#then i dont think that counts as surviving
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@d0vegum apostasy lwk
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#like... hollyleaf literally did this..#technically she survived short term but i mean#if you watch your soulmate drown and sink into a mass lake of blood and goo and then go yell at the spirit who tried to save them#and come to terms with the fact that they may have died in vain as you stand the only person who ever even came close to understanding them#and then give up your spirit form by merging into the paralleling lake in order to fulfill both your fates of being One#then i dont think that counts as surviving#apostasy au
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more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)
Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.
It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.
(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)
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In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.
(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)
Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.
He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.
Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.
(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)
Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.
(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)
(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)
(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)
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Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.
(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)
Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.
Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)
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Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.
I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.
(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)
In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.
And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.
#tw mentions of gore#cw gore#i suppose this counts as gore#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#childhood friends au#cfau#really leaning into the idea of rath just being a horror. the horrors! i am delighted in the horrors!#im having fun with it#i swear to god turning 19 turned a switch on in my brain because i am much more comfortable with gore and heavy injury now than i was l#literally a year ago. the urge to write about some of danny's most horrific injuries in his fights is STRONG#like the hORRORS folks. *th horrors*. i dont think i'll ever write a dissection fic because that icks me out but the idea that danny's had#to stitch up his own throat because it got slit in a fight nd he cant shift back to human until he's done because his ghost will survive bu#his body wont#the idea that he's been impaled multiple times before and it hurts each fucking time but he still gets up and hurls the hurt right back in#equal measure. because that's how you wanna play? okay. lets play. he's 14 and his best friend is dead. he can play.#and the idea that all ghosts have 'corpse' forms where their ghosts look exactly like how they died. and danny is utterly unrecognizable#jazz being liminal or not just isnt important to me because she's barely gonna show up in the story anyways#same reason why i hardly use the headcanon that ellie becomes danny's daughter because what use is she to me like that? she'll hardly have#an impact on the story and i refuse to treat characters like props. if they can't help progress the story then they aren't included
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Heavily inspired by this post.
Your fear/disgust for an animal does not determine it's worth. All animals exist for a reason.
#individuals that actively endanger human lives dont count in this situation#i understand hunting down a oredator that is threatening your loved ones and livelihood. a lone shark thats#never had contact with humans is a different story.#not mentioned but this goes for vegans who think no animal needs meat to survive. dont be responsible for animals ever.#sharks#predators#animal welfare#bears#large cats#wolf#fox#coyote#hyena#etc etc sorry i can't tag everything
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I don't know if anyone else in the whump community has read 'A Constellation of Vital Phenomena' by Anthony Marra but it is genuinely a really good book and also has some of the best depictions of torture and its aftermath that I have read in fiction.
I wanted to share some of my favourite quotes, hopefully without too many spoilers as it is out of context, but maybe skip this post if you don't want to know anything at all going in.
To give a brief summary, the book centres around the lives of people in Chechnya during the first and second war between the Russian government (Feds) and the separatist rebels. The main story focuses on a man (Akhmed) who is trying to save his neighbour's daughter from being killed by the Feds after her father is taken away in the middle of the night. He does this by taking her to a hospital where he then volunteers. One of the people in his village (Ramzan) becomes an informer for the Feds after being tortured, and this is explored in the excerpts below.
‘Information the Feds would torture them for was written here on the walls for all to see. It was well understood among the men that the Feds had as much sense as two bricks smashed together. It was also understood that pain, rather than information, was the true purpose of interrogation.'
'During his first detention in the landfill, in 1995, in the first war, he had refused to inform. They had wrestled down his trousers, shown him the bolt cutters, and still he had said no. Screaming, thrashing, with his manhood half severed, he had said no. He had done that, and now he was ready to start saying yes.'
'He would have confessed everything, but they didn't ask, weren't interested, threatened to cut out his tongue and put pliers to his teeth if he spoke one more fucking word. Electric wires were wound around his fingers. A car battery was drained into his bones. God might have been watching, but it wasn't God's finger on the battery switch. The interrogating officers didn't speak. Instead he was an instrument they played, performing a duet, and in their own way they conversed through his sobs. They both wore very shiny shoes. That was all he would remember.'
'He had trouble walking, He had forgotten torture could be so exhausting. The new interrogator, the one with less shiny shoes, held him upright, using his whole body as a crutch, and helped him walk. He carefully wiped Ramzan's forehead with a handkerchief before opening the door to the next room.'
