#then people gets confused why we love his friendship with Dick

[regret-with-a-u]

Was reading old Flash comics to figure out how to write speedsters in a fight. Then I see,

...Barry, bro, you are too funny for DC. You should be in a sitcom being silly and randomly giving flash facts.

[euseokz]

can you write friends to lovers smut for anton where they have crazy sexual tension pls🙏🏼💗

@ anton — we both want each other, why can’t we just let things go with the flow ? . cws : unprotected sex. creampie . slight size kink . big dick anton . wc : 2.0k+ . genre : smut

a/n : i hope this aligns with what you wanted nonnie ! somehow i always find myself only writing best-friend! anton whenever i write for him, and for some reason, i love it ! i just think he fits this trope so well 😮‍💨

BEST-FRIEND! ANTON who you’ve always shared some sort of sexual tension with, but that neither of you has ever acted on because you have always been afraid of what would happen if you did.

you knew it all. knew how he looked at you, how he’d look you up and down when you got more dressed up and get that little smirk on his lips, how he liked having a hand on your waist when you were in public not only in a protective way, but also because he liked to touch you, liked when people thought you were his. you knew when he was horny too, how his eyes would turn darker and his lips would twist into a sort of cocky smile, and you also knew what made him horny, what words you used and what touches you left on him that made him want to fuck you.

anton also knew all about you, you had each other all figured out, and still, somehow, had never fucked, because you were still afraid due to all the what if’s. what if that ended your friendship? what if one wanted something casual but the other wanted a proper relationship? what if having sex would completely ruin your dynamic and make things awkward? there were just too many possibilities, so you never acted on it — until it finally got to be too much and you did.

you had gone over to anton’s apartment, his roommates loudly talking about something in the next room while you two laid on his bed, close to each other but not as close as you actually wanted to be, having a conversation about whatever came up. you could feel anton’s gaze on you, almost burning into your skin. you had borrowed some clothes from him, a hoodie and a pair of shorts, something about wanting a more comfy outfit to wear instead of the one you had worn all day, and it was driving him insane. anton’s eyes couldn’t leave you, obsessed with how good his clothes looked on you, with how his already baggy hoodie looked baggier on your body, and how his shorts that usually ran just around his knees went down lower on you. you looked so good in his clothes it made him completely lose his mind, getting to a point where he was barely even listening and processing what you were saying and just ogling you. it should be uncomfortable, but somehow it also turned you on, knowing the sight of you was too much for him, that he couldn’t focus on anything but you.

maybe if you hadn’t burrowed his clothes things wouldn’t have developed the way they did, or maybe they would but it would’ve just taken a bit longer, but once you caught anton’s eyes stuck on your body for the nth time you decided you had enough, tired of being cautious and simply deciding that enough was enough, that you needed to be bold, which was what led you to blurt out the next words that came out of your mouth as if they were nothing.

“you should just fuck me if you’re gonna continue looking at me like that”

it took a moment for anton to register your words. was he hallucinating? was that the next stage of the level of horniness he was experiencing? he didn’t know, so he looked at you, a surprised but confused look spread across his features. you repeated the question, and this time he knew it was real, that he wasn’t hearing or imagining things, you had actually told him he should fuck you. his immediate response was to jump on you, but he held himself back, only turning more towards you instead, now being on his side while you still laid back against his pillows, asking you through an all too shy tone if you were sure, his shyness ridiculous taking into account his actions up until that point.

“i wouldn’t propose it if i wasn’t” you replied, a smug smile on your lips, and that was when anton finally let his instincts win and jumped on you, kissing you harder than he had ever kissed someone, cupping your cheeks in his hands with so much strength it made you wonder if he was afraid you’d slip away or vanish into thin air. his lips felt good against yours, the way he sucked on your bottom lip making you mewl against him, a small smirk curling the corners of anton’s mouth because of it. he wanted you to be as into it as him, wanted you to want him to fuck you as much as he did, so he moved on top of you, both hands still cupping your cheeks while one of his knees moved to separate your legs, pressing against your covered middle softly, just hard enough to elicit another small moan to slip past your lips and into his. he started moving it, drawing it in small circles and making sure to start pressing more and more into you, until you were whimpering against him relentlessly, wordlessly begging for more until you finally spoke up, your voice much whinier this time as you told him to just fuck you — and because anton wasn’t one to ever deny you anything, he did, not much time separating the last kiss you shared and the moment you finally found yourselves naked and with him pushing himself into you for the first time.

your pussy was absolutely soaked by then, all thanks to anton’s continuous teasing, making the job of thrusting into you somewhat easier, even if you still struggled a bit to take him fully. anton swore he would cum as soon as he bottomed out solely based on the wondrous feeling of your pussy clenching around him as he dragged his cock languidly into you, getting lost in how you wrapped around him so well, so tightly, a warm feeling surrounding his length, making his brain grow fuzzy with pleasure.

you just looked too good underneath him. your face was twisted into an expression of pure pleasure, brows furrowed and lips parted in a perfect ���o” shape, moaning as he started to slowly pull out, giving you time to adjust. you felt as if anton was splitting you open, his cock so thick it barely fit inside you, stretching you out as much as you could take while still feeling good, the initial weird uncomfortableness eventually passing by as he kept moving, keeping his pace slow and steady, wanting to give you time to adjust, being patient because the last thing he wanted was to accidentally hurt you. your pussy looked so good taking him though, swallowing him and wrapping around him so snuggly, making anton wince in pleasure. both your gazes were focused on it, on how your cunt was taking him, each thrust making anton’s cock glisten more with your slick, the visible veins running up and down his length throbbing in anticipation for the moment he would be able to start fucking you properly.

in an attempt to help relax you even more, anton leaned down for another kiss, his hair falling over his eyes as he pressed his lips against yours. this kiss is softer, sweeter, just as needy as the ones you shared previously but not as fast paced. anton wanted to treasure the moment, live it to the fullest and have every second of it imprinted in his brain, afraid of ever forgetting the first time he ever truly had you in his arms. he held you closer, still kissing you, sucking on your tongue while slightly speeding up his thrusts, testing how well you’d take it — and as expected, you excelled, moaning into the kiss and clamping down around him harder, eventually breaking apart from him, wanting to scream anton’s name but suddenly remembering his roommates were still in the room next door, so you couldn’t. instead though, you pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes and whimpering about good it felt, about how good his big dick felt stretching you out, fucking you so well, better than anyone ever had. your words affected anton, making him moan, rolling his eyes back in pleasure while changing his posture, hoisting himself higher by placing his hands by either side of your head, picking up his pace and moving more swiftly, by now already able to build up a quicker pace with how well your pussy was taking him.

“you drive me crazy, you know that, right?” he asked, eyes locked on yours, his tone more unstable than usual. you nodded, your expression flustered as you brought him back to you, wrapping both arms around his neck and lacing both of your legs around his waist, holding him in place, wanting to feel anton’s wide frame pressed against yours, his weight on top of you comforting in a way. he also embraced you, reaching behind you and hugging you close, his hands interlocking it’s fingers behind your head and holding you up so your face was close to his, forcing you to maintain the eye contact as he continued fucking you, moving faster, more precisely, reaching deep inside you with his cock, his tip kissing your cervix softly with every thrust. anton felt like he was in heaven — you both did, so lost in each other that nothing else mattered, only able to focus on looking at one another and feeling how good you both made each other feel. it was all too much, too intense, so when anton blurted out his next words without even thinking twice, neither of you reacted as if they were odd for him to say.

“i love you” he told you, his tone sincere and his voice steadier this time, as if he was determined to say it in a way that would let you know he was being truthful. you only kissed him, pressing your lips against this desperately and bringing him as close to you as humanly possible, pulling away for a second just to say those three words back to him, your voice whinier than his, but still just as honest.

anton’s thrusts continued steady, dragging in and out of you deliciously, reaching that sweet spot inside you that made an invisible knot start forming in your lower stomach, growing tighter, ready to snap at any moment. you were both close, so through his low groans, with his lips still pressed closed to yours, anton asked if he could cum inside, if he could fill you up with his cum, and you, in your hazy state, said yes, asking for it, his thrusts growing rougher for a second until you were both reaching your orgasms. anton’s came first, his thrusts starting to get sloppier but not completely losing their pace as he kept going while his cock twitched inside you, shooting creamy strings of warm cum inside you, painting your insides white — that feeling being exactly what finally ignited your own high, one loud moan leaving your lips when it hit before anton was pulling you in for yet another kiss, trying to silence you as you both reveled in your own pleasures, whining into one another as he started slowing down, eventually finally coming to a halt with his dick still buried deep inside you. you both felt at cloud nine, beginning to come back to your senses and finally realizing what you had admitted to in the middle of your sex-induced, foggy states, pleasure having clouded your thoughts throughout the whole thing and making you bolder than usual apparently.

“did you mean it?” anton began, his voice soft as he pressed his forehead to you, both your eyes closed while you still held each other close. “when you said you loved me?”

you hummed in agreement, deciding to be honest, nervous when you asked if he did too. anton replied that yes, he did, both of you smiling at that moment, giggling before sharing another kiss, this one more intimate, as if you were making a promise to each other to stop avoiding your feelings, and to finally lean into them, to let yourselves be together like you had been wanting for so long.

[steddieas-shegoes]

🪱 Wiggly Wednesday 🪱

cw: temporary character death (Eddie is alive and well in my heart and in every story I ever write don’t you worry)

steve doesn’t know why he still feels such a deep pull towards the trailer park. he thinks it’s because of max at first, but once max is awake and teasing him like she was never in a coma at all, he realizes that’s not it.

he feels…fluttery. like he can’t sit still, or focus, like he’s floating in the universe. like he’s waiting for something.

but he doesn’t fucking know what.

robin keeps telling him he should consider his feelings for eddie, how maybe the friendship they’d acquired meant a little more than steve initially thought. maybe steve has some internal deep-diving to still do.

but steve did that already. he concluded that he very much would’ve liked to kiss eddie on the lips with tongue. maybe forever.

eventually, he gives in and visits the trailer park. most people moved after everything, and eddie’s trailer is still neglected. his uncle moved closer to the plant as soon as he heard eddie was gone. trying to fix the trailer didn’t feel as important to him without his nephew coming home.

there’s no reason for the way his hands shake and his lips quiver as he walks up the porch steps. there’s no reason for his heart racing as he cracks open the busted front door. and there’s certainly no reason for his dick hardening the moment he catches a scent he recognizes as eddie.

the man is dead, dude. get yourself together.

but as he walks further into the trailer, closer to what was eddie’s bedroom before it got raided by the cops and ruined by people who thought the worst of him, the scent gets stronger. steve’s sweating. his breath catches and he nearly chokes on his own saliva.

eddie’s there.

eddie’s there in his bed.

alive.

and suddenly that pull he’s felt for so long makes sense, and he recognizes it for what it really is: some creepy monster connection.

“it’s about fuckin’ time,” eddie grits out. “i couldn’t leave here until you came.”

“what? how?” steve is so lost, so confused. “what’s happening?”

“what’s happening is that you and i both got some major shit to discuss with your friends. the bats gave us some kinda venom and i can hear every single thought you have.” eddie smirks. “which has definitely helped me pass the time.”

steve blushes because he knows exactly what eddie’s talking about. “you can hear my thoughts? why can’t i hear yours?”

eddie shrugs. “i guess my exposure was more so i have more powers? i dunno. but i love what you were thinking with the rope. that was clever. definitely up for it if you are.”

“can i please have a second to come to terms with you being alive before we start planning out my sexual fantasies?” steve rubs his hands across his face. “i don’t understand how you’re here.”

“probably the venom.”

“you seem way too calm.”

“i’ve had two months to find calm.”

steve looks around the room, sees wrappers on the bedside table and dirty clothes piled in the hamper. most of his personal belongings are still sitting at the police station, but his acoustic guitar and a notebook are sprawled in front of him on his bed.

“you’ve been here for two months? alone?”

“with your thoughts, yes.”

“so you-“

“yep.”

“and when i-“

“uh huh.”

“and you’d want to-“

“most definitely.”

steve nodded, sure of himself for the first time in a long time. “can you leave here now?”

“probably. why? you gonna whisk me away to your castle so we can pleasure each other in the moonlight?” eddie’s teasing grin should annoy steve, but he’s gone too long without it and he thought he’d never get to see it again. “quite sappy, aren’t you?”

“if you promise to never refer to sex as pleasuring each other, i’ll definitely take you back to mine.”

“i’m sorry. would you prefer the term making love?”

“yes, actually.”

eddie’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t tease. “then we should…go…do that.”

steve leans down to kiss the corner of eddie’s mouth, shocking both of them with how quickly and naturally it happens.

“should we bring a blanket to cover you in the backseat? until we figure out what we need to do to keep you safe.”

eddie wraps a blanket around his shoulders and stands up. “lead the way, my liege.”

[alleinadzehcnaz]

(Got swamped with work but here's the first one for week two)

WEEK TWO Sex Toys (Cove)

Cw: Magic wand, overstimulation, slight edging (?), coming in mouth, some after care.

Resume: Cove gets interested on trying something new after reading a story you wrote

You and Cove knew each other very well, it's what came with all those years of friendship and companionship, you were each other's confidants even before you started dating.

You knew one another like the palm of your hands and whenever a new mark appeared you were quick to share it with the other.

You trusted Cove with everything and he trusted you in return.

That's why he wasn't scared to share with you the new little idea that refused to leave his mind.

He had stumbled over it while reading one of the stories you wrote, one that was still in the making but that had intrigued him a lot.

It had confused him at first, not knowing what a “Magic wand” was, but after searching it up and watching it work its magic, he was more than intrigued and eager to ask you about it.

He brought it up that night after dinner, asking if those really felt as good as people made it look.

You usually did a lot of research for your stories so you were very happy to answer all his questions and to look up the ones you didn't have an answer to.

Once you were both satisfied with your research binge he looked at you and made the million dollar question.

“Can we get one?” His face was eager and so openly excited.

This, of course, sends you both on another research binge, now to find the perfect one to buy for yourselves.

You landed on a pretty blue one, rechargeable and with a nifty temperature setting.

And thanks to the power of adult money and express shipping it was now in your hands.

You were having some genuine fun testing out the intensity levels on each other's arms when Cove dropped a new bomb.

“Can we try it out on me first?”

He didn't need to convince you

You had Cove sitting at the edge of your bed, legs spread and cock standing hard as a rock, the sheepish smile that adorned his face telling you how excited he was.

Kneeling in front of him you look into his eyes for any signs of hesitation but all you see is love and the trust he has in you.

You start little by little, first at the inside of his tight, a gasp leaves his mouth the moment the wand touches his skin followed by a giggle over the weird feeling of it.

You laugh at his reaction too but don't stop what you're doing, now moving the wand to his inner thigh you see Cove open his legs wider as his hands take a hold of the comforter, not really knowing what to do with them.

His eyes are fixed on the vibrating head, anticipating the moment it'll make contact, the slight tremor of his legs giving away how excited he is.

He knows you're teasing him by avoiding what he wants, only focusing on his tights and his belly.

But not for long.

You asked if he was ready and after getting a very enthusiastic affirmative you moved the toy to where he wanted you to.

A surprised “Ah!” left his lips as soon as the toy made contact with his dick.

