goblin Camp, the Goblins don't know he's a dude, they just think he's a bear. Even if in the stories timeline you're supposed to reach him the same day as when he was kidnapped, that's still a long time to maintain a wildshape. As per DND 5e rules: "You can stay in a beast shape for a number of hours equal to half your druid level (rounded down)."

So even if Halsin is STARTING as a max BG3 level druid at level 12, he should only maintain wildshape for 6 hours. Even as a Circle of the Moon druid, the time doesn't increase.

"I...lost the run of myself"

Related to the idea that Halsin's bear form is a wildshape, I need to touch on the parts of the game that indicate Halsin can lose control of his bear form.

My main piece of evidence here is that wildshape in D&D has no indication that you lose any control of your impulses. In fact, wildshape describes the opposite: "Your game statistics are replaced by the statistics of the beast, but you retain your alignment, personality, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores."

The fact you retain your mental stats mean you are in total control. There is no mental difference between a druid in wildshape and a druid in their humanoid form. To be in wildshape is a CHOICE the druid makes.

This is in contrast to spells like Polymorph which indicate that you lose your mental stats AS WELL as your physical ones: "The target's game statistics, including mental ability scores, are replaced by the statistics of the chosen beast. It retains its alignment and personality."

I bring that up just to showcase that D&D does have that distinction, if wildshape was meant to be something that you could lose control of, or let the beast take over, they would have written it that way.

ACT 3 spoilers: This idea that he can be made to lose control is also hinted at if Orin kidnaps him from your camp. Orin's dialogue from the kidnapped victim usually indicates a deep-seated fear the victim has, or their worst case scenario. Having kidnapped Halsin describe himself losing control indicates to me that it's his biggest fear. Which makes sense as a werebear, as a druid…not so much.

In contrast to wildshape, which is a voluntary choice the druid makes, being a werebear is a curse. Halsin is obviously in good control of his werebear self (I discuss this later on), but it is still a curse and can affect him negatively, especially in impulse and instinct.

Alignment: Neutral Good

Now I've got to talk about the werebear curse a little more. And D&D lycanthropy in general.

When someone is afflicted with the curse and resists it, they maintain their normal alignment but struggle to contain the beast. If an afflicted person chooses to accept the beast they gain more control over their bestial form, but lose their alignment to the alignment of the kind of lycanthrope they are.

Both Halsin and the canon D&D werebear are Neutral Good. Which means Werebear Halsin is in alignment with his bestial side, offering some manner of control over his transformations.

Only you can prevent shadow curses.

Werebear are described as being lone hermits who guard their territories fiercely, protecting their habitat, and the flora and the fauna from any threat. Sounds like a werebear might get really obsessive trying to rid his territory of, say, a Shadow curse.

Halsin and Thaniel's relationship makes a lot more sense if Halsin is a werebear. They met when Halsin was a child, so Halsin wouldn't have been a druid yet. In D&D druids are a learned class, more like clerics. Certainly Halsin could been a child in touch with nature, but why did Thaniel single him out?

If Halsin was a werebear though, he would have already had a natural desire to protect the land, the land being personified as Thaniel.

The werebear curse is described in D&D as usually being passed on voluntarily, as in a werebear chooses who they want to bite, either a companion or an apprentice. Werefolk curses also pass through bloodlines (as in you can be born a werefolk). The general consensus is if you are born a werefolk you will naturally align with the curse's alignment so you will innately be in more control then a bitten werefolk. We already know Halsin is Neutral Good, like werebears usually are.

This is a more headcanon-y part, but I think Halsin’s family were probably all werebear, or at least one of his parents was and from a lineage that had a history protecting the land Halsin grew up on. Knowing that Halsin's family all passed away, this could also indicate why Thaniel singled him out, maybe Halsin was the last in the werebear lineage that had chosen to defend the land Thaniel personified.

Either way, Halsin and the werebear align in the desire to protect natural spaces, and Halsin's obsession with the shadow curse could stem from that innate desire.

This isn't my first time recruiting a werefolk druid

This is meta evidence, but I'm including it. In BG2 there is a druid named Cernd and he’s a werewolf! What does this have to do with Halsin? Not a lot, but it shows that having a companion who is a werewolf is established in the universe. Cernd also establishes that being a druid helps to control a werecreature curse. Cernd isn’t feral and has greater control over his werewolfism because of his abilities as a druid. Also Cernd has magic items that are from High Forest. If that sounds familiar, it's where Halsin says his family is buried. idk the connection but it's interesting.

Final thoughts

I think that's all?? I also want to talk about why I think the Werebear curse wasn't brought up in game.

One of the other posts I saw suggested that the reason it’s not brought up in game is Halsin doesn’t know he's a werebear. I get that, I can totally see that, but I don’t think that does Halsin justice. Halsin may be a beefy boy, but he isn't oblivious. There is no way Halsin has lived for 350 years and hasn’t realized he’s a werebear. 350 years is a long time not to bite anyone.

I think the more likely explanation in game is simply that it never comes up. Halsin is in control (mostly) and not worried about it. He is also not used to having people who care for him (this is a huge part of his characterization in game), and probably has had to keep the fact that he is a werebear relatively secret throughout his life.

From a meta perspective, I think it was cut for time and content. We KNOW that a lot of his content was cut already (Sorrow, anyone?). There is also the fact that originally one of the other origin characters was going to be a werewolf, so they may have decided to ease back on Halsin being a werebear so she would be more unique. Then she ceased to exist anyway. Personally I think they should have included some dialogue about it somewhere, especially after deciding not to have the werewolf companion. I genuinely can’t FATHOM that werebear Halsin wasn’t the plan all along, regardless of if they decided to cut it. Alright I'm done. Werebear believers unite!

[bitethedevil]

Living with Raphael

Because I’ve seen so many people do “domestic bliss” posts and similar stuff about other BG3 characters and it made me think. I love him but I would rather go skinny dipping in the Styx than actually live with this man, because I believe he would be the shittiest roommate ever. Here’s why:

Micro-managing: You can’t do shit without his endless sneering and commenting on every tiny little thing you do and it’s all in the name or “keeping the order in his house”. In reality, it has nothing to do with order, it’s just that he has a very particular way of doing things and you’re supposed to just be able to read his mind.

His tantrums: I just know he’s just like his daddy. Calm and collected one second, and literally tearing something apart in unhinged anger the next. How do you know which mood he’s in? You don’t. He can sit quietly doing his business and a simple “how are you” will be enough for him to explode about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Endless yapping or total silence: You’re either forced to listen for hours about something or you literally can’t get him to talk because he’s in his own head. If it’s the former, he doesn’t even care if you don’t want to listen, he will make you listen and don’t you dare pull your attention away from him. If it’s the latter, you might get a “mm” or a ‘yes’ if you’re lucky, but he’s not listening regardless. If you’re unlucky, refer to point two.

Can’t fucking sit still for two seconds: he’s always doing something and it’s all hours of the day. He does not give an imp’s ass if you’re asleep if he decides it’s time to play a fucking symphony on the organ at three o’ clock in the morning. He’ll loudly recite poetry as well and it’s the same couple of verses again…and again…and again…”until it’s perfect”.

‘Mine’: (This is basically Raphael if you’re that age where you remember this show.) Nothing is ‘yours’ or ‘ours’, no no. You’re in his house, no matter how long you’ve lived there or even if you’re goddamn married. Everything is his (you included because you’re under his roof).

Mind games: This one is pretty obvious. Everything will be made into a manipulative mind game of some sort and it would be about the stupidest shit sometimes as well. He’s constantly playing 3D chess and I would resort to, not only eat the pieces to win, but also to maybe just throw the whole board away. Not dealing with your psychological torture, my dude.

Haarlep, I salute you 🫡 No one should be forced to live with him.

[brain-rot-central]

I might be in the minority here, but let me cook for a minute.

If you break up with Ascended Astarion (refuse his offer to turn you into a spawn), he approaches you a couple days later and will go into this whole mantra about how he would have abused your love, you made a mistake, etc. Basically trying to convince you that he's not the least bit upset about it, and that he's doing you the favor of seeing to destroying the brain. He also asks if you could work together as partners during this, as well.

This is a hot take on this but...

Astarion is lying through his fucking teeth in this scene. Receipts below the cut.

During the sex scene with Ascended Astarion, you get a Wisdom check where you can look into his thoughts. If you pass this Wisdom check, it's revealed to you that Astarion essentially thinks very highly of you, as he would believe you'd be degrading yourself if you choose to become his spawn. He knows it's wrong of him to put you in this position, but at that point in time he's so incredibly infatuated with the new powers he's been given, as well as finally having his insatiable craving for blood lifted for the first time in 200 years. He's absolutely drunk on power and it's heavily clouding his judgement.

If you face Cazador without Astarion, there's a skill check you can pass when he's in his coffin recovering where you can also look into Cazador's thoughts. Essentially, Cazador's inner monologue does not match who he is on the outside. He's essentially trapped in his own body and mind, and basically wishes for death. He hates how much of a hold blood and power has over him; he wants it all to end. He hates who he has become.

In the D&D lore, true vampires are soul-less beasts. They become driven by blood lust and a desire to turn the whole world under their command. They lack the ability to harbor empathy or other emotions, especially love. BG3 introduces the Vampire Ascendent into the D&D lore; they basically regain multiple aspects of their humanity while still keeping the powers of a true vampire. They can still drink blood and turn people into thralls/spawn, but they no longer require blood to survive, are able to walk in the sun, enter homes uninvited, walk through running water, etc. You're basically a living vampire, but still immortal.

Given that Astarion becomes the Vampire Ascendent, his brain is not clouded by a need to consume blood. He doesn't have that pit in his stomach that drove every other vampire that came before him. He's being blinded by power. He has the ability to think rationally. When you refuse his offer to bend to his will, he becomes incredibly, incredibly hurt. He says the biggest crimes known to man are committed in the name of "love." If you call him a hypocrite, he shrinks back into his insecurities and states that your character's "true colors" are finally revealing themselves. He becomes incredibly bitter because you rejected him. You hurt him by refusing what he has become. And it absolutely destroys a large part of him on the inside.

Honestly that's the only rationale I can come up with as to why he eventually decides to smooth things over with you by saying there's no use in fighting, he admits he would have abused your love, played with it to get what he wanted until you were nothing (again, he's heavily deflecting here and trying to convince even himself that's what he would have done), and wants to still be partners in battle at the very least. He still wants to be near you. Because a large part of him still cares about you. Even if he can't understand it at that moment because he's clouded by power, he's still drawn to you like a moth to a flame. He's trying to convince himself that he no longer cares about you in that way. If he genuinely didn't care about the PC, he would leave regardless of whether you helped him or not. He would choose himself and his own interests; he wouldn't stick around and repay some petty debt. He got what he wanted, why bother helping some poor sod fix their problems? As revealed in the wisdom check, he still does think highly of the PC.

Despite what option you choose for Astarion (Ascended vs Non), he will tell you in both endings that you basically gave him his life back, and he will thank you for it. That I believe is genuine on both ends as it happens in both endings. If you ask Ascended Astarion to be gentle when he bites you, he heeds your request and performs the act in the most gentle way possible, choosing your wrist (kissing the back of your hand first) as opposed to your neck.

I'm rambling at this point but the bottom line is Ascended Astarion does still care for the PC, imo. It's just being heavily clouded under a mountain of new found powers and awe. I have no doubt that once that all blows over, he'd absolutely 100% be at your door on an almost nightly basis borderline begging you to take him back, or trying his hardest to convince you to at least give him a chance to talk. He's not a monster driven by horrific bloodlust. He's infatuated with this newfound power and mental clarity. Imo, unless there are new rules in the D&D lore that state differently, this is a temporary thing. And he'll absolutely be back to wanting you again at some point.

But fuck waiting around for that, lmao.

[mistystepmoonbeam]

Reborn into BG3: Chapter 12

You're reborn into BG3 with only the memory of your past life. Now you're Tav's companion on his journey, and must learn about yourself as much as your new reality.

Chapter 12: You take a walk through the cellar in the blighted village. When the others catch up you say something that freaks out Astarion.

Word count: 2.6K

A/N: I was undecided if I wanted to post this >.> But what the hells.

You’re on your own, now.  Just for a bit, thanks to Wyll convincing Tav you don’t need to be watched at all times.  And with no more goblins between you and camp you’re able to be left alone to sort out…yourself, you guess. 

You didn’t throw up again after leaving Ethel’s, but you may have done some crying as you walked in circles around the forest by the village.  If it wasn’t for having to face the others you’d have run back to camp, pulled scratch into your tent and bawled your eyes out.

Though you promised to go back to camp you find yourself in the blighted village.  You can't read the sign at the entrance but you know it says Moonhaven, and you try to memorise what you think the letters might be.  

A little stop can’t hurt, you think.  Anything to avoid a conversation about what happened.  And you can collect the herbs that are in the cellar, along with anything else that might be useful.  You take a small swig of the health potion to get the taste of bile out of your mouth and then stash it into your bag, since it’s now nearly empty after leaving your personal hoard at camp, and head down into the cellar.  Whatever objects had been clinking in there remain a mystery–you still haven’t looked inside and won’t even as you add more to the pack.

