#then i told myself 5/6 months.
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transgirltrish · 5 months ago
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despite everything, I want to message my ex. brain full of "I should text her."
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viskiaa · 18 days ago
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good omens fandom !!!! I have a WIP... recreating the Favorite Poet or wtv this painting is called but with ineffable husbands :3
however... crowley's face is PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF because it doesn't look right and I need to just start over I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW MEN AAUAHGHGHSUSHSH soooo
Should I 1. give up on this and do my 15 missing assignments so I don't fail school
or
2. finish it and be proud of myself until i feel sad that I didn't do this as an oil painting instead!!!!!! (I really just wanted to share my wip i need encouragement...)
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didnt-hear-idsb-live-again · 5 months ago
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shleemies · 9 months ago
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Just did a T shot for the first time in years!! I was so brave!!! Used a bluey bandaid too :-)
#i started t in 2017 but after a few weeks i started having an allergic reaction to the cottonseed oil used in it#started getting it compounded with a grapeseed oil suspension and it was fine! until 2019 i moved cities#the new compounding pharmacy would only fill a 6 month supply. id previously been getting 2 month supplies. it was way more expensive#but i was able to get the 6 month supply#2 or so weeks in. the vial fucking fell and shattered. T is majorly regulated and i wasnt allowed a refill for 5 and a half months#when i was able to get back on T i opted for the topical and was on it for years#it was great it worked great#a couple of months ago though my ocd got extremely bad and the contamination aspect of the topical just got to be too much to deal with#so i stopped T for that reason and another reason i wont go into. not important or transition related but i had my reasons#tried to convince myself to start the topical again but when i tried i just got way too anxious wbout the contamination still soooo#i found out theres silicone sleeves online you can get for vials to prevent breakage if they fall so i got an appt with the clinic#told them about all my concerns and stuff#tried to get the pellet implant first but they said i have to go somewhere else for that#may or may not follow up on that#but they were able to prescribe me the sesame oil suspended T and stuff so i cant do shots again#reason i did compounding before was the sesame suspension was more expensive for me at that point#but now its way cheaper for me than the compounded T#so ya this is the context for why i wasnt doing shots for years but now am doing them again#suprisingly enough i had a needle phobia before starting T#but it subsided pretty quickly for the most part when i started and the needle aspect of it all was never a factor for stopping injections#just the price and risk of losing months of T in an instant#i dont have my silicone sleeve for the vial yet but its in the mail. rn my T is safe and sound in a jjk pencil bag :)#tw needles#just in case#didnt expect to write so much in the tags lol
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haileys-out2 · 9 months ago
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I’ve been told to make this caption from one of my photos (yes this is me in the photo). I have no control over any of this, I’ve been told what tags to use and how long the post is to be pinned to the top of my page. 😥
The post is up for three months (until June 8) and I am scared about how long I’ll get!!
P-p-please be nice. I d-d-don’t want my life ruined!! 😭😭😭
Update. If this post hits 100 REBLOGS I have to get a larger plug and dildo.
Update 2. You are all mean (specially @count-alta with your 20-odd reblogs)😤😭😭 I now have to get a larger plug and dildo. If it gets to 300 REBLOGS then I have to make a Discord server to show that I am in fact wearing the cage and plug 😭😭😭😭 this is getting both out of control and expensive
Update 3. It hasn’t even been a week. 😢😢 I’ve been instructed to add note milestones. I’ve only been given a couple for now but more will be added if any of you suggest something my dominant likes.
Update 4. I’m back from a brief hiatus from Tumblr while I settled into a new job, and I discovered that this post really took off. I now have to make discord (coming soon) and I’ve been given a new Reblog MILESTONE. If this post reaches 500 Reblogs I will have to start HRT. If it hits 1000 Reblogs then I have to find a man to fuck me on camera 😭😭😭😭. Please be nice.
Update 5: whelp it’s done. My Discord server is live
1500 notes: I have to keep myself hairless from the nose down.
1700 notes: Make an Amazon Wishlist and add 100 toys and clothes for anyone to buy. Anyone who buys them will get a free show with what they bought
1800 notes: my hair must be grown out
2000 notes: I have to resume my BambiSleeps regimen
2500 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week
2750 notes: I now have listen to Bambi sleeps every morning, afternoon and night on my days off
3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min
3250 notes: I have to start using she/her pronouns
3500 notes: I have start wearing a bra everyday
3750 notes: Use a large plug now
4000 notes: I have to start an OF (ManyVids and webcamming as well once I find a better living arrangement)
4250: I have to film myself suck cock
4500 notes: i can only ever cum from anal
5000 notes: I can only wear androgynous clothing. Nothing overtly masculine
5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min
5400 notes: Listen to Bambisleep hypno every time I do anal
6000 notes: edge with a Hitachi magic wand for 30 once a week
6500 notes: start using a ball gag whenever I do anal
7100 notes: Once a week I have to film myself anal training and share it to the discord channel
8000 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min
8500 notes: I must listen to ALL hypno that is sent to me
9000 notes: The Hitachi edging session becomes twice a week
12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cock
13200 notes: Use an XL plug now
13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy
15000 notes: I have to get either bottom surgery or an orchiectomy
20000 notes: I have to be spit roasted
25000 notes: I have to be the center of a Blow Bang
32500 notes: I have to be the center of a Gangbang 😳😳😳
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redflagshipwriter · 5 months ago
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Check Yes Chapter 6
masterpost
“Have you experienced events that could be described as fatal?” Danny read from his notebook. Before Jason could answer he continued, “Do you know the name and species of all your progenitors? Have you ever wondered if you are-” 
Jason held a hand up to ask for silence. He was in the zone on a training module that Barbie had sent to the whole team. He was not going to get any more shit from fucking Tim and Stephanie about being an out of touch old man like Bruce who ran code directly from the 90s.
Danny cut himself off to wait. Without looking up, Jason could see some kind of bouncing movement that had to be Danny fidgeting. “You’re early,” Jason eventually said. He shut the program that he’d been running and then blinked his full attention over to his date. “It’s not- is it 5 already?” He blinked away the gumminess in his eyes and checked the time. 
Danny flushed a little green. His freckles glowed a little whiter in contrast. “No, it’s 4:30,” he admitted sheepishly. “I, uh, left work a little early.” He floated up and then abruptly over into a flip. Like an antsy mermaid. Jason leaned back and watched, fascinated by how easy movement looked on Danny. It was the way he’d used to see Dick, but now he knew how hard Dick’s easy mobility was earned.
“You don’t feel gravity at all, do you?” He confirmed, envious and charmed. 
“Uhh.. Can’t say that I do,” Danny admitted. He shrugged. “Not like this, anyway. I do in my human body, obviously.”
“Is that literally-” Jason cut himself off with a mortified flush. Holy shit. You can’t just ask someone if they have a magical transformation into their own corpse. Insensitive much?
Danny gave him a knowing look but gracefully ignored the question. “Anyway. Do you remember what I asked earlier?” He cocked his head to the side and full body wiggled. “I had Frostbite help me write them out. Undead health isn’t really my area, but he knows everything that’s ever been known, which is pretty cool.”
“Uh…” Jason thought back. “I told you when we were eating that I died once,” he reminded Danny with a raised eyebrow. “So that’s an easy yes.”
Danny shrugged helplessly. “I didn’t know how serious you were or if you were describing something extremely short term like needing afib or something longer term-”
“Dead, buried, in the ground for months,” Jason admitted. “Presumably rotted, but I came back to myself with living human physiology, if extremely damaged from what killed me.” It was really gross to think about. It was also impossible to totally avoid. There should have been no coming back from all the blood drying up and shit.
Danny stared at him with an open mouth for a few seconds. Long enough that Jason fidgeted, uncomfortable.
“That’s the most metal shit I’ve ever heard in my life,” Danny said reverentially. “That’s so nasty, man. You rotted? Does this make me more of a necrophiliac than you?”
Jason choked on his own spit.
Danny did another flip.
“My parents were definitely human,” Jason managed, voice strangled. Best to get this back on topic. “I know for sure. I’ve met them both.”
Danny blew a raspberry. “It’s not always obvious,” he pointed out 
“Anything that would show up on Batman’s DNA analysis can be ruled out,” Jason corrected himself. “And neither of them had any non-human capabilities. Died from things that a Tamaraean or Kryptonian would be able to get out of.” 
“...Oddly specific species mentions,” Danny said. A line formed between his brows. His toes touched down to earth and he crossed his arms. “You… I wasn’t thinking of that type of non-human.” He cleared his throat. “It’s just that, you touched Wolf.”
“And a Kryptonisn wouldn’t be able to?” Jason asked a bit dryly. He didn’t understand the logic.
“Not unless they were really juicy with death,” Danny said in a weirdly mellow tone for such a disgusting sentence.
Jason gagged a little. He couldn’t help it. Oh, christ. Yeah, bodies got wet and shit after a while, but characterizing that as juicy? That was out of line.
“Not like- not like that!” Danny fluttered his hands at Jason, torn between horror and cackling. “I don’t mean like, dead and rotting. I mean dead and reanimated with ectoplasm. Souped with the sweet nectar of the afterlife. Wolf is a ghost, man.” He snickered.
“Wolf is a ghost,” Jason repeated.
Danny frowned. “Wolf,” he said. “Not Wolf.”
“What?” They sounded the same.
“You’re saying it wrong,” Danny said, saying the name the exact same way that Jason had been. “It’s Wolf, not Wolf.”
Jason stared at him warily. “...Spell it for me.”
“W-U-L-F,”  Danny rattled.
Ah. Ok. Jason took that onboard. “Wulf is a ghost,” he said again. “And therefore I ought not be able to touch him. I can touch you.”
“Like this? For sure.” Danny went through his flashbang light-show and shook out his newly black hair. “I’m a physical being. In my ghost form, I can consciously let you touch me. But Wulf was actively in the Ghost Zone when you hit him. You put your hand into the Ghost Zone and smacked him. The living have ghostly properties in the Ghost Zone. He’s tangible there but you should have been intangible.”
“...Maybe I’m a ghost?” Jason posited, cocking his head slightly as he said it. Danny was the expert. “I never found any answer for why I just woke up in my grave one day.”
“You just woke up?” Danny repeated, delighted. He put his hands on his face, breathed into them heavily, and then ran both hands through his hair. “That’s sick. That’s fucking sick, man. Did you have to dig yourself out like a zombie?”
…Did Danny think this was like, hot, and not disturbing? “Tore off my fingernails on the coffin splinters,” Jason confirmed, fascinated with what a little freak this guy was. Danny’s pupil dilated at the words. Jason could almost have been offended because that shit was traumatic, but hey. 
If he really thought about it. It was sick as fuck.
“I think yes, by the way,” Jason decided. He waited for Danny to give him a questioning look  before he elaborated. “You’re a monsterfucker, my guy. I’m attracted to you, but not because you’re dead. Whereas you’re clearly into the fact that I’m a dead guy.” 
Danny opened his mouth. He shut it. He put a hand over his mouth. “Huh,” he said. “Huh.” His brow furrowed. “If I said it was scientific curiosity and that passion for death runs in my family- no, I hear it.” He flapped a hand at Jason to cut off the laugh he couldn’t stop. “Hush. Okay. Fine.” He stood up a little straighter. “I’m a necrophiliac and I’m proud.”
A window banged shut in the kitchen and there was a clatter as someone’s shitty little brother fell into the sink.
“...Hi, Duke!” Danny called.
Jason put his hand over his face.
“Hi, Danny!” Duke called back, voice choked. “Good to hear from you, man.”
“You can’t fucking be here!” Jason said between his fingers. “I have plans, you shitty Zebra mussel.”
Danny looked at him.
“...What?” Duke asked. He came into the room to frown at Jason.
Jason rolled his eyes. “New Zealand mud snail.” They still didn’t get it. “Spotted lantern fly.” 
Blank stares.
“Fucksake,” said Jason. “I’m calling you an invasive species.”
Danny laughed. Duke made a loud pffft sound and unlocked his phone. He held it up and showed them the screen. “Would the New Zealand zebra lantern fly have this?” He triumphantly brandished his phone screen, which was a screenshot of his chat with Jason where he’d confirmed that he had permission to come over.
“New Zealand zebra lantern fly,” Jason repeated, vexed as fuck. “You know damn well-”
“It checks out, boss,” Danny reported, leaning back from Duke’s phone. “Looks like he’s allowed in. Let ‘im use your TV while we go out.”
“Yeah, let me use your TV while you go on a date,” Duke echoed, clearly enjoying this a lot.
“...I’ll get my coat,” Jason said sullenly. “Don’t get too comfortable.”
“We’ll bring you back dinner,” Danny told Duke.
Jason stalked away into his bedroom, wondering when he’d lost the plot to his own life.
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7seas-of-ryy · 4 months ago
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I Need You | Part 9
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Author’s Note: I have a few fic ideas that would be set when the reader first gets to the Night Court. I also have more Azriel imagines planned that wouldn't be in this series so look out for those! Thank you so much for all of the comments and love on this story, I appreciate it more than you know! <33
Summary: After months of healing, there is still something weighing you down and Azriel wants nothing more than to help you.
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: bad body image, nudity but not straight up smut, let me know if I need to add any others :)
A few months had passed since everything happened and you were feeling better for the most part. Azriel had more than proved himself and you two were best friends again. You now trained with the Valkyries and enjoyed their company. You had also been helping Amren out with translating old texts a lot lately.
