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#then it’s FINE to leave it that way tonight
amoscontorta · 2 days
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Wine time with Sylus | ao3 | other stories in this 'series'
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Summary: Sylus invites himself over, helps himself to your first aid kit and your kitchen, manipulates you into tasting wine with him, discusses his latest business venture, and gifts you more than one present before he's good and ready to finally leave.
Notes: Sylus x gn reader, Sylus x mc, second person pov, no use of y/n
This story contains: fluff, banter, angst, mc with obvious self esteem issues, grief, self-destructive behavior, profanity, alcohol use, criminal activity, allusions to violence, sleepy kissing, biting, inappropriate thoughts regarding kitchen tools, the mental gymnastics mc engages in to avoid acknowledging or recognizing feelings on either side should come with their own warning to be honest, one very thirsty mc whose thoughts are NSFW. This part ends with a misunderstanding that you can bet Sylus will not put up with for long.
In the days following Sylus’s latest little… visit, you’re called out more frequently than usual to counter wanderer attacks. You’re barely home, and the few times you stumble home late into the night, you peel your sweat and sometimes blood-stained hunter’s uniform off right in the entryway, promise yourself you’ll do laundry soon, and drag your aching body to the shower. Then you usually spend what little night you have left lying there with your eyes closed, carefully keeping your mind blank as sleep remains elusive. You have to admit to yourself that the few times Sylus kept you company overnight, you slept like the dead, but you refuse to go so far as admitting that you wouldn’t mind if it were more frequent. If you were to admit it to yourself, which you will not,  you only yearn for it strictly for the sake of your sleep schedule, and absolutely not because you’ve come to crave his warm, comforting bulk against your body.
Tonight is no different, but you’re both looking forward to and dreading the next few days, as Captain Jenna has ordered you to take some time off to rest and recover from the brutal schedule you’ve been keeping for months now, capped off by the recent spate of increased attacks. All of your wheedling to let you keep going, that you’re fine, that the people of Linkon need you, that you need the constant distraction, has proven useless. Apparently the frequency with which you are getting injured remains acceptable, but she is finally at the end of her patience reading your barely coherent, misspelled reports with unfinished sentences that you only manage to submit before Association mandated deadlines by the skin of your teeth.
“Go home, get your head on straight, and come back rested … and literate again, please.” She looks back down at the tablet on her desk, trying to dismiss you, but you stubbornly remain at attention at her desk.
“That’s discrimination, Captain. I can be a perfectly functional hunter without being able to read or write,” you protest, while Xavier winces behind you. “I mean, obviously I can read and write, I’m just a little tired, that’s all. Still able to destroy wanderers!”
Jenna’s already formidable expression begins to darken, but you’re not cowed. You open your mouth to helpfully point out that wanderers don’t care about how well you can spell, when you feel Xavier’s gentle hand on your arm. “Come on, why don’t we go together to get some snacks on the way home? I think they’ve started re-issuing that wasabi flavored chocolate bar we tried at the beginning of the year,” he says softly, and Jenna shoots him an appreciative look before proceeding to ignore you both.
You glumly follow Xavier out into the early evening. Rush hour is over, but the sidewalks are still bustling with life. You weave through the mass of humanity, resisting the urge to drop-kick anyone who cuts you off or brushes against you accidentally. I am a role model for the Hunter’s Association, even when I’m off the clock, I am not allowed to arrest someone for bumping into me…. I am not allowed to arrest someone for…
Xavier tries to distract you from your obvious frustration by describing the plot of the latest manga series he’s reading that he thinks you’ll like as you two make your way  home. You listen absently, feeling slightly calmed by his soothing voice, despite its graphic descriptions of violence in the manga that you are pretty sure you’re going to really like.
“Are there any hot guys in it?” you ask as the mass of people begins to thin the closer you get to your building.
“Hot… guys?” he blinks in confusion, his impossibly blue eyes flashing in the streetlamps that have just turned on.
“Yeah. Like that other one we read, Help, I, a lowly office worker, went to sleep and woke up as the Queen’s assassin in the book I fell asleep reading. The main guy in that was super hot.”
“Well, it is by the same mangaka, so you’d probably like the way they draw the main character in this one too,” he says uncertainly, but with a strange expression on his face, like he suddenly doesn’t want you to read it with him anymore.
“Okay, I’ll give it a try. Have you finished the first volume yet? Can I borrow it?”
You’ve reached your building, the trees surrounding the courtyard rustling in the soft end-of-summer breeze.
“…Great,” he says after a brief hesitation. He holds open one of the entrance's doors for you to enter the your building’s foyer. Your boots and his echo on the polished floor as you make your way into the lift. “I’ll be finished by tomorrow. How about we go the bookstore and afterwards you can come over and read since we have the day off? You can start volume one, and I’ll start volume 2. Does that sound good? We can make fancy ramen,” he says, his normally sleepy energy spiking with the idea of adding a boiled egg and some frozen vegetables to the normally plain ramen the two of you consume more often than not while on the go. Xavier’s idea of fancy has always been adorable to you.
The idea of not just sitting in your apartment alone on the first day of your forced leave is a welcome one, and you agree that he can come find you when he’s woken up, so that you don’t risk waking him up. He likes this plan, because obviously, you’re hardly sleeping at all, and he sleeps longer than you ever would have imagined possible for humans until you met him. As the elevator approaches your floor and the doors slide open, you’re about to step out when Xavier’s soft voice behind you has you turning to look back at his pretty face.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs, eyes searching yours. “I know you feel like you’ve lost everything right now, and that the pain seems unbearable.”
You quickly turn your head—you were not expecting this sneak attack of sympathy and kindness from him. You nod jerkily, trying not to let his warmth sink into you, or else you might start crying.
“It sounds cliché, but with time, even this pain will fade. And you have so much time ahead of you. I can promise you that. One day you’ll wake up, and it will be slightly less unbearable. That doesn’t mean you forget about what you’ve lost. But you can think of it without… without feeling like you’re destroyed again, every time.” He’s looking at you, but you also have the feeling that he’s looking at something else, from a great distance. Knowing how secretive he is, it’s unlikely you’ll ever know what it is he’s seeing.
You nod again, and whatever he sees in you profile seems to satisfy him as he offers you a soft ‘Goodnight,’ and you scurry from the lift to your front door. You tuck away his words, and push them down deep. You know they’re well intended. But you can’t handle crying right now. Not yet. Not yet. So you focus on possible plans for the days stretching ahead of you.
There is a part of you that’s looking forward to possibly being able to rest, it’s true. But the stretch of empty days, without work and battle and the social interaction of colleagues, had been filling you with anxiety before your plans with Xavier were made. But even after tomorrow, you’ll try to make the best of it. You can… try to remember what hobbies you had, before your life blew up. Maybe you can take up a new hobby! Within the span of a few days. Yeah, you can teach yourself to crochet,or make stained glass art, in a day, right? Online videos are super helpful. Maybe you’ll even deep clean your apartment, and go grocery shopping, properly, for the first time in weeks. You’ll buy vegetables that have to be prepped instead of the hottest insta-ramen you can find and slurping packets of applesauce while telling yourself that it counts as fiber, right? You can cook, and bake! You just haven’t in… a really long time. Maybe you’ll bake an entire cake, and then eat the entire cake. Yeah. You have plans, you think to yourself, pressing your fingerprint to the scanner under your flat’s door handle and pushing the door open when it beeps.
As soon as the door closes with a soft whump, you carefully hang up your blades and pistol holsters on your wall-mounted weapon rack, and then you’re furiously undoing the laces on your knee high leather boots, hopping from one foot to the other as you try to kick them off without actually having to sit down and pull them off. You yank off your socks, then shimmy out of your pants, which you also kick off unceremoniously. You’re going to be positive about this little holiday! You’re so close to being comfortable and staying that way for days. You almost rip your buttons in your haste to remove your shirt, and just as you’ve gotten the last one undone, you finally notice the dark, looming figure in the shadows at the end of your foyer.
You’re in your fucking underpants, barefoot, and your weapons are out of reach due to your current strangulation by your own shirt sleeves.
Heart racing, you throw yourself backward against the door, prepared to make a strategic retreat and escape into the building’s hallway to buy yourself some time to free yourself from your shirt, no matter the cost to your pride at being caught out in your underwear, when familiar scarlet-ink tendrils of energy gently wrap themselves around your waist and softly lift you in the air. You find yourself kicking and squirming like a kitten picked up by the scruff of its neck.
“The fuck, Sylus?” you choke out.
“Why are you still struggling, when you can clearly see that it’s me? Cease, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Why are you using your evol on me without my consent?” you retort, wriggling some more for good measure simply because he told you to stop.
“To prevent you from giving your neighbors the show of their lives without even charging admission,” he responds languidly, eyes the color of sunlight filtering through a glass of wine drifting from your probably red, sweaty face down your barely clothed body.
“Oh, they don’t get a free show, but you do?” you sneer, continuing to struggle to no effect.
“Look at yourself,” Sylus commands, and turns his head as if bored. You note absently that he’s wearing a ruby stud earring in his ear... the one that matches the earring in your own ear. So you never bothered to take it out. That doesn’t mean anything—you’re just lazy. You refuse to think about it anymore deeply than that, and then notice that Sylus not only looks bored, but also looks almost… offended? You do as he asks, and see that his evol is wrapping itself around your body in such a way that its bright-dark tendrils are covering all of your exposed, sensitive areas like a fluid robe.
“Oh,” is all you can think to say.
“Oh, indeed.” He continues to look away from you, aggressively bored, but his evol gently lowers you enough so that your bare feet rest on the ground, and then it loosens, but remains swirling around you.
“Then I’ll… just go get dressed.” You begin making your past him, but stop when you see him nonchalantly hold up a large, elegant shopping bag. It’s black, with some brand name you don’t recognize written in flowy silver script. “What is this?” You look from the bag to his face. He deigns to look at you again. Your eyes drift to his other ear, and you see that where it is pierced is empty.
“Wardrobe options,” is all he says, jerking you out of trying to puzzle out this opaque maniac’s intentions. You take the bag from him and quickly walk to your bathroom. No way you’re going to put on new clothes while feeling filthy from a long day and night of annihilating wanderers. His evol dissipates the moment your bathroom door shuts behind you.
It’s becoming a pattern. Thinking the worst of him, only to be proven wrong. But you don’t know how to overcome the cognitive dissonance of Sylus from your first meeting, and this Sylus who seems intent on taking care of you better than you take care of yourself.
You rinse off as quickly as you can in the shower, towel yourself dry, and take a peek in the bag that he gave you. The first thing you see is a black…? You lift it out of the bag, and it unfolds into a very large sweater. It’s thick, the fabric obviously of high quality. You touch it gently, running your hands along a sleeve—is it cashmere? It’s unbelievably soft. It’s probably a nightmare to wash. On impulse, you lift it to your nose, and take a deep breath.
Your suspicion is confirmed. It smells like him. This isn’t a brand new piece of clothing. This is one of Sylus’s own sweaters that he has worn before. The scent of his clean skin, the sharp tang of gunmetal, the bright burst of citrus, probably from some ridiculously expensive shampoo or body wash. The mix sends a thrill through your entire body: after only a few encounters, you already have bone-deep associations with the way Sylus smells. Fear and adrenaline, yes, but also anticipation—and bizarrely, safety. Instead of feeling terrified, you feel the way you would before riding a roller coaster. Yes, you’ll be screaming and holding on for dear life the whole ride, but you are also inexplicably convinced that in the end, you’ll have your feet firmly planted on the ground, safe again. A part of you whispers that it’s safer to avoid the roller coaster altogether—bolts come loose, wheels pull free from the track, tragic accidents happen all the time. But standing here in your humid bathroom, bone-weary from the day behind you, sniffing Sylus’s unwashed sweater makes you feel more alive than you’ve felt in a very long time.
You pull his sweater over your head, and you’re basically swimming it, it’s so big. The collar is big enough that it threatens to fall off one shoulder. But it’s so soft. And cozy. You hug yourself, and peek into the bag again. There are a few more sweaters, each dark with varying degrees of dramatic flair. This is part of Sylus’s wardrobe, after all. But there are also little sleep shorts, like the ones you were wearing the last time he invaded your home. You pick up a pair—no way would they fit on his big ass. You try, so, so, so very hard not to picture his thick cake stuffed into these tiny shorts.
You fail.
Your brain short circuits for a few seconds.
When it comes back online, you lift out a pair, and the fabric glides silkily along your skin. You’re pretty sure these are silk. They’re black, because of course, but they also have little red … happy pomegranates? Dotted along the hems. They’re adorable. You pull them on over your own bare ass and the sweater-shorts combo is probably the softest thing you’ve ever had on your body. The sweater swallows the shorts and makes it look like you’re wandering around without bottoms on.
You look at yourself in the mirror, silently telling yourself that you shouldn’t get on this particular ride. You don’t know where the track leads, and it scares you. What if it ends over a cliff, and the last thing you ever see is Sylus’s triumphant, cruel face looking down at you as you fall? There are other, less risky rides, certainly ones without wanted posters, right? Right? On second thought, you don’t even have to go the amusement park at all. You’re just fine with trying to get some fucking sleep, with continuing to hone your combat skills, with just trying to be a good person despite really liking knives and being an enthusiastic hunter.
But maybe you can just. Be friends with the roller coaster? Like, you don’t have to ride him. IT. THE ROLLER COASTER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RIDE THE ROLLER COASTER. You can just, watch it from a safe distance. You might indulge in little fantasies about what it’s like to ride… the roller coaster. And honestly, fantasies are almost always a hell of a lot better than the reality ever turns out to be. Not to mention! Sylus has never directly expressed any desire to ride … your roller coaster. Sure, he shows up unannounced and cares for you in ways that no one ever has, and he touches you a lot for someone who has no physical interest in you, but physical isn’t necessarily sexual, right? Maybe it’s an evol thing, and the way he touches you has to do with why you both find yourself inexplicably connected for periods of time. Like charging a battery. The point is! There will be no tickets to either ride, thank you, you aren’t open for business and he definitely does not have the proper safety inspection certificates in order, so. No.
You nod firmly to yourself in the mirror. This should be fine. You can be friends with Sylus. You don’t have to let him drag you over a cliff. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from him—he seems to be pretty competent at a lot of things that might be useful for certain aspects of your job. Like intimidating people. And exploding people with a thought and twitch of his fingers. And convincing them to do things they don’t want to do by sheer force of obnoxiousness.
Having sufficiently deluded yourself into believing that your plan of action has a chance of success, you slip out of the bathroom and find Sylus in the kitchen, next to a pretty wine glass that you certainly do not recall owning on the kitchen island.
He’s slicing strawberries with a very sharp knife that you do recall owning, because you do spend quite a lot of time sharpening the set it belongs to. They’re not kitchen knives, per se; you actually have them for work and they are really nice to throw. You already had so many knives before you moved into this place that you didn’t see the necessity of spending more money on probably inferior kitchen knives. But the large, really nice butcher block-style cutting board that he’s chopping the fruit on is not yours. And neither are the delicately arranged variety of cheeses, thinly sliced meat, and savory tarts set in puff pastry that fill up most of the cutting board. And lastly, you do not recall purchasing two bottles of what look like red wine sitting next to the wine glass, nor cleaning your kitchen so thoroughly that Zayne could probably perform surgery in here without worrying about risk of infection.
Despite your presence standing at the island before him now, he continues to serenely slice the ever-growing pile of fruit.
“Sylus?”
“Have a seat,” he says, not looking up.
“Oh, why thank you for offering such hospitality to me, in my own home,” you mutter, pulling out one of the wooden bar stools at the kitchen island. You’re about to sit down when you realize that the repetitive chop of the knife has stopped, and you look up to find Sylus frozen with the knife mid-slice in a fat strawberry. His eyes drift from your neck and exposed shoulder, down the soft expanse of sweater, to your bare legs, and then back again. You’re suddenly self-conscious—he’s the one who gave you these clothes. And now he’s staring at you like a wanderer is about to burst out of your chest.
“Did I misunderstand the assignment or something?” you ask, plopping down on the bar stool in the hopes of breaking him out of whatever weird trance he’s apparently glitching in. He swallows, flicks a final look at your shoulder, and then goes back to slicing.
“I’m simply shocked that you actually did as you were told, for once,” he responds, seemingly unruffled again. “You should also put one of the sweaters in your go bag as a backup in the event that your uniform gets destroyed, again, which it does at an alarming rate these days. The Association’s overheads for keeping you clothed must be in the stratosphere.”
“Mm, yes I’m sure you’re very concerned about the costs of doing business for the Association.” You rest your head in your hand, propped up by your elbow on the counter. The two of you sit in companionable silence for a while, with only the snick of the knife filling the space between you. The lights underneath your cabinets are on, emitting a soft warm glow from below, but you notice that he hasn’t put on the harsher, brighter overhead lights. The city’s skyline blinks serenely like an endless fleet of starships in the dark expanse of space through your windows, and a cool breeze wafts in from time to time.
Finally, Sylus is done, and he carefully rinses the knife in the sink and sets it on the counter. He turns back to you.
“No interrogation regarding why I’m here this time?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s wearing a light sweater in a deep grey, of a style quite similar to the one you’re now wearing. He looks domestic, and delicious, and you tell yourself sternly that he is friend shaped, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster—
You have to say something. “Oh, are you missing my very effective questioning techniques? Sadly, I left my handcuffs at the office,” you lift your shoulders in a what can you do? gesture, and his eyes follow your bare shoulder again.
“Handcuffs aren’t the only means of restraint available to a truly resourceful hunter,” he says, shaking his head as if disappointed.  “Your lack of imagination is boring.”
“Okay, Sylus. But only because you’re basically begging for it: why are you here?”  You lift a puff pastry and brandish it at him like a knife. “Answer honestly, or you’ll really get it this time!” You take a big, aggressive bite as if to illustrate what he’s got coming to him in case of his non-compliance, and then moan because what the fuck, this is so good, is it goat cheese and honey? And suddenly you’re devouring it, licking your fingers clean when you’re done because you can’t get enough.
“This definitely counts as an enhanced interrogation technique.” His voice is low, and has a rough quality to it that normally isn’t there. You glance up from slobbering all over your fingers and find that he’s staring at you in what is probably disgust.
“Ha, yes, and I’ll keep subjecting you to it until you tell me what you’re doing in my home, again. And how did you even get in? I never got you a key.” You finish licking yourself like an animal and reach for a strawberry. If he’s going to play chef in your kitchen, who are you to refuse to enjoy the literal fruits of his labor? You just live here and pay the damn rent.