As much as you had wanted to abandon your staff you took it with you.  Necromancy or not, it could bludgeon someone should the need arise.   And apparently it can cast light in a small radius around you because it does just that when you make it to the bottom of the ladder.  

With a slight purple tint, the staff lets out an eerie glow giving you just enough light to see by.  There’s a small buzz of energy through your body that you assume is the Weave.  Not wanting to question things anymore, you get to work prying open the barrels and crates and find the herbs you’re there for.  You circle around and pick up a couple health potions, a couple mystery potions to be identified later, and find the hidden lever.  You hesitate before pushing it down, but curiosity gets the better of you in the end.  You watch the shelves move and step into the secret cave.

Now that you’re aware of the phantom limb and what it has been reaching for, you can feel the dead weigh on your mind.  You know where they are, kind of in the same way you could navigate your room in the dark.  They’re permanent objects stuck in place, and should you so desire, you can reach out and move them. 

“I guess I’m a necromancer,” you mutter as you pluck a bone cap out of the ground.  “Awesome.  Couldn’t be a wizard or a sorcerer or…wait, am I one of those?”

Wyll seemed to make it sound like a necromancer was separate, but it kind of was a subcategory of wizard.

You straighten and keep moving, turning the corner and finding the cavern.  You ignore everything there and head for the mirror that waits beyond the wooden planks.  

When you step up to it the staff's eyes glow violet again, and the mirror slides open.  You sigh.  “Necromancer it is, then.”

But…maybe there’s a clue to your identity in this place if you’re powerful or rich enough?  You move inside and find the lab on the right, the paperwork scattered about, and logbooks.  Or you assume they’re the logbooks—you can’t read, after all.  Instead of flipping through them you head to the exit and find the rusty key on the shelves.  Soon enough you’re standing before the first trap that lights the braziers, and risk the step.  The room is filled with light as the fires blaze to life.  

The Necromancy of Thay is just beyond the barred door, and this time you can hear it.  It whispers to you, quiet little voices that speak in a language you don’t know.  They’re distant, but like with the bodies of the dead you know where the book is.  

It takes some strength to push the rusty key into the padlock on the door, and with some force you manage to turn it.  The whispers quiet.

“A well hidden laboratory, wonder what it’s doing down here?”

You turn to find Tav, Wyll and Astarion walking into the lab.  He still has both eyes, at least.  After he outed Astarion you thought he might take the hag’s deal. 

“How did you find this place?” you ask.  

He only offers you a shrug, eyes darting around the lab in search of loot.

You relent,  “I found the hatch and started looking around.”

Tav smiles and rests his hands on the back of his head.  Maybe he’s just happy you aren’t ignoring him again, or running away.  By the way his tail flicks at the air you think that might be it, and the reason he’s being quieter than usual.

“I followed your tracks,” Wyll reveals.  Well, he did hunt down all sorts of beings as the Blade of Frontiers.  “What have you found?”

“Creepy book,” you reply.  They approach you, surveying the book and everything else in the small cage.  

“Trapped, most likely,” Astarion says.  He steps forward carefully and does something to the stand the book is on.  It’s so quick you don’t have time to peer around him and get a good look at what “disarm trap” really looks like.

Astarion picks up the book, turning it in his hands.  They begin to discuss what it could be when you remember the bracers that are down here.  You slip away without a thought and find the nearby gilded chest, poking it before opening it.  There are traps here, who knows what else could be rigged to explode?

When you open the chest you feel a wave of magic—Weave—come from it.  It’s different from the warmth of the healing magic, somehow sharper, more demanding.  You pull the bracers out and put them in your bag, nearly overflowing with loot now.  

You turn to rejoin the group only to nearly run into Astarion on the level below you.  You stumble back and catch yourself.  “I think Shadowheart was right about putting a bell on you.”

He gives you a smirk, genuine, your surprise.  A thought occurs but rather than ask it you bite the inside of your right cheek.  

“You are just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Astarion asks.  You don’t know what he’s referring to, considering the amount of surprises you’ve had lately.  He goes on, waving one hand in the air.  “Filthy rich, can’t read, enchanted clothing, and now, a necromancer.”

“To be fair, I don’t know anything about all of that.”  You try not to sigh too hard thinking of what Auntie Ethel had said.

“I wonder what other secrets that little head holds…” he muses.  It’s more to himself than you.  “And you killed on my behalf, I’m flattered.”

“I didn’t mean to, though.”

“I know, that’s what makes it all the more entertaining.  You, the picture of innocence, murdered a man for a vampire spawn.  Ha!”

You furrow your brow, unsure how you could be considered the picture of innocence.   But maybe that was only compared to those Astarion knew.  It was your first murder…and only murder!  Not first.  Just the one, and only, murder.

Yes, you are rather innocent in the terms of this world.

Astarion pinches your cheek between two fingers, bringing you back to the conversation.  “Don’t think this makes us even.”

“Okay,” you say when he lets go.  You rub at where he’d pinched, shocked he touched you so casually.  And not just that…his fingers are warm.  “Uhm…”

Astarion quirks a brow.  “Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?  About being a vampire.”

He leans his weight into one foot, crossing his arms as he eyes you warily.  “I suppose.”

“Why are you warm?  Shouldn’t you be, like, cold?  Or room temperature?”

Astarion, for all his acting, is easy to read.  His eyes widen as he steps back, arms uncrossing and held out before him like he’s trying to catch his balance.  “What did you say?”

“Sorry, is that rude?”  You shift on your heels.  “I just thought vampires would be cold, with the…being dead, and all.”

“We are,” Astarion confirms, voice grim. 

“But your skin is warm.”

“I assure you, it is not.”

“I literally just had your hand on my cheek.  You’re warm.”

“I think I know what temperature my own body is!”  Astarion huffs and walks away.  You notice the bag that rests on his back has the weight of the book within.  

You move down the steps as he paces, annoyed.  

“What’s wrong, Astarion?” Tav asks.

You answer, “I asked him why—”

But you don’t get to finish it because Astarion wraps one hand over your mouth and the other on the back of your head, successfully silencing you.  He says, “Nothing!  Nothing at all.  Just discussing what reward I might offer for valiantly saving me from a monster hunter.”

You roll your eyes.  But having his skin on yours again confirms his heat.  He feels like a living, breathing human.  Why did that freak him out?  When he releases you he gives you a hard stare that’s easy to understand.  Shut.  Up.

Wyll and Tav watch you, waiting to see what you say but you just shrug.  “It’s not that important.”

Wyll frowns, but lets it go.  For now.  Tav bites into his bottom lip but keeps silent.

Astarion’s words remind you of something you’d like to forget.  The Gur.  You can’t even recall his name right now.  Maybe you should have tried harder to keep Astarion away, or convinced them to not go there at all.  But you didn’t, and there was no reset now.

You watch Tav flit about the basement collecting loot.  It does little to help your mood, but at the very least you take comfort in the fact that they didn’t call you a monster for what you did.   You promise to keep better watch of those chords in your head, the little phantom strings that connect to the dead around you.  Because avoiding the dead is an impossible task, at least as long as you travel with Tav and everyone.

When you return to the surface the others are waiting by the well.  You spot your bag of gold on Gale’s shoulder and hurry to take it from him, but he holds up his hands to stop you.  “What kind of man would I be if I let an injured person carry so much weight?”

You’re about to argue but think better of it when the world sways a little.  You manage to stay still, probably, and thank him instead.  

“Oh, right,” you say, pulling the magic bracers from your other pack.  “I thought you might want these.”

Gale takes the bracers.  It’s then that you notice the bags under his eyes are especially dark—and you realize he hasn’t told anyone about his condition.  As far as you know.   The little lines that travel up the side of his neck and towards his left eye are darker, too.

Your thumbnail scratches at your staff as you wait for him to say something.  Anything.  Literally anything would be good right now because it’s been ten whole seconds of him staring at the bracers and that’s long enough of him being silent that the others are now looking.

“Gale?” Tav asks.

It jolts him out of his stupor.  “Yes?  Oh, yes.”  He looks at you.  “Thank you.  Perhaps there’s something I must admit…”

Gale goes through his first speech about the orb, and then his second.  It’s a lot to take in in one go, if you haven’t heard it all before.  At the end he says, “I understand if you want to part ways—this orb, for lack of a better word, is immensely dangerous.”

Tav asks, “Why?”

All eyes turn to him, his head tilted with a smile on his face.  

“Because I could explode,” Gale says slowly.  

“So?”  Tav points to each companion as he adds, “Shar worshipper, warlock turned devil, angry githyanki, infernal engine that could explode, vampire, necromancer with memory loss, and I’m sorry Halsin we’ve barely just met, but…uh, old?”

There are worse things to be said, about all of you.  

“Plus we’ve all got worms in our heads,” Karlach says.  “Oh, well except for…”

Gale lets out a small laugh.  “Thank you.  All of you.  Now, even I’m getting tired of my own voice so shall we get going?”

The group begins their journey back to the goblin camp. 

“I am not angry,” Lae’zel says, her voice almost a hiss.  “At least not at any of you.  The mindflayers, however…”

Halsin walks next to her, asking questions about the tadpoles and their magic, while Astarion and Wyll follow, then Shadowheart, Karlach, and Tav.  You and Gale are last to leave the village.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Gale asks. 

You hesitate too long before answering.  “No.”

“You are a terrible liar.”  He keeps his voice low as you walk, putting the bracers on his wrists.  “But I consider that a good thing.”

You chew the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say.  They seem to consider your knowledge to be some kind of deadly premonition, so maybe you should lean into that.  “I can’t really explain it.”

Gale smiles but it’s weak.  

“We’ll find lots of stuff for you to eat,” you assure him.  “Or absorb, I mean.  Like those!”

You point at the bracers.  He holds them closer to where you know the orb is tattooed on his chest, breathing deeply. 

“And if we can’t find anything there’s always my boots, or coat.”

“You would offer me those?”  Gale looks you up and down like he had when you’d first met.

You shrug.  “Of course.  Oh, do you need them now?  Because I just need to sit down to get them—”

You lift a foot as you walk, nearly stumbling to the ground when Gale stops you.  “No, no, I’m fine for now.   I am just—very grateful to have such a generous companion.”

“It’s not really generosity if it’s something you need though,” you argue.  

Gale smiles gently but moves on.  “So what’s this I hear about you being a necromancer?”

Whatever emotion crosses your face makes him pull back and try to change the subject.  Regret, maybe, or pain.  You can’t focus on controlling your features with so much going on.   “I don’t want to be…that.  I can feel…I can feel where they are—like something is dragging behind me.  It’s heavy, but easy.  I don’t want it to be easy.”

“Just because something comes easily to you doesn’t mean you need to do it.”

You look up at him, unaware your gaze has been on the ground this whole time.  “But I did it by accident.  I can’t—I can’t exactly control it.”

“That’s no problem to learn,” Gale says, as if moving the dead was no harder than riding a bike.  “Learn to control it, and don’t use it.  Though if you can move a boar in your sleep you must have some considerably…powerful benefactors in Baldur’s Gate to deal with.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean to frighten you,” he says, “but if you can use magic without the intent, without the movements or incantations, then you hold a great power.  And that is something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the wealthy elite.”

Chosen.  Like Gale had once been of Mystra you too could be the preferred mortal of a god.

“Meaning there may be some unhappy people if I don’t use magic.”

“It’s only one possibility of many,” Gale assures you.  “And until we know more I am happy to help you control your magic.  I’m told I’m an excellent teacher.”

You twirl the staff between your fingers and laugh.  “It would be an honour to learn from you.”

Taglist:

@half-poison-and-half-hope @sanscas @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @thequeen-oni @terrenuserinj @straewberrysoda @theomnipotentfox @becksynthetic @quitecontrary-to-mary @furblrwurblr @mega-trash-cringe @fandomsbookclub @dontneedbiologytoadopt @pebble-bb @v3lv3tvampir3 @mrow-kat @jeneralmischief @notsaelty @runaway-17 @aoirohi @tinswhimsy @xxgrimripp3rxx @kemonocat-blog @thetiredtoad0-0 @sleepydang @iwannabealocalcryptid @troutberryspoon @betwixttheweave @the-pale-elfs-love

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Can I request headcanons for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to his gn s/o admitting that they have suicidal thoughts?

A/N: Oh, nonnie! *Hugs* This ask was perfect timing because I was struggling with suicidal ideation last week- big time. Me and the kitchen floor were very well acquainted last week. So trust me, I know it’s not easy, but please try and hang in there. These feelings and thoughts, as awful and all-consuming as they are, are still temporary. They will pass. Everything passes eventually. It can’t stay the same forever. So if it’s bad now, just know it won’t always be this way. And in the meantime, I hope these headcanons bring you some comfort. 

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions of Suicide, Suicidal Ideation 

The BG3 Tiefling Boys Reacting to Their S/O Admiting They Have Suicidal Thoughts 

Dammon: 

Dammon’s taken aback when you tell him. The two of you being a couple has made him so happy, and he’s told you as much. In his enthusiasm, Dammon simply assumed you always felt the same level of elation he did. The fact that you have these sorts of thoughts is all news to him. 

He’s immediately concerned for your safety, worried that any second the thoughts may become too much to bear, and you’ll feel no other choice than to act on them. He contemplates speaking to someone older, someone wiser for advice on what he should do to be a supportive partner. He just wants to get this right. He doesn’t want to add any stress or difficulty to what you’re already going through with any of his reactions or fears. 

