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buckysgrace · 4 months ago
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The Walk of Shame
Single dad!Billy Hargrove x fem!Reader
Closer to My Heart Masterlist
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You grow insecure of your night out with Billy; meanwhile he feels like your relationship is changing.
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You awoke to a throbbing between your legs and an ache of regret that connected between your heart and mind. You were so screwed.
Billy was gone, which was no surprise to you at all. You laid there in your stained bed, your heart throbbing uncomfortably in your chest as everything came crashing back to you. You let him into your apartment, had let him taint your skin and flesh. And you hadn’t even drank that much.
You could still feel your lips burning from where his mouth had been, your skin tingling in the places that he had touched you. Like it was engraved into you. A huff left your mouth before you were out of the bed, quickly removing your sheets and blankets and tossing them to the floor. You were going to wash them early and erase the smell of him that lingered in your room.
You scrubbed your mistake down the shower drain until your skin was raw and smooth. But not even that could remove the marks on your neck from where his lips had been at. No, you were forced to stare at them whenever you looked in a mirror. 
“So what’s the issue?” Sabrina asked as she pushed another piece of gum between her lips, her eyebrows crinkled in confusion as she leaned against the large dryer machines, “You didn’t like him?”
“No,” You huffed to Sabrina as you tossed your sheets into one of the dryers, “It was the way I let him treat me.” You told her truthfully, feeling shameful all over again. You hadn’t ever known that sex could feel so animalistic. 
“What do you mean?” She asked in confusion, helping you shut the door to the machine before you dug around for your coins. You sighed deeply, wishing that the laundromat wasn’t so expensive. 
“He like-,” You paused as you leaned a little closer, keeping your tone lowered, “Spit in my mouth and stuff.” You whispered painfully, scrunching your brows together as you waited for her judgment to rise. 
“And stuff?” She asked curiously, amusement flickering in her eyes as a soft smirk fell onto her lips. You stalled in surprise at how she reacted. That wasn’t what you were expecting. 
“Don’t make me say it all out loud,” You grumbled as you covered your face, “I’m a whore.” You moaned into your hands, sure that Billy really did think that now. He’d never let you live it down. You’d have to spend the next few years with him smugly bringing up how he got into your pants that one time. 
“Think about where you work at.” She mumbled as you both walked back outside, taking up a bench that was nearby. You dropped your shoulders, really not wanting to become a label because of where you worked. Even though people already thought that of you. “That’s not funny,” You told her quickly, “I’ve never done anything like that before. Nothing so extreme anyways. And my main job is at a daycare. A very strict one at that.” You reminded her as you plopped yourself into the seat, hoping that some warm sunshine could help you feel better about yourself. 
“Strict enough to know your bedroom habits?” Sabrina looked at you in confusion, shaking her head softly like you were freaking out for nothing. You glanced ahead, knowing that she didn’t fully understand your worries. 
“If they find out I’m sleeping with one of the parents then they’ll fire me.” You told her quietly, fearing what you’d have to do if that happened. You didn’t want to work at your second job full time. You loved what you did now. 
“Just fucking or can you date him?” She asked, grinning as you shut your eyes in frustration, “Hey. I’m just kidding. You don’t have to see him again.” She said as she pressed on your shoulder, making you wish her statement was that easy. You would have to see him. All the time. 
“Just every Monday through Friday.”
“My apologies,” She teased as she squeezed your shoulder, “I guess you have the rest of the afternoon and tonight to figure out what you’re going to say to him.” You shook your head at her comment, a little horrified. You knew what Billy wanted and he’d gotten it. There was nothing more to bed said.
“Keeping it professional is the best course,” You replied sternly, “And that’s what I’m going to do.” You nodded your head, agreeing with your own comment even though Sabrina quickly protested it. You knew that she would.
Monday morning rolled around, much to your discomfort as you ensured all of your leftover love bites and bruises were thoroughly covered. No one except you and Billy would know what happened. Unless he had already forgotten. Maybe he was already seeing someone else. It could be why he had left so early.
You paced in your classroom that morning, trying to distract yourself but unable to do so as you stared at the clock. You knew that he should be here by now. It made you feel even more sick, wondering if he had gotten what he wanted and completely left. 
