#kaz Brekker fanfiction

[moonstruck-poet]

The Confrontation

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - three times where the Crows find you two in suspicious situations leading them to conspire and the fourth time when they learn the truth.

Warnings - Assault, Harrassment

1. Nina

"You ready?" Nina Zenik questioned, quickly giving the surroundings a scan before pinning her eyes on you. "The minute Kaz joins us, you have to leave".

You exhaled and nodded, trying your best not to wince at the obnoxiously tight corset and trying to breathe properly. "Was this the only available option?"

"Thr most suitable option," she corrected and smirked after looking at you.

"Stop checking me out when I'm literally struggling to breathe, Zenik. Remind me why is it not you instead of me? Saints know you're better at this," you grumbled and shivered as the cold hair brushed against your off shoulder gown.

"Because unfortunately I'm the Heartrender here, aren't I?" She grinned and you glared, understanding that this was quite amusing. "Ah! There's your ticket," she nodded towards Kaz who was stumbling his way towards you, slightly out of breath.

"Here it goes," you sighed, smoothing your outfit. Somehow this simply seemed a much difficult job that gutting someone in the right place. Using a knife was just easier.

Kaz, now much closer gave you a nod, his eyes glinting as he gripped his cane tightly and you understood. You merely smiled softly before shooting Nina a wink and entered the club, your eyes immediately narrowing down on the target.

Your brain was replaying all of the tricks that your dear friend had so graciously shown. You weren't dumb of course, you knew the basics but she had a degree in flirting.

And so you braced yourself and appeared in front of the man, trying to hide a cringe when his gaze instantly swept over your physique shamelessly. A small flame of anger burned internally and you would be sure to use your favorite dagger very soon.

Meanwhile Kaz and Nina were sneakily observing from the window while also keeping an eye on the environment.

"She seems to be getting the required information," Nina exclaimed but her smile soon fell upon seeing the scene. "Oh Saints no," she whispered and Kaz, who had his back to the window whipped around.

His dark, dangerous stare found you with ease and his body tensed at your uncomfortable face that you were trying so desperately to hide.

He saw the way that man pulled you closer with every passing second until you were pressed flat against him, his foul breath staining your bare shoulders as your body shook with contained fury.

His fingers skimmed your skin while his lips brushed against your cheek and all Kaz wanted to do in that moment was to stride inside and take you out of his grasp.

But he was still talking, his lips moved and so did yours. You were still trying to wrangle every little piece of information you could possibly get while also trying to keep yourself safe.

"Kaz," Nina said urgently upon seeing the malicious smile on the stranger's face. "That's enough she needs to come out".

"I can't do anything," he said bitterly. "It'll just give out our position and put everybody in danger and I cannot have that," he finished, hating every part of himself.

"I like you, sweetheart," your target whispered, his face inches away. His breath fanning you, reeking of alcohol. "I wish to see you again. Please?" He asked, his voice manipulative and he dragged his lips from your shoulder to your neck.

"Of course," you murmured back, your tone deadly which he didn't seem to notice. "You'll see me soon. Very soon indeed".

"Perfect," he grinned against your cheek before kissing the skin and you stepped back with a smile, not breaking eye contact until you exited the door.

And immediately your flirty facade shattered and your were consumed by a dark energy as you rounded the corner, your pace increasing with every step.

"Oh Saints," Nina said as soon as you reached the meeting spot. "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am," you teased, a wicked smile but Kaz wasn't fooled, not at all.

He looked at you, trying to pick up every noticeable change and he sae many. The twitch of your eyebrow, the small frown appearing on your lips which was quickly replaced with a grin and the slight shudder of your shoulders.

He didn't think of anything at all as he removed his coat. "Here," he offered, his dark brown eyes burning into yours.

"It's okay, Kaz, I'm alright-"

"-Take it," he said firmly and when you didn't move, he put it over your shoulders and you almost sighed at the warmth. His touch was so gentle, so secure, a constrast to the emotions plaguing you moments before. "Are you okay?" He asked again.

"I want to go home," was all you could reply as you looked longingly at him, hoping that your eyes were enough to convey all of your feelings. "Please".

Kaz nodded, looking down as pain struck his chest. He could handle numerous difficult situations, but when it concerned you, he was always vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, his voice barely heard as he scanned your face, having an intense urge to place his palm on your cheek but the mere thought made him flinch. However he remained rooted to the spot, not backing away because he knew that you needed him at the present, and he wasn't leaving you.

Someone cleared her throat and that was what made him pull away.

"Extremely sorry but we have to move," she said softly and he nodded, his jaw clenching as he gave you one last, tender look before walking away.

The two of you followed and you clutched the coat around you tightly, a small smile threatening to break out on your face as you replayed the interaction with your dearest.

Meanwhile the Grisha was observing her friends quite eagerly, her eyes switching from one to the other. She had her suspicions from the minute she saw Kaz's panic-stricken face, and then the said person lending his coat confirmed it.

She saw his face contorting in sadness upon seeing your highly uneasy figure back at the club, saw the way his fingers fidgeted constantly because he felt helpless. In conclusion, she saw him lose control.

Kaz Brekker never lost control.

She should feel guilty for using her abilities on her boss, but how could she not? When a particular heart was thudding unbelievably as soon as his eyes fell onto someone else's. The beating had only seemed to intensify when he had put his coat around your shoulders.

The trip to the Crow Club was spent in silence. Everyone's mind being occupied by very different thoughts.

"There you are!" Jesper's cheery voice snapped them from their daydream. He slowly jogged over to you, excitement evident on his features. "Want to play a round of cards?"

All you gave him was a small, forced smile. He just looked so happy and you didn't want to be that person, "Let's go then".

"You don't have to," Kaz suddenly spoke making everyone stare in surprise.

"It's fine," you replied but he still gave you that look. The one where his eyes were just a tiny bit wide, eyebrows slightly raised to wordlessly ask if you were sure.

You nodded offering him a twitch of your lips before joining Jesper, Wylan and Inej at the table, helping yourself to some bread.

Nina had of course watched this soundless interaction quite seriously, and now she had some very interesting points that would definitely be shared with the other Crows; minus you two obviously.

"Now this seems fun," she said to herself, smirking at the way Dirtyhands had his eyes glued to you the entire time.

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2. Wylan & Matthias

Having a lazy day at the barrel was something that happened once in a blue moon, because Mr Brekker made sure to always keep everyone on their toes. Today was one of those rarest days that the Crows actually had no job and so naturally they were lazing around in the club.

Jesper and Nina were gossiping, holding a small muffin in their hands as they whispered amongst themselves, probably sharing the headlines of all that had happened in the Barrel.

"You're sure? Our Kaz? Kaz Brekker losing control like that?" Jesper asked, double checking to make sure they were talking about the same person.

"Yes Jesper!" Nina sighed. "His heartbeat seemed to skyrocket the minute his eyes fell on her. I wss actually worried that he might have a cardiac arrest or something.

"Djel help me," Matthias muttered. "She's too good for him to ever say yes".

"Oh come on," Nina insisted, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "They're made for each other!"

"I don't know about that but they do make quite a pair," Inej added, her face screwed up in concentration.

"There's definitely something going on," Wylan whispered, putting on his scheming face as he analysed his thoughts.

Meanwhile Nina was now feeding another round of conversation to her gossip partner who was enjoying it very much indeed.

"No way he went over to the Dime Lions!" Jesper exclaimed mid-bite, his mouth opening as he registered the statement.

"He did indeed Jes," you walked down the stairs interrupting their conversation. "Rumour had it that he was paid handsomely as well".

"Of course he was," the gunslinger snorted before shaking his head.

"Where were you?" Nina asked, her eyebrow raised in question and all four heads turned to hear your answer.

"Kaz's office," you said and sat down on one of the couch, not noticing the small smirks painted on everybody's faces.

"What's he doing in there anyway?" Inej asked, having sharpened her knives and taking yours making you shoot her a highly grateful look.

But before you could reply, the said person called from from above, "Love! Have you seen that Kerch document that I had shown you? Where did you keep it?"

Silence. Complete and utter silence followed his statement as the Crows glanced at each other, their expressions the epitome of flabbergasted.

"Check in your bottom right drawer!" You shouted unaware, standing right below the floor so your voice could be heard better. "I've kept it along with other related files".

The minute you went back to your previous seat, you felt eyes staring at every inch of your face making you suddenly look up. "What the hell?" You asked, being startled at seeing every gaze pinned towards you.

"Did he just-" Jesper began but Wylan elbowed him harshly.

"Nothing," he answered sweetly, ignoring the sharp glare thrown his way. "How about we go visit the marketplace? You said you'd show me some firing powders".

"Yeah let's go," you nodded, putting your gun in the holster and donning a black leather jacket over your shirt. "Anybody need anything? I'm not going to get you fruit loops, Jesper," you narrowed your eyes before the boy could even utter a word.

"But you told me that-"

"But you also happened to have eaten three packets yesterday. So no. Absolutely not".

Inej and Nina snickered at the banter which was surely an everyday occurence. Jesper always being the hopeless little kid and you unintentionally acting like his older sister.

The said boy was looking at you with wide eyes and a small pout and you groaned in exasperation. "Fine! I'll get you some stop looking at me like that!"

"I love you so much," he grinned and shot a wink your way.

"Whom do you love?" Kaz Brekker asked, walking down the stairs and towards him with a raised eyebrow. Everybody fell silent at his impeccable timing to arive during the most unwelcoming moments.

"Her of course!" Nina butted in, pointing towards you before Jesper could reply and Matthiss noticed the way the Demjin's face contorted and tightened.

Kaz shot the Zemeni a small glare, not knowing himself that he was actually doing it before turning to look at you and all of the other crows saw the way his gaze softened considerably.

"Should we leave then?" Wylan broke the silence and tugged at your sleeve and your attention snapped to him.

"Yes yes let's leave," you followed him, almost at the door when Kaz called your name and you halted. "What's wrong? You need anything?" You questioned softly as he walked closer.

"You forgot this," he merely said and handed you a necklace that you had forgotten on his desk. It was only Wylan who actually saw the pendant and his mouth hung open.

You took it from his hands, fingers gently brushing against his gloved ones and he instantly felt a small amount of warmth seep into his very soul.

You lit a spark with only your touch.

You ignited him.

"Thank you," you smiled and quickly clasped it around your neck, tucking it inside your shirt so it would be hidden from privy eyes. "See you later, yeah?"

He nodded, hands tightening on his cane as he watched you leave. He never got round to telling you that he had wanted to spend this day with you and you only. But unfortunately you had plans and so he remained silent. Not wanting to be a hindrance.

He couldn't even remember the last time he had spent some quality time with you. Being too busy finding new deals and searching for missions that he couldn't properly acknowledge the best thing in his life.

When did he last take you out somewhere except for sneaking around to gather valuable information? You loved having hot chocolate late at night, when had he ever bought it for you despite knowing that the drink was your favorite?

You deserved so much better, his mind kept telling him. He couldn't even bring himself to give you the comforting touches that he knew you longed for. You never said a word but he saw it in your eyes. Whenever a plan had gone too complicated and particularly difficult, all you needed was a good embrace. But he could only ever bring himself to hold your hand. Nothing more.

And he hated himself for it. Despised every inch of his self because of his inability to provide for you. It killed him inside.

You were lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. And he was twisted, crooked, wrong but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for you.

He was so lost in his thoughts that his sharp instincts failed to notice the stares that were currently burning holes in his face. "What?" He snapped and was on his way back to his bedroom when they stopped him.

"Goodness Kaz you actually look sad," Nina concluded, fighting the smirk that was quick to spread on her face.

"I have no reason to be upset," he rolled his eyes and started climbing the stairs slowly, his leg throbbing with slight pain.

"Wylan's right," Matthias said lowly. "The demjin is infatuated".

Wylan on the other hand was busy geeking over the chemicals that were presented in front of him. "How did I never know about this!" He said in delight and you chucklef at the way his eyes lighted up. "These are so much cheaper too".

"Get whatever you want," you squeezed his shoulder and he nearly jumped in excitement. "I'll just quickly go and get something from that shop, yeah?"

He nodded and you crossed the street to enter the clothing shop, smiling to yourself upon seeing beautiful coats lining the walls.

"Can I see some black shirts and vests, please?" You requested the man who nodded and placed numerous boxes on the table. "I'll take these three," you smiled, selecting two dark grey shirts and a gorgeous black vest that you knew would suit your man well.

"Oh hey! Didn't see you coming in".

Wylan simply laughed and examined the clothes that were being folded neatly and transferred in a bag. "For you?"

"Oh no," you shook your head and paid the kruge, it was a little expensive but it's fine. You could give him a gift every now and then. "It's for Kaz".

His eyes widened in surprise just a tiny bit and his lips stretched wide as the two of you exited the store. But then he suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you towards an artefacts shop.

"How would this look on Jesper?" He said and pointed at a hat which was exactly what the gunslinger preferred.

"Absolutely perfect".

"Hey take a look at this," he directed your attention towards a few bracelets kept neatly in a box, making sure to keep his trained on you to pick up on every little change.

Your hand instinctively flew towards a handmade one woven with black thread. It was quite simple but had an intricate design. You loved it immediately and wasted no time in purchasing the little present.

"Let's go?" You asked, almost forgetting for a moment that you weren't alone. While the boy had his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face as he followed your lead. Having an intense conversation with himself in his head.

It was almost night when you entered the Slat again and two of the Crows were lounging in the basement itself with the exception of Inej and Nina.

"I'll be back in a few," you whispered to Matthias who nodded and you climbed up thr stairs, eagerly wanting to give Kaz the gifts you had brought.

He waited until the sound of a door closing was heard before looking at Wylan who had a cheeky grin on his face.

===============================

3. Inej & Jesper

"Look at his hand!" Matthias whispered under his breath and nudged Wylan whose eyes shot towards Kaz Brekker. And indeed, a black bracelet was clasped onto his left wrist. Not that noticeable but nowadays nothing could ever escape their sharp stare.

"I've never ever seen him wear anything synonymous to jewellery," Matthias muttered and passed the message to Nina who perked up with a bright grin, as though struck by an inspiration.

"Watch me," was all she said and the the two boys glanced ahead in apprehension as she neared your location and bumped into you quite harshly.

"Saints!" A small shout escaped your lips as you were thrown backwards onto Kaz who was right behind you.

"Goodness I'm so sorry," Nina immediately apologised, not being sorry in the least as she rather scanned the couple's reaction.

Your back was pressed against Kaz's chest while his gloved hand, the one wearing a bracelet was wrapped securely around your waist, holding you against him. You placed your palm on top of his in reassurance, and your heart started taking up its pace.

"You okay?" He murmured in your ear and helped you stand up straight as you nodded; and he shot a deathly glare towards the heartrender, who gave a grin and sashayed her way back to the boys.

"I'm fine, thank you for that," you whispered before returning to the documents that were scattered on the table.

"You saw that?" She joined the duo with an excited expression, her hands flapping in front of her. "He didn't even flinch at her touch! It was almost like-"

"Like he's used to it!" Wylan completed her sentence and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Usually he'll push the person off for even invading his personal space, much less someone actually falling on him," Matthias added and she agreed.

"Ghezen this is going much better than I expected. Fifty kruge that they're already together since the past few months".

"Oh yeah?" Jesper interrupted the conversation with the biggest smirk on his face as he sat down, joined by Inej who was shaking her head with a smile. "Hundred kruge says that they've been married already".

