#then again i should probably save my energy for the other task i have today
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Everyone be proud of me, I did my stretches today.
I really need to get back to doing them regularly. I took a ten minute lazy walk around my apartment to warm up, then unrolled my comically padded yoga mat and did a small basic stretch routine.
#not bad considering im on my period#warming up makes a difference i feel refreshed#i used the walk as an opportunity to peel labels off some recycling#it was a good distraction#i need to get back to using my recumbent bike too#maybe i'll do a quick 2 minute ride after i smoke this bowl#then again i should probably save my energy for the other task i have today#disabled#chronically ill#chronic pain#autistic
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
25/100.
I am sooo tired today. Anyone else? 🙋♀️ One thing I am noticing about myself is that my energy comes in ebbs and flows. Or maybe it's fits and spurts? 🤔 I can have a really energized, productive couple of days, then I crash. And I'm always trying to fight this/feel guilty about it. Maybe it's time to allow myself to go with my own flow instead of fighting against it all the time.
So today is a crash day. Feeling burnt out. I've wasted a lot of time today, playing games on my phone on the couch. But sort of feeling bored with doing nothing as well. So I thought I might as well update Tumblr on my venture into bullet journaling.
It's only been a few days but going well so far. I've been writing absolutely every little task, and sub-task, that pops into my head. Has really helped me keep on track. I'm finding that I feel a little more relaxed when I jot something down because I know that as long as I keep referring to my list, I won't forget anything I was going to do. It could be something as simple as not forgetting that there are wet clothes in the wash that need to be put in the dryer. Or that I need to remember to pick up some milk on my way back from the post office. Jotting it down seems to free up some mental energy I would normally use to keep these little tasks in the back of my mind while doing larger tasks. It's also been helping me be more efficient. A few times I've noticed that while looking over my to-do list, I've been able to batch tasks together to save time and energy.
Right now I'm not feeling too anxious about doing nothing because I know what's on my list and there isn't anything on it that I can't do tomorrow. And, knowing me, after a crash like this, I will feel energized and productive again (eventually).
So, about the bullet journaling specifically: I'm starting with the bare bones, basic "core" layouts as per the Ryder Carol original bullet journal. Index, Future Log, Monthly, Weekly, Daily. No art, no fancy layouts, no frills. I added a reading log right away, as I'm currently trying to meet reading goals every night. And I just added a lights out/wake up log a couple of nights ago.
I know that you are supposed to customize your journal to your own needs, and I'm already thinking about some changes. I've already started doing a "rolling daily log" instead of migrating unfinished tasks every day. I just scratch out yesterday's date and put today's. If some unfinished tasks get left behind too many pages back, I'll migrate them then.
I'm also thinking about maybe dividing the daily log into three sections horizontally per page. As a task pops into my head, I'll jot it down in one of the three sections based on: a) priority and b) time of day. For instance, the other day I needed to remember that a neighbour was dropping by in the evening to discuss something and I had to remember to give her back her key then. It was jotted down halfway up the page, and there were a bunch of tasks that I jotted down, and completed, after it. With the three sections method, I would have instead jotted it down further down the page in the third section. That way, it wouldn't have gotten lost in the weeds of all the tasks I completed earlier in the day. I think this will just help me visually keep a rolling list of tasks that mostly get completed from top to bottom. As well, some tasks can only be done at certain times of day (i.e. during regular business hours). So if, for instance, there's something that doesn't really matter when it gets done but, when it does, it should preferably be in the morning, I'd always jot that down in the first section of the daily log. If I miss doing it, I migrate it over to the next morning's section. I'm thinking there's probably other ways I can divide the daily log page as well, like a section for kitchen chores, a section for online chores and a section for errands. That would help me batch tasks together. But I'm sure a logical setup will shake itself out as I continue using the journal.
Something I've learned about the bullet journal community: I've been watching YouTube videos for "beginner bullet journaling" and I'm beginning to understand that some people spend a lot of time making their bullet journals pretty. Like, maybe too much time. Like, maybe to the point where they quit bullet journaling because it takes too much time. Or, they don't even get started in the first place because all they see are these beautiful, trending journals and they have a panic attack before even cracking open their shiny, new, $125-dollar, leather-bound, gold-embossed, hand-made organic paper harvested on a new moon notebook. That seems like such a shame. I think we need a counter-trend: mediocre bullet journaling. I'll start. Here are the daily log pages (circled in blue) of my mediocre bullet journal. It's been about 5 days and I have three full pages of bullets already! The first two pages of bullets mostly have a lovely x beside them 👍💪
It'll be fun to look back on this and see what changes I make to the layout as I get further along in the practice.
P.S. My cataract surgery was cancelled!! Rescheduled for next week 😮💨 I think this is mainly why I'm feeling burnt out. I spent a lot of mental energy preparing for this last week, and now the adrenaline is gone.
#100 days of productivity#100dop#to do list#chores#procrastination#declutter#cleaning#get motivated#bullet journal#bullet journaling#bujoblr#bujo aesthetic#bujoinspo#bujo spread#bujo#cataract removal#cataract surgery
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do You Ever Feel Like A Misfit (Everything Inside You Is Dark & Twisted)
Dick Grayson x Reader
Word Count: 3.5K (I don't know how tf that happened)
Warnings: Explicit language, Blood and Violence, lots of angst, Hurt/Comfort ✌
A/N: Guess who's back! Just for some context the reader is a magic user and her style is similar to that of Zatanna <3
•°•°•°•°
She’d have reasoned with herself that stealing from one of the most secure and heavily guarded safe-houses of a deranged sociopath was probably not the brightest idea she’s had all day. It never even made it on her to-do-list for the weekend, but here she was, running across rooftops, holding on to the stolen totem like her life depended on it, it probably did. The three assassins sent after her were no Lady Shiva or Talia Al Ghul but they weren’t exactly amateurs either. The deep cuts and two broken ribs she got from their earlier encounter were proof of that.
She glanced back and even though there was no sign of her would-be-killers she knew better than to assume they’d just let her be. They were sticking to the shadows, exploiting her blind spots. The only thing she was sure of was that they were still hot on her trail and would happily plunge a dagger into her back given the opportunity.
She was right. As of this moment she hated being right.
She caught the glint of the two sharp objects slicing through the air, hurtling towards her at full speed. A slight shift of her upper body was all she could manage as one of the daggers got embedded right into her scapula while the other one, fortunately so, whirled past her, slightly grazing her left hip. The impact of the blade on her shoulder made her lose what little balance she had left. Despite her best efforts, when the wounded shoulder made contact with the hard concrete, a loud, ear-piercing cry ripped out from her throat before she could push it back down.
Cursing under her breath she knew, she knew all she had were those few seconds of numbness and disorientation to get a grip and figure out her exit strategy. However, all her hopes started to sink as she saw one of the assassins come closer, appearing more of a blur than a person. Then again that was probably because of the nice, little concussion she got from her fall. The assassin walked over to her, unsheathed their sword and placed it right on her neck, blocking any and every way out.
“You were warned. The Demon’s Head does not tolerate treachery. We are here under his orders to bring back the totem along with the witch’s head; your head”
If she could, she would’ve rolled her eyes at the classic villainous dialogues thrown at her.
“Witch? Who’re you calling a witch Snow White? I’m clearly a sorceress, don’t they teach you the difference between the two in assassin school or something? Hell, I’d even let you call me an enchantress, though that name’s already been taken but you get my poin-”
The remaining words died in her throat as the sword on her neck shifted slightly. She knew she had extremely poor self preservation skills considering she’s clearly been instigating the very person sent to kill her, but even she wasn’t dumb enough to keep talking when the tiniest movement on either part could result in her having a severed jugular or carotid.
‘This is a pretty shitty way to die’
She thought back to how she used the last of her mystic energy to hide the totem away before her fall and how stupid that decision really was because now she could actually feel the agonizing pain coming from her shoulder. It started to spread throughout her back like wildfire, eyelids grew heavy against her wishes. Suddenly she felt really tired and the idea to close her eyes just felt so goddamn appealing.
‘No (Y/N) that’s the blood loss talking. Blood loss doesn’t get to make decisions’, she mentally scolded herself, still not breaking her eye contact with the person standing above her.
“Give us what you stole and we shall grant you the mercy of a quick death.”
That made her raise an eyebrow, “Ah, lemme think...the correct response here would be…”, she hummed, making a show of how hard she was thinking about the offer she was granted, “How about a fuck you? How would that do for you?”, she gave them a vicious grin, it was all teeth. They probably weren’t impressed by her response and it showed.
She knew there was no way out but she had promised herself once that if she were to die, that if she ever goes out, she’d be anything but a whimpering and sobbing mess. She was scared shitless, more so than she’d ever been while fending off the league, she won’t deny that but she would rather die than let them know that. ‘Well at least I got that ‘rather die’ part down to a T.’ she thought, eyeing the sharpness of the blade which was now raised up in the air
She felt bad for just giving up the way she did. Her whole life she was told to fight her way through the impossible, to attain the strength rivaling that of Zatanna Zatara, John Constantine and Doctor Fate himself. To be better than them, and there she was lying on the ground limp as a sword came down on her throat; all for a silly necklace. She would’ve huffed out a laugh if only her ribs weren’t broken, if only her body wasn’t screaming in pain, if only she had a way out. She didn’t. She was too tired, too drained, too numb to do anything else. Closing her eyes she stopped fighting, she let her growing unconsciousness claim her.
‘This is what you deserve anyway’, her barely there conscience remarked.
‘Fuck you too.’ she replied.
Everything went pitch black. The darkness encompassing her was peaceful, unlike the pain she had felt before. It was nice for a change. It sounded pathetic but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
•°•°
When she came to, the first thing she observed was the feeling of something soft against her back, next was a dull rhythmic sound which she realized was her own heartbeat. Though opening her eyes was a tiring task. It shouldn’t have been, but it was. She used all the energy she had into it and her eyelids fluttered open. She stared at the white ceiling and stayed like that for a few seconds; a few minutes? She couldn’t tell, but the pain was back now, not too much but enough to tell her it was there, to tell she was still alive.
She saw something shift in her peripheral vision and her body instinctively went stiff. Her mind which was blank before now ran in all directions.
‘Could be Ra’s Al Ghul… Could be worse’, she tried not to think about the worst case scenario, but she knew she had pissed off a lot of beings, beings far more powerful and far crueler than Ra’s himself. An involuntary shudder passed through her at the thought. That must’ve caught her captor’s attention as she felt the person move closer to her. Begrudgingly, she tore her gaze from the spot on the ceiling which she had been staring at this whole time and tilted her head. The man in black and blue who appeared, was probably the last person she had expected to see.
“Nightwing…”
Her voice was barely above a whisper and the hoarseness with which it came out it took her by surprise, but her body visibly relaxed at the sight of the familiar figure, at the sight of someone who would never hurt her.
She watched him pull out a chair from the desk nearby. He sat next to the bed she was lying on and gave her a soft smile, a smile that spelled one word ‘relieve’. She remembered how when she first met him two years ago, she found that particular smile extremely annoying, she had no reason to, but she did. What she couldn’t remember was when she had grown so fond of it.
“How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
He snorted a laugh which made her pout. She was planning to point out how he was being mean; laughing at her when her response truly defined the way she was feeling, but any words she thought of were cut off by the change in his expression. His smile faltered, lips were now pressed in a thin line, face contorted in a way which showed his genuine concern.
“This is the second time, this week.”
That you almost died, he didn’t say. That I had to save you and bring you back from the clutches of death, he didn’t say.
“I know.”
“That doesn’t make it better.”
“I know.”
The silence that settled, stretched far too long for comfort, but she wasn’t going to be the one to break it. She wanted to, but there was nothing she could say, that would make it better. Nightwing ran his fingers through the locks of hair, burying his face in his hands.
For the first time since she woke up, she took in his appearance, he looked disheveled, his suit was torn in different places along visible faint cuts, most likely he got them when he rescued her. She felt a pang of guilt rising in her chest. He risked his life for her, she knew he had done it before, she didn’t get it then and she didn’t get it now. Why would someone do that? Why would he? She was pulled back from her spiraling thoughts when he spoke again, exhaustion evident in his voice.
“Why are you so reckless?”
“Excuse me?”
She looked at him like he had grown another head. She wasn’t ready for this conversation but by the looks of it they were gonna have it anyway.
“What if I hadn’t been there today? Or any of the other days you almost died. What then?”
“My best guess? I would’ve been dead.”
“And that fact doesn’t bother you at all?!”
She flinched at little when his voice rose, but she stood her ground, at least figuratively since she was still in bed.
“I don’t know, should it?” She didn’t try and tone down the venom dripping from her words. Her words cut deeper than the wounds he got from the assassins; she saw it clear as day on his face. She let out a deep sigh but continued. She had to get it out and he had to hear it, that’s the reason she gave herself for the confession that followed.
“I don’t need your help, Dick. I don’t know what gave you the impression that I did but I’ve never needed it.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Why was it getting harder to speak?’ “I don’t need you to save me every time. I don’t need you to risk your life for me and I definitely don’t…” She moved to sit up straight, her back resting on the headboard. She shifted her gaze on her open palms resting in her lap; palms covered in blood, in her blood, not very long ago.
“I don’t need you to care...”
The last part was a whisper and Dick was silent, so silent that for a brief moment she wondered if the man she’d come to care about even heard her, admitting something that was so painful for her to say out loud.
Dick moved to sit beside her, his shoulder bumping hers. He didn’t know where all this was coming from but he knew better to leave it unattended.
“(Y/N) I help you because I care about you. I always will, you know that.”
“Why? You have nothing to gain from it”, blinking back the unshed tears in her eyes, she looked at him with a hurt expression as if she couldn’t bring herself to understand.
“Why… as in why do I care?”, Dick tilted his head to look her in the eyes, trying to understand what she meant all the while making sure not to let his own surprise at her words show. She nodded not trusting her voice to not betray her anymore than it already had.
“I don’t care about you because I feel like you need it nor because I would gain something from it”, Dick knew he shouldn’t have to explain it to her. He briefly wondered what she had gone through to make her think that she needed to be useful to be cared for or that she had to need it to be cared for. He felt something pull at his heart at the thought; It was sorrow.
“I care about you because… well I do and there’s nothing you could or couldn’t do to change that. And it is because I care about you that I ask you to be better at taking care of yourself. Now I know for a fact that whatever you stole from The League’s safehouse definitely did not belong there, but I also know that whatever it was, it wasn’t worth your life (Y/N) It never will be.”
Dick grasped one of her hands, interlacing his gloved fingers with hers; she hadn’t even realized she was shaking until he did so. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to take a deep breath despite her protesting ribs. Opening the palm of her free hand she muttered an incantation with practiced ease
“Eveirter tahw saw neddih “, her hand glowed, the golden aura taking the shape of a object. When the light subsided, Dick saw the object in her palm as she rubbed her thumb across it, quietly leaning her head on his shoulder.
“It was this totem. It belongs to Madame Xanadu. Don’t know what Ra’s wanted it for though”, she shrugged as best as she could with an injured shoulder then continued, voice firmer than it had been the whole evening,“ She asked me to retrieve it in exchange for information on a girl I was looking for. The girl was somehow sucked into some other dimension, a mystic one and her mother was so desperate when she approached me that I just couldn’t say no. So when I say the Totem was important, then I want you to know that it really is.”
Dick shook his head at that. “Still not worth your life.”
“Dick…”, she sighed. It was all she could do at the moment because she was really getting tired from all the arguing.
“Do you remember the first time we met?”
“You mean the time I met the infamous vigilante Nightwing in a dumpster of all places.”
“In my defense I was badly injured”, she hummed in agreement.
“You smelled bad”
“You try smelling like flowers after falling from a building and into an open dumpster.”
His playful grumbling pulled a short laugh out of her. She was more than a little confused at the sudden trip into the past but happily accepted it as a change of topic. She should’ve know better than to think he’d have let the matter go.
“Anyway my point is when you saw me that day, you first instinct was to help me. You pulled me out and used your magic to heal my wounds. You didn’t have to. You could’ve dropped me at a hospital. You could’ve even walked away and pretended that you never saw me, but you didn’t. Why is that?”
“Because I thought you were handsome?”, she said trying to lighten this too-heavy-for-comfort conversation he was trying to have.
“Nice try. I know you. You saved me because you cared. You helped me and the Titans save the city more than once because you cared. It is who you are. I’ve seen you care about and worry over complete strangers without conditions. So why do you think that there has to be some kind of a barter system when it comes to you? Why think that I would want to gain something if I cared about you?”
“Because everyone else did.”
The words shot out from her mouth quicker than she realized. She had voiced her greatest insecurity to the one person who never had anything to add to it and Dick’s heart clenched at the implications of her words, ‘She has never been loved unconditionally before’ his brain provided.
The tears she blinked back earlier came back with full force. She felt two strong arms that wrapped around her, all the while being mindful of her injuries. Dick pulled her into a hug and that was it. She couldn’t control the sobs that tore through her throat, the pain in her body flared due her erratic movements. She knew once the tears started flowing they wouldn’t stop at least not for a while, but now that her façade had been broken she couldn’t bring herself to give it another thought.
He waited for her to let it out, let out all the pent up emotions she had. Now that he thought about it he had never seen her cry. He never questioned it, maybe he should’ve.
“I don’t know who’s responsible for hurting you (Y/N), God, how much I wish I did”, his arms slightly tighten around her at that. “I am so sorry that you have felt like you have to have your walls up all the time, even around me and I should’ve seen that, I should’ve realized that before but I didn’t and I am so sorry for that. I can’t undo the damage you’ve endured and I will not pretend that I can. What I can do is promise you that I’d never let you down like that, never.”
The words he spoke were clear. He didn’t try to tell her to put her walls down, to trust him when she had no reason to. He also didn’t need to justify himself or make such over the top promises but it felt nice to hear it. She had already stopped crying the moment he started speaking again but she still had her forehead pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, it was calming in a way she couldn’t describe. She pulled her head back to look at him, and the honesty in his voice earlier matched the one in his eyes.
“Okay”
Hearing her response, he gave her his signature grin. It sent unexpected warmth through her, he always had that effect on her. She was sure she was just blushing at this point and was suddenly thankful for the dim lighting in the room.
She ended up composing herself rather quickly, jabbing a finger at his armored chest with her usual smirk plastered on her face.
“Now that you’ve made that promise, know this, Dick Grayson, if you let me down I will drop a mountain on you.”
“You mean that figuratively?”
“No I mean that geologically”, he waited for her to say she was kidding. She didn’t.
“Alright, alright”, He held his hands out in mock surrender. After considering the look in her eyes, Dick refrained from questioning the feasibility of that action nor did he want to question her magical abilities or intent. Last he remembered, Wally did that and that conversation ended with him being teleported to Sahara and Dick would very much like to avoid the same fate as his best friend.
Deciding that was more than enough exhaustion for one night, he got up from the bed and kissed her goodnight, informing her that he’d be sleeping on the couch so that he wouldn’t accidently hit her injuries in his sleep. She agreed and watched him slip out of the room before falling into the blissful sleep she had been putting off since forever.
•°•°
She knew Dick Grayson was full of surprises but the next morning when he put forward the offer of become a full time Titan, in front of her, she wondered if she fell from the bed in her sleep and ended up getting another concussion because he was so not making any sense.
“So let me get this straight, you want me to come live with you and your superhero friends, in the Titans freaking Tower?!”
“I was hoping for a little less yelling after an emotional evening but yes that is exactly what I’m asking.”
“Dick that’s just ridiculous!”
“Look, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
He looked like a kicked puppy which made her feel kinda guilty for all the yelling.
“It’s not that…It’s just there is still a lot about me I haven’t told them. There is still a lot I haven’t told you. I don’t see a reason why you all would want to trust a possible threat, let alone live with it”, she gestured to herself.
Dick felt like there was a deeper meaning behind her words, as if she was voicing her own fear rather than theirs but he trusted her enough to tell him about it when she was ready, on her own terms. He could wait till then but for now he crossed the short distance between them, going around the breakfast table till he stood in front of her. He grasped both of her hands in his and ran his thumb soothingly across her knuckles. He bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead, and then moved to meet her gaze.
“(Y/N), I know you and I trust you and…It sounds silly considering I was raised by the worlds greatest detective but I believe that you don’t have to know every little detail about someone as long as you already know what’s in their heart.” Bruce probably would’ve disagreed but he wasn’t Bruce.
“And you know what’s in mine?”
“And I know what’s in yours.” His statement was firm and left no room for argument, not when it came to this.
“If you’re sure about this, then I guess...”
“Is that a yes I’m hearing?”, There was that smile again, seriously what was up with him and his smile that made her giddy inside.
In between thoughts she realized he was still waiting for a response so she nodded. Any underlying doubts she had about her answer vanished when she took in how happy it made him. As cheesy as it sounded seeing him happy made her happy. A part of her said it wouldn’t last long, but seeing her boyfriend hop onto the couch full of joy as he called his friends about the latest development in their lives, she wanted to believe otherwise.
°•°•°•°•
#dick grayson reader insert#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#nightwing reader insert#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#nightwing imagines#nightwing imagine#nightwing angst#dick grayson angst#dc x reader#dc reader insert#dick grayson#nightwing#dc comics#dick grayson x female!reader#nightwing x y/n#nightwing x you#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n
239 notes
·
View notes
Text
Better Off As Lovers (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)
Word Count: 5,076
Warnings: SMUT, oral (female receiving), bad language, my shit writing
~~~~
salty4tsukki
said:
hello! i luv ur blog sm!! can i pls req a scenario (or hc if that’s easier) of tsukki and reader going from enemies to lovers? perhaps reader ended up doing tsukki a solid that saved his ass and that marked the turning point of their relationship? sfw+nsfw if that’s oki!! tysm in advanced :-)
~~~~
Here is some spice for you guys. I hope you like it, I had a lot of fun writing it lol. Tsukishima is such a fucking prick, I absolutely love it. @salty4tsukki I hope this was what you had wanted, also thank you so much for your support! Requests are closing tomorrow! I’m slowly but surely making my way through all of the requests and writing stuff up. I should probably be focusing on school but ya girl is avoiding responsibilities right now lmao. I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!😚😚😚
~~~~
“You’re literally the fucking worst.” you hissed; eyes narrowed into slits. “I bet hell gave you back to earth because you’re worse than Satan himself.”
All you got in response was a raise of a blonde eyebrow and an ignorant smirk.
“You want to get hit? Is that what you’re asking for?” You threatened, holding your fist up for emphasis.
You had never been more upset; in all honesty you probably wouldn’t have been this annoyed about the situation if it was someone else.
But because it was him, you knew that it was intentional, it wasn’t an accident as everyone else was making it seem.
“Now, now…” Koganegawa said, stepping between the two of you. “Tsukki didn’t know that was your dessert. It was an honest mistake.”
“That’s not an honest mistake Kanji!” You screeched. “I literally told everyone how excited I was to finally get my hands on that famous strawberry shortcake from that bakery! I got the last slice and he went and ate it!” you pointed at the tall blonde accusingly; who’s smirk was growing wider and wider as you wailed about the unfairness of it all.
“Can’t you just go get another one?” Kyoutani huffed, rolling his eyes from his spot on the floor.
“They’re famous for a reason Kentarou! I had to get up super early to stand in line! And even then, the line was super long! I waited for hours! You think I’m going to do that again!?” You were all but hysterical now.
You might have already been having a rough day though, and your missing cake was the cherry on top to it all.
The soft huff of a laugh caused you to whirl around, your tiny fists coming up to hit Tsukishima on his chest repeatedly.
“You’re the fucking worst!” you huffed out, frustrated tears springing to your eyes. The tall blonde was full on laughing at you now, much to your embarrassment and anger.
You couldn’t lie, it was a tad bit irrational to get so upset over a missing slice of cake. But it was a long sucky day, you were looking forward to that delicious morsel of strawberry goodness after practice, and it wasn’t fucking there.
“You’re so weak,” Tsukishima mused, easily grasping your hands in his large ones, preventing you from hitting him further.
Despite his rude words, his grip was surprisingly gentle.
You still ripped your hands away from his in anger.
“Don’t touch me, you thief.” You growled, cradling your hands against your chest, eyes glaring into the tall male.
“You’re so annoying. I already apologized.” Tsukishima said, stretching his arms above his head.
“An apology won’t bring back my cake!” You snapped, grabbing your stuff from the floor. “You’re the worst Tsukishima. Let’s go already, Kentarou.” You huffed.
The said male rolled his eyes before saying goodbye to his teammates, following you out of the gym.
You were still fuming quietly as you two walked home together.
Funnily enough, you had developed a close friendship with the small male, which resulted in him walking you home since he lived close by.
“I hate him.” You whined, tugging at the bottom of Kyoutani’s team jacket.
He swatted your hand away, causing you to whine again, reaching for him once more, he sighed in irritation but let you hold onto his jacket this time.
“You guys just need to fuck already.” He said.
You stopped walking; causing Kyoutani to be yanked back since you were holding onto his jacket.
“What the fuck Y/n?” He growled.
“I would never in a million years have sex with someone like him.” You said, face twisting in disgust.
Kyoutani had definitely lost his mind with that comment. Tsukishima was your enemy, your opposite half, the worst person that you have ever met, there was just no way.
“Are you serious?” He asked deadpanned. “It’s so disgustingly obvious you two like each other.”