“Morning.” The sound of his voice made you jump, nearly hitting your knees against your desk. You gulped as you straightened yourself out, rubbing your hands over your skirt as he walked inside with Theo beside him. He looked good. Really good.
“Uh huh,” You hummed along, nodding your head as Theo tiredly wobbled to you, “Good morning to you too. Well both of you.” You nodded your head back towards him, then shyly ducked your head back towards the toddler in front of you.
“I sleepy.” He sighed dramatically as he moved towards your side, pressed his head against your ribs as he tried to wrap his little arms around you. 
“Oh my,” You grinned as you picked him up, enjoying the little hug he gave you in return, “But we’ve got so much learning to do.” You reminded him, watching as he stretched his little arms and legs out towards the air and floor.
“He wanted you to have this,” Billy mumbled as you listened to the sound of his boots approaching, “And I don’t give him donuts every morning.” He clarified a second later, looking worried as he thrusted out a little white box in front of you.
You met his eyes as you took it hesitantly, sure that your heart dropped clear through the floor as a warmth spread through your body. His blue eyes were bright, perhaps a little nervous even though his expression remained stoic. He was being nice. 
“Thank you,” You replied as you took it, looking down at the pink frosting that was coated in lots of sprinkles, “How did you know that was my favorite?” You asked Theo, grinning at the way he shrugged his shoulders and giggled.
“I’ll uh,” Billy paused for a second, “See you later.” He grumbled as he shoved his hands into his pockets, looking just as awkward as you felt. You didn’t know how to respond or if you even should. A donut meant nothing. Just something to snack on. 
“Bye daddy!” Theo squealed excitedly, apparently awake now as he wiggled on your lap. At least he’d be awake to help you get everything else set up for this morning. 
“Be good,” He leaned over, far too close to you as he gave Theo a little kiss on the top of his head, “Learn lots today.” He told him gently, his eyes just briefly meeting yours before he was gone. You felt yourself growing limp against your chair, wondering how you were supposed to survive.
-
The next few days went on like that. Short conversations, if you could even call them that. You were surprised at how nice he acted, but also didn’t have the courage to bring anything up. You stressed about it far too much, that was for sure. Even though nobody else knew or had any reason to be suspicious.
You knew why you suddenly couldn’t talk to him, but it was like he had reset your relationship completely. You felt yourself growing excited in your mornings to see him and again in the afternoons. Your body still warmed when he walked in late, but it wasn’t because of anger. It was because of something else.
And it scared you.
Not to mention that you couldn’t tell what he thought about you. Whether he figured you were just a whore and an easy lay or if there might be something else hidden beneath. And you couldn’t tell what you wanted him to think either. You just knew that it couldn’t happen again. 
Theo was working on collecting the toys he had scattered across the room while you had both waited for Billy. You no longer felt anger when he was late, rather you began to feel shy. Like you were a teenager again with a crush. And you refused to crush on Billy. It would go nowhere. 
“Are we going to talk about this?” He asked as soon as he entered, rounding on you as Theo squealed in the distance. You felt your eyes widen, unsure of what you were supposed to say. 
“What?” You asked as you ensured the lid was closed on your bottle of water, “Oh. Talk about-?” You trailed off, unsure if he was talking about the event or what led up to the event. Or what happened after. 
“Us.” He stated dryly, making your mouth dry. Okay. everything. He wanted to discuss everything. 
“I-,” You stalled for a moment, “Is there anything to talk about?” You asked as you stood from your chair, pushing it in so you could gather your things. You wanted to avoid looking at him, but you were drawn back to his presence. 
“You’re acting weird,” He said softer as his blue eyes traced over your features, “Did you not enjoy it?” He asked gently, making you feel worried as you shook your head. You didn’t want him to feel guilty, not when you were struggling with your own feelings. 
“No,” You said quickly, eyes widening as his features became even more stoic, “I mean I really enjoyed it. I did. I’m just not really that type of girl.” You explained as you gestured towards yourself, hoping that he would understand what you meant. 