Dammon starts checking up on you more often, at random times throughout the day. He’ll take a break from his forging and pop his head inside to find you, wherever you are. Some days he sits with you and talks about the current projects he’s making. Other days the two of you sit in silence, sipping cool glasses of water. Dammon wants to ensure you don’t ever feel as if you’re going through this alone. He wants to show you that he’ll always be nearby, should you need him. 

Dammon will also make you random presents whenever he has a little extra time. It’s not much- a pendant here, or a broach there, a bunch of little things to remind you of him when he can’t be there. 

Dammon suggests you try writing your feelings out in a diary of sorts. And he promises not to peek- it's for your benefit only. His sketchbook helps him so much in trying to overcome a design flaw or difficulty. He thinks, perhaps, if you had more space to expand your feelings and thoughts onto paper, they wouldn't feel as oppressive in your mind.

You find his tail always wrapping around your ankle, or even your waist, when you're at his side. It’s like his tail is telling you what echoes in the subconscious of his mind: Dammon can’t lose you. He’s been through so much already. You have brought so much light and joy into his life. He couldn’t bear to let you go. 

He begs you, to please come to him if you should ever get to a point where you don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t want to lose you. You mean so much to him. Please, let him in. The two of you can weather this together. 

Essentially, Dammon becomes all the more attentive and upfront/vocal about his affection for you. He hopes to shower you in so much love, that the little voice in your head has no chance to bring you down. 

Rolan: 

Rolan is sickened, and just a teensy bit angry. Not at you, but at himself. Hearing you confess to having such thoughts makes him all the more concerned about you. But of course, being the stubborn tiefling he is, Rolan doesn’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick. 

Rolan first considers looking into a spell or enchantment that can do away with such feelings, before you explain to him that, even if that were possible, in the long run, that’s not how these things work. These kinds of things can’t be fixed by magic. And even if there was a spell that might work, it’s not the kind of thing magic should be used to interfere with. This makes Rolan more irritable about the whole thing because he’s spent so long studying, building up his skills to be a wizard. But he hasn’t spent the time working on his emotional intelligence or intimacy prowess. And now, he fears that lack of proficiency may cost him you. 

But he tries! Oh boy, does he try! He’s constantly sending either Lia or Cal to check up on you when he’s too busy to come see you himself. It becomes a bit of an inside joke between the three of you, how large that one vein in Rolan’s forehead becomes whenever Cal or Lia report back to him about you. 

Once Rolan comes to understand you didn’t tell him so he’d be responsible for keeping you under watch, but because you just wanted him to ‘get it’, he becomes much less overbearing in his instructions. Instead of ordering you to go outside for some sun, he’ll offer to take a stroll with you around Sorcerous Sundries. Rather than forcing you to eat every couple of hours, Rolan will show up in your room some night with a select baked goods he picked up from a street vendor for you to share over tea before falling asleep. 

He has difficulty talking about it most days, but he does hold your hands and tell you once, very passionately, that he cares for you, deeply, and he hates to think you were hurting all this time in silence. He asks you to please, please keep sharing your feelings with him. He knows his reactions aren’t always the most encouraging, but he swears that no matter his initial reaction, he will always be on your side. 

Deep down he does want to take care of you, he feels responsible for your well-being. It’s rather similar to how he feels responsible for providing for Lia and Cal. But with you, it’s all the more profound. There’s no point in him studying to become the greatest wizard in Baldur’s Gate if you’re not at his side. Without you, very little would seem worth it.  

Zevlor:

Zevlor is alarmed, and immediately all the more worried about your well-being. Zevlor was already anxious before about the two of you being together, thinking of himself as undeserving. He felt he was too old, too damaged, and too changed to be a man worthy of your affections. Becoming an official couple quieted most of those doubts but hearing you confess that you harbor such thoughts brings all his insecurities back to the forefront. 

Is it something he’s done? Is it something he didn’t do? Is it his fault? He’s already apologizing profusely before you can even get a word in edgewise. You are so incredible, he thinks you’re so brilliant. The fault must lie with him. 

Once you explain how it’s not anybody’s fault, neither his nor yours, Zevlor seems to settle a little. He still worries a great deal about you, probably the most out of all the tieflings, because he knows the exact desperation you’re feeling. He’s felt it before. He’s felt it a few times throughout his life actually. 

As a Hellrider, Zevlor saw a great deal of conflict. And when Elturel fell into Avernus, he was forced to endure even more. There’s so much pain and suffering in the world that when you’re stuck in the middle of it, it often seems like there’s no way out. 

Because Zevlor has felt such lows before, he also knows there isn’t always much you can do to stop it right away. Yes, you can meditate or talk your feelings out or perhaps write them down in a journal or log, but there’s no quick fix. It’s a heavy burden you must carry, even as you look out into the coming horizon. 

The one thing Zevlor knows he can do is help you carry the load. Zelvor reminds you that you are not alone in this fight. Granted, he may no longer be the paladin he once was, but that will not stop him from aiding you the best he can. He’ll pay you extra attention, and spend more quality time with you. He’ll sit with you and rub your back as you cry. And on the days it's all just too much to take, Zevlor will stay in bed with you, his tail curled around your leg, his claws scratching gently through your hair as you lay there hiding away from the world. 

If your feelings ever get worse, Zevlor might consider recommending you speak to someone who perhaps can help, more than he can help you alone. A cleric or a monk, a druid… Anyone. Zevlor knows from his fellow veterans- there are more people out there living with the exact same feelings as you. Perhaps being able to attend a group setting to talk, as he does on occasion with his former Hellriders from Elturel, would help strengthen you on your continued journey.  

Zevlor approaches the situation with much more wisdom and understanding. He works to comfort you the best he can, but he also possesses enough humility to let you grieve as needed. 

[fun-k-board]

Can I request headcanons for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to his gn crush accidentally confessing to him?

Dammon, Rolan and Zevlor If Their Gender Neutral Crush Accidentally Confesses To Him Headcanons

Note(s) : The reader isn't Tav or durge they're just sort of a random person, I don't think the race is ever specified (correct me if I'm wrong) and neither are any described features or their class.

I'm not too knowledgeable of Dammon, Zevlor and Rolan's character in BG3 and I'm so sorry if the characters are wrong.

This is a mix of random general relationship headcanons as well as the random confession.

Dammon

He's all about outwardly caring for those he loves and he understands that love can come in many ways, he had a strong love for you before you had even confessed aloud, a mix of platonic and romantic feelings that he would showcase by doing tasks for you.

Whether he gained his crush first or you did doesn't matter in his eyes. What matters to him is that he doesn't know if you liked him back for quite a while, not until you had confessed that is. Dammon's not the type of man to make wild guesses about romance, even if you're more affectionate he doesn't think anything of it because some people are just like that with their friends and he thinks that it'd be presumptuous to assume.

He decides to eventually try and court you by making you small items or helping you as much as he could with his blacksmith job, things like necklaces, bracelets, maybe even armour, whatever you prefer, really.

Dammon isn't a fan of the typical Tiefling courting rituals, they're the same as humans but with violent and sarcastic speech, along with playful teasing and pushing their object of affection around. Of course, he won't judge if you do that to him, he can take teasing, but he much prefers to show his love through affectionate actions and words.

When you confess to him he gets more excited than embarrassed or flirty, he adores you and to know that you feel the same way as he does gets him a little giddy. He won't even realise that this could be embarrassing to you or even uncomfortable, straight away asking if you'd like to go on a date or be a couple. He does apologise after he realises how forward he's being though.

Rolan

In a relationship Dammon is very much someone who shows his love through acts of service, he'll craft things for you, help you with your job(s) and even just random tasks you might not want to or be able to do by yourself.

Sometimes he'll make random pieces of jewellery, he says that it doesn't matter if you want to wear them all the time, just as long as you like them. He accepts any gifts even if they're not something he likes, he can find a way to make it practical.

Dammon loves to tease you about your shy confession, in public and private. Unless you directly tell him you don't like it he'll randomly bring it up during conversation, when you're being cocky or teasing him it's an easy and fairly cute memory he can use to make fun of you.

Cooking is something that's interesting for the both of you, I don't think that he'd be too good at cooking or baking, not so horrible that he'll burn down a house, but not really good enough that you'd be able to have a lot of his food. Don't get him wrong, he'd love to learn, but he does prefer to have you cook while he gets ingredients and helps with any part of it that doesn't require anything that requires experience or talent in cooking.

His cuddles are very shifty, I don't think he likes to stay still for long and so you'll constantly be switching positions and he'll tend to play with your hair or hands if you let him. He might roll you around so you're laying on top of him, he's on top of you, you're sideways and hugging him, or he's hugging you, it generally just depends on how fidgety he feels on that day.

His kisses are short, he likes to give a small peck to your lips every few moments. Whether you're busy with your work or he is with his blacksmith work, then boom, kiss out of nowhere on your cheek or neck, he loves to catch you off guard and laughs whenever you get surprised by them.

Rolan personally doesn't do the typical tiefling courting strategy, of course he's sarcastic, but he's not going to be spewing out any violent speech when it's supposed to be a romantic hint to his feelings toward you.

His reaction would mostly depend on how it happened, and I can mainly see it going a few ways. Either A, you accidentally blurt it out during a conversation directly to him, or B, he overhears you talking about your love for him in some way, maybe going over a confession you're planning with a friend or you're just ranting about how much you like him.

If you blurt it out during conversation he's certainly surprised, but he is wondering if it's some sort of joke even if you're not that type of person. He will absolutely ask if Lyla or Cal put you up to this. Whereas if he overhears you he's much more likely to believe it's genuine, and he won't strut over while the other person is still there, he'll wait until you're done with the conversation and then strut over.

Whatever the way it happens, he will a hundred percent tease you about it. Nothing too heavy and it's mainly a ploy to confirm that you do in fact like him, just so he can make sure the situation is correct and he's not just assuming. He'll just outwardly say things like 'So, you have feelings for me?', 'a birdie seems to have told me about your feelings.', etc.

When you confirm you do in fact have romantic feelings for him he's over the moon, of course he won't outwardly show it and attempts to act suave, he's failing miserably and stumbles over one or two words at first, with false cocky arrogance and deepening his voice to try and make you more embarrassed than he is. Although, if you look down at his feet you can see that his tail is swishing back and forth.

In a relationship he's a mix between awkward and suave, he loves to tease you but if you tease back he gets huffy and storms off, not because he's angry, but because he's just so embarrassed. Especially if you do it around his siblings, Cal and Lia will help you make fun of him but he won't forgive you, unless you give him a kiss or gift him a new book and then it's history.

Rolan will sometimes remind you of how you so forwardly and awkwardly confessed to him to try and make you embarrassed, whether or not if you actually bite back or not doesn't matter, but he loves to do it when you flirt with him first. Oh, you think you've caught him off guard? Well, here's his ultimate trap card! Unless you're not embarrassed by it, then he's stuck trying to remember some other event that could make you embarrassed.

Zevlor

He's not too great at cooking but he can absolutely try for you, he's better at baking because of the strict step by step instructions, but for cooking where it mainly relies on taste and altering recipes he can struggle a little. Rolan does that cute thing if you like to cook or bake where he wraps his arms around you from behind and gives you a lil' kiss.

His cuddles are very 'bear hug' like, when you're spooning him he always asks you to wrap your arms around his waist and push yourself against him fully, he adores the closeness and comfort of it. When he's spooning you he does the same, arms around your waist, his face buries in your neck, making sure to position his horns away from your face. He prefers cuddling in bed and laying down rather than sitting up or on the sofa, the sofas smaller so it makes it harder to get comfortable in his opinion.

Rolan's kisses are always short and sweet, gentle and usually he'll give two or three pecks in a row because he can't get enough of you. Sometimes he'll kiss you for longer or more passionately, usually if one of you is upset or had a long day and just needs one another to relax.

So, Zevlor's not exactly the most confident or well sought after in the romance department. His age shows on his face and many people seem to be turned off by it, of course there's the whole issue with his past that many tieflings dislike him over, which they make painfully clear.

Although of course, one man's trash is another's treasure, that's where you come in. You both express interest in one another, if you don't catch on due to differences in culture, a general misunderstanding or complete obliviousness, that's up to you. But Zevlor does try to court you.

Regardless of the fact that he's single and has been for a while, he still values romance to some part. Even though it's not to the point that he actively wishes for a relationship or is miserable outside of one.

Overall, Tiefling courting rituals are similar to human courting rituals, but with a lot more grim gallows humor they use to cope with being shunned in most societies that you might not be comfortable with. In Tiefling spaces a common dark joke is 'The fastest way to a man's heart is to either make it laugh it up, or cut it out of him.' If you are a Tiefling, or perhaps from a culture or a specific race that has similar courting rituals to a Tiefling, then he will most likely just stick with what he'd normally say. Nothing too intense, but definitely things that would make a stranger unaware of these traditions to raise a brow.

If you're a non Tiefling he might try to dial back what he would typically do to court one of his own race, in his years he understands that many races or cultures will show love through kind actions, but for Tieflings, courting is all about sarcasm and being a bit more 'violent' verbally. But, if a Tiefling didn't like you then they wouldn't pick on you.

