#then there’s the whole body issue
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Everyone in the league knows about Eddie Munson. He has the makings of a great pitcher, except for the fact that his slider has a 75% chance of sliding too high and his fastballs mostly end up in the dirt. His technique is wild, flailing, unrestrained. Which is why Steve is beside himself when he learns about the trade.
The owners, they think that Steve being the best catcher in the league means he can work with Eddie, settle him, make him a real prospect. Steve's input isn't needed with the decision already made, but Munson--with all his tattoos piercings and leather--looks like he'd rather hock a loogie at Steve than take directions from him.
And Steve is the best in the league, the glue that keeps the team together. They're a well-oiled machine, and Eddie is--Eddie is a squeaky wheel.
They meet for the first time, briefly, in the locker room. He's seen the guy before, of course, but now, like this, he can't help but be intrigued by his pale skin and long curls and brown doe-eyes, his lightly muscled frame. And they're in the locker room, Eddie with just a towel around his waist, exposing his toned chest and stomach and the black swirl of his tattoos.
"Steve Harrington!" Eddie reaches out a hand. "Great to meet you, man."
"You too. Excited to have you with us." The handshake is quick and firm and Steve is trying not to be surprised about how excited and genuine the guy sounds, keep his mind away from thinking of how Eddie is naked aside from the towel.
With only a few weeks until the start of the regular season, Eddie starts pitching to Steve. And Steve, he so expects Eddie to fight and grumble and refuse, that his head sort of spins when, on the first day, Eddie claps him on the back with his glove, says, "where do you want me, cap?" and that's that.
He wants to say that they dislike each other, that they're a bad fit, that Eddie is full himself and refuses constructive criticism.
Instead.
Instead it's easy.
Eddie doesn't complain, doesn't argue, just watches Steve, learns him, takes his advice and notes and implements them as much as he can. They like each other, have an easy rapport, get each other. He's tight with all the pitchers, but Eddie is different. They settle each other.
They're best friends. They hangout constantly. And he doesn't have a crush; he doesn't. It would be unprofessional. They're best friends.
But sometimes, sometimes he thinks he catches Eddie looking at him. It's impossible. Of course it's impossible. Eddie couldn't be into the guy Sports Illustrated called "baseball's Ralph Lauren model" in the intro to Steve's Body Issue photo spread. And it doesn't matter one way or the other because Steve won't make a move. He won't jeopardize the team like that.
They don't touch. He touches everyone on the team, often, and Eddie particularly is a physical guy, but aside from that first handshake, he keeps his distance. Steve's afraid--even though it's silly, he's afraid--that once they start touching, he won't be able to stop, and he can't let that happen.
The team is good, competing for first place in the National League. Eddie's success has made everyone else better.
It's late July, they're in first place in the league, and Eddie's pitching a perfect game. There's only been 24 perfect games thrown in the history of Major League Baseball, but it's the eighth inning and Eddie's doing it.
A pitch goes wild, veers high over the umpire's head. Eddie's shaken, Steve can tell with how his fist tightens compulsively around the ball. The next pitch swings wide, towards the batter's knees.
The count is at 2 balls, no strikes, and he can see, even from behind home plate Steve can see, that Eddie's losing it. He heads for the mound, refuses to let it end like this. He closes the distance between them, has a quick internal debate before he puts his hand on Eddie's lower back. They've never touched, this is it, this is--warmth bleeds from Eddie's skin, through the fabric of his jersey, goes straight to Steve's head.
Eddie frowns. "I don't think I--"
"You're going to do it, Ed. I know. I can feel it." He pats his chest, over his heart. "It's gonna happen."
Eddie's breathing settles and it's only then that Steve realizes he's rubbing circles into Eddie's back with his thumb. He's not sure when he started, doesn't want to stop, loves being able to feel.
"Okay," Eddie says.
"Okay."
Steve removes his hand, heads back to home, still tingling with the warmth of Eddie's body even as he crouches behind the plate.
He closes out the inning with three definitive strike outs. The crowd goes wild.
