#then he got SHOT AT the season after THAT

[revelboo]

Welcome to Smirks and Smiles of TFA Optimus. I didn't grab any from Season one, but here are a bunch from season two, thought you might like.

Everyone, including me like to think he is a wholesome lil man, but those devious smirks say otherwise XD

Oooh yes… he’s such a good bot. Because it’s what’s expected of him. The responsible one, the serious one who always has a plan. Let him lose control a bit, be a little wild and deviant

18+ Mass displaced mech 🌶️

TFA Optimus Scenarios

TFA Optimus x Reader

• Startling at the mass displaced mech when Optimus rests his cheek on top of your head and wraps his arms around you, you smile. Just draping himself against your back and nearly knocking you forward into the kitchen counter. Setting down the dish you’d been about to put up in the cabinet, you hold onto his arm. “Bad day?” Know no one else is around if he’s being clingy and he just groans to make you wonder what went sideways. “They’re still not listening to you?”

• “There’s no sense of team or cohesion. No communication or strategy, they just all do their own thing,” he mutters, venting to stir your hair. And you lift a hand to touch his jaw. ‘Babe, you’ve got to learn to be assertive,’ you say and he almost laughs. None of them really bother to listen to him. Not even Ratchet and he’s never been that aggressive. ‘You could practice on me.’ Stilling against you, recognizing that tone, his spike immediately stirs behind his plating. Almost whines despite himself when you slip out of his arms and back away, smiling mischievously.

• Sari and Bee are out patrolling. That buys you a few hours as long as they don’t actually find anything and comm for help. Slowly retreating as Optimus follows, those audial fins of his perk up. And you’ve been trying to get him to be a bit more aggressive during sex. Or lovemaking as he insists you call it, the big hopeless romantic getting so offended if you call it just sex. Heading into the room he’d claimed as his, you start stripping before he’s even got the door closed, watching those audial fins flatten back when he looks to make sure no one’s around to see you. Sitting down on the human height berth he’d rigged after you’d started fooling around, you ease back on your elbows and look up at him. “Okay, big guy. You call the shots.”

• Audials going back as you shift to spread your thighs in invitation, he swallows a needy growl and reaches to run a palm against your thigh. Assertive. When he prefers you to take the lead, to tell him what you need. And your expression is all challenge, looking up at him and hooking a leg against his hip. “Get up on the berth,” he manages. “On your hands and knees.” Freeing his spike when you obey him, he climbs up after you, reaching to cup you. Stroking a servo deep, checking how wet you are for him before he’s shifting against you. Slipping his servo free to catch his spike and press inside you. “This okay?”

• Shivering at the familiar burn of him stretching you, you push back against him. Feel his servos tighten on you before relaxing. “Mmm,” you murmur, as he adjusts behind you. “What do you want, babe?” And he presses a palm between your shoulders to ease your upper body down, hips up. The position making him feel even bigger inside you, making you very aware of his spike when he slowly rocks his hips.

• You’re so tight around his spike, so warm and slick as he pumps his hips. Finding a rhythm much more urgent than normal. Taking out his frustration on you. Hips snapping against you to make you moan. “Want to spark you,” he groans, hips pumping in hard drives. Imagines rutting against you, making love to you then snaring you with his spark. How that would feel. Being inside you while you’re tangled in him. Claiming you, claiming all of you as his. “Let me spark you.” Lost in those needy cries and the wet sound of his spike inside you, he bows forward, slamming a hand down on the berth for balance. Thrusting deep again and again. “Let me have this. I need it, please.”

• He’s begging again, hips snapping against you. Chasing that peak is all you’re focused on. Have no idea what he’s asking, but if he doesn’t stop moving, you don’t care. He can have whatever he wants. He’s never been this rough with you, thrusts almost wild. And you’re so close. “Please, give it to me,” you whimper, rocking back to meet him. Crying out when you come apart and he keeps moving, dragging it out. You feel his denta graze your neck as his chassis presses against your back and he’s filling you with a groan, hips still bucking even as you feel his plating shift at your back right before you’re snared in him. In his spark in a way you didn’t even know was possible.

[sgiandubh]

Critics' Choice Awards, 2025. Let's go!

She wears Prada tonight, which is interesting and also looks like a huge relief recently hit her:

First red carpet shots:

Where is that damned ring, anyways?

That long gone light seems to be back on her face. I wonder what might have happened, in the meanwhile:

Gareth Bromell, always serviceable:

I downloaded the reel and slowed it down, at a 0.25 speed ratio. Here is what I saw, in what clearly was a rented sort of space/serviced flat, while preparing for the event.

A third person is in that room. Nope, that is clearly a blonde young woman and her sleek, black handbag:

Clearer, my God, to Thee:

Handbag and silver glasses case (?):

This is how C, a very touchy-feely person, playfully thanks/encourages her queer hairdresser. I can honestly assure you this is nowhere near what I saw at that Taylor Swift concert, with S:

The black overcoat/whatever on the far right (blue arrow) belongs, I believe, to the Blonde Young Woman, who is wearing matching pants:

Now, for the million dollar question: who is that Blonde Mystery Woman?

It's not Karla Welch, her stylist tagged by Gareth. This is Karla Welch:

We know Karla Welch was there today, working. But not on that reel, nope:

Is it Mary Wiles, her MUA?

This is Mary Wiles...

... who was also skin prepping her for the event, in that room. But not on that reel:

Is it the third person tagged by Bromell, Grace Wrightsell, stylist and self-awoved 'lover of tchotchkes'?

Clearer:

I think so, or at least, I am reasonably leaning towards it. The nose, forehead, smile and hairstyle are a very good match with Mystery Blonde Woman:

I mean, it's hard to tell, with that appalling light and no makeup, as compared to this pic of Mrs. Wrightsell in full battledress (delicious East Coast style, by the way):

She was there, too. Tagged Bromell and two other stylist friends, Caroline Ninger and Maya Heslow. None of which look like Blonde Mystery Woman (you can go check, I am done with following dead tracks, tonight):

Five stylists to prep C. Important moment, apparently and one in which *** would definitely like to be directly involved (relevant in a very short while, below).

Residual theory: could it be The Nanny and not at all the above glamorous apparition? I mean, why not, after all, but there is way too little evidence to circumstantiate that. Could it be a minder/PA? Yes, but in fact, no. Minders/PAs don't play along all the prepping process and they tend to keep to their job description (remember McGill sultrily dragging that accoutrement bag on a wet sidewalk, with no C in sight, some years ago?).

And *** was prominently there, of course:

Mrs. Allison Hoffman, President, Domestic Networks for ***. Nope, not The Mystery Blonde Woman, either. Took me a while, as both look fairly generic Anglo-Saxon.

And then, we have this weird interview, just in on YouTube:

Just two things, as I take them verbatim for our Spanish girls:

Access Hollywood Journo (AHJ)- 00:45: 'You and S have such great chemistry, talk to me about your bond off-camera, cause I know you guys really support each other...'

C: 'Yeah, I mean, look, we've been such good mates and we've sort of... we've varied (?), we've made a very conscious decision back in Season 1, like a million years ago, that we have to have each other's backs and we've kinda stuck to that, and I was texting with him yesterday, and he's great, you know, he's living his best life at the moment, so...'

AHJ: 'He kinda... I remember him (scrambled..) he's like a big outdoorsman, like he's very into the ..'

C:'Yeah, he got the whole keep fit bug, I did not. Sooo... anyway...'

Wait a minute, Mrs. B, you don't have 'the keep fit bug' and yet you ran a marathon (ah, those romantic pics with McGill... 😅😅😅😅) and allegedly prepare to run another half-marathon in Paris, shortly? Wow. I am shocked.

Also, Mrs. B, you don't have 'the keep fit bug' and you keep literature like this on your bookshelves? Blimey. I should consider buying an orthodontics treatise, then.

[ Remember how I landed here, ROFLMAO? https://sgiandubh.tumblr.com/post/720483288334090240/it-all-starts-with-a-smoke-alarm]

But sure, go ahead, treat your Stans and the Casuals with formulaic, semi-annoyed BS like this. Especially when Mrs. Hoffman is around, mind you. That contract ain't over, yet.

To save the best for last, let's draw The Husband card from that tarot deck. Always, always a success with The Masses:

AHJ: '(...) who is your biggest fan?'

C:' Who's my biggest fan? Oh... whoa...I hope my husband' [contrived laughter].

'I hope.' What?! "I HOPE'? Hello?

Just two quick notes. If her face could speak by itself, while her brain was scrambling to quickly answer something to that question, we'd probably hear Bridget Jones' most famous line ever:

Also, her Irish brogue was back at full speed. Something we know she always does when she is really, really pissed.

But wouldn't you like to know who was C's +1 at that event, after all?

Come on, I know you do. All of you, ladies. Even the people in the back who snoop in here without logging in, from a different browser and then send Anons across the street with The Scoop (ROFLMAO).

Here is who I think was C's +1 tonight:

Karolina Wydra, her best friend ever. And yes, the picture was taken on behalf of the Critics' Choice Association, unlike many of the whole lot, which makes it almost official.

We were told so.

Something is definitely going on. Enough said, this post is horribly long, but I tried my very best.

Anyways Kathy Bates won. But that was really a no brainer.

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Vanity Fair

Plot: Vanity Fair returns again to shoot for the upcoming Mandalorian film

Word Count: 1.8K

Pairing: Paul Mescal x Reader, Pedro Pascal x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: sweet "father-daughter" moments, laughter&giggles, just general fluff, reader is a badass

—————

It’s always a joy to fly out to California for a photo shoot in which you were dying to be involved. You were excited to receive news from your team of another cover shoot for Vanity Fair for the Mandalorian and Grogu with the amazing Annie Leibovitz who did the cover shoot for the Star Wars series in 2022 when you wrapped season three. 

Paul with a clear schedule from productions was working on tagged along with his words, “I get to see my girlfriend and Pedro in action and be on vacation sign me up.”

After a flight and a long sleep at the hotel, you were up and at it earlier at the studio, trapped in hair and makeup. Paul was easily handled by Pedro, who showed up with a later call time and minimal work done in the makeup trailer. Paul looks in wonder at the large virtual soundstage, and it looks like they are on another planet.

“This is insane man,” Paul breathes out spinning in a circle, any kid would freak out thinking they were on a real planet. Pedro laughs as Coco tweaks some stray hairs as the Mandalorian helmet rests on his hip.

