#theme: mentorship

[hp-fanfic-archive]

The Peace Not Promised by Tempest_Kiro Pairing: Severus/Lily Rating: T Word Count: 753k His life had been a mockery to itself, as too his death it seemed. For what kind of twisted humour would force Severus Snape to relive his greatest regret? To return him to the point in his life when the only person that ever mattered in his life had already turned away.

[aventurineswife]

hear me out: sunday x reader, but when Sunday was Bronze Melodia and reader is someone who Gopher (and by extension, Sunday bc y’know grooming.) considers a sinner. Sunday finds himself falling for reader, but kinda mentally battling between love and what he was taught. aka religious trauma sunday ig (bonus points if he argues w gophers nasty ahh)

u can decide what to do with the rest :D just a lil concept i wanted to throw out

"Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies."

Summary: You are deemed as a "sinner" by the Oak Family, led by Gopher Wood, and is frequently summoned to the Dreamscape. Sunday, once a revered figure as Bronze Melodia, is tasked with guiding lost souls, but he begins to question the teachings he’s spent his life upholding. As he finds himself drawn to you, his inner battle between duty and newfound emotions intensifies. Torn between his role and the love he’s beginning to feel, Sunday faces a difficult choice—one that challenges the very core of his existence within the Oak Family.

Tags: Sunday x Reader, Religious Trauma, Forbidden Love, Angst, Slow Burn, Emotional Struggle, Conflicted Feelings.

Warnings: Religious themes (exploration of indoctrination and guilt), Emotional conflict (internal struggles, self-doubt, and identity crisis), Mentorship/Manipulation, Angst (heavy emotional tension and heartache), Mild violence(?).

In the Dreamscape, Sunday is Bronze Melodia—a revered figure among Penacony's people, tasked with guiding lost souls under the Oak Family's watchful eye. You've become his frequent visitor, someone Gopher Wood has labeled a “sinner,” a title that weighs heavily on your shoulders and darkens your interactions in the Dreamscape. Gopher’s sermons have painted you as a threat to the Order, yet there's something about you that draws Sunday closer, unsettling the foundations of everything he’s been taught.

It begins in quiet moments: Sunday, reserved yet diligent, listens as you confide your thoughts and fears. You sense his inner conflict in the way his hands tremble ever so slightly as they rest on the pages of his book, the way his gaze occasionally softens before hardening again. He's polite, distant as Bronze Melodia, yet there’s an undeniable pull between you—one that frightens and fascinates him.

One evening, when the weight of Gopher’s teachings grows too heavy, Sunday finds himself seeking solace in your presence. As you speak, he’s caught between his role and the truth that he feels stirring within. You challenge the ideals he's held all his life, quietly unraveling the bindings of his loyalty to Gopher’s ideals. But still, he’s torn. He’s been raised to believe you’re dangerous, yet your gentleness speaks louder than Gopher’s condemnations.

Sunday can’t help but wrestle with his emotions in moments of solitude, replaying your words and Gopher's warnings over and over. The idea that love and care could exist outside of the Order’s defined “purity” haunts him, conflicting with the strict doctrines he’s internalized. Finally, unable to stay silent, he confronts Gopher.

In a tense exchange, Sunday questions Gopher's labeling of you as a “sinner,” a term that has started to feel hollow in the face of what he feels for you. Gopher's response is calm but chilling, reminding Sunday of his place, of the Order that has made him who he is. Yet Sunday doesn’t back down entirely, holding onto the fragments of his love for you. In the end, Gopher leaves him with a choice—one that could seal his fate within the Oak Family or cast him out as an exile.

Sunday returns to you, conflicted but resolute. He confides in you, sharing the depth of his battle against the values ingrained in him. Your presence becomes a grounding force, something that feels like hope amidst his turmoil. While he’s not ready to completely turn away from the Dreamscape and the Oak Family, he begins to imagine a world where he can both honor his beliefs and explore the connection that has grown between you.

(Art credit to @oversaltedcat on Twitter/X)

[ultimatelyunassuming]

Shoutout to the five intermission fans who follow each other on here. We are holding hands and skipping around. Put in the tags why you like them.

[whentherewerebicycles]

a bunch of people have already registered for my mentoring workshop! unfortunately this means i have to plan and host a workshop aaaaaa

[tracing-rivers]

The Devil Wears Prada movie is a psychological thriller camouflaged as a chick flick

The Devil Wears Prada book is an anticapitalist manifesto camouflaged as an airport novel

Hope this helps

[yantalksabtygo]

I think about this message I sent to my friend a lot

[delicatelysublimeforester]

Promoting Literacy through Nature: Building Sustainable and Peaceful Societies

[lets-try-some-writing]

THIS.

THIS WHOLE CONCEPT

I LOVE IT

It keeps with the theme of Cybertronians being alien, and yet it gives them connection in a meaningful way that mirrors a human familial bond. And the idea of a clan as a sort of family unit instead of anything else. It's perfect for such a species, and I think it adds depth to Cybertronians as a whole. Bound in brotherhood that far exceeds the bounds of war. Tied together in mentorship and study even in the most brutal of eras.

It is such a small detail, but one that makes me smile. Especially seeing it from Arcee. Her and Ultra Magnus having had such a bond is the cherry on top.

[ditzybat]

i need a himbo bruce au where he never became batman, his kids however, they are all vigilantes and try their best to keep it a secret from their father - how they become vigilantes? who knows, maybe they took up mentorships with other heroes or villains. still, their morals kept them on the 'good' side of the law as best as it could - but bruce while being incredibly intelligent and likely a doctor (because i imagine he would finish med school in this au) doesn't realize how odd it is that his kids disappear in the night and have a plethora of wounds he tends to almost daily.

oh well, to him they're just crazy kids and definitely not a modge-podge of ex-assassins and bird themed vigilantes.

[caturnmoon]

Astrology Observations #️⃣7️⃣ 🎰✨

🎃Happy Halloween/Samhain everyone👻🕸️✨

🔪Scorpio Mars women in the 8th house, are your menstrual cycles absolute hell? I salute you. Lol

🔪Leo sun people in the 12th house shine without even intending to. This placement is similar to Leo moons in that yall shine from the inside out with your sun being in a hidden mystical house like the 12th. So beautiful!

🔪If you have Virgo ruling your second house you could be someone who heavily invests in health and wellness products! Since the 2nd house is income and values this could also be a source of income for you as someone working in these areas too. You take your health very seriously and longevity is everything to you.

🔪Also, I have a friend with Taurus Sun in the second house, and she’s the epitome of the Taurus foodie stereotype. Lol 🌮 more so than any other Taurus I’ve known. Taurus is at home in the second, so it makes sense.

🔪Neptune in the 8th house 🫱🏻‍🫲🏾 attracting paranormal experiences without even trying to. You are like a beacon for the spiritual realm with your natural ability to pierce the veil. Y’all need to practice aura cleansing and spiritual hygiene on a routine basis to prevent darker energies from clinging to you!

🔪Sagittarius moons need the freedom to process their emotions through means of exploring external stimuli.

🔪Having your Jupiter in Virgo could indicate success in larger organizations that’s related to Virgo themes like analytical research, medicine, or wellness/nutrition. Theres an ease of accumulating mentorship and knowledge in these areas.

🔪Pluto in the 10th could indicate that you may exude a powerful public image and exert control over others and their perception of you. You don’t like appearing vulnerable or exploiting weaknesses for others to use against you. Perhaps this has been done to you at some point in life.

🔪Having Uranus aspect your ascendant could indicate that your appearance undergo sudden unexpected changes often. You may love experimenting with looks that may stand out or “shock” others. There may be a love of tattoos or piercings too.

🔪Having Capricorn rule your 6th house could indicate restriction in health and potential health issues. It is important to care for your health as you age!

🔪Having Venus conjunct or trine your north node could point to learning through relationships being an important theme in this lifetime. You may grow and learn more about yourself through these relationships.

🔪Having Mercury in the 3rd house could indicate analysis paralysis with too much flow of information. Could also indicate being a “know it all”. Lol you could communicate best via writing and also have impeccable handwriting!

🔪North node in the 7th house could emphasize learning the art of compromise in your relationships in this lifetime. Instead of putting your needs first and foremost, (south node 1st house) it’s important to consider balancing your needs with the needs of others in order to flourish.

[personastrologyhub]

Degree Theory Series: The Leo Degrees (5°, 17°, 29°): Unveiling the Complexities of Power, Prestige, and Presence

☆ Leo degrees represent a striking influence—one that combines ambition, charisma, romance, and a near-magical allure. The house that Leo is in your chart is reflective of the area of life that you have the potential to receive a lot of attention.  It is literally the sign of reaching for the stars.   But beneath the well-known themes of fame, leadership, and power, these degrees have deeper, sometimes hidden qualities that shape the lives they touch. Here’s an exploration into these powerful degrees, plus the distinctive flavors they create when combined with different planetary energies.

5° Leo: The Catalyst for Expression and Presence

Keywords: Bold action, self-expression, initiator, elite status, teaching and guidance.

☆° ✩࿐

Personality and Physicality: Known as a degree that heightens presence, 5° Leo lends a dignified, commanding air that can be quite magnetic. David Hasselhoff’s for example has a Venus at 5 degrees of Leo. Back in the day, David was known for his magnetic charm and stage presence. He had set the Guinness world record of the most watched man on Tv. This degree supports his appeal as the central figure of Baywatch, Knight Rider and other things, and it shows his ability to thrive under the spotlight. He had set the Guinness world record of the most watched man on Tv.

5° Leo isn’t just the “leader” degree; it often marks those who naturally attract authority and influence without having to seek it.

Hidden Quality of Resourcefulness: A lesser-known quality of 5° Leo is its connection to resourcefulness in high-stakes situations. Those with this degree on key planets often discover remarkable ingenuity under pressure, especially in challenging or isolating circumstances. To thrive in the spotlight, you have to be very resilient.

17° Leo: The Degree of Visionary Influence and Endurance

Keywords: Legacy, public service, intellectual pursuits, mentorship, teaching roles, family connections.

Social Reach and Legacy: 17° Leo reflects someone whose influence extends over time, resonating through a legacy, particularly through teaching, law, or service roles. the 17th degree is the 2nd highest degree amongst the leo degrees (5, and 29 are the other leo degrees) meaning that it has a “longevity” behind it. There’s often a connection to mentorship or guiding others, and those with 17° Leo placements may be naturally drawn to academia, justice, or philosophical pursuits. They often think in terms of generations and long-term impacts.