They take the field for the top of the 9th, the crowd is screaming, ready for this, the energy zipping through every player on the field.
It goes by in a blur. Nine pitches. Eddie's perfect game is wrapped up in nine phenomenal pitches.
As the ump calls the last out, there's a moment of complete and utter quiet in the stadium, Steve's heart a pounding hum in his ears, before pandemonium breaks loose. There's screaming, fireworks, someone is crying--
All he can see is Eddie. Eddie's who's thrown his glove to the dirt, is barreling towards him with a triumphant smile bright on his face. Steve stands, runs to close the distance. He sees the moment that Eddie decides to jump into his arms, catches him easily--will always catch him--but his legs are tired and the momentum gets him, sends them tumbling back into the grass.
They're both yelling, laughing, smiling hard enough to hurt. Eddie's hair has fallen out if its tie, tumbling around his shoulders, and Steve gazes at him, can't help it, in this moment can admit that he's so, so astronomically in love.
It's only then Steve realizes that the laughter's stopped, that Eddie's gazing back. Brown eyes shining bright with happiness, cheeks flushed pink, lips parted. Thoughtless, he reaches up to caress Eddie's cheek.
The team reaches them, streaming around them, yanking Eddie and Steve to their feet. The celebration stretches around them, the moment slipping away. He wants to finish what they started but there are interviews, champagne showers, congratulations, that keep them apart. Sometimes, from across the room, their eyes meet, and there's heat there that's new, that sparks something low in Steve's gut.
Hours pass, and finally he finds himself alone in the locker room. He's just pulled on his t-shirt when the door shuts behind him. He spins, finds Eddie, waiting, watching.
He crosses the room without a word, can't not, not now, not after everything. They grapple for a second, the wanting so strong that it takes a second to settle, to find each other. They kiss hard, desperate, seething with desire.
Steve hopes it never ends and it doesn't, just tapers into soft kisses, gentle nips. He can't bring himself to step away.
"Is this for real ?" Eddie whispers.
"I've been insane about you since the trade."
Eddie's smile is blinding. "I used to have those pictures of you--the ones with the little red shorts?--in my locker in the minors. Feel like I'm living in a dream right now."
It lights him up inside, knowing that Eddie wants him, has wanted him. "Let me take you home and show you just how real it is?"
He snorts, but his dimples deepen, eyes shining. "What a line, sweetheart."
"Yeah well, the baseball field isn't the only place where I hit home runs."
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#baseball au#teammates to lovers#ficlet#fluff#first kiss#feelings confession#steve thinks he'll hate eddie but he just falls in love with him instead#pitcher eddie munson#catcher steve harrington#i had this idea a month ago and forgot about it#dom/sub undertones in the way that what if steve gently doms eddie into pitching better#what if steve modeled for SI's body issue and what if eddie is obsessed with him the whole time#really playing fast and loose with how major league baseball works
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Prompt 241
Wing au? Wing Au. With perhaps a bit of a twist. Also a hint of eldritchness perhaps. For fun!
Ghosts have wings. Sure, they aren’t normally seen, not in the visible spectrum, but they do. Scanners pick them up, and sometimes a ghost might even reveal them, which was hypothesized to be some sort of animalistic intimidation attempt. (Something more than one Amity Parker rolled their eyes at)
Everyone had seen them at least once- the motorcycle-driving ghost’s mass of shadowy feathers, the green-haired girls matching shaggy ones, the rocker’s ones that looked like pages of music before bursting into flame. Even the box ghost’s had been spotted- feathers looking more like sheets of cardboard than anything else.
It wasn’t until the whole kidnapped to the ghost zone that anyone saw Phantom’s, but that was another tale unto itself really. Honestly the arrival of the GIW would have maybe been seen as positive before, but the fact that many of them had looked in the mirror or gone to the doctors only to find feathers beginning to sprout on their back soured it.
Especially as the GIW continues to prattle on and on about how all ecto-contaminated scum are less than human, less than bacteria. And well, what does that make them? Them, who have been to the realms of the dead and gods and back, touched by the swirling green energy in ways incomprehensible? Changed by that energy?