You rolled your eyes at him, releasing his jacket from your grasp as you guys continued walking. “You’re blind Kentarou, we hate each other.”
“I think you’re the one who’s blind Y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow for morning practice.” he said waving goodbye to you as you entered your home.
The rest of your night was plagued with thoughts of Tsukishima, leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth despite the fact that you had brushed your teeth.
There was no way that Tsukishima liked you, nor you him. You did find him incredibly attractive, but who wouldn’t? He was tall and muscular, incredibly intelligent, and he was a good volleyball player.
Of course, people would find him attractive, but his personality was anything but, to you at least.
Your first ever interaction with him was entirely unpleasant, his mocking attitude and sarcastic comments left you with the worst impression of him, and it resulted in how you felt about him now.
But then… What did Kyoutani mean about you being blind?
You screamed loudly into your pillow.
****
“You look terrible.” Tsukishima raised his eyebrow at you, taking in your disheveled form.
“I didn’t get much sleep last night.” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes tiredly.
Tsukishima was actually quiet for once, somehow you had missed the flash of concern that shot through his eyes.
That didn’t go unnoticed by Kyoutani, who rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath how dense both of you were.
Practice ran smoothly, there surprisingly wasn’t any sarcastic comments directed at you from Tsukishima. For the most part, he left you alone today, much to your relief.
Now you were currently in one of the history classes you were a TA in. Between managing a volleyball team, and being a teaching assistant, it was no wonder you were always stressed out.
Funnily enough, Tsukishima was one of the students in that class.
“We’re going to hand back your midterm essays now.” The professor announced. You grabbed the papers from your folder and started walking around the class handing them back to the nervous students.
Your brows furrowed as you had realized that you only held three more papers in your hand, you hadn’t even given Tsukishima’s - oh. Your eyes widened slightly as you looked over at the tall male, he looked irritated, his eyes finding yours, there was a slight shake to his head.
He had never turned in the essay.
That’s right, the essay was due around the same time that volleyball practices were incredibly strenuous in preparation for some important matches.
But the midterm essay counted as a large portion of the grade, which meant that if Tsukishima received a zero, then he would fail the class, which meant that he wouldn’t be allowed to play volleyball any -
“I seemed to have made a mistake Professor.” You said. “I think I lost Tsukishima’s paper…”
What were you doing?
Shit, you could get in big trouble for this so why were you doing this?
“It’s not like you to be scatterbrained like this Y/n.” the Professor shook his head. “I swear you take on too many tasks, between this and being a team manager… Tsukishima, do you mind turning in the paper again to Y/n? Let us say… by the end of the day?”
“It’s no problem sir.” Tsukishima said quietly, eyes glancing over to you as you finished handing out the last of the essays.
“I’m sorry Tsukishima, I hope you can forgive me.” You said sweetly, bowing at him slightly.
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck were you doing?
Tsukishima was taken back by your tone and your show of respect towards him, that was new.
That was… shit was he blushing? He ignored the creeping heat in his face and the slightly quicker thump of his heart. He pushed his glasses up slightly. “It’s not a problem.” he said quietly.
You nodded at him once more as you made your way back towards the front of the room, ignoring the rising blush in your own face and the racing of your own heart. You got lucky that the professor really took a liking to you as his TA, you could get away with murder when it came to this class.
Tsukishima was incredibly lucky as well, he was the top student in this class, never missed any assignments, always participated in class, so of course the professor was going to be more lenient with him.
No one would have ever guessed that he had never turned in his midterm, except you.
That was something that you didn’t understand, why would you help him out?
It was because he was just part of your team, right? You were doing this because you wanted your team to succeed right? He was one of the best players you had, so if you lost him that would hurt the team… that was why, right?
Or maybe… maybe Kyoutani was right.
Maybe, just maybe, by chance you actually did harbor a small attraction to the tall blonde.
****
The rest of the day was seemingly uneventful, and you found yourself wrapping up the evening volleyball practice.
“Hey.” an all too familiar voice called out, a sudden shadow being cast over your small form as you began picking up the volleyballs on the floor.
You glanced up to see Tsukishima looking down at you, curiosity clear in his gold eyes.
“What is it?” You asked, ignoring the quickening of your heart. What was wrong with you?
“Why did you do that?” he asked, beginning to pick up the balls.
“What do you mean?” You sighed tiredly, you just wanted to go home. You had no energy left in your body to argue with the snarky male before you.
“You knew that I didn’t turn in the paper… why did you lie to the professor like that?” He asked quietly.
“Well…” your eyes slid over to him before looking down at the ball in your hands. “I knew that the professor would cut you some slack since you are one of his favorite students… plus… it would be bad if you got a zero, right? You would’ve failed the class…” You trailed off, your eyes glancing back up at him, taking notice to the small smirk that began to cover his lips.
“- and we can’t afford to lose one of our players! You’re tall and stupid but you’re a decent player so that’s why I did it! I didn’t want to hurt the team just because you were being stupid and forgetful!” You said, voice annoyed as you all but slammed the volleyball into his arms. “Hurry up and put those away, I want to go home.” you huffed, stalking away.
You hadn’t noticed the small smile that overtook his face as he watched you walk away.
“Are you ready to go?” You asked once you guys had finished cleaning up, Kyoutani nodded, grabbing his bag from the floor.
“Hold on.” a hand grabbed the back of your jacket, yanking you back into a warm and broad chest.
You blinked up to see Tsukishima peering down at you, eyebrows raised.
You could feel your face burn at his proximity and as you stumbled away from him.
“W-What is it now?” You stuttered out.
“Here. Professor said to give it to you by the end of the day. I just had to reprint it out.” he said, handing you his midterm.
Your eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you actually did the assignment?”
“It was already done, I just forgot to submit it.” he said, shrugging.
“And I thought you were just lazy and didn’t do it at all.” You said in awe, eyes skimming through the papers.
“Don’t put me in with the likes of you.” he snorted, eyes rolling, although there was an unseen fondness swimming within those golden orbs, unseen to you at least. It was entirely apparent to Kyoutani who seemed to have a larger scowl on his face.
“Shut up stupid! I’m going to grade your paper harshly now!” you hissed, glaring at him.
“You can try,” he drawled out. “But I did the assignment perfectly. I shouldn’t get anything less than an A.”
“We’ll see.” you snapped.
****
“Stupid Tsukishima. Does he have to be perfect at everything?” You grumbled to yourself as you finished grading his paper.
He was right.
He did the assignment perfectly.
You shouldn’t have said anything to the professor, especially if he was going to be so smug about it.
Why was he so infuriating?
You could see the flash of his smirk behind your lids when you blinked, it caused your heart to race, your fist to clench tightly together. You just wanted to slap that stupid smirk off of his stupid gorgeous face and -
Damn it.
It seemed like recently your thoughts were completely consumed by him.
“Speak of the devil.” You muttered to yourself when you noticed who was calling you.
“What do you want?” You hissed.
“Oh, good you are awake.” His rang smoothly through the speaker.
“Yeah because I stayed up late to grade your midterm, so I didn’t have to worry about it over the weekend.” You huffed, sitting back in your chair.
“Well what’s the verdict?” he asked smugly.
You could feel your nostrils flaring in anger at his tone. “You got an A. Which is surprising to me since you’re the biggest moron that I know.”
“I already told you not to lump into the same category as you.”
“I’m hanging up now.” you announced, your blood boiling at his comment.
“Wait. Go open your door.” he demanded.
You frowned. “Why would I do that?”
“Just do it and hurry up.” you could all but see his eyes rolling.
You huffed angrily, stalking over to your front door, and yanking it open to reveal the blonde male smirking at you.
You could feel your brows furrow as you tried to register what was happening.
Tsukishima, your enemy, was standing at the front of your home, cladded in his team jacket and joggers, and he was holding a bag.
“Took you long enough.” he said, removing the phone from his ear and stepping past you into your home.
He was already removing his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack near your front door, heading towards your kitchen.
“Are you just going to stand there all night?” he called out, never looking back.
That comment snapped you out of your confusion, you quietly closed the door, following after the blonde that was beginning to make tea like he was in his own home and not someone else's.
“What are you doing?” You asked quietly, eyes following his every movement.
“Just be quiet and sit down.” he said simply, and for some reason… you actually listened.
You wracked your brain for all the reasons as to why Tsukishima was in your home this late at night, using your kitchen.
You snapped back to reality when he placed a plate and a mug in front of you.
Your eyebrows raised slowly, but you couldn’t help the twinkle in your eyes as you gazed at the treat before you.
A slice of cake, but the strawberry shortcake from that bakery to be exact. The sweetness of the strawberries and cream, along with the earthy scent of the tea, caused a delicious warmth to swell up in your body.
“How did you -”
“It’s a thank you.” he cut you off, pulling up a chair across from you, tea and cake sitting in front of him. “For helping me out with the paper.”
You couldn’t help the smile that began to stretch across your lips, Tsukishima seemed shy almost, embarrassed maybe? Whatever it was, it was a pleasant change from his usual scowl and smirk.
“Did you wait long?” you asked quietly, carefully cutting into the cake. “They aren’t even open at this hour…”
“No, the line wasn’t too bad, I went after practice finished.” he said, glancing over at you. It was a partial lie, Tsukishima did wait a long time, but he did go after practice had finished.
“Why did you wait this long to come over then?” you asked, sighing in pleasure as you took a bite.
There was a reason why this bakery was so famous for their strawberry shortcake, it was the best cake you had ever had.
“I thought you might’ve been too busy in the evening, since you promised coach you would hand in those data forms tomorrow… and the in class activity we did today… you said you would grade tonight and get it back to us Monday…” he trailed off quietly, cutting into his slice.
You blinked at him, the thumping in your heart increasing.
Since when was he so observant with you?
“Since always. You’ve just never noticed.” he said, gold eyes boring into your own.
You could feel your face heating up, shit, did you really ponder that aloud?
What was this feeling bubbling up in your gut? It burned and turned pleasantly the longer you stared at him.
A sudden shyness washed over you as you broke eye contact, eyes casting back down to the cup of tea that was now resting between your hands.
“O-Oh.”
It was silent again, it wasn’t awkward, but there was definitely something lingering heavily in the air.
You just couldn’t place your finger on it.
“You have something…” Tsukishima began to say, suddenly reaching over, his strong fingers gently grasped your chin, tilting it up, thumb beginning to brush at the corner of your lips.
Without even thinking about it, your tongue darted out, swiping across his thumb, tasting the saltiness of his skin and the sweetness of the cream that had lingered at the corner of your mouth.
Tsukishima’s eyes darkened considerably; air rushing out of his nose as he exhaled deeply. His thumb rubbing against your lower lip.
Your eyes glazed over, lips parting slightly, inviting him entrance to your mouth. Tsukishima’s thumb pushed past your lips, resting on your tongue. Your eyes fluttered shut, your tongue gently running along the pad of his thumb.
You could feel the blood roaring in your ears, your stomach twisting in arousal.
“Fuck.” he whispered, the sound of a chair being pushed back, his thumb leaving the wetness of your mouth.
It all happened so fast, by the time you had opened your eyes Tsukishima was hauling you out of your chair and up on the counter. His large hand grasped your face firmly before slamming his lips against yours.
You gasped, allowing his tongue to snake his way in, exploring every inch of your wet cavern.
You couldn’t help the moan that tore through your throat, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders, fingers sliding into the blonde locks at the back of his head, your legs wrapping around his hips.
Fuck, you couldn’t get enough of this. He was everywhere, warm and solid against your body; all you could smell was him, all you could taste was him and fuck did he taste good. You could still taste the sweetness of cream on his tongue, the tartness of the strawberries, and him.
It was intoxicating.
You were drowning in everything that was Tsukishima and fuck did you like it. The way his big hands gripped at your face, your waist, pulling you closer, kissing you deeper, it was too much.
But it also wasn’t enough.
“What are you - ahh - what are you doing?” you whimpered out, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he trailed his hot lips against your throat, sucking and biting at every inch of it.
“What do you think I’m doing you idiot?” he breathed against the shell of your ear. He grinded his hips against yours causing the loud moan to escape your lips, he was hard against you.
“I don’t…” you whined softly as he grabbed your hips, pressing you tightly against his crotch, grinding against you sinfully. “I don’t understand… Tsukki… Kei.” you whined again, hips bucking up on their own, aching for more friction.
Fuck you were so wet, so hot and bothered, you needed him to touch you more.
“Fuck.” he hissed out, eyes squeezing tightly together as you whined out his name. “Fuck… you’re so infuriating. You still don’t get it do you?” he growled out, nipping at your lobe as his ragged breathing increased.
You couldn’t muster up any words, all that escaped your lips was a drawn-out moan as one of his hands reached up and massaged one of your breasts harshly.
“I like you, Y/n. I’ve liked you since the very beginning. But you never… fuck…” he hissed as you slipped a hand under his shirt, nails dragging against his smooth skin. You could feel the muscles of his stomach flexing beneath your touch, the pace of his hips increasing against yours.
“You never noticed.” he finally growled out, reaching up and yanking your shirt off your body. “The only time you ever paid attention to me was when I made you mad, you simple minded woman. It’s so easy to get you riled up…” he kissed you harshly now, teeth knocking together before he bit into your lip harshly, causing your nails to dig further into his chest.
“But then in class when you lied straight-faced to the professor… and then when you looked at me with that sweet expression, and those wide eyes… I couldn’t help but wonder what other kinds of faces you can make for me.” he finished quietly. His breathing was labored, and his lips were swollen but the intensity of his gaze caused your body to squirm.
“What do you say?” he asked, his voice deep and rough, his grip on you was still tight, but his hips had stilled, he was pulled back slightly from you, allowing you space to breathe.
“Please.” You whimpered out, tears springing up in your eyes, you were too riled up now, body too hot and aching for release.
You needed him. You needed Tsukishima to touch you more, you needed him to whisper filth into your ear, you needed to feel his skin sliding against yours, and most of all, you needed him be buried deep inside of you.
“I need to hear you say it Y/n.” He grasped your jaw, angling your face up to his as he stared down at you. “Say it.”
You could feel your lower lip quivering, you were aching for it, aching for him. “Kei please! Just - just fuck me already!” you wailed. “What are you waiting for!? Just fuck m-” he yanked you off of the counter, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he carried you to your couch, dropping you down haphazardly before his hands were everywhere, ripping the clothes off your body until you were completely bare.
He stared shamelessly at your nakedness, eyes running over every curve of your body. His hands rested on your bent needs, pulling them open and staring openly at your glistening cunt.
“Don’t look.” you whimpered, moving one of your hands to cover yourself up. He easily knocked your hand away.
“Don’t hide yourself from me.” he said as he moved to remove the rest of his clothing.
Tsukishima was beautiful, long, and lean, his muscular frame exposed to your greedy eyes as you scanned his body.
Your lips trembled at the sight of his stiff member, leaking precum and standing painfully tall.
He grasped his cock lazily, his hand easily sliding up and down his shaft as he gazed down at you. His other hand reached down to gather the obscene amount of wetness that was gathering between your legs.
“You’re soaked,” he moaned, eyes flashing dangerously. “You want me to fuck you? Or do you want me to taste you?”
You could feel your mouth run dry at his questions.
Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed slightly, his large hand coming down to swat at your thigh. You gasped the stinging sensation, your arousal spiking dramatically.
“Answer me.” he demanded.
Your lips trembled, eyes glazing over with unshed tears, you were so pent up, you needed something, anything that would provide you with some kind of release.
It was only for a moment, but there was a flash of gentleness, the hand that had swatted at your thigh rubbed at the skin tenderly.
“You’re so beautiful.” he said quietly, and then he was moving to situate himself between your legs, grasping at your thighs before his head ducked down and his hot tongue licked a strip up your soaked slit until it rested on your clit.
You moaned loudly; your head being thrown back as your body trembled with pleasure.
His tongue lapped lazily against you, flickering up and down against that swollen bundle of nerves, occasionally dipping further down, sliding into your entrance, tasting you completely before sliding back up.
It didn’t take long for you to get close to your orgasm. Your body was taut, aching for release. It was too much almost; your fingers tangled tightly in his hair, you couldn’t tell if you were pushing him away or pulling him closer.
All you knew was that he was giving you everything right now. Tsukishima pulled your clit into his mouth now, sucking hard, his front teeth gently brushing against it.
Your legs were tense, thighs quacking as you approached your release, the quiet room was filled with your drawn out moans and pants, wet slurping noises escaping your lower half as Tsukishima all but devoured your cunt completely.
You came with a cry, body convulsing against the cushions of the couch, thighs trying to close together, squeezing tightly against Tsukishima’s head. You whimpered brokenly as you tried to wiggle yourself away from the blonde that was still sucking at your clit, but his grip was tight, refusing to let you go, forcing your over sensitive cunt to produce another orgasm.
In the midst of it all, he yanked himself away, lining his stiff cock against your swollen entrance and then snapping his hips forward, sheathing himself inside of you completely.
A loud cry tore through your lips, you were still in the middle of your orgasm when he entered, your slick gushing out around him and spilling onto the cushions below.
“Are you gonna cum again?” he breathed watching you in awe as you struggled to adapt to his size.
“Fuck you are.” he moaned, your tight walls fluttering around him as your third one ripped through your body. “I can’t believe you came again just from me entering you.” he breathed out, hands resting on your hips.
Tsukishima gave you no time to adjust, his hips snapping forward harshly as he set a brutal pace.
You could feel your eyes rolling into the back of your head, your fingers gripping at the couch, needing something, anything to hold on to.
His cock rubbed against your walls perfectly, your body having no time to keep up with his movement, the stretch burned, the pleasure toe curling. Your legs were wrapped around his waist, pulling him in deeper, keeping him closer.
Suddenly your world shifted, Tsukishima hauled your body up, forcing you to sit on top of his thick member. You cried out loudly, this new position caused his cock to rub up inside of you at a new angle.
He never stopped, his large hands gripped at your hips now, forcing you up and down as you rode him, his hips snapping up to meet the downwards roll of your hips.
All you could do was grip at his broad shoulders weakly, struggling to keep up with his pace, struggling to adjust to the new depth that he reached within you.
But you couldn’t. You could hardly breathe, you couldn’t think of anything except for Tsukishima and the pleasure he was giving you.
“Look at you.” he groaned, eyes never leaving your face. “You make the sweetest faces when I’m inside of you.”
“Kei…” You sobbed. “Please.”
You weren’t sure what you were asking for at this point, the pleasure was mind numbing, the room was filled with sounds of your moans and his grunts, the wet squelching noises of your cunt as it was being stuffed over and over again was something that might’ve embarrassed you if you had the time to even think about it.
But you didn’t, all you could think about was unraveling again, all you could think about Tsukishima Kei. Your enemy, the most annoying man you had ever met, but he was also the most intelligent man you had ever met, the most beautiful man you had ever met, and now he was the only man that you ever wanted to receive pleasure from.
You came again with a loud sob, gushing around him, dripping onto his upper thighs, body trembling against his as you collapsed on top of his chest.
He groaned your name loudly, thrusting up sharply into your cunt once more before spilling himself into your hot center.
It felt like time had stopped around you as you struggled to catch your breath. You weren’t sure how long it was that you guys stayed like this.
But you have never been more tired, more comfortable in your entire life than right now.
You could feel your eyes drooping down, your face buried into the crook of his neck, his long fingers gently tracing delicate patterns into the skin of your back.
Tsukishima shifted, easily picking you up, your legs wrapped around his waist, his member still buried deep inside of you. You vaguely remember answering his question about where the bathroom was and soon you found yourself perched up on the bathroom counter.
You could feel his cum slowly leaking out of your swollen cunt, trickling down your leg as he gently cleaned you up. You didn’t even remember how you ended up in your bed, but now you were curled up against the tall blonde, wrapped up in the security of his arms as he rubbed your back gently.
“I still hate you Kei.” you mumbled against his chest, sighing softly before pressing your lips into his smooth skin.
“I know.” he smirked against your hair, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “Go to sleep. We’ll go and get breakfast tomorrow.”
Okay maybe you didn’t hate him, but he was still infuriating to you.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfics#haikyuu smut#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima kei smut#tsukishima kei x you#tsukishima kei imagine#tsukishima kei oneshot#tsukki x reader#tsukki x you#tsukishima kei fluff#tsukki smut#requests
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
winning!Ranmaru Kageyama x Reader: What Have You Done?!
a/n: i just finished the most recent installment in yttd andn holy fuck,,,,,,winner! ranmaru just. holy shit! i love him so much. (also i guess you sort of take saras place? like shes there but youre ranmarus buddy instead and uhh hc that she got joe’s doll for a partner because i love thme) hgnghgh)\
also please leave requests!!! please!!!! for almost any character from almst any fandom!!!!!! please!!!!!!
also this is....a long one. probably gonna be a two parter! <3
“I’ll hold him back, just go! Reko...she....she’s-”
Watching with the others in the classroom as Kurumada held Ranmaru to the ground by his head, you looked down at Ranmaru’s pleading expression.
Before you could reach for him though, you were quickly ushered out by your panicked friends and allies.
Ranmaru....what did you...
◤...three hours prior to this...◢
“Keiji! I’m here! Please come out, everyone is so worried!”
“y/n....”
“Are you...there Keiji?”
A hand that clamped around your shoulder sent you into shock as you sprawled forward to the ground. “Waugh!!! Wh-who!?!?” You whipped yourself around to face a concerned looking Ranmaru.
“Heya y/n.” He said with a smirk and a wave. “Gah! Ranmaru, you scared me...!”
“Clearly.” He smiled as he offered a hand out to you. You gave him a pleased smile as you took his hand. “So....Keiji was a no-show, huh?”
“I mean, Sara was too worried to go alone so I offered to go in her place...but it looks like we should have followed Keiji’s instructions, huh?” You laughed dejectedly, as the missing friendly policeman’s absence was beginning to create a deep worry in the back of your mind.
The expression on your face seemed to clearly resemble your disappointment of not finding him, as a pair of fingers snapped out in front of you.
“Heeey? Earth to y/n, I asked you a question. You alright?”
You gave a curt, polite nod. “Sorry, yeah, what did you say again?”
Ranmaru sighed as he patted your back, “Man, you’re a mess today, eh? I asked....ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵃᵛᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ᵗᵒ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴹᵃᵖˡᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ....” The last part was quietly spoken, but you heard what he said, and you knew what he meant.
“What!? You mean about what she about....winning?” Ranmaru’s uneasy expression meant that was exactly what he was talking about.
“We can’t! E-everyone has been...working so hard together, and with you all as our new allies-” “They’re not all your allies. We were made to get rid of you humans, but Maple told me something the rest of them don’t know. Why won’t you let me act on it?! I can save us, save you!”
“That’s enough! I can’t...hear you say that. Not you, Ranmaru, please.”
“You wouldn’t have to do anything, y/n, I swore I’d protect you. Reko, Sara, Keiji, everyone! I’ll kill them, and I’ll get you out of this horrible game!”
As if the idea of winning crossing Ranmaru’s mind at all hadn’t hurt enough to hear about, here was your partner for this entire floor’s length of horrors telling you he’d kill all your allies to save the both of you.
Ranmaru wasn’t wrong. You were tired. You wanted to go home. You missed your friends, and your regular old life. You adored Ranmaru, and even without knowing what to do after this could end, you wanted to have him by your side.
What am I thinking?!
“Ranmaru! I don’t want you to protect me. I want us to all escape together, and I could never ask you to betray our allies!”
Something about the way you delivered that line stuck with Ranmaru though. You couldn’t ask him? Then you didn’t have to. He’d help you, and he’d take all the responsibility too. All the guilt, the hardships, the terror? He could handle it...if it was for you. You and him were going to win, and you were going to live. And after all his efforts, maybe, just maybe, you could be his.
And with the seeds sown, Ranmaru’s mind began racing with ways to get every single human and doll eliminated before they could realize what was going on.
And that would begin with the lovely, unknowing Ms. Reko.
◤...present time...◢
“Oh...no....” Sara uttered, her breath entirely taken away from the sight before us.
The magnetic trap mechanism in the locker room had been activated while Reko was in it. “Reko, please, no...holy shit...” Q-taro mourned. Her grotesquely snapped neck was just barely holding her entirely hanging body to the ceiling by her collar.
Everyone was whispering their words of loss and grief. You couldn’t speak though. You instantly made the connection between Kuramada tackling Ranmaru and what he had said about getting here quickly. This was preventable. And actually....
This was your fault.
Ranmaru wanted you to win, and he wanted you to take him with you. You didn’t chastise him enough to stop this, and now Reko’s blood and tears were on your hands.
The quiet stip-step of shoes tapping on the concrete floor sprung you from your remorseful daze. “y-y/n...I swear...I didn’t-”
A louder, heavier pair of feet could be heard hitting the solid ground harshly.
“Bastard! You’ll pay for what you’ve done!! My trust, their trust, you’ve ruined everything!” Kurumada went in for a swing as Ranmaru barely dodged him, bumping his backside into your front.
“NO! It wasn’t me! I wasn’t even anywhere near this room, I was with y/n!”
“That was a whole goddamn hour ago, you lying piece a’ shit! You woulda been in the control room well after that!”
“Why would I kill Reko?! I had no motive to kill the humans, our tasks were erased and our connections were cut! I would never-”
“Bullshit. No motive? What was all that crap about winning for, then?”