Oprah has her MC in 17 degree of Libra.

Elvis Presley is a prominent example of a celebrity with a 17° placement, specifically with his Sun at 17° Capricorn, which is influenced by the “Leo degree” due to degree theory. This degree is associated with lasting fame, a magnetic stage presence, and the ability to create legacy and extend over time. Elvis Presleys music has the ability to transcend time—this aligns with Elvis’s legendary status as the “King of Rock and Roll.” The 17° Leo degree amplifies qualities like charisma, recognition, and impact in the public eye, traits strongly reflected in Elvis’s career and enduring influence in music and culture.

Another example is George Michael, whose Ascendant is at 17° Cancer, lending him a path aligned with Leo qualities—drawing attention, captivating fans, and excelling as a charismatic performer in the entertainment industry. Both figures illustrate how the 17° Leo degree enhances the potential for significant, long-lasting public impact and memorable artistry.

These cases highlight how the 17° degree is seen as one of prestige and enduring influence in charts of famous figures, marking individuals with an aura of distinction and an ability to maintain a lasting legacy in their field.

The Role of Family and Support: This degree frequently connects individuals with family lineage, both in values and sometimes through inheritance or positions of responsibility within family networks. The “father” degree, it suggests an ability to support or uplift family lines or nations—carrying a certain gravitas that inspires collective respect. Just as 17° Leo was prominent in Bill Clinton’s chart, it speaks to enduring influence, as well as the idea of a “national father figure.” Again with Presley he was considered the Father or King of Rock and Roll.

Lesser-Known Influence in Social Structure: Lesser known is 17° Leo’s gift for navigating social structures, from rallying support to surviving intrigue. Individuals with this degree may exhibit a resilient streak, successfully facing threats or challenges within power structures=Much like Elvis who did receive multiple death threats and kidnap warnings, particularly while performing in Las Vegas. 

29° Leo: The Degree of Transformative Leadership and Strategic Vision

Keywords: Finality, transformation, intuition, covert planning, prestige, challenging circumstances.

Mystery and Power Dynamics: Known as an “anaretic” degree, 29° Leo carries themes of completion, change, and high-stakes decisions. People with this degree tend to face intense personal or public challenges that demand creative problem-solving and often put them in complex or strategic roles. A bit of a “chameleon” degree, it suggests someone who can operate under the radar and emerge victorious, often as a reformer or innovator within traditional structures.  Leaders like Winston Churchill, who had his Moon at 29° Leo, epitomize the strength of this degree. Similarly, Donald Trump's 29° Leo Ascendant underscores a charismatic presence and his controversial but impactful role in the public sphere, navigating complex political power structures. They guy became the president of the United States at one point and is up for office again. 

Transformation and Symbolic Rebirth: 29° Leo may indicate the ability to work behind the scenes or in covert ways, potentially in intelligence, diplomacy, or advocacy roles where resilience is paramount. Often, individuals here face life events that force them to “become someone new,” such as a leader rising unexpectedly or a figure dealing with transformative personal setbacks. Just as Churchill rose during Britain’s darkest hour, those with 29° Leo can emerge from crises as symbols of strength and change. his degree also enhances adaptability, suggesting a capacity to emerge stronger after setbacks or public scrutiny. This is also seen in Drake (BBL Drizzy) and Heidi Klum, both with Ascendants at 29°, which contributes to their enduring relevance and adaptability in the ever-changing entertainment landscape.

Lesser-Known Themes of Hidden Loyalty: There’s also a lesser-known aspect of loyalty and readiness to defend others, even to the point of self-sacrifice. This degree attracts followers or allies who support them in unlikely ways, often during critical transitions or public shifts.

Planetary Combinations:

Mercury at 29° Leo: Mercury here indicates someone who speaks with finality and influence, often giving speeches or communications with a lasting impact. They may find themselves in pivotal discussions, historical moments, or transformative media.

Pluto at 29° Leo: This pairing suggests a powerful leader who can influence others profoundly, sometimes by overturning existing power structures. Pluto at 29° Leo is highly transformative, especially in public roles, and may attract both fame and intrigue, giving the individual an almost mythic quality.

Uranus at 29° Leo: With Uranus, there’s a push for radical change and an ability to innovate under pressure. Individuals with this placement can disrupt the status quo effectively and are unafraid to act independently, even if it means losing support temporarily. Their vision is ahead of its time, and they may be involved in pioneering work or historic moments of change.

Hidden Qualities Across the Leo Degrees

Each of these degrees in Leo also carries unique subtleties, especially when it comes to handling public pressure, love for prestige, and overcoming personal trials. Whether seen in how they survive adversities (often with an unexpected inner resilience) or in their commitment to their people or causes, Leo degrees add depth and charisma that’s impossible to ignore.

If you hold one of these degrees in a major placement, consider it a call to embody love, loyalty, and leadership in your unique style. The Leo degree asks for authenticity and confidence, even when the stakes are high.

Observation:

Sun at 5° Leo: A classic position for leaders who are highly visible and admired. The Sun here drives an ambition that others respect, even if they don’t fully understand the drive behind it. There’s a fierce desire to succeed on one’s terms, often in high-profile careers or pursuits.

Moon at 5° Leo: Emotional expression is vital here, with a need to connect in visible, memorable ways. A Moon at 5° Leo can feel happiest when making an impact in social or familial spheres, perhaps guiding or inspiring others. There’s a special talent for evoking loyalty and support from people, often based on an instinctive understanding of group dynamics.

Mars at 5° Leo: Mars here is a warrior spirit that fights with purpose. It’s often associated with a physical stature or confidence that commands space, possibly leading to military or athletic pursuits. There’s a heightened ability to rally others, leading to leadership roles that arise naturally in tense situations.

[whitlovealways8]

Astro Observations Pt 3

I am not a professional astrologer but I have been studying for some years and have made some accurate world predictions; as well as, predictions for myself and loved ones.

Having 12H synastry with someone is like being tethered no matter the distance or time.

Having South Node synastry with someone represents past life connections. I dislike the term karmic for not all past life connections are bad. My son & I have SN synastry.

My 5h is pisces and my son's rising sign is Pisces. 5h definitely does indicate a placement of the big 3 of your first child.

Jupiter transiting the 5h or 5h profection year can bring about children. Speaking from experience.

9H placements would do well in mentorship or educating professions. Sometimes I think I should refocus my career path.

Uranus transits to your personal planets is a great time to learn astrology.

4h synastry feels like a sense of obligation but not in a way that it feels burdensome. U feel you must have that person's back. Like a mother who loves her child even after disappointment.

Cancer moons are very intuitive. They reject people with nasty auras. This is especially true in the children.

I have seen some post about signs of an absent father and I can confirm three. Myself, sun in the 8h. My son, has Saturn in the 12H and SN in the 9H. The 9h too represents the father. I also read the SN in 9h represents the child carrying on the karma from the father, however, generational karam/trauma breakers are born everyday :)

Moon-Saturn harsh aspects & 8h moon endure so much emotional turmoil. I want to hug them all.

I have observed this in a couple people, but I do believe Virgo moons carry a lot of shame. Especially if they had less than an ideal living circumstances as a child.

Capricorn placements are so independent! I wish they would ease up off the hyperindependence.

Pisces rising people have the most beautiful eyes. My son has bright, doe eyes.

Libra & Taurus placements are effortlessly attractive!

Pluto on an angle, esp 1H gives a lot of major life transformations than the average.

The irony of Scorpio risings with a Leo MC, when scorpio wants to be mysterious and leo energy wants to be seen.

I don't like the gossipy trash talk that follows gemini placements/3housers. Like Penelope Bridgerton said, "Gossip is merely information". I do believe these placements, esp geminis tell truthful information. Though I will not discredit that some gossip on a whole can be false.

Libra is to be all about justice but I often find that libra suns (esp the men) lie sooo much. Idk if its because the sun is in detriment.

Mars transiting the 6h is a great time to develop a exercise routine that will stick. Mars in the 6h however, is also a great time to stay away from knives. I cut my finger in the worst way possible when I had a mars cazimi in my 6h.

Use ur lunar return to track your monthly themes for 3 months and see what observations u get

[okiedokrie]

Meet Me In Amsterdam

Summary: "Minghao finds himself under a mentorship program from one of the most brilliant artist in the contemporary circle, where he meets Y/N and bond with their journey through art, overcoming traumas, and hopeless romanticism of the life and love around them. But all things come to an end at some point, the mentorship program ends, and they both go back to their lives. But they do meet again to finish what they started; 'if there is a next time, meet me in Amsterdam.'"

Characters/Pairing: Artist!Minghao x Artist!Fem!Reader

Genre: smut, some angst, fluff

AU/Trope Info: Non-idol AU!, idiots to lovers

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: Religious themes, implication of past sexual assault, homophobia mention, some cursing, food mentions, smut warnings under the cut

Rating: 18+

A/N: this is for the @svthub 2024 world tour collab! Thanks to @whipped-for-kpop-fics and @hobeemin for beta-reading!

Smut Warnings: oral (f receiving), sex in a church, unprotected sex, implied creampie

The air in Minghao's studio is dizzying. A broken exhaust and paint fumes don't really mix, and his open windows could only do so much. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Touching grass may solve his problem, but he doesn't feel like dealing with the morning dew on the grass.

He quickly closed his windows before packing all his belongings in his commuting bag, opting to rush to a recent exhibit that opened. Minghao knew very little about the artist, but a change of scenery might help quell his throbbing headache. 

Minghao took this opportunity to space out during the commute to the gallery, popping on his headphones and trying to ignore the touchy couples in the train car with him. He wonders what it'll feel like to find his person like them; Minghao only craves the warmth of another's arms.

He wonders what it'll feel like to fall for someone, to be comfortable with vulnerability and the trusting bond between two lovers. Ever the hopeless romantic, he'd love to love and be loved.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the intercom buzzed to life, announcing the arrival at Minghao’s stop. Adjusting the strap of his messenger bag, he pushed his way through the busy crowd to head out of the station. The walk to the gallery was calm and relatively quiet. This part of the city mostly had walking paths rather than roads, so it was really only bustling with people and the occasional bicycle. 

Arriving at the gallery, the pieces were gorgeous, as expected. This artist was well known in the contemporary circle, so it's no surprise that the gallery is almost busier than the outside. Minghao felt drawn to one piece in particular, the warm tones, swirling and melting into one another, blending into a flame-like flow; it was stationary yet moving.

