#which is why I’m using weeds from the back yard lmao

[pigeon-feet]

i’m so heavily yearning for spring to be here that at this point i’m taking desperate measures

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] (American) College!AU Demon Brothers

Scenario: Headcanons on the demon brothers as college students (specifically in the US because I don’t know how college works elsewhere), their possible majors, career goals, extracurriculars, ~GPA~ and whatever else I could think of + how meet you in college

Note: I’m hoping to do a Part 2 with the Undateables but honestly… we’ll see lol. This is based off something ~A~ and I thought of for our specific university but we’ve made it broad enough to share HAHA this turned out VERY long

- 

Lucifer

Majoring in Political Sciences with a minor in Psychology

Pre-Law-- most likely immigration law or child custody (there’s definitely a backstory here)

Initially went to community college for the first two years to save up money to take care of his younger siblings

Rejected an offer to go to an Ivy League because it was too expensive; if his siblings ever found out they’d be furious that he’d give up on that chance, but he knows he can succeed wherever he goes (and besides, family is first) 

Transferred into a 4-year university his junior year 

Very high GPA-- VERY

In a professional fraternity with Diavolo and Barbatos 

He didn’t think he’d join one either but Diavolo was the vice chair when he transferred in and the president the year after so… ~nepotism?~ and also Lucifer is charming as heck so no surprise he’d get in

Also rooms with Diavolo and Barbatos

Goes to the gym regularly just to keep fit; gets goaded by Diavolo and Satan into joining an IM team with his frat brothers and actual brothers-- probably basketball or flag football

Probably meets you at a interclub council meeting and mutters under his breath how useless the board members are and you overhear 

“Never have I met more incompetent people.”

“Lmao mood”

“!!!”

Keeps sitting next to you at every interclub meeting then after because at least there’s someone that can keep his mind stimulated (thinks you’re hot if you’re competent btw)

If you somehow meet him on campus, he’s the type of guy to put his hand up and pretend he didn’t see you (just kidding, he always ends up saying hi anyways) 

Will Absolutely Lecture You if you are procrastinating on studying especially if your midterm is, like, TOMORROW

Always ends up studying with him because he’s actually focused on studying and glares at you if you get distracted (but hey you get good scores in the end)

Mammon

Majoring in Business Econ/Economics, Minoring in Statistics

(always ends up in the middle of the “is econ a humanities or a STEM major” debate that leaves him left for dead) 

Planning to work in Business as Finance -- probably has been treasurer or finance director for a club; can even see him being a banker if it suits his plans better

Goes to a four-year university

Decent GPA (or Lucifer would absolutely destroy him), and does REALLY well in mathematics classes

Would room with Lucifer and his posse if they all go to the same school 

Probably in a Business Frat as well because he’s pretty charismatic when it comes down to it but  was an RA for some of his years for the free rooming and dining hall privileges 

Is a very chill and understanding RA (as in he smokes weed with you when he’s off-duty) but is surprisingly well-versed in dealing with roommate issues

Works part-time (gasp) to buy stuff off of Amazon and go out to places 

Spends a lot of time exploring places with his friends, going hiking, rock-climbing, clubbing-- which is expensive, as it turns out, so he needed to be able to afford it somehow

Meets you when you’re eating your lunch outside somewhere and he asks you if you have a dollar he could borrow for a vending machine snack

You exchange numbers with him so he can pay it back (even though you honestly don’t really need it, but why not) and turns out he’s in your GE class

“Heyyy wassup! So glad I have a friend in this class” 

“Oh by the way, did you finish the homework? Haha, I forgot it.” 

Mammon always repays you for your help in food though so you aren’t complaining

Leviathan

Majoring in Computer Sciences

And honestly that’s too much for me already-- the man is doing computer programming, coding-- WHEW-- and they do NOT rest

Goes to a community college but honestly has no problems cinching internships. The computer is his domain-- online applications are EASY, doing projects NOT as easy, interviews? HARD-- REALLY HARD (someone help him)

Probably intends to work with a big company like Google if only to help supply his income so he can live his life going to AX and buying merch 

Most likely moved out of his house mid-college with his online friends (who are luckily compatible with him living-space wise) and visits home once a week 

There’s two potential sides you can meet first: 

Either you meet him at a convention and you both gush about the same character and anime and somehow find each other online (not college related) 

Or his favorite Ruri-chan keychain gets broken off in the computer lab, and you’re the one running after him to give it him

He may or may not owe you his life after that (and if you enjoy anime, well that’s a bonus)

Both of these meetings can happen if he doesn’t recognize you in class because you were in cosplay-- imagine the surprise

The two of you as friends are MASTER PROCRASTINATORS at every assignment the two of you have-- so low-key not a great influence-- but you have fun together watching animes, playing games, talking about life-- anything but actual work 

Always ends up scrambling to finish things-- but he keeps doing it because it’s been working for him so far

You help him prepare for interviews because he’s always nervous before each one regardless of how well his application looks

Satan

Majoring in Comparative Literature AND Anthropology (ya boy is doing the whole nine yards)

Planning to get his Master’s and then a PhD in one of his majors (whichever proves to be more engaging for him)-- visibly excited to become a Professor

College was meant for Satan-- like REALLY; the man is in LOVE with learning; most likely to go and be accepted to an Ivy-League after Lucifer but... truly believes you can get a good education anywhere so it depends on his financial standing (and how much scholarship he gets)

Does get a little disgruntled when his classes aren’t available but doesn’t mind learning something new-- if the professor bores him to death, he’ll read the book

Really good at tutoring people; someone suggests that he works as a peer-learning facilitator/writing tutor and he does-- might as well make bank doing something you always do anyways   

Joins a writing/journal club as an extracurricular and a club that provides tutoring services to the underserved community-- surprisingly good with kids!

He knows friends in high places, so if he wanted to, could get into any party without batting an eye and his favorite professors love him

Spends a lot of his time going out to the city and exploring places, similarly to Mammon, rock-climbing, hiking, paragliding-- anything

He is VERY well-rounded as you can see; competes with Lucifer to see whose GPA is better though

You probably meet him during office hours, and you can only stare in awe as he asks questions that you had in mind, but better; if you’re visibly confused about something, he’ll take his time to help you too (it’s habit at this point)

Ask him for his contact info and you’ll get it, and maybe repay him in coffee? (You always see him at the cafe on campus.) 

Most likely to have a specific spot in a cafe that he is always at that the workers actually save a spot for him or give him his usual order before he even arrives-- may or may not have helped them edit their essays or with their homework as a thank-you so you KNOW they’ll love him forever

The type of person to help you make flashcards and cram if you need it

Asmodeus

Majoring in Dance and Fine Arts (I HC going to NYU specifically)

Considering going for an Master of Fine Arts degree but he might just move to New York and go for being a Broadway Star

College is mainly just training for him and hoping to land gigs in local theater-- and the university theater if there is one-- and building his resume for his big break 

Has SO many extracurriculars, all pertaining to his career choice, but also because he enjoys what he does: drama, competitive dance team, acapella, fashion design

Makes an unbelievable amount of friends, incredibly good at networking

The first time you saw him was when he was performing for a local theater and you were in love with his performance, and the next time you saw him in the hallway of a classroom building, you told him how much you enjoyed it

Always accepts compliments about his looks with grace, but there’s something about truly being admired for his acting and singing that has him preening

Invites you to come out to his next performance, and if not his, then to another play-- and it can be a date, but up to you ;) 

The man is the KING of Multiple Talents and has big dreams to match 

Always finds a way to hang out with you and drag you to every club that he can use his fake-id for (and when he’s actually 21 and above, gets a little offended that he doesn’t get ID’d) 

A night in the town with you is always a good night! 

Sometimes when he has practical exams coming up, he asks you to watch him perform-- and he likes your compliments but actually takes getting all the moves seriously so you better pay attention!