“That’s how I felt when I first got on set it’s otherworldy with the build sets then adding this changes the whole environment,” Pedro explains and Paul nods.

“Home sweet home,” You hum strolling onto the set. Paul has to do a double take and Pedro lets out a loud whistle.

“Loving the new hairdo,” Pedro says as you mock gasp pointing at your new short wig. Your hair barely touched your chin in a shag style a big difference from your natural hair and from what he’s seen of the show your character’s.

“This ol’ thing. I originally was gonna cut it short but with Where the Wild Things Are better just to use a wig.” You say and smile up a Paul, “Like the new look?”

You felt so comfortable in your new costume for this film, you loved all of your season’s looks especially season three with your cloak and so glad it continued with this piece. You wore dark pants with padding at the knees, grey boots that stopped right before your knee, a long-sleeved off-white shirt with paneling all down the chest, and sleeves that ombre to a dirty grey, and your favorite part the long tattered brown cloak that comes with a hood. In tune with your character a holster around your belt and hip for your blaster and vibro-knife, plus the buckle where your saber hilt rests.

“Very cool looking and comfortable,” He hums feeling the fabric of your cloak, and you sway allowing the fabric to swoosh around you.

“I got my cloaks and you got your skirts.” You tease at his costuming for his project and he huffs out a laugh.

You and Pedro are called to your places getting a decent view of Paul who stands beside Coco and your hairstylist as you’re guided by Annie to pose. 

“It’s a bit weird knowing you’re under there,” You comment to Pedro who stands beside you as the crew tweaks a few lights, “I’m so used to Brendan or Lateef here.”

You hear the muffled chuckle from him underneath the helmet.

“They should’ve photoshopped my face onto them for this. I could’ve been home sleeping.” He says and you scoff shoving his shoulder making him only laugh louder.

They have this huge wind machine that has your cloak blowing in the breeze and Pedro’s smaller one too. It’s a lot of broody looks with the two of you standing further apart, representing the distance between you. They move to solo shots starting with Pedro as your stylist tweaks strands of hair and powders your face as they replace your hilt for the full LED saber.

“Sick huh,” You smirk at Paul who looks over the detailing in the hilt to the exposed channel that holds the kyber crystal.

“Can you still handle that thing?” He teases and you give him a betrayed look and you hear Coco stifle back a laugh.

“How dare you—” Before you can go off on him you’re called on to replace Pedro who is taking off the helmet coming over.

Pedro gives Coco and Paul a confused look at the determined look on your face as you pass, “What’s up with her?”

“Paul questioned if she can still handle the lightsaber,” Coco says and Pedro gives Paul a shocked look as if the question was aimed at him.

“You know she’s got like five years of training with that thing, it’s practically muscle memory now?” Pedro says as the three of them watch you stand on the sand soundstage posing a glint in your eyes. Pedro elbows Paul in the side, “You’re gonna get it now.”

“Alright can we get a little action from you for both video and photo,” Annie says as the other camera person gets another angle.

“Whatever I want?” You ask and Paul should have noticed the hole he dug himself in. You were about to flame his ass from his comment.

“Your comfort level,” Annie says and you give a slight nod twisting your wrist to twirl the saber lightly. Tracing your foot along the sand to get a solid footing before doing a simple sequence you’ve been honing for a while, especially in this costume piece. You twirl the saber around your body seamlessly to others at a jaw-dropping place, you drag your foot through the sand kicking it up slightly as you start your rotation with your back toward the camera as you let go of the saber a skill you’ve been practicing for months.

Practically half of the crew’s jaws drop including Paul as the blade flips and twirls freely in the air behind your back as you complete your rotation catching it in your non-dominant hand before slicing at the camera. It’s quiet for a bit before someone starts clapping and you smile giving a bit of a dramatic bow catching Paul’s gaze a smug look on your face. Your face screams ‘How’s that for handling it?’

“I think we’re good on those shots and a riveting performance,” Annie says and you smile walking off the set with a bounce in your step. The crew changes the set around as you return the stunt saber to the weapons handler.

Pedro claps you on the shoulder, “Very impressive chiquita?”

“How the hell?” Paul breathes out and you shrug acting all innocent.

“That? Just a little something on the fly,” you shrug, coming over, “Maybe not question someone who has been in color guard since the sixth grade, where these skills are a cakewalk.” You press a kiss to his cheek before heading off to change into your next costume. Paul watches you walk away, talking casually to your stylist, and he can feel gazes on him, seeing both Pedro and Coco giving him knowing looks.

“Damn, she’s got you whipped,” Paul’s face flushes red as Pedro let out a full-body laugh and Coco has to hide her laughter behind her hand.

The rest of the shoot was so much fun especially when the Grogu puppet was brought on set to get ‘family’ portraits done. It was always fun being with Pedro, but the two of you were never able to act seriously on set. After a few hours, you wrapped heading back to the makeup trailer to return to normal.

“Ugh, my hair was screaming to be freed,” You say massaging your scalp as you walk up to Paul who is waiting at a crafty table. He smirks seeing your very casual attire, your hair out from under all the pins and wig caps a bit messy in some jeans and one of his graphic tees.

“You always gonna steal my shirts,” He pulls at the hem of his shirt and you grin up at him.

“They are so comfy and better than mine,” You comment and he rolls his eyes while taking your hand as you head to the car.

“Pedro invited us out to dinner tonight,” He brings up and you hum letting your hands swing as you walk. It’s silent between you two until he looks down at you, “Should I be scared of your quietness?”

You just hum and he can see a teasing glint in your eyes, “Oh nothing just thinking that if Tiya and Lucius were in a fight I would whoop your ass.” That has Paul laughing.

“I love you but I highly doubt you would beat Lucius.” He comments.

“I’m a jedi!” You retort and he shakes his head,

“Even without the force, she’s facing a twenty-four gladiator and your character is what eighteen?” Paul laughs the competitiveness in him coming out a bit, “Lucius would destroy you.”

“In this film, she’s twenty-one so it’s only three years difference, and even without the force Tiya has better swordsman skills than Lucius,” You point out before whipping out your phone, “Nah I need a fucking poll cause I know she would whoop his ass, hell everyone in that film. If you had her in Gladiator that film would’ve been over in seconds.” Paul laughs as you speedily type up a poll before posting it on your Instagram.

“They are probably gonna say you 'cause they love you more,” Paul comments opening the car door for you before coming around the other side.

“No, I told them to think fairly, a fight on strength and skill no powers from Tiya.” You comment already seeing the polls shifting between the two some defending Tiya and other Lucius. “I think if either of our characters got into a fight that didn’t end in blood Tiya would probably find Lucius intriguing.” Your comment has Paul smirking as he reverses out of the parking spot.

“A jedi with a gladiator how scandalous,” He grins and you giggle.

“I mean she likes her men that can fight so most likely but Lucius is too devout for his wife to think of other women,” Your comments make him groan slightly cursing his character.

“Well I hope Lucius heals to allow him to pursue other women cause Tiya would be right up his alley,” The car gets at a red light and he turns to face you leaning closer, “Good with a sword, strong, deadly…beautiful.”

You lean in over the center console as his eyes dart quickly at your lips before making eye contact. A tension holds between you just a breath away.

Your hum sweetly makes his gaze darken, “The light’s green.” The car honks behind him has him grumbling under his breath as he focuses on the road. You laugh leaning over and pressing a kiss to his jawline.

“Let’s get home huh, gladiator?”

“Whatever you want, jedi.”

[mrs-stans]

INTERVIEW: Sebastian Stan on Curiosity, Confrontation, and His Oscar Contenders

Sebastian Stan has had a wild twelve months that I strangely found myself a small part of.

Stan received critical acclaim and awards attention for two films: A Different Man, where he played an actor with a facial disfigurement, and The Apprentice, where he played a young Donald Trump. Both performances are intricately detailed and precise, evading stereotypes and caricatures amidst shifting themes and tones. They also encapsulate a common theme in his work that I first noticed in Fresh: exploring characters’ darker impulses that others either miss or deliberately ignore. Despite their acclaim, both films struggled with distribution and promotion, with The Apprentice facing lawsuit threats and industry hesitance to engage with the film. He went viral after revealing that he couldn’t participate in Variety’s Actors on Actors series because other actors’ publicists didn’t want them discussing the newly-elected president. (My tweet describing the situation as reprehensible went viral, too.) Despite the blowback, Stan remained upfront and outspoken, fashioning himself as a fearless, principled artist during a fraught political and cultural moment.

Stan’s unique position and detailed approach to his work were reinforced in my interview with him for AwardsWatch, conducted days after he won the Golden Globe for A Different Man and before his Oscar nomination for The Apprentice. It was a full circle moment of sorts for me, after advocating for A Different Man since seeing it in April, interviewing Matia Bakalova for The Apprentice, and meeting director Aaron Schimberg following a screening in New York. During our conversation, I sensed that he wanted to meet his moment in time responsibly, emphasizing how important curiosity and empathy were to the human condition. Given his challenges in releasing and promoting his films, I also sensed, through our few interactions, how genuinely moved he was by the support and recognition he’s received. (Case in point: he was incredibly generous with his time when he didn’t have to be.) It’s near-impossible not to be thrilled for him and the acknowledgment of his talent and thoughtfulness.

My goal in publishing this interview in full is for others to sense what I have about Sebastian Stan over these past twelve months by giving him the space to share his journey, in this awards season and in the larger context of his complex career.

[NOTE: This interview has been slightly edited for clarity.]

It’s an embarrassment of riches to say you are in two awards-contending films, The Apprentice and A Different Man. What has the experience been like for you this season?

It’s been very surreal. You never really know the outcomes of any film when you go and make them. You’re always just hoping they turn out well, especially if they’re shot under crazy circumstances, which both of these films were. A Different Man was 24 days, still in COVID, in New York, and it was just running and gunning to try and make the day, every day. And [Aaron] was trying to shoot it on film, and he had these beautiful one-take shots, which required everybody in the crew to be on the same page. And then The Apprentice, I’ve been trying to get going since 2019, and every time we got close, it fell apart. [So] you hope people will watch it. And when you get into this wild time that is the fall, where you’ve got so many films coming out and major studios contending like Netflix, Amazon, and Apple, and everyone’s got their horses in the race, so to speak, you don’t know if your movie will cut through.