"You do know that you're horrible at betting, don't you?" Matthias asked, raising an eyebrow at the large sum.

"But I think Jes is right on this one," Inej supported him making the said person's grin widen if that was even possible.

"What's making you so sure?" Wylan asked, quite suspiciously.

"Let me ah- tell you a little something I saw," his brown eyes glinted as he recounted the miracle that he and Inej had seen.

Jesper was walking on his usual route that led him back to the Crow Club with the Wraith beside him. They had both finished their parts of the job and had met on their way home.

"You got some intel?" He asked, his eyes scanning the various treats that were covering the shelves of stalls.

"Nothing," she answered with a sigh. "It is the same. He comes in everyday sharp at 7 in the morning and leaves exactly at 5. There has been no change at all".

"I think I'm going insane," he suddenly whispered and stopped dead in his tracks making Inej tense up immediately as she looked around for any threat.

"What's wrong?"

"That- That's Kaz isn't it?" He questioned, unable to believe the words that were on their way through his mouth. "In a- a goddamn flower shop?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed lightly but her she too froze upon seeing a familiar figure standing merely a few metres away. "Saints that is Kaz!"

"Let's go," he nudged her and she hesitated, not really wanting to pry but curiosity certainly gets the better of everyone. They walked closer silently, hiding behind another store which gave them the perfect view.

And there he was, the bastard of the barrel holding a beautiful, red rose in his bare fingers. Yes, he did not have his gloves on. Something that was noticed by the two.

They saw as he paid the small amount of money and began trodding down the road, his cane held tightly in one hand and the rose was held in the other that was hidden behind his back.

"Breadcrumbs," Jesper smirked at her and she let out a laugh as the two followed their leader, becoming increasingly suspicious. They didn't have to wait for long as the person that they had expected arrived soon enough making the two Crows grin.

"Nina was right after all," Inej muttered as she watched you waving at Kaz to gain his attention and the spying people stepped closer, wanting to hear the conversation that would surely grant them something.

"Hey," they heard you whisper, sounding slightly breathless.

"Hi," Kaz replied and took a tiny step closer so that his shoes were touching yours making you bite your lip. "This is for you," he added and presented the rose, his eyes hungrily scanning yours for every little change that he itched to see.

And you rewarded him with the grin that he oh so loved. When your mouth fell open slightly in surprise before morphing slowly into a gorgeous and breathtaking smile.

"For me?" You asked despite yourself, gently taking the flower from his hand and twirling it in your fingers. "Are you sure?"

A small frown marked his face, "Of course I am. Why do you ask such a thing?"

"Is it not for someone else? Maybe a pretty girl that you're thinking of wooing to help you get whatever information that you need," you teased, your lips pressed together.

"Darling," was all he said. His voice low, deep as he stared intently into your eyes, tilting his head to look even deeper. "There is no one like you," he finished and let a small smile form on his hardened face.

Jesper who had been listening with every ounce of concentration had to slap his palm over his mouth to prevent a squeal from escaping his feeble clutches. It was only for Inej roughly smacking his arm and dragging him away that he managed to not give away their position.

"Hence proved," he concluded his story with his arms extended to the present crowd who were utterly and completely shocked.

"No way that actually happened," Matthias grumbled, muttering to himself while Nina looked like she'd just received all of the available waffles for free.

"I'm a genius," she laughed heartily and chugged down a shot of whiskey in celebration of her matchmaking skills.

"I'm so going to win that bet, Zenik".

"Don't count your pigeons before they're killed, Fahey. We can't be so sure that they're actually married".

"We have to ask them!" Wylan urged, sitting up straight and looking at them for their opinions.

"We will," Nina nodded firmly while the rest appeared unconvinced. "Tomorrow".

"Let's hope that we're not murdered in our beds later that night then," Jesper sighed but he too couldn't contain his excitement.

===============================

4. The Confrontation

"Kaz," Nina said in delight as soon as the man climbed down the last step.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day when you're actually looking happy to see me," he retorted making her roll her eyes.

"We need to talk," Jesper elaborated making him raise an eyebrow as he took in all of his Crows minus you and Inej sitting with their arms crossed and heads held high.

"Does it concern me?"

"Of course it does that's why we're asking!"

"Saints give me the strength," he muttered under his breath before looking at the lot. "Go on then I don't have all day".

That's when Inej entered the scene, dragging you along with her and making you stand next to Kaz. "What's going on?" You questioned, heavily confused and looking around for an answer.

"We need to ask you something," Wylan answered your request.

"I gathered just as much".

"Are you going to ask or not?" Kaz growled in annoyance, his patience running thin.

"We just wanted to know-"

"I've been wanting to ask-"

"We had a feeling that-"

They all began together but not one could complete their sentence until Jesper was the one to blurt it out.

"You're married?"

Kaz and you stood still, dumbstruck before visibly relaxing and you chuckled, "That was quicker than I expected".

"I don't think four years is quick, love," Kaz responded, his lips stretching just the slightest making the crowd explode.

"FOUR YEARS?!"

"YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED!"

"WHEN DID YOU EVEN START DATING?!"

"HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO PULL HER OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE??"

"Ask him about it," was all you said and sat down on a chair with a very obvious smile adorning your pleased face. Everybody fell silent at once and you knew you had said the right thing. Nobody sensible would ever dare to question Kaz.

Jesper glanced nervously at him, "Can I atleast see your ring? Just to you know, have some confirmation?"

You laughed and pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, revealing a thin but elegant silver band encrusted with a small diamond at its center.

"K- Kaz?" Wylan asked, or rather pleaded.

To their surprise, he took off the glove of his right hand to reveal a similar ring resting beautifully against his pale fingers.

"Saints I win!" Jesper said in disbelief and stood up straight, slowly turning his head to look at Nina. "GIVE ME MY KRUGE!" And all watched as the girl slowly backed away, probably hatching an escape plan and ran swiftly with him hot on her heels.

"That was something huh?" You grinned and looked at your husband, slowly leaning over to intertwine your fingers with his.

"Quite," he huffed lightly but couldn't stay annoyed for long and alas, he too smiled. Not a particularly big one, rather a small, gentle twitch of his lips. One that was only ever displayed for you.

His eyes held the entire universe as he admired you from the side, looking at you as if you had hung those few stars that formed his constellation.

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Taglist :-

@phoenix666stuff

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[Four Crow Investigation]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi

SUMMARY: Nina and the rest of "crow-vestigators" are not as inconspicuous as they think. Being a little too spiteful for your own good, Kaz and you string them along. What the amateur detectives consider "evidence" of an affair is actually a well-thought-out scenario.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

You stare with amusement as Wylan, Jesper, Inej and Nina are sitting around the table in a hardly inconspicuous manner. They’re leaning so close to each other, their bodies are covering their faces but you don’t need to read their lips or expressions to know exactly what they’re talking about. Meaningful glances, small nudges, animated whispering - none of that escaped your attention.

Then, you feel Kaz squeezing your hand in an attempt to shift your focus from the gossiping friends back to him. His eyebrows are slightly raised in a silent question.

"Do you think they know that we know that they know?" you ask, cringing at the word salad filled with repetitions.

"No," Kaz answers without hesitation. "Considering how long it took them to notice something so obvious, their observation skills are more underwhelming than I had originally thought."

The two of you glance towards your friends once more, left to only guess what tall tales they were making up. Observation skills, Kaz’s voice resounds in your head. Yes, they are good at noticing things they are desperately looking for, so, maybe, if they are looking for crumbs…

"Actually, I have an idea,” you begin in a hushed tone.  Kaz turns to look at you, his expression hardens the moment he notices your mischievous grin. ���Up for a bit of roleplay?"

It’s been a wild week for the four Crows. They sat down at a corner table, across the club from you and Kaz talking about something by the bar counter. Absorbed by the conversation, you’re pouring a drink in a record-long time. Your hand hovers above the rum bottle as you’re closely listening to Kaz saying something. Then, to the surprise of the gossip club, you erupt in laughter.

Jesper frowns. “I’m telling you, there’s two of them. She gets the nice Kaz, we get the mean one.”

“No, the mean Kaz is still inside,” Inej refutes. “The nice one is making an effort to bury him but he’s definitely in there. Saw it myself.”

He turns back towards the group. Jesper puts his finger up in a warning gesture and speaks slowly: “Do not tell me Kaz Brekker is a knight in shining armour because there is no way I’m treating that as anything but a bad joke. I’m barely believing the stuff I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”

“N-no, there is some truth to that,” Wylan interjects. “I didn’t see him get angry,” he quickly adds, ”just… strangely protective.”

“So we can agree,” Nina says with expected giddiness, “there is passion in the perpetually grim Kaz Brekker.”

Jesper squints his eyes with suspicion. “I hate the fact that you used passion and Kaz in the same sentence but at the same time I’m curious why.”

“Oh, you’re going to love it!” She taps the table excitedly. “I’ll go first.”

╚ Nina’s Evidence ╝

You’re pacing around the office, jumping from one leg to another, shaking and fidgeting as much as you can without making much noise. While preparing to fool the Heartrender’s power, you’re ensuring that you look the part:

“Is this obscene enough?” you ask unbuttoning your shirt further. Tugging at your clothing, you’re making yourself look even more disheveled. Even the smallest sound outside the office door makes you jump as you’re impatiently waiting for a certain creek of one of the steps.

Kaz doesn’t answer. His watchful eyes are following your movements as he’s focusing on keeping his attention on the task at hand. That bright mind of his, however, fights relentlessly to memorize your unkempt look instead.

Not hearing him respond to your question, you turn around to look at Kaz. Leaning against the desk, he’s just staring at you with a quite inexplicable intensity. His unspoken passion is only making the voice in the back of your head louder: what if it was Him undoing my shirt?

But you stifle this thought. It’s not the time for this. Searching for distraction, you look at Kaz’s collar - the first two buttons are undone but they make him appear more sleepy rather than caught red handed at a moment of weakness.

“May I?” you ask, gesturing towards his garment.

“Go ahead,” he quietly answers. There’s a lot of trust in his lack of movement and calmness about your closeness.

Carefully, you grab the hem of his collar and open his shirt further, while making sure your fingers do not even graze the bare skin underneath, despite the urge sitting deep inside your abdomen. Then, you take a step back, examining his general state and whether it sets a believable scene. A proud smile creeps onto your face.

“You’re really enjoying this,” Kaz states.

“Actually,” you say as you lean against the table, fairly unaware that because of your disheveled clothing your cleavage is significantly more visible, “I’d be enjoying this little scheme a lot more if we were in fact being scandalous.”

Whether that was your objective or not, Kaz’s heartbeat picks up noticeably, his rogue mind flashing explicit images before his eyes.

A creek of stairs.

You and Kaz give each other a meaningful glance and you push the paperweight off the desk, knowing that Nina can hear it. The door swings open and you’re immediately in character, looking away with the most embarrassed expression you could muster.

Kaz clears his throat. “Is there a reason why you’re barging in?”

Nina looks a bit lost, still piecing together what she might have just interrupted. “I… uhm… I talked with Lizzie Hardy. She’s in, we can count on her.”

“Understood,” he says in a low, firm voice. “Now go. And learn to knock.”

A half-grin enters her face as she gets rid of any doubts as to what the two of you had been presumably occupied with before she entered. With a skip to her step, Nina throws a “You bet I will!” before leaving the office. She’s quite sure no one will have a better gossip than her.

╚ Wylan’s Evidence ╝

Wylan is startled by your yelp of pain, almost dropping the delicate vial in his hands. His focus immediately shifts to you, who is now frowning with your hand raised slightly above your head. A string of curses leaves your mouth as you check the wound again - yes, still there and still bleeding.

Right, bleeding.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a worried tone. Part of you feels guilty for fooling Wylan because of the sheepiness he wears most of the time but, on the other hand, he is part of the gossip girl club. This little scheme is just a consequence of his choice.

“Yeah, no problem. I’m a big girl, I’ll just wrap this and I’ll be fine,” you answer casually.

Pretending to look for something that can work as a bandage, you’re praying that Wylan can’t smell the cranberry preserve slowly dripping down your forearm. There’s an urge deep inside you to lick the jam, almost tasting the sweet and sour fruit in your imagination.

Kaz, who was waiting for the well-played-out yelp, rushes into the room with a grim expression. The moment he’s supposed to notice your injury, he makes a show of dropping his shoulders. He’s not saying anything, only giving short sighs and annoyed grunts as he reaches for a random rag laying around. 

“I’d advise against cutting off your fingers,” he says loud enough for Wylan to hear as he’s tightening the wrapped rag around your palm. "You need to be more ca-" Kaz cuts himself off, suddenly realizing he was about to use an off-limits word. "You need to pay attention to what you're doing."

Looking over Kaz’s shoulder, you see Wylan nervously glancing at the two of you out of the corner of his eyes. Jesper is going to hear world-shattering news in the next hour - on that you can safely bet any number of limbs.

╚ Jesper’s Evidence ╝

Too busy retelling what he had learned while following Lizzie Hardy, Jesper doesn’t notice the tiny signal you give Kaz while the three of you are walking through the streets of Ketterdam.

Air, cobblestone, a lost dog - it doesn’t matter. You stumble over something but ever watchful Kaz manages to grab you by the waist, preventing you from falling. To be honest, until this moment you weren’t completely sure this is going to work out because you never practiced this with Kaz. Well, you did, once, but the two of you got significantly distracted early on. So the plan to outfox Nosy Jesper was a leap of faith - literally and figuratively.

Jesper, the man in question, halted his story as he’s watching the unbelievable occurrence of Kaz having a caring reflex. For a moment he considers whether this wasn’t some kind of miraculous coincidence but on the other hand, the movement looked so natural and purposeful that it simply had to be deliberate.

Standing on your own, you look towards Jesper, who’s still staring at you and Kaz with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly agape. “You were saying?” you coax him to continue as though nothing happened.

“Yes, right, the thing,” he stutters out as he’s trying to remember what he was talking about before seeing something so strange he’s questioning his own sanity.

╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝

Due to the late hour, or rather an hour so late it can be considered early, the club is deserted except for you and Kaz sitting by the bar. He’s silently watching your profile as you’re applying another layer of theatrical paint and makeup.

“Does it look realistic?” you ask for the hundredth time while examining the bruise in a small hand-held mirror.

“It’s good enough.”

You set down the mirror and look at him. To a degree, you know he won’t agree to your proposition but you try anyway, just to make sure:

“Maybe you could hit me?” you suggest. His expression grows colder. “Just for good measure. To really sell this,” you add in your own defense, as though there is a possibility of him retaliating for such a ridiculous proposition. Even when furious beyond imagination, you’ve heard him yell exactly once out of anger.

He leans closer towards you. Paradoxically, it’s you who is uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy but maybe the uneasiness is not due to the proximity but the chilling tension that has sprouted between the two of you. Kaz studies your expression for a moment, his jaw relaxes and clenches over and over again as he’s clearly pondering the earthiest way he can put his thoughts into words.

“I will never raise my hand against you,” his voice is quiet and wavering with emotions, “even if my life depends on it. So don’t ask again. Ever.”

Suddenly, you feel strangely small next to him as though Kaz is but a shadow that quickly grows larger as candlelight dims. “Right, sorry,” you answer awkwardly.

The door to the club opens with a creek and the nervous conversation has to be cut short. You cover your face with hands, having rubbed some chili seeds into your palms earlier. As the capsaicin reaches your nostrils and eyes, forcing yourself to cry is easier than ever. Pretending to be agonizing over something, you keep reminding yourself not to actually touch your eyes or nose.