Most likely to move far away to reach his dreams, but he would take you with him if he could-- his little star

Beelzebub

Majoring in Physiological Sciences

Pre-Nursing or Pre-Sports Medicine 

He’s a little undecided, but he’s definitely going to go into the health field because he likes the idea of being able to use his strength to help others

Gets a scholarship from the university because he’s part of the football team, which is actually pretty hard on him because Fall Semester/Quarter he has to keep skipping classes for games  

Always brings a snack to eat with him during lecture-- and is not afraid to bring his entire lunch and make it right in the front row, though he tends to stick to the back because they tend to have electrical plugs 

You most likely meet him during lecture: he offers you an entire sandwich (not a chip bag, not fruit snacks, an entire LUNCH) because he heard your stomach growl during class 

From then on, you collect notes for him when he’s gone from games and even go to games if you aren’t usually the type to just to see how he’s doing; it’s hard trying to find you among the huge bleachers, but he always asks you where you’re sitting anyways 

Really appreciate it if you help him study into late at night because it IS hard balancing sports and academics 

He most likely doesn’t really have any time for anything else so he usually makes up for it during the rest of the year when training is less to volunteer in the hospital or at the gym as a personal trainer 

If you ask him to teach you how to properly lift weights, he’ll definitely help out and the both of you can work out together-- though you feel bad when he has to add four extra weights to each side after you finish your reps

Belphegor

Majoring in Computer Graphics/Animation

Intending to go into making animation or game design-- is one of the brothers who doesn’t really know exactly what he wants to do yet because he’s afraid that doing what he loves as a job will ruin it for him

His family reassures him that they’ll support him whether or not he continues with his path in life, but he’s considering art school and then taking internships in places so he has a better idea on what he wants

Most likely to sell his own original work and become a full-time artist regardless

I think you already know how you meet him-- he’s sleeping in a lecture hall-- either against the wall or on the small piece of wood they call a desk when class ends and he’s still sleeping; and you wake him up 

Sleepily thanks you and continues to sleep through every class that you wake him up to; when you ask him why he doesn’t just go home and sleep, he tells you he’s too lazy to walk back and forth from his dorm/apartment to campus (mood) 

When you add each other on Snapchat or something, he sends you pics of ‘places to nap’ on campus

You always end up studying together because he’s actually pretty good at understanding lecture stuff despite not being awake for most of it-- apparently he’s used to teaching himself 

Will make you art for your birthday and will vehemently refuse payment so he just tells you to take him out for dinner instead 

If you talk about how you’re not sure on what you want to do in life too, he’ll probably say ‘mood’ but is most likely to encourage you to do whatever you want to do in life too 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.

[dopcmine]

   ⋆     𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 —  * ⋆ ╰  hey , did you happen to see DAMON NAM on campus today ? you know , the JEON JUNGKOOK look-alike in our seven am class ? yeah , that SENIOR . ah , well they had their SILVER NECKLACE on their desk this morning and left without it . i wanted to return it … but i have to get to class in five minutes . wait , don’t you see them around at THE APARTMENTS ? oh , great ! can you bring it to HIM then ? ugh , thank you so much. you’re the best ! now i know they get the rep of being EGOCENTRIC but you don’t have to worry . they’re always MAGNETIC . and who knows , maybe you two’ll hit it off ! i know that they’re a INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS major too . well , i have to jet before i miss my exam but i’ll catch you at the frat party later , right ? oh , you should bring DAMON ! it’s always fun having the PLAYBOY around .

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: damon nam

nicknames: none

age: twenty-three

d.o.b: april 15, 1996

zodiac: aries sun, leo moon, scorpio rising

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: tattoo artist @ body electric tattoo and piercing 

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

twt & insta handle: p7ayboy

insta followers: 1.3m

twt followers: 1m

tik tok: 750k

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

cruisin’ around l.a with the windows down, drinking cold beers on a hot summer afternoon, old school music playing loudly from his apartment, late night kbbq dates with the gang, old childhood scars from fights and playing outside until late evening, silver jewelry around his neck and wrists, street racing, rolling blunts on the hood of his car, face smudge with oil and sweat working on his car, stumbling around the city on the lookout for his favorite food trucks, tattoos up to his neck and down his arms all the way to his back, a gold virgin mary necklace hanging from his rear view mirror, belting out to romantic spanish music drunk and slurring the words, always moving forward and never looking back, selfish tendencies, playing with people like a deck of cards, carrying a butterfly knife with him at all times

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 :

born and raised in east los angeles, damon had to grow up a little faster than his peers. he comes from a working class family, his parents both public school teachers trying to get by like every other family. being one of the very little korean-american families in maravilla, damon used to get picked on and bullied to the point he refused to get out of bed in his early elementary days. but like any kid, he made friends with some of the neighborhood kids that went to the same school he did, and they stuck by his side. it gave damon the confidence to stand up for himself now that he had his little group to the point he repeated the bad words they taught him in spanish to the same little boys that would pick on him, not knowing what it meant but knowing it was something about their moms that caused one his many first fights to break out in the school yard. after that, damon and his little band of misfits became a little notorious for getting into scuffles with other students. 

he stayed in maravilla up until high school, venturing north to a new house due to his dad being offered the position of principal at a junior high. damon went on to attend lincoln high school but it wasn’t hard to fit in, nor was it difficult to fall into step with a new group of friends ( some of which he knew from his earlier days when he used to sneak out of his house with his friend and venture off ). high school was a ride, even if damon had found a place where he belonged people still loved to talk shit and damon loved nothing more than confrontation. he got into fights behind grocery stores, there was fights in empty parking lots where groups of people showed up before everyone scattered the moment they heard cop sirens down the street. damon did get caught once for a misdemeanor the summer before sophomore year and his parents had to get him out which was a hell of a ride home, both his parents almost losing their voices taking turns yelling at him. 

it was that moment that his parents made him attend mandatory after school classes, starting smack in the middle of summer. it’s safe to say he was very angry about it but found no outlet to get it out on when he was confined to the library. he started doodling instead of doing his homework while he was in there, soon off he started drawing more and he had talent. he could draw any picture you put in front of him just by looking at it, and soon he started to create his own. that very same summer, on one of the rare days his parents let him out to go to one his friend’s birthday party, he met their older brother, covered in tattoos from his legs to his arms. old english font and a portrait of a woman he later learned was his wife. he was entranced by the ink that decorated the man, asking him questions as the man grilled the carne asada, coughing every once in a while the smoke blew in his direction. 

too keep it short, damon wanted to do that. he wanted to draw permanent drawings on people and he wanted his own. he drew more, filling more sketchbooks with his own ideas and interpretations of others. he started working odd jobs after school, trying to save up for his own tattoo gun and ink, even venturing off to tattoo shops to observe them before he got told to scram. at the age of sixteen he had his own set and it wasnt long before his friends lined up to get their first tattoos done by damon. just little small things that didn’t require damon to worry too much about safety and health. the first tattoo he made on himself was a lucky eight ball and a match, now faded on the sides of his fingers. 

at seventeen his got his fake id not only for booze but to get a job at a parlor -- not tattooing -- but cleaning up after them, keeping the store tidy and clean. he had a car at the time, an old beat up chevy, and it took him thirty minutes to get to body electric. the owner new damon was underage but he let him work anyway. point is, he was taken under his wing and became an intern, an apprentice, and by the time damon hit eighteen and got his tattoo license, he was able to work a couple hours at first. from 18 to now, damon has been in the same place with a booming following on social media -- which is thanks to his good looks and talent. 

he’s been wanting to drop out of ucla because of how in-demand he is now. he’s tattooed celebrities, from socialites to rappers to all sorts of people. he hooks up his old friends from where he grew up for free, and his close friends at school too. but overall, damon makes hella bank now. which is why he finds school pointless, however, the owner of the parlor he works out told him that if he didn’t finish his bachelors he’ll fire him. the owner definitely grew to treat damon as a son, and wants him to venture out and travel with his talent, but he wants him to be smart about it and learn the ropes of the business industry. it’s why damon stays despite not being too happy about it, but it’s his last year and he’s going to make it one shot of patron at a time. 