'The interrogator with less shiny shoes crouched behind him. His hands were wet. Ramzan promised everything, and the interrogator, like the parent of a child too old to believe in ghosts, watched him with disappointment, his clear eyes saddened by Ramzan's sincerity. The interrogator took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, laid the live wires on Ramzan's chest and mapped the border of their shared humanity. Ramzan offered his soul. He begged to be enslaved. The known universe contracted to the limits of the cement floor, and on it, the interrogator was both man and deity, prophet and god. By ten o'clock the interrogator with less shiny shoes asked his first question. By eleven the electrical wires were unwound from Ramzan's fingers. By noon he was allowed to dress. By one he was on the FSB payroll. He kept thanking the interrogator with less shiny shoes.'
‘Greed didn’t motivate his informing, at least not primarily; primarily he informed by necessity, to survive, for his love and hate and above all awe of the power wielded by the interrogating officer with less shiny shoes.'
'That was his greatest fear. Could he stay silent? Could he withstand what awaited him? He told himself that his love for the girl should fortify him against any torture, but this, like so much of what he told himself, was a lie. After all, he was squeamish at the sight of blood, what would he say when lying in a puddle of his own? But he saw no other way. He would pray for the strength to stay silent, for a quick heart attack, and leave the rest to God.' (This is Akhmed POV)
'When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing, Akhmed. When they threatened to beat me, I said nothing. When they threatened to electrocute me, I said nothing. When they threatened to castrate me, I said nothing. I said nothing, Akhmed. Whatever you think of me, you remember that once I said nothing when a wiser man would have sung. And the interrogators, they couldn't believe it. They called in others to examine me. I was there on the floor, and above their faces were dark ovals silhouetted by the ceiling lights. They had beaten me hard and I couldn't hear right, but I kept saying no, with every breath I had. The main reason they let me go, the only reason they didn't shoot me right there was out of perverse respect, some sort of professional courtesy. But I wish they had shot me, Akhmed, because the good part of me died there, and all this, everything since, has been an afterlife I'm trying to escape.'
‘I knew what was coming. I knew it never stops. They put a shame inside you that goes on like a bridge with no end, the humiliation, the fucking humiliation of knowing that you are not a human being but a bundle of screaming nerve endings, that the torture goes on even when the physical hurt quietens. People treated me differently when I came back the first time.'
#torture#whump#s talks#a constellation of vital phenomena#idk what else to tag this with tbh#electricity torture#beating#I don't think it counts as gore tbh but like viewer discretion is advised#I really like this portrayal tbh#because like torture sort of is effective for the feds but they dont actually care about the truth#ramzan is mostly just giving up people who gossipped about him and then just whoever he is told he has to invent evidence on#and like obviously there are characters who do not choose to inform#akhmed does not give up the girl we know this#but yeah idk it's intersting to me#like torture as something functional but also completely empty of meaning#also I just really like the writing#and the way it talks about the aftermath and the trauma of it that alters ramzan forever in some ways#but it's also clear that it's not just the torture that made him do it like#he is a complex character and he is also trying to protect his dad who relies on insulin to survive#and he also agreed to inform to save his friend who had his fingers cut off
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the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
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cross is so shippable with anyone OUTSIDE of the bad sanses it kills me that his most popular ships ARE LITERALLY ALL BAD SANSES SHIPS 💀💀💀💀
i say as i saw this one tweet saying cross and xtale was originally meant to be art themed and he was gonna be chalk instead of cross and that meant. ink and chalk. ART SUPPLIES????? THATS SO CUTE!!!!! and then i just saw the cutest crink comic and,,,, SIGHS!!! WITH FURY BEHIND THE SIGH!!!!!!