“I realized that.” He said with a soft laugh, his palm resting against the side of your desk as he leaned lazily against it. You breathed in deeply. 
“I’ve never really been with someone like that.” You drew out slowly, a little insecure at your admission. Sex had always been hand holding and faked orgasms. Except for a vast few. You’d never had someone touch you so tenderly, make you feel so many deep sensations before. 
“Don’t tell me you were a virgin.” He said with a shake of his head, teasing you as he tapped his fingers across your desk. You glanced towards Theo, ensuring he was still far enough away that he couldn’t hear your conversation. 
“God no,” You replied with a laugh, “But nothing so-, intense.” You explained as the memories rushed forth again. His lips pulled into a little smug smirk, making you wish you had the strength to push him away. Where had your hatred gone?
“I can go slower next time.” He offered, nearly making you choke on the air in your lungs. Next time? He wanted there to be a next time? You felt sweaty suddenly, your stomach twisting and turning in surprise. 
“I don’t really want to just sleep around.” You admitted as you adjusted your purse over your shoulder. You were more excited than you liked to admit, however. You really didn’t think that Billy would be attracted to you in that way. Or maybe he only liked you now that he knew you turned into putty in his hands. 
“Are you free on Friday night?” He asked as he unwrapped a piece of gum, eyebrows slightly raised before he pushed it past his red lips. You stared, remembering how they felt against yours. Suddenly your mouth was burning, electricity racing through your body. 
“After here, yes.” You told him slowly, reminding yourself that you weren’t working your second job that night. You’d been too tired to pick it up, even though you should. 
“Theo and I are going to a park,” He began slowly, “If you’d like to join us. I can pick you up.” He offered as you thought about it for a moment. You should say no, decline his offer and go back to how things were. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Something about him intrigued you, made you want to peel back his layer and peek inside.
“Okay,” You agreed with a nod of your head, “But just as-,” You paused, trailing off as you were unsure of what to call your relationship. You weren’t friends and definitely weren’t lovers. You barely knew him.
“Yeah,” He agreed with a nod of his head, smiling as Theo bounced towards him, “Maybe I can convince you that I’m not a complete, what did you call me? Nincompoop.” He nodded his head, smirking as the embarrassment spread through you. Only this time you could tell he wasn’t mocking you, he was flirting with you.
“Doubtful.” You teased right back, unable to hide the grin that was forming on your lips. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. 
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“Teachew!” Theo exclaimed as he saw you, eyes twinkling as he leaned forward in his car seat, “What you doing?” He asked curiously, tilting his head as he dropped his toys onto his lap.
You chewed on your bottom lip, clearly nervous as you sat down in the passenger seat. Your smile was stiff, a bit awkward as you pulled your seatbelt over your chest. Billy was suddenly glad, fearing that he had been the only one that was nervous about the whole ordeal. 
“Nice to see you, Theo,” You greeted kindly, smiling before you sent a short glance Billy’s way. He directed his attention back to the car, putting it in reverse and heading towards the park that Theo loved, “I thought it would be fun to join you. Is that okay?”
“Yeah!” He squealed in excitement, grin wide as he kicked his little feet in the air, “I show you how to play!” He told you happily, clapping his hands together before he picked up his toys again. You thanked him softly before you turned, facing the front of the car.
He had been unsure of asking you to join them in the first place, sure that you had no interest in him. You had spent the last week giving him quite the cold shoulder, not even greeting him when he entered the daycare late. He had missed that little fire inside of you, fearing that he had ruined things completely. 
Last Saturday had been rushed and urgent, but he hadn’t regretted it all. He was irritated to admit that all he had done was think about you since then. He liked the feeling of your lips on his, the feeling of your skin sliding against his own. And your heavenly moans. 
He shifted in his seat, glancing towards you once again, “Do you have any games that you like?” He asked curiously, trying to make some sort of conversation. It was awkward trying to speak to you, knowing you had a clear disdain for him. He supposed he had given you a reason or two.
“The swings are fun,” You replied with a shrug of your shoulders, “I usually swing when we go outside, don’t I?” You asked as you glanced back towards Theo.