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔: 

damon is trilingual -- english, korean, and spanish ( considering he grew up in a heavily latinx/chincax neighborhood as a child, the language latched on to him ). 

he’s very appreciative of the chicanx culture because he grew up around it, and they took him in despite not being chicanx himself he was still treated as family by his close friends. ( and also because i’m biased to my own culture and east los is heavily mexican/latinx )

he almost joined a gang but it was around the time he was forced into after school study where he found his outlet through art. 

he knows how to dance pero like cumbias and shit, he’s hella good at it.

damon makes it his goal to be good at everything, it doesn’t even matter what it is. 

he has a bmw he fixed up and uses it for street racing -- races which he wins most of the times ( just ask dae lmao ). 

he can drive under the influence of weed but i do not condone this behavior !! but he can do it, but he’s beent doing it, don’t try this at home guys, or alone. 

damon was a little heartthrob in high school though, going out with the girls and hooking up with some guys. 

he was honestly one of the popular kids growing up, he was in THAT group that people longed to be a part of because they were always out mobbing, drinking, throwing parties and being out. they had fun, but they were also notorious trouble-makers. 

his tik tok thing started as a joke because damon looked like the eboys that began to trend and now he has dae help him film them just for the hell of it, because why not. he’s got nothing to lose, it’s a good laugh in the end. 

is a gym rat, he’s out there doing weights and bulking up and boxing because sometimes he just wants to procrastinate his homework and that’s valid, plus he’s gotta stay in shape with all that heavy drinking and weed intake. 

patron is his best friend -- after dae of course lmao.

damon’s actually never been in love??? like he’s had maybe three s/o’s but it was never that serious? except maybe for his first one? but he’s never experienced something where he feels genuine care for a person and love, it’s mostly just lust and like the need to experience what it’s like being with someone but it never rlly takes off

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

gang shit: this one’s already taken up by whoever’s in the no homo chat but like, let me plot out dynamics with you all cause ion know how damon is gonna treat y’all characters if we don’t talk about it lmao

enemies: damon could always use some tbh, those are fun because damon grew up around people that have given him a hard time and he isn’t one to back down from a good altercation 

an ex: listen, damon isn’t that great of a person he probably cheated on them only because he didn’t know they were exclusive and frankly, he doesn’t really even remember agreeing to be something but they were and even if damon knew, he still went ahead and did it.

highschool sweetheart, THE ex: listen this one is...particular and super specific. must be a girl/nb but latinx because i picture this being the person who really really taught damon more than he already knew, from dancing to romantic spanish music, etc. perhaps they weren’t in love but they did care about each other, damon even still has a gift i picture she gave him ( a gold virgin mary necklace ) hanging from his rear view mirror. this is like...when we can take up more chars ig? idk just thought i’d write it down

flings: hookups ig? except not people involved with dae cause he isn’t about to fuck no sloppy seconds lmao, if not he venturing out to usc away from ucla lmaooo

idk what else to add im so tired and this is so late and i just want to post it, so if y’all got anything else just hmu tbh

[honeycombcal]

Clichés - C.H. (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Words: 3576

Warnings: Language, slight mention of anxiety

AN: Here it is, part 2! I hope you guys enjoy it, I wanted to add a little bit of angst but of course end with fluff fluff f l u f f. I hope the ending doesn’t seem rushed, it’s almost 3 in the morning when I’m posting this lmao. If you like this, I take requests if you have any! xx (gif does not belong to me, credits go to whoever made it)

Part 1 Part 3

“You gotta wear it,” Brittany urged, thrusting the article of clothing toward you once more.

You huffed, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth and lightly pressing your teeth down. You looked it over again, the black bodysuit sparking nerves in your stomach. The front plunged lower than anything else you owned, the back nonexistent. You never went out so you didn’t have any ‘going out’ clothes other than this one piece, and you began to wonder what the hell you were thinking buying it in the first place.

“I don’t know, Britt,” you muttered, taking the bodysuit in your hands. It was a soft material, and you remember feeling comfortable and, surprisingly, confident in it when you had tried it on in the store. It hugged your body in all the right places, and the dark washed, ripped jeans you had bought to tuck it into made you feel like a runway model. Looking at the piece of cloth now, you felt your confidence level sinking to the floor.

“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea,” you continued, making Brittany scoff.

“What idea? That you’re hot and totally in love with him?” she teased, flopping down onto your bed. You groaned, rolling your eyes at your roommate.

“Not in love with him!” you retorted, throwing the bodysuit at her and rushing to your adjoining bathroom before she could whip it back at you.

You glanced at your reflection in the mirror, almost not recognizing the girl- no, woman- looking back at you. Her hair was curled into perfect, glossy waves. Her eyes were smokey and not hidden by her normal big glasses. She glowed in a way you hadn’t seen before.

“It’ll be a miracle if he even recognizes me,” you called to her, fidgeting with your hair. You hear your roommate chuckle before she pads into your bathroom, looking at you in the mirror.

“You look amazing, but I think he’s into you for more than just your looks. Humor me and wear the bodysuit. You can always bring a sweater to throw over it if you start to feel uncomfortable,” she spoke softly, her eyes meeting yours. You pursed your lips before finally relenting, nodding and going back into your bedroom to get dressed.

Your phone buzzed on your bedside table, catching your attention as you pulled your jeans up, wiggling around to get them to sit on your hips just right. You pulled the zipper up as you walked to your phone where it charged, bringing the button through its slit as you bent your head to read the text that had popped up on the screen.

Calum Hood: just checking in to make sure you don’t ditch tonight to study how paint dries… see you soon x

You couldn’t help but snort at the first half of his text, and swoon at the ‘x’ he’d signed it with. You wanted to scold yourself for getting so worked up over a boy, but Calum Hood just wasn’t like any other boy.

“Don’t make me drag you up there because I will,” Brittany threatened, turning in the driver’s seat to give you a pointed look.

Dread was slowly starting to flood your stomach as you looked over Britt’s shoulder to the house. Some people were milling about outside in the yard, some were playing a game of beer pong on the porch, but it was clear that the inside of the house was packed. Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, your mouth all of a sudden feeling very dry.

“I can’t do this,” you breathe, your panic stricken eyes meeting your roommate’s now soft ones. Brittany placed her hands on your bare shoulders.

“Hey, yes you can. You are smart, and beautiful, and more than capable of going into some dumb party,” she reassured you. You swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in your throat as your gaze shifted back towards the grey house.

“Why can’t you come with me,” you whined, which earned you a giggle from Brittany.

“I actually have studying I have to do so that chem test doesn’t kick my ass on Monday. I believe in you, and if you’re still freaked out after 20 minutes, call me and I’ll come right back. Okay?” she spoke softly, ducking her head to get you to meet her eyes. You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded slowly.

“Deep breaths,” she encouraged, taking a deep breath herself so that you would do the same. You both took three deep breaths before you opened the door.

“Be safe, have fun! Love you!” Britt chirped, making you smile and blow her a kiss before shutting the car door. She waited for you to follow the path up to the house before driving off.

Your eyes darted to the people outside, even though you knew you wouldn’t know anyone. You were caught off guard when you heard a low whistle, your head whipping to the general direction that you heard it. You were used to being invisible, and you didn’t mind it. You fidgeted with your jacket, having opted for a red suede one rather than a boring cardigan. Your booties clicked on the pavement as you approached the house, the bass of the music growing increasingly louder. You lingered by the door, hesitating, before turning the doorknob.

