ganxiously

[ganxiously]

is there any bucktommy specific discord community i can join? I've have been looking for one and all i have gotten so far are just 911 ones with a bucktommy channel, which been there, done that, not looking to try ever again

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„the worst part of this is… I can’t even hold your hand, or run my fingers through your hair, or kiss your head. Not without it feeling like it’s some kind of violation”.

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Lou’s so called exit interview was basically done by a toddler with a laptop and internet access, Peter’s was done by one of the biggest and most respected networks in the entire country.

Anon, did you just try to take a metophorical baseball bat to my piñata of delusions??? jail for you, jail for you for a thousand years!

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I just need to vent here because i just saw someone say it would have made more sense for Taylor to be there because she has had more interactions with Bobby than Tommy and like did you not watch the show???? Taylor, the same Taylor who almost drove Bobby to suicide over the man who worked under Bobby for years and was friendly enough with him to have regular drinks with???? if you're going to post something so wild, just do us a favour and check wiki for a second before you say such inane things with your whole damn chest.

[ganxiously]

so, hear me out. Tommy left the show, everyone said he left the show, there were exit interviews saying he has left the show and will never come back.

Now Bobby has left the show, everyone is saying he has left the show, there are exit interviews saying he has left the show and will never come back.

So, what I am saying is, Bobby back first episode next season? 🥺🥺

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Tommy: CHIMNEY?!! “I’ll steal a helicopter for you, even a water tank!”

Part of the 118?!?! Tommy: “I’ll steal a helicopter for you!”

Tommy: “EVAN?!? I FOR SURE WILL STEAL A HELICOPTER FOR YOU.”

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💙✨

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crazy stuff that when Buck goes 'this is about me', Tommy is canonically the only person ever to reply with 'yes it is' instead of saying 'not everything is about you'.

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Soooo . . . if I just don't finish the episode and leave it at Chim getting the antiviral, then that means Bobby is still alive and everyone is okay and it is a happy ending and tommy and buck talk it out during the celebrations, right? right???

[ganxiously]

Buck: Ex - boyfriend 😤😤☝️☝️

Also Buck when said ex-boyfriend turned up:

[ganxiously]

wait. I missed the last twenty minutes. you mean Bobby really died????? like permanently died died????

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Get you a brother-in-law who will steal helicopters for you. Twice.

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Buck has to go on shift while Tommy's sick and at around hour 12, Tommy stops responding to his texts so Buck gets increasingly worked up about it — spamming texts, leaving voice messages, threatening to call 911 on Tommy and generally driving everyone out of their mind with his worry. He is one panicked breath away from stealing the truck and weewooing over to their house and Bobby is one 'Tommy' away from letting him just do it if it means he will stop when Buck's phone finally pings with an incoming message. It's Tommy, of course, in bed, clearly having just woken up and clearly feeling much better given the way he has snarkily replied to Buck's last text of Tommy are you dead???? with this particular picture.

[ganxiously]

A Place to Rest Your Weary Bones || 1.8k || 8.15 speculation fic (sort of)

Read below or read on ao3

Buck had not worked a wildfire in quite a while but he still remembered every detail vividly. It was the thing of nightmares after all — the heat, the desperation, feeling like ants trying to move a mountain and most importantly, the aftermath where everything became grey and silent, a desolate landscape of smouldering ash and burnt down husks, a hellish world where certainly no life could ever hope to grow. That’s what he felt like, standing at the doorway to Chimney’s room and realising that his brother-in-law, despite what had happened, had gotten the better end of the deal. He was alive, for one, and well on the road to recovery. He would be better in a week, they said, now that the antivirus had taken effect. Hen, on the other hand, was going to be stuck in the hospital itself for a week and then was looking forward to more than a month of bed rest and light duty. And Bobby . . .

He shied away from the thought and concentrated on Maddie, who was sitting beside Chim and stroking his hand. She was crying, silent tears trailing down her face, but Buck didn’t have it in him to make her stop. This was better, this was better than the shellshocked look she had worn as they had sat together in the hospital waiting room. 

“You sure about staying here for the night?”

His voice was hoarse, broken and battered from all the screaming he had done. For nothing apparently. Buck had learnt the hard way today that screams could not bring the dead back to life. His sister looked up, startled like she had forgotten Buck was still here. She paused for a moment, her eyes looking past Buck to something he couldn’t fathom and then focused back on him again.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

She must have seen the hesitance on Buck’s face because she straightened up a little, pulled on the armour of big sister tighter around her shoulders and said,

“Don’t worry. I’ll be alright. I just . . . I just need to keep him in my sight for a while.”