Moving it from base to tip you made sure to make it the least overwhelming possible giving him a break whenever his whining got a little too pained.

You both knew Cove wouldn't last long, the vibrations making it impossible to resist, even with the breaks he was already leaking like never before.

Cove was a whiny mess, legs shaking and hands fisting the cover.

You only had to look at his blissed out face to know he was close.

You could milk it out if you wanted, deny him his orgasm for a while longer until he couldn't even beg for it.

But that could wait for another day, for now you wanted to see him cum until the last drop was out.

With that decision made you mercilessly upped the intensity of the toy and moved to put your mouth around the tip of his dick ready to catch his cum.

The combination of both actions got you the result you wanted and soon enough Cove was coming into your mouth, his taste filling your tongue and his moaning was like music to your ears.

Once you drank the last drop you looked up to him, he had fallen back into the mattress, breathless and trembling.

You turn off the toy and go up to sit by him, fix his sweaty hair so it doesn't bother him and reach for your water bottle while he recovers his breath.

You couldn't wait until it be your turn.

[flower-boi16]

Why Stolitz is Helluva Boss's Worst Plotline

I don't know how to start this post so I'll just get to the point; Stolitz sucks complete ass and is the worst part of the show. It used to be interesting in season 1 but no longer in season 2, here's why.

1. Stolitz in season 1 (and why it worked)

Let's establish the reason why Stolitz worked in season 1. As we all know, Stolitz is a toxic relationship, it always has been. Stolas only wanted to sleep with Blitz and nothing else, to get all sexual with him and stuff....

And that's why it worked, Stolitz was in an intentionally toxic relationship, and the show treated it as such as seen in Ozzie's, where Blitz tells Stolas he doesn't want to sleep with him anymore. This was an interesting conflict and a lot of people were excited to see where season 2 would take Stolitz going forward after this. How was it going to resolve this conflict? There was a lot of potential...that season 2 has completely destroyed.

2. The Circus Ruins Everything (and here's why)

Now we move onto the season 2 premiere, The Circus, and hooo boy this is where the problems with this relationship begin to show themselves, as we encounter the first problem with Stolitz; Viv trying to retcon her way out of making Stolitz not toxic. The Circus makes the bizarre writing choice of making Blitz and Stolas childhood friends...

This writing decision sucks ass, here's why. Ok, first of all, let's get this out of the way first; this is a retcon. Stolas and Blitz being childhood friends and Stolas loving Blitz all along does not at all line up with any of their interactions throughout season 1, the point of their relationship in season 1 was that Stolas was the only part of Blitzo that Stolas was interested in was his dick and nothing else, this ignores that in favor of painting Blitz and Stolas as UwU childhood friends while forgetting all of their interactions in season 1.

Second of all, it's entirely unnecessary. Nothing about Blitz and Stolas's dynamic changes if you remove this and just have them fall in love as adults. Third, as a previous anon had already pointed out, making Blitz and Stolas childhood friends actually makes Stolas look worse because he's treating his childhood friend like a sex toy rather than a person. We'll get to this later but a major problem with Stolitz is the fact that the show tries to portray Stolas as the UwU sad soft boy victim and ignore how he treats Blitz in favor of making him and UwU soft boy.

The Circus is merely the beginning of that; the show is now starting to try and retcon its way out of making Stolitz not toxic by portraying as a UwU sweet childhood friendship all the while forgetting the actual point of the relationship to begin with. Don't worry, because hoooo boy let's talk about the next problem with Stolitz in season 2 that being...

3. The Feud in Ozzies (and its resolution)

So y'all would know that Stolas and Blitz had a fight at the end of Ozzies, right? Well this is where we enter the second problem with Stolitz; the events of Ozzie's go completely ignored. The next time Blitz and Stolas have an onscreen interaction is the second episode of season 2, Seeing Stars (Aka the only decent episode in this whole season). The two interact and...they just go along like nothing happened. As if they didn't have an argument at the end of season 1. People clearly noticed this and were confused as to why these two were just playing along as if the events of Ozzie's never happened...

Well guess what, episode 4, Western Energy, actually resolves the conflict the two had... off-screen...with a blink and you'll miss it text message. This was the moment I had officially lost my patience with this stupid season. It's just SO damn insulting. So you wanted to see where they could take this plotline after Ozzie's? How could Blitz and Stolas develop and resolve their conflict? Hehe well too fucking bad how about we just pretend that didn't happen and then resolve it with a fucking text message.

This is such a lazy and underwhelming way to resolve a conflict, it feels like Viv didn't know where to take Stolitz after season 1 so she just decided to give their feud an underwhelming resolution that unless you directly pause you would miss. So, the feud Blitz and Stolas had at the end of Ozzie's is completely forgotten about and then resolved off-screen, so fuck you to anybody who was excited to see where they went with this plot line I guess. Now that we have that out of the way...let's talk about the next problem with Stolitz;

4. Blitz's demonization

So season 1 ended with Blitz making it crystal clear to Stolas that he is deeply upset about their relationship only being about having sex with each other, so it's very clear that given how Stolas has been acting towards Blitz, he is the victim and Stolas is the abuser, so, therefore, Blitz is in the right for not loving Stolas given their interactions with each other throughout the whole season...

Ya well watch as season 2 just completely ignores that and tries to paint Blitz as the one in the wrong for not loving Stolas. This is where we enter the next problem with Stolas; treating Blitz as if he is in the wrong for not loving Stolas (or not believing that Stolas does genuinely love him). Stolas has been treating Blitz as nothing but a sex toy throughout all of season 1 and yet the show wants us to believe that BLITZ is in the wrong here??

Episode 6 Oops is where this problem really shows itself. I already ranted about this episode before, however the cage scene where Blitz and Fizz talk about their sex life is indicative of Viv trying to make Blitz look like the bad guy because Stolas did some nice things for him... off-screen. Talk about telling instead of showing. Like I said in that post, it feels like a retcon; we never saw Stolas do any of these nice things for Blitz and that doesn't even line up with his behavior in season 1.

It's also just...lazy. Viv couldn't be bothered to actually SHOW Stolas doing these nice things for Blitz so she just TELLS us that Stolas did all of these things for him so Blitz could look bad. However, it falls flat because once again, it's told to us, not shown. AND EVEN IF we accept that Stolas did do all of these nice things for Blitz, THAT STILL DOESN'T EXCUSE HIS TREATMENT OF HIM!!!

So the show wants us to see Blitz as the bad guy for the crime of not loving Stolas because he treated him like a toy rather than a person, but Blitz is NOT in the wrong for acting this way at all yet the show paints him as the bad guy anyway. The show is basically saying that a victim is in the wrong for getting mad at their abuser for abusing them.

"But Blitz took advantage of his childhood friend!" Yes, Blitz was an asshole, but so was Stolas, yet the show acts as if Blitz is 100% the bad guy and Stolas is 100% an innocent soft boy. Speaking of Stolas...

5. Stolas is terrible

So Stolas is terrible, plain and simple. He is very toxic and abusive to Blitz as I've already gone over. However, for some reason, rather than framing Stolas as the abuser he is, Season 2 opts to instead frame him as an UwU soft boy who supposedly did nothing wrong. This is less of a problem with Stolitz and more with Stolas's character as a whole; the show portrays Stolas as an UwU sad Owl boy and we're supposed to sympathize with him despite him not being a great person.

And Stolitz is where this issue shows itself the most. Season 2 never portrays Stolas as in the wrong for how he treated Blitz in Season 1, instead trying woobify him and simply turning around and saying "oh Stolas just wants a friend! He genuinely does love Blitz! Why doesn't Blitz love him back?!". We clearly are not supposed to see Stolas as the abuser here, however, no matter how you slice it Stolas IS the abuser in this relationship.

And so far the show has never made him apologize to Blitz for how he treated him nor has it tried to make him better himself for Blitz. And it seems like Viv has tried to make Stolas look better in episode 6 with the scene where Blitz says that Stolas did all these nice things for him, but once again it's ineffective because it was off-screen. And once again the decision to make him and Blitz childhood friends ties directly back into this because as I've already said, it makes Stolas look far worse because he's treating his own childhood friend like a sex toy, despite how much the show wants to convince us that Stolas is just an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong and just wants a friend, and no matter how much the show will demonize Blitz, I can not feel bad for Stolas because he's the abuser, not Blitz.

Stolas is just incredibly unlikeable and hard to sympathize with, especially when it comes to this relationship. "But Stolas genuinely loves Blitz!"- putting aside the fact that was also a retcon, even if Stolas genuinely loves Blitz, that doesn't somehow mean that how Stolas treats Blitz is ok. Despite how much the show wants us to convince us that Blitz is the bad guy here and Stolas is just a victim, Stolas is an abuser, there is absolutely NO denying it.

But what if I told you there is a piece of HB content that exemplifies this issue the most? Well...I promised y'all I'd analyze this video so...without further ado...

6. Let's Tear Apart the "Just Look My Way" music video

The second I finished watching this music video, I KNEW that I had to talk about it in this post. Why exactly? Well aside from it being the worst piece of HB content I have ever seen, it's also...a stolitz song. It shows off the issue of Stolas being woobified in season 2 greatly. In this section, I'm going to analyze the lyrics in the song while explaining why this song is the culmination of my biggest issues with this stupid ship. This entire song is about Stolas singing about how sad he is that Blitzy doesn't love him 🥺, and it is SO telling that this is the message the song is going for given the lyrics like this:

"Let me hold you, keep you close to me I long to hear your voice"

"I don't care that you're of lower station Or primed to sate my dark temptations Why can't you understand? Let me explain!"

These lyrics scream "Blitzy why don't you love me!!!". But that's contrasted by lyrics like...this;

"But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice"

"I will try to make amends For making you means to an end So, look my way, please, look my way"

This actually sounds like Stolas apologizing to Blitz for how he treated him, which is exactly what I wanted...but the rest of the lyrics are just Stolas saying "Blitzy why don't you love me!!!". It's once again choosing to victimize Stolas rather than actually framing him as the abuser he is. This entire song is the most melodramatic emotionally manipulative shit I've ever seen, it once again portrays Stolas as an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong and just wants someone to love him.

"But Viv didn't write the lyrics!" For those who don't know, Just Look My Way was a fan song that Viv and her team decided to animate as well as make Stolas's voice actor sing. And yes, Viv did not write this song, a fan did, however my issue is that within the context of the rest of the show up until this point, these lyrics do not do any favors for this ship. And I feel like Viv chose this specific song just so she could make Stolas look like a UwU soft boy again. There's also the fact that Viv changed some of the lyrics as well, removing the little impish plaything line and the one talking about Octavia.

This could be done to make the song closer to canon...but there's also a possibility that Viv did this so she could NOT acknowledge Stolas's actual faults and make the song entirely about Stolitz. This post summed it up pretty well.

So conclusion; Just Look My Way is an awful music video that is horrifically bad when It comes to the context of this relationship and once again tries to make Stolas look sympathetic when he really isn't. This is not how you make a sympathetic character guys. Now let's talk about the final issue with Stolitz...

7. It's Just Plain Toxic

This is the biggest reason why I (and many other critics) dislike Stolitz; it's just plain toxic. It's a toxic ass ship where the abuser is portrayed as the victim while the victim is framed as the abuser, and where the abuser has never gone to better himself for the victim, yet the show wants us to root for this couple to get together for some reason despite that. The show constantly paints this an UwU cute childhood friendship when it's anything BUT that in reality. It's toxic, plain and simple.

8. Conclusion

Look, if you like or ship Stolitz, that's fine, I didn't make this post because I wanted people to stop shipping it. I made this post because I believe Stolitz is easily the worst part of the show, it's a horribly written toxic and abusive romance that we are supposed to root for and the fact that people DEFEND this ship despite it being OBJECTIVELY toxic and unhealthy is baffling to me.

So ya, that's why I hate Stolitz...bye.

[igotanidea]

Cheater - part 2

part 1

Warnings: SMUT -MINORS DNI PLEASE! heavy angst, heartbreak, poor life choices, trauma, drama

A/N: special thanks to @90s-belladonna - I kinda heard your comment :D, and sorry for all the spelling mistakes, it's waayyyy past midnight here but I just had to finish it.

Ok, here we go people. Get ready for angst in 3....2......1.....

***

„You sure as hell moved on pretty fast.”

“Come on, Dick, it’s been three months. Do you seriously expect me to cry over a guy who, may I remind you, cheated on me. And who, may I remind you as well, you wanted to beat to shit cause of that?”

“Hey, I’m just saying” Dick raised his hands in surrendering gesture “it’s just nice to see you smiling again.”

“Besides.” Y/N gave him a warning expression “Kyle and I are just friends. We are having fun together, but he is a freaking green lantern. Here one second and on the other side of the galaxy the other. You cannot quite rely on a guy like that to get into a serious relationship with.”

“Mhm, sure. Someone should probably tell him you think so.”

“Why?”

“Cause I can see the way he looks at you.”

“Which is how exactly?” the girl turned around, facing Dick, her eyes showing nothing more but a confusion.

“Like you are a piece of meat, Y/N. He surely wants something more than friendship.”

“Who? Kyle? He’s a resident flirt. He’s not treating me seriously, and neither do I him.”

“Right, whatever you say.”

“You are being paranoid Dick. I know you want to protect me and I appreciate that, truly” she put a hand on his shoulder making him look straight into her face “but I’m fine, I promise. And if anything wrong were to happen I know where to turn. You may have slightly different judgment, but all I’m asking is a little bit of trust. Can I have that, Dickie?”

“Fine! Fine! Have it your way. But. If he does anything. I mean, anything you don’t like, you tell me, all right?”

“All right, Mr. Vigilante. Even though with all the batman training I could probably kick his ass myself. But I promise.”

“Good. Have a nice date then.” he laughed leaving the room.

“It’s not a date!” he yelled after him

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that, sunshine!”

***

After learning what Jason did (who was irrelevant at the moment) Y/N swore to herself she will not succumb into depression and bad thinking. Nope. It was not her fault, she was the victim and there was seriously no reason to dwell on the past. It hurt, sure it did, she loved him after all and such feeling cannot just be turned off, but slowly with Babs, Cass and Steph help she got back on her feet. This entire situation was particularly hard for Dick, since if nothing else Jace was his brother, but he was Y/N’s biggest support as well, helping her get her mind of things by giving her some serious vigilante training and let her join the team on the field. He would never do that under any other circumstances and Y/N appreciated that in every way possible.

So yes, after a month or so, she started to heal and let go, opening herself to life and putting her extra energy into patrols and night work. And that was how she met Kyle. It was actually quite easy. One day, on the titans meeting, while Y/N was discussing the details of newest mission with Donna he just dropped by, apparently because of some mission, and the girl instantly caught his attention.  And given the fact that Kyle had a relationship with Wonder Girl it made it easier to push through to Y/N.

“So, who’s your little friend, Donna?” he asked, tilting his head and eyeing Y/N carefully.

“I’m sorry, who are you calling little, green?” Y/N scoffed “just because you ego is sky rocket high, does not mean I will let you diminish me.”

“All right, there’s no need to get defensive. You just seem like the newest member of the team and that makes you …. Well, little. Unexperienced. A greenie if I may say so. ”

“Kyle….” Donna warned the boy, but he let those words go.