Many Tieflings in the grove are already, painfully so, aware of your little crush on the old Tiefling man. Whether it's because you've talked to them about it or because you're just so obvious, gossip can spread like a wild hellfire, everybody will know even if only one person does.

He most likely had one or two flings in his time, but to hear someone so suddenly admit that they have feelings for him is rather new, and, let me just say, I think he would have some clue before you even said it out loud. Zevlor would never outright think 'they love me', but perhaps would be under the impression that you admire him in some way, especially with how many tieflings try to hint to him that you do love him.

I don't think he would even attempt to court you if he didn't think you'd be at least a little interested.

Obviously if you're reading this you most likely want Zevlor to reciprocate your feelings and accept your confession, which he does, his confession back isn't blunt per se but he definitely gets his feelings across without mincing any words.

In a relationship he's a little awkward at first, but definitely not shy. It's mostly because it's been a while since his last lover but he also wants to make it work with you, but after a few weeks he really does begin to settle in. He'll suggest activities to strengthen your bond, like cooking meals for each other and the other tieflings, training with weapons or fighting styles either one of you might not be perfect with or against, and sometimes just taking a stroll around to admire nature.

Zevlor will adore it if you bite back with equal sarcasm, he is never outright rude, especially if he knows you can't handle it, but he does love a good playful back and forth.

I don't think Zevlor would ever tease you about your awkward and sudden confession in public, maybe with a few close friends of yours or his, but it's mainly when you two are alone and it's usually just if you tease him first. It's a fun little inside joke between you two that you can always find humor in.

Zevlor's great at cooking that can give you energy and also taste good with minimal ingredients, it's nothing spectacular that you can eat thousands of plates full of, but they're always able to give a pep in your step. He, however, isn't too good at baking, and so if you like to bake then he appreciates some lessons when either of you have the time.

I think he'd be rather awkward and stiff if you ever cuddle for the first few times, after a while he does learn what you both like and how to position himself to be comfortable for each other, but he feels very cumbersome especially if you're laying down. Zevlor prefers to cuddle on the sofa just sitting next to each other one arm around another's waist style.

His kisses are passionate and like the movies, that's the best way I can describe them. He wants you to know how much he loves kissing you and so he takes your breath away every time, if either of you are busy or in a rush he will give a small peck to your cheek as to not make you dawdle.

[lonepower]

ok you know what i need more bodysharing/brain roommates. malevolent got me feeling some kind of way and I need MORE. tvtropes has like 15 different categories that are all sort-of-but-not-really under the umbrella of what I'm looking for, and sorting through all of that is a little too unwieldy, so I'm turning to you guys. 

key factors of the specific flavor of "multiple consciousnesses stuck in the same meat suit" that I'm looking for are:

any variation of, a human (or this universe's equivalent [so like, an elf where elves are commonplace would count]) has another, nonhuman consciousness attached to them and only them in such a way that the two can communicate, and subsequently

they Banter Constantly

^that^ is probably the most important qualifier here tbh

second most important qualifier is that they are not separated at the end (this obv. doesn't apply if the thing is still ongoing). it's okay if the passenger gets a new body (cf. subnautica) or is freed from their binding (cf. baldur's gate), as long as the partnership isn't broken.

Related: they don't actually have to SHARE a body (so enchanted objects, an AI implant, a Mysterious Disembodied Voice, an imaginary friend, etc., also count). they just have to be tethered to each other such that the passenger cannot move around or function on their own without a host. (I think this is part of why it's hard to narrow down on tvtropes: it's more about the dynamic than about the specific mechanism of "possession".)

Third most important qualifier is that only the current host can hear/communicate with the passenger, even if other people around them are aware of the passenger's existence.

two humans stuck in the same body is okay as long as the other criteria are met, but I would prefer it if the host is human(/equivalent) and the passenger is not (or vice versa if the passenger/possessor is the one with control of the body, as with things like the yeerks, most demonic possession, etc).

it doesn't have to be romantic. they don't even have to like each other. conversely, it absolutely can be romantic too.

They DO have to be the POV character/s for a significant majority (like, at least 60-75%) of the work, because the internal back-and-forth is the entire point.

Bonus points if: they do actually share a body; they are either never physically separated either, or are rejoined at the end (voluntarily or otherwise); passenger has lots of setting-relevant knowledge/an alien or fantastical perspective, while host shows passenger what it's like to be Alive™; despite constantly butting heads, host and passenger work patently better as a team; super extra bonus points for all of the above 

My favorite examples of what I am looking for:

Malevolent podcast (super extra bonus points x10000000000000000)

Venom movies (this is probably the codifier for most people here tbh) (super extra bonus points)

Subnautica: Below Zero (AL-AN gets their own body but stays with Robin, and it hits all of the others)

Forspoken (super extra bonus points)

the "a bagel. two bagels." vine

(I know there's a couple others that I'm just blanking on. If I remember them, I'll add them.)

other things that have moments or flavors of this, but aren't focused on it/don't quite hit all of them:

the Bartimaeus trilogy had it at the end a little, but, well. it didn't last very long. (i STILL haven't recovered from that ending and i was, what? 15 or something? g o d)

the emperor in bg3 kiiiinda counts since they're magically bound to the player/party and can't exist outside their prison, but they do have their own body and are not nearly as chatty as I'm  looking for. also, while only the holders of the prism can hear them, All of the holders of the prism can hear them and I'd really prefer one-on-one.

I think Death Note would also count? I read it in like 6th grade and never finished it so my memory is patchy At Best, but since nobody else can interact with Ryuk, he's bound to whoever holds the notebook, and he's the supplier of the holder's powers, it's close enough that I would accept something similar.

Slay the Princess has the bickering in spades and fulfills the "do not separate" criterion depending on your ending, although the jury's out on whether the voices are Actually their own entities or just symptoms of you losing it. Also, nobody in it is human. The bickering is definitely good enough to make up for it though. (The fact that it's Jonny Sims clearly having a grand old time might have something to do with it...)

with the caveat that I have not watched any of it, i think jadzia (and?) dax from ds9 miiight count, but they're part of an ensemble cast and thus fail the "pov characters for a majority of the work" and "we get to hear their constant internal banter" criteria.

things I tried that fit at least some criteria, but didn't like for various reasons:

the good demon by jimmy cajoleas. promising concept, but 1) the protagonist smokes, which is an instant and unnegotiable dealbreaker (seriously, who makes their protagonist do that in The Year Of Our Lord Anything Later Than 1950?? and to a child? DEATH. ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON.), and 2) I looked it up and they separate at the end anyways, so there's even LESS of a point. 

the venom comics. honestly I just... really dislike superhero comics, there's always way too many of them to keep track of + I'm very shallow and they're usually unbearably ugly to me (and also having started with the movies I just found comics!eddie really unpleasant tbh) 

parasyte manga. perfect concept, great dynamic, but its particular brand of body horror was... not great for me and I had to put it down. (horror in and of itself isn't a dealbreaker, though, so if you've got something similar that doesn't involve lots of hands bent at nauseating angles, I'll gladly take it.)

Cyberpunk 77 has the two-humans flavor of this and hits almost all of the other criteria, but i viscerally hated literally everything about j*hnny s*lverhand with every fiber of my being and the rest of the game was so mediocre already that i just gave up

....I know it's a highly specific/potentially niche dynamic, but if anyone has any recs, PUHLEEASE hmu!!! I'm looking for original work rather than fanfiction, but apart from that, format doesn't matter at all (although if it's some like super difficult indie game or something, I probably won't get very far lol). the MAIN points are 1) bickering and 2) host-and-passenger, so if you have something that hits those but not the others, feel free to share it anyway!

[josnhoes]

which of the self aware bg3 characters do you think would be the most romantically interested in reader?

As we know all the companions are thirsty Lil gremlins. So the option is all of them. Save Tav and Durge for the simple reason of wanting to keep them as bland as possible so people can put in their Tavs and Durges. But like if you want them to have a mommy kink hit them up too I guess lol.

Some little things on each main companion in order of thirstiest to less thirsty.

Gale is the most thirsty. Simply because you are kind to him. Even when the truth comes out you support him and do your best to see him happy. Even if you can be a little mean about his use of 'fancy' words. He'd say stop calling him your thesaurus but you say it so fondly he can't deny it makes his face heat up a little.

Wyll and Karlach tie.

Karlach loves how different from everyone you are. Given your story that's no surprise but you kept hyping her up. Even as she was on literal fire you were confident that the group would help her. She fell a little harder when she found out from a few people that you'd been looking into fire protectant armor or enchantments so you could hug her with out her fearing for your safety.

Wyll loves how warm you are. When he got changed you sought him out despite the party. You reminded him that not o ly does a pair of horns dictate who he was, but that no matter the form he took human or tiefling that there would always be those who would dislike him. You reminded him that his appearance was not as important as his actions. With a little bonus of now he had a whole new group to inspire and motioned to the tiefling kids. When you speak to him like that how could his heart not open to you?

Astarion takes a long time to fall but not as long as Lae'zel. It's not a single moment that makes him realize it either. It's an accumulation of little things. The playful yet kind behaivor. The way you look after him even after you know what he was. And a little bit the way when he confessed his vampirism that you just were surprised and asked, "That was a secret?" Okay he hated that moment but he gets a good laugh of it now. You treat him not only as a person with his own say in things, but as an equal. He loves it. It was about time *he* got kindness so why shouldn't he indulge.

Shadowheart loves the way you respect her. You never push nor prod for answers to things but leave the door open for her to tell you things when or if she does. Though she can see how badly you want to know her more. It was sweet. Though she has banned you from alcohol after the time you accidently got drunk and proudly called her Shart. Never again.

Halsin would be higher on the list if it weren't for the fact he is scared to act on those feelings far longer. He wants you, he wants you to look at him the way you marvel at nature and cities alike. But he fears a couple of things, at first it's the fact that no one really thinks you're all there in the head himself in the start as well. It would be *wrong* to take advantage of you. Then once the truth is revealed he fears loving you only to loose you if you get sent home. The fear of loss makes him keep a distance. Maybe someday he'll be brave, welcome the chance Silvanus had given him bring you to him.

Lae'zel was completely and utterly disinterested for the longest time. You were like a newborn fawn. Unless, weak, not an ounce of a threat to anyone aside maybe bumping into to someone. You were touched in the head. Then you grew on her. You despite having no clue how fought. You acted fast in battle to protect the others and even sometimes herself. You were surprisingly perceptive of the battlefield. It was that potential that drew her to you. Now she doesn't love you in the traditional sense. There is no plan of a happy ending. But there is a fondness of sorts, and potential for a few intense nights.

[mumms-the-word]

Illithid Souls - Part 2

The Case Studies: Tav/Durge and Orpheus

In Part 1, I went over some of the basics of what a soul normally is, where souls go after death, and whether mind flayers have souls. I ultimately ended up saying that most humanoids have apostolic souls (souls that deities recognize as being capable of divine worship), while mind flayers have some other kind of soul, one that isn't recognizable by deities or devils. This is why Jergal and Mystra and so on think that illithid don’t have souls. When a humanoid with an apostolic soul turns into a mind flayer, their soul is either ejected and moves on to the Fugue Plane, or their soul is transformed into a non-apostolic soul (depending on what you want to believe).

But the problem is, that's normal lore, and BG3 has made things a little strange by imbuing all the tadpoles that infect our characters with Netherese magic. And that, friends, makes the BG3 mind flayers different.

This post is going to look at some interesting context from the game for the Emperor, Tav/Durge and Orpheus. (It got pretty long so I'm moving Karlach and Gale to a third post.) We're going to figure out whether the rules about mind flayers and souls change now that there's Netherese magic involved. The ultimate answer is yes, but how? And is it consistent?

(Spoiler: it isn't, but you can use this lore to come up with your own theories and ideas)

Let's take another deep dive! Buckle up, and don't worry, I have a short summary at the bottom.

The Case of the Emperor

I'm actually not going to linger too long on the Emperor because for many reasons he breaks the lore. If he's Balduran and a mind flayer, he shouldn't have lived as long as he says he's lived. Not only that, his memory is allegedly flawless when the lore states he shouldn't remember any of his previous life (there are other inconsistencies too, but that's a different post). However, I do want to touch on a couple of things.

The Emperor both is and isn't our baseline for how a mind flayer normally exists. He should be a normal lore-accurate mind flayer (though a rogue one), because he wasn't infected with a Netherese-touched tadpole. But he's a Special Mind Flayer instead, for reasons we don't entirely understand (again, he generally breaks the lore). Perhaps this is because of his brush with Gortash and the other Chosen of the Dead Three, or perhaps he just somehow has a strong enough personality that when he broke free of an elder brain's compulsion a lot of his memories came back to him. Who knows?

But regardless, a few conversations with him reinforce the idea that mind flayers typically aren't completely soulless. At the very least, they still contain memories (he has his memories of his time as Balduran), intelligence (he's a schemer, that's for sure), and personality/emotions:

Emperor: You think that mind flayers are soulless husks who feel nothing. Belynne thought the same at first. You are wrong. Feeling is vital to the pursuit of anyone's goals. Even a mind flayer's. Like you, mind flayers know fear. Like you, we crave recognition. But unlike you, unlike the others of my kind, I am no slave to either. My end is and has always been freedom.