“Yep!” He replied back, smacking his lips as he did so. Billy grumbled underneath his breath as he had forgotten that you probably spent quite a bit of time in parks and playgrounds. He was sure that the last thing you wanted to do on your afternoon off was be around a bunch of screaming kids, “She go high, daddy!”
“No one has beat me yet,” You confirmed with a nod of your head, looking proud of yourself as he pulled into a parking spot, “I don’t let them go very high.” You clarified a second later, looking worried at what he might think. He chuckled as he faced you once again.
“I figured you wouldn’t,” He said, meaning it in a good way, “You take good care of them.” He clarified, noting the look of exasperation that filled your features. It quickly faded away and you were left looking surprised as he got out of the car. 
He awkwardly dangled his keys in his hands as he walked around towards your side, opening the door for you so you could get out. You stalled before you quickly followed his actions, making him wonder if you really thought of him as that big of a dick.
“Ready?” He grinned as he moved the passenger seat forward, reaching back to unhook Theo from his car seat. The toddler wiggled free, giggling as he grabbed his little bag and lifted his arms up.
“Weady!” He proclaimed happily as Billy kept a hand on the top of his head, ensuring that he didn’t hit the car. He watched as Theo wiggled free, bouncing happily to you as he held his hand out.
“Where should we go first?” You asked him kindly, holding his hand as he began to lead the way. He had a special interest in sitting and watching the ducks, or trying to color all of the different Koi fish that were in the ponds. He did not like the geese, however.
“Dis way,” Theo directed, leading them in the usual direction as Billy lingered behind a few steps, “Hey! You too.” He shouted as he looked back at Billy, wiggling his free hand until Billy linked their fingers together.
Billy was glad that Theo didn’t think anything of this interaction. It wasn’t a date, but he didn’t want him to get confused either. Especially when he was so eager for a mother figure. 
They sat at their usual bench, Billy taking the far edge as Theo sat his bag up on the wood and began to dig through it. By the end of the trip, he was sure his bag would be filled with sticks, rocks and various leaves. 
“Wook,” Theo said dramatically as he held out his little journal, his baby scribbles and drawings filling the pages as he pointed them out towards you, “It for science.” He declared, smiling proudly towards Billy. 
“He does a great job,” He spoke up, giving Theo a little kiss on top of his head, “What are you going to work on today?” He asked curiously as you flipped through the journal, looking at it all in surprise.
“Hm,” He hummed as he tapped his finger against his chin playfully, “I don’t know!” He giggled as he crawled onto his lap, his eyes squinting as Billy helped him get comfortable.
“These are really good, Theo,” You praised as you glanced towards him, gently touching the pages as you looked at it all, “You really like animals, huh?” You questioned as you faced him, probably knowing the answer to that already.
“Mhm,” He answered with a nod of his head before he glanced back towards Billy, “My daddy likes kitties.” He answered happily, resting his head against his chest. Billy shook his head, figuring that he’d drive him all the way to this park only for him to get sleepy. 
“You do?” You looked towards him curiously, like you were surprised once again. He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck before he nodded along. 
“Cats are cool,” He answered simply as a grin formed on his lips, “Hey you. C’mon. Let’s go play something.” He added as he lifted Theo back onto the ground. He grinned as he stared up at him, taking his hand before he dragged him along.
The playground was close by, not nearly as busy as the Saturday afternoons they spent here. Theo liked to try and keep up with the other kids, but often fell behind because of his little legs. He had no problem playing on his own either, but had probably grown used to that from being an only child. 
“I’ve been trying to teach him hopscotch,” He explained, crouching down as he waited for Theo at the bottom of the slide, “But he doesn’t quite understand it yet.” He said with a laugh, glancing towards where you were standing. 
“He’ll get there,” You smiled along, joining him as little giggles came from the top of the tube. It was a second later that Theo slid down, squealing loudly before he fell into Billy’s arms. His cheeks were squished up, his smile bright as he continued to giggle, “I’d give that a ten on the ranking scale.”
“Again?” He asked, already wiggling down and stomping his feet back up towards the little staircase. Billy watched him, chuckling softly as he ensured he reached the top of the slide safely.