A Different Man had an interesting journey. It’s amazing because Aaron and I kept saying, “Look, somehow we’re at the Gothams, and then the Gotham thing happened.” Or, “Wow, we’re at the Globes,” or, “Wow, we got to Berlin.” There were all these signs that this film was connecting with people, but it felt like we always had to be the cheerleaders to A24 about it [and say], “Let’s keep going.”

With The Apprentice, it had no marketing. When we finally got the movie from, basically, not being almost censored, we had two and a half months of trying to get the film out with any marketing, like billboards on Sunset Boulevard or anything like that. So when you get to the Globes, and I’m sitting there, and I’m going, “Wow, this actually happened with both of these films,” you can’t help but feel grateful because this is the win. This is probably as good as it’s going to get. And then, obviously, anything that happens after that is an amazing moment, but in terms of getting both films seen, it helps to have those moments.

How do you feel after winning the Globe? I’m sure there’s probably some vindication or celebration of the fact that this film you championed was recognized in the first major event of the season.

It was incredibly gratifying for many reasons. One, for the film and getting more attention to it. Two, for the film’s subject matter. It’s not an easy, simple film. It’s beautiful, complex, funny, and tragic and speaks to such big questions and themes. When you look at films like that, there aren’t a lot out there. You want to encourage people like Aaron Schimberg to keep working and making them, for people to keep looking at Adam Pearson as an actor first and not as somebody with a disfigurement, and to envision him in [other] ways. I think that’s what this movie does so brilliantly; for that purpose, it’s amazing.

For me, at 42 years old, having been around and doing this for 20-somewhat years, you’re always hoping that you’re going to be up there someday and thank some of these people. I could’ve been up there for an hour, you know? So many people have contributed to my life, and you just want to highlight everybody. But it was a nice moment for my mom and the close people in my life.

But then it was scary because…we woke up the next day, and 24 hours later, these fires were happening, and suddenly, we were in a different world, and we’ve been in a different world since. It’s been hard to look back at that because it’s been crazy watching so many people lose their homes, people that I know.

Hopefully, everything’s been okay for you.

Yeah, everything’s okay. Fortunately, everyone’s okay, but there are friends and people we know who have lost their homes and everything…or just the entire neighborhood, especially in the Palisades area. It’s really difficult to wrap your mind around it. Mother Nature…I don’t know if there’s anything more humbling than that, right? We all end up being put in the backseat, and none of it really matters at that point. We’re all in the same boat, you know? But hopefully, we’ll get a little bit better today.

I really hope so. Now, getting into your career and these films, do you see any similarities between the two roles of Edward/Guy and Donald Trump?

I do because, to me, I feel like they are two different forms of narcissism, two different forms of extreme narcissism. When I think of narcissism, I think of denying and suppressing who we really are and inventing another person. If you want to look at psychological terms, you call it the super-ego. When the distance between your true self and this other invented version you’re putting forward continues to grow because you’re constantly suppressing and lying about yourself, you have to create a bigger and bigger lie. It starts to have consequences that affect you and the people around you.

Edward is a singular person in his own world, [while Trump] happens to be a political figure who is meant to be a leader and an authoritative figure, meant to be an example to other people. His reach and how he inspires certain people goes much, much further. I’ve always seen both films as a denial of reality and a loss of humanity. That’s what the Trump story is to me. It’s what happens when you completely abandon empathy and morals and are only trying to fuel and feed this one particular need, and you have no regard for consequences that affect other people. Everything’s transactional as long as he can keep his lie alive.

What I see in Trump is a very broken, pained, paranoid, insecure little boy. I don’t say that to simply go, “Yes, he’s human, and you should feel bad for him.” I also say that to highlight the flaws that might get in the way of this person having power, moral authority, and so on. I don’t know if that’s the person I would necessarily trust, you know? Even in these horrific fires, instead of offering solutions, he’s sitting there and using what’s happening in California to serve his story and narrative, point fingers, and assign blame. It’s horrific to me.

With Edward, he feels that he’s made a mistake denying or suppressing himself, but he’s not connecting with that, and, as a result, he ends up becoming kind of a monster himself. Everything revolves around what has been taken from him, but he never assumes responsibility for the fact that he surrendered rather than someone having taken it from him. There are these complex themes that I think are relatable and interesting, and I don’t know if people connect that with those two movies, but I was able to speak about them for the last few months.

What I find fascinating about your career, and correct me if I’m wrong, is that I think you’ve selected characters who have some form of inner darkness beneath the “Sebastian Stan of it all.” I think you’ve done a great job communicating that darkness and how it manifests and festers in different ways. Sometimes it’s loud and funny and exciting, like in Pam and Tommy, and sometimes it can be dark and insidious, like in The Apprentice, Sharper and Destroyer. Is that something you’ve been actively seeking?

I think I have been curious about gravitating towards things that feel complex or I don’t quite understand right away because I find that’s how people are. I think sometimes, when we have discomfort with certain films, the pity of that discomfort can translate into ignoring something altogether because “I don’t want to go there.” Sometimes, it’s something we haven’t confronted yet or don’t want to confront. To me, one of those is that we are not perfect people. People are flawed and are all susceptible to going in very different ways.

I think we all walk around with some version of an angel and a devil on each shoulder. Every day is a decision we make to go out in the world and either hurt or try to help somebody, even in a small way. Like, you go and get a cup of coffee, and maybe you smile at the person, or you don’t even look at them. We’re conscious of things; we’re not conscious of things.

I’m always trying to learn more about myself. I don’t think of any roles as particularly reflective of me, necessarily, but I like surprising myself. I think that’s what I’m supposed to do as an actor: keep exploring humanity and its diversity. I love when there are these roles that feel closer to the truth, that it’s not always black and white, that it’s not always just a good guy and a bad guy. It’s complex. Unfortunately, there are very good people in the world who don’t have the tools and sometimes end up hurting others. There are also sometimes psychopaths that can reflect one good quality, and you wonder if somebody in their life had supported that quality more, would it have been different? I think that’s what’s interesting to me: just how big the scope is in terms of being a human.

Digging into the films themselves, we can start with The Apprentice; I spoke with Maria Bakalova last month, and she told me — and I was blown away by this — that the scene where Donald breaks down after Fred Junior’s death was largely improvised. I’d love to know how you conceived that moment.

I think that was an experience that’s so reflective of my process and how I approach this work. You can go home at night and do all this preparation. You prepare for months before and hope you get there, and you surrender to the director, the other actors, the moment, the scene. You envision things sometimes going a certain way, but almost nine out of 10 times, they don’t go that way. There’s something else happening, and it’s always about staying open to that.

In the script, there was always this moment with Donald being alone in the bathroom and breaking down, and then Ivana walks in and finds him and he quickly cleans himself up and says, “Nothing happened.” We shot it a couple of times, and there were takes where that happened. Then there was another take where, in the moment, I froze, and that was the truth of the scene. Maria walked in, and I knew we weren’t shooting the scene we were supposed to. But we still stayed in it and explored what happened. Fortunately, as was the process with the whole movie, Ali kept rolling, and thankfully, it carried us into the bedroom. We got into bed, and she put her hand on my hand. And then suddenly, all that [emotion] started to happen in that moment. Then I jumped and punched the wall, which didn’t make it into the film, but you had this moment before, which did.

That’s the beauty of this work, what I love about it. If you stay open, there’s a way it can go where you didn’t see it going that ends up being closer to the truth. And you want it always to be as close to the truth as possible.

What aspect of Donald Trump were you most excited and scared to explore?

It’s a really great question; thank you for asking that. I feel actors have to stay curious. I think the creative language is more powerful than any language we have on this earth. No matter where we come from, what we believe, how we were raised, or what language we speak, it’s the one thing that I feel, human to human, we can get to if we can allow ourselves to stay curious.

For me, I thought, “I really want to let me try and find out who this person is.” Going back in time and looking at some of the early footage [of him], I saw a vulnerability and insecurity there that I didn’t know existed, that seemed to be buried down deep underneath this pile of bravado, this carefully curated, Clint Eastwood-like, Zoolander stare down that we’re getting. There was a real person there at one point. I wanted to know more about that and how he became what he became.

I think what scared me the most was, knowing that he’s so well-known and in our faces everywhere, that I felt it was almost near-impossible to get anyone even to spend two hours trying to figure out who this guy was. He’s been done so many times. There are so many caricatures and impressions of him, and these mannerisms that he has now, the way he speaks, the lips, everything… I had to pick and choose how to filter that out through two hours so that people could connect with and believe in the reality and not be disconnected because of what they know.

What helped was that, when he was younger, he was less. There was a lot less of what you see now, those things that have built over time. His voice didn’t sound like he does now; his mannerisms weren’t as specific. That was the challenge and fear, just knowing that if I do a little too much too soon, I’m going to lose everybody. I’m just going to be thrown in there as just another kind of impression.

You’ve spoken about growing up in Romania during the collapse of the Soviet Union, experiencing political unrest and dissent. Did any of those personal experiences shape your performance of Trump or how you approached the film overall?

Yeah, totally. I think this idea about the American Dream that I, my parents, and everybody else in Romania at the time were dreaming and talking about was what I was trying to explore with [the film]. It’s about Trump and Roy Cohn, but it’s also about this ideology. What does it really do to a person? I think we see this over time. There are plenty of examples… if you look at Elon Musk… he keeps growing stronger and bigger, and there’s this idea of power corrupting absolutely. You can make your own thoughts about what he’s become, but there’s something about this American Dream.

When I came to America, my mom said, “We’re here now, and I’ve sacrificed my life, and you have to make something of yourself because you’re going to have this opportunity that so many kids are not going to have. You’re lucky that we got this far.” This is something that 100% helped me, but it’s complicated. I hear that; it drives me, but I also feel this burden of responsibility and this pressure of, “What if I fail? What if it doesn’t happen? How do I deal with this?”

I find that many people in this business, and Silicon Valley and Wall Street, you see people getting more money, accumulating more things or more awards, or they get there, and it’s never enough. There’s always something else, so they have to get another thing. If you’re nominated once for one Oscar and don’t get nominated for another 10 years, then you’re in the “one-time-only club.”

This is, to me, part of the story of The Apprentice. When is it enough, and what does it do to a person? So I think my journey through Vienna and coming here and trying to understand what it means to be an American, growing up in America, 100% influenced me with that part, and probably also drove me to do it.