“No offence here, little one, but maybe you should just go home and stay safe. Earth has many protectors who are way more qualified to do the job.”

“Ok, that’s it.” Y/N came right at him, before Donna or any other member of the Titans could stop her. He knew exactly what green lanterns were capable of so with just one perfect swing, turn and kick she managed to grab his ring, with which he was recklessly playing. Once her fingers clutched around the source of the boy’s power, taking him completely by surprise, she threw some of her shurikens in his direction, the force of the flying object, pinning Kyle to the wall.

“Hmmmm” he muttered easily breaking free and humming in admiration “I may have underestimated you.” he reached his hands toward her “I don’t think we were properly introduced. I’m Kyle Rayner, and who may you be, sunshine?”

***

Their relationship was rocky. There were teasing and playing on each other’s nerves, but also quiet moments together when no words were needed to fill the silence. There were fights and banters, but also supporting each other and tending to each other wounds. Y/N missed the fact that this was pretty similar to the other relationship she was before. Guess the girl had a type. But still, Kyle was just a friend to her. Maybe even a frenemy. Nothing more. Nothing. And that was why it was so hard for her to believe the truth behind Dick’s words. Did Kyle see more to their talking and meeting than it truly was? Did he want … more?

It was a bit too late to wonder about that, but her mind was just fixed on this thought.

Was that why he asked her out for tonight. Truly, Y/N believed it was just a casual outing, especially when he mentioned the possibility of his female friend joining him. Y/N was convinced, she was supposed to be the wingwoman and said friend was the one Kyle had his eyes on, but now, as she recollected how the guy asked her out, she realized how wrong she was all this time.

“Hey, Y/n” Kyle grabbed her waist from behind and not giving a damn about her kicking and screaming to put her down, spun her in the air “how about we go out next Saturday? Hm? Come on, say yes, you know it’s impossible to deny this handsome face.”

“First of all, get your hands off me, Rayner! And secondly, why would I say yes to you. You are a terrible person.”

“hmmm. You’ll get dinner for free, and perhaps a flower? How is that for an incentive?”

“That sounds better. I may be friends with a billionaire son, but still had to cut on expenses. How unfair is that?” she scoffed

“It’s settled than.” Kyle smirked “I’ll pick you up at 6 p.m., little one.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Not a chance” he bend over and pecked her cheek so quickly it was like it never happened “Oh, and one more thing. I have this one friend, who recently started going out with some new dude. She says there’s a bit awkwardness between them, though she paved over the reason. Anyway, I thought maybe we can show those two how nice and friendly it can be between a man and a woman?”

“Oh, so now I’m a woman?”

“Hush, little one. What I meant was that Artemis and her guy may be joining us, hope you don’t mind? We can still have….. “ he hesitated, his eyes fixed on his face and he had to fight an urge to lick his lips “fun.”

“I don’t really care who joins us.” Y/N waved her hands around dismissively “can I just go now?’

“Sure. I’ll see you soon, pretty.” He threw her directions and took off flying.

“Showoff.” She mumbled under her nose.

BUT WHAT THE HELL DID HE CALL HER?! PRETTY?!

***

Yes, she obviously misjudged Kyle’s intentions over her and that came out painfully clear when he knocked on her door, all dressed up, looking.. well, as much as she hated to admit it, handsome. Thank god, she put on a clear pair of jeans and her best shirt. Otherwise she would fell terribly underdressed.

“Hello, little one.” He smiled his signature flirty smile and handed her a single flower.

“One flower?” she raised an eyebrow taking it from his hand “what am I supposed to do with it? Smell and swoon over your charm?”

“told you it was gonna be a single one.  Were you expecting more?”

“No.” she shook her head “let’s just go, all right. I’m actually pretty hungry and the sooner I meet that friend of yours, the sooner I will be free of talking to you.”

“Always a pleasure to be the one to be used by you.” Kyle grinned and motioned her to the car.

“SHUT UP!”

“You look so cute when you are flustered.” He cooed “now come on, get it the car. Are you waiting for me to open the door for you? Cause that may take some time.”

“I’m just reconsidering if my hunger is really worse than the pain of being in your company…..” she pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering what she just got herself into “Fine. Fine, I’ll get in. But just to be clear, I’m ordering the most expensive dish on the menu.”

“Which would probably be a burger and fries, but whatever you say, little one.”

“I HATE YOU, RAYNER!”

“Yeah, I love you too, Y/N.” he teased playfully, but somehow his tone was a bit different than usually.

Oh, she was terribly wrong with judging his intentions, and hell, apparently Dick was right. 

***

Once they arrived at the destination, Kyle quickly noticed his friend already sitting in one of the booths. Her red hair were obviously distinctive so there was not a chance to miss the girl.

“Y/N, I’d like you to meet Artemis, one of the biggest mischief there is. Artie….”

“Don’t call me Artie!”

“…. This is Y/N, the girl who though she could beat me the first time we met. Hopefully now she realizes how wrong she was.”

“Hi!” Y/N decided to ignore Kyle’s words and focus on the other girl, instead “I’m Y/N. Good to see I’m not the one who gets called by him.”

“That’s annoying, isn’t it? Maybe we should join forces in kicking his ass?” Artemis smiled

“Bet that would be a shame for him. Can you imagine? Beaten by two girls?” both of them laughed. This Artemis girl seemed nice.

“Ok, ladies, enough of your silly dreams. Where did you lost your boyfriend, Arty? Cause my girl mentioned something about trying to leave me broke and I can’t wait to see her try. How long will we have to wait for him?”

“He just went to the bathroom. Something about bracing himself. You can’t possibly realize how  much effort I had to put in dragging him out tonight.”

“Girl, can we switch guys?” Y/N laughed “I would kill for a man who’d rather stay at home than make me go out.”

“Hmm, nice try, but I’m not giving up Jason so easily.”

“Jason?” Y/N froze for a second. No. No, this could not be…..

“Oh, there he is. Hey, Jace!” Artemis waved her hand in the direction of a black-haired guy. With a white strand of hair in the middle of the forehead. “We’re here.”

“Rayner.” Jason muttered, slipping into the booth.

“You never mentioned you were going out with Jay Todd!” Kyle laughed loudly “that is a hell of a coincidence, isn’t it?”

“Wait, you know each other?” Artemis’ gaze switched between two boys

“Long story full of hate and friendship.” Kyle laughed again. “Anyway, Jason, I’d like you to meet and probably get jealous of the pretty girl I came with tonight. No offence to your girlfriend present.”

“None taken.” Artemis shrugged and snuggled closer to Jason.

Jason, whose gaze travelled toward Y/N.

And then he realized and his eyes turned wide.

And what was even worse, she realized too. The girl who was so nice and sympathetic was also the one, Jason cheated on Y/N with.

“Hey, are you two all right there? You both look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Jason stuttered, not really convincing anyone.

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

This was sure as hell going to be a fucking interesting night.

***

The tension could literally be cut with a knife.

At least for Jason and Y/N since Kyle and Artemis were having so much fun together that if the other two were to disappear and never come back, none of them would even notice. While the lantern and the red head were just talking and talking and talking, the former Robin and the newest Titans member were focused on picking on their food, not even eating, just dragging it all over the plates, eyes down, unable to pretend. All those months of lying to herself and just by seeing him Y/N was falling back into the same trap.

Good thing she caught herself on repeating the same scenario.

“You are being awfully quiet, Y/N” Kyle finally realized whose voice was missing in the conversation “Todd here is a constant growler, but what happened to my little one?” he grabbed her waist pulling her closer and pinched her side, missing the furious glint in Jason’s eyes. Y/N did not and decided to use it.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you, Kyle. And you let me pick my own food, that is sooo kind of you.” she mocked “boys this days, right Artemis?’

“Sure…..” the other girl nodded “we are both lucky I guess, I mean Jace, despite his rather harsh outside is pretty friendly on the inside.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is.” Y/N smiled, her eye travelling to Jason, who at this point was just clenching his jaw. “Kyle, honey! You should have told me you knew each other. I would be much better  prepared for this date. Now I feel like I don’t know your friends at all and seem boring.”

“boring? Y/N, love….” Kyle immediately matched Y/N tone, not fully aware why she turned to be like this, but he liked that. “You are everything but boring.”

“Oh, stop it” he laughed in the silliest, girlish smile she could produce and pushed his chest lightly, playfully “you’re making me blush.”

“And that’s the prettiest blush in the galaxy.” Kyle brushed a strand of hair from her forehead, bringing his face closer to hers. “And I would know, I am the green lantern after all.”

That was simply enough for Jason. He could not control himself anymore, standing up abruptly, almost tripping the table and the dishes.

“Jason?” Artemis took his hand, rubbing it gently “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” He hissed through clenched teeth. “I need to smoke.” Without any other word of explanation or apology he left the table, heading towards the back exit.

“I’m sorry.” Artemis sighed deeply “I told he’s been acting strange for a while now…..”

“Really?” Y/N sipped on her cocktail innocently “for how long exactly.”

“A few months actually. I’m not really sure what’s got into him…. Maybe I should go and check on him?”

“Leave it, Artie. I’m telling you, Todd is one hell of a strange man…..

“Can’t argue with that….” Y/N mumbled, but no one heard her.

“…. A closed book, you could never open unless he lets you in.”

“Right…..” the red head played with her knife, twisting it between her fingers skillfully. “Kyle, I … I really should talk to you in private later.”

“Whatever you have to say, you can do it in front of Y/N.”

“Nah.” Y/N shook her head “I’ll give you two a minute. I need to go to the bathroom either way.”

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Artemis eyed her apologetically.

“It’s all right. Just have your talk, I get it.” Oh, she did get it. Guilt was eating Artemis up and Y/N was definitely not going to be the one to sympathize with her. “Just let me know when you’re done.”

“You got it, pretty. I gotta take you back home safe after all.”

Y/N just send him a light smile and headed towards the bathroom, but before she could reach it, she felt a strong grip on her wrist and was dragged outside.

“What the fuck!?” she hissed, twisting her assaulter arm in a well-trained motion, but it backfired on her, once she noticed who the attacker was. “What the fuck, Jason!?”

“What are you doing with him!?”

“Why do you care?!”

“What are you doing with that pimp!?”

“Pimp?! Oh, I’m sorry, are you speaking from experience? Cause sure as hell you would recognize someone to do it that business.”

“Be careful with words now, princess.” Jason hissed

“Oh, you think you can scare me” she cooed “that is just so. damn. Cute. In case you didn’t notice things have changed. I’m not the helpless girl anymore. Dick….”

“Oh, I know what my brother did. I know he trained you and made you join Titans. Is that how you met Rayner? Are you going out with him now?’

“This is none of your damn business!” she yelled

“Isn’t it?” he hissed taking a step forward, pressing her into the building wall, trapping her between it and his body, her hands pinned on her sides.

“I can still kick your ass, you know.” she struggled against his grip. Damn it, he was strong, that one thing surely did not change.”

“Than do it, I dare you.” he mumbled into her ear and it made her shiver.

Focus Y/N - she thought to herself -remember what he did”

“how is it going with Artemis?” she kept her tone cool, not showing how his proximity was affecting her “she’s worried you don’t love her anymore, you know.” she pouted “such a shame. Wasting perfectly good relationship…. AUCH!” she yelled as Jason pressed her further into the wall, the cold stone hurting her back.

“Do you ever shut up?!” he hissed

“At least I’m running my mouth in all the right places!” she yelled trying to push him off “not where they should never wander!”

“How about I show you were they should wander.” His eyes glistened with lust and she shivered under the weight of it. Oh, hell no!

“Don’t even think about it!” she hissed, but he completely ignored her words, getting closer and closer to her face, his grip becoming iron clad, probably leaving bruises “GET THE FUCK OFF ME! KY….”

Before she could finish yelling the other guy’s name Jason’s lips were already on hers, moving rapidly, hungrily with the intensity that made her melt instantly. And hating herself for that. For a moment she was struggling to break free, but once his hands moved over to her waist, pressing her closer to him, wondering over her entire body, touching all the places only he knew about she completely gave up. Fuck, he just knew her body too well to even try to object. At the moment, her brain just stopped functioning, completely giving in to the desire he was igniting in her.

God, his mouth. His soft mouth, moving against her own, biting on the lower lip, causing her to moan involuntarily and let his tongue inside, exploring and claiming her.

“Jason…” she whined, fisting hands into his jacket, pulling him closer.

“Yes, princess. Keep saying my name. Tell me you missed me the way I missed you….” he tangled one hand in her hair, tilting her head and kissing her neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and leaving a hickey. "Tell me….” He panted against her skin.

“I… I…..” she whimpered, still fighting not to give in completely, but slowly losing this fight “Fuck….” Poor girl could not hold back a whimper as Jason grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist, pressing her into the wall once again, but this time making sure she did not feel any pain.

“Why did you came with that fucker, huh?” he mumbled playing with the hem of her shirt “out of every people on the planet it had to be him?” he grinded against her and damn, it reminded her of all the nights they spend together tangled in the sheets, when he was making her feel so good.

“Jace….” She moaned more, grabbing his neck and putting his mouth back down, kissing him back with desperation and need.

“You’re mine.” He hissed, letting go off her thigs, her whole weight leaning onto the wall as he started unzipping her pants “Fuck, you could have wear a skirt for once. But you know what, I’m actually glad you didn’t. Means you weren’t planning on doing anything with him.” He slid her pants and panties down a bit, putting her feet back onto the ground just to get them all the way to her ankles, getting on her knees in front of her, grabbing her ass now. “God I missed this. I missed you.” he breathed, kissing her leg up, slowly, tentatively, getting towards her inside thigh and stopping there for a second.

“Please…. “ she buckled her hips, head falling back and banging against the concrete. She didn’t care if anyone saw them here in quite compromising position. She needed him. She wanted him. She craved the way he always knew how to please her, how to satisfy her hunger “Please Jason….”

“What do you need princess?” he licked on her most sensitive part with the precision no one else could even begin to compete with and she let out that little kitten noise that always made him aware of how good he was doing. Jason Todd had a fucking praise kink and his pants were already tight. “tell me. You already got me on my knees, I’m listening.”

“I…I…. Ah! Jason!”

“Yes, princess?” he smirked, sucking on her clit “you’re so wet for me, and god, you taste just delicious….”

“I need you in me, now!”

“I got you covered.” He raised onto his feet, unzipping his own pants, ready for action, once again lifting her up, spreading her wide and pushing in. Fuck, he was fucking her in a public place and what spurred him on even more was that she let him. He made a mistake of ever letting her go. Of cheating on her. He would do everything to get her back, to make her forgive him, to come back into her life. Anything. Artemis might have been hot and good in bed, but Y/n and him shared a connection,  a deep bond, they had history. Surely that must have meant something to her, right? Right?

They were going to talk later and he would explain everything, begging for her but as for now all the was focused on was making her cum, reminding her how good he could make her feel. He. No one else. Not Rayner or any other fucker. He. Jason Todd. The one bound to her, left at her mercy.

God, she felt so good, so tight, so warm around him when he was snapping his hips against her, getting lost in all the sweet sounds she was making for him.