The temperature inside the house was sweltering compared to the frigid air outside. You shut the door, eyes wide as you took everything in. To your right was the living room, packed with bodies and smelling of alcohol and- was that weed? The hallway in front of you lead to what you assumed would be the kitchen, and the stairs to your left must lead to where the bedrooms are. You were beginning to wonder why the hell you hadn’t texted Calum to let him know you were here. You wandered into the living room, glancing around the faces you didn’t recognize in hopes of seeing him.

Your heart began to race as anxious thoughts started to flood your mind. You chewed on your lip as you pushed through everyone, making your way into the dining room where it looked like people were playing some other kind of drinking game you didn’t know. You tried desperately to control your rapid breathing, turning to go back into the living room when you saw him.

He looked amazing. The simple black t-shirt he wore seemed to strain against his biceps, his tattoos a stark contrast to his golden skin. His black jeans were tight, showcasing his muscular legs. His dark hair looked softer than ever, the curls resting against his forehead. His long fingers were wrapped around a red solo cup, and he was laughing at something someone said. You looked to see it was Hemmings, from the soccer game. He caught your gaze almost immediately, making your face heat as he nudged Calum. Cal’s eyebrows raised before turning in your direction, doing a double take before his eyes widened just enough for you to notice. His plump lips parted slightly, his dark eyes scanning your body before you finally mustered enough courage to join them.

“Hey,” you breathed, feeling awkward and out of place. Calum gave you a smile, one that made your heart almost beat of your chest.

“Y/N, wow, I almost didn’t recognize you! You look amazing,” he praised, wrapping his arms around you. You returned his hug and rested your head in the crook of his neck, his scent making you feel at home.

“Yeah well, I’m already so far out of my comfort zone I thought I might as well switch it up a little bit,” you giggled, pulling away. Calum chuckled.

“Oh, Y/N, this is Luke Hemmings, my teammate and one of my roommates,” Calum introduced you to the blonde boy, seemingly remembering his friend was still standing there.

“Hemmings, yeah, that was a nice assist you had today,” you smiled, hoping to impress the guys on your terminology. It seemed to work, as Luke’s eyebrows shot up.

“Hey thanks, I’m actually kinda surprised you know what that is,” Luke chuckled.

“You should’ve heard her at the game, she was yelling about that douchebag holding my jersey!” Calum chimed in, making you blush.

“Well, I had to study something today,” you shrugged, making the guys laugh.

“I’ll have to test your knowledge some other time, then,” Calum teased, winking at you. You pursed your lips but nodded, going along with it. Your knowledge of soccer was still limited, but you were hoping you had enough time to learn more before Calum grilled you about it.

“Hey, Cal, you always said you can never hear anything the crowd yells. Remember that one time, that guy was heckling-” Luke started, Calum’s death glare promptly cutting him off. You felt your face heat at the fact that Calum had heard you during his game, but you decided to let him off easy.

“So, how many other guys live here?” you asked, remembering that Calum had said that Luke was one of his roommates.

“Two others, Michael and Ashton. They should be around here somewhere-”

“Cal!” a high pitched voice called, interrupting him. A beautiful girl bounced to his side, her eyes gleaming as she caught Calum’s attention, her hands wrapping around his bicep.

“Hey, Nicki-” Calum started to greet her, but she grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the stairs.

“Come with me,” she insisted, giving him a beautiful smile.

It felt like your heart had sank to your stomach. Did you actually think that Calum was interested in you romantically? He was way out of your league; you were just some girl he sat next to in class. He probably just felt bad for you and that’s why he invited you out tonight.

Calum glanced at Luke before looking at you, his eyes searching your face. You tried your best to smile at him, nodding that it was okay. He still seemed reluctant as Nicki practically dragged him away.

“That should be interesting,” Luke huffed, bringing his cup to his lips. Your gaze shifted from where Calum had just been to Luke.

“What do you mean?” you asked, hoping you weren’t coming off as nosy.

“Nicki’s his ex,” Luke sighed, his face scrunching up to show his distaste of the beautiful girl.

“Oh,” was all you could manage, your heart all the way in the basement now.

“She’s psycho. They broke up around the beginning of the semester but she won’t leave him alone,” he gossiped, your eyebrows raising at the information.

“Why’d they break up?” You didn’t care if you were coming off nosy now,

“She cheated on him with some football player. He can’t stand her but for some reason she just keeps showing up. Probably doesn’t help that he still hooks up with her every now and then,” Luke muttered, downing the rest of his drink. You felt your mouth pop open at that last sentence, feeling your heart shatter into pieces.

“I’m gonna go get a refill, you want anything?” he asked you, oblivious to the heartbreak he had just inflicted on you. You merely shook your head, not able to speak before Luke went off to the kitchen.

You stood there, in that crowded room, feeling utterly alone. The boy you had come here to see, the one that you had fallen so hard for over these past few months, had been pulled upstairs by his ex right in front of you. You were mortified. Unshed tears began to burn your eyes, your throat dry. It felt as though the walls were closing in on you; people kept brushing against you, some softly and some with more force, sending your senses into overdrive. You had to get out of here.

You pushed your way through the crowd, making your way to the door. You slammed it shut behind you, the cool air welcoming on your burning skin. You ignored the stares the party goers outside gave you, rushing down the path toward the street and beginning to walk. You should probably call Brittany, but you didn’t want to have to tell her what happened. You recognized where you were on campus, and you knew there were a slew of bars and shops just up the street.

You hugged your arms around yourself, the wind unforgiving. Your mind raced, a million thoughts jumbled around in your brain. Why had he invited you out tonight? Why had he given you his jersey to wear? Was he just being friendly and you took it the wrong way? You felt like an idiot. You had always worn your heart on your sleeve, and it had always bitten you in the ass; this time was clearly no different.

You had made it into town, your eyes scanning the storefronts. One caught your eye, a neon sign in cursive blinking “The Lib”. You decided to check it out, opening the door. A bell tinkled somewhere, an alert that someone was here. You’d never heard of this place before, your eyes scanning the small bar. A red, almost pink, glow was cast inside and the wall to your right was lined with books. Further down the wall was where a quaint bar was nestled, a small woman standing behind it cleaning some glasses. The left wall had all kinds of posters and pieces of art decorating it, a stage adorning the back corner. They must have live music in here some nights, but tonight was dead. You were the only person there, so you approached the bar slowly.

“Hiya hun, what can I get ya?” the woman asked you, her smile warm and inviting. Her wavy dirty blonde hair was cut into a stylish bob, framing her face perfectly. She had delicate features, and she reminded you of a pixie. You liked her immediately.

“Can I get a vodka sprite?” you asked, showing her your ID. She waved you away and nodded, beginning to make your drink.

“What brings you in all by your lonesome on a Saturday night?” she inquired, seemingly genuine. You sighed, taking a seat at the bar.

“Clichés,” you muttered, making her eyebrows raise as she handed you your drink.

“What do you mean?” she cocked her head, leaning her elbows on the bar.

“This guy is way out of my league and I should’ve known better,” you gave her the short version, taking a sip of your drink and wincing.

“Out of your league? I’m sorry, but have ya looked in the mirror lately?! You are stunning,” she complimented, making you smile.

“I don’t always look like this,” you laughed. If only she could see you during the week. She scoffed, going to wipe the bar down on the opposite end.

“I didn't catch your name?” you asked her, and she gave you a friendly smile.

“Mickie. I own the bar,” she told you. You nodded in appreciation.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. I really love how you incorporated the book wall,” you tell her earnestly. This could easily become one of your new favorite spots.

“Well I’m glad someone does! I just love everything nerdy I guess, so having a book wall and a bunch of art and live music just felt right to me,” she shrugged, coming back down to stand in front of you.

“I’m a nerd right there with ya,” you giggled, making her smile.

The bell chimed overhead, signaling that someone else was here. You looked to the door and felt your heart in your throat as Calum walked towards you.