So the people silently brush hidden feathers together, quietly rebuff the white-wearing lunatics from the city as best they can, and hope to anything listening that they can stop anyone else from disappearing. That maybe they can find the few no one noticed had been taken before it’s too late, even if they have to tear down the entire government to do it.
#Prompts#Wing Au#DCxDP#DPxDC#Guys in White#Might write drabble for this later to better describe Danny’s wings#Liminal Amity Park#Imagine a whole city of winged people not exactly in a hive mind#But able to silently communicate via feelings/cores without even looking at each other#JL Dark finally got through the issues they were having to finally be able to investigate Amity Park#No one in Amity ever really called JL since trying to call the normal authorities failed#And well now there’s government people here and it Isn’t Good so…#Vlad might get an early redemption#Danny is not ghost king#Space Core Danny#Ghost Cores’ elements and Obsessions have effects on their wings#Why yes Vlad has a few well-hidden heart patterns on the underside of his#Amity Park can’t hide their wings because they all have living/physical bodies and most don’t have invisibility powers#Why yes it feels like an undeath fae city full of sirens and necromancers to any magic user#Very much something They do Not want people to mess with#Honestly with the whole No Wishing & other things w/ Amity it definitely could pass for some sort of fae-descended city
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@deathnotetober Day 31: Trick or Treat
Halloween at the Lawlight house doesn't go quite as smoothly this year. They might get "tricked."
Light: If they T.P. our house this year, you're cleaning it up! >:(
L: *no regrets* .__. *would like to see Light try and make him*
#drawn by me#my fancomic#deathnotetober#deathnotetober2024#trick or treat#Light Yagami#L#Death Note#Halloween#implied lawlight#they live together#Ryuk#Ryuk providing floaty effects#gave him Haunter hands because I didn't feel like drawing his whole body~#drawn at work#I had an easy job at work last night and was able to crank out this and a few other drawings~#smaller paper but oh well~#tw: food issues#candy#apples
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i think it would have been funny if tim, after discovering his bisexuality and thinking that was the 'unique feature' he brought to his iteration of robin, mentioned this to the rest of batfam, only to find out they've all been some degree of queer this whole time.
#jason would be bewildered#and then has to ask tim how he DIDNT know. because jason's pretty notorious for having boyfriends that cause issues for the family business#ie: having them all on social lockdown for WEEKS after jason decided his current relationship was serious enough for him to reveal#himself as robin... he broke up with that guy less than a month later#and dick never let him live it down#and then they have to have the bruce conversation with him#which pretty much shocks tim beyond what he thought his body was capable of handling#“i thought.. he just didn't ever have a girlfriend because of the whole batman thing?????”#dick would recount it to bruce later on and he'd just sigh#this is all in my head again guys ignore me#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#nightwing#red hood#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#robin#dc comics#dc#gothihop speaks
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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#txt#i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be#like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything#but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring#i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk#like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence#I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though#and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it#just like jen getting her powers back could have been more#or billy standing up for agatha could have been more#billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too#I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now#like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well#while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode#honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more#and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue#i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just#like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively#and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was#needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead#i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk
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people rightly criticize how team 7 reacted to sasuke's pursuit of justice for his clan, but one thing i feel is always overlooked in these discussions is how sakura literally is not granted the option by the narrative to learn about what sasuke has been through — not in the way that naruto, kakashi, or even team taka are. throughout all of part 2, she is operating under the assumption that sasuke killed itachi and then turned on the village for no apparent reason.
in part 1, she offers to help sasuke with his plan to kill itachi and even says she'll come with him so he won't have to handle a clearly dangerous and unstable sannin alone. she tells him she wishes he would be more open with her because she wants to understand what he's going through. (all of this stands in stark contrast to naruto, who says he'll break every bone in sasuke's body to bring him back, or kakashi, who projects his own traumas on to sasuke.) then in part 2, she can't bring herself to hurt him despite ample opportunity and even though (as far as she knows) he's become a violent criminal. throughout the series, she's averse to inflicting harm on others (aside from the punching naruto gag). is it really so unreasonable to imagine that if she knew sasuke was avenging the state-sponsored genocide of his clan, she would respond differently? with more empathy and compassion for his circumstances, and anger of her own towards konoha?