“I can stay with you.”, he offered, a part of him desperate to not be separated from his people, even though he already knew what her answer would be.

Unsurprisingly, she shook her head.

“No, no, it’s fine. You go on ahead and get some rest at home. I just want to spend some time alone with him.”, Maddie told him and then, after a pause, acquiesced, “But be here tomorrow, alright?”

He nodded.

“Yeah. I— I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”

That brought a smile to her face. 

“No need for that Buck. You saved the day today. Get some proper rest before you turn up.”

On the way out, he peeped into Hen’s room but it was already crowded with Denny and Mara sitting on either side of Hen’s sleeping figure while Karen and Hen’s mother were off to the side, talking in hushed tones. He briefly considered going inside but it felt intimate, almost sacred. A family keeping bedside vigil and Buck would only be an interloper there. It was better to leave them alone for now.

Outside, the streets were practically empty given the time of the night but by some divine intervention, there was a cab idling at the hospital entrance. Buck approached it, earning a curious glance from the driver.

“Where to?”

“Home.”, came the answer before he could even consider formulating one.

It made the man look at him weird but something must have shown on his face because his gaze softened a second later. He didn’t exactly look any less weirded out but more like he wouldn’t immediately grab hold of Buck and commit him to the psych ward.

“And where is that?”, he asked.

And that . . . that was the question, wasn’t it? Where was home? Buck had a house, sure but did he have a home? He hesitated for a second, glancing back at the hospital. He felt like if he looked hard enough, he would be able to see Chim and Hen’s room from down here. A stupid thought, of course. He was too far away. He slid into the backseat and gave the driver the address to the 118, trying not to think too much on what he was doing. The firehouse was on the other side and he would need to pass by the hospital again to get back to his house. It would take a lot of time. Just because I need to pick up my car, he told himself, and it will save me a lot of time tomorrow.

The firehouse was empty when the cab dropped him off. The gates were still open but the lights were off. The abandoned trucks looked colossal in the dark, their brilliant red hidden and the moonlight making them throw long shadows across the floor. It looked haunted almost, an empty building with an almost empty parking lot in the middle of LA, waiting for its captain who would never step through those doors again. No one would be in the right mind to work, the management had said, let them take a day before they can resume work again. So understanding but still so cruel. Buck would have screamed if there was any strength left in his lungs for that. He didn’t know how things could resume again. The core was gone. Without the nucleus to drag them in and hold them together, they’d either drift apart, orbitless and alone or collide and explode and take everything in their wake. There was no coming back from this.

I’ve lost my captain, he thought, standing at the entrance. I have lost my home. This place had been home for so long. Maybe not home in the way people meant it but definitely a home nonetheless. It had been the first place where he had truly belonged. It was where he had truly come into himself. It was where he had lived, laughed and loved his way to true adulthood. Buck had fought for it, he had fought himself and the world and the universe for it and now . . . now, he had lost it anyways. Because a home was always defined by the people who had made it into one and this one had been made by Bobby.

I’ve lost my Dad.

The sob that tore through his throat echoed through the firehouse, a macabre cry of the half-dead and Buck wondered if he should go in anyways. Just sit there and wait until Bobby showed up. Or until he fused in with the walls, become one with the house — a happy ghost among his happiest memories. But no, there were people who still needed him here. There was Athena, lifeless as a statue, stiff and unmoving like she could arrest time through sheer will. There was Bobby, lying cold in an even colder room, waiting for a hero’s send off. There was Hen and her family and Maddie and Chim and Jee. And Jesus Christ, had anyone even thought to inform Eddie of what had gone down? Life didn’t wait for anybody. It would carry on, one bleak morning after the other no matter how much Buck felt ready to deal with it. 

Steeling himself, he turned away from the 118, walking across the lot to climb into his truck. Taking a deep breath, he started the car but where to? Where was home? Where did he belong? Where could he belong? Buck didn’t know anymore. But he did have a house, a place to rest and gather himself so he could emerge tomorrow and try to help what was left of his family. It was where he should go, drive past the hospital where his loved ones were, take a right, then a left and then another left. Go inside, eat a leftover sandwich, get some sleep and get up early and see how he could help, who he could help.