He hears a chuckle behind him, only to see an older man, about mid-forties, smiling at him. “I see you enjoy this piece; you have great taste. What's your name, boy?” 

Minghao is a little flustered, but he introduces himself nonetheless. The man before him introduced himself as the artist and noticed Minghao's paint-stained hands before asking if he was an artist himself. Minghao confirmed the older man’s speculations, offering to show some of his work as photos on his phone. The older man was impressed by Minghao’s talent and potential, and he then mentioned that he had an apprenticeship program open, but it was in Amsterdam. 

Minghao agreed a little too enthusiastically, seeing as this man quite literally defined an era of art in a way nobody else has.

It was only a few weeks after that interaction, but Minghao found himself on a flight to Amsterdam.

Taking in the city's air, Minghao feels a sense of dread washing over him, and the hustle and bustle of a new city scares him a bit. Being alone in a foreign land wasn't why his nerves were all over the place; no, it was the fact that he felt this opportunity wasn't meant to be his.

Sure, his mentor got the opportunity to see his work before he accepted the offer, but still, he feels this mentorship program would've been more suited to someone more fitting.

Nonetheless, Minghao is here now. And he swears he'll make the most of the time he spends here.

Taking one of the many old trains out of the airport, the rumbling train rails helped ground him a little; the sound was new and familiar at the same time. He thought back to his small studio back home, wondering how well it'd hold up in the year he'd be gone.

Minghao is snapped out of his daydreams when the train arrives at his station. He lugs his luggage to what will be his living quarters for the rest of his time here. Wiping his palms over his sweats, he finally takes the time to haul his bags over the stairs to the small apartment that was provided to him. His mentor mentioned that he has a roommate, another artist in the program, so he doesn't let his stuff get too comfortable in the main room.

Instead, he randomly picks one of the rooms, hoping his roommate doesn't mind. If they did, it's not as if he's opposed to switching. 

He hums a simple melody while setting his bags to the side, still catching up to the jetlag and too tired to put anything away. He inspects the room, noting that it is a little dusty. He has to settle his sheets and wipe everything down before he can get too comfortable.

He thinks that heading out for brunch is a good idea, guessing that his roommate would most likely want to get situated in peace. He gets his wallet and phone and heads out to find somewhere to eat.

The streets weren't too busy. It was midday and the middle of the week, and most likely, people were still at their jobs. Still, they were full of people to the point that Minghao felt the pressure of needing to always be on the move. He constantly tried to go with the flow of the crowds while trying to find an establishment he could eat at, preferably something to quell his growing homesickness.

He stumbles across what seems to be a small business with very familiar-looking signs. Bingo! It's a Chinese restaurant! He thanks whatever force managed to lead him here before he enters the restaurant. The distinct smell of the classic spice mix calms his nerves, and his posture relaxes significantly. 

The man at the counter doesn't look up from his paper, pointing at a booth near the back where Minghao could set his stuff before ordering. The curt behavior of the man doesn't phase him; in fact, it comforts him. He sets his bag down before standing at the counter, reading over the signs that were both in Mandarin and English. He starts ordering his food in Mandarin, finally getting the man at the counter to notice him. He nods in understanding, taking his order diligently before yelling his order at the cook at the back.

He pays, nods at the man again, and gets situated at his table. Getting comfortable with the smell of the food cooking and the chatter of the people around him. He fiddles with his phone a little, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram to see what his friends are up to. Mingyu got another modeling gig, Jungkook with his new single, and Dokyeom got to play Orpheus in Hadestown. 

Soon enough, he doesn't realize how much time has passed, only noticing that his food was ready when the waitress hurriedly slides his food onto the table and takes his table number. Mumbling thanks, which he believes she ignores, Minghao starts to eat his food.

This is so good, actually; I need to post this to my story.

Minghao took a picture of his food. The digital camera shutter almost distracted him from the sound of someone bumping into the table next to him. 

“Oh! Sorry, sorry!” A feminine voice said, frantically apologizing to the patron at said table, holding her hip. She desperately tried to wipe up anything that was spilled, apologizing profusely. Minghao got up from his table and offered to help her, wiping up the mess with her like the gentleman he was. Once the table was free from any spills, she apologized again to the person at the table and Minghao for troubling him.

“It’s fine; accidents happen all the time. Just be more mindful next time.” He says calmly, returning to his booth before a smaller hand grabs his arm. 

“Uh, I can't find a place to sit. Would you mind sharing a table with me?” she asked shyly but politely. Minghao shakes his head no. Offering her a polite smile as they walk back to their now shared table, she leaves her items in his care before going to order her food.

Minghao finally gets to enjoy the food he ordered. The decadent aroma was mouth-watering, and most importantly, it reminded him of home. It helps warm him up, literally and figuratively. He chews slowly, savoring the flavors of his food as usual. He'd always been a slow eater, slow enough for the lady he shares a table with to get her food and finish eating with him.

They both get up from their table with a curt nod of acknowledgment. Thinking this would be the last time they'd ever interact, Minghao didn't bother introducing himself. And neither does she. 

Yet, Minghao can't seem to shake the feeling of disappointment once he leaves her.

Minghao finally arrives at his apartment, ready to settle down after a long day of exploring the city and taking photos of places that inspire him. He closes the door, running a hand through his hair to look around the living room. 

He nearly dropped his camera when he saw the girl from the restaurant staring back at him, and he almost dropped the tray of paints from the shock.

“What are you doing here?!” She asked, surprised and on alert. Minghao could only guess what emotions she was going through at that moment. A random man she met once is suddenly in her apartment. Oh dear.

Minghao starts to feel panic settle into him, too. Both of them look like deer in headlights, trying to make sense of the situation. 

“Oh- uh- fuck, I live here!” Minghao says frantically, holding both his hands up in a show of innocence, showing his copy of the keys to their apartment.

Her posture immediately relaxed a little, “Oh uh, so, you're my roommate? I'm Y/n, by the way.” She says, still a little weary of him. He doesn't blame her; he did come in unannounced.

“It's nice to meet you again, I mean. I'm Minghao. Let's try to get along for this mentorship program, yeah?” He says, scratching the back of his head. “I'm gonna go head to bed; I'm exhausted from all the traveling, so uh, yeah.”

Minghao hoped his exit wasn't too awkward. Maybe it was, but he was too tired to deal with the intricacies of small talk. He changed his sheets quickly, throwing the old sheets into the wash before doing his nightly routine. He crashed into his new, cool sheets and drifted off into dreamland. 

It was the next morning, and the warmth of the sunlight was seeping in through the cracks between the curtains. He blinks away the sleep from his eyes, rubbing his face into his palms. He sits up and shakes his head to fight off the rest of his fatigue. He was always a morning person, but the jetlag is making it a bit too difficult for him to uphold that. 

His morning routine was simple: shower, get dressed, make-up and hair, breakfast, and out. He rarely breaks from this simple pattern, which consistently makes life easier for him. So it came as a surprise to him that he didn't have to make breakfast this time since his roommate kindly left a portion for him. 

He thinks this is such a nice gesture to leave for the guy who scared her half to death yesterday. Maybe this was a sort of peace offering to make getting along easier? Either way, he won't complain—it's just another thing to make his life a little easier.

His roommate is nowhere to be seen, most likely already on his way to the studio to meet their mentor. So Minghao also leaves the apartment, making sure to lock the door on his way out. He pops his headphones on, listening to his favorite commute playlist with a lightness in his step, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

The train ride to the studio was calm; the morning train was much less busy than the afternoon one he took when he arrived, so he got the opportunity to sit down and enjoy the book he recently got. It was a story about two soulmates finding each other in the middle of a city that was new to both of them; he thinks that maybe he's starting to lean into the hopeless romantic stereotype that his friends would always compare him to, which, he could never beat the allegations. 

His mind drifts to his art, and he describes how the romanticization of life became a heavy inspiration for his work. Minghao loves the strokes of color on the canvas as much as he loves life, and his passion for existence weaves itself between the fibers of his canvas.

After being snapped out of his daydreams by the conductor, he feels a sense of deja vu; he finds himself in his head constantly these days. He is always such a dreamer.

The doors of the train open with a mechanical hiss, old rails squeaking under the friction. He thinks the train still needs to go through the desperately needed maintenance. Same train, same. He thought to himself, stuffing his book back into his back with a huff.

Minghao takes in the scenery around him; this part of the city is much less busy than where his apartment was, so he could finally appreciate the city's beauty without the pressure of constantly having to be on the move.

His mentor's building comes into view. It is an older building; the exterior has long since been weathered, but history still makes it gorgeous. He noticed that buildings, most of them having yet to be touched since they were first built, added a charm to an otherwise monotonous city.

He pushes in the door, noting that his only option for getting to the studio is a set of ancient, creaky wooden steps. Minghao is lightheaded from looking at the flight of stairs, so he doesn't bother counting how many floors he has to climb just to get to his mentor. 

I have to climb this every day. I don't need to bother with leg day here. He thought to himself, already making the long trek up the stairs. 

It wasn’t that long—about 5 minutes of walking time—but it felt like an eternity to him. Walking was no issue; walking upstairs? Torture. The first treadmill was a step design, so it may not be an exaggeration. 

Minghao finally reaches the top of the stairwell, pausing to catch his breath in an attempt to look presentable to his mentor and possibly his roommate. He stands by the door for a while, mentally preparing himself for the first day of the program. He arrives earlier than the agreed-upon time, so he's not in a rush to make his presence known.

He takes his water bottle out of his bag, puts cool water in it, and helps his poor self finally calm down from his mini workout. He curses whoever designed this stairwell. A five-story building should have an elevator, and arguing that it doesn't need one feels like a hate crime.

He stops himself before arguing with fictitious architects, who are probably long gone, about how old the building looks. Anyway, he finally has a hand on the doorknob to the studio; taking a deep breath one last time, he twists the knob and pushes the door open, the old wood creaking in protest from the force of him opening it. He cringes internally, the squeak passing straight through his skull, making him want to grind his teeth in annoyance.

Still, he doesn’t show his disdain for this geriatric building on his face since his mentor and roommate both whip their heads around to see him at the doorway. Suddenly, having two sets of eyes on you doesn't help the nerves. 

He offers a polite smile, successfully fighting his grimace with a more pleasant expression. Both his mentor and roommate smile back. He noticed his mentor was a lot more relaxed than when he first met him, which makes sense. He is where he's most comfortable—in his very own studio.

Minghao feels the same about his tiny studio back home. He steps further into the bright studio, closing the door behind him. The studio's top floor and many large windows bring loads of natural light, making it feel more comfortable and inviting. Couple that with the fact that it's in a relatively quiet part of the city, and he feels as if his mentor really put thought into every detail of his permanent studio.

