#i feel 60 and 6 at the same time

[viskiaa]

good omens fandom !!!! I have a WIP... recreating the Favorite Poet or wtv this painting is called but with ineffable husbands :3

however... crowley's face is PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF because it doesn't look right and I need to just start over I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW MEN AAUAHGHGHSUSHSH soooo

Should I 1. give up on this and do my 15 missing assignments so I don't fail school

or

2. finish it and be proud of myself until i feel sad that I didn't do this as an oil painting instead!!!!!! (I really just wanted to share my wip i need encouragement...)

[shroomanddoom]

I can be normal about Random Crits in TF2.

[lights-all-askew]

y'know, I only met my weekly movement/exercise goal 60% of weeks this year, and I probably on average only did my lil PT exercises 3-5 times a week (the goal was every day)... but both of those are way, way more than I did last year. and that feels like a real win

[kamiiik0]

☆ 𝙑𝙤𝙞𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙞𝙙 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜

This is gonna be a FULL guide to enter void state aka induce pure consciousness through lucid dreaming. I'm gonna start from the very basics, It's also gonna be the way i induce pure consciousness through lucid dreaming (Don't worry, it's easy), but I have also provided other methods if some people don't resonate with mine. Let us begin.

》 1. What is lucid dreaming?

Lucid dreaming is an of gaining awareness inside a dream. Basically it's just being aware that you're dreaming in a dream, which allows us to control and mold our dreams into the way we want, and also opens opportunities for interesting things like inducing pure consciousness, or more commonly for shifting. Lucid dreaming is extremely easy and anyone can do it.

》 2. How did I lucid dream? (and how you can do it too the easy way)

Personally, I just get a sudden realisation or a feeling inside my dream that goes "wait, I'm dreaming". IKeep in mind i've never done any methods or reality checks whatsoever, I just decide that I'm a lucid dreaming master (loaasumption) and can easily enter void state through lucid dreaming, and that was basically it. I used subliminals, (if you want me to link it then let me know), but the night I lucid dreamt i didn't listen to any subliminals, i just set the intention. But yes, they helped me a lot I'd say, you can definitely give them a try. And yes, I've succeeded through this method.

Basically, all you need to is intend to lucid dream, whether that be by deciding, affirming, repetition or by your own method. Personally, I just decide that I'll lucid dream tonight.

What i do after I realise I'm lucid dreaming (and what you should do too), I calm myself down, then I close my eyes (this immediately leads you to the void) and I start affirming things such as "I am pure consciousness", "I am in the void state", then i enter. Its a guaranteed void inducing method. and IF YOU WAKE UP IMMEDIATELY AFTER CLOSING YOUR EYES, then stabilise your dream for a bit by creating random stuffs or staying longer and exploring.

》 3. Other methods to lucid dreaming

If you don't resonate with the intention method, here are some other methods you can use:

a. Wake Back To Bed (WBTB)

Wake back to bed involves setting an alarm for 4.5-6 hours after you sleep. To be honest, you can use any alarm it doesn't have to be touchless. After waking up, stay awake for anywhere between 10-60 minutes, you can do anything just try to stay awake. After staying up for between 10-60 mins, go back to sleep. This sends you directly into the REM sleep stage which is associated with lucid dreaming.

b. Finger Induced Lucid Dream (FILD)

FILD involved setting an alarm anywhere after 2-3 hours. After waking up, lie down on your back and close your eyes. Then move your fingers like you're playing a piano and start visualization/ daydreaming (about anything). After that, your fingers will start to become less "noticeable". After 30 seconds of doing this, do a reality check like closing your nose and breathing. If you can breathe, you're dreaming. If not, repeat from the finger tapping again.

c. Dream Exit Induced Lucid Dream (DEILD)

In the DEILD method, you have to wake up WITHOUT physical moments. You can set an intention to wake up at x time, or use a touchless alarm for this. After waking up, remain completely still, moments can cause the brain to wake up. After that, imagine any scenario. Keep imagining, until your scenario has turned into a dream. (Your dream might exactly not be the same as your Scenario).

d. Mnemonic Induced Lucid Dreaming (MILD)

For MILD, set an alarm, for 5 hours. After waking up, try to recall your dream at your best ability. Identify any key signs that can help you know whether your dreaming or not if you re enter the dream. You can also use phrases like "next time I'm dreaming, I'll remember I'm dreaming". Then fall back asleep quickly.

4. 》 Things to remember while lucid dreaming

a. Calm down, getting overly excited can collapse your dream. Taking deep breaths help

b. Stabilise your dream by creating stuff, flying, or doing xyz things in your dream so you're properly grounded (Optional step, I personally just calmed myself down and affirmed for the void, but it can be important for some people)

c. FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE DREAM COLLAPSE AS SOON AS THEY BECOME LUCID/ PEOPLE WHO WANT TO VIVIDIFY THEIR DREAM; I know collapsing your dream as soon as you become lucid sucks. So to prevent this, ▪︎Immediately start touching the ground as soon as you become lucid. ▪︎Start rubbing your hands together. ▪︎Yell, or tell your subconscious "I want clarity". ▪︎Keep your emotions in check, stay as calm as possible.

d. BE PATIENT! inducing pure consciousness may nor be immediate, it can take upto 5 minutes of affirming for some (usually not), but if you think you're affirming and nothing happened, keep doing it because I guarantee those 5 minutes extra of affirming are worth living your dream life.

5. 》 Why I prefer this method (and why might you too 😉)

Lucid dreaming is the most effective and guaranteed method to induce pure consciousness in my opinion. I tried inducing pure consciousness by relaxing and daydreaming, but i couldn't help but focus on my 3D a lot which left me discouraged, even after i succeeded. So I decided upon this method. This method will be extremely helpful for those who just suck at actually daydreaming without the "back of their mind" still focusing on the 3D (me lol).

This concludes our Lucid Dream guide. I might or might not edit it again, but if you have any questions then you can ask me! Now go live your dream life!

[chipper-smol]

hey if anyone is craving some good pokemon nostalgia or wants to play a new pokemon game but doesnt have 60+ dollars to drop, or doesnt vibe with how nintendo keeps shutting down fans who build emulators, or kind of wish for a higher quality game with tasty QoL measures, or doesnt want to support the unhealthy crunch culture they have-

ya’ll should check out Coromon

1: its currently on sale for $5 on steam

2: beautiful pixel art style and animation

3: built in difficulty modes including nuzlocke if you like doing nuzlockes

4: shinies actually have stat values instead of just being pretty. theyre also rare enough that they still feel special while at the same time arent near impossible to encounter

5: cute little world details where the dev team didnt have to do but did anyway to immerse you into the game (like a guy pulling out an umbrella when it rains, or your sibling complaining when you step in front of the tv, or having to put on a labcoat before going into a lab)

6: the dev team are obviously hardcore pokemon fans who went “ok we’ll just make our own cause nintendo keeps missing the ball” without the palworld plagiarism bs

7:

idk ive been really craving that first pokemon experience i had and this is NAILING it

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

OK. All the blogs in this special round 0 are under the cut. Every odd number is against the even below it. We'll see how tumblr feels about the bracket image this time, but I'm not posting it until this round 0 is over.

Due to not wanting to spam your feeds and also the tumblr post limit (there are 253 polls this round!), I will be spreading these out via the queue, posting 50 a day.