You enjoyed having work to do, you started to feel like your old self again. But there were still a few things that gnawed at you.
The main thing were the scars. The physical reminder of what you went through weighed you down. You covered yourself up as much as you could everyday so no one else saw them.
This seemed to be working for you until one day, Azriel came up to you with a big smirk on his face.
"I got you a present!" the still smirking male told you
"How many times do I have to tell you? Stop buying me presents!" you told him
You had never received so many presents in your life and you doubt he has ever given this many. It started out small like bringing you a coffee while you worked, then he would buy you little things here and there like a notebook for your research. Eventually, he was buying you more expensive things like jewelry every other day.
Every time you would tell him you didn't need anything, and every time he responded with the same thing - "I can't help myself, I saw it and thought of you"
The butterflies you would feel were always better than the gifts.
Amren was sitting beside you watching the interaction with a smirk on her face.
"Hmm? A chocolate croissant this morning and now another surprise? Two in one day? Seems like a new record." she spoke in a slightly joking tone, enjoying poking fun at the spymaster
You and Az made eye contact and quickly looked away, a slight blush taking over both of your faces.
After his confession all those months ago, you both began to try and be friends again. You knew he was waiting for you to be ready for more but you weren't sure how to go about it all. It was easier to push those thoughts away for now.
Deciding to help the shadowsinger escape all the joking, you stood up to go to him. He held his hand out to you, and led you up to your room. Before entering, he put his hands over your eyes, using them as a blind fold.
"Is this really necessary?" you giggled
"Of course it is! Now walk forward" he told you and you could hear the smile in his voice
You walked, well shuffled, into your room with him close behind you. He started a countdown.
"3...2...1...Open!" he shouted, removing his hands
On the wall in front of your bed was a brand new mirror. Dread filled your body. The thought of having to see yourself every time you changed made you want to vomit.
Azriel of course noticed the reaction and immediately began to worry.
"What's wrong? You don't like it? I knew it was stupid, Cass helped me pick it out and he has the worst taste." Az babbled on.
"No, I love it." You told him. If you let him know you didn't want it, then he would want to know the real reason. You couldn't explain it all to him right now.
He gave you a look that showed he didn't fully believe you but he decided to let it go.
You gave him a hug and thanked him for it. It truly was a beautiful mirror. It was huge and had the most detailed golden flowers all around it. Perhaps you could focus on that and not the nasty marks that littered your body.
Night time came faster than you would have liked and the thought of changing in front of the mirror seemed like too much. You knew you needed to do this, another step in the healing process.
Eventually you made your way up to your room and began to get ready for bed.
You started to peel off your clothes from the day, breathing through each piece that came off. Once you were fully naked you couldn't take your eyes off of your body.
How would anyone be able to find you beautiful when you looked like this? You wrapped your arms around your stomach as tears sprung to your eyes. You began to softly cry.
Suddenly, you saw movement in the mirror behind you. You lifted your head until you were making eye contact with Azriel through the mirror.
Shadows shot out to cover you, helping you keep your modesty.
"What's wrong, my love?" He asked
The name only made you shudder, knowing he wouldn't call you that after seeing your body.
"I'm hideous. My body doesn't even look like its mine anymore." you voice cracked
His heart broke for you, and he ached to hold you.
"Can I come closer?" He asked
You nodded and he walked until he was behind you, so close you could feel his chest as he took a breath.
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He stated and laid his hands on your shoulders, moving them down your arm until they rested on top of your hands. He laced his fingers with yours and kissed the back of your head.
"You haven't even truly seen me to know that." you said
"I don't need to see you to know that it is true. But if you think that, then show me." he stated
"What?" you couldn't believe your ears.
"If you're comfortable, let me see." he spoke confidently
You nodded and let him know it was ok to remove the shadows. He bent down and placed a light kiss on your shoulder, right on one of the marks, then on another right next to it.
Slowly the shadows pulled away from your body and you were left compeltely naked. He was staring at your body through the mirror, in awe of you.
He walked til he was standing in front of you.
"Just tell me to stop if you're uncomfortable." He whispered
You nodded and he got even closer. He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed a scar on your palm. Then moved to the other arm and kissed a scar by your elbow. He got down on his knees and looked up at you through his lashes.
"Beautiful" he said right before kissing a rather large scar on your stomach.
He didn't stop until he kissed every mark and scar on your body. He stood up and took your face in his hands.
"Yep, its just as I thought, you are the most beautiful being that I have ever seen." He spoke as he leaned down to your face
"But I'm broken, these scare are proof" you cried
"These scars are proof of your strength. When I look at you, I don't see anything broken. I see the the love of my life. I see intelligence, kindness, power... I see my mate." he confessed
You inhaled sharply and were confused until you felt it too. A tiny pull on your chest as if someone was tugging a string attached to you.
"You're my mate," he smiled then stopped himself, "I found out when Lucien carried you through the doors and none of us knew if you were even alive. I didn't want to tell you because of everything going on and I wanted to earn your love, didn't want you to feel pressured into anything."
You were so shocked, you still hadn't spoken. In a way, you were glad he kept it from you. If you had known he was your mate you aren't sure what you would've done. All of the trauma you went through must've stopped you from feeling it too.
"I understand if you don't want to accept it. After everything I did-" he started but you immediately shut down that thought
"You have more than proven yourself to me Az. You are my mate and there is nothing that could change that" You told him.
He growled softly when you called him your mate.
You both continued smiling at each other, wrapped in each other's arms.
"If you'll let me, I'd like to continue worshipping you for the rest of the night." he purred.
"It's only fair, you did say you loved groveling" you whispered and he smiled and leaned in.
"Wait!" you quickly said placing a hand on his chest.
He looked confused but you ran over to your bedside table and grabbed the chocolate croissant he had gotten you earlier. You handed it to Az with a smile.
"Are you absolutely certain this is what you want?" he questioned
"It is the only thing I have been certain of in a long time." you responded and he ate some of the pastry.
He set the food down and put one of his hands on your waist, the other on your neck. Slowly he leaned in and placed a soft and gentle kiss on your lips. You wrapped your hands in his hair and pulled him down for a much longer, more passionate one and he grunted into your mouth.
The frenzy quickly kicked in and Azriel ended up worshipping your body for the next couple of days.
You still weren't fully healed and you probably wouldn't be for a while but that was okay because you had Azriel and the rest of your family to help you get there.
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)
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thelonelyempath · 4 months ago
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Pregnancy Prompts
1. "Your boobs got bigger. What? I'm your boyfriend/husband. I'm allowed to stare at them."
2. "Well I peed on the stick and it told me I'm pregnant..."
3. "I hear so many women talk about pregnancy glow. I'm not glowing at all! I feel ugly and gross!"
4. "Yeah the dick was great, but was it really that worth it?"
5. "You've been doing nothing but throwing up and eating ice chips. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
6. "I can't remember the last time I was able to see my feet."
7. "Nothing in that closet fits me anymore!"
8. "I farted and it smelled like a mix of pickles and rotten eggs. Miracle of life, am I right?"
9. "I'm just scared I'm gonna make a bad mom/dad."
10. "You did say you wore a condom, right?"
11. "This little one's gonna have lots of aunties and uncles."
12. "If it's a boy, we should name him ____. If it's a girl, we should name her ____."
13. "So you're a little heavier than you were six months ago. Who cares? I still love you."
14. "I cannot be pregnant. I don't know how to interact with kids. I don't even know how to change a diaper!"
15. "Every single time I think I'm excited to have a baby, my brain, without fail, remembers things like blowouts and peeing a little every time you sneeze exist."
16. "This idiot showed up to my baby shower with a bottle of wine as a gift for me."
17. "I swear to god it feels like the baby is using my bladder as a stress ball."
18. "My boobs hurt, I can't stop crying, I'm horny all the time, and I'm sweating in places I didn't even know had sweat glands!"
19. "I guess we can say goodbye to restful sleep for a little bit."
20. "Was that a kick? It felt like a kick!"
21. "I can't tell if my water broke or I just peed myself."
22. "I'll be happy with a boy or a girl, just as long as it vaguely resembles me."
23. "Relax, you'll be a great mom/dad."
24. "Does this mean we have to get married?"
25. "I'm curious about the whole having-sex-to-try-and-induce-labor thing."
26. "Look at me. You're gonna be okay."
27. "I'm pretty much a good sneeze away from going into labor."
28. "These stretch marks are ugly."
29. "The baby likes when you sing to him/her."
30. "Any Junior name is off-limits."
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nimuetheseawitch · 2 months ago
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He traced patterns over Bradley's skin in the soft morning light. He kissed a constellation of freckles on his shoulder and his fingers wandered in the direction they always did. Spooning Bradley like this, it was so easy, so natural for his fingers to glide along the tattoo on his ribs. It was a beautiful piece of art, and Jake let his fingers travel slowly over the graceful figures of two geese in flight. He'd done it so many times before that he didn't expect anything except for Bradley to grumble at him softly on waking and grab his hand to pull him over for a kiss, but today, Bradley's hand just rested on his, arresting it's movement. Jake's breath caught, and he waited, listening to the changes in Bradley's breathing.
After a quiet eternity, Bradley breathed in deeply and started speaking softly.
"My mother had a tattoo like this."
Jake didn't interrupt, but he stilled entirely, afraid that if he moved, Bradley would startle and stop talking. He'd never said much about his mother besides that she had died, and Jake could tell this was important.
"It was on her left shoulder, behind her heart. Every time we went to the beach, she would ask me to put sunscreen on her back and she would tell me about him, about Goose, my father. She told me how he'd loved to fly, how he'd loved to laugh, how he'd loved to sing, how he'd loved us so, so much. Sometimes she'd smile at the stories she told me, and sometimes she'd cry, and sometimes she'd hold me tight until I whined for her to let me go play. It was her first tattoo, and she said that she liked that even though she couldn't see it, she always knew it was there."
Bradley paused, and Jake linked their fingers together over his tattoo, trying to silently give him support.
"She started tattooing when I was 5 or 6, I think. Said she liked meeting all sorts of people and learning what kinds of things they wanted on their bodies permanently. By the time I was a teenager, her arms were full of color, full of the art her friends did for her. She said she liked carrying the people she loved with her everywhere where people could see it." Bradley huffed a small laugh that could've been mistaken for a sob. "She got so angry when I let one of my friends give me a shitty poke tattoo when I was 15. She put all my allowance for months towards the cost of ink to do a proper cover up for me. That's the swallow on my wrist. When she was diagnosed with cancer--"
Jake couldn't help the small noise he made at that, and Bradley just squeezed his hand before continuing.
"When she was diagnosed, she told me she wanted her last tattoo to be one for me, and I asked her for a goose of my own. She gave me two, one for her and one for Dad. She said she'd always wanted to fly with him. It wasn't until after the funeral that I realized she'd put them where my hand always went when I hugged myself."
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lazarusemma · 1 year ago
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Nov 6 - Cas is
Nov 11 - He’s
Nov 18 - Sam says Mia says journaling helps. Sure.
Nov 19 - Should’ve been me.
Nov 20 - Sam, if you’re reading this thing, I’ll kick your ass.
Nov 21 - Spaghetti for dinner. Cas still dead. Journaling still stupid.
Nov 24 - I should’ve said
Nov 25 - Should’ve told him.
Nov 26, Thanksgiving - Not a whole lot of thanks around here. Thanks for dying in front of me, man. Thanks for saying all that. Thanks for disappearing again before I
Nov 30 - C not back.
Dec 5 - 1 month. C gone. J quiet. S annoying.
Dec 6 - Least Sam’s alive.
Dec 8 - [drawing of Castiel, half sketched]
Dec 10 - Not much of a friggin’ artist huh.
Dec 26 - No miracle.
Dec 31 - Gonna be another year without 
2021
Jan 1, New Year’s - Midnight alone. You should be here. You should
Jan 2 - I should’ve
Jan 5 - 2 months
Feb 5 - 3 months since I should’ve fucking kissed you.
Feb 28 - If this was a leap year man I bet you’d be back tomorrow you always did shit like that surprised the hell out of me.
Mar 1 - So it goes.
Mar 2 - S thought the library here had Vonnegut. Didn’t.
Mar 5 - 4 months Went to get a library card in town.
Mar 11 - “And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.”
Mar 30 - Sam might have a hunt for us. Don’t know if
Mar 31 - Turned it down. Passed it to Jody’s crew.
Apr 1, April Fool’s - Real funny C. Joke's over. Come back already.
Apr 9 - There’s things I can’t say things I’ve never been good at saying but you gotta know
Apr 29 - He didn’t know he didn’t know he didn’t know he didn’t
May 5 - You died not knowing, you asshole. 6 months and you’re not back so I can’t tell you.
May 6 - You missed Star Wars day, you know.
May 7 - Didn’t even Han you. Well I didn't know did I.
May 8 - Did I?
May 9 - Maybe I
May 26 - “How nice — to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.”
June 5 - 7
July 5 - 8
Aug 5 - 9
Aug 6 - What if you don’t
Aug 10 - You missed my birthday. S’s too. J’s.
Aug 11 - If you can hear me
Aug 12 - What would he even
Sept 5 - Nearly crashed the car today. S had to drive. Banged up my head leaning on the window in the backseat like a kid. 10
Sept 6 - Researching.
Sept 7 - Ain’t fair you missed a whole year. Gonna have a lot of catch up to play when
Sept 8 - …when we get you back.