Moving to A Different Man, the first thing that struck me was how you retain Edward’s physicality while playing Guy while also performing what Guy imagines being a person who never had a physical disability or disfigurement is like. Could you walk me through that process?

On a technical, scientific level, our muscles hold memory. It’s why, sometimes, people talk about improving posture and how standing up straight and walking into a room can influence mood, and there’s a lot of research into that. So, even though you’re dying your hair, losing weight, going to the gym, or [doing] whatever else to feel like you belong more, it doesn’t necessarily change the muscle memory that you carry. There are certain things and traumas over time that will always be there. You may still react to something the same way years later, depending on how much work you’ve done.

For me, [there was] trauma that came from the prosthetics and walking around the city. When I was walking around, I was so self-conscious. I felt people walk by me. Some would look, some would ignore me, but everything in my body was telling me to go in. All I wanted to do was go into myself, get through that street, and get to my destination as quickly as possible. So, as a result, I was walking a certain way, and I felt powerlessness, and I realized that was not going away for Edward.

Edward changes his physical appearance, but he’s never confronted any of the things he feels most in pain about on an internal level, so those things will continue. He might get better and go, “Oh, wait, people don’t look at me that way anymore, so I can actually be this guy.” But when he’s not conscious of it, he’s just falling right into who he was because there was no growth there for him.

It was also important for me to keep certain things about him that were recognizable from an audience standpoint that they’ll see later. I love what you said because I don’t think many people have picked up on Edward as Guy is Edward’s idea of what he should be like as an “able-bodied person.”

The other piece that helped me was speaking with this amazing woman, Elna Baker, who wrote a book about losing nearly 100 pounds. She lost all this weight, and suddenly, she was walking down the street and noticing men and women looking at her. She was finally the person she envisioned herself to be or felt she was. Over time, she started to miss her old self, to the point where she was missing people gawking at her and how heavy she used to be. I thought it was so interesting that this transformation for her didn’t ultimately pay off as she had hoped, that the inner peace, calm, and self-acceptance were not there. She talked about how there were things that she could do that she had never done before, but they weren’t fulfilling her in any way.

In a similar way, I think Guy ends up going down this path that he thinks will supply him with all these things that he’s watched other people have for years, but it’s actually made his life quite boring.

For me, one of the year’s best scenes is when Guy watches Oswald do karaoke and then watches the audience react to Oswald in a way that Guy doesn’t expect. I’d love to know what you were thinking at that moment because it was gorgeously acted, and you were communicating rank devastation through your eyes.

I appreciate that. I never really thought at that moment about how much that scene would ultimately mean. But I think it’s the first time Edward is confronted with this reality and denial of self in a very real way. A lot is happening there. I think he’s fascinated and curious. I think he’s looking for validation. I think he’s hoping that other people will judge Oswald the way he’s judging Oswald in that moment because judging Oswald helps keep his own lie alive.

At one point, he sees these two girls laughing and feels, “Oh, they’re laughing. Okay, good. I made the right choice. They’re laughing as they should because they would laugh at me.” But actually, you don’t even know if they’re laughing at Oswald. So I think it’s a lot of fear and fascination, and he can no longer run from what he’s been denying, which is, “Oh, this could’ve been me. I could’ve owned myself, and perhaps I would’ve been fine.” I think he’s dealing with that, and from that point on, it starts to grow until the end of the movie, when he murders the physical therapist. It keeps growing because of the desperation of trying to maintain the lie of, “No, no, no, I did the right thing,” and it continues to spiral out of control.

That scene is about somebody who’s in total ownership of themselves, which, by the way, I feel Adam is like in life, which is incredible. And then you have somebody who unfortunately realizes they’ve made the biggest mistake of their life.

I’m glad you brought up Adam because his performance is extraordinary, and I wish it were being recognized more this season. But you did thank Adam in your Golden Globe speech for “his trust.” How do you two work together to establish that trust, and how did it manifest on screen?

I think with anybody you’re about to go into the trenches with, we met before, and kind of sussed each other out a little bit, and I just felt, “This is going to be great. This is going to work out.” We were both on the same page about what we wanted here. With Adam and A Different Man, I really felt that he was going to be this lighthouse for me, in terms of trying to understand how to approach this and how I should, in a way, best represent him. I was really in service to him and Aaron.

There was a lot of conversation around how he grew up, his childhood, and his experiences, what he encounters daily online. When we go back again to what we said at the beginning about the loss of humanity, sensitivity, and empathy that’s transpiring online between people, how we attack other people anonymously. It’s like, where do we get that from? Maybe people in power are giving permission to do that, you know? So, the fact that Adam can go out there every day and outwit any of these people and that he’s had to do that for so much of his life is very inspiring and shows how brave he is.

I wanted to understand how one gets to that point. I knew that [Adam] was very different from Edward, but it was also about creating Edward’s past and background. Unlike Adam, who fortunately had a really strong support system with his mother and his family, all we know is that Edward’s mom had passed, and we don’t really know what else transpired. There are many cases that I found researching online of people with disfigurement or different kinds of disabilities who had been abandoned, orphaned, or never had that support system from their families. So, it was interesting, but I felt that whatever I was going to do would always have to be in step with Adam and, of course, Aaron.

One last question to wrap up: what do you want people to take away from these two films?

I still feel, and I was saying this on Sunday night, that there is discomfort around these subject matters that confront us on a level we’re afraid to go to. I think both films do that, and I hope people don’t turn the other way. I don’t believe it’s always ill-intentioned towards disability and disfigurement. I think sometimes people are curious, but they’re afraid of being curious, and they’d rather just look the other way and not confront anything. I’m saying this as someone who’s learned that from Adam. Curiosity is okay. It’s okay to be interested. That’s why I had a little kid come up to me when I was in the prosthetics and was very okay and engaging because that was pure curiosity. There was no judgment yet.

At the same time…there were times when Adam and I were trying to do press together, and we couldn’t… they’d rather only have me. There were things like that that are still not ill-intentioned, but they didn’t want to go there because they didn’t quite know how to deal with [the situation]. As a result, nothing happens.

With The Apprentice, obviously, there’s fatigue and a lot of emotions, and none of that is wrong, but we have to be conscious of that part that leads to fear and indifference. I’ll hear people go, “I’ll watch this after the election.” Well, the world might be very different by that point. It feels a little bit like kicking the can down the road and not confronting reality.

I think this is a unique situation because… we’re confronting something as it’s happening. We’re not waiting 5-10 years after we’ve digested everything. We can look back at the mistakes we made and [whether] that was the right call, and I think that’s what put people in the hot seat. But as I referred to the creative language, it’s about staying curious and open to keep us informed, human to human.

There’s a lot that both of these films are talking about: narcissism, empathy, the loss of self, and acceptance. You’re not necessarily going to get these things from Wikipedia, your email, a news channel, or somebody else telling you on TikTok. You’re going to get that from experiences with other people. When you’re having kids growing up, especially now, with phones and laptops that they’re basically chaining us to, human-to-human connection and empathy are something we have to keep protecting and nourishing. We can do that through movies, books, and art. Not AI algorithms that feed a certain kind of “selective free speech,” but things that reflect how complex [life] is so that we can have an experience. That’s valuable.

I was lucky enough to be in two complicated films that I think were confronting people in certain ways. We’ve been seeing that some people got it, and others aren’t ready for that yet, but I’d rather be on that side than the safe side.

[randomfoggytiger]

The Truth Is Out There: David Duchovny, Collaborator and Vancouver Captive

1995 David Duchovny was grimly resigned to five unexpected, grueling years in Vancouver. (Thankfully for philes-- and his pocketbook-- he stuck around and contributed heavily to the series, including the idea which connected Mulder's family to the Conspiracy.) He was also very chatty and very complainy; and, even then, tended to gravitate to lower-stakes projects that put little pressure on him (acting is, after all, something he wanted, even then, to remain "fun".)

Previous parts of Brian Lowry's Book 1 here, here, and here. Transcripts below will be fonted in italics.

BITS FROM THE BOOK

Before the [first] season began, Fox officials were clearly more effusive in praising "Brisco County" and its star, Bruce Campbell, than The X-Files. In that regard, when Grushow commented that he’d “eat my desk” if Campbell didn’t become a star, Duchovny’s competitive spirit was piqued, feeling like The X-Files was being dismissed and slighted. Carter remembers Duchovny returning from an event where Grushow made those comments and joking about serving him the condiments for that meal. The attitude, Duchovny says, was that Fox was touting the other show and treating their entry as an afterthought-- as if it were “and oh yeah, there’s this other little show called The X-Files.” 

The net effect, in fact, turned out to benefit the show on virtually every level-- creating, as Duchovny puts it, “a unique mythology for television.” The complex alien abduction/government conspiracy story that was concocted to explain Anderson’s brief hiatus actually solidified the Mulder-Scully bond, striking an extremely responsive chord with the show’s hard-core fans. As Duchovny points out, there were also parallels between Scully’s abduction and that of Mulder’s sister, giving their relationship even more emotional resonance. 

…One of those regularly contributing ideas [to the second season] is Duchovny, who’s become personally close with Carter (the two are occasional squash partners) and has shared story credit with him on certain episodes. 

The producer has no qualms about letting his star in on that process. “He’s got good ideas for the show,” notes Carter. “Why not use them?” As for Duchovny, he says that once it became apparent the show would be around for a while, he had an interest as an actor in making his character as interesting as possible to play. 

As for Duchovny, the actor had little enthusiasm about doing a television series at the time-- his feature career having taken a promising turn with "Kalifornia", which cast him opposite Brad Pitt. The X-Files turned out to be the only pilot script his manager decided to send him that year. “I read it, and I thought it was a really good story and that UFOs would get boring after three or four episodes,” Duchovny recalls. ‘I thought I could go to Vancouver for a month and get paid, and then go on and do my next movie.” 

“I love it!” Bowman proclaims as the scene ends, watching the shot through a monitor and lauding his star as “One-take Duchovny.” 