crink cream clue crerror what other OH YA crepic (HOW COULD I FORGET CREPIC) i thought of cross x swap x fell in class like a week ago. i think it would be cute lowkey. monocherryberry. ive been seeing sprinklings of ccino x cross and i think its cute even tho i care naught for ccino. wait what would a cross x classic ship name be??? cross sans. LMAO. crossic???? comicross. paneling. OOH cross/geno. CROSS/FATAL,,,,, what about that one like crepic + fresh ship!!!! the silly gang thats so cute. literally has so much chemistry with ANYONE. ANYBODY!!! but nm killer dust and horror. outrageous
#cross gets all the bitches#except not for those 3 (motions to the fight going on between the trio) they can keep eachother#nightmare is an exception he should be alone. aroace aplatonic a prefix ANYTHING do NOT get near this man he hates you#guys how do you ccino. i dont like saying it like cappuccino but remove the cappu#NO!!!! i say it like c-seeno. ccino. seperate the first c from the rest and then say the rest with an s instead of a c#i just think its cuter that way!!! i dont LIKE saying chino. ccino. cappuchino. NO!!!! C-SEENO!!!!!#rare not mtt related post outrageous coming from triglycercule i know i know#remembering those first days when i hated cross.... and then i saw his outside the bad sanses and i was like#DAMN! i dont hate him! infact i love him! i just hate him in the bad sanses!#i have 64 drafts piles up and counting theyre bangers i just really have not been posting#FOR SOME REASON (i only come up with ideas @ night) (which sucks) (because im also busy @ night) (FUCK)#its all nightmare's fault. he cursed me because i dont like him and his shitty character#ah (sips tea(i dont even like tea lets change it to mango juice) i remember the good old days when i only had fourty piled up drafts.......#i feel like i have to comment on the piled up drafys thing every time i make a silly rant like this#guys ive not run out of brain juice i just keep coming up with ideas at inconsistent times#and then i end up forgetting to post them because wake up - 4pm is school!!!! and then i have homework and hobbies and napping and UGH!!!!!#64 drafts could be enough to post for 2 months. we will survive the winter like this#no because then i start by posting one and then i come up with 3 more so i didn't even lower the draft count#first world struggles triglycercule i know i know#tricule rant
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DISCLAIMER: i have my own opinions but mainly i just enjoy stirring up chaos. Tell me in the tags what you all think!!✨
Reblog for sample size etc etc you know it
ps. Yeah thats not a walrus emoji but its the closest i had cmooon cut me some slack guys
pps. bts as in BEHIND THE SCENES dont come @ me talking about BTS the group yall (<-actual mistake i have done. multiple times. yay.)
#polls#ao3#fanfiction#fic#word count#how do i tag thissssss i dont want to tag specific fandoms ahhhhhhhhh#uhmmmmm maybe ill do it anyways ho ho here i go#hp#naruto#mdzs#tgcf#bnha#atla#orv#tbf im tagging orv just cause i think itd be funny to get into a fandom war with kdj over ways of survival lol#hmmmm now that ive thought that i gotta tag alsp#svsss#for the same reason tbh#pidw fanboy shen yuan ftw#oooooooh you know what#lotr#asoiaf#yeah that tracks#i think thats it#cant think of other fandoms with that many super duper long fics that im also into lol#btw i may have not mentioned it until now but i just know that stwwx is with us in spirit. if not in tags. akhsksjsls#if you have no idea what stwwx is well. good for you. you dodged a bullet there lol.#cql#for real tho has anyone ever counted cql as separate from mdzs in the history of ever lol#the art of making polls to poll
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i forgot that bruce literally just lets the joker fall to his death in batman 89. i dont care super hard bc i think the rest of the movie is good enough to make up for it but its still bizarre when its a pretty well established bat trait at this point that he will try to save everybody even villains that the average person would say he really shouldnt
#og post#then again i think live action versions have always struggled with that#i think 2022 is the only one where the main villain doesnt die at the end#unless you count scarecrow in begins i guess. and riddler might survive forever? i dont remember
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SURPRISE!! You’ve been blessed with the ability to summon ONE (1) fictional character into existence for ONE (1) week! Who is it and why?
a very special very short man Exclusively From My Brain, bc he's everything to me and i think we would get along <3
#i would like to bake him a cake and tell him how much he means to me and how much he's helped me Get Through It over the years#'who is this man' thats for Me to know. yep.#but also if original characters dont count uhhhhhhh#kon el from dc comics WAIT NO I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT HES TOO BBG TO ME <3<3<3<3#um. hm. you know! i dont think id want to!#besides my Specialest Boy of course#rambles from the bog#id be down to meet any of my ocs bc in a way i Already Know Them#(barring some choice characters bc i would not survive that encounter)#but other fictional characters... id rather view from a distance yk yk#i wouldnt like to be Involved#plus then after meeting them as Real People trying to interact with their source material would feel. weird. not great.#it would feel the same as how i feel about treating real people / celebrities as if they were characters and not. yk. People.#but my boy... we could go to a cat cafe... he could play megalovania on the violin for me... we could fuck up a cop car together....
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If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?