“Baby….” He whispered kissing her with undeniable passion ‘you’re mine….. you’re only mine. Say it. Tell me you still love me. ” he begged slowly losing his mind over the sensations

 “I…. Ah! Don’t stop. Jace. Fuck, don’t stop” she pressed herself onto him, picking up the pace, fire inside her begging to be released. “Please, please, oh, please, Jace.” He nails dig into his back and he welcomed that familiar pain.

 “Come for me, baby. Let me feel you.”

“So… close… “ she panted, her breath ragged.

“I’m the only one who can make you feel like this.  Make you cum so fast, so hard. No one else. Not a one-night stand and definitely not Rayner.”

“Oh, fuck, fuck!” she screamed as he finally took her over the edge, her orgasm overwhelming her whole, her body shaking in his arms as he held her tight, caressing her back and sides, whispering praises and sweet nothings into her ear, following soon after, coming inside her. What he didn’t know was that she screamed not only because of the intensity of the orgasm, but also because she realized Kyle was still inside the diner. With Artemis. Artemis with whom Jason cheated Y/N on.

Fuck, he made a terrible mistake.

“Princess” Jason mumbled, still bemused by claiming her like this, pretty sure now that he made her come they would talk and clear things out “I love you….”

“Fuck you, Todd!” much to his surprise she pushed him away, tear gathering in her eyes.

“I don’t …. What….?”

“You fucking idiot! You stupid scumbag!” she cried out, bending for her pants and panties and putting them back on. God, she fell for him again. stupid, stupid, stupid

“Baby….” He reached for her cheek, but she slapped his hand hard

“Get away from me! I’m warning you.”

“But I …. I….. I want you back….” He stuttered “I’m sorry for what I did, I am. Losing you made me realize…”

“Oh just shut the fuck up. You used me. Again .That’s all  it was. And fuck, I let you. And hey, you just cheated on your girl, who you previously cheated with. Funny, isn’t it?” she smiled sourly, wiping away the tears. “Guess the history repeat itself. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Anyway, I am going home….”

“At least let me take you.” his eyes were futilely searching hers “We can talk when you calm down, baby.

“Talk!?” she snapped “I don’t ever, ever, ever, want to see you again! And I can go by myself, definitely not with you. Good luck explaining to Kyle and …. Her… where I went.” She turned on her feet, angrily walking away.

He fucked up. Again .

***

“Dick…..” she showed up on her best friend’s doorstep, shaking, crying, freezing to death.

“Y/N? What happened?” Dick instantly pull her into his chest and inside, rubbing her back just to warm her up a bit.

“I…. I did something terrible. I… I let….”

“Shh…” Dick cooed “breathe. Just breathe, all right? I’ll get you something to drink, you will take a shower and some rest and then tell me, ok?”

“O.. ok…” she stuttered

“Whatever happened, whatever Jason did to you, I’m here. I’ll help you.”

“How….how do you know…..?”

“I know you are not shaking like that because of Kyle. He’s a prick but he wouldn’t hurt you. My brother on the other side…” he shook his head “I guess I will have to kill him.”

“No, please, just stay with me.” She clung onto him desperately searching for safety and reassurance "I don;t want to be alone...." her sob was just so terrible it made Dick tighten the hug.

“I’m not going anywhere. At least for now…..”

To be continued?

[bellewintersroe]

can we have dick stealing sobel's gf 😌

AAAAGAHAGQHAH I LOVE THIS - writing with Sobel feels icky 🤢 so I’ve made that part as brief as possible- may seem unrealistic but I loveeee unrealistic scenarios 😈 ty for your request so sorry it’s legit taken a ridiculous amount of time to get round to doing this. Just a reminder this is based of the hbo portrayal of Sobel only, no disrespect to the real man!! Dick Winters stealing Sobels GF headcannons 🤭

okay let’s start off with something semi unrealistic but whatever.

Your family forced you into an arranged marriage with Sobel, or maybe you’ve been together since you were teens and it’s just… going nowhere, yeah. I kinda think the being forced to marry him is more realistic…

I can’t imagine there being much if any intimacy between you and Sobel- *shudders*.

And let’s be honest you’re soooo beautiful everybody’s clueless as to why you’re with the guy you’re with?

you’re stationed in England working there and lets say you’re just wayyy more sociable than your partner is. He’s not very nice to you- take that as you will, but at any chance to escape him you can.

pls you’re deffo already planning your breakup as soon as he’s shipped away, but you’re kinda worried about his and your families so you’re semi-sticking it out.

You become pretty isolated and essentially just give up on your love life.

that was until a red-haired, blue eyed soldier walks in. You can tell from the other men’s reactions he’s higher up- but you can also tell from the shy smile he sends in your direction he’s somewhat more reserved and polite.

Dick thinks you’re beautiful. He doesn’t know who you are and who you’re involved with- if he did he wouldn’t have been glancing over with flustered cheeks all evening.

“Dick just go over and speak to her for Christ sake.” Nixon eventually nudged his friend out of his seat.

that’s how you and dick eventually began talking. He’d approached you so politely, he didn’t want to intrude (I feel like Nix would have to get involved just to push it).

It wouldn’t even slip into conversation until later that night who you were with. The shock on both their faces is evident, Dick more so felt disappointed, then he felt guilty, then confused, and then a little humoured? Like how are you with Sobel out of all people?

anyway you see each other often and it’s a nice little friendship, there’s definitely some lingering feelings like you both know they’re there, but neither of you are bold enough or have the disrespect to make a move.

I feel like Dick would see you walking alongside Sobel, you both look so uncomfortably stiff and awkward with one another, he can tell you’re miserable.

all the men find it HILARIOUS that such a beautiful broad is with Sobel? But each to their own.

anyway, it’s one day, nearing dark outside and Dick just stumbles upon you sat on the wall, overlooking the fields in English.

when he notices you’re crying- uhhhh he feels a little awkward but he’s more concerned than anything. He checks the area first to see if you’re with anybody, but he’d be so gentle when he approaches you.

“Are you okay?” He’d accidentally startle you, but the gentle hand on the top of your back soothes you almost instantly.

you’d probs cry to him about how badly you don’t want that marriage and how horrible Sobel has been to you. Dicks just heartbroken about how badly you’re being treated. He doesn’t tell you to leave him, but in some ways he kinda does.

he’s NEVER do this for his own gain, but he knows that he can treat you better.

And ugh he’s so nice and respectful, everything that a man should be- and hearing that your family might DISOWN?!?? You for not marrying Sobel has him straight up admitting everything he feels for you.

Dick’s never been overly emotional but omg he can’t handle the idea of you not being taken care of. He’s very traditional and respectful, so wouldn’t force anything on you, but he’d 100% make it clear where he stands with you (there’s no room for overthinking with him).

so when he’s stood right there offering the world to you how could you say no? You leave Sobel without any reluctance and Dick is there waiting both emotionally and physically for when you’re ready. Of course if that’s not what you want he wouldn’t rush you. He kinda leaves you to do your own thing.

Its Nix who see’s the ring not on your finger, you’d get a little boozy with him and admit your feelings about Winters, you’re gushing about him and loud-mouth-lew obviously reports this back to a red faced Winters.

“oh, she said that?”

it’s safe to say you grow closer and closer, even if the progress is slow. He’d keep you updated through letters in the war, and you basically have a full fledged relationship just through writing to one another.

such romantic letters as the time goes on, who would’ve thought?

you best believe by the end of the war you two are living together in a quiet corner of the world, on a little farm and you’re happier than ever.

Sobel had warned you that without him you’d have nothing, no family, no man, no friends, no house, no money.

With winters you’d have it all and more. Sobel can’t do anything but act professional when he see’s Winters but omg he’s so salty.

[infiniteetcetera]

RAPID FIRE ACOTAR CHARACTER HOT TAKES

. [Mostly focused on side characters but thoughts about our mains too BC why not]

🔥Emerie is one of THE most underrated characters and deserved a bigger storyline in ACOSF (obviously it’s Nestas book but other side characters like Gwyn, Feysand, etc got more time that could have been hers)

🔥I don’t know why people really like Helion or want him with LOA😭 mans has let her be in an abusive relationship for DECADES & I feel like if he really loved/deserved her he would have blood dueled by now. he might make a fine father for Lucien but I don’t want to read a love story that involves a few centuries of abandonment

🔥I like genuinely wonder often if the rest of Lucien’s brothers are evil evil. Like if Eris is playing along to their abusive dad’s whims, how do we know the rest of them aren’t? They likely don’t know Eris is different so why would he know that about them? Lucien didn’t? IDK i’m just curious about more Vanserras

🔥Jurian is genuinely one of the funniest characters👀 his revival may be a little pointless but his vibes are immaculate and he’s underrated

🔥You don’t have to hate Mor for leading Azriel on (there are others reasons to not like her) but she definitely did💀aside from the fact every character including her says it we get literal scenes of it too. like she FR tells Feyre he has a huge dick and just says so many other sexual/romantic things about him that are NOT platonic, it makes sense he’s been confused AF😭

🔥Kallias and Viviane have one of the sweetest love stories in the series and I wish we saw more of them. they also just have such good vibes & if they’re gonna keep popping up for little cameos I want more deets

🔥TW SA: I won’t even argue about Tamlins wrongs against Feyre bc i’ve done so before & it isn’t worth the breath BUT it bewilders me that so many people ignore/excuse what he did to Lucien😭 aside from just the generally abusive vibes he not only ignored what Ianthe was doing to Lucien (when equally if not more depressed people like Feyre/Rhys noticed) but also made him have sex with that creepy ass predator😩 Lucien’s struggle with that is so overlooked in general but still bothers me people ignore Tamlins fault in it and that Lucien is now groveling for his friendship

🔥 While on the topic of SA, i’ve seen a lot of people in the fandom have such a gross attitude about what happened to Rhys recently. like man has plenty of flaws and has done a lot of wrong things but that’s not an excuse to make jokes about him being SA’d for DECADES especially when male SA representation is so rare and it’s dumbass jokes like the kind fans are now making that makes guys feel uncomfortable about speaking up

🔥One more on this topic, the SA Nesta experienced is also SO overlooked, even by the narrative itself. The general fact she was using sex as a form of self harm/punishment is also weirdly addressed a few times but then excused if it’s with Cassian in a way that’s so gross

🔥Feyre and Rhys having Nyx so soon was a bad decision. No matter how many people bring up the “oh they were so close to dying” “oh they don’t want to waste time” blah blah blah doesn’t change the fact that’s a TERRIBLE reason to have kids😭 like does the fact they made that decision kind of make sense given what they experienced? sure! was it at all smart or level headed or much more than a trauma response? literally no

🔥I feel like Rhys’ mom…kind of sucks? She’s spoken about more highly than any of the other ACOTAR parents but she literally forced her son to go to a child soldier camp she knew was full of misogyny, poverty, and a bunch of other barbaric practices, did nothing to help any of the other kids unless she was forced to (Rhys brought cassian home, and Az’s mom begged her to take him, she then let Rhys & Cas beat on this poor traumatized boy) and overall Rhys turned out far from perfect but actually could have been SO much worse when you think about it

🔥On the topic of bad parents KIER BEING ALIVE STILL IS SO STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

[vickytaa]

Until I found you

Summery: You moved from Boston to LA, leaving your best friends behind. A normal day, you were working as always when..

Words: 2.4k

___________________☆__________________

This week has been so stressful. At work, my boss has been a dick and giving me extra hours. The people that came to the Caffè are such disrespectful with everyone, also with the people who work there, like me.

University, it's been hard, I had to stay awake a couple of nights studying for exams.

My family, fortunately, had been so mindful and helping me with everything they could from Boston.

They call me anytime they can and even text me every day just to see how I am.

I miss them so much. Being apart from them it's just so hurtful, and I am just waiting for December so I can go back home.

Xavier, my boyfriend, has been a bit distant. He knows how stressed I am, but he doesn't understand that what I want for him is to be with me now, instead of leaving me alone.

He just doesn't notice.

Monday

6:30 am

I woke up after sleeping only 2 hours because the night before I kept awake studying quimic, half dead.

I start slowly to open my eyes as I extend my arm to turn off the phone alarm.

Another spectacular day, Monday.

I sit up in bed with little effort while I try to wake me up completely.

I grabbed my cell phone to see if Xavier had sent me any messages cause, yesterday he hadn't come home.

We've been living together for a year, and every time we weren't sleeping there, we would make sure to tell the other.

'He might have forgotten,' I thought.

I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. What will happen today?

I began to take off my clothes lazily and open the hot water for it to start getting warm, and surprisingly, there wasn't hot water.

'Great'

The day just started.

After bathing with ice water, I changed into work clothes, grabbed my keys, and got into the car.

On my way to the Caffè, 'Remember you - by dominurmom' started playing on the radio, and nostalgia hit.

I've always liked music a lot, but this song made me remember all those amazing moments with my childhood best friend, Nick.

He was the best person on earth, and time was air when I was with him. The laughs were natural, and the holidays with him and his brothers were unforgettable.

I haven't seen him for years, but I knew that if we saw each other again, It would be like before.

I didn't remember why we distanced ourselves because we were inseparable, but the distance killed when it's about relationships.

Leaving him to come to LA was the hardest decision of my life because he wasn't part of my life. He was my life.

When I left, I cried a whole month non-stop. My heart hurt every time it beat.

But it was the best for my future, or that's what I thought.

That song made me remember him because we used to love singing it every time we went camping with his brothers.

I missed them.

And I knew it, my body felt it too, my eyes started to fill with happy tears while I remembered us together laughing.

When I arrived, I didn't know whether to get out of the car. Is this what I always wanted?

I shaked my head to remove that thought of my mind and keep going.

4:25 pm

I was finishing my turn when I started taking someone's order.

"Good evening. What would you like to get today?" I repeated for the 53rd time in the day.

"Our friendship back"

I was shocked, I thought he might have confused me with an old friend, but when I looked up to see who it was, there he was, Nick Sturniolo. My best friend from infancy. A huge smile appeared on his face while our connected eyes started to fill up with tears.

The only thing I did was run into his arms and hug him.

It was like having that part of me that was missing again. A void is now filled.

"Oh my god, where have you been? I've missed you a lot, " I said, super excited. "I've been living for a couple of months here with my brothers, we moved to LA"

"Ohh, that's great, and what about your dream about being youtubers?" I asked.

I already knew that they started a while ago making videos, but I never had the courage to search them, I couldn't look at them after leaving them alone.

"It's fantastic, we already hit 6 million subscribers," He said happily.

"What? That incredible!" I stopped just to take a breath,

"It's a cute surprise to see you around. It's been years." I said while smiling from end to end.

When my turn finished, I went out to accompany Nick to his house, just to get to know it, and also to greet his brothers.

I enjoyed the journey as if it were something I had been waiting for for years, singing our favorite songs again in the car, at full volume with Nick.

When we arrived I couldn't stop laughing, we had been remembering hundreds of memories together.

As I entered the house, I saw Chris and Matt sitting on the sofa. A big smile formed in their faces. They couldn’t believe it; they haven’t seen me in years.

I opened my arms as they ran towards me. I hugged them while I laughed of their faces.

While I was trying to get away a bit to take a breath, I said: “you should have seen your faces”

“This was an unexpected surprise” Matt said, still without letting me go.

“Yes, but the best one” Chris added.

