#anti tamlin

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

Feyre: if you take me from my mate, I’ll destroy your court and everything you hold dear

Tamlin: takes Feyre from her mate

Feyre: destroys his court and everything he holds dear

Tamlin:

[azrielsshadows42]

Beginning of ACOMAF

Feyre: *crying* Rhysand: What's wrong? Feyre: I think I need to break up with Tamlin Rhysand: Mor: Cassian: Azriel: Rhysand: ... Rhysand: *confused* So what's wrong?

[nicolemabes]

Feyre said Tamlin abused her. Her friends say Tamlin abused her. Her sisters say Tamlin abused her. The author said Tamlin abused her.

Why do we allow people in this fandom to try and convince us otherwise?

[unforgivenyunjin]

Eris slut shamed Mor and Azriel almost killed him for it.

Jurian laughed at Elain being raped and Lucien befriended him.

…

Tamlin degraded Feyre and Azriel threatened him for it.

Tamlin abused Feyre and Lucien still wants to be his friend in spite of it.

How am I not supposed to believe Azriel is the better man and better option when he’s shown time and time again that he respects women and Lucien…has tried to force them back to their abusers?

[cursedeclipse]

people might “it’s not that deep” this but i think it’s concerning the amount of hate feyre has been getting in the last few years.

it used to be really popular to criticize tamlin, now new readers wont allow folks to say fuck tamlin without ten of his annoying fans being like “but rhys did this” “but feyre was mean :(“ “he deserves a redemption arc”

the rise of misogyny and victim blaming in this fandom normalizes this behavior irl. would you see an abused woman who talks back to her abuser, he shows physical violence towards her, and tell her “well you knew he would react that way. why would you provoke him?? YOU’RE THE MANIPULATIVE ONE.”

especially with the rise of alt-right talking points on tiktok, conservatism, and misogyny. you can’t convince me there isn’t a problem with the way people hate on feyre to prop up her abuser.

acotar and acomaf chronicle feyre’s journey through being a lonely girl who falls in love with a man that promises her safety when she’s never known that, and then becomes controlling and wants to hide her from the world and disempower her. it’s not up for debate. it’s not subtle, it’s very on the nose for an abusive relationship. tamlin didn’t just change over night, you were viewing him through feyre’s rose colored glasses.

when i re-read acotar, i was struck by the fact that feyre and tamlin had maybe two serious conversations where they got to know each other before they were in love. feyre has more serious conversations with rhys in acotar and is able to be herself way more with him, and she notes that herself.

it’s scary to see how misogynistic female dominated spaces in book fandoms can really get, especially with misogyny on the rise in young men. does thinking that eris or tamlin are interesting mean you hate women? no, but when you hate on their victims and treat them noticeably more charitable than you do for female characters it does!

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

This is a very long post!

These last couple of months, it’s been interesting to talk about Nesta as a character and how her subsequent characterization is so integral to pointing out the problems in the series. Whether or not you view Nesta to be ‘real’ or ‘good’ character is one thing, and often subjective. Our own personal backgrounds may muddle or influence whether we like these characters or not.

The reason why I think Nesta is an interesting character is because of how she kind of…ruins the story, or the illusion of a story we are given. There are many times in the story where I think SJM could have elaborated on the qualities that she gushes about, but she intentionally chooses not to. For example, if SJM kept Rhysand consistent, I could see him disliking Nesta and wanting to actually hurt her, but have him think about Feyre and her wants and ultimately relent to Feyre’s want. One thing about Tamlin’s abuse that I think was done well was the fact that he genuinely seems broken up by the fact he can’t control his anger, and he feels something akin to guilt, but he doesn’t stop the abuse. It highlights the effect of the victim, not the intention of the abuser. I don’t know if it was intentionally done, but I liked that element of his abuse. I also liked that the dangers that Tamlin are worried about are real – the threat is real. Why? Because I think it proves, to some extent, that we should not justify abuse, even if the abuse seems rational. It proves that in this world, these men should still adhere to the fact of self-control. How can Feyre in a relationship with Tamlin if he can’t regulate his emotions around her?