…Bowman has to deal with five actors (Anderson, Duchovny, and Gunmen Dean Haglund, Bruce Harwood, and Braidwood) in a relatively confined space, so the staging will be critical. After Bowman aligns them one way, Duchovny suggests an alternative in handling the shot, and various configurations are tried. As they begin rehearsing, everyone still seems a bit punchy, and the mood is light. Haglund keeps wanting to call a Nazi scientist “Kempler” instead of “Klemper”, and Duchovny has a hard time not laughing each time Braidwood (who comes up roughly to the actor’s chin) approaches him, with Frohike supposed to act relieved to see Mulder alive after the events that closed the second season. “Did you ever see the 'Star Trek; where Spock thought that Kirk died?” Duchovny tells him with his trademark deadpan delivery. ‘That’s what you want to be doing.” 

IN HIS OWN WORDS

…By virtue of starring in “The X-Files”, Duchovny also seems destine to have a shot at major feature-film stardom, but again, not via the precise route anyone assumed he’d follow. …Duchovny felt he was on his way and as a result had serious doubts about doing a television series. “It’s like a horse race,” he observes, enjoying a relaxed moment, clad in work shirt, boots, and jeans outside his trailer on “The X-Files” set in Vancouver. “You’ve got fifteen guys who are going to be ‘the next big thing,’ and three of those guys are going to finish.

“I was making a living,” he notes. “It seemed like I would get my shot at some point.”

Duchovny was willing to wait for his chance. He’d done some interesting features, and thanks to the vagaries of Hollywood, he knew a hit movie-- any hit movie-- would move him up to the next echelon of actors. “I always had an abiding belief that things would work out for me,” he says. “I didn’t know how. And then my manager, who was agreeing with me in that I didn’t want to do any television, sent me the script for ‘The X-Files’ because she thought it was a really good script. She read all the pilots, and that was the only one she sent me.” 

Duchovny remembers thinking he could do the pilot-- getting paid to spend a month or so in Vancouver-- and then be off to his next feature. In the midst of another 12- or 14-hour day, he can only shrug at the irony, adding with a sly grin, “It didn’t really work out that way.” 

…Prone to introspection as he is, however, Duchovny feels the weight of the expectations riding on him and wears the mantle of stardom uneasily, having found that sudden celebrity is not without its drawbacks on a personal level. 

…”Year one was just about survival-- am I physically going to survive? It’s what I imagine those triathletes feel: When you first start competing you just want to finish, then eventually you start wanting to get a good time. 

“There were many days the first year when I would just go home and think, ‘I can’t do it. I can’t go back to work anymore.’”

Although that situation didn’t ease much in terms of shooting requirements during the second season-- particularly with costar Gillian Anderson’s pregnancy compelling Duchovny to shoulder more responsibility for a time-- the actor found the show’s creative direction alone lightening the burden. “Last year I just think the work was so much better. That was kind of inspiring,” he says. 

Ever a tough critic, Duchovny felt there were some good episodes the first year and enjoyed doing something that was different from most primetime television shows. As for his contribution, he says he was “occasionally kind of happy with my work.” 

By contrast, in the second season, he believes, “we really became the best show on television,” saying he’s grateful that the series survived so its performers, writers and directors had the opportunity to mature together. The third season will be more of the same, he predicts, with trademark sarcasm, “before we slide back into mediocrity.” 

…Stardom does have some advantages, in that Duchovny has been able to add his stamp to the show creatively, providing story ideas and helping contribute to “The X-Files” mythology….

…Part of Duchovny’s goal has been to flesh out the character of Fox Mulder-- which, he points out, was understandably vague when the show began-- in order to make the part more enticing for him as a performer. “It’s definitely been exciting, just something added to my experience, in terms of being able to guide the destiny of the character,” he explains. “Because the character had no destiny. Like any TV show, you’re forced to eventually create a history for the character that it never had.” 

Once “The X-Files” had survived the initial Nielsen weeding-out process and he and Carter realized the show was going to be around for a while, Duchovny offers, “it became important to me as an actor to make that history as interesting as I could.” 

The second-season finale, entitled “Anasazi,” and revelations about Mulder’s family played out in the two opening episodes of the third season, offer such mythic highlights, exploring Mulder’s character and family history, down to his father’s role in alien experimentation. Those episodes also shed light on the abduction of Mulder’s sister, Samantha, which figured prominently in the character’s motivation….

Those episodes, he maintains, couple with earlier story arcs have “created a unique mythology for television in the character, and I’m really proud of that fact-- that I was conscious enough to say to Chris, ‘Look, I have some ideas, I want to be involved with the creation of this myth.’” 

Duchovny contends that Anderson’s pregnancy and brief absence unwittingly contributed to that emotional resonance. Having Mulder search for her echoed the loss he felt in losing his sister, while Scully’s abduction gave her an experience to draw upon-- all of which, in Duchovny’s eyes, provided “raw material to use in the future.” 

According to the actor, the depth of those episodes stands above “a kind of formula that we were drifting into the middle of last year” with stand-alone installments dealing with whatever monsters and/or paranormal phenomena the writers could dream up….

Now the show can go back and forth, delving into its mythology, then pulling back to do more standard and self-contained episodes. “The intensity’s too much, and it can get melodramatic,” Duchovny says regarding the need to break up the mythology segments, adding that the producers have achieved a “nice balance now” between the two. 

Seemingly as much of a perfectionist as Carter, Duchovny acknowledges that he occasionally bristles when he’s presented with a deluge of gobbledygook dialogue-- those sequences where Mulder launches into remarkably detailed explanations about some event or series of events from the past. “At first it was almost impossible-- it’s kind of a muscular thing,” he says. “You try and make it interesting from an acting point of view…. [But] sometimes it’s just like you memorize… and spit it out.” 

…Duchovny can be equally blunt in elaborating on his views regarding fame…. “Celebrity’s no fun,” he says flatly. 

“There’s really nothing nice about it. Celebrity is being known. It’s no fun to be known. I imagine it’s fun to be known for something good that you did, or for something noteworthy, but unfortunately the kind of celebrity television brings is monochromatic.”

…”I understand that it’s part of the territory,” he allows, “but sometimes it’s hard to be amused when you’re just trying to live your life and you don’t feel like people snickering or pointing. In this culture that we live in, everybody wants celebrity, everybody wants to be famous. If I’m going to be famous, I’d rather be famous ‘for’ something.” With a shrug of resignation, he adds, “I don’t think I have a choice at this point.” 

Duchovny’s comfort level with fame remains low. Asked the worst part about life under the microscope, he simply says, “It doesn’t leave you room to make mistakes, to do something stupid. Everything becomes kind of calculated in the worst way. You’ll have an impulse and you’ll go, ‘Can I do that? Is anybody watching me?’ It’s like being Catholic,” he quips. 

Not that Duchovny would trade in his ‘The X-Files’ experience. Far from it. “This is wonderful, and it affords me economic security” while hopefully creating the opportunity, he says, to do interesting feature-film work either after the series completes its run or during the hiatus period….

The travails of fame notwithstanding, things have certainly worked out, if not perfectly…. After all, how many people get to bring their dog to work with them? Duchovny’s pet, Blue, a well-behaved mutt with some border collie in her, is almost constantly at his side and less apt to complain than her master. “She gets excited to go in the car every morning-- much more excited than I do,” Duchovny says. “This is like her pack.” 

…Born August 7, Duchovny was so quiet growing up in Manhattan that his brother Danny, who is four years his senior, used to enjoy telling his friends David was “retarded….”

Duchovny admits to being shy as a youth, seldom dating during high school. His parents divorced when he was 11, and Duchovny has said in interviews those events may have contributed to both his drive to succeed academically and his personality, which at times can be construed as a bit standoffish…. 

In 1987, just short of gaining his Ph.D. at Yale in English (his dissertation topic was “Magic and Technology in Contemporary Poetry and Prose”), Duchovny began to truly pursue acting….

“It was never really a decision I made,” Duchovny says in hindsight. “I was doing both of them at once”-- teaching while working on his Ph.D. and acting-- “and I guess I just realized that I didn’t want to be a professor.” 

According to Duchovny, “Red Shoe Diaries” proved pivotal, allowing him to exhibit a different side of what he could do. In addition, he began to feel more comfortable as an actor, describing “The Rapture” as “a difficult experience” and “Twin Peaks” as an oddity. After appearing in low-budget films that put little pressure on him, “Red Shoe Diaries” also offered him his first leading role. “To see that I could do that was very important,” he suggests. 

In his customary manner, Duchovny would probably be the first to say the schedule associated with producing “The X-Files” is grueling and at times frustrating, but his faith in and commitment to the series’s quality pushes him along, much as he might like to grumble about the tongue-twisting dialogue and exhausting pace. As he puts it, in characteristically understated fashion, “It’s hard work to make a bad show, too.”

TRIVIA

[Duchovny meeting his girlfriend]: He was shopping for a suit (his first in many years), and asked Perrey Reeves, who had come in to shop for lingerie, which suit he should choose-- the gray one or the blue one? She told him to buy both. 

“Ice��: The Arctic-bound entry featuring a gruesome space-worm, which Duchovny has dubbed “the first really rocking episode.” David Duchovny’s own border collie, Blue, is the daughter of the dog featured in this episode. 

“The Jersey Devil”: The X-Files is filmed in Vancouver, so Mulder was not really in Atlantic City casinos. Instead, Duchovny was filmed in front of a blue-screen and stock casino footage was matted in later-- considerably cheaper than a location shoot in New Jersey would have cost. 

“Fire”: The famous “black silk boxer shorts” scene was originally a “Jockey underwear” scene….

“Genderbender”: During filming of the crime scene at the beginning of Act One, Mitch Kosterman (Det. Horton) flubbed his lines and said “chum chippy” instead of “some chippy.” For the rest of the shoot, David Duchovny joshed him about that line.  

“Miracle Man”: In an interview David Duchovny once said that he would consider Mulder Jewish until told otherwise.

“Darkness Falls”: Shooting in the forest near Vancouver, production was delayed frequently and made more difficult by heavy rains. “It was miserable,” Carter recalls, noting that the actors were soaking wet much of the time…. One saving grace was the casting of Jason Beghe…. A childhood friend of David Duchovny’s, Beghe had prodded him to pursue acting…. Having him on hand (at Duchovny’s suggestion) helped lighten the mood around the set, making the shoot something of a reunion and thus less of an ordeal for the cast. 

“One Breath”: The episode also lightly pokes fun at the show’s fans on the Internet, with one of the Lone Gunmen telling Mulder he should join them Friday in “hopping on the Internet to nitpick the scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2.” 