He holds up the index finger of his right hand, which is sporting a band-aid that you recognize as one of the same kind you have in your first-aid kit. They’re super cute, with a design of sad little cartoon mushrooms. “I was at my accountant’s, which happens to be in this neighborhood, and I got a paper cut while signing some documents.”
You pause before biting into the berry. “You… came to my flat. With extra clothing, wine, wine glasses, and various appetizers, in order to get a band-aid for your paper cut. Is this a correct summary of events?” You decide you’re not going to wait for him to answer, and take a big bite of the strawberry, feeling some juice drip down your chin. You catch it with your index finger, and then suck the juice off after you’re done chewing.
There is a long pause, and you look up to find him staring intently at your finger. You widen your eyes and wave your hand in the universal gesture of hurry the fuck up, get on with it already? He closes his eyes for a moment and breathes deeply. Apparently you’re so horrifying to witness eating that he needs to seek some zen before he can answer. It’s not your fault that he brought you half of his wardrobe and wine glasses but didn’t think to bring any napkins. “Yes, that is a correct summary of events,” is all he offers.
You look at him.
He looks back at you, occasionally flicking his gaze down to your mouth and back to your eyes. You consider baring your teeth at him just in case he wants an eyeful of the strawberry undoubtedly stuck in them, but refrain because you’re polite.
“Okay. Do you care to explain the motivation behind these events?” you ask slowly, thinking that maybe you will brandish a real knife at him to hurry up this so-called interrogation so you can straight up devour the rest of this charcuterie board that this wanted criminal has inexplicably prepared in your kitchen.
Fortunately, you don’t have to go for the knife, because he begins to speak. “There was a wine merchant that looked rather appealing on the way to your place. Since you revealed a deplorable lack of discernment when it comes to selecting a good bottle of wine the last time you hosted me, I thought I’d do my civic duty for the week and educate the less fortunate on how to choose, and enjoy, a decent bottle of wine.”
“I see.” You nod slowly. “That’s very civic-minded of you. You’re truly a model citizen. And the food?”
“It’s not wise to have a wine tasting without something to eat. Otherwise, you might find yourself making questionable decisions. We wouldn’t want that, would we, sweetie?” he seems to have recovered from his nausea at watching you wolf down food, because he says this with a playful lift of a silver eyebrow.
“Because letting a man whose baggage includes a wanted poster into my home whenever he wants could hardly be considered a good decision, and I made that one while sober,” you sigh. “I see your point.”
“Exactly. Just imagine what kind of trouble you could get into after a bottle of wine on an empty stomach?” He tilts his head to the side, and runs a middle finger slowly over his brow.
You shudder, because his big hands. You can’t pursue this line of thought.
“And the clothes?”
“Now you won’t need to borrow your partner’s clothes in case of an emergency. And I’ll have something to wear at my safe house in case you decide to assault me with beverages again.”
“That was one time. And if you don’t show up, then there’s no chance you’ll be assaulted. Therefore, no need for a change of clothes. And, pardon me, but your safe house? I think you meant, my flat. But what you’re telling me is that the whole reason you were coming to my flat in the first place was to put a band-aid on your boo-boo.”
He lowers his hand and begins running his thumb along his lower lip. “Even a small cut can turn life-threatening if not treated properly. And I wouldn’t want a scar, now would I? It’s not much of a safe house if I can’t make use of it when in danger of lasting bodily harm.”
“Mmm yes, what with your evol that renders scarring impossible for you, we wouldn’t want your paper cut to cause you lasting bodily harm. And you couldn’t acquire a band-aid at a pharmacy, perhaps like at the one next to the wine merchant I’m pretty sure you’re referring to?” You refuse to look at his big thumb pressing into his thick, soft-looking lower lip. You stare up at the ceiling, and consider cataloguing wanderers in your head to stem the sudden urge to vault over the island counter separating him from you and pulling that damn thumb into your own mouth.
“They didn’t have a box containing such cute little designs. I never knew I wanted anthropomorphized fungus to decorate a bandage intended to protect an open wound until I saw your own box.”
It takes you a second to remember what the hell the two of your were discussing when you realize he’s talking about your adorable little mushroom band-aids.
“A wine snob, and a band-aid snob.”
“I prefer the term cultured, but yes, I’ve told you before. Life is too short to waste on the inferior. Your sad little champignons surpass all others.”
He’s done it again. He has hardly even moved this entire time, and has managed to exhaust you to the point of blissful indifference. He shows up unannounced, rifles through your first aid kit, decides what you’re going to wear both this evening and in the future when you need a spare change of clothes, and has prepared an hors d’oeuvre spread worthy of at least a mid-ranged restaurant for you to eat while offering you a wine tasting? Fine. “Okay,” you say, reaching for another one of those puff pastries.
He watches you steadily for a few moments, as if trying to sense a trap. “That’s it?”
You shrug. “Sure. I told you that you could use my house if you needed it. I’ve just learned my lesson: next time I’ll be very careful in drafting the conditions of any deal we make, since your interpretation of certain terms appears to vary wildly from any reasonable person’s.”
“I think I’m quite reasonable,” he examines his nails. “I come bearing gifts, and this is how you show your gratitude? By insinuating that I'm unreasonable?”
Another thought occurs to you. “How did you even get in, Sylus?”
“Ah,” he says, squinting and looking out the window, as if contemplating a very deep philosophical question. “While you were sleeping last time… I took the liberty of adding my fingerprint to your door’s fingerprint scanner.”
What. The. Fuck. “What. The. Fuck.”
“Again, it’s not much of a safe house if I can’t access it without your presence. I didn’t think you’d mind. It’s not like I can’t just use my evol to teleport into your place anyway, but I thought you’d appreciate me coming through the front door. Fewer feathers. You didn’t seem to like cleaning those up the last time I teleported out of your place.”
You just stare at him. How would he even know that you cursed him, loudly, as you were mopping up the mess of blood and feathers he generously left in your entryway after being shot? And then it comes to you. Mephisto. Of course. You pinch the bridge of your nose, and visualize violently shaking that bird until his circuits are rewired.
Sylus continues, ignoring your mounting rage. “Come to think of it, we should probably upgrade your locks, kitten. It was laughably easy to override the system and add my print as authorized for entry.”
Forget riding the Sylus coaster—you think that maybe he isn’t even friend shaped after all. He might just have slid right back to enemy shaped. Frenemy shaped? Where does a frenemy lie on the spectrum of “fuck his brains out” to “polite, but distant acquaintances?” But then you remember that it’s not a linear spectrum, and fucking his brains out is not mutually exclusively to being mortal enemies. You’ve read enough enemies-to-lovers romances to know that perfectly well, so even if he is enemy shaped… you shudder. Why are you like this? You redirect your self-disgust and deflect, like a true emotionally well-adjusted adult:
“Why can’t you be normal? Like, do you do anything like a normal person?”
“Why would I pretend to be normal when I’m so obviously extraordinary?” he scoffs, looking at you like you’re the unhinged one in this little situationship.
 “Sylus.”
“Yes, my heart’s delight?”
You stare at him, and he gazes back at you, leaning leisurely back against your counter, arms folded and long fingers slowly tapping out a rhythm on one bulky bicep. You know that if you remove his authorization on your locks that he will just teleport himself right into your place, and you’ll be endlessly cleaning up feathers. And you also really don’t want your neighbors to wonder who the hell the creep is loitering around your door at all hours of the night and then start asking questions if he actually honors your request not to simply appear in your place on a whim. You did previously offer him a key. Which he declined. Apparently because he was already planning this. You run your hand along the back of your neck in an effort to relieve some tension. “You can’t just let yourself into my place anytime you want. There need to be rules.”
“Fair enough. Provided that they’re not moronic, I can follow your rules.”
“And who decides whether they’re moronic or not?” you ask, knowing the answer.
He just smiles at you, radiating satisfaction.
“Okay. Rule number one—” you begin, only to be interrupted as he lifts a finger.
“I’ll follow your rules, if you promise to taste the wine I brought with me tonight.”
Even though you had already resigned yourself to whatever he had in store for you tonight, you can’t help arguing at this little added condition. “No, the deal is, you can use my flat, with your fingerprint, when you need it, if you follow the rules,” you huff.
He starts shaking his head. “I’m afraid not, kitten. You should have set rules at the beginning of our deal. You can’t just impose new conditions halfway through. A deal’s a deal. I suggest keeping that in mind the next time you have to deal with anyone else less… generous, than myself,” he intones, as if you’re a somewhat lacking student in need of instruction.
“So you’ll follow the rules if I promise to… taste wine tonight?” you ask, hoping that you can catch him out on a technicality and beat him at his own game. He considers for a moment, but must see something in your expression, because his eyes narrow and his smile widens to reveal his sharp canines.
“I’ll follow your reasonable, and not moronic, rules if you promise to taste the wine I brought tonight, with me,” he says.
You need to work on your poker face. You need to get Sylus to teach you how to improve it. Ugh.
“Fine.” If this means more food can happen soon, and honestly, yeah, a glass of wine, you’ll accept anything at this point.
He straightens from the counter and claps his hands once, looking more eager than you think you’ve ever seen him. “Excellent, let’s begin.”
“You didn’t even wait to hear what the rules are,” you protest, watching him fish out a wine corkscrew from his trouser pocket. It looks heavy, with a handsome wooden handle, and the stainless steel flashes under the soft lights.
“Send them in a text, I’ll redline them and return them to you, you can counter, and so on and so forth until we have an agreement. Like any proper contract negotiation. For now, it’s wine time.”
And with that, he sets to work opening the wine, humming a little tune so off-key that you have no idea what melody it’s supposed to be. It occurs to you that you’ve never used a corkscrew as a weapon, but as Sylus uses the small blade to slice through the foil covering the neck of the bottle, and then unfolds the lethal-looking twisted screw and begins expertly driving it into the cork, you realize that it could come in really handy in a fight. And there’s something else that’s really appealing to you—the combination of the contained savagery of the corkscrew, the assured movements of Sylus’s hands, the penetration of the cork—you feel a warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the sweater you’re wearing.
“See something you like, kitten?” Sylus’s smoky voice drifts into your thoughts, and you look up, realizing you’ve been unabashedly staring at his beautiful hands, again, and the corkscrew, with undivided focus for the past few moments, and he has noticed.
You clear your throat, and then gesture weakly at the corkscrew. “That’s uh, a very nice looking wine opener.” You nod to emphasize your very normal approval of this very normal household item, because you are not thinking any thoughts about Sylus’s huge hands or screwing or penetration. None.
“Good eye. I’m rather fond of this model. I’ll have one delivered to you,” he says as he firmly pulls the cork from the bottle with a soft pop. He sets it on the counter, and picks up the other bottle.
“Oh, that’s not necessary. I’m sure it didn’t escape your notice that the kind of wine I drink tends to come with a screw cap instead of a cork,” you decline, shaking your head. You can buy your own damn self a corkscrew for tucking into your pocket if you ever find yourself at a wine bar that doesn’t allow patrons to be armed, but you anticipate needing some kind of weapon.
“Refuse me all you want,” he murmurs, and you feel like there’s an implied part of that sentence that he’s just not saying out loud. But then he’s repeating the opening process with the second bottle, and you suddenly find the night view outside your window immensely fascinating, because whatever is continuing to happen in front of you is just. Boring. Utterly sleep-inducing. You can’t look or else you might just pass out from the tedium of it before you even get to taste the wine. And a deal’s a deal, as Sylus is fond of repeating ad nauseum.
After hearing the soft pop of the other bottle, you sigh and turn back to find Sylus holding the wine glass and pouring the first bottle’s wine along the inside of the glass until it reaches the widest part of the bowl. For the first time, you notice that there’s only one glass on the counter. But before you can comment, Sylus begins to lecture.
“Now, if this were an ideal tasting, I’d have brought a decanter to let the wine breathe properly for an appropriate period of time before pouring. We'd also be using a container for spitting each mouthful out in between tastes, to avoid the intoxication and poor decisions I mentioned earlier and interfering with our judge of taste. But since we only have two bottles to try, and it’s just you and me here, I took the gamble that you wouldn’t mind if we were a little less formal.”  
You wait to see if he has any other fun facts to share, but he’s looking at you to confirm that indeed, you can live with not waiting even longer to taste this wine that better have gold leaf flakes in it or something to justify this amount of ceremony and can also live with not… spitting out said wonder wine after tasting it.
But you recognize that Sylus appears to be truly passionate about this, and he’s looking at you so earnestly—you do not have the heart to meet his sincerity with sarcasm, when he's so sweetly trying to teach you something new.
“Your gamble paid off. I don’t mind at all,”  you say, meaning it. He perks up and gives you one of his almost smiles, with just the corners of his generous mouth lifted. He then proceeds to explain, in great detail, what type of wine this is, where the grapes for it are grown, its signature characteristics, what year it was bottled, and how it was received by the international wine community. It’s all actually quite interesting, except once again, right now you’re at the end of a long day, you’ve run the gauntlet of interacting with this unpredictable force of nature walking around in the body of an extremely attractive man, and you feel like you should be taking notes to actually retain any of this information.
After he seems to have informed you to his satisfaction and is looking at you expectantly, you nod. “That is… very fascinating. So how do we go about actually tasting it?” You might be an uncultured heathen, but even before Sylus’s lecture, you knew there are rules when it comes to tasting wine. You just always had other things you needed to learn first, like the weakest spots on a wanderer or human body. Or the best method of sharpening knives for the sharpest edge. Or how to clean guns to prevent jamming. How to affix a scope on a sniper rifle and measure the effect of wind speed and direction on a bullet’s trajectory. Or whether you should use baking soda or baking powder as leavener when baking certain kinds of cake. You have priorities. But tonight, it seems, is the night for you to learn about wine.
Before he answers, he moves around the kitchen island to where you’re still seated on the bar stool and leans down, gently spinning your stool so that you’re facing him instead of the counter. He then pushes the one next to you closer and seats himself. Even sitting, you have to look up into his face. You suddenly realize that the way he has positioned the stools puts him so close to you that his long legs don’t have anywhere to go—he just spreads them so that one is stretched out on one side of you, and the other is between your own, his knee incredibly close to your lap. If you shift forward even a little, you could grind on him.
Why is he doing this to you? What does he want? But then it occurs to you that Sylus has never seemed to either recognize or respect boundaries like a normal person—maybe this is just how he interacts with his friends. Constant, small touches, no sense of personal space. You wonder if he and the twins huddle together on the couch, sharing a blanket, while watching something on television.
So maybe you’re the freak, imagining riding this poor guy’s meaty thigh when he’s only just trying to share his appreciation of a sophisticated beverage with you. You close your eyes. It doesn’t matter whether he’s playing this little game on purpose or not. You refuse to let him see how much his proximity is affecting you, because then he wins. You don’t know what he wins exactly, but you will beat him before you let him have it. You try to think about his big hand choking you, but instead of having the intended effect of reminding you why you should never even consider buying tickets to the safety hazard now wedged between your thighs, it has … unforeseen consequences instead. What has this man done to you?!
You open your eyes, reach across the counter and grab a handful of carefully cut pieces of cheese, and then promptly stuff them all into your mouth at once. When in crisis, cheese is always a good solution. Except for maybe the blue cheese you accidentally mixed in with the Manchego or whatever-the-fancy-fuck he brought with him. Aaaand now you’re going to smell like blue cheese for the rest of the night.
You stare at him defiantly as you chew with puffed cheeks, and brace yourself for whatever is coming next. He side eyes you, face impassive.
You’re expecting some biting comment, but “Well, that’s one way to make sure you’ve eaten enough to absorb the alcohol,” is all he says. He slowly slides the glass with two fingers along the base across the counter until it’s sitting between the two of you. “Whenever you manage to finish inhaling all that dairy, we’ll be sure that we’ve given the wine enough time to breathe.” He pauses. “It occurs to me now that while I was preparing the food, I didn’t think to ask if you’re lactose intolerant.”
You deliberately chew as slowly as you can, making him wait as a punishment for making you feel things that you should not be feeling. When you’ve swallowed, you shake your head. “Fortunately, not one of my many flaws.”
“It’s not a flaw.” He shrugs. “How can anything you can’t control about your body be a flaw? And Luke and Kieran are lactose intolerant, so I always have lactase enzyme tablets on me to avoid… unwanted consequences when they decide to have a cheese tasting contest.”
You cock your head. “A what now?”
 He rubs his middle finger between his eyebrows. “Yeah, they can’t help themselves from making a competition out of every single human activity, so on the nights the chef prepares a cheese board with dinner, they try to outmatch each other regarding who can identify the most flavors of cheeses without cheating by asking the chef or querying Mephisto or searching online. Or asking me, because I’m undefeated.”
You stare at him, and think if there’s ever any universe in which you voluntarily return to the base where Sylus kept you captive for days and touched you like he owned you, hand violently clasped in his, where you were terrified for your life, exhausted and confused… and if you ever have a friendly enough relationship with the chaos twins, you’re going to practice your ass off so that if you’re ever invited to such a competition, you can wipe the floor with them. Their cheese-off sounds fun.
Your train of thought is derailed as it registers how smug the last thing he said was. “You’re undefeated,” you repeat, giving him a chance to redeem himself. “At identifying cheeses by taste.”
“And smell, yes. So I’m not allowed to play anymore. My palate is too refined, and they know they don’t stand a chance.”
Oh, you’re definitely going to start sampling cheese every week. You cannot let this smugness stand.
“Ah yes, his royal snobness and his impeachable palate,” you roll your eyes. “Now, will his grace the Duke of Gouda please get on with the wine instruction?” You would give him a little mock bow, but that would put your face right in his formidable cleavage and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from motorboating his unfairly huge pecs. Ugh.
He snorts. “Finally, you’re showing me some long-overdue respect.”
You nod gravely, thankful that the aether core in his eye is not currently delving the depths of your depravity. It’s time to focus. On wine.
“So why do you have to let wine breathe before drinking it?” you ask, because you’re focused.
He looks pleased that you’re interested enough to ask a question. “Much like people, it’s good to expose a greater surface area of the wine to fresh air for a while—it allows undesirable scents and flavors to dissipate, so that it tastes better when you do take a sip than if you drink it straight after opening.”
“Well aren’t you wise, philosophizing about wine and people,” you smile. You find yourself being surprised again and again tonight—at his presence, his bearing gifts, his surprisingly sweet attempt to teach you something, his kind takes on lactose intolerance and what people need to be healthy.
“Did you think I only consist of feathers and spite?” He lifts the wine glass by the stem with one hand, and your hand in his other. He gently wraps your fingers around his own.
“Let’s not forget hubris and violence.” You watch as he gently swirls the wine in the glass held between you. His hand is so warm compared to your own.