Minghao wonders when he will be able to get the studio of his dreams in his art career, but for now, he admires the studio. His mentor greets him and urges him to explore and get acquainted with the space. Since he'll be spending most of his time here in Amsterdam. Minghao nods, dropping his bag on the cubbies near the door and carefully walking around the studio, avoiding the items and canvases scattered around the floor. His mentor seemed to have an organized chaos mindset, seemingly not bothered by the mess or the health hazard tripping on any of these might cause.

He finds it amusing how much of his mentor he finds out about just from looking around his workspace. He has a husband, married young, it seems. He has twin girls, who he can only assume are grown now. He used to have a dog, a poodle named ‘Cloud’ despite being a black poodle. He made prints of older paintings before sending them off to an auction for fundraisers. He remembers those fundraisers very fondly, it seems. 

Minghao also finds the bathroom and takes note of its location for future use; he’s definitely going to use that. He joins his mentor and roommate by the window, then takes the time to drink their morning coffee and watch the birds. His mentor offers him coffee, but Minghao asks if he has tea. His mentor confirms that he does and points toward his pantry, which is just a wooden cubby that he appropriated to be a pantry after he got tired of getting his snacks off the floor, sighting back pains.

Minghao calmly prepares his tea, passively listening to the conversation between his mentor and roommate. They seem to get along well. Maybe his mentor has some fondness for her because she reminds him of his daughters. He could only guess, though.

Minghao finishes making his tea and finally joins them by the window. “Are you guys birdwatching?” he asks, joining in the conversation. 

“Yes! Mr. Jones was talking about how his youngest loved visiting his studio just to view the birds.” His roommate answers, his mentor confirming it. Though he does mention that she doesn’t visit as often—after all, she has a family of her own now—when she visits, she brings his grandchildren with her, which makes the old man happy. 

He adopted his twin girls pretty early in life, seeing them as inspiration for most of his work. The way his mentor talks about his family and life with so much pride makes Minghao think about his future. He wonders if he’ll ever be as proud of his life as his mentor is, but considering he’ll be learning everything this man can offer, he’s pretty confident about that, at least.

After finishing their morning drinks, his mentor started his first assignment for them, one of many he’d assign throughout the program. His mentor was a patient and calm man. His instruction and tips for injecting emotion into your piece were very cohesive; it was almost like he got it down to a science. His enthusiasm and passion for his work were truly remarkable, and getting to witness it and learn from him felt surreal. 

Minghao feels proud of having the opportunity to have him as a mentor. At the end of the day, instead of feeling exhausted, he's excited to learn more from him tomorrow. 

You and Minghao are heading home together after a long day with your mentor, walking silently through the streets; you think that maybe he just doesn't like you, seeing how he practically jumps at every accidental graze of your hands with each other.

You don't really blame him either; your first impression wasn't exactly the greatest, seeing as someone cussed you out in the middle of a Chinese restaurant. That impression was a strong one, but unfortunately, not a good one.

Minghao and you shuffle into the same train car, getting pressed together as a consequence of rush hour. You try not to think about what your roommate, who is basically still a stranger to you, feels like. He's warm, and you can definitely feel that he is in shape. You definitely try not to think about how tall he is or how handsome he is.

He's so polite, too, and very gentlemanly. He's always conscious of his movement and language around you, protecting you from being squeezed in this tiny train car without him even noticing. It was basically second nature to him.

Oh, you're never going to survive with this man for a year; you're definitely not going to stay sane with him living with you. Your mind starts reeling, cursing whatever deity thought it was funny to send over a walking wet dream of a roommate to your sex-deprived self. 

You'd hope Minghao doesn't notice how you fought for your life, trying to have decent thoughts. You felt extremely guilty for thinking of him as such, he's just minding his business, and you're acting like some horny teenager. You hope you don't offend him with how much you flinch in every interaction with him. 

The last thing you'd want is for him to think he was the problem.

Luckily for you, Minghao always seemed to be in his head most of the time, mindlessly picking at the stitching of his shirt and spacing out, it seems. At least you don't have to worry about him secretly being a mind-reader. The chances are low, but they're never zero. 

You also take this as an opportunity to start spacing out, looking out the window to watch the buildings and trees pass by quickly, enjoying the golden glow of the setting sun over the city. This scene makes you feel bittersweet, as if another day has passed. 

You wanted nothing more than to crash in your bed and sleep until the next morning, but for now, in the middle of this train car, you had to be vigilant of your surroundings. Not just because you're a newbie to this place but because you absolutely cannot get so distracted that you start to lean into your roommate like some deranged weirdo subconsciously. 

The train conductor announcing your stop seemed to snap both you and Minghao out of your daydreams. “Could I hold onto you? I don't wanna get swept up in this crowd,” you asked politely, unable to meet his eyes.

“Uh, sure, hold on.” He said, adjusting his messenger bag so it doesn't block your reach of his arm.

Minghao navigates the flowing crowd with a form of familiarity. It surprised you how well he managed to adjust to the movement of such a busy city. Then again, he could have already come from a much busier city than Amsterdam. Still, you need to learn more about him to make assumptions.

Minghao weaves the two of you through the crowds and out of the station, successfully reaching fresh air once you make it to a calmer sidewalk that was already near your apartment. You wanted to ask him so many questions. You realistically had a little over a year to do so, yet you know how quickly a year actually goes by, so you wanted to work quickly, but not too quickly, that you scare the poor man away.

Arriving at your apartment, Minghao fishes his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door, opens it, and gestures for you to enter first. You say a small ‘thank you’ before entering, taking your shoes off at the entrance and hanging up your coat.

Minghao follows you after you hear the door click behind you. The shuffling of his items as they are hung indicates that he is settling down for the day.

“Hey, Minghao?” You start, wanting to lead a conversation to eliminate the awkwardness between you and your roommate; he hums, fully turning his body to you as if to signal that he is listening. “I just wanted to know what you thought of Mr. Jones. You know, not as a mentor, but as a person.” You asked, thinking it was a safe place to start getting to know him.

He thinks about it momentarily, “I can't say right now; I've only ever known him as a leading force in the contemporary circle, but other than that? Not much. Judging from his relationship with his daughters, he seems like a good father and good husband, as he still spoke about his husband fondly and was pleasant to be around. But other than that, I don't know.” He shrugged, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I don't know,” You answer truthfully, “I like him a lot; he reminds me of my dad somewhat, you know, except maybe less of a religious nut.” You joke, gauging to see Minghao's reaction to it; luckily for you, Minghao finds it funny. Offering a restrained pfft- at your quip.

“Yeah, I get that; my dad was the same too. But I like him a lot less than Mr. Jones.” He said through laughter, running his hands through his hair. “I'll go take a shower; see you around, Y/n.” 

And with that, he disappears into his en-suite. 

You celebrate the tiny progress you made with your roommate, and you get to exchange words with him that aren't just common pleasantries. This motivates you to fan the spark of this new friendship, and maybe more, if you play your cards right.

It's too early to say you liked him, but he is objectively very attractive. So you can't really blame yourself for ogling at him. Respectfully, of course.

You also prepare for your night routine, opting to go through your entire skincare routine for the first time in forever after showering. You put on your best pajamas and tuck yourself into bed, dreaming of the day your hot roommate sees you how you want him to.

Kidding, not really.

Minghao has yet to learn what he's doing.

He'd been staring blankly at his canvas for what seemed like a solid 20 minutes, these inner thoughts fighting for dominance and splattering their metaphorical blood all over the pristine canvas.

He wanted to paint something so badly, but alas, getting struck with a severe art block on the second day of his mentorship felt like a sick joke from fate. His mentor watches over their shoulders, monitoring their progress. He seemed to notice Minghao's growing frustration from being stuck, “I think you should take a break, son. You should enjoy some tea by the window and clear your mind to make room for new ideas.” he said gently with a hand on Minghao’s shoulder.

Minghao agrees with him, finally setting his brush down to make his tea as usual before getting comfortable on one of the chairs by the window. He watches the trees sway in the wind, the birds playing on a random rooftop, and the clouds drifting slowly. All of these help calm his racing mind, which is preoccupied with so many things to think about that he doesn't have room to think about new ideas.

Minghao has a nasty habit of overthinking and holding onto ideas that no longer serve him a purpose. He thinks back to the first time he did this, the day he decided to become an artist. He's always known that he wanted to be an artist. He was eight at the time, telling his parents about his dreams for the future. 

Unfortunately, they disapproved of such plans. The first thought Minghao ever held onto was, “You need to aspire to get a real job, not just some useless skill that will leave you with no money.”

The second thought Minghao held onto happened at around the age of 17, just before graduating high school. He decided not to go to college, seeing that he still held out hope that he could become a great artist one day. He wanted to prioritize honing his skills, and his parents, once again, didn't approve of that.

That was the first time he ever felt fear from his parents. Before, he was only met with stern lecturing and maybe being grounded, but he never saw his dad that angry before or ever since. Since that day, Minghao has held onto the following: “If you're going to choose to throw your life away, then so be it. Just don't come crawling back here when you end up on the streets!”

Minghao doesn't want to recall the last thought he held onto; the memory is still fresh and feels like a weapon being used against him. He wished it didn't turn out that way, but it did. And there's nothing he could do to change the facts.

Minghao savors the flavors of his tea before finally trying his best to get rid of all those thoughts he holds onto. He's far away from his parents, far away from the people who could hurt him, and far away from the past.

He finally stops overthinking as soon as he sets his cup down, wiping off his palms on his pants before joining his roommate and mentor again. His head was finally free of any troubles he might've had. But he knows he's never truly free, only temporarily setting it aside to focus on his current goals.

He feels a sense of pride while he is painting this time. Strokes of vibrant color dance across the weaving of the canvas, and his brush glides smoothly and freely across it, finding a path of its own, making its mark like it was always meant to do.

In a way, it was freeing to paint without the pressure of making it look ‘good’, Minghao only had to focus on laying a color down the way it wanted to lay, and this show of emotion sparked a flame of determination in Minghao that he thought he lost so long ago.

Minghao finally sees the colors for what they are again, and in a way, he starts falling in love with creating again. His joy is evident on his face, and the controlled strokes slowly turn into free ones with every passing moment. 

He looks away from his canvas once to look at you, and he smiles the biggest smile you've ever seen on him. And you realize his smile is contagious, absolutely stunning in a way you've never felt before.

