#unable to get a job bartending which if I have to have supplementary income is what I’d rather have it be
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#I just got hired for a tour in the fall and like#holy fuck it’s a HUGE tour#it’s 6 weeks long and my offer is like#literally#it’ll be almost $20k#for SIX weeks of work#holy FUCK#and so I took it oBVIOUSLY#but like#idk bro I’m on a shitty easy tour with my bfs band rn and#I’m just so over it#I wanna be at home working on my store#and I’m SO frustrated that I’m not home and the only thing I like is driving and staring out the window and doing nothing#like I just don’t want this life anymore#and so I told myself that like#I’m not seeking them out I’ll let them come to me and if it’s a crazy offer or a and I like I’ll take it#*or a band I like#(enter this)#and I’m OBVIOUSLY going to do it for the money but#I think my personality has just changed a lot in the last year and a half#and I don’t have much in common with people who tour anymore#this band in particular#so I’m just freaking out over the prospect of basically spending g 6 weeks in isolation#away from the job I’ve carved out for myself which I actually like#unable to get a job bartending which if I have to have supplementary income is what I’d rather have it be#bc I’m just gonna leave for this tour#and I UGHHHHH#like I could practically put a down payment on a fucking house with what I’m getting paid for this tour it’s not an option#but I’m just SO preemptively 😵💫 about having to go do this it’s like 5 months away and I feel like I am having anger issues#UGH
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