You can’t see her face but you’re sure Inej is wearing a worried or confused expression and you’re quite correct in your guess - she walks towards you and Kaz with apprehension as though she’s still wondering whether she wants to intrude. Inej momentarily grows anxious, noticing the vibrant bruise on the side of your face.

Then, in a truly dramatic fashion, Kaz gets up from the bar stool and storms out of the club as you had agreed beforehand. While he’s passing Inej, she calls out to him:

“Kaz-”

But he’s quick to cut her off in a harsh voice:

“Not now, Inej.”

The door closes behind him with a slam and considering the state of the two of you, she prefers not to ask questions. It will be easier to sleep at night.

“They’re staring,” you inform Kaz while pouring him a drink.

“As far as I know, they have a reason to,” he answers, taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes are boring into you like his trying to look past your skin and bones, into your mind if not your very soul.

A wide smile brightens your face. You lean on the counter, face close to Kaz’s. Although it’s been some time, it still makes your heart flutter that he doesn’t move away. Perhaps it’s just his unreadable expression or maybe he really is unbothered by the proximity.

“To be honest, I enjoyed our little theatrics.” Smiling at him, your teeth glisten in the dim light inside the club.

“You make an impressive con artist, I have to admit.”

“Ah, forget the con part,” you wave your hand in dismissal. “It was entertaining, alright, but the best part was just spending time with you.”

Kaz almost chokes on his drink.

____ @moonstruckpoet @shara-ne @queenkalico

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Passing The Baton (Six of Crows One-Shot)

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: To your knowledge, your crush on Kaz is unrequited. Apparently this is not the case.

CW: Kaz is dumb but we love him

SAB/SOC Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Kaz ‘Dirtyhands’ Brekker. Bastard of The Barrel. Also- your unrequited love. Kaz had caught your eye just as he had caught everyone else’s. Everyone knew not to mess with the Dregs, and that was thanks to Kaz. Before he’d risen through the ranks of the club, the Dregs had been no one. Quite literally the dregs of society- and while, yes, that was where the name came from, it was quite the rise to fame as the Dregs started getting more and more popular, and more and more dangerous.

Even the Crow Club was starting to become a real pain in the other clubs’ asses. 

But Kaz? He’d fascinated you well before any of this. You’d been working at the Crow Club as a serving girl since before Kaz arrived. Not long, mind, but long enough before that you got to experience both sides of the Dregs’ fortune. 

Kaz hadn’t seemed to take much notice of you at first- and why would he? Weren’t you just another serving girl being groped by the drunk patrons? Anything to make a few Kruge. But he did take notice when you threatened to cut the balls off a patron when said patron got a little too handsy one day.

He’d taken you back into his office and thwacked his cane on the table hard enough to scratch the varnish and told you rather harshly to never do that again. To come to him next time there was an issue like that and he’d deal with it… discretely. 

What that had meant was clear only to Kaz, and that was fine by you. But that was when your little crush had really taken off. What could you say? You liked a bad boy. Someone who could handle his own and Kaz could definitely handle his own. Cane or no. 

Despite telling you off, Kaz had clearly taken note that you weren’t afraid to get your hands a little dirty either, something he had an appreciation and mutual respect for. And so you went from lowly serving girl to, well, still a serving girl, but a serving girl who also took jobs for Dirtyhands and worked with him to secure patronage for the club, and Kruge for his and your own pockets. And for Per Haskell’s pockets as well, you supposed. Lazy bastard. 

But you longed for more.

 

You longed for Kaz’s touch, for his lips on your skin. You longed for his affections as much as you longed for his approval. It was a dangerous combination.

As far as you could tell, he did not feel the same way. But then again, would you have ever known otherwise? Kaz kept his cards close to his chest- as he should. 

Today seemed different though. You’d barely made it back from a job and Kaz seemed… angry, to put it lightly. You had no idea why, though, considering you got what he wanted, and made it out alive, too. Win-win. 

Inej may have had to save you, but that was beside the point. 

“You need to be careful,” he said, mouth pursed angrily. “You can’t be making reckless choices and silly mistakes. This is The Barrel. I can’t afford mistakes.” 

You met his harsh gaze head-on and shoved the ledger he’d asked for into his chest with vigour. Kaz didn’t even break the gaze between you, just reached with one gloved hand to take the ledger off you. 

“I got what you wanted, didn’t I?” 

A muscle in Kaz’s jaw twinged. 

“That is not the point.” 

You let out an exasperated scoff, removing your hand from his chest with another soft shove. Surprisingly, Kaz lets the action move him. 

“Then what is the point?” You ask, frustration evident in your features. 

“The point is- oh, for Saints’ sake,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We could have lost you. I could have lost you.” 

Your eyebrows practically disappeared into your hairline. 

“You could have lost me…” you trail off, echoing his words, feeling them out for hidden meanings. 

“You’re a good investment. I don’t like to lose investments.” 

Oh. Okay. An investment. You should have known that that was all you were to him. That’s all you were ever going to be to Kaz no matter how much you wished differently. Ridiculous. 

“Of course,” you reply, turning to walk away. “Your investment needs a dri-hey!” 

Kaz’s gloved hand snatches at your forearm and yanks you back towards him. You re-balance yourself and glare at him, looking between the tight grip he has on your arm and his heated glare. 

“Stop,” he says before forcing his features to soften. “I’m not one for feelings.” He practically shudders through the word. “You’re more than that. An investment, I mean.” 

You stay quiet, not giving him anything to work with here, but you’re surprised he can’t hear the uptick in your heartbeat. 

“Look,” his grip loosens. “I don’t want to lose you. Purely selfish reasons. Not because you’re an investment, but-” Kaz clears his throat and avoids eye contact. “I care for your wellbeing.” 

It’s not an outright declaration of love, but it’s about as close to it as someone like Kaz would give. He’d bared his soul to you here. All the fractured, broken pieces of it. He’d bared his heart for you to treasure or smash into bitty little pieces. 

You sucked in a breath. 

“Are you saying you have feelings for me?” 

Kaz grunts and lets go of your arm. You brush your fingers over where he’d just touched you. 

“I suppose so, yes,” he said, eyes flitting to the door like he was thinking about making a run for it. 

“Don’t suppose it would interest you to know I felt the same way, would it?” 

And there it was. Passing the baton back to Kaz. Passing your heart in return for his. Now it was he who held the power to treasure or smash you into pieces. 

Kaz finally met your gaze, and his lips ticked up into a small smirk.

“Oh, I knew that.”

[redamancyys]

All Around Me - Kaz Brekker

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, oral (fem recieving), cursing, unedited.

WORDS ◆ 3.7k

REQUEST(S) ◆ based off of this request, though i did stray a little. basically kaz and the reader have sex for the first time!

AUTHOR'S NOTE ◆ sooooo this ended up being a lot steamy-er than i intended, but i hope that you enjoy it, because i definitely liked writing this one!

To say that the desire was eating you both up from the inside was an understatement. 

Kaz had never wanted a person the way that he wanted you. It was a raw, carnal desire that came from deep within him. He had never been a person who ached for touch until he met you, he wished that he was able to be the man that could grab you by your hips without spiraling into a panic, or could kiss you for as long as you wanted without having to take a break because his internal thoughts were becoming too much to handle. 

You would always explain to him that it wasn’t his fault. 

Hushed whispers, your hands placed ever so carefully on his clothed body, trying to keep him grounded whenever the aversion got too bad. You had seen him at his worst, where he had to put his head in between his knees in order to stop the flashbacks from coming back to him. Though sometimes no matter how hard you tried, Kaz would morph back into that little boy again, feeling his brother's dead motionless flesh against his own as he floated back ashore. He would feel alone, no matter how much you tried to explain that you were here, he didn’t have to worry, he wasn’t there, he was safe.

And what was even worse, he felt like he was somehow disappointing you. He was with you, but you couldn’t even touch his bare skin without him spiraling into a mess. No matter how many times you explained that you were there for him, that you were always going to make sure that he was okay, there was still a piece of him that wished he was different. But Kaz’s wishes never came true, it would never magically go away. He had to face this head on if he was ever going to be able to properly love you, and for you, he was willing to try anything. 

That had been a few months ago, and since then the two of you had worked very hard to overcome his aversion. You went slow, placing bare hands against each other, small kisses, anything that you could think of that would be enough to help but also just enough to not make Kaz feel uncomfortable. It had gotten to the point where you two were able to cuddle with one another, his hands could go up and down your spine and paint small drawings on the skin of your arm and legs. And you could do the same towards him. After a while, you both were able to take your tops off, explore those parts of your bodies, and every time you went farther, the desire began to creep its way into both of your chests. Both of you were aware what the next step was, you both weren’t dumb, but neither of you had the inclination to talk about it. It was like the two of you were dancing around the conversation, doing everything that you could to not bring it up. 

Wylan and Jesper were always talking about it. Well, that was a lie, Jesper was usually the one that would talk about it with you. He always talked about the pining, the excitement of getting to explore your lover's body . . . it was something that you wanted but had never experienced before and before you knew it, you were sitting on your shared bed with Kaz, trying to concentrate on a book while he did his paperwork at his desk. You took a moment to stare at him, watching as his hands pressed against the paper, quill etching sounds into the silence between the both of you. You took your bottom lip into your teeth, sucking in a harsh breath. You could do this. 

“Kaz, I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

You could’ve gone about it a different way, because the moment Kaz stopped what he was doing and turned to face you, there was a hint of worry in his expression. Most of the time when a person told another that they had to talk to them about something, it was bad news, and you were quick to assure him that it was nothing of the sort. “Nothing bad, I promise. I just wanted to bring an idea up to you.” His face immediately softened, one that you knew he didn’t share with many. You took a moment to study his expressive eyes, your own going from them to his lips, the ones that you wished were kissing the delicate skin on your body. Giving him a tiny smile, you said, “I wanted to see what you . . . thought about having sex with me? We’ve been getting to that point for a while now and I just thought that it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you wanted to go all the way?” 

This was definitely something that he wasn’t expecting to come out of his mouth, especially because of the unspoken barrier between the both of you when it came to talking about these types of things. Of course he wanted to, saints, if he could he would take you right then and there but you and him knew that it would take a lot more mental preparation on his end for this to happen. And perhaps for a moment you thought that you had struck a nerve with him, that he would dismiss the idea and you would leave to compose yourself, but that was far from the truth. Instead he set down the quill and turned to face you completely, his gloved hands playing with one another as an attempt to ground. You didn’t move, eyes attentively staring, waiting for him to say something. Kaz eventually opened his mouth to say, “Of course I want to have sex with you.” He said it as though you were dumb thinking that he wasn’t, but you knew that this was his way of trying to guard himself from the actual thoughts that came into his head. “I think I just need a little time to prepare first-” “Yes! I know, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable first,” You cut him off, not wanting him to think that you were going to pressure him. 

Soon enough you two were discussing the logistics, almost as if you were scheduling a business meeting of a sort. It made you chuckle at first, but as the days went by, closer to the date that the two of you planned to finally go the final step, your nerves began to jumble up. 

~

You sat down at the edge of his bed, very reminiscent of a few days ago when you popped the question, but instead of Kaz sitting at his desk, he was sitting beside you. His breathing was slightly rigid, he was nervous which you completely understood. In order to comfort him, you placed your hand on his gloved one, looking at him with a look of kindness in an attempt to show him that you were nervous too. 

“I love you,” You said to him. 

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

One finger at a time, you began to pull his gloves off of his hand, and then the other one, setting the pair onto the bedside table. You held one of his hands with yours while the other one made its way to the back of his neck, pressing soft kisses to his lips. Kaz responded by putting his hand on your waist, eagerly kissing you back. He pulled you closer to him, until you got the idea of straddling his waist, legs on either side of him as you sat on his lap. This kissing went on for a while, semi for comfort but also for pleasure, as you knew that you would never get tired of kissing Kaz Brekker. His lips tasted like honeyed tea and you relished in the notion that you would be the only one who ever got to taste such a sweet thing. 

You were still sitting on his thighs and you needed him more than ever now. That familiar feeling that bubbled up inside of you whenever you two got this far began to resurface, causing the kissing to become even more fast paced, filled with want and need. Though the most enjoyable part was that the two of you were having fun, taking moments to stop and admire one another. For a moment a sly smile came across his lips and you wiped it away with a kiss, going back to the fast pace that had been set before. Your hands came and tentatively went under his shirt, feeling the taut skin of his chest with calm and courteous fingers, not wanting to upset him, though clearly beginning to fog up the idea of being gentle. The thought of him above you with a body like that? It made you falter in your movements. He was beautiful, and you were sure that you would never allow him to forget it. 

Using the break in your concentration to his advantage, Kaz began mouthing along your skin, knowing that your neck was sensitive in a multitude of places and skimming your skin with his teeth ever so gently, hands pulling up your shirt above your head. His eyes scanned your body, raising an eyebrow. “No bra?” He asked, making you shy away and look anywhere but at his face. You didn’t reply, but he seemed to not like that. His hand came and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. You gave a small smile, “I wanted to be comfy.” He hummed, somewhat disappointed in your answer but not disappointed at how compliant you seemed to be with him. Kaz went back to kissing your neck, teeth grazing along your soft skin, making you jump whenever he bit down on a particular spot. 

You were beginning to grow impatient. Perhaps it was with the way that he was worshiping you, wanting to kiss every single inch of you and make you keel into his touch over and over again. Or maybe it was because no one had ever made you feel this way before. You hadn’t been with others before, never trying to get this far with the men of Ketterdam for fear of ruin or awkwardness in the morning. You had only longed for Kaz before. 

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them and kneading them together, fingers coming to pinch your nipples. Your back arched into him and you almost fell over on top of him, using your hands on his muscles to stop you. You reached and decided you wanted to please him, to show him how much you wanted him. You trailed your hands under his shirt and came to the band of his pants, pushing your fingers past it and making your way down. Before you could hit his obvious hard on, one of his own hands came and grasped your wrists, pulling your hand away. You looked up, thinking that you did something wrong. Tilting your head, you gave him a silent what? Maybe you had made him uncomfortable, and he was trying to come up with a way to tell you off. 

Though that didn’t seem to be the case when Kaz’s lips offered a smirk. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” Kaz explained. In one movement he put his hands to your back and flipped you two over, him now on top of you. Your head hit the mattress with a small humph and wondered what he had in store for you. 

You worked with him to shimmy your pants and panties off, throwing them to some side of the room. His hands splayed against your thighs and you watched with an open mouth to see what he was going to do. He gave you a look, a familiar one that reminded you that you were actually here with him, no one else, the two of you were doing this amazing thing together. Your heart swelled with adoration as you thought that this was the man that you loved, the one that you trusted more than anyone else in the entire world. You were also well aware of the slick that was beginning to coat your thighs, body betraying you and showing him how much you wanted him, how you ached for him. Kaz seemed to like it though, bringing his flesh hand to your slit and scooping some of it up. When he brought his hand back up, you could see the way that it glistened on his skin, popping a finger into his mouth and humming sinfully at the taste. He did it again and again, humming every single time your arousal hit his tongue. You looked down with heated cheeks, feeling a little embarrassed that you were getting so worked up over something so small. “You taste . . .” He trailed off, bringing his tongue to your folds and swiping up from your hole to your clit. “Amazing.” 