1: hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

2: flareon-fanart-collection

3: the-compressor

4: rat-detector-but-evil

5: cantheywinthehungergames

6: official-fluffy-posts

7: would-you-punt-them

8: dailyhomestarfacts

9: ominous-signs

10: rat-detector-24

11: throckmorton-the-skater

12: dailytricksterfox

13: identifying-dogs

14: disappointed-by-lack-of-soup

15: identifying-cat-phenotypes

16: the-real-yahoo-mail

17: alphabetcompletionist

18: guillotinema

19: bocchidaily2024

20: the-official-netherlands

21: makingyourfavesinwebfishing

22: rat-detector-detector-detector

23: yesornopolls

24: posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia

25: elvis-official

26: ebugsdotjpeg

27: crane-detector

28: word-problem-posting

29: onionpainter

30: rat-detector-fail

31: i-make-things-snakes

32: the-djavulsksilverhaj

33: onenicebugperday

34: funnier-when-objectum

35: things-that-are-weezer-blue

36: no-stupid-questions-official

37: i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat

38: mysticmagicrat

39: hot-take-tournament

40: rat-detector-8x

41: cantheykillmacbeth

42: is-this-shakespearean-accurate

43: bear-detector

44: inside-outtakes-daily

45: localairport

46: the-demonhaj

47: cat-spotted

48: suddenlyveryloud

49: probablybadrpgideas

50: your-fav-is-divorced

51: parentheses-posts

52: sans-in-heat

53: ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit

54: same-pic-of-the-blue-moon

55: mcmansionhell

56: dailykafka

57: ofishal-fish-posts

58: gimmick-spice-tolerance-bracket

59: really-fucked-up-stimboards

60: polishpriests

61: identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts

62: iloveants

63: gimmick-blog-bracket

64: the-actual-ocean

65: pointless-achievements

66: digital-slenderman

67: making-your-fave-in-fr

68: twopartposts

69: creatures-in-posts

70: not-a-trampoline-daily

71: echo-flower-from-undertale

72: e-counter

73: is-the-post-reliable

74: the-magentahaj

75: the-timeloop-tourney

76: friend-myth-kill

77: couldtransitionsaveher

78: smashorpassgilf

79: ginger-ale-official

80: is-this-fascism

81: official-boob-posts

82: los-camp-daily

83: yesterdays-xkcd

84: earth-updates-today

85: rat-detector

86: fuck-you-in-particular

87: making-you-in-ponytown

88: i-shelve-posts

89: haveyouatethisfruit

90: new-dinosaurs

91: cantheysurvive2001aspaceodyssey

92: stereosexuals-daily

93: does-this-require-cyanobacteria

94: rat-detector-333

95: mammalidentifier

96: is-your-post-grey

97: kittybroker

98: dilfs-dot-com

99: howoldisjimmycarter

100: pokemonbattletournament

101: reallybadblackoutpoems

102: unhelpfultarot

103: postsofbabel

104: the-offical-vine

105: drawing-you-as-a-critter

106: incorrectconspiracytheorist

107: arewebeholdingaman

108: the-official-chaldea

109: lowpolyanimals

110: the-real-will-wood-daily

111: i-want-tennis-ball

112: united-states-health-care

113: snailifier

114: locked-in-or-tweaking

115: the-purple-painter

116: the-actual-catacombs

117: rick-roller

118: identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

119: parappa-raps

120: inthetags

121: little-bitch-detector

122: elitegreet

123: blood-heritage-posts

124: words-that-could-be-jtoh-towers

125: scp-threats-is-back

126: ratdetectordetectordetectordet

127: fake-post-archive

128: ratdectector23

129: one-time-i-dreamt

130: could-they-win-a-holy-grail-war

131: shirtsthatgohard

132: rhinoceros-beetle-official

133: tf2heritageposts

134: pokemon-cards-hourly

135: everydayspamton

136: rat-detector-334

137: in-the-bible

138: fav-character-shroin-count

139: identifying-horses-in-posts

140: cactus-detector

141: peoplegettingkindamadatfood

142: spirit-phone-daily

143: official-mantis-shrimp-posts

144: rat-detector-236

145: whatcoloristhatcat

146: rat-eliminator

147: identifying-maille-weaves

148: the-lilahaj

149: things-that-are-not-true

150: ratdetector-x26

151: terriblerealestateagentphotos

152: in-case-i-die-daily

153: hellsite-proteins

154: good-pokemon-center-reviews

155: how-many-letters

156: characters-with-garlic-bread

157: same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

158: costcopizzablog

159: shrimpradar

160: do-you-know-this-adhd-character

161: identifying-cars-in-posts

162: shakespearean-suffering

163: the-firey-painter

164: official-wasp-posts

165: identifying-birds

166: pale-fur-my-moirail

167: carbon-monoxide-detector

168: out-of-context-tbcu

169: sealsdaily

170: a-counter

171: counter-facts-i-just-made-up

172: linguistwho

173: validwarriorcatsnames

174: the-litenhaj

175: i-type-things

176: fr-winn-dixie

177: hellsite-hall-of-fame

178: official-hater-posts

179: miscellaneous-marios

180: content-free

181: eroticismofthemachinedetector

182: weeklycandacedrawings

183: asciicompletionist

184: the-rosahaj

185: my-hobby-is-finding-the-source

186: anarchist-chess

187: the-hex-project

188: would-you-eat-them

189: apolladay

190: hajtale

191: evilwizard

192: the-aftonsparv

193: i-give-worms

194: official-knight-posts

195: fluttershywheresheshouldntbe

196: pokemontheywouldhave

197: card-of-the-day

198: mtg-cards-hourly

199: writing-prompt-s

200: mcr5-thoughts-every-other-day

201: memes-to-show-the-past

202: ratdetectortheninth

203: can-they-lift-thors-hammer

204: rat-detectors-detector

205: is-jk-rowling-dead-yet

206: orca-detector

207: amphibianaday

208: jstor

209: dark-wil-wheaton

210: chicago-mentioned

211: critter-creature-or-beast

212: civilisation-updates

213: yeahokayillreblogthat

214: worldofultimategaming

215: maryland-officially

216: fecundinex-official

217: whoishotteranimepolls

218: towhee-enjoyer

219: official-linguistics-post

220: t-counter

221: text-inverter

222: blorbo-court

223: latinare

224: detector-rat

225: making-you-in-atlyss

226: the-turkoshaj

227: i-give-you-a-fish

228: videos-i-didnt-make

229: i-make-things-spheres

230: 1337sp34kr

231: amongus-text-detector

232: rat-detector-16

233: alonglistofbirds

234: half-fey-freak-of-nature

235: girl-detector

236: cursed-facebook-marketplace

237: mouse-spotted

238: accidental-will-wood-reference

239: dear-ao3

240: daily-pokemon-polls

241: googlyeyesonmagiccards

242: totally-france

243: baba-is-blog

244: neilcicierega-daily

245: rat-detector-detector

246: i-give-you-a-manul

247: xkcd-for-that

248: r-ominous-positivity

249: who-jumps-for-the-beef

250: ace-attorney-smash-or-pass

251: making-you-in-spore

252: binas-official

253: i-say-ok

254: rat-detector-redacted

255: couldtheycatchkira

256: connection-terminated-blog

257: identifying-typewriters-in-posts

258: ratdetector13

259: post-store

260: unitedstatesoffandom

261: booktomoviebrawl

262: same-picture-of-benson-every-day

263: bestanimal

264: poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts

265: secondbeatsongs

266: museum-place-of-guys

267: musical-posts

268: libraryofbabel-postlocator

269: todays-xkcd

270: the-gimmick-teachers

271: numberscompletionist

272: am-i-the-asshole-official

273: the-glitter-painter

274: mcr-reference

275: eggblackoutpoetry

276: shinypokemonshowdown

277: rating-shittysawtraps

278: fnaf-flags

279: translatingpostsinfrench

280: rat-detector-twelve

281: pressxtosetfree

282: the-blahaj

283: transit-fag

284: orange-content-rater

285: lichenaday

286: eatorfuck

287: i-identify-guns-in-posts

288: daily-kobold-facts

289: front-facing-pokemon

290: apple-counter

291: thoughts-of-eel

292: rat-detector-19x

293: official-crab-posts

294: its-target-official

295: making-you-in-roblox

296: the-purpurhaj

297: aita-blorbos

298: mcytblrconfessions

299: doyoulikethissong-poll

300: i-remove-color-from-posts

301: flametexting-posts

302: medici-official

303: dailyhatsune

304: litwtc-referrer

305: cat-identifier

306: the-rat-detector-couple-the-1st

307: dailyquests

308: posts-without-the-letter-e

309: the-magenta-painter

310: space-update-today

311: haveyouheardthisband

312: videogameaxolotls

313: i-make-things-into-faces

314: eial-daily

315: the-haiku-bot

316: rat-detector-84

317: ao3org

318: your-fave-as-a-fate-servant

319: would-they-survive

320: chess-rook

321: making-you-in-sticky-business

322: born-against-daily

323: catcrumb

324: birdcounter

325: wtf-scientific-papers

326: is-it-ranboos-birthday

327: herpsandbirds

328: reading-comp-wrong-answers

329: ryunumber

330: c-counter

331: randomitemdrop

332: squeakdreamsresort

333: gimmick-thief-thief

334: favevostagepoll

335: simplified-birds

336: nom-nom-counter

337: i-make-things-content-aware

338: cookieclickercookieeater

339: ca-dmv-bot

340: rat-detector-the-22nd

341: rotating-donuts-blog

342: duothelingo

343: couldtheybekira

344: etho-spotted

345: contextfreepatentart

346: svard-haj

347: fixing-bad-posts

348: starskids-twisted-daily

349: the-icy-painter

350: rat-detector-the-26th

351: jesus-holding-your-fave

352: goodpokeaniscreencaps

353: making-you-in-lps

354: finding-tv-girl

355: is-destiel-canon-yet

356: rat-detector-13

357: it-hurts-to-post

358: rat-detector-seven

359: aistobascistod

360: nether-have-i-ever

361: shit-hdb-would-say

362: objectum-culture-is

363: hitboxesonstockimages

364: black-parade-daily

365: howdotheyliketheirsteak

366: lemondemonlyrics-daily

367: its-wednesday-sparkle-on

368: king-of-the-gods-zeus

369: certifiednewyorkposts

370: jeweledmonstera

371: todaysbird

372: south-carolina-detector

373: the-disempunctuationer

374: scale-polls

375: theyshapedlikefriends

376: big-mayo-official

377: elementcattos

378: massachusetts-official

379: theshitpostcalligrapher

380: hawaii-part-ii-daily

381: fish-identifier

382: the-universe-devs

383: identifying-cars-in-art

384: snake-spotted

385: banjobebleping

386: rat-detector-the-21st

387: relevant-wikipedia-articles

388: noahbaumbachmaritalstatus

389: shark-detector

390: rat-detector36

391: gimmickblog-taxonomist

392: official-level-5

393: peeledpokemon

394: bad-time-analogies

395: bovineblogger

396: the-eldritch-skrackhaj

397: periodiccompletionist

398: soniclesbianflags

399: ohio-thestate

400: fakest-thickwoman

401: bible-word-counter

402: rat-detector-the-18th

403: gimmick-thief

404: colorpicked-flags-from-one-guy

405: three-dee-ess

406: salem-village-everyday

407: the-frightening-ghoul

408: cool-rocks-official

409: bugthingsdaily

410: how-much-yellow

411: is-it-out-of-touch-thursday

412: ditto-dex

413: todays-problematic-ship

414: how-many-purples

415: thefoilguy

416: your-fave-as-owl

417: whatsthebird

418: the-first-bank

419: accidental-homestuck

420: thingsthatcannotsaveyou

421: what-day-of-the-week

422: jamface-daily

423: househeritageposts

424: fictitious-grail-war

425: fox-detector

426: spine-gif

427: hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

428: rat-dedecdor

429: worlds-worst-ships

430: marinememes

431: dyktvideogamesfx

432: best-u-of-feenis-program

433: official-olm-posts

434: frollosuggestions

435: lesserknowncryptids

436: random-askbox-shit

437: hands-you-a-spatula

438: alyrictoasongbythecranewives

439: transparentcatpngs

440: sideblog-with-everyone

441: the-reverser

442: rat-detector-72

443: charl0ttan

444: pokemonxniccage

445: is-deltarune-tomorrow

446: ratdetector-x11

447: official-cannibalism-posts

448: hituwithabat

449: magic-vending-machine

450: universal-posting

451: statistical-distr-of-polls

452: incorrect-guilty-gear

453: dog-spotted

454: cccc-reference-counter

455: can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture

456: moonpawmybeloved

457: dailypokemoncrochet

458: rat-detector-the-14th

459: post-uwuifier

460: incaseimakeit-daily

461: makingyourfavindti

462: willwoodoutofcontext

463: was-house-fruity

464: bozarotexts

465: textposttropes

466: i-add-ampersands-to-posts

467: free-post-store

468: rat-detector-rat-89

469: sat-a-day

470: willwooddaily

471: wouldyoudoitforaklondikebar

472: c-official

473: where-is-tom-scott-today

474: tfihwg-daily

475: littleguysdaily

476: rainworld-name-verifier

477: badjokesbyjeff

478: rat-detector-to-the-5th-power

479: identifying-planes-in-posts

480: guiltygearofficial

481: doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter

482: official-bee-posts

483: making-you-in-mc

484: rat-detector-thirteen

485: voiceclaim-polls

486: walmart-the-official

487: tf2-post-archive

488: olipopsoda

489: making-u-a-cube

490: rat-detector-15

491: identifying-guns-in-posts

492: dailyiiwheelship

493: postanagramgenerator

494: will-wood-referrer

495: punctuation-completionist

496: daily-vitamin-an

497: i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

498: left-handed-minecraft-mobs

499: colourpickingpride

500: eurovision-song-bracket

501: incognitopolls

502: self-proclaimed-brick-expert

503: shittysawtraps

504: self-ish-daily

505: i-give-olms-to-people

506: scromble

[swirlyyygal]

Up Late..

Being woken up late into the night was something you hated, but it means you get to admire Joel.. So it’s not all that bad.. (≧◡≦)

Jackson!Joel x F!Reader

CW/Tags: NOOT PROOFREAD, Age gap (Joel is like 60 sum I think but reader is unspecified), crybaby reader, glasses STAY ON 🤤, cockwarming (eventual riding), drowsy reader, clingy reader (im projecting 💔), praise, pet names, no y/n, domestic vibe, quick boot humping, reader has hair (type and length r up 4 interpretation), fingers in the readers mouth, tummy bulge (RELEASE ME), Raw but pullout method is used, Small mention of feeling around teeth (not detailed)

