#then again i do not want to see them it's too much.
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the mean girls of duel academia
#yugioh arc v#yugioh arc-v#arc-v#fusion four#fusion gang#idk i cant decide on their group name so i'll just use both#there's also the wip of them playing mahjong on twitter but its too unpolished to tack it on here#ahhhhhhhhhhh i need to draw them more i love this combination so much#they're all outcasts in a way in DA so i think they'd be really good not-friends... frenemies?? idk#what about grace and gloria i hear you say well theyre in their own non-student mean girls group with edo the third tyler sister#anyway time to infodump on these!!!!!#maids (and butlers) are from a long 20 page comic about DA opening up a maid cafe to earn money to pay for war reparations#i finished the storyboards and script 2 years ago but i just never got around to it again lol#i need to rework it anyway because shun and dennis were oddly cordial in that one for some reason#the standard uniforms ones are when they're sent to standard to pose as undercover students#i drafted some pages where yuri reveals himself to be from fusion in this sick costume change#it's pretty cool if i do say so myself (i do)#the comics centered around sora were also meant to be a multi paged project on how he gets closer to everyone from academia after the war#i just (gets emotional) want to see them all getting along theyre such interesting characters and even more so when interacting together#oh yeah character tags#sora#serena#yuri#dennis#edo#grace#gloria is not here
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"No one's gonna find you though..." - Creepy kidnapper/serial killer guy to Carlos.
He does not know how mistaken he is. There is a TK Strand out there who stole a fire truck just to search for his dad. Also the same TK who was close to death but decided eh better wake up because my man needs me and I need to tell him to breathe. He does not know that TK Strand has went through hell and back and is still standing... and he'll do it again for Carlos. This man will be on a mission to be reunited with his heart.
#4x04 come through for me#give me unhinged TK or don't give me anything at all#and I keep thinking about the proposal#now he might lose the love of his life#and the future I have no doubt he has been thinking about and planning towards#and that involves Carlos#so there isn't a risk that TK will not take to make sure that Carlos comes back home#as much as things are tense between them#they will both fight to see and have each other again#AND I JUST WANT TO BE DESTROYED BY IT ALL#whatever they go through- the most certain thing is they absolutely love each other#and they will go through hell and high waters for each other#not only does Carlos have TK Strand in his corner#he has family and friends who have become family and they too would do anything for each other#PERIOD DOT!!#911 lone star#911 lone star spoilers#tk strand#carlos reyes#tarlos
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the thing abt dickkory is that i know dick doesn’t deserve kory but i want him to better himself so he does deserve her
#dickkory#dick grayson#koriand'r#comics#dc#text#tais toi lys#i say this w all the love in the world but dick can only ever truly deserve kory when he’s literally like. Old. i just think#his selfish selflessness (re: heroism) ruins prospects of like healthy love bc he’s so single-mindedly focused on saving everyone that it#is all he is. he needs time to learn to love in a way that can do both parties justice!#also they were sooooooo young when they got together and they never got to chance to mature together in an adult way#honestly it’s like w bruce too bc as much as i love talia... bruce is just too mission-driven bc that’s just how he was created so#i don’t rly see any of them being married (barring early [failed] marriage) bc rn they just need to focus on their respective cities#(which famously dick hasn't been doing). sigh. would i kill to get dickkory on prime earth again? absolutely! but also would dc do them#right? absolutely not. and like dc keeps pushing d/ckbabs (srry i just don’t want this to show up in the tags i <3 them 2)#and it just keeps things so insular to gotham despite dick literally having blüdhaven to protect and like soooo many other#connections that take him out from the gated community that is batman comics 😭#anyway. whatever. dickkory is a tragedy with love built in (or a romance with tragedy built in) and that's fucking delicious#*
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Look I love alicent she’s my meow meow but why are some of her stans so against her being compared to cersei they just objectively share similarities it’s not an insult to her I prommy. Like seeing them get upset at the comparison between the eye funni in hotd and the trident oopsie in got is just. Girl calm down nobody’s saying they’re the exact same but the pararell is so obvious lmao. Not everything is an attack on your fave hotd twitter is rotting your brain please go oustide we’re worried about you