Ranmaru fell silent.
“You...you thought I was dead. And you thought you could leave the transceiver on and cheer yourself on for winning the game, huh?!”
Ranmaru’s silence persisted, your stomach dropping further than you thought possible.
He took a slow inhale...
“Yeah. I did think you were dead, but now I see you’re just as big of an obstacle as ever. All you damn dolls. I’ll get rid of you all, and y/n and I are gonna win.”
“Ranmaru...”
“I didn’t think I’d get caught on the first try, I mean geez! I really hoped it’d be easier than this, that I could be stealthy, but apparently not...”
It was like his entire demeanor changed. His usual hesitance to speak, his more crouched and small frame, and his kind meekness were all completely stripped away, replaced by this malicious, devious darkness that seemed to emanate off his body.
“Well, well! Somethin’ fun’s happening in here, amirite?!”
“M-Midori!?” You cried out as his arm creepily slung around your shoulder. You backed away as Ranmaru stayed staring him down. “Ohh, what perfect timing. Midori...I have a deal for you, something to keep this game interesting.” Ranmaru sounded like a perfect copy of Midori, it was beginning to frighten you. Reko’s body still left all the survivors in shock, no one but the three dolls who were as lively as ever being able to speak.
“ ᴿᵃⁿᵐᵃʳᵘ...ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ, ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ...“ You finally uttered.
“What might this deal be, my pathetic doll?” Scoffing at his comment, Ranmaru pleads with him, “If you could just please...kill the dolls. Leave me as the sole doll and I swear I’ll give you a show you’ll never forget.” You weren’t sure what made you sicker, the grin that was spread across both Ranmaru’s and Midori’s faces, or the dark tone Ranmaru suddenly took, his genuineness shining through. He would kill every survivor. You might really win, and you still didn’t know what to think about it.
The tension in the room was so thick you could slice through it with a knife. Everyone's eyes were trained on you, Ranmaru, and Midori. You felt sick, the energy of the room suffocating you slowly.
"I think I could do something like that."
As if it couldn't drop any lower, your organs practically just disappeared from inside you. "H-hey, you're not...serious, are ya?" Q-taro finally spoke up, the first of the survivors to actually something.
"Why wouldn't I be? This deal is of great benefit to me....and y/n it seems." Midori's tucked in smile sent shivers down your spine as he stared at you with his widened eyes.
"First though...the banquet has to happen."
The reminder brought the most sincere relief you'd ever felt in your life. You still had time to convince Ranmaru not to go through with his ridiculous sabotage plan.
The room calmed as everyone slowly and hesitantly made their way back to the graveyard. How was anyone supposed to work together after something like that...?
◤...to be continued (eventually)...◢
I HAD TO END THIS BECAUSE I WAS SLOWLY FORGETTING WHERE I WAS GOING WITh thIS SO ILL START WITH THE BANQUET IN THE NEXT PART TY FOR READING PLEASE REQUESTS MWAH ILY BYE BYE<3
#ranmaru kageyama#ranmaru#ranmaru yttd#ranmaru kageyama yttd#ranmaru x reader#ranmaru kageyama x reader#yttd x reader#x reader#yttd#ranmaru x reader yttd#yttd ranmaru x reader#kageyama ranmaru x reader#your turn to die#your turn to die fanfic#your turn to die ranmaru#ranmaru your turn to die
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Father You’ll Be
Boil/Waxer with a side of Cody/Rex
Rating: G
Warnings: there is brief mention of the cadets dying during the Battle of Kamino. Nothing graphic, but there are mentions.
for @clonehavensotm
Ao3 link
Boil walked into the barracks and began stripping off his armor, desperately ready to go to sleep. After a long day of fighting, the 212th and the 501st worked with Rancor to clear up the debris around Kamino, until they’d been awake for approximately two and a half day cycles. Every step felt heavier than the last, until Boil felt like he was about to fall asleep where he was standing.
At least, he felt that exhausted until he realized Waxer was no longer behind him. Nor was he anywhere in the barracks.
For several moments, Boil debated the merits of just falling into bed without Waxer, but the longer he stood there without knowing where he was, the more agitated he became. With a heavy sigh and a silent curse, Boil put his armor back on and marched out into the hallways of Kamino. Several other vod’e tried to reach out and stop him, to try and drag him to bed, but Boil just shrugged off their concerned hands and continued on to the mess hall.
Boil sighed heavily when he couldn’t find Waxer in the mess hall, nor could he find him back in the area they had been cleaning up. He would not be able to settle down properly until he at least knew where Waxer was and what he was doing.
There were many places on Kamino that Waxer could be hiding. He tended to go for a run after a high-risk battle, just to help himself settle. But he could also have gone to the training halls to work out his energy, as there were most likely plenty of brothers who he could spar against. Boil really should have expected this kind of reaction from Waxer. This battle was different from any other they’d fought in before. There was more at stake, more at risk if they failed. Worse casualties. They’d lost far too many ikaade when the droids crashed through one of the domes, and several barracks were overrun by droids—
Boil froze.
He knew exactly where Waxer was.
With a quick about-face, Boil marched towards the Littles’ barracks. Waxer always had a bleeding heart for anyone who was in need of help, but especially animals and children. Numa was a perfect example of that (Boil conveniently neglected to remember how enamored he had been by the sweet Twi’lek girl). After the kind of loss all clones had experienced that day with the death of their vod’ikase and ikaade, Waxer would want to comfort the Littles.
“Boil? What are you still doing awake?”
Commander Cody was leaning against the wall, guarding a doorway with Rex by his side. They both looked exhausted, especially since they’d been working with Rancor command while Colt and Havoc were in the medbay getting patched up. Boil did not envy their jobs. The two of them were effectively coordinating three battalions in the cleanup efforts with the help of Commander Blitz and ARC Hammer. They were also the ones dealing with the casualty reports.
“Sir,” Boil snapped off a salute. “Just going to find Waxer, sir.”
Cody’s brow furrowed. “He’s not with you? I thought I assigned the two of you to the same work crews.”
“You did, sir,” Boil answered. “I got to the barracks and turned around and he wasn’t there. I have a pretty good idea of where he disappeared to, though.”
With a strained look in his eyes, Cody nodded. It was likely that he, too, had guessed where Waxer was, and the Commander definitely wouldn’t get mad at either of them for being in the littlest cadet dorms. “Make sure he gets some sleep tonight. A pile of Littles will probably help more with that than anything else at this point. Hell, I might even join you later. We lost too many of them today, and it’ll be nice to see them and make sure they’re holding up well.”
“I’m sure they’d love that,” Rex murmured. “The Great Marshal Commander Cody coming to visit them and hug and hold them. They’ll love you for that.”
Cody sighed and thunked his head back against the wall. “You’re never gonna let me live the hero worship down, are you?”
“Nope,” Rex huffed a weak attempt at a laugh. He sounded exhausted, just as worn as the rest of them, and more since he was also dealing with a padawan commander who stumbled upon a bunch of cadets killed by Grievous. Boil had heard the rumors, and he was so glad neither he nor Waxer had had to see any of the bodies of their little brothers. That would have crushed them both.
“Bring Commander Tano,” Boil said spontaneously. He shifted back on his feet when both the Commander and the Captain looked at him in surprise. “Well, I think it would do her good to see the cadets, too. And I’m sure they’d like to meet a shiny Jedi. They probably have only ever seen General Ti from a distance.”
“Ahsoka would like that, I think,” Cody answered, looking to Rex for confirmation. Boil wasn’t sure why. It was well-known among the 212th and the 501st that both Rex and Cody had adopted the young Jedi and loved her as fiercely as any nat-born loved their children. Ahsoka looked up to Cody and probably spent just as much time with him as she did with Rex.
“We have some a few tasks left to do before we can bunk down,” Rex said slowly. “But then we should be free to come join you. Ahsoka is debriefing with the Generals and checking on the injured in the medbay, but I’ll try to wrangle her into coming with us.”
Boil nodded. “I’ll go find Waxer and let you know which barracks he’s hid himself in. I’ll see you soon, sirs.”
Cody and Rex waved him off, and Boil continued down the hallway, each step heavy with grief and exhaustion. He counted off the doors until he reached the bunks for the youngest cadets decanted and poked his head into each one, looking for the tell-tale sign of a puppy-pile of vod’e flopped all over Waxer.
It wasn’t until the fifth barracks he checked that Boil finally found him. Waxer was telling a story about one of their many missions, watered down so that it was appropriate for little audio receptors. He had a pair of Littles curled together under each arm, and two sitting on his lap while another dozen or so piled around his legs. His armor was neatly stacked on a nearby pod, and it was clear that Waxer was planning on spending the rest of the night here with the little ones.
“And then these great big, hungry monsters started chasing them through the streets of Nabat. They were closing in on Commander Cody, and his blaster wasn’t working against their tough skins. He was trapped, weaponless, and about to be eaten. And do you know what happened?”
One of the Littles on his lap perked up and grinned. “He punched them?”
“Or kicked them!”
“Nah, he used his blaster to beat them up!”
“You saved the day, Waxer!” a Little chirped from where he was practically buried underneath his brothers.
“Thank you, 53, but no. I was actually on my own adventure with Boil at the time. I heard about all of this after it happened,” Waxer grinned. He looked up, caught Boil’s eye, and shrugged apologetically.
Boil found he couldn’t really be mad at Waxer. Not when he was helping the little vod’ikase. With a heavy sigh, Boil stripped off his armor and set it next to Waxer’s while he distracted the little brothers.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Waxer continued his story with a wide grin. “General Kenobi leaped in front of the charging monsters, without his lightsaber—“
“No!” a Little cried. He was curled up on his brother’s lap, tucked snugly under Waxer’s right arm, but when he shouted, he sat bolt upright, horror written on every tiny, adorable feature.
That one is going to be Cody’s. He’s going to adopt that Little next, Boil thought to himself. As he sat down, he and Waxer exchanged a knowing look, even as his lap was immediately overrun by Littles looking for a comfortable place to curl up. If Cody managed to adopt this one, General Kenobi would stand no chance at ever running away from medical or losing his lightsaber in battle again. The large, sad eyes pleading with him would be his downfall. Boil made a note to tell Cody all about this one.
“It’s alright, 2467,” Waxer soothed and kark, the kid even had Rex’s and Cody’s numbers combined into his. “While it’s always a bad idea to go into a dangerous situation unarmed, the General had a few tricks up his sleeve. So, there they were, cornered by starving beasts, when General Kenobi holds up his hand, just like this.” Waxer demonstrates with arms raised in a decent imitation of the General when he was doing his Force magic stuff.
“What happened then? What happened to Commander Cody and General Kenobi?” a Little from the pile at Waxer’s knees piped up.
“With the power of his mind,” Waxer said, “he spoke to the monsters and lured them away from Commander Cody and the rest of Ghost Company. He led them deep into an alley, where there was only one exit. And then he ordered Ghost to shoot at the walkways above him.”
“NO!” 2467 shouted again. “He can’t do that! The General’s supposed to be safe!”
Kriff it, Boil was going to help Cody sneak the whole squad onto the Negotiator, so he could adopt this one. After all, they would never split up a batch.
“Commander Cody was worried, but it all turned out okay. The General used the Force to leap high over the new blockade Ghost Company created, and he landed safely outside by Commander Cody, while the monsters were stuck. And of course, Commander Cody handed the General his lightsaber and they went on to save Nabat. The villagers were all safe and could move back into their homes without worrying about those awful clankers taking over their homes.” “Wow!” one of the Littles in Boil’s lap whispered.
“I’m gonna be just like Commander Cody when I grow big and strong!” another said, leaping up to demonstrate various kicks and punches. They weren’t very coordinated yet, and it was absolutely adorable to watch.
“You better keep practicing, vod’ika,” Rex called from the doorway. “Someday, you’ll be just as good as Cody. I know it.”
He slumped against the nearest pod and began taking off his armor. Ahsoka slunk into the room behind him, and as soon as the top half of his armor was off, she attached herself to his back. Her thin arms wrapped around his waist, and her face was pressed tightly in between his shoulder blades. Boil would be willing to bet all the credits he never earned that she’d likely been crying as soon as she got away from the Generals. But here among vod’e, she was safe to express all the awful emotions she had pent up in her heart. Boil had learned over the course of the war that Jedi struggled with all the death far more than any vod. They felt each death as if it were their own unless they shielded themselves so completely from the Force that it rendered them entirely useless. To feel the lives of children slip away? Boil couldn’t imagine.
“Captain Rex, sir!” the Littles all shouted, and they tried to detangle themselves to salute, but Rex immediately waved them back down.
“At ease, cadets. Do you mind if we join you? Commander Cody should also be coming soon.”
“Really?” The enormous eyes were filled with hope and disbelief that one of the greatest soldiers in the GAR would be coming to visit them.
“Yes, really,” Boil answered. “I invited him. I hope you don’t mind?”
Immediately, the little cadets were all wriggling around in excitement, talking loudly over one another about how cool and heroic Marshal Commander Cody was. It was karking adorable.
Boil slid into the newly freed space and wrapped an arm around Waxer. Immediately, he felt him relax into his hold, some of the tension draining from his shoulders. Rex plopped down against a wall, and immediately pulled Ahsoka into his lap, cradling her tightly against his chest. She went almost desperately, needing the grounding contact of one of her adopted dads. Boil knew that as soon as Cody arrived, she would somehow manage to wrap herself around both of them. They’d probably end up buried beneath a pile of vod’ikase, but Boil sincerely doubted any of them would mind in the slightest. He might not have the Force, but he could feel himself relaxing in the presence of such innocence and enthusiasm. Waxer had made an excellent choice to come here. Boil was glad that he had followed.
He would always follow Waxer. Whether it was on the battlefield or to a hoard of Littles that needed the comforting presence of their ori’vode, he would walk right beside him. Waxer was special. Boil didn’t quite know the name of what he felt for Waxer, but he knew that it was enough to just be near him. To press against each other tightly at night, and to shake apart together. To be together for the rest of their lives.
It was enough.
(Cody nearly managed to sneak the entire squad onto the Negotiator undetected, but at the last minute, General Kenobi caught him. And then proceeded to help them set up a nursery perfect for the 212th’s newest squad of cadets. No one could ever say their General didn’t have a bleeding heart, nor a soft spot for children. And just as Boil had predicted, Cody adopted 2467 and helped pick out the name Dara. They would be eternal, no matter what happened during the war.)
#clone/clone#clone shipping#boxer#boil/waxer#waxer/boil#clone trooper waxer#clone trooper boil#commander cody#captain rex#ahsoka tano#clone cadets#clone haven sotm
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
An actual break | Gojou Satoru
Category: fluff
2.6k words; Beach date [4/6]
← Previous chapter | Masterlist
You haven’t been to the beach in months. So a car trip for hours, where you can blank out and peer out of the window to enjoy the wonderful and ever-changing scenery is amazing. Dipping your feet in the water or eating from food vendors or enjoying the warm summer sun on your skin. Perhaps getting a tan if the weather is perfect. This would all be perfectly enjoyable and possible.
If it wasn’t for work.
“[Surname]-san, why are you coming with us? You said you can’t fight.” Itadori calls from the backseat, nestled not-so-comfortably between Fushiguro and Kugisaki.
Wouldn’t it be better if Kugisaki is in the middle since she’s the smallest and the skinniest? The thought drifts into your head but you soon understand why. As soon as the words leave his mouth it’s met with a firm and resounding slap on the arm. Itadori’s yelp of pain is silenced under her hiss of “God, you’re so tactless! Now move over, it’s getting cramped with all of the bags.” Ah, she didn’t want to sit in the middle. And what bags? I didn’t bring any.
They keep their banter up and a quick glance to both Gojou and Fushiguro indicates that they have no intention of stopping it. Gojou is actually humming through the bickering. Why do I have to be the adult? He’s like, 5 years older than me. That’s literally what he said as the reason to drive instead of you.
“It’s fine, Kugisaki-san. I’m coming along because there’s been a lot of cursed spirit activity around here and I need to see if something abnormal is happening. I’m not going to get in the way of the fight so you don’t need to worry.” You send Itadori a smile through the back mirror which he responds with a quick nod, then a confused look.
“Isn’t that Gojou-sensei’s responsibilities?” The mentioned adult laughs and smoothly makes a right turn. You want to slap him.
“Normally, yes, but he insists on being insufferable.” You turn to face them, leaning onto the seat with a scowl. “The report he made was nearly illegible and last time something like this happened, and I had to sit down with him for 3 hours to complete it. Even then, he was going off topic half the time and trying to distract me. Itadori-kun, Kugisaki-san, listen to me. If he doesn’t do his work, you have to practically force him.”
“Doesn’t work.” Fushiguro comments while looking out the window. Gojou has the audacity to laugh again.
“We had a great time! You were laughing your head off by the time we were done.” A light tug on your shirt makes you sit back properly. The scowl stays in place.
“I missed dinner! And I missed the last episode of Haikyuu thanks to that!”
“Fine, fine. I’ll take it up by buying you dinner, okay?” He must be kidding if that makes up for missing your favourite anime. Kuroo came and went thanks to him. The car comes to an abrupt stop just as you’re about to complain again. “We have arrived!”
Salt wafts in the air as the sea twinkles underneath the afternoon sun. It’s hot today, and humid enough to make your clothes stick to your skin, which is gross. Sunny and warm means a swim will be ideal, but you have to take care of the whole recurring curses thing first. Previous reports have said that they were all mid-level, so hopefully Gojou’s students won’t have that much of a problem taking care of them. That also means they, including you as well, might have the opportunity to relax for the rest of the day.
The actual spot is somewhere in the nearby forest, filled thick with trees and so large that even if someone went missing it would take ages to search. An ideal hunting place since a lot of people visit there. Numbers dropped quite a bit after the fifth person “went missing”.
The first task is to cover the place with a curtain. Since the place is so large and not encompassing the entire place was deemed too risky, large amounts of cursed energy is required. Hence Gojou’s efforts right now.
“[Name]-san.” Kugisaki calls you. “Are you coming in with us?” Her voice is tentative, like she doesn’t want to offend you. It’s kind of funny because she shows more respect for you than her actual teacher for some reason. Gojou complained about it before. She doesn’t know the extent, or more accurately the lack of, your powers and has a right to be worried. All she knows is that you can’t fight.
“Ah, I am coming in, but I’ll stay far away from the fight. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“And I’ll be right by her side!” Gojou snaps into thin air, linking his arm with yours. “Your personal bodyguard! But I’m sure you guys can handle this one.” Still humming a tune, he sends them along their way with a reassuring smile. You smile at Kugisaki and wish her good luck. Shooting Gojou a suspicious glare, she runs ahead to the two boys and starts whispering. They look back at the two of you and get into what seems to be an argument. A bad thing to do right before a possibly life-threatening mission.
You watch the group disappear deeper into the woods, fear gripping at your heart. This is actually the first time in the field after years of being tucked away in an office. Ken-chan specifically requested it due to your unique cursed energy situation. Apparently that was the first time he asked for a favour to the principle and he never asked for anything again. They can handle themselves, you’re sure, but Itadori already had a close call.
“Worried?” Gojou, on the other hand, sounds like he has no concerns in the world. Maybe that’s a testament to how much he trusts his students. It doesn’t alleviate your agitation. “It’s fine, we can just take a break here and if trouble comes, they can take care of it themselves.” You stare at him incredulously. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I’ll step in if something goes wrong. You’re all in safe hands.”
There is no one better than him in terms of fighting with cursed energy. How on earth someone like this gets imbued with endless power, you’ll never know. Sighing, you take a seat on a fallen log. The moss on them tickles your fingers. It feels nice, something to distract you from your brain being its usual bastard and thinking the worst case scenario. Gojou plops himself down right next to you.
“We can go see them if you’re that worried, mother hen.” Nudging his leg shuts him up. Closing your eyes, you concentrate on reaching out for their cursed energy. Eight signals flicker from where they went, three blazing stronger than the others. One of them is nearly blinding. Sukuna is on a completely different level. If there’s that much of a difference in energy, they’ll finish soon and come back to have fun for the rest of the day. God knows they need it.
Your eyes flit open and come face to face with Gojou’s blindfold. It causes you to fall backwards and you brace for impact with a little yelp. But Gojou’s arm surrounds your abdomen, lifting you into the air and onto your feet. Heartbeats thud in your ears thanks to the sudden adrenaline boost.
“Did I scare you?” His laugh is cheeky. “I’m bored… Wanna play 20 questions?” As usual, his train of thought is impossible to even attempt to follow. A window of hundreds of tabs wrestling to be the first all the time is probably what the inside of his mind looks like.
“Sure, why not.”
Fushiguro, Itadori and Kugisaki all perk up when they receive the news of a day off to enjoy the beach. Since it’s closed off to the civilians, it’ll be like a private party. Something to keep their mind off of another mission that’s bound to come soon.
While they run off to the beach, you go to talk to the park rangers for the paperwork. Gojou asks if you want company but someone needs to supervise the children. The process takes barely 10 minutes anyway.
When you come back to the beach, the trio is screaming in the sea while trying to fight each other. Even Fushiguro is laughing. Childlike innocence is beautiful and long overdue. Two huge parasols and towels are laid out nearby where they’re playing. Gojou is out of his usual attire and in a swimming trunk. His blindfold is still on. Is this what was in the bags?
Now that you look more closely at the students, they’re all in swimwear as well. Looks like you’re the only one that didn’t get a memo.
“Heya! Done?”
“No thanks to you, Mr The-Whole-Reason-I’m-Here-In-The-First-Place.” He laughs at the nickname.
“You should change.”
“I didn’t bring a swimsuit. Nobody told me and I was just thinking of dipping my feet.”
“Nobara brought you one. It’s in the bag labelled ‘If you look inside I’m going to kill you.’” Laughter comes out at the absurdity.
“Why did Kugisaki—”
“Because she wants you to relax. Now come on! Let’s have fun!” he pushes you excitedly towards the car. It’s really weird how someone your senior has more energy than you and his three students combined. Sighing, you trek back and find the bag. It really is labelled that, in caps. Kugisaki is a good kid.
There’s a bathroom nearby for you to change in. The wind is still pretty strong when you walk out but you’re saved thanks to the school jacket. There’s also a pair of flip-flops. Ken-chan must have helped since they all fit perfectly.
Itadori is being half-drowned when you come back. Fushiguro and Kugisaki are merciless when it comes to fighting. Gojou smiles as you walk into his line of sight. Scooting over to let you into the shade, he lies back onto the towel and stretches his legs out into the sun with a slight groan. You stay sitting up, watching the three children absentmindedly.
Sunlight tickles your feet. The sea breeze stops it from being too hot but it’s slowly getting stuffier under the jacket. Quickly discarding it, Gojou catches your eyes while you fold it up.
It’s impossible to tell if he’s awake or sleeping thanks to his signature blindfold, but this is the most relaxed you’ve seen him in years; hands folded behind his head and muscles completely loose. Small scars dot his body, probably gained from fights which he deemed insignificant enough to bother Shouko with or heal himself. In a way, it’s a reminder for all the battles he’s survived. Pretty easily too, you’re guessing. There’s a deep one on his stomach and your hand moves towards it for some reason.
Long fingers intercept your hand just before it touches the scratched skin, entwining themselves to you. One end of Gojou’s lips quirks up.
“I’m going to be embarrassed if you keep looking at my body, you know.” You immediately attempt to rip your hand back but he’s got you locked tight. He’s not even using Infinity. Heat threatens to explode your face because he’s been awake all this time and you’re going to die from shame. “If you wanted to touch me then you could have just asked.” Your fingers graze against the skin on his stomach for a split second but he loosens his grip and you will be damned if you don’t take that chance.
Gojou cackles, enjoying your flustered state, and he’s halfway to suffocation because he’s laughing too much. His instincts still allow him to move out of the way for your punch. Doesn’t stop him from laughing though. Even his students, who were screaming and playing like they didn’t have a care in the world, are looking at the two of you. God, where’s a hole for me to die in right now?
Eventually, his laughter dies off. He’s still chuckling though. His teeth glint in the light as he gives you a wide smile. A sense of foreboding washes over you.
“Up we go!”
“What?” Two arms hook under your knees and back, lifting you effortlessly into the air. Your body bounces in his arms every time he takes a step closer to the sea.
“Wait Gojou, wait wait wait wait!”
“Gojou-sensei wai—”
The water is freezing.
“Gojou Satoru, I’m going to kill you!”
“That’s admirable! I’m sure you can do it!” Fushiguro snickers as you swipe an arm at Gojou, who moves away effortlessly again. Hair is plastered to your face and this rage is not going to subside unless you rip the blindfold off his smirking face and dunk his head into the water. But he keeps dodging you, just barely, as if to taunt you further.
Exhaustion sets in quickly since moving around in water is a lot harder and anger eats away at your stamina. Just as you’re about to give up, Gojou’s face is slapped with a wave of water. Everyone looks to Kugisaki. She has the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.
“Pfft.” Fushiguro’s laughter breaks the silence. Itadori snickers at Gojou’s drooping hair. Soon everyone’s laughing. Then Gojou whips water that hits all three of them straight in the chest with a resounding smack. They immediately retaliate with a wave that you get caught up in.
It somehow turns into a students vs adults fight. Delighted laughter echoes in the air as everyone yells and shrieks when assaulted with icy water. There’s an unspoken rule to not use cursed energy, which is why your side is being pushed back. There’s no beating three excited kids when they’re on a holiday high.