We can quibble about whether or not he's manipulating the player here, but his words are generally true. As discussed in part 1, mind flayers are not soulless husks. When they're enthralled, they might be more devoid of independent thinking, but they have emotions/feelings and can create memories. They just might have a smaller range of emotion than humanoids do (thus his reference to "not being a slave" to fear or desire) and their memories might not be entirely their own (more on that with Karlach in part 3).

Regardless, the Emperor is our leading authority for what it's like to be a mind flayer, so we're sort of forced to trust him when we ask him to explain what full ceremorphosis is about to do to us, especially because its his Supreme Tadpole that is about to change us.

Player: What would happen to me? Emperor: You would be altered in mind, body, and soul beyond all recognition.

So this is interesting. Altered in mind and body, that's a given. Altered in soul, though...what does that mean?

Remember in Part 1 where I offered two theories about what happens to the original soul of someone undergoing ceremorphosis? Theory 1: they just die and the soul moves on to the Fugue Plane, and the mind flayer gets a new illithid soul from...somewhere. Theory 2: The soul transforms and remains tethered to the mind flayer body, different than it was before (potentially unrecognizable as the original soul, but some elements of the original may remain).

The Emperor's words suggest more of theory 2 here. But is that, in fact, what happens when we become illithid? Well...let's find out.

The Case of Tav and Durge (or most Origin runs)

When you do turn into a mind flayer, the narrative typically focuses on how powerful you feel. Your mind and body feel as though they are one and you are also desperately hungry. There isn't much in the Narrator's dialogue or your dialogue with your friends to suggest that your soul has been completely obliterated, though.

In fact, there's an interesting moment that happens if you turn into a mind flayer without the Emperor there and go up to Orpheus still in his cage. The way I accomplished this was to ask to change into a mind flayer so the Emperor would give me the Supreme Tadpole, then I said I would change later, then stopped the Emperor from consuming Orpheus so he would leave. Then I used the Supreme Tadpole to turn into a mind flayer and went to examine Orpheus.

Narrator: *His eyes are unseeing, his voice silenced. But even with his mind caged, you can feel his power. You can almost taste the fluid beneath his scalp, cushioning that sweet, dense brain, and the power within it. You are hungry.* Lae'zel: I see that look, I know that look. Don't you dare. Player: [Wisdom Check] Cling to your former nature. Quash your hunger. This is not who you are. Narrator: *Your mind and body whine with disappointment. But your soul lets out a gentle thrum of relief.*

I find this fascinating for a couple of reasons. One, the check I chose (there are two, the second is a strength check) meant reaching out to a "former" nature and reminding myself (or my Tav's self) that this is not who she is. When I succeeded, my Tav's mind and body protested, but her soul was filled with relief.

So she has a soul! And it seems to be her own soul, but perhaps transformed. So this sort of supports theory 2, that perhaps when humanoids turn into mind flayers, their soul is altered. This could also just be a quirk specific to those infected with a Netherese tadpole, or even further, someone who transformed using the Emperor's Supreme Tadpole.

Because here's the thing. When Tav/Durge, Orpheus, Companion!Karlach, or any Origin character transforms into a mind flayer using the Supreme Tadpole, they become a special mind flayer. This is mostly due to the Netherese magic, which adds some weird and undefined changes to the whole mind flayer thing. I'm going to use "I guess it's the Netherese magic/Supreme Tadpole" as a scapegoat this entire post because I don't know what else to point to to explain how these guys are just Different Than Your Average Mind Flayer, so be prepared for that. But at the very least, we know something's different.

In fact the Narrator literally says you're probably different than the average mind flayer after you defeat the Netherbrain!

Narrator: *You are a mind flayer, the very thing you sought to eradicate. Whatever self you still possess is quickly ebbing away. Your friends and enemies alike are ripe for manipulation, and if not manipulation, then consumption. Soon you will be able to trust yourself at all. You will be a monstrosity beyond redemption. Or not. Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like the Emperor. The risk is certainly yours to take - will you?*

Unlike normal mind flayers who lose most of their memories (and allegedly most of their personality/former selves) almost immediately after transforming, it takes Tav/Durge/most Origins longer to lose that sense of self, if indeed they lose it at all. The Narrator suggests we might be losing parts of ourselves, but there's a chance we're unique and might retain our sense of selves.

We do see glimpses of us retaining our personalities in the epilogue of course, but what is more interesting is if you decide to imprison yourself post-ceremorphosis. Withers will visit you in prison for a final conversation. (This conversation shifts a little if you're a Durge, but here is the Tav conversation.)

Withers: Thou remainest in thy chains. A hero, sacrificed. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet...something glimmerest about thee. Something is not lost. Dost thou feel it? The spark of the divine within thee? Or does thy hunger consume thee? Player: [Option 1] I'm still myself. I don't know if I belong here. Player: [Option 2] I feel the hunger. But I feel myself, too. I'm not sure which to trust. Player: [Option 3] Have you come to torment me with hypotheticals, old friend? Player: [Option 4] Does it matter? This is my life now.

If you go with option 4, you hear Withers ponderingly say, "Thy life...yes..." before moving on to say that fate isn't done with you yet, which is his response to all the other options as well.

But the more important thing is that even Jergal recognizes a "spark of the divine" within you. Your soul should either be cast off and already wandering the Fugue Plane (if going with theory 1) or so completely transformed that it's no longer an apostolic soul that Jergal would be able to recognize as a god. Yet Jergal recognizes the soul within your mind flayer body as being...well, partly apostolic.

Interesting!

We get a similar dialogue if you sacrifice yourself as a mind flayer, too, though this is fascinating because now it's Withers literally finding your soul (still shaped like a mind flayer, which is interesting) somewhere that is...very gray. There's a suggestion that this might be in the Fugue Plane, or in some limbo state where souls sometimes end up, but regardless, Withers, the soul-finder himself, was able to track down your lingering soul.

Withers: Thou flickerest in the dark - but with mine keen eye, I hath scryed thee. I told thee once that an illithid hath no soul, and yet thou seemest to have something of the spirit about thee. I cannot account for it. How delightful. Tell me, how doth it feel to roam about as thou art now, transformed? Player: [Option 1] Where am I? [mumm's note: he basically doesn't answer this question lol] Player: [Option 2] I still feel like myself. My memories, my feelings - all intact. Withers: No matter how many aeons I have roamed this world and beyond, I am ever-surprised by mysteries new and old.

Even Withers is surprised that the soul you have is something he not only recognizes as a soul, but as your soul. I love how amused and intrigued he sounds when he says "I cannot account for it. How delightful." He even smiles when he says it. He thinks you're super neat! And also a new phenomenon.

(As an aside, I wonder if you being mind-flayer-shaped but still recognizable as you is a hint that your soul did indeed transform to be illithid, but didn't fully transform into a non-apostolic soul like normal illithids would. Like, I wonder if your soul is now half-apostolic and just permanently mind-flayer-shaped. RIP. But this would explain why bringing you back via True Resurrection is kind of a nonviable option since you'd just come back as a mind flayer, and this is the ending where you took your own life to avoid being a mind flayer for forever, so I doubt you'd even want to come back if you couldn't come back to your original body. Things to ponder!)

Anyway, you having something that has glimpses, sparks, or hints of the divine/the spirit about you does tell us that as a mind flayer, your soul wasn't destroyed. It may have been transformed, but you're not as soulless as you thought you were going to be, and you're actually still pretty close to being who you were before the transformation.

Close, but not perfectly or exactly like you were before. You did transform, after all. But these changes become more obvious in other examples, such as with Karlach.

You having a partly-apostolic soul that retains all its memories and most of its original personality is obviously VERY unique and different to what most mind flayers experience. For example, if you turn yourself illithid and then free Orpheus (again, see the same steps above, but go a step farther and actually free him this time), then Orpheus will be utterly shocked that you're capable of independent thought.

Orpheus: What is this... A mind flayer in possession of its mental faculties? This is the stuff of fables. It is as if I am reliving the legend of Oryndoll. You are the illithid Urengol, rebelling against your own hivemind. And I am the noble githyanki Valraag who must now reconsider his position. An illithid capable of rebelling against the Netherbrain's instruction... Not only capable but willing... If your intentions are as righteous as they seem, this is an advantage I cannot overlook. An advantage that must be grasped, for our enemy is formidable indeed. Very well. I propose an alliance.

A couple of notes here: Oryndoll is/was a real mind flayer colony far, far below the surface in the southern regions of Faerûn (beneath the Shining Plains). Not only is it ancient, but the wealth of knowledge stored inside via illithid technology rivals and probably even surpasses that of Candlekeep's library. There's at least one book in the game that talks about a foolish drow adventurer searching for Oryndoll, only to end up a mind flayer, while another hints at Oryndoll's role in the history of the Duergar race. But these are the only mentions of Oryndoll in the game.

Oryndoll has a history in D&D lore, but there's no mention of Urengol and Valraag (that I could find). If this is a fable Orpheus knows, it's apparently so ancient that only he remembers it. But that itself is interesting, because it makes Urengol his closest reference to you having become a rogue, independently-thinking, and emotionally driven mind flayer. He can't think of any other examples, that's how unique you are.

The most important thing here is that Orpheus literally considers your independently thinking self as so baffling, so impossible, it should only exist in fables. That, I think, says a lot.

The next question is, does he think he would become just as unique?

The Case of Orpheus

We all know Orpheus can be convinced to turn into a mind flayer and sacrifice his soul for his people. I'm sure he genuinely does think he is sacrificing his soul, as there is no real precedent that he or anyone else seems to know of for a person who turns into a mind flayer and keeps their soul (or at least keeps their same memories, personality, and intelligence). But if he's surprised that he's kept all his memories after turning illithid, he doesn't really show it.

You can ask him about it, of course, after he's turned into a mind flayer and after you've defeated the Netherbrain. His response is kind of interesting.

Player: You're a mind flayer, but you're still you, aren't you? Orpheus: Yes. But for how long? My mind screams. It will never stop until it has slipped away from me entirely.

No one else seems to define their illithid experience this way. I'm curious if his mind screaming is referring to the hunger he feels, the same hunger he is actively trying to resist, but he doesn't elaborate on this. Regardless, he's certain that while he has retained his personality (and probably his soul) for now, it's not going to last.

This is why he asks for an honorable death after the defeat of the Netherbrain.

Player: You don't deserve to die. Orpheus: I will not be ghaik! I did what I did to save my people. [...] The rest is up to them. Someone else must rise within the ranks to lead the revolution against Vlaakith. Give me my freedom from this form, release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

Orpheus believes that he only has a temporary grasp on his soul or consciousness, which may or may not have transformed into a different kind of soul. Then again, if he thinks his soul is going to the Astral Seas, maybe it doesn't matter whether his soul was transformed from apostolic to non-apostolic. I'm not even sure if githyanki have apostolic souls at all, since they wouldn't really be interested in the deities that govern matters on the Material Plane. I mean, for a long time Lae'zel wants her soul to be eaten by Vlaakith (a literal lich queen who eats souls) via "ascension" so...

I also have no idea if his soul, once released to the Astral Seas, would be mind-flayer-shaped. I guess that's the great mystery. I would assume yes, but I also don’t know how souls manifest in the Astral Seas and finding sources on this has been difficult (it all boils down to “ask your DM”).

Orpheus can be convinced to stay alive and just hang out in a far-off "corner of these realms" to watch his people fight against Vlaakith from afar, and there's kind of a hint that him agreeing to do this means he isn't actually afraid he'll lose his entire soul. But at this point, we're getting too far into "maybes" and "what ifs" to suggest anything concrete.

Quick picture break of Orpheus contemplating the Supreme Tadpole to break up the text (I just thought it was a good shot)

Now I do have to acknowledge two things about Orpheus: one, he could be a special mind flayer precisely because of his unique abilities to shield his mind from elder brain compulsion, which means his unique abilities could also be the reason why he retains so much of his personality and therefore his soul. Since most of the time you end up eating his brain and absorbing his abilities, this could also explain why you retain so much of your own soul if you become a mind flayer instead.

In this scenario, you’re a special mind flayer because (1) you have a Netherese tadpole, (2) you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole, and (3) then you ate Orpheus’s brain. All three elements could be at play.

But not everyone eats Orpheus’s brain, so that theory has holes. I genuinely think you just end up being a special mind flayer because of the Netherese magic that messes with your tadpole. The Supreme Tadpole plus Orpheus’s abilities would only be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

The second thing I want to acknowledge is that there’s a glaring plothole for Orpheus even turning into a mind flayer at all, if you play the game a certain way. If you send the Emperor away to free Orpheus before the Emperor gives you the Supreme Tadpole (for example if you send Lae’zel over to smash the chains holding Orpheus captive without talking to the Emperor, which is what I did one time, and the Emperor was literally like “don’t talk to me again bye” and left), then how does he turn into a mind flayer? He doesn’t have a tadpole and you don’t have the Supreme Tadpole to give to him.

He gets around this with you or Karlach by saying he’ll lower his mental shields so that your tadpole hears the Netherbrain’s orders to transform and then replace the shields again.