#.txt#hotd#‘she’s not like cersei she’s like catelyn!!!’ both can be true at the same time lol#‘it’s rhaenyra who’s like cersei’ again. stuff can be two things#yes obviously it’s not a 1:1 it doesn’t have to be for it to be a parallel#yes the instigating incident isn’t really comparable. no shit we’re talking about the confrontation#yes aemond’s injury is way worse/more permanent thanks for telling me that I don’t have eyes#worst feeling in the world when people like the same character as you but they’re doing it wrong -_-#istg y’all will go on about how much you love villains but you don’t want them to actually do anything bad#u guys can’t accept alicent and aemond for the evil girlbosses they are 😔 sad!#not that I think they were in the wrong in this situation#up until she asked for the eye i mean lol#anyway the real takeaway is how shit the lighting in hotd is#like goddamn where is the contrast. I can’t see anything#and don’t try the ‘well in hotd it’s night’ excuse bc it was night in got too -_-
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ive said it before i’ll say it again but just because el is brought up in mike and wills conversations doesnt mean theyre actually talking about el
#like its also simply the fact that they are having the conversations at all. that they are vulnerable with their feelings to each other#in low stakes situations simply because they are best friends and trust each other and Want to confide in the other.#the same cannot be said for mlvn and thats just the objective reality#so like. i dont see why this is seen as a valid ‘gotcha!’ for bylers. it is not.#also yeah will is in every mlvn scene and thats Still gay. like the subtext is skewed gay in every way idk 🤷#take that up with the duffers man… ‘every byler scene mentions el’ yeah and Whyyyyy do they do that Think w ur brainnn#this is like. queer subtext 101#also the el mention in one scene literally being ‘i was worring too much about her that i feel like i lost you’… do i eveb have to day it#*even *say… damn#also so funny to say this when the van scene exists. The most textually obvious example of them using ‘el’ to talk about themselves#like u expect me to take this argument seriously when there is literally a scene where will used el name but is not talking about el at all#yeah okay lmao#uhm anyways#its late im tired sorry for being cringe about byler again.#goodnight and godbless#byler#mine
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me about to read a shadowpeach fanfic only to notice that its tagged with “wukong is a bad person” or “wukong traumatized macaque” or “wukong hate club” or anything akin to that
#critical watches monkie kid#OK . OK I WILL SAY:#i totally understand evil/dark wukong aus. i get it. i like them. i appreciate them. i understand#and i can see WHY ppl write them. wukong is a character you can make mean easily#and mac is a character a lot of people relate to#and a lot of people really like him (i do too!)#i can see WHY ppl dote on him in fanfics or make him very much a victim of outside things#i see you and i appreciate you#but also i just. man. i feel like people forget that wukong is actually a good person and just want to always write him as this -#one dimensional abuser or something#and again : if you DO want to just write him as that as a fic au or SOMETHING by all means go ahead#no hate here#i think im just. :( i just wanna read a fanfic i guess where wukong isnt this one dimensional monster#if youre gonna make him evil/dark but keep it in line with the original characterizations (esp the ones in monkie kid) at least .........#idk ......... make it like . make it more then one dimensional? gah#this post is spurred on by the fact i saw a fanfic a lot of shadowpeach ppl were chatting about#and i looked into it (i havent read it. yet. i might)#and it seems to have the same premise of macaque is trying to escape wukong who is a nasty abuser!#and like. ok. im SURE its a lot more than that (i hope)#i jusssssstrttttttt#blaarghhhh
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Based on this
@poicyss
#I feel like he would do this as a joke that lands wrong LMAO. like yes telling my child i bought them at Kmart is Average Joke Behaviour#drawing his head is so hard because I wanna make his hair fluffy but I don’t want the head shape to look weird orz#side angles make me wanna cry but I love him too much to know that I’m not gonna give up lol 💪 it’s about that DEDICATION BABY#I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve tagged you in something bow 🙇♀️ but you must see the sillies they are so. clenches f#Augusta would make the jokes that you could probably pick out as false. like oh did you know we stay on the ground because everything has#glue on it or that the moon is made of cheese. anton would probably try to copy her and make jokes like buying babies at Walmart#but he doesn’t know the line between silly and existential crisis LOL#they’re both dumb somebody help them#I’m making a carrd page for my ocs and it’s cathartic getting everything out and then reading it over and over again. like yes this is the#oc lore.. most of it is just stories I have in my head and stuff that I rotate in my brain constantly and this includes Themb#my art#myart#my oc#friend oc#Anton#Vincent#Calvin and Hobbes#doodles#starshadow