“It’s all for you,” You said, wiggling your hips and urging him to pleasure you again. Kaz smirked, feeling a sense of pride wash over him at your words. He brought a finger to you and pushed it in, watching your mouth open into a wide ‘O’ at the feeling. He curled it up, making your muscles tighten around him. Kaz built a steady pace and he came back up to your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek sweetly as if he couldn’t hear the lewd sounds that were being created when he added a second finger in. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” He said, towering over you. His thumb rubbed against your clit while his fingers fucked into you. “To see you under me like this.” The both of you seemed to have this desire for each other for the longest time. 

You moaned out at his words, thighs clenching around his hand to keep him there. You couldn’t respond, too busy thinking about the steady fire that was building in you. You reached to climb higher, hoping he would grant you some kind of release. He didn’t give it to you though. Instead, whenever you were getting to that tipping point, he would stop all of his movements altogether until you stopped shaking, then repeat the process over and over again. It was making you go crazy, how he had the power to push you towards release but he just wouldn’t do it.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t. As if to test you further, he pushed a third finger into you, making you moan out his name loud and roll your eyes to the back of your skull. His thumb kept rubbing languid circles on your clit. You thought if you stayed quiet you could sneak an orgasm, cut him off guard. But as if he heard your thoughts, his movements stalled and he put his other hand firmly on your hips so you couldn’t even move against his statue-like hand. His dark eyes bore into your own and you squeezed around his fingers. “You make me feel so good, Kaz.” The praise fell from your lips with ease, lava pooling in your stomach as if threatening to burst at any moment. If only he would just rub a little bit more . . .

He pulled his hand away from you. Kaz didn’t even respond to your statement and you wondered if you said something wrong, if he had enough. And he had enough all right, but not enough of you. He wanted to see you cum, just around his cock and not his fingers. But you couldn’t hear what he was thinking, which made you whimper when he pulled himself away fully, standing at the edge of the bed. You opened your legs up to him, the farthest that you could go without hurting yourself and hoping that it would make him come back to you quickly. Your clit was aching from several denied orgasms, almost thinking about pulling your hand down to finish yourself off, though deciding against it when knowing Kaz would never allow something like that. He liked seeing you writhing like this. 

Kaz’s hands shed all his clothing. He wasn’t exactly putting on a show for you but you marveled anyways, watching the way that his muscles flexed when his shirt came off and how you wanted to lick all around his abdominal region and make your way all down to his cock, which was pressed against his stomach and slightly glistening with precum. It was big and felt your insides clench just thinking about it sliding into you. Once he was satisfied with his clothing off, he came back down to the bed and kneeled between your spread legs. 

“Kaz,” You whispered. “Please.” 

There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and it took all of your strength to not roll your eyes. “What do you want me to do to you?” Of course he wanted to hear you say it, to announce what he was inevitably going to do. You couldn’t ignore the way you loved how controlling he was with you, how he ordered you to do some things. And as much as you hated that he didn’t let you cum, you also loved how he would make you cum when he wanted you to, not you. He took his cock into his hands and rubbed the tip against your glistening folds, teasing you in the most sinful way possible.

“Please . . . Fuck me Kaz. Make me cum, I can’t take it anymore.” You just wanted him inside of you so badly, you were going to scream if this went on for any longer. He was right there, denying you both the pleasure. With a nod of his head, he pushed into you in one fluid motion. The feeling of him bottoming out inside of you made you grip onto his bicep, pulling him close so his warm chest was against your own again. He wasted no time moving, the sound of it deliciously sweet in your ears. Kaz took your legs and pushed them upwards, your feet hanging off of his shoulders and pressing your thighs further up until they were almost hitting the mattress. The change in position had you crying out, feeling him hit deeper inside of you. 

You could feel every single scrape of his cock against your walls, increasing that fire in your stomach until you were sure you were about to cum. He kept at it with such loyalty and vigor, his motivation to make you feel the best you ever had fuelling him to a tenfold. He was such a devoted man to begin with, so you should’ve known that he would handle things the same way in bed. 

You squeezed around him. “Please,” You whimpered. 

“Go ahead.” Those two words were all you needed, allowing yourself to scream out as your orgasm ripped through you, built up again and again and now it was finally here and it was amazing. It rippled through you like shockwaves, and made you go limp under him, legs completely boneless. Kaz didn’t let up as he rode through your orgasm, keeping the same pace with you. He was unforgiving, not giving you time to adjust and instantly making you feel the feeling of overstimulation. You were so sensitive to his cock ramming in and out of you that you could feel a second orgasm already building up. The tip of him hit a particularly nice spot in you and you yelled, curling your toes and your hands came to tangle and grip in his hair. You almost stopped for a moment thinking that you were hurting him, but when you looked at his face, you saw only fucked out bliss, white incisors showing in a ravenous grin. His eyes opened and they were almost fully dark, making you shiver. 

“You feel so good,” He mumbled, as though he was talking to himself. He was completely thrown into the pleasure that you were giving him, hot and warm and just perfect , like you were made for his cock to be rammed into over and over again. “Made for me, all for me.” He used your past words, them never losing their meaning no matter how many times he muttered under his breath. 

Time seemed to slow and grow faster at the same time, the whole room disappearing as both of you focused on only each other. You weren’t sure how many times he had made you cum at this point, you took whatever he gave you and took it well. When you got enough strength to crane your neck down, you watched as your hole enveloped his cock, it coming back out slicked with the remnants of your past orgasms. Kaz saw where your eyesight was and a sense of pride washed over him again. “Do you like watching that? Seeing how well you take me?” He asked, egging you on. His hand went to grab your own and placed it on your lower abdomen, and you could feel the skin slightly raising up every time he went into you. You could see it too, sliding in and out. Though, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, his movements were beginning to falter. He was becoming more sloppy with his hips and you knew he was about to cum. So, to give him what he had worked for, you wiggled your hips up, matching his hips. Your oversensitive clit rubbed against the base of his cock and you were clenching around him, and as if on cue, you were cumming again, feeling weak under him. Kaz wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, his cock splitting you open until he was spilling inside of you. 

The moans that left his mouth were probably the hottest things you had ever felt in your life. You could feel his cum dripping down his cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the soiled sheets. He put you down on the bed and followed you, eyes watching your own and kissing your sweaty forehead. He finally stopped moving and stilled inside, not wanting to leave you. He didn’t want to leave this moment and neither did you. 

[system-to-the-madness]

How Kaz would take care of you during exam season (Headcanons)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: drabble, fluff Word Count: 317 Warnings: food, Kaz is staring and he’s aware of it

He always brings you coffee, or rather your favourite hot drink. It takes him a few tries to get it right, and he always watches you very carefully when you take your first sips, so he knows how to improve it.

If he doesn’t make the drink himself, he gets it from your favourite shop. He knows your order because he always pays close attention when you talk to the staff, so he can learn it.

He is not very good at languages or sciences, but he aces math, even though he never really paid attention in classes. So, if you need help with math, he’s the guy to go to.

But actually... you don’t.

Because he always turns up before you even know you’re going to have a question, it’s never you who approaches him, but he who approaches you. It’s almost like he’s desperately searching for a way to spend more time with you… but he wouldn’t. Why would he?

Everyone is always scared for your life when they find out he’s helping you, worried he might lose his temper with you, but even though he is often grumpy, he never shoots a nasty word your way, never raises his voice, never gets impatient.

As a matter of fact, he’s more patient with you than you’d like. You almost feel bad for how much he takes care of you and helps you, even when you’re unconcentrated. And when you brood over an exercise or are writing an essay, Kaz doesn’t just leave. Instead, he props his elbow up on the table, chin in his gloved hand, and leans over a book. The only time he’s actually looking at the book though is when you lift your head. The rest of the time he just watches you, and he would absolutely deny it, but there’s a soft smile on his lips as he watches you work.

[pretty-little-mind33]

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Summary: Kaz Brekker isn't insecure.

Genre: Angst (happy ending), hurt/comfort

Warnings: Canon like violence, mentions of blood

Kaz Brekker wasn't an insecure man.

To survive inside The Barrel, insecurities weren't a freedom him or his Crows had since insecurity meant weakness, and weakness meant death.

However, Kaz would rather die a million times over than watch you touch Matthias so tenderly again.

It isn't your fault — it was his plan : an admittedly reckless plan that ended with the need for your healing. Your touch. Still, Kaz stands silently in the corner of the room, jaw clenched, as you slowly move Matthias's shirt over his head and hover your palms over his wound.

"You do know that's her job?" Jesper points out, cleaning his guns as he stands next to Kaz, "This is why you hired her, remember? So she could heal us."

"I know." Kaz says, stoically.

"Then try not to look like you want to snap his neck. He's already beaten up because of you." Jesper sounds annoyed and Kaz can't blame him. This was on him. His thirst for money almost killed his Crows. Killed you. Watching your hand smooth down Matthias's hair, a small smile curling your lips, Kaz's hands tremble on his cane. A familiar nauseous sensation starts in his stomach and moves up his throat until his skin pales and Jesper, although exasperated, asks him if he's okay.

He's not okay, and he wants to tell Jesper — scream it out — but all Kaz does is nod curtly. He turns around and almost bumps into Nina as he leaves the room.

The door slams behind him causing you to look up from your work, confused, as Nina asks, "What's got his knickers in a twist?"

She continues with a smirk, "Poor boy's heart was almost pounding out of his chest," Nina looks at you for a moment. You hadn't even noticed Kaz and Jesper, too busy tending to Matthias and your heart sinks. All you can think about now is if Kaz is okay.

Is he hurt and just didn't want to tell you?

"Here," You say, handing Matthias his shirt and squeezing his shoulder, "You'll live." Matthias smiles a little as Nina stands by his side, holding his hand and leaning over to whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

You hurry to Jesper, "Jes," You start, rocking onto your toes to look at the closed door behind him, "Where'd the boss go? Is he hurt?" You ask, concerned for Kaz's health. Jesper looks at you and you can visibly see the wheels in his head turn.

"Jesper, tell me." You demand.

You had been the last Crow to join Kaz's crew — their "little crow" as Jesper liked to tease — so you had grown used to, sometimes, being left out of conversations. You knew it would take the team a while to completely trust you, and even with Inej's reassurance that she'd never seen Kaz trust someone as quickly as he trusted you, you still felt like the weak link.

The seventh crow.

The odd man out.

"He's being a child." Jesper says after consideration. You frown, nose scrunching in disapproval, and decide to push past him. Jesper calls your name in warning but you don't listen. You walk out into the main hall of the club, Matthias's blood still stained on your dress, and make your way to Kaz's office. The one place you knew he'd be.

Inej walks out just as you prepare to knock.

"Y/n," She says, eyes widening, as she pulls down her hood.

"Inej," You say, your cheeks burning, as an embarrassing feeling of jealousy stirs in your chest. It disappears when you look inside Kaz's office to see him leaning against his chair, his coat and hat put away, and he looks upset, "Is he okay? I just want to make sure he's not injured."

Inej looks behind her and then she turns to you, "I think he just needs someone to talk to." She smiles.

You nod silently. When Inej leaves, you breathe steadily and prepare yourself.

"Boss?" You whisper, knuckles brushing the open door and when Kaz tenses, you wince.

"Y/n." He turns around. Your eyes glance at his gloved hands, and you're suddenly aware of how dry your throat is, "What do you want?" His voice is curt, unemotional and, if you didn't know Kaz like you did, hurtful.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't need me," Quickly, you show him your hands to emphasize your point. Kaz doesn't move, his blue eyes locked onto yours.

"How is Matthias?"

Honestly, Kaz couldn't care less about Matthias. Of course he doesn't want him dead, but he can't shake the image of your hand on Matthias's chest and every time, he wants to puke.

Kaz wouldn't admit this but he wishes he could touch you, or that you could touch him. It felt so unfair : having you stand in front of him and him being unable to take your hand, kiss your lips, hold you in his arms. Kaz almost wishes that if he can't, no one could.

But, he doesn't mean it — he knows you're too kind, too delicate, to deprive of someone worthy to love and to love you.

"He'll live." You restate. You look at Kaz more closely, "Are you sure you're okay? Your shirt is torn," You point at the small tear near Kaz's side. Kaz tenses. He had seen the wound but knew no one could help, so he didn't want to worry anyone.

"I'm fine," He says, stepping away from you when you try to move towards him. Your arm hangs in mid-air, cheeks flushed warm, as your heart thumps painfully. You withdraw and hold your hand to your chest, staring at Kaz's injury.

Kaz never let you heal him and as hard as you tried, you couldn't understand why.

He'd hired you because you were a healer. A runaway Grisha in need of a job and a home. Kaz had generously taken you in (upon Nina's insistence), but now you can't help but wonder if he regrets his decision. After all, it's obvious he doesn't trust you to help him.

Kaz sees the hurt in your eyes and he hates himself. How can he explain his situation without sounding embarrassingly weak? Being weak is the last thing he wants to be in front of you.

"Okay." You whisper and turn around. Kaz doesn't try and stop you. Instead he also turns around and waits until he hears the door close. When he does, he almost lets his mask crumble.

Almost.

* * *

Kaz's plans were always dangerous.

Kaz knew this, but he also knew they were always more dangerous for you than for anyone else. As a healer, you knew the basics of self-defense, but mostly your job consisted of tending to the injuries after the conflict.

So, more often than none, Kaz insisted you stay behind.

Only, as time went on you didn't want to wait around as your friends put themselves in danger. You wanted to help, and luckily you had protested Kaz's orders this time because the moment a knife sunk into his stomach and he collapsed onto the ground, you were rushing to his side.

"Kaz!" You exclaim, sliding to kneel next to him. Your arms are at your sides so you wouldn't accidentally touch him. You grab his cane and hold it close as you watch the crimson seep through Kaz's gloved fingers. He looks so scared.

"Kaz," You say, softer this time.

"Y/n! Watch out!" Inej shouts from somewhere behind you.

Before you can even think to turn around, one of Pekka Rollin's men grips your hair and starts to harshly drag you away from Kaz. You kick and scream, nails scratching at the man's hand. You need to heal Kaz. Clutching his cane, you muster as much strength as you can and hit the man behind you until he stumbles and you manage to pull yourself away from him.

You almost throw yourself back to where Kaz is and without hesitation, you rest your hands around his wound. Kaz inhales and his eyes squeeze shut: both from the pain and the sensation of someone's touch.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You plead as you try to heal him as quickly as possible. In any normal situation, you would never touch him like this: without his permission. You feel awful, "Please, Kaz, be okay." You mutter.

Kaz is clearly uncomfortable but, finally, when you see his eyes clear from any pain, he's instantly pushing you away from him. It's an instinct so you blame him when you stumble over.

You watch him almost curl into himself and your chest tightens. You want to cry.

You don't have time to cry as the man who'd attacked you just a few minutes earlier harshly pulls you off the ground. You aren't quick enough to snatch Kaz's cane off the ground and you yelp, "If you struggled less than this would be much easier, witch." The man snaps, crushing you into his chest, and you hiss in pain.

However, the man mustn't have seen that you'd healed Kaz in time, because when Kaz's cane slams into his mouth, he's taken by surprise and crashes into the wall: knocked out cold. The man's blood sprinkled on your cheek, you crouch down to cover your ears as the last of Jesper's gun-shots blast loudly into the air and suddenly the night is silent. You hold your head, still throbbing from the pain, and look up:

Kaz clutches his cane in one hand. While he stands a little unevenly, color has returned to his face and he doesn't look like he's two minutes from death anymore. Still, his chin is bruised purple and his left cheekbone is oddly swollen.