Orpheus: My defences keep the voice of the Absolute out, but just as I can raise them, so I can lower them. I will allow the voice of the Absolute in. Once it reaches you, it will order you to transform. It will only take a moment. And once you are a mind flayer, I will fold you under my protection once more. You will be the saviour of empires, not least my own. Narrator: *With the withdrawal of Orpheus' power, your mind is rushed with the full force of the Netherbrain. You feel a compulsion unlike anything you've ever known - excruciating and exhilarating in equal measure. You wish nothing in the world but to evolve. Then - complete silence, as you are once again closed off from the Netherbrain's mind.*

So that makes sense, and it means you being a special mind flayer could boil down to your personality being hella strong + you being infected with a special Netherese tadpole. In this scenario, the Supreme Tadpole can’t be used to explain your unique soul-keeping abilities, and neither can you attribute your soul-keeping abilities to consuming Orpheus's brain (since he's still alive). So maybe the Supreme Tadpole and/or Orpheus's brain doesn’t have any effect on why you keep your mostly-unaltered soul.

In the end I guess it’s just the weird Netherese tadpole that does the trick? Honestly, I wonder if it all boils down to the fact that the Netherese tadpole doesn't eat your brain, it just lies dormant and incubating in your head, so you're not losing brain matter. (But this ignores or forgets that when you eat other tadpoles you literally watch them burrow into your brain matter so I'm sure the magic has something to do with it too.)

But anyway this still doesn’t explain why Orpheus, who shouldn’t have a tadpole, somehow turns into a mind flayer by, I don’t know, manifesting it??? Or why he is also a unique mind flayer once he does this without the Supreme Tadpole. I mean in his case I’m sure it is because he has special mind shield abilities but still. How did he turn into a mind flayer without a tadpole? Make it make sense, Larian.

He literally just touches his head with a psionic magic effect, which is the same gesture he uses to lower his mental shield to allow the Netherbrain to force you to transform. It's also interesting that if you have him transform using the Supreme Tadpole, then he doesn't say anything as he accepts the tadpole from you and absorbs it. But if you have him change without the tadpole, then he says, "The Netherbrain will be only too pleased to claim me."

Which...kind of implies that he's somehow able to communicate with the Netherbrain or hear its voice, so...maybe he secretly does have a tadpole? I mean, a popular theory is the Emperor probably did tadpole Orpheus off-screen since he seems to have a level of compulsion over Orpheus, but this is never explained or mentioned in the game so do whatever you want with that theory.

But I digress.

Let's do a quick summary, shall we?

TLDR: You're probably a super special mind flayer who gets to keep their soul mostly intact (or mostly unaltered) because your tadpole was imbued with Netherese magic and generally doesn't eat your brain. You might also be super special because you transformed using the Supreme Tadpole (optional) and/or consumed Orpheus's brain (also optional). Orpheus might be a super special mind flayer simply because he's Orpheus, and that is why he can still retain most of his soul/personality, even though he keeps thinking he's going to lose it. His status as special mind flayer seems unchanged whether he transformed using the Supreme Tadpole or not, so it really must be an Orpheus Thing.

Phew. That was a lot. And honestly, Karlach and Gale only complicate things, so they're going in a separate post. Keep an eye out for Part 3!

~*~*~

You made it to the end!!! Amazing, you deserve an achievement or something, but all I have are more gold stars.

✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨⭐️🌟⭐️✨

Tags for those who wanted the update! @galesdevoteewife @stuffforthestash

[galebrainrot2024]

I’m about to learn what the overlap is for Astrology and BG3 - I give to you my takes on the companions Big 3 (Sun, Moon, Rising)! Disclaimer: I did this on vibes alone

A quick break down for those unfamiliar: sun is ego, moon is emotional world both how we process and express emotion, rising is our house of self, how others perceive us., who we fundamentally come across as

Karlach: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sag rising. Starting off strong and easy, girlie is a Sag rising without question, she loves spontaneity, good humor, trying new things, wants to explore and see the world and take it all in. Taurus sun, I think she’s a fairly grounded character and it takes a lot to make her angry - what she is angry about though are long standing grudges where people have done her quite dirty. Provoke the Bull, get the horns. Leo moon: she wants to illuminate and shine her optimism and love onto others. Has great hair, strong sense of humor, bold, a flair for the dramatic.

Gale: Pisces sun, Libra moon, Taurus rising. I had a surprisingly hard time with him. I think he’s a March Pisces specifically. He is a little delulu and has a huge imagination as well as capacity for empathy, humanitarianism. Romantic. Plus, baby cow eyes. Big water sign energy there. Taurus Rising: our boy is quite stubborn and enjoys a bit of lavishness from time to time. Conjures a bed instead of sex on the grass. The five senses matter a great deal to him - Taurus is ruled by Venus after all and is a very sensual sign. Great cook. The moon I struggled with and ultimately think he’s a Libra moon. He craves intellectual stimulation, strong people pleasing tendencies and also values relationships and partnerships. Very romantic. Libra moons thrive and seek out partnerships and as it’s an air sign, is also very intellectually driven and aroused by intelligence/harmony/beauty in all forms (arts, food, people)

Astarion: Cancer sun, Scorpio moon, Capricorn rising. No further questions your honor. In all seriousness, nothing screams moody, sarcastic vampire like Scorpio and cancer. Capricorn because of the restriction imposed upon him. All of these placements are really sweet to their people, everyone else.. well.. just keep your distance, darling

Shadowheart: Gemini Sun, Capricorn Moon, Scorpio rising. Girl is secretive and emo as heck, and emotionally cold and distant (AT FIRST!) Capricorn moons hold their cards close to their chest as do all Scorpio placements. Gemini for her fluctuating nature, enjoys talking, is a chameleon in many respects. Needs intellectual stimulation and likes the back and forth, can be a playful person

Lae’zel: Aries sun, Aqua Moon, Aries rising. As far as I’m concerned, she is the pinnical of Aries: head-strong, straightforward (sometimes at the expense of others), courageous, short tempered and outwardly aggressive as opposed to Scorpio or cap aggression which is more subtle. Lae’zel says what she means and means what she says. Impulsive. Can rub people the wrong way and is ultimately a lovey, soft hearted character once you get passed the sandpaper attitude. Aqua moon because they are humanitarian and look at the bigger picture, less squishy about their emotions yet have strong feelings. Tendency to Intellectualize emotions.

Wyll: Libra rising, Pisces moon, Sag sun. Sag because Wyll has a strong sense of duty and purpose, yet it’s coupled with a strong sense of freedom and zest for life. Expansive. Libra rising because he’s a good conversationalist, enjoys the arts and finer things, wants harmony and Justice, tries his best to avoid strong conflicts when he can. Pisces moon because I think our boy is so sweet and soft internally, and thinks and feels deeply about everything. Can feel misunderstood.

Bonus: (descriptions to come later if desired!)

Halsin: Gemini sun, Taurus Moon, Cancer rising

Minthara: Aqua Sun, Virgo Moon, Capricorn rising

Minsc: Leo sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising

Jaheira: Capricorn sun, Cancer moon, Leo rising

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Hello! I just started BG3 a couple weeks ago and Astarion has a vice grip on me!

I was wondering how you think he’d react (both ascended and not), if he found Tav crying because she is upset about losing a loved one, or stress, or something like that? I know that he enjoys the suffering of others, but then he becomes a good boy after he opens up and I feel like it would break his heart to see his beloved Tav crying.

I’m goin through some stuff right now and I just want a forehead kiss from our lovely pale elf! Thank you homie!!

I hope things get better for you! Hope this helps <3

It comes with the territory of being of fey ancestry, to live longer than most of the people around you. Astarion had not had the chance to experience that for when he was turned, he wasn't even into hundreds. A mere thirty-five years old of life, a child to most elves. Such a small amount of years compared to how long he was a puppet for Cazador.

Friends, family, any other person he knew: all long gone. Even the city, Baldur's Gate, has changed when he has the opportunity to walk around during the day, to experience all the colors he has been deprived of for so long.

Some days he wished he hadn't taken Cazador's offer, to instead die free.

Grief is part of life, and death is one of the many causes.

As he stands beside you over this gravestone.

Ten years, a vampire for ten years. It doesn't seem like a lot to most but is a lot for you especially when within those ten years you were isolated from the world completely.

While time seemed to still in your cage, life moved on outside.

People… Die… Mortality goes on.

You didn't cry at the funeral. You dared not join the gathering that lowered the casket, you dared not reach out to comfort the small group of people you know. There is a numbness, a strange feeling as if none of this is real.

"Let's go." Astarion follows behind you as you turn away, turn away from your past. The past of the mortal who dreamt of singing in palaces and fine clothing, the mortal who wanted to make their parents proud.

You didn't make it back to camp. The tears wouldn't stop, your body trembling. Astarion holds you close, soothing you as best as he can, he understands… He would be the only one who understands.

He cradles you in his arms, no words spoken as right now the silence is needed; if you could bury yourself within him you would.

"Astarion," Whispered as you peeked up at him from your head resting on his chest. "Thank you."

He knows there is probably someone better at this than him, but he still is processing his feelings after gaining his freedom from Cazador. Yet, he wouldn't want any of the others to see you in this state.

This state of vulnerability… You are always the light of camp, seemingly indestructible. Even if they all know you are not, he still doesn't want to share your tears with them. Oddly selfish about this but it is true, only he wants you to be like this with him.

Astarion says something, you crack a smile as he kisses your tears away. He can distract you in other ways if you need to.

"This is… I like this." Privacy, away from the others who would naturally want to make sure you are okay, right now you only want Astarion. You want him in both his presence and the current way he holds you close.

The pain doesn't fade. It never truly will but it becomes manageable, a burden that weighs but not enough to cripple you. You accept it, you will cry when it hurts, but most of all you live on as do their memories.

[mistystepmoonbeam]

Reborn into BG3: Chapter 11

You're reborn into BG3 with only the memory of your past life. Now you're Tav's companion on his journey, and must learn about yourself as much as your new reality.

Chapter 11: It's time to visit Auntie Ethel and thank her for helping you out with your hand. It's only polite. Hangovers, redcaps and monster hunters won't stop Tav from thanking a kind old lady!

Word count: 4.1K

A/N: The word count really got away from me on this one.

The next morning you can’t remember too many specifics about the night.  You have the blurry picture of Karlach laughing, sitting by the water with Wyll, and someone laying in a pool of blood.  You shiver at the incomplete memory.

Despite your hangover you’re chosen to go out with Tav, Astarion, and Wyll to go visit Auntie Ethel.  No amount of protests are able to keep you at camp, because Tav assured you there was no fighting and you were just going to thank a kind old lady for her help!  It’s only polite!

Halsin still had things to clear up at the grove so rather than wait around for him you were volun-told to make the trip.  And since you couldn’t say what Auntie Ethel truly is, nor warn them about the Gur bounty hunter…you went along.

As you walk down the hill beside the blighted village you’re expecting to see the hag on the road with Mayrina’s brothers.  But they’re not there, and neither is the basket of poison apples.

The illusion of a beautiful sunny land isn’t there, either.  Instead you find yourselves in the swamp, the smell of stagnant water and algae strong, as well as blood.  It would be easy to miss, you’re not sure how you can tell the scents apart yourself, but it’s there.

“Not quite what I pictured when she said to visit her teahouse,” Wyll says.  He’s looking at the dilapidated bridge and debris spread around. 

“Seems like a good point to turn around,” Astarion suggests.  “I’d prefer not to get my boots wet.”

“It’s just water.”  Tav starts moving through the deeper water that flows through the swamp before the  broken bridge that leads to the island.   Begrudgingly, the vampire follows.  

Wyll steps into the water and offers you his hand to help you across.  You take it gingerly and step forward, only to be met with solid resistance from what should be liquid.  You both look down, your foot atop the water.

You put more weight on it, adding your other leg and letting go of Wyll’s hand.  “I guess Gale was right about the enchanted boots.”

Walking on water seems excessive for someone from a city like Baldur’s Gate.  But after a couple more careful steps and a few jumps you laughed.   For a brief moment your worries and hangover are gone as you hop around on top of the little creek, fascinated by the murky gap between you and the earth.  You spin in a circle then quickly steady yourself, dizzy, but also because you notice the three men you’re travelling with are grinning at you.

You clear your throat and cross your arms, heading to dry land.   “Sorry, that’s just…cool.”

There’s a certain sparkle in Tav’s eyes that tells you he desperately wants to do the same.   You tell him, “I’ve seen your feet, they won’t fit.”

His sparkle fades at the same time his tail dips towards the ground.

“Braaaaagh.”

The sound makes you flinch.  On the little island are the redcaps, apparently still thinking they’re disguised as sheep.  Two are atop the rocky hill in the middle, while a third wanders near the water.  It makes another strange sound that’s supposed to be a “baaaaah”.

Tav approaches it, squats down, and with complete seriousness lets out a loud, “Baaaaah!”

Wyll hides a snicker behind one hand and that’s when you finally notice it.  He has horns and a red eye.

“You have horns!” you shout thoughtlessly.

“Well, you were properly thrashed last night, weren’t you?” Astarion questions.  “And even this morning?  Or are you just blind?”

“I, uh, sorry Wyll…”  You’re about to ask when Mizora showed up but think better of it.  “What…”

“I wondered why you didn’t ask last night,” Wyll says.  There’s a hint of a laugh in his voice, but the sadness over his change is still there.  “I was tasked with killing Karlach, and since I haven’t, I’ve paid the price.  My patron Mizora…”

You’re given a quick rundown of Mizora visiting him when he was with Lae’zel and Shadowheart.  