He didn’t do that. Of course, he didn’t. Instead he circled the hospital once, twice, drove down to pass by his old loft, the repository of his other happy memories. He checked Maddie’s house and then Hen’s and then sat outside of Bobby and Athena’s apartment, eyes trained on the darkened windows. And when he finally turned into his street, it was already nearly dawn. The sky was still dark but the world was coming to life slowly — a few people here and there, the call of a bird, the bark of a dog. He parked his truck and glanced at his house. Looked away and then snapped back to gape at it. Because the house was the same — one storey, pale yellow in colour and porch out front. It was dark save for the porch lights that Buck had learnt to leave on after that one time he tripped on the stairs and sent himself slamming into wall. Everything was as it should be except . . . except for the figure, slumping down on his front steps, long body folded almost in half, hands on knees, head on hands, brown curls gleaming in the soft yellow light.  

Buck was out of his car before he even fully registered what was going on. He walked up the driveway, trembling all over because it couldn’t be, right? He wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t for Buck, right? But he would, though. He would for, Buck. Always. That much was something he had been sure of even in his worst moments. He came to stand before the tired figure slumbering at his door. Buck stared down at him and then stared some more to make sure he was not hallucinating or anything.

“Tommy?”, he finally called, his voice barely above a whisper.

The head jerked up, Tommy’s body flinching in a way it did only when he woke up from a very deep sleep. Buck felt bad for him. He had already been at the tail end of his 48 hours when Buck had called him and then God knows how many hours they had spent trying to save everyone’s life. He must have been exhausted. Blue eyes stared up at him, wide with shock at first and then slowly it bled away, leaving bone-aching relief in its wake.

“Evan.”, Tommy whispered like he also had a hard time believing Evan was really there. Which was stupid because it was Buck’s house they were at.

“You’re finally home.”

And all at once Buck’s carefully constructed embankments crumbled. Grief and helplessness flowed in, breaking the banks, flooding the fields and Buck collapsed onto his knees, finally, finally safe in the knowledge that someone was there to catch him now. As expected, hands grabbed him by the shoulders, large and strong and steady, not pulling him up, not pushing him away but just holding him, letting him be, letting him float knowing that when it was enough, he could just tug on the line and rest assured that he would be dragged back to the shore. 

“Yes. I am home.”

Amidst the desolate landscape, between the ashes and burnt tree trunks, a tiny sapling broke the surface, not life, not yet but the hope of one.

[ganxiously]

On one hand, I am desperate for the episode to drop because Tommy! and helicopters! but on the other hand, I would give anything for the episode to never air because what if [Redacted] really does [Redacted].

And if I'm gonna be very real here guys, I might just become a watches only through yt clips fan if the-leak-that-shall-not-be-named actually does end up being a real and permanent plot.

[ganxiously]

The thing I'm looking forward to the most is Buck meeting Tommy without his 'Tommy is so great' goggles on, because let's face it, that man put Tommy on a pedestal and every time he had a reason to bring him down, he just found another excuse to keep him up there. He went through the relationship with awe colouring his features and even when Tommy broke his heart, he decided it was obviously because he himself was not good enough. That he was the one who had not been able to get Tommy to trust him. And then they meet up again and Buck is right back to staring at him in wonder. When they hook up, Buck does it with the intention of getting what he can before this perfect person leaves again and when he asks Tommy if he's no longer scared that Buck will break his heart, he is still under the impression that Tommy has never been at fault in their relationship. But then Tommy brings up the 'competition' thing and that finally does the proverbial job. The statement is so stupid and ludicrous that Buck's rose-tinted glasses are smacked right off his face and he is left behind gaping like 'who the fuck is this dumbass? This cannot be the same man I was dating??'. And kudos to Oliver Stark here because we literally see that change in his body language and expression. He loses that dumbstruck smile Buck always sports around Tommy and gets defensive. In fact, he gets offensive which is a far cry from the Buck who couldn't even protest when he got dumped. It is a different thing that he did more harm than good but at least he finally stopped with his 'Tommy knows best' mentality. And that makes me so excited because I need Buck to get snippy and angry and call Tommy out on his bullshit. I need him to know that Tommy is a living, breathing person with his fair share of faults and not some benevolent god bestowing his favour on him because that is the only way that this relationship will can be built to last.

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I'm breaking my promise to not post about buddies anymore but I went into the spoiler tag and the kind of things they were saying like what the fuck is wrong with them? This was objectively one of the best episodes of 911. Some episodes have good writing, some good direction and others good acting. This had all three. This was sniper episode, Tsunami episode levels of good and these guys are mad that their best baby boy didn't teleport 800 miles to play hero and save the day? This episode was so good I didn't even think to think about bucktommy. I was sat and my asshole was clenched because Chimney what the fuck??? give that man a break. and Ravi!!!I knew he wouldn't dissappoint. And what is wrong with these people that they just don't care??? These are the characters we have been seeing and rooting for years now. How does one not care about them at all?