Backtracking a bit to get away from the constant surges of water, you don’t realise you’re going deeper and deeper into the sea. A rock shifts underneath your feet and you’re plunged into the cold grips of the sea, not even given enough time to call for help. Panic overtakes your senses as you squeeze your eyes shut, hands scrambling for something to hold onto.
“[Name]!” Warmth engulfs you as Gojou lifts you out of the murky depth, worry and dread weaved into his voice. You blink rapidly as he gently brushes the hair off your face, and you see his eyes without the blindfolds for the first time. “Look at me, are you alright?”
They’re… indescribably beautiful. It’s the purest and translucent blue you’ve seen in your life, able to beat the colour of the ocean or the sky on its clearest days. It could compete with even the most exquisite sapphire locked up in a vault underground. And they’re clouded with concern and fear because of you.
“[Surname]-san!” Bringing yourself up by hugging Gojou’s neck, you see the trio wading through the water to you, dread clear on their faces. Itadori reaches you and rapidly asks if you’re fine and that he can’t possibly describe how sorry he is. It looks like he’ll dig his head into the ocean floor if you ask him to do it. Like he’s waiting for you to reprimand him.
But all that comes out is laughter, bright and childlike. They all look at you like you’re crazy. You have no idea why you’re laughing either. Maybe you’ve finally gone insane.
But being in Gojou’s arms, seeing his and Itadori’s face relax, brings you so much happiness. Tightening your arms around Gojou’s neck, you rest your head on top of his as he calms them down.
Maybe it’s the adrenaline from nearly drowning, maybe it’s something else, but your heart thumps rapidly into your ribcage, probably loud enough for him to feel.
Next chapter →
#gojou x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojou imagine#gojou satoru imagine#gojo x reader#gojo imagine#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru imagine#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojou#gojou satoru#fluff#series#female reader
278 notes
·
View notes
Text
Strike! (Jaehyun x reader)
a/n : okaay soo this was almost from a real story :)) i twisted and improvised something that happened to me :p not important though, but please enjoy this scenario!
warning : none, i think this is save for everyone.. except if you have bad memories with bowling...
characters : you, Jae, and his friends (Yu,Tae,Johnny)
tagging @yutahoes (since she knew what happened) and @neopalette anyone else wants to be tagged in my works tell me :)
enjoy!!
Spring is happening, the flowers are blooming, and the sun has been staying up longer! Everyone’s toasting under the heat and hoping that summer can just come now. You personally enjoy the heat rather than shivering in the cold winter wind. It’s just that you don’t really have anyone to enjoy this beautiful weather with. Just like any other day, you got down from your room to look for dinner. The sun is still up and you choose to just use one of your jacket and plop into your shoes before locking the door and walking nicely to look for food.
You turn on your earphone, playing on some light music so you feel less lonely. It’s just that you have friends but today you don’t feel like eating with them. You’ve been to two classes today and worked on some homework, you noticed it’s time for a “me time”. So, with the sun shining warmly and you enjoying your afternoon walk you smile when you notice how many couples are walking around the campus.
You’re jealous, you wont lie. Come on, who’s not jealous to see cute happy couples walking under the sun and with the blooming flowers things just look like a scene from a movie. You personally slow down to think of which dining hall to visit today. You choose to go to the west side and see what menu they offer.
You don’t see much student there which make you settle quickly on pasta and have them wrap it up to go. Now, with your boxed food, you walk happily to go back to your room only to pause when there’s a sport car filled with hot guys zooming through you.
You notice a lot of people have their eyes glued on the car, or maybe the guys in it. You don’t know them, but one of them seriously looks cute. You locked eyes for a second and you swore you love him at first sight.
“Woah, last time there were girls zooming around in their opened-cabriole cars and now guys too. Guess summer is really near.” You shrug your shoulder and continue to walk.
You pass by the car again but this time it is parked and the four guys are just chilling around their cars. Sipping on some cold energy drinks while giggling and tossing light smiles to the people passing by.
“Who are you looking at young boy?” The man behind the wheels earlier nudges the boy who has his eyes glued on you.
“Um no one-“ he stammers before turning away to look at his feet and feeling his ears burn.
“Oh I see, some freshman I guess-“ the guy with a Japanese accent teases the younger boy.
“Where? I wanna see too!” the smallest one between the three extends his neck to look around.
Their actions bring the crowd’s attention, and you realize you should keep walking. Why were you stopping in first place?
So, without much thought you continue to walk down your road while humming to your music.
“Stop staring,” the guy who’s looking at his feet finally speaks up.
“Why Jaehyun? You’re shy?” The tallest, Johnny aka guy behind wheel, pokes his cheek.
Jaehyun turns red “Nah, I don’t know her. She just passed by and I locked eyes with her.”
“Don’t worry, if Yuta saw her he will know her name.” Taeyong puts a hand over Yuta’s shoulder “Right Yuta?” he asks to clarify his statement.
Yuta nods “If only you justified if that was the girl you’re staring, I may have her name tomorrow.” Yuta plays with his phone.
Jaehyun sighs “Come on, this school is big… there’s no way you’ll get her name.” he hugs his three friends’ shoulders and sighs “Guess that will be the first and last time I see her.”
Johnny clicks his tongue “So dramatic. Duhh, I know how to see her.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widen “How?”
Taeyong giggles “She went that way, there’s only three houses there. We can just hang around there and see her if she goes out of her building. It’s that simple Jae, don’t be so sad.” Taeyong pats his shoulder and jumps into the car.
“Come on, we have a bowling match tomorrow might want to practice a little bit before the game.” Taeyong calls his other friends into the car and once they’re all in, Johnny hits the road again with high speed to show off his car and the guys inside.
--
You finish your dinner and clean up your room already. In an hour or two, you’ll wrap up your task and readings then maybe take a rest because tomorrow is a big day. You got more classes to suffer and some dance class to attend.
Your mind flashes back the image of the cute guy seating in the back seat of the sports car earlier. His dimple, his carefree smile and his fluffy wind-blown hair looks perfect. Oh you really wish you can see him one more time.
He doesn’t look like he belongs in your major, man like him probably is an athlete or studies something related to business or sports.
“Come on come to your senses (y/n)! What are the odds he meet you again? Even if he sees you, he won’t notice or realize you’re there.” You try to burry your hope by reminding yourself boys like him belong to the pretty girls with long legs. Unlike you, totally you’re way out of his league.
That night you dream of a fortunate encounter with the mysterious guy and he gives you his name. Weird how you cannot remember his name at all when you wake up, but the day is running and you need to wake up and face reality. He is a prince charming and you’re no Cinderella.
--
“I told you, I can get her name by today.” Yuta proudly shows Jaehyun and the guys an Instagram profile.
“Wait whoah you really did.” Taeyong says after examining the profile picture because of the private account.
“How did you?” Jaehyun stops asking when his eyes accidentally spot you coming into the room.
“Am I seeing things or is she really here?” Jaehyun whispers to his friends and Johnny gives him a smack “Hurts? It’s real. I see her too.”
Yuta chuckles “Come on, I see her walking to this place and thought maybe she’s here this afternoon. So, I made a quick run through the participant list and look up one by one.”
“Thank you- but oh I am so fortunate to see her again.” Jaehyun is literally having his moment. If this is a drama he’d have romantic bgm and flower petals falling out of nowhere. But this is the bowling room in the campus and it’s far from romantic. Especially when the judge calls for the competitor to get ready.
“Good luck there bro, focus on the game not on the girl.” His friends tease him before leaving to sit in the spectator seat.
You tie your bowling shoes and pick out your own ball. Polishing it and feeling it with your hand before bumping into someone’s sturdy chest.
“Oh- sorry.” You mutter an apology before looking up and freezing in place when you lock eyes with the same man you’ve been dying to see again.
“You-“ he turns pink.
“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump you. Please don’t kill me.” You beg for him
He chuckles “I will not kill you, but if you want my apology…” he trails off and bends a little bit to see your face closer “Give me your name.”
You turn red now and you feel your face heat up “It’s (y/n)”
He smiles and reaches out his hand “Jaehyun, nice to meet you (y/n)” he shakes your hand and you grin. This is awkward…
“I saw you yesterday on the car. Nice car.” You whisper after both of you sit down to wait for your turns.
Jaehyun nods “Wasn’t my car sadly, but it’s my friend’s.” he points to the three guys enjoying pizza on the spectator bench. You only nod, his friends all look hot.
“So, bowling eh? Good at it?” you ask him when it’s almost his turn. Jaehyun stands up and wears his bowling glove “Good? I just pick this up as a new hobby and I join this to look for new friends.” He gets up to his lane and picks his ball before posing nicely and hits a strike.
You smirk, not bad. He has some talent.
Jaehyun returns after his turn is over and it’s yours now.
“What about you?” he asks
You sweetly smile “Watch and see,”
Jaehyhun notices how you change. Your posture is different, and your gaze definitely burns hole to the wall. He secretly has to control his heartbeat from going up when he sees you hit a strike.
You’re not a newbie, he notices that
“Great posture, accurate and precise.” Jaehyun offers a high-five and you take it.
“Well, thank you that came from years of practice. Pleasure to be your competitor tonight, I am (y/n) the school’s official bowling team leader.” You wink and Jaehyun feels his heart burst into million pieces.
How can you be so cute and so attractive at the same time? Plus what, you’re the bowling athlete team? Hot.
He sure is going to brag on you to his friends, but most importantly he’ll win your number first after the hot tight match. He’s glad Johnny forced him to sign up for this competition, and he’s glad he has the courage to talk with you.
“So, nice game and you’re really good.” Jaehyun nudges your shoulder when the game ends with you winning.
You grin “Oh yeah? Well, what do I get for winning?” you playfully tease him.
He knits his eyebrow for a while before grinning “Do you want my number? We can have lunch together or dinner someday.” He offers you his suggestion and you feel your cheek burns.
“Sure, yes I’d love that.” You gulp and type in your number to his phone.
“Okay, I’ll text you my number so you can save it.” He winks and turns his head around when his friends call him
“I got to go, do you want to go back to your dorm with us?” he offers you a ride but as much as you want to, you know not to accept rides from stranger easily.
You shake your head “I will go with them,” you point to a new group of friends living in the same building you just met earlier.
Jaehyun nods coolly “Okay, text me when you got home.” He points to your phone that lights up with a message from him.
You smile and wave your hand as you walk to the other friends “Bye Jaehyun! It was nice meeting you.”
Turns out yesterday was not the first and last time he sees you.
end
#multifandomnet#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun imagines#jaehyun oneshot#nct oneshot#nct fluff#nct flirt line#jaehyun fanfic#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun college au#nct college au#nct x reader#jung jaehyun#jung jaehyun x you
96 notes
·
View notes
Text
Petrichor Chapter 5: Reminiscing
I didn’t forget about that master list. Just been busy. Hoping to have it done Friday!
Chapter 5: Reminiscing
Note: Okay, so this is kind of funny but kind of not at the same time. I went to upload the chapter today, and I realized that I had forgotten to upload the chapter on Wednesday of last week 6/29. This is Wednesday's chapter. In the chapter notes for the chapter on Wednesday, I had left a note mentioning that Friday was my mother's birthday (7/1) so I wouldn't be uploading. But because I forgot to upload this chapter on Wednesday, you guys have just been sitting here for a week probably wondering if I'm dead or not Or if I had given up on writing the story. I'M SO SORRY!!!! I'm just fine! I'm just very forgetful! I hope this chapter makes up for it a little, but I will have a chapter on Friday and we're still continuing forward! This is in fact the 3 year anniversary of the saga now, which is crazy to even think about, so I wanted to thank you all for being here with me! Sorry again for any confusion or worry I caused! My bad!
(-~-)
The room was cool and full of dim light, the curtains pulled shut to block the majority of it so as to not disturb those sleeping within the room. An unused radiator adorned one of the nearby walls, pristine in condition but otherwise unnecessary at the moment. A building of this age almost certainly lacked double paint glass, and as such, the insulation being as good as it was had to be down to some sort of sorcery. It was just after noon now, but a combination of winter weather and an overcast sky meant that it still looked considerably earlier than that, closer to 8:00 a.m. or so.
Leaned against the wall with his eyes closed was Dante, not even slightly asleep, but simply quietly taking in the ambiance of the room he inhabited. The quiet sound of breathing and his brother laying still and undisturbed. He had physically recovered from his injuries by this point, but he seemed to insist upon not waking up. Perhaps there was something internal that prohibited it? Or perhaps his body had simply decided that he needed time to recover the energy he had spent on the task.
It was understandable. Even someone like him only had so much that they could give.
During the quiet time that he'd been allotted since the fight, he had spent a considerable amount of time going over everything that had happened recently in his mind. Things had gone so bad so fast that it was horrifying. In the blink of an eye, they had all almost lost their lives, and if not for some quick thinking, it was very possible that none of them would be here right now. His brother had been willing to lay down his life to protect his sons, much as any of them had been willing to lay down their lives for one another. There was no surprise there as far as he was concerned. Vergil was a lot of things, but a coward who was willing to let those loyal to him die so that he could achieve victory was not one of them. It was something that, in theory, didn't need to be said, but when he had watched his older twin actually jump in front of a blade to his almost certain death to try and save him from an impossibly powerful appointment, that had been a completely different story. Truly a wake-up call in the worst possible way.
Vergil was willing to die for him. Without hesitation. And that was something he struggled to fully process. It made sense in principle. They were identical twins. Brothers. Two pieces dyed different hues but cut from the very same cloth. No one had the privilege of harming them but the other, and despite their often ceaseless bickering and brawling, they would fight side by side without a second thought at least than a moment's notice. It was a relationship of contradictions, and they didn't know how to have it any other way.
And at this point, so long as they were cordial, he wasn't sure that they should try and change it. After all, things between them had been relatively positive since they had returned from the underworld a few months back. They had gone through their momentary spats, but Vergil had only stabbed him once in the few months he had been here, so that was genuine progress. And above all else, it showed that his brother had the capacity for restraint and to change his behaviors. To learn from his mistakes. He had not completely lost the capacity to give a shit, and Dante would be lying to say he wasn't excited about that prospect. And he was more than willing to help him continue down that road… But first, he had to wake up. And Dante was going to stay here as long as it took for him to do that. He refused to not be here when he opened his eyes again, and he knew that at some point he would. His older brother had been through war and literal hell, and although the wounds he had suffered at the hands of the devil Prince were egregious indeed, they would not stop him. He had been through far worse, unfortunately. He just had to come kicking out the gate this one last time.
"No rush or anything, but everybody's waiting for you. I know you don't like to be late." Dante thought to himself, cracking his eyes slightly as he felt the morning sun on the top of his forehead. The windows were pitched at a certain angle on this part of the building, and they were higher up the wall than most of the rest of the building, perhaps to not disturb those sleeping within. He was willing to bet that this wing of the manor had been built specifically for this purpose. It was times like this that he wondered just how old the place was and how long the Ludwig family had been presiding over it. Had they built it in the first place? Questions for another time, and products of an idle mind with nothing better to think about. There was a certain finality to the situation he found himself in right now, so it was natural that he would send his mind down other avenues of thought. That he would focus on things that he could actually ask questions and get answers on.
Just a few moments later, a soft knock came from the other side of the door. Dante turned his head slightly to face the door, nodding as a familiar face stuck her head through the door and quietly mouthed a request to enter. Magnolia stepped through the doorway, brushing her hair out of her face with her elbow as she let out a soft yawn. She blinked slowly and heavily as her eyes drifted over to her long-time friend, unmoved from his previous position since she had last seen him. She's been there a little while ago to inform him that V and Nero had gone somewhere temporarily and would return later. She shook her head slightly and made her way over towards Dante with the tray of food she was carrying, seemingly aware of the fact that he had no intentions of leaving or even moving from this room unless he needed to. She wasn't going to argue that position or even ask why he would do such a thing. It was quite obvious, after all. But she was, however, going to make sure that he actually ate something today. She didn't need two sick twins in the house.
"I thought that you might be hungry and perhaps desire some company. Both of those assumptions remain merely that, but perhaps I was at least somewhat on the right path?" She said softly as she approached, sitting the trade down on the table next to Dante, he's over at the food, his nose catching no particular smell, but his stomach reacting nonetheless. He hadn't thought about food for at least 2 days. She might have a point there.
"... Yeah, why not? I got some questions you might be able to answer anyway, and you probably have some, too, hu?" He said with a shrug as he extended his arms over his head and stretched, his back making a loud pop as he gritted his teeth and winced slightly, unprepared for that reaction from his stiff body. He was getting old, wasn't he? It was something that he had been teasing Vergil about for some time now, but the more he thought about it himself, the more he wondered how they were actually going to age. In ways, Dante felt younger than he ever had, and in others, he felt considerably older. Did the demonic part of him age slower than the human body that he found himself inhabiting? Did his demonic blood strengthen his body beyond just raw power? Did it improve his longevity? It seemed as though it did, but would the two parts of his soul ever reach equilibrium at some point or another? Had they reached that equilibrium already and he just hadn't noticed? Was that something he would even be able to measure in any quantifiable way? More nebulous questions that would only send him down a spiraling path of existential dread. This wasn't the time to face his own mortality.
"That's fair. I have nothing better to do at the moment anyway, especially this early in the morning. And it occurred to me that we've never really just talked." She said with a soft smile, cluing into some sort of turmoil going on within him that she couldn't pinpoint. She had plenty of assumptions to work off of, but nothing concrete. There was too much going on there. "I was going to ask you if there had been any change with him, but I don't think I need to. It's evident that there hasn't been. And that's a good and a bad thing, I suppose. But I guess we take our hope where we can get it these days, don't we?"
With a sigh, Dante nodded in agreement. She was right on the money with that one. It was bad that nothing had changed in the sense that he had not woken up yet, but it was better than him declining by a country mile. That was the last thing he wanted to see happen. They had just gotten on the topic, but perhaps it was time to change it?
"You've got that right." He cleared his throat slightly as he continued to think, a question popping into his head that he thought might make a good segue into another topic since it was both a genuine question and something that didn't entirely relate to this. "So I've got to ask… What made you decide to befriend my cranky, cold, and generally completely disagreeable twin? Because I can't see why anybody would choose to be friends with him based on the way he was back then. Or maybe he wasn't always like that? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how he has two kids. Honestly, I don't know why anybody would want to talk to either one of us when we were teenagers. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my own problems that I needed to work on back then… "
Laughing at his self-evaluation, Magnolia picked up a cup of tea from the tray she brought into the room. She cleared her throat for a moment before taking a sip, swallowing it as she shook her head. She seemed to be struggling to get it down without laughing, holding her hand over her mouth as she lowered the cup so as to not accidentally spit out her drink. It had been a bad idea to try and take a sip before she had calmed all the way down, and on top of that, she was about to burn her mouth.
"A fair question! And one that I didn't expect you to ask me but it probably should have." She cleared her throat again before inhaling deeply and then exhaling, closing her eyes as she settled back into her previous state of calm. She then shook her head slowly as she turned to face Dante again, a very faint blush on her cheeks that he hadn't expected to be there. "I most certainly didn't think I could fix him, if that's what you're wondering. My actual reasons were far more embarrassing If not a bit more complex, at least at the time."
"What, did you have a super obvious crush on him or something?" Dante said with a low chuckle, his mind altogether rejecting the possibility of that even being the case. Magnolia was far too intelligent and bright to ever fall for someone as moody and emotionally unavailable as his older brother, even if it had been for something as silly as a hormone-fueled teenage crush. But as he looked at the increasingly reddening look on her face, he stopped chuckling and his eyes wide and slightly as his pupils dilated. There was no way… was he actually on to something?! "... You're kidding me. Why?!"
Sign deeply, Magnolia rubbed the side of her neck in embarrassment, obviously having a hard time explaining herself. Perhaps she should just say exactly what was on her mind? "... Well for starters, after I got over the fact that he had broken into our house and that I had almost killed him the first time we had met and got to know him a bit, I found him incredibly attractive. I would be lying to say that I still don't. It's a large part of the reason I'm probably still single now. I believe he may have set my standards too high too young and as such I was never able to overcome them."
It was Dante's turn to laugh at her statement. She was doing so as well, but he hoped that he didn't come off as passive-aggressively rude as he thought he might be. This was all something of a surprise to him, but now that he thought about it, that did make a bit of sense. As hard of a time as he gave his brother for most things, he knew that he would be lying completely if he was to say that he found Vergil completely unattractive. That would be self-sabotage. They might have both picked on one another for their looks over the years, but it was mostly in good fun more than anything else. Even still, Magnolia's revelation was somewhat hilarious to him.
"So you're telling me that you thought my brother was so attractive that he ruined all future dating prospects for you? I mean, he's not that attractive is he? And wait, if we're identical twins then does that mean-"
At that point, she broke down into hysterical laughter, holding her hand up to stop him and finish saying anything further. She was going to rupture her lung if she kept going like this. She simply hadn't been ready for him to segue into that topic. How on earth had she gotten herself into this mess?!
"Perhaps I should clarify. I don't simply mean that I find him visually attractive. Although I do. I would be lying to say I don't. That is absolutely the case. In fact, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I probably find him more attractive now than I did then. He is aged remarkably well. Like Chardonnay." She grumbled to herself under her breath, folding her arms around her chest and shaking her head. Her entire face was red now, but she was forcing herself to resist the urge to hide her entire head in her shirt or bury her face in her hands. She was not an ostrich. This hadn't been how she had expected her morning to go. And yet, she couldn't say that she was upset about it. This was the funniest conversation she'd had in quite a while, And I was actually somewhat of a relief to talk to somebody about it, even if that person happened to be the identical twin of the person in question which did complicate things. "And yes, that does mean that by extension I do find you quite cute in your own regard, but despite the fact that your twins you do have a different style that makes you individually appealing. Though I suppose you may have better luck with one of my sisters… I believe one of them fancies you. It's… I suppose it's a bit more difficult to explain what it was that I saw on your brother specifically and what, to some extent, I still do."
Dante blinked away his confusion, taking note of the change in her tone. She was being entirely serious now, and as such, he found it patently inappropriate to continue laughing about it. Now he was genuinely curious as to what she meant when she said that it was difficult to explain. There was some depth to this, wasn't there? Quite a bit of it, it seemed.
"Setting aside the fact that I think I know which sister you might be talking about… do you think you could explain? Because I think you might have known a side of my brother that I never have." Dante glanced over at his older twin, detecting no indication that he could hear or understand them. His breathing hadn't changed and neither had his demeanor. He wondered if he was suffering for a moment, but none of his displayed vital signs indicated that that might be the case. Still, he hoped he wasn't. He'd been through enough as it was for one lifetime. "We didn't talk for years growing up. After what happened with our parents, specifically our mother's death… We went our separate ways. I didn't see Vergil for about 10 years, and his whole life happened between that gap. And then we clashed for about a year on and off until he stayed behind in the underworld and I'm only now getting to know him again. I only met him once between that time and… well you would have to ask him about that. I can't tell you. Not my place to, I guess. But he probably won't talk about it. It's painful for him whether he wants to admit it or not."
A look of visible sympathy spread across her face as she reached her hand out and placed it on Dante's shoulder, hoping that he wouldn't mind. He didn't flinch away from her like she would have expected his brother to, but he did look just as surprised in his own way. He let out a heavy sigh, glancing back over at Vergil again. She could feel how much he wanted his older twin to be okay. And she felt nothing but sympathy for him in that regard. She couldn't imagine what it was like to be a twin and to see your twin in such a state, worrying that he may not survive. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to elaborate after all. Well, at least not as bad as it was for him to not know.
"... Vergil has a certain sort of deeply sarcastic likeability once he lets his garden down. A sort of uniquely bitter somber humor that is actually genuinely enjoyable If you understand it, even if it does indicate that it comes from a place of deep pain that he is still working through. And he can be deeply passionate and inspiring even if it is at the cost of any semblance of a personality outside of his pre-established goals from time to time. His single-mindedness is one of his greatest strengths and weaknesses simultaneously. He possessed a deep drive to achieve his goals and a focus that I could only envy. Or at least he used to." A look of sadness overtook her face as she looked over at him, clearly seeing something that he did not. From what he understood, they had spent a few years in direct contact with one another, so she had probably seen a metamorphosis of sorts occur. He wondered what that had been like. He wished they had talked more and that things have been different in retrospect. He still kicked himself a lifetime later for some of the things he said and did back at the tower, especially after their reunion on Malet island. "I still see glimmers of it from time to time, but more than anything I can see the damage that was done to him over the years. It's incalculable. There's something that's missing from his eyes that used to be there. A light that they used to have. I can see the fire and the spark that he lost. And I know from what you and your companions have said that he has been through hell, though I don't know the specifics and I'm not sure that I ever want to. But I do know that it must have been terrible to strip down the sense of pride and self that he once possessed. And at times it breaks my heart to look at him. He is still finding a sense of purpose now. A new one. And I think a large part of that comes from Nero and V and his desire to protect them and be better for their sake, but I don't know if he possesses the desire to do anything for himself simply for his own satisfaction anymore. Perhaps he gains satisfaction from seeing them happy? But more than anything, I can see somebody that needs someone… and I'm glad he has you, Dante. For better or for worse. I'm glad that he has all of you… But especially you."