“Thought I’d find you here,” he breathed. You glanced at Mickie as she looked at Calum and back at you.

“I’ll be in the back if you need anything,” she told you, giving you some privacy. You nodded, going to take another sip of your drink before you remembered she hadn’t charged you.

“Wait! How much-?”

“On the house!” she called over her shoulder.

Calum settled in on the stool next to you, his body facing you as you faced the bar.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” you murmured, fiddling with your straw.

“I played a gig with my band here last week. Reminded me of you,” he responded softly, making your insides liquify. He’s in a band? Is there anything he can’t do?

“Why’d you run off?” he asked, and you could feel his gaze searching your face. You rolled your lips into your mouth, head dropping to stare at your lap.

“You seemed otherwise… preoccupied. And I didn’t know anyone else,” you shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. You stole a glance at Calum, his face full of concern.

“I definitely wouldn’t say I was preoccupied… more like ambushed,” he chuckled, but stopped once you didn’t join in.

“It’s okay, Luke told me,” you reassured, leaning forward to take a long sip of your drink. You could feel your body warming thanks to the drink, your tolerance practically nonexistent.

“Luke told you what?” Calum prompted, searching your face.

“About Nicki. And you. You and Nicki. It’s okay, I don’t want to interfere-” you began, but Calum quickly shut you down.

“Woah woah woah, okay, slow down. Clearly he had more to drink than I thought,” Calum huffed, you finally deciding to meet his gaze.

“There is no ‘me and Nicki’. She cheated on me before school started, I broke up with her, we hooked up once a few days after, and that was that. She always shows up to parties that I’m at and it drives me up the fucking wall,” he explained, unknowingly piecing your heart back together.

“I’m pretty sure she tells people that we still mess around to keep other girls from talking to me. But you’re not just any girl,” he continued, taking your hand. Your heart, now fully repaired, threatened to beat right out of your chest.

“I love that you are so lowkey. You keep to yourself, and it’s adorable, but there’s so much… innocence to it, for lack of a better word. You’re untouched by all the shitty drama that goes on in my life, and you’re just… like a breath of fresh air,” he breathed the last part. You felt your lips tug into a smile at his words.

“I’ve loved getting to know you these past few months. I’ve loved spending time with you, learning what you like and dislike, and pretending that I need your notes,” he winks before continuing. “I love that you went so far out of your comfort zone tonight, and I loved seeing you in my jersey at the game. You look beautiful tonight, but I love seeing you in your glasses too.”

“Where are you going with this, Hood?” you breathed, unsure if this was real life or if you had picked up a romance book off of the shelves of The Lib and were reading that instead. Calum chuckled, squeezing your hand.

“Nicki is no one you should worry about. She saw me talking to you and tried to scare you off, which I guess worked, but I wasn’t gonna let her win. I really like you, Y/N,” he admitted, his free hand coming up to brush your cheek. You felt your breath catch in your throat, time seemingly standing still.

“You do?” you squeaked, his face breaking out in a grin that made the skin around his eyes crinkle.

“I don’t know how to make it any more obvious,” he teased, making you giggle.

“I’m book smart, but I never said anything about street smart,” you fired back, making him chuckle.

“I’ll have to tutor you sometime,” he shrugged.

“If you could find time in your busy schedule, I would be so honored,” you pretended to swoon, his eyes narrowing but a smirk played on his plump lips.

“You wanna chill here the rest of the night?” he asked, his thumb rubbing circles absentmindedly on your hand. You gave him a soft smile and nodded, loving the atmosphere of the empty bar more than any packed party.

“On one condition,” he stated.

“Yeah?”

“You have to come to the rest of my soccer games this season,” he gave you a shy smile. 

“I wouldn’t dream of missing them.”

Something shifted in the expression on Calum’s face, and before you knew it, he was leaning in closer to you. Your eyes fluttered shut as he pressed his soft lips to yours, his hands coming up to hold your face. It was a soft kiss, nothing rushed or sensual about it, but it was perfect.

He pulled away, and if everything in the bar wasn’t already washed in a red glow, you would’ve sworn that his cheeks were tinted pink. You gave him a reassuring smile, leaning back to kiss his cheek as Mickie appeared from the back.

“Hey, Cal,” she greeted him, your eyes widening.

“What? He’s amazing at the piano, and a killer bassist,” she shrugs, making you giggle and Calum laugh. You made a mental note to ask when his next gig was so you could go to all of those as well.

You were typically a homebody, but with Calum, you could feel that all beginning to change. And you had no complaints, thankful for the cliché that seemed to work out in your favor just like in the books that lined the walls.

taglist: @rexorangecouny @flowerchild8341 @therainydays4

[shadeof-sage]

I gotta do this. Nobody cares but I gotta do it

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? • "well, I didn't see this coming. Did you?" 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? • we don't really talk anymore. I don't really know what happened, but I wish our friendship wasn't ruined. 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? • I'm down for them to be into anything except for meth 4. Is your last name longer than six letters? • nope. 5 5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? • drunk cause New Year's Eve, baby 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? •ohhh yeah. it's already happened twice this year 7. What does your last received text say? • "psst" 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? • I can't remember an exact number but it was multiple times 9. Where was your last kiss at? • in my friends front yard 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? • last night when I got home 11. What do you drink in the morning? • tea, water, oj, and beer on a good day 12. Where did you sleep last night? • my bedaroo 13. Do you think relationships are hard? • they can be if the other person doesn't give equal effort 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? • ohh yeah, the list is too long to type lol 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? • nah. we'd most likely start talking about what happened with us. at least I'd hope that would be what happened. it could also just be silent. or, we'd get drunk and then talk about shit. lol 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? • raining while it's sunny!! 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? • surprisingly, no. it's such a common middle name 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? • boxer briefs that I stole from someone. they're comfy as hell 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? • who knows 20. Does anyone like you? • I'd like to think so 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? • no, I don't think so 22. Is the last person you kissed gay? • haha no. that would be a plot twist 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? • Donald Trump 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? • I plan on getting my whole body tatted 25. In the past week have you cried? • yes, in the shower 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? • a gorgeous German Shepard 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? • in the shower 28. Have you ever kissed a football player? • 3. unfortunately. those lil fuckboys 29. Do you think you’re old? • my soul is old, but my body isn't 30. Do you like text messaging? •if I wasn't so shy, I'd definitely want to talk on the phone more. text messaging is a good safe zone 31. What type of day are you having? • I just woke up, I don't know yet 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? • it's been pierced 3 times. it never works out, although I do want to try it again someday 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? • fucking warm as hell, r u kidding me 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? •hell yeah, multiple people 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? • depends. some people are relationship worthy and some people are better as flings 36. Are you a simple or complicated person? • I'd like to think I'm a simple person, but I'm not 37. What song are you listening to? • palemote. it's from my sleep playlist 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? • wholeheartedly. That's why i don't say it very often 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? • yeppers 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? • I don't really like anyone right now. 41. When did you last receive a text message? • 4 minutes ago 42. What is wrong with you right now? • haha, don't get me started 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? • she works with me and I've never seen her out of work, so not much 44. Does anyone disgust you? • Donald fucking trump 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? • depends who they were and if we have a connection 46. Are you in a good mood right now? • neutral 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? • my sister 48. What color shirt are you wearing? • a darkish blue 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? • yeah. this guy asked me on a date to the movies and it made me cringe a lil bit and I don't know how to get out of it 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? • nope. I don't give up on people. unless they want me out of their life completely 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? • no. I'm still in love with him actually. I can't really move on because I haven't had the closer that I need 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? • you have no idea 53. Do you like rain? • I crave it 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? • nah, we'll having drinking competitions 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? • haha yep. but I didn't tell them because I was too afraid that I was going to get hurt 56. Do you like to cuddle? • I love it, I just can't fall asleep when cuddled 57. Are you shy? • depends on who the person is. I try not to be 58. Do you get along with girls? • yessss, all da girls are my friendz 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? • no, and I don't want to 60. What do you carry with you at all times? • haha, this one will be funny. i carry my wallet, 4 lighters, weed, a pipe, rolling papers, makeup bag, 2 chapsticks, something minty, eye drops, naproxen sodium (for nasty ass migraines), a flashlight, phone charger, a water bottle and an old spice container I put tequila in sometimes so I can have a little somethin somethin during the day 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? • GHOSTS! :D :D :D 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? • I've never even had a relationship in general, but I'd hope so lol 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? • nah, single as the pringles I was eatin 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? • yes, I'd cry a little bit on the inside 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? • probably. can't remember anything too special though 66. How old are the last three people you kissed? • hahaha. 21, 20, and 28 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? • pay to get them done, I need those nice ass acrylics 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? • sheer print. heh. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? • if I had a car, I'd have a shit load of stickers 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? • Luke Bryan makes me want to claw my ears off, so lil Wayne it is 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? • iPhone. Always. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? • ew. 73. Do you like diet soda? • I don't like soda in general. except for sprite when my tummy hurts. 74. What color are the walls in your room? • boring and white 75. Are you 16 or older? • turned 18 a month ago, boyyyy 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? • I used to, now I think it's been carried out for too long so it bores me. 77. Do you have a job? • I got 2 78. What are your initials? • S.A.B. 79. Did you ever have braces? • yes, and I might need them again because my teeth hate me 80. Are you from the south? • nahh, Texans are hot as fuck though 81. What does your last status on facebook say? • it's a picture of the curly haired kid from Stranger Things pointing to a number on the wall that says "11" and the text above it says " on a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed out are you?" 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? • noooo, I don't even think he's alive. sadly 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? • I was closer to my mom. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm drifting away from both of them. 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? • I did gymnastics for 3 years when I was little 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? • split 86. Do you smoke? • not cigarettes but hella weed 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? • depends on the occasion because I look good in both 88. Is your phone touch screen? • nah, this iPhone is from 1999. it has a keyboard hooked into it 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? • since its growing out right now, the only way it looks good is if it's curly 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? • too many times to count 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? • all of the above 92. Have you ever made out in a car? • yes 93. …Had sex in a car? • nah, but I've given sloppy dick kisses multiple times in a car 94. Are you single or in a relationship? • been single since 1999 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? • fast the fuck asleep 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? • New Year's Eve 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? • it's not the bestest of the best. but it does its job 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? • yep. it never ends well and I end up losing that friend :( 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? • ugh. yes. I hate it 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? • no. they're probably blocked 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? • yeah, when I was 14. not good. I know 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: • sleazy. my go to song when I was 13. lmao 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? • yesssss and imma get more today 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? • I'd wear heels or doc martens with shorts. word.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #143