When they let me go, they both looked at me, and I smiled until my cheeks started to hurt.

After a while, we started chatting about our life nowadays, but suddenly I saw it. My most favorite board game was kept on the shelf.

“And do you remember when our math teacher told us to - “Chris was telling us when I interrupted him “Oh my god, I can’t believe it! This is our Monopoly game” I screamed with excitement.

I turned around to see Nick smiling at me. He knew that was my favorite game, and he had saved it all these years.

“Its... it’s the real one? Like, ours?” I asked while little tears of emotion were forming in my eyes.

Nick nodded with his head.

I ran to grab it and started opening it to play while the guys were sitting on the couch around the coffee table.

The three of them were staring at me while I was jumping with excitement.

It was a game that transported me years back when we used to stay up all night playing it.

We played for hours until we finished, and I obviously won, I’ve always been the best one, even when we were kids.

When I noticed the time, I saw it was a bit late, so I said goodnight to the boys, and Matt decided to walk me to the door.

In an attempt to break the silence, Matt said “Hey... uhm.. do you remember our first kiss?”. That was unexpected.

Yes, I remembered it. Every time I saw Xavier or felt his lips on mine ones, all I could think of was Matt.

A day before my departure, Matt and I, 13 years old child, lost in each other’s gaze, without knowing what it meant. Looking at each other, he came closer and let fall his sweet lips on mine with unforgettable delicacy and softness.

Our first and only kiss.

It was magic, like a promise, like a ' I don’t want you to go'.

I saw his blue eyes as I approached the door. A pain began to arise in my chest, I wanted to feel the magic again, but Xavier was waiting for me at home.

“I will tell my boyfriend that I got back together with you again, have driven him crazy with so many stories about you” I said. I knew it hurt him to hear the word *Boyfriend* but it was the harsh truth.

His head looked down but came back to look at me “Goodnight, Y/n” Matt said. “Goodnight Matt” I said and smiled at him. I didn’t want to go, really, but it was what I must do.

Our eyes didn’t let go for about 2 minutes until I decided to turn around and start my way home.

I could feel his gaze on me. Taking the blame, I sat on the car, and when I turned my head to look at him again, he was already gone. The door was closed. I understood him, and immediately I left.

When I arrived home, all that I wanted was to lay in bed and sleep, but clearly that’s not what happened.

I opened the door, and the first thing I saw was Xavier standing in the kitchen. He looked like he had been waiting for a long time.

“Where have you been, I’ve been waiting for ages” His tone assured me that he had drunk a lot.

“With some old friends” I said, clearly upset.

I saw him with challenging eyes. His lips parted, but before he could start whining, I asked, “Where were you last night?". He looked at me and shut his mouth with anger.

Ours was not enough, and we both knew it, but none of us wanted to take charge and broke up with the other.

“With my friend Jess. Much more pretty and friendly than you” he said.

I couldn’t believe him.

“Oh, yes?” I asked. He nodded, and I asked again. “So why are you with me and not with her now?”

“Because I wanted to come here to end up with you. Our relationship was over a long time ago. We don’t have the same connection as in the beginning. You are helpless on housework, and you are not as pretty as before. You were careless about your body.”

Wow, I didn’t see that one coming.

His last words echoed over and over in my head as I tried to stay upright.

“She is always pretty for me; she always makes everything for me to feel good.”

I looked at him dead in the eyes while trying to understand his words.

The air that kept me alive began to get stuck in my throat. A knot of fury and disappointment began to form in my belly.

“And I don’t want you to be mad just that you really need to make yourself pretty again. Like when you used to do it.”

How could he be so rude and careless?

My legs started to wobble. Since I was a teenager, I have dealt with all kinds of anxiety attacks but none as strong as this one.

The only thing I could think of was to escape from there or stay, and he leaves from there.

I needed to say something, I was frozen, but the only thing I said was “Go away”

He knew what he said hurt me, and seeing how much he hurt me or just a part hurt him too, but it was the truth.

He looked at me and started walking in my direction, like he was going to hug me or something. When he was standing next to me, I could smell his stinky alcohol breath. He looked up and down and made his way to the door.

A deep silence invaded the walls of my apartment. My heart beat with pain.

Despite this, I would no longer have to deal with Xavier every time he came home drunk.

I was speechless.

I sat on the couch trying to calm down my tears, but it was impossible, my hands were shaking as I try to catch my breath.

Why me?

I knew I wasn’t the best girlfriend, nor the most pretty, but why did he say it like that? Couldn’t he be more mindful and calmer?

Tying to calm down, filing repeatedly.

I felt useless.

The main thing on my head were his last words replaying over and over.

3:44 am

I knocked the door a few times, without waiting for an answer.

I waited for a couple of minutes before turning around to go back to the car when suddenly I hear the door open.

“Y/n? What are you doing here at- “Matt stopped talking as he saw my red eyes because of how much I cried the last few hours.

He moved a little to let me in, and as I walked inside, he squeezed my shoulder trying to get me comfortable.

“How do you feel?” He asked. A simple question that Xavier never asked me before, he never cared, and I didn’t see it.

“Xavier broke up with me. He said I haven’t worked on my body because I was to focus on other things. I am not as pretty as I used to be” While tears came down through my cheeks.

“And you believe him” It wasn’t a question; it was more of an affirmation. And he was right, I believed Xavier.

My eyes went to the floor, I couldn’t deny it.

“You know, when I was a child, I used to believe that I wouldn’t see the most beautiful girl in the world because she would be a top model from Europe, and that was until I found you” Matt confessed.

When I crossed our gazes again, they were filled with an inexplicable shine.

Our click.

“And since our first kiss, you haven’t left my mind” He added.

“You neither mine” I said.

He placed his forehead against mine and he wrap my face with his big hands, without stopping looking me straight in the eyes.

It was just the two of us, no one else.

We both felt like waiting years for this moment to repeat, but now with knew information of what it was. Love.

The magic we felt when we were teenagers revived.

His lips softly placed on mines.

☆☆☆

Dear diary:

It’s been a couple of months since Matt and I kissed again after our first kiss. Nowadays we are together and very, very happy.

I love him with everything I am, and I am deeply in love with him since I met him, because without knowing, he is the only one who takes my breath away every time he is nearby.

I will stick some pics of him to remember.

___________________☆__________________

Heeyyyy, did you like it??

:)))

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

EVERY WEEK I WILL POST A VARIOUS REVIEWS I’VE WRITTEN SO FAR IN 2024. YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY GOODREADS FOR MORE UP-TO-DATE REVIEWS HERE.

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8. That Time I Got Drunk & Saved A Demon by Kimberly Lemming--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First five-star read of 2024 🙏🏽

My friends have read this book and LOVED it, so I don't know why I'm lowkey surprised by how much I enjoyed this. I thought it would be a cheesy and slightly boring read (I didn't read the synopsis, okay? Sue me.) But what I got was SO far from that. Full of adventure, heart, sexual tension, and hilarious sass, I found myself laughing and paying rapt attention.

I loved the MC and her responses and commentary. I can see myself re-reading this just to highlight all of her sass. She's one of those contemporary characters set in a fantastical world that helps keep these kinds of stories light and fun. There's a scene where the demon just stares at her like "Okay, so we are definitely getting married" and I don't even blame him. This woman is a BADASS.

I loved their exploration of their world and how quick it was. Some readers might want more setting development, but honestly? I'm happy with how light and straightforward it was. I also really liked the side characters and how the demon just takes out anyone he wants, especially if they threaten the MC.

This was fun and everything I wish that other cozy fantasy book had given me. The new editions of the other two books have already been preordered 😌.

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9. The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THE THING ABOUT JELLYFISH perfectly encompasses the tortures of middle school, the changing of the people we once called friends, and the effects of grief and how a child's mind may twist in ways that might help them comprehend the reality of death.

Ali Benjamin does a fantastic job of drawing out the history of her MC and her friend. The way they both changed and how the MC came to choosing to stay silent verbally for the majority of the book. Watching her trying to find reasons for why her friend has died was heartbreaking. I can't imagine being a parent in that situation, where you know you can't help your child comprehend the change in their reality.

Also, middle school is a cruel place for a lot of kids (hi, I was one of its victims) and the levels of evil some of these kids get up to is truly astounding. It broke me a little watching this friendship fall apart and this poor, young MC having to remember the last moment she saw her friend alive.

Sometimes things just happen and this whole book is, ultimately, a great source for children grieving. Life can be messy, confusing, and sometimes heartbreaking. Benjamin's novel is beautiful and this is another one of those middle grade books that I think adults AND kids should be reading.

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10. The Skull by Jon Klassen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If no one has read any other Jon Klassen books, then they're in for a surprise. If they have, then they'll recognize the eeriness of his writing.

You can't tell me that the hat books aren't creepy (there's a couple of pages where the big fish CLEARLY eats the little fish in the long grass). This guy is morbid and props to kids' authors who can write a book both for kids and adults.

The artwork was beautiful as always and the story was a very, very quick read. Perfect for those 5-7 year olds who want to try something themselves but don't mind a talking skeleton or skull.

This also got reeeeeeal dark at one point and I was just thinking of how some of the Gen Alpha kids are.

Highly recommend--especially for those littles who love a little spooky with their bedtime stories.

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11. The Fiancée Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Romantic, at times funny, spicy, and full of characters I wanted to punch in the dick, THE FIANCÉE FARCE was entertaining from beginning to end.

Much like many of my reading experiences, I jumped into this without knowing what I was getting myself into and imagine my joy and surprise when the trope of "marriage of convenience" popped up. I loved watching these characters fall in love with each other, and I loved seeing the thwart the horrible people in their lives. I also loved that one of the MCs has a massive love for reading (shown through her family's bookstore).

Was this the best romance I've ever read? Not really--it had some pretty obvious climactic points and some very over the top villains--but it held my attention and I fell for the couple. I loved that one helped the other find her confidence that had been stripped from her at a younger age.

One of the things that keeps me from giving this a five star rating is how...in a bubble this story feels? Like, we meet other characters as they serve their purpose (as is the usual) but if they're not in the scene, it's like they don't exist. There's one scene where one particular character doesn't speak and it's a pretty pivotal moment for the reader to pay extra attention because this is a huge hint about this character, but Bellefleur doesn't even hint at it? It's like that character is deleted from the scene. This is like taking the adage of "when you're with me, I only see you" and using it to the max.

Other than that, this was an entertaining and sexy story of proving assholes wrong and falling in love despite you believing that you're not deserving of love. Highly recommend for enough looking for a cute romance full of family drama and fake relationships!

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12. Ana On the Edge by A.J. Sass--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Such a powerful story!

One of my favourite messages that ANA ON THE EDGE could potentially give young readers that it is OKAY to be in the process of trying to figure out who you are, but also that it's okay to not have all of the answers at once.

We see the MC struggle with their identity and their relationships throughout the whole book, especially because their world has always seemingly had such clear cut gender norms (Ice skating is a huge part of her world). I can't even imagine trying to find who you are when everyone around you is imposing who they think you are on you.

I also enjoyed that we got to see some of the more pivotal relationships in the MCs life and that messy in-between with friendships when big changes happen--like sudden schedule changes, or new friendships blossom. While this book tackled pretty big topics, I liked that its core it was still truly an MGLit book that explored the importance of friendships and keeping the good ones alive (even when life gets a bit hectic.)

Finally, I adored the relationship between the MC and their mom. I loved that they were a team and even though it took a little bit of time, they had some good communication between the two of them. There were some heartwarming moments and I loved seeing them understand each other better as the story progressed.

I think this is another great LGBTQ+ book to have in my back pocket for when I need to recommend great Queer books to readers!

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13. Mindy Kim & the Birthday Puppy by Lyla Lee and Dung Ho Hanh (Illustrations)--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It's been a while since I picked up the last MINDY KIM book but this was just as cute as I remember the last two books being. There were some moments that made me tear up a little, but I'm just an emotional mess sometimes.

I loved seeing Mindy come into her own with her brand new puppy. A couple of my best friends have a puppy and as I read Mindy's adventures (or misadventures), I thought of how difficult it was for my friends to parent a brand new puppy. This is a kid's book, so I'm not surprised Mindy was able to be so successful so quickly, but in reality, puppies are a lot more work than what was shown here. BUT this didn't take away from the story at all! I love that this could be a really great resource for littles who want a puppy, but need a further understanding of the responsibilities behind it.

And much like the last two books, there were some important topics explored here: how families might look, grief, multicultural traditions, and responsibilities one might take on.

Another great addition to the series and I'll hopefully be reading the next one soon!

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14. Suddenly by Isabelle Autissier--⭐️⭐️.5

I had a lot of expectations for SUDDENLY by Isabelle Autissier, but we all know expectations are sometimes the death knell of a story. The cover enticed me, the synopsis further pulled me in, but the clunky translation full of thesaurus-level words and the random time-jump totally took me out of the story.

Normally, I DNF books that aren't working for me because hi, I have a massive TBR to get through before I die. But I will give Autissier this: she wrote a very intriguing beginning to her book. I wanted to see these characters survive and thrive in their new environment. A morbid sense of intrigue had me continuing the story as they mercilessly killed creatures I never thought someone could kill so coldly, and as they had massive introspection about their super privileged lives (and their first world ignorance about their importance in the grand scheme of things.)

These two characters were severely unlikable, but I couldn't help but get attached. I felt such a mixed bag of emotions towards the FMC and when the time jump happened, I felt further disconnected from not just her, but the story as a whole.

I'll be blunt: the second part of the book (or more like 3/4 way through the book) ruined this for me. I understand the importance of seeing the story of the "after" but I hated it. I think it went from being an interesting exploration of survival and humanity to the superficial experience of society marking you as a hero for surviving. I get that this is also the point: the further examination of how society is in (the character's) reality vs. the truths they realized about the societies they had grown in and how wholly unprepared they were for the battlefield of survival. I get that, but I still disliked it. From there, I felt like the story dragged and my attention wavered even more.

And don't get me started on the ending--the page I thought was going to be the last page was a better last page than the actual last page.

Overall, I liked the first half of the book. Despite the dark aspects, the gut churning choices, and the heartbreaking conclusion, I enjoyed that part. The second part of the book brought the whole story down for me.

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15. Fake Dates & Mooncakes by Sher Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

FAKE DATES AND MOONCAKES was a pretty straightforward and easy read, but listen, it was FUN. This felt like I was experiencing a K-Drama or C-Drama. It was such a good time--the dramatic twists, the threats against the middle class guy dating the rich guy, and the CRAZY RICH ASIANS-like trip and event? Freaking amazing. LOL the love interest literally waits for the MC outside of his school standing by his Ferrari. This is juicy Asian-drama level stuff and I ate. it. up.

The romance was adorable and sweet and I won't lie, I sometimes forgot these were teenagers--not because of anything gross, but because these two were so mature in their actions and how they interacted with each other.

The familial relationships were so sweet and I loved how they clearly had each others' best interests in mind whenever something pivotal happened. They were adorable and I loved them.

Reading this was like experiencing some of my favourite Asian dramas again, with a dash of CRAZY RICH ASIANS. It wasn't an earth-shattering read, but five stars for solely being entertaining and making me smile with giddiness. If you want a cute gay story with some truly cute moments, then you might like this--especially as a read for when the warmer weather finally returns!