A/N!: “Geto next” so I’m a big fat liar. Don’t even freaking joke. I saw this pic and I KNEWWW I needed to write a little something (￣▽￣٥)… Kinda short bc I just got really into it.. This is more self indulgent than anything seewwwwww…. Again! Not proofread!!

~~~

Late into the night you awoke, sitting on the edge of your mattress. Feeling the weight of your body slightly sink it down. Your eyes began to adjust to the darkness as you looked around, it couldn’t have been less than 12 am. FML. Usually when you wake up in the middle of the night, you’re never able to fall back asleep.

It was a torturous sleeping pattern that you had ever since you were a child. You thought it’d get better now that you were roaming Jackson, but they just didn’t quit. So you’d usually just kind of sit in bed till 6 am and fall asleep, then get waken up only 2 or 3 hours later.. 5 if lucky.

Joel knew about this pattern, he didn’t see it because granted he was asleep, but he knew about it.

Tonight was different, sorta. You woke up around 12 like usual. But instead of wide awake, you were still a bit sleepy. Just barely hanging in between the line of knocked out and awake.

Mumbling something to yourself, you gently placed your feet against the cold hardwood floor. Stumbling through the halls all the way down to his workshop in the back.

His workshop was quiet, on the occasion he played music, but he told you how it messed with his mind and preferred silence. Which was such a foreign concept to you considering you always had your little CD player with you.

You saw the dim lighting of the room illuminate through the crack of the door. It creaked when you pushed it open. He didn’t notice. Probably his bad ear. You stood there in your oversized tattered t shirt and panties, just kind of adjusting your vision to admire him.

You didn’t know why he still had his stupid jeans on, and that big coat. Even his boots. It was like he was ready to just get up and leave at any time. But you loved it. You loved his look. But what you really loved was that he wore GLASSES. He sorta used his glasses when he was younger, but he never used them for a long time. He can see enough, but not when everything is just “too damn small fa’ me ta’ see..”. In his words atleast.

You liked them though, as much as they annoyed him, you enjoyed seeing them adorn his face. You thought it made him look dashing with the orangish-red frames.

It took him a good 5 minutes of you just standing there for him to notice. He jolted a bit, twitching before realizing it was just you. He really needs to get his reflexes in check… Being alone with you, in the same room or not, made his reflexes shut down by 60%.

“Good lord angel you almost ga’me a whole heart attack..”

He grumbled, not mad just shocked.

“Couldn’t sleep?..”

You nodded. Rubbing your eye while making your way over to him. Settling by his leg under the table.

Joel looked down to see you hugging his lower leg. Arms wrapped around the muscle and cheek resting against his knee. He looked at you warmly, eyes sleepy, but his eyes were always like that so it wasn’t too far off.

He stared at you for a moment, and you stared back. Just sitting there while dozing in and out of consciousness. He loved your sleepy expression. It seemed very vulnerable to him. His calloused hand ran down to stroke your hair, no fingers running through, just to pat your head like some kind of pet.

You relished in the attention. It wasn’t straightforward. Well it was but in a kind of domestic way. You liked when he acted all domestic with you. Your fingers stretched around his leg and stroked along the jean fabric.

“Just what are ya’ tryin’ get into lil’ lady?..”

He chuckled, it wasn’t in an annoyed way. It was kind of warm the way he said it.

“Nothin’..”

Your tone drowned and dragged.

You slightly adjusted your body to get a tighter grip. The action making your barely covered core slide over the top of his boot. You whined. But he just thought it was one of those sleepy noises people would make.

“Right.. Jus’ go to sleep sweet’art..”

He rubbed your cheek with his thumb. Admiring how the fat would bunch up when pressed against any kind of surface.

He brought his hand back up to the table and continued to read whatever instructions were given. Or whatever small little thing he had to put together. You could hear his huffs and the sound of paper crumbling because it was so quiet. The sounds of the night didn’t provide much background noise anyway.

You stayed there for a moment. Not doing much except admiring how he looked from below. Something you’d done many times before but never get tired of it.

Even though you were on the edge of knocking out. Something was even stronger. Feeling the top of his boot pressed firmly against your pussy, which was already getting warm and wet by the moment.

That was just GREAT. You didn’t wanna bother him, that’s annoying. And he already told you to go to sleep, plus his concentration would be in RUINS if he had noticed you grinding up against the leather. So you fought. You fought the urge to move. But you were slowly losing the fight.

The urge was too much to ignore. It started to hurt the more you ignored it. You whispered “sorry..” before slowly repositioning yourself at the foot of the boot. Just slightly going back and forth so he wouldn’t notice. And he didn’t. He didn’t even bat an eye the first time. So you imagined he wouldn’t notice the second time.

And the second turned into the 5th, then the 16th.. Then it became a pattern. You’d rub yourself back and forth on the tip, friction providing you with enough pleasure to not need him just yet. You felt your mouth fall agape with no noise coming out as to not let him hear. The grip on his leg got tight, something you couldn’t control.

Truth be told. Joel knew. He wasn’t stupid, and he sure wasn’t deaf. The sound of clothes and quiet whines didn’t go through his head blankly. Plus he already felt your cunt pressed against his foot, it wasn’t paralyzed or nothing. He knew, it stuck with him, and went right down South. His brows knitted together as he decided to let you know he knew. Bouncing his left leg up and down, pretending to just use it as a habit.

The sudden pressure of you pushing down and him bouncing up making you let out a guttural whine. Eyes closing as you bit your lip. He definitely caught you now.

He looked down, pretending to be oblivious.

“What the hell was all that about?.. Didn’t ya’ say you weren’t doin’ ‘nothin’..”

He mocked you. You were caught red handed. You felt your face get hot as you shook your head. Resting it against his knee but you didn’t stop grinding. You were way past that point. And he sure wasn’t gonna stop bouncing his leg. He leaned back, pushing his glasses up his nose, watching you grind pitifully against the boot while hugging his leg tightly. A grin appeared, not condescendingly, but smiling warmly down at you. Like telling you it was alright.

Pouting out your bottom lip, with those glossy eyes.. You continued to grind. Chasing the high you had before, yet now it was more intense because he finally realized you were here. Mouth falling open you bit his knee, teeth rubbing against the rough denim texture while trying to keep your mind straight. You knew it was futile thought. Every time, it seemed like pleasure would totally take control of your mind and that is all that you could even think about. More pleasure, more heat, more of him. It was all centered around that pleasurable experience.

You watched as he bit his bottom lip, hand going over his mouth. As well as the growing bulge in his jeans. You continued to move, and he continued to bounce. You looked dazed. Partially because of the sleep.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?..”

He joked. No smile, no chuckle, just a dry huff. But you knew he was joking, you knew he was messing with you.

“Mhm.. Yeah”

“Need my help?”

“Y-yeAh..”

Your voice cracked when it hit that spot again. You just ran your hips in circles. I mean. You felt on edge, but it wasn’t getting you there. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough. You wished it was but it was never enough without him.

The look on your face tugged at his heart strings. That sad, pathetic look in your eyes only made him itch more and more. He knew that look all too well. He knew it like the back of his hand.

He sighed, not annoyed just in a ‘I give in’ way.

“Up ya go..”

Mumbling. Reaching down for you and lifting you by your underarms. You whined at the loss. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

He flipped you around so your back rested firmly against his chest. He brought his right hand over to the side of your face. The middle and pointer finger pushing against the plumpness of your lips.

You opened up your mouth, letting them slowly side into your mouth. He first felt around at your teeth, pressing them against your canines, incisors, then your molars. He had this weird thing about feeling around your teeth, you didn’t know why. Then he rested them against your tongue, the weight of them relaxing you and lulling you to sleep.

Slowly you wrapped your lips fully around them. He felt the warm, wet feeling engulf his digits and your tongue swirling around. He kissed your cheek and under the eye.

And as soon as they were in, they were out. He dragged them out as slow as possible, leaving a line of spit connecting before he brought that hand down to your panties. Slipping the wet fingers past your fabric and touching your own wetness. He bit the inside of his bottom lip. Rubbing his erection on your ass. Perv. But you were too.

“Did my boot really do allat to ‘ya? Guess ‘ya don’t need me no more..”

He teased. But your mind could barely register a joke and not a joke. You shook your head, leg tensing when his fingers circled your clit.

“Mm-mm.. No way..”

You reached behind yourself and palmed his growing bulge. He laughed. His hands leaving you, gently pushing your hand out of the way and going down to his zipper. Losing his grip on it a few times before finally getting it down. He pulled his jeans and boxers down at the same time and watched it hit his stomach. He saw the bead of glossy precum fall down and he groaned. Even at his old, prehistoric age, when he was with you he was able to get hard like he was in his 20’s again.

“What’dya need to sleep darlin’? ‘Cause I think I know, but I wanna hear ‘ya say it.. Loud and proud baby..”

Your pout pushing out your bottom lip. Words weren’t your strong suit in this type of mindset. I mean, you were already in some kinda subspace, and then combined with your drowsiness. It was a disaster in your mind. If you knocked on your skull, it’d sound like a coconut.

“Wan’ it inside.. Jus’ in.. No moving..”

He nodded.

“Go figure. Wanna feel all warm inside huh? That it, ain’t it?”

Like I said. He knew you like the back of his hand.

You nodded too. In a millisecond he lifted you up higher and pushed your panties to the side. Spreading your legs with his ankle so he could get in easier. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear to brace you for it. Thick and girthy like always. A blessing but a major pain.

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes and you breathed in all shaky and heavy. He shushed you and kissed your eye. Making sure that tear never went too far down.

You felt full immediately. Your walls adjusting to his size. Initially, it was just pain. After the initial pain, it was replaced by aching, sobbing pleasure.

“I’ve gotta work now. So sleep.”

He patted your stomach. Feeling the bulge where his cock rested.

The feeling at first was hard to adjust to. In the outside you looked collected but inside you were about to lose it all. You watched infront of you as his hands carefully and calculated, worked at the small wires and gears infront of him. He looked so used to it. Like he too wasn’t kissing your cervix.

He was dangerously deep, like. Almost too much to handle deep. Tears spilled from your eyes as you tried to not mess up his concentration. Also promising him you would let him work and you just wanted him inside. Because you did. You just didn’t realize how hard it would be to do something like that.

It seemed so easy when described. But in practice, it was a major pain. Your hands rested in your lap and your head flew back against his chest. Still staring down while he worked with tweezers as if those same fingers weren’t feeling around your tongue a moment ago.

It felt like you two were becoming one. With how deep he was inside, you wouldn’t doubt it.

It had been no more than 5 or so minutes before you started practically sobbing from not being able to move. You looked down at your trembling legs on top of his own. Cold wet drops fell down onto the skin of your thighs. He shook his head.

“Now you told me you just wanted to sit on it? Don’t go cryin’ angel..”

His lips grazed your cheek. His beard and mustache pricking your skin. He kissed away the tears that couldn’t and wouldn’t stop falling.

“Hurts..”

“Aw I know, I know. It’s alright sweet’art. It’ll take me no more than 20 minutes..”

He stopped and went back to his work. It PISSED you off how easily he could do that. Like this was something he did all the time. Something he was used to. Annoying old bastard.

Those 20 minutes felt like a whole 20 years of just pain and anguish. A drop of sweat fell down your forehead when you tried to keep it together. And mind you, the waterworks didn’t stop.

It was hell honestly if you could call it that.

You felt pathetic. Everything in your body was telling your to move, to give into your desires and go against your own word. As much as you wanted to. You just couldn’t. You didn’t wanna and every fiber in your body was telling you not to.

Maybe it was the fear of disappointing him, maybe it was just you being stubborn, probably a mix of both. And believe me, you wanted to move. Your hands gripped the fabric of his jeans with a fever he knew. He knew because he’d seen the sheets do that more than once. He bit his tongue. He also wanted to give in.

To grip your hips, dig his fingers into the flesh of your skin and have you bounce on him right at that moment. But he just couldn’t, he was strong to his word. Stubborn in simple and informal terms. Wasn’t helping that he couldn’t exactly focus with his dick all up in your walls.

He played it cool. Making it look like he didn’t feel you squirming. Making it look like he was actually reading the instructions and piecing together the gears to the wires. In reality, he was totally fucking around. You didn’t know what kinda work he did, so it was easy for him to play it off like he was actually getting something done. You both were stubborn, and weren’t gonna go back on your word just for a minute.

He turned his face to the clock, praying silently that the 20 minutes passed, and they did. He took the deepest sigh ever, like he had just come back from a battlefield.

Dramatically he dropped his tweezers and gadgets. Letting them scramble on his scratched up table before gripping your hips with a dangerous glint in his eye.

“You did great lil’ lady.. Absolutely fuckin’ perfect..”

You looked back at him. Eyes already red and puffy from nothing. He leaned his head down to your shoulder. Lips kissing your skin with desperation. His glasses getting pushed up and fogged.

“You can move now...”

You gripped his thighs. He hissed feeling your nails. As soon as you even lifted yourself up slightly you felt like you were about to cum. Shaking your head to deny yourself you kept up to ride him.

Loud and pathetic moans left your mouth in the quiet of the night. Brows furrowed with a type of relief you hadn’t felt in a long time. You weren’t even edging, but it sure felt like it.

He watched it. Letting his strained back lean against the chair. Hand running through his hair and readjusting his glasses so he could see this in full and clear view. His right hand ran up under your tank top, lifting it from the bottom. His calloused and tough palm gripped your boob. Massaging it in his hand. He could feel how hard your nipples were on his palm.

With every bounce you felt him reach just ever so deeper. You could even see the bulge in your stomach. It pissed you off.

Every twitch felt 20x more aggressive, 20x more sweet, and 20x more powerful. You almost lost your grip on his thighs a few times because of how wet your hands were. You regretted wiping your eyes. URGH STUPID.

He noticed the crying, obviously. It had been going on for the past 30 sum minutes. Ever since you placed it inside, he watched just how much you could cry. He wondered how your tear ducts weren’t all dried up. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but he liked it. Not in a weird sadistic way, he wasn’t a perv like that. But in a way that made you seem so vulnerable. In a way that was like “I feel so good I’ll just start crying bc my emotions r too much”. He liked it. He liked it because it was real.

Letting go of your breast, his slapped your hip. Not hard enough to leave a mark, just a warning.

“Therreeee we go.. You were just itchin’ for this moment weren’t ya angel?..”

You nodded pitifully. FML FML FML. You never usually felt this pathetic. He didn’t see that in his eyes. But you did. That contributed to the tears. You couldn’t lie though, around him, you kinda liked feeling pathetic. In a sorta, open way.

You tried to think hard about that in the moment. But the only thing reaching through your mind was needing that dick. The sound of rustling jeans, and the feeling of jeans against your bare ass, added a nice friction.

“Pretty pussy.. It feelin’ alright?..”

You could hear he tilted his head to the side. Your head turned back to see him. Nodding lazily like you were just a bobble head.

“Mhm.. I hate doin’ that.. Never never again..”

Words babbled between high pitched whines and echoing moans. You could feel your legs trembling and tightening over and over again because of your pleasure and nearing orgasm.

He chuckled at your words. Tapping your tummy again right where he felt his tip.

“Didn’t like it much either. Almost didn’t last..”

He admitted under his breath. You heard a few words. But most of them were filtered out of your mind. And hard to hear because of how loud you were being.

You didn’t want the whole community to hear you. But you couldn’t help it. Every pound into you made.

“Full.. Full..”

You cried. He patted your tummy again. Sort of calculating how deep he reached you. And when he managed to see how much he dug into you, his cock twitched.

“Good observation sweetie..”

Quickly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him. Back pressed tightly against his chest. He bearhugged you so tight your felt your ribs almost crush in. It was a perk, and a pain. When he pulled you closer the tears just got worse. The overwhelming feelings twitching your legs up.

It didn’t stop you though. You kept riding him like it would kill you if you stopped. His glasses began to get fogged up again due to his heavy breathing. Head falling back and his glasses pushed into his eyes. The lens touching his eyelids as he basked in the feeling of your tight, warm walls squeezing him dry.

Biting your bottom you kept riding him like a total psycho. If anyone were to see the faces you made in the moment you would just have to kill yourself.

You felt a sort of twisting in your stomach

“Imma cum… I wanna..”