#I think I would have: an indoor pool (but like heavily customized with a faux weather system so I could get the feeling of swimming in#rain or fog or snow etc.). a very small arcade consisting only of skee-ball and DDR machines. and an old Library Room with authentic#historical furniture/interior design to store old books/tapestries/study room equipment/whatever other antiques I'd collect. It'd be#like some fully intricate movie set or something that would feel completely like stepping into another world/time.#Though I might would trade out the arcade for a roller skating rink.. i DO love skating....#And I wouldve put rock climbing gym because I love indoor rock climbing but.. as I understand it they have to change out the rock things#on the walls every once in a while so that you can have new routes and it doesnt get boring. and I'd rather have an activty room thats like#self sustaining and doesnt require me to hire some person to come switch things around once every month. Otherwise I would#totally do that instead.#I'm also personally not counting ''craft'' type stuff like having a pottery room kiln sort of thing because#that doesn't count as 'unnessecary' to me. since stuff like that would not at all be just a hobby I 'happen to#do sometimes for fun'#but would definitely be a career sort of thing. Like if I had the money for a fully stocked sculpture room and and a sewing room#with a good machine and etc. then I would literally be professionally selling pottery and designing clothing and etc.#so I wouldn't count it as 'just a random side room I dont need' etc.#The same way that if I played tennis professionally or as a very intense hobby that takes up most of my life/time#then I wouldn't count having a tennis court in your house to practice in as 'unncesscarry' etc.#wow that is the worst I have ever spelt that word ghbjh#Un Cess Carry#ALSO would obviously have an underground bunker of some sort with food and emergency supplies which also does not count as unnecessary to m#since it's literally like... survival.. And I thought most health organizations literally reccomend that even#the common person has a small 'go bag' prepared in their house. and like an evacuation plan in case of fire or other things#It WOULD be an unnecessary rich person thing to have a full on undergRound village or something stocked with 9000 guns and#whaetever. but I think just a basic emergency room with basic supplies could still be counted under the 'not unnecessary' requirement.#Like I would say that a sprawling courtyard of flower gardens and fountains and hedge mazes that takes up like a hundred thousand#dollars a year in maintenance would count as one of the three 'unnecessary and expensive' things. But having a small garden in the#back yard with a few planters in a little greenhouse or whatever would not. The 'excessiveness' of the thing matters lol#ANYWAY!!!#Just curious what other peoples Three Main things would be... hrrmm
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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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Those shots of holly in that official netflix "half of s5 has been filmed" vid where shes standing in the wheeler kitchen looking horrified bugged me for a while and i couldnt put my finger on it but.... its daylight out in these scenes?
I mean the curtains are shut in typical wheeler fashion (wasting electricity when natural daylight is outside we love a unsustainable household) but its clearly NOT nighttime outside yet.
I figured what holly might be seeing is UD related but UD beings dont come out til the sun goes down? Or at least they dont make full appearences until its dark out. Its pretty metaphorical ig since fire + sunlight seems to be the UDs weakness. I feel like thats something thats definitely been very consistent throughout the show.
Now that i think about it, that was also initially the strange thing about the first time holly saw the DG in s1- it was also still daylight out. Could it have actually taken her if it wanted to?
Either the UD monsters developed an immunity to daylight or what holly is seeing here cant be related to a UD monster in that moment, per se.
#i mean maybe theres an exception to this i just cant think of one off the top of my head#i dont count vecna visions bc thats not technically vecna making an appearance in the right side up#i do find it interesting that the first one max survives takes place during daytime - which is pretty apt#all the successful vecna kills happen at night#hell i think its pretty intentional given all the nocturnal predator symbolism in st ie owls and tigers#holly wheeler
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Dude I actually have SO many discarded fankid designs like Emmie has gone by three different friend groups and even for the current lineup there have been some forgotten kiddos you guys actually have no idea how many fankids I've designed NSKXBSKXBKX