“If that’s all, then you still have a lot to learn about me,” he murmurs, but he doesn’t seem offended. Almost as if he’s simply determined. To do what, you’re not sure. “I’d tell you that you should always hold a wine glass by the stem so that the heat from your hand doesn’t affect the temperature of the wine through the glass itself. But your hands are so cold—I don’t think that would be a problem for you. But if you want people to think you’re a connoisseur, you should anyway if you’re ever on an undercover mission. Now, before you take a sip, inhale the scent we’ve just released by swirling the wine.”
You do as you’re told, and lean over, hovering just over the edge of the glass and taking a deep breath. The scent of the wine, warm and deep, fills your senses.
You look up at him and smile again. “It smells really good.”
“Of course,” he lifts the bottom of the glass with his free hand so that you can straighten, and guides your other hand to support the glass while slipping his own from around the stem and allowing you to hold it by yourself. Your hand immediately feels cold again. He leans one elbow on the counter, “I chose it for you. I’m not going to let you drink plonk.”
“Plonk?” What a cute word.
“Shit wine.”
“Mmm, not allowing me to drink shit wine, you’re truly a knight in shining armor.”
“I don’t need armor, kitten. Now that you’ve established that the wine hasn’t gone off by smelling it, you can take a sip.”
You’re about to lift the glass to your lips, when he reaches up and runs his fingertips along your wrist to stop you. “As you do, don’t swallow immediately. Roll the wine with your tongue in your mouth, and try to really think about what flavors you can taste: can you detect the oak from the barrels, earth, tannin, fruit or spices? Is it sweet or dry?”
You nod, mouth suddenly dry. But you follow his instructions and take a slow sip, rolling the rich liquid around in your mouth, and then slowly swallow. A familiar warmth spreads from your stomach, radiating out through your body. His blood bright eyes follow the movement of your lips, your throat. “I taste… fruit.” You pause, trying to appear very serious about finding the perfect description of flavor. You take another sip, close your eyes. “Yes, very fruity notes. Grapes, in particular.”
You open your eyes to find him scowling at you.
“Aren’t you the comedian?” he growls. “I’m going to revoke your wine privileges if you don’t take this seriously. How are you going to feel confident if you ever need this knowledge on a mission? Or on a date?”
You just laugh at him and try to turn a little on the stool, lifting your arm to keep the glass out of his reach, but his knee between your legs prevents you from moving, and he easily leans forward, fingers drifting up the length of your arm to then wrap around your own hand on the stem. He carefully pulls it back between the two of you. Your hand feels warm again. Safely wrapped in his.
“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned my needing to know how to pass as a wine snob on a mission. What kind of missions do you think I’m regularly going on?” You gently lift the glass again, pulling his hand with you, and take another sip. It really does taste so good. You can’t tell if it’s wildly different than the wine you normally get, but you know it doesn’t taste like it’ll leave you with a headache in the morning.
He shrugs. “If we didn’t have to bring the place down when we were at the auction, people would have been watching you at the dinner banquet. What would you have done if people started to notice that you were clutching the wine and swigging it like a drunken toddler and started to suspect that your behavior wasn't matching your cover identity?”
You gasp. “Excuse me, you don’t know how I normally drink my wine!” Who does this bastard think he is? And here you were, thinking he was sweet, sincerely trying to share one of his interests with you. “I don’t need you patronizing me regarding how I’d manage at a formal event or on a date! I’ve been on plenty of dates where I was able to drink wine without driving off my partner.” You try to pull away from him, and the wine sloshes dangerously with your movement.
“Sit still,” he commands, holding your hand tight with his and placing one large palm on your bare thigh. You immediately freeze. “I watched you gulp wine from a mug the last time I was here,” he retorts.
“So you think that just because I don’t care what you think, I can’t read the room and act according to the demands of the situation?” The indignation coursing through you is amplified by the wine spreading through you.
“Then is it fair to say that you didn’t feel the need for any pretense between us last time because you’re so comfortable with me, and not because you’re as civilized as a cactus?” he asks, running his thumb gently back and forth along your inner thigh.
Your brain is being scrambled by his thumb, how close he is to you, his clavicle exposed by the V of his sweater’s neckline, the scent of his warm, clean skin, the wine going to your head after a long exhausting day.
“I’m saying I don’t feel the need to impress you in my own home when you show up uninvited and demand beverages and band aids,” you finally manage. You’re warm. Too warm. “And what’s wrong with being a cactus?”
“Did I say there was something wrong with it? Cacti can survive the harshest conditions on earth and still produce the most beautiful flowers. And they hurt when they stab you.” He smiles like the thought pleases him immensely.
You can’t process this. He says shit like this so easily—he can’t possibly mean it in the way you are trying so hard to deny that you want him to mean it. You refuse to be lured in, only to see the cruel lines of his face when he realizes you have pathetic feelings for him. The man who could as easily rip your spine from your ribcage as offer you a glass of wine, if you lose your usefulness to him. A usefulness you still don’t know the nature of.
You’re suddenly viciously aware of how close he is to you, how he is watching your face with an intensity that makes you feel like the use of his aether core is unnecessary: you’re afraid that he can see everything you’re feeling, and you hate it. You need space. “What are we even doing, Sylus?”
His eyes drift from your eyes to your mouth, and you try very hard to steel your expression, to conceal how utterly raw and exposed he’s making you feel. You can’t tell if you’re successful, when he finally lifts his hand from your thigh and runs the back of his knuckles with such softness along your cheek that it makes you ache. You resist the urge to turn your face and nuzzle his palm.
“We’re tasting wine, sweetheart.” He leans back, pulling the glass of wine you’re still holding with him. He inhales deeply, and then takes a sip, eyes glittering over the rim, watching you. “It is a good vintage. But it’s not the only one I brought.” He guides your joined hands to set the glass on the counter, and then gets up, rounding the counter to rummage in a bag on the floor on the other side. When he stands up, he’s holding another wine glass.
You do a double take. “You brought two glasses?”
He looks from you to the glass in his hand, then back to the glass still on the counter, and then lifts his eyebrows. “Is this a trick question?”
“Why haven’t we been drinking about of separate glasses then?” you demand.
He shrugs. “That glass is for that bottle,” he nods to the glass sitting next to you. “This glass is for this bottle.” He gestures at the other, untasted bottle sitting on the counter. “No need to rinse our glasses in between tastes.”
You want to laugh, and cry. You’re so fucking done with thinking for tonight.
“Okay, Sylus. Whatever you say,” you sigh.
“Oh, I quite like the sound of that,” he smiles, one canine peeking over his lip. “Then you’re going to enjoy the sorbet I brought for us as a palate cleanser.”
He proceeds to go to your freezer, scoop out some of the aforementioned sorbet that has apparently been in there all evening into a bowl, and takes the stool next to you again. This time, he situates one long leg on either side of you, caging you in. He takes a spoonful and offers it to you. “This will help rinse your palate so that you can taste the next bottle without any lingering effects of the other.”
You look from his seemingly guileless face to the spoonful of sorbet. Yup, you’re really done thinking for tonight. You lean forward and open your lips. He slips the lemon sorbet into your mouth. His eyes remain on your lips as he pulls the spoon away, dips it back into the sorbet, and brings it to his own mouth.
After he continues to trade spoonfuls with you until the sorbet is gone, he pours the second glass of wine, and you both take turns sipping it in companionable silence.
“Now tell me. Which one is your favorite?” he asks after you’ve finished the second glass, and return to the first to finish it as well.
“I like them both,” you shrug. “Sorry for not having a more sophisticated answer.” You’re feeling drowsy and loose. He can walk off a tall building for all you care if he doesn’t like your answer.
“They’re both excellent wines. Each one is suited for multiple situations or meal combinations. They’re versatile, just like you are. And I don’t require any particular answer, except your honest one. I think you already know that you don’t need to put on an act for me, ever.”
You rest your elbow on the counter, mirroring his position, and rest your head in your hand. “Why would I pretend with you, if you can just force the truth out of me?”
“I will never do that to you.”
You look away. “You’ve already done it to me once before. What else is there to hide, when you’ve seen the ugliest parts of me?”
“I will not do it again. Not unless you ask me to,” he says so solemnly that you’re tempted to be a fool and believe him. “And is that what you think? That what I saw was ugly?”
You sit up, take the glass from him and knock back the rest of the wine in one gulp. You can't do this right now. You can't think about the the violent hunger, the savage thirst, that his eye brought from the depths of your soul when he forced his way into your deepest, darkest desires the night you met. The extent of how much you wanted to kill him, and make it hurt, when you thought he had killed Caleb and your grandmother. How you still feel that hunger and rage, with every wanderer you kill, every time you hope some dealer in modified protocores resists arrest so you can put them down, with prejudice.
“I’m tired, Sylus. Thank you for the lesson. Now I can successfully fool rich assholes at upscale dens of corruption and unsuspecting dates into believing that I’m a sophisticated connoisseur of overpriced beverages, and swindle them all. And I’ll never horrify you again by swigging wine out of a mug like a drunken toddler. You should invoice the Association for your services. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get some sleep.”
“I see. You’re still on guard, and defensive, when you're drunk too. How fascinating.” He narrows his eyes, not seeming to get the hint that you want him to leave now.
“I’m not drunk. I’m maybe tipsy, and I’m fucking tired. I’m going to bed.”
“All right,” he says easily. He stands and begins tidying up the counter.
“All right,” you repeat, feeling a little dizzy, a little empty. “You know where the door is.”
“As you say,” he says serenely, pulling out food storage containers you also didn’t realize you own and packing the food away.
“Thanks again,” you say, because you are polite, dammit. You make your way into the bathroom and begin getting ready for bed. When you emerge, your flat is dark. The kitchen looks pristine in the streetlight drifting in through the windows. You stare for a moment longer, wondering if maybe he’s finally given up on whatever his agenda with you is after your little emotional display tonight, and he’ll stop coming by now. You’re fine with that. Maybe this is what you’ve needed to do all along. Get drunk and sloppy. Guarded, defensive, he called you. What an asshole.
You pad into the bedroom, yawning, pulling up your phone to look at it as you walk. Maybe you should try listening to audiobooks to try to help with the insomnia. Like, boring ones with deep, sexy voiced narrators who can bore you to sleep like Sylus did the other night. You crawl onto the bed, and then—
“The fuck, Sylus?”
He’s sitting in the middle of your bed, sweater off and replaced by… nothing. Just the expanse of his big, creamy chest. And he’s wearing a pair of silky looking loose, black pyjama pants. An impossibly soft looking line of silver hair drifts from his tight navel, disappearing under his waistband. His gold-rimmed glasses are perched on his nose, like last time, and he’s scrolling through something on his tablet. He glances up at you, but then goes back to his… spreadsheets?
“Haven’t we already been through that little routine tonight?” he asks, and yawns. “I’m getting déjà vu.”
“What. Are. You. Doing?” you seethe.
“Going over the financials from the meeting with my accountant today.”
“Why?” You just sit there on your knees, on your bed, gaping at him like an idiot.
“To ensure that my next acquisition is suited to purpose.”
“What?”
His gaze flicks to you, and he pushes the glasses further up his nose. “Well, I made a promise that I wouldn’t change a thing about my latest business venture, so now I need to ensure that the next chain of businesses I acquire can serve one of the functions I had intended for the arcades.”
“What function is that?” you ask, curious now, despite yourself.
“Well, one of two primary functions,” he amends, tapping his temple thoughtfully with a finger.
“Okay,” you say slowly, inviting him to continue.
“Money laundering.”
You shake your head. “Come again?”
“Oh, I’ll be happy to. Thank you for the invitation. I wasn’t sure I’d ever receive one again, what with your heavily implied dismissal earlier.”
“Sylus!”
“Yes, my most precious gem?”
“What do you mean you intended to use the arcades for money laundering?” You want to cry even thinking about it.
“To be fair, after you asked me so sweetly not to change a thing, I immediately agreed. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“But that’s why you wanted to buy them?” How many times can a heart hurt in one night?
“I said that was one of the two primary reasons I wanted those arcades,” he says, reaching out with one hand and softly stroking your knee.
You look down, watching his calloused fingers drifting so sweetly across your skin. How can this man be so cruel and so gentle at the same time?
“What was the other reason, then?”
“Guess.”
“I’m done playing games with you tonight, Sylus.”
“When was I playing a game tonight?”
“Fine, don’t tell me. Just promise again that you won’t change anything about my favorite arcade.”
He sets the tablet on his lap, and reaches over to grasp your hand. He links your pinkie with his, and lifts it to his lips. “I already promised. And I promise again.” He seals the promise with a brush of his lips, and then rests both of your hands on the bed between you.
You don’t know why, and you will probably never know why, but you believe him right now. It’s clear that no matter what you do, he will not be leaving tonight without great violence on your part, and once again, you’re just too tired to fight him anymore. He reads your body like a damn book, because he silently hands you the glass of water that was sitting next to him on the nightstand. "Even if you're not drunk, but only maybe just a little tipsy," he says, doing an awful imitation of your voice. "You should still drink some water so you don't feel terrible in the morning."
Perhaps because of your easy compliance with his reasonable advice by simply taking the water and drinking it, he seems to deem it safe to pull you into his side. You go down, resting your head on his thick shoulder, and let your gaze wander over his tablet.
“So what are you thinking of buying this time?” you ask, yawning.
 He shifts, lifting your head so that he can wrap his arm around you, repositioning you so that you’re tucked a little closer under his chin, cheek resting against his chest. “A chain of casinos.”
“Casinos?” you laugh softly. “That’s on brand, I guess.”
“Mmhmm.” He runs his fingertips absently along your arm, from wrist to elbow and back again. “Lots of money changing hands. Ideal for functioning as a washing machine for the dirty proceeds from the weapons business, which comes out clean in the pockets of lucky winners.”
“You make your living profiting off the worst in people, you know that?” you ask sleepily, the numbers on the screen blurring.
“They’ll continue being terrible, with or without my involvement. I don’t make them take the bet, or pull the trigger. And if I don't, someone else will put the chip or gun in their hands. Might as well be me collecting the paycheck.”
“Maybe, through the power of friendship, I can change your mind,” you murmur. You don’t think you’ll need that audiobook to fall asleep tonight.
“Friendship, huh?” Sylus asks, but when he looks down at you, he sees that you’ve already fallen asleep. He traces the long sweep of your eyelashes across your cheeks with his eyes, feels your measured, calm breath drifting across his skin. He gently touches one finger to the ruby earring you haven’t taken out yet. The thrill of satisfaction he felt when you answered the door still wearing it would sustain him for weeks. He is absolutely certain that it won’t be the power of friendship that’s going to change him.
He pulls you a little closer into his chest, snorts when he feels you begin to drool onto his pec, and continues scrolling through his tablet.
That night, you dream. You’re walking through your childhood home—but not your childhood home from before your memories, because you will never know what that home looked like. This one, the home from your earliest memories, with its wood panelling on the walls, old-fashioned lace curtains in the windows that you can’t see out of, because it’s pitch black beyond the glass. Hallways lengthening at the same pace as you can walk down them, boots echoing on the polished hardwood floor. You walk and walk, and you can never reach the end. Doors that won’t open, but you know Caleb might be behind them, because in your dream logic, his bedroom is behind every door you pass. You turn the handles, but they remain locked. Sometimes you think you can hear the sound of someone biting into an apple, crisp flesh giving way to sharp teeth, but the door won’t open no matter how hard you throw yourself against it. You hear your grandmother speaking, just around every corner, but you can’t understand what she’s saying. You follow the sound, and every time you think that she’s just around the next turn in the hall, the corridor stretches in front of you again, empty.
You have been in this empty house for years now, and you’re afraid that you’ll never be able to get out. But you’re more afraid that once you get out, you’ll never hear them making these particular sounds again, this slim proof of their existence echoing through the empty hallways.
Slowly, you wake up, and in that endless moment caught between your dream and reality, it’s just peaceful and black—you are coming from somewhere so far away toward something you know will hurt, and you’re not ready to feel that yet. But then a feeling of suffocation is overwhelming you, and you open your eyes to realize you’re literally being smothered by a very big, very warm body.
The relief you feel, the gratitude, that Sylus is still here, that you aren’t waking up alone, again, from the nightmare in your sleep to the reality that the nightmare is real, and you’ll never be able to see your family again, is more overwhelming than your current need for oxygen. Sylus is still here, and the yawning emptiness you were carrying with you for what felt like years during that long dream dissipates in the warmth of his body against yours. You can’t help yourself. Your throw your arm that isn’t being crushed by him over his torso and hug him tightly to you, giving in to the urge to nuzzle his chest and just listen to his steady heartbeat.
You lie like that for awhile, blissfully listening to his soft breathing, when suddenly you realize that pressed so close to him, you can feel every contour of his body, from your chest against his abdomen, his muscular, silk-covered thigh wedged between your legs, and his apparently very, very big dick pressing into your hip.
You freeze, feeling like the creep you have accused him several times of being. He’s just sleeping, and you’ve plastered yourself against him like a vacuum sealed burrito. You have absolutely no business being utterly thrilled that this part of him matches the rest of him in terms of size and intimidation. You will not be taking this joy stick for a test drive. You can get out of this. You’re a very good hunter, and you can evade detection and make a tactical retreat when necessary. And it’s very necessary right now, because you do not want him to wake up and find you attached to him like a love-sick leech.
Slowly, sooo slowly, you slide your arm from where it is slung over his waist, and begin to incrementally scooch backwards, his leg slipping from between both of yours, freezing when he seems to shift a little, and then continuing the slow slide away when he settles again.
You’ve managed to extricate all of your limbs from him, except the one that is currently numb and squashed underneath him. You slowly roll onto your back and contemplate how you’re going to get it out from under him without waking him, when suddenly his arm flops over your waist. You jerk in surprise, eyes flying to his face, but his are still closed. His hand slides from your waist to your hip, and then snakes around to take a big handful of your ass. He makes a little happy noise and then pulls your body into his again. In the process, he has managed to jam his thigh back between your legs. You stare at his face, trying desperately to see if he’s starting to wake yet—how did you even end up in this situation? Then he pulls you even closer, causing his thigh to press deliciously against you. You suppress a whine, because it has been so long since someone has touched you liked this. But of course the person who is touching you is a maniac and is doing so while still asleep. You reach up and pat his cheek to wake him up, simultaneously trying to to pull away from him, but tightens his arms around you again, dipping his head to your shoulder still exposed by his too-big sweater.  You freeze in shock as he inhales deeply and hums, and soft kisses trail from your neck down, and before you can push him away he bites into the meat of your shoulder. The pain, pressure, and warmth of his mouth on your skin have you trying to arch away and into him—you do whine this time, loudly, because it hurts but you want.