He heard your plea and placed used one hand to grip your jaw. Holding open your mouth with just a hint of aggression. You noticed that when he was on the verge of cumming, his grip got tighter, his jaw clenched, and his voice was strained.

“Cum with me.. Do it with me baby..”

He kept your mouth open, his pointer finger slipping into your mouth.

Not long after he commanded you to do it with him. You did. Your orgasm hitting your like pebbles, but quickly turned to a whole bunch of boulders being thrown at your head. You felt your mind spin and your legs tremble. Then turn into jelly as it rushed over you. Everything felt unreal. And usually sensitive.

Not long after, maybe a minute after he came too. Just before he came he lifted you up. Pulling himself out just in time so his seed spurted all over your upper body. You watched it come out in strings of clear white. Painting your skin like a donut.

You both rid out your highs. Letting yourself grind against the upside of his cock, while he blissfully enjoyed the feeling of your swollen lips on his.

It felt completely well needed. After having to endure the pain that is cockwarming for a while. A long sigh left his mouth. As did yours.

Both your breathing patterns began to match with each others. Every exhale and inhale was lined perfectly with one another’s.

He let his finger out of your mouth. Watching as it was drenched in your spit. He rubbed it against his coat. Making sure all his fingers were dry before rubbing the underside of your eyes from all the salty tears.

“Ya need me to get a rag?..”

He grumbled. The lens of them a bit foggy from your head being pushed up against them. So he couldn’t see much clearly. But he could see the mess he made on your body.

“No.. No no.. Wait wait..”

Your voice scratchy from all your whining. You didn’t want him to move, and didn’t think he could move.

It stayed quiet. It always did after sex.

He kissed your eye again. A little ode to how much he cared.

He could finish those projects tomorrow morning. If you didn’t try this again.

E.N: HOLY NICHE 💔🕊️. It was kinda hard for me to write from this position since I hadn’t done it before. Especially cockwarming. So I’ll have to work on that!! (٥⁀▽⁀ ). I really hope this was a good read, reblogs, notes, and comments l appreciated!! XOXO - Mimi

[moonwoodhollow]

HOHENZOLLERN ALLEE 72-76

a German-inspired 1950s apartment build + a furnished flat

A build download that was in the works for almost a month and made me realise how much I love building local architecture even though it's not the easiest within the constraints of TS4.

It's meant to represent a realistic German apartment build, that is a bit run down and yet still feels homey and nostalgic to those of us growing up near or in these buildings. There's one furnished flat that is ideal for 2-3 sims and furnished in a retro 60s-90s look, that I hope you'll enjoy! This is also a BIG 1K followers gift, with which I want to show my deepest appreciation to all my followers, thank you so much!!

More info, screenshots + DL link behind the cut!

First a little history/backstory to this build:

This build is something you'd see very often in Middle to Northern Europe, less so in the UK, because brick builds there look similar but also different and I based my build off of Northern German brick builds.

The red brick used for these builds dominates the townscapes in quite a few cities where I live and has been used for a few centuries (see Brick Gothic). This build that I based on a real building, however, is more modern and was probably built after WW2, as the design choices, like using tiles on the facades of brick builds is something distinctively 1950s. I know there are older examples, but these buildings usually have more design and decor elements on the facades. These red brick builds were built en masse starting with the 1920s and were usually meant for low-income households. The same goes for the 1950s brick builds, which were built on top of ruins of older buildings destroyed in the war and oftentimes were cheaply constructed and usually don't receive the same appreciation that older pre-war brick builds get, so quite a few are already being demolished for more modern builds.

So what do you get with this build?

Hohenzollernallee 72-76 is a 40x30 lot that I placed in Evergreen Harbor on the Sprucewood Square lot. I created 2 versions of the building, one as a normal residential lot and another as a residential rental. Just choose whatever you want! There are 6 different flats, that have been renovated at different times, which is apparent from the condition of their kitchen and bathroom.. Each flat has its own basement room and the garden is shared between all tenants and there's a shared laundry room in the basement as well.

You'll also have a restaurant shell, the Burger Lab that is not functional currently, but you could make it so if you want.

The furnished flat is playtested and ideal for 2-4 sims max and is heavily 'lived in', meaning very cluttered. I personally see an older woman living there, whose husband already died and her daughter left as soon she turned 18, but the interior was never changed or renovated. I don't know, you could probably come up with a lot of story ideas!

CC is mostly included. You'll find an Excel file with the specific file names and the dl link for all CC that is not included. The build will probably still look okay-ish without the excluded CC but I strongly recommend downloading it, if you do not already have it.

Thank you, especially to these lovely creators: @budgie2budgie, @sforzinda, @surely-sims, @pluto-sims, @syboubou.

@myshunosun, @charlypancakes, @peacemaker-ic, @kkbsmm, @leaf-motif

@awingedllama, @kirsicca, @baufive, @lumenniveus, @kiwisim4 and many more!! it's because of you that this build looks the way it does <3

Uses items from the following packs: For Rent, Growing Together, High School Years, Cottage Living, Snowy Escape, Eco Lifestyle, Discover University, Island Living, Get Famous, Seasons, Cats and Dogs, City Living, Get Together, Get To Work, Werewolves, My Wedding Stories, Dreamhome Decorator, Strangerville, Vampires, Dine Out, Tiny Living, Laundry Day, Backyard Stuff, (Kits): Party Essentials, Basement Treasures, Greenhouse Haven, Bathroom Clutter, Everyday Clutter, Desert Luxe, Little Campers, Décor to the Max, Industriel Loft & Courtyard Oasis

Download: Google Drive | also up on the gallery: aeromantica (but you'll need the cc files from the Drive folder!)

-> Info: I tried to not include merged files, but there are about 3-5 that I missed, sorry :(

TOU: please don’t claim as your own or put behind paywalls etc. If you find any issues (wrong files, etc.) please let me know + tag me if you’ll use the house, I’d love to see it in your games.

[caramelkoo]

my soul back home. [1]

pairing : Jungkook X reader

genre : frenemies to lovers, writer!jungkook, pilates instructor!oc.

summary : your best friend receives your wedding invitation and realizes he doesn't have much time left before he loses you once and for all.

warnings : slight angst, they fight over a packet of pasta, bickering, oc is a pilates girly yayyy, Jungkook is super protective of the oc, misogyny, body positivity, strong language, hate at first sight.

a/n : heyy my besties, i just wanted to show my gratitude to all of you who read my last work. im so so so grateful to each one of you. it's almost 2am for me and i just couldn't wait to share this. Enjoy and let me know how you like it. xoxo. 💕

༺♡༻

6 years ago

Jungkook's growling stomach diverts his attention from the five page essay he's been trying to work on but barely has written a word. Blaming it on his hunger, he gets and up and decides to make himself some white sauce pasta also known as his comfort food. His mom used to make him when he was a child back in the days just so he can get done with his homework without making her work for it.

When he got into a fight in seventh standard and came back home with a nasty cut under his lip, his mom made it again. It's been his go to ever since.

"Shit" as soon as he enters the kitchen though, he realizes that he ran out of pasta last week when his friends came over.

Picking up his car keys he drives up to his closest supermarket. The lady behind the counter smiling at him as per usual. She must be around 60 year old and every time Jungkook has stopped by to pick anything up, she has been super sweet to him. Not to mention how badly she wants him to meet her granddaughter. He wonders if her granddaughter knows about her grandmother trying to set her up with a stranger.

"How you doin' today, boy?"

"Hey miss Cathy, you having a good day?"

"So far so good" Jungkook walks further inside the store and searches for the pasta packet he came here for. When he spots it, he reaches for it unaware of the hand that goes for the very same packet.

The vanilla and caramel like scent hits him like a truck and when he looks beside him, he freezes. The girl which stares back at him has brown hair which matches the color of her striking eyes. There are freckles all over her nose and cheekbones making it look like a group of stars decided to make a home there on her face. Her glossy lips are parted in surprise, her almond shaped eyes wide. Why does he feel warm all of a sudden? Is the air conditioner off?

"hello?" her voice breaks him off his trance. The girl's eyes have gone narrower now.

"I need the packet." He hears her say again. As beautiful as she might be and as badly as he wanted to get on his knees and.. no !! not going there, he couldn't let her take the pasta. Not when it's about his essay. if he doesn't finish it soon his professor is going to have his head on a platter.

"Oh no no no no no no, I need this and I saw it first so I'm getting this"

"Okay first of all that doesn't make any sense. People can see it things from outside the store, does that mean they own it? plus can you not buy it from some other store?"

now he was getting irritated. she had the audacity to look so gorgeous and on top of that she was fighting over a pasta packet?

"It does. No matter how badly you need it, I need it more."

The girl takes a step forward, "Listen, I have no idea what do you need it for and not that I'm interested but I have to make my little sister her favorite pasta with extra cheese or she is not going to leave me and my boyfriend alone."

See, Jungkook is a simple guy. He likes something and he goes for it. If it was some other place, maybe his college or a restaurant, he would have approached the gal and asked for her number oh so politely but this right here? It's a war and he hates losing. No matter how cute the opponent is.

"I'm sure you can persuade her with a popsicle or two. you can find them at the counter right there" he points towards the counter. "Now let me have the pasta because I need to eat my weight in it so that I can finish my essay and be done with it, alright?"

She scoffs, "You're infuriating you know that?"

"Heard somebody call me that once but I believe they were looking for the word 'lovable'" he shrugs and snatches the packet before making his way to the counter silently hoping miss Cathy does not mention her granddaughter again.

The pretty girl yells behind him, "HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU? 5?"

He places the item on the counter and pays the amount before walking out of the store. God, he was starving. Much to his disappointment, someone calls him out.

"Boy, wait!!!" Fuck, it's Miss Cathy again.

He turns towards her forcing himself to smile, "Yes, ma'am?"

"You know my granddaughter-"

"Miss Cathy, I wish I could give you a minute but I'm actually in a hurry. You see, my brother is visiting with his two year old and it's been a long journey for him and he's starving and I need to-"

Jungkook tried his best to lie through his teeth, he really does until a voice interrupts him. That very same voice.

"Really now? And here I thought somebody was so hungry, they started twitching just by the thought of someone else having that packet of pasta" the pretty girl in yellow sundress folds her arm over chest. "Does she know her tits push up when she does that?" Jungkook thinks.

She continues, "Grans, I didn't know you let liars into your shop?"

Wait, WHAT?! Did she just call Miss Cathy "Grans"? Would you look at that? They weren't lying about the world being small. Who would have guess that the girl he's been trying to avoid is the same girl he can't ever avoid for the life of him.

Miss Cathy's loud wheeze echoes through the store, "Trust me y/n, he's a good fella. Jungkook, this is my granddaughter, y/n. The prettiest, my girl."

She looks so proud while introducing her and rightfully so, if she were his, he would also take pride in that. Minus the pasta fight, though. The thought scares the shit out of him and maybe that's why he runs. His feet move rapidly not stopping until he's facing his car in the parking lot.

How the hell did he even let that thought enter his mind? One minute he was sneering at her and now he wanted to make her his? He began imagining what would it be like to call her, his? Quickly starting the engine he drives himself to his apartment. Later that night, he takes a cold shower and fucks his hand while thinking about the same vanilla and caramel scent.

༺♡༻

present time

Jungkook has always loved being alone, his solitude has been something which he absolutely appreciated. Being the eldest son of his family he's been the one to pick up everyone's pieces but when it came to him, nobody served that purpose so he ran. Ran away from his home, from the chaos, the noise and most importantly the responsibilities. That's not to say that he's a quitter but when you have a father sitting on your chest all the time and making it extremely hard for you to live your life, you might as well be called one. He chose his peace and he does not regret anything about it.

Unfortunately though, he left something very precious back home and as much as it hurt him to do so, he knew he couldn't not escape.

The room is quiet enough that he can hear his heart beating straight out of his chest and his breathing turning ragged. When he came back from his early morning run he did not expect to find a wedding invitation in the mail box. he wasn't even planning on checking the damn mailbox if it wasn't for the small part of him wanting to do so.

The man had the whole day planned and now he was standing in the middle of the hall feeling like somebody dropped a huge rock on his chest and said "deal with it" with a piece of paper in his hand he can't wait to burn or tear into pieces. He needs to sit down.

He unlocks his phone and finds your number at the very top of his dial list. You guys were talking last night only about your studio being renovated and it confuses him to the core as to why you didn't mention anything about your wedding.

"Hey, what's up?" your voice greets him, cheery as always.

"You're getting married?" the words seem bitter on his tongue.

"Oh my god, finally. You got the invitation" a dagger through his stomach would hurt less right now. He runs his fingers through his hair, messing them up and continues.

"Were you ever going to tell me about it?"

"No because I wanted it to be a surprise. I asked Taehyung and Cynthia to do the same as well. Aren't you glad you happened to check your mailbox, huh?"

Jungkook blinks, once and then again. He was having a hard time comprehending all of this. Hadn't he checked the mailbox, would you have gotten married and never told him about it? He was going to throw up. When he replies his voice is brittle.

"Listen, can i call you again? I need to run some errands"

"Sure, but don't-" he hangs up and runs to the bathroom before emptying his stomach.

༺♡༻

5 years ago

Sweat drips down from your forehead, your chest moves up and down from how fast your breathing has gone. A moan slips out as you spread your legs a bit wider.

"Just one more aaaaand perfect. Now release" the Pilates instructor's voice reaches to your wet ears. You place yourself down on the mat.

"Fuck, she'll kill me one of these days" Your routine has already been fucked up because of your college exams and after finally being fed up of sticking your nose in the books, you had decided to get on with Pilates. You fell in love with it a year ago.

After working your body in the gym and realizing that high intensity workouts are no good for you, you gave low intensity workouts a chance and boom! The clouds parted and now you're almost in the best shape of your life.

You have never loved your body as much as you do now and if your 13 year old self could look at you, she'd give you a pat on the back. She wouldn't believe that people no longer make fun of her for not having thigh gap or slender arms. Indeed, it took several lunges, roll ups, spine twists, ab burners to get there.

It's not like you have the most anime like body, no. But you have finally stopped beating yourself up over it, accepting the fact that people's negative opinions are just a reflection of their own insecurities.

Your phone pings with a notification and you pick it up. It's the guy you've recently began talking to on hinge. Your boyfriend, now ex, broke up few months ago because he suddenly thought sleeping with his manager would be something you'd look past. Clearly, he was wrong and now he can choke on a thorny dick for all you care.

When your best friend, Cynthia had suggested to join a dating app just for the plot, you did it. Besides, what more could go wrong? An hour of swiping left and two cups of coffee later, you came across a guy with pictures of a guitar, a black cat and a chess board. In your defense, his cat was cute.

The texts reads, "Are you free on the upcoming Saturday? My buddy said there's a new coffee shop and they sell the best hazelnut frappe in existence."

You think before replying. According to the stats, it's the ninth day since you have started talking. Isn't it too soon to be going on a date? Although, there is a small part of you who wants to say "fuck it" and go. Before your thoughts go spiraling you go with the latter.

"Sure. Hazelnut frappe is my favorite" locking your phone you prepare to take a long hot bath. After all, you've earned it.

༺♡༻

Turns out the nerdy guys possessing a hobby of playing chess are not worth it. At least this one isn't. You wonder if you killed a bunch of kittens in your past life because seriously? When you said yes to the date two days ago, the thing you expected the least was your date constantly talking about how many hours he spends in the gym, which protein shake he drinks, even mansplaining about the NHL team he's been obsessed with. Guess you should have seen it coming from the way he couldn't even wait till ten days to ask you on a date.

Honestly, whenever you go on dates you can't help but expect the other person to be on their worst behavior. For example, you can expect the guy to dress badly, smell badly, show up late or conventionally not show up at all. This guy right here is outright insane and has failed to stay in his lane. You were getting agitated at this point.

"And then BOOM!! he shoots the most legendary shot of his life. This is what happens at NHL, you-" he stops when you stand up from your place.

"Excuse me, I'll just be back in a second" you place the napkin on the table as you grab your purse hoping the washroom has a secret exit or something.