#people never factor this into their sakura discussions and it does upset me#like no offence but no one raised in konoha is going to have a political awakening where they realize how awful the system is#without some major catalyst (ie what happened to sasuke's clan) and she never gains access to that information#it's also been pointed out that her speech to him at tvote2 is really stupid and like. i agree#but if all she knows about the situation is from naruto and kakashi @ sasuke saying he's given into hate or whatever#of course that is going to be her response? like what else would she even say. she doesn't know what's going on LMAO😭#don't get me wrong i think in canon (pt1-2) their relationship has a whole body of issues but a bunch of them are intrinsically tied to thi#uchiha sasuke#haruno sakura#sasusaku#this is not really a shipping post but that's my tag for their relationship in any form sorryyy#naruto meta
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I'd say the 'aware of loss of faculties until they aren't' description is apt, but with less of the horror that most humans experience with this knowledge. Units have a sense of personhood, but archin do not tend to philosophically imagine a 'self'. Their consciousness being an emergent property of many interacting bodies kind of precludes the illusion of some core, unchanging individual essence.
The basic experience of being divided is something every unit would have been through, an entire unit is not in literal constant communication and will temporarily divide itself even down to the individual to perform simple tasks (though always with the comfort of scent trails leading back to the collective).
It would still be unsettling and a source of deep melancholy. The pain would be more knowing that there is no going back, the scent trails lead nowhere, there are no more eggs being laid that will replace the parts of you that die or are separated. You would increasingly struggle with abstract concepts and complex ideas, the edges of your personality would slowly be smoothed out, you are increasingly running on raw instinct. You remember everything, but without any way to organize these memories into anything more than flashes. Most of the pain would be a profound sense of loneliness.
How a merger would feel would depend on how much of the unit remains. If its personality is more or less intact, it will probably survive as the same 'person' (mergers are usually accomplished with recently pupated ants, or by taking a few individuals from many units so as not to disrupt other consciences). If it's down to just a few ants, any remnant of the original personality will be lost upon the merger and they will settle into the new personality (perhaps subtly changing it, as all units do over time, but not in a distinct, easily identifiable way). The only thing that remains of the former unit is their raw memory. Even individual archin have very good memories and their learned experiences will supplement the new consciousness with everything it has experienced. So the new merger might learn and 'remember' the pain of loss, though not in a complex way (complex memories, like being able to tell a story, are stored in the collective and not the individual).
Mergers between roughly equal numbers of ants are rare and only done in desperation due to being incredibly disruptive to the personality of each, and a very literal danger that individual archin will become panicked and attack the 'foreign' bodies. A large ratio is ideal so one side has enough of an intact group consciousness to tamp down these impulses, and ability to physically restrain the other side until they have calmed and accommodated to the new scent. All mergers have risks of aggression, but introducing similar numbers is especially risky and sometimes fails entirely due to too many being killed in the process.