That smile was detrimental to your poor little heart, your small crush on him only worsening. You think it's a bit unfair that the universe had to dangle such a gorgeous specimen in front of you. You didn't even have an idea if he was single or not. He could have a wife and kids back home and you'd be none the wiser.

Still, you enjoy his company while you can. After all, it's not like you applied for this mentorship just to mingle. You were here to learn under a great artist, and to gain the experiences necessary to advance your career and skill.

Having a hot roommate is a nice touch, though.

“Hey Minghao?” You ask from the living room, looking up from your book to look at him in your tiny kitchen. 

“Yeah?” He replied, not looking up from the stove. It was the weekend, and Minghao offered to make dinner as you’ve been making breakfast for the past few days.

“Are you in a relationship? If you don’t mind me asking.” You asked, the question has been bugging you for a while now, ever since you realized your tiny crush. You’d feel incredibly guilty if he was in a relationship and you tried shooting your shot with him.

“No. But why do you ask?” He said simply, focusing more of his attention to not burning the food. Stir-frying the noodles with familiarity.

“Nothing, I just thought about it.” You paused, “We’re friends, right?” You finished with a question, thinking that maybe your line of questioning might be too much for someone who doesn’t even consider you more than a roommate.

“Of course. I like your company, I don’t have a reason to try and alienate you.” He said, now with more focus on you as he turned the fire of the stove down. Plating your food in one of the plates your apartment came with.

“Cool. We’re cool.” You said a little awkwardly, thinking that maybe your questioning was a bit too on the nose. Even if he wasn’t a mind-reader, he’ll surely be able to tell that you’re interested in him just from your weird line of questioning in recent days. Surely Minghao isn’t dense.

Minghao called you over to your dining room table, saying that dinner was already served. You rise from your comfortable position on the couch, making your way over to the tiny table in the space between the living room and kitchen.

“I hope you like the food, it's something I always used to make in college. It was one of the few luxuries I could afford, but it’s still very delicious,” he said, serving you a portion before taking some for himself.

“Thank you for making dinner. This looks amazing, I’m honored to try it.” You said, taking in the sight of the food that Minghao made with care. Minghao feels a sense of pride from your praise, sure, he’s not the best cook, but he’s definitely proud of the progress he made in recent years. 

Cooking was one of the first skills Minghao had to learn when he got kicked out of his parents’ place. Having focused all his energy on studying before, he only really had the time to learn how to take care of himself once he was on his own.

Watching you eat his food enthusiastically made Minghao unexpectedly happy. Sharing something he was proud of is often how he tries to get close to people, the little piece of vulnerability made him feel closer to them, like offering a piece of himself to them.

To you, this may have felt like a simple dinner, a meal between two friends in the comfort of their own home. But to Minghao, this was him accepting you into his space. Finally being comfortable enough to associate you to a dish he holds almost sacred.

The days easily turned into weeks, weeks into months, and before you knew it, it's already six months into your mentorship program. The days began to blur into each other, the most interesting thing that happened in the six months was your budding relationship with your roommate, whom you found out to be as much of a hopeless romantic as you are.

Your weekdays were spent at the studio, diligently working under your mentor and improving your art. While your weekdays were spent unwinding and spending time with your new friend. Minghao's taste in movies doesn't differ much from yours, opting to watch romantic movies with happy endings. 

It was during one of these movie nights that Minghao asked you a question, “Do you believe in true love? ‘The one’, so to speak. Someone that is a perfect fit for you as you are to them.”

You think about this question for a bit, “Yeah, I do. It's a little silly to ask for perfection, but if someone is perfect to you, I think that's pretty plausible. Though, I do think true love is more of a choice than just aimlessly searching for them, you know?” You answered carefully, eyes still glued to the tv screen.

“I see,” Minghao started, “do you have an idea what your ‘one’ might be like?” He asked, this time a little more determined to get a more pointed answer from you.

“Not necessarily, but I already have a feeling that I know them already.” You said, relaxing and leaning back onto the couch, “Or, at least I hope I do. And I hope they see me like that too.” You sighed, wishful thinking taking over you again.

Over time, your little crush on Minghao had grown into a genuine romantic interest, especially since learning that he was single a few weeks ago, you started to see him in a different light. Almost as if the confirmation of his availability gave your subconscious the green light to start thirsting over him like a horny teenager.

It also didn’t help that he got comfortable enough to walk around the house shirtless, or worse, with just a towel loosely around his hips, sitting low as he��s fresh out of the shower. This put you in a loop, almost all thoughts being occupied by him in a sick and twisted way.

Some days, you convince yourself that Minghao does this on purpose, trying to kill you in the reflection of the light from his sweet, wet abs.

“Y/n?” He said, breathless. With a whiny tone in his naturally airy voice. 

“Hao? You’re back from your run?” You ask from the kitchen. Trying not to think about how delicious his voice sounded.

“Yeah, I picked up some bread on the way back. Thought it’s go well with the soup you’re making.” He replied as he placed a paper bag of fresh bread on the counter. You turn away from the stove to check out the selection he brought back.

“Hm, you got good taste. I didn’t expect any less.” You say with a proud smile, Minghao’s chest fills with a sense of pride as well. It was always validating to hear from someone else that they trusted your judgment.

The two of you had the day off today, your mentor visiting his daughters somewhere on the other side of the country. Giving the two of you free reign to settle chores that you haven’t been keeping up with.

Minghao offers to help you set the table, but you tell him to take a shower first. Letting that sweat dry on him might make him sick. Or worse, sticky.

He laughs that off, “Oh please, I think you’d want that.” He said suggestively. 

That was a new development too. Minghao is getting bolder with his jokes. His jokes were always tasteful, never trying to push your boundaries. But sometimes you wish he did, just so you’d have the excuse to tell him how much you wanted him.

But for now, with Minghao not showing any interest in acting upon his suggestive jokes, you swallow down the urge to jump his bones. For now, at least.

Your mentor returned from his family visit the next day, with an assignment for both of you. 

Sitting in the studio as usual, your mentor explains what your assignment entails, and how it’ll most likely span the rest of your time here in Amsterdam. He took it upon himself to assign it as a final project for the two of you, finishing this would finish their apprenticeship.

“A local cathedral reached out to me looking for my services. They wanted a mural painted for the interior because it started to look a little too clean after renovations. I think this would be a good opportunity for the two of you to show me what you’ve learned. I give you half a year to finish it, and then, you’ll be done with your mentorship.” He said, voice wispy like a proud father recalling the time when his children were just small, not looking at them, all grown up, he can’t help but tear up.

You and Minghao look at each other, unable to fathom this amazing opportunity that has presented itself to you. You and Minghao eagerly accept the offer, excitedly heading out to check out the said church so you two can plan out what to do for the mural.

The people attending the church are already briefed on the situation, happily showing you around their shiny new church, happy to find new artists to commission for this project. You and Minghao take photos of the interior, wanting to plan around the implements and fixtures, to give everything a cohesive look.

You and Minghao do this for hours walking around the city to look for inspiration along the way, taking in all the sights you didn’t have the chance to take in before. The city was filled with inspiration, ideas flowed out the both of you like a river, and it was so easy to find passion for this project. With a giant canvas and free reign to paint whatever, you and Minghao felt like kids at a candy store.

But suddenly, the sky started to grumble, clouds darkening in a tell-tale way. You hadn’t anticipated the rain, so you both scramble to find shelter as the rain starts to pour. Taking shelter under the awning of an abandoned shop, you both watch as the rain pools and puddles around you. You turn to Minghao, he was a little damp but relatively dry, water dripping from his hair, soaking into his clothes. His mouth was slightly parted from panting, the unexpected run knocked the wind out of both of you.

 At that moment, Minghao looked delectable.

“Hao?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

He only smiles at your question, leaning down to softly press his lips to yours. He had an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, pressing his body to yours. You can feel the warmth of his skin radiating under his clothes, warming you up from the chill of the rain. 

You felt a little light-headed, not just from the lack of air, but because you didn’t expect a random blurt of your desire would lead to Minghao kissing you breathlessly. Not that you’re complaining, not at all, in fact, this made you want him more, softly moaning against his lips before pulling away, remembering that you’re in public. 

“Oh, wow, um.” You start, heads still spinning from the dizzying kiss Minghao had pulled you into. 

He just laughed his signature laugh, joy coursing through his veins. How could he not be happy? An amazing opportunity to advance his career, getting to spend the day in the city with someone he cares deeply for, and getting to kiss her in the rain? Oh, he’s weak in the knees.

This day was perfect, you were perfect. Minghao couldn’t ask for anything more.

You and Minghao started the mural for the cathedral, buzzing with excitement for your first big project, as well as your budding romantic relationship with him. The two of you work on opposite ends of the mural, working to meet each other halfway, and taking the time to get the details down before moving on to the next section. 

In a way, this was reminiscent of how you and Minghao are taking the steps to make this relationship work. Though unlikely that you’d meet like this, you still did, and you’d like to believe it was fate. Both of you agreed not to put a label on it just yet, just enjoying each other's company, and exploring the possibilities of this new romance.

You sneak glances at him every so often, his face scrunched in concentration, focusing on perfecting the sections of the mural he assigned himself to. And sometimes, when he looks back at you, his face instantly relaxes and glows. You love how expressive his face is, almost as if you could tell what he was thinking about at any point. It comforts you how open he is, knowing that he looks at you with genuine affection and adoration. It's fun, it's freeing to feel this way about someone who feels just as strongly.

The two of you worked on the mural until lunch when the two of you decided to take a short break, “Maybe I’ll take this opportunity to take you out on a proper date.” He said cheekily, offering his arm for you to hold.

“Oh, that’d be great. We keep passing by this one restaurant that I’ve been dying to try.” It was an open-concept place, clean and modern but it didn't give off “steak dinner” vibes, it just seemed like a nice sit-down place to have lunch or brunch, if you’re of the local housewife type.

Asking the waitress at the front for a table for two, the two of you were promptly seated at a table facing the street, offering the both of you the menu. Apparently, the menu changes seasonally, this time they offered a variety of vegan dishes, which intrigued you. You never realized vegetables could be cooked in so many different ways.

Your food was served, and the conversation between you and Minghao flowed like free orange juice refills. You both enjoy your lunch, more than you usually do, you don’t know if the food was actually good, or if the company just made it better, but either way, you don’t think you could enjoy a meal without Minghao anymore.