But before you could even take a step forward, his voice stops you.

"Oh I know where this is going, You'll excuse yourself politely and then run away like some coward huh? Typical escape plan for you girls?" His voice sounds so nasty and when you turn towards him he's scowling at you like YOU'RE the one who was being a twat the whole time.

you mumble, "What do you mean?"

He stands up and walks towards you. You really try to ignore people staring at you but you're only human. The sudden rush of emotions have caused your mouth to go dry. It's hard to process what's happening.

"What I mean is that you're probably gonna go in there, call your best friend and ask her to help you escape because you can't stand another second with me" he raises his right eyebrow up.

"Sir, please you're causing trouble for everyone. I suggest you to please sit down"

This is beyond embarrassing. If you were planning to give this guy another chance earlier, there's no way in hell you're going to do that now. Over your dead body. So you do the only thing that makes perfect sense. Your hands fly and you hit his cheek with so much force, you swear you hear his jaw pop.

There are several gasps around you. If you're going to get booed on, you might as well make the most out of it.

His face turns sideways before he stands up straight. He raises his hand to hit you back but suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand grabs his forearm and yanks it away. You instantly know who it is. It's the same arm you wanted to twist a year back at the grocery store.

"Get your filthy fucking hands away from her"

After an year of trying to forget about him, he's here yet again and he's saving you from this asshole. You couldn't decide if you should be thrilled about him coming at your rescue or worried about him being back.

[bennysblabbering]

NSFW Headcanons: Stampede

(98 coming soon!)

Ft. Vash, Wolfwood, Knives, Meryl

I may add Legato and Roberto if people want them lol.

Vash

• Definitely either afab or intersex. Does not have a human dick. I like the idea of him (and Nai) having genitals that look like a vulva by default but have a plant-like structure that can extend out of the clitoral hood capable of penetrating.

Something that looks like this or this. I think his would be around 6 inches.

• I also think plants would have no nipples or navels, and no body hair from the neck down.

• Either a sub or a soft & loving dom. Would literally rather die than be mean or degrading.

• Probably 60/40 bottom/top, he just likes to feel good and make his partner feel good. When he bottoms, he prefers it vaginally. Not a huge fan of anal, but he'll occasionally indulge his partner if they want that.

• Loves scissoring/tribbing if he has an afab partner. Will absolutely beg and whine to rub pussies when he's in the mood for it.

• King of squirting. Could win a fucking contest. When he cums, it gets real messy with all the slick and squirt he's released everywhere. (Not that he minds...he likes it messy.) Also, his markings glow when he cums really hard.

• Usually starts out with just quiet whimpers and whines, simply from just being self-conscious. Once he starts to feel more comfortable and trusting, those whines turn into full moans.

-

Wolfwood

• His dick's about average girth and roughly 7 inches. The perfect length of not too big, not too small. Feels incredible in all the right spots. Uncut, too, and loves to twitch and leak. Really responsive to stimulation.

• Has only ever dommed before. He'd be hesitant to sub, simply due to his closed-off nature, but he might be willing to once he really trusts someone. Despite what it might seem like, his default is soft and affectionate, but he will absolutely be rough and dirty if you ask. (In fact, he prefers it rough and dirty.)

• In the same vein, he's also only topped. Probably wouldn't be too huge of a fan of bottoming but he'd be fine with trying it. Likes to be fingered, though- put a finger up his ass while sucking him off and he's a goner.

• Likes to experiment and willing to try most things at least once. If you've got a kink or fetish, he'll indulge you- he likes to see you turned on, and it's possible you'll convert him to be into it too.

• Obsessed with watching his cum drip down your skin or ooze out of your hole. It makes him feel possessive and swell with pride.

• A pussy/ass-eating god. Gets real down and dirty, pins you by the thighs and just mercilessly goes to fucking town. His tongue is so skilled it'll make you cum every time, especially since his scruff feels amazing when it rubs against your skin.

-

Knives

• (Go back to Vash's section to read how I headcanon plant genitals/bodies)

• His...we'll call it a stem? would be around 7.5 inches. Just a bit bigger than Vash.

• 100% dom. Would rather have his arms and legs cut off than sub.

• Actually really likes to bottom, doesn't really care which hole. He does top though; he honestly has no preference. But if he's topping you, you better prepare yourself to have a sore hole and bruises all over your body.

• Big degrader. Can't bring himself to be soft or loving. The nicest he can be is neutral. But if you like being called a "stupid fucking slut" or "filthy cock-addicted human" then he's your man.

• Not very vocal, but loves to growl and groan. He'll lean over you and growl possessively right into your ear to intimidate you.

• Also he would absolutely use his knives for weapon play. Gently drags them along your skin and finds your nervous shaking incredibly arousing. Might even lightly wrap them around you and get hard at the sight of you paralyzed in fear.

-

Meryl

• Prettiest fucking pussy in the world. Cute little pink folds topped with a perfectly kissable bud. She keeps the hair trimmed but not entirely shaved.

• Complete switch when it comes to dynamics, she can't just pick one. She loves both subbing and domming. She has a size difference kink specifically when she doms, though- she loves to control people significantly larger than her (which...is most people. She's 4'9.)

• Loves to bottom but will top for the right person. Definitely has a preference though. She can't help it, she loves the feeling of her tight cunt being pounded.

• Cums at the drop of a fucking hat. She'll cum at least 2-3 times a night when having sex. Earth-shattering orgasms, too. Her entire body thrashes and her moans border on screaming.

• Loves to get fucked in missionary the best. She loves to wrap her legs around her partner's waist, lay back and hold the pillow, and feel them railing her deep inside. She actually really likes it fast and hard.

• When topping, she likes to dirty talk and play a little rough. Loves to spank, pull hair, bite and mark up, all that good stuff. By the end of the night, her partner will know they're hers.

[songoftrillium]

Likes don’t increase visibility to others! Please reblog this to spread the word! 

I think Werewolf is an inherently queer medium

This is all a part of a larger long-term project.

I am trying to hold the World of Darkness to higher standards of inclusivity

Read our introductory comic here

Werewolf: the Essentials Project Update 04/02/2025

Hello, Kinfolks. Woof. What a time to be alive. This is a period that's been reflected many, many times in the past under many different names. It seems like every time I pick up my phone there is always some new awful thing awaiting us. The intentional composition of the writers on this team are diverse and come from cultures across the world, and what ties us together has been our queerness, our passion for Werewolf, and our commitment to let our passions fuel our writing. The result has been a product that shows the passion from one page to the next.

In short, the state of the world has impacted the pace at which we're working on the book. The priority right now is survival, and surviving is the task that has consumed most of the attentions of those helping with W:tE. It should come as no surprise that people who passionately care about Werewolf also care about the world around them at large, and that is exactly what many of us are doing.

All the same, what's agreed between everyone on the team is that we all feel the work we're doing matters, and in many ways it can be a good way to keep one busy when the other option is the good-old doomscroll. And so, work is still happening, and beyond that, its starting to pick up again.

So, what work remains?

Writing

Writing is more or less finished. Editing is ongoing and as small issues or missing mechanics come up we've been working them in. Chapters 1-7 are complete, and Chapter 8, our storytelling and chronicle section, is in its last few pages before calling it done. We have a small number of writers still working on this, and so far we're looking at 100 Rite of Passage Story Seeds, and 40-60 Cliath Story Seeds. All in all we're handing Storytellers enough game material to be able to keep their tables plenty busy for at least a year of weekly game sessions. Also as a spitball number, by the time this book hits shelves we are looking to be at around 450 pages.

Layout

We are at the 75% complete mark! Chapter 6 of 8 is underway. Due to an influx of support, we're able to have one of our editors pick up work on a more daily basis, so this process should similarly be speeding up in the immediate future. It always feels like the work is neverending, but slowly and surely we're making progress. I've promised myself once this book enters preflight I'm taking a long vacation.

Now, onto the fun stuff:

New W:tE Preview - Meet the Gaians!

With our full tribe writeups completed, we're happy to entice you with a new preview. For those ko-fi subscribers on the Fostern tier or above, you can now read not just our society and history dives, but can now see all the new tribes as written for Werewolf: the Essentials! This massive 80 page preview encompasses all twenty tribes of Gaians represented in Gulaka'i including background, territories, patron, and an all-new cultural outlook section!

All proceeds from ko-fi supporters help fund our commitment to using cultural consultants on our project!

To sign up and gain access to previews and our exclusive BTS discord to our project, subscribe to our ko-fi today! We've already raised $2,450 of our $3,500 goal!

I'd like to also extend a special thank you to my Adren and above supporters Durodragon, Tobias, Madame Badger, The Bohemian, and SmilingCoder for helping make this passion project a reality. THANK YOU!

[blue-mint-winter]

About Alyssa Targaryen

Alyssa Targaryen, daughter of Jaehaerys and Alysanne and mother of king Viserys I and Daemon the Rogue Prince, is a character recently talked about due to her brief appearance in the TV show. The fan opinions about her seem strangely very positive. She's seen as a cool character and a good mother to her sons, because she took them dragonriding soon after giving birth. In relation to her younger sisters Alyssa is also seen as the better one or lucky for having a happy marriage with her brother and avoiding a more tragic fate. Certainly she's regarded as the most successful among the daughters of Alysanne because her descendants continued the dynasty. I've seen opinions that Jaehaerys and Alysanne only failed as parents to their younger children (from Daella and younger), who caused many problems, but they raised the older ones - Aemon, Baelon, Alyssa, Maegelle and Vaegon - to become good and decent people. There are also voices that she's just another dead mother, her character is uninteresting/unimportant compared to other sisters and she only exists in the story to have sex and birth future main characters.

After I read about Alyssa in Fire and Blood I found that all of the above opinions feel distinctly off the mark, especially in regards to her good character. Alyssa came off to me as rather unpleasant, mean and obssessed with sex, however the in-universe book's author, maester Gyldayn, doesn't portray any of her bad qualities as bad or undesirable in a princess, while at the same time he's very critical of her sisters' displaying similar faults.

Instead Gyldayn's portrayal of Alyssa focuses on showing her as a good sisterwife to Baelon and mother to Viserys and Daemon. That's what maester Gyldayn and Jaehaerys' propaganda want the readers to think about Alyssa while at the same time telling them that she was the most unfeminine woman she could be. That creates a powerful dissonance while reading about her as compared to others.

This post will be an analysis of Alyssa, her role in the family built on incest and how it affected her and her siblings, her relationships with focus on Baelon and Vaegon, her behaviour and causes of it, her effect on her siblings before and after her death. There will be some extrapolation and theorizing, but I hope it's within reason and will make a coherent argument that Alyssa wasn't like what Gyldayn presents her or what many fans think she was. So buckle up, this will be a long one.

Alyssa's role in the family

Alyssa is the second daughter, but she was born after Daenerys died (in the end of the same year, 60 AC), so functionally she's the eldest daughter, but the shadow of Daenerys hangs over her. Alyssa was her replacement in her mother's eyes until Alysanne realized when Alyssa was 6 years old that she didn't take after Daenerys, but Baelon. From a young age Alyssa preferred boy activities and didn't want to spend time with other girls.

The princess did not act like a girl, however. She wore boy’s clothes when she could, shunned the company of other girls, preferred riding and climbing and dueling with wooden swords to sewing and reading and singing, and refused to eat porridge.

One fundamental, glaring difference between young Daenerys and Alyssa was exactly the type of sibling dynamic they had with Aemon and Baelon. Daenerys was their older sister, a little queen and she was bossing them around.

The young princes loved their sister to distraction, it was plain to see, and Daenerys delighted in the boys, “especially in telling them what to do.” 

Alyssa was the younger sister who was seeking her big brother's attention. She trailed after Baelon and, as it turns out later, she never really stopped.

Just as Baelon had once followed Aemon everywhere, Alyssa trailed after Baelon. “Like a puppy,” the Spring Prince complained. Baelon was two years younger than Aemon, Alyssa nearly four years younger than him…“and a girl,” which made it far worse in his eyes. 

At this point in their lives she was just an annoying younger sister to Baelon.

Daenerys was a leader of her brothers, Alyssa - their follower. Even in the role of the older sister Alyssa was nothing like Daenerys. She wasn't a leader to her own younger siblings, instead she spurned them and stayed distant from them. It's also mentioned 3 times in the book that Daenerys told her pregnant mother that she wanted a younger sister. Alyssa reacted in an opposite way to Deanerys - she didn't want anything to do with her younger sister Maegelle and refused her company.

A gentle, selfless, and sweet-natured girl, and exceedingly bright, she soon attached herself to her sister Alyssa in much the same way that Prince Baelon had attached himself to Prince Aemon, though not entirely as happily. Now it was Alyssa’s turn to bristle at having “the baby” clinging to her skirts. She evaded her as best she could, and Baelon laughed at her fury.

Alyssa's shunning of other girls and having interest in boys' activities sets her apart from her sister. Maybe it was a result of young Alyssa wanting to be different in her mother's eyes than the dead sister she never knew. Probably she just wanted to spend time playing with her brothers so she emulated them. Also, she could have noticed their close bond to their father and tried to earn his love and approval by being like them. It is noticeable that, after losing Daenerys, Jaehaerys was less involved with raising his new children.

On the surface level, it's assumed that Alyssa is just another Arya-type, but I think she has a lot more in common with Cersei in her characteristics and relationships, even though her physical description (mismatched eyes - violet and green, crooked nose after an injury) is reminiscent of Tyrion. Perhaps Alyssa's description is meant to highlight that she's Lannister-coded.

Does the parallel between Alyssa and Cersei foreshadow a similar contrast between Cersei and Daenerys Stormborn in the future books? Perhaps Daenerys will be bossing around both Jaime and Tyrion like her namesake did with Aemon and Baelon.

Alysanne and Jaehaerys announced the betrothals of their older children in 68 AC. That's when it was decided that Alyssa will not take Daenerys' place as Aemon's wife. Instead, Alysanne planned to recreate her own relationship with Jaehaerys by deciding to marry their second son to second/eldest living daughter.

“Alyssa is for Baelon,” she declared. “She has been following him around since she could walk. They are as close as you and I were at their age.”

So a 7 year old Alyssa is told by her mother that she will marry Baelon, her favourite brother, that she's meant for him. That sounds similar to Cersei's belief how she was one with Jaime, that they belonged to each other. Cersei also switched with Jaime, pretending to be him to go to swordplay lessons. Only difference is that Alyssa was encouraged to pursue a romantic relationship with her brother, while Cersei was separated from Jaime and had to keep the affair secret. Alyssa was raised to be her brother's sisterwife and giving him children was the only expectation placed on her by her parents.

The Vaegon Incident

Another similarity between Alyssa and Cersei is that they tormented their little brothers. When I read about the incident with Alyssa pouring wine on Vaegon, I thought it was rather mean and too much. He only said something insensitive to Daella. But one incident of Alyssa being mean can be excused because she defended their younger sister. On the other hand, when she tomented him again, I had to take notice:

One day, mayhaps in an attempt to spur Vaegon into making more of an effort, he brought his sister Alyssa to the yard, shining in man’s mail. The princess had not forgotten the incident of the Arbor gold. Laughing and shouting mockery, she danced around her little brother and humiliated him half a hundred times, whilst Princess Daella looked down from a window. Shamed beyond endurance, Vaegon threw down his sword and ran from the yard, never to return.

Alyssa was 14 and Vaegon was 11. He was training with Baelon for a year at the insistence of their father. The maester claims that Alyssa humiliated Vaegon so badly because of something he'd said a year ago and she'd already punished him for? Either it's true and Alyssa holds grudges like Cersei or... she just hated Vaegon. And I think it wasn't really because of Daella.

Let's rewind to the pouring wine on Vaegon incident.

“I would never marry her,” the boy said, in front of half the court. “She can barely read. She should find some lord in need of stupid children, for that’s the only sort he will ever have of her.” Princess Daella, as might be expected, burst into tears and fled the hall, with her mother, the queen, rushing after her. It fell to her sister Alyssa, at thirteen three years Vaegon’s elder, to pour a flagon of wine over his head. Even that did not make the prince repent. “You are wasting Arbor gold,” was all he said before stalking from the hall to change his clothing.