When Kaz looks at you with an odd expression of worry and annoyance, since the guilt has sunken in, you stand and avoid his stare.

"Y/n!" Jesper exclaims and swoops you up from behind. He holds you close and you bury your nose into his shoulder, "Saints, you scared me." Lifting your head, you look behind him as Inej, Nina, Matthias, and Wylan gather around.

When Jesper reluctantly releases you, he turns to glance at Inej. They seem concerned at how emotionless Kaz looks for someone who almost died.

Kaz looks at them, then at you quickly, and his lips twitch. He looks at the ground and, holding his cane, he limps past everyone. "Come." He orders.

The more Kaz walks, the more he feels sick. He shouldn't since the wound has completely disappeared and he doesn't feel any pain anymore. You had done your job. You had healed him. You had touched him.

He shivers and wishes his heart would calm down.

Kaz doesn't hate you. He's not even mad. You didn't have a choice — or you did, but he most likely would have died if you hadn't jumped in in time. Honestly, he's more disgusted with himself that he couldn't enjoy your touch: which is something he's wished to feel so badly.

He's also incredibly upset because his plan failed — for the second time — and, maybe more than anything else, Kaz is furious that Pekka Rollin's men had the opportunity to lay their hands on you.

* * *

Upon your return to the Crow Bar, you had gone around and mended any little scratches or aches anyone had and now you sat in a corner, an anxious bundle of guilt and nerves. You pick at your nails as you replay what happened in your head, over and over again until it's all you can think about.

You fear Kaz will throw you out into the street with nothing. You'd broken an important boundary and knowing Kaz, he'd be capable of doing so without remorse. So, lost in your anxiety, you don't hear someone call your name,

"Y/n,"

Your face falls. "Boss!" You exclaim, standing up, as you try and look composed and certainly not like the absolute mess you were.

Kaz looks at you blankly, a look that now feels incredibly intimidating. He doesn't speak and instead he just nods his head towards his office door. You follow him quickly. Inside Kaz's office, the air seems thicker and the light is dim. He turns just as you close the door. You look at him, prepared for the worst.

"I'm sorry." Kaz says seriously, it sounds like those two words had been rehearsed a thousand times. His hands hold his cane so tightly you can almost hear the leather of his gloves squeeze, "You shouldn't have been involved in this mission."

You feel like someone has ripped your heart out of your chest, slowly squeezing until you could pass out.

"I understand that I shouldn't have crossed that boundary," You start and then you pause, "But Kaz," You look up at him, desperate for him to understand, "You could have died. I was panicking, that mean man had me by my hair and you weren't really aware of your surroundings anymore. I had to do something. I couldn't lose you."

It's almost like Kaz's shocked expression in response to your sudden admission of endearment mirrors your own. Your eyes widen and your mouth slowly closes as you stand extremely still, almost like you're hoping you'll disappear.

It feels like an eternity before Kaz speaks and judging by how calculated his words sound, you can tell he's making sure to say the right thing, "And I," He takes a sharp breath as you hold yours, "can't lose you."

You stare at him curiously. Caring words sound so unfamiliar coming from Kaz Brekker: he infamous Bastard Of The Barrel. You don't know how to feel.

"I understand." You lie.

"No. No. You don't understand." Kaz interrupts and he looks so serious. His posture is tense and, as you stand in front of him, you worry that something has suddenly gone wrong, "I couldn't care less about you being our healer." He explains.

Then what do you care about? You think.

Kaz answers your question almost like you'd asked him aloud, "I care about you. I worry about you. You consume my every thought,"

You feel like air isn't even available anymore and the tension is palpable. You didn't realize how close you're standing to Kaz until his gloved hand brushes lightly against your cheek, touching where the small specks of blood still lay. You turn your head so his hand can't touch you.

"Kaz, you really don't,"

"I want to." He whispers, voice smooth, "I want you." He sounds so innocent.

His hand lingers, until Kaz pulls it away and flexes his fingers. You can see him panic just a little and your eyes soften. You don't want him to push himself for you.

"Your aversion towards touch doesn't bother me, you know." You say, "I don't know exactly why you don't like it, or why you wear those gloves like your armor, but it doesn't matter. I still like you."

Kaz's eyebrows crease in confusion. Like him? An unusual spark ignites in his chest but he stays as emotionless as possible in fear of disappointment, "And that means?"

You're suddenly embarrassed. Did you read this wrong? Does he not want you like you thought he does? "I mean, I - I don't know how to say this - I want you?" You say, hoping that if he'd meant his words in that way, he'll understand.

Calmness washes over Kaz and for once, his armor starts to slip. He stands a little taller and his shoulders slack as a strong, unusual, feeling swells in his chest. He looks at you with utmost care. His eyes flick from feature to feature. He admires the creases around your eyes, the way your hair falls, the way you carry yourself with confidence and caution. His eyes move to your lips: something he knows he can't touch. At least not now, he tells himself because if he doesn't he might go mad with grief. He inhales and exhales slowly, thinking of his answer very carefully,

"I would give you the world, love." He says. It's a statement. A fact he would realize if he'd been born with money and status. He'd make you his Queen, "If I could." He adds quietly.

You feel warmth spread across your body and you ache to hold him. You settle for a smile instead. "I already have the world, Kaz Brekker." You admit and maybe for the second time since you've known him, Kaz cracks smiles. A real smile, not his crooked smirks or his sarcastic sneers. A tender smile, almost uncharacteristic and bizarre but nonetheless, a smile you wish to see more often.

No, Kaz Brekker, Bastard Of The Barrel — Dirtyhands himself — isn't an insecure man. He has no insecurities, and certainly no weaknesses.

That had all been true once. Now? Now, his one weakness is you and Kaz would make damn sure that no one ever even thinks of touching his weakness ever again.

[qdrntln4]

stained.

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!ghafa!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, established relationship

warnings: mentions of reader’s trauma, description of murder (reader’s/inej’s parents), author input of (probably incorrect) lore, mentions of non-consensual sexual activities (only briefly mentioned, nothing major, related to the menagerie), kaz can push past his touch aversion with reader, kind of just a word vomit, mentions of food (pomegranates, obviously), let me know if i missed any :]

a/n: the ghafa!reader idea was inspired by @raven-steinderolo so credits to them for that idea ❤️ (big fan btw), the rest of the fic is all fresh from the mind.

my father had pomegranates at his house and as i was opening one to eat it, i got this idea for a kaz fanfic. i’m probably a bit rusty coming back into the writing scene so please be patient- but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!!

every time the coach pulled by strong, black horses passed that street, she looked to see if her cat was sitting outside of the long abandoned house, waiting for her return; every time, the cat was never there.

after a month of being left alone in that hell hole full of prostitution and lustful men, the coach finally came back. this time, as the black leathered box passed the street, she hadn’t looked up. her eyes were casted down, only peering out of the rain-stained window once the light of the passing village had struck her by surprise.

she hadn’t looked up.

she hadn’t seen if the cat was awaiting her return.

besides being a show for men young and old to pry their eyes at, she was a maid. a cook’s maid. she only did one thing. she peeled the pomegranates.

she picked only the ripest ones, squeezing it to hear the crack of its bones. the sharpest knife in the kitchen would enter her hand. the fruit bled out onto the wooden cutting board placed beneath it. she picked up one half at a time, squeezing the sides with both of her hands as hard as her muscles could muster, watching the remaining blood and few seeds fall into the bowl.

then, she’d get to work. she’d crack the skin, plucking out the stubborn red speckles that latched onto the white silk within the confined walls of the pomegranates.

that’s all she was used for. that’s all the world saw her as able to proceed with. that and pleasuring the disturbed horniness of the men who didn’t care for consent.

her sister was no different, except she never knew how to crack open a pomegranate, how to touch it as if it were a virgin.

there was one thing the sisters shared, though. it seemed that inej had passed down her ability to be silent. the wraith — a most unsuspecting member of the crows passing her knowledge and traits down to her younger sister only to create two of the same person.

that’s how (Y/N) got out of the mess of the menargerie.

and that’s how inej came running up to her, on the ground, pulling the suli sister into a long mourned embrace.

“how on earth do we get these open?”

the three crows were gathered around a small basket, the contents inside of the straw-woven piece red and round. jesper picked one out, tossed it about before inej snatched it off of him, placing the fruit back where it was picked from.

“has anyone actually opened a pomegranate before?” kaz asked, hands on his cane as if it was his default stance. jesper stayed silent, watching the pomegranates as if they could grow legs and run away. inej perked her head up, eyes lighting up with an idea.

“i know someone who can,” the suli girl’s lips pulled into a smirk, feeling the presence of a wanted crow on her back.

“you called?”

(y/n) stepped beside her sister, a hand instinctively wrapping around inej’s bicep. surprisingly, kaz gave a little jump, one gloved hand coming up to rest on his fast paced heart. not so surprisingly, jesper gave a yelp and asked for the umpteenth time, ‘how does she do that?’.

(y/n) looked down to the basket of pomegranates, a frown forming on her lips. inej instantly took notice of the shift in demeanour. it was then that she remembered, she remembered how her sister was taken away every week for one night then brought back a few hours later. a sorry look crossed inej’s eyes, though (y/n) paid it no attention.

before anyone could speak up on the matter, she stepped forward, rolling up the sleeves of her white button up, taking the basket in her hands and disappearing into the small, clammy kitchen that hid behind the bar.

(y/n) picked up the fruit. she squeezed it to hear the crack of its bones. she picked the sharpest knife in the kitchen. the fruit bled out onto the cutting board, small stains of red appearing on her shirt. she picked up one half at a time, squeezing the sides with both of her hands as hard as her muscles could muster, watching the remaining blood and few seeds fall into a bowl. then, she got to work. she cracked the skin, plucking out the stubborn red speckles that latched onto the white silk within the confined walls of the pomegranates.

it was all the same. she saw her young hands below her, soaked in the juice. the dark red stains always reminded her of blood. the blood of her mother as her father stabbed into her back before their baby girl. the blood of her father as she did the same to him, forcing the man to watch himself bleed dry in the mirror before him.

inej had held her after her doing, telling (y/n) that everything was going to be okay. that they were safe now. they thought so. back then, they were.

but when (y/n) looked down at her stained hands and shirt, she knew the hand holding her shoulder wasn’t inej’s. instead of leather, she felt skin. his skin.

kaz’s hand.

she hadn’t realised the tears that had slipped from her eyes. the salty water slipping from her cheeks down her neck.

kaz pulled her to face the side, rubbing a warm, wet cloth over her hands to rid of the red. he unbuttoned her shirt, slipping it off of her shoulders before replacing the soaked material with a shirt of his own. he knew the scent of his cologne always calmed (y/n). the smell of smoke, whiskey and rain mixed all into a muse of kaz himself.

the waters hadn’t risen. he no longer felt the salty liquid lapping at his calves, or his ankles, or his feet. the water no longer appeared when he touched (y/n). it was like that the first time they held hands after a heist. everything that night went smoothly after thinking of all the terrible outcomes. walking shoulder to shoulder, their fingers softly brushed against each other, slowly, but surely, their fingers interlinking with one another.

(y/n)’s breathing slowed to a steady pace. kaz always had that effect on her. their foreheads came to close the gap between their bodies; just a touch of skin-to-skin to tell each other the words ‘i’m here’.

kaz looked down to catch her line of sight, placing a soft kiss to her lips. it felt as if the world around them didn’t exist. the loud buzzing of the crow club dialing down to a low murmur as their lips connected. how (y/n) could’ve used this as a young girl. stuck in that kitchen, the voices in her head screaming at her.

before, all she saw was her father’s blood on her hands. now, she can push past the longing trauma to see fruit that she’d probably bring an extra bowl up to her partner deep into the night as he worked.

“hope is dangerous,” kaz opened his eyes to look at his lover, who was already gazing up at him in awe. “clouds your judgement.” (y/n) finished.

before, that sentence was used to push each other away. now, it’s a way of grounding each other.

hope is dangerous.

if you hope he was still alive somehow, despite the countless blood stains on that mirror, it’ll come back to haunt you. don’t let it haunt you.

clouds your judgement.

i’m not him. you can stab me all you like, i’ll love you like he never could.

[t-horn-n]

vii. six of crows masterlist

— masterlist navigation.

— kaz brekker

oneshot : wake up call : fluff

you’re not a morning person.  who can blame you?

oneshot : waffles : fluff

if kaz didn’t want a mess in the kitchen, he shouldn’t have ordered you to a week of bed rest. 

drabble : tiny little boxes : fluff-ish

kaz brekker has a label for everyone.  a box for everything, well, sans you.

— masterlist navigation.

[frost-queen]

Shadow walker (Reader x Kaz Brekker)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers @merlieve,  @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly,@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @venomsvl, @the-uncoordinated-house-cat, @rosecentury, @imagines-by-her,  @evilcr0ne, @vviolynn

Summary: Vampire!Au. Kaz has been around for a very long time and decides to tell someone his story. His eyes fall upon you a famous writer in Ketterdam. You become infatuated by his story. After his story you take your space from Kaz, yet he is always around. Lurking in the shadows for his heart yearns for you.

A gush of wind blew behind you, startling you. It made you gasp loud having turned around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary till you saw the window frames thud shut and close. The curtains blowing up by the wind had gone in. Furrowing your brows you wondered how the window had opened itself. The candles on your desk got blown out, dimming your room in darkness.

You went around the desk to your window. Taking a hold of the frame, you had to use all your might to keep it in place. You quickly locked them. Brushing your curtains afterwards back in place. With a soft breath you took a step back. The soft creak of a wooden floorboard made you jump out of your skin. Someone was in your house.

Turning around you were pushed back in your previous position a gloved hand pressed against your mouth. Your eyes widened staring back into the eyes of a man. The gloves deafened out your scream when he pressed his hand harder on your mouth. His other hand behind your head to keep you in place.

“Calm down.” – he said as his pupils seemed to change sizes. Your muscles untensed as he slowly lowered his grip on you. With a simple nod he wanted to ask if you were okay. You nodded brief back unsure why you felt at ease around him. – “How did you get in?” – you asked as your voice didn’t match the panic in your head. Your head was screaming with terror at the stranger in your house, yet your body language was calm and eased. – “Take a seat Y/n.” – he suggested, motioning to one of your stools.

With a gentle touch on your elbow, he gestured for you to do so. Funnily you did. – “How do you know my name?” – you questioned as he clicked his tongue with a sway of his finger. He undid himself from his black long coat, laying it neatly over his arm. – “I have a story to tell.” – he simply said. You watched him hang his coat on your coatrack in the corner. Your room spacious but small. You practically lived and breathed there.

He then pulled a stool back across from you. It made you frown as you figured he would take a seat in your big chair behind the desk. The place where you would normally sit when working on the stories. Now he sat with you on the other end. The people’s side one would say. – “You have a hunger for stories right?” – he phrased with well picked out words. You hummed nodding your head. – “But office hours are…” – you started motioning with your hands as it was beyond your working hours that you met someone to interview.

The man turned his head to look at the night sky. – “I have unusual hours.” – he commented. – “Fair enough.” – you responded. The man’s stare was intense making you swallow nervously. – “What… what is the story about?” – you asked curious. The man looked briefly at his side as you followed his gaze. Against your desk stood a cane with a crow’s head on top. You hadn’t really noticed too occupied with the stranger in your house. Yet seeing the cane made you aware of who the stranger was. The man grabbed the cane, laid his gloved hands on top to lean and looked back at you.