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You believe me, I will not become the sun for others,
I will leave the light of my hand on your shoulder—
[ID: digital drawing of kingdom heart characters lea and isa. The background is a textured lavender, darker at the bottom of the image and the sides. They are shown facing each other from the shoulder up. Lea stares down at Isa, with a slightly open mouth, and a hand visible over the other's cheek. Isa, in profile has a slight tense expression, he stares away. /End ID.]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh fanart#kingdom hearts fanart#kh lea#isa kh#lea kh#isalea#leaisa#axel kh#the lyrics are a translation from ani lorak's The Sun#brush testing galore tho!#Trying to see what works for a very very self indulgent thing i'm drawing with the twilight fam#I might never finish i've spent several hours trying to see how i wanna go about it in terms of execution!!#me while doing a self indulgent drawing: i never want to draw axel or isa ever again#Also me while winding down:#I love them so much okay i apologize in advance#akusai#Wait do i tag that too#Huh#my doods
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also can i just say that visually the scenes in this movie flow sooo well. it’s just so fun to watch things happen???
#hi. just watched it again#my favorite scenes r the ones on the boat its like. so smooth. like a dance#idk how to explain it#see im not good at gushing bc my feelings r too big to put into words#this movie makes me want to dance & jump & smile & giggle so so much. do u understand#like. im thinking whoa how did they do that!! howd they do this!! can i get an article explaining the methods in great detail. please#howd they animate the black characters' hair how'd they get the character expressions to be so lively#how'd they make the water Look Like That what was the thought process behind the beasts' designs#+ the sounds they make i love beast sounds i want to know how ppl make them#howd hey go about creating the world howd they make each scene feel so fluid#etc etc etc#like......AUGH!!!!!!!!!. yknow?#the sea beast#smudgy.txt
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thinkin back to the rggo story where mine saves daigo after he gets kidnapped because daigo thought kiryu was in danger and mine immediately scolds him for acting recklessly and daigo’s just ‘no one’s ever stood up to me before aside from kashiwagi’ and how that calls back to daigo’s Y0 substory where kiryu tells him only true friends will stand up to him and put him in his place and im--
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#snap chats#'i'm going to be normal' WELL I WAS LYING. LIKE A LIAR. WHO LIES.#ill go in my kitchen in a sec im just. I'm Just.#*gross sobbing*#rgg really made up for Y3's Everything by giving the rggo stories and im so serious about this#people I Am Also A Part Of People complained about not being able to see mine and daigo together much and see their friendship#and.... the rggo stories..... bro theyve been fueling me for months..... im so ill......#BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH THATS WHY I GET INSANE OVER DAIGO'S Y0 SUBSTORY TOO#like daigo just wanted- NEEDED real friends who would ACTUALLY be there for him for him#not for his status or money or any of that superficial shit#it genuinely makes me happy how dedicated mine is to daigo like No Shit but it's just. *crying*#i love how mine does tell daigo when he fucks up though i love that so much#like mine's such a funny character... he's so cynical yet when he gets the chance to pour his heart out he does#he meant it when he said he didn't take sharing a cup lightly and /i/ want to eat a cup because of it#THIS IS THE SAME SUBSTORY WHERE MINE BUYS A STOCK IN EVERY TAXI COMPANY LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#ALL OF THAT JUST TO BE ABLE TO FIND DAIGO#dear god dont get me started on the hamazaki/mine rggo story. oh my god it's THAT but 10 billion i'm going to throw up#i'm just. i HAVE to go into my kitchen or i'll end up typing another essay jesus CHRIST#LIKE AGAIN I FEEL LIKE IM NOT SAYING WHAT I WANT OR GETTING MY POINT ACROSS BUT AAAA#i just need everyone to know i AM still ill over them i just havent had time or many ideas to sit and draw/write something
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you’ll always be my favorite ghost - Big God, by Florence + The Machine
[Image description: Lineless digital painting of Ford kneeling in front of the stone statue of Bill, hugging it and crying. He is in the woods, surrounded by birch trees, with beams yellow light streaming down from the treetops. The grass around Ford is shaded to be reminiscent of the shape of the portal.]