#Mergers in general are really tricky and have to be done with great care so as not to be destructive#inter-colony interactions are almost always done in full units because singular archin will likely become hostile and kill foreign bodies#if not restrained by calming chemical signals from the collective mind#For a merger to be (almost) completely safe it has to be done with the assistance of a full unit from each source colony to#supplement that calming effect until any aggressive impulse will have dwindled and their scents are thoroughly integrated#Even then pretty much every merger results in the deaths of at least a couple individuals. It's kind of just part of the deal and#(depending on the unit size) they can lose anything between like 1-20 individuals at once without having any significant effects#Intracolony mergers don't have this issue though and the only real risk is disrupting personality and skillsets and complex memory#Though memory is less of an issue (unless very new and recent memories are at stake) because units gradually distribute their#complex memories to the whole colony#archin#EDIT: I missed part 2 of your comment but this sort of answers part of it? I'll add the rest in a reply probably tomorrow
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horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is
probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it
#imagine being starved and then you hang out with two guys who make food dangerous#imagine the dread. the rational part of his mind telling him not to eat it but his instincts are so so so hungry#horror eats the food because it genuinely looks so good but he knows he just fucked up#they make eachother so SO worse........ they are SO bad for eachother its amazing#and horror probably can't cook all that well too so he definitely needs to learn which is a whole other struggle with his eating issues#MAKE THEM BREAK UP ALREADY THEY CAUSE TOO MUCH SUFFERING FOR EACH OTHER 💔💔💔#sorry triglycercule but no 🧡 they deserve to suffer together as retribution for everything they did#sometimes i feel like this angry torturous mtt that all hate eachother is a bit too ooc#but then again..... god is it so fun to come up with ideas for the mtt to hurt eachother#its so delicious 🧡 like dust's poisoned food! horror eats more because it tastes so good#but he can feel the poison kicking in. he can feel his body slowly start to ache and his movements slow as he eats more and more#and soon he can't move. he's paralyzed and in pain in this flower field with dust#and as he starts to pass out he reaches his hand out a bit for dust. just for the smallest bit of comfort#horror's absolutely furious at him for poisoning him but dust still holds his hand back#dust holds horror in his arms with a smile as they lay in the flower field enjoying the moment#as if you didn't just fucking poison the fuck but whatever that's horrordust for you!#dont worry horror gets him back by stealing papyrus's scarf and ripping some of it off to wear in front of dust#he sews a little patch of the scarf onto his jacket and dust is staring at that shit. that is a TAUNT#yeah this is papyrus's scarf. what are you gonna do about me ripping some of it huh? poison me AGAIN???#theyve all grown tolerances for different poisons because the mtt genuinely cannot stop trying to kill eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#god i struggle to differentiate because hc and rant so much because i swap around and change hcs so frequently that there isnt consistency#ive now decided that rants MUST be substantially longer and less put together to be a rant and not a hc. and that shall be DECREED#utmv#sans au
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if i hear one more person unironically identifying themself as afab or amab I'm gonna start biting
#theres times where it's useful to delineate (e.g. talking about the ways nb people are treated depending on which sex they're assumed to be#born with)#(tho i would argue that it's not agab per se but rather assumed current sex)#but PLEASE can i stop seeing people earnestly calling themselves ''afab nonbinary''#OR ALSO implying that they have some innate understanding of womanhood based on how they were raised#I've come across a bunch of nonbinary spaces online#where it's maybe 90% self-identified afab people#and they always have this undertone of ''well‚ we're not women‚ but we Understand™️ by virtue of our assigned sex''#which‚ maybe it's just me‚ but it always implies that trans women & transfems somehow are barred from understanding misogyny#bc of the fact that they were raised as boys & don't have the right body parts#(the ''''right'''' body parts lemme be clear)#um yeah basically my whole issue with it (other than that it's basically recreating the gender binary‚ including the ''inexorably tied to#biological sex'' part)#is that it misgenders transmascs & trans men (me lol thats why i get angy abt it) by implying we have some sort of inherent connection to#womanhood by virtue of our sex at birth#and also feeds into the exact thing that terfs like to say; that trans women will never really understand sexism & that they're interlopers#bc they ''are amab'' / ''are male fakers''#anyway.#o.#trans#transsexual#transgender#afab#amab#agab#transphobia#transmisogyny#<- these guys mostly for the stuff in the tags in case people have those blocked & don't wanna hear me talking abt it#transmasc#transfem