“You’re… you’re Kaz Brekker.” – you concluded seeing him pull a smirk. – “So you have heard of me.” – he replied. You laughed once and loud as if he was telling fables. – “Heard? Sir you are most famous around  the Barrel. You sir have a reputation, Dirty hands.” – you pointed out. Kaz smiled. – “I do my best to keep it up.” – he said back. His comment made you chuckle as it took his attention. – “You… you said you have a story to tell? What is it about?” – you asked. – “Me.” – he spoke. – “Precisely about how I became the monster I am.” – he phrased making you quirk your eyebrow up.

“Monster? Sir?” – you asked to verify. He reached for your desk pulling your notebook and pencil closer to him. – “You’ll need paper to write.” – he offered it to you as you accepted it with two hands. You placed the notebook on your lap, curious to what he would say. – “I have done things I can’t speak off, Things I tried to wash off but can’t.” – he started. – “Sir, this is Ketterdam, we’ve all done things in order to survive.” – you responded. Kaz quirked his eyebrow up. – “But have you killed?” – he asked.

Your eyes widened as you took a hard swallow. – “Do not worry Y/n.” – he began seeing the fear in your eyes. – “I won’t harm you. You have to write my story so I still need you.” – he held his hand up to show you how innocent he was. – “And on that note call me Kaz. If I am going to tell you my entire life story, we can skip the formalities around here.” – he smirked as it made you look flushed away. Something about that smile that made him more attractive. You gestured for him to begin as you settled in. Kaz turned his head towards the window, taking a deep breath. His mind drifting away back in time to when he was younger.

The sky was grey. The rain had passed but a gloom was still in the air. Ketterdam smelled as bad as it did now, or perhaps a bit better. Young Kaz with an innocent mind toggled along after his brother Jordie. Jordie took a deep breath, hands on his hips. – “I can feel it Kaz, this will be a new start for us.” – Jordie said making Kaz roll with his eyes. Jordie noticed it. – “What are you laughing at your brother?” – he teased going with grabby hands at Kaz.

Kaz jumped around when Jordie tickled his stomach hard, making him laugh. – “Stop!” – Kaz laughed out trying to sound serious. – “People are …watching.” – he  panted out jumping away from Jordie’s tickling hands. – “Who cares!” – was Jordie’s response. – “I care.” – Kaz replied setting his jacket well. – “Come!” – Jordie called out, motioning with his head.

“We’ve got work to search.” – Kaz came jogging after him to join his side. The first door Jordie and Kaz knocked on got smacked right back in their faces. The second door opened. Jordie cleared his throat. – “Good sir.” – he said taking a bow. Seeing that Kaz wasn’t bowing made him elbow Kaz in the side. He groaned in pain, lowering to a bow. The man in the door opening grunted loud with a huff.

“My good brother and I are looking for an employer. We are handy, fast and will come in handy to help out.” – Jordie spoke advertising themselves. The man laughed loud, his stomach shuddering with him. – “You two are to puny to do any lifting.” – he answered. – “Good sir we are not!” – Jordie insisted on. The man turned a bit inside the house, appeared back and threw a large thick sack at Jordie. Jordie caught it, bend through his knees as they wobbled.

He tried to stay upright but the weight took him under. The man laughed louder when Jordie was on the ground, the sack right on top of his chest. His arms flopped up trying to get up, but it was no use. Jordie helped Kaz to roll the sack of his chest. The weight released as he shot up, gasping for air.

“Like I said puny.” – he mocked with a laugh. Kaz helped his brother up to his feet, glaring at the man. – “Don’t worry Kaz.” – Jordie began ruffling his fingers through his hair. – “I didn’t want to work here in the first place.” He swung his arm over Kaz’s shoulder, leading him away. The next three, four, five doors were pointless. Each time they received a hard no. The door slammed in their face to turn them away.

By midday had Jordie half given up. He let himself slide against the wall down, landing on his bottom. – “This is harder than I thought.” -  Jordie said with a loud huff. Kaz kicked some tiny rocks away with his feet. It was then that his stomach growled. He noticed Jordie looking, trying to make it appear as if nothing had happened. Jordie wanted to speak when his own stomach growled too. He grabbed for it, laughing loud. – “What’s funny?” – Kaz asked. – “We’re starving an no one wants us!” – he proclaimed.

Jordie got up, placing a hand on Kaz’s shoulder. – “We’ll find something.” – the two of them went on. More doors slammed in their faces on their search for work, a housing and food. No one seemed to want them. Standing in an alleyway was Jordie exhaling loud. Kaz’s gaze drifted away to the commotion he was hearing.

A man being thrown onto the ground. A man, clearly a figure of authority simply snapped his finger when two men started to punch the man. They kept punching as the man was defenceless. Their knuckles coloured with blood. The man with clear power snapped his head at Kaz. It made Kaz gasp loud, stumbling a bit back. His gaze alluring even from this far.

He said something to the two man as they stopped. Cracked their neck and made their way over to Kaz and Jordie. Jordie who wasn’t paying much attention felt Kaz bump against him. – “What’s going on?” – he asked looking behind Kaz. Eyes widening at the two broad-shouldered men running towards them. – “Run!” – Kaz called out pulling Jordie with him. Kaz and Jordie ran in the alleyways.

The fog swirling up to their ankles. Looking over his shoulder, Kaz saw that the men were still chasing him. While they were running noticed Kaz a shadow on the rooftops. It was too dark to see who it was, but their posture was enough to cause him fear. Kaz pushed Jordie in another alleyway to try and confuse the men after them.

Passing a passage way, Kaz noticed the same figure from on the rooftop standing in a crossing. He pushed Jordie in a street to the side. How come he was this fast? Jordie came to a stop making Kaz lose his balance and nearly stumble forwards. Kaz’s eyes widened hearing loud footsteps on the cobble stone. From the fog appeared a figure, swaying a pocket watch in the air.

Appearing under a lantern, they could get a good look at him. – “Hello boys.” – the man said as Kaz’s eyes widened. It was the same man he saw before ordering the man to be handled. He leaned in closer to Kaz with a smirk. Kaz noticed two of his teeth were sharper than his others. – “I’ve heard you boys are looking for work.” – he said. Jodie swallowed hard. The man drew his hand, offering it to shake. – “Pekka Rollins.” – he introduced himself.

“Pekka Rollins!” – you called out.

“Yes.” – Kaz sighed out. – “Can I continue?”

You nodded giving him the room once more. Kaz took a deep breath taking a moment to be off from where he was.

Jordie shook Pekka Rollins hand.

“Big mistake.” – you interrupted with a snarky comment.

Kaz cleared his throat with a stern glare at you. You zipped your lips, sealing them to not interrupt anymore. Kaz sighed again before beginning where he set off.

“I’ll hire you.” – Pekka Rollins said (Kaz quirked his eyebrow at you, just to warn you not to interrupt) “Great…” – Jordie answered as Kaz elbowed his brother. Jordie chuckled sheepishly telling Pekka Rollins to give him a second. Kaz and Jordie turned around speaking in hushed voices. – “What is wrong?” – Jordie asked. – “I got a bad feeling about him.” – Kaz responded. Jordie took a deep breath.

“He’s offering us work Kaz. It will be perfect, just you wait.” – Jordie turned back around as Kaz didn’t felt done with talking. The bad feeling about this man still vivid. – “We’ll work for you.” – Jordie spoke. – “Excellent.” – Pekka Rollins answered with a grin. Kaz swallowed nervously, the bad feeling increasing by the second.

Pekka Rollins wrapped his arms around Jordie and Kaz, guiding them back to his house. So Jordie and Kaz were hired under Pekka’s name. They both signed a contract. The work was hard, but it provided them with food and a roof above their head.

For several years everything was normal. Till near the end of the year all changed. Jordie was working in the compound. Bringing in a new delivery that had come from the docks. Jordie was humming a tune whilst carrying a heavy sack over his shoulder. He dropped the sack with the others inside the compound when he heard voices. It intrigued but didn’t make him lose focus.

He began to whistle making his way back outside to the cart to bring in the next sack. It dropped down with a loud thud as the sound of a body being pushed against a metal structure made him lift his head. He heard more commotion. This time he was curious as it sounded like a fight. One where the other was nearly defenceless against his opponent. Jordie followed the sounds coming closer. He came to a stop, going in hiding when he saw the fight. Jordie couldn’t recognize them at first till a clear view made him widen his eyes. Pekka Rollins.

He grabbed the man holding in front of him. Keeping him still by his chin. Pekka laid his head back, opening his mouth. Lowering his head as he bit the man’s neck. He squirmed and shuddered as blood drained down his neck. Jordie gasped, clasping his hand before his mouth. Out of shock he had pulled back, but his action made a bucket clatter to the ground. He turned round looking in shock at the bucket. He hoped Pekka hadn’t heard it so he dared to look back.

Yet Pekka wasn’t around anymore. Only the body of the man on the ground. Jordie felt a gush of wind from behind making him slowly turn in terror. Pekka grinned making Jordie jump back against the wall. – “Noisy boy.” – Pekka said. – “Now I’ll have to kill you.” – Pekka continued. – “I’ll keep your secret.” – Jordie blurted out in an attempt to save himself. – “Jordie! Jordie!” – They both heard. Jordie’s eyes widened as Pekka smirked devilish. – “Oh you will.” – Pekka answered.

He grabbed Jordie, revealing his teeth. – “Jordie, Jordie!” – Kaz kept calling out in search for his brother. Jordie groaned in pain when Pekka’s teeth sank into his neck. He felt Pekka suck the blood out of his veins as he wanted to scream. Pekka covered his mouth with his hand to deafen it out. He then retracted his teeth with a refreshing gasp. Jordie grabbed for his neck as the blood kept dripping out. Staining his hands with the dripping wetness. Pekka then bit his own wrist.

Blood dripped out as he brought a finger to his lips, disappearing before Jordie’s eyes. Jordie already feeling weakly blinked with a lot of effort. – “Jordie!” – Kaz cried out running up to his brother. He immediately saw the blood. – “What happened? Who did this?” – Kaz wanted to know. His brother collapsed as Kaz knelt down, pressing his hand down on the wound. – “Help! Help me!” – Kaz shouted out. His cries for help interrupted by a force pulling his head back. Jordie tried to warn him but it had no advance.

A blooded wrist got pushed against Kaz’s mouth. It was so sudden he swallowed some of it. Unable to not taste it on his tongue. Kaz was choking on it. He was released as he fell forwards, setting his hands. Spitting out the last of the blood out of his mouth, in vain as the blood had already been swallowed. The blood made Kaz dizzy. His heart pumping faster then ever. Looking at his hands they appeared like a vibrating image. Jordie coughed as it caught Kaz’s attention.

He saw the blood between his fingers as it made his veins pulsate. Appearing as if he was slowing down or time, it was all unclear. The blood made Kaz lick his lips eagerly. – “Ka…Kaz…” – Jordie breathed out hoarse feeling his life slip away. Kaz had no ears for it. Hearing Jordie’s heartbeat loud in his ears. A drumming that was fading out. The smell of blood was overwhelming to his senses.

He looked at his own hands having the desire to lick the blood off it. Something was going on with him, yet he didn’t know yet what. – “Kaz…” – Jordie begged with tears in his eyes. Kaz moved his trembling hand down to his brother’s head. He closed his eyes for what he was about to do. It had become to overwhelming. Begging to be stilled.

Jordie’s hand faltered. Kaz printed his teeth in Jordie’s neck, sucking his blood. It filled his mouth with taste. Jordie was punching Kaz on his back for the pain he was causing he. He was rough and brutal. Kaz’s had no power to break it off. He kept drinking till he bit hard enough giving the final strike to Jordie.

Jordie’s hands stopped punching as they slid off Kaz’s back. Kaz lifted up his head, blood dripping down his lips. His eyes met up with Jordie’s lifeless eyes. – “Jordie?” – he said soft. – “Jordie?” – he touched his cheek for a response but none came. Wiping his mouth and seeing the blood on his hands made him suddenly aware of what he did.

What monstrosity he had performed. – “Jordie!” – he called out taking his body in his arms. Overcome with disgust and guilt. – “Nooo!” – he screamed out, sobbing loud at the loss of his brother. His dearest brother.

Your pencil dropped to the ground in shock. Kaz moved in his position, bending down to pick up your pencil. He carefully laid it on the notebook on your lap, full with scribbled words. Page after page. He looked away not sure how repulsed or frightened you would be. – “He…he did this to you. Pekka did this to you out of pure sport!” – you outed getting frustrated with anger.

Kaz turned his head back with curiosity to you. This was not at all the reaction he had foreseen. – “I knew he was the devil in man’s clothing but this tightens the crown.” – you spoke. – “So am I Y/n.” – Kaz answered. – “No!” – you called out. – “No! You are not! He took advantage of you and set you to his hand. That is different. You didn’t choose this but… he… he did.” – you went on. Kaz curled up a faint smile admiring you. He knew he had come to the right writer.

A beam of light fell on your wrist, making you turn your head to the window. The first signs of daylight coming through. Kaz saw it as well, yet he remained in darkness. – “I will continue tonight. I don’t want to keep you from your sleep.” – he spoke. – “I don’t need sleep when you have a story to tell.” – you responded.

“You are an ambitious writer but please Y/n.” – he placed his hand on yours. – “Tonight.” – you nodded dozily at his words. Looking at the window again, you took a deep breath. – “Ton-“ – you started but stopped seeing you were all alone. So it went on. Each night Kaz appeared in your house telling you more of his story. You learned a great deal of his character as he did of yours.

Sometimes you would interrupt him again in your enthusiasm or writer’s curiosity. The more you did it, the more he accepted it. Finding in a way cute and unique to you. By the end of the month you had his entire story written down in a chaotic mess. All that lasted was writing it to it’s full glory. Kaz and you had no contact anymore as he had nothing more to say. He had given you his story.

Regardless of the absence he was close by. Not for you to see, but he was there. Each night you went out, he was there. Watching you from the dark corners or from rooftops. Unable to keep away from you. Having been with you so intense for a month stirred up feelings with him. Not wanting any harm to come to you. Someone would just have to dare go near you or Kaz would handle them for you without your knowledge. Close, but not close enough. Afraid to ruin your pure heart with his devilish heart.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[spencersfish]

Kaz Brekker Fic Recs

Heal His Heart by @webslinger-holland

Deathly Fever by @webslinger-holland

Right Where You Left Me by @sophierequests

A Deal is A Deal (part 1) by @sophierequests

Mission Successful (part 2) by @sophierequests

I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast by @sophierequests

Honeycakes and Sweetened Words by @sophierequests

I Can't Deny It Any Longer by @sophierequests

Touch by @writing-havoc

Flowers by @violetrainbow412-blog

Espionage by @undiscovered-horizon

Four Crow Investigation (part 1) by @undiscovered-horizon

Lovebirds Outfox (part 2) by @undiscovered-horizon

Weakness by @pretty-little-mind33

[moonstruck-poet]

His Love Language

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - This fic depicts Kaz and the subtle ways in which he shows his love.

Warnings - curse words, injury, wounds, blood, fight.

Kaz Brekker noticed everything. Whether it be someone cheating in a game of cards, enemies tailing him during his walk, or even his crows being unlike their usual selves.

Because he always paid more attention to what a person is doing than what they're saying. Talk may thrill, but action reveals.