“Firewalker”: Gordon saw Trepkos’s obsession and the toll it exacted upon him in terms of losing someone he loved as a means of exploring the darker side of Mulder’s commitment to his search. “The natural endpoint of this quest for the truth is madness,” he notes, suggesting that Mulder’s decision to let Trepkos go at the end represents the bond in that respect between Mulder and Trepkos-- their shared ‘Heart of Darkness’. 

“Paper Clip”: …[Carter] also points to the mythic elements in Mulder being told that he has in a sense become his father-- one reason Duchovny has likened the narrative course of these three episodes to another trilogy, “Star Wars”, with a touch of “Sophie’s Choice”, perhaps, thrown in for good measure. 

BONUS

An excerpt from Brian Lowry’s second book “Trust No One: The Official Third Season Guide to The X-Files": 

Never one to settle for success, Duchovny-- who continues to play an active role in the series’s creative direction, working in concert with Carter and co-executive producer Howard Gordon on certain episodes-- is pleased with the third season but looks forward to expanding the show’s emotional range even further. Referring to one of the early second-season episodes, he notes, “I think when we did ‘Duane Barry’ the show became a really great show, and we maintained that level for a while, but we haven’t gone beyond it. I’m waiting to go beyond it. We won’t go beyond it technically, but we will go beyond it in terms of character, introducing a personal life of some kind. I think it’s inevitable. You have to do it.”

When it’s pointed out that the show’s most fervent loyalists, as well as Carter himself, have been especially vocal about not wanting to see Mulder and Scully romantically involved with anyone but each other, Duchovny simply shrugs and says the nuances he refers to don’t necessarily have to involved ‘romance’. “Give Mulder a friend. Give him a squash partner,” he suggests. “It’s got to happen. I really don’t care what anybody thinks we should or shouldn’t do.” Anderson remains more sanguine regarding such matters, though she indicates some interest as well in stretching the characters while understanding that such an evolution must occur within the show’s parameters. 

CONCLUSION

It's darkly comedic that Mr. Duchovny signed onto a (wildly successful) show thinking it would fail, only to be effectively held hostage for ten months out of twelve, 12- to 14-hours a day in a place that was completely opposite to the Cali weather he wished to sun bake in.

Also: props to him for contributing to the "domestication" of the show (more on that in future parts.) It's mind boggling just how much he contributed to The X-Files (and how much effort he put into later seasons together, despite his absence-- post here.)

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[nameless-jamie]

AAAAA I ABSOLUTELY LOVED NICE GUY! I'M OBSESSED WITH JEALOUS JAMIE!!! Can you write one where PA's old client (or some new footballer whatever you prefer) tries to steal her and he and Jamie have it out on the pitch during a match? I'd love if the team teased him after since "he's not a jealous type" and PA tells him she wouldn't leave him to calm him? Thanksssss!

Red Card Part 2

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

TW: cursing, suggestive scenes, angry Jamie

A/N: Hi, I'm so glad you liked A Nice Guy. You're idea fits so well with a ff I posted yesterday called Red Cards, about an angry Y/N, so I basically was obsessed with the idea of making this part two (They both finally realize they are in love with each other) It doesn't really fit with the OG Ted Lasso timeline but idc. I wrote this all through the night (in my timezone lol) hope you like it!!!!

Y/N had worked with a few big names before Jamie Tartt.

She’d been in this business long enough to handle all kinds of footballers—prima donnas, workaholics, egomaniacs. Some had been a nightmare to deal with. Some had been decent, if a little demanding. And then there was Jamie, who was all of the above and yet still her favorite.

He could be a pain in the ass, sure—stubborn, dramatic, ridiculously high-maintenance—but he was also loyal, hilarious in the most unintentional ways, and, despite all his posturing, genuinely cared about the people close to him.

So yeah, she’d had other clients before him. But there was no one like Jamie.

And she sure as hell wasn’t planning on working for anyone else ever again.

Apparently, Declan Rice, a former client of hers hadn’t gotten that memo.

They’d worked together briefly during his last season at West Ham, before he transferred to Arsenal. He’d been an alright client—organized, professional, a little too flirty at times but never crossed the line. It had been strictly business.

She hadn’t thought much about him since.

Until now.

She spotted him during warm-ups at Arsenal’s home stadium, the Emirates, standing near the center circle with his teammates, rolling his shoulders and stretching before the match. He looked the same as he had when she’d worked for him—tall, confident, the picture of professionalism with his neatly styled hair and focused expression. But when his eyes landed on her, something sharp flickered in them, and he abandoned his warm-up, striding over toward the Richmond dugout where she stood with Ted, Roy, and Beard.

Jamie was further down the touchline, stretching with the rest of the Richmond squad, blissfully unaware.

Declan stopped beside her, giving her a slow once-over, an easy smirk curling his lips. “Hi Y/N, you still working for Tartt, then?”

Y/N crossed her arms, instantly on guard. “That a problem, Declan?”

He hummed. “Not a problem. Just surprised.” He gestured toward the Richmond crest on her jacket. “Thought someone like you would’ve moved on to bigger things by now.”

Ted let out a low whistle, rocking back on his heels. “Oof. Boy’s got a death wish.”

Beard just grunted while Roy muttered something profane under his breath that sounded like 'Fucking idiot'.

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Declan didn’t seem fazed by her sharp tone. If anything, his smirk deepened. “Fair enough. But if you ever do wanna make a change and maybe work for a good player…” He winked. “You know where to find me.”

That was when Jamie’s head snapped up.

He hadn’t been paying much attention before, too focused on his own pre-game rituals, but the moment Declan winked, Jamie’s entire body went rigid. His gaze flickered between them, jaw tightening, his usually relaxed expression darkening into something unreadable.

Roy smirked. “Havin’ fun over there, Tartt?”

Jamie scowled. “Piss off, Roy.”

Ted just chuckled a little uneasy.

Jamie shot Declan a glare but said nothing, turning abruptly and jogging onto the pitch.

Y/N sighed, rubbing her temples. “This is gonna be a long match.”

From the very first whistle, Jamie was not himself.

Jamie tried to be professional.

He really, really did.

Normally, he played with fluid confidence, always a step ahead, making quick, clever passes and effortlessly weaving through defenders. But tonight? He was aggressive.

Every movement was sharp, every tackle a fraction too hard, every sprint laced with frustration. And the reason why was obvious.

Declan was everywhere.

Shoving him during corners. Smirking when he won possession. Blocking his runs just enough to be irritating but not enough to get penalized. And worst of all—glancing toward the sidelines where Y/N stood every chance he fucking got, as if reminding Jamie exactly who had his attention before the game started.

Jamie gritted his teeth, jaw aching from how hard he was clenching it. Fine. If Declan wanted to play dirty, Jamie wouldn’t hold back.

He slammed into him harder than necessary while fighting for the ball, sending Declan stumbling.

The ref blew his whistle immediately.

“Tartt, easy!” the ref warned.

Jamie didn’t respond. He just glared at Declan, stepping in close enough that their shoulders brushed.

Declan smirked, voice low. “Touchy, mate.”

Jamie glared at Declan. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

Declan smirked. “Didn’t know you owned her, mate.”

Jamie shoved him.

The ref immediately pulled out a yellow card.

Roy was already shouting from the sidelines. “Fucking hell, Jamie!”

Ted sighed. “Yeah, saw that one coming.”

Y/N closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Jamie knew he had to keep his cool. One more reckless move, and he’d be off. But then—Declan took it too far.

It happened in the 78th minute.

Richmond was down 2-1. They had a free kick just outside the box, a perfect opportunity to equalize. Jamie stepped up to take it, rolling his shoulders, focusing. He needed to block everything else out.

“Dunno what she sees in you, mate. Could give her a better offer, yeah?" Declan tried to rile Jamie up.

Jamie was good at ignoring his antics... at first.

And then—just as he was about to position himself—Declan leaned in, voice just loud enough for Jamie to hear:

"You know, she was the best assistant I ever had. Kept me real satisfied.”

Jamie’s blood froze.

Declan smirked. “Might have to steal her back. Think I’d enjoy breaking her in all over again.”

Jamie snapped.

There was no thought. No hesitation. Just pure, burning rage.

He swung his leg—not at the ball, but at Declan’s ankle.

Declan went crashing down, clutching his leg, rolling like he’d been shot.

The whistle shrieked.

The ref stormed over, fury in his eyes.

“TARTT—OFF!”

The red card flashed in the air.

The Richmond fans groaned in unison.

Jamie barely registered it, still seeing red. His breathing was ragged, chest heaving, his entire body wound so tight it felt like he might explode.

Declan, still on the ground, looked up at him with a satisfied smirk, while another Arsenal player pushed Jamie towards the exit saying “Real mature, mate.”.

Jamie didn’t even care, he didn’t even argue. Just shot Declan a venomous glare as he stomped off.

The moment Jamie reached the sidelines, Roy exploded.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!”

Ted sighed. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

Beard just shook his head.

Y/N stood there, arms crossed. “Seriously, Jamie?”

Jamie exhaled sharply. “He was chatin’ shit.”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “And that was worth getting sent off for?”

Jamie scowled. “Maybe.”

Her expression softened slightly. “What did he even say?”

Jamie hesitated. His fingers twitched at his sides. “Nothin’.”

She knew that wasn’t true. But she also knew Jamie, knew that whatever Declan had said had gotten under his skin badly.

Y/N exhaled. “We were losing. We needed you.”

Jamie hesitated. “Yeah, but—”

“No buts,” she shot back. “You let him get in your head.”

Jamie scowled. “Did not.”

Y/N just looked at him.

Later, when the match was over and the team was back in the locker room, the teasing began.

Richmond still managed to equalize in the final minutes, saving the match.

But Jamie’s red card? That was all the team wanted to talk about.

“Not jealous, huh Jamie?” Sam grinned.

“Proper alpha male moment,” Isaac added.

Colin smirked. “Never seen you so territorial, mate.”

Jamie groaned. “Piss off.”

Ted just patted his shoulder. “Jealousy’s a hell of a drug, son.”

Jamie grumbled under his breath before heading toward the physio room, where Y/N was waiting.

She turned when he entered, arms crossed. “You know you’re an idiot, right?”

Jamie sighed, rubbing his face. “Yeah, yeah.”

Y/N softened. “Why’d you let him get to you?”

Jamie hesitated. “…Dunno.”

She stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm. “Jamie.”

He exhaled. “Just—don’t like the idea of someone takin’ you away, yeah?”