Sept 18 - Been 12 years. You believe that, Cas? Since I came back. Since you brought me back. Guess I hoped today would be the magic bullet to getting you back. Like you’d tip your head at me and say Hello Dean. And I’d tell you how I raised you from perdition. Whatever. Just a day I guess. Universe doesn’t care it’s our anniversary
Sept 19 - Still gonna say it though. When it works.
Oct 5 - 11. It’s gonna work
Oct 31, Halloween - Never got to put you in a dumb matching costume. Next year though.
Nov 4 - Can’t sleep. Sam says time is powerful magic or some shit like that. Says an anniversary can have echoes. So we’re trying it tomorrow. God, this better work. Cas, you hear me? We’re coming for you. I’ve been praying all year and I’m hearing nothing back. I’ll tell you tomorrow. Gonna get this stuck mouth of mine to make good. It’s just the words, even on paper, they don’t—Tomorrow though, tomorrow I’m telling you everything. Promise.
Nov 5 - Today.
Nov 6 - !!! 🙂🙂🙂🙂
^ heh. check out this dork
811 notes · View notes
janeyseymour · 1 month ago
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She Didn't, But Melissa Did- part 2
Save Me Before I Lose Myself- Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9.
She Didn't, But Melissa Did- Part 1.
Summary: Melissa has always shown up for you, from the start, in ways Millie knows Carrie could never.
WC: ~3k
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——
For as much as Melissa did wonders with my momma, that’s only the beginning. What Carrie didn’t do for me, Melissa did that and so much more.
——
“I didn’t do much for you, kid,” the redhead looks to your daughter with a look. “You’re giving me too much credit.”
“You haven’t even started reading,” Millie points out. “Stop talking and just read.”
“When did you get so bossy?” Melissa rolls her eyes playfully.
“Being a mother to a hard headed four year old will do that to you,” your daughter quips.
——
Growing up and adjusting to this new life was an easy transition. I had already lived with Melissa for a months at this point, and that was like a whole lifetime at my young age. The woman that would eventually become my step-mother, and then my mother, showed up for me in the biggest ways, but also in the smallest ways- ways I didn’t even realize she could.  A few months into my momma being with Melissa, Momma signed me up for gymnastics class for the first time. I was beyond nervous. But Momma assured me that it would all be fine- it would be good for me. Melissa showed up to the first practice, running into the gymnasium viewing room, after a meeting at her job. My eyes lit up as soon as I saw the red ponytail make its way in. She didn’t have to be there for me, but she was.  Carrie wouldn’t have shown up to my first gymnastics class. She probably wouldn’t have even known Momma signed me up until the money came out of the account despite my mother definitely telling her about it. And because Carrie would have only seen the money come out, she would’ve flipped. But Melissa did. Melissa came to every class from that day on. She bought me more leotards and scrunchies than a girl could need. Melissa showed up to every showcase, every meet- cheering me and my teammates on with the same levels of enthusiasm as any other parent. Thinking back on it, it was probably more than what the other parents did- I could pick her voice out among the crowd every time. My Melly was always the loudest one there, cheering as loudly as she could. Carrie would’ve never, but Melissa did. No matter what I did, my Melly was always there. 
——
“I’m here!” Melissa came sprinting into the gym. “I’m here!”
“Hun, you didn’t have to rush here,” you chuckled as she settled in next to you, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. It was clear she had pretty much run here. “Mill would’ve told you all about it when we got home.”
“And miss her first gymnastics practice?” Melissa scoffed. “Over my dead body, Y/N.”
Millie caught side of the red hair, and her eyes lit up. The slightly nervous body language turned into the bright little girl that you were used to seeing. Her wave was enthusiastic as ever.
When the practice was over, Millie came running out. When you had expected her to come running into your arms with giggles, showing off the stamps on her hands that her teacher had given her, she went right to Melissa- practically tackling her.
“You came!” your daughter squealed.
Melissa hugged your daughter with the same enthusiasm. “Of course I did, Mill! Did you really think I would miss this?”
It was Millie’s first meet- the first time she would ever stand in front of a judge and do her routines. Melissa and you were sitting in the stands as you watched her warm up. Your heart was racing, but you tried to appear calm. The redhead was decked out in team gear and taking pictures of almost every move your little girl was making.
“Mel,” you chuckled softly.
“What?!” Your girlfriend scoffed. “If you think I’m not taking pictures and videos through this whole thing, you’re fuckin’ crazy.”
“Melissa,” you scolded her quietly. “We are at a children’s gymnastics competition. Watch your mouth please. I don’t want to get kicked out of the first one.”
“If you think I’m not taking pictures and videos through this whole thing, you’re freakin’ crazy. Better?”
“I’ll take what I can get,” you rolled your eyes as you pecked her cheek.
You were a nervous wreck any time that your daughter was on any of the apparatuses. Melissa was all grins, and she was so proud to announce that Millie was her girlfriend’s daughter whenever she’s finished. Millie ended up winning, standing on the top platform of the podium with medals around her neck, a trophy in her hand, and a dazzling smile on her face. She made eye contact with you, and then with Melissa. 
When your daughter was finally allowed to make her way over to you, she came barreling into your arms. It was warm, and it was perfect. And then she was in your girlfriend’s arms, and Melissa told her how proud she was of her- how she was a great athlete, but more importantly she was a great sport to her teammates and the other competitors.
“You should be so proud of yourself,” Melissa had whispered to your little girl, doting a few kisses to the top of her head.
“I am,” Millie replied. “But I’m hungry. Can we go home?”
“Yeah, baby,” you chuckled. “Why don’t we grab some food on the way back?”
Your little girl shrugged. “I’d rather have Melly’s cooking.”
For the rest of your daughter’s gymnastics career, it became tradition for the three of you to go home and enjoy some of the redhead’s cooking.
——
“Those were… I do not miss almost having a heart attack every competition,” you chuckle softly. 
“You’re so dramatic, Momma,” Millie tells you. “I was perfectly fine. Never even got hurt.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you protest. “You just wait ’til Hadley starts doing more than cartwheels and forward rolls, and then come talk to me.”
“Would you quit talking?” your wife groans. “I wanna keep reading about how great I am,” she adds in a singsong voice.
You roll your eyes, but you lean into her touch again and begin to read the next page. 
——
When I was ten, I was hellbent on getting a pet. Carrie never fathomed the idea of having a pet in our house, but Melissa was open to it because I wanted one. She didn’t necessarily want one, claimed that she would be the one to have to take care of it in the end.  Momma wasn’t too keen on the idea either. Still, on a day where Melly and I had off school and Momma was at work, Melissa took me down to the pet store. We left hand in hand giggling about the fact that we had just bought a guinea pig that we both absolutely fell in love with. Momma wasn’t too happy to see that we had gone behind her back and adopted an animal without talking to her first, but when she saw how excited we were, she couldn’t resist.  Melissa and I adored Sweet Cheeks (yes, that was my guinea pig’s name). We spent hours building him a hut from popsicle sticks, laughing until we were red in the face when I accidentally glued my fingers together. We used to practice my reading with him. Having him in either one of our arms at any given time was the usual.  Carrie would’ve never. She would’ve called that thing a rat- would’ve insisted that we get rid of it had Momma and I brought Sweet Cheeks into the house. But Melissa did.
——
“We had that thing for years,” you mumble. “I swear, the two of you were more excited to see Sweet Cheeks than you were me.”
“Could you blame us?” Millie giggles as she leans over her daughter to kiss your cheek.
You gasp, affronted. “Amelia!”
“Had’s the same way with our dog,” Noah promises you. “Don’t take it personally.”
——
When I was eleven, my momma and Melissa got engaged. She even asked me, a silly little eleven year old, for my blessing. And while we had planned how she would propose, Melly blew it the night we got the ring at dinner. Still, it was the perfect proposal.
——
“Millie!” Melissa knocked on your daughter’s bedroom door gently as she pushed it open. “Can we talk?”
“Am I in trouble?”
“No,” the redhead chuckled. “Why do you always think you’re in trouble when you don’t do nothin’ wrong?”
Millie shrugged. “What’s up?”
“I have a serious question for you,” Melissa sighed as she sat on the bed. “You know… your momma and I have been dating for a little bit now.”
“Yeah?”
“And I was wondering… if you wouldn’t mind if I asked her to marry me?”
Millie’s froze for a few seconds before all but launching herself at your girlfriend. “Really?”
“Really,” Melissa smiled. “I- I love your momma, and I love you, and I- I think it’s time we make it official.”
“Ask her. Do it. She’ll say yes.”
It was a week later that Melissa took Millie out for a girls day over the weekend. You were not invited- they were ring shopping.
Three stores and eight thousand dollars later, your girlfriend and daughter came home from their day out. You were settled in on the couch, a book in your hands.
Upon hearing the front door open, you closed your book and prepared for Millie to come flying in. She did exactly that, tackling you in a hug.
“Did you two have a good girls day?” you chuckled.
Melissa nodded as she made her way over to you, leaning down to kiss you softly. “Kid had the time of her life at the arcade.” A lie, but you fell for it- the redhead would take your daughter to an arcade.
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Well, I’m going to start dinner,” Melissa told you. “I hope you’ll join me.”
The three of you made dinner together in the same warmth that you always did- always light, always full of laughter and joy.
But then you sat for your meal, and the redhead began to squirm in her seat. The thought of not being engaged to you was driving her crazy, and the ring box felt like it was burning a hole in her pocket.
“You okay?” you furrowed your brows, concerned for your girlfriend.
The redhead bit her lip, mumbled a soft apology to your daughter, and then dropped to one knee right then and there.
“Melissa, what are you doing?” you gasped, not quite catching on yet. “Did you just- are you okay?”
The teacher pulled the ring box out of her pocket, opened it, and took a deep breath. “Y/N, I was gonna wait to do this at dinner tomorrow with Barb and Ger here, but I- I can’t wait.”
“Melissa,” you whispered, and your eyes began to cloud with tears.
“Y/N,” your girlfriend started. “I am so… deeply in love with you, in love with the family we forged, in love with the life we live. I don’t ever want to lose it, you, or Millie. Will you marry me?”
——
“I still can’t believe you couldn’t hold out one more day,” Millie quips. “I mean, how hard would it have been to wait another twenty four hours?”
“Hey,” your son in-law interjects. “I was the same way with proposing to you, and you loved it.”
“Because that’s us… this is my parents we’re talking about.”
“We never did anythin’ conventional; why would our proposal have been?” your wife teases.
——
When I was twelve, they got married. I still never thought I would call Melissa ‘Mom’. She would just always be my Melly. When I was also twelve, Melly asked me if she could adopt me as her own. As a child who grew up with a mother who hadn’t ever wanted her, to know that someone loved you so much to want to be able to claim you as their own… it’s an overwhelming feeling. I of course accepted her proposition, but I also made her very aware of the fact that I would probably never call her ‘Mom’. I thought that maybe with my insistence that I would never call her mom, despite the legal title she would now hold, she would turn on me. She never did. She was still Melly- always there for me in any way she could be.
——
“I can’t believe you ever thought I would turn on you,” Melissa nudges your daughter. “As if I hadn’t already thought of you as my daughter and had for years at that point.”
“I was twelve, Ma,” Millie reminds your wife. “I was vulnerable.”
——
When I was a freshman in high school, Melly was there for me. For God’s sake, she put together my bouquet. Momma helped, but Melly really outdid herself. And when we all were lining up for pictures at the house, there was Melly, front and center, acting like the paparazzi. Carrie would've never let my friends step foot into our house. But Melissa did- she encouraged them to come over because she knew it would make me happy. When I was fifteen, she caught me sneaking back into the house. She was absolutely furious- and she should’ve been. But where my biological mother, had she still been in my life, probably would’ve whooped my stupid ass, Melly pulled me into a tight hug, looked up to the ceiling, and thanked God that I was safe. When I was sixteen, I had my first heartbreak. Carrie would’ve told me I was lucky to have love in the first place- that I was an unlovable, spoiled brat. She told Momma that nobody would ever love her except her, because Momma was a broken woman. And Momma, for as wonderful as she is, had a hard time dealing with it. It absolutely shattered her soul to see me so broken. Momma did what she could to be there for me, but ultimately, I knew this was an issue I would go to Melly over- seeing my momma so upset was heartbreaking for me. But Melissa, she was there for me. She laid in bed with me, held me while I cried, watched terrible romance movies with me, had Ben and Jerry’s lining the freezer. That was the first time I ever called her by a title other than ‘Melissa’ or ‘Melly’. In that moment, she was ‘Ma’- a title that would become her own.
——
“Mill,” Melissa whispered upon seeing your daughter with red, swollen eyes and curled up in a mess of blankets.
“I’m fine, Melly,” Millie grumbled, not bothering to look at her mother.
Your wife just gave her a pointed look. “Mills, it’s just me. Momma is… sitting outside on the porch right now.”
The blonde bit her lip and finally glanced over to the redhead. “I- I can’t believe he cheated on me.”
“Kiddo, you just say the word, and I’ll have my-”
“I don’t need your cousin beating up my ex.”
“Then what do you need?”
Millie sighed a heavy sigh. “To be told that this sucks, and to cry. Maybe ice cream.”
“Oh sweetheart, I’m way ahead of you. Should I get Sweet Cheeks to sit with us?” Melissa offered as she turned towards the hall.
“Yeah.”
The teacher just gave a sad smile before heading out to where you were sitting on the front porch.
“Hey,” you say quietly. “How’s Mill?”