Suddenly, his whole body seems to tense. The pressure on your shoulder eases, and he sighs, his breath cool drifting along your over-heated skin.
“Good morning.”
You open your eyes, realizing you’d been squeezing them shut through the last few moments, and meet his sleepy gaze.
"Were you awake?” you demand, terrified of the answer. Because if he was, then what the hell was he thinking, pretending to be asleep? And if he wasn't, was he just dreaming? Was it you in his dream, or was he dreaming of someone else? You don't want to know. You have to know.
“Your rather loud response to my love bite woke me up, I think,” he smiles softly. "I didn't realize that I was... dreaming until then."
“So you didn’t mean to—” you start to pull away.
He tightens his arm around your waist. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Sylus, let go. I’m sorry for not waking you fast enough. I was just—I was just shocked. I know you wouldn’t have done that otherwise.” You struggle, but his arm is a steel bar holding you in place.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t have,” he agrees, and you feel whatever fragile, tender root that had been growing in the cracks of your broken heart wither, the dry husk drifting away in an autumn breeze. Replacing that faint feeling of hope, you're livid that you do not share the same teleportation ability that Xavier and Sylus have. If you could, you'd teleport in a poof of glittering light or melodramatic feathers. To anywhere else but here.
You nod, and nod, and nod, because he’s not letting you move but you have to do something or else he’ll see it right on your stupid, open face, and you’d rather he slit your throat than see the pain his rejection is inflicting on you. You had lied to him earlier, about not having anything to hide, about always being honest with him. You've been lying to yourself, and to him, ever since you met him.
“What I mean—” he’s looking at you intently, and you want to cover his eyes with your hands, because as always they’re seeing too much, but suddenly, the doorbell rings through your flat.
You both turn your heads to look at the bedroom door at the same time.
Oh. Fuck.
Xavier.
Sylus turns to look back at you, so close that his nose brushes yours. “Expecting company, kitten?”
“It’s Xavier. Shit.” You try to roll away, and this time he lets you. You grab your phone off the nightstand and see that Xavier has already texted you a few times to see if you’re ready to head to the bookstore yet. The texts grow increasingly concerned the longer you don’t respond. The doorbell rings again. “You have to go. Now.”
You turn to Sylus, who is now lying leisurely on his side, head propped up in his hand, silky silver hair cascading across his forehead, occupying the bed like an imperialist force annexing a weaker neighbor’s territory, with no intention of leaving.
“And what are you going to do?” he asks, eyes drifting from your face, to your shoulder, down to your bare legs.
“I need to answer the door and tell Xavier that I’m running late.”
“Late for what?”
“Sylus, I don’t have time for this. You can’t be here. Xavier helped me get into the N109 zone, he spends a lot of time there—he’s smart enough that if he finds out what you look like, he might eventually be able to figure out who you are. You can’t be here,” you repeat, starting to panic. Sylus may not have any feelings for you beyond friendship or a predator toying with its food, but you still don’t want him to get caught because of you.
“You’re not working today. What plans do you have with him?” he asks, completely ignoring your distress.
“We’re going to the bookstore. We were going to spend our first day free just reading manga and eating junk food,” you rush out impatiently.
Sylus just looks at you for a few beats, the picture of lazy boredom on a weekend morning.
“Okay? Are you satisfied? Can you please leave now?” This is good. You can avoid the inevitable, It was a mistake, thought you were someone else, was dreaming about a giant amorous anthropomorphized ruby, you’re not exactly my type, because my type is someone who has their shit together, can identify what fucking region a certain grape was grown in and its exact soil acidity based on the year of the vintage, my type is someone else, anyone else—you reach down and hit yourself hard in the side of your thigh with a fist to get your head on straight, and start heading to your closet, intent on throwing on a robe or longer shorts so that you don't answer the door looking like you're not wearing any pants.
Sylus's irritated voice follows you. “Satisfied? No, I'm not feeling satisfied. But I would advise against answering the door wearing that.”
You jerk to a halt. “Excuse me?” You turn to find him scowling at you.
He waves a dismissive finger at the sweater and silk shirts you’re still wearing. “I think you should change before you answer the door.”
“I look that bad, huh? Thanks for the advice. You need to be gone when I get back.” You turn, hating everything and everyone, and make your way to the front door.
You throw it open, just as Xavier is lifting his hand to ring your bell again. His sky blue eyes, usually so calm and sleepy, widen when he takes in the dumpster fire that you are today.
“Hi, yeah, sorry. I overslept,” you rush out, hoping you can skip this part and go straight to the moving on with your day and your entire life part. “I just need like, fifteen minutes, and then I’ll be ready.”
“Did you get in a fight with a wanderer last night after we go home?” he asks, hand lifting again, this time toward you, as if he wants to touch you, but then thinks better of it and drops it back to his side. He’s wearing the white hoodie that Sylus stole from him. What even is your life right now?
“What? No, I just had some wine and was really tired.” He’s staring at you, brow furrowed now, and it takes a minute to realize that he’s staring at the sweater hanging off your shoulder. You suddenly get a really, really bad feeling. “Why?”
He lifts his hand again, and points, but in a kind of timid way, like a little kid who knows that it’s rude to point but can’t help himself anyway so just points a little so that his mom won’t get mad at him. “It looks like a wanderer bit you.”
You lift your own hand and touch your shoulder, and feel the too-warm skin there, the ache spreading deep into the muscle.
“Oooh, yeah. Yes.” You decide that you need to take acting classes. That is what you will do as your new hobby, on your few days off. You’re going to win the best actor award if it kills you, because if it doesn’t kill you, the embarrassment will kill you instead. And you’d rather die convincing everyone that everything is normal and you’re fine, and not from the embarrassment of the fact that your not-boyfriend, not-fuck-buddy, not-interested-at-all, probably not even your friend anymore Sylus accidentally bit you while fucking asleep and left evidence of it for all the world to see. “I did respond to a really minor alert in the neighborhood last night. It was only one wanderer. Hiding in a trash can of all places,” you laugh, not at all sounding unhinged. Convincing. “Bit me pretty good, but it really was nothing, I had completely forgotten about it. So, still on for the bookstore?” you ask, chipper, eager, well-adjusted!
Xavier stares at your shoulder for a few seconds longer, and then just nods. “Yeah, just text me when you’re ready.”
Bless him. You’ve almost put him back to sleep with your absolutely stellar performance. “Okay, great! See you soon.” You back into your flat again and let the door shut with a heavy click.
Xavier stands outside your door for several moments after you’ve scurried back inside. He thinks about how sharp his light blade is. He thinks about how he’s going to use it on whatever motherfucker thinks that he has the right to mark Xavier’s partner like an animal. And then he yawns, and meanders back to his own flat to wait for your text because he has all the time in the world, and the patience to match it. Xavier is your partner, and he’s not going anywhere, anytime soon. If he murders whatever asshole was in your flat last night right now, that might interfere with your bookstore plans with him.
You stand on the other side of the door for a moment, just trying to collect yourself. You lean against the cool surface, look up at your ceiling. Breathe in the smell of shoe leather, oiled metal. Absently you lift your hand to your shoulder. Why didn’t Sylus warn you before you went to open the door? He even admitted that he wouldn’t have … done that to you if he hadn’t been asleep. Why would he just… and then it hits you. He did tell you to change clothes before you answered the door. The asshole just didn’t tell you why. But he would know by now that you’d actually do the opposite of whatever he says, because he’s not the boss of you. He played you like one of his fucking records.
But why the fuck would he want Xavier to see what happened between the two of you? Does he enjoy your humiliation that much?
You have no idea if you’ll ever have the chance to figure him out, especially if he got the hint that you don’t want to see him anytime soon. You shake your head. Even though you should be exhausted after staying up so late and ending up on the human embodiment of a roller coaster with its wheels coming off despite all of your promises to yourself last night, you feel well-rested. You will survive this. You can survive anything.
You head back to your bedroom to confirm that Sylus is actually gone, because last night proved that whether he actually listens when you tell him to leave depends entirely on his own whims. As you enter, the late morning sunlight spills into the room. He really left. The room is empty. The books and various weapons on your nightstands have been stacked neatly and lined up just so. The clothes that had been left haphazardly hanging off your chest of drawer handles or strewn over the floor are nowhere to be seen. It would be the tidiest your bedroom has been in weeks, if not for the fact that your entire bed is covered in a thick layer of black feathers.
“This bitch,” you breathe.
It’s going to take at least two full size trash bags to clean this mess up.
You decide then and there that Sylus doesn’t have a choice about whether he’s going to see you again. You’re going to bag up these feathers and then tar and feather him with them the next time you see his gorgeous, petty fucking face.
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rosemariiaa · 3 days
Text
~Echoes Of You~
pairing- Paige x Azzi
a/n: cute little song fic because we all missed those, and yes i have delivered fluff 💌
song: Pink in the Night - my love Mitski
theme- fluff
Enjoy!!!
Paige can’t sleep again.
She lies in her bed, staring at the ceiling as the pink glow of her nightlight washes over the room. It’s late, probably too late to still be awake, but she’s not in the mood to close her eyes. Not when her mind’s too full of her. She bites her lip, annoyed with herself, the way her thoughts keep circling back to Azzi. It’s been happening more often lately, and she hates it.
“I glow pink in the night in my room,”
Paige thinks, frustrated. It’s stupid how much she’s let this feeling grow—like she’s been blossoming alone over someone she shouldn’t even be thinking about. They’re teammates, just friends. Paige had drawn the line a long time ago, but somehow, Azzi had crossed it without even knowing.
“And I hear my heart breaking tonight.”
She shifts on her bed, trying to ignore the pounding in her chest. The silence in the room makes it worse. Her heart beats so loud, she swears she can hear it cracking. “Do you hear it too?” Of course, Azzi can’t hear it. She’s probably fast asleep in her own room, not knowing that Paige is losing sleep over her. God, this is so stupid.
Paige gets up, hoping to clear her head. She pads down the hallway, not bothering to turn on the lights. When she reaches the living room, she freezes.
Azzi is already there.
Sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up, Azzi’s face is illuminated by the soft glow of the TV screen, but the sound is muted. It’s almost eerie, seeing her there like this, alone and silent. Paige’s breath catches in her throat. She should turn back. She should leave.
But she doesn’t.
Instead, she stands awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of what to say or do. Azzi notices her after a moment, turning her head slightly. “Couldn’t sleep either?” she asks softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Paige shrugs, her body tense. “Yeah. Something like that.”
The silence stretches between them, heavy with everything unsaid. Paige moves to sit on the other side of the couch, careful to keep her distance. But it doesn’t matter. Azzi’s presence is enough to make her chest tighten. It’s stupid, but she wants to reach out, to close the gap, to say something that would break this unbearable tension. She doesn’t.
Instead, she just watches Azzi, stealing glances when she thinks she won’t notice.
“I could stare at your back all day.”
The thought hits Paige out of nowhere, and she has to bite her tongue to keep from saying it out loud. Azzi’s back is turned slightly, her posture relaxed in a way that makes Paige feel anything but calm. There’s something about the way Azzi carries herself that drives her crazy—not in an obvious, in-your-face way, but in the subtle things. The way her curls fall over her shoulders, the way her lips twitch when she’s deep in thought. Paige feels like an idiot for noticing these things.
Azzi shifts, turning to face her fully now, and Paige’s eyes snap away like she’s been caught. “You okay?” Azzi’s voice is soft, but there’s something in her tone that makes Paige’s stomach churn. It’s like she knows. Or maybe Paige is just paranoid.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Paige lies. She’s not fine. She hasn’t been fine in weeks, but she’s not about to admit that, especially not to Azzi.
They sit in silence for what feels like forever, the unspoken words hanging in the air between them. Paige’s mind keeps replaying the same memories over and over again. That one night, 2 years ago at Azzi’s grandparents lake. The way Azzi had looked at her, how close they’d been. They’d kissed, but it hadn’t been enough. It hadn’t felt right.
“I know I’ve kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right.”
She wonders if Azzi remembers it too, or if it was just another fleeting moment for her. Paige curses herself for not doing more, for not saying what she really wanted to say back then. She swallows hard, the words lodged in her throat.
“Paige…” Azzi’s voice pulls her back to the present, and there’s something different in it now—something hesitant. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
Paige freezes. Her mind blanks for a second, panic setting in. Has she been that obvious? She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Azzi’s eyes are on her, waiting for an answer, and Paige feels like she’s suffocating under the weight of it all.
“I… I don’t know,” Paige finally manages to say, but it’s a weak excuse, and she knows it.
Azzi shifts closer, her gaze never leaving Paige’s face. “That’s not true,” she whispers. “You know exactly why.”
“And I hear my heart breaking tonight.”
Paige’s heart is pounding now, louder than ever. She wants to deny it, to brush it off, but the look in Azzi’s eyes stops her cold. There’s no more hiding. No more pretending.
Without thinking, Paige reaches out, her hand brushing Azzi’s cheek. The touch is hesitant, unsure, but when Azzi leans into it, Paige feels a surge of emotion she can’t control. “I’m sorry,” Paige whispers, her voice breaking. “I didn’t do it right before. Can I… can I try again?”
Azzi’s breath hitches, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she nods, her eyes softening. Paige leans in slowly, her heart racing, but this time, when their lips meet, it feels right. It feels like everything she’s been wanting to say but couldn’t. The kiss is soft, slow, filled with all the things they never said.
When they finally pull apart, Azzi rests her forehead against Paige’s. “We’ll get it right this time,” Azzi whispers.
“Try again, and again, and again.”
They don’t need to say anything else. The silence between them feels different now—lighter, filled with possibility. Paige knows they’ll keep trying, keep figuring it out together. And this time, they won’t be alone.
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cosmicdahlias · 3 days
Text
Take Me Under
a ford x reader fic
MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
warnings: NONCON, drugging, somnophilia, oral, smut
so this is a spiritual successor to my last fic, it’s not a continuation but the themes are similar
It was a warm summer night in Gravity Falls. The crickets chirped as you sat out on the porch with your research partner, Stanford Pines. You nursed your glass of whiskey that Ford had poured for you. It had been a long night of research, Ford was trying to build an interdimensional gateway, stuff you would’ve thought five years ago only existed in science fiction, but he really was a genius.
His other partner had already gone home for the night, Fiddleford. He was a good guy, a family man with a son, you believed his name was Tate. Tonight you were kind of happy Fiddleford had left already, you liked him just fine but the truth was you had feelings for his cohort.
You blushed whenever Ford looked your way, eyed his hands as they fiddled with the laboratory devices, wondering to yourself how his hands would feel on you. There were so many times you wanted to tell him how you felt, to confess your true feelings. With Fiddleford almost always present the timing never felt right, but tonight you had Ford all to yourself.
Neither of you said much, just taking in the night air. You bounced your leg nervously, you started to feel light headed but decided to ignore it. Ford studied your face, it was clear you were anxious about something.
“Y/n, are you okay?”
You bit the bullet and took a deep breath.
“Ford, I-“
But before you could get another word out the world around you began to sway, the corners of your vision going black, the darkness slowly creeping in. You felt yourself falling forward. The last thing you heard was Ford’s voice.
“Y/n? Y/n!”
-
Ford caught you in his arms, he looked down at you, not sure what to do. He shook you.
“Y/n! Y/n!”
He tried to collect his thoughts, what the hell had just happened? You were fine all day and now you were out cold. He put a hand to your forehead, it felt normal, you weren’t sick.
A chilling laugh that made the hairs on his neck stand on end echoed through his head.
“Well well well well well well well well well, looks like the perfect opportunity is right in front of you, sixer.”
Ford swallowed. “Bill?”
“The one and only. So what do you think of my handiwork?”
“Handiwork? What handiwork?”
“Oh come on, you’ve been pining after this kid for ages and you’ve been too darn afraid to do anything so I figured I’d throw you a bone.”
Ford felt a pit grow in his stomach “Bill… what did you do?”
“It’s really not that big of a deal, sixer. I just had you add a little something special to their drink.”
Ford was horrified. “Bill, that’s- you can’t-“
“Oh come off it Fordsy, you and I both know this is a golden opportunity. Do you seriously think you’re gonna have the guts to even kiss them when they’re awake?”
Ford bit his lip, Bill was right, he was a coward when it came to you.
“Mull it over, I’ll leave you two alone for now, don’t be a pussy. Byyyyyyeeeee.”
And with that things were quiet again, it was just Ford and you lying unconscious in his arms. He felt his pulse in his throat. He had wanted to kiss you, to know you intimately for so long. Would he really get another chance like this?
He stood up, and carried you through the front door. He walked through the dark shack, the floorboards creaking underneath his feet. He opened the door to his room and walked to the edge of his bed, setting you down gently on the plush covers.
He cupped your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. He knew it was sick, but thought you looked incredibly cute passed out. Your lips were parted slightly, so kissable. He couldn’t resist, he leaned down and kissed you deeply and felt himself grow achingly hard. Fuck, this felt so wrong but he didn’t have the will to stop himself now.
His fingers traced the top button of your blouse, undoing each of them slowly, kissing his way down the valley between your breasts as he did so.
He thumbed the delicate lace of your bra, god if you hadn’t planned to be seen like this why would you wear something so sexy underneath? He slipped a hand down your back to sit you up so he could undo your bra.
He sucked in a breath as he laid you back down and took in the sight of your breasts, they were so fucking perfect. He had pictured it in his mind thousands of times but the real thing was even better than he imagined. He took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling it with his tongue. Taking your other breast in his hand, he circled your nipple with his index finger.
His cock throbbed through his pants. If this was wrong why was he so turned on? Was he really that depraved? He shook his head, trying to escape the thoughts and enjoy the moment.
He ran his calloused hands up your thighs and started to pull down your pants. He let out a small dark chuckle, matching underwear. Yeah, you were asking for this. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties and slid them off your legs. The sight of you elicited another sinister laugh from him. You were soaking wet, even in your unconscious state your body begged for him.
He pulled his hands off of you and began removing his trench coat, next his sweater vest and collared shirt. He unbuckled his belt, letting it hit the floor with a loud thud. He slid his boxers off of his hips and let them fall over his discarded pants.
He stroked himself absentmindedly as he studied your naked body. He wished he had a polaroid camera so he could save this moment forever. He wanted to ravage you, claim you. Then it occurred to him that it would only be fair to make you cum if he was going to destroy you.
He slid himself down the length of your body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. His hot breath tickled your pussy. He took your clit in his mouth, his tongue flicking it rapidly. He moaned into your pussy, you tasted so fucking good. He wished that you were awake so you could tangle your fingers in his hair. He slid his index and middle finger inside of you, pumping roughly into you.
He felt your walls tighten around his fingers, your wetness dripping out of you. He worked you with a steady rhythm, savoring the delicious wet sounds of his fingers sliding in and out of you.