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Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

[golbrocklovely]

I hope that K and M friendship didn’t end just because M wanted to be with Colby. Call me crazy, but they have been childhood friends and as much as we all love Colby, he is not worth ruining something that lasted that long ( and if did, then i think it’s clear that the friendship was strong and real). Actually no men is worth ruining your friendships, no matter how hot he is. Of course we do not know what exactly happened, but i have weird feeling that it might in a way involve both s and c. Cause since k and S had that weird break up, we didn’t see girls with each other. K clearly distancing herself and M staying with snc. And it shouldn’t matter, cause s and k past relationships that probably led to snc disliking k, shouldn’t influence M and K friendship. M can be still be with C and friends with K. I just hope that the girls are won’t regret that decision, cause i have a feeling that c and m won’t be “forever”, although it would be super lovely if they would (sometimes people have that feelings of smth yk… well, that’s mine). Even if i found some of their behaviors weird (well mostly K), i wish they could resolve things and just continue to be friends. You can have twi things at once in this case, you are adults ffs. We ain’t in middle school:

friendships ending are never over just one singular thing. it's always because of multiple things, so even if for argument's sake katelyn and malia aren't friends bc malia "chose" colby/snc over her, that wasn't the soul reason for their friendship falling apart.

obviously, i don't think we will ever truly know what went down or why things ended they way they did. but i do have a bit of a guess

all of this is just my speculation and not based on any real facts so take my opinion with a grain of salt. i'm not saying i'm right, just saying this is what i think.

so, from what i've been able to somewhat gather, the girls and the boys were all seen together last on or around july 4th. that's when malia and katelyn posted that one tiktok in the all white fits. they were all on a date somewhere. even sam posted a thing on his story hanging out with her at their new house. however, by july 17th-ish, katelyn posted on her tiktok story that things in her life had become very weird and muddy and she was confused on what was happening and so she was gonna go see pythian priestess to get a reading.

snc around that time were out filming hell week at farrar school.

my guess is this: things were fine for the first half of july but then suddenly before their trip, sam dumped her for whatever reason. and then immediately left to go film hell week. and as much as i love sam, he's a dick bc this is now the second time he's done something like this (literally did the same shit to kat as well, where they broke up and then he left to go film content in or around the same time as the break up). sam ignores her grieving and confusion, and so she's left trying to figure out what the hell happened.

not even a month rolls by and you got him seen out with a new girl, where he goes to venice beach and watches the sunset with her. now, is it possible this girl was a friend only just helping out a bro with a weird fear he's always had? sure. but i don't think katelyn saw it that way, and neither did really anyone in the fandom.

and it's made worse when said girl posts pics of this thing on insta the next day, liking comments talking about sam and whatnot. and literally the day before this happened, katelyn and sam unfollowed each other on insta. so the timing is just all very messy. i think that made katelyn upset, and so that's when she posts that pic of sam kissing her with the caption "felt cute might delete later". that whole drama happens, but bc sam is a bit of a petty betty, he let's the fans go buckwild on her bc in his eyes she made him "look bad"/embarrassed him.

but i still personally believe he went far beyond whatever weird ass behavior she pulled bc he literally liked a post shitting on her even tho in his comment he wished her well and then tried to make it seem like they had been broken up for a while when "a while" apparently only meant a fucking month AT MOST. and then on top of that, him liking that post shitting on her gave his fans the green flag to hate on her more than they had been for the entirety of their relationship.

and i think her doing this, that post and then little other things she did (like reposting a clip of them hanging out together but with him not in the vid, making the post her icon at one point, and a couple other things i just don't remember at this point) made malia keep her distance from her for a while. but i think that upset katelyn more bc… you're supposed to be my best friend, why are you essentially siding with my ex just bc i was sort of petty?

that or when katelyn wanted malia to reach out and ask her what was wrong, she didn't do that, and that just made the friendship break down more. and that's why they aren't friends anymore. and that's also why katelyn is still somewhat shading snc. well, mostly sam.

obviously, there is probably about a million other things that most likely went down that we don't know about - again, not saying i'm right. i'm just saying this is what i think happened.

i don't think malia chose snc over katelyn, but i think that's what katelyn feels. if what i think actually did happen, i think malia just didn't want to get involved in the drama of it all, but that just registered as her picking a side.

but i could be wrong. do i think something like this can be fixed? sure, but there's a lot of communication that needs to take place and idk if either party involved want to do that. so for now katelyn will continue to be petty and malia will say nothing. and sam will add in his passive aggressive shit once in a while when he feels like it.

this is also assuming katelyn doesn't go off the deep end and air out his dirty laundry lol

[shallowseeker]

You know what's crazy ( ⊙_◎) ? Literally everybody and their momma said to Dean that Cas is in love with him, But at the same time we kinda have just as much saying Cas doesn't have feelings for him. Most iconically Naomi (which honestly slay for her),Pamela kind of , and just as much blaming dean for cas's "downfall", Ishm, Uriel, Hael. Demons knowing abt it.

Would love to know abt your theories on how they know that Cas was specifically in love than deep friendship

Hello! I hope you don't mind me adding your second part to this:

Pt2 I got kind of more to say but sent too quickly, anyways! Like angels can understand emotion especially the ones more in control, angels have felt before, Lucifer and anna and other fallen angels so it's not like it's a new concept and that cas was unique in that matter but yea curious on why you think the angels knew cas was specifically in love

///

This is a lovely ask, and I struggled to do it justice all week and I...just can't. So my answer will run the gamut of all the vibes. I hope you don't mind! :D

Biggest giveaway?

Cas's default is -> he's a big dick

The theorem: As Cas is to Sam (read: mean), Cas is to most everyone else.

Support: Cas was by Ishim's definition, "the angel's angel," he exemplified everything warrior-angels should be. In the words of Naomi: "swift, brutal, no hesitation."

Behavior: Sam is Cas's friend, but Cas is also kind of a dick to Sam. He gets annoyed with Sam, even pretty late in the series, especially when Dean's not around (when Dean went to AU world, Cas was abrupt with Sam, rolling his eyes and making lil digs, especially when they're interacting with Gabriel). And well, the crux of my argument is that think that's actually his default with all angels/people.

Dude was stationed with Uriel. At one time, they were the biggest assholes in the garrison, okay?

This default serves to highlight the ones he's gentle with:

The list of the people Cas "babies" is vanishingly small (Dean, Meg, Samandriel, Claire, Hannah, Charlie maybe, Jack, Mary, and eventually Rowena, only occasionally Sam). He's much meaner with his actual friends, and almost all of his close friends are a little mean.

That's my fun answer, anyway. :-D

My serious answer is, however, a little contrarian...I hope you don't mind, but I wanted a little variety today. I'm not gonna support all this with text like I usually do, but it's one of the things I'm going to focus on in my next rewatch. Maybe!

TLDR for below; I don't think a lot of people really knew. We confuse misrepresentative-innuendo and conceptualized-loyalty for “romantic” understanding at our own risk.

///

I don't think everyone and their mother actually knows that Cas is in romantic love with Dean

Or at least...not in the capacity that certain phrases are emphasized in fanon.

That's not to say I don't think some characters suspect. I do.

But I think some of the soldier-angels shriek moreso over shifting loyalties and perceptions of corruption. They perceive the shifting of Cas's loyalty to the human family as corruption and abandonment.

In fact, I think Cas bedding down with his human family could be a sore spot for the angels in particular; it's like God abandoning them for humans all over again. I'm not so sure they view that abandonment as romantic...only that Dean is the root of the problem.

TLDR; I think most recognize it as devotion, but I don't think it's well-parsed, especially for the soldier-angels. I think their assumptions run the gambit, from fealty to devotion to fanatical, and I can easily, easily see them viewing Cas's allegiance to Jack with the same kind of unhinged grief.

//

In the world of SPN, I think much of the romantic and sexual needling comes down to warring power dynamics and simple verbal sparring/one-upmanship

Characters will do anything to get the upper hand and feel in control in a dicey situation, and those barbs often come in the form of misrepresenting, diminishing, and disrespecting other characters' relationships, whether those are relationships with their parents, siblings, friends, comrades, or other loved ones.

In SPN, we get numerous equal-opportunity jokes about sexual attractions, incest, love, affection, weakness, etc etc etc.

TLDR; I think the one-off innuendos are often not a real commentary on the truth of any relationship but simply...disrespect.

//

Some examples to consider:

Balthazar - Often held up as proof that Bal thinks Castiel is "in love with Dean," I don't think Bal's line "The one in the dirty trenchcoat who's in love with you" means much at all. I actually think Balthazar's one of the least cognizant of parsing the complexities and differences between romantic/filial/friendly/etc emotion. (He's also a gloriously morally gray dude, our first meeting with him is him taking possession of a child's soul, after all.)

I mean, sure we got Balthazar saying Cas "is in love with you (Dean)", but we also got him calling Cas Sam's boyfriend. Either my man Balthy does not parse the complexities of relationships, or he's just...simply being disrespectful and diminishing Cas's relationships to his human fam in any way he can. It's about the one-upmanship in the conversing.

I don't see a of of compelling evidence that even angels like Balthazar parse Castiel's emotions on anything more than a superficial level.

///

Hael - "When Castiel first laid a hand on you, he was lost!" I tend to file this one under assumptions of fealty and mission-oriented devotion. Yes, they fear Dean has a corrupting effect. But you could argue the same about Jack. That when Cas laid a hand on Kelly's stomach, he was lost—became a terrible weapon laid at the feet of the child instead of Heaven.

So, I'm not sure that the desperate bleating of warrior-angels can be conceptualized as romantic. I think it's far more likely to be mission-oriented. They want Cas to have devotion to The Authoritarian Company/War Machine and they perceive Cas's "new" human-oriented locus of morality as Needy Little New Family.

It's the same way authoritarian governments seek to sunder "blue-collar" soldiers from their families, purposely stationing them away from their hometowns so their loyalty is divided and dehumanization of the enemy gets easier, too.

A war machine like Heaven wages an overwhelming, all-encompassing war. The British Men of Letters and Hell are big war systems, too. American hunting is a medium war, their guerilla tactics and case-by-case approach a smaller scale, still. A family is an even littler one. (Kelly Kline's name, in fact, means "little war.")

///

Crowley - In season 10, we get Crowley needling Cas about burning through his grace to "save his boyfriend," but he also jokingly calls Sam "Dean's wife."

At core, it's disrespectful teasing, seeking to misrepresent, to get a reaction, to have power in the conversation. That's kind of Crowley's MO. Just because Crowley says something sexual doesn't mean we make the assumption that it's true. People that are verbally sparring, and especially men that are in a tense power dynamic, talk like this all the damn time, especially when we're mixing social classes. It can get real crass and real mean...real fast.

It doesn't mean it's meaningless in the context of being revelatory. Crowley and Rowena both desperately want to be included in any social group they can worm their way into, and quite badly, so there's often real emotion hidden within their barbs.

My point is you have to consider the source and speech patterns of that character before taking that ball and runnin' it downfield.

///

Innuendo, innuendo...

Another example is Zachariah's "erotically codependent line" with regard to his brothers. This barb has the sole purpose of invoking a class stereotype to make Adam lose hope and respect for his "lower class" bros. It's literally the classist "hurp-durp-Alabammer-cousin-fuckers" trope.

I personally tend to take innuendo primarily for what it is: incessant, pathetic barking.

In general, I take the demons' words with a grain of salt. They're always coming from the weak position and always hurling as much innuendo as they can to undermine and disrespect any relationship.

Even the demon Cas sits with in season 14 who says, "How'd you lose Dean? I thought you were joined at the everything," is just a crass attempt to have power when conversing. He could just as easily have made this comment about Jack or Mary or Claire and landed the same with respect to have a tonal upper hand.

Strategically, they don't have to assume Cas is in love to recognize the weakness of caring. They can say anything ugly about any person he appears to care about.

And very generally speaking, innuendo is typically lobbed from a weak/insecure position. The saying goes:

"The louder the bark, the weaker the bite."

Take for example, my man Crowley and my homegirl Rowena--almost always coming at a situation from the weak position. Crowley lobs barbs, innuendo, and faux-affection left and right. (So do other "scrappy" characters, like Dean, Rowena, Bela, every demon, Balthazar, etc)

Generally, we see this speech pattern emerge from Hell-oriented characters, which makes perfect sense, as Hell is the bottom "rung" of society, and Hell-oriented characters and witches often have the weakest social currency. These characters've got the biggest chips on their shoulders!

///

Mary vs Dean's speech patterns

Despite their similar natures, this is a big, very fascinating personality diff between Mary and Dean Winchester. Mary prefers to attack from the stoic strong position (more like Cas, Sam, etc), and she rarely mouths off. Dean is more drippingly sexual and "mouthy" because he's used to being IN the weak position. (Mary had a stabler homelife, we can suppose, at least when it comes to this.)

"You're the bottom in the relationship!" Crowley barks at Cas in season 6. Meanwhie, Cas isn't even threatened, thinking to himself quietly in TMWWBK, "I was stronger and smarter than him." Not threatened in the slightest. It bites Crowley in the ass eventually too, "You like to bend 'em over quick, don't you?" he laments at the beginning of season 7.

Likewise, Cas too gets more verbal when he's coming from the weak position with other angels. Take for example Michael in season 15, "In the worlds of a friend, you had a whole oak tree shoved up your ass." Cas rarely engages in this kind of false bravado, preferring to keep his aces up his sleeve. But with Michael, he is definitely coming from a strategical weak position with a goal in mind: goading Michael to act.

Goaders and Goad-ees

There are exceptions to the rule, like when you get sadists such as Alistair, Lucifer into the mix. I think more often than not, the goaders and the goad-ees reveal structural weak-strong dynamics.

I'd even argue that Lucifer's volatility keeps him in an emotionally vulnerable position in perpetuity. He's almost always trying to get reactions from those around him because he "needs love, he had a jakced childhood." We see this with Cas, and the effectiveness of his gray-rocking with Lucy. In season 12, getting a reaction from Cas becomes a stand-in for getting a reaction from Chuck.

///

So, that's my opinion.

I think most of the screeching and barbs are mostly power dynamics in action, not proof of knowledge per se and certainly not proof of understanding the nature of how deep Cas's feelings go

Are there exceptions? Sure.

A few of them, like Anna and Samandriel and Hannah, seem aware of Castiel's "too much heart" but I'm not super convinced that they conceptualized this as being about Dean in particular so much as about being who Cas is as a person with respect to his past rebellions.

Uriel knew something was up, I think, but it's hard to tell if his needling was more disrespectful like Balthazar's or not.

Naomi knew something was different for sure. Interestingly, she seemed aware of both Dean's and Cas's feelings, which makes sense as her work is in intel.

On that note, I think it’s interesting that the ones who truly conceptualize Cas's feelings tend to also recognize Dean's. Very few truly "knowledgeable" characters see one side in a vacuum.

I'm not sure that Ishim contextualized love outside of obsession, but he was jealous and seemed particularly jealous that Dean appeared to return the feelings, "That's what I thought." implies that.

I think of all the characters, Lucifer knew. He's got one of the higest cognitive empathies in the show. He knows it so well, he doesn't even need to resort to innuendo to tease them about it. (See the simple, effective: "CAS!") Same with AU Michael. Like Naomi, they seem to know and acknowledge both sets of feelings.