At the end of his story you ask, “So last night you had…”

You gesture at his face, and maybe the innocence of the question is what makes him smile.  “I’m afraid so.”

“I am so sorry,” you repeat.  At least you had an excuse for not noticing last night, but you were so used to seeing him in game you didn’t give it a second thought this morning.

“It’s not your fault.  It was my decision.”

“No, I mean—well I’m sorry for that, too—but I’m sorry I didn’t notice.  I’m so selfish, I was moping over nothing while you were—are—in pain.”  You bite down on your thumb nail and try to remember talking to him by the water but it’s so blurry now.  Not only were you moping over imaginary problems, he went out of his way to make you feel better when he had very real, life altering things to deal with.

“I appreciate that,” Wyll tells you. 

“But—“

Wyll holds up a hand.  “I have seen enough to know that you truly didn’t notice.  Not because you were too selfish but because you…”

“Because I…?” you ask. 

Wyll shifts uncomfortably.  

“Because you’re naive,” Astarion says.  “And I say this with love, darling, a little—oblivious.”

“Astarion,” Wyll warns.

“I didn’t say dim this time.”

“Astarion!”

“I am not stupid!” you shout.  The redcap startles, hollow eyes on you. “I just don’t…I don’t know things about…things.”

You frown.  They’re talking about you when you’re not around?  You hadn’t considered that.  Of course they did—they talked about each other, too, so why not you?

“To clarify,” Tav adds, “only Astarion called your dim.”

“You did jump in front of a loaded crossbow for a goblin.”  Astarion arches a brow at you, probably thinking how you had called yourself stupid at the time.

Your frown turns to a pout.  You grumble something about moving on from the subject in hopes of never having to discuss it again.  You begin to walk around the redcap with a wide gap, eyeing it warily.

“Now you’re afraid of sheep?” Astarion asks.

“No,” you reply.  You look at the vampire quizzically.  “But that’s clearly not a sheep.”

The men exchange confused glances.  You’re very tired of getting those looks.  

“It’s a redcap?” you say to them.  “Isn’t it?  I’m pretty sure that’s what they’re called.”

Wyll studies the redcap—or sheep as he sees it—as it moves towards you.  It lets out an awkward sound between a growl and a bray, but when you don’t reply it’s sneer deepens.  There’s a shift in the air, a static shock that stretches around the area in what you can only guess is magic.

“Ohhhh, a redcap,” Tav says.  He takes two steps forward, pulls his right leg back then thrusts it forward to kick at the creature.  His boot connects with its middle and despite the weight of the redcap it soars through the air.  

It goes so far you only hear a distant splash of water.  Astarion claps at the distance.

The other redcaps are not quite as entertained by Tav’s actions.  They screech from the hilltop, one jumping down while the other moves its hands in the air.  Roots tangle around yours and Tav’s legs, locking you in place.  The one now on your level charges towards you only to be sent flying by a red bolt from Wyll—eldritch blast.

Astarion lazily throws his dagger at the one on the hill and when the blade lands in its eye socket the vines around you shrivel and die.  You step out, shaking each leg of any remaining debris.

“So you saw through the illusion,” Wyll states. 

You survey the area, that static ring gone.  All you can offer is a shrug—you passed the perception check you guess.  But you can’t tell them that.

Tav loots the bodies of a small amount of gold and alchemical ingredients while Astarion retrieves his dagger.  Wyll offers theories as to how you were able to see the redcaps, but it all comes back to the enchantment on your clothes.  Whatever protection they gave you from harm could be linked to the fact you haven’t had to clean them yet—they still appear pristine despite the blood and dirt you’ve lain in.  In fact, you haven’t felt the need to even wash the sweat from your skin.  Powerful enchantments indeed.

Tav leads the group forward to Auntie Ethel’s house, all of them a little more suspicious of the old woman now that the swamp is no longer disguised.  After the elation of walking on water you’d forgotten about the Gur waiting around the corner.  As you approach the bottom of the hill he’s waiting on, you grab Astarion’s sleeve between your index finger and thumb.  “Maybe we should wait here.”

“What’s wrong?” Wyll asks.  You don’t let go of Astarion’s sleeve even when he tries to pull away.  You wet your lips, eyes darting between the vampire and the direction of the Gur.  Just a few more steps and he’d be able to see you; he can probably already hear you.  

You tug on the sleeve again.  “Ast—you should stay here.”

He finally yanks out of your grip and smooths the sleeve where you’d been holding.  “And why should I do that?”

Because there’s a hunter around the corner looking for you and he might actually recognize you.  Because things are slightly different than in the video game I remember in my past life where you’re a character and not a person. 

Because I don’t want you to have to remember how you died and that you can’t escape Cazador, not yet anyway.

You can’t find a reasonable answer.  

Astarion huffs out a sigh.  “Is this one of your weird feelings Karlach was going on about?  Am I about to die if I take another step?”

You flinch back.  “What?  No, I just…what are you talking about?”

“You seem to know when death is coming,” Astarion explains.  “The goblin, then Arka—who confessed her suicidal plan in a drunken stupor last night by the way, to her friend right outside my tent.  Ugh, I had to send them away just so I could get some sleep.”

You look at Tav and Wyll, the vague image of Arka laying in a pool of blood coming to mind.  

Astarion adds, “You sniff out death like a bloodhound.”

“I just have a bad feeling,” you finally mumble.  

“It’s okay,” Tav says.  “If anything tries to hurt Astarion I’ll take care of it.”

You smile as he gives you a thumbs up, wishing you could believe him invincible.  

“Let’s go see if we get to kill something, now,” Astarion says excitedly.

“Perhaps some precaution is in order,” Wyll suggests.  “Tav and I will take a look first and signal if it’s safe.  Agreed?”

Astarion rolls his eyes but nods.  “Don’t have all the fun without me.”

Tav and Wyll move ahead and around the corner.  You hear their voices as they speak with the Gur, but can’t make out the words.  Then, Tav’s head appears around a rock and he waves you over.  He’s smiling at least, which probably means he wasn’t told anything about what the man is hunting.

You keep yourself a step ahead of Astarion as you follow Tav.  Once at the top of the hill the Gur hunter nods to you as greeting.

“He’s a monster hunter,” Wyll says to you.  Like that is going to somehow comfort you, even if you didn’t know what you know.  

Astarion questions what terrible creature he’s hunting and the scene is triggered.  You gulp as the Gur says he’s hunting a vampire spawn named Astarion, and you can’t help but notice the look Wyll sends you.  It’s a mix of apologetic, confusion, and concern.  Concern for you or Astarion, you aren’t sure.

The hunter mentions he needs Astarion alive. 

“Well here he is,” Tav says, waving a hand at the vampire beside you.  “This is Astarion.”

“What?”  You and Astarion shout the word at the same time, gawking at Tav.  You step to the left and in front of Astarion.

“What are you doing?” you question.  

“Yes,” Astarion agrees, “what in the hells do you think you’re doing?”

“It can’t be…?” the Gur says.

“But he is looking for you,” Tav says innocently.  “And he wants you alive.”

“That doesn’t make it better!” you shout.  You grip your staff with both hands, ready to hit someone—and that someone might be Tav.  

Your fury at the tiefling in that moment almost overshadows the phantom limb as it reaches out into the swamp behind you.  Almost.  Something…twitches.  It’s not you, nor that strange feeling in your head, but something moves.  You can feel it, slow at first but getting faster as feet drag through mud.  You feel grimy water on your skin, the need to follow orders—your orders.  It’s not you feeling this, someone else is, not unlike the connection the tadpole gave you.  

The Gur pulls his crossbow from his back and tries to aim at you, or Astarion behind you, but he isn’t given the chance when something launches over your head and onto him.  He screams as the creature bites his jugular, blood squirting—squirting!!—from the wound.  You shout and jump back only to collide with Astarion.  He sets his hands on your arms to balance you, and then pushes you out of the way as he watches the Gur get killed by—

“Didn’t we kill those little things?” Astarion asks, pointing at the redcap that tears into the hunter's body.  It’s moved on from his neck, now clawing at his stomach.  You watch on, eyes wide and unblinking, breath held in your chest.  Another redcap, this one missing an eye, hobbles past you and joins his companion. 

“We did,” Wyll confirms. 

You’re holding your staff in front of you, still ready to whack someone until the Gur stops struggling.  You let out the breath you were holding.  When you finally blink you see that the eyes on your staff are glowing a lovely violet.

The redcaps grunt, facing you now that their task is complete.  Your eyes dart between the staff and them, and back again.  “Please tell me I didn’t do that.”

“I think you may have,” Wyll says.  “And it seems you may be a necromancer of some sort; you didn’t even need to utter a word to bring the redcaps here and do your bidding.”

“That,” you say, pointing to the corpse, “is not my bidding.”

But you can’t deny that you feel a string of connection to the redcaps now—puppet strings.  Your strings, using them like marionettes. And you can’t deny the way the redcaps watch you like they’re waiting for your next command.  You want to drop the staff, but your body won’t listen.  Because it has to be the staff, right?  It’s cursed or enchanted to let you raise the dead!  Finally you let go of the wood and let it fall to the ground with a clatter.

But the redcaps stare on. 

“It’s okay.”  Wyll tries to comfort you but you’re having none of it.

“No, it’s not okay!” you yell.  You point at the body again.  “I just killed that guy!”

“And for Astarion, no less,” Tav chimes in.  His voice brings you back, somewhat grounding you from your hysteria.

“And you!”  You point to the tiefling.  He flinches back at your fury, having the gall to look innocent with his wide eyes and tail tucked.  “Why did you tell him about Astarion?”

Tav doesn’t get to answer when one of the redcaps launches itself at him.  He’s quicker to react than the Gur and grabs it before it can claw or bite out his throat, and uses the momentum to swing around and throw it about as far as he kicked the first one. 

You picture a string between you and the redcaps, and then a pair of scissors snipping them away.  There’s a moment of hesitation in the remaining redcap, but it soon falls over.  Dead, again.

You sniffle, holding back the burning tears that begin to line your lower lashes.  “He was going to hurt Astarion.”

Maybe Tav had a plan and that was why he told the truth.  Or maybe he just can’t help but be honest, thinking he could bargain with the Gur into leaving Astarion alone.  But you can’t wrap your head around it.  And rather than focusing on the glowing eyes of the staff, that have now faded, the fact you just killed a man with two undead redcaps, you focus on your anger at Tav.  It’s so much easier to be angry than sad.

You step towards him, pull back your foot, and kick him in the shins with all your might.  He has leather boots on, and he’s a barbarian, so he probably doesn’t feel it much, but you kick him again. 

He hops away on one foot, grabbing at his minor injury.  “I’m sorry!”

“He was gonna take Astarion!” you shout. You step towards him only to feel two hands on your shoulders, keeping you in place.  

“Perhaps this argument can wait,” Wyll says.  He doesn’t let you go when he looks at Astarion.  “Why did he want to capture you, not kill you?  He said it was a sacred duty from his people—that’s no small task to be given.”

You shrug Wyll off and cross your arms, facing away from Tav.  Tears slip down your cheeks  as you regain control of your breathing.  You rub at your face with one sleeve.

“How should I know?” Astarion asks.  He’s putting on a front, you think.  “He was most likely sent by my old master, Cazador, to bring me back to Baldur’s Gate.”

They discuss the possibilities—why a Gur was sent, what Cazador would want with him rather than just kill him.  You keep your arms crossed, determined to hang onto the anger as fear creeps along the edge of your senses.

“Weren’t we here to thank a little old lady or something?” Astarion questions, hurriedly changing the subject.  “Perhaps we should move on, before any more hunters show up?”

You are more than happy to get away from the corpse, but the closer you get to Ethel’s the more your anger ebbs away and is replaced by fear.  There are so many things that contribute to that fear, so you hold onto the fury as tightly as possible and refuse to even look Tav in the eye, despite his many attempts at getting your attention.  He flits around you, begging you to say anything to him, sic another redcap on him even, but you’ve quickly come to realize that the silent treatment is the best punishment.

That anger takes you all the way to Ethel’s door, where Wyll knocks before entering.

Though the tea house is a little decrepit and sitting in the middle of a swamp, it doesn’t smell like it.  There’s a scent of a spicy tea in the air, and when you enter you find Ethel sitting where Mayrina is in game, sipping on a cup. 

“Petal!” she says, a smile crossing her features when she sees who’s visiting.  “I was worried you might not find the place.”

Ethel stands and approaches the bottom of the stairs, waving the group farther inside.  “Come in, come, would you like some tea?”

You do your best to hide the fear that creeps along your spine.  In the game Ethel could be a difficult battle, but that was only triggered based on the actions against Mayrina and her brothers.  With none of them there you couldn’t predict how things would go. 

From the corner of your eye you can see Astarion watching you.  He doesn’t stray too far from the group, but he’s never more than a foot away from you.  Maybe killing his hunter endeared him to you?  You should have gotten a few Astarion Approves from letting him drink your blood alone.

While your eyes had wandered around the tea house Ethel and Tav had begun their conversation.  He was also only a foot in front of you, and when you came back into the conversation Ethel was offering her deal. 