“When you said us,” You brought up suddenly, making him turn towards you, “What did you mean?” You asked slowly, looking a little panicked by what his answer might be. He thought about it for a moment, deciding if he should be honest or say what he thought you wanted to hear. It seemed fairly obvious to him that you weren’t interested in him romantically. He wasn’t sure if he wanted you that way either. But you had caught his attention for some time now.
“I don’t know,” He admitted at last, wishing he wasn’t so sober if he was going to be discussing his feelings, “We’re just getting to know each other.” He said finally, deciding that sounded right. You nodded your head quickly in agreement.
“I just don’t want to lose my job,” You replied, smiling as Theo came tumbling down backwards this time. Billy leaned forward, picking him up once again as his little feet kicked in the air, “I really love what I do.”
“I wouldn’t say anything,” He said as he put the little boy down again, watching as he rushed back towards the same direction, “It’s nobodies fucking business anyways.”
“Easy for you to say,” You pointed out as you looked towards him, eyes sincere, “All of my coworkers love you. They talk about you all the time. And they don’t care for me because I don’t fit into their little clique.” You explained to him, leaving him a little confused. Then again he’d never seen you interact with your coworkers. And he couldn’t deny that they were overly nice to him.
“Sucks for them,” He said with a nod of his head, “But I won’t tell anyone. I swear.” He promised, taking note of your disinterest for a future between you and him. He could handle that. He’d been single for a long time anyways. Everything would go back to normal shortly, he was sure of it. 
Tags: @cassandracorvo @marshmallowgem @shes-an-odd-bird @stormy-stardust @highwaywildflower @let-love-bleeds-red
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dotthings · 1 month ago
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Finally!!! Some light and hope returns to S7. Made it through the Casless stretch to 7.17.
Some thoughts on Dean and Cas:
Dean's quest to save Sam leads him back to Cas. The mysterious breeze (we know who that is) shows Dean the taxidermy guy's card, and he tells Dean about Emanuel.
"Screw Cas" -- because Cas knocked down Sam's wall and then abandoned them, by dying, or so Dean thought, so Dean's still angry and hurt. Trying not to care, but he still cares
Oh the staring when they are face to face again. Dean cannot seem to stop staring at Cas. That's not me being poetic with a headcanon exaggeration, that's what's on the screen, I didn't make the rules.
Dean watches Daphne and Emanuel a little bit like how Cas watched Dean and Anna kiss. Less furtive. But the open-eyed wounded baby seal longing sense of wonder on Dean's face is stabbing me in the heart.
"What's your issue" -- how much time do you have Emanuel? Okay, in simple terms, Sam needs help. But the things Dean doesn't say is you!! you are my issue I loved you and you betrayed me and then died and I'm not okay I didn't want to lose you and I'm still mad but glad to see you again and I'm a mess and I've been angry grieving, that's my freakin' issue!!!
The golden-amber light washing over Dean and Emanuel's faces in the car. Light washing over Dean with Cas's return, first invented in S7.
Dean's treading carefully. He wants Cas back, he also doesn't want to disturb Emanuel's peace. And Dean's still upset and hurt and angry and not over it but also he's glad to see Cas again. Dean's going through it. And Dean can open up to Emanuel in ways he's not ready to with Cas. "You're angry...he betrayed you." "Yeah, well, he's gone....I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know. Whatever it was. Might take me some time but I always could. What Cas did--I just can't, I don't know why." YES I WONDER WHY THAT IS WHY DOES IT MATTER WHY DOES IT CUT SO DEEP "Well, it doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters." "No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human." THERE IT IS. After a series of characters telling Dean to suck it up and deal, Emanuel is the one who looks at him and sees Dean's vulnerability and humanity and says it's okay. Some part of Cas is Emanuel, even if he has amnesia, it's instinct, it's things Cas wouldn't be able to open up and say, not at this point, but that he believes. Cas sees Dean even if he doesn't know himself right now.
"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia Cas" -- soooo interesting how Meg tries to play Dean's worry for Cas into inveigling what she wants. She knows some things.
Dean's pissed at the idea of Meg using Emanuel and turning him back into "an angel sized weapon." He wants to do this carefully. He needs Emanuel to fix Sam, but he doesn't want Cas harmed or his peace shattered. This is Dean trying to let Cas rake leaves.