She wiped her face with her hand as her chest shifted slightly, it becoming more and more obvious that she was attempting to compose herself and failing at that endeavor to a degree. It wasn't so much that she was afraid to cry in front of Dante. It was mostly that she just didn't have it in her to start down that path right now. Sometimes when you started, it was hard to dig yourself back up, and it could drag you down for a while. But it was even harder to know when you should just let go and allow yourself the time that you needed. The obvious answer was moderation, but learning the patterns to that moderation was an entirely different skill that took a lifetime to learn, and she couldn't say that she was there quite yet.
The youngest son of the Dark Knight Sparda watched her quietly for a moment, tentatively patting her on the shoulder. He wasn't sure that he should hug her. That might be overstepping, and it wasn't something he was sure either of them would be comfortable with. It did make him wish that V and Nero were back from wherever they had gone earlier. He was willing to bet that they would be better at comforting her, especially V. They just seemed to mesh well.
"... Thank you. Now I feel bad I laughed at what you were saying earlier."
She shook her head and shrugged, gesturing with her head towards him as she wiped her damp hand on her pants. It was a good thing she didn't bother to wear makeup or else they would probably be a mess. "Oh, don't worry about it. It does seem kind of ridiculous in a way. And besides, I got plenty of fun poked at me about it from my sisters and cousins when I was younger. I wasn't very good at hiding it from anyone but him, apparently. I probably wasn't even good at hiding it from him. He was just kind of lost in his own world. Always has been since I've known him. But I was never officially falling head over heels for him in the first place, so perhaps that contributed to it."
Dante shrugged but nodded in agreement. That made sense. It was highly probable, in fact. But as the two of them sat there and took in the conversation they had just had, something out of the corner of both their eyes caught their attention. A slight shift in the covers.
Vergil had just moved.
And as they both seem to be visibly taken aback by this, the sound of two familiar voices could be heard coming down the hall. It was Nero and V. It seemed that despite their decision to leave earlier, they had arrived with perfect timing nonetheless. Fortunate indeed. It wasn't as though he could go and get them. After all, he had no idea where they were, and the last person on Earth that Yamato was going to answer to was him.
Dante shook his head and leaned over closer to his brother, a mixture of disbelief and relief in his eyes. "Welcome back, Vergil. Looks like you overslept."
(-~-)
Well, this chapter was a roller coaster of emotions! I'm excited about the next chapter! I have some fun stuff planned for you guys! I hope you've all been having a good week. It's been rough for a lot of us. Well, actually all of us in one way or another. I hope that just like during the pandemic my little silly story can give you all some hope, because I know it's rough out there right now we're all a little short on it these days. I'll be going back through and checking for mistakes again, so if you see anything blatant, let me know. My editing software doesn't catch some of the little silly things sometimes, and using voice to text doesn't help. I think my phone is getting progressively stupider lol! I'll see you all on Wednesday, and again, sorry about last week!
#Petrichor#Dante#Vergil#DMC5#DMCV#DMC#My Post Devil May Cry 5 AU#My Post Devil May Cry 5 Fan Fic#Post DMC5#Post DMCV#My Post DMC AU#My Post DMCV AU#DMC OCs#Post DMC AU#Devil May Cry#Devil May Cry V#Devil May Cry 5
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
timing
word count: 5.3k
jinhwan x reader
you have the uncanny knack of running into kim jinhwan exactly when he needs it. he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued.
a/n: support ikon on kingdom!
-
the first time you meet him, it’s at your friend’s debut stage. once upon a time, you and your friend, yerin, had been trainees together in a decently small company. but while her skills only grew over time, morphing into something fascinating and breathtaking that deserved to be shown to the world, yours had stagnated. it wasn’t for lack of effort – you had put just as many hours into dance and vocal lessons as the others – but it was, probably, for lack of passion.
at some point, you had stopped emphasizing with your fellow trainee’s heartfelt speeches on their dreams of debuting, and it was around then that you realized you weren’t meant to be an idol in the same way they were. it was alright, though, because if anyone out of the two of you deserved to debut, it was her. you’d never felt any regret after terminating your short trainee agreement with your label.
but your friendship had never ceased, and you’d kept in regular contact with yerin, as well as the other trainees set to debut in the rookie group. you often took to reminding them to eat their meals, or to take breaks in between lessons, because you’d experienced first-hand how thoroughly unchecked passions can blind a person to their obvious needs.
finally, their efforts had culminated into a debut, and you wouldn’t miss their first stage for the world. their manager, minseo (who, in a different timeline, might have been your manager as well) was kind enough to let you visit them face-to-face in their waiting room for the music program.
“nervous?” you ask, taking in yerin’s brightly-coloured romper and her bleached, curled, strands of hair. it’s such a far departure from the tracksuits and messy ponytail you’d often seen her sporting during early morning dance practices, but it somehow suits her better than anything else you’d ever seen her wear.
“excited.” she responds instead, with a frightening degree of certainty. it must be nice, you think, to have something you want so desperately and unfalteringly. but watching your best friend get to live out her dreams is almost just as nice.
you nod, feeling the corners of your lips quirk up. “have i ever told you how proud i am of you?” you say, lightheartedly, suppressing the urge to ruffle your hand over her well-styled hair.
“no, but since it’s coming from you, i know you mean it.” she says with such sincerity that you feel an unexpected surge of pride lodge itself into your chest.
you clear your throat. this won’t do. she hasn’t even performed yet and you’re already turning into a sentimental mess. “i’m going to go get myself something to drink,” you say, excusing yourself. “do you want anything?”
her eyes brighten. “ooh, can i have an orange soda?” she asks, before pausing and turning around. “wait, manager-nim, am i allowed to drink soda before a stage?”
minseo tears her eyes away from her phone and straightens up. “as long as it’s not something that will rapidly stain your teeth, it should be fine. are you thirsty? do you need me to get you something?”
you pipe up. “oh, it’s fine, i can get it. you should stay with the group, unni, you’re the manager.” then, you raise your voice and direct it towards the rest of the girls. “hey, guys, i’m getting yerin a drink from the vending machine. does anyone else want anything?”
“oh, can i have a canned coffee?” you hear one of the members – jiyoung’s – voice ask.
“me too!” hyemin’s voice adds.
“vitamin water, please!” mirae’s voice calls.
you tally the drinks up in your head. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. you hold up an ‘okay’ sign with your hand and nod. jiyoung jokingly salutes in return.
“can i pay you back?” minseo offers, pulling out a credit card that most definitely won’t work on the rickety vending machines you’d seen on your way to the waiting room.
you shake your head dismissively. “it’s just a couple of drinks, and besides, i have a ton of coins i need to get rid of. you can buy me a meal later, yeah?” you offer, and minseo nods. “at this rate, i’ll have to hire you as my assistant.” she jokes, lightheartedly, and you smile. you wouldn’t mind that at all.
you recite the list of drinks to yourself as you make it out of their waiting room and towards the vending machine. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. two ca—
thud.
the small sound shakes you out of your mantra and, instinctively, you turn towards the noise. judging by the obvious frustration radiating from the person in front of you and his relative position to the vending machine, you figure he just kicked the poor thing.
“are you alright?” you ask, tentatively, and the person in question turns to face you.
oh. it’s kim jinhwan. from ikon.
you try your hardest to suppress a smile. yerin loves ikon. she’d be so jealous to know that you ran into one of the members today, and in such an innocuous way at that.
“yes, sorry.” jinhwan offers, looking almost sheepish. “the machine stole my money, and-”
almost on cue, you hear a voice call out in the distance. “hurry up, hyung! you said it’d only take a few minutes!”
jinhwan’s expression instantly sours, and you nod in understanding. “what did you try to get, sunbaenim?” you ask politely, turning towards the machine and scanning its contents.
“just an energy drink. but i guess i’ll be fine without it.” he explains, trying a little too hard to sound lighthearted and unbothered.
you identify the drink in question and punch in its code. after feeding your coins into the machine, you watch as the suddenly functional appliance pushes the energy drink out of its row and into the bottom of the machine.
squatting, you grab the drink and hold it out. “please, take this.” you offer as you stand up, suddenly noticing how heavily the foundation under his eyes is applied. you inwardly frown. he must really need the boost. “it’s the one you wanted, right?”
he doesn’t take it, instead opting to stare at it instead. “i couldn’t, i don’t have any more change on me right now.” he says, despite eyeing the drink longingly.
“hyung! we have to go!” the voice from before calls out again, insistently. he turns towards the voice before turning back to you, conflicted. you put on what you hope is a reassuring smile before pushing the drink with a little more force into his hands. instinctively, he takes it.
“please don’t worry about it, it’s just a drink. good luck with your stage, sunbaenim!” you cheer, gently.
he looks at the drink, then looks at you, then glances behind him at what you presume to be his waiting room before looking at you again.
“jinhwan hyung!” the voice demands with an intimidating undercurrent of finality, leaving no more room to stall. you tilt your head towards it meaningfully.
“i.. thank you.” he finally says, tightly, before turning around and running away. satisfied, you turn towards the vending machine. what did your friends ask for? right, two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. you punch the drink codes in, methodically inserting all of your loose change you had been trying to get rid of for so long, and add an extra coffee in for minseo for good measure. if she’s going to make good on her dinner promise, and you know she will, she should get a little something in return.
(you would have gotten her something even if you didn't coerce her into buying you food. a part of you thrives at the feeling of taking care of others, and you dimly wonder if that means anything.)
-
the next time you meet him is yet another case of being in the right place at the right time, for lack of a better phrase.
you’d spent a good portion of your school days active as a trainee. so, when you’d eventually exited the entertainment industry, you were strikingly behind all the other students your age in the cruelly competitive system that was korea’s education system. you were planning on taking a gap year to figure out exactly what you wanted to do with the rest of your life (which was generally frowned upon, as students were expected to naturally know these things), but minseo had saved you from that fate. “since the girls have been getting a little bigger recently, i’ve been given the permission and the budget to hire an assistant manager.” she had explained through a spontaneous phone call, her voice crackling over the receiver as you shifted your cellphone to your other ear. “if i can trust anyone to care for them the way that i do, it’s you.”
“will it be okay?” you had asked, not against the proposition but not wanting to get her in trouble. “i have no managerial experience, and i’m in the same age range as the members. i don’t want the company to come off as unprofessional.”
she had reassured you that you wouldn’t be working on anything that she wouldn’t teach you to do first, and that, as long as you didn’t boast about your age, it would be fine. “i was allowed to write the hiring criteria, and if you just happen to be the perfect candidate, then so be it.” she had said, and you could almost imagine the conspiratorial wink she would have shot in your direction if you were talking face to face.
and so your reentrance to the entertainment industry had begun; except this time, you were on the other, more secluded, side of the stage. you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered being a manager before; you’ve always been the type to take care of others, and when minseo had joked about taking you on as an assistant before, a secret part of you had taken it a little too close to heart. but you had never actually expected her words to become a reality.
the job isn’t too hard to pick up. you’re assigned a lot of small yet useful tasks, like calling the salons and confirming hair appointment times, or writing the minutes for meetings about comeback concepts. sometimes, your only role for the day is simply coaxing minseo unni into stopping and taking a lunch break. you’re busy, for sure, but not yet at the juggling-octopus level of the senior manager, who is somehow able to coordinate every other task and responsibility that involves the group simultaneously and all without fail. while you just have to confirm the things she’s already set up, she has to do all the preparation work. you’ve seen her meticulously arrange and assign each member’s schedules, all the while keeping an eye on album sales and concert venues and security payroll and feedback from their vocal or dance instructors. just by looking at her essay of a to-do list that’s propped up on her desk, you understand why the company gave her the permission to hire an assistant.
the most important responsibility she had given you, however, was to be the first line of contact with the members of the group. “you know them better than i do, so i think you’d do a better job of helping them out. they’re not too fussy, so it shouldn’t be too hard to work with them? just keep an eye on the members, and check on them every now and then. of course, let me know if you need any extra help.” a very harried minseo had told you, while on hold with the videography company who, annoyingly, hadn’t confirmed what time they were coming in tomorrow to film the dance video for the group’s upcoming comeback.
“yes, of course.” you had replied, fully intending to not do just that. you were going to avoid adding any responsibilities to minseo unni’s workload at all costs.
there wasn’t much that you needed to do. occasionally, you needed to get the members drinks or snacks while they were in their waiting rooms before music show performances, or make sure that they checked in with you before they went out anywhere. to help with this, you had gotten into the habit of carrying a backpack with you at all times, fully stocked with the necessities: an assortment of the member’s favourite snacks, an epipen for hyemin’s peanut allergy tucked in a small first aid kit, extra hair elastics, pads and tampons, and various sets of phone chargers.
“you’re already, like, one of those overprepared asian mothers that carries everything in her massive purse, and you’re barely an adult.” yerin had snickered one day while you reorganized your bag in their dorm.
you had grinned, teasingly pushing her away. “it’s this overprepared asian mother that has your precious pocky at hand, so watch it.” you’d warned, shaking the snack box in the air.
“don’t shake it!” yerin had yelped, cradling the cookie sticks protectively against her chest. “you’ll break them.”
it was the last week of promotions for the group’s third mini album, and you had just finished supervising the stage hands as they finished setting up the stage. satisfied, you grab your backpack from the chair it was lounging on, thank them for their hard work, and beeline for the exit, wondering if you can run into the girls before they get called down for their pre-stage interview.
“—ust going to have to wait, we don’t have any on hand right now.” you hear a gruff sounding voice say, and subconsciously, you look towards the source of the noise.
just across the hallway from you is what appears to be a very tall manager and a very short idol, judging from the casual apparel the taller is wearing and the shiny, glittery jacket the shorter one has on. the one in the glittery jacket is clutching at his shoulder in obvious discomfort.
“how long do you think it will take?” the shorter asks, letting go of his shoulder and rolling it back, and you’d recognize that voice anywhere. yerin had recently been studying his stage habits by watching his fancams on repeat, and at this point, his voice was engraved in the back of your mind. it’s jinhwan, again. (“i can’t believe you got to meet jinhwan sunbae before i did,” yerin had pouted when you had told her about your previous encounter. “but why did you call him sunbae? he’s not technically your senior anymore.”
“so i used to be a trainee, and old habits die hard. sue me.” you had defended yourself, protectively, before making a mental note to stop doing that.)
“i’m not sure. i’m not supposed to leave the shooting site, and no one else has answered my calls yet. do you think you’ll be able to do the stage without a patch?” the manager asks.
the idol who you now recognize as jinhwan winces, and you take that as your cue to dig through your bag. after finding what you’re looking for, you take a nervous breath and walk towards the pair.
“hello,” you greet tentatively, bowing. the two of them turn to face you, and politely bow back. you don’t miss the way jinhwan’s face grimaces ever so slightly as he does so.
“i’m really sorry if i’m being invasive, but i happened to hear what was going on.” you start. at that, you offer him the pair of pain-relief patches you were clutching securely with both of your hands. “please, take these.”
the two of them pause, taking a second to read the upside-down text on the packaging. in hindsight, you probably should have held it so the text was facing them. “won’t you need them?” the manager asks, eventually looking back up at you.
you shake your head in denial, eyes wide. “no, no. i always have extras in my bag. besides, the ones my members use most often are the ankle patches, so i won’t miss these.” you explain, taking a short, meaningful glance at jinhwan’s shoulder before pushing the packages into his manager’s hands.
he takes them. “thank you,” he says, gratefully, and you smile.
“yes, of course.” you reply, taking another quick glance at jinhwan. he’s staring at you, expression carefully blank, but, upon making eye contact. he bows his head. “thank you,” he says as well, and you pause. there’s something in his tone that sounds off, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is.
you don’t have time to stand there and think about it, though, because your group is going to get called down for their interview any minute now. and while you don’t technically have to be there, minseo said that it would be a good idea for you to monitor them. “just so you can get used to your job,” she had said, and you agreed. it would be entirely selfish to back out on that now, just to stand and meaninglessly analyze a person you had no connections with.
“i … have to go now.” you begin, tentatively, ignoring the pressing feeling in the pit of your stomach thats begging you to stay and figure out what feels so wrong. “good luck on your stage, sunb- i mean! jinhwan-ssi, and i hope your shoulder feels better.”
you bow, reflexively, trying your best not to make a weird face out of embarrassment, and jinhwan bows back. “thank you, again.” he reiterates, and you turn to leave.
it’s only after you’re absolutely sure that you’re out of their line of view before you let yourself cringe. sunbae? you tried to call him sunbae? you really, really, need to get out of that habit. what kind of interaction was that?
‘but is he okay?’ a smaller, more insistent, voice in the back of your head asks, and you frown. you don’t know.
-
in between your last memorable encounter and the next one, you see him a few times. your group passes by him in a few music programs, you run into their group at a hair appointment, and a few other miscellaneous encounters as such naturally occur. but you never interact. as a manager, it’s not your job to play buddy-buddy with other idol groups, especially if they’re not even in your company. you’ve always done a very good job of staying out of the spotlight, and, as a manager, most people don’t spare you a glance. jinhwan doesn’t even look in your direction.
you’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed.
the third time you meet him is not, for once, at a music program. you’re in hapjeong-dong, meaning to visit a friend who’d recently moved into the area. but she’d last-minute changed her housewarming party time to a dinner party instead of a lunch meetup. by the time you’d got the memo, you were already halfway across seoul on the subway. since you hadn’t eaten anything yet, and you no longer had lunch plans, your first stop is at the first ramen shop you see after you exit the terminal.
“i’m afraid we’re a little full at the moment, ma’am, and the only seats available are at the counter. will that be alright?” the hostess asks, smiling warmly.
“yes, that’s great.” you say, and you let her escort you to the counter and hand you a menu. you prop up your purse and your housewarming gift on the chair next to you before taking it, thanking her.
as you’re flipping through the menu, mentally calculating how much more you’ll be able to spend this month, you hear the tinkling of the bell at the front door signalling another customer. a cursory glance around the relatively full counter area lets you know that there’s only one seat left, and you’re hogging it with your bags. you quickly take them off the only available chair and bend down to set them on the ground below your feet.
“... and here you go, sir, i’ll be back with a menu shortly.” the bubbly hostess says, smiling politely at the customer whose face you haven’t seen yet. you straighten up, taking a quick look at the hostess and the customer before turning back to look at your menu.
“yes, thank you,” the customer says, and you freeze. you must be hearing things. there is no way that you are eating lunch next to kim jinhwan in a random restaurant.
the customer sits down next to you, and you shoot another quick look at the man who is taking off his mask. who is most definitely kim jinhwan.
do you … do you say anything? idols deserve to eat in peace, so should you pretend not to recognize him? but won’t sitting in a stony, awkward silence as you eat next to each other be even worse? you contemplate burying yourself in your phone for the entire meal, before realizing that you left it in your purse. and there’s no feasible way that you can grab it without having to scoot back your chair, get off the stool to open your bag, and sit back up on it again.
unfortunately for you, he looks in your direction as you’re gaping at him, panic-struck. the resulting eye contact is unbearably awkward on your end, but he looks at you as if he’s trying to remember who you are.
“pardon me, but are you the one who … with the pain-relief patch?” he asks, gesturing slightly with his hands as he sits dodwn. it’s vague and awkward, and if he did that to anyone else they’d be very confused, but you know exactly what he means.
you blush a little. there’s nothing else you can say now. “yes, uh, i think that was me.”
“and … the vending machine?” he ventures.
your eyes widen a little at that. that was so many months ago. he still remembers? “the energy drink, right? that was also me. hello, jinhwan-ssi.” you offer, tentatively, bowing your head slightly. at this point, there’s no use pretending you don’t know his name. he bows his head in return.
“may i ask for your name?” jinhwan asks, tentatively.
“oh, ah, i’m ______.” you respond. “it’s nice to meet you, officially.”
jinhwan nods in agreement, seemingly taking in all the new information for a few seconds. after a short pause, he continues. “do you also work in the entertainment industry?” he asks, slowly.
“yes, i’m an assistant manager for kyubie, a new girlgroup at AB entertainment,” you introduce yourself. it still feels a little strange to say that title out loud. assistant manager. you’re an assistant manager.
“ah, i see.” jinhwan says, smiling a little as he processes the information, and you politely smile back. a part of you wants to help him carry this conversation out, but the other, more dominant part of you is just as socially awkward as he looks like he feels and is absolutely incapable of doing such a thing.
“you look quite young for a manager,” he offers, as an odd semblance of a compliment, and you take it in stride.
“i get that a lot! i actually used to be a trainee at AB, but i ended up becoming a manager inst!—ead …” you start, mouth running itself as it struggles to fill the awkward silence, before you register what you just said.
“i, uh, i wasn’t supposed to say that.” you mutter, loudly enough so its audible but quietly enough to express your regret.
jinhwan, for what it’s worth, only looks placidly amused. “don’t worry, i won’t say a word,” he assures you. he doesn’t ask for any more details or for an elaboration on why it would be a secret. you’re grateful for that.
“thank you,” you say, trying not to let the relief show itself too heavily in your tone. if he notices it, he doesn’t say a word.
“i should be thanking you. for the drink and for the pain-relief patches, before. i don’t think i could have done my stage without either.” he assures you, kindly. “i didn’t get to thank you properly before.”
you shake your head in denial. “no, no, don’t worry about it. i get what it’s like to always be running low on time. and you did say thank you! i didn’t feel underappreciated, or ignored, or anything like that.” you explain, letting out your first real smile since the beginning of the conversation.
(you miss the way his eyes linger on it for a beat too long.)
“i’m glad that you think that, then,” jinhwan says, faintly, as the hostess comes back with his menu that he barely even scans before ordering. you, too, order, ignoring the meaningful glances she’s throwing at the two of you. that’s a misunderstanding that can be resolved in the unlikely chance it becomes an issue.
“so,” jinhwan starts, “tell me about your group.”
and you’re gone.
conversation flows surprisingly easily once the two of you find your common ground. as a manager and as a friend, you have a lot to tell him about your members and how they act. “one of them, my friend, actually, she’s a really big fan of yours.” you mention, offhandedly. you’ve gone long past the point where you’re trying to filter yourself.
“is that so?” he asks, calmly, and you grin.
“yeah. she was really jealous when i told her that i met you before,” you laugh, “and she’ll probably be a little bit jealous that i met you again today.”
“what about you?” he asks, and then looks a little bit startled. almost as if he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“i’m sorry?” you ask, despite knowing perfectly well what he’d meant to say. you do your best to not blush.
jinhwan, having seemingly decided to just go with it, smiles. “are you a fan of mine, too?” he asks, and oh, your cheeks are not supposed to feel this hot.
“i, uh—” you flounder, trying to think of a way to answer this professionally, before a strangely brave crevice of your mind tells you to be honest.
“before? i don’t know. but now? probably.” you admit, which is good enough for jinhwan.
he doesn’t push it (probably because you looked like a tomato just then and he wants to save your blood pressure), and instead steers the conversation back to your life as a manager and his funny anecdotes in the entertainment industry. for someone who is so soft spoken and looked so thoroughly awkward when you first met, he tries incredibly hard to keep the conversation flowing and comfortable. you’re half in awe at his easy going nature.
you eat slowly once you get your food, selfishly wanting the conversation to last longer, but eventually there are no more noodles left in your plate and half of the lunchtime rush has already cleared out. jinhwan excuses himself to pay, asking you to watch his jacket, and you grab your purse and your housewarming gift from the floor while you wait. your phone tells you that it’s been nearly two hours since you entered the restaurant, and you must have suddenly forgotten how to read time, because there’s no possible way you had spent that long talking with jinhwan.
he eventually comes back. he puts his mask on and grabs his jacket from the back of his chair, and you take that as your cue to head to the payment counter. “i’m here to pay for my order,” you say, pulling out your wallet, and the checkout man shakes his head.
“you’re already paid for,” he explains, and you frown. “pardon me?” you ask, unsure if you heard him right.
“the gentleman who sat next to you has already paid for your meal,” he clarifies, and you stand there for a moment.
“are— are you sure?” you ask, confusedly. the checkout man nods. “here’s the purchase receipt if you want to be sure.”
the sound of the front door bell tinkling draws your attention, and you turn to see jinhwan’s figure leave the shop. “thank you!” you exclaim hurriedly to the counter, mindlessly stuffing the receipt in your left pocket before booking it out of there.
by the time you get to the outside of the shop, jinhwan is a good ten meters away. “jinh—!” you start, and then stop. yelling an idol’s name in public is most definitely not a good idea.
you’ve never been the most active, but you run after him anyway. thankfully, he’s not making an effort to run away from you, because you wouldn’t be able to catch up with him then.
eventually, you catch up with him as he’s waiting for a pedestrian walkway to turn green. “jinhwan-ssi!” you call, furtively, and the man in question turns around to face you.
" ______.” he says, curiously. “what are you doing here?”
“you paid for my meal.” you state, and he looks at you like it’s obvious.
“yes, i did.” he says, frowning a little. the pedestrian walkway turns green. he doesn’t make any effort to move.
“can i pay you back?” you ask, hand instinctively going towards your wallet in your right pocket.
he laughs a little at that. “why would you pay me back? this is my thank you for the favours you did for me.”
“you don’t have to pay me back! i did those things because i could. besides, a vending machine drink and a pain-relief patch costs much less than a meal.” you argue.
“then, consider it like i’m doing this because i can.” he counters, and its very hard to object to your own logic.