But then the story does something weird – it embodies Rhysand with these very same qualities. It also recreates Tamlin’s abuse of Feyre with…Nesta – and then justifies it. Nesta arrives in a similar position as Feyre, yet the story goes to great lengths to vilify her for not reaching out; this is a far-cry from how the story (and stans) think about Feyre. (paint scene, fire scene, solstice scene, and hiking scene). We're supposed to sympathize with the decisions being made; so much rides on the fact that the IC are doing this out of the kindness of their heart:

Did Nesta notice the faint glimmer of worry in Amren’s smoky eyes—understand how rare it was? More than that, did Nesta understand that this meeting wasn’t to condemn her, but instead came from a place of concern? Her simmering stare told him she considered this purely an attack.

We're supposed to think about the worry of the Inner Circle and not think about the way they've decided to express their worry. Its similar to this scene that we get with Lucien to Feyre about Tamlin:

“I’ve given him time,” I said. “I can’t stay cooped up in the house forever.” “He knows that—he doesn’t say it, but he knows it. Trust me. You will forgive him if his family’s own slaughter keeps him from being so … liberal with your safety. He’s lost those he cares for too many times. We all have.” Every word was like fuel added to the simmering pit in my gut. “I don’t want to marry a High Lord. I just want to marry him.”“One doesn’t exist without the other. He is what he is. He will always, always seek to protect you, whether you like it or not. Talk to him about it—really talk to him, Feyre. You’ll figure it out.” Our gazes met. A muscle feathered in Lucien’s jaw. “Don’t ask me to pick.” “But you’re deliberately not telling me things.” “He is my High Lord. His word is law. We have this one chance, Feyre, to rebuild and make the world as it should be. I will not begin that new world by breaking his trust. Even if you …”

Lucien is continually asking Feyre to place Tamlin over her own happiness; he is asking her to consider his feelings before she considers his own - partially because this is the way Lucien is characterized to handle Tamlin's abuse himself. Cassian is asking Nesta to consider the Inner Circle's intention over how she feels. Amren and Rhys immediately shame and threaten Nesta - she is valid in her anger. She has interpreted this meeting as an attack...because it was. I think its especially telling that the later scene is asking Nesta to have empathy for Amren who is arguably the most abusive, abrasive, and unproductive person in that entire meeting. The second part of Lucien's monologue end's up being true for Nesta as the Inner Circle end up doing the same thing to control Nesta's behavior -- whether that be by leveraging Elain, outright forcing her, or even the decision to withhold Nesta's power from her -- these echo the exact same plot points we see in MAF with Feyre.

Let’s compare some scenes:

It was worse than a crown, actually. Built into the box were compartments and sleeves and holders, all full of brushes and paints and charcoal and sheets of paper. A traveling painting kit. Red—the red paint inside the glass vial was so bright, the blue as stunning as the eyes of that faerie woman I’d slaughtered— “I thought you might want it to take around the grounds with you. Rather than lug all those bags like you always do.” The brushes were fresh, gleaming—the bristles soft and clean. Looking at that box, at what was inside, felt like examining a crow-picked corpse. I tried to smile. Tried to will some brightness to my eyes. He said, “You don’t like it.” (MAF: Chapter 9)

“You’re going, even if you have to be tied up and hauled there. You will follow Cassian’s lessons, and you will do whatever work Clotho requires in the library.�� Nesta blocked out the memory—of the dark depths of that library, the ancient monster that had dwelled there. It had saved them from Hybern’s cronies, yes, but … She refused to think of it. “You will respect her, and the other priestesses in the library,” Feyre said, “and you will never give them a moment’s trouble. Any free time is yours to spend as you wish. In the House.” Hot rage pumped through her, so loud Nesta could barely hear the real fire before which her sister paced. Was glad of the roaring in her head when the sound of wood cracking as it burned was so much like her father’s breaking neck that she couldn’t stand to light a fire in her own home. “You had no right to close up my apartment, to take my things—” (Silver Flames; Chapter 2)

She could barely stand to hear the crack and pop of the wood. Had barely been able to endure it in Feyre’s town house. Snap; crunch. (FAS: Chapter 21)

"He had Enough of the coldness, the sharpness. Enough of the sword-straight spine and razor-sharp stare that had only honed itself these months"