“I’m gonna be in with her and Sweet Cheeks for a while,” Melissa relayed. “You gonna be okay on your own for tonight?”
You glanced up and looked into those green eyes you had grown so fond of. “Yeah.”
“Okay, honey. I believe you.” She made her way further out onto the porch, just enough to cup your cheek gently in her hand. She pressed a sweet kiss to your lips before wiping away a tear with the pad of her thumb. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whispered. “Thank you for being there for Mill when I can’t.”
The redhead gave you a knowing nod. “She understands this is hard for you- especially with the cheating and your past.”
Then, she was off to the kitchen, grabbing a pint of ice cream and two spoons before heading for the beloved pet of the family and back to your daughter.
Hours later, Sweet Cheeks having been put back in his cage after the first movie, Millie and Melissa sat together in silence as yet another movie droned on.
“Thank you,” Millie whispered softly as she tightened her hold on your wife.
The teacher just dropped a kiss to her forehead. “You know I’m always here for you, Mills.”
“I know,” your daughter breathed out quietly as she rested her head on Melissa’s shoulder. “Thanks. I love you, Ma.”
——
“You know, you callin’ me ‘Ma’ for the first time? It was the best moment of my life.” Melissa’s eyes go soft. “I wish it had been a better circumstance, but… wow.”
“That was the best moment of your life?” you raise a brow. “Not, you know… marrying me?”
“Babe, you know being called ‘Ma’ was the best feeling for me.”
“You know if you never married me, you would never have been given that title in the first place,” you point out, pushing her hand off your leg.
Your wife just shrugs, a twinkle in her eye.
“Melissa Ann,” you pretend to scold gently.
“I love you,” she promises you as she pulls you in for a gentle kiss. Then she turns her head in the direction of the kitchen. “I gotta check on the chili. Give me five minutes, but then I’m sure there’s more than this?”
Millie just chuckles and pulls more papers from her bag. “Go, Ma. It’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Your wife pulls Hadley from your lap and settles her on her hip before heading into the kitchen.
All you can do is look at your daughter with a proud smile.
“Mill, this is… fantastic writing. One of my favorite pieces that you’ve done.”
“Ma deserves to know that she’s somethin’ special.”
——
TAGS:  (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights  @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson
151 notes · View notes
pillowspace · 9 months ago
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The Magnus Archives Fic Rec List
Press the read more for recommended fanfiction of The Magnus Archives! Never heard The Magnus Archives and are interested?
Current number of fics: 85
last updated March 18th, 2024
These are all works that I have personally read at least a couple thousand words of and enjoyed myself, so this list will reflect my own reading habits
If you are the author of a fic, you can request your work be removed from the list. Everyone should be comfortable
Table of Contents - 1. England Jonmartin-centric, 2. Scottish Safehouse Period, 3. Gen or Background Pairings, 4. Time Travel, 5. Highly Alternate, 6. Gerrymichael, 7. Other, 8. Updates (note: some categories tend to overlap. Only one will be prioritized)
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England Jonmartin-Centric
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Full, Riotous Bloom by BigTed
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Statement of Martin Blackwood, regarding…” Jon looks at him. Looks at him. The look of a boss whose employee was late three times last week, the look of a man who was just busy doing something really important and now he’s here, doing this instead. “...why he stole a grieving family’s oven gloves.”
-
Martin has a run in with a deadly Leitner, leaving him choking on his unrequited love.
M | Words: 66,962 | Chapters: 13/13
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fell in your opinion when i fell in love with you by Athina_Blaine
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“This is the Magnus Institute, not a creative writing course at university. If that doesn’t agree with him, he can leave.” There was a thud and the sound of rifling tapes. “He can take his bloody tea with him.”
Martin’s fingers tightened on the saucer. Oh.
-
Martin knows better than to talk about it. It's fine. He's fine.
Part 1 of it's only when i hit the ground it causes all the grief
M | Words: 18,987 | Chapters: 2/2
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Just a Little Bit Pet-tea by arthureameslove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin makes Jon tea for the first time about a week into his transfer. It’s horrible. Gag-reflex inducing. Somehow sporting all the wrong flavors.
For some reason, he does not have the heart to break this to Martin.
Little does Jon know that Martin actually makes wonderful tea. Just not for him.
G | Words: 13,335 | Chapters: 3/3
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Misshapes, Mistakes, Monsters by ZaliaChimera
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The Archives are his and stepping away from them, even for a night… it’s strange. Like he’s pretending to be someone else.
Like he’s pretending to be human.
Jon and Martin attend Jon's Oxford University Reunion.
T | Words: 7,969 | Chapters: 1/1
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Say You Love Me (Learn to Lie) by iamcringebutiamfree
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
It shouldn’t have been surprising to learn that Martin hated him. He had been, he knew, a truly terrible boss - he’d treated Martin horribly, caused him to lose his home, nearly gotten him killed. Really, it had been ridiculous to ever think that Martin wouldn’t hate him.
Still, Jon had been trying, in his own way, to make it up to him. There wasn’t exactly a card at the drugstore that said, “I’m sorry I berated you for six months and caused you to nearly be eaten by a swarm of worms of potentially supernatural origin,” but he’d been trying. He brought Martin breakfast every morning, made sure the breakroom cabinets were stocked with his favorite blends of tea, and had tried to work some genuine praise into his feedback of Martin’s work. None of it was the direct apology that his conscience told him he really ought to give, but Martin had appreciated it. Or seemed to, anyway.
Jon wasn’t certain what motivated the decision he made next - whether it was guilt or spite or something else. He could, he knew, be quite petty when the situation called for it. Either way, he made up his mind then and there to prove Martin wrong. He was going to be the best fake boyfriend he could be.
A Fake Dating AU!
T | Words: 37,889 | Chapters: 10/10
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a consideration of tropes by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Do you know much about cataloguing?” Jon asks, a little out of breath from the stairs.
Martin, mid-trolley, rolls his eyes. The gesture he makes at the shelves around him is only emphasised by the book he’s holding.
“What exactly do you think I do here, other than sit around and wait for angry patrons to yell at me?”
“Think of what you’re going to yell back?” Jon says, and Martin’s mouth twitches into a smile.
-
Asking the very important question: what if Jon and Martin had a gentle archives/library romance, and kept running into tropes? What if there was mutual pining involved? Only one bed? Fake dating? Hurt/comfort? Or perhaps, a soft and happy ending?
T | Words: 40,966 | Chapters: 8/8
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It Serenely Disdains to Destroy Us by trill_gutterbug
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin gnaws his lower lip. “Do you think he’ll - I mean, do you think it’ll be…”
Melanie's smile becomes a little less of a grimace. She claps his shoulder. “Martin. It’ll be fine. It’s only temporary. He’s not moving in.”
Martin chuckles. “Yes. Of course.”
-
Jon's flat is being fumigated. He is not impressed. Martin offers his spare bedroom.
T | Words: 13,048 | Chapters: 1/1
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terror management theory by prismatical
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Melanie King & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Georgie Barker/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist (briefly)
“It’s a preexisting condition,” Jon explains, sipping more bitter tea. “I sort of got—hm. You know Spiderman?”
Tim raises an eyebrow.
“Heard of him, yeah.”
Jon nods, studying his tea.
“It’s sort of like that,” he says. “A spider killed and ate me when I was a child, and now I can’t stay dead.”
-
Resurrection isn't all it's cracked up to be.
T | Words: 36,587 | Chapters: 1/1
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Clutching Daffodils by Gemi
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight.
It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs.
He always liked the idea of it.
And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.
NR | Words: 7,624 | Chapters: 1/1
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a little love, a little sympathy by Did
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
And then Jon is snarling into his face, demanding what are you hiding with a strange, bright-eyed intensity Martin has never seen from him before, and Martin thinks god, maybe he should just come clean about his CV, Jon thinking he's a fraud can't be any worse than Jon thinking he's a murderer-
Martin opens his mouth to speak. To his absolute horror, what actually comes out is: "I used to pretend to cry because I liked how nice you were to me when you thought I was upset!"
G | Words: 3,308 | Chapters: 1/1
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all resistance wearing thin by DivineProjectZero
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin Blackwood would do anything for Jonathan Sims. The Web made him that way, after all.
T | Words: 4,799 | Chapters: 1/1
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Sam nie pojmuję, jak w twe zajdę progi by Mad_Maudlin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin's been acting odd since Jon came back. Well, odder than usual.
T | Words: 3,118 | Chapters: 1/1
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Mundanity by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Inspired by @ themlet's post on Tumblr: Jon has to deal with normal human interactions. Martin helps (sort of). Featuring high school reunions, knitted sweaters, and conversations on the bus ride home.
T | Words: 3,097 | Chapters: 1/1
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Musical Mechanism by Darblesify
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin has always used music to cope. One day he's playing music music out loud in the archive and Tim and Sasha realize the main singer's voice sounds familiar.
AKA Martin's favorite band might happen to be the one Jon was secretly a part of in college.
T | Words: 21,411 | Chapters: 8/8
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Misfiled and Misinformed by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Jon and Martin are married. Tim and Sasha know this. What they don't know is that it's to each other.
T | Words: 2,507 | Chapters: 1/1
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look no further by inkyindigo
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin just wants to keep Jon safe. Sometimes the easiest way to do that is to bodily remove him from harm's way.
or, a collection of times Martin picks Jon up.
T | Words: 15,145 | Chapters: 8/8
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Touch Me, Even if it Hurts by AuralQueer
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner
People don't really touch Jonathan Sims unless they want to hurt him. That's mostly fine. Jon has never been a tactile person, and he doesn't need anyone but himself.
Except the world is falling down around him, and loneliness aches, and sometimes he'll take anything - even cruelty - just to feel human again.
*A story set between s1 and s4, looking at Jon's relationship with touch, friendship, and his own humanity.
T | Words: 6,540 | Chapters: 1/1
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I'll bring the motion by callmearcturus
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
A long series of kidnappings and international flights leaves its own special mark on someone. Before the Unknowing, Jon is a mess.
Martin helps.
(based on this amazing art by linecrosser)
T | Words: 3,127 | Chapters: 1/1
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thanks for the company by lukeskqwalker
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin had been baffled by how easily he spilled his guts out to this odd stranger. Now, Martin is more baffled by the baggy My Chemical Romance t-shirt he's wearing, paired with tasteful plaid pajama bottoms.
Or, Martin gets a visitor in his dreams. Reliving the same 14 days of loneliness every night isn't as bad when you have company.
T | Words: 4,314 | Chapters: 1/1
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stranger, stranger by blueskiddoo
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Sure,” Georgie says, still laughing at him. At least someone is having fun. “Don’t you have assistants for that kind of thing?”
“Yes, but…” He huffs, scratching the back of his neck. “I wasn’t going to ask one of them to download an app called...Lover? Lov-rrr? I don’t know how you say it.” He flaps his hands dismissively. “There are--unions and such. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
*
jon makes a fake account on a dating app to investigate a statement. tim sets martin up with fake account on a dating app to boost his self-confidence. it goes exactly how you might expect.
G | Words: 36,771 | Chapters: 11/11
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i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Have you got anywhere to stay?” Jon asks him, briskly. “Friends, acquaintances, maybe, who you could stay with…?”
Martin flushes, deeply. “I, I mean— n-no, not really,” he stammers, and then goes even redder. “Or, just, y’know not that I’d want to, to. Put in the middle of this. Put in danger of, of worms.”
“Ah,” Jon says, “No, of course, that makes sense.” Why drag anyone else into this mess? Seven people died during Prentiss’s initial hospitalization; the collateral damage of roping someone from outside the Institute into her orbit doesn’t bare thinking about. “In that case…” Jon feels like there’s some alternative solution, one he’s just not thinking of at the moment, but it evades him, and Martin needs somewhere safe to stay. “My couch is quite comfortable. You’re welcome to come and stay with me until you figure something else out.”
Martin is held hostage by Jane Prentiss for two weeks, and can't go back to his flat. Jon offers him a place to stay until Prentiss and her worms can be dealt with, and they can be sure he's safe.
T | Words: 65,951 | Chapters: 19/19
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true kinda love by Did
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
So. Martin isn't expecting anything to happen. But then, one day, something...does happen. It happens when Martin is passing Jon in the hall, and stops to ask how he’s doing, because Jon always looks a little bit like hell these days, and it makes Martin feel like he has to do something, and useless small talk is pretty much all he can do, so that’s what he does. And instead of grunting or shrugging or mumbling something dismissive, Jon replies, with perfect, involuntary clarity, "Every part of me aches, and I would just about kill to have someone rub my shoulders right now."
There's a positively deafening silence as they both come to grips with this unprecedented turn of events. Then they both start talking at once.
"Ah," says Jon.
"Wow," says Martin, at the same time.
G | Words: 5,053 | Chapters: 1/1
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hey stranger by ennuijpg
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker
It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?
(Based on this post about alt jon on tumblr because it's all I've been thinking about of late.)
T | Words: 2,701 | Chapters: 1/1
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Sun-kissed by Rauchendes_GNU
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alice "Daisy" Tonner
Martin doesn’t have any freckles. Jon has watched him and the others for a while now, and he knows that everyone has freckles. Tim is absolutely covered in them, and he seems to get more and more every day as Sasha seems very determined to kiss every part of Tim that is not yet covered in tiny dark spots.
Everyone has been loved by someone at some point. Everyone has been kissed, no matter if a platonic peck on the cheek or a heated kiss on the mouth. Everyone but Martin, it seems.