He had an eye for taking in the details. It was both terrifying and beautiful.

Terrifying for his rivals of course. He knew exactly what to pull off and how to pull it off for them to go insane.

And beautiful for his love, his one and only. Him having such a knack for remembering the littlest of things helped him immensely in his relationship with you.

Not many people noticed it before, not even you yourself. But as time passed, you learned that his love language were actions. Not physical touches, words of affirmations, gifts and presents. No.

But it was all about those small acts showcased by him that made you fall deeper for the bastard of the barrel. Your heart now always took notice whenever he did the most mundane things for you. It immediately took up its pace and reminded you of the exact reason why it still kept on beating.

Your fellow crows took a hell of time to gather just how deep the love of Kaz Brekker was. But once they did, saints were they both shocked and ecstatic.

All of them had their own doubts when they came to know of your relationship. Nobody was a stranger to the fact that both of you were extremely closed off people. Not opening more than what was necessary, and in the case of Kaz, not opening up at all.

But one look at the way you two understood each other without even having to express, made them believe that you two would make each other happy.

===============================

Dirtyhands had struck another deal with a man named Arken Viking. The plan seemed quite simple, understandable even when it was explained.

And naturally everybody was feeling good knowing that they had a hundred percent chance of survival as it wasn't a difficult mission by any means. It just had a lot of steps that needed to be followed and so all seven of them were heavily involved.

Jesper, Wylan, Kaz and Matthias were waiting for the other girls to arrive. It was the final task of the day and they would then carry on again tomorrow.

Jesper was the one to pace around, unable to sit still in one place. He hated waiting more than anything else. Ask him to put up some money for a gamble? It would be done without wasting a second. Task him with shooting something impossibly far away? He'd have it completed before you could say shoot. But staying put in one place, he couldn't do it.

It was only for Wylan engaging with him that he even sat for ten minutes.

"Where did they go?" He grumbled and finally got up, stretching his legs and walking to stand near the two men who stared ahead, their expressions tight.

"They're late," Matthias muttered, trying his best to hide the worry he felt for a specific one but it was useless, all of them knew about his feelings but him.

"It'll be fine, they'll be here soon," Wylan said, standing next to Jesper and blushing very slightly when the tall boy leaned his shoulder against his and let out a sigh.

"You're sure that there's no danger right, Kaz?" Jesper asked and looked at his boss who didn't look away. His eyes firmly set on the road in front of them.

"Yes," he spoke, sure of himself. But there was this slight, very tiny nagging in the back of his mind that something had gone terribly wrong and he clenched his jaw.

But all of their worries dissipated at seeing the silhouette of three women walking towards them.

Matthias let out a sigh of relief once he saw Nina's bright face, him sending a quick prayer to Djel for looking over the three.

Kaz felt himself lighten instantly, his previously tensed posture relaxed as he saw you looking positively unscathed. His eyes found yours instantly and you sent him a smile, while quickly closing the distance between you two.

"You're late," was all he said, his eyes sweeping over everyone before landing on your figure which was leaning against the wall, right next to him.

"Let us live a little, Brekker," Nina rolled her eyes while Inej shook her head, though she too smirked.

"We were worried," Wylan was the one to speak that was on the tip of everybody's tongue.

"All of you?" She said with a raised eyebrow, looking pointedly at Kaz who merely glared at her sharply.

"Obviously!" Jesper exclaimed. "Now that you're all here, we can finally get some well deserved rest. Kaz let's take a room somewhere, yeah?"

"We can't," he said, turning his eyes away from you, rather unwillingly actually.

"What do you mean we can't?"

"Use your eyes, Jes," Inej said with a teasing smile. "Do you see any shops, hotels or anything nearby?"

"Then where the hell are we sleeping?" Nina said with a incredulous look. "I am not going to lie down in the middle of the street!"

Jesper too looked alarmed at the prospect and whipped his head around to stare at their leader.

"You think I'd let everyone sleep on the roads?"

"Can't put anything past you at this point," she grumbled and you laughed making Kaz give you a disbelieving expression.

"There's a warehouse ten minutes from here, we'll stay there for the night".

All of them groaned loudly at the thought of walking once again but soon started their small journey. And once they had reached the place, Jesper quite literally threw open the doors and scanned the area.

"Clean enough," he shrugged and laid the small blankets they had brought onto the floor. "Good night then," he waved lazily and Wylan followed his lead but not before gazing fondly at him for a few seconds.

"You failed to mention this in you plan, Kaz," Nina shot him a look and dragged her belongings to the corner of the room, accompanied by Inej and Matthias.

"Let's sleep, shall we?" You said softly and he nodded, taking off his coat while you arranged the sheets and removed your shoes, sighing at finally being able to rest.

He laid down himself, his body close to yours so your arms brushed a little. "You're okay, aren't you?"

"I'm all good," you turned your head to face him, taking in his features that you so loved. From his dark brown eyes that softened at your reply to his hands placed in front of him, the pale skin shining under the minimum lighting present.

He gave a curt nod and scanned your face once before closing his eyes, depriving himself of your addictive beauty.

"Night," you whispered and turned on your side, one hand under your head for support and the other lying in front. He didn't reply but instead reach ahead to brush his thumb against your forearm and interlocking your little fingers together.

You smiled, him being the last thought in your mind before sleep overtook you.

The rest of the night passed in peace before it was time for the sunrise. Naturally Kaz, Inej and Matthias were the first ones to wake. The rest were all sleeping soundly and soft breaths echoed in the room.

Kaz was looking over the layout of the building once again, making sure that everything would go on without any problems or worries when suddenly your knee brushed against his.

He stiffened at the contact for a second before turning around to see you pulling your legs up to your chest and curling into a ball. He immediately spotted the goosebumps that littered your arms and an unnoticeable shiver pass through you.

His eyes searched for a spare blanket somewhere but found none as all were used as mattresses for everybody to lay on. A small frown marked his lips as his mind raced and landed on a conclusion.

He took his coat that he had used as a pillow and dusted it before gently putting it over your body. Your curled figure made it easier and he adjusted it, making sure the warm jacket covered you completely.

You involuntarily grabbed the collar, your eyes still shut and cuddled into it.

While he felt himself ease up with satisfaction and he shot you one last look, unable to keep the fondness away from his gaze and returned to check the papers.

Matthias who had been watching the unspoken exchange felt his insides warming up at seeing the cold and distant demeanour of Kaz Brekker melting a little for you.

===============================

Predictably, the heist was successful and no one had expected anything less. In fact, it had gone a little more than satisfactory. They had no troubles waiting for them inside the building and no distractions outside too.

So to conclude, everybody was high on the fact that they had managed to pull it off with such stealth.

They were all given their paychecks when they returned back home.

"Saints," Jesper sighed and lovingly twirled the kruge in his fingers while Wylan unknown to anyone else but you shot tiny daggers at those pieces of money.

You hid your smirk, keeping the check in your pocket and walked over to your friend, "I understand, Wy," you patted his shoulder sympathetically while he became red.

"What do you understand?" He asked hurriedly and avoided eye contact.

"Oh come on," you chuckled. "I know about your not so little feelings. You fancy him, don't you?"

"No I don't," he mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe just a little," he added as an afterthought.

You just brought him in a comforting side hug, quite endeared by the boy and ruffled his already wild hair. "I hate to say it, but he's more oblivious than anyone".

"I know," he groaned in exasperation, resting his head on your shoulder as you were considerably taller than him.

"Planning to steal her from Brekker?" Nina's playful words broke their conversation making the others laugh.

"Who's stealing what from me?" The man himself entered, as usual being perfect in his timing of showing up at the most unnecessary of times.

Wylan immediately removed your arm from his shoulder but Kaz being himself obviously glimpsed it. His expression did not betray anything, it was carefully kept stoic and calm. But he couldn't fool you, there was a reason why he'd let you walk fearlessly into his locked up heart.

His eyes seemed sullen for just a fraction of second. He wasn't reacting on the joke, of course not. He was now used to the crows trying to make him jealous. But rather the thing that had made him feel lost, was touch.

His inability to provide you with every bit of himself was killing him inside. For heaven's sake he couldn't even bear to embrace you without feeling as though he were on the edge and one small step would make him fall deeper into the oceans.

He swallowed and averted his gaze making you stare at him even more, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

You got up from your place and went over to sit in a chair beside him, keeping the distance because you weren't sure if he was okay with the proximity or not. But then he himself shifted his chair, and your legs brushed making him pull away quickly.

"Kaz," you said worriedly, moving back a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied and you frowned. He knew very well that you could tell he was being untruthful.

He willed his mind to focus on you rather than his surroundings and took your hand in his, taking a deep breath despite the barrier of his glove.

But it wasn't enough, he felt the strange need to be even closer to you despite his brain screaming in denial. And for the second time in his life, he decided to go with his heart and looked you in the eyes, noticing your evident concern as you approached him cautiously.

He gave his surroundings a quick scan. It was only the seven of them and they were all minding their own business. He made a split decision and started taking the glove off of his right hand.

You didn't say anything, finally understanding that he needed your touch and you were more than happy to provide.

He stopped in his tracks after pulling it off, staring at his pale, vulnerable hand.

"It's okay," you whispered softly, fighting the urge to lean over yourself. "I'm here. It's just you and me. You can do this".

He looked unsure but slowly extended it towards you. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, he had, but it had been quite a long time ago.

He gently brushed his fingertips over your palm and relaxed when no waters rose. He nudged his little finger with yours and looked up to see you before locking them.

Your face held a small, adoring smile. It was so simple, yet so complex. You squeezed gently once and he returned it instantly making you laugh softly.

He felt strange in a good way, as if he had accomplished everything he wanted when he had only heard the sound of your laughter.

"Okay you two stop your gossiping, it's dinner time," Jesper broke the moment and was rewarded with a threatening glare. He just grinned in return when his eyes fell on a hand, Kaz's hand to be specific and his mouth hung open slightly.

"Never seen a hand before?" Kaz raised an eyebrow and swiftly pulled on the glove.

He looked away, his mind still trying to figure it out as he grabbed the plates.

You stood up from your seat much to Kaz's displeasure who shot a heartbroken look your way that you missed. But Jesper caught on as he was sitting right opposite.

He'd never thought that he would live to see the day when Dirtyhands would look sad like a lovesick puppy. He was debating with himself whether he even saw it happening because the look was gone in less than a second, replaced by his usual dark gaze.

But he was cut off from his thoughts when you smiled at him, keeping a plate of food on the table. "Enjoy".

"Yeah, 'course love".

All of them were now sitting at the table for the first time in months. They just never seemed to have a time fixed that would match everyone's schedule. And for most part, they were all lazy as well.

You were sitting at the corner of the table with Nina at the opposite side, her having every bit of your attention at the moment as she chatted away happily much to the disappointment of the man sitting to your right.

"The cake is great, Nina," Inej complimented her and she gave her a wink in return.

"It is nice," Matthias agreed making the said chef blush despite her smirk.

"Yeah I love it," Wylan smiled brightly.

"Oh damn," you winced as the spoon fell down with a loud clatter, breaking the conversation for a bit before it resumed again.

Inej watched you with amusement, laughing at your resigned expression when you bent down to retrieve it with a sigh. But then her eyes widened in surprise.

Kaz Brekker, the most ruthless man she'd ever met was maybe not that uncaring. She merely watched as his hand went to cover the sharp corner of the table as if it was an everyday occurence.

And you got up, putting the spoon away to take a new one when you stopped mid-action to see a gloved hand had been placed inches above your head that would have definitely rubbed against the edge.

At the moment all that existed for you was the person sitting right next to you. You stared at him blankly, planting holes on the side of his face.

He, sensing it turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows as though to ask, 'What?'

But you just shook your head and offered him a small smile and you swore you saw his lip twitch slightly.

===============================

"Ready Inej?" You asked, as softly as you could muster though you were shaking inside, knowing that you two only had one shot at this.

"All ready," she whisperer back and crouched down slightly, preparing to jump.

A gunshot was heard and the guard was successfully distracted by the sound giving Inej some time to slip in between the shadows and enter the room.

You had no choice than to shoot a bullet and now they were all alarmed which would make escaping very difficult.

Your eyes squinted in the darkness as you surveyed the room, hoping no one caught a glimpse of you and praying to whichever Saint there was for Inej to finish her job.

"Come on," you muttered to yourself, your legs shaking with anticipation as it had easily been ten minutes since she had disappeared. "Where the hell are you?"

Just then you spotted some movement going on further to your left and loaded your gun while also keeping one hand on the scabbard tied around your waist. Your footsteps were barely heard as they travelled softly on the wooden floor.

Someone had definitely seen you and were on a hunt, all you could do was make sure to stay hidden perfectly. The darkness was surely an ally but an enemy too.

A loud thud was the only warning you had before someone knocked the air out of your lungs making you skid backwards. You gasped, hands pressed to your chest while taking in deep breaths and moving away from the man, buying yourself time. It didn't feel like your ribs had broken but it hurt nonetheless.

You wracked your brain for a sign of another presence but it was only him. "Viking," you growled in anger after he stepped into the light. "I should've known".

He simply chuckled darkly, "You didn't though. Even Brekker failed. So I think I did my work to perfection, yeah?"

"Who else have you got?"

"No one!" He said, sounding strangely happy and you believed him to be a psychopath. "But the same can't be said for you, am I right?"

But you just shrugged, knowing if you spoke he'd be able to distinguish because of your voice. You should think about asking Kaz to teach you how he managed to always control his tone perfectly. But that would only be possible if you got out of here alive.

Not saying another word you charged, knowing using a gun would prove to be dangerous for you if he snatched it from you. Unfortunately, one of your downfalls was thag you didn't have much of a strong grip. And so you took two knifes and attacked him from both sides.

He took on a few cuts, some going deep and you were scarred too. A small one painted your cheekbone, one on the side of your neck and some on your arms.

You fought for quite a time, both being bloody with sweat dripping off your bodies. It was only when you pretended to hit him from your left and he fell for the basic trick, blocking your attack and in turn giving you easy access to wedge your knife straight into his abdomen. You shot him too for safety measures and double checking.

"Motherfucker," you heaved a sigh, wincing after feeling the burn of the cuts littering you and the stickiness of blood. "Fucking finally!" You exclaimed when your friend came into view, panting slightly and you knew she had gotten into a fight as well.

"Atleast we're matching," she said with a smile and pointed at the similar scars on your forearms.

"Yeah sure," you laughed and quickly moved out, not wanting to personally invite trouble.

The journey back the the Slat was a peaceful one, as it always was with Inej. You talked about Arken's betrayal, the documents she'd found and copied and some amounts of kruge that was just lying on the desk.

"Well despite everything, atleast we got it done," you grimaced slightly and opened the door, immediately walking over to the bar to get yourself a shot atleast. You needed the liquor desperately.

"Oh you're h- Saints!" Wylan sputtered, taking in the bloody sight when you turned. "You're drinking whiskey?!"

"Wy," you said, trying to explain before you faced his wrath. "I needed it".

"Like hell you did," he shook his head and called Nina so urgently that anyone would think you were dying.

"Don't- Wylan-" you cut yourself off after seeing his glare.

"Calm your potions, she's not dying" Nina Zenik said after one glance at your figure lounging in the chair.

"But she's injured!"

"Injury and death don't mean the same thing! And she looks alright to me except for a few cuts. Oh you and Inej have matching tattoos now," she said with a laugh.