Notice that Alyssa pours wine on him, but she doesn't say anything like "this is for Daella" or "how could you say that to her". It's only maester Gyldayn's conjecture that she was defending her sister (in his efforts to paint Alyssa as the good one among her sisters and completely unlike the simple-minded, promiscous or vain and ambitious ones). Alyssa and Daella weren't close, Alyssa had no interest in hanging out with her sisters and Daella was scared of her.

Her sister Maegelle became her guiding star, and she worshipped her mother, the queen, but her sister Alyssa seemed to terrify her.

To further prove that the close sibling bond between Alyssa and Daella just didn't exist and was entirely imagined by Gyldayn, let's move on to later years. Daella died in childbirth in 82 AC, I wonder what was Alyssa's take on that if she was such a sister protector and she had her own dragon? Rhaena flew on Dreamfyre and threatened Rogar when her mother, Alyssa Velaryon, died in childbirth and that woman robbed her of the crown. There was a huge rift between Rhaena and her mother for many years and she still came to her mother's deathbed and was deeply affected by her loss. I don't hear anything about Alyssa taking Meleys to the Vale to avenge Daella. Most probably she didn't care that much about Daella. Notice how we never hear anything about her ever interacting with her sisters except that she didn't like Maegelle trailing after her when they were little. Even the so-called defense of Daella happens without Daella being present. Was it really about her at all or was Alyssa just dunking on Vaegon because she had a good pretext? I think the answer is obvious.

If defending Daella wasn't the motivation for the first Vaegon incident then what could have caused Alyssa to lash out at him?

I think it was because Vaegon rebelled against the sibling marriage that was forced on him by their parents.

“Be sweet to your little sister,” King Jaehaerys told the prince when he was five. “One day she will be your Alysanne.”

So Vaegon was told that he's meant for Daella, just like Alyssa is meant for Baelon, but unlike Alyssa, he protested the match and he made sure that everyone knew about it. Gyldayn did say that Vaegon was no coward. It was certainly brave of the boy to defy their parents' will in a public setting. Alyssa never did anything like that. To be fair, Gyldayn never mentioned what was Alyssa's reaction to her betrothal to Baelon. As a child, she might not have understood what it really meant and just agreed. He was her favourite brother after all. In Vaegon's case things were different as he and Daella disliked each other. On Baelon's side of things, he was too dutiful to Alysanne to refuse the match.

At the time of the first Vaegon incident Alyssa is 13, she's older and she understands more about what marriage to Baelon means for her. Maybe she wishes she protested it when she had a chance and now it's too late and she's jealous that Vaegon got to refuse Daella. Maybe she's already so indoctrinated into believing sibling incest is their destiny as Targaryens that she wants to "correct" Vaegon for rebelling against their entire system of belief. What's worse, he wasn't punished for his defiance and forced to marry Daella anyway, but instead he got his way. Alysanne listened to him and convinced Jaehaerys to search for a different, unrelated bride for Vaegon. And Alyssa probably knew that Alysanne was never going to call off the marriage to Baelon.

What's interesting is that first Vaegon incident happens same year that Baelon is knighted, receives Dark Sister and claims Vhagar. Baelon gets the holy insignia and is the new Visenya of his generation. Baelon, not Alyssa, the tomboy who likes swordfighting, who is a Targaryen, a future sisterwife raised on the story of the Conquest. Even if it's not outright said in the text, Alyssa probably idolizes Visenya (like Arya did) and wants to be like her. Aemon will be a king like Aegon, Baelon took the spot of Visenya and all Alyssa has left is to be their Rhaenys and become a mother (also she will like sex in a marriage of love with her brother and die early like Rhaenys). And in fact, her son Viserys became the next king and was similar to Aenys. I wonder if Baelon's knighting happens before or after the first Vaegon incident. In any case, Baelon just took tomboy Alyssa's dream away from her and it will affect her future actions. He's not even a girl and he gets to be Visenya. Just how frustrated and angry Alyssa must be? And who she's going to take it out on? Maybe the younger brother she hates and can bully without any consequences?

After the first incident Vaegon was forced to train with Baelon and spend time with him for a year, but the yard incident was the first time Alyssa was included despite how much she loved training swordplay in her younger days. I'm going to assume that at 13-14 and knowing she'll marry at 15, Alyssa wasn't allowed to train anymore (or her time in the yard was greatly reduced) and instead she was forced into princess/wife lessons, learning to do things she always despised doing (like Cersei). So she sees Vaegon, getting to spend time with Baelon, her favourite brother (is he still her favourite at this point? well, she has no one else she's close to), doing things she likes doing and having absolutely miserable time of it. Alyssa must have been pissed - Vaegon gets to live her dream life at the moment and he dares to complain, he dares to dislike it. She'd kill to be in his position. She's just boiling with anger and envy. If only she was the third son, she wouldn't be forced to play her brother's perfect little bride. She could be just one of the boys and their relationship would remain as it was, uncomplicated. Maybe if she beats Vaegon, it would show everyone that she's better than him, better at being a son. Maybe her parents would realize it and something would finally change.

And of course nothing changed and she was cruel to her little brother for nothing. That's why I called the parallel to Arya rather surface, she never did anything like that to Bran or Rickon, while Cersei's hatred of Tyrion is well-documented. Also, both Vaegon and Tyrion are the bookish younger brothers with no real interest or ability to be warriors. No one defends them from their sisters, not even their parents.

Baelon completes the reenactment of the Lannister sibling dynamic because just like Jaime, he is complicit in the humiliation and traumatizing of his little brother (Vaegon - yard incident, Tyrion - Tysha incident). He brought in Alyssa, he made it happen. I wonder if Jaehaerys told him to do it, like Tywin did with Jaime. It would certainly make sense as Jaehaerys wanted Vaegon to toughen up, so using Alyssa to "motivate" him (train harder, a boy can't be beaten by a girl) could have been his idea all along.

It seems that Alyssa is the answer to the question "what-if Cersei was a Targaryen". And we know Cersei is not a good person at all. There's no evidence in text that Alyssa was a good person beyond her role as Baelon's wife. On the contrary, her treatment of Vaegon, furious rejection of Maegelle's company and non-existent relationship with Daella, who was scared of Alyssa, all prove that she wasn't a good sister to her younger siblings.

The parallels between Alyssa and Cersei are apparent. Even their two sons have some similar characteristics. Viserys and Tommen are seen as weak and soft, Daemon and Joffrey are bloodthirsty and violent.

The parallel of Alyssa to Rhaenys works as well with her son Viserys who is a weak king like Aenys and has warrior, ambitious younger brother Daemon, who was even called "second Maegor" by his contemporaries.

Marriage and dragonriding

After marriage Alyssa claims a dragon, Meleys (name starting with M like Meraxes, Rhaenys' dragon) but at first she wanted to claim Balerion, however the dragonkeepers talked her out of it.

Like her brothers before her, Alyssa Targaryen meant to be a dragonrider, and sooner rather than later. Aemon had flown at seventeen, Baelon at sixteen. Alyssa meant to do it at fifteen. 

Again, Alyssa trailing after her brothers, trying to outdo them.

Meleys was as swift a dragon as Westeros had ever seen, easily outpacing Caraxes and Vhagar when she and her brothers flew together.

That really all sounds like a competition that Alyssa is constantly participating in against her brothers, but it's all in her head. She didn't claim the bigger dragon, so she took the faster one. Even her exaggerated bragging about sex sounds like she's trying to be manlier than Baelon.

Speaking of the real competition, Alyssa wasn't a participant, but she was a vital part of it. The competition from the start was between Baelon and Aemon. Baelon was always following his older brother. He started to learn swordfighting early to catch up, had public duels with him, got knighted and claimed Vhagar - a bigger and stronger dragon than Aemon's Caraxes - at 16, so he did it at an earlier age than Aemon did (he was 17). He wanted to outdo his elder brother and marrying Alyssa was a part of that competition. Baelon gets a dragonriding sisterwife, the eldest of their sisters, the one that Jaehaerys intended for Aemon the heir. Aemon marries only their aunt with a small amount of Targaryen blood and without the Valyrian look, who will never claim a dragon. So all around, for Baelon the marriage to Alyssa is a big win over his brother. He's more like their father King than Aemon is, he's more worthy of his love (being the heir).

Young Alyssa saw how close Baelon and Aemon were - it seems natural that she wanted to be included in their competition. But the brother she focused more on was Baelon, not necessarily Aemon (though outdoing Baelon is almost guaranteed to be the same as outdoing Aemon as well). She was trailing after Baelon, she wanted to be as close to him as Aemon, have that sibling bond. Her idea to claim Balerion, the only dragon bigger than Baelon's Vhagar, not to mention the Conqueror's dragon, would have allowed her to outdo both of her brothers. Choosing Meleys, a red dragon just like Aemon's Caraxes, but faster than both of their dragons, puts her on at least equal footing with Aemon, and as a superior to both of them in terms of speed. In the air, they aren't better than she is.

Aemon marries Jocelyn when he's 15 and she's 16, while Baelon is 13 and Alyssa is 9. Alyssa marries Baelon when she's 15 and he's 18. Looks like the wedding was rushed a year because the other princesses married at 16. The reason might be that after Rhaenys was born Jocelyn became unable to give birth again so the king and queen wanted Baelon and Alyssa to quickly make a future husband for Rhaenys. Or Jaehaerys already decided to pass over Rhaenys in succession and saw Baelon as Aemon's heir, therefore Baelon needed a male heir too. Or it was all still part of the brotherly competition of who has a son first.

It's also interesting that Alyssa didn't get pregnant right after the wedding despite the reported frequent sexlife of the couple. She gave birth to Viserys in 77 AC, when she was 17, so she waited around a year before getting pregnant. Daemon was born in 81 AC and Aegon in 84 AC. There was some family planning involved with these mostly even rest periods between pregnancies. For example, Rhaenyra had her second son after a year and the third son was born after 2 years. It's most likely that Alyssa was drinking moon tea, while Baelon was enthusiastic to have sons (and get a win over Aemon). All I'm saying is that this marriage wasn't just pure passion on her side. Alyssa agreed to give children to Baelon, but she controlled when it happened (unlike her mother who was forced to birth Valerion in 77 AC, same year as Viserys, then Gael in 80 AC). That's another similarity with Cersei, who admitted to controlling her own procreation, whose children she had, how many and when.

I think Alyssa wanted to have the time in between pregnancies to pursue her hobbies. Within fortnight after birthing her sons she takes them flying on her dragon and it's not because she wants to give them legendary beginnings - it's probably because she wasn't allowed to fly for months during the pregnancy and she was just impatient to do it again.

Despite claiming a dragon, Alyssa was still excluded. She wasn't allowed to help her brothers and father during the 4th Dornish War. They would never risk her dying like queen Rhaenys in Dorne. Alyssa never used her dragon or sword skills for anything (except humiliating Vaegon). When she tells Baelon that he's made for battles and she for birthing his children, I wonder if it was how she really felt inside? Was she just resigned to her fate at that point? That no matter how much she tried, she will never be a son to Jaehaerys or an equal partner to Baelon and Aemon. She will never be Visenya.

We know that if Cersei or Arya had a dragon, they'd go apeshit with power and go off burning their enemies. And you tell me Alyssa never had a thought to fly to Oldtown and burn the Citadel as the last "fuck you" to Vaegon? Never wanted to burn the Dornish ships alongside her brothers? Never dreamed to go exploring the world? Maybe she was satisfied with Baelon and he kept her home like an anchor. She wouldn't fly off without him. Maybe he and Vhagar ensured she stayed put in King's Landing. Alyssa fully accepted her role as the mother of Baelon's sons. She bent the rules of conforming to her gender, but she couldn't truly break them or she would have lost her privileges.

The truth of Alyssa's character is that in the end she always followed the rules set by her parents. In that way she was a dutiful daughter.

Sex and dragonriding

Sex and dragonriding were Alyssa's favorite activities and she spent hours on both. In her own words she likens them to each other. She says she mounted and rode Baelon and after claiming Meleys she compares herself to her dragon saying that they were both mounted and so lost their virginity.

“Red maidens, the two of us,” the princess boasted, laughing, “but now we’ve both been mounted.”

There's no mention if adult Alyssa still continued sparring, climbing and other masculine activities she preferred in her youth, but most likely she had to give them up in order not to risk any miscarriage. Instead she spent her time on sex and dragonriding - both physical activities that she was allowed and expected to perform. But the way she did them so much, so excessively is rather odd and has implications on her state of mind.

The princess was seldom long away from the Dragonpit after that day. Flying was the second sweetest thing in the world, she would oft say, and the very sweetest thing could not be mentioned in the company of ladies. 

Except she did mention it when she announced that she rode Baelon and was going to do it again.

It seems that Alyssa replaced sparring in the yard with another activity she was doing exclusively with Baelon - having sex with him. Moreover, she puts emphasis on riding him, being on top. It suggests that she was still trying to outdo him. It was definitely a way for her to take control of some aspect of her life and their relationship.

Some readers dismiss passages about Alyssa's sexlife as just Gyldayn being gross and perverted. Her sexual behavior is brushed off as unimportant despite how uncommon and even unique her actions were. I can't think of any other female character in ASOIAF acting this way (let me know if there was one), even among the ones who liked sex.

The bride was fifteen, the groom eighteen. Unlike their father and mother, Baelon and Alyssa did not wait to consummate their union; the bedding that followed their wedding feast was the source of much ribald humor in the days that followed, for the young bride’s sounds of pleasure could be heard all the way to Duskendale, men said. A shyer maid might have been abashed by that, but Alyssa Targaryen was as bawdy a wench as any barmaid in King’s Landing, as she herself was fond of boasting. “I mounted him and took him for a ride,” she declared the morning after the bedding, “and I mean to do the same tonight. I love to ride.”

Alyssa is a 15 year old child bride who was so loud during her first time having sex that everyone in the castle heard it and talked about it, then she told them all her favorite sex position. And she was boasting about it. That is not a normal behavior of a girl that just lost her virginity. Gyldayn is weird not because he reported her abnormal actions and words, but because he tries to make them sound like a good thing and not something actually concerning. Just because she's so eager to have sex with her husband, it's all good and fun. And even then, she's compared to a bawdy barmaid (I'm not exactly sure from this wording if Alyssa is boasting that she's bawdy like a barmaid or Gyldayn compares her to a bawdy barmaid because she was fond of boasting about her sexlife). Gyldayn treats this story like a humorous anecdote.

Even if Alyssa was just a horny teenager, why was she so shamelessly discussing her wedding night in public? The reasons I could think of are:

An attempt to act more like a man than a woman by boasting of a sexual "conquest" (another question is if she even knew how women act, she wasn't close to any, but I'm going to assume she knew normal conduct and chose to act differently on purpose).

To say: "I was on top, so I'm the real boss in this marriage".

To embarrass and shame the gossiping courtiers (maybe? But then she kept having loud sex so maybe not).

As a passive-aggressive form of rebellion against her parents - "you can make me marry, but I'm going to act in a way that's as scandalous and embarrassing to you as possible while technically obeying the rules and doing what I'm supposed to do".

Because she feels so euphoric after the sex and she has a poor impulse control, so she's oversharing.

Because being shameless and bawdy is a part of her personality now.

Alyssa's unusual sexual behaviour is dismissed as her just being a horny teenager or having high sex drive or being so in love with Baelon or all of the above. The fact is that Alyssa's sexual habits didn't change until she died at 24 after complications from childbirth.

Alyssa's promiscuous behavior could be caused by her still emulating Baelon and following his lead like in her childhood. When they married he was 18, older and more knowledgeable. Baelon was a lusty lad, so she became bawdy like a barmaid to match him.

I think it can be argued that Alyssa exhibits signs of sex addiction.

Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage. When not aloft, Baelon and Alyssa spent every hour together, most oft in their bedchamber. Prince Baelon was a lusty lad, for those same shrieks of pleasure that had echoed through the halls of the Red Keep on the night of their bedding were heard many another night in the years that followed. 

One thing is being newlyweds, the other is spending many hours having sex and making it a habit for 9 years of marriage. From the sound of it Alyssa's life revolved around dragonriding and sex, excluding any other activities and company of other people. It seems extremely unhealthy. Spending this much time and focus on sex sounds like she's addicted.

Against all advice, his mother clapped the boy in swaddling clothes, strapped him to her chest, and took him aloft on Meleys when he was nine days old. 