He’s just so charming, kind, and funny. So, so funny. The tables around you started to look at you two funny for all the giggles coming from your table specifically. The restaurant being open-air doesn’t even help to dampen the sounds of your joy, even the hustle and bustle of the street fade to the background with him. It’s just you, and Minghao, and the delicious veggies the two of you decided to have for lunch.

Lunch was over before you realized it. Minghao flags down the waitress, asking for the bill and paying for it himself, much to your protests. Yet, those fall on deaf ears as he winks at you. Offering his arm for you to take again before walking back to the cathedral to continue working on your mural.

The two of you continue to act like love-struck fools, much to the church staff’s chagrin, but it's not like either of you cared, you enjoy his company, and you, his. You haven’t brought up the kiss from before, but you wanted to, mainly to ask him for another one. 

Minghao really wasn’t the type for much skinship, but it’s not as if he’s opposed to it. If you asked, he’d comply. He’s willing to do many things for you, or with you. Minghao thinks it’s too early to call it love, definitely, but it’s really really close to it.

He adores you to no end, no words could describe how much you became an important part of his life in just a few short months. And getting to work with you on this? He almost couldn’t believe it.

Growing up, he always thought love like this only happened in movies or books. But he’s living it right now. He’s living in Europe, doing what he loves the most, and finding an unexpected light in his life. Maybe life does have things worth worrying about. 

Still, ever present in Minghao’s thoughts, is the sinking feeling of anxiety. It’s ugly, rearing its head whenever it can. The last time he felt this strongly about something, it nearly broke him. Minghap always felt too hard, nothing is ever ‘just’ happy or ‘just’ sad for him. His loyalty and devotion is both a blessing and a curse. 

And yet, he still believes in love.

He’s a hopeless romantic, even if it’s scary, even if it’ll hurt, he still holds onto hope that he could get away with it. Making a religion of your lips, worshiping the false god that is your adoration for each other.

It’s ironic to think like that in the middle of a cathedral he thinks, yet, he’s not guilty, not after what the church has done to him, to his once level-headed father.

It was another day of working on the mural, this time, you and Minghao worked until the late hours of the night, until all the church staff bid both of you goodnight, leaving you two to work in the dim light of the chandelier.

“Hey, have I ever told you that this is the first time I went inside a church since I was seventeen?” Minghao started, concentrating on his section of the mural, painting the rosy cheeks of a cherub.

“Huh? No, you haven’t. Why did you stop going to church? If you don’t mind me asking.” You said, a little startled from being broken out of your concentration.

“It’s simple really, my values didn’t align with the church anymore. And, I may have been  in love with a man at the time.” He joked, chuckling at the end of his sentence as if he was reminiscing about something humorous. 

You nod, “You know, I haven’t been in a church for about as long.” you say, setting your brush down to continue speaking, taking a short break to avoid cramping your hand. “I didn’t like how I was basically brainwashed all my life to devote my time and soul to the church, I didn’t feel a connection to religion anymore, not after what my group told me after what that priest did to me.”

Minghao’s expression softened, shoulders dropping with his grip on the brush relaxing. “That’s terrible, I’m sorry that happened to you.” He said, also resting his brush. He walked towards you, offering a hand to help you get off the floor. You take his hand, muttering thanks, and you follow him to the back of the church, in the pews nearest to the altar.

“You know, sometimes I feel as if some unknown force led us to meet each other.” Minghao started, “Think about it, how is it that we’re the only two people in the mentorship program, and how have we managed to fit together so perfectly? I think,” Minghao pauses to lick his lips, “if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have felt this way about them.” 

“I know that confession was a little misplaced, especially after what you just told me. But I just wanted to give you context for my offer,” He said, taking your hand, the warmth of his palm radiating to yours, warming it up, “I want to give your power back to you, I like you a lot, too much really. Ever since that first day, you made me breakfast. And I’d do anything to take that pain away from you.”

“Minghao…” You said, “I like you a lot too. I’m flattered by your confession, and so moved by your offer. But I can’t seem to figure out what your offer is supposed to mean.” 

“You were attacked at a church, violently, as if your body wasn’t yours for a time. I want to override those memories with ours, make it your choice. To have an outlet for your anger.”

You openly gape at him, not believing his offer. He wanted to…?

“Minghao, I want you.” 

It felt cathartic to say that, especially in a place you’d never think to say that. It was satisfying as if a weight had been lifted from you, the burden of memory weighing on your chest being removed, like the first time you could breathe freely again.

Mingahao gently cups your cheek, stroking the flushed skin with the pad of his thumb, slowly turning your head to face him, his lips hovering over yours, “I want you too.” He said before locking lips with you. 

Your hands immediately find their place at the back of his neck, fingers threading to the soft ends of his hair, pressing him closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating through his clothes. Your skin felt hot, like desire was just boiling under your skin, blooming on the surface as a flush of red. Minghao crowds you, kissing you with want, with need. He kissed you, letting his hands do what his lips wanted to, his faith turning into despair. The tragedy of not having a taste of your skin yet, swirls in his gut, manifesting in desperation. He kissed you with urgency, as if this was the only chance to have you like this, his greed taking over his thoughts as it filled his mind with images of you in the most depraved positions, your usually clean image tainted with evidence of his lust.

After all, Minghao is just a man, a man who now finds religion in your lips.

He reluctantly parts from you, surprising you with his strength but lifting you suddenly, walking the short way to the altar. His plans dawn on you as soon as you feel the cool marble under you, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you lock your lips with his again, moaning pathetically and the feeling of his palms snaking their way under your shirt, squeezing and kneading the flesh, taking handfuls of it as he needed it.

He parts from your lips with a whine, panting for air like just running a marathon. He only parts from you for a second, only for his mouth to connect with your jaw, placing open-mouthed kisses on it. Goosebumps litter your skin, his simple touch leaves you shivering in a way you didn’t think was possible. Your legs part and Minghao takes his place between them, now sucking and biting marks into your skin, maroon blooms all over your collarbones, as you pull him impossibly close, bodies flush together perfectly as if it was always meant to be.

You paw at his jacket, wanting to feel him without the barriers of fabric between the two of you. He frantically shrugged his jacket off, and pulled his shirt over his head without being prompted, using his weight to press you down into the marble altar. Takes his time to unbutton your shirt, kissing the skin with every button he undoes.

Warmth ripples under your skin like drops hitting the surface of a still body, each kiss sending a spark of heat directly to your core. Simple, but powerful. The way Minghao delicately worships your skin made a sense of serenity wash over you like a wave, crashing over your restless state.

Minghao rises to meet your lips, again, swallowing the sound of your moans, nipping at your lips. His hard cock presses into your core through his pants, layers of fabric between the places where you needed each other the most. Desperation turns into slight relief from the pressure of your bodies pressing together. 

He takes his time to strip you of your effects, taking time to peel it off of you with care. This is the first time he's seen you in such a compromising position, yet you don't feel pressured or nervous at all. The way he looks at you, it's as if you hung the stars in the sky one by one, just for you to take them in your eyes, a galaxy of secrets waiting to be uncovered; and you're willing to let him explore.

Minghao falls to his knees, fingers pressing into the flesh of your thighs. He presses kisses on your kneecap, slowly inching his way to your core, lips brushing against your skin, making you shiver. You watch as his head of hair reaches the apex of your thighs, placing a kiss on your pelvis, right above where you need him.

He looks up at you briefly, eyes locking with yours as if asking for permission to just dive right in. You nod, giving him the silent permission to do so. He smiles, his eyes fluttering shut as his mouth connects with your core, lips wrapping around your throbbing clit.

Your back arches from the marble, hands frantically searching for his head, threading your fingers through his hair to get a grip on anything. The way the wet muscle that was his tongue guided the swirl of hot desire in your stomach made you dizzy, his eyes shut tightly, and small whimpers left his lips, making you feel the vibrations.

He ate you like a starved man, “Oh, fuck, please-! Keep going!” The frantic pace of his mouth and tongue got more desperate with your praise, your encouragement made him press his face closer to your core, his jose bumping your clit, making him breathe in deep, taking in your scent.

His eyes flutter open at the smell, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and a pathetic, high-pitched whine leaves his lips. His tongue pressed against the spongey spot in your walls, immediately this sends a shiver down your spine, your moans turning into desperate whines, grinding on his mouth.

And Minghao just stops to take it, exaggerating his moans to help you over the edge.

A knot starts to form in your core, only a mixture of pleas of his name leaves your lips as you topple over the edge, reaching your high. Your orgasm was blinding, a hot, white pleasure ripped through you, your body shaking from the impact of such a powerful climax.

Minghao groans as he savors the flavor of your release, drinking it like a sacred Ambrosia. He delicately licks at your folds, careful not to bump into your sensitive clit.

After being satisfied with cleaning you up, Minghao starts to unbuckle his belt, his pants hanging low on his hips. He finally takes his cock out of his boxer briefs, the tip is red and bulbous, angry and leaking. His mouth parts with a moan, licking his plump lips, finally getting the friction he so desperately wanted.

He gets on top of you, his warmth radiating off of him in waves. He brings a hand up to brush your hair away from your face, soaking up every detail, committing the look in your eyes to memory. He looks at you with adoration, eyes clouded with lust yet still shines with the respect he has for you as a person.

In his eyes you were perfect, especially with that fucked-out look on your face, panting and shaking under him.

He kisses you again, this time with less desperation. You could taste yourself on his lips, highlighting your desire for more. He finally guides his cock to your entrance, the tip of it bumping into your clit, a gasp falling from your lips.

You look up at Minghao, a halo of many colors forming around his head, the cross-shaped stained glass behind him glowing brightly in the full moonlight. If it wasn't for the depraved things he's done to you, you'd think that he looked angelic.

Finally, he slowly pushed his cock into you, a shaky breath leaving his lips, taking every ounce of self-control to not start frantically thrusting into you, letting you take the time to adjust to his size. Minghao was bigger than you thought he'd be, the sheer size of his cock stretching you deliciously. 

He pressed your foreheads together, your breathing synchronized. You open your hand on his chest, pressing your palm over his heart, you can feel the steady beating of it, and you can feel him breathe with you. The silence only amplified the feeling of being connected, a kind of vulnerability that you’ve never felt with anyone else before.

You savor his warmth, his closeness to you, before asking him to move. He nods wordlessly, not trusting his voice at the moment. He was buried to the hilt, but he slowly started to pull back until only his head stayed inside you, only to push back in, a wet, lewd squelch of your juices mixing with his echo and rung in your ears.