He sucked your clit furiously, his fingers fucking you with a brutal intensity. Your pussy began to spasm around his fingers, he knew you were close. He kept at his pace, wanting to push you to orgasm.
“That’s it, baby, cum for me.”
You began to pulse around his fingers, a small moan escaped your lips. He reveled in your orgasm. His cock leaked precum and twitched wildly. Nothing had ever gotten him this aroused.
He got up, dragging you head first to the edge of the bed, tilting your head back. He swiped his finger on your tongue, feeling the warmth of your mouth. He angled his cock to your lips and shoved himself down your throat.
He fucked your mouth aggressively, panting and swearing. You looked so pretty with his cock in your throat. He bucked his hips into your face, holding a hand to your neck, feeling his cock bulge in your throat.
He felt himself getting close, and pulled out. His breathing was ragged. He took a moment to collect himself before picking you up and laying you back down with your head on the pillow.
He climbed on top of you and kissed you deeply, hands fondling your breasts. He aligned his cock with your entrance and with a loud groan forced himself into you all the way to the hilt. The way your pussy gripped his cock was perfect.
-
Your eyes fluttered open, all you could see from the dim light of the bedside table lamp was a figure moving on top of you. As your eyes adjusted and you started to come back to reality it hit you just what was happening and who it was.
“FORD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“Oh, you’re awake. I’m sorry but you passed out and you just looked so perfect that I had to have you.”
You desperately tried to free yourself from underneath him, you clawed at his arms. He took your wrists in his hands and pinned them down above your head.
“Don’t- ah, don’t struggle. I promise I’ll make you feel good.”
“Ford, stop. Please.” You cried.
“I can’t, nngh, you feel too good.”
He fucked you hard, pumping his thick cock into you. The slick, wet sounds filling the room. He forced his lips on yours and moaned into your mouth, his tongue shoving its way to the back of your throat.
You wrestled yourself out of his grip and pushed him off of you. You scrambled off of the bed and ran for your life for the door, but Ford was faster. He tackled you and pinned you to the floor.
“Baby please don’t make this, ugh, harder than it has to be.” He whispered into your ear as you fought back against him.
He pulled you to your feet and shoved you back down on the bed, pinning your wrists once more. He was going to finish what he started. He violently forced himself into you again, his rhythm punishing. He groaned loudly and bit your neck, you whimpered. His cock twitching at the noise.
He stopped for a second, reaching into the bedside drawer and pulled out a pair of handcuffs that he had stolen off a cop during a night of possession by Bill. He cuffed your hands above your head. His hand now free to travel south, making its way to your clit. He drew circles with his fingers while continuing to brutally fuck you, causing your pussy clench around his cock. The pleasure was indescribable, god he loved it.
You tried to struggle again, but Ford held you down by the waist with his free hand. His breathing quickened, he was close, you were too. He pounded you into the mattress, the bed frame shaking.
“Fuck you’re gonna make me cum, I need you to cum around my cock.”
His fingers didn’t let up, you felt yourself getting closer to the edge. You bit into his into his shoulder and felt the skin break, the sickly metallic taste of blood flooding your mouth. That was enough to send Ford over, he cocked his head back and his moan echoed throughout the shack. You cried out as you came, tears welling in your eyes.
Ford shuddered and panted, he was spent. He rolled off of you and collapsed beside you. You laid there, shaking and crying. Ford took your face in his hand, wiping away the tears with his thumb.
“Shh shh shh, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He cooed. “Let me get those cuffs off of you.”
With a click of the little key your hands were released. You thought about using this as an opportunity to run, but you felt frozen. He kissed you lazily on your lips and neck, then he pulled you against his chest. His big calloused hands stroked your back. You felt strangely comforted, safe almost. You had always wanted this, to be wrapped in Ford’s arms.
Ford had desired you for so long, and now that he finally had you he wasn’t going to let you go.
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luimagines · 2 days
Note
hellooooo im new kinda-
but i was wondering if you could do a twi x reader but the reader is insecure about their appearance?
ps: keep up the good work!
Okie dokie artichokie! You got it! :D
Masterlist
Content under the cut!
"I have nothing to wear."
"Just pick something!"
"Like what? Nothing works!"
Uh-oh. Link didn't like that tone you were using.
He was wondering what was taking so long for you to get ready. He had planned to that you to the festival in Castle Town but this was something that he didn't expect. You were usually faster than this.
"What do you mean?" Link asks gently. He thinks he can guess what's wrong. "Can I see what you have?"
You had mentioned wanting to get something new for the special occasion but he had yet to see what you had chosen. You wanted it to be a surprise.
"...Yes. You can come in."
Oh dear, you really mustn't be feeling well if you're willing to ruin said surprise.
Link sighs and walks in. You're holding up a dress to yourself in the mirror. Two different options lay on your bed, waiting to be tried on. Or rather, have already been tried on and rejected.
"I like this color." You say, defeat coloring your tone. "But I don't like the way my shoulders look in it."
Link tilts his head. He can't see anything wrong with it, but he knows that's not what you need to hear. "What about the other ones?"
"Those were back ups." You pout, tossing the new outfit onto the bed with reckless abandon. "But I don't want to wear those tonight."
Link bite his tongue in thought. He didn't think there was anything wrong with the outfit or with your shoulders. It wasn't even on his mind.
"Try it on for me anyway." He finds himself saying. "At least let me see you in it."
"Ok, fine." You sigh, a little disappointed in yourself. Link can see it and he won't stand for it.
He steps out of the room momentarily so you can change.
You step out as well with the clothes on moments later. Link feels his breath leave his chest. You're beautiful.
But he can see already that your insecurities are beginning to take over. You give him a halfhearted twirl with pathetic flourish. "Ta da."
Link tries to hide his amusement and takes your hand, pulling you towards him. He gives you a proper twirl.
"You're gorgeous."
"...You think so?"
Oh merciful heavens, the tiny hope in your voice is a vice around his heart.
"I have eyes." He teases gently and pulls back to give the impression that he's giving this genuine thought. It's not that he wants to trick you, but there's really nothing wrong here. He has to let you believe that your beautiful no matter what.
He refuses to let you be uncomfortable in your own skin.
"Mmmmhm." He grins and purposely dances with you back into your room. You end up giggling at his antics, hanging onto him as he nearly throws you off of you feet.
"Link, please!" You laugh louder.
"Just like this then. I've figured it out." He says proudly, standing in front of your mirror again. Link had wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. "Is this better?"
You're smiling brightly, trying to see how it's any different in the mirror. But you realize. It doesn't matter. This outfit actually looks quite nice.
"It's because you're hiding my shoulders." You say gently, trying to pull away.
He doesn't let you. "No, it's because we're together." Link stresses, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. "Just stay by my side the whole time, you won't even notice."
You sigh and look back into the mirror.
He has a point. With his arm around you, you don't even see what's been bothering you anymore. You shake your head and smile again, your heart a little lighter than before. "You're to have your arm around the whole time then."
Link snorts. "Believe me, that will not be a problem."
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hubbypossession · 24 hours
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Liza and Lily were one of the cutest couples when they were alive. Both women found each other in their early 20s and married. They were happy for years before both tragically dying in a car accident that abruptly put a halt to both of their lives.
Now as ghosts, they can still have some fun, albeit in different ways. They had both always been very open to exploring their sexualities and being ghosts made perfect opportunities for this. They had tried being other lesbian couples and straight couples that moved into their house and of course it was fun, but recently a gay couple had moved into their former home which intrigued both spirits.
"I can't believe two guys are moving in here. This'll be a first." Lily said as both ghosts hovered above the boys watching TV on the couch.
"Well, you always scare all of our tenants and they end up leaving." Liza said exasperated.
"Hey! I'm just keeping things interesting. Are you... thinking what I'm thinking?" Lily said as they both watched the guys.
"I think I should be able to pick first. You owe me that much." Liza joked.
"Fine. After you, Liza." Lily yielded.
Liza flew down towards the gay couple and listened in closer to their conversation.
"Gus, c'mon babe. You gotta lay off the beans." The smaller guy, Spencer, said as he backed away from Gus on the couch. The two had been cuddling on the couch when Gus farted on Spencer's lap.
"Just keeping up my fiber intake for my boyfriend. C'mon babe, I thought you were into farts. My stink loving top of a guy" Gus says defensively before turning his attention back to the TV.
Liza looked disgusted at Gus and turned her attention towards Spencer. "Looks, like you will do Spencer. I'm not going to possess the fat, gassy guy."
Liza dove into Spencer's ear and spread herself out through his body as his eyes glossed over and his body went limp. She quickly overtook his body and opened her eyes and swallowed. Spencer now looked down at his hands and his shirtless body before smelling his pits in curiousity.
"So not into gas but you are into pits, huh?" Gus says as he crawls back towards his possessed boyfriend.
"Oh, uh, no babe. I'm good." Liza says as she backs away from Gus some more.
"C'mon babe, I know you want th-! AH!" Gus goes flying backwards as Lily dives towards his body and into his agape mouth.
Liza curiously approaches her new boyfriend as he convulses on the floor and opens his eyes suddenly.
"You gave me the bigger, gassy guy? Figures. Well, you better get used to this." Lily taunts as she farts and groans out in her new voice.
"Seriously?” Liza stuttered as her new body started to get turned on. She distracted herself by approaching a hallway mirror to inspect her new body. “Alright, well this is different. We've never been a gay couple before."
"Yeah I'll say. I'm so... big. Dudes take up so much space." Lily flexes her arms in the mirror and grins.
"Wanna go out tonight babe? Find out what it's like to be a gay couple?" Liza asks as she explored her full blown boner.
"Oh for sure baby. We've never been to a gay bar. And later tonight, I'll let you pound this tight hole too... that's what guys do right?" Lily asks as she inspects her ass.
"Beats me. But sure, let's go!" Liza says as she excitedly runs towards their bedroom to get changed.
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luveline · 1 day
Note
for the fred x asf!reader, maybe something where one of his family members is like whispering about r or says something rude or backhanded and he sticks up for her? or if you don’t want to do his family, maybe a friend or something?
ty for requesting! fem, 1.7k
Sometimes you get so sick with everything that it makes you gag. It sounds insane, how can an illness that tires you force something like a gag? It might be more appropriate to attribute it to anxiety, but it’s overwhelming, whatever it is. You get this feeling like you’re totally lost in the middle of the day and all Fred can do is watch you as you scramble out of your seat for a bathroom. 
You haven’t actually thrown up yet. You stand bent over the bathroom sink in the burrow and breathe. Your gag had been loud —it wouldn’t surprise you if everybody here tonight had heard it. Fred stands just outside the door, the bathroom too small to force his way in while you still stand at the sink. 
“Lovely,” he says, without shame despite the tens of ears listening in, “can I come in?” 
The basin is made of yellow and orange tile, peculiar as the rest of the burrow. The mirror is framed by the same colours. You meet your own eyes and don’t have it in you to scowl. You aren’t angry at being sick. You aren’t sorry for yourself. You’re just tired. 
Fred says your name. 
You scoot into the very corner of the bathroom and begin opening the door for him. He’s in as soon as you allow him to be, shimmying between the door and the toilet to close it behind him again. He takes a breath of relief when he finds you unhurt, but his concern doesn’t waver. 
“You okay?” he asks. 
Sometimes you wish Fred didn’t have to see you at all. Like this, like that, ever. You wish he never met you, because you know he’s beautiful inside and out, and he has to witness you at your constant lows. “Fine.” 
“My mum’s making some peppermint tea, if you want some. It settles the stomach.” 
“Maybe.” 
“Is there something wrong?” 
Beyond the usual? No. Everything is the same. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you’ll be in love with him forever without ever feeling enough, maybe he’ll keep looking at you like he is now, softly, the slightest air of defeat about him. There are wires crossed in your head you can’t fix, and he loves you, and sometimes it doesn’t make a bit of difference. 
“Hey,” he says, “it’s okay.” Fred holds your arm by the elbow.
“I know. I don’t know what…” 
Do you ever? 
Fred doesn’t catch onto your dark mood. “That’s enough for today. We’ll go home, okay? Let me just say goodbye to mum, you can say bye to George. Or do we…” 
“No. It’s okay, I’ll go and see him.” 
“Okay.” He kisses your cheek. 
Fred leaves first. By the time you’ve slipped between the toilet and the door back out into the hallway, he’s gone. Not even his scent lingers. You make your way back into the living room where you’d been before you started feeling sick, face angled down. 
“You alright?” Charlie asks. 
You raise your head to smile at him quickly. “I’m okay. Just not feeling well, sorry.” 
“Going home?” George asks. 
You bite your tongue and nod. George gathers your jumper where you’d shed it in a hot flush and quickly stands to be by your side. 
“Let me walk you down to the garden.” 
“Okay. Bye, Charlie. See you next week.” 
“Feel better!” Charlie calls as you go. 
You pull your jumper on and follow George out into the garden, where you meander. You’d say goodbye to Molly, only she’s so caring that it can make things worse. She’s more understanding of how you feel than you’d first expected, but she made boys like Fred and George, so it shouldn’t surprise you. 
“What’s that about? The being sick?” George asks eventually. 
“I wasn’t sick.” 
“No?” 
“No, it’s just kecking. I don’t really know what it is, honestly.” 
George looks like Fred, but they’re not as identical as people think. Very occasionally you’ll spot him across the shop and think it’s your boyfriend for a few nanoseconds, but you could never mistake them for one another in good lighting. When George offers a hug, it doesn’t feel like Fred’s touch. You know the difference. 
“Maybe it’s, like, a sign you need to chill out for a bit.” 
“I’m always chilled out. Nobody expects anything from me. I never do anything.” 
George pulls back with an arm still covering your shoulders, “Listen to the way you’re talking,” he says gently, “you need to be nice to yourself, even if it’s just until you feel better. You know? Something is clearly winding you up, and it doesn’t have to. You can tell me about it.” 
It’s something, but it’s something he knows already. You hold your arm to his, struggling to explain, to want to. You wish you could go back to saying nothing; it was easier to be quiet. 
George isn’t disappointed. He rubs your arm. “You can tell me whenever. Or not tell me. Don’t tell me anything, let’s just ditch Fred and go get cake.” 
“I can’t ditch Fred.” 
“Why?” 
“I like him.” 
“Ugh.” George puts his cheek to yours. “Whatever. You’ll pick the right twin eventually.” 
Shouting echoes from the house. You and George look up at the same time, startled, the light mood of your joking quickly tanked. “Is that Fred?” you ask. 
It’s definitely Fred. “I couldn’t care less what you think, Ronald, I’d be surprised if you could form intelligent thought–” 
“Fred!” Molly shouts, “Boys, please, there’s no need for all the shouting!” 
“If I were you I’d look at yourself carefully the next time you're tempted to open your fat gob–”
George laughs beside you. “Jesus, what’s Ron said?” 
“I have no idea.” The twins argue with Ron every time they see him, so it could be anything. “Maybe he’s harping on Fred to cut his hair again.” 
“Well, he should.” 
“No way.” You picture your lovely boyfriend with short, short hair as everyone wants him to have and cringe. “No, thank you.” 
“Just don’t talk about her, Ron! It’s really quite simple, even a half-wit like you could understand it if you tried, don’t even think about her–”
Your chest falls as you realise what it is that’s making all the fuss. At Fred’s shout, there’s an upheaval of sounds, Ron’s yelling, Molly’s, and Arthur’s quieter pleading for everybody to calm down. Fred says something you can’t hear, and then the door out into the garden is opening, and Fred huffs a breath as he makes his way down the path. 
“Hey,” he says, forcing a smile when he sees you and George. “Ready to go?” 
“What happened?” you ask. 
“It’s nothing. Ron being Ron.” 
“Did he say something?” 
Fred looks between you and George with a frown. “He’s hardly capable of stringing four words together. But yes, he said something.” His frown deepens. “He’s just being a dick. It doesn’t matter.” 
“Was it about me?” 
Fred squints at you. “Could you be less perceptive?” 
“No.” 
He visually debates telling you what’s been said. George grabs your shoulder, half a hug as he says, “I can invoke a divine punishment.” 
“It was nothing cruel, ghost.” Fred sighs. “He asked me why you act like that, and I– He doesn’t get it, okay? But that doesn’t mean you act wrong.” 
“I see,” you say. 
Fred watches your face. His own turns to heartbreak. “Listen, I’ll go back in there. I’ll kill him.” 
“No, you won’t.” 
“Of course I will.” Fred ducks his head a little to see you where you’ve shied away. “I will kill him.” 
George snorts. “Me first. He’s such a fucking dolt of a boy.” 
“No, it’s okay, I know I’m weird–”
“I’ll kill him–”
“Fred,” you interrupt. You take a moment to formulate what you’re saying, because it’s important, and because you constantly toe the same line, “I am weird. He doesn’t have to pretend I wasn’t just almost sick in the living room for no real reason–”
“It’s not about pretending, it’s that he thinks you do it on purpose.” Fred speaks with such severity that you immediately close your mouth. “I’ve seen you struggle for so long, it’s painful, ghost, and it’s worse for you, I know it is, and the insinuation that you’re choosing–”
“Fred,” you say, putting your hand to his chest. “It’s okay.” 
“Well, it isn’t,” George says, “but yeah, it’s okay. I’m gonna make slugs come out of his nose.” 
George kisses your cheek, a smacking joking thing that you bat away before he jogs back up the path to the house. Fred looks down at your hand on his chest, still frowning, but with a slowly relaxing brow. 
“You can’t blame people for not getting it,” you say. 
“Yes, I can.” 
“You can’t.” 
“Yes, I can. You are difficult to understand sometimes, lovely, but being difficult to understand does not mean you’re difficult to care about. Ron’s total lack of empathy is ridiculous. He should be better than that.” 
“He just doesn’t get it,” you say, raising a hand to his chin to turn his head, and lifting your chin to kiss his cheek primly. “But I don’t need him to. Just need you.” 
He grabs you in a hug before you can move away, his face pressed against yours. “How do you feel now?” he asks quietly. “Still poorly?” 
“Yeah, a bit. George told me I need to chill out.” 
“You do. That’s what we’re going home to do.”
Fred is so careful with you that it sort of hurts. Like, to have someone stand in front of you and to hold you without a second thought, to have never let you down, to grab you at the first sign of weakness and hold you together. You will never, ever feel like you deserve him. Maybe you don’t. But Fred doesn’t work on deserving, he just loves, lips soft on your temple as his hand scrunched into your side. “Don’t worry,” he says gently, fingers curling in and out against you, almost like a loving scratch, “you’ll feel better soon.” 