Unnecessary risky behaviour resulting in child endagerment? Check. That's what an addict would do. Their inhibitions and impulse control are often lowered.

Another sign of sexual addiction is "engaging in sexual behaviors that go against your personal values, religious beliefs or what society deems appropriate". Alyssa's loud sex and boasting about it definitely aren't what Westerosi society deems appropriate.

Next sign of sex addiction is engaging in paraphilia, like exhibitionism, voyeurism, sadomasochism. Alyssa's behavior is almost exhibitionistic. She's definitely skirting an edge here. She doesn't expose her sexlife to other people's eyes, but to their ears.

“They call me Baelon the Brave,” the prince told his wife at her bedside, “but you are far braver than me. I would sooner fight a dozen battles than do what you’ve just done.” Alyssa laughed at him. “You were made for battles, and I was made for this. Viserys and Daemon and Aegon, that’s three. As soon as I am well, let’s make another. I want to give you twenty sons. An army of your own!”

This quote says a lot. Baelon praised her for being so brave, because childbirth is dangerous and women died because of it - their grandmother Alyssa Velaryon, their sister Daella just died recently, their mother had difficult births with Valerion and Gael. Alyssa just laughs it off, dismisses his worry. She doesn't see the danger. Well, she survived it 3 times, so she's different than other women (she's not as she later doesn't recover and dies at 24). She wants to get back to it ASAP - or rather to the babymaking. That's a risky behavior that disregards her health in pursuit of what she's addicted to. She wants to get her fix.

All of this put together paints Alyssa as at least sex obssessed if not sex addicted, especially the amount of time she dedicates to it and her risktaking, reckless attitude, against justified worries of Baelon or maesters advice. Gyldayn could be exaggerating. Or he's just saying it how it was but makes it into a humorous, romantic tale. Of brother and sister that do nothing but fly on dragons and have sex. That's their entire marriage life. But the focus put on it really makes it look unusual. Jaehaerys and Alysanne had 13 children, but there are no "heartwarming" tales about how much time they spent in the bedroom.

Alyssa expressed a belief that she was made for giving birth, for procreation. She accepts her assigned role in life and finds as much enjoyment as she could in fulfilling it. There's nothing else. She was raised to do only this and the indoctrination worked too well. Alysanne wanted the couple to be like her own marriage and Alyssa emulates her by planning to have a bunch of kids, even though Alysanne was so much more to Jaehaerys - advisor, diplomat, lawmaker. Baelon even told Aemon that he leaves making law to him, because he prefers to make sons.

“I will leave the making of law to you, brother,” Prince Baelon declared, whilst drinking to Prince Aemon’s appointment. “I would sooner make sons.”

Apart from her environment and fulfilling expectations what could be the other causes of Alyssa's sexual behavior? It could be related to many mental health problems and we know Targaryens as a family have a predisposition to them. If she's addicted, it could be a response to personal trouble. A tomboy is forced to be a traditional wife, giving up her dreams. It could be a coping mechanism if she was feeling depression. Sex raises mood like alcohol. An addict wants to forget his troubles and just feel good. Alyssa's younger sisters, Saera and Viserra, also showed signs of addiction, both getting drunk when they were young teenagers. Saera at 12, Viserra at 15.

Alysanne was pregnant with Valerion and Gael around the time of both of Alyssa's pregnancies. I wonder what does it do to a pregnant woman to watch her mother be forced into risky pregnancies, having difficult labour and recovering for half a year after that? Did she feel like she was seeing her own future? That this will be her in 20 years? But it's too depressing to think about, so she had to ignore, repress, deny it. She was different, younger, stronger, she was in control of her body, Baelon wouldn't do that to her. This is her battle and she was made for this, she's a warrior. Her mother survived it 13 times, so Alyssa will too. Better stop thinking about it and go have sex or fly on a dragon.

Alyssa having depression may seem like a leap but as I said - she has a good reason. She's a tomboy turned housewife at 15. What are her real feelings on the marriage? Gyldayn never provides anything substantial. He says outright that "Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage" and links it with all the sex he was having. Why didn't he say instead "Baelon and Alyssa were smiling", just Baelon? What about Alyssa? She's constantly dragonriding or having sex. Both of those activities are keeping her way from all other people except Baelon. It looks like she's isolating herself. When she interacts with others, she's bawdy and boasting about her sexlife (after wedding night, after claiming Meleys) or reaffirms her role in life as a childbearer (to Baelon and in front of the maesters after she gave birth to Aegon).

Alyssa's solitary activities after marriage and over the top enthusiasm for sex may be covering up her feelings of dissatisfaction with her life. Look at the similarity to her son Daemon, he had a reputation for his abundant sexlife and patronage of brothels when he was unhappily married to Rhea Royce. He couldn't even hold any position on a Small Council for long and Otto was undermining him and taking the spot as his brother's chief councilor. Daemon had plenty of reasons to be unhappy and dissatisfied with his life and that's when he was behaving promiscuously. Then it all disappeared after Rhea's death and him choosing a new wife for himself. It's likely Alyssa passed the predisposition to sex addiction to her son.

Other character acting similar to Alyssa in the series would be Robert Baratheon - a chief example of a depressed sex addict, but he was masking it by feasting and getting drunk all the time. Alyssa's main parallel, Cersei, became an alcoholic, which is just another type of addiction. Cersei also exhibited risky sexual behavior by having an affair with Jaime, having his children and everything that followed from that (like sex in the Broken Tower, her affair with Lancel).

Taking into account all of the above I'd say it looks like Alyssa developed a sex addiction and any type of addiction signifies deep personal trouble that one tries to forget/cope with.

Gyldayn portrays the marriage as happy, but the only one who was shown as happy was Baelon. Gyldayn sees that Alyssa liked sex, satisfied her husband's sexual needs all the time, accepted her role as a mother and gave birth to sons so he treats it like a successful marriage. But he doesn't care about what Alyssa felt, only Baelon.

Alyssa - the role model for Saera and Viserra

Alyssa resembles Cersei because of her "I'm not like the other girls" attitude. She wants to be in the boys' club with Aemon and Baelon and has nothing in common with her sisters. And she's said to avoid other girls' company. It's all rather strange. In a way she's like Alysanne, who was purposely deprived of female friends in her childhood by her mother, however in Alyssa's case it was a choice.

Despite Alyssa's distance she had a profound effect on both Saera and Viserra as their older sister. She was supposed to be their role model as a Targaryen princess. They were probably constantly compared to her and told that she's a good wife. If they want to be successful, they should be like Alyssa. Unfortunately for the younger girls, Alyssa is in fact a terrible role model.

Saera is the most similar to Alyssa out of all their sisters. This comparison is explicitly stated in the book, as according to her maesters Saera was:

as strong and quick and spirited as her sister Alyssa.

The similarities between the family's problem child and the parentally approved older sister are also in their behaviour, which Saera was probably copying off Alyssa. Saera even wanted to claim Balerion like Alyssa initially did before the dragonkeepers changed her mind. It's also interesting to note that:

Septon Barth tells us that Saera’s sisters all misliked her to various degrees.

That means Alyssa shared the common dislike for Saera despite keeping general distance from all her sisters and the 6 year age gap. What reason Alyssa would have to dislike Saera? I think the most possible reason was that Saera became Jaehaerys' favourite and could get anything she wanted, despite her general mayhem and misbehavior. Meanwhile, Alyssa's efforts to please him, first by being like the boys, then obediently marrying Baelon, didn't get her anything she wanted, apart from a dragon that she wasn't allowed to use for battle or for any other purpose than leisure flying. Jaehaerys was never the same after Saera's escape to Essos but there was no mention of his reaction to Alyssa's death. It's clear that Saera had his affection without trying, but Alyssa didn't, so Alyssa had a good reason to be jealous of Saera and dislike her.

Going in chronological order, the first similarity between Alyssa and Saera was their cruel and humiliating treatment of those who couldn't even defend themselves from them - their own siblings. Alyssa was cruel to her little brother Vaegon and humiliated him so badly that he completely gave up on learning the sword despite keeping up with it for a year, but no one ever mentions her actions as something bad. Vaegon was an unpopular, bookish and unhappy boy that wasn't good at traditional male activities like fighting, so Alyssa could bully him without any repercussions and even with a tacit permission from their father (reminds me of Sam Tarly situation). No wonder he lost confidence, closed off and took the first chance to leave the family that didn't love or protect him. No wonder he only visited when he was summoned and his letters to Alysanne were perfunctory.

Was Saera emulating Alyssa's cruelty? It's very possible. Saera was 6 and 7 years old when the two incidents of Alyssa bullying Vaegon happened. Saera might not have seen them (it's likely she did), but she definitely heard of them and saw how Alyssa was unpunished. It must have emboldened Saera's own cruel streak. Her first childhood victim was Daella who she kept scaring with her pranks (the prank with hiding bees in a chamberpot was definitely dangerous and cruel). Daella was an easy target as she was mentally disabled and delicate. Septon Barth noted Saera's jealousy of the attention Daella was getting from their mother. After Daella left, Saera started playing cruel and humiliating pranks on another mentally disabled person, the court fool Tom Turnip.

It's also worth noting that both Vaegon and Daella were in Jaehaerys' disfavour because they both failed to meet his expectations. Both were avoiding marriage in their own ways, Vaegon lacked martial talent and Daella's mental disability was the proof against the king's Targaryen supremacy propaganda. Jaehaerys was the driving force to send them away from their home, never to return. It seems that Alyssa was used by their father to teach Vaegon a lesson. Saera not only picked up on Jaehaerys' dislike for Daella, but also on his quiet approval of Alyssa's bullying of Vaegon. She knew it was allowed.

The next similarity between sisters was in their hypersexual behaviour. Saera was 8 years old when Alyssa got married and the tale of her wedding night spread. She must have heard some of Alyssa's boasting about sex, saying how much she loved it, or the often occuring loud sex sounds coming from her bedroom. It continued until Alyssa's death when Saera was 16, nearly 17. Saera's formative years were spent influenced by her sister's sex-obssessed example. Alyssa's behaviour was accepted by all, approved by their parents despite how unusual it was. It's no wonder Saera took a cue from her older sister and began her own sexual explorations as a teenager with her group of friends. She even sought out the older and more experienced Braxton Beesbury to be her Baelon substitute.

Like Alyssa, Saera also exhibited signs of sex addiction - risky sexual behavior, sex with multiple partners, sexually humiliating pranks on Tom Turnip (voyeuristic in nature - she wanted to see him naked, to see him having sex). We know she had an addictive personality as she became alcoholic when she was 12 years old.

Saera's scandalous sexual conduct was caught by her parents after Alyssa's death, in the same year. And she even used as one of her justifications that "Baelon used to kiss Alyssa all the time", proving that she took notice of their relationship and how sex-focused it was. She learned from them that a happy, successful marriage is based on having sex all the time. At the same time, the only other example she had was her parents, who were becoming distant from each other and stopped having sex (and their reasons for disagreeing were Daella's death and Jaehaerys forcing 2 risky pregnancies on Alysanne, which endagered her life). Aemon and Jocelyn lived on Dragonstone, so they couldn't serve as a more normal example of a married couple for Saera.

Viserra was also affected by Alyssa's bad example. She witnessed Alyssa's marriage from the age of 4 to 13 years old, so for most of her young life. According to Alysanne:

"She aims much higher, our Viserra. I have seen the way she preens and prances around Baelon. That is the husband she desires, and not for love of him. She wants to be the queen.”

So Alysanne started losing it because she thought that Viserra wanted to be the queen, while Aemon was the heir and married, so marrying Baelon would not make her a queen. Unless she suspected the sly Viserra to have a plan to get rid of Aemon and Rhaenys to get to the throne after marrying Baelon. However, the one who explicitly stated that she wanted to be a queen was Saera, not Viserra. Alysanne was confusing her daughters. Previously she had more accurate insights on her children. Maybe she was spending less time with them and focusing more on young Gael.

Alysanne statement has to be taken with a grain of salt, it's not entirely factual, but rather her opinion on Viserra. She can't allow Alyssa to be replaced in Baelon's heart, as she fashioned their marriage in the image of her own with Jaehaerys. She believes that Baelon and Alyssa are the true love story, so he can never remarry. Her solution to the danger of Viserra replacing Alyssa is to betroth her to the old lord Manderly. That way she'll stay far away from Baelon and Alyssa's memory will be preserved.

Viserra understandably protests the betrothal, but her parents are unyielding, so she decides to seduce Baelon by sneaking into his bed naked and drunk. The thing is, that behaviour wasn't Viserra's usual MO. She was known for playing with boys like puppies, manipulating them to do what she wanted and sending them on foolish quests. She wasn't a seductress. Then why did she take this straightforward approach with Baelon and just jumped into his bed?

“He married one sister, why not another?” Viserra told her closest friend, the empty-headed Beatrice Butterwell. “I am much prettier than Alyssa ever was, you saw her. She had a broken nose.”

This quote proves Viserra's interest in Baelon and also provides a lead to the reason for Viserra's actions. Based on what Viserra saw of Baelon's relationship with Alyssa, she concluded that Baelon only cares about sex and the only way to get his attention is to offer him her body. Viserra doesn't know how to interact with or romance her older brother. Alyssa spent most of her time with him by having sex, so that must be how it's done, right? It sounds like Viserra is unaware if there was anything other than sex between Alyssa and Baelon. She even thinks that he wouldn't care which sister he's having sex with.

It's important to note that Viserra is vain, but she is not stupid. She's described as sly and capable of manipulating people to do what she wants. A skilled manipulator has to be observant and notice things about people. And those are the conclusions she drew about Baelon and Alyssa's marriage which she observed for most of her life - that all he cared about was having sex with his sisterwife, that all a good sisterwife had to do was to be sexually available. It's possible that Viserra didn't understimate Baelon's actual loyalty to dead Alyssa, but only his sense of duty and honour. He didn't take advantage of her, even when she offered, but if his parents ordered him to marry her, he'd probably obey them like he always did.

Alyssa is seen as different and better then her younger sisters despite all the evidence to the contrary. The positive spin on her qualities is like the opposite of the negative spin on her sisters' characters. Basically, she gets special treatment (from both her parents and Gyldayn) because she married Baelon and fulfills the traditional role of wife and mother. On the other hand, when her sisters follow her example or want the same things she had, they are villainized. Saera is called "an evil child" by her septa, then "a whore" by her father and heavily punished, forced to watch her father kill her lover, Viserra is labeled as ambitious and manipulative by her mother.

Maegelle, Alyssa and the incestous family planning

Maegelle seems to most people like the sister that had the least to do with Alyssa, had a good life as a septa and was lucky to escape her sisters' various tragic fates. However, she was heavily impacted as a child by Alyssa and also their parents' plans for both of them.

Alyssa broke the chain of younger siblings trailing after the elder. Baelon followed Aemon, Alyssa followed Baelon, but when Maegelle tried to follow her, Alyssa was completely against it. Probably she just didn't want Maegelle joining the dynamic Alyssa had with their brothers, getting close to them and taking away their affection.

Maegelle joined the Faith of the Seven in 73 AC when she was 10 years old. It can be argued that Alysanne was always going to send one daughter to Oldtown, but did it have to be Maegelle and not Daella, Saera or Viserra at a later date? Maegelle could have married Vaegon or someone else, so why didn't she?

Jaehaerys' idea for arranging marriages was pretty simple, he wanted to pair them up by the order of birth - eldest son to eldest daughter, second son to second daughter and so on. It was Alysanne who had to intervene and tell him who liked who, he had no clue about the relationships between his children. According to Jaehaerys' matchmaking plan, Aemon would have married Alyssa, so logically I assume next would be Baelon and Maegelle, Vaegon and Daella. Alysanne must have seen problems with that, like the age gaps - 6 years between Aemon and Alyssa, 5 years between Baelon and Maegelle. She also made Jocelyn sit next to Aemon during a feast for his investiture as Prince of Dragonstone when he was 7 and saw that the two got along really well. So that is one example of Alysanne's successful matchmaking and arranged well in advance before the betrothals were made.

It's likely that Maegelle's future was sacrificed to appease the Faith so they wouldn't oppose another full sibling marriage - between Alyssa and Baelon. And that's why when the betrothals were made in 68 AC, Jaehaerys told Vaegon that he will marry Daella, not Maegelle who was older.