He started to pick up his pace, intertwining your hands together to gain leverage. “Fuck, you feel so good babe, so warm. So perfect for me.” He said lowly, mind emptying all thoughts except for the feeling of you around him. He can't get enough of you, your image infecting his mind, making a home in every crevice. 

Both of you were very vocal about how good it felt, pleasure rising to a pressure that made both of you light-headed, your grip on his hand tightening with every pointed thrust to the spot where you needed him the most.

His lips meet your neck again, more maroon marks blooming over your skin, marking you with evidence of him. He separated from the skin with a wet pop, his nose brushing against your cheek, his hair tickling the skin, “Please, I need you to cum around my cock. Don't make me beg for it, please, oh- please-” he whimpered in your ear, breathless from the force he was using. 

He turns to kiss you again, both of you swallowing each other's whines and moans as your desperation grows stronger. 

Soon, the coil in your stomach starts to tighten again, you can't hear much over the ringing in your ears, but you do hear the wet slapping of skin together, and the ragged breathing coming from the man above you. You barely registered your own orgasm, you felt like you weren't in your body, like your soul was floating in the space where you felt neither pain nor pleasure. 

Tears ran down your face, your body shaking like a leaf. Minghao watched as your juices squirted out of you, coating his cock and legs with your release. This violently sends him into his own orgasm, barely catching himself with the altar as the force of it knocks the wind out of him, his knees shaking, barely able to hold his weight up.

He almost collapsed into you with how much his body couldn't handle the sensations, his hips never ceasing even with both of your oversensitivity.

He finally stops, both of you winded from the intensity of your sex. He kisses you with finality that night, right at the altar with the light of the cross over you.

It's been months since you and Minghao started the mural, and also started hooking up. The first time you slept with him was certainly not the last. You were sure you desecrated every inch of this sacred space, as well as every corner of your shared apartment. 

But, all good things come to an end. 

Today was the day you finally added the finishing touches to the mural, marking the end of your program, and the end of your time in Amsterdam. 

Your mentor was pleased with how it turned out, he was proud of how far the both of you have gotten in your skills. And decided to throw a party in his studio to celebrate the completion of your final project. 

You and Minghao skirt around the idea of what will happen next after the program ends, enjoying the company of your mentor and the few friends you've made in Amsterdam. 

It was after the party that things finally started to feel grim, each item you packed into your suitcase felt like heavy weights or a nail in the coffin of your relationship with Minghao.

You couldn't fathom going back to reality, back to your lonely apartment without the anticipation of waking up and making breakfast for him. 

You realized too late that you loved him.

“What happens to us now?” His question surprised you, you didn't think he was thinking about this as hard as you were. 

“Well, we go back to where we came from. Go on with our lives, I guess.” You reply, too cowardly to admit what you truly felt, as it'll only hurt more.

“That's it?” He asked incredulously, “You don't want to even try to make this work?” His tone wasn't one of anger or disappointment, Minghao had always been an expressive person, but this was something worse. Hurt.

“Minghao I-” You start, but he cuts you off,

“Well, you know what? Okay. It's okay- just… if there's ever a next time. Meet me in Amsterdam. Please, at least, try for me?”

You nod, your breathing becoming shaky as tears begin to well in your eyes. You hug him tightly, almost as if it'll be the last time you ever see him.

But no, there will be a next time. No matter how long it'll take.

You let the tears fall when the plane finally took off. 

It's been several years since your time in Amsterdam, your experience there marked you in more ways than one. 

Your art career found success after the mural you worked on with him received critical acclaim. Opening galleries and exhibits all around the world, people enjoy the art you made greatly. 

You find yourself in the place where it all started, Amsterdam. 

“So, there really is a next time, huh?” You said, your voice was calmer than you expected it to be, especially with being overcome with such intense emotions.

Minghao smiles at you, wordlessly coming in to hug you.

“I'm not letting you go, not this time.”

[astuteology]

Solar return observations ☀️🔁

Solar Return Ascendant in the 6th House:

Focus on health, wellness, and daily routines.

Emphasis on self-care.

Service to others.

Potential for new job or work responsibilities.

Solar Return Moon in the 8th House:

Emotional intensity, depth, and transformation.

Exploration of subconscious patterns and desires.

Potential for financial or relationship changes.

Solar Return Mercury in the 12th House:

Inner reflection.

Intuition, and spiritual growth.

Communication with self and others may be indirect.

Potential for secrets, mysteries, or hidden information.

Solar Return Venus in the 3rd House:

Social connections, networking, and community involvement.

Emphasis on communication, creativity, and learning.

Potential for new relationships or hobbies.

Solar Return Mars in the 9th House:

Adventurous spirit, exploration, and expansion.

Pursuing higher education or philosophical interests.

Potential for travel, relocation, or legal matters.

Lost or wandering mind.

Too many people around you can put you off.

Solar Return Jupiter in the 2nd House:

Financial growth, abundance, and material security.

Emphasis on values, self-worth, and personal resources.

Potential for increased income or wealth.

You're likely gonna eat whatever the hell makes you happy.

Solar Return Saturn in the 5th House:

Responsibility, discipline, and creativity.

Focus on personal expression, romance.

Potential for challenges in self-expression or relationships.

I've also seen, people around you compare you with someone else with this placement.

Solar Return Uranus in the 4th House:

Unpredictable events, changes in family or home life.

Emphasis on emotional foundation and inner stability.

Potential for innovative solutions or unexpected opportunities.

Solar Return Neptune in the 7th House:

Spiritual connections, intuition, and empathy in relationships.

Potential for mystical or artistic experiences.

Emphasis on partnership, harmony, and balance.

Solar Return Pluto in the 10th House:

Transformation, power struggles, and career changes.

Emphasis on public image, reputation, and authority.

Potential for intense personal growth and transformation.

Solar Return Sun at 26° Sagittarius:

Cosmic alignment, spiritual awakening.

Connection to collective unconscious.

Solar Return Moon-Vertex conjunction:

Activation of fateful events

Unexpected relationships, life-changing encounters.

Emotional awakenings.

Solar Return Chiron on the Ascendant:

Wounded healer theme, self-awareness.

Spiritual mentorship, guidance.

Solar Return North Node in the 3rd House:

Karmic connections through communication.

Spiritual growth through learning.

Solar Return Juno in the 7th House:

Sacred partnerships, spiritual connections.

Feminine power, relational harmony.

Need for a partner. Falling for someone very quickly.

Neptune in the 1st House:

Spiritual awakening, mystical experiences.

Ethereal, hidden aura, but still seen.

Frequent "on the clouds" feeling.

People projecting on you or vice versa.

Attraction to hidden, deep, unknown things.

Pluto in the 12th House:

Intense spiritual growth, transformation.

You could be someone's transformation, triggering them to change.

Frequent thoughts about changing a specific pattern of yours or adding a pattern you need.

Chiron in the 10th House:

May realize that your career wasn't for you.

Not receiving help in your environment.

Apart from career, your loyalty to yourself is tested.

Part of Fortune in the 12th House

Spiritual help.

Randomly getting wisdom from the universe.

Angel numbers.

Vertex in the 5th House:

Fateful creative encounters.

If you aren't creative, this can trigger it.

Being around babies alot or being childish.

Randomly having crush on someone or you becoming someone's crush randomly.

North Node in the 6th House:

Spiritual growth through daily routines.

Something related to your aunt and uncle.

Very much possible that you'll realize what you had kept deep inside, your emotions. They'll be pouring out badly. Frequent anxiety attacks.

South Node in the 12th House:

Karmic release, spiritual liberation.

Unstable and foggy mind.

Frequently forgetting things or words. Even if you just said it.

This is the time to just relax and keep the things that stresses you out even a slightest bit, aside.

Mercury Square Saturn in Solar Return:

Communication challenges, expect obstacles or delays in expressing yourself, potentially leading to frustration.

Mental clarity, you may struggle to focus or make decisions due to self-doubt or criticism.

Learning opportunities, this aspect can prompt you to refine your communication skills, listen more attentively, and think critically.

Responsibility and duty, Mercury Saturn emphasizes the importance of fulfilling obligations, possibly feeling overwhelmed.

Self-criticism or perfectionism.

Difficulty articulating thoughts or feelings.

Feeling restricted or limited in expression.

Increased responsibility or burdens.

Need for careful planning and attention to detail.

Moon Opposite Mars in Solar Return:

Emotional intensity, inner conflicts between emotions (Moon) and actions (Mars) may arise.

Inner tension, opposing forces can create stress, irritability, or mood swings.

Passion vs. Emotional Comfort. Desire for independence (Mars) may clash with need for security (Moon).

Relationship dynamics, emotional reactivity in relationships; potential for conflicts or misunderstandings.

Emotional impulsiveness.

Inner conflicts between heart and head.

Assertiveness vs. emotional vulnerability.

Balancing independence and emotional connection.

Passionate pursuits or creative expression.

Venus Square Saturn in Solar Return:

Relationship challenges, expect obstacles or tensions in personal or professional relationships.

Emotional restraint, you may feel hesitant to express emotions or receive love.

Self-worth issues, doubts about your value or attractiveness.

Financial constraints, potential difficulties with finances or material security.

Feeling unappreciated or undervalued.

Fear of rejection or abandonment.

Difficulty receiving love or affection.

Perfectionism in relationships.

Venus Sextile/trine North Node in Solar Return:

Positive relationships, expect supportive, loving connections with others.

Inner harmony, emotional balance and stability.

Values alignment, clarity on what truly matters to you.

Creative expression, inspiration for artistic pursuits.

Spiritual growth, deeper connection to your inner self.

Nurturing relationships. Emotional healing.

Values-based decision-making.

Creative fulfillment. Spiritual exploration.

Venus trine/sextile South Node Solar Return:

Karmic relationships: Past-life connections, familiar bonds.

Emotional release: Letting go of old patterns.

Inner wisdom: Trusting intuition, emotions.

Creative roots: Tapping into ancestral talents.

Spiritual inheritance: Honoring past experiences.

Reconnecting with old friends or lovers

Emotional healing from past wounds

Discovering hidden talents

Increased intuition, emotional wisdom

Resolving karmic debts

MC (Midheaven) Conjunct North Node in Solar Return:

Career advancement, opportunities for professional growth and recognition.

Public recognition, increased visibility and reputation.

Life purpose alignment, clarity on your path and destiny.

Personal growth, enhanced self-awareness and self-improvement.

Spiritual evolution, deeper connection to your higher self.

Career transition or promotion.

Increased responsibility.

Public speaking or leadership.

Personal branding or reputation.

Spiritual awakening.