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jahayla-parker · 3 days
Note
do you mind doing a Kaz fic where she has had a crush a month before but is convinced it’s a lost cause bc he talks to inej a lot, but (PLOT TWIST) the reason he talks to inej is because he’s unsure if y/n likes him back? Angst with a happy ending?
-🍁
Lock and Key : Kaz Brekker x Reader
Descr: 4.5k wc, Reader and Kaz have unspoken feelings for each other. But Kaz’s attempts to work through what to do only cause misunderstandings and upsets. Until it all comes out and feelings are finally revealed. Hurt-comfort, angst-fluff.
Warnings: misunderstandings, SoC content. One curse word.
Notes: I’m SOOO sorry this took so long. It got lost in my requests!
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Y/n sat on the edge of the roof kicking swinging legs back and forth. She bit into her bottom lip as she tried to keep herself calm; too many thoughts racing through her mind tonight. Needless, futile, stupid, jealous thoughts. She quickly released her lip from her teeth as she felt eyes on her. She scanned the skyline before relenting to who she’d assumed it was from the start and turned to look over her shoulder, “yes?”
Y/n watched as Inej made herself seen and slowly approached. That friendly smile of hers felt taunting in this moment. But y/n pasted one on herself before turning back to face the Ketterdam rooftops.
“Why are you out here this late?” Inej questioned softly as she carefully sat down beside y/n.
Y/n shrugged silently, not looking away from the skyline. She wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. When Inej wanted something, she got that thing. If only she hadn’t happened to want Kaz the way y/n did. But y/n refused to tell Inej that that was what had brought her out here tonight.
“Y/n, come on, everyone can tell you’re upset,” Inej remarked as the gray clouds above them began to drip rain onto the girls.
“I’m fine,” y/n retorted simply, briefly glancing at Inej’s side-profile.
Inej stared at y/n skeptically. “No one chooses to sit on a rooftop this late, in this weather, if they’re fine,” she argued.
“It wasn’t raining until you got here,” y/n pointed out with a shrug. Fitting. Her love life didn’t feel like it was going through a downpour until Inej entered the picture either. How ironic.
“I’m not just talking about tonight, y/n/n,” Inej sighed. “You’ve been distant and… sad.”
Inej had a point. Of course she did. Y/n had spent the last several weeks trying to distance herself from the crows. Well… from Kaz. And Inej. And mostly Kaz and Inej together. Which was occurring more often than not lately. The images from the last month played back in her mind yet again as if to remind her of her misery.
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Y/n twirled the shiny coin around in between her pointer and middle finger as she practically bounced her way up the stairs to Kaz’s room, a smile on her face. She’d managed to trick some rich merchant into giving it to and she thought Kaz would love it. Maybe he’d even be proud of her for such an achievement. Although, truthfully she’d simply done it because she wanted him to have it thanks to the hopeless crush she’d developed a few weeks ago. Kaz didn’t date. Kaz didn’t look at anyone that way. Y/n included. But, maybe…
Y/n hummed to herself, knocking briefly on Kaz’s wooden door before letting herself in. She paused promptly upon realizing he wasn’t alone. Inej was here. Y/n swallowed thickly as she shifted her stance a bit. “I… umm.., sorry-,” she mumbled.
Inej stepped away from Kaz with a soft shake of her head as she smiled at y/n. “Hey y/n,” she greeted sweetly. “He’s all yours, I was just leaving,” she told the girl.
Y/n’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as her heart sank over Kaz’s immediate response to Inej’s words. His hand. He was… Kaz had reached out and gripped Inej’s wrist to stop her from leaving. He didn’t do that sorta thing. That wasn’t him. Yet, here he was. Doing that. Touching her. Inej. Y/n couldn’t help but stare at the hold Kaz had on Inej’s wrist. His gloves were on… but still.. he didn’t touch people. He didn’t react like that. So instinctual that he’d physically stop someone instead of using his words commands. He really didn’t want her to leave. She tore her eyes away from their hands only to find an equally, if not more, painful sight.
Kaz and Inej stood silently, staring at each other, no words exchanged but both wore meaningful expressions.
Y/n felt a lump in her throat as she tried to swallow. This wasn’t happening. She knew the chances of her crush being anything but a crush were slim. Especially given it was on Kaz. But… The one time she held romantic feelings for someone this happened? What’re the odds her crush would get over his trouble being open with people only to fall for someone else? Her hand holding the coin trembled lightly at her side as she analyzed Kaz’s face. He was stern and serious, but instead of his ever-present stoic expression, his eyes seemed to be…. They were almost… pleading. Ouch. She couldn’t make out Inej’s expression fully from this angle. But from what she could see, Inej held a tender gaze and a small but warm smile. Y/n squeezed her eyes shut tightly as if that would somehow make the sight before her disappear. “Umm..,” she cleared her throat, feeling as though she was interrupting… something. Something she wished she wasn’t happening. But it was. “I, sorry,” she repeated as she slowly opened her eyes. They finally stopped touching and were both now facing her. “I didn’t mean to…,” y/n shook her head, unable to say the words. “Anyways, I umm…,” she mumbled.
“Y/n,” Kaz spoke, his stoic expression back in place. “Out with it,” he instructed.
Hearing his gruff voice say her name in a moment like this hurt. But not as much as him ordering her to get on with it did. He didn’t want her here. She’d interrupted his time… his moment… with Inej. Inej was who he wanted to be speaking with, who he wanted to have present in the room now. Not y/n. “Right,” y/n creaked. “I just, I thought you might want this,” she explained, walking over to his desk. The coin clanged against the table top as she placed it down.
“Where..? Where did you g-,” Kaz began to ask as y/n stepped back from the desk.
“I made a deal with a merchant,” y/n shrugged, pretending it was nothing. In truth, it wasn’t nothing. It had taken her a week and a half to arrange and wasn’t the safest plan. But now… now it truly didn’t matter. In the end, maybe it was nothing.
Kaz scrutinized the rare coin from a distance, not having moved from the spot he was in when y/n first entered. As he looked up from his desk, he found she’d made her way to the door. He felt Inej watching him knowingly, but he didn’t know what to say. Why had y/n gotten this coin? And why had she given it to him? Had she done something she was trying to cover up? Or perhaps trying to get ahead of some mistake she might make later? Or…? No.
“It’s really shiny,” Inej commented with an encouraging smile.
“You don’t owe me anything,” Kaz spoke, picking up on Inej’s not-so-subtle hint to talk to y/n.
Y/n nodded, “I know”. She swallowed and turned her gaze away from the soft way Inej was looking at Kaz. “Goodnight”. It was a weird exit, but what else was she supposed to say after that?
—-
Y/n halted in the doorway, unconsciously stumbling backwards a bit. This was getting to be too much. First it was walking in on their moment. Then it was watching Inej go to his office every single night for the past week. But now this? She hadn’t realized she’d moved backwards, away from the scene before her until she felt her back bump into someone. She silently turned around. Nina. She offered her friend and fellow crow an apologetic expression, not having known she was behind her. She watched as Nina noticed the scene that was now behind y/n, her eyes widening with surprise before quickly narrowing in confusion. She couldn’t hear this. Nina loved gossip. She loved Nina. But she couldn’t bear to talk about the potential romance between Kaz and Inej. Before Nina could react further or comment, y/n side stepped her in the narrow hallway and quickly left the safe house. She made her way to the backside of the building and rested her back against the brick wall as her butt slid to the ground. Breathe. It’s fine. She has no claim to him anyways. It was an unrequited crush. Is. Not was. As much as she’d hoped the tortuous observations of the last week would break her crush, they didn’t. They just broke her instead.
“Y/n? You have to talk to someone about whatever is-” Inej’s voice pleaded, bringing y/n back to the present moment. A moment where y/n had ventured out of The Crow Club in hopes the cold air would relieve some of the ache in her chest from having witnessed her crush and his crush on what seemed like a date. Except now, to add to her never ending embarrassment and heartbreak, her crush’s crush was now questioning her as to what was troubling her. Saints she really has the worst luck. It hurt even more because she and Inej used to be close. She didn’t want to lose her friend. But every time she saw Inej now, it physically hurt. Hence why she was trying to distance herself from Kaz and her both. Until her heart had time to heal and move on.
Y/n shook her head.
Inej set a soft hand on y/n’s rain-soaked shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything,” she reminded the girl.
“No I can’t!” Y/n cried. Her eyes widened in shock over her outburst and she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth, ignoring the fact that due to it being rainy tiny grains from the roof’s shingles had transferred to her hand and were now poking her face.
“What?” Inej frowned. “Why not?” When she didn’t get a response, she sighed. “Please? If I did something wrong I’d like to fix it”.
Y/n felt a few guilty tears escape her eyes. She wiped the grains off her face before she lowered her hand back to the shingles under them. “You didn’t, Inej… I’m sorry,” she whimpered quietly, “you didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Then why can’t you talk to me?” Inej asked.
Y/n sighed. “I’m just… working through something,” she explained vaguely.
Inej nodded, “I’d like to help”.
“Inej… Thank you, truly,” y/n replied. “But, it’s not fair for me to talk to you about this”. Inej hadn’t done this intentionally. It wasn’t fair for y/n to be upset with her. Or to be upset about it at all. But she was.
“So it does involve me,” Inej interpreted. “Y/n, please just tell me, I know your heart, I know you won’t mean any malice with whatever it is…”
Y/n sighed. Maybe this is what it would take. Maybe this would help her accept the way things were. Maybe it would help her finally be able to move on. To have Inej back as a friend. To not have an ache in her chest every time she looked at Kaz. Maybe even to be happy for them finding love together. Oww. That one still stung. Maybe that one would take longer. It wasn’t fair to make Inej feel guilty for this. But perhaps by telling her, maybe Inej would adjust her behaviors so that it wasn’t so in her face. Not that Inej owed her that. And y/n could never dare ask for that. But Inej was caring. Maybe she’d offer to keep her and Kaz’s affairs more secret. At least until y/n moved on.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this… and please don’t tell anyone, especially him…,” y/n pleaded. She felt bad for asking Inej to keep a secret from her… boyfriend? Is that was she and Kaz were now? She shook the question off. “But, I… kinda sorta… may have developed a little bit of a crush on…” she mumbled slowly. “Kaz, and I know how insane that it is. I knew the even before I knew about you two. But now I feel even worse about it,” she rushed out as quickly as possible. “And I’m so sorry Inej! I-”.
“Wait..,” Inej interrupted, resting her palm on y/n’s shoulder. “Why are you apologizing to me for liking Kaz?” She asked.
“Because it’s not fair to you! And I would never act on it now that I know, I swear!” Y/n vowed.
“Now that you know what?” Inej questioned, choosing just one of the many questions she now had.
“Inej,” y/n sighed as she looked her way. “I know about you and Kaz,” she informed her. “And I’m happy for you, really! It’s just that right now-”.
Inej couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry,” she apologized. “But I couldn’t help it. Y/n, there’s nothing between me and Kaz,” she promised.
Y/n gave Inej a look of frustration. “Inej,” she scolded.
“I swear on every single Saint out there, I have no feelings for Kaz and he has none for me,” Inej spoke softly.
Y/n looked away for a moment, contemplating the last month. “I’ve seen it,” she argued. Maybe they were both too clueless to see it themselves? Was she really now going to have to point out to Inej how Kaz saw her? How he’d unknowingly chosen her over y/n? The universe was cruel.
“What are you-,” Inej began.
“You’re always in his office. He doesn’t let many people do that Inej. Then there’s the way he’s always looking over at you randomly. The way he tended to your wounds after the fight with Marcello. It first dawned on me when I saw the way he reached for your hand to stop you from leaving when I came to give him that damn coin,” y/n rambled, facing the skyline so as to not let Inej see her tears.
Inej closed her eyes as she was hit with guilt. She hadn’t considered how those things looked. Her eyes opened upon hearing y/n try to stifle a sniffle. She promptly stood up and held her hand out for y/n who gazed up at her in confusion. “Trust me, please,” Inej requested.
Kaz’s eyes snapped to the window as y/n and Inej made their way back inside. His eyes scanned y/n’s appearance but stopped upon seeing her red eyes. He turned his gaze to Inej in question as the Wraith looked his way.
Inej sensed the way y/n tensed up beside her. No, No, No. It wasn’t like that. No wonder y/n thought Kaz liked her. He was looking at her a lot lately. But it wasn’t for the reasons y/n thought! She turned to her friend and gripped her hand tightly. She wordlessly made her way to Kaz, dragging the girl with her. She gave Kaz a knowing stare, “now”.
Inej noticed the way Kaz seemed reluctant. Still. After everything she’d tried to do to convince him the past month. She narrowed her eyes and gave him a look. “Kaz, I’m dead serious. You have to tell her,” she commanded in a whispered but sharp tone.
Y/n heard Inej’s whisper and tugged on the hand that was keeping her from fleeing. “Inej?” She asked, uncertain where this was going.
Inej faced y/n with a supportive smile and shook her head. “I promise, it’ll all be made clear”. Her head snapped to the left as she narrowed her eyes at Kaz. “Won’t it Kaz?”
Kaz squinted in confusion. He looked over at y/n, trying to ignore the way her reddened eyes made his chest hurt. “What is it that is unclear?”
Y/n rapidly shook her head as she stared at Inej.
Inej sighed. Y/n didn’t want her to say anything. But it would be in y/n’s best interest if Inej ignored those wishes. “I…,” she began, but stopped. Kaz needed to do this. He needed to be the one to tell her. She worked with him for a month on this. The misunderstandings that were troubling y/n couldn’t be for nothing. “Just…. Tell her. Now,” she ordered, squeezing y/n’s shoulder before quickly leaving. She shut the door behind her and sighed as she silently prayed to her Saints for Kaz to finally tell y/n.
“Kaz?” Y/n asked nervously as she turned back to him after having watched Inej abandon her here.
“I’ve been keeping something from you,” Kaz confessed, his anxious eyes scanning her every move as he tried to read her mind. He watched as she nodded. Did she already know? No. If she did she wouldn’t be standing here. But maybe that’s why she had been crying. No. Inej wouldn’t demand he tell her if she already knew. So why was she nodding? And why had she been crying?
“Sometimes I hate you,” Kaz told her.
“You hate me?”
This wasn’t how Inej had instructed him to tell her when they rehearsed earlier tonight. But if he had to do this now and not on his own time, when he knew for certain how y/n felt, then this was how it was going to go. Not like it would matter anyways. It was likely unrequited.
“Sometimes. You’ve ruined things”.
“I… I… didn’t mean to”.
“That’s just it y/n,” he sighed, punching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not even fair for me to hate you from time to time over this because you didn’t mean to do any it. You didn’t mean to drive me insane. You didn’t mean to make me break the one vow I made to myself…”
“I don’t…”
“I told myself I’d never let someone in,” Kaz explained. “And then, you….” He groaned. “I don’t know how you did it. And I know you didn’t mean to. So, I know you don’t feel the same. But that doesn’t mean I don’t despise the fact you managed to do this”.
“Do what?”
“Make me feel this way!” Kaz rose his voice.
She squinted. “What are you talking about?” “You’re mad I managed to make you hate me?” she asked, seeking clarification.
“No! Dammit,” Kaz scoffed. “I’m mad you made me feel.”
“Feel what?”
“Everything.”
“Wh…?”
“You made me feel, y/n. In general. But also things I had buried years ago, with the intent to never feel again. You made me feel and I hate it.”
“Are you…? No… You’re not… You’re not actually suggesting you have feelings for me, are you?” Y/n asked in offense. Would he really stoop to this level?
Kaz looked away from her, opting to stare at his windowsill instead.
“If you’re trying to do this to keep your relationship with Inej a secret you don’t have to, I won’t-”.
Kaz choked on his breath. “My what?! …with who?!”
“Kaz”.
“No,” he cut her off as he shook his head and stepped closer. “Is that…” he began. Unlikely. He was probably projecting by thinking it might have something to do with why she’s been distant. Frustration took over as he found his mind to be a mess of crossed wires and chaos. He’d tried to express his feelings to best he can but was still not successful in getting her to understand. He knew she might not feel same way but still, this was annoying. “I’m not trying to con anyone,” he said, voice coming out a bit angry from his disbelief. He’d just confessed his feelings and she was questioning his sincerity and intentions? “If I was trying to hide my… feelings.. would I have just admired that vulnerability to you?” He asked rhetorically.
“But… you…”
“What?”
“The looks”.
“Excuse me?” Kaz sighed. “Full sentences would be great, y/n”.
“I’ve seen the way you are with her,” y/n defended.
“Care to elaborate?” He asked, brow raised.
“First, there was when I came in to give you the-,” she paused as her eyes caught sight of the item in question. He kept it. He hadn’t sold it. And not only did he keep it, he had it on a cushioned pad on his desk. He never kept trinkets on his desk. Focus. “That coin,” she said bringing the conversation back. “I walked in on… Well I don’t really know but, I saw the way you didn’t want her to leave. I clearly interpreted something and you didn’t want me to see it but I could tell you didn’t want her to leave”.
Kaz hummed in understanding. “You did interpret something that night.” He ran his hands over the coin in question for a moment in silence before putting it back down. “And you’re right. You don’t know what it was.” He sighed as he felt his cheeks flush. “I had asked Inej to help me with a project”. When she nodded slowly, he hesitantly continued. “That’s all”.
“It was really important,” y/n recalled, picturing the way he’d actually grabbed for Inej’s wrist.
“It was.” Kaz swallowed. “I tasked her with finding out how you’d feel if I told you…. If we had this conversation,” he corrected.
“What about when you were fixing her cuts from the fight against-”
“Marcello?” Kaz asked for her, knowing he’d only done such a thing once and still felt weird about it. “She’d refused to answer my questions until her wounds were stitched”.
“What questions?”
“Why you seemed to be becoming more distant. If she’d told you despite swearing not to.”
Y/n nodded slowly as she tried to absorb and analyze the information. He noticed? He was worried about that? So much so he attended to Inej’s cuts in order to get the answers to those questions?
“This is what Inej meant by things needing to become clear, isn’t it?” Kaz asked.
Y/n nodded.
Kaz hummed, “anything else?”
“You keep looking over at her randomly.”
Kaz chuckled dryly. So much for the silent check ins being subtle. “It’s not random”.
“Right.. no, I know.. that’s-”.
“I…. I can handle most things on my own, but making conversation, being… friendly.., isn’t my forte.” He sighed. “Inej was also tasked with correcting me if I said or did something that… well.. might have upset you or be taken wrong”.
Y/n blinked slowly at Kaz in surprise. “You-… what?”
“Anything else?” Kaz echoed as he cleared his throat.
“Tonight…”
Kaz groaned. “Ironically, Inej was trying to persuade me into having this exact conversation with you”.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did she want you to have this conversation with me?”