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I think about The Seige of AR-558 all the time. It's probably one of my absolute favourite ds9 episodes (along with In Purgatory's Shadow and By Inferno's Light which can not be topped) that one part where Julian is treating the wounds of one of the star fleet officers who've been essentially abandoned in this war zone and the officer is clearly so deeply traumatised by his experiences there is one of the most poignant moments in the entire show to me. The dialogue is so good and it really reminds you that this is an actual war theyre having, not just some flashy space battle where the good guys win and then everything is fine- it's had lasting impacts on these people who star fleet is meant to protect but really they send out a group of officers to a planet and then leave them there for months longer than they were supposed to be and so utterly do not care about these people because they see them as disposable. Even after Sisko and the ds9 crew realised how awful the conditions were everyone was expected to stay there - a position too important to the federation for them to let these people go home but not important enough for them to send backup or replacement officers (I though Quarks presence in the episode was really good as well for providing a perspective of someone not in StarFleet and a lot of the things he said about human nature and the actions of the federation really reflected how I was feeling about it as well haha)
Also the music was really good
(Edit if you want to hear more of my take on star fleet corruption I have put it in the tags)
#ferry yaps#ds9#star trek#deep space nine#can you tell I'm the number one star fleet hater#star fleet and their lack of a moral backbone continues to bother me#they're so willing to let atrocities and clear breaches of basic human (and like. alien) rights if it's convenient to them#they do it with section 31 and they do it with how they treat their officers#even my favourite characters are not immune to this like Sisko's whole 'I can live with it'#at the end of In The Pale Moonlight#makes perfect sense for his character and is a good dialogue on what lines people are willing to cross#for what they perceive to be the 'greater good'#which mirrors pretty closely the philosophies of Section 31#which Sisko condemns#despite the fact that when it comes down to it he'd do the same thing as them#and that's an issue with a lot of Star fleet's command body as a whole#they're in this environment where the prosperity of the federation is held above all else#including ethics a lot of the time#so they almost feel like they're allowed (encouraged?) to push moral boundaries to ensure that prosperity remains#which leads to an overall tendency towards corruption in star fleet command#which happens very frequently#I have more to say but I don't want to put it in tags holdon I'm gonna reblog this
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While I love Jack and do think Alexander Calvert did a truly amazing job playing him and the fact he looks a little like Misha is adorabel.
but I do think that we were robbed from how astronomical the following seasons could have been if Jack was a girl.
#but I'm also glad they didn't cause they would have probably somehow fucked it up in the most sexist way possible#like they've already confirmed in universe that god is a little sexist and I'd wager that rubbed off a little bit atleast on lucifer#the fact that the whole world would have been looking for another boy saviour of course they would be#it would complicate her relationships with everyone#like looking at her would be a constant reminder to Castiel of all the ways failed he failed claire#it would take him so much longer to fully come to all his complex feelings about Jack being his daughter#because then he'd have to acknowledge the little girl he already abandoned#that he is in the stolen body of a father who already had a daughter who is still alive and rightfully hates him#Not to even mention chuck and all the issues he already had with Amara the only powerful female presence he really has in his life and she#and she was stronger than his and that more than anything is probably what got to him and then he'd have to face Jack#another woman who might be stronger than him and I think that would drive him crazy#he's see so much of Amara in her and it would make him violent#not to talk about the winchesters like what do they do with that?#they barely know how to be men how do they raise a woman?#supernatural#god if she was blonde? like their mother and claire? It would ruin them.#lucifer spn#spm#jack kline#rule 63#rule 63 spn#chuck shurley#castiel#castiel novak#claire novak#alexander calvert#dean winchester#sam winchester#spn#team free will
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youd think the whole … literally separated into two bodies would have clued people in, but apparently it isnt obvious enough that Zur isnt Bruce? And possibly isnt even based on Bruce at all? Not just in a “my own worst impulses outgrew me” way but in a “my teacher violated my consent and implanted a horrific version of my alter ego into my mind” way. Like. Hello??
#am i the only one who took this away from the final reveal or what#‘jason wouldn’t forgive bruce for what he did’ yeah ok he wouldn’t but do you think the reveal that actually bruce was being controlled#and or manipulated by someone that literally lived in his brain and could pilot his body might have changed that?? maybe???#if it was Just Bruce then yeah sure he wouldnt say that#but it wasnt. the whole point is that it wasnt and it hasnt been for some time#like since gotham war zur has been inching in and in that issue its basically stated it was mostly zur#yall will forgive anything anyone does if they aren Bruce i swear#batman spoilers#batman 148 spoilers#also this is comics. all the toys go back in the box. thats ALWAYS how it goes
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actually so low on morale.