“i’d rather be in battle than slaughtered like cattle.”

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming?  Sad, I had separation anxiety from Mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten?  No. Did you ever read the "Junie B. Jones" books?  LOVED THEM. Were you friends with your neighbors?  I was friends with a boy down the street. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games?  YESSSSS I LOVED THE BIRTHDAY PARTY ONE. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess?  None really, we just played on the swings and such. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid?  Chocolate. Who were you last in an elevator with?  Mom. Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate?  No. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most?  I have tattoo ideas on it lmao. Who is the last child that you took a photo with?  Aubree. How and where did you get your most recent cut?  On the side of my hand.  I was drying my feet off after a shower, and my toenail cut the fuck out of it. ;-;  Pretty sure the scar's gonna be permanent. Would you ever get a nature tattoo?  Yeah, sure. Do you have any locked texts messages?  A few from Sara. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  My sisters are just "Ash" and "Nicky." Which company provides your car insurance?  I don't have my own car. Have you ever ordered from an informercial?  Nope. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  Tattoo parlor in June to get a tattoo. Why did your last relationship end?  I didn't like him like that, I found. Do you have any tan lines?  No. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?  No. How old were you when you became financially independent from your parents?  Lol I'm not. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?  Ummmm probs salt and vinegar. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  No. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?  What the super fuck even is Latin. Do you have any food intolerances or allergies?  No.  Well, without my medicine, bananas give me hellish heartburn. What’s the most number of people you’ve ever lived with?  Five.  Mom, Dad, two immediate sisters, and on different occasions my half-brother lived with us, then Dad's daughter stayed here a while. How many college degrees do you want?  Ideally, a master's because that's what is required to be an out-in-the-field zoologist.  I can do some things with lower ones, though. What do you look forward to most in the next two months?  Photographing my first wedding, my nephew's and mom's birthdays, going to see Sara in a little over two. What song explains how you feel about love?  "When It's Love" by Van Halen will always be way up there. Have you ever been IN a wedding?  Yeah, bridesmaid at Ash's. Have you ever been covered in mud?  Probably as a kid? Are there any books you wanna read?  I'm always gonna wanna read Rhett and Link's book, and I wanna start reading Wings of Fire 'cuz it sounds like something I'd like, thanks Sara. What classes are you taking in school? I'm not back in it yet. What is the last song you attempted to play on an instrument? I don't remember.  I took my guitar out months upon months ago to try and mess wi- OH, it was "Sweet Child O' Mine," and it went down horribly lmao. Could you handle being married to the last person you kissed?  That's the plan, buddy. Do you crack your knuckles?  No. How do you react when people sing “happy birthday” to you in a restaurant?  Get really shy and look down, but can't help but smile. Ever been shot by a paintball gun?  No. Have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?  Yes. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent?  The first. Have you ever tried Nutella?  I love that shit. Are there any activities which are “meant for children” that you still enjoy?  Yeah, movies, shows, games... Is there anything you wish you had started doing when you were younger that would have had an impact on or would have helped you with your life today?  Yeah.  I should've worked on social skills way sooner.  I should've fought back younger. Can you read lips?  Not at all. Are you part of any online communities? If so, which ones, and how did you get involved in them?  Only really KM, and because I've been in the meerkat RP community since '05. When vacuuming, do you have a set pattern or do you go willy-nilly?  Somewhat of a pattern. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. Who’s your favorite Muppet?  I don't have one. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc, horror films, stories, or myths, whatever)  Probably the Jersey Devil or Mothman.  Or the Dover Demon.  I like cryptozoological stuff okay. Have you ever considered shaving your head? Have you shaved it?  Noooooo. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person?  Yeah, at zoos. What’s your favorite school yard game? (4-Square, Kick the Can, etc)  I think it was called 4-Square... but I'm not sure. Have you ever boycotted anything?  No. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?  Um you have no idea. Are you against smoking weed?  Yeah tbh.  However I know there's lots of evidence coming out proving some of its medical uses, but I'm still kinda.  Unsure about medical marijuana. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about your feelings?  Sara. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?  Jason. Who were you dating this time last year?  Girt. Have you ever smoked pot?  I've only ever been in the presence of people smoking it. Are your ears gauged?  No. Have you ever played beer pong?  No. Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend or boyfriend?  I sure hope so. Would you hug your ex again?  A couple I would. Do you like to climb trees?  I wouldn't know. Name your three closest friends.  Sara, Colleen, then probably Alex?  Although she hasn't been talking to me lately. What is the best kind of Girl Scout cookie?  I loved the chocolate and PB ones. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  To a degree, I like it.  Shows they really do care. What kind of jelly do you buy?  Grape. Is your dad overweight?  He's underweight. Do you know all the words to “Don’t Trust Me” by 3oh!3?  I don't feel like playing it in my head but maybe 'cuz that song was my shit. What movies have you cried to?  Oh yeesh, I'm a fucking baby.  The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Old Yeller, Logan, The Outsiders, Titanic, The Hunger Games (I think), and how could I almost forget Forrest Gump.  I knoooow there's more tho. Do you love substitute teachers?  No.  We would sit around doing nothing. Does your personality generally fall in line with gender stereotypes?  Not really? What’s your favorite movie soundtrack?  Off the top of my head, maybe Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows. If you could own any 3 fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show)  I legitimately want to commission someone to make a wooden model of Lord Emon's mask from Shadow of the Colossus.  I want so much SotC stuff, but shit expensive man.  Ummm having the Seal of Metatron from SH3 would be an awesome lil collectable.  OH YEAH and why the hell not have a hearthstone from WoW so I can go home in a jiffy whenever I want. :'D How far away do you live from the last place you lived?  Like... 10-15 minutes? Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services?  No. You’re in a food court, what do you feel like eating?  Pizza, probably. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk?  Yes, my younger sister.  She legit tried to go outside, but I obviously stopped her (I was the only one in the room). Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced?  Yes, and I would if I didn't have a damn retainer. If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick?  I'd move in with Sara any day. How does alcohol affect you?  Okay so I handle alcohol extremely well so I've never seen serious changes... but I do know if I'm tipsy, I'm more talkative and outgoing.  I don't think my face flushes anymore. When was the last time you had a cold or flu?  Holy shit I couldn't tell you for a cold.  I've never had the flu, thankfully. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation?  Girt and I watched a few episodes.  It wasn't bad, but the fact still stands that I can't really get into TV. What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Typical spaghetti and meatballs. What color is your shampoo?  Pink. Is there a special someone in your life right now?  Yes. If so, tell me your favorite thing about their personality and their looks:  She's strong as fuck and her smile's to die for. Ever made a guy cry?  Yeah. Has a guy ever made you cry?  For over a year straight lmao. What’s the worst goodbye you’ve ever had to say?  To Jason. What make up product do you never use? It'd be easier to tell you only what I do use.  I only ever wear eyeliner and then sometimes eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, and very rarely foundation. What is one place you have been to and hated?  Uhhhh idk. Have you ever seen a jellyfish?  In aquariums, yes.  So majestic. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else?  No. Were you ever chased by an animal?  Only pets playfully. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else?  Omfg I did this a good number of months back at the tat parlor and the embarrassment will stay with me forever. Name one person of the same sex as you that you wouldn’t mind dating? Okay so I'm not gonna be a smartass and say "my girlfriend," I'll actually answer this as if we weren't together.  I'd date Suzy Hanson in a heartbeat, come at me Arin.  Fuckin sweetheart. Do you know any vegans?  No. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Sara: Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Buster, Mabel, Doris.  Idk the toads' and fishes' names yet.  Colleen: Miracle and Maxwell. When was the last time you were disappointed?  Two or so days ago, real bad.  Mom put aside buying the concert tickets regardless of how many times I reminded her, and now we can't go. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my thing. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work?  No job. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?  Probably at least engaged.  Maybe married.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #54