Or: Jon realises Martin has never been kissed. He rectifies that right away.
T | Words: 3,407 | Chapters: 1/1
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skin deep by isthepartyover
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims
“Hello, Martin Blackwood speaking.”
“Oh thank god-” a woman’s voice answered, rushed and panicked, and Martin immediately closes the folder he was leafing through absent-mindedly and snaps his head towards the door. “Sorry, oh god, I’m Georgie, I’m Jon’s friend, I don’t know what to do-”
(au where georgie calls martin post burn)
M | Words: 3,125 | Chapters: 1/1
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Take Care of You (And I'll Take Care of Me) by Mad_Maudlin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
When Martin Blackwood met the new research assistant, his heart skipped a beat. Too bad Jonathan Sims seems to hate him.
(A soulmates AU)
M | Words: 20,386 | Chapters: 6/6
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Somebody That I Used to Know by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner (background), Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker
(Minor) SPOILERS FOR MAG 161!!!
Jon gets replaced by the Not!Them. Life goes on.
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T | Words: 6,358 | Chapters: 1/1
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a six-step process by bluejayblueskies
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin stands next to him on the train. His hand rests just beneath Jon’s where it grips one of the metal poles, and Martin takes care not to brush against him despite how crowded the car is. Jon considered telling Martin, when they first got on the tube, that it was okay—that his touch would be… well, it wouldn’t be bad. Not like Nikola's. But he’d stayed silent, allowing Martin to cultivate a careful space between them. They’ve been silent for the past twenty minutes as they’ve passed by station after station on their way to Martin’s flat in Brixton.
Jon adds 24 hours onto his mental countdown of the time he has left until he’s allowed to break down and tells himself that he can manage. It’s… important to have goals, he thinks. He splits this one into steps.
Step one: get to Martin’s flat without crying.
Part 2 of touch prompts
T | Words: 2,138 | Chapters: 1/1
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who's there? by bubonickitten
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Jon has a panic attack after Elias shows him exactly what happened behind the door after Mr. Spider took its victim.
Martin helps him calm down, and Jon tells him the story of his first Leitner.
Part 2 of thresholds
T | Words: 6,139 | Chapters: 1/1
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Clothes Have No Gender by kristsune
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Jon wears a skirt to the Institute for the first time, and gets reactions he hadn't expected.
NR | Words: 1,846 | Chapters: 1/1
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northwest 6 to gale 8. rain. poor, occasionally good. by chewsdaychillin
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
A voicemail made up of a female robot and Jon’s professional work tone tells him to leave a message, but Martin hangs up before the beep. He’s not even sure he can speak, let alone put this into words.
‘Hi Jon, sorry to call at four fifty-two AM. My mum just died and I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Call me back when you can! Love you, bye!’
AUish where Jon is alive when Martin's mum passes away, helps him grieve and heal (and they maybe admit to being in love)
Part 1 of northwest 6 to gale 8
M | Words: 35,828 | Chapters: 9/9
Scottish Safehouse Period
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Resigned, Though Not to Fate by inkfingers_mcgee
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“You’re really suggesting this,” Martin says, voice pulled thin.
“Yes.” No hesitation.
“You would- actually do it?”
“I would.”
“With me.”
“Yes, Martin.”
“Why?” Because love is blind, says something cliché and cruel in the pit of his gut. Christ, he never was much of a poet, was he?
Or,
When Jon asks Martin to Quit the Archives with him, Martin says yes. Things don't go as planned. In the Scottish Highlands, they hurt, and they heal.
(Re-written as of 22-12-27; see chapter 9 for more info.)
T | Words: 145,748 | Chapters: 9/9
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nor any more youth or age than there is now by Ravenesta
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The local Primary school has a new teacher. He is, to say the very least, odd.
A series of statements regarding the interactions of the townsfolk with one Jonathan Sims, never formally given.
T | Words: 6,512 | Chapters: 1/1
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There's a 15th Fear, and it's Teenagers by captloverboy
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Georgie Barker & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Melanie King & Jonathan Sims, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Basira Hussain, Basira Hussain & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Helen | The Distortion & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Helen | The Distortion & Basira Hussain, Helen | The Distortion & Martin Blackwood
What if Jonah didn't ruin everything? Didn't send the end of everything statement? What do Jon and Martin do now? Get a job, I guess. A teaching job, for Jon, though it was hardly his first pick. But sometimes your boyfriend looks *really* excited when he suggests it, and I mean, you know literally everything. It can't be that bad, right? Right?
T | Words: 26,140 | Chapters: 14/14
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the Teacher from the Magnus Archives by Athina_Blaine
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel. My name is Maggie Abernathy and today we will be continuing our investigation of the, uh, eldritch monster slash English teacher who calls itself Jonathan Sims.”
-
Maggie is determined to catch Mr. Sims via her channel, and then everyone would see how cool and smart she was, right?
T | Words: 5,993 | Chapters: 1/1
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Please Don't Tease Me Like You Did Before by bazemayonnaise
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin is grinning at his phone when Jon comes home. This is not an unusual occurrence, but Jon can sense that the particularly smug smile being levelled at him means that whatever is entertaining the man has something to do with Jon.
“Yes?” he asks once he has dumped the day at the door. “What have I done now?”
Part 1 of Jon and Martin teach at a Scottish Catholic School
G | Words: 5,380 | Chapters: 1/1
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beloved of jon by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Oh,” says Jon, numbly. “You don’t. Remember? Um. It’s complicated. What… what do you remember?”
Martin seems to shrink in on himself a little. It hurts to watch, especially after how Jon’s seen him so painstakingly grow back into his openness over the past few weeks.
“I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t – I don’t.”
“But you remember me?” says Jon, and he tries to keep as much feeling out of that question as he can.
---
For no reason that Jon can tell, Martin forgets.
T | Words: 12,739 | Chapters: 1/1
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every good intention (is interpretation) by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
They’re standing entirely too close to each other in front of the hotel desk when the clerk asks them whether they’d like a double, twin, or two singles, and Martin absolutely bottles it.
‘Uh,’ he says, at exactly the same time as Jon says, ‘Oh.’
———
There’s a conversation that Martin and Jon need to have after the Lonely. Unfortunately, they are - historically - fairly terrible at putting stuff into words.
G | Words: 11,227 | Chapters: 1/1
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These words that make a home in my chest by arthureameslove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
The moment Martin leaves the Lonely is the moment he realizes that it has taken something from him. He is left with the realization that the Lonely fog had been the only thing keeping him whole, keeping him from feeling the aching hollows of his own sorrow.
Speaking makes it worse, so he doesn't. He almost expects Jon to leave, to grow tired of him, incomplete as he is. But Jon doesn't.
Or, Martin is mute after leaving the Lonely, and he and Jon learn how to be people again, together, in the comfort of the Scottish Highlands.
T | Words: 16,060 | Chapters: 7/7
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hello my old heart by firebirdsuite
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.
Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.
T | Words: 15,864 | Chapters: 1/1
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i’m almost me again, you’re almost you by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
After a second Jon steps in towards him, close enough that Martin flinches, but all Jon does is put two fingers under his chin with his free hand and raise it until Martin can’t duck away. Jon has never touched him so casually before – at least, not until today, and it raises a lot of thoughts and feelings that Martin is trying very hard not to process.
Much like a lot of other things that have happened, he thinks. Not that it’s horrible or terrifying or numbing like everything else has been: it’s just another thing on the list of things he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with.
---
In the wake of the Lonely, there's a lot that Martin doesn't really want to think about.
G | Words: 12,928 | Chapters: 1/1
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Prenons-nous la main by luftballons99
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.
or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.
T | Words: 6,027 | Chapters: 1/1
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Diary by luftballons99
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.
or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.
Part 1 of showing your hand
T | Words: 5,178 | Chapters: 1/1
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the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees
M | Words: 4,662 | Chapters: 1/1
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ready to call this love by yewgrove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
How is Martin supposed to tell Jon that he panicked, stupidly, when the lovely old lady down the village asked him what they were doing in this part of the world? Got the shopping! Oh, by the way, we're married now! Whole village thinks we're on our honeymoon, hope you don't mind!
Part 1 of it is what you have.
G | Words: 5,650 | Chapters: 1/1
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Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? by pantsoflobster
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Jon,” Martin said. “I have made a grave mistake.”
Jon whipped his head up, nearly tossing the elastic from his messy bun. “What? What’s wrong? What--what did you do?”
“I... might have invited guests for dinner.”
Jon stared blankly. “What, here?”
“Seeing as this is where we live at the moment, yes.”
---
In which a week in the safehouse turns into a fake-married sitcom, because they deserve to worry about social ineptitude instead of the apocalypse for a minute
Part 1 of this is not the house that pain built
T | Words: 5,391 | Chapters: 1/1
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Bergamot, Buckskin, and Lace by Qpenguin98
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Jon's never been a touchy person.
T | Words: 3,061 | Chapters: 1/1
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be kind, i beg you by gauras
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Fine,” Jon says, and he tries to ignore the sulky tone of his voice, “fine. What do you suggest?”
Martin pauses, like he’d not expected Jon to give in so easily. Jon’s never been particularly agreeable, but he still feels vaguely offended by the blatant surprise. “W-we,” Martin stammers, clears his throat, continues on much more confidently, “we go in together.”
Or: it takes close quarters and a full 24 hours to finally get them on the same page.
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T | Words: 14,946 | Chapters: 1/1
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tides turning by gauras
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
There's more than one way to say I love you.
T | Words: 20,858 | Chapters: 1/1
Other Scottish Safehouse Period fics: see unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic in Other
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Gen or Background Pairings
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a deeply annoying child by ajkal2
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, blink-and-you-miss-it Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, BUT NO SLASH WHILE ANYONE IS A CHILD
Jon is hiding under the desk.
----
There's a child in the Archives, who shouldn't be there.
G | Words: 9,631 | Chapters: 1/1
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Head in the Lion's Mouth by renwhit
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Danny Stoker & Tim Stoker, Danny Stoker & Jonathan Sims, Basira Hussain & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Danny Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Past Tim Stoker/Sasha James, Danny Stoker & Helen Richardson, Danny Stoker & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Danny Stoker & Melanie King, Basira Hussain & Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain & Danny Stoker
He fell into a deep bow, smiling the whole while. “I’m the ringmaster, of course.”
“Is that skin— Is it yours?” Old wood groaned as the Archivist shifted his weight. “Originally.”
“It is!” the ringmaster said as he swooped back upright. “Nikola decided I wore it well, so she let me keep it. Why do you ask?”
The Archivist gave him another once-over. “You just… you look familiar. Like someone I know.”
On relearning, reconnecting, and redefining.
Part 1 of Come What May
M | Words: 157,202 | Chapters: 17/17
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reach inside (to find your heart is beating) by ivelostmyspectacles
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker
This is Tim, opening the door enough for his tired, careworn face to peer through the crack; Jon sees the genuine horror on his face as he takes in his boss, bloody on his doorstep, and he thinks– maybe– he thinks he might be safe here.
“Christ.”
Chapter two added January 17th!
T | Words: 5,774 | Chapters: 2/2
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Fractals Upon Fractals by cedarbranch
No Archive Warnings Apply, Michael & Helen Richardson
“There was never meant to be two of us,” said Helen.
Or: Michael and Helen play a game of chess, and work out what it means exist in duplicate.
G | Words: 1,652 | Chapters: 1/1
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Other gen fics: see Time is Hard by Serazimei in Time Travel
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Time Travel
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Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, x2!, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking.
The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him.
"I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
--------
Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.
T | Words: 53,319 | Chapters: 12/12
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Déjà Vu by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Sasha remembers being unmade.
Tim remembers being Unknown.
Jon and Martin remember being unwound.
All of them think they're the only one.
--------
The S1 crew wakes up in the past with memories up till the moment they died.
T | Words: 37,652 | Chapters: 4/4
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Reflection by LazuliQuetzal
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Emma
Jonathan Sims, researcher at the Magnus Institute, is seeing a ghost. Of himself.
Of course, it’s not really him, no matter what secrets it knows, or how many arguments it brings up. So if it tells him to do something?
Obviously, he’ll be doing the exact opposite.
(AKA: Jon is an idiot, past and future, but somewhere along the way it all cancels out.)
(Expect general spoilers for S4 and specifically, MAG 158.)
T | Words: 51,527 | Chapters: 10/10
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Time is Hard by Serazimei
No Archive Warnings Apply, Michael | The Distortion & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Elias Bouchard & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Michael Shelley & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Michael "Mike" Crew & Michael Shelley
The Eye isn't happy with how the end of the world turned out. Neither are Jonah and Jon. There is no other option but to rewind time and go down a different path. But time is hard for The Spiral and The Web likes to meddle.
This is how Jon finds himself back in his eight year old body with all his memories, some of his powers intact and a strange bracelet around his right wrist. Saving the world, Jon realizes soon enough, is much harder when no one takes you seriously.
Part 1 of Diverging Times
M | Words: 170,443 | Chapters: 60/60
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The Cube Rule of Food Identification by bluejayblueskies
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin stands abruptly. His chair spins away from him, wheels squeaking on the cheap lino floor. The tension between him and Jon has reached never-before-seen levels. Tim could probably cut it with a knife. Or a particularly sharp spoon.
Then, Jon lurches forward and half-clambers atop the desk and kisses Martin, and Tim drops his sandwich.
.