He understood. He really did. It had taken him months—years—after his first battles to readjust. To cope. Hell, he was still reeling from what had happened in that final battle with Hybern, too

Another grin as he lifted the small, wrapped parcel. “Your Solstice present.” “I don’t want one (FAS)

“Nesta forged a new Trove,” Cassian said, reining in his rage at the truth of Azriel’s words. “She could create anything.” He nodded to Rhys. “She could fill our arsenals with weapons that would win us any war.” Briallyn, Koschei, and Beron wouldn’t stand a chance. “Which is why Nesta must not learn about it,” Amren said. Cassian demanded, “What?” Amren’s gray eyes held steady. “She cannot know.” Rhys said, “That seems like a risk. What if, unaware, she creates more?” “What if, in one of her moods,” Amren challenged, “Nesta creates what she pleases just to spite us…’ (SF)

He appealed to Rhys, “You’re all right with this? Because I’m sure as hell not.” “Amren’s order holds,” Rhys said, and for a heartbeat, Cassian hated him. Hated the mistrust and wariness he beheld on Rhys’s face.(SF

“No. She knows the labor will be difficult, but I haven’t told her yet that it might very well claim her life.” Rhys spoke into their minds, as if he couldn’t say it aloud, I haven’t told her that the nightmares that now send me lurching from sleep aren’t ones of the past, but of the future. Cassian squeezed Rhys’s shoulder. “Why won’t you tell her?” Rhys’s throat worked. “Because I can’t bring myself to give her that fear. To take away one bit of the joy in her eyes every time she puts a hand on her belly.” His voice shook. “It is fucking eating me alive, this terror. I keep myself busy, but … there is no one to bargain with for her life, no amount of wealth to buy it, nothing that I can do to save her.

So much is happening here – there’s actually more scenes, but I don’t want to go and find them all. I wanted to include more similarities between Feyre and Nesta (I might make a separate post with all of those). To some extent, I think a lot of these quotes, even without elaboration echo the point I’m about to make. In quote #4, Cassian’s narration berates Nesta for not being integrated into the family and not being happy at Solsitice, but we the audience know that Nesta (1) isn’t being talked to, (2) she can barely stand the sound of the fire, (3) Feyre forced Nesta to come by essentially holding her rent over her head. And there’s just way to many parallels between how Nesta feels at the NC and how Feyre felt at the Spring Court. Nesta is drowning; she tells us that – Rhysand’s subtle anger is something she not only notices, but internalizes. She specifically mentions that she doesn’t take any of Rhysand’s positions because they were pity offerings; he’s only doing it because of Feyre. The story then decides to let him spearhead the conversations around Nesta’s autonomy. In the first quote, Tamlin's overall ignorance regarding Feyre's mental state, and her aversion to things such as the color Red were considered red flags; yet when Nesta has an aversion to fire, when she is neglected and nearly dies the story spends so much time trying to tell the audience that Cassian simply didn't know - it doesn't say anything about him.

But one of the biggest indicators of this ruin of the story is the fact that Amren and Rhys believe that Nesta should not have her power because ““What if, in one of her moods,” Amren challenged, “Nesta creates what she pleases just to spite us?” (Maas). The issue, as consistently reiterated, is a control one. They don’t trust Nesta simply because they cannot control her – that is what is highlighted as the issue in the story. Furthermore, Feyre doesn’t let Nesta know, she defers to a process that she doesn’t have to. She outranks everyone in that room; if she wanted to tell Nesta was rules would stop her – that’s literally been the way Feyre has characterized (see: Wraiths, the HL meeting attacking Beron, Tarquin and the BoB, Mor/Feyre w/ the Suriel), yet in this moment when she disagrees with Rhys – she essentially defers to his command. She simply expresses a subtle wariness and then moves on. Feyre has the power to just tell Nesta is the point that I am making here. It’s Nesta’s power; they forced her to do these tasks, and when she has one moment of autonomy in making the sword – they are argue that Rhys should make himself High King and Cassian, despite his earlier provocations, believes in this. He agrees with it. And even though I am going on this long, wordy analysis, I think a lot of what I am saying is kind of really clear In these quotes even without explaining.