“can i at least buy you coffee or something as thanks?” you ask, as the pedestrian walkway turns red once more.
at this, jinhwan pauses, before he sighs. “i have vocal practice in half an hour, so i can’t right now. but—” he continues, seeing the look of disappointment you already knew was on your face, “did you get the receipt from the checkout guy?”
“the what?” you ask, confused.
his face pales. “oh no, did you not take it?” he asks, suddenly looking scared, and you remember mindlessly snatching the receipt from the checkout man’s hands. you clumsily pat through your pockets a little before pulling a slip of paper out from your left pocket. “no, i have it,” you say, holding it up, “but why?”
jinhwan sighs. “turn it over,” he says, and you do.
in pen, a phone number is scribbled over the back of the receipt. “jinhwan,” it says in neatly printed letters next to it, and you fight back the urge to smile. you probably do a terrible job of it, too.
“text me when you’re free, and we can do coffee sometime, yeah?” jinhwan offers. you can’t see his face well because of his mask, but the tips of his ears are red. it’s stupidly endearing.
“i will,” you promise, because how could you say no to that?
the walkway light turns green once again. jinhwan waves as he crosses the street, and you wave as you stay behind. its only after you’re absolutely, positively sure that he’s out of sight that you let yourself grin, burying your too-hot face into your hands.
if you just played your cards right, you have a date with kim jinhwan.
-
(you text him the very same day, and make plans for coffee the next week.
you treat him to crepe cakes and lattes, and he pouts, claiming that the crepes were too much and now he just has to take you out to make up for it.
before you can tell him that no, it’s fine, it’s your treat, he has movie tickets for two booked and emailed to your account.
you agree to go, but only if you get to buy the popcorn.)
#ikon#jinhwan#kim jinhwan#jay#ikon jinhwan#ikon jay#ikon fanfic#jinhwan fanfic#jinhwan x reader#writing
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Strongest Together
After that disappointing last ten minutes of the series finale, I didn't think I would ever write for my beloved boys again. But, thanks to binging lots of episodes of the show on ion since it started airing there (happy to post this story on one of ion's Five-O Fridays) and reading many fix-it fics, I had to do this for Danny. I will be forever bitter that our last glimpse of him ever was hurt (physically and emotionally) and alone on Steve's beach. So this is my way of fixing that sad image. There's background (literally, just a few minor mentions) Steve/Catherine and Danny/others, but this is a McDanno story. I didn't want to vilify Steve, since he should take care of himself and find peace, so I hope that comes across. Finally, eternal thanks to my beta PhoebeMiller for making my story way better than it was with her fantastic feedback about story line, diction, and all the grammar. She's an awesome writer in her own right - go read her wonderful stories! And always thanks to SheppardMcKay for inspiring me to post fic.
Steve and Danny. Danny and Steve. Steve left Danny. Danny was alone.
Sighing, Danny knew he had his kids, his family and the team. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt so fucking much. Days like today, it still hurt to breathe.
Danny didn’t begrudge Steve finding his peace. Or his taking care of himself. Hell, he tried to instill self preservation in his Neanderthal time and again. But when Steve finally took his advice and put himself first, it had ripped Danny’s heart to shreds.
It still hurt so damn much because of the way Steve left. The timing sucked. Just out of the hospital, Danny could barely walk even with his cane. This proved Steve was hiding the depth of his own suffering. Normally, he'd never leave Danny when he was injured. Danny smiled and remembered Steve raiding his house for cookies after he'd been shot in quarantine. The fondness bubbling up just about killed him.
More memories of this year from hell came back, and Danny had to sit down. He'd moved himself into Steve's house after Doris died because he sensed Steve needed him. The loss was just too much after Joe's death. When Joanna had died, Steve was there for him, cooking him eggs most mornings, claiming routine was good. Danny knew Steve was talking about himself, too.
They'd fallen into something Danny dared call a relationship when he was awake late at night, insomnia raging. He and Steve lived together. They ate meals together most nights. They walked Eddie, locked up the house and said good night like a couple.
A couple of idiots, Danny grumbled now. Or was he the biggest idiot? He'd made this huge leap into what proved to be a lonely abyss.
What hurt the most was Steve pretty much rejecting the idea of the two of them growing old together on that beach. Danny didn't know for sure when his best friend would return from his Kung Fu adventures. He'd only counted on Steve coming home at some point. Now, when he replayed their last conversation, the dagger twisted in his chest even more.
The sad fact was - Danny loved Steve. Not just like a friend. He loved him like I want to spend the rest of my life with you even though you drive me crazy, you caveman. He never told Steve he was in love with him. Danny was scared and convinced such an admission would be suicide. Because he feared their friendship would be over, was so sure of it, in fact, that he kept all of his feelings locked away. He didn't want to fuck up the best friendship he'd ever had.
Not to mention, Steve was straight. He'd never given Danny any hint that he was interested. Unless you counted Steve's octopus arms and his total disregard for Danny's personal space. Which Danny did not dwell on. No way could he let himself go there. That's why he'd pushed Steve into dating. First Brooke and then the vet. Neither had really worked out, and Danny did not allow himself to question why. He would have kept on searching for the perfect mate for Steve, too, if he hadn't left. Even though Danny wanted it to be him.
No one knew Danny's secret. Although he mostly dated women, he had a few relationships with men while at Seton Hall. He kept his attraction to men close to the vest. He'd thought his college experiments were in the rearview mirror until the giant goof stole his crime scene.
To distract himself from the heartbreak over Steve’s dating, he’d focused on reconciling with Rachel in a vain attempt to stitch his family back together. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, it just didn’t work since he was in love with Steve. When they finally figured out they were better as friends, Rachel shocked him with advice to stop dithering and tell Steve. He was so taken aback by Rachel’s accurate insight into his heart, past all his bullshit, he’d gone to that bar and met Joanna. Like so many other things in his life, hooking up with her to forget Rachel and Steve had ended all kinds of bad. Spectacular didn't even cut it. Joanna's death wasn't his fault. This he knew. But he couldn't stop feeling guilty. She was with him in the car because of how he'd chosen to mend himself, and she'd died after everything he'd done to try to save her.
And of course, there was Catherine. He envied her for having Steve the way he wanted. She knew every inch of him. She knew so many more secrets. Steve had opened his heart to her - and what had she done? She'd pulled a Doris. More than once. And the idiot took her back.
Weren't they a pair? Danny knew he was a hypocrite for being angry with Steve about getting back with an ex time and again. He didn't care. He couldn't help feeling upset that Steve was with Catherine (probably this very minute) and not him.
+++++++
Three months had passed since Steve left, and Danny’s PT was coming along well. He texted Steve a few times a week to check in, while Steve returned his texts within a couple hours. They’d spoken on the phone a few times, and Danny lost himself in the comforting cadence of Steve’s voice. Their calls ranged from about 20 minutes to almost an hour, and their talks were nice. But during one of their conversations, as he listened to Steve chatter on about what he did in whatever destination he was currently staying, Danny realized that Steve’s journey to find himself didn’t include him. Steve didn’t need him like Danny needed him. And that revelation punched the breath out of him. He tried to cover it, but Steve, with his keen SEAL senses, heard it.
“Danno, you okay?” Steve interrupted his story about what he saw in Scotland.
“Yeah, babe, I’m ok. Just still get tired sometimes. Had PT this morning and energy kinda zapped. You mind if we pick this up some other time? I’m gonna have a lie down.” Danny chewed his lips as he lied. It was a white lie, but still.
“Ok… you take care buddy. I love you.” Steve said with a note of concern.
“You too.” replied Danny. He couldn’t tell Steve he loved him on their calls because he didn’t want Steve to hear how in love with him he was. Texting “love you, too” was fine, but when he said it, he felt his heart in his throat.
Putting his phone down, Danny glanced around himself. He was still at Steve’s house sitting on his couch. Eddie was laying on the floor nearby. And Danny came to a decision. Steve was out finding himself, and Danny really needed to do the same. He had spent so much of the past ten years being part of Steve and Danny that outside of being a father to Grace and Charlie and being on the task force, he‘d kinda lost himself. He felt like his life wasn’t making sense after deciding to just be friends with Rachel and then the tragedy with Joanna. He knew that in order to move on with his life, he had to make a change. He would always be there for Steve, but it was time he was there for himself.
A few days later, Steve called again. This time he was in Ireland. He told Danny about the beautiful scenery there, and after he was done, he asked, “So, what are you up to now, Danno? PT almost done right?”
Danny took a deep breath and started. “Funny you should ask that. I, um, I’m gonna move back to my place, Steve.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
“Why? Danny, is something wrong?” Steve replied, trying to keep a lock on his emotions.
“No, babe.” Danny grimaced and continued. “I just, uh, think it’s time to move back. You know, you’re out there trying to find yourself and your peace without me…”
Steve gasped, “Danny…”
Shaking his head, Danny kept going. “and that’s fine, Steve. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. You deserve to find the peace and happiness you need. I just need to find myself again a bit. After Joanna died, I felt sorta lost. And I was starting to make sense of my life again before Daiyu Mei swooped in…” He didn’t mention and when you left me. Danny shook that thought from his head.
“So, I need to do this. To remember who I was before I was part of Steve and Danny…” he finished with a fake chuckle.
“Danno, are you sure?” Steve asked, a note of sadness in his voice.
Danny nodded even though Steve couldn’t see him. “Yes.”
There was another moment of charged silence.
“Ok, Danno, I got it. You need this, so I got your back. Whatever you need. Hey, I gotta head out, but I’ll call again, alright?” Steve sounded like he was happy for Danny but wasn’t quite believing it.
Danny replied, “Sure. Bye, babe.”
Steve said clearly, “I love you, Danny.”
“You too.” Danny croaked out. When the call ended, he dropped his phone next to him and covered his face with his hands taking in a few deep breaths.
It was time to find who he was again without Steve.
+++++++
Danny finally completed his eight weeks of PT, and his doctor okayed his return to light work aka paperwork. He still had to check in each month since it was his second gunshot wound in his chest in two years. As part of his process to return to Five-O, the governor mandated Danny to complete visits with his therapist since he survived such a traumatic experience. At first, he was annoyed he had to go to therapy again; he’d rather eat pineapple on his pizza. But during the couple of months of sessions about his kidnapping and near death at the hands of Daiyu Mei, he found himself working through various issues including the death of his partner Grace, his guilt over Matty, his complicated relationship with Rachel, Grace’s kidnapping and almost fatal car accident, Charlie’s paternity and medical condition, as well as other work related stresses and traumas. The governor’s directive for Danny’s therapy was once a week for two months, but he continued past that, and for a few weeks, he was going twice a week. He just unloaded whatever was burdening his mind and heart. He felt stronger for it. He even told the therapist about his feelings for Steve, and she suggested that to find closure or peace about it, he should consider discussing his feelings with Steve. Danny knew she was right but wasn’t ready yet. However, talking things out gave him the perspective he needed.
With the end of PT and his ongoing therapy doing well, he told the kids first he was moving out of Steve’s house. They were shocked, Tani near tears while Junior took the news stoically. But once Danny told them why, they were very supportive and helped Danny move to his now renovated place over two weekends. Lou, Quinn, and Adam also chipped in their time to help with Danny’s move. Since Junior moved in with Tani, they figured out a schedule of who would check on Steve’s place and when including the upkeep of the grounds. Junior and Tani told Danny once he was cleared for regular work, he could share some of the maintenance duties. They'd take care of it for now. Tani joked that maybe they could get Kamekona to hire some of his family. Danny rolled his eyes and smacked her. None of them had enough money for that enterprise.
Eddie was another story. Poor guy was just adapting to his master being gone. Now they were relocating him. Danny decided Eddie would live with him, and Junior would take him as time allowed since he loved Eddie, too. It was a good arrangement, as the loyal dog loved each of them. And he enjoyed the extra attention he was getting.
Danny felt like things were starting to get back to the new normal without Steve while he was at work doing paperwork and running point for any cases from HQ if needed. He surprised himself that he got the hang of the HQ computer table after getting lots of help from the team. Quinn was especially patient, and he appreciated it.
While Danny settled back at work, he still kept in contact with Steve. His best friend would mostly text him to check in with how things were going and send some pictures of gorgeous landscapes and appetizing food. When they did talk on the phone here and there, Steve would catch Danny up on things with him. Danny winced when Steve spoke about Catherine, but tried to sound as supportive as possible. He had to keep reminding himself that if Steve was happy with her, he would just have to accept it. And during one of these phone calls, Danny promised himself that he needed to start dating again. He may be in love with Steve, but he also owed it to himself to move forward and not spend the rest of his life pining after his best friend who was happy with the love of his life.
In a bold move, he asked Adam to be his wingman, explaining he needed to shake things up. He wanted to reclaim who he was before Daiyu Mei and even before his last disastrous attempt to get back with Rachel. What he left unspoken was his need to reinvent himself without Steve.
Adam didn’t even raise an eyebrow and had replied, “You got it, brother. You were there for me when I was lost without Kono, so I’m here for you.”
Danny was so grateful. They went to nice bars, the types professionals patronize. Danny did score dates with some doctors, lawyers, and accountants. He surprised Adam by dating both men and women, but after that initial shock, Adam supported his choices, even offering to set Danny up with friends. He even went on a few double dates with Adam and Tamiko. The companionship was nice, and the sex even nicer, but Danny didn’t feel like any of these people would help him get over Steve. At least he felt like his life was more balanced and not just focused on Steve all the time.
When he first mentioned to Steve that he was dating again, there was a silence long enough that Danny thought the call dropped. He could easily FaceTime Steve but just could not find the courage to see his beloved face again. The phone calls offered distance, a buffer. And Danny needed it so he could continue to support Steve and survive his updates when they included Catherine.
Just when Danny was ready to ask his best friend if he could hear him, an exaggeratedly upbeat Steve jumped back in.
“Hey, buddy, I’m glad you’re getting out there again. You deserve to be happy, too.” His voice cracked on the last bit.
After that last odd tone from Steve, they continued like normal when Danny filled him in on the latest with Grace and Charlie. The rest of the call was pleasant with some of their usual teasing.
But on the next call when Danny mentioned how he and Keith went on a double date with Adam and Tamiko, Steve choked and started coughing on the phone.
“Hey, babe, you ok? Don’t choke on the butter in your coffee, alright?” Danny joked.
Steve got his breath back and said, “Sorry, went down the wrong tube. Wait, so you’re dating guys now, Danny?”
Danny didn’t care for Steve’s tone, but answered, “Well, I did date a few guys back in college, but just stopped once I met Rachel.” He didn’t mention and once I met you. “Is that gonna be a problem for you, Steven?”
Steve quickly responded, “Of course not, Danny. I’m just shocked you never told me this in the over ten years we’ve known each other. And for the record, it’d be hypocritical of me if it was.”
Now it was Danny’s turn to gasp. “Wait, when the hell were you dating guys, Steve? In all the years we’ve been together, you’ve only talked about women.”
Sighing, Steve said, “Well, I didn’t really date guys, Danny. When I was deployed, I helped my teammates out like they helped me. So to be more specific, I’ve had sex with guys, but not actually dated them. I enjoyed the sex and was even attracted to some of the guys, but DADT kept me from being open about being sexually attracted to men.”
Danny couldn’t help himself. “Did Cath know?”
Steve chuckled briefly. “Of course, man. I told her I slept with several men and was attracted to some. She was cool with it since she had some bi friends and family.”
Danny admired Steve’s honesty, and he wanted to be honest, too.
“Steve, dating these men and women - it’s nothing serious. Don’t get me wrong, the company and sex are great, but they don’t compare to you.”
It sounded like Steve sniffled on the other end of the line. His voice was slightly hoarse. “And just so you know, partner, no one will ever replace you. No one can. Hey, we gotta grab some food…”
Danny teased, “Try not to ruin your food with pineapple, you animal. Enjoy your meal.”
Snickering, Steve added, “Copy that.”
Steve’s voice became sincere again. “I’ll call you again soon, Danno. I love you.”
Automatically, Danny replied, “You, too.”
Steve’s breath hitched before saying, “I miss you, Danny. Talk to you soon. Bye.”
Danny exhaled, “I miss you, too. Bye, babe.”
Once Danny placed his phone down, he was like, good going Williams. You almost told him you’re in love with him while Cath was right there. Don’t be an idiot next time.
+++++++
It had been a week since that eye-opening phone call and about six months since Steve left, Danny had been back to regular responsibilities at work for about a month. His therapy sessions were twice a month now. He was still seeing people but didn’t feel the desperation to date like when he first started a few months ago. He felt confident in his own skin again, feeling better both professionally and personally. But he was still in love with Steve. Danny finally decided. Fuck it. I’ll always love the maniac, I just have to live with it.
And it came to a head during one of their phone calls almost two months later.
Danny couldn’t keep himself from asking, “You happy with Cath, Steve?”
There was a pause before Steve said, “I wouldn’t know. She left about two months ago on another CIA assignment. She offered to come back when her job was over, but I told her that I need stability and consistency and her work didn’t provide that. I said I was proud that she found her way and happy for her that she loved her job. I told her that I would always love her, but she deserved someone who was in love with her.”
Danny’s heart sped up with hope. “So, what are you saying, Steve?”
Steve pushed air through his nose. “I’m saying that I couldn’t commit to her because I’m in love with you.”
“Steve…?” Danny’s voice shook with emotion.
“Danny, every time I told you I love you when we ended our calls, I meant it as I’m in love with you. You never repeated it to me so I assumed you didn’t feel the same way. But once you told me you dated guys, I got hopeful again. And after that phone call, I stopped sleeping with Cath. And she knew something was up with the no sex but never called me on it. That’s just not what we do. Things are easy for us, and when they’re not, we still pretend that they are. But my heart couldn’t just be satisfied with what was easy and familiar anymore. I needed the challenge and passion. I need you.”
Danny confessed, “Babe, I’m in love with you, too. I just couldn’t tell you since I thought you had your happily ever after with Catherine. When I figured you guys were permanent, I dated to move on without you. But it’s no use, Steve. I want you. I want everything with you.”
Choked with emotion, Steve whispered, “Danny.. I’m coming home.”
“I’m so glad, babe. I love you.”
+++++++
Two days later, Danny was at baggage claim. He spotted Steve immediately, tall and gorgeous with a full beard and short but longer than military regulation hair. Steve saw him too, and his face lit up with a huge smile that crinkled his eyes. They moved quickly through the crowd to each other. As he got closer, Danny spotted the specks of white in Steve’s hair and thought it just made his big goof even more handsome. Finally, they were in front of each other. Dropping his duffel, Steve wrapped his arms around Danny hugging him tightly. He tucked his face into Danny’s hair and inhaled deeply.
“Danno, I missed you so much.”
Danny just squeaked out a “me too” while he hugged Steve. He was too busy inhaling the travel worn scent of Steve. He couldn’t get enough of the man he loved. He rubbed his face into Steve’s chest, reveling in the physical presence he had wanted so much all these months and at long last had.
They moved so their foreheads were resting against each other. Breathing the same air, not aware of the bustle of the people around them.
Danny broke their peaceful bubble by moving his face away so he could look into Steve’s eyes. “Did you find the peace you needed, babe?”
Huffing and licking his lips, Steve shook his head. His left hand held Danny’s face as his gaze never wavered. “Not yet, but I’m working on it. I know I’ll get there with therapy and what I need most.”
Danny tilted his head questioningly at Steve.
“You.”
Then Steve kissed Danny. Eyes fluttering closed, Danny returned the kiss. Like this thing they were doing happened every day.
Feeling a surge of joy, Danny broke the kiss with a smile. Smiling himself, Steve opened his eyes.
“I think I need you to repeat yourself, I didn’t quite hear you,” Danny said with a smirk as he pulled Steve down again. This time, the kiss was firmer. Danny nipped Steve's bottom lip and he opened his mouth. Always the control freak, Steve cupped Danny's face so he could move him where he wanted. He hummed contentedly as he tasted Danny. A couple times, their teeth clacked, but their tongues soothed the minor mishaps. The frantic exploration continued until they needed air.
Eyes opening and panting a bit as their lips parted, they grinned at each other goofily.
“I think we gave the airport enough of a show, babe.” Danny joked.
Steve chuckled. He sobered a bit and said, “Danny, I love you.”
Danny smiled brightly as his heart thudded happily. “I love you, too, Steve. Let’s go home.”
“And where is that exactly?” Steve asked mischievously.
“Wherever you and I are together.” Danny replied quickly.
Appeased, Steve grabbed his bag and slung it on his left shoulder. He pulled Danny under his right arm as they walked to the car.
Danny with Steve. Strong on their own. Strongest together.
FIN.
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
coda/missing scene to 4x05 because i, once again, had too many feelings. read on ao3
Eddie Diaz is good at compartmentalizing. He’s great at it, at putting his emotions in a box and locking it to focus on the task at hand. Needs to be good at it to be able to do his job, be it in the army or now, as a firefighter. He doesn’t get to panic when one of his coworkers is in danger.
He still nearly loses it when he and Bobby hear that Buck’s still in the factory.
It’s not a surprise, not really - of course Buck disobeyed a direct order to make sure every last person gets out alive, and of course he doesn’t think about himself. It’s one of the things Eddie loves him for. But the sheer terror of hearing Buck explain over the radio that there’s no way out almost overrides his training. Almost.
For a second, he’s ready to run right back in, on his own if he has to, to find Buck and get him out, somehow, he has to-
Then Buck is on the radio, alive, still okay, and the incident commander tells him that a rescue team is coming in to find them, and Eddie forces himself to stay calm and focused, to be of help where he can be the most useful. And then the factory blows behind them.
Chimney, Hen, Cap, him, they all spin around in shock and Eddie can just stare at the balls of fire and the smoke billowing, feeling paralyzed. The rational part of his brain is already clocking that it wasn’t the whole factory, probably just one of the tanks full of flammable gas, and probably not anywhere near where Buck is, even though he didn’t seem sure about where that was over the radio. His heart, hammering against his ribs, takes a little longer to catch up and Eddie has to press his shaking hands against his thighs for a second.
He’s got himself under control by the time they’re being sent in.
Outside of the factory, he can’t bring himself to look at Buck for too long. He’s over by an ambulance with Bobby, having been checked over quickly, and the look on his face is something Eddie doesn’t quite know how to deal with. But he’s got Bobby there, and Hen, so Eddie has to trust he’ll be fine.
He and Chim checked the victim over, giving him oxygen and getting him ready to be transported to the hospital. He’ll probably be fine in a few weeks, the smoke inhalation shouldn’t have caused lasting damage, and his leg is clearly broken but not crushed. Buck saved his life.
“Tell your friend,” Saleh says on a cough, gripping Eddie’s arm after they’ve moved him onto the ambulance, “thank you. Thank you.”
“I’ll tell him,” Eddie promises, fixing the oxygen mask over his face again. “Breathe.”
They ride in the back of the ambulance mostly in silence, checking Saleh’s vitals and focusing all of their energy on him.
It’s only on the way back to the station that Chimney says, “So that was a bit too close for comfort, huh?”
Eddie lets out a humourless laugh. “You could say that.”
“You think he should’ve been working today?”
“I think,” Eddie says slowly, “that he needed to not be alone with his thoughts today. And I don’t think he could’ve done his job any better today.”
“Yeah, no, he did everything right,” Chimney says hurriedly, “that’s not what I meant. I just...worry about him.”
Eddie looks at his drawn eyebrows and hunched shoulders and thinks about the way Chimney has been acting around Buck for the past few days, like he’s walking on eggshells, careful but ready to jump to his defence at any time, and knows he’s being honest. “Yeah, me too.”
The way Buck called himself spare parts, defective parts this morning is still echoing in his head. He didn’t know what to say or do to make Buck feel better, still doesn’t. Whenever he’s tried to talk about any of it for the past few days, Buck has been quick about brushing him off, with humor or sometimes anger, though that was always directed at his parents and never at Eddie.
He gets it, is the thing, knows all too well what it’s like to keep things to himself, to not want to talk to anyone about them. He just didn’t know what it’s like on the other side of things. All he wants is for Buck to know that none of this is on him, that his parents are the one who fucked up and didn’t do their job. A job that should be the easiest in the world. Eddie knows how easy it is to love your child unconditionally. He also knows how easy it is to love Buck.
One day soon, he’s gonna find a way to prove to Buck how loved he is. If that means coming clean to him about his feelings, then so be it - he’s been thinking about it for so long now that he’s pretty sure Buck wouldn’t ever leave him and Chris, even if he can’t reciprocate Eddie’s feelings. Buck deserves to hear that someone loves him for him.
Back at the station, Eddie showers and changes into a clean uniform, and when he’s walking up the stairs, Buck’s parents are there. He knows it’s them immediately and catches Hen’s eyes across the room, her eyebrows raised.
“Is Buck back yet?” he asks her, voice low as he sits down on the couch next to her.
She shakes her head. “Bobby went to the hospital with him, just to make sure he’s really fine. I don’t think he knows they’re here.”
Eddie looks over at them, and has to press his hands to his thighs again at the sudden rush of hatred that he feels for these people. He doesn’t want to imagine what it must feel like to lose a child, but it gives them no excuse to treat their living, breathing children the way they did. The way Buck has been acting these past few days is their fault, it’s their fault he’s been feeling like he wasn’t enough his whole life, and Eddie hates them for it.