#and yet emmie has survived all of this#maybe that's why she has changed the most#because the rest i just dumped JSODJSKDNSKX#no but like#at first i created a group of four kids#there was a knouge kid in there for those who keep insisting for one#i actually dont like these pairings#and so emmie was the one survivor who was joined by sparks#and then with emmie and sparks i made ANOTHER GROUP#which i think consisted of six fankids???#and that's when aim came to be#the other three kids are gone#AND THERE WAS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A SALLICOLE KID#her name was techna but looking back destiny is definitely a better character lol#ALSO YEA I DESIGNED AIM WAAAAY BEFORE LASH#lash i designed on her own#then i decided to post aim make him go public BAHBSKZBSKX#and then i created bria tulip and destiny all on their own#AND THEN WHEN DESIGNING SPADES SHE WAS ACTUALLY PART OF A WAVE#she was designed next to two other characters who were later dumped#then i designed another kid that i lost their design -cries- and im not sure if i should actually add them???#and ive been designing some other kids but i dont think ill post them#maybe one??? they're too cute i don't know im tempted#i don't know if they even count as a fankid tho lol#but yeah i just felt like rambling about this BAHZBAHXBSKXNS#shale and mareep aren't the only forgotten kids/hj
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hm
#ramble tag#more like vent tag but i refuse to have one of those you can just ignore me you are smart#like seriously dont read this unless you really wanna and are snooping#i think there's something wrong with my brain#the executives have really refused to function#or some such nonsense i don't know i am just saying things#if i blame it on a vaguely medical sounding problem i feel less personally responsible about it#its been roughly 4 days#the hours are slipping away like sand through fingers#and i cant Do Anything#its infuriating#i can only Think about all the work i need to do but i Can't Do it#i only have 6 days left probably less i dont know the exact deadline and i have made No progress and i know i just have to Start#but like every time there is a slightest huccup i just get pulled away from the task and oops its dark out now!#and its like i dont even care#i am not sad or scared or angry except i know i should be so its like a ghost of a feeling#i dont want to die and dont want to live if i could i would just sit and read or even just think alone with my mind for a week straight#after i post this i will open the document pull out the tablet and start again i need to Start#aughhhh#how am i even an adult human person#this cant be how real human people live nothing would ever get done and we would starve to death#people here like to say that ooh 20 is not an adult that doesn't count but like#if i was less of a dumbass i would be living if not on my own then not with my parents#and i cant imagine surviving like that#that might be part of why that didn't happen#i am straight up just not an independent person right now#i have been avoiding booking an appointment to cut my hair for half a month#and avoiding scheduling to pick up the piercings I Wanted for 2! maybe 3! i dont know anymore!#okay this ends here#not the moping the tags
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cassavania midturne thoughts (watched eps 1-2):
Who's that. that's not maria. what the hell happened to her, I can't articulate it well but she always feels like she's at a boiling point, of course she would be pissed at being stifled bc she's 12 but it doesn't feel like her ok..... I think their template for angry little girls is all the same but if she could go "my parents died ^__^" and tell dracula to shut his evil shit up silly style and you KNOW she's mourning, you could've done that with one of her parents alive. idk idkkkkk and richter oh my god
I don't like how quickly everyone seems to go along with stuff it's weird as well, you're getting rid of cvs campiness and for what. you got rid of their whimsy. it's got great handles on grief and you speedran it it's weirdddd
#speak iza#dont take this seriously i cant articulate my thoughts but its also weird. with the loredumps#i can handle those but yk how in cv games you get journals in your menu and stuff#i fucking lost my shit when edouard just went omg its the vampire who killed annettes mom and enslaved her SORRY.#YOU COULDNT INTRODUCE THTA BETTER???????#anyways i did count the references.they have once again not rly included the gamw motifs in their music but idk its been a while#and im only on 2. we'll see#netflixvania tw#call him a wanker again why dont you. god fuck this characterization#calling it richters cuck magic bc its so doodoo (jokes)#thats not even them......closes eyes forever#i cant even begin to imagine what ken thinks#survive......
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some of yall when a persecutor isnt a "misguided protector" or "misunderstood" but a fucking racist
#rea's rambling#like girl they are in there trying to cause us harm and ruin our lives#like. aint persecutors forming because of the abusers we survived through our life#cuz thatd make sense#like persecutors form as a personification of what caused the system to be there in the first place a lot of the time dont they#i may be wrong but im also soeaking from personal experience#did#did system#persecutor#racism mention#THIS IS NOT ME SAYING THAT COLLECTIVE ACCOUNTABILITY DOESNT COUNT IN THIS CASE. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. THIS IS ME SAYING THATS ITS ANNOYING#WHEN PEOPLE ASSUME OR TALK ABOUT PERSECUTORS LIKE THEYRE MISUNDERSTOOD AND THEN GET UPSET WHEN THEY FIND OUT SOME PERSECUTORS ARE JUST PLAI#BAD FUCKING PEOPLE. IF YOUR PERSECUTORS GETS RACIST OR HATEFUL TOWARDS SOMEONE COLLECTIVE ACCOUNTABILITY IS NECESSARY#IF ANY OF YOUR ALTERS DO#okay thats it#js wanted to make sure people dont think we let our persecutor be racist as fuck to other people and that even if it ever happened that we'#let it slide#cuz i aint getting cancelled#i mean i already did ig#anti endo#not endo safe
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