Y/N blinked.

Then—softly, with a teasing smile she said. “You do realize I’m not a football transfer, right?”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

She smirked. “So you don’t own me?”

Jamie groaned. “Fucking hell.”

Y/N laughed. “Fuck, you really are an idiot.”

Jamie leaned in, his lips brushing her ear. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot boss, so watch out.”

She flushed. “Shut up.”

He smirked. “Make me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You wish... Still not jealous, though?”

Jamie groaned again, dragging a hand down his face. “Well, now I hate you.”

She grinned. “No, you don’t.”

Jamie just pulled her closer into a tight hug.

Maybe he was the jealous type.

And maybe—just maybe—he didn’t mind, because he loves her...

[thewistlingbadger]

The Unsolved Mystery of Silco's left Eye (an analysis on shimmer and eyes)

Silco, the main antagonist in Arcane, has two different color eyes. One is a normal looking teal eye and the other is a black eye with a orange, muddy iris. When we only had season one, it was assumed his left eye looked the way it did due to the injury he obtained when he was attacked by Vander and the river toxins mixed with his bodily fluids.

But in season two we got to see an alternate reality! Silco and in that AU, Silco's left eye is completely different. Instead of being black and orange it's just kinda gray and normal looking. Very similar to the way blindness is portrayed in animation. This is interesting because Silco isn't blind in the AU or in the actual reality. His non normal eye looks around and matches his normal eye's movement, they coordinate together. Silco also never makes any comment about lacking any sort of vision, so it seems that he has retained at least most of his vision despite his major injury. Speaking of which, even Silco's injury itself is different in the AU. It's smaller and less dark than it is in reality.

This made people begin to ask why Silco's eye was different even though Silco obtained the same injury in both universes. Some suggested that the reason was shimmer, but I brushed that aside because I didn't really see how or why that would be. However, now that I think about it months after the fact, there actually IS a place we've seen a similar thing with shimmer and eyes.

Now admittedly this is VERY similar but this isn't exact to what Silco has. This is Deckard after consuming only one vial of shimmer. Even though his sclera is black like Silco's, which would suggest that shimmer is responsible for Silco's black sclera, notice how Deckard's iris is still a clear shape. It isn't like Silco's, which isn't perfectly circular. Deckard has also maintained his natural eye color, blue, once he takes Shimmer. This did not occur with Silco, Silco's left iris ended up changing a completely different color. The most compelling difference, however, is that Deckard's eyes actually REVERT back to their original color once the effects of Shimmer have worn off. This is interesting because once again, Silco is not the same way, his left eye is permanently black and orange.

So if shimmer did cause Silco's eye to change so drastically, then why was this the case when we know for others it didn't work that way? If shimmer had no effect on Silco's eye then why was he taking a shot of shimmer on the daily just for his eye? What was the purpose of it? Was it pain? Does this mean the au Silco is in pain everyday because he lacks shimmer as a medical resource? There are only two other people who have maintained permanent body augmentations as the result of shimmer, and one of them doesn't count because he was messing with other shit so it's difficult to determine whether it was actually shimmer's fault or not.

Jinx receives extensive shimmer treatments after she blows up a bomb way too close to herself. She was on the brink of death and shimmer was the only way to save her. This is dissimilar to Silco's situation, because even though he suffered a massive injury, he still had the ability to walk and commit other functions. Jinx was literally unconscious and about to die. We don't know how much shimmer was used on her, but then again we don't know how much shimmer was used on Silco back in the day, if it was ever used on him at all. Additionally, we know that whatever amount it was, it was a SHIT TON. We literally see the injections and they are brutal.

Her case with shimmer is truly a phenomenon because not only is she the first person to ever receive permanent benefits of shimmer that are positive (increased speed) without the need of consuming more shimmer, but her irises also permanently change from blue to pink.

Now this is interesting because remember, we saw Deckard's sclera's temporary change while his irises stayed the same. We saw Vander's own irises and scleras be unaffected by shimmer when he took the same amount of Shimmer Deckard did but then as he was dying we saw his irises become pink. We say Vi and Viktor's and Sevika's irises flash purple after being injected with Shimmer but only for a moment, nothing really long term. Not even the people who were addicted to shimmer are were using it constantly over the course of several years, like Huck, received physical changes to the eyes. Jinx's irises become pink forever, she gets new speed ability, and it seems that shimmer is just a fluid her body is producing now because she is now crying tears of shimmer.

So by this alone it seems that shimmer just...affects everyone a different way? But then we have to remember that there are potentially different versions of shimmer. The shimmer we see at the start of the show might not be the same shimmer that we are at the end of the show. Especially since in act one shimmer is framed as a prototype and in act two it's framed as a popular drug sold to the masses. ESPECIALLY since we know shimmer is Singed's invention, and he seems to have been tinkering with it over the years. Shimmer's most noticeable side effects are massive muscle growth at an accelerated rate, joint disfiguration, and massive height growth at an accelerated rate. Yet Viktor and Jinx, two people that received shimmer from Singed, don't receive these side effects. This could be implying that Singed has his own version of shimmer that isn't the shimmer being produced on a wide scale by Silco.

TDLR The nature of Silco's eye will always be a mystery because shimmer is just too inconsistent. The various ways it affects others and the possibility of multiple variations of the drug existing make it too hard to pinpoint if shimmer is the reason why Silco's eye is like that. I honestly don't understand why his eye is different in the AU and what they were trying to imply.

[francisofthespook]

A/N: if you say my little 3am rant, no you didnt. But heres a little one shot thing i wrote last night when i couldnt sleep. I literally wrote this on my phone in my tumblr drafts at 5am and barely edited it so just bear with me okay... This so so stupidly self indulgent idk if this will even interest anyone, but writing it made me feel a little better :'') Would this count as hurt/comfort ? Idk

AUDaryl Dixon x F!Reader

Word count: 1928

Warnings: None fr, just smoking

Setting: AU where walkers never happened and you are Daryl's Neighbor (This isnt the one I had talked about in the tag game). I imagine this with like season 5 ish Daryl.

I made the border :)

“What are ya doin’?”

Daryl walked up to the waist-high chain link fence that separated your yards, leaning on it. You sighed heavily, avoiding his eyes as you ashed your cigarette on the ground.

“What’s it look like.”

You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but the weight of everything that had been plaguing you the past week didn’t leave you any stamina for pleasantries.

“Woah, okay.”

He held up his hands defensively with a small laugh. Neither of you spoke. He was waiting for you to continue, you were waiting for him to leave.

Daryl stared off in the distance at some dead tree in the back corner of your yard. He knew you, knew you would say something eventually. But you didn’t. He was starting to get a little concerned. In all the years he had been your neighbor, your friend, he had never seen you this quiet.

Usually you loved talking shit with him. Telling him about every little inconvenience that happened that day while you smoked your respective cigarettes. Him, drinking in every little thing that you said, and you, talking endlessly for hours until your boyfriend came home and Daryl would quickly hop the fence and retreat into his house.

“(Y/N), what’s goin’ on?”

He said in a more serious tone, trying to mask the concern that was growing within him. His grip slightly tightened on the fence and the wires dug into his palms as they began to sweat, the Georgia sun beating down hard on his exposed shoulders. “Ya know ya can tell me anythin’.”

“Leave me alone.”

You still wouldn’t face him. He could see your body tensing every time you were reminded of his presence. He could tell you were trying to hold it together, purposely hiding as much of yourself as possible from him. It only made his anxiety grow.

Daryl cared about you more than he’d like to admit. When you and your boyfriend first moved into the shitty house next to his even shittier one, he was pissed, already mourning the privacy his tucked away home gave him. But he was wrong.

It couldn’t have been more the opposite. Your boyfriend was gone nearly all the time, and you were taking classes at the local community college so it stayed pretty quiet. But every evening, after you came home, you would sit on your little patio and smoke for a while until your boyfriend came home, (usually at an unreasonable hour, drunk, and stumbling straight to bed).

Over time, yours and Daryl’s ‘smoke breaks’ started to line up. And it totally didn’t have anything to do with Daryl thinking you were pretty and wanting to eye you as he had his evening cigarette.

It started with just you and him on your respective patios, smoking and not acknowledging the other's presence. But one day, you spoke up. You had asked him for a light, and he wordlessly sauntered over to the fence and held the flame to you as you leaned over to light your cigarette. From then, it escalated.

It was almost routine now, that Daryl would be outside already having a smoke when you got home and finally made your way out. Once he saw you, he would walk over and hop the short fence, and you two would sit together while he listened to you talk about your day. He rarely spoke about his own, he much preferred your dramatizations of shitty encounters with your professors, or run-ins with ex-friends. He secretly looked forward to it every day.

But now you were quiet, and that scared him. Quiet was not a word he would use to describe you.

“Seriously (Y/N), what’s wro-“

“Daryl, fuck off!”

You finally turned to face him, and he almost wished you hadn’t. Black streaks ran down your face from the mascara that had run, dried, and then run again. Your eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, your lips slightly swollen from crying so hard.

The sight of you caused an ache in his heart that hurt so deep, that he had to stop himself from instinctively placing his hand on his chest to check that a hole hadn’t been drilled through it. Without hesitation, he hopped the fence and rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you as you covered your face with your hands.

Smoke curled upwards from the still-lit cigarette between your fingers, and a small tuft of ash fell onto your jeans. He wanted to reach out and touch you, place a hand on your knee, and rub small, soothing circles with his thumb, but he knew he shouldn’t. There was an unspoken line between you two that he never dared cross, no matter how badly he yearned to. But for the first time, he seriously considered it.

“Please, jus’ talk to me.”

He pleaded, his brows furrowed with worry as he looked up at your still hidden face. His hand flinched, he wanted nothing more than to pull you into a tight hug and tell you everything would be okay. He would burn down the whole world for you if he thought it’d make you feel better.

“It’s stupid.”

You said, your hands muffling the words to where he almost couldn’t make out what you were saying.

“It obviously ain’t that stupid if it’s upset ya this badly.”

He spoke in the most gentle voice he could muster.

You slowly brought your hands down, dropping the cigarette onto the concrete and putting it out with your shoe. You still didn’t lift your head, still couldn’t bear to make eye contact with him. You were ashamed of your state, wondering why you even came out here in the first place, knowing he would be out here too.