“Has anyone talked to them?”
“Chim did, when they came in,” Hen says, “and I kind of wanna give them a piece of my mind. You look like you do, too.”
Eddie gives her a wry smile. “That obvious?”
Hen scrunches her nose and gives him a kind smile. “Yeah. I can’t imagine ever treating my children like that. And I think they should know what they’re missing out on with Buck.”
Eddie couldn’t agree more, and before he knows it, he’s pushing himself up from the couch and walking over to them.
They both look up with matching expressions of polite confusion, and Eddie grits his teeth and sits down without asking.
“Mr and Mrs Buckley?” he asks. “I’m Eddie Diaz, I work with your son.”
“Do you know where he is?” Mrs Buckley asks. “Howard said he didn’t know.”
Depending on when Chimney talked to them, that’s probably even true, but Eddie wouldn’t hold it against him if he was just trying to get away from his parents-in-law as quickly as possible. “He’s at the hospital.”
“Oh, what did he do now?” Mr Buckley’s voice sounds long-suffering, as if his son being in the hospital is a nuisance more than anything else.
“His job,” Eddie bites out. “He did his job and saved someone’s life tonight. Do you even know the kind of man your son is? He goes above and beyond for everyone. He risks his life to save others - did you know he saved dozens of people during the tsunami, including my son, while he wasn’t even a firefighter? Of course you didn’t. He shows up for his friends time and time again and he puts everyone else before himself. He’s a good man, a great man, something he certainly didn’t learn from you-”
There’s a hand on his shoulder and he cuts off, the sudden silence making him aware of how loud his voice has gotten, and he looks up at Hen, almost expecting her to tell him to shut up, but she’s looking at Buck’s parents with narrowed eyes.
“With all due respect,” she says, and Eddie has never heard her voice like this, this hard and cold, “but Buck deserves better than what he got from you. He’s not just a valued member of this station, he’s family. I’m happy to tell you some stories about him, if you’re interested in hearing them, because I agree with Eddie that you should at least know what kind of person he has become in spite of you.”
Mr and Mrs Buckley look almost chastised, speechless, and Hen drops into the chair next to Eddie. His hands are shaking again and Eddie doesn’t think he can sit here with them any longer, certainly doesn’t have any nice things to say to them, so he decides to let Hen handle it from here on. She’s clearly got it under control.
Wordlessly, he stands up and goes downstairs to wait for Buck instead.
When Bobby parks the car, Eddie spreads his arms expectantly, relief flooding his veins when he announces that Buck got a clean bill of health from the doctor.
“Glad to hear it,” he says, but can’t help giving Buck a once-over just to make sure for himself. He’s also showered and wearing a clean uniform, looking miles better than earlier, but there’s still that sadness around his eyes and mouth that Eddie hates.
“Show off,” he teases him as Bobby rushes off, and Buck smiles at him.
“I had to do it.”
All Eddie wants is to go up to him and pull him into his arms to keep him safe from the world, but this is neither the time or the place. Instead, he just puts as much of that feeling as he can in his smile and tells Buck, “I know you did.” Then, a little reluctantly, he nods his head towards the stairs. “You’ve got some visitors.”
Buck leaves with one last look, a frown on his face, and Eddie watches him go. No matter how this conversation is going to go, Buck has a lot of shit to work through.
First and foremost, he needs to talk to Maddie because Eddie knows how much they love each other and how miserable this situation is making them both. And then he’ll need to start believing that they love him - Maddie, the whole crew, Christopher. Eddie. That he’s worth that love. And Eddie will do everything in his power to make him believe that.
#buddie#911#911 spoilers#buddie fic#911 fanfiction#pia writes#man i am NERVOUS any time i post something new#and this is the first time i've written from eddie's pov I hope it doesn't suck#anyway the whole firefam loves buck so much
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
How to become a Demon Ruler 206
Part: 00 I 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05 I
Gender Neutral Reader insert
taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji ; @witch-o-memes ; @gallantys ,@tanspostsblog ; @undertaker-02 ,
---------------------------------
The class ends uneventfully and it's now time for lunch. I study my plan and see I have magical training next after this.
I sigh deeply. How am I supposed to survive a class like this?
"Not having anything they like on the menu?" Beel sounds concerned.
"No, I was just thinking about my next class. It's magical training." I frown.
"Ah I see, I have that class too. It's not always easy to keep control." Beel wants to make me feel better, it seems.
I appreciate his help. "It's just that I don't think that I'm capable of doing any magic at all."
"No way. Everyone has a bit of magic inside of them. You just need to train to get access to the power within." Levi shakes his head.
"This isn't a shonen anime Levi." Mammon already has a tray of food with him. Making Beel drool.
"He isn't wrong though. It's just a matter of training." Satan also chimes in from the side. Then he leans closer towards me. "Besides we all know about that pact of yours so even if you hadn't any magic now you do."
I'm not surprised they all know. It's probably to keep me safe from others.
"I don't know how to access that either," I whisper back at Satan.
"We will figure it out. I mean it's nothing to frown about and ruin your pretty face." Asmo just arrived and seems to indicate they will be supporting me.
"That's very nice of you. I just can't fail a class you know." I sigh.
"Too much pressure in my opinion. We also need to hurry before Beel eats everything." Belphie points at the huge pile on Beel’s tray.
"You are right, nobody can think with an empty stomach." Satan agrees and so you are all lining up to get food.
I have no idea what to choose from.
"You should try the buffo steak." Levi points to it.
"No, try the seven sin salad. It's very healthy and filling." Asmo objects.
"I'm just going for the soup today. I'm too tired for anything else." Belphie yawns.
"Just take the golden shrimps. I mean, look how much they sparkle." Mammon chimes in.
I have no idea why he is even here since he has food already.
"Just take a bit of everything," Beel says with a full mouth.
I shake my head. "I see everything is tasty. I will go for this dish, please." I order with a smile the item that looks the best.
"Ohhh, great choice. It even comes with a dessert." Beel is still chewing.
Everyone else just moves on to their own choices.
Once I'm done I'm looking for an open table. When my eyes meet Mammon's, he waves me over. "Hey, come sit here."
I awkwardly make my way through the tables.
"They aren't a dog you know." Levi giggles.
"I hope I'm not a burden on you." I sit down beside Mammon. "I won't say anything to Diavolo if you aren't including me." I don't want to be a bother to them.
"Nonsense." Belphie shakes his head.
"Yeah, like Lucifer can order us to do exactly what he wants." Satan sneers.
"I would never eat with anyone who I'm not interested in." Asmo winks at me when he sits down next to me.
"You better be grateful to the great Mammon." Mammon boasts.
I can hardly stop myself from laughing.
"Don't say that Mammon. We just hope to become friends with you." Beel smiles in between bites.
I smile at them.
"Now that is more like it." Asmo grins and we all eat together.
I feel very welcome by them, it's nice, even when they are all a bit strange.
After being full I'm on my way to my next class.
I see a group of students around a white-haired guy. He somehow catches my eye, maybe it's because he somehow stands out between the demons.
He meets my eye and gives me a short smile.
"Hey Solomon, I thought you were going to miss the first day." Satan knows the guy.
"I made it somehow. You must be the other human exchange student." Solomon seems friendly but I somehow feel on guard around him.
"Nice to meet you. If you don't mind me asking how do you know Satan?" It seems a bit strange to me.
"That's because I have a pact with him," Solomon answers very nonchalantly.
My eyes go wide. "Wow, you have a pact with a pretty powerful demon." I'm quite curious to know how this even happened.
Solomon chuckles. "To be exact, I have pacts with 72 demons."
"72? That's a huge number. Are you collecting pacts or something?" It seems like a ridiculous amount.
Satan laughs at this. "You could say that. He got pacts with Levi and Asmo too."
"What can I say? I might just like making pacts." Solomon shrugs like it's no big deal. Then he looks at me again, like he is now truly seeing me for the first time. "You seem to be a pretty unique one yourself. I mean it's not been that long and you have a pact of your own. I might have some competition at this point." He seems to be able to sense my pact.
I wonder if he knows who I made my pact with? I almost shiver from that thought.
"What can I say, I adapt fast." I try to be nonchalant about it but I'm unsure if it works on him.
"Oh, I don't know much about how humans access their magic, you might be able to help them." Satan has thought about this, it seems. Which is honestly pretty nice of him.
Solomon thinks for a moment. "It's been a while since I learned how to use magic but it's different for everyone. It's like pulling energy from the elements around you. Since you have a pact you can also draw power from that. You can do that by recalling how you felt when that magic force entered your body. I can give you some pointers later. I'm staying at Purgatory hall by the way." He seems to want to help me out.
"I will try that. It's just kinda hard. I tried to feel my power but got nothing." I sigh.
"That's normal with beginners. You are probably best off trying to feel magic power from another strong force. Like a fire or a waterfall. Maybe even a strong demon." Solomon smiles calmly.
"You might want to exchange numbers to make it easier for everyone." Satan's suggestion is really good.
"That's a great idea." I exchange information with Solomon. I have questions for him, even when he seems a bit shady.
"You are awfully eager to help the new student Satan. Are you into them?" Solomon grins suggestively at Satan.
"Do I look like Asmo to you? They gave me a very nice present. I'm simply returning the favor." Satan denies it, but not very strongly.
"A present? That's interesting." Solomon looks at me with glee. "That's certainly one way to gain favors for pacts."
The class bell saves me from the rest of this conversation.
The magic class is very hard for me. I can't do a single thing. Even when it's very easy.
Solomon aces every task and Satan just seems to be there to assist the teacher.
I wonder why Solomon is even here, to be honest. He is clearly not very frustrated. I want to manage just one spell. Then I recall Solomon's advice.
The memory of my pact with Diavolo is still fresh. I recall the warmth that his energy left within me. The sensation on my back. I start to feel the warmth from my back. It seems to work.
I calm my excitement and focus on that feeling. It seems to be spreading. I feel warmer, I try to imagine the energy going into my arms and hands. It's like a river in front of my inner eye. Warm and red flowing through me.
I close my eyes, getting lost in the feeling. It's flooding me slowly.
Then someone yells out in fear. My concentration breaks and I open my eyes.
In horror, I see flames in front of me. I set a table on fire.
Behind me, I hear Solomon laughing.
"Omg! I didn't mean for this to happen!" I panic and frantically look for a fire extinguisher.
"It's alright, I can handle this." The teacher steps in and the fire dies down. "Are you alright?" He seems worried.
"Y-Yeah." Other than shaking from the shock, I'm fine.
"I think they should be set free from the rest of the class. I will bring them outside for some fresh air." Satan sees me shaking.
The teacher nods.
We go to a bench outside and we sit down.
"That was quite something. Usually, it takes until lesson six to set something on fire." Satan chuckles lightly.
"Not helpful." I sigh and look at my own hands. I never thought I could summon such powers. It's kind of scary.
"You don't need to beat yourself up. Diavolo is extremely powerful so it's no wonder that by tapping into his powers you cause such destruction. To be honest it could have been way worse. It's awesome that you could do it on the first try so all you need is some practice." Satan tries to cheer me up and I'm grateful for that.
"I hope you are right. It was so scary. I didn't even realize what I did." I wonder if I will be able to control it next time.
"Maybe just imagine water next time? Oh, wait then you're probably gonna flood us all like Levi." Satan chuckles.
"Levi floods stuff?" This sorta surprises me.
"Yeah, he always summons Lothan when he is very upset and then the whole building gets wet." Satan sighs.
I have a hard time imagining it. "Seems pretty reckless."
Satan shrugs. "Living with demons is just like this. When I get very angry I destroy stuff all the time too. It's hard to control my anger in my demon form. We all might seem cool and powerful but our sins are also a weakness." Satan smiles ruefully.
I nod. "I see, thank you for sharing that with me." Somehow it helps to know that they also screw up.
"Just be prepared for the lecture from Lucifer if you get into trouble. Well, maybe in your case it will be Diavolo scolding you. No, wait, that's too hard to imagine. Who is doing the punishment in your home?" Satan seems genuinely curious.
"I haven't gotten in trouble yet, but I somehow feel it's Barbatos." He is at least punishing Diavolo, it seems.
"I can see that. I wonder what he will do in that case." Satan seems to imagine a few things.
"Who knows, but I certainly don't want to find out." I giggle slightly.
Satan nods and we sit for a while on the bench.
It's nice of him to keep me company.
School is probably pretty good after all.
I feel like I made a few friends and I guess it can only get better from here on out.
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
✒️ Hi again! Like promised I'm going to spam you with requests, but don't feel forced to do them, please 🙈 Can I request a Fred blurb with the prompt "Tell me I'm cute or I'll tickle you.", please? Thank you 💓
HIIII, So this is my first time writing for Fred and I don't know how good this is but I had so much fun writing it I don't care. I do hope you like it. Enjoy! 💚
The cute Weasley
The Gryffindor common room was missing its usual buzz from the people who called the place a home. The recent win from their Quidditch team had the entire house of Gryffindor scattered around the castle celebrating the win. After all, it wasn't everyday that the Slytherin team got their asses kicked even with all the tricks up their sleeves.
Of course the match took place the same day and the same exact moment that Snape decided to give you detention for something that wasn't even your fault.
Cleaning the cauldrons from the potions classroom wasn't the highlight of your day, the smells stuck to your clothes and hair as you were barely halfway through the task. By the time you were done the sweat was making your clothes stick to your skin and your hair was falling out of the bun.
Mr. Filch let you go with a huff after he double checked every cauldron, muttering to himself as he entered the classroom and disappeared from your sight. You didn't have the energy to question him. Dragging your feet back to the common room where you now sat, wrapped in a blanket fresh out of the shower, staring at the fire with heavy eyelids.
Soon, laughter filled the air making you jump in the corner of the couch you sat. You didn't bother to turn around to see who was walking through the portrait, you would have been able to recognize the voice of your boyfriend even in the loud crowd of the game. Fred just had the power of making himself known in whatever room he walked in.
"You go ahead." he said in a low voice, probably to his twin and Lee as footsteps echoed from the stairs. "Y/N?" you heard him call, his body covering the light from the fire as the couch dipped with his weight sitting next you. "We missed you at the game, love." he muttered.
You opened one eye to look at him, a soft smile appearing on your face when the warmth from his hands connected with your face, moving some hair out of your face.
"Was detention that bad ?" he asked with a frown, opening his arms to hold you when you crawled to his side. A chuckle vibrated through his chest as you snaked your arms around his middle, nuzzling your head in his chest with a nod.
"Should I tell George to get the fireworks ready?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, successfully making you laugh.
"Nah," you told him, waving a dismissive hand "Save them for something better. I'm just tired." you lifted your eyes, meeting his warm gaze already looking at you "I'm sorry I missed the game."
"That's what you're worried about?" he scoffed playfully, tightening his hold around your waist reassuringly.
"It's important to you." you said with a smile "Besides, I like to see you play. " you grinned.
He laughed loudly, shaking his head as he did "Don't worry, you can see my cute self all you want here. There'll be more games."
You let the silence fall in the room, his hand moving soothingly against your arm when an idea popped on your mind, a smirk forming in your face as you hummed.
"Who told you you were cute?" you said.
He popped an eye open just like you did before "I beg your pardon?" he said, a frown on his face.
"They lied to you." you mumbled with a shrug of your shoulders.
A grin spread on his face when he saw the look on your face. He let go of you, sitting straight as he faced you "You think so, huh?"
"I do." you said with a nod, batting your eyelashes at him.
He nodded too, his tongue sticking out from between his teeth "Alright then." he said shortly, making you frown for a second before he launched himself at you, your scream getting caught in your throat as laughter replaced it.
"So you think I'm not cute?" he said over your laugh, his fingers tickling your sides as you fought to get out of his grasp.
"NOOOO!!!" you laughed, managing to grab one of his wrists as the other kept on attacking you. His movements slowed down, his face hovering over yours as you held one of his hands in both of yours.
"Tell me I'm cute or I'll tickle you." he said, a mischievous tone in his voice as his fingertips ghosted over your side.
"That would be a lie." you whispered "I must not tell lies."
"Have it your way then." he grinned, snatching his hand out of your grasp and resuming his attack on your ribs.
Tears started to run down your cheeks, your stomach hurting from all your laughing as you turned into a small ball on the couch.
"Okay, Okay!" you yelled "You are cute!" you finally said, his fingers stopping as he raised an eyebrow at you "The cutest." you said in a small voice, flashing an innocent smile at him.
"What is going on here?!" someone said form behind you. Fred's head turned towards the stairs as you slowly peeked from behind the couch.
"It sounded like you were killing Y/N." George said with a dramatic gasp, walking towards you "Get away from her, she is my favorite sister in law." he yelled, fake fighting Fred as you laughed from your seat.
"George!" you called, running to hug him and 'keep him away' from Fred. After the 'fighting' ended you all sat together by the fire, Lee joining shortly after.
"You know George, I'm not your sister in law yet." you told him, Fred's eyes falling to you with a smile.
"Don't worry, that can easily be fixed." George said, winking an eye at you. "Would you prefer Percy or Charlie?"
You all erupted in laughter ignoring Fred's complaints as you moved to hug him, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"I think I prefer the cute one." you murmured, looking into Fred's eyes with a smile.
"Well this is awkward," George mumbled "That would be me."
"Oh, shut it." Fred grumbled, throwing a pillow at his twin before he turned to you, "Y/N is the cute Weasley."
TAGS:
@fanficflaneuse @nebulablakemurphy @lupins-sweater @accio-rogers @gloriousrebelrunaway @slytherinprincess03 @not-today-anxiety @strawberriesonsummer @infinity1o1 @haphazardhufflepuff @deafgirltingz @summer-writes @remmyswritings @peeves-a-legend @yourssuccubus @it-was-three-am
#300 celebration#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x you#fred weasley x y/n#hp fanfiction#hp fanfic#harry potter fanfiction
397 notes
·
View notes
Text
bathroom floor (matsukawa issei x reader)
cw: eating disorders, purging, its not angsty
wc: 5.6k
dunno why this is so long but no beta i die like a man
matsukawa could count on one hand the names of his classmates that he could personally remember. even then it was only the class president and the student council secretary seeing as they were the only two people that ever really interacted with him when he was there. on his breaks he was with hanamaki, in class his head was down, after school he was at volleyball practice; he didn’t really have a reason to remember anyone else. it’s not to say he didn’t try, people were just standoffish due to his large structure or wanted to mingle with toru through him. he simply believed it was a bother. that was probably until his first term of his third year when he was seated next you.
“matsukawa-san.”
“matsukawa-san.”
“matsuk-” matsukawa groans, shifting his head to the left in hopes of identifying the offending voice. he cracks open an eyelid, shifting his head to figure out who’s the one pulling him out of his nap; it wasn’t his mom or his younger brother. as his eyelids adjust to the rays of light engulfing the room he comes to the realization that he is in fact not in his bed, but rather sprawled across his desk and staring down at his desk mate’s tights-covered legs. “are you okay?” he whips his head up at your voice, wide eyed and rubbing the side of his mouth with the back of his palms as he scowls at you. not with any bad intentions but he’s willing to run the risk of looking like a dick if it saves him from the embarrassment of being caught sleeping in class.
“what is it?” you cock your eyebrows at him fingers to your chin, deep in thought. what did he say that was so interesting, he doesn’t know but he sinks into himself, wishing you would just outright laugh in his face. you don’t laugh. instead you turn around and dig through your bag pulling out a can of coffee and an energy bar, gingerly playing them on his desk.
“we’re both on class duty this week and the chemistry kits need to be brought down to class by the time lunch ends. we need it for our next class.” he stares at his wrist watch. he would rather use the last fifteen minutes of his lunch break to nap but he really didn’t want to forfeit the coffee or energy drink. not that you looked like you wanted it back. “i tried to wake you up earlier but you were kind of like a dead man walking. saying things like ‘five more minutes mom’ and ‘i’ll get up in a bit’.” matsukawa can feel the back of his neck heat up, rising to follow you out of the classroom and towards the science building. “figured you must’ve had a long night or something.”
“there’s absolutely no way you caught me fucking calling out to my mom. you should’ve just woken me up before everyone heard me telling me mom to let me sleep in,” he sighs, matching the pace of your step to walk next to you. “like, dude, that is so embarrassing.”
you turn your head and smile at him, he thinks it’s a little teasing but thankfully filled with no condescend. “actually for the most part the classroom was empty during lunch today, it was just me and secretary-san. everyone else went to go eat outside since the weather was nice.” you stated reassuringly, brushing hair behind your ears. matsukawa removes the hand he placed on his forehead with a sigh of relief. two people hearing him call out to his mother is significantly better than the whole class hearing it. “i don’t even think secretary-san heard you since she was on the other side of the room, but she most definitely saw you hung over your desk sleeping.”
“you shouldn’t call people secretary-san that’s, like, super impolite. also, if everyone else went outside to eat why’d you stay back? did you wanna watch me sleep or something,” he states matter-of-factly. turning his heel into the chemistry classroom making a beeline for the chemistry kits. he could still feel his neck burning, but he knows it’s because you’re digging holes into his back with your eyes. “or do you just, like, not have any friends.” you snicker behind him.
“you have to check the kits before you grab them; we need twenty four of them. also i’m not sure what the secretary’s name is. i was in a different class last year,” you say beginning to look through the kits separating the usable from the unusable ones. “and my friends got detention together and left me behind. some traitors they are.” you feign offense with the back of your hand to your forward and head tossed back. he notices a small beaded bracelet adorning your wrist, right under a thin gold one. you laugh at his raised eyebrows as finish separating the kits. he’s surprised to say the least, everyone in class one was the book nerd type who spoke harsh words behind whispers. at least to his knowledge anyways. he definitely didn’t think you would be this cheeky or friendly, especially not to the six feet tall monstrosity he was.
“why didn’t you just get detention with them. it seems more fun than eating by yourself, i think. i like to eat with my friends but apparently my dumbass fell asleep. i’ll probably get my ear chewed out during practice for it.”
“the most fun about doing things you’re not supposed to is getting away with it. plus i had to catch up on some other things so it didn’t make sense to leave and do something stupid just to get caught,” you say with a sly smile, struggling to mange the twelve kits you had split evenly between the two of you. he grabs your twelve including his silently, he wasn’t an athlete at a powerhouse school for nothing. “oh i see you are nice.”
“did you think i was some megawatt asshole or something?”
“maybe not megawatt, but, like, a twenty four watt asshole?” he snickers at that, following you into the classroom. “due to your kind act of charity, i’ll take it upon myself to take the notebooks to the teachers after school so you can head to practice early to get your ear chewed out, how does that sound?”
“absolutely fucking terrible, but much appreciated,” he says, sliding into his seat and cracking open the can of coffee you gave him. “thanks for this too, i’ll get you bread tomorrow during lunch to make up for it.”
“nah don’t worry about it,” you say, turning your head to greet two girls bouncing into the classroom stopping at your desk to complain about detention.
true to your word, you diligently collect and return the class notebooks that day after school. in fact you’re so dedicated to the task that you do it everyday for the rest of the week, never once asking matsukawa or complaining to him. matsukawa thinks you do it as to not bother him. he’s not entirely sure that’s the reason though, seeing as you’re pushing your desk next to his to share his literature textbook with him for the third time this week.
“sorry matsukawa-san, i forgot my literature textbook again. please do some charity work,” you whisper leaning over to look at the pages. you frown at his notes.
“you don’t sound like you forgot, also don’t judge someone else’s notes when they’re helping you,” he teases, looking down at you redoing his notes in a more orderly manner. small neat writing surrounds his messy illegible ones, highlighting what to look out for on the next exam. you’re wearing a gold ring with a jewel the same color of your beaded bracelet, small and dainty stilling on an even smaller middle finger. he sighs but he knows your notes have been helping him.
“between you and me? i definitely didn’t forget, i just hate carrying that heavy thing around.” you pause to look up from the notes, to his face and then back down. “maybe i’ll have you do it for me since you’re all big and tough, or whatever gender stereotype will benefit me.”
“you shouldn’t openly boast about being sexist.”
“what, you going to tell on me or something?”
“no but what’s the point in having me carry the damn book around if you have to walk home with it.” he’d rather you just not bring it seeing as no one else in his class talked to him and the most you talked to him was when you both were sharing his textbook.
“i do believe that is exactly why i don’t bring it, matsukawa-san,” you say dryly, returning to your task.
when the lunch bell rings you push your desk back and say your words of thanks, turning your heels to skip to your friends. he watches as the light hits your legs and the tights you always wear stretch around your thighs.
dirty bastard.
he turns and flees to takahiro, who makes fun of the blush creeping up matsukawas neck.
on friday afternoon, before issei leaves for practice he places two packaged rice balls and green tea on your desk. you open your mouth to say something but your friend beats you to it.
“oh? what’s this? a confession of love?” your friend pokes your cheek with a baby blue painted finger and shoots a smirk through her long eyelashes. she reminds issei of someone.
your other friend, one with dyed roots and glossed lips, pulls her back giggling saying, “hey c’mon now! you can’t scare him away, but it is an interesting approaching seeing as most people would just give a letter or something.” you sigh, shooting him a withering look of apology.
“na-chan, aya-chan, you can’t say things like that about people. it makes them uncomfortable. sorry matsukawa-san, what’s this for?”
“doin’ charity work i suppose.” you roll your eyes. “you should show gratitude when offered something, ya know?”