///

Close family and friends

Beyond the scope of this, but I think a lot of the fam n' friends knew what was up to some degree, but that didn't typically come out in the form of disrespect or teasing once they knew about it for real, especially characters like Bobby, Mary, etc. Eventually Rowena, Crowley, Ketch etc probably could tell something was up.

Now, are soldier-to-soldier relationships life-of-death kinda intense? Yes. Because of this, I think some neurodivergent characters that are more "cerebral" when it come to emotions (*cough* Sam) could be a little slow on the uptake. :-)

[i-am-baechu]

Chapter Eleven: The One About Trouble

Summary: “Did you just ask me if I sell coffee in a fucking coffee shop?” And with that, Taehyung was smitten by the Barista in the crazy flower sweater vest. Friendships will form but most importantly Taehyung will finally meet his soulmate. 

•——————•°•✿•°•——————•°•✿•°•———•

Genre: Idol au, strangers to lovers au, barista reader!, slow burn (friends with benefits to lovers kind of), semi-short storyish format, friendships, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

Main pairing: Idol! Taehyung x Barista! Reader 

Side ships: Hoseok x OC 

Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, homophobia, smoking cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol usage

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

•——————•°•✿•°•——————•°•✿•°•———•

Three days wasn’t enough but it was better then nothing is how Taehyung saw it. He wanted to be with her for at least a week but his manager told him that was impossible. He had a tour and even though he loves Armies, he just wanted some time with Y/N. In the three days they had, they went on dates or they had sex at her apartment. What else can a person want? It was perfect until Nikki walked in on him eating her out, that ruined the whole romantic aura. 

Saying goodbye was hard. He knew Y/N was upset because she couldn’t go with him to the airport, their last goodbye was in their apartment. She tried her best not to cry but he saw her tearing up and it broke his heart. The two cuddled for the final hours and kissed before he walked out of her door. It was sweet but sad. 

On the flight to Japan, Taehyung was stuck in his thoughts. His thoughts were clouded with Namjoon and this whole mess. The fact that he was too chicken to tell Y/N that he loved her and he didn’t know when he would see her again. It was a lot of emotions to feel especially when you're by yourself. When the plane landed, he had to force a smile or look relatively okay. He didn’t want to worry the fansites that were waiting for him. He couldn’t afford more rumors. When it was spread that he was going to New York, people were confused. He had a concert in Japan, what business did he have in New York? The answer they gave out was it was private business. It was annoying that people wanted to know what he was doing 24/7 but he couldn’t be shocked. He was an idol, a famous idol at that. 

He walked into the hotel with his staff showing him his room in a rush. The hotel staff were trying to take pictures of him and they didn’t want people saying the small hickies on his neck. He walked into his room and smiled when he saw Jimin waiting for him with food spread out on his table, “Welcome back!~” 

Taehyung smiled at him and gave him a peace sign, “I didn’t want to come back but here I am.”

Jimin gave him a hurt look and let out a small gasp, “You wanted to leave me. Why because you were fucking Y/N?”

“Why would you think that?” 

“You have that glow of getting your dick wet.” 

Taehyung rolled his eyes and rolled his bag near his bed. He took off his jacket and tossed it on the bed, “What’s been going on while I was gone?” 

“The usual...well.” 

“Well, what?” 

Jimin took out his phone and handed his phone to him, “There’s a K-pop news page that tweeted out that armies saw you with Y/N. Holding hands and kissing...so far, the company doesn’t see it as a threat to anything because it's not a popular account. People just think it's people talking out of their asses but Namjoon saw it and wasn’t happy about it.” 

Taehyung took the phone and raised his eyebrow at the tweet, “I mean there are no pictures attached so that makes me feel better...why is Namjoon upset?” 

“He thinks you're just doing shit without thinking.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and handed his phone back to Jimin, “I was covered up and no one came up to me. If they saw me, so what? I’m an adult and I’m allowed to date.” 

“No one is saying you can’t...we just want you to be careful. I don’t want to see Y/N get hurt.” 

“She won’t get hurt...what did the others say?” 

“Everyone just agreed we didn’t want to see Y/N get hurt. Namjoon is just upset...” 

Taehyung sighed and sat on the bed with a frown, “What should I do?”

“Talk to him in the morning. Don’t fight.”

“I won’t fight...I think.” 

Jimin sighed and sat on his bed, “Taehyung, no fighting. Please.” 

“I won’t.” Unless he starts one. 

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . * 

Taehyung wasn’t nervous like how he usually is meeting his leader in private. He felt more annoyed. He understands that he would be upset if he was ruining the group's image or something but he wasn’t. There were no pictures of him with Y/N so it was just a brainless rumor (even though the rumor was true, no one needed to know that). He couldn’t tell if Namjoon was upset with the group or if he was upset because he was with Y/N. 

He knocked on the door and heard a low “come in”. He opened the door to see Namjoon sitting on his bed watching his tv. Taehyung let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck, “Joon, you wanted to see me?” 

Namjoon muted the television and looked at him with a small smile, “Hey, I just wanted to talk to you.” 

Taehyung nodded his head and walked deeper into the room with the door closing behind him. Sealing his fate. He sat in the chair in the corner as Namjoon sat across from him. The quietness in the room was making him uncomfortable but he didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to start the conversation on whatever he wanted to talk about. Namjoon sighed and leaned forward a bit, “Tae, there are rumors of you with Y/N.” 

“There were no pictures, it's just pointless words.” 

Namjoon shook his head and looked at Taehyung with a serious look, “It’s not rumors though, it's the truth. You can’t just walk around like you’re not famous.” 

“I was covered up...listen no matter what I do, they're going to follow me or make rumors up. I just want to live my life.” 

“You can live life-”

“Apparently I can’t. Y/N was covered, no one saw her.”

Namjoon sighed with frustration and leaned back in his chair, “You don’t understand...you can ruin her life.”

“I can ruin her life, how?” 

“You're famous...she’s not.” 

“That doesn’t matter, I’ll protect her. I love her and she loves me.” At least I hope she does...

Namjoon stared at Taehyung with a sharp look but Taehyung didn’t look away, “Look-”

“No, you look.” Taehyung stood up from his chair and looked down at his leader with a heated look, “I don’t know if you're doing this because you like her or something but you can’t just tell me I’m going to ruin her life and expect me to be okay with you.”

“I meant it from-”

“Are you doing this because you want to be with her?” The silence in the room made Taehyung chuckle and shook his head, “Are you fucking serious?” 

“Taehyung, I’m not doing this-”

“Then answer my fucking question. Are you doing this because you want to be with her?” 

“I’m doing this because I want you guys to be safe.”

Taehyung shook his head and clenched his fist, “You're still not answering my question...Namjoon, please. Just be honest with me.” 

Namjoon sighed and looked down at the carpet. This was all Taehyung needed to see. He walked out of the room but before he left the room, he turned around and looked at Namjoon with a glare, “She’s my partner. Respect that.” and with that, he left the room. 

He didn’t go back to his room but instead, he went straight to the hidden park behind the hotel. He went to a bench and let out a deep sigh, he wanted to smoke really bad but he wasn’t going to do that. He took his phone out and called the one person he needed to talk to, “Tae, is everything okay?” 

“Baby...we need to talk...I can’t hide this from you anymore. It’s about Namjoon.” 

“Did you guys get in a fight again? Was it about me?”

Taehyung sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Yeah...it was.”

“Did I do something to make him hate me? I was always kind to him and even brought him cakes whenever I had leftovers.”

I wish he hated you, that conversation would’ve been easier, “That’s the thing, baby...”

He heard a confused laugh on the other side and he could picture her eyebrows going down as her nose scrunchies up, “What’s the thing?” 

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Oh? Then what’s-”

“He likes you.” The silence was unbearable for him and he stood up from the bench. He rubbed his neck in a nervous manner, “Baby? Are you okay?” 

“I-I’m shocked...I don’t know what to say. Is this why you guys have been fighting?” 

“Yeah. I just don’t know what to do about this because I’m crazy for you and he's my leader.” 

He heard her sigh on the other end but it wasn’t relieving any stress, “What are we going to do? I don’t want you to keep fighting with him. You guys are brothers and have been through so much together. Don’t let me ruin that.”

“I don’t know what to do. I have never been through this before and I don’t think Google can help me.”

“What did you guys get into a fight about today?” 

Taehyung looked down at his shoes and kicked a rock as he sighed to himself, “There was this Twitter account that basically started rumors that I was with my partner. There were no pictures so no one believed it so don’t worry about it. He said I was going to ruin your life because I’m famous...”

“You made my life better...don’t think otherwise. I hate that people talk about you, it’s your life you should be able to do whatever you want.” 

“That’s the life of an idol, baby. I made your life better?” 

“Of course you did...you made me happier and I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.” 

He felt his heart flutter at this confession and he wanted to kiss her at this moment, “You made my life better too. What are we going to do?” 

“I’m not sure. What did you do with your ex?”

“Oh, baby...that’s a story to tell...” 

“Did something similar happen when you were with them?”

“No...actually Namjoon was the one that helped me break up with them. Well, it was him and Yoongi that caught her cheating on me.” 

He heard a small gasp and he let out a small chuckle, “You were cheated on!?”

“Yeah with my best friend but this all happened when I first debuted so I didn’t have media attention. This is the first time I'm going through something like this.” 

“I mean there were no pictures so that's good for us but with Namjoon...I have no idea. You should talk to Yoongi, I feel like he would give the best advice on what to do.” 

“I’ll do that...Y/N, I...”

“Yes, Tae?”

“I’ll talk to you tonight.”

“I’ll talk to you tonight, bye ~.” 

He pressed the red button and let out a frustrated sigh, “It’s not time to tell her...with everything going on, it doesn’t feel right.” When will it be the right time to tell her? 

Extended Ending:

Taehyung went back to her hotel room and closed the door. He leaned against the door with his eyes closed trying to figure out his thoughts. He shook his head and went towards his bed with his shoulders slumped down. He sat on the bed and took his phone out, pure annoyance came through. He answered the phone and shook his head, “What do you want?” 

“Is that how you're going to talk to me?” 

“Aria, hurry the fuck up. What do you want? 

[your13threasonwhy]

holy shit im so mad.

!!!SPOILERS FOR SEE YOU IN MY 19TH LIFE KDRAMA AND WEBTOON!!!

(disclaimer-sorry if any of the characters names are spelt wrong or need a hyphen, i get things confused between the kdrama and webtoon)

i read the webtoon way before the kdrama came out and i am still, to this day, so emotionally attached to it like, its one of the most amazing things ive read and i still cry when i think about it too much.

so, imagine my excitement when i find out its getting a kdrama and my absolute dissapointment when i find out that they changed literally everything (this is an exaragation) that made the webtoon so amazing.

when the show came out i was basically begging my sister to watch it with me (since she hasnt read the webtoon) and we are currently seven episodes in because we had to go on holidays however, we will continue watching it (even though i spent a good hour and a half contemplating whether or not i would actually be able to watch it without combusting after i read what they changed) until the end.

so, like the the overly anxious person i am, i searched up the ending just to make sure they hadnt changed anything else apart from min-gi's character and adding han-na (who we will discuss later) and proceeded to rip my hair out after reading that they made the female lead LOSE ALL OF HER MEMORIES ABOUT EVERYONE SHE LOVED.

but before we get into that i want to talk about the things they actually did well, for example, the cinematography, casting and scenery were actually so amazing and its definitely so much better than the webtoon (however the webtoon does still have a special place in my heart) and i think possibly the only good plot change they did was make han-na the reincarnation of seo-ha's mother. as someone who despises sad/bittersweet stuff i love that they made his mother reincarnate and keep her memories even if he doesnt meet her (which i dont know if he does because im only on episode seven) because its so sweet to think that she got a chance to see her son all (sort of) happy and grown up. i also love the fact that they added more depth to her past lives and showed up more scenes of them as, in the webtoon, im pretty sure the only things we got that related to her past lives were- her and min-gi's friendship, her and doyun's 'relationship' in her first life and her being ae-kyung's uncle.

now, onto the things im sad they didnt keep in but that i could deal with, which is mostly min-gi's character as a whole and the convinience store scene with ji-eum and min-gi where they recognise each other from their past lives (which im assuming they dont do since they changed his whole character). apparently, in the kdrama, min-gi and ji-eum used to be rivals/enemies in their past life or whatever so he decides to like hunt her down and basically stalk her😭😭 and then proceed to tell her that she needs to stop speaking and being around people from her past life because it hurts them (something i will talk-type?-about in a bit).

the reason why im so mad at this is because they straight just basically made him antagonistic instead of HAVING HIM AND JI-EUM BE FRIENDS IN THEIR PAST LIVES AND HAVING HIM SAY THEIR LITTLE SECRET MESSAGE AND HER BEING LIKE 'omg someone actually remembers their past life other than me?' AND THEN HIM JUST TRYING TO HELP HER NOT REMEMBER HER PAST LIVES ANYMORE BUT BEING A LITTLE BIT MISGUIDED BUT THEN THEIR STILL FRIENDS AND THEY TALK ABOUT IT 😖😖😖. like, they just ruined his character potential so much my changing that and adding the stupid motherfucking thing about how interacting with people from your past lifes hurts them.

finally, the things i hate, buckle up folks because this is going to be as long as my dick/j. first of all, the ending and THE STUPID 'YOU CANT INTERACT WITH YOUR PAST LIVES' BULLSHIT. i think the ending and the knowing about past lives hurts people is just absolute boiling garbage because 1-it just doesnt make sense 2-it doesnt make ANY fucking sense and 3-why the fuck does she need to forget but the people from her past lives dont forget who she was as ji-eum and as her past lives??? like i would rather they all forget but they're still happy and her and seo-ha are still dating/married and they're all still close but whatever. second, the whole fucking plot change like they apparently made this whole thing that made ji-eum think seo-ha murdered her sister for some fucking angst instead of the perfectly reasonable (and just as dramatic) thing with doyun where she thinks they were married so she distances herself from seo-ha but it turns out they were sisters and her and seo-ha still get to be happy AND THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE DEAL WITH GOD (which also relates to the ending) BECAUSE IN THE END SHE ASKS GOD TO MAKE HER STOP REMEMBERING HER PAST LIVES AND SHE GRADUALLY STARTS TO FORGET THEM BUT SHE STILL KNEW SHE HAD HAD PAST LIVES AND SHE STILL REMEMBERED EVERYONE SHE CARED OUT AND THEN (if i remember correctly) SEO-HA REFUSES GOD'S OFFER TO REMEBER HIS PAST LIVES BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANNA HAVE ANY OTHER LOVE APART FROM HIS AND JI-EUM'S😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭(not sure if thats what he actually says but you get the gist) AND THEN THEY GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER INSTEAD OF HER FORGETTING LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE SHE EVER CARED ABOUT AND HAVING TO REBUILD HER RELATIONSHIPS WAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME.

in conclusion, the see you in my 19th life kdrama was absolute trash and i think they should remake it. In this essay i will

[newyorkmylife]

We’re all hurt and never wanted to be born

Let’s face it. It might be a taboo. It might be outside of the current narrative.