“girls are not supposed to fight dirty, never look a day past 30.”

have you ever witnessed a birth?   for humans, no, but cats, yes. do you buy eggnog around the holidays?   this was the first year i tried it.  fucking gross. do you know any one who lives in california?   no friends, but i mean i've "met" some people online who live there. have you ever been told you were a good writer?   that's one of the most common compliments i get. have you ever been on a farm?   yes.  ashley had a friend who lived at one. what are you listening to?   "girls" by marina and the diamonds.  i love her voice so much. are you one to take naps?   every day, yeah.  makes me feel lazy occasionally, but then i remind myself naps are good for you. did you ever have braces?   for too long, yes.  i had them so long that my bottom teeth went in too far; we couldn't afford to take them out.  thank god they're gone now. how often do you drink monster?   never.  i don't like it. are you easy to get along with?    if you're understanding, then i honestly think i am.  i'm very tolerant of different people and try to keep my mind open.  i'm just going to be quiet. is there someone you want to let go of?   yes and no.  i feel both emotions towards jason. who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude?   my mother, i'm sure. have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you?   nope. does your bedroom door lock?   yeah. the last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner?   i never use conditioner.  it adds oil back into your hair. has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t?   no. how old were you when you had your first kiss?   the first time a boy kissed me, i think i was 15?  first time i kissed a boy, i was 16, i think. if I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?    metallica, please! would you ever get into a long distance relationship?   i mean i guess if i really liked the person. for your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?   doughnut cake from annie's. would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?    carve pumpkins! do you believe in fairies?   nope. if you were given the chance to be immortal, would you take it?   NO. what are you tired of people telling you?   that shit will get better.  you don't know that.  some people don't get happy endings, that's just life. do you have a little sister? what’s her name?    nicole, yes. when you graduate, what color will your gown be?   when i graduated, it was an ugly red. when you were a baby, did you have a favorite blanket?   yes.  it had baby animals all over it. have you ever gotten detention?   yes, for too many tardies. why do you hate your ex?   who says i hate him? do you like the color orange?   yup. whose hoodie did you wear last?   my own.  it has pikachu sleeping on it and says "current mood."  it's super cute. do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like?   if i'm being rational, yes.  if i let my depression and whatnot make the decision, no. what was the last game you won?   probably a replay of a "silent hill" game. what is your favorite thing about concerts?   THE HYPE.  the sheer excitement of everyone enjoying music is otherworldly. what is the last album you listened to all the way through?   ozzy's "black rain" i think. what is an unpopular opinion that you have?   abortion is murder, period. do you prefer space, nude, architecture, or nature photographs?   nature what was the last concert you went to?   one and only concert i've ever been to was alice cooper. describe your wallet:   it's red, black, and white with multiple artworks of harley quinn. describe your tattoos:   my first was a semicolon butterfly.  second was "perfectly flawed" (reference to an otep song).  third was "ohana" and half of a heart. describe your piercings:   two in each earlobe, right tragus, left cartilage, right side of nose. what do you like most about your body?   uhhhh.  i am not fond of my body.  i guess i like my slim wrists and long, slim fingers. how many fillings do you have?   hell if i know. describe your fashion:   if i had the money (and permission from my mother, as she buys my clothes, rip) i would absolutely dress gothic.  it's my aesthetic, big time.  gothic clothes just tend to be very expensive.  i also love graphic tees, and in general tend to look geekish. do you wear a watch?   nope. are you a vegetarian?   no. do you think meat is murder?   i mean, technically, yeah, but at the same time, i don't think it's wrong. your view on drinking:   do it responsibly, and we're fine. your view on pornography:   fucking gross. your view on pre-marital sex:   i really don't know anymore??  i was and i guess i still am abstinent, but i question it.  like the main reason i'm abstinent is because of religious reasons, but after all, half the old testament was forgiven by jesus' coming, yada yada yada, it may not even be "wrong" anymore.  besides that, i just really, really love(d) jason.  now i'm going to regret for the rest of my life the fact i didn't let him fully get to know me in every way possible.  if he, by some god-given miracle, comes back, i'm leaving my abstinence at my feet.  whether it's wrong or right.  because i'll sin for that man. have you ever slept in a water bed?   yeah. how do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period?   i personally wouldn't.  sounds messy. how do you feel about anal sex?   ew. does your ex have a job?    yup. share 3 nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for.   OH MY GOD, only three?  i'll try to narrow it down to the best, this may take awhile.  1.) dancing in the headlights of his car in my front yard to "stairway to heaven"  2.) me storming into his kitchen to playfully tell him off, only to slide on the floor and land on my ass; we laughed/sobbed for like ten minutes  3.) us lying on his floor, binge-watching "supernatural" while he was moving into his new room, and it ended in him seeing me naked for the first time and still treating me like i was beautiful. tell me about the person you had your first kiss with. how do you feel about that person now?   you want a novel, fam? how old were you when you entered your first relationship?   idk the age, i just know i was in the 7th grade. are there any songs you can’t listen to because they remind you of someone/something?   yup. do you have a tumblr crush?   nah. have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment?   no, and though i don't judge people who do worry about commitment (jason was at the beginning of our relationship when i asked him what his biggest fear was), i don't understand it.  like... it's not a hard concept.  don't commit, ex. get married to a person, if you see any potential issue. has anyone of the opposite sex seen you at your worst?   yep. would you live with someone without marrying them first?   i have before, and i'd do it again. do you believe your most recent ex still thinks about you?   i honestly don't know.  it'd be nice, but i don't know if he truly does. have you ever kissed someone while they were driving?   jesus christ do i want to die? what would you do if your best friend went after your ex the day after you split?   LMAAOOOOOO DON'T. have you ever self harmed?   yup. do you have a birthmark? if so, where?   actually no, i think. were your parents married when you were born?   yeah. when you need to vent, who do you turn to?   mom, usually. do you get a lot of tourists in the area where you live? if so, are there more tourists during a particular time of the year?   i don't think i've EVER seen someone obviously a tourist here, because this part of north carolina ain't shit??? what's the strangest or most interesting compliment you've ever received?   hm, not entirely sure. when you're upset, do you tend to make rash decisions?   YUP. do you prefer to shop online or in an actual store, and why?   online, definitely.  i just tend to find more variety. do you enjoy watching vlogs? if so, are there any specific people or topics you enjoy watching in particular?   yeah, they're all right.  like when pokemon go came out, i particularly got interested in three vlogers of the subject (trainer tips, ali-a, and lachlan).  