"Jesper!" You summoned your gunslinger and he appeared right before you. "Take your man away or I'm going to actually die".

The boy got out of his haze of sering you all bruised and bloodied up before smirking a little and throwing a wink. He took hold of Wylan's arm and dragged his away.

"Matthias get me some bandages would you?" Nina asked as she healed the cuts and Matthias who had finished dressing Inej's arm walked over to you.

"Ouch woman!" You groaned and threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.

"It's the size of a paper cut! You don't shout this much when you have a literal bullet in your shoulder".

"They hurt more".

She rolled her eyes though a smile was present on her face as she cleaned the blood from your neck and healed the long cut there.

"Where's Kaz?" You asked, not wanting to admit that you had missed him and wanted to be in his presence.

"He's out somewhere, probably finding another deal," Matthias sighed and bandaged your palm.

After some time you were all healed though the scars were as clear as day. You didn't mind them at all because you were convinced they made you look even more terrifying and beautiful.

"You all okay?" You questioned Inej who was sharpening her collection of knives.

"I always am," she smiled and took your knife to sharpen making you give her a grateful look.

It was now almost past eleven at night and you were sitting on the bed in Kaz's room waiting for him. You wanted to see him, had longed for him after being away for almost an entire day.

And the Saints did answer your plea albeit a while later. You heard the familiar tap of his cane and heavy footsteps as he climbed the staircase and opened the door. His eyes sharp but relaxing upon seeing you.

"Mission went well?" He asked and took off his coat and hat while walking towards you and slumping down on the bed.

"Yes, though Arken's betrayal was a great bit of surprise," you said and sat up, unconsciously putting weight on your elbows and arms in doing so and hissing hissing angrily, clutching your sore muscles.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately but when you didn't answer, he got up to turn on the lights and saw your scrunched up face.

And one by one he took notice of the bruises that were turning black and blue, bandages being wrapped around your palm and bicep and a thin but prominent scar on your neck. He swallowed the unfamiliar restlessness, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and kill the man who had injured you so badly.

"You're hurt," he stated as though you weren't aware of it and closed the distance, sitting as close to you as possible. "You're hurt," he repeated, his eyes flicking from every part of you back to your eyes.

"I was, I'm okay now".

"Who?" He all but spat out, his insides burning with hatred.

"Arken. But I killed him, don't worry".

He eased a little and removed his gloves, cautiously reaching forward to hold your bandaged palm in both of his hands. His breath hitched at the coldness and you made a move to pull away but his grip tightened and he shook his head firmly.

Slowly but surely he relaxed again, feeling comfortable as he unknowingly cradled your hand with such gentleness that you closed your eyes. His fingers traced the edge of the white material, rubbing slow circles.

He suddenly looked up and your breath got caught in your throat at the sheer proximity between you two. You were so close that you could feel the air he heavily exhaled and a faint blush was quick to rise on your cheeks. His dark brown irises staring intently into yours with a flame of possessiveness.

His eyes dipped down to your lips before moving to the scar on your cheekbone and his eyebrows furrowed just a tiny bit. He raised his hand once again, he had only done it once before and the feeling was a huge rival to drowning.

His jaw tightened when the tip of his index finger touched your jaw as softly as a feather. Despite wanting to stay still, you couldn't help it and leaned into his hand, conveying the message that you needed more.

He understood and gritted his teeth, carefully sliding his palm upwards to cup your cheek. His chest expanded as he released the pent up frustration.

This feeling, it was a rival to heaven.

Now that he had touched your skin, he craved more. His thumb softly caressed the scar like it may disappear under his brush. The finger moved at a leisurely pace, soaking in the beautiful feeling for as long as he could hold on.

You couldn't bring yourself to talk after witnessing the tenderness that oozed from his touches and caresses. It was like nothing you had experienced before. The moment felt so precious and for good reason.

You smiled at him, your eyes displaying the immense love that your heart held only for him and also silently thanked him.

He noticed. Of course he did.

And he offered you a gorgeous smile of his own. His lips stretching though not too wide but it was perfect for you and you fell for him yet again.

You found home in his smile and he saw love in your eyes.

===============================

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Four Crows Investigation" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[vulgar language]

[Part 2 - Lovebirds' Outfox]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi

SUMMARY: After Nina makes a passing comment about Brekker’s heartbeat, three crows join her in an investigation to uncover the true nature of your relationship with Kaz.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.4k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

Sitting around the table, leaning forward in a secretive manner, the four Crows look nothing short of a conspiracy. Their appearance is in no way deceptive - that’s exactly the reason for their meeting. Nina looks between Jesper’s and Wylan’s shoulders, checking whether you and Kaz are in any way suspicious of their gathering. For now, you look a little too preoccupied with each other. Time for the final conference.

The Heartrender leans even further towards her friends, looking between them with a questioning gaze. She seems to be the most excited about this ‘secretive investigation’, as she called it a week ago, but that should not come as a surprise - all of this has been her idea from start to finish. The moment she noticed Kaz’s heartbeat significantly pick up when you showed up in a ball gown in an attempt to mix in with the immorally wealthy crowd at the banquet, Nina simply had to know more. Her friends, although reluctant at first, joined the scheme out of their own meddling.

“So, what did you manage to find out?” She’s trying to keep her voice quiet but the sheer excitement makes it difficult.

“I still don’t understand why we’re doing this,” Wylan stutters out while shaking his head gently. He may be part of a crime syndicate now but spying on his friends, and his boss, just seems too far.

“Because we care about them?” Jesper asks with fake worry in his voice. Then, a devious smile appears on his face. “And we’re morbidly curious.”

“Can’t we just ask them, then?”

“As if either of them is going to say something,” Inej grunts. Knowing both of you fairly well, she never expected a straightforward question to get anything outside of a snarky comment or a side-eye.

Nina impatiently taps her hand on the table. “Alright, who goes first?”

╚ Jesper’s Evidence  ╝

He knows Kaz is going to get angry the moment he walks through the door but, at the same time, Jesper’s kind of out of options. As much as he hates to admit it to himself and definitely will not do it aloud, he’s facing an impasse.

The moment he pushes the door open, your and Kaz’s eyes snap towards him. He makes a note of your shoulders - brushing against one another as you’re standing over scattered papers, a little too close for practicality or for the closeness to be accredited to accident. You’re definitely giving the impression that he walked in at an inconvenient moment.

But Jesper is good at bluffing, never giving away that he noticed the thought-provoking lack of space between you. “Carliogne won’t talk unless he sees the contract you signed with Bruglione,” he informs. “His reasoning is that we’re probably trying to fuck him over.”

Kaz stares at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. “We are,” he finally answers.

“Well, he doesn’t need to know that for now, does he?”

“It makes sense,” you speak up. Pondering, you nod to yourself. “If he sees the contract, he’ll become less cautious and playing him should be even easier. Just wait a second,” you wave your hand at Jesper, “I think I put it in the bottom drawer.”

The moment you crouch behind the desk, Jesper’s eyes catch movement - Kaz is covering the edge of the table over your head with his hand. Considering that he’s looking at papers in the opposite direction, he might not even be aware of this little habit. The gunslinger stifles a smile. Nina is going to love this.

Soon, you stand back up at the protective hand reaches to flip through a wad of documents as though nothing has happened. Extending your arm towards Jesper, you offer him the folded contract between your two fingers.

“Please, don’t get it stained.”

“Can’t make promises,” he says with a cheeky smile as he snatches the paper from you.

Jesper hears your groan right before he closes the door behind himself.

╚ Wylan’s Evidence  ╝

Wylan rarely got ‘field work’ aside from setting up explosives. The out-of-ordinary occasions were stake-outs, when he’d sit in one place for hours on end waiting for something to happen, having only Jesper’s company to pass the time - not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, that’s the only part that makes those ‘patrol duties’ bearable.

 Although he feels uneasy creepily watching, he’s supposed to wait for an agreed-on sign to carry out his part in the plan. And with Jesper gone to the bathroom, the responsibility of staying vigilant is his only. Sitting on the carriage bench, he has a good view of the street but most of his attention surrounds a certain table at a boulangerie near the junction. You and Kaz are doing a great job at looking common - just drinking coffee, chatting, completely run-of-the-mill people and definitely not hardened criminals ready to call their companions to action when their prey is in sight.

Wylan suddenly sits up, hardly believing the scene unfolding before his eyes: you offer Kaz your bagel and he just… bites it. No glares, no scowls, he just takes a bite and you continue the conversation. Maybe Nina was right and something is up.

The carriage shakes slightly as Jesper gets back on it. “What did I miss?” he asks in an upbeat voice.

╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝

It’s the middle of the night but Inej rarely works at other times. Only one thing stands between her and the comfort of her bed - Kaz. She’s well-aware that he’s still going to be working at this hour, making her wonder once more: when does he rest?

Kaz seems to be expecting her as he doesn’t even flinch when she barges into his office. He just looks up at her for a moment, only to return to writing something. Inej is about to tell him what Lorenzzo Carliogne had been up to during the day, when her eyes focus on a surprising singularity: the daybed standing in the corner of the office, used as an additional shelf or a desk most of the time, is occupied. First, she realizes that it’s you sleeping on it but then another, a much more interesting detail, catches her eye in the dim candlelight of the room - you’re covered with a coat that undoubtedly looks like it belongs to Kaz.

“I take it there’s a reason you’re here at this hour?” Brekker brings her attention back to himself.

“Yes,” she starts, sparing you one last glance before looking at Kaz, “Carliogne lives with his wife and three children. Staff comes in through a separate pair of doors, only the main chef and butler have keys to it. There’s a rotation in guards during lunch.”

“Good,” he answers. Kaz looks up at Inej but again, it’s just for a moment - his focus is soon directed at the papers in front of him.

A silence falls. The thought to inquire about you, the daybed and his coat passes her thoughts but an instinct dissuades her from doing so. Because realistically, what sort of answer would Kaz give her anyway? It’s better to spare herself the snark and just go to bed.

The four friends look between each other, curious whether all of them came to the same conclusion. Tense excitement hangs in the air. There is a certain aspect of juvenile nosyness that entices them, making this whole over-the-top operation fun and not just a gossip convention.

A pout twists Nina’s face. It would have looked sad if it wasn’t for her raised eyebrows, making her expression more compassionate than woeful. “They’re so in love it’s kind of embarrassing,” she announces.

Three pairs of eyes follow her pitiful gaze to the faraway table where you’re sitting with Kaz, oblivious to the interest the Crows have in you. It looks like you’re retelling him a story, gesturing wildly with one of your hands, while the other is kept on the table, underneath his gloved fingers. Kaz is just nodding along, answering something shortly from time to time. 

“Just look at them,” Jesper says with a sense of misguided pride as though he had some contribution in the makings of the couple. He’s shaking his head with amusement. “How could we ever had any doubts?”

“Do you think they know that we know?” Wylan asks quietly.

Inej shrugs. “I don’t think they care.”

[bi-bard]

Such Careful Words That We Can Barely Speak Out Loud - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Such Careful Words That We Can Barely Speak Out Loud

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader

Based On: The Sea of Atlas

Word Count: 804 words

Warning(s): brief mention of a shit family, Kaz is emotionally unavailable

Summary: The Crows return from their latest job. With Kaz back in Ketterdam, (Y/n) sees no better time for them to discuss what had happened before he left.

Author's Note: This took far too fucking long.

Part One of "June" [Release Date: 7/3/2023]

Part Two of "June" [Release Date: 7/5/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

-------------------------

I had no true way of knowing when the rest of the Crows were coming back.

I didn't think about that until after Kaz had run out of my home after kissing me. I could have gone days or weeks without getting to have a conversation about the moment between us. Or, worst case scenario, I never got to see him or the other Crows again because the job went completely wrong. And I would never know about it. I would just be left entirely alone with no answers.

I would never fully shake that feeling until there was a knock on my door.

For the third time, Kaz had found his way to my doorstep. Yet this time felt so incredibly different that it felt like the first time.

"Hi," I said. I had a million thoughts going through my head at the time, but that was all that I could get out at the time.

"Hi," he replied. I wondered if he was in the same place as me.

I stepped to the side and let him walk inside. I scanned my eyes along him as he passed. I was expecting more obvious bruises and wounds. They could possibly be hidden by his suit.

"The job went well," he explained without me asking. "Everyone is safe."

I nodded. "Good."

He said that for my sake. He knew my propensity for worrying excessively.

"Did you meet my family?"

"Briefly," he nodded. "When we first walked in, your uncle was greeting the guests. He made sure that he was well known."

I took a deep breath.

"I didn't make myself known," he added. "For your sake."

"What happened to vengeance in my honor?"

"I was prepared to kill him," Kaz confessed. "But I realized that such an act was for you to choose. I had no right to take that from you."

"I see."

"I did find something." he reached into his pocket. When he held out his hand again, there was a brooch sitting in his palm. "There was a room that didn't look like it had been changed in years. I assumed..."

I reached out and took the brooch. "It was my brother's."

"I thought that it would be sufficient for the time being."

I grinned. "Thank you."

He nodded his head once. "I should go-"

"I'd rather you didn't," I stopped him. "We... We need to talk about what happened, Kaz."

He inhaled sharply.

"I can't go back to what we were... I can't pretend that nothing happened."

His eyes left mine, but he made no move to leave at all. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to be able to hear whatever fear was going through his head. I wanted to know what he was worried about. Because I knew that my mind was riddled with those fears.

"I care about you," I continued, trying to ignore the terrified feeling filling my stomach. "Greatly. I have for a very long time. And I... I am terrified of how I feel about you. I just know that there is every possibility that I will go mad if I ignore it any longer.

"I don't know what you want or how you feel or if that kiss meant anything to you at all. I just... I need to know where we are now."

I glanced down and saw his hand adjust on the top of his cane.

I had spent the last few days thinking about this event. I thought of every single way that this could happen. I thought about what would happen if he ran away again, if he just never showed up, if he told me that he felt the same way as me. It had all played through my head. Some part of me thought that having that mental image would help me more in the long run. It didn't. I was still just as scared as I had been the day that he had stormed out.

I sat in that silence with Kaz until I felt my eyes burning and as if my lungs were struggling to take in air. "I'm sorry. You can go-"

"I do care for you," he cut me off. It was quiet, so full of fear that I could feel the weight sitting on his shoulders. "More than I can explain."

It was ten words. I had heard him say more about a job. And yet, it was easily the most vulnerable I had ever seen him.

I felt a grin forming on my lips. I didn't need anything more from him. That was enough for me. I was certain that we would find more words in time.

And I was right.

All that was needed was for us to be incredibly careful about which words we chose.

-------------------------

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What I Write For

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[neptune-scythe]

writing a fic

me: has a good idea of how the story is going to go and the general vibe and tone of it

also me: immediately looses all control over the story and watches it become 300% darker and more brutal in just the first sentence

me:

[secretlovezz]

-Kaz Brekker Masterlist-

Drabbles/Imagines:

You make Kaz nervous prt.1 prt.2

You give Kaz flowers

Ones-Shots:

Coming Soon! <3

Fanfic-Series:

Coming Soon! <3

[srslyblvck]

── KAZ BREKKER MASTERLIST

fractured bonds, kaz brekker

y/n is captured by pekka's men, kaz goes to rescue her.

ashes to ashes, kaz brekker

you lose your powers, in an accident. you distance yourself from the crows, so kaz comes to confront you.

art of letting go, kaz brekker

Kaz decides that the best way to protect you from the dangers of his world is to let you go.