#sami rambles#i don't think anyone without a chronic illness can understand what it's like to then get sick on top of that because like.#my flatmate who gave me this chest infection carried on with her life like it was just an annoying cough.#which i have my own issues with regarding like passing it around because she wasn't wearing a mask anywhere :/#like with my condition at least when i get sick my whole body shuts down in order to actually have enough energy to fight the bug.#but my body stops functioning the way it should#my brain slows all the way down so i can't focus on anything#so i am literally just reduced to lying in bed until i start to get better#and it's not even like i can really do work whilst lying in bed because again. brain no work!!#so im just bored and there's a thousand things i need to do but i cant focus on any of them long enough to actually do them#and even thinking about doing them feels like im thinking about taking up the mantle of sisyphus and rolling that big fucking rock#anyway. I'm going up a hill with my friends tonight to watch the fireworks and drink hot chocolate idc if it kills me
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mmm idk about making self harm into a morality issue y'all...
#saw an advice post that was like nothing you do to your body is immoral unless it's self-punishment#I get what they're trying to say I'm not gonna nitpick their wording on their own post#I fully get this is my own bias as A Cutter (OCD Style)#but that still put me off the whole rest of the post lol my cutting is a health issue not a morality one...please#personal
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Something I've been thinking a lot recently after becoming a lot more social and going out is like. How different people really LOOK in general. Or rather, I've always seen it but I've been noticing it more. Different body types, different faces, different features.... etc. Everyone is so different looking.
There isn't a way you could possibly gauge how "beautiful" someone is because everyone is so different, and everyone's perception and preferences are different. Someone who you could consider extremely handsome could have deep seated self image issues, and someone who looks unremarkable to you might be someone's ideal.
I feel like being online and constantly exposed to the same types of faces, especially the type of people who become popular online due to the appearance, they always have the same set of features, same set of body types. It's not inherently bad, people do gravitate towards them because there's beauty standards that certain people fit. But in general exposure to people who look all similar rots the brain. It rots your self image. It distances you from your own community as well.
It bleeds into how people handle their relationships, it brings prejudice to people just based on their appearance, and it sucks so much to actually like, fully consciously REALIZE. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter how they look like (this includes you btw!! Yeah you!!! <3) no matter what the media says. It sounds like something sooo obvious but it really is something that grows roots in your brain given the chance and is hard to pull out.
Feeling like you're in an arms race against your peers to "score" someone who you could pass for an instagram model, instead of finding someone who you truly connect with. Having to deeply justify your partners and friendships to your family as being worth it, when they don't look like celebrities on TV and just look like regular people. (This has been my personal experience for a long time, but I feel like theres probably more people who have gone through the same)
"What will other people think? What will my family think?" is something constantly on my mind whenever I make any friends, and im only recently realizing that it really does not matter what they do think what matters is one's own happiness.
Not sure where I am going with this post I just wanted to write it out for a few days now and I finally did it <3 have a swag day
#thunderclap#words#i just think people should live without the constant pressure of appearances both your own and your peers. its literally brainrot#everyone everywhere is so different there are a thousand faces a thousand bodies a thousand features theres eight billion people on earth#its so terrible that we are always focused on the same ones and call them beautiful when theres so much to people in general#does this make any fucking sense? god im so tired but im feeling this a lot recently. man..........#my own appearance has been both praised and degraded for years years years and its fucked up my way of perceiving people for my whole life#idk... theres so much nuance to this whole conversation ofc i cant fit it all into one (1) post#like... recently realizing my mom is to blame for like 90% of my body image issues has had me reeling. like hello.#dont get me wrong i love her but damn that family can self project their flaws needlessly on the next generation huh
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#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but#elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but#he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol#but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be#og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing.#etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color#obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha#i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes#and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes?#like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know#trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like#would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs#i mean..#Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know#i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account#of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character#also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it#so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol#tma#my art#elias bouchard#the magnus archives#some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed#for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and#assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no#there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice#i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair#my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats'#LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian#ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks
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