pretty sure there are other vlogers i watch occasionally, i'm not sure... what was the last new video game you were excited about?   THE LAST GUARDIAN OMG what band/singer do you listen to the most?   i mean it really does depend on my mood and if i've discovered a new artist or not. what’s your favorite quote?   i have SO MANY.  i guess i can pick one that applies most/means most to me, though: "harleen, what did he tell you?" "he said he loved me" from suicide squad.  i nearly broke down in the theater when she said that 'cuz if that ain't me like holy shit.  a very simple quote, but it carries SO MUCH WEIGHT. have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you?   for less than a day, if you even count him. how old is your best friend?   21. do you like writing papers for english classes?   i honestly didn't mind it.  give me a subject, and i can usually write, hunny. don’t edited versions of songs annoy you?   they tend to, yes. if your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?   without saying a word to me?  i'd either a.) slap him or b.) grab his face and kiss him back.  lmao i know, totally opposite ends of the spectrum, but.  i really don't know which would come first. is your best friend dating anyone?   she's married. do you like lady gaga or does she try too hard?   as a person, she's wildly unique, which i have great respect for.  as an artist, i, surprisingly, like a couple of her songs. where did you last wear a bathing suit?   the beach. have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?   i've said this before in another survey: is that not prom?  it's not like i'd go everyday in a big, extravagant dress.  the other day as well, i didn't dress unlike myself, but i seriously did it up because i thought i'd be "running into" jason, so. if you were offered to smoke some weed right now would you accept?   idk, probably not. have you ever done something outrageously dumb?   sure have. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?   yep. do you go to the mall on friday nights?   no, because i don't want to get shot. do you listen to country music?   only when i'm with colleen. who is your best guy friend?   my only two guy friends period are really sam and girt, and i don't want to pick between them. have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like?   no. do you shave your legs?   yeah.  i personally would feel too self-conscious revealing my legs if they weren't shaved. has a boy ever spent the night at your house?   plenty of times. who was the last person to sleep over?   chelsea. do you forward the chain letters in your email?   absolutely not. are you on birth control?   yes, but only for my period cramps. do your parents use social media? if so, which ones?   my mom has a facebook. do you and your last ex hate each other?   after that "yeah, no" the other day, pretty sure he hates me.  there's no way in hell i could ever hate him. have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?   longer than that. do you collect anything?   meerkat stuff.  silent hill merchandise.  band stuff.  jaybird feathers. do you have any nieces or nephews? describe them.   aubree is very lively, but can be shy.  she loves minnie mouse and dory.  ryder is just a baby, so doesn't have much of a personality, really.  at least that i can detect. when was the last time you were sick?   now, actually.  my throat is killing me. can you handle a lot of drama?   NO NO NO NO NO. when you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry?   nope.  i didn't even want to marry as a kid. have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?   not to my knowledge.  i mean jason had low self-esteem, but he was not mentally ill. are flea markets trashy?   in general, no.  any store though can be trashy.  but generally, no, they're great.  you can find great deals. when you get nervous, does it show physically (i.e shaky hands)?   yes.  i sweat, i quiver, i play with my hands... tell me one unique quality about your own handwriting.   it's a mix of cursive and print. when was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why?   when colleen implied i wasn't trying hard enough in regards to my depression, anxiety, etc.  i nearly walked out her door. what qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship?   well i mean apparently being mentally ill is a fucking issue.  like i can help it. what sort of conditions do you require in order for you to fall asleep?   have the fan on (usually), have the television on but on silent. do you have a favorite punk band?   green day for sure. as far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers?   having kids already, doing drugs, drinking excessively... i've got a number. what’s your favorite mythical being?   dragons if you’re a girl, what’s your bra size?   d-something will you go to your senior prom?   i already did. do you make fun of people who play magic: the gathering or yu-gi-oh! cards?   i've never understood this shit, like, why ridicule someone for enjoying cards?  are we as humans truly that petty?  besides that, magic is like jason's biggest passion, so i'd be making fun of him if i had an issue with it.  he got me to play it occasionally, too, and it's kinda fun.  just damn, this question's got me irritated.  who the fuck has a problem with cards. got a lot of deep, depressing poetry and artwork stashed?   don't find my dA pls ever attempted suicide or self-mutilated yourself?   yeah. what’s the last movie you rented?   "blaire witch" has anyone ever hacked your accounts before?    i allowed my former best friend megan to hack my old youtube once and she allowed me to hack hers so we could put one of those lovey-dubby letters on each other's pages, ha.  have i ever been seriously hacked, no. what was the last thing you ordered online?   a shirt and flip-flops from hottopic where did your last kiss take place?   at my house, odds are, from jason dropping me off. do you reveal a lot about yourself online? are you careful about not revealing too much? would you say you reveal more about yourself than others seem to do?   i do, and i mean i'm cautious with some things, like i won't share my last name, address, stuff like that.  i'd say i reveal just about as much as the other survey takers i read. if you're interested in fashion, what inspires your style most? do you look to celebrities or other famous people for inspiration?   i'm not interested in fashion at all.  i don't care what's "in" and whatnot, i just wear either what is comfortable or i find aesthetically pleasing. is there anything you feel pressured to do by a certain age (i.e. get married)?   honestly?  yeah.  society and family history makes me think i should either already be married or get so within the next like five years and have kids before 30. have you ever lived in a mobile home?   no. friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it?   no, honestly. animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out?   i like watching large spiders.  emphasis on "watching." have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral?   yup. scariest driver you’ve ridden with?   my dad that one day he was really pissed off, picking nicole and i up from school.  i legitimately thought i was going to die.  he was running red lights, passing illegally... have you/do you plan to go to college?   i am in college, but i am sincerely contemplating dropping out.  things aren't going well. have you ever dated someone named kyle?   no, but i had a crush on a kyle in high school. do you think greasy hair is a turn off?   it's definitely not a turn on.  in interest of my significant other's health, i'd want you to take a shower if your hair was greasy. your computer crashes, deletes EVERYTHING, can you survive?   lmao pls don't tell me about the last time you had sex?   i've never had sex, just done sexual things.  it's been over a year since i've "done anything" though, so i couldn't tell you about the last time. what is your biggest mistake in life?   letting my depression literally consume me to the point it made the love of my fucking life fall out of love with me. what was the last thing you drank?   some strawberry fruit juice.