To bring this back, Rhys (and Feyre somewhat) are only excused because the story believes their intentions were good (see quote #7), which conflicts with what we’ve already seen. These are…the exact same justifications we get about Tamlin; he truly believes that by making her safe, he is making her happy – but we know Feyre values truth over safety. And so the story undermines its lessons by not condemning the actions of its characters and instead leans into moralistic reasons. The argument now isn't even that Nesta isn't being abused, but stans and even the story (subtextually) believe that Nesta deserves the abuse - or that it's purely a consequence of her own immaturity, yet this is a far-cry to how Feyre is perceived in similar situations. The story argues that these characters understand that Nesta is not in her right mind - but constantly the story expects her act functionally in the face of her depression, even though the very reason the decided to lock her up is because they all unanimously believed she could not function by herself. She's expected to respond appropriately to their jabs, do missions on their behalf, train, and work at the library with no pay. She cannot leave Velaris without a Chaperone and all of her Chaporene are employed officials who are gone for the entirety of the book. No one ever actually offers to ever take Nesta out to see the town. I am seriously tired, and really concerned with the way Nesta's abuse is talked about.

[going-through-shit]

did rhys, cas, az, feyre, amren and mor not do practically the EXACT same thing tamlin did to feyre in acotar in to nesta in acosfor am i going insane?

all just a bunch of hypocrites imo

[careblairxoxo]

I still can't get over the fact that Feyre is vilified for questioning Lucian and his new friends group name when,

Lucian made fun of her MULTIPLE times, stood by and watched Feyre slowly die, and was going to drag her home, helped her abuser get her back to an unsafe house after he (Tamlin) beat her once (he went on to do it again but that's another argument) .It was only really when he found out Elain was his mate did he actually question Tamlin not when Feyre his ''Friend''' was about to die from depression and Ptsd

Jurian another member of the band of exiles also made gang rape jokes about Elain... but Feyre is the villian here.

I really can't follow your logic ...

I also find it so funny that most of these people making these comments are Nesta stans ... Funny huh

[ladydeath-vanserra]

[batboys-cumdumpster]

Tamlin stans romanticizing him and thinking he’s so great when literally everyone at the HL meeting wanted to throw him out for his verbal abuse and mockery of Feyre and sided with Rhysand who was still seen as the bad guy is so funny

Tamlin isn’t deep. You’re being a pick me bc you think you can change him or think that he’d be nice to YOU instead of how he abused Feyre.

Your problematic fave wouldn’t ever choose you and you would never be what changes them in any world they’d actually exist.

Hating the main characters of a story and loving the abusive side characters with no real redeeming qualities doesn’t make you special, it makes you cringe.

[separatist-apologist]

Feyre: Rhysand is my mate and I'm telling you this to your face.

Also Feyre: If you try and break my mating bond, I'm going to ruin your life.

Also Feyre: If you drag me back to Spring against my will, I'll destroy everything you love.

Tamlin: Break her mating bond so I can drag her back to Spring and we can start over.

Also Tamlin: I can't believe you destroyed everything I love and ruined my life!

[lilith-13x]

feyre did not destroy the spring court. she simply pointed out what was broken and let the people see it.

tamlin destroyed the spring court. he destroyed it the second he let hybern in and with every decision he made after that

[azrielsshadows42]

While Escaping Spring:

Feyre: Alright, so what's your plan?

Lucien: The fuck you mean what's my plan? My plan was to follow your plan! You dragged me into this, remember?

Feyre: Looks like we're gonna have to wing it.

Lucien: We are so dead

Feyre: C'mon, look on the bright side, Rhysand will send help as soon as he can

Lucien: D E A D

[winterinvelaris]

[unforgivenyunjin]

Friendly reminder that whilst in the Spring Court Feyre was a constant victim of severe panic attacks that everyone, including her fiancé, ignored.

The last panic attack she had there being so bad that another court had to intervene before she seriously harmed herself and the people around her.

And again, no one in the Spring Court really cared.

[nessiandefenseattorney]

Feyre: Tamlin I left you out of my own free will.

Tamlin: ….

Tamlin: ………

Tamlin: You have that?!

Tamlin: Lucien! did you know Feyre has free will?