“oh? so this isn’t for the snacks i gave you the day i caught you slee-” he cuts you off by pulling up a chair to your desk. practice can wait.
“you are absolutely the fucking worst.”
“since you’re sitting here, share it with me i don’t like rice balls much.”
“i have practice.”
“you’re the one who sat down.” he blinks. your friends have already ran off yelling things about a part time job or something. you open both the rice balls and place one in front of him. “i don’t think you’ll get beaten if you’re a couple minutes late, at least i hope not. i think that’s illegal.”
“you’re just full of requests, huh? i might as well become make-a-wish with the amount of things i do for you,” he says mouth full of rice, towering over you even after sitting down. you sigh between small bites of the snack. “what? you don’t like umeboshi or something? why are ya looking at it like it’s defiling your throat.”
“not to sound ungrateful or anything, but i unfortunately am rather picky when it comes to food. but since the great matsukawa-san has blessed me with a rice ball i will thankfully finish it.”
“you’re so fucking annoying.”
“oh but i’m just too cute for you to let that bother you, isn’t that right?” you grin picking up your trash and grabbing your bag. “bye! i’ll see you tomorrow.” you leave before he has the chance to reply.
he leaves a couple minutes after you, heading to the third gym. he notices a pair of all too familiar tights-covered legs ducking in between the third and fourth gym. against his better judgement he follows.
dude, what the fuck. first you’re eyeing up your friend’s legs and now you’re following a girl behind the gym? get laid, he berates himself.
he watches the girl turn behind the fourth gym and he recognizes you by the charm hanging on the side of your bag. now he’s really curious. he silently leans against the wall getting close to the edge, but remaining out of sight. maybe it’s a really weird confession. he wouldn’t want to impose.
minutes pass before he actually hears anything but it wasn’t the confession he wasn’t expecting. sounds of you’re gagging fill the air. he has to stop himself from turning the corner and asking you if you’re okay, only being able to turn his head to look at you. fingers down your throat and tears down your face.
knot of uneasiness ties at the pit of his stomach as he turns and flees, knowing he saw something he shouldn’t have. the butterflies in his chest burden him knowing that he’s festering a crush on someone who hasn’t shared any part of herself to him other than her kindness. issei doesn’t like that.
after practice that day he stays continuing to abuse the gym floors hitting one volleyball after the other, trying to focus on the burns on his palms instead of anything else. oikawa and iwaizumi head out before him leaving him alone with the gym keys to lock up when he’s done. he doesn’t finish for another two hours and he only stops then because his body is about to give out on him.
matsukawa begrudgingly makes his way to the teachers room when he sees you fumble around, barely able to walk straight. his eyes widen when he sees you drop your bag and fall into the wall.
“fucking dumbass.” you hiss and pick up your bag.
“hey man, you good?” your entire body freezes, almost as if someone hit pause on you. he calls your name, panic creeping into his voice. “do you want me to carry your bag? i can walk you home.” when he goes to step towards you you swing your head back to face him.
“i’m fine matsukawa-san. have a good evening.”
he watches as your small figure, drowning in a big cardigan, stumble away quickly, never once turning back. he returns the keys to wall excusing himself, thinking about the chilling tone of your voice as he walks home.
he has no idea how to approach you after that, as the weeks pass by he avoids mentioning it, questions piling up in his mind. he knows you can tell that he’s antsy (there’s no way you don’t) around you, but you still keep polite conversation and share his literature textbook with him. sometimes you leave snacks on his desk, he always accepts them. matsukawas latest hobby has been lying face down on his desk during lunch to eavesdrop on your conversations. he tries to reason that he’s just tired but he’s so far deep he knows he’s lying to himself.
“do you think guys like clips?”
“i don’t think they care enough to pay attention to stuff like that.”
“really? i can't speak for dudes since i don’t have a dick-“ matsukawa almost blows his cover by laughing at your words “but i think they would appreciate a cute hair clip. especially on a girl he’s into.”
“i feel like guys should get into clips. i think they’d look good in them.” all three of them hum.
“wanna see if they do?” you say standing up, he can feel you hover around his desk. your friends giggle already connecting the dots, even he connected them. “matsukawa-san, hey matsukawa-san. are you sleeping? psst” you whisper close enough to where he can feel your breath on his ears. he stays silent. he watches your feet turn around, he’s almost disappointed.
“dude, he’s sleeping. you sure he won’t beat you up when he wakes up?”
“that’s a bridge i’ll cross when i get there.” you turn back around, thin fingers grabbing tufts of his hair gently as to not wake him up and pins them down. one. two. three. four. there’s two on each side of his forehead, he can feel them. “so aya-chan? na-chan? what’s the verdict.”
“his head is down we can’t tell.” your friend says, he assumes is the blunt one in your friend group probably the one you call aya-chan. he sits up. “looks like you’ve crossed that bridge though.”
“good luck, but i was right guys do look good with clips,” your other friend laugh, but before you can turn around to face mastukawa he grabs you by your waist and pulls you down. you end up on his lap and if he wasn’t too busy tickling you, he would question the promiscuity of his actions.
“you know it’s super impolite to mess around with people when they’re sleeping. it’s probably considered bullying.”
“ah! mastukawa-san! i can't breathe, i’m sorry! i’m sorry!” you can barely get your words out, getting get off between loud laughs. people look over.
“are you sorry?”
“yes yes now stop please.” he stops tickling you but still holds an arm around your waist, you make no movement to get off his lap either instead turning and grabbing his face to do a one over. “oh my god, na-chan you were right!” letting go to turn your friends, who shoot him looks of apology. “guys look super cute with clips on! hey matsukawa-san if you wanna seem less scary you should wear clips, not that i think you’re scary.”
“i’m always right, i religiously study fashion magazines. that’s why you two always look so hot.”
“ah thank you for your diligence. maybe if you studied your math textbook we’d be able to hang out this summer but someone has to do summer classes.” you giggle at your friends banter reaching over to grab your phone.
“hey matsukawa-san, smile!” pulling and arm around him you bring the phone up. he smiles and throws up a peace sign and take a couple pictures. “you’re being oddly agreeable with this. give me your line ID i’ll send these to you.” you hop off and face him.
“you just want his line ID.” of course you do, matsukawa issei is a complete stud and you want him.
“and? he’s going to give it me regardless of my intentions.” you pass your phone to him and he takes it from your hand watching the cardigan slip through your arm revealing bruises trailing under your gold bracelet. he catches you staring and quickly you pull up your sleeves to you palms. “look! sweater paws.”
“you’re stupid, here.”
“she’s not that stupid. she’s top of our grade, you know?”
“why are you bragging when you have to do remedial courses,” matsukawa deadpans, trying to figure out what to call them since he didn’t know their names and he wasn’t about to call her na-chan.
“oh, this is natsume and that’s ayasaki.” you say catching his frown as you remove the clips. he nods. “do you want me to get you clips you looked really cute with them. we can match.”
“should we get him sparkly ones? like blue ones,” ayasaki questions.
“oh! and some white ones? so it matches his volleyball uniforms?” you add on.
“absolutely not, i only did it because she’s cute.” pulling you back down, you melt into him. i feel so small next to him, maybe it’s because his huge. i like it. a lot.
“no means no. hanamaki would not let me live it down.”
“well would you look at this matsukawa went and got him a girlfriend!” it was as if he was cursed, turning to see the shit eating grin plastered over hanamaki’s face as he steps into his classroom. oikawa and iwaizumi behind, following him inside. “and you let her put clips in your hair? what a simp.”
“im not a fucking simp, i was asleep and she’s not my girlfriend.”
“she’s on your lap.”
“it’s a punishment for messing with someone that was sleeping,” matsukawa states matter-of-factly. he hopes hanamaki will drop it, but of course he won’t. it’s hanamaki.
“so who is this girlfriend-chan? is she cute?” oikawa asks circling around his desk to get a good look at you. he bursts into a grin and he says your name, your first name. hanamaki repeats it.
“oh dude you scored. good for you.” hanamaki pats his back, turning to engage in conversation with you. “do you remember me? i was in your first year class. we never talked though.”
“ah yes i recall you almost got held back because of your math scores,” you say looking up from your phone, matsukawa’s phone rings in his pocket. iwaizumi laughs.
“it’s good to see you again! we haven’t talked since, like, middle school. hi natsume-chan! ayasaki-chan! you three still together?” they both look up from the magazine natsume was pointing at.
“oh but of course. you and iwaizumi still married?”
“absolutely not i would never-“
“yes! we’re going on a honeymoon soon.” iwaizumi smacks him.
“it’s good to see the three of you, though. i didn’t know you went here,” iwaizumi says smiling.
“well that’s because your head only thinks about oikawa and volleyball, no?” ayasaki raises her eyebrows, you and natsume hum in agreement.
“oh my how romantic,” you coon. “are we invited to the baby shower?” matsukawa laughs into your shoulder pulling you closer. he feels you’re small frame, the bulky cardigan doing nothing to hide the bones he can feel brush against him.
“you know for a punishment you both seem to oddly enjoy yourselves,” hanamaki points out. “but, dude, you were super cute before but you’re so pretty now! what’d you do? cocaine?”
“not all of us have debaucherous hobbies hanamaki-san.”
it only gets louder between the banter of his friend group and yours, but he can’t focus thoughts piling up on after the other. when the lunch bell rings, matsukawa has a headache and it’s not from the noise.
“first of all? fuck coach for making us do two practice games in a row, like, i get it we have inter-highs when we get back in the winter, but this is fucking brutal.” hanamaki proclaims, feet dragging. “second of all, he’s making us practice tomorrow too. i might as well jump off the tokyo tower.”
“do a flip on your way down,” matsukawa says pulling his phone out to check his line. he texted you about his practice matches and hasn’t been able to reply since then.
“you said it yourself hanamaki, we have inter-highs coming up. we want to go to finals and to do that we have to practice,” iwaizumi reasons, but even his voice is drowned in exhaustion. oikawa whines and begins to complain about ushijima at finals and matsukawa tunes out, having already heard this seven times today.
[you, 12:13 pm] good luck at your matches today, hope u win straight sets so u can go home fast. -w-
[matsukawa, 5:11 pm] only won one of the matches but both went into a third set im so fucken tired.
you reply immediately.
[you, 5:11 pm] bruh that’s terrible make sure to grab something to eat. idk what nutritionists would say but i’m sure they would agree with me
“do you guys wanna grab something to eat?” matsukawa interjecting oikawa’s vent, raising his eyebrows.
“oh my god mattsun, you’re absolutely genius,” matsukawa shoots him a shit eating grin. “let’s get ramen?” oikawa finishes. iwaizumi and hanamaki nod in agreement, the three of them dragging themselves towards the ramen shop on the main street.
[matsukawa, 5:14 pm] you should eat too, have you had dinner?
[you, 5:15 pm] no but ayachan and nachan want to grab food before we head home. we went to a cat cafe today look. (one image attached) cute right >///<
before he gets the chance to reply he hears loud laughing coming from the street crossing on to the one the four of them were on down. maybe the day wasn’t so bad because you walk out laughing at something ayasaki said. he’s stunned. bewildered. whatever the fuck kind of emotion he’s feeling he knows it’s because you’re just so pretty. he’s a lot for words as he gapes at you, eyes wide like saucers.
“look who it is! hi guys!” natsume shouts, dragging you and ayasaki with her, your arms are all linked. he can’t move.
“wow, it’s you three again! you’re always together,” oikawa teases, jabbing an elbow into mastukawas ribs. “there’s your little girlfriend,” he whispers, matsukawa can’t even respond, he’s just so flustered.
“whatcha guys up too, anyways?” hanamaki asks when the three of you arrive in front of them.
“oh we were hanging out and we wanted to grab some food before we head home, you guys just get out of practice? you look so fucking dead,” you ask shooting them looks of pity. oikawa sighs, about to respond when mastukawa reaches and brushed your hair behind your ear.
“you cut your hair.” and it looks good.
“in fact i did.” a blush covers your cheeks almost hidden behind the glow of the setting sun. maybe i’m talking to an angel, matsukawa thinks. “thoughts?”
“you look gorgeous.” matsukawa can’t even stop himself. when he catches what he says he coughs and turns away flustered. howling shouts come from hanamaki, iwaizumi and ayasaki.
“he’s right though, you look delightful. we’re going to get ramen do you guys want to join us?” iwaizumi asks, shooting a smirk to matsukawa. he doesn’t even have time to be panicking about the situation because ayasaki, of course, agrees.
when all of you are seated along the L-shaped bar in front of the cooks, you lean in to speak to matsukawa. you both are seated at the corner next to each other which was done intentionally by hanamaki and ayasaki. “why are you guys slaving away at practice anyways during summer break anyways? does the coach have a bounty on you or something?” you’re playing with your fingers, watching the server place your meal down in front of you.
“honestly dude,” he stops to let out the heaviest sigh you’ve ever heard. “i think at this point, irihata and oikawa teamed up to put us through hell and back.”
“homie you completely ignored my question, why?”
“oh shit my bad. we’re trying to get to get to finals, you know? inter highs start up right after summer break and oikawa has a bone to pick with the shiratorizawa captain.”
“so you guys are feeling the fruits of his planned revenge?” matsukawa nods, resting his face in the palm of his hand. you shoot him a look of pity, reaching over to pat his head, his hair is so soft. “don’t worry i’m sure you’ll get your revenge, if not you can call out for your mom again” matsukawa’s face flushes and he grabs your wrists pulling you in.
“you. i thought we agreed to never mention that again,” he hissed under his breath, looking around to see if any of the other third years were eavesdropping. they weren’t. “i thought we had an agreement. i thought we were comrades. i thought-”
“matsukawa-san, matsukawa-san shhh! i’m sorry it’s fun to tease you. i promise i’ll make it so only i can make fun of you for that.” you giggle. “since we’re comrades and all.”
“i don’t wanna be your comrade anymore.”
“here take my gyoza and stop pouting, you’re cuter when you’re smiling.” you reach over and place all your gyoza into his bowl shooting him a blinding grin. “but that’s not to say you’re not cute when you’re pouting.”
“if i’m cute, what are you?” you frown, is he calling me ugly. he waves his hand through the air as if to will away your thoughts. “not like that. you’re pretty, pretty fucking cute.”
“you know, you sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.” you watch him eat as you poke at your own meal. he eats well, you smile. as the seven of you finish up your meals, you excuse yourself to the restroom. matsukawa thinks it’s suspect considering most of your bowl is full, so he follows you.
you know man your reputation for a full on creep is just expanding.
as he steps into the bathroom he seeks you hunched over, cursing spilling past your lips along with the food you forced down. you freeze, turning to look at him as he locks the door.
“i’m almost positive breaking into a bathroom is some kind of crime,” you state as if matsukawa didn’t just see you force yourself to throw up.
“i’m fully aware i’m not supposed to be in here, but i got worried, sue me.” you raise your eyebrows as him resting your arms on the toilet seat. he grimaces realizing you’re sitting on the bathroom floors. in a public bathroom. “also if you’re going to go to the bathroom as least lock the door.”
“it sounds like matsukwa issei already knew about this.”
“stop talking about it like it’s a joke.” matsukawa says grabbing tissues to wet them and pass to you. ”at least get defensive or something. i had my suspicions, saw things i shouldn’t have. i’m sorry about that.”
“don’t apologize you didn’t do anything wrong. i’m sorry for worrying you, but i don’t see this as anything of your concern.” you reach over to take the napkins from him, but he instead cleans your face for you. wiping away the spit and tears gently.
“wash your hands.” his voice left no room for argument, so you wobbled your way over to the sink and finished cleaning yourself. when you finish and turn to face him he lifts you on to the sink, trapping you in between his arms. “it’s not my concern but i’m going to concern myself with it. you’re hurting yourself.”
“so what, i’d rather hurt myself then have other people hurt me because of the way i look.” you're eyes are glassed over avoiding his and your voice is shaking, the raw emotions spilling out in contrast to your deadpan face. you guess that’s why you’re attracted to matsukawa, you’re both hide behind laid back personalities storing away a barricade of feelings gently stirring and building up. “don’t involve yourself with me anymore. i know it’s just going to be another weight on your shoulders. you’re too caring to pretend like you didn’t see it.”
“you don’t deserve that, there’s nothing that warrants this and you know that.” matsukawa sounds desperate, you know that he probably is. “i won’t let other people hurt you, i’ll protect you i promise. so please don’t push me away.”
“you’ll protect me huh.” you lean back against the mirror to look up at him. “what does that even mean.” he blinks.
“well actually i don’t know yet, but i want to figure it out with you. i want to support you and help you because i don’t want you to be alone in this, you know?” matsukawa was fumbling his words, he was nervous he couldn’t make you stay but he hoped to every god that you wouldn’t walk away. “like, i know i don’t know what to do, but i’m willing to try and figure it out. i know it’s gotta be lonely especially when your friends are bent over backwards for magazine models, and like, dude, i like you so much and i just-”
“matsukawa-san”
“yes”
“are you confessing to me in the bathroom of a ramen restaurant?” matsukawa nods, shamelessly. you think this is the most matsukawa confession to exist, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. the boy you pined over since first year found out about your dirty little secret and didn’t turn you way. he offered his and and wore his heart on his sleeve for you, who are you to turn him away. “i don’t know where we would go from here either, but i’d like it if we figured it out together.” matsukawa leans in closer to you, grabbing you by the back of your neck gently and pulling your face into his before you can object. when you break away your frown deepens, “you just kissed me with vomit breath.”
“it’s okay you’re the person i’ll kiss with vomit breath since we‘re comrades.”
“you shouldn’t call your girlfriend comrade, it doesn’t give me butterflies.”
“oh? so you’re my girlfriend now?”
“what, you don’t wanna date me?”
“oh absolutely i do. i’m honored to have the pleasure of being your boyfriend.” matsukawa teases as he pulls you down. your reply gets shut down by a wave of texts that blows up matsukawa’s phone.
[hanamaki, 6:03 pm] ayo casanova wya dude ???? are you getting your dick sucked in the bathroom that’s dirty she’s too cute for that anyways we paid and we’re heading out >.< stay safe muah
[iwaizumi, 6:05 pm] we left but you’re going to have to explain yourself tomorrow.
[oikawa, 6:06 pm] mattsun!! tell us about your salacious bathroom endeavors tomorrow at practice <333
you follow him out of the restrooms, leaning over to look at his messages and laugh, point to your phone which shows a string of messages of similar nature from ayasaki and natsume.
as you and matsukawa walk hand in hand down the streets of miyagi you can’t help but notice the butterflies blossom from the pits of your stomach exploding towards your beating heart.
“i’m thankful you’re the one who found out i don’t think i would want it be anyone else.”
“i wouldn’t want it to be anyone else either.”
as the twinkling street lights cheered you on, you stepped forward towards the future knowing you had matsukawa to lean on.
#matsukawa issei x reader#matsukawa x reader#matsukawa issei#haikyuu x y/n#haikyu x reader#issei x y/n#tw eating disorder#tw purging#idk bro don’t read this#i hate this for real#/mattsun
120 notes
·
View notes
Text
How To Clean Your Room When You Have ADHD
A huge problem for people with ADHD (or any neuro-divergent condition or physical disability really) is not knowing where to start. You have this big project in front of you and you have no idea what to do first.
This is a guide based on the years of practice I’ve had learning to clean my room even when my mental illness and chronic fatigue is trying to ruin my life (and failing.) These are the steps I take, what helps me best.
This guide is designed to give you a chance to make a large, effective change in your room that positively helps your mental health. You are not expected to be perfect, you are not expected to do everything if it’s outside of your limitations, just do your best (and don’t push yourself too much... but I never listen to that self-advice, oops.)
Most important step: eat breakfast and take your meds. Trust me when I say this will keep you going, both in the energy and focus departments.
Next, try to recruit a friend or family member to help. By help I mean asking them to keep you company and keep you on track. Talking them will help keep you going, and give you someone who can offer an idea or suggestion if your ADHD gets you stuck.
Calling a friend over the phone is a good substitute if you don’t have someone to be in the room with you today.
Music is a good alternative to keep you moving if that’s all that’s available but trust me when I say having another friend with you helps a lot.
Supplies:
Trash bags
Empty hampers
Ideally access to a nearby washing machine and dryer
Micro-fiber clothes
Long duster
Prep:
Open your curtains (ideally) for the vitamin D and focus. Or turn on a lamp with a light quality/intensity you find comfortable.
Strip your bed. Take pillows, blankets, sheets, and pillow cases off.
Washing sheets and pillow cases is mandatory because 1) it’s sooo so nice to go to bed at the end of the day and smell clean sheets, and 2) clean sheets are good for your skin, especially clean pillowcases if you have problems with acne.
Washing blankets, comforters, and duvet covers are optional. You should do it from time to time, but it’s not a priority like sheets and pillow cases. Some comforters and blankets can only be washed under specific conditions, or possibly only when absolutely necessary (because like, you stilled coffee or soda on it or your pet did something rude on your blankets.) Check wash requirements on the tags.
You can still probably ignore it unless you really want to. Again, this is about making a sizable change that positively affects you, not being perfect.
Put your sheets in the washing machine and put the rest of your bedding back on your bed and leave it there until you’re ready to put the sheet back on.
Next is laundry. Pick up every item of clothing off the floor or on nearby furniture. Every item. Even if you think, “I only wore this for a few hours the other day and there are no stains.” Wash them. 1) they smell like your floor, and that’s not a nice smell, and 2) trying to separate cleanish from definitely dirty is pretty demanding on mental focus spoons.
Just shove all those clothes in a hamper. It’s quicker that way. You’re going to wash them after your sheets.
Next clean up all the trash on your floor. Take a trash bag but don’t put in a trash can. You’re going to be dragging it with you while you work from section to section.
Food trash must go.
Packaging and plastic wrap must go.
Old school work can stay if you’re still taking the class or especially proud of that project, but otherwise just toss it. Find a folder or drawer for what’s left and store it away for now.
Start throwing trash on surfaces like desks, nightstands, dressers, and bookcases away.
Do not try to organize the inside of your drawers unless you’re planning to get really thorough. But that’s not today. Today you’re getting the basics done as efficiently as possible so you can feel better in your environment.
Take glasses, plates, mugs, and silverware into the kitchen.
Start working on cleaning up clutter on your desk and nightstand first. Next is dresser and bookcases.
Use the micro-fiber clothes to pick up dust as you go. It keeps it from piling up, does not brush dust into the air, and goes quick this way. Dust tv and/or computer screens.
Pick non trash or clothing items off the floor. Try to find a permanent spot to either store or display it. If you can’t, maybe find a box to put those items in and revisit this problem later.
By now your sheets should be washed. Throw them in the dryer and wash your blankets if you’re ambitious. If not, wash your clothes next.
Take a break and have a snack, drink some water, maybe have a caffeinated drink.
Look at your room and feel proud, but also a little overwhelmed because it’s not done yet, but it’s getting there. Don’t worry. You can do it, I believe in you.
Procrastinate getting back to work. That’s okay. You have an hour before your sheets are clean, now is a good break time. Set an alarm for when your sheets should be dried and do whatever you want.
Alarm goes off, break over.
Dust the corners and tops of your walls to get rid of cobwebs. Having a taller or sighted person if this task is out of your ability (like it is for me on the eyesight front).
One last check for any dust around your bed. Move drinks away from your bed, nightstand and nearby surfaces.
Sigh, feel tired, and go grab your clean, warm sheets. Move your clothes or blankets from the washer to the dryer.
Come back, push all the blankets onto your (mostly?) cleaned up floor. Put the flat sheet on.
Feel tired and collapse on the covered mattress for a moment. You’re doing so good, and you’re almost there.
Make the rest of your bed.
Be very proud of yourself because you got a fucking lot done and I am sooo so fucking proud of you dude.
Optional things you can after this step:
Fold and put away laundry. This is a little concentration heavy. Make sure your friend/family member is nearby to help you stay on task.
I highly recommend Marie Kondo’s folding method personally, saved me a lot of space in my dresser. Developing a set method for folding clothing makes it a lot easier to fold and put away in the future because your subconscious brain learns the motions and can practice them without you having to think too closely on it.
(She has several videos on YouTube, shorter than five minutes mostly, very visual with clear instructions, so it’s ADHD friendly, though not super blind friendly)
Now that your room looks a lot better, try putting those items that didn’t have a set place before. Your brain is probably seeing it like a whole new room and feeling refreshed.
That’s it, you’re definitely done now. Rest and relax.
Turn on your favorite music, start doing your favorite task if you have the spoons, take a nap if you don’t have the spoons. Feel proud of yourself because you did a good fucking job.
It’s like... midnight now, and I’ve been up for two days, (because my ADHD brain was too loud last night to let me sleep. Mood? Mood.) I’m maybe a little too tired to edit this coherently, but you know writing these guides and posting them with minimal editing is so very on brand for my original posts.
Goodnight guys, I am off to bed!
I hope this helps <3 please leave me a comment in the replies or tags because I love going back to see what you guys left on my posts (believe that that I absolutely do this to my How to Write a Blind/Visually Impaired Character guide any time it gets fresh activity.)
Good luck, take care, and goodnight <3
#adhd#actuallyadhd#neuro-divergent#mental health#mental illness#mental health tips#adhd tips#guide#but not of the writing kind#but still important
360 notes
·
View notes