Or, season one Jon and Martin receive memories from the future mid-argument, and Tim and Sasha receive emotional whiplash.
T | Words: 1,630 | Chapters: 1/1
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a map of what matters most by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Is that a body,” Tim blurts before he can stop himself, rising to his feet. Martin looks, if possible, even more scared.
“He’s alive!” he hisses, almost defensively. “It’s not - it’s not Gertrude again, I didn’t kill him, he just – I don’t know what happened to him, I just found him in the stacks like this.”
“And you dragged him up here?” Tim says, and then registers several things at once – the build, the hair texture; the little round scars peppering a pair of thin hands and an awfully familiar face. “Wait, is that Jon?”
----
Jon stumbles back into an earlier Archive, looking for a way to fix the world. (Or, mom says it's my turn for the obligatory time travel au)
T | Words: 20,604 | Chapters: 6/6
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leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) by OllieoftheBeholder
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker
“So...you’re from the future. In the past. Why?”
“You want the short answer or the long one?”
“Short,” Martin says after a moment’s deliberation. “Until I decide if I trust you.”
The other nods, as if he expected that answer—which, well, if he really is Martin from the future, he probably did. “To stop the world from ending.”
They have one last chance to fix this - one last chance to prevent the Eyepocalypse, to save the world - to save their world. It all hinges on which is the greater force: greed...or love.
Part 1 of leaves 'verse
T | Words: 299,536 | Chapters: 60/60
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Highly Alternate
Alternate universes will remain in the other categories, but this category is for alterations that are especially notable in their severity. This will also include any fics where Jon has an important alignment with a different fear entity, whether that be instead of the Eye or in tandem
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The Witch's Cat by Champagne
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“That’s the Witch’s cat,” Tim says, and grins at Martin. “Jonathan Sims, the town’s Witch, said that he’ll marry anyone that manages to get the key from the cat’s collar.”
G | Words: 12,584 | Chapters: 1/1
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What Belongs to the Sea by TwoDrunkenCelestials, WhyNotFly
No Archive Warnings Apply, Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“My grandmother taught me about selkies,” said the tattooed man. “Said it’s good luck for them to grace your ship. To treat ‘em right, and they’ll guide you safe.”
It had seemed like a reasonable thing to believe.
M | Words: 126,367 | Chapters: 36/36
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school's out for the summer by kiaronna
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Various Background Relationships, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
The thing is, Jonathan Sims is someone you’d call the police on if you saw him hanging around a school, those frazzled clothes and bags under his eyes, the frantic muttering and thousand-year stare.
Yet there he sits, headteacher of The Magnus Institute for Gifted Young Minds.
The name’s a bit misleading, it is. They’re in a bad part of town. The parents are either terrible or absent, and the kids—
“They’re monsters,” his new and handsome coworker grins, when Martin’s signature on his contract is barely dry. “Absolute monsters. Get too close and you’ll lose some fingers. Or maybe your mind.”
“They’re babies,” is all Martin can feebly manage, in reply, and Tim’s eyes narrow at the fondness in his voice.
“You’ll learn.”
T | Words: 26,088 | Chapters: 2/2
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See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan Sims & Simon Fairchild, Jonathan Sims & Michael "Mike" Crew, Jonathan Sims & Gerard Keay, Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims/Oliver Banks
When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.
T | Words: 59,336 | Chapters: 7/7
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rituals by doomcountry
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.
T | Words: 8,492 | Chapters: 1/1
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ships passing in the night by Zykaben
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Tim meets and befriends the new professor on the staff, Jonathan Sim. Tim has also been casual friends with Martin Blackwood for the past year.
It takes an embarrassing amount of time for Tim to realize that the two of them are married to each other.
T | Words: 5,027 | Chapters: 1/1
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all the flowers of all the tomorrows by ivelostmyspectacles
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker & Martin Blackwood & Jonathan Sims
Martin owns a flower shop.
He starts crushing on the guy from the Magnus Institute, but why does Jon keep needing so many flowers for workplace deaths, anyway??
T | Words: 13,745 | Chapters: 1/1
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The Good Ol' Days by SingingInTheRaiin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
When Jon moves in with his grandmother he becomes fast (if somewhat reluctant) friends with one of the neighborhood kids, a boy named Martin.
Years later, they find each other again at the Magnus Institute, and whatever mysteries they uncover there, they will solve them together.
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T | Words: 107,489 | Chapters: 40/40
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How Particular, My Fondness of You by cedarbranch
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Jon risks a glance over to Georgie, expecting sympathy, or perhaps a grave expression of solidarity. Instead, he’s met with a fond smile. “Oh, Jon,” she says patiently, reaching over to rub his back. “You poor thing. You’re lovesick.”
Jon recoils. “I am not,” he says accusingly.
-
A college AU in which the whole gang works at the library, Jon is emotionally repressed, and the anonymous Facebook page knows all.
Part 2 of Magnolia Verse
T | Words: 29,263 | Chapters: 1/1
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because light reverses, because the dead return by 1248, Tiili97
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
"Very well then, officer, take me away. And Martin?"
"Yes, Elias?"
Elias opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again with a shake of his head.
"Actually, never mind. I will see how it plays out."
Martin let out an annoyed sigh as Elias left. Always so goddamn cryptic.
Hopefully Jon and the others would be back soon to make sense of things.
-
Here's a hypothetical question: What would happen if no one noticed that Jonathan Sims survived the Unknowing?
What if they looked at his stopped heart and still lungs and decided he was dead?
What happens when you bury an Archivist?
T | Words: 9,491 | Chapters: 5/5
Gerrymichael
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Echo Chamber by orphan_account
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
“Look, if you’re another, uh, avatar of a horrible eldritch demon god come to assassinate me in a spooky manner, could you get it over with quickly? I haven’t eaten all morning and I’m starving.”
The thing that calls itself Michael stares.
“And this sandwich cost most of my weekly salary,” Gerry adds after a belated moment.
Part 1 of Spirals and Eyes
T | Words: 21,439 | Chapters: 1/1
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Break Me Like A Pattern by TheLibraryBat
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay & Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gertrude Robinson & Michael Shelley
The year is 2011. Michael Shelley is living his life in circles, blissfully unaware of the betrayal that awaits him in the summer. Gertrude Robinson has plans to enact and plans to destroy. Emma Harvey is hiding a book in the dark place at the back of a cupboard.
When Gerard Keay walks into the Magnus Institute - two years sooner than he was meant to - everything changes.
This is an (eventual) Archivist Michael AU, exploring how certain events might have played out, had one key player been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Part 1 of Archivist Michael AU
M | Words: 215,290 | Chapters: 40/40
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Choke Chain by dramatispersonae
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/The Distortion
Things Gertrude Robinson possesses: decades of experience killing, containing, and otherwise thwarting supernatural beings, an uncompromising drive to destroy the Rituals and the people who would see them completed, Gerry's loyalty. Things Gertrude Robinson apparently also possesses: a monster on a magic leash.
NR | Words: 14,814 | Chapters: 1/1
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Make Me Feel Like I'm Lost by dramatispersonae
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/MichaelGerard Keay/The Distortion
Gerry meets a door that is not a door. And a person that is not a person. Remarkably, he does not get eaten. He would probably like to keep it that way. (Or, in the process of trying to avoid death by nightmare hallway, Gerard Keay accidentally charms the nightmare hallway)
Part 1 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 11,963 | Chapters: 1/1
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Fill The Gap Between You And I by dramatispersonae
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Michael, like a cat, expresses affection with gifts of dead things. Gerry's trying not to be in the business of collecting strays.
Part 2 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 7,377 | Chapters: 1/1
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The Life Of Letting Go by dramatispersonae
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Gerry suffers a workplace injury. Michael has concerns.
Part 3 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 3,235 | Chapters: 1/1
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Fever Dreaming by dramatispersonae
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Gerry encounters a plot by a nascent avatar of the Corruption. It should be straightforward enough to deal with, especially considering his apparently ongoing... "alliance" with Michael. But when have things in his life actually been as simple as they appear?
Part 4 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 42,284 | Chapters: 5/5
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Please Don’t Eat the Flowers by Sloane
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion, Razor/Wendy, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Instead of retiring to open a book shop, Gerry ends up working at a flower shop run by American lesbians in London. This leads to a brush with the Distortion, who just wants to buy some lilies, the Magnus Institute finding out he’s still alive, and... well, a normal life was never really in the cards for the likes of Gerard Keay, was it?
Oh, and those lesbians who run the flower shop? There’s more to them than meets the eye—bad Beholding pun intended.
(No knowledge of Maniac Mansion required; I take lots of liberties to slot it into TMA’s universe. UNDER MAJOR REVISIONS. Please see last chapter if you’re a new/returning reader for details..)
M | Words: 77,314 | Chapters: 33/?
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Ode to Joy: or, michael distortion's guide to naming yourself by fromthepinnacletothepit
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
Michael Shelley is sacrificed to the Spiral before he has the chance to come out, even to himself. Now, as an avatar of the Spiral, his identity is even MORE painful and confusing. Alone and filled with pain he doesn't even know how to name, he searches for acceptance in the one person who ever really knew him-Gerry Keay.
***
“What do you want to be called then,” Gerry says and wraps his arms around Michael’s back.
This conversation hurts. This question hurts. Everything hurts, so long as no one knows about his gender, so long as he has to go on being someone he’s not, someone he just can’t be anymore. He doesn’t know how much longer he can stand it.
“I dunnooooo,” he says, grinning, but inside he knows his name isn’t Michael. It’s just not. He doesn’t have a name. He never has. And it’s absence is like a hole in his chest.
The creature that might as well be called Michael, it supposes, if you have to call it anything, thinks about this conversation while it sits on the ceiling of its hallway and slowly digs grooves into the plaster with its fingers.
Gerry, it thinks desperately. I have to find Gerry.
G | Words: 14,513 | Chapters: 1/1
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Save That Heart for Me by cedarbranch
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael
Gerry has just filled up his mug with coffee when it hits him. It’s a faint but sharp pain, zinging through his left wrist. He exhales a puff of laughter. That’s the third time this week. Whoever his soulmate is, they’re having a rough time.
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T | Words: 5,577 | Chapters: 1/1
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call me your harbor by insertcleveracejoke
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael
There was the matter of the owner. It could not be said that most people, when asked about their mental picture of what the owner of a bookstore should look like, would answer angry-looking goth covered in burn scars from the neck down.
He also had a terrible dye job.
Or: five times Michael went to Gerry's domain for help, and one time the opposite happened.
Part 1 of the bookstore AU
NR | Words: 4,488 | tChapters: 1/1
Other
Fic types I have not read enough of to lend it its own category. If I read more fics of its type, it'll be moved to a new category
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unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Oneshot #54: home improvement: or: Jon and Martin vs. IKEA
Oneshot #55: united front: or: Martin helps Jon with his statement hunger . (Set 159/160)
Oneshot #56: evolution: or: There is an uneasy alliance at first, between Jon and the Archivist
(Short TMA JonMartin one-shots, individual warnings in chapter notes, now with a fully-functioning contents page)
G | Words: 73,687 | Chapters: 56/56
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onto a vast plain by yewgrove
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The world ends. They get married.
Part 2 of it is what you have.
T | Words: 10,313 | Chapters: 1/1
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Out There, Somewhere by Artyphex
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
"I'm sorry, you were found alone."
Jon survived the apocalypse and now will go to the end of this new, unfamiliar world to find Martin again.
T | Words: 54,080 | Chapters: 8/8
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enemy of my enemy by beeclaws
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Jon comes back from his time with the Circus a little worse for wear. Tim has some feelings about that.
M | Words: 6,263 | Chapters: 4/4
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Updates
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a map of what matters most by gruhukens added to Time Travel - Mar. 8, 2024
leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) by OllieoftheBeholder added to Time Travel - Mar. 8, 2024
How Particular, My Fondness of You by cedarbranch added to Highly Alternate - Mar. 18, 2024
call me your harbor by insertcleveracejoke added to Gerrymichael - Mar. 18, 2024
tides turning by gauras added to Scottish Safehouse Period - Mar. 18, 2024
a six-step process by bluejayblueskies added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
who's there? by bubonickitten added to England Jonmartin-centic - Mar. 18, 2024
because light reverses, because the dead return by 1248, Tiili97 added to Highly Alternate - Mar. 18, 2024
Clothes Have No Gender by kristsune added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
northwest 6 to gale 8. rain. poor, occasionally good. by chewsdaychillin added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
447 notes · View notes
am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
Note
❤️🐾 wanna find this later
Okay so. My roommate, who I've actually talked about on here a long time ago and we "worked it out" only for them to really just get worse about it, has been smoking pot more and more and more inside the apartment, which has a no smoking rule but they SWEAR it's only for cigarettes (which doesn't make sense to me but fuck do I care I'm not on the lease and I'm out of here in two months). Anyway, pot gives me major migraines and I already chronically have them but now that they're smoking more, I'm talking 5, 6, 7 times a day, I literally just basically ALWAYS have a migraine. I've told them this happens, asked them to smoke elsewhere, eat edibles, ANYTHING, no dice. They have a medical card and I'm absolutely not opposed to pot, when they did it only a couple times a day or every other day it was pretty bearable, but now it's all. The damn. Time. And I'm so sick of having Migraines. They ALSO have chronic Migraines so they know exactly what they're causing. So. My big question. I know what triggers their Migraines. We've been VERY CAREFUL to never ever purchase anything with the scent in it for that reason. It's Lavender, which is my absolute all time favorite scent. But it's a fuckinf scent and I wasn't exactly looking to cause someone pain. But now? Would I be the asshole if I bought a Lavender plug in, incense, or whatever and put in the house for like a week or two? I do not want to keep it in the house as much as they smoke, which has been ongoing for about two or three months now, because even now I'm still not able to bring myself to do that much harm to a person as they do to me. But I do just. I want to put back some of that shitty energy they've been giving me and my spouse.