Kaz was silent for a moment. “She claimed she was tired of trying to collect signs that this conversation would go well and threatened that if I didn’t have this conversation soon she’d tell you herself.” He bashfully looked away from her again.
“You… you went and did all of this… because you didn’t know how I’d react?”
Kaz nodded stiffly.
“I … I’m still not sure I understand,” y/n confessed. “And I really don’t want to misinterpret this cause I’ll say something I’ll probably die of embarrassment for saying if I do”. “So…,” she shook her head in confusion. “I know feelings are… new… for you Kaz, but… You’ve both stated you hate me and that you were willing to go through all of this because you needed to know how I’d react to you telling me i made you feel things… but that’s… well, confusing!”
“Sometimes I hate you because I don’t hate you. Because I can’t. I hate that I feel… anything. Because it’s pointless. I hate that I can’t do anything about the way I feel. I hate that I feel I have to tell you this. I hate that nothing will come of this. I hate what this means for you”.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m wretched, y/n. And so is the Barrel,” Kaz said as he shook his head. “If anyone else knew this.. what I’ve been trying to tell you… you’d be in danger”.
“Are you saying that… no… I need you to say it. What is it you’re saying Kaz?”
“Even though unrequited, my feelings for you could be harmful if word got out. So while you might wish to gossip about managing to make the Bastard of the Barrel feel, I don’t advise doing so outside of the crows, or with Jesper either, he’s rather loose lipped and if it gets out to the wrong people you might be in the line of fire and-,” Kaz rambled nervously.
“Kaz stop… you… you like me?”
“Yes,” he answered gruffly. “How many times do I need to say that?”
“Once Kaz. I needed you to say it once,” she sighed. “You said you hated me.”
“Sometimes”.
“Right, sometimes hate me”.
Kaz echoed her sigh. “I don’t actually hate you. Ever. I can’t. I hate that I can’t, but it’s true.”
“So you just… like me? But.., hate that you do?” Y/n questioned. When he nodded silently, she frowned. “Am I really that bad?”
“What?!” Kaz hissed, his sharp gaze snapping over to her.
“Is liking me so horrible?”
“No,” He answered as he moved closer. “Unfortunately it’s not. That’s the problem.”
“Then why do you hate that you like me?”
“I told myself I wouldn’t feel this way. For anyone. Ever.”
“What’s so bad about feeling this way for someone?”
“I told you y/n,” Kaz complained with a sigh. “Nothing can come of it,” he reminded her.
“So… even though you like me. And I….” She took a deep breath, still in disbelief she was going to admit it to his face. “Like you,” she finished. “And all this miscommunication is cleared up, you’re saying that-,”.
“What?” Kaz croaked, eyes locked on her.
“What?”
“What did you just say?”
“The miscommunication is cleared up,” y/n repeated. That wasn’t what he was referring to.
“Before that y/n,” Kaz amended.
“That I like you. I said I like you Kaz”.
It was silent in the room for a painfully long time before he spoke again. When he did, all Kaz said was, “you do..?”
Y/n laughed. “Yes Kaz, that’s why I was upset over you and Inej being-”
“Nothing, we’re nothing,” Kaz interrupted.
“I know,” she smiled, “now”.
Kaz nodded. “You like me,” he whispered.
“I do,” she acknowledged. “And you like me”.
“I do”. He nodded. “But y/n-”.
“No”.
“No?”
“We didn’t just talk through all of this for you to just go back to pretending that we didn’t,” she declared.
“Y/n, if the Dime Lions, or Pekka, or-”.
“I don’t care”
“I do,” Kaz stated sharply.
“I know,” she replied as she moved closer to him. “And I appreciate that. But you know I can defend myself”.
“Yes, but the risks are too-”
“That’s what we do isn’t it?” She asked. Upon seeing the confusion in his eyes, she explained, “we take risks.”
“Not with your life, y/n”.
“I’ve already tried to ignore the way I feel, and it doesn’t work. That’s not living, Kaz”.
“You’d still be alive,” he argued.
“I would be either way, Kaz. It doesn’t have to be so dramatic and black and white”.
When Kaz merely sighed, she shook her head. “If you don’t want to be with me for any other reason, then-”.
“That’s not it,” he nearly growled.
“Then stop resisting. You’re refusing to let yourself live because of the chance something could go wrong. But, that’s life Kaz,” she spoke softly.
“You want this? Knowing the risks?”
“I do.” She nodded. “We can keep it secret if that would make you feel better. I don’t care.”
“It would, but what if it-”
“If it gets out, we deal with it, then. Together. Deal Brekker?”
The edges of Kaz’s lips uncontrollably curled up. “The deal is the deal,” he conceded, already plotting ways to keep this development on lockdown with top level privacy.
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54 notes · View notes
igbylicious · 2 days
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[preview] whichever way pt13
hello sweet people, life has not been very kind & i will def miss my own self-imposed deadline of updating whiway at least once every 4 weeks again T_T to tide you over & try to ease my own frustration, pls accept the first ~400 words of the next chapter as a lil teaser (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
warnings: silly domestic fluff, San is a cutiepie, joking abt bondage
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“Pick me, I’m tasty!” the little raccoon dog mascot on the instant noodles package says to you, in an adorably pitchy sing-song voice. San pokes his face out from behind the package, his open-mouthed smile so bright and wide he almost looks like a cartoon character himself.
You giggle at San’s antics, though you ignore the packet in his hands and reach for a different one from the store’s shelves. “Cute! But no; this is the one Wooyoung asked for,” you say, holding up the extra spicy variant.
“That’s what Wooyoung asked for, yes,” San pouts, reverting to his normal voice, “but he always steals mine and leaves the hot ones for me. He can buy them himself if he wants them, I’m not doing this anymore! My mouth has burned enough.”
“Fine fine, this is between you and Wooyoung,” you laugh at San’s impassioned speech. “I’m telling him it’s your fault if he complains. This is a lovers’ quarrel I’m not getting involved in!”
And so only the mildest of instant noodles end up in your cart before you go through the rest of the store. The separation between your groceries and those of San and Wooyoung grows blurrier with every trip; Wooyoung didn’t even ask if you were joining them for dinner, only how you felt about beef bibimbap for tonight.
It’s busy at the store today, meaning there’s a bit of a line for the cash registry. Bored by the wait, San toys with the strings of his hoodie. He fiddles with them for a while, then pulls the strings taut until the hoodie hides all but a glimpse of his face, his nose peeking out along with a tiny feline grin on his lips.
At first you just fondly watched him — but now you can’t resist temptation. You steal the strings away from San to tie them into a tight knot, trapping him in his hoodie.
“Ack!” San yelps, startled and pawing at your hands to get back control of the strings.
Giggling, you take mercy on him and undo the knot again. “Sorry, guess I’m in the mood to practice a little more ropework today,” you joke, taking off San’s hood and fixing a few upright tufts of his hair.
“Oh, are you now?” he says, his indignant sulk only tempting you to do it again. “Starting to regret I taught you anything at all. You have way too much power now.”
“The power of tying a simple knot?!” you laugh. “Don’t take too much credit, mister, I didn’t need you to teach me that one!”
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ely--sia · 3 days
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velvet ring
contents: unreliable narrator!geto suguru x reader; modern au, fluff, geto is the most unreliable narrator ever words: 1.5k warnings: none
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it’s late june, the beginning of an endlessly hot summer. hot, hot sunlight streams through the deep, bright green of the summer leaves, and the ringing sound of cicadas cuts through the humid summer of tokyo like a hot knife against cool butter. it’s almost too hot to breathe. still, suguru makes his way to his part-time job, a cold can of coffee in his left hand and his phone in his right. he never really liked coffee, but he likes the cool of it in his hand. he feels each drop of condensation on the cool metal, rubbing it away with his thumb before shaking all the water off. he cracks it open and takes a sip. 
he remembers again why he never liked coffee. still, he swallows it down with a grimace and glances down at his phone.
today’s a thursday, and his classes end early on thursdays. he’ll make it to his part-time job, the one at the old kissaten, by midday. then, when he finishes at five, he’ll have thirty minutes for a quick dinner before making his way to his other job. 
a heavy sigh leaves suguru’s lips. 
it isn’t because he’s tired. yes, he is tired—he would be lying if he said he wasn’t—but it’s a good kind of tired that leaves his bones singing. it’s the kind of tired that he knows will be worth it in the end. besides, he’s used to work. coming up to tokyo from the countryside for university, working multiple part-time jobs is nothing foreign to him. to suguru, money isn’t some kind of commodity; it’s something that needs to be worked for and earned (even though gojo disagrees), and his body has long become used to late nights and achy muscles. 
no, suguru sighs because he’ll finish at 11 tonight, and he doesn’t know what excuse to tell you this time. you don’t know about him working, and, if all goes well, it will stay that way. he hopes that you’ll turn in early tonight and that by the time you call him the next morning, all worried and apologetic for not checking in, he’ll be able to reassure you that he got back home before nine and spent the entire night studying. he will melt at your sweetness, then turn solid and bitter at the ashy lie on his tongue. but he can’t help it. suguru doesn’t like lying to you, but he can’t avoid it this time.
the truth is, he’s saving up to buy you a gift, and he knows you won’t like that he’s working multiple jobs to get it for you. but it’s something that he wants to do, just because he can. you’re too sweet, too concerned for his well-being to understand. in fact, he can almost see it, your exasperated sighs and furrowed brows as you scold him for doing something so meaningless, insisting that you would’ve been fine without it (but you will still take it, and you will still trace it softly with your fingers every now and then, and to suguru, there is all the meaning in the world in that). he would simply laugh and smooth your furrowed brows with his thumbs, holding your face gently in his hands. he would look down at you with a gaze oozing with so much love that he secretly fears that it might drown you. and as always, he would tell you that a small ‘thank you’ is all he needs (it really is; really, it’s a lot more than what he needs, but he’ll still take it and hide it selfishly under his tongue, savoring it again and again and again until not even the bare bones of your words are left).
his silly lover. his sweet, sweet lover.
his heart flutters, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips.
the summer heat doesn’t feel so unbearable anymore.
two months pass, and summer is almost over. suguru has finally saved up enough to buy your gift. he holds the small, white bag tightly in his sweaty hands. he hopes you like it, but if you don’t, suguru will just try again and again and again until he finally finds something that you do like. hopefully even love. to him, it doesn’t sound half bad.
“i got this for you,” he says, taking your hand and folding your fingers around the rope handles of the bag. this way, you’ll have to take it.
inside it is a gold necklace with a small, moon-shaped charm. it glints brilliant and white in the warm light of suguru’s home, and it captivates you. it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, much less owned.
“suguru…” you start, but you don’t know what to say next. 
luckily, you don’t have to say anything. suguru knows you like the back of his own calloused hand. 
“don’t worry,” he says, “i saw it on the way here. i thought it would look nice on you. it’s nothing too expensive.”
this is a lie, of course. really, suguru knew it would look good on you two months ago, when he first saw it in the window of a jewelry shop at the department store. but he would never let you know that.
you stare at the necklace for a moment, and suguru stares at you. he watches as you try to find the right words to say, gaze shifting from the necklace, then to him, then to the necklace, then back to him again. a warm sense of pride rises inside him, and he can barely hide the smile on his face now. 
“do you like it?” he grins, “i’ll put it on for you.”
he grasps the ends of the necklace and moves behind you to do the clasps. his fingers brush against the soft, untouched skin of your neck, and he is a teenage boy again, praying that his sins go unnoticed by the gods. as he does this, you turn your head back to look up at him. there’s a sweetness spilling through his ribs and it’s almost too much. his chest squeezes tight, lest any of his heavy, heavy love spills onto you. when he finishes, he turns you around to get a good look. 
ah. 
you look beautiful. 
he knew it.
“thank you so much,” you say, “really. thank you. i don’t know how to–”
“if you like it, then that’s all that matters,” suguru cuts you off with a wide smile. 
he doesn’t understand why you thank him so profusely—you deserve more than just a necklace after all (would his entire being be enough? would you take him if he begged you to?)—but he’ll still savor it. the words that fall from your lips are even sweeter than he had ever imagined words could be, and he never wants you to thank anyone else ever again. he’s a selfish, selfish man. will you ever understand?
he would buy you a thousand more necklaces. he would love the world for you (hatred is easy; finding love for such an ugly, powerless thing is much harder, suguru thinks). you only need to ask. all you ever need to do is ask. 
“but it looks really expensive,” you look up at him with concern. 
“i told you, it was nothing,” he hums, praying that you don’t question him any further. lying to you doesn’t come so easily, and after two months of it, he doesn’t know if he can bear to tell you another.
you look into his eyes, searching for even a hint of a lie. 
suguru holds his breath. 
he will never let you know the truth. you’d hate it. maybe even hate him. it would be far too much of a burden, especially for a necklace. he loves in a way that is suffocating and thick and heavy, and he is afraid that you might realize it for yourself one day. so he will keep the truth, and the barely-there ache in his muscles that comes with it, hidden for himself, tucked away deep inside the space between his heart and his lungs, and you will never have to know. and when you are gone—and he is sure you will be some day, finally tired of just how honey-thick his love is—he will replay this exact feeling until it fades away completely from his memory.
finally, you break out into a wide grin, and suguru’s world becomes a little brighter than before. his arms move to hold you as you bury your face into his chest. despite his age, he still finds his face growing hot, praying that you don’t hear how fast his heart beats. a small part of him even worries that you might even feel his thoughts through his skin, but he pushes that silly thought away. 
“thank you so much,” you laugh, “i love it.”
your laugh rings through his chest, and, just for a moment, he is cleansed of the heavy, leaden feeling inside. thick, black tar turns into flowing water. 
oh. maybe you do understand—have understood, for a long time now. still, you are here.
he chuckles. 
his silly lover. his sweet, sweet lover. 
“i’m glad.”
-
-
-
-
a/n: geto is an unreliable narrator and you don't think of this of him, but he doesn't know that :(( sugu thinks his love is the opposite of what he thinks love should be like (whimsical, light, etc. etc.) :(( and that it's only a matter of time before u realise it and leave him ;(( he's too sweet that's y he's like this my baby
but i dont really like this one ill try better next time <33
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jermer10 · 2 days
Note
idk if you do any repeats of requests but that fake dating scout anon had me thinking if maybe we could get more jealous scout? if possible?
TF2 playing pretend | scout x reader
gn reader | i freaking LOVE jealous scout <33
drabbles under the cut :P
You didn’t think much of it when Scout asked you for a favour.
"Come on," he pleaded, leaning against the doorframe of your room, flashing that signature grin of his. "Just one night. Pretend to be my date, and I swear I’ll owe you big time." Apparently, some of the guys had been giving him a hard time about not being able to get a date for the RED team new years party. You’d always had a soft spot for Scout and his endless charisma, so you agreed. After all, it wasn’t like anything real would come from it. You figured it’d be easy enough - hang out with him for a few hours, let him save face in front of the team, and then go back to your normal routine.
Except you didn’t expect him to get this into it. And you definitely didn’t expect him to get jealous.
The night of the event, you walked in with Scout by your side, his hand loosely around your waist. He was all smiles, playing the part to perfection, and for the first hour or so, everything was fine. He was charming, cracking jokes, introducing you to everyone as his "date." It was almost fun - Scout was energetic and easygoing, always keeping the conversation light. But as the night wore on, you noticed a shift.
The first sign was when Sniper approached you.
You’d always gotten along well with Sniper, and it wasn’t unusual for the two of you to chat during downtime. He made his way over during a quiet moment, tipping his hat with that low drawl of his. "Lookin’ nice tonight," he said, giving you a small smile. "Thanks," you replied, feeling a little flattered. Scout was busy talking with Engineer and hadn’t seemed to notice. Sniper leaned against the wall, his tall frame relaxed, and you found yourself easily slipping into conversation with him. He had a way of making you feel at ease, and soon, you were laughing at something he said about one of the recent missions.
But then you felt it - a subtle shift in the air. Scout had appeared at your side, his arm now more possessively wrapped around your waist than it had been earlier. "You good here, pal?" Scout asked Sniper, his tone light but with an unmistakable edge. He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was not happy. Sniper raised an eyebrow but didn’t seem fazed. "Just talkin’ to ‘em, mate. Didn’t realize you were the jealous type."
"Jealous?" Scout scoffed, his grip tightening slightly on your waist. "Nah, just making sure everything’s cool. You know, since they’re my date tonight." The emphasis on the last two words was hard to miss, and you could feel the tension between the two of them rising. Sniper just chuckled softly, clearly amused. "Right. I’ll leave you to it, then." He gave you a wink before walking off, and you could practically feel the heat radiating from Scout beside you. "You good?" you asked, looking up at him once Sniper was out of earshot. Scout turned his gaze to you, eyes narrowing slightly before he quickly shook it off. "Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just didn’t like how he was gettin’ all buddy-buddy with ya." You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden defensiveness. "Scout, we were just talking."
"Yeah, well, didn’t look like just talking to me," he muttered, his usual cocky grin faltering for a moment. You tilted your head, studying him. "Wait… are you jealous?" His face flushed immediately, and he quickly looked away, trying to regain his composure. "Jealous? Me? Nah! Pfft, why would I be jealous? I mean, this whole thing’s fake, right? Just doin’ me a favour." He laughed, but it didn’t reach his eyes. You blinked, taken aback by his reaction. He was fidgeting, shifting from foot to foot, avoiding your gaze—a stark contrast to his usual cocky demeanor. And that’s when it hit you.
Maybe this wasn’t just fake for him.
"Scout…" you started, your voice soft but playful, "you do know this is just pretend, right? There’s no need to get worked up over it." But he wasn’t looking at you anymore, his jaw set tightly. "Yeah, pretend. Sure. Like we agreed on." He was silent for a moment before his eyes flicked back to yours, the playful gleam in them replaced with something more serious. "Look, forget I said anything. Let’s just get back to the party." Before you could respond, Scout let go of your waist and walked away, leaving you standing there, more confused than ever.
The rest of the night passed awkwardly. Scout tried to brush it off, acting as if everything was fine, but the tension between you was palpable. Every time someone else approached you - whether it was Sniper, Spy, or anyone else - Scout was right there, cutting in with a joke or changing the subject, his jealousy glaringly obvious.
Eventually, you couldn’t take it anymore.
When you both stepped outside for some air, away from the rest of the team, you turned to him, crossing your arms. "Okay, enough. What’s going on, Scout?" He blinked at you, shocked by your bluntness. "What? Nothin’. Just...enjoying the party."