“Please, yer freakin’ me out”

His voice slightly cracked, and it made your already broken heart crack even more. Daryl was your best friend, kinda your only friend. But you didn’t feel like talking. The hurt you felt encapsulated your entire soul, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to put into words the pain you felt right now, didn’t even want to try.

Slowly, cautiously, you tilted your head up, making eye contact with him for the first time today. The worry that painted his face made you ache. You felt like you didn’t deserve his worry, that he didn’t deserve to have his emotions negatively altered by you. You already felt like such a burden to everyone around you, Daryl was the last person you’d ever want to add to that list. He deserved to be happy, not on his knees in a dither about you.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” You mumbled.

Daryl knew that whatever it was that had caused you this much turmoil must have been bad. And as much as he wanted you to divulge every little detail so that he knew who or what to take it up with, he respected your boundaries and nodded.

“Tha’s ok. But please, jus’ let me be here fer ya.”

You stared into his deep blue eyes, your own glassing up again, and nodded.

“Okay.”

He gently patted your knee twice, a safe contact, before standing up and dragging a chair close to yours. Pulling his pack from his chest pocket, he brought a cigarette to his mouth and motioned for you to pass him the lighter.

You flicked the metal wheel and held the flame over to him, cupping it so that it wouldn’t go out. He took a deep breath in as the end of the stick cherried, and leaned back in his chair.

“Went to the shop today to get those brake pads I ordered, they were s’possed to be ready today. I get in there and the damn fool at the counter told me they’d been back ordered fer another month!”

You looked over, slightly surprised to hear Daryl talking as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t just seen you at your lowest state. He stared off at the tree line as he continued.

“Then, when I’m on my way home, I get pulled over fer not ‘stoppin’ all the way’ at a stop sign”

His smoke brushed past you as he raised his hand to make air quotes. You realized, that he was trying to distract you by sharing details about his day. You could feel the warmth in your heart ever so slightly starting to fuse just the tiniest cracks.

You held your hand up to cover your mouth as you bit back the smallest laugh.

He grunted, “An’ then I get home and see that Dog took a big ol’ shit on the couch.”

He rolled his eyes and laughed. As much as he normally disliked talking about himself, he would do it until the sun burnt out just to see the small smile that was starting to form on your face.

He went on for a little while, talking about everything from his favorite shirt ripping last week, to the time he and Merle supposedly saw a ‘chupacabra’.

By the time you heard the car pull into the driveway, you had almost forgotten about your own shitty day. Almost.

Daryl took the sound of your garage opening as his cue to head home. He stood up and stretched a little before turning to start walking back.

“Daryl-“

You called out before he reached the fence. He turned his head to look over at you.

“Thank you.”

He gave you a smile smile and a nod before saying, “Anytime. Hate seein’ ya so upset.”

The sun had long set, and you hoped that your dim porch light was dull enough to conceal the blush on your cheeks.

“See you tomorrow?”

You asked, a small part of you worried that he wouldn’t want to hang out with you anymore after seeing how pathetic you were today.

“‘Course”

He gave you one last smile before grabbing the fence and hoisting himself over it. You stood up as you heard the garage door open and close as your boyfriend made his way through the house.

Later that night, as you lay in bed, you thought about what it would be like if Daryl were lying next to you instead of this cold man who barely even spoke to you anymore. You thought about what it would feel like to be held again as you fell asleep, something long disregarded with your current partner.

You felt a small ache for a version of yourself that was living next door with Daryl. Cooking breakfast for him while wearing only his shirt, curling up on the couch with him in the evenings as you watched some dumb rom-com, riding on the back of his bike as he swerved through Atlanta streets late at night.

You were jealous of that version of you, the one that said ‘fuck it’ to everything shitty in her life and exchanging it for a better one, with him.

But you weren’t that girl. You weren’t strong enough to do what it takes to be her yet. But the hope that maybe one day, you could be, was what finally helped you drift off to sleep that night. And maybe if you had known that just a few yards away, Daryl was dreaming about the same thing, it would have given you the confidence you needed to become that girl.

But for tonight, you laid an arms length away from a man you barely recognized anymore and hoped that tomorrow would be better.

lmk what yall think, love you guys <3333

[snowydesertoasis]

Okay I think I have enough of this WIP written to post a sneek peak and see what everyone thinks.

This came from a tik tok ABO prompt vids that keep popping up 🙈🙈🙈

The prompt was what if an Alpha can only ever knot their true mate.

I’ve been watching old races (i wasnt really into f1 between 2018-2022 with my fav drivers Fernando and Jensen retiring and I didn’t have a connection with other drivers at the time) while I train for a 1/2 marathon. It got me thinking and this child was born.

WIP is untitled for now ( but the doc is saved as Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. )

Pairing: Charles / Max , side Lando/ Carlos , side Oscar/Arthur/Ollie (my fav throple)

Also

Max/ Lance , Max/Lando , Max/ Nicolas Letifi , Max/ Nyck de Vries

(The omegas Max fucks to figure out his issues 🙈🙈🙈🙈 )

Lestappen is end game!

Rated: E (Max fucks alot)

Summary: After newly presenting as an alpha, at 16, Max finds himself alone with Charles after a karting race, where hormones take over, and they have sex.

10 years later, Max has a secret—he hasn’t been able to knot inside another omega since that night with Charles. When Lando Norris uncovers the truth, he makes it his mission to help Max sleep with Charles again, determined to find out if there’s something deeper at play.

Context for below: It’s post season 2023. Lando and Max are conversing over lestappen moments that happened in Vegas and Abu Dahbi.

Let me know what y’all think!

“But it shows that everyone’s else is catching on how much closer you two have become lately,” Lando observed, pausing. “And that waist grab at the end…” He covered his mouth in excitement. “So possessive, Verstappen—no one’s going to take him away.”

"Shut the fuck up!" Max snapped at the omega, his blue eyes narrowing into a fierce glare.

Max could hardly believe what he was hearing. As he reflected on the past year, he began to wonder if perhaps Charles had indeed been seeking him out to talk racing—and maybe, just maybe, there was more to it.

Over the winter break, despite his busy schedule as world champion, Max found himself casually mentioning Charles in interviews—a quiet, secret way of showing that he never stopped paying attention.

[luc1ferian]

SPEECH TUMBLR IS A THING

how many years have you been in s+d? This is only my second year on the speech team lol, unless you count the month I was on the forensics team in 7th grade

what catagories are you doing this year and what are the topics (for speech)? SO FAR I'm doing humorous interpretation, BUT I'm writing a Creative Expression speech for midseason... Humour is called How to Be Cool, an essay by Logan Whitehurst about this guy who's giving you tips on how to be cool and rizzes up some barista My Creative Speech is Four Aces, inspired by and featuring the song of the same name by Dustin Townsend where a gambler from Louisiana meets a saloon girl, befriends her, and then she gets shot by the gambler's poker opponent, i get to sing lol

if you could pick 1 category to do for nationals, which would it be+why? Uhh would have to be Creative I think I've wanted to be a Creative since I was 12 lol

whats a category you haven't done but have always wanted to try+why? Creative but I'm planning on joining this year, otherwise maybe I'd try out poetry or discussion? I'm also planning to try out debate next year...

can you tell a rank/ballot horror story you had? Wouldn't call this a horror story, but at our first meet of this season, my 3rd round judge mixed around me and another speaker's critiques and I don't know whether they mixed up our ranking too or not and i feel guilty because they got a 5 :(

what are some speech and debate related fun facts about you? 1) All of my speeches so far have been based on my music taste! I tried doing Then What, that one rant thing by Neil Cicierega but it kind of sucked. Then I switched to doing the first episode of Camp Here and There, which will wood wrote music for. This year, I'm doing How to be Cool by Logan Whitehurst and my WIP Creative speech is based on a fish in a birdcage song lol 2) That one time there was this kid on another school's Discussion team, and my Disco friend hated him so much because he kept talking over people and getting 1's. After we went to the cocky disco kid's own meet, not only did my friend beat him to finals, but also we found out that the kid was kicked off his *own team* because he was such an asshole and it was really funny 3) I'm the wielder of The Piss Bottle. no context

ABSOLUTELY tagging @halcyon-skiess if you want to check this out hehe...

speech + debate tag game !

how many years have you been in s+d? this is my fourth year on the team (since I was accepted as a novice as an 8th grader) and also my first year as captain !

what catagories are you doing this year and what are the topics (for speech)? poi: sexualization of girlhood, drama: a mother of a criminal dealing with the guilt of her sons actions and the press blaming her, and then i'm hoping to put up a duo around February or so and I will be competing in impromptu as my third category until then 🤘

if you could pick 1 category to do for nationals, wich would it be+why? POI POI POI 10000% poi. ive done duo at nationals for the past two years and as fun as that was my duo partner is gone now and i gained a SUPER strong passion for poi and i would concider it my main category for sure ❤️

whats a catagory you haven't done but have always wanted to try+why? I've competed in 8 different speech events everything from duet to oratory but ive never fried anything in debate, i think i would be good at congress probably

can you tell a rank/ballot horror story you had?

oh lord. okay in harvard quarterfinals for poi last year 2 of the judges had ranked me as going into semifinals (a 2 and a 3) AND THEN THE OTHER JUDGE GAVE ME A 6. IF SHE HAD GIVEN ME A 5 I WOULD HAVE BROKEN INTO SEMIS. she litterally ranked it opposite of the other judges almost exactly. ....and then i found out that the judge who bombed me got hit by a car a month later LOL

what are some speech and debate related fun facts about you?

i have marshmallows before every round I go into!

my playlist is so embarrassing everything from anime intros to 2020 music to musicals to ICP but i find that embarrassing music gets me locked in

ive only ever had red or pink suits! red, pink, magenta, and then shimmery red :)

tagging @beelikesbirds @thoughts-of-a-silly-goose @chickencentaur @theronanlynchshow @reesemon.@madame-marauder (added more!)

[brionysea]

here's another example of mike breaking the pattern by being the first one to do it

bonus foreshadowing:

[sticcmann]

Silco bagged such a baddie I fucking love singed he is so beautiful

[helielune]

zipper man //sketch

[stan-joe]

hey link click fans just to make your day worse I'm pretty sure the entire last few episodes happened on lu guang's birthday

[inexpressiblybeautiful]

Hotel Portofino be like: Bury your gays and also bury your child.

[murraywalker]

I've just finished Life on Mars and I have feelings.