268 notes · View notes
fuzzyautumninmetal · 4 months ago
Text
Loving Husband pt 5
Olderhusband!Price 🤝 YoungerWife!Reader 🤝 Slight angst
I lowkey kinda made myself cry writing this also writers block sucks ass!!
Cw - slight mention of birth, being cut (not self harm!)
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Part 4 Part 6
You and John had been living in your new home for three months now, the excitement of moving and setting up your life together still fresh in your mind.
At six months along, you look and feel like you're ready to pop any day now. The doctors have told you to take it easy, and John has taken this order to heart. You're only allowed to walk, nothing more strenuous than that. It's frustrating, being confined to such a limited range of motion, but John's dedication to your health and the health of your unborn children is unwavering.
It's this selflessness, this love, that makes you fall in love with John all over again. You had no idea when you married him that he would be such a devoted husband and father. But here he is, taking care of you in every way possible, always putting your needs above his own.
Standing beside you, John watched as you carefully moved around the house. The pregnancy glow suited you, highlighting the curves of your body and bringing out the softness in your features. Even when you were irritated by the restrictions placed upon you, he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from you.
There was a time when he thought he'd never find someone who could handle the rigors of his life. Someone who could deal with the constant danger, the long periods of separation, and the stress of being married to a soldier. But then he met you, and everything changed.
Seeing you like this, so vulnerable yet so resilient, made his heart ache. But it also filled him with pride. Pride in knowing that he had chosen well, that he had found someone who loved him despite all his flaws.
As you walked around the house, you couldn't help but notice the way John looked at you. There was something about the way his blue eyes took in every detail of your body that sent a thrill through you. "You're staring darling," you smiled at him as you waddled towards the sofa.
Following you to the couch, John couldn't help but let his gaze wander over your form once more. The sight of you swollen with his children was enough to make his heart race.
"Can't help it, sweetheart," he said with a shrug, sitting down next to you. "You're looking even more beautiful these days."
His hand hovered near your belly, tempted to touch the bump where their babies were growing. But he resisted, instead choosing to content himself with watching the gentle rise and fall of your stomach as you breathed.
"How are our little angels doing today?" He asked softly, his voice filled with paternal concern.
You saw John's restriction when he came to touch your swollen stomach, it made you chuckled honestly. "You can touch my stomach you know" you smiled softly as you grabbed his hands to place on your stomach.
"They're kicking up a storm today" You replied with a smile. "I think they're going to be just like their dad. Always full of energy"
Feeling the subtle movements beneath his palm, John couldn't suppress the swell of emotion that welled up inside him. His kids were alive, thriving, and already causing trouble.
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Full of energy is good. Keeps them strong."
He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your stomach before pulling away. The sensation of those tiny kicks against his hand was enough to send shivers down his spine. "Are they going to be as stubborn as their mum?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Your cheeks flushed slightly at his words, but you couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped your lips. "I am not stubborn" you said with a grin as you grabbed his chin to bring him in for a gentle kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden move, John felt a jolt of desire course through him. The kiss was sweet and tender, making him wish that he could pick you up and carry you to bed, where he could worship every inch of your body. But he knew that wasn't an option right now, so he settled for the kiss. "Mmm..." he hummed against your lips before pulling away. "Still stubborn, I see."
After the kiss, you pulled back with a smirk on your face. "Maybe a bit" You murmured as you pulled him for another kiss.
Caught off guard by your sudden forwardness, John found himself responding to your kiss eagerly. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer into his chest. His hand slid down to cup your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"But I love you anyway," he whispered against your lips before kissing you again.
You pulled back from the kiss with a grin, "you better!" You kissed the tip of his nose before propping your feet up onto the coffee table, "will you massage my feet please, they feel like balloons." You chuckled as you looked at your swollen feet, so swollen you have to wear crocks when you go out now. Fucking crocks.
With a chuckle, John obliged, taking one of your feet into his large, calloused hands. He began to gently massage the arch of your foot, applying pressure to the sensitive spots.
"Gladly, love," he murmured, focusing on the task at hand. Despite the situation, he couldn't help but admire the softness of your skin under his rough palms. "It's hard seeing you like this," *he admitted after a moment, "but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."
You sighed softly as he massaged your feet, feeling the tension leaving them as he worked on each toe individually. "Just thinking of the 3 beautiful children we'll have" you replied softly as you closed your eyes enjoying the massage.
Continuing to work on your feet, John couldn't help but marvel at the changes that pregnancy had brought about in you. Your body now rounded and lush, carrying the fruit of their love. "It's strange," he mused aloud, "how something as miraculous as childbirth can also be so terrifying."
As he massaged your feet, you closed your eyes letting out a sigh of relief. "You're telling me," you said with a small laugh. "You're not the one that will have to push them out....or get cut open to get them out" you couldn't help but laugh slightly again as John began messaging your other foot.
At your laughter, John's own chuckle rumbled deep within his chest. He couldn't deny there was some truth to what you were saying. "But don't forget who will be there by your side when it happens," he reminded you, switching to massage your other foot. "Who will hold your hand and tell you everything will be alright." His fingers traced over the sole of your foot, finding all the tender spots until they reached your toes.
You let out a contented sigh as he continued to massage your feet. "That reminds me. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow for a check-up, I can't remember if you're on base or not tomorrow." You asked with a smile as you wiggled your toes.
Hearing about the appointment, John's expression softened. He loved these moments, listening to the heartbeat of their unborn children. It was almost magical, in its way.
"I'll be there," he assured you, his tone firm yet gentle. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." His fingers continued to work on your toes, giving them a gentle squeeze before moving back up towards your heel.
You smile at his answer, feeling happy knowing he would be there with you. "Good," you say, "I'd hate to go without you." You smiled lightly as he moves to your other foot, the massage feeling amazing, and you find yourself sinking deeper into the couch.
Once John finishes massaging your feet, he parts your thighs slightly so he can kneel in between them. He gently places his hands on your swollen belly and rests his forehead on your stomach. He lets out a soft sigh, one sign that something is wrong.
"I know you John. What's wrong?"
"This job," he begins, his voice low and thick with worry. "I'm going to miss so much, I might miss their first steps, their first laugh, their first words…" John always acts strong, he has to being a Captain, but you know him. You know him better than himself.
"I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you," you say, your voice firm but laced with love. You cup his cheeks with your hands so John would look up at you. "Our children won't mind anyway. You want to know why?"
He lifted his gaze to meet yours, his blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The vulnerability in those eyes only made you love him more. "Why?" he echoed, a hint of curiosity mixed with a heavy dose of scepticism in his voice.
"Because," you continue, your voice softening, "they will know that their daddy is a hero. They will know that he's out there fighting for the world, fighting for their future. They will be proud."
John nodded slowly, his grip tightening on your hips as he took in your words. There was a part of him that wanted to believe you, to take comfort in the thought that their children would understand. "And what about you?" he asked quietly, "How will you explain it to them? How will you tell them that their father wasn't there because he chose to be away?" Even though he knew it was a rhetorical question, he needed to hear your response.
You place a finger on his lips silencing him momentarily. "I'll tell them the same thing," you say, "that their daddy is a hero. That he fights for people he doesn't even know. And that while he does that, he thinks of us. Always."
"You're my hero John. I've never doubted that. And our kids won't either."
He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as he savoured the warmth of your finger against his lips. In that moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive – to have found someone like you, who could see past the uniform and the rank.
"Damn, I love you," he murmured against your skin, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than anything else in this world." He then placed a gentle kiss on your belly, his affection for the three little lives growing inside you evident in every movement he made.
Your heart swells with love for John as he whispers his love for you. You reach down and run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your body. "And I love you, more than anything else in this world too."
You kiss the top of his head, inhaling his scent. You are both silent for a moment, just enjoying each other's company.
The weight of your love pressed down on him, grounding him in a way nothing else could. His arms tightened around your waist, holding onto you as if you were the last piece of sanity in an otherwise chaotic world.
He looked up at you, his blue eyes shining with a mix of love and admiration. "You know, I sometimes wonder if I deserve you." There was a hint of self-doubt in his voice, something he rarely showed, especially not to you.
You tilt your head, looking down at John with a small smile playing on your lips. "Why would you ever think that?" You ask, genuinely confused.
He shrugged, his brow furrowed in thought. "I mean, here I am, off fighting wars, missing milestones, while you're here carrying our children, preparing for their arrival..." His voice trailed off, as if he was unsure whether he should finish what he started. But the truth was, he had plenty of reasons to doubt himself.
"It's not fair to you," he finally said, his voice low and sincere. "You deserve better than a husband who's always away. A husband who can't give you what you need..."
You gently grabbed John's cheeks to look at you. "Don't," you whispered, your thumb stroking his cheek. "Don't say that."
He sighed softly, leaning into your touch as if seeking comfort from your hand. He closed his eyes briefly, savouring the sensation of your thumb against his skin.
"Don't what?" he asked, opening his eyes to meet yours again. "Tell the truth? Because it's the truth, sweetheart. You deserve a husband who can stay home, who can be there for you and the babies..."
As your trembling voice whispered, "Shh," silence enveloped you. Your breath hitched, tears threatening to cascade down your cheeks. "I want you, John."
John's glassy eyes held a mixture of pain and longing. "You deserve better," he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.
"No," you protested, your voice a feeble plea. "I don't want better. I have you." Warm tears escaped, trailing down your face. "You're not just my husband. You're my best friend, my lover, my partner...my everything."
He watched as the tears rolled down your cheeks, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. He didn't want to cause you pain, but he also couldn't deny the truth.
"But I'm not there for you, sweetheart," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Not like I should be..."
You shook your head, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. "You're here now," you said softly, reaching down to cup his face in your hands. "That's all that matters."
He let out a shaky breath, feeling the warmth of your hands on his face. He gazed up at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion* "But I can't help but feel like I'm failing you. Failing our family..."
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his. "Stop it, John. Please," you whispered. "You're not failing me. Failing us."
He exhaled deeply, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging within him. The weight of his duty was heavy, but the love he felt for you and the unborn children was heavier still. "Sometimes I wish..." his voice trailed off, the words dying on his lips before they could fully form.
He hesitated, clearly struggling with his thoughts. After a long pause, he continued. "Sometimes I wish I could leave it all behind - the war, the danger, the constant uncertainty. Just so I could focus on building a life with you, raising our children together..."
His gaze drifted over your features, committing every detail to memory. The way the light danced in your eyes, the curve of your lips, the softness of your skin beneath his fingertips...
"But that's not reality, is it?" he asked, his tone tinged with resignation. "Reality is me being called away, leaving you to handle things on your own...again."
You grab his hand, pressing it against your stomach. "But it will be in the future," you say, your voice firm. "When you retire. We'll be together finally, you can chase our children around the garden, spoil them rotten. Finally treat yourself to that bike you've always wanted." You chuckle, the sound light and carefree.
John's eyes flicker to your face, a ghost of a smile forming.
"But not yet dear," you continue, cupping his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. "You're not done saving the world, you're not done being the hero everyone needs."
His face softens, his gaze melting into yours. The weight of the world is there in his eyes, but so is love, a deep and unwavering love that knows no bounds. You know he's fighting a battle, a war within himself, but you also know that he'll choose you, always. He will come back to you, your haven, your love. He will come home.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he listened to you speak, your words washing over him like a soothing balm. He knew you were right - he wasn't ready to retire just yet. There was still work to be done, lives to save, threats to neutralize.
"You're right," he conceded, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not done yet. Not by a long shot." He paused, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. "But I promise you this, sweetheart - when the time comes, I'll be here. For you, for our family. Always." He sealed his vow with a tender kiss, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple gesture. "I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that."
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moosesarecute · 4 months ago
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Part 5: The Shadows Sing
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7
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“You’re joking,” you said the second you walked inside your cabin.
It had been a month and you were hoping that this annoying male had forgotten about your embarrassing bargain.
A month where you had done your best to ignore the tight tug in your chest. The screams for him to come back.
Your head yelled for you to keep a long distance from him, but your heart told you something else.
Lucky for you your head won, for now.
So you made a bargain because you needed to know that he would leave you alone. Unfortunately for you, he already proved himself smarter than you and found a loophole.
Of course he decides to turn up on the day you’re the most exhausted and the least prepared to protect yourself.
Azriel just shrugged.
You walked further into your cabin and laid the three birds you had hunted on the table.
“You hunted them yourself?” Azriel asked.
He was still standing as far away from you as possible.
“Yeah,” you answered and slumped down on your chair.
“Rough day?” He then asked.
He confused you. He told you he was curious, but then he just asked you pointless questions about yourself.
It didn’t make sense. He definitely had a secret plan.
“Yeah,” you replied.
You had phantom in your left leg. It had started in the morning and had only gotten worse and worse. In the end of your hunt you had been struggling to walk.
So you had to go home early, because you had pain in the foot that was detached from your body. It felt quite stupid.