#original art#billford#god I havent drawn in ages let alone lineless art#i dont know how to draw tears or anatomy at All#I looked up 'man hugging dog' to find a good hugging-while-kneeling reference image.#sometimes you gotta say fuck it and draw the thing before the idea of it eats you alive#i'm writing a fic about ford confronting the statue. the feelings are just so Complicated#he is so angry and relieved and exhausted.#angry at everything bill did. angry that hes gone forever. angry at himself for spending any energy on thinking about bill#most of all angry at himself for missing bill. he doesnt even Miss Bill#he just misses the version of bill that he thought he knew pre-betrayal. but that doesnt make the complicated feelings any less real#i imagine he would avoid the statue for a long long time and then one day accidentally walk past it#and feel a ton of repressed feelings bubbling to the surface#and he would want to kick the statue or run away or yell at it but all of those feel so silly to do to a statue. basically a gravestone#so he ends up hugging it and feeling like an idiot for hugging it but he just has to sob for a little while#sometimes you gotta cling to the tombstone of your horrible toxic ex and sob about how much you miss them#and sob about how bitter and angry and lost and Tired you feel. there will Never be any Resolution. he's just. Gone Forever#i can picture him laughing through the sobs and muttering 'we'll meet again huh. as if.'#'i never want to see you again you asshole. and having the chance to meet again would be too good to be true.'#he's just So Heartbroken about it all. and he wishes he could get some kind of closure or something. but there IS none.#even if bill came back what would he say? nothing new. He would keep feeling no remorse about any of it. he would keep being horrible.#ford is kinda mourning the final tiny little irrational ray of hope in him that got crushed when bill died.#the irrational hope that maybe bill Could end up regretting what he did and become better and then he could have his best friend back.#the irrational hope that the betrayal was all just a bad dream and any second now he will wake up and bill will be benevolent and good#none of these feelings are things that ford can admit to himself. not even all these decades later.#but it Does Something To You to see your ex-closest-friend's tombstone!!#regardless of how deep and terrible the betrayal was.#ford so badly wishes he could stop having any kind of feelings about bill anymore. especially the lingering remains of fond feelings#but i dont know if those feelings even Can be completely gotten rid of. hes stuck with the knowledge that he feels upset about bills death.#and he hates it. he hates feeling upset about the death of an evil dream demon who tried to destroy his family and his dimension.
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a compilation of nearly every amaya drawn so far this year!