I wonder if Maegelle became pious because she was being prepared for her life as a septa or it had something to do with Alyssa rejecting her company. Maybe the religion provided Maegelle with some comfort and friendship. Maybe she didn't want to marry her brother or anyone at all and becoming a septa allowed her to avoid that fate. The opposite was also possible, what if Maegelle only wanted to please and imitate Alysanne, who was pious herself, but she didn't actually want to become a septa? Maybe she became pious because she was praying for something specific, had some wish? The point is we will never know what Maegelle wanted to do with her life as she was never asked and the choice was taken from her before she was grown enough to make it. And the same thing happened sooner or later to all the other siblings. In any case, Alysanne removed Maegelle from the marriage plans so that Alyssa could marry Baelon.

Was it fair to Maegelle to decide her whole life for her when she was so young? Was it fair to do the same to Alyssa or any of their other siblings? The moral of the story of all the children of Jaehaerys and Alysanne is simple - that parents controlling their children's future and deciding their whole lives and careers when they are 5-10 years old is unfair, awful and often has tragic consequences. Maegelle is as much of a victim here, she was said to be bright and studious as a child, she had intelligence and potential for greatness that was squandered by sending her to be a septa. Funny that Alysanne didn't notice that Maegelle, not Alyssa, was the most like her out of all her daughters. Maegelle with her gentleness, caring for the weak like Daella, charitableness could have been the next Good Queen.

Maegelle is regarded as the only sister that got away from tragedies of her siblings. But she was made to join a religious order as a child. She never had a choice or an opportunity to be anything different. When she died, nursing patients with greyscale, she was only 34 years old. She didn't even reach middle age. She lived only 10 years longer than Alyssa. Ironically, Saera could have outlived them all, as the last time she was mentioned, she was alive at age 34 during the Great Council of 101 AC.

Alyssa despite being portrayed as accepting of her duty and even enthusiastic about having more children, isn't the happy exception, the successful daughter. She has to give up on any of her previous dreams and aspirations, she has power - a dragon, that she's not allowed to use in battle as equal with her brothers. Despite having the role of Rhaenys she can't fight alongside her brothers, she has to stay behind and be protected by them. She's reduced to being just a wife and mother and it seems to me that her enthusiasm about sex is at best her simply finding pleasure and control in what little she's allowed to have and do. She makes the best of what she has because what else she can do? It can be even argued that she showed signs of sex addiction and was hiding her dissatisfaction and depression. She dies at 24 from complications after childbirth.

Both Alyssa and Maegelle were obedient daughters who spent their lives fulfilling their parents' expectations, following the paths they didn't choose, and died as a result without even reaching middle age. They are both tragic, but their parents, Gyldayn - and through them the book readers - don't realize it.

After Alyssa's death

After Alyssa's death her shadow is cast over her younger sisters. Saera and Viserra are condemned for pursuing what was once granted to Alyssa. They can't have a brother, a lover or a dragon. They aren't allowed to fill her shoes. Alysanne projects herself on Alyssa and won't let a younger and prettier queen take her place. You know she just hates the idea of Jaehaerys marrying a new woman after she's gone, because it would disprove their eternal love, so Baelon has to be forever Alyssa's.

Alyssa isn't just a distant elder sister and bad role model for her younger sisters (who get punished for acting like she did - that's a big parenting failure of Jaehaerys and Alysanne). Her ghost deeply affects Baelon who isn't allowed to stop mourning her for the rest of his life. It's written like a proof of their great love that he couldn't move on, but what if he eventually wanted to? Baelon couldn't find happiness again after Alyssa because that would disappoint Alysanne and he was too dutiful to her. So he was stuck in this loyalty to a dead wife for 16 years (85 AC to 101 AC).

Though shattered by his loss, Baelon took solace in the two strong sons that she had left him, Viserys and Daemon, and never ceased to honor the memory of his sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes.

I find it interesting that only Baelon's reaction to her death was mentioned. Compared to the other siblings dying, usually we are told Alysanne's and/or Jaehaerys' reaction. They probably mourned her, but didn't see her death at 24 due to complications after childbirth as overly tragic. They probably thought that these things happen and there was nothing they could do. They don't realize that expecting Alyssa to keep having more children was what killed her. She had two sons, but to carry on the family tradition of sibling marriages, they needed her to have a daughter. Baelon wanted a girl, a sisterwife for his son, to continue the cycle in the next generation.

Gyldayn's description of Baelon's reaction to Alyssa's death seems overly sugary. He's trying to make their relationship look as romantic as possible, but calling her "sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes" ruins the effect. In what way Alyssa was ever sweet to anyone? Calling attention to her broken nose and mismatched eyes is rather weird, as they are physical imperfections. It's causing the whiplash, a dissonance between what was told and shown. How much of this statement by Gyldayn is even true?

Conclusions

Alyssa Targaryen is a complex character beyond being a wife and mother. She's distant from most of her siblings but has a significant influence and impact on their lives. The only one she's close to is Baelon and she tries to compete with him and Aemon. She bullied Vaegon, furiously rejected Maegelle, scared Daella and set a bad example of sexual behavior to Saera and Viserra. What's more, Alyssa's character isn't good or nice or even responsible. She's cruel, bawdy and competitive, avoids company of other girls and her sisters, because she thinks she's different (better) than them. She dismisses the danger of childbirth and unnecessarily risks her newborn sons when she takes them dragonriding.

Alyssa is deeply indoctrinated by her parents to believe in Targaryen supremacy ideology and accepts her role as a sisterwife and childbearer. She follows the rules set by them and is rewarded and praised for it. Despite that, she's likely depressed and coping by having sex or dragonriding. She exhibits signs of having a sex addiction, which is likely because her younger sisters and son Daemon also had addictive personalities. Her marriage life consists of having sex for most of the time and only her husband is mentioned to be happy with it. She's not allowed to express and pursue her own goals and the cases of her bullying Vaegon seem to be her lashing out because he rebelled against his parents' plans for his future.

Many existing similaries prove that the Alyssa is the answer to the question: "what if Cersei was a Targaryen?" She also resembles queen Rhaenys in her dynamic with her older brothers.

Alyssa's death isn't seen as tragic, despite her dying at 24 after giving birth to a third son they didn't need. She died young and for unnecessary reason. Her death was in vain as the child didn't live through infancy. The only one who was said to be mourning her was Baelon, who became a martyr of their great, lost love, and a sad widower for the rest of his life to appease Alysanne, who saw his marriage to Alyssa as a mirror to her own marriage with Jaehaerys.

Alyssa is not the one good, unproblematic daughter that Jaehaerys and Alysanne raised. Their bad parenting affected her as well as every single one of her siblings, even Maegelle, whose future was sacrificed so that Alyssa and Baelon could marry.

Jaehaerys and Alysanne weren't good parents to any of their children, including Alyssa. They decided their children's future paths when they were still too young and didn't finish growing, and then expected them to follow those plans. In result, most of the siblings died, either due to obeying their parent's will (Daenerys, Aemon, Alyssa, Maegelle, Daella) or rebelling against it (Viserra, Gael). The 3 remaining ones (Baelon, Vaegon, Saera) didn't die, but endured much suffering and hardship in their lives as an effect of their parents' control over them.

.

I worked on this for a week, so I hope it's interesting and at least provides some food for thought. I'm open to questions and more discussion, so you can send asks. I might write more analysis on Jaehaerys and Alysanne's bad parenting method and maybe some other topics related to their reign.

[ganxiously]

911 Fic Writing Resource: Shift Timings

Okay, so initially I was going to add this to my last post but the topic was completely different so I decided to make a new one. @capsbooty7 and @rutathenurse pointed out that since Tommy was working at the same time as Buck and the rest of the gang, he most likely worked the A shift and thus had his work time completely synced with Buck's. The concept was intriguing enough that I took a look into it.

Like many others, I had previously thought that each house had its own rota, and the timing and length of the shifts varied accordingly. However, that appears to not be the case. Firefighters, in the LAFD at least, work in 3 shifts - A, B and C and each of these shifts are 24 hours long. They don't do the 24/48 or the 48/96 but instead follow what I am given to believe is called the California Swing Shift or a Kelly schedule. Here, they essentially work every other day for 5 days and then have 4 days off. So the schedule is - On - Off - On - Off - On - Off - Off - Off - Off. This means they are usually working 72 hours per rotation but they can also trade in shifts or work overtime if they want to.

From what I found out, you can take more shifts or reduce it according to your convenience by trading with others so technically you can still do 48 hours and then even pull in overtime but the limit for a continuous shift is 60 hours after which you have to take a mandatory 12 hours off [this information was a bit outdated so I am not sure if this rule still stands]. Trade almost always happens for 12 or 24 hours but it isn't unheard of to do an 18 hour trade. Overtime usually happens in 12 hour shifts and you get paid overtime rates only when you have crossed 56 hours in a working week.

As for vacation days, you get 16 days after one year of service and 24 days after 10 years (so Tommy is getting 24 while Buck is getting 16 but Bobby, however, might be getting 25 since I'm guessing he's been a firefighter for at least 31 years). There are also 13 paid floating leave days allotted each year - 1 every 4 weeks.

Shift times are the same for every firehouse and the work day starts at 8am officially but you are expected to make 'face-to-face relief' at 6:30 am.

I am also including the January 2024 schedule here: [follow a colour to understand how the shifts work and where you can sneak in lengthy shifts]

If you have more information or would like to correct me on something, feel free to let me know.

@itsjustpoopeh mentioned:

and @ironworked pointed out:

@cafe-con-letty sent this ask talking about how Tommy's shift might vary as a helicopter pilot so you can also check this out.

[batbetbitbotbut]

hi!!! ive been following you for your weaving for a little while now, and the stuff you make is absolutely amazing!!

im curious if youd ever post some of your lifting plans and drafts? id be so interested in seeing them and possibly trying some of the stuff you do out myself, so if you do have it recorded anywhere itd be so awesome to see B:•∆

Hi!!!!!! So, I would be absolutely thrilled to share drafts for anything original I make, but so far I've worked almost entirely from books. I'm always happy to say where something is from and walk you through any adaptations I've made or how a structure works and I'd probably send drafts privately if there is a specific one you ask about, but I feel a bit weird about just posting all of them publicly. Alternately, some of these are kind of "simple" or "universal" and may be in several books and I just worked them out in my own scribbly notebook, so there isn't really any draft I can share.

^ this is 2 block doubleweave, with a different tie-up for each piece. 8/2 cotton at 20epi (per layer, so 40epi in the reed) which was a bit too close. There's only one way to make it, it's not really a draft that can someone can lay claim to privately. Thread a straight draw, the wide block on shafts 1 to 4 (32 threads) and the narrow block on shafts 5 to 8 (16 threads), even shafts in one colour and odd shafts in the other. Slowly carefully derive the lift liftplan yourself according to which layers you want up and down at each point; I can share a photo of my notes but I'm not sure how useful they would be. It's in lots of books too - anything explaining doubleweave for 8 shaft looms will have it.

^ these are twills from the twill gamp section of Strickler's A Handweaver's Book of 8 Shaft Patterns absolutely phenomenal resource. 8/2 cotton at 24epi which is about right.

^ overshot also from Strickler, drafts 471-474. Tabby 16/2 cotton at 24epi, pattern weft 8/2 cotton (I also did some pieces with pattern weft 15/2 wool).

^ the first one is a copy, thread for thread, of ZZZZZ from 8 Shafts: Beyond The Beginning published by the Complex Weavers Guild. The second one is a narrower adaptation of it without reversals. Advancing wall of Troy twill, 2/15 wool, I think it was 24epi.

The third one is a near copy of the threading in For My Brother from the same book. I changed where the pattern was centred and I tried out many different treadlings as I went, just to see what happened. Interleaved twill - design a twill threading, then repeat it 3 more times starting 2 shafts over and in a different colour each time, so the final threading always goes "black grey white purple black grey white purple..." on {shafts 1, 3, 5, 7} and {shafts 2, 4, 6, 8} every time but it starts on different ones of those shafts. Warp 8/2 cotton boucle at 36epi, weft 33/2 60% cotton 40% linen.

^ deflected doubleweave! 15/2 wool at 20epi which was about right. I adapted a draft from Briand's The Art of Weaving by making all the blocks 4 ends wide instead of the 2, 4, or 6 ends they were in the book. Treadling is just made up on the fly (within the block structure), sometimes trying to make specific shapes and sometimes generating a random sequence on a computer. But again there's only really one way to make this on 8 shafts, it may turn up in several books.

Stay tuned for my bookshelf, I've hit the image limit...

[fatcathappycat]

7 more 7 year gap Narumitsu fic recs (here's part 2!)

The seven year gap years are some of the richest for Narumitsu fan fiction. Below are seven more of my favourite seven year gap fics, in no particular order. Part 1 is here and part 3 here and yay, there’s now a part 4 {:-) :-)

Enjoy!

1) Mitte by sunsmasher

Rating: M Words: 4,693 Time to read: 10 min

This fic takes a more cynical look at love but oh, the end scene is perfect, and stays with you for a looooong while. I think I've reread it at least 4-5 times. It was one of the fics that motivated me to joining Ao3 as a member, rather than a guest, so I could participate more fully with commenting and Bookmarks. My original book mark said "Still thinking about this weeks later… so brutal but not without hope."

~7~

2) Rule of Three by DeiRyuu

Rating: G Words: 1,948 Time to read: 10 min

Taking place during one of the Wright's visits with Edgeworth in Europe, this fic is a wholesome, well written, fambly one shot. ❤️💙💙 Part 1 of NaruMitsu Week 2020 series

~7~

3) Bernstein (liminal) by just_a_wavefunction

Rating: G Words: 3,661 Time to read: 15 min

One of those fics that are so well written and that you crave more at the end. Set in the early years of the 7 year gap, Phoenix and Trucy spend quality time with Miles in Europe (Miles POV).

~7~

4) hop a plane by alyxellipsis

Rating: E Words: 3,790 Time to read: 15 min

Phoenix spontaneously flies to Europe to specifically not talk about his feelings with Miles. Kristophe is mentioned, read the tags. Recommending because it it is so good, but oh, my heart. This one kicked me.

~7~

5) Childswap by theacegrace

Rating: G Words: 11,781 Time to read: 50 min

A beloved Narumitsu ‘classic,' this one feels like it should be on a 'required reading' list for Ace Attorney found family fans. Written for narumitsu week 2019 day 7: domestic

~7~

6) Kindred by timepatches

Rating: G Words: 11, 781 Time to read: 6.5 hours

Pess fic! A case fic! and yes, a Narumitsu fic set during the 7 year gap years. Super charming and a wonderful story to settle into over a weekend. This set me off on a Pess fic binge (hmmm, maybe a future fic rec list :) )

~7~

7) The Same Thing, Self Aware by cosmogyral

Rating: M Words: 15,921 Time to read: 60 min

So well written. Ow my heart, but hold on, cosmogyral has you baby, there is hope. I love the way that Miles is written and while it hurts to see Phoenix so…asshole-ish? Jaded. I love how his path to redemption is so beautifully crafted in this story. It leaves me wanting more.

Also found in Podfic form by blotthis! Beautifully narrated and with excellent art!

And thus concludes part two of my 7 x 7 year gap fic recs. I hope you enjoy them all, and if you want more, please check out part 3 :)

₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎ ੭ ♡* ੈ✩‧₊˚

[deadmotelsusa]

No, this isn’t a postcard from the 60s. This is a room at the Koolwink Motel in 2024.

Unlike most of the motels featured in my posts, the Koolwink is alive and well and has been operating under the same name since 1936. Nestled in the hills of Romney, West Virginia, the motel buildings, office and rooms are a time capsule of the past. Each room is perfected with wood paneling and original midcentury furniture. The motel’s logo (Mr. Koolwink) has been featured on the motels signs, notepads, mugs and mints for the past 6 decades.

The Koolwink opened in the 30s by Nora and Henry Cline. In the 1950s, Wallace and Pauline Mauk purchased it from his great-aunt Nora. Today, it’s owned and operated by Wallace and Pauline’s daughter Kay and her husband Robert. Kay was kind enough to chat with me and share some history of the motel as well as a few older photos - if you look closely at the black and white shot, you can see Kay and her twin brother Jay as toddlers!

It’s so clear that this property has been well cared for. Our room was clean, affordable and gave us the exact experience we were looking for. The Koolwink’s website describes their motel as “a modern facility with a retro feel,” which is exactly what it is. I really loved my stay there. Kay left me with a hug and a “come visit us again soon.” I will definitely be back.