"Don’t give me that. You’ve been acting weird ever since Sniper came over earlier. Are you seriously upset over this fake dating thing?" For a moment, Scout was silent. Then he ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. "Okay, fine. Yeah, maybe I got a little jealous. So what? It’s not like I meant to or anything. I just...I don’t like seeing you with other people, alright?" You stared at him, processing his words. "Scout...it’s not real. We’re just pretending, remember?"
"Yeah, but..." He trailed off, eyes flicking down to the ground. "Maybe it was never fake for me, okay?" That stopped you in your tracks. "What?" Scout’s face flushed as he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. "I dunno, alright? I sorta used this whole 'favour' thing as a ploy to try and ask you out. Like, for real." He let out a nervous laugh, but it quickly died off as he looked back at you, his usual bravado gone. "I like you, okay? And it’s stupid, ‘cause I didn’t want to make things weird, but I guess I already did." You were stunned. Of all the things you’d expected, this wasn’t one of them. Scout, the cocky, carefree loudmouth, was standing there, spilling his feelings, clearly terrified of what you’d say next.
Slowly, a smile crept onto your face. "You know, if you’d just told me how you felt from the start, we wouldn’t have had to go through all this fake dating nonsense." Scout blinked, staring at you. "I- what?" You laughed softly, stepping closer to him. "I like you too, Scout. Maybe I was waiting for you to make a move first."
For a moment, he just stood there, processing your words. Then, slowly, a grin spread across his face - the same confident grin you knew so well. "Wait, really? You’re not messin’ with me?"
"Nope," you said, shaking your head. "Not pretending this time." Scout’s grin widened, and before you knew it, he’d pulled you into a tight hug, his energy suddenly bouncing back. "Oh man, this is awesome! I knew you liked me!" He pulled back just enough to give you a playful smirk. "Guess the fake dating thing wasn’t such a bad idea after all, huh?" You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that stayed on your face. "Yeah, yeah. Just don’t get too cocky about it."
"No promises," Scout said, still grinning as he took your hand, this time holding it for real.
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allzelemonz · 19 hours
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Image: Dutch Van der Linde X Male Reader
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Pronouns: he/him, Reader referred to as ‘boy’ Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: T/Violence Warnings: period typical homophobia, internalized homophobia, d/s undertones, reader implied to be younger, age gap, bruises Summary: You mess up and show a little affection in public, Dutch is set off.
You weren’t thinking. It’s been so long since the gang had gone out to a saloon with all this running back West and you’d gotten so used to getting to do what you want affection wise. Dutch, however, did not forget. He was, and always is, thinking so very deeply about everything imaginable. So when you leaned over and brushed your hand against his, he noticed. He noticed like that voice itching the back of his brain said everyone else did.
So he grabbed your arm, fingers bruising at your bicep, and hauled you out and into the alley. A somewhat confused Arthur and Hosea following after and lingering just off the street as Dutch pulls you into shadow.
“The hell are you thinkin’, boy?” Dutch huffs, squeezing harshly at your arm.
“I didn’t--”
“Folks in this state get killed for that and we don’t need the goddamn heat.” His eyebrows fall downward into an angry crinkle. “Do you understand?”
You watch the twitch of his eyes, the way they scan over your face like a man that’s never seen you before. And seeing Dutch so irate with nerves makes words catch in your throat, so you settle for nodding.
“Go get on the damn horse, boy.” Dutch huffs, shoving you towards the awaiting Hosea and Arthur.
You stumble, but do as you’re told. Arthur joins you as Hosea talks to Dutch, both waving the two of you off.
Arthur turns his horse towards the south road. “You can stay in my tent tonight.” He mutters. “‘Less you wanna have Dutch yelling all night.”
So you do. You lie down on your spare bedroll under the same tent as Arthur, who snores louder than a train, utterly and completely restless without Dutch holding you. All because you forgot you can’t be such an invert outside of camp. That’s what echoes in your head until you fall asleep late into the night.
The morning isn’t much better. Grimshaw comes by, kicks your leg to wake you up and shouts at Arthur as she rattles off chores for the day. You try to lose yourself in cutting wood that morning. Hosea’s usual Dutch Damage Control, patent pending, keeps the rest of the gang from asking questions. Even Uncle keeps away while you have an axe in hand, not daring to ask for money while you’re in this state.
It isn’t until your arms ache that someone finally stops you, a hand landing on your shoulder and squeezing. You freeze, knowing it’s Dutch from the familiar rough rings digging into your skin.
“You’re overdoing it.” He mutters.
“I’m fine.”
His hand squeezes harshly, enough to make you want to squirm but Dutch trained you out of that a long time ago. “Tent, boy. Now.”
When his hand leaves your shoulder, you drop the axe without another word. The walk to his tent is silent. The whole camp is on edge as Dutch drops the flaps of his tent. You wait in the middle of the wooden platform of a floor, knowing he’ll tell you where to sit. He does, gestures to the cot.
As you sit, he stares for a moment. His eyes look over you and he adjusts his rings before he speaks. “Hosea said I was too harsh with you.”
“It was fine.”
“Shirt.”
You look up at him for a moment before taking it off. His hand comes to your arm the second it’s gone, fingers brushing the bruises that formed from his grip.
“Just needed you to understand what’s at stake.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, darlin’.”
“You’ve done worse.”
“Only when asked.” Dutch shakes his head, moving his hand to tilt your head up. “I never get carried away like that. I… I was simply worried, my dear.”
“You don’t have to explain.” You turn your head away from his hand. “Just Hosea’s words anyway…”
“Stop that.” He snaps. “You’re my boy, aren’t you?”
You take a breath, staring off into nothing for a moment before nodding lightly.
“Then believe me when I say I’m sorry.” Dutch sighs as he sits beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you to lean against him. “If I’m gonna run cons in town, I need to seem respectable. That’s all.”
“I know.” You mutter.
“I’ll take you out this week, a dinner away from camp… nice hotel.” He chuckles. “But if anyone asks, you’re my nephew.”
“You don’t have to make it up to me, Dutch, just don’t go crazy like that…” You speak softly, leaning further into him until he puts his arms around you.
“Did I scare my boy?”
“Not that much of a pansy.” You mutter.
He sighs, running a hand through your hair. “I missed you last night.”
“Could take a nap.”
He hums, kissing the top of your head. “Wonderful idea, my boy.”
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urdreamydoodles · 2 days
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X-Men x Reader (Part.2)
Your partner having to pause and tend to you because you burnt your finger while cooking (Part.2)
X-Men characters dropping everything to care for you after you accidentally burn your finger while cooking.
Characters: Emma Frost, Mystique, Warren Worthington III, Bobby Drake, Laura Kinney, Kitty Pryde, Wanda Maximoff & Pietro Maximoff
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Emma Frost:
- Cooking is not exactly something Emma Frost does often. She prefers to indulge in fine dining and luxurious meals, but when she’s with you, she’s always willing to try something new. Tonight, you’ve convinced her to cook with you, and as you’re handling the pan, you accidentally burn your finger. The sharp hiss of pain escapes your lips, and before you can blink, Emma is right next to you, her ice-blue eyes narrowing in concern.
- “Darling, what have you done now?” she asks, her tone a mixture of exasperation and worry. Emma takes your hand delicately, inspecting the small burn with her usual no-nonsense demeanor. Though she may come off as cold to others, with you, her touch is gentle and caring. She doesn’t hesitate to use her telepathy to ease your pain, her powers making the sting fade almost instantly.
- “Honestly, Y/N, I leave you alone for a second, and this happens,” she says, though there’s a teasing smile on her lips. Emma is always in control, always poised, and she’s quick to remind you that you don’t have to suffer for the sake of a simple meal. “Next time, just let me order something, alright? You’re far too precious to be getting hurt over something as trivial as cooking.”
- With a wave of her hand, she mentally summons a first aid kit, expertly wrapping your burn with precision. Emma leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you close. “Now, let’s forget about this kitchen disaster, and I’ll spoil you with something better,” she suggests, her tone sultry and affectionate. She may be the Ice Queen to everyone else, but with you, Emma’s love is warm and undeniable.
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Mystique (Raven Darkhölme):
- Cooking with Mystique is always an unpredictable experience. She likes to change things up—sometimes literally transforming into someone else just to mess with you. Tonight, though, you’re trying to focus on making dinner, when a sudden burn on your finger causes you to drop the spatula with a small cry of pain. Raven, who had been lounging nearby in her usual laid-back manner, immediately perks up.
- “What did you do now?” she asks, already moving to your side. Her voice is teasing, but you can see the flicker of concern in her eyes as she takes your hand. Mystique is never one to fuss over injuries, but when it comes to you, she’s surprisingly tender. Her fingers, though calloused from years of fighting, are gentle as they inspect the burn.
- “You’ve got to be more careful, Y/N,” she chides, though her lips curl into a smirk. You can never tell if Mystique is more amused by your clumsiness or genuinely concerned, but either way, she tends to you with a practiced ease. She pulls a small ice pack from the freezer and presses it against your hand, her sharp yellow eyes watching your reaction closely.
- “I swear, if you keep hurting yourself like this, I’m going to start cooking in disguise so you won’t know it’s me,” she jokes, but there’s an underlying softness in her tone. Mystique is rarely vulnerable with anyone, but with you, she lets her guard down just enough to show how much she cares. She wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into her lap. “Now, let’s see if I can’t finish this up without you burning yourself again, huh?” she murmurs against your ear, a rare moment of playfulness between the two of you.
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Warren Worthington III (Angel):
- Warren always insists on helping you in the kitchen, his wings making it both a challenge and an endearing sight as he moves around. He loves spending quiet, domestic moments with you, and tonight, as you’re both cooking dinner, you accidentally brush your finger against a hot pan. The sudden sting makes you wince, and Warren’s wings twitch as he immediately senses something is wrong.
- “Y/N, are you alright?” he asks, already by your side, his feathers rustling in concern. His usually confident demeanor falters when he sees the burn on your finger, and he quickly takes your hand, his brow furrowed with worry. Warren may be an angel, but he’s fiercely protective when it comes to you, and seeing you hurt—even slightly—makes his heart race.
- “Let me take care of that,” he says, his voice soft as he guides you to the sink, running your hand under cool water. Warren’s touch is always so gentle, as if he’s afraid of hurting you, and he watches you closely to make sure you’re alright. “You should’ve let me handle that,” he adds with a small, concerned smile.
- Once your burn is taken care of, Warren wraps his arms around you, his wings folding protectively behind him as he pulls you close. “I don’t like seeing you hurt, even if it’s something small like this,” he murmurs into your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You can feel the warmth of his body, and the way his wings cocoon you makes you feel safe and loved. “Let me take care of dinner from here, alright? I’ll finish up while you relax.” Warren may be a powerful mutant, but with you, he’s always the doting partner, ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice.
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Bobby Drake (Iceman):
- Cooking with Bobby is always a fun, chaotic affair. He loves to joke around, often using his ice powers to cool things down when the heat in the kitchen gets too intense. Tonight, you’re both having a great time, laughing and talking, when you accidentally burn your finger on the stove. Bobby freezes mid-laugh when he hears you gasp in pain.
- “Whoa, whoa, what happened?” he asks, rushing over to you with a concerned look. His playful demeanor shifts immediately as he takes your hand, inspecting the burn with wide eyes. “Y/N, you gotta be careful!” he says, though there’s a hint of teasing in his voice as he gently encases your finger in a small layer of ice to numb the pain.
- Bobby has a way of lightening any situation, and even now, as he tends to your burn, he’s cracking jokes to make you smile. “See, this is why I’m here—to keep things cool,” he quips with a grin, though his concern is still evident in the way he carefully treats your injury. “Can’t have my favorite person getting hurt on my watch.”
- Once your burn is feeling better, Bobby wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a side hug. “Alright, I’ll take over from here,” he declares, using his powers to chill the stovetop for good measure. “How about you just sit there and look cute while I finish dinner? Deal?” He gives you a playful wink, and though he’s acting casual, you know Bobby would do anything to make sure you’re happy and taken care of. Even when things go wrong in the kitchen, Bobby is always there to bring a little bit of light—and a lot of ice—to the situation.
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Kitty Pryde:
- Cooking with Kitty is always an adventure, as her ability to phase through objects means you’ve both had some close calls with kitchen tools disappearing into countertops. Tonight, you’re making a simple dinner together when you accidentally touch the hot pan. The sharp pain makes you wince, and Kitty phases through the kitchen island to get to you in an instant.
- “Y/N, are you okay?” she asks, her big brown eyes wide with concern as she grabs your hand. She’s usually so playful, but the moment she sees the small burn on your finger, she goes into full-on worried mode. Kitty can sometimes be a bit of a worrier when it comes to you, and right now, you can see it in her expression.
- “Here, let me fix that,” she says, leading you over to the sink and running cool water over your burn. She’s gentle but quick, her fingers brushing against yours as she checks to make sure you’re okay. “You know, I can phase you through the stove next time,” she jokes with a soft smile, trying to lighten the mood.
- Once the burn is treated, Kitty pulls you in for a hug, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You gotta be more careful, alright?” she says softly, her arms wrapped around you. She holds you close for a moment longer before giving you a playful nudge. “Now sit down and relax. I’ll finish up dinner. I don’t trust you near any more hot surfaces,” she teases, her tone full of love.
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Wanda Maximoff:
- Wanda loves to cook with you, and her magic often makes things easier, but tonight, you insisted on doing it without her help. As you’re moving a pan, your finger brushes against the hot surface, and the sharp sting makes you flinch. Wanda, who had been setting the table, immediately rushes to your side, her eyes wide with concern.
- “Y/N, what happened?” she asks, her Sokovian accent slipping through as she takes your hand. Wanda is incredibly protective of you, and the sight of your burn makes her worry. “Let me help,” she says softly, her fingers glowing with a soft red hue as she uses her magic to ease the pain in your hand.
- Wanda’s magic flows gently through you, the warmth soothing the burn instantly. “You shouldn’t be hurting yourself over this,” she whispers, her voice full of concern as she looks into your eyes. There’s a deep tenderness in Wanda’s gaze, and you can tell she’s upset that you’ve gotten hurt, even if it’s just a small burn.
- She presses a kiss to your hand before wrapping her arms around you, pulling you into a protective embrace. “Next time, let me help. I don’t want to see you in pain,” she murmurs, her voice soft but firm. Wanda holds you close for a moment longer, her magic still gently swirling around you. “Let’s finish dinner together,” she says with a small smile, her love for you evident in every word.
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Pietro Maximoff:
- Cooking with Pietro is a whirlwind, literally. He’s always zipping around the kitchen, getting things done at super speed while making playful comments. Tonight, you’re trying to keep up with him, but in your haste, you accidentally burn your finger on the stove. Pietro is by your side in the blink of an eye, his usual playful grin replaced with concern.
- “Hey, what happened?” he asks, his voice fast as he gently takes your hand. Pietro may act like nothing bothers him, but when it comes to you, he’s always worried. The moment he sees the burn, he’s already rushing to grab an ice pack, returning before you can even blink.
- “You’ve got to be more careful, Y/N,” he says, though there’s a teasing edge to his voice as he holds the ice against your finger. Pietro always tries to lighten the mood, but you can see the worry in his blue eyes. “If you wanted to burn yourself, you should’ve asked me to do it. I’m faster,” he jokes, giving you a wink.
- Once the pain starts to fade, Pietro pulls you into his arms, wrapping you in a protective hug. “You’re not allowed to get hurt on my watch, alright?” he says, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Now, sit down, and I’ll finish dinner. Super speed, remember?” he adds with a smirk before zooming back to the kitchen. You laugh, knowing that even though Pietro loves to joke around, he’ll always drop everything to make sure you’re okay.
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X-23/Wolverine (Laura Kinney):
- Cooking with Laura is usually a quiet affair. She’s not one to talk much while she focuses, but she enjoys spending this time with you. Tonight, as you’re working together, you accidentally touch a hot pan, and the sharp pain causes you to yelp. Laura’s eyes snap to you in an instant, her protective instincts kicking in immediately.
- “Let me see,” she says, her voice calm but firm as she gently takes your hand in hers. Laura may be tough and guarded, but when it comes to you, she’s surprisingly tender. She inspects the burn with narrowed eyes, her brow furrowed in concern as she runs your finger under cold water.
- “You need to be more careful,” she mutters, though her tone isn’t angry—it’s worried. Laura has always been protective of you, and the thought of you getting hurt, even in a small way, makes her anxious. She grabs a bandage from the cabinet, carefully wrapping your finger with gentle precision, her touch soft despite her rough exterior.
- Once your burn is taken care of, Laura pulls you close, her arms wrapping around you in a rare display of affection. “I don’t like seeing you hurt,” she admits quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. She holds you for a moment longer before giving you a small smile. “Let me finish dinner. You’ve done enough for today,” she says, her tone soft but insistent. You know Laura isn’t one for words, but her actions speak volumes about how much she cares for you.
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ribbonmiku · 1 year
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never mind i’m gonna snap again. my coworker corrected me about something very very minor re: cleaning petwash that NO ONE has ever told me about in the 8 months i’ve worked here and then she expected me to go redo it while i was clocked out and on my way out the door. NO!!!!!!
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perilegs · 1 month
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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hella1975 · 3 months
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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whentherewerebicycles · 3 months
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I cannot survive this day lol
#it’s only noon and I need to go to bed immediately and start over#our one triumph today: at the dentist he had his first truly epic blowout - we’re talking poop all up his back inside his onesie#no changing table in the bathroom#and my mom had taken the car so no access to the more elaborate changing setup in the car#so I had to change him on the floor using the three remaining wipes in the pack#while he screamed like he was being tortured and kicked poop everywhere#but we did it we made it and then he chugged a bottle of milk like a soldier who’d just survived his first skirmish with the enemy#I have to take ruthie to the vet in a couple hours but she’s started acting fine today so I’m afraid I’ll be wasting a huge amount of money#meanwhile Pip has started vomiting everywhere#but I think he’s just stressed about baby/sudden change#naturally though I had to have a huge crying jag in the bathroom about the fact of his mortality#anyway friends I’m hanging in there#I need to just simplify simplify simplify#I will lie down for a bit now#then I will try to walk the dogs so it’s out of the way#need to leave by 2:30 to get Ruthie in#and I can listen to a hockey podcast and feel more human on the way#then once that’s done I can just do nothing tonight if I need to#my mom is leaving around 4 for the evening but#I’ve mixed the formula and cleaned all the bottles so I think I can just like#hopefully lie around with the baby#the other thing I need to do is write my mom a thank you letter before she leaves#I just haven’t had the energy but maybe I can ask her to take the baby for an hour tomorrow#and sit outside somewhere and work on it#postpartum tag#today has just been a higher difficulty level lol but I’ll have other kinds of days too#all will be well
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