#artists on tumblr#my art#my ocs#lidkaer#i didnt expect the last one to stand out this much 😂#usually you do these sort of thing at the end of the year but i really needed to do one now. not 100% sure why yet#but i wanted to see how it all looks next to each other. also i had been feeling like i hadnt been drawing her much but! the were so many!#i didnt include all the them. a few were too doodly for me and i didnt include the gen!amaya one either. im kindof shook at how many of#them are just the same colorwise. i feel like i use to fuck around with colors a lot more before. i'll try to do that again then it was fun#getting her to more purple-ish colors rather than the bright pinks as been nice too. still obsessed by the grey eyed one. i think i'll try#to show off her shapeshifting more from now on. include her Other Form ive been keeping secrets for years (mostly because i couldnt draw it#in a way i liked for most of those years. but now im kind of getting the hang of it i feel)
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if you hate him we can’t be friends 💔
#this is how I cope with seeing people who are Inherently Wrong™️ in the main tags btw#he’s just a guy……..his heart is so full and he loves so thoroughly#he adopts an emo and a feral goth and helps them to appreciate life again what more do you WANT FROM HIM#obviously he has flaws but every dr character does??#and frankly aside from the translation issues I find that his flaws are handled in one of the most narratively satisfying ways#and I definitely feel as though a lot his actions and behaviors that people point to as reasons for disliking him are simply taken out of#context#he’s a character who was facing death before the killing game ever even started -#YES he’s intense but that’s because he has to be. he’s trying to do as much as he can within a limited timeframe#AS A TEENAGER NO LESS#Y’ALL SEEM TO LIKE TO FORGET THAT PART TOO…..GUY’S IN HIGH SCHOOL 😭#and anyway when push comes to shove he sets aside his grudges to try and do the right thing for the people he cares about#it’s. sigh. I think about the hangar scene SO MUCH.#like he really doesn’t let Shuichi apologize because he knows that Shuichi shouldn’t HAVE to#ALSO??? he’s not BEING AN ASSHOLE in chapter 4 HE’S JUST SEEING THE AFTERMATH OF SOMEONE HAVING BEEN HORRIBLY MANIPULATED INTO DOING#SOMETHING THEY WOULD NEVER OTHERWISE DO#he puts so much faith and trust in his friends because he KNOWS that fundamentally they are good people#he’s not even!!!!! directly an asshole to Kokichi until Kokichi starts treating the losses and trauma they’ve all suffered as trivial!!!#oh and don’t even come at me with the ‘’hypocrisy’’ shit#the dude’s body is fucking SHUTTING DOWN I can forgive him for not doing a couple pushups 😭#cries and sobs I love him so much. he tries so hard to be positive and make the most of things#y’all just jealous 🤧#danganronpa#kaito momota#ndrv3#new danganronpa v3#killing harmony#new danganronpa v3 killing harmony
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It's cool because I'm no longer really depressed. Not exactly, I think.
However, I still have this problem I've never been able to get rid of. I have the idea of doing a thing but then my brain goes blank and I don't do the thing. If it's a mandatory thing I will at some point do it but like with guilt, anxiety, stress and quickly and badly. But the worse part is for hobbies. I do have ideas, desire but still I don't do the things. It absolutely make zero fucking sense. It's like my brain is lacking a connection between the thought and the execution of it. It's draining all of my energy. I don't know what to do with it.
Honestly as much as I don't like working, it's kind of a good thing that I have a job, obviously for money, but also to have a somewhat healthy pattern. It's not that healthy because I go to bed later than I should be and so I'm always tired. What I mean is that I have to cook, shower etc. And I do this because of work. I know this because every weekend everything fall apart from Friday to Sunday 18:00 when the guilt finally kick in. Like, I do enjoy cooking but somehow it's easier for me to cook for work than the weekend when I barely eat anything and at weird hours. So yes I perfectly know that if I didn't have a job I would be a total mess. And that's why unlike some of my colleagues I can't quit and give myself two months of rest before actively applying for a new job, I know it won't happen (also obviously money and even though I saved some I suffer from what I call "ex poor syndrome" so even though I know I could technically survive a few months without a salary my anxiety will never ever allow me to quit without having something to bring me money at the end of the month). So yes the plan is to apply to stuff till I have a the certainty to have a new job, then quit and take all my vacation days and maybe a few extra days. Problem is the energy needed to search for a new job. Similarly I kinda think about trying once again to do something about my driving licence, because I know I will have more chances to find a job, I could go live more in a suburb less expensive area and also the reality of adulthood since my grandpa hit me that I will need to be able to drive to take care of my parents someday. But then again my brain don't want to hear anything about it. So obviously I'm like, well then let's chill and let's do something we like. Writing about the books I finally read, collages, gif making, writing, I don't know literally drawing ugly doodles in a notebook? But even for this my brain shut down. It's exhausting I really don't know what to do with it anymore.
My brain literally lack the "click" thing that activates the whole process.