No one decided to come to life. No one decided to be part of this mess we call universe.

We all found ourselves on this Earth by chance. Without a purpose. Without knowing what we are doing.

That teacher who made fun of you in front of the whole classroom.

That boy who stole the girl you loved and broke her heart.

Your parents who often hurt you by setting unobtainable expectations or even neglecting you, the very own life they brought into this cruel world.

They are all idiots. They never wanted to be here. They don’t know what they’re doing and are just swimming along till their time comes to leave the planet to someone else.

Even you. And me.

We’ve hurt people and hopefully we are aware of it and can reflect on why we did it and how to improve.

Today is a day I will remember forever.

April 13, 2023. Thursday.

A 20-year-old girl that I’ve been seeing for a year as a friend confessed her love to me. I wasn’t sure about it. I had very mixed feelings. Should I have a relationship with her? I’m not ready. I’m 24 years old. Girls are starting to see me as a mature and attractive man. They talk to me first, sometimes message first. Some of them are so cute, pretty, witty or sexy. Can I give up this sea of possibility? Can I give up such freedom to be with a girl that I believe is an amazing person but that I’m not really sure I can have something more than a friendship with?

She asked me to meet her today to talk about something.

We sat at a bench in the park and told me.

“I need titles... to feel better. To deal with my insecurity.”

I get it. She’s right to ask that, but I explained to her I would like to keep my freedom for now and it’s too early for me to commit to a relationship with her. I need to date her a bit longer. Get physically closer to her.

She told me she doesn’t want to get physically intimate before we are “boyfriend and girlfriend”. Sure. I get that too. She insisted. She said she understand that I want freedom and that having titles is not so important... she said it’s not “a marriage”. She was trying to take the pressure off me but it was pretty clear that I would  see other girls while being her boyfriend. I told her I can’t do that. It would make me feel guilty. She insisted again.

Why do we need titles then? I keep asking myself this question.

If she doesn’t care that much about me seeing someone else, why don’t we just keep dating and see where it goes? If things go well, we might become exclusive later on and have a great relationship.

Then, it hit me.

I had a realization: she wanted the titles because in her head they are necessary to get to the next step. She wants to have sex with me but she won’t do it unless there are titles. I’m a bit confused. 

Somehow the story of her first time came up again. I’m so sick of it. Why would she tell the boy she likes about that? Two years ago, she fucked a stranger from the internet just so she could lose her virginity. What the fuck?

We were friends when she told me and - as a friend - I wasn’t taken aback. I know life can be hard and something brought her to do that. I supported her and told her she shouldn’t judge sex based on one bad experience she had with a stranger.

But - a couple of weeks later - she confessed and fast-forward to now, I’m here thinking that my possible new girlfriend let a stranger from the internet put his dick inside her and take her virginity when she wast just 18.

That’s really tough for me to accept. I was haunted for days by this thought. It seems like she did something so important in such a meaningless way. For a few nights - every time I laid on my bed - I felt rushes of heat throughout my body. Anger and jealousy attacking the very core of my being. I spent hours ruminating, fighting this persistent thought. My logical mind of an educated, civilized human, at war with my instincts passed by my ancestors who lived as hunter-gatherers in the savannah. Which one is right?

I asked her “If you let a stranger have sex with you then why do I have to be your boyfriend to do it with you?”

I started to get mad. Seriously. If you wanna have sex so much, let’s just fucking do it. Treat me with the same respect. Give me the same opportunity. Do not fucking try to take my freedom away just so you can get rid of the weight on your conscience. You are the one who fucked up. You had a first time that you regret and you even told your next possible boyfriend about it. Now you want to set meaningless titles just so I can give you a good sexual experience without you feeling like a whore. Well. Fuck you. If you feel you are a whore, it means you are a whore.

She kept telling me that was she did was not morally good. But I stopped her. I told her it’s ok to have sex with whoever she wants to, but it’s not ok to do it with a stranger - without a care in the world - and require me to do something special instead. I deserve to be as important. I deserve to have sex with her in the same manner.

Fuck.

I shamed her. She kept saying that she doesn’t regret it and I told her she is just trying to reinforce that concept in her head because in reality she does regret it - a lot. I shamed her for having sex with a fucking stranger. I hurt her.

The logical side of my mind tells me I did something wrong, but the instinct tells me it’s right. I do have a right to decide what girl I like and if my instinct tells me I don’t want a girl who did something like that, then I should keep off.

She kept her calm but in her eyes I could see she was shattered.

I told her I’m gonna have sex with her only if I’m not her boyfriend. She didn’t like that.

“You’re never gonna be my girlfriend!” I said.

“You’re not gonna be my boyfriend” she said.

She extended her hand and said it was nice to be friends. She still kept her composure. I shook her hand.

She stood up and started walking away. I was on my bike. I stopped her.

I felt bad inside. I knew I hurt her and told her that I didn’t wanna say things that are so hurtful. Even so, my instincts were still telling me I was right in asking her what I asked. I deserve respect.

That’s all.

That’s how it ended.

One year of friendship. One year of laughters together. One year of exploring each other minds.

It all died on an exceptionally hot day in April, as the sun was setting and the breeze was getting cooler.

[singmyaubade]

totally just friends

warning : mentions of smut and cursing

sypnosis : what's weird? we are just friends

james potter x female!reader

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

there was nothing wrong with you and james's friendship despite many people's opinions. you guys were just friends who were super comfortable with each other.

and yeah james would grab your tits or ass as a joke or you would joke about sucking his dick but it wouldn't mean a single thing.

but then there was a whole situation that came with a realization and it all started with the confession in the library,

"i like james." the entire table looked at your best friend, claire in shock.

you looked at her as if she had just made the most jaw dropping comment in the entire world.

you almost dropped your textbook, "like james cleate, james davies, like-" you started listing names.

"no james potter." she confirmed.

lily looked at you then back at claire, "claire, i mean are you sure? i understand that james can be charming but-" lily said, looking at her.

"no, i've been meaning to tell you guys, i wanted to hold off because of you know you y/n." claire said, looking at you as the rest of the group did.

"why would you hold off because of me?" you laughed.

everyone except for you knew why.

they knew because of you and james's touchy and very intimate friendship. most people couldn't tell if you wanted to fuck each other or date each other or maybe even both.

nobody responded, "come on guys, tell me." you looked over to mary, dorcas, and lily but they just looked down, not wanting to tell you.

marlene took it in her own hands, "because you guys seem like you want to fuck eachother."

you laughed as if it was a joke, "why would i ever want to fuck james? i mean come on, he's one of my bestest friends."

"but he is always kissing your neck and you are always sitting on his lap." dorcas interjected.

"it may seem weird but we have always been like that." you explained, not understanding how it was weird.

"well either way, i was just hoping you would kind of back off." claire confessed.

"what do you mean back off?" you asked, getting a little angry.

"i'm not asking you to stop being his friend or anything but kind of be less physical." she shyly said.

you could tell that she was scared to tell you this which was valid. you were extremely defensive about james and yours friendship and you could be arrogant about the topic.

you sighed, "okay."

the table looked at you in shock, "okay?" claire said, not expecting that answer.

"i mean you are my best friend and if you truly like him, i won't be "touchy" with him." you mocked.

claire excitingly got up, giving you a hug, "i will love you forever y/n l/n!"

you hugged her back, giving a slight smile, "yeah yeah."

she sat back down in her chair as you packed up your stuff, "you ready for potions lils?" you said.

all of your friends were in potions but you and lily usually attended early to be in slughorns favor for his famous club.

"yeah." lily said, getting up as you both waved your goodbyes to the group.

you guys started walking as you started thinking, were you and james that inappropriate?

"lils." you said as she hummed, "do you think james and i's relationship is actually not normal?" it sounded like a whisper.

she frowned, "i don't think you guys mean to be like that, i just think it's how you guys show love towards each other. it can be a little excessive but i know you guys mean no harm." she bumped you a little causing you to smile.

"i will follow through for claire, i would never want to hurt her." you said.

"and that's why you're amazing." lily complimented, holding your hand.

you both approached potions as you sat down in your usual seat next to james.

"isn't it my favorite slut of the year?" james joked, kissing your neck already and gripping your thigh.

you coughed, moving from his hold, looking away from him.

he looked at you confused, "uh y/n?" he said, waving his hand in front of your face.

you looked about him, not wanting to hurt his feelings, "you just haven't brushed your teeth and i don't want the many men i have on my dick to be strayed away from your slobber on my neck." you gave him a sarcastic smile.

he laughed, "yeah well, don't worry, i'm sure they will realize your many std's first." he bantered.

you pushed him as slughorn started class, talking about a new project involving an essay on pepperup potions.

you leaned over to james, “you know you are doing this entirely by yourself.” you grinned brightly.

he scoffed, “if you suck my cock, ill consider.” he said, slapping your thigh.

you could see how that was a bit out of friendship but you knew he was joking, that’s just who he was.

you rolled your eyes as slughorn have the class time to write the essay but you knew that you and james would definitely end up doing it last minute.

“okay i was thinking, the next prank we need to do is making all the seventh year slytherins only taste piss for the entire day.” he suggested.

you gave him a side eye, “james, that is disgusting.” you grimaced in disgust.

“which is why it’s so brilliant.” he boasted.

“brilliantly idiotic.” you mocked.

“you are just mad you will never be as clever, charming, and-“ james said as he was cut off.

“hey y/n!” you looked next to you to see claire standing.

you gave her a confused look, “hey claire.”

“i was wondering if i could sit with james for the rest of the class, we have a project in astrology.” she smiled, looking you in the eyes to note what she was doing.

“oh yeah sure.” you nodded as you took your stuff and got out of your seat.

james grabbed onto your wrist, “uh make sure to wait for me after class.”

“of course.” you smiled slightly, going over to sit next to marlene.

you looked at them to see claire talking to james as they both were giggling over something funny she had said.

“you’re staring.” marlene smirked.

“you’re staring.” you mocked in a stupid voice.

“mocking me does not stop the truth.” she sang.

“there is no truth to that.” you replied, “now can you explain what the potion does?” you asked, grabbing her notebook.

“not like i was reading that.” she rolled her eyes.

you spent the rest of your time annoying marlene before class ended.

you waited outside for james as he finally came out, talking to claire and the marauders.

“y/n!” claire squealed, “we had the most amazing conversation.” she whispered, “i like him even more now.” she excitingly said.

“good, im happy for you.” you tried your best to sound excited but you couldn’t ignore the tang in your stomach.

“oh and there is a party tonight so be ready after dinner.” she said as she left.

you felt a slap on your ass as james appeared behind you, “oh how much i missed you darling.” he kissed your cheek.

you didn’t know how to stop something you had done for multiple years.

“aww you are really that happy to see me?” you joked.

“no, i just missed your tits.” he groped your boobs as you pushed him off quickly, grabbing his head and rubbing his hair with your fist.

“you guys creep me out each day.” sirius said as you both continued play fighting.

you both ignored him, calming down, “so how do you feel about claire?” you asked as you both walked behind sirius and remus.

“she’s a cool partner.” he said blankly.

“okay but what else?” you attempted further.

“i mean she’s funny but not as funny as you sweet cheeks.” he gripped onto your cheek as you pushed him.

“i just realized that i would rather die than have to spend the day with the both of you together.” sirius added.

you ran up to sirius, climbing on his back, “sirius, you totally wanna fuck me.” you yelled, kissing him all over his face as held up your legs.

“wait you’re finally letting me?” he grinned.

“hell no.” you laughed as sirius let go of you and james caught you.

“james, you actually saved me.” you dramatically said.

“does that mean i can fuck you?” he asked.

you rolled your eyes, “you guys are idiots.” remus said.

“you offend my poor heart moony.” sirius said, hanging his arm over remus’s shoulder as they had their own conversation.

“are you going to the party tonight?” james hung his arm around you.

“yeah, i mean everyone else is.” you said, “what about you?”

“i am a party animal y/n, of course.” he happily replied.

you cringed, “anyways, i have to go get ready.” you said, leaving james’s arm.

“the party is in four hours?” sirius replied.

“i know, i am so gonna be late to that party!” you said, running off to your dorm.

you headed back to your dorm, talking with the group and planning our outfits.

as you did this, you couldn’t help but think about what you would do if claire and james dated.

i mean you had never thought about james romantically, maybe sexually but never romantically. but you felt a sting in your heart when you heard claire liked him.

but you knew it would be selfish and wrong to keep doing what you were doing with him while claire liked him.

so you made the promise to her and yourself to back off.

after dinner, almost everyone has went to the gryffindor common room, a silencing spell being the only thing guarding the party as well as the password.

the marauders always through these kinds of parties and made sure that nobody would ever get caught. you had always wondered how they had done it in the first place.

as you entered the room, you spotted james almost immediately. he was screaming on top of a table, being so excited as always.

if he were actually a party animal, he would be a lion, you could always hear his roar.

you could tell he spotted you immediately when you guys made eye contact.

he jumped off the table, inching towards you. you excused yourself from the girls for a second but you could see through your peripheral that claire was following behind you, seeing james too.

“my queen! you have finally returned to the castle.” he yelled, picking you up which made your dress lift a little over your ass as you yelped.

“the party just started and you are already bloody hammered.” you yelled over all the noise.

“that’s how i roll darling.” he winked at you.

you felt claire staring daggers into you as you had to act fast, “james guess what i heard?” you said.

“what have you heard madam?” he asked.

“that someone has more killer dance moves than you.” you said.

“oh yeah?” he scoffed.

“yep and she’s right here.” you said, grabbing claire closer to you.

“never took you as the dancer, brown.” he said, looking at claire.

claire blushed, “i do have a few moves.” she replied sweetly.

“then may i have this dance?” he asked, extending his hand in a prince position.

“of course!” claire beamed, taking his hand as she looked back at you in pure gratefulness.

you sighed, moving towards remus and sirius who were sitting at the couch talking.

you sit down right in between them as they moved over, “how about an excuse me next time?” sirius said, pushing you a little.

“hadn’t even noticed you.” you fakely smiled.

“care to tell me why james is dancing with claire brown?” sirius asked.

“because i set it up, they would be cute.” you replied instantly.

“are you sure you actually feel that way?” remus asked, smirking.

smartass.

you could feel the blush in your cheeks and the butterflies in your stomach, “why would i not?” you asked.

“i think we both know.” sirius added.

“i feel like i am getting tag teamed right now.” you sighed.

“i mean that can happen.” sirius said as both you and remus rolled your eyes and you shoved your hand in his face.

you went to go get a drink when you saw james laughing, dancing with claire. you couldn’t help but wish it was with you.

this party was clearly getting overwhelming so what other did you have other to get hammered?

you began drinking about everything in sight until you were completely buzzed.

you started dancing with a random guy from ravenclaw on the dance floor, feeling every bad thought slip away.

you danced for what felt like hours until all the dancing became dizzy and you began feeling like you needed to puke.

you ended up running outside to the hallways, puking completely in the first corner you see.

you heard people behind you as you looked to see who it was.

it was claire and james.

they were making out.

they could even be bothered to notice you even a little bit.

you felt completely sick to your stomach, not grasping the situation fully. you quickly ran the other way before they could notice you.

imagining it felt dizzy but seeing it felt sickening.

there was only one question though.

did you actually love your best friend?