“What happened to your leg?” Azriel asked. He looked at you with almost caring eyes, but you knew he had to be acting.
You thought for a second how to answer the question without telling too much, but still being truthful.
“When I first started hunting I wanted to prove myself,” you started. You fickled with your hands as you spoke and your gaze was lowered. “I went for the animal with the biggest reward, a naga. It attacked and I lost my leg.”
He nodded and started to move towards you. You did your best to sit still and not flee.
He was so tall, it freaked you out.
And his wings! They were huge!
Even as a kid, you hadn’t seen bigger wings. You had to admit that it scared you.
He must have noticed your fear, because the next thing he did was to tuck his wings tightly together. Your chest bloomed with comfort when he did.
He stopped and leaned back on the table.
“You controlled a naga on the battlefield against Hybern,” he stated. He looked at you with a curious look. “How did you do that?”
Shit.
You hadn’t realized anyone saw that. It had been risky. It was the most dangerous thing you had ever let your shadows do.
You took a deep breath.
“I prayed,” you answered.
It was technically the truth. When you realized how many people on your side the naga would kill, you had let your shadows out of your grip and prayed for help.
Help to control them.
Help to save as many as possible.
For Hybern to lose.
Lucky for you, someone listened and helped you steer the naga with your shadows.
Azriel looked like he was thinking a lot. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and he stared directly at you.
His hazel eyes were like heaven. They looked so kind and safe. Like they would embrace you and hold you until everything was alright. They would help you. They would protect you.
You really wanted someone to protect you.
Azriel let out a sigh and that pulled you from your train of thoughts.
“You can just admit that you are a shadowsinger,” he told you.
You decided to ignore him.
“Can I ask you questions?” You asked him.
Where the courage came from, you didn’t know, but you felt your chest burn when you thought about how little you knew about him.
This male that randomly decided to take a part in your life, was a big mystery.
“I guess,” he answered. “But I can’t promise I’ll answer them all.”
He looked so confident. It made you feel less confident.
You took a deep breath.
“How old are you?” You firstly asked.
“500 and something,” he answered.
You nodded and tried to press down the surprise you felt. If he was over 500 years he probably fought in the first war as well as the more recent one.
It wasn’t hard to believe that he had mastered the act of being a shadowsinger with that much experience.
“Why are you curious about me?” You asked him next.
You still didn’t know why he wanted to ask you questions and so why he spent his questions getting to know you and for the most part not interrogate you.
He spent some time thinking about an answer to your question.
“The naga on the battlefield has been on my mind lately,” he explained. “I saw you steering the naga, so I thought you might have something to learn me.”
Something to learn him? About what? Did he see your shadows on the battlefield? You were in deep shit. He was for sure manipulating you into admitting that you’re a shadowsinger. You couldn’t let him know. Couldn’t let anyone know.
He must have sensed your anxiety growing, because he slowly moved further away from you. He kept acting like you could trust him! You felt yourself wanting to trust him.
“Any exciting dinner plans?” He asked.
That broke your patience.
“What do you want? Just tell me, okay? I’m sick of you pretending like you’re the nicest guy ever,” you basically yelled at him.
Frown grew on his face. Didn’t spend time thinking before he answered.
“If you think I’m acting like the nicest guy ever, then you haven’t met very many nice guys,” he said with a straightforward tone. “I’ve been drawn towards you ever since I saw you for the first time. I don’t know why, but I have. I’ve been the only shadowsinger alive for the last 400 years. I’m sure you know how lonely it can feel.”
You did.
You had for all your years with your shadows felt self conscious that the only creatures that ever wanted to have something with you to do, was shadows.
You also had no idea how to control said shadows. To be honest, they were a pain in your ass and made your life harder.
The way Azriel spoke made your heart melt. He thought about you ever since you’d met the first time. You had been thinking about him too, even though you refused to admit it.
But still your brain had the lead. He could be tricking you. He could be much more dangerous than he looks. You should tread carefully.
“I don’t have any dinner plans,” you said.
Azriel’s graze wandered from you towards the three birds on the table.
“They’re not for me,” you said. “I hunt and get money for the animals I kill or catch.”
“Good paying?” He asked.
“It varies a lot,” you answered honestly.
He nodded.
“I’ve spent two minutes today,” he stated. “I still have two more. I’ll take them a different day.”
You just nodded at him.
He shadow walked away.
You let your shadows go after you had made sure he was actually gone.
And just to make the rough day you had even worse, they were absolutely furious at you.
The first thing they did was to pull your hair and your ears. Then they started to yell at you. All of them at once.
“We want to be with mate!”
“Our mate too!”
“Friends!”
“Where are they?”
“They aren’t safe!” You yelled back. You slammed your fist into the table. “I can’t trust them! WE can’t trust them! So stop talking like they’re the most important creatures in the world!”
But deep down you felt yourself wanting them to be here and get to know both Azriel and his shadows well enough to call them friends…if not more.
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The hood in front of your face felt suffocating and the binds on your hands got tighter and tighter each week you had to go before her.
Amarantha
You were leaded the same direction you always were. You had gotten the same doze faebane you always did, but something felt different. You just didn’t know what.
Suddenly you were stopped and the hood was pulled away.
The room was dark, but you still spent some time getting used to the light.
“What do you have for me?” She asked. Her voice was calm and icy, her eyes the same. They stared into your soul.
“A stag, ma’am,” you answered with your head bowed and your gaze lowered.
“Breathe,” you heard inside your head. “It’s going to be alright.”
The way the High Lord spoke made you understand that she was in a faul mood.
“That’s it?” She asked sounding almost bored.
“Yes, ma’am,” you answered. “It’s a particular rough winter.”
You tried to reason with her, but it didn’t work in your favor.
You were pushed to your hands and knees. Your head touched the ground.
“I’m responsible for food for my subjects. Are you saying that I don’t do my job?”
“No, ma’am! Not at all,” you answered, your voice was shaky with fear.
“Scream when it’s natural,” you heard and not even seconds later you felt the whip hit your back, right on the scars from your wings.
However, you didn’t feel any pain.
You knew the High Lord of Night was helping you.
You let out a little scream. And for each whiplash you screamed a little louder. Putting on your best act.
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You woke up shaking and sweating.
You hated when the time under her rule haunted your dreams. You hated how weak it made you feel and how humiliating it was.
Just stood up from bed, deciding to drop breakfast and go straight out to the forest to hunt. You needed a distraction.
You had just finished putting on your leathers when you heard a knock on the door.
Your heart started to beat faster. No one ever visited you without you knowing. For example, you knew that Hazel would come visit later and that you would hunt together. She would knock, but it was too early for her. Something had to be really wrong.
“I know you’re in there,” you heard Azriel say from the other side of the door.
Your heart calmed for a second.
It was just Azriel. He was back! He wanted to see you again so soon.
But then you realized that Azriel stood outside your cabin where everyone could see him. If anyone did, you were dead.
You hid your shadows as you rushed to open the door. Before Azriel could even mutter a greeting, you had pulled him into your cabin by his wrist and closed the door behind you.
“Did anyone see you?” You asked him, still holding onto his wrist. “Or anything? An animal?”
You were freaking out. Your chest tightened and your hands started to tremble.
“Nobody saw me,” he answered. “I promise.”
You just shock your head. You didn’t believe him. You couldn’t believe him. The anxiety spread throughout your body. You couldn’t breathe.
He slowly pulled his wrist out of your hand and leaded you towards your tree stump.
“Sit,” he said. “And take a few deep breaths. You’ll pass out if you continue like that.”
You had no choice but to do as he said. He crunched down before you, his hands resting on your knees.
“Good girl,” he said. “Once more deep breath. You’re okay. No one saw me. I used my shadows. I’m a spy, I know how to sneak around.”
If you were in your right mind, you probably would have picked up the important information he told you, but you were too consumed by remembering how to breathe.
Azriel just stayed before you and waited for you to get better.
“Why are you back so soon?” You asked him. Your voice was hoarse as you spoke. You had your head and eyes pointed to the ground, trying to hide the embarrassment you felt.
“I brought you some food,” he answered.
You raised your head and looked directly into his caring hazel eyes. He looked quite handsome.
“What?”
“I brought you breakfast,” he said again.
“Why?” You asked him.
It was like he cared for you?
“You’re way too thin,” he stated. “I also might have gone through your cupboards when you were out yesterday.”
Your cupboards were empty. They always were. You never had enough food to fill them. The food would be gone within a couple of eyes anyway.
Azriel moved toward a bag he had brought. He lifted it and sat it on the table. He then pulled out apples, grapes and bananas, as well as bread, cold oatmeal porridge and some brown stuff in a rectangular shape.
He brought you so much, it was like he was worried. He cared for you?
“I thought we could have overnight oats. You can choose what toppings you want to use,” he started to explain. “And then chocolate for a little dessert.”
You weren’t sure when your mouth opened, but you soon felt some drool escape. You wipes it away and immediately closed your mouth.
“You’ve tasted chocolate before, right?” He asked and looked quite concerned.
You just shook your head.
“Grapes?”
“No”
“Overnight oats?”
“No”
It was his turn to gape at you.
“Hopefully, you’ll love it,” he said looking at you with a spark in his eyes.
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“So the squirrel just took your apple?” You asked him trying to hold back your laughter.
“It did indeed just take it,” he answered with an embarrassed smile.
Throughout what had been the most delicious meal of your life, you had started to talk.
First about you never having tasted chocolate, which you soon realized might be the best thing in the world and also a good ice breaker.
Then about how you manage to build your cabin.
Then about how your prosthetic foot work.
And in the end about Azriel and his life. He told a particularly funny story where he and his brother had stolen an apple each from a tree and a squirrel had stolen it from him not even seconds later.
You were both about to burst into laughter when you for the second time today heard the terrifying sound of someone knocking on your door.
Your head whipped towards your door. Hazel weren’t supposed to arrive for a couple of more hours. Someone definitely had seen Azriel on his way to visit you.
They would kill you.
Maybe if you’re lucky it’s just Hazel that arrived early. You had to make sure that Azriel didn’t make a sound. No one could know he was there.
Unfortunately for you, you were too late.
“Who’s-“
You didn’t have time to think about your actions.
He started to speak and you needed to stop him, quick.
You didn’t even realize what you did before it was too late.
You met his shocked eyes.
His mouth was shut and covered by your shadows.
You had let them loose, in front of someone else. Someone who was basically a stranger.
As you rushed out the door and met Hazel on the other side, you knew you had just changed your life forever.
And you were sure it wasn’t a good change.
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@i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark @saltedcoffeescotch @rcarbo1
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liloinkoink · 2 months ago
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hey guys, someone just sent me a weird ass ask claiming my incredibly close friend cherri @cherrifire secretly hate me and is talking abt me behind my back. i was not the only person to get one of these identical slanderous asks. i’ve already blocked the anon but like. open letter to them, and for the benefit of anyone else who gets an ask like this….
1) anon, you’re genuinely fucking stupid
2) hysterical to send this when i was actively chatting w her, while we were in the process of fleshing out yet another renchanting au, something we have done all day every day for… gosh, how long has it been now? nearly two years? i would say that it was really bad timing to send this ask to me while i was actively chatting aus w her but there really isn’t any moment you could have sent this that i wouldn’t have been.
3) if you thought i wasn’t gonna call bullshit and snitch immediately you don’t know shit about me or cherri, which, granted, is evident by the ask in general, but you really are stupid
4) if a gc like this existed—which it does not, bc cherri is not like this and would not do this—i would be in it. this idiot doesn’t even know im cherri’s emotional support writer. do you have any idea how many gcs and servers she’s dragged me into w her.
5) get your facts right cherri talks shit about me to my face. this is mutual. fake ass fan. if you were a real cherri friend you would know this smh
6) no, actually, you’re right, she definitely hates me. that’s why i met her irl literally like 3 months ago on her invitation, we hung out for a genuine week, spent basically the whole time arm in arm or hand in hand. this is also why we were planning a second meetup last night. you idiot. you fool. you complete and utter moron
anyway, if anyone gets this ask:
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it’s complete bullshit. theyre sending this to cherri’s best friends for some godforsaken reason. it’s very weird and deeply cringe. also incredibly poorly planned. idk how many ppl you sent this to, but a few of us are in a gc and we have been making fun of this ask for like an hour (anon, im one of cherri’s friends and she’s been telling a small group of friends about you— lol. lmao even)
anyway like. to reiterate. cherri’s one of my best friends, she’s absolutely lovely and i’m lucky every day to know her. we hang out and chat constantly and we’ve met irl and it was an incredible experience i would love to repeat. i have told her things i have not fuckin told anyone else and you could not otherwise waterboard out of me. i love talking to her all the time and i miss her when she’s busy for even like, an hour. i love writing w her and creating things w her. she’s an incredibly bright spot in my life, often the first person i think of upon waking and the last i think of before i sleep. she is kind and funny and i love her a lot.
i’m a bitch tho so like @ this anon go fuck yourself. you better hope that when you die that the devil finds you before i do. sending this ask to a bunch of our friends, trying to turn the people she cares about against her, and for what? you clearly don’t know her well enough to be talking like this. trying to ruin my friend’s reputation and friendships w a vague as hell and entirely baseless copy paste is super fucking weird. why would you do this? and like, do you think we were born yesterday to fall for this? i’m insulted for her for whatever it was you were trying to pull and i’m insulted on behalf of myself and everyone else you sent this to that you think we’re as stupid as you are. what is your damage. get a hobby.
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