#genuinely have been thinking for months about doing a adhd diagnosis but yeah... this too i can't do it#first of all i don't even know how these diagnosis are made and by who#second of all I'm pretty sure it's just me being lazy and not wanting to take responsibility for it#but i have a friend who is now under a medicine#and like she has pills that make her do things?????#like not antidepressants#antidepressants never made me do things either they just stopped me from killing myself which is you know great#they were doing their job I wasn't crying no more#but like i still was a blob in my bed when i was not at work....#i want to do things now....#like i want to deep clean my apartment because im tired of it#but it requires way too much energy#i want to start looking for a new job but again energy#i want to maybe find a healthy activity like book club or hell even sports to do outside of work so i ca' see people and all#but the thought of it... it's draining my brain#i want to do collages but again no energy#and then my friend is like 'yeah the other day i came back home there were dishes to wash and i washed them' and I'm like#WHAT ?????#there is a pill for this????#how can i have this? sounds like magic#i just can't imagine doing a thing the second i think about it#all my family relatives like to say this is about self discipline#and to an extent i agree#i mean everybody at some point push back something even normal people#problem is i do this with EVERYTHING#it's not a one day laziness#it's an eternal laziness#and anyway I really wants to know where in my brain this comes from#and how to get rid of it#you'd notice that for someone with now energy I ramble A LOT and that's because in this aspect i have no filters and that too is exhausting
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The stuff with Will could’ve been handled a little better and I really don’t care about the stancy vs jancy nonsense, but aside from that I think vol 2 was good
#i cried like 4 times#season 4 altogether was way better than 3#Ik ppl are upset about will and robin but nothing about how they were handled felt malicious#we were supposed to feel for them in those sad scenes#and it ended hopeful. i mean robin’s hitting it off with vickie and#well honestly idk about will and mike#but i feel like the fact that will’s the one who painted that painting for mike and sees mike as the heart could come up again#the fact that it’s will who feels that way not eleven#i mean. there’s still a whole other season. it’s not over til it’s over#both will and mike were sidelined this season so hopefully they’ll get some character attention in the next one#but really I’ve never cared for the romance in this show#it’s the friendship and family relationships that get me grinning and sobbing#I’m also so so glad max did not die. was eleven bringing her back somehow a little cheesy? yeah. but if max had died#after this whole season about her healing from her trauma and wanting to live again#i would’ve been crushed. would’ve soured the whole ending for me tbh#but she’s alive and I’m interested to see what they do with her in a coma#since eleven is trying to lead max out of that coma using her powers#ik ppl got real attached to eddie too but i thought his death was good and the private scene between dustin and mr munson was so much more#effective than if everyone had mourned/there’d been a funeral#it was so good i broke down crying#anyway. yeah i had a pretty great time watching this season
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...
#god. ok. so i should really b reading papers rn but my lab mate called me needy today and it just keeps cycling in my head#like ive spent way too much time around him bc of field work and the thing abt me is that i just say whatever tf is in my brain so hes#basically been exposed to a scattershot of anxious thoughts in my head idk wtf he must think of me but today he said#the more i learn abt u the more i realize ur needy in these v specific ways#and i think it bothers me a lot bc needy isnt the right word. im not needy. i dont plead for help. im just a semi non functional person.#i just lay here not dealing with all these problems i have. but i generally try just make it my own problem. im just a bit pathetic like#that. do i need help? maybe but im not like needy. im just semi nonfunctional and rather compulsive and controling over myself. i live in a#world full of invisible walls as dictated by my stupid brain. but its all internal control i can put up with a lot as long as i have ctrl#over myself. its not especially healthy but it makes me pretty easy going i suppose. ugh! needy! he obviously hit a nerve how annoying#whatever im exhausted bc i had to b a scribe all day and i had a phd meeting this morning. the project sounds v cool and apparently im the#most qualified person to approach them so far but idk itll be v competitive and do i really want a uk phd? idk idk#at least this guy conducted it like an actual interview. i was like fuck finally some structure! and he said i talk well lol thanks dude#so he thinks id do ok getting grilled by a pannel. idk i kinda wanna apply just to see how far id get into the process#unrelated#i was also having harrowing nightmares last night abt climbing mt everest. at least i got 8hrs sleep lol fml i leave for sampling again#tomorrow afternoon. this is what i get for trying to have even a tiny bit of a social life rip
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