(All or any of these) Mercury, Venus, North Node, Saturn Conjunction in 7th House Solar Return:

Relationship dynamics, intense focus on partnerships, collaborations.

Communication challenges, potential misunderstandings, conflicts.

Emotional complexity, deep emotional connections, vulnerabilities.

Responsibility and commitment, serious relationships, long-term bonds.

Personal growth, self-awareness, emotional intelligence.

Intense relationships with deep emotional connections.

Communication challenges, misunderstandings.

Increased responsibility in partnerships.

Self-awareness, emotional growth through relationships.

Karmic connections, soulmate encounters.

(All or any of these) Mercury, Venus, North Node, Saturn Conjunction in 11th House Solar Return:

Unconventional relationships, non traditional partnerships, friendships.

Innovative communication, progressive ideas, humanitarian pursuits.

Future oriented vision, long-term goals, collective growth.

Intellectual exploration, philosophical discussions, mental stimulation.

Personal freedom, embracing individuality, nonconformity.

Unconventional relationships or friendships.

Innovative ideas, progressive thinking.

Increased responsibility in group settings.

Self-expression through creative pursuits.

Karmic connections with like-minded individuals.

(All or any of these) Sun, Neptune, Chiron Conjunction in 12th House Solar Return:

Spiritual awakening, increased sensitivity, intuition.

Emotional healing, processing deep wounds, vulnerabilities.

Self-sacrifice, letting go of ego, embracing humility.

Inner guidance, trusting intuition, inner wisdom.

Spirituality, mysticism. Inner world, subconscious work.

Heightened intuition, psychic abilities.

Emotional vulnerability, sensitivity.

Self-doubt, ego struggles. Increased empathy, compassion.

Past life or karmic themes emerge.

Uranus on ascendant Solar Return:

Personal revolution, sudden changes, unexpected events.

Unpredictability, expect the unexpected.

Innovation, new ideas, progressive thinking.

Self-reinvention, transforming identity, self-image.

Embracing individuality, autonomy.

Sudden changes in life direction.

Increased desire for independence.

Transformative personal growth.

Embrace change, flexibility.

Cultivate independence, self-reliance.

Focus on personal growth, self-awareness.

Explore innovative ideas, progressive thinking.

Uranus brings unexpected events and surprises. Stay open-minded and receptive to change.

Uranus Conjunct Jupiter in 1st House Solar Return:

Rapid growth and expansion.

Innovative ideas and opportunities.

Increased optimism and faith.

Personal freedom and independence.

Unexpected windfalls or benefits.

Expands knowledge, wisdom.

Supports personal growth.

Sudden opportunities for growth.

Expanded social circle, networking.

Expect the unexpected.

Venus in the 12th house

Just a little advice, try to stay at home as much as possible, because you are very very very prone to falling in love immediately.

Expect alot of dreams about your exes, the friends who hurt you, the ones who made you feel so good.

It also gives you a beauty that attracts everyone. You may see people staring at you ALOT.

Expect ALOT of crying and anxiety. The healing is inevitable here, bring chiron in it, again inevitable healing. Your soul will SHOW you all the times you neglected it, all the times you said yes but wanted to say no. Your soul will try to become best friends with your physical body, don't neglect it this time, please.

[frasier-crane-style]

Why The Last Jedi doesn't work as subversion is that it continuously requires the characters to act like they KNOW they're characters in Star Wars and not LIVING the Star Wars.

I'll give you an example. Rey. In TFA, her parents are simply missing and she's waiting for them to come back. In TLJ, she suddenly thinks they're an important secret for Kylo to reveal to her because she's pathologically suppressed the truth that they're drunks who sold her for alcohol money (or, you know, blue milk money, whatever).

But why would she ever think that she had an important family or heritage unless she knew she was the protagonist of a space epic and having an important family or heritage is something that happens to those?

Or DJ. The Benecio del Toro character is supposed to be a subversion of the rogue with a heart of gold trope. But why would Finn and Bangs ever think he's a rogue with a heart of gold that's implicitly trustworthy? They find him in a prison cell and have no reason to think he has any loyalty to the Resistance--he even gives a speech about how he considers the First Order and the Resistance to be equally bad!

In ANH, both Luke and Obi-Wan treated Han like exactly what he was, a mercenary, who had to be cajoled into helping out until finally he showed his true colors by attacking the Death Star. They didn't know they were characters going through a story arc. The Sequel Trilogy characters act like they do, until Rian Johnson pranks them by twisting the story arc they had no reason to think they were participating in.

And the entire Luke storyline is a subversion of the entire idea of mentorship. Luke doesn't teach Rey anything. She doesn't need to be taught anything. It's unclear why she even thinks she does, given that she already beat down Kylo Ren with ease, but, again, character in a story. She thinks she needs a training montage, Rian says "she doesn't get a training montage!", and scene.

It's all very meta and post-modern and taken at face value, it doesn't make any sense once you ask obvious questions like "Why shouldn't Poe know that there is a plan to save the fleet?" Defenders of TLJ dismiss those obvious questions because they see them as unimportant next to the post-modern gamesmanship the movie is really concerned with, but Star Wars doesn't work like a Scream movie, where the characters are largely obsessed with horror movies and then, ironically, placed inside a horror movie.

That's a kind of cynicism that doesn't really work for Star Wars; you can't do a sincere narrative about the triumph of good over evil when the characters are mostly convinced there's no big difference between Good or Evil winning.

To go back to ANH, Obi-Wan is emphatic about how wonderful the Jedi were, how tragic it was that they were wiped out, how awful it is to live under the Empire, and how important it is to fight to restore the Republic. That's the baseline of sincerity that this kind of primordial mythmaking needs to work.

With TLJ, most every character on both sides are cynical, foolish, corrupt, power-tripping, shrill, pompous... most of all, incompetent. It seems less like an epic battle between the noble and the venal--more like two competing cliques of sitcom characters, only one of them is inexplicably Nazi-themed. You're left pretty much adrift, with no characters to sympathize with and no conflicts to become invested in, just visuals and 'themes'.

But children can't get invested in themes or subversion. Neither can most people. It's the province of the elitist to care about subtext over story--the sick doldrums of modern art--and Star Wars isn't for them. It's for the people.

[vir-tanadahl]

[DAV Spoilers] My Thoughts on Solas

Look, I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but these are just my thoughts. Take what resonates with you, and feel free to leave behind what doesn’t.

Under the cut, because spoilers!

I don’t think Solas was acting OOC.

TDLR: We are dealing with the Dread Wolf for most of DAV, not Solas.

This is not the Solas we know from DAI. In DAI, Solas concealed his identity as the Dread Wolf, embodying a part of himself from before he fully assumed that role. Now, however, he has fully embraced the mantle of the Dread Wolf.

 2. The comment about hating blood magic? It was a lie. Solas knows that, in this world, blood magic is despised and viewed as evil. The truth is, he sees it as a tool—both in DAI and in DAV. He lied to the Rook, manipulating his words to earn their trust.

3. I don’t think he intended to kill Varric—I think it was an accident; if that were his goal, he would have done it long before. If you slow down the cinematic, you can see him lower his head, a gesture of shame. But then again, this is the same man who killed Felassan. It is still shitty that it happened though.

4. Solas doesn’t trust the Rook, and he isn’t going to be as open with them as he was with the Inquisitor. Unlike the mentorship he offered the Inquisitor, Solas sees the Rook purely as a tool. He will never confide in them about his feelings for the Inquisitor, whether as a friend or a lost love. This time, he’s a tactician, a strategist—cold, calculating, and entirely focused on his goals. In my opinion, if Solas were to confide in the Rook, it would feel out of character. They haven’t developed that level of trust, so in my opinion, it would come across as fan service. 

5. I don’t believe Solas and Mythal had a romantic relationship. Although Mythal called him ‘love,’ the evidence in DAI suggests it was more likely reverence than romance. As Brené Brown describes, reverence—a deeper form of admiration or respect—is often rooted in a profound connection to something greater than ourselves, encompassing adoration, worship, or veneration.

6. It’s possible that Solas was bound by a geas, which would explain his intense reaction if the Inquisitor drank from the Well of Sorrows. This could also be why Mythal remains central to his story. He tells both the Rook and the Inquisitor that he cannot stop—not that he won’t, but that he cannot. Perhaps, before her death, Mythal commanded him to avenge her, binding him to her will and compelling him forward.

Update to 6: However, if it wasn’t a geas, then it speaks volumes about Solas, his choices, and the theme of regret that runs through DAV. Honestly, I hope it wasn’t a geas, because that would highlight his fallibility, showing just how far he’s gone and the struggle he faces in trying to reconcile (and failing) with those choices. It would also explain why he feels bound by his actions, believing he cannot turn back and why Mythal remained central to his story because he came into this world for her and he "failed" her. By releasing him from her service, Mythal allows him to see that his path wasn’t shaped solely by his own choices. He’s been carrying the weight not only of his decisions but of hers as well—and he isn’t responsible for her choices. Mythal had to be the one to make him understand that.

7. Solas's wisdom has twisted into pride. He's fixated on erasing the mistake he believes he made, on fixing what he thinks he broke. But this pride blinds him to the beauty of the world he inadvertently created. If his wisdom had remained pure, he might have seen that this new world, born of his error, holds its own beauty—and that not every mistake needs to be undone. It feels like Solas embodies Wisdom, while the Dread Wolf represents Pride.

8. Solas does care about people, but his wisdom has twisted into pride. The Dread Wolf, however, leads him to view their deaths as necessary sacrifices—a means to an end

9. Solas/The Dread Wolf created a prison that even the gods could not escape it—because escape would mean confronting the pain they caused and accepting any regrets tied to their choices. The gods refused to do this, seeing their actions as justified. Solas, too, remained bound, unable to face his own regrets and the pain he caused, needing to believe there was purpose in them. He is shocked when the Rook escapes, as he doesn’t believe (or literally just cannot accept this due to being under a geas) anyone can truly accept their regrets and move forward.

10. The Dread Wolf using spirits of chaos—and other similar entities—as tools in his war makes sense. He chose spirits that wouldn’t be corrupted by the task, a calculated and strategic move, even if it’s ultimately a morally questionable one.

IDK take it or leave it.

UPDATE:

I also believe that the essence of Mythal, which released him from her service, ‘died’ after freeing him. The essence he carefully preserved could only watch and observe the world, as Mythal herself stated she couldn’t exist outside the Fade. I think Solas knew that. This fragment of Mythal, the one he knew, who just released him from her service no longer exists anymore.