“That sounds like a poor deal,” Tav says.  He thrusts his thumb over his shoulder towards you.  “Apparently they can fall out after getting hit in the head hard enough.”

“I don’t think that’s what happened,” Wyll says.  He steps a little closer to you.  You’re starting to feel claustrophobic with all of them keeping so close to you so you take a step back.  

Ethel eyes the men and then you.  There’s recognition in her features but it doesn’t feel quite the same as when Raphael had stared you down.  “Your god must really love you to get rid of that little wriggler.”

You perk up, maybe too much and give away your eagerness.  “My god?”

Wyll casts a warning glance in your direction.  Don’t act desperate, it reads.  You wet your lips.  “How do you know it was my god and it didn’t just die?”

Ethel laughs.  “Let’s just say you’ve got a glow about you.  You all do.  You Chosen.”

The air freezes.  Everything slows…slows…stops.

Necromancer.  

Chosen.  

Control over the dead.  

Necromancer-Chosen-dead three-Myrkul-

You whirl on your heel, fall to your knees, and throw up the fruit that had been forced on you earlier.  You manage to get it into a nearby basket, but the purge doesn’t stop your stomach from turning.  Those words—chosen, dead three, necromancer—keep swirling in your mind.  You hiccup and release more into the basket.  

You tremble.  You’d never thrown up from fear before.  Motion sickness, sure, flue, totally.  But fear?  The shaking doesn’t stop, nor does the urge to keep vomiting.  All you can do is sit there on your knees, breathing heavily as the small dot that is your vision spins round and round and round.

Your head starts shaking.  “No, I’m not—I’m nothing.  Nobody!  I don’t matter.  I’m—”

You can’t be anyone connected to the main plot.  No.  You can’t be one of the dead three or a chosen, because you did have a worm in your brain for a while, and you were on the ship and—and—

“Take a breath,” Wyll says.  He kneels beside you, hands out and ready to wrap around you but only hovering above your jacket.

“I’m not…”

“Just take a breath,” he repeats.  “We don’t know anything for sure.”

He seems so sure, you think.  So solid, just like last night at the party.  How he can be so certain of anything right now is beyond you, and you know what’s coming.

You do as he instructs, your next few breaths are shaky but calming.  You wipe at your mouth with your sleeve, watching as the spittle soaks into the fabric then disappears completely.  “I need to—go somewhere.  Not be…here.”

You stand quickly, ignoring Tav as he calls to you.  You’re on the front porch when you feel something wrap around your ankle and nearly topple you forward.  You come to a stop and turn.  Tav’s tail is wrapped around your ankle and even when you stop it doesn’t loosen. 

“Please, wait.”  

You try to take a step forward but his grip is too strong.  “I need to go.”

“I’ll go with you.”  His tail tightens, desperate to keep you there. It pulls, trying to bring you closer to him even though it’s barely two feet between you.

“I want to be alone.”

“I’ll…I’ll be quiet.”  Gods, he’s giving you that look that makes it feel like you just kicked a puppy.  As much as you try to stay mad it’s fading into nothing but anxiety and fear, and a desperate desire to let him comfort you.  But you need to think, somewhere without distractions and far away from a literal hag.  Even if she hasn’t shown her true form.

“Tav,” you begin, pleading just as he is.  You look at him.  Really look at him.  You take in the black scleras that surround the dark blue of his eyes, the beginnings of wrinkles around his mouth from where he’s always smiling, the slight indent of crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes.   His white-gray hair shifts with the breeze, but his horns stop anything from getting into his eyes.  You wish it would cover his eyes–they’re far too teary for the light-hearted man.

Wyll sets a hand on Tav’s shoulder.  “Let go, Tav.  It’ll be fine.”

The tieflings lips press together, his tail unmoving.

“Tav.”  Wyll isn’t making a suggestion.  With one last desperate look at you Tav finally releases his hold on your ankle.  

You take the steps down into the dirt.  “I’m just going back to camp.  I’ll…see you there.”

Tav opens his mouth then thinks better of it.  Whatever he was going to ask goes unspoken.  Most likely another plea to get you to stay, or to allow him to follow.  

You turn and start walking through the swamp. 

Taglist:

@half-poison-and-half-hope @sanscas @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @thequeen-oni @terrenuserinj @straewberrysoda @theomnipotentfox @becksynthetic @quitecontrary-to-mary @furblrwurblr @mega-trash-cringe @fandomsbookclub @dontneedbiologytoadopt @pebble-bb @v3lv3tvampir3 @mrow-kat @jeneralmischief @notsaelty @runaway-17 @aoirohi @tinswhimsy @xxgrimripp3rxx @kemonocat-blog @thetiredtoad0-0 @sleepydang @iwannabealocalcryptid

[imagineitdearies]

Battle Log for Chapter 37/38 of Perfect Slaughter!

**Warning! Spoilers for ch37 and 38 ahead!**

If you guys haven't noticed yet what a total nerd I am, this will make it abundantly clear. I showed Cazador's monster stats a couple months ago that I homebrewed/crossed from BG3 and our classic D&D vampire, but I hope you didn't think I stopped there. If you like battle logs and getting into the nitty gritty of D&D mechanics, please enjoy this breakdown below the cut!

First, if you want to reach peak nerd about it with me, take a look at all the details for our main three! (*Note: I did mix Astarion and Tyrus's BG3 stats with a vampire spawn's ability scores, considering it's canon that Astarion lost a lot of things like strength and healing ability after being tadpoled)

Monster Stats: Cazador Szarr

Tyrus Aman'del's Character Sheet

Astarion Ancunin's Character Sheet

Or otherwise, as you look over the battle log, just keep in mind a few things:

"Legendary Actions" are special actions available to powerful monsters in 5e combat, such as vampires. Besides his normal actions, Cazador can take three legendary actions between turns, but only at the end of another creature’s turn.

Cazador has "Legendary Resistance" as well, which is simple but quite powerful: when he fails a saving throw, he can choose to succeed instead, three times per long rest.

At the top of each round, Cazador receives 10 temporary HP per ritual source.

Thanks to Magic Circle, all of Cazador's attacks are rolled with disadvantage.

In his diseased condition, Tyrus rolls with disadvantage on attacks and saving throws, and his movement speed is reduced by half.

Pre-Round

Cazador: 270 HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: 35 HP each (four) Skeletons: 27 HP each (thirteen) Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Cazador steps onto trap and speaks the words to trigger it ("Ecce Dominus!") All at once: Glyph of Warding (7th level) - 43 fire damage (succeeded saving throw, only takes 21 damage) Glyph of Warding: Magic Circle Glyph of Warding: Silence Glyph of Warding: Sunbeam - 38 radiant damage *Cazador spends his first legendary resistance to succeed saving throw, only takes 19 damage) Glyph of Warding: Phantasmal Killer (7th level) - 49 psychic damage

Round 1

Cazador: 181 HP +70 temp HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: 35 HP each Skeletons: 27 HP each Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Ritual Circle: 29 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Two unarmed strikes, 5 bludgeoning damage on second hit *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam **Fails save for Phantasmal Killer again so spends his second legendary resistance to succeed it Tyrus: Dash to Astarion *Cazador Legendary Action at the end of his turn, Bite attack for 18 total damage on ghoul Astarion: Paralyzed Ghouls collective hits: 26 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 13) Skeletons: Dash into range of battle *Cazador Legendary Action, Move without opportunity attacks Godey: 13 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6) Chatterteeth: Casts Eyebite: Frightened on Cazador

Round 2

Cazador: 183 HP +70 temp HP Tyrus: 100 HP Astarion: 115 HP Ghouls: three have 35 HP, one has 13 HP  Skeletons: 27 HP each Chatterteeth: 74 HP Godey: 74 HP

Ritual Circle: 30 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray (succeeds saving throw; takes 15) Cazador: Calls three swarms of rats (arrive in 4 rounds) *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Help action to rescue Astarion *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 21 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw 10 piercing damage; Cazador heals 21 HP Astarion: Casts Expeditious Retreat and pulls Tyrus out of radius Ghouls collective hits: 21 slashing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 10) Skeleton collective hits: 44 piercing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 22) Godey: 16 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 8) *Cazador Legendary Action, fails to Bite Godey Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 13 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 3

Cazador: 193 HP +60 temp HP Tyrus: 79 HP Astarion: 105 HP Ghouls: three have 25 HP (one dead) Skeletons: ten have 17 HP, three have 6 HP Chatterteeth: 53 HP Godey: 64 HP

Ritual Circle: 23 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: One failed unarmed attack, one failed bite  *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from the nearest spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Astarion: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 16 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 8 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Ghouls collective hits: 14 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) *Cazador Legendary Action, fails to Bite a ghoul Skeleton collective hits: 34 piercing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 17) Godey: 15 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 21 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 10), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 4

Cazador: 169 HP +40 temp HP Tyrus: 73 HP Astarion: 107 HP Ghouls: four have 17 HP, one has 9 HP (one dead) Skeletons: three have 9 HP, seven have 1 HP (three dead) Chatterteeth: 45 HP Godey: 56 HP

Ritual Circle: 26 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Two unarmed strikes, 5 bludgeoning damage on second hit *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 20 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 10 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 10 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 5 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Ghouls collective hits: 0 slashing damage Skeleton collective hits: (dead) Godey: 15 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 7) Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch (crit!) for 29 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 14), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 5

Cazador: 142 HP +20 temp HP Tyrus: 53 HP Astarion: 92 HP Ghouls: one has 2 HP (three dead) Skeletons: (all dead) Chatterteeth: 25 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 21 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray (succeeds saving throw; takes 10) Cazador: Hits magic circle barrier for 0 damage *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Tyrus: Removes the glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Bonus action takes a healing potion at Astarion’s insistence (13 HP) *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 18 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 9 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Removes the last glyphs from another spawn/ritual source *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Ghouls collective hits: 8 slashing damage (resistant; takes 4) *Cazador Legendary Action, Bites last ghoul for a total 14 damage Godey: Fails to hit Chatterteeth: Fails to hit with Chill Touch

Round 6

Cazador: 128 HP + 10 temp HP Tyrus: 57 HP Astarion: 92 HP Chatterteeth: 25 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 24 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Hits magic circle barrier for 0 damage *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Fail to bite Chatterteeth Rat swarm 2: Fail to bite Astarion Rat swarm 3: Bite Tyrus for 8 piercing damage Tyrus: Casts Message and speaks to Chatterteeth *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 18 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 9 piercing damage; Cazador heals 18 HP Astarion: Kills rat swarm 3 with 31 total damage, bonus action Bite for 7 HP healing *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 6 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 3 piercing damage; Cazador heals 6 HP Godey: 12 slashing damage on Cazador (resistant; takes 6)  Chatterteeth: Casts Chill Touch for 17 necrotic damage on Cazador (resistant, takes 8), Cazador can't regain hit points until the start of her next turn

Round 7

Cazador: 104 HP Rat swarm: two have 24 HP (one dead) Tyrus: 42 HP Astarion: 81 HP Chatterteeth: 1 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 24 radiant damage from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Arcana Check to find Sunbeam rune in the ritual circle *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Fail to bite Chatterteeth Rat swarm 2: Fail to bite Astarion Tyrus: Reanimates all thirteen skeletons with Animate Dead, 7th level *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 14 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 7 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Astarion: Kills rat swarm 2 with 28 total damage *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Skeleton collective hits: 33 piercing damage (resistant; takes 16)*Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 21 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 10 piercing damage; Cazador does not heal Godey: 0 slashing damage Chatterteeth: (dead)

Round 8

Cazador: 44 HP Rat swarm: one has 24 HP (two dead) Tyrus: 14 HP Skeletons: four have 10 HP, two have 3 HP (six dead) Astarion: 74 HP Godey: 36 HP

Ritual Circle: 22 radiant damage on Cazador from Sunbeam ray Cazador: Successfully finds Sunbeam rune in the ritual circle and removes it *Takes 20 radiant damage at start of turn because of Sunbeam Rat swarm 1: Bite Astarion for 3 piercing damage Tyrus: Reanimates six skeletons with Animate Dead, 4th level *Cazador Legendary Action, Vampiric Bat Swarm!! All take either 14 piercing damage or if they succeed the dex saving throw, 7 piercing damage; Cazador heals 14 HP (Three skeletons go down, Tyrus goes unconscious and gets thrown off the edge of the platform) Astarion: Grabs Tyrus's hands before he's too out of reach, lifts him back up from the platform *Regains 10 HP at the start of his turn due to vampiric regeneration Skeleton collective hits: 33 piercing damage on Cazador(resistant; takes 16) *Cazador drops to 0 hit points, which activates Misty Escape to his coffin

Bonus Round

Astarion: Throws Cazador out of coffin Tyrus: Uses class feature "Command Undead" on Cazador(see Tyrus character sheet or necromancy subclass for details) *Cazador fails the saving throw, but spends his last legendary resistance to succeed) --after a bit of angsty dialogue and commands-- Tyrus: Uses class feature "Command Undead" on Astarion *Astarion does not resist/chooses to automatic fail on saving throw Astarion: Slashy slashy dagger dagger!!! (All it took was 1 point of damage, Cazador had not healed yet) Tyrus & Astarion: Hug 🩵🩵🩵