Dean also seems incredibly annoyed by Meg sidling up to Emanuel and trying to flirt. Protective. Jealous even.
"You just met yourself. I've known you for years." The way that's worded. Dean doesn't just say "I already knew you." He says for years. They've been through a lot. It's like Dean is feeling all of it.
Dean is finally persuaded, for Sam's sake, to let Emanuel break out the angel mojo, but he's reluctant. Knowing what this could do to Cas, the pain he'll experience if his memories return.
That SPN used Turn Into Earth by the Yardbirds, which was the band who became Led Zeppelin, for a music video montage of Cas's memories returning, where Dean is prominently featured in 98% of the images. ACTUAL THINGS SPN CANON DID. Making a Destiel fanvid and stuck it in an episode. Okay.
Where did Dean's anger fly off to? "If you remember then you know you did the best you could at the time." He doesn't think Cas is a bad guy. "Don't defend me." -- Cas has always taken responsibility for his screw ups. Always. And takes a lot on himself to atone. That is how the character has been and he's like that all the way through. And he comes back to fix it.
Dean pulling Cas's trenchcoat out of the trunk of the junker of the week and handing it to Cas. Dean kept it!!!! He didn't just stick it in storage, he moved it from junker to junker, for months, keeping the last piece of Cas Dean had left with him and Sam. The ep that aired isn't even as sentimental as the cut scene--the dialogue we saw in a promo "something in me always knew you'd come back"--yet it's unhinged enough as it is!!!!
"I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I'm here to make it right." Cas always tries to make it right.
Dean doesn't know what's going on as Cas walks over to Sam, and asks "Cas, what are you doing" a bit alarmed. Dean wanted Cas to fix Sam, and they both at first Cas could with just a touch to rebuild the wall, but the wall's crumbled. And there's only one way--for Cas to absorb Sam's Lucifer hallucination. It's Cas's decision, and it's done before Dean can even try to stop it. While Dean of course is glad Sam is okay--that's not how Dean wanted to get there.
At the time it seemed a bit cold that Sam and Dean parked mentally ill Cas at the asylum and left--we'd only just gotten Cas back on the show and he gets shoved off screen again. But there are contractual things--Misha was signed for a 4 ep arc. Looking at it in-story, Dean says he's worried they can't protect Cas, with all that's out there, between Crowley's demons and the leviathans, and Dean says they should leave Cas where he's safe. Watched over by one of their former enemies--but Meg is the only resource they've got who can do it and she's at least playing at being an ally and she does seem to like Cas. It's again Dean's version of letting Cas rake leaves, keeping him safe.
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pillsarchive · 1 year ago
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Stay out of the basement!
Vanessa has quality bonding time with her dad and nothing else of note happens (READ THE TAGS OH MY GOD READ THEM DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT)!
Anyone who can guess where I got the title from gets a cookie :3
Vanessa had always been curious. Her mother thought it was annoying, when vanny would bother her too much with her questions she’d get grounded. That’s why she liked being around her dad so much more - he encouraged it. His favorite thing to do with her was teach her about robotics. She loved watching him work, tinker with tiny metal plates and weld parts together. He’d set everything he was working on out on the kitchen table and meticulously explain what all of it did, how each little piece helped the larger machine function. Today wasn’t one of those days. Her mom and dad were sleeping in different houses now, they had never really gotten along very well. Vanessa hadn’t cried when she’d gotten told that she’d be spending all her time with her father now, that her mother only wanted vanny to come over every three weeks. It was like a party all the time, her dad never told her she was being too loud, never asked her to leave him alone, he loved her. The only bad thing about staying with her dad was when he had to leave her alone to go do business stuff. She’d get lonely. The house felt empty without anyone else in it, and after she watched all the movies they had on vhs boredom set in. She wished he’d left something out on the kitchen table to play around with, even when she knew she wasn’t building anything functional she liked to screw things together and make little metal sculptures.
 Then, she got an idea. 
Her dad always kept more things for his projects in the basement. Vanessa got up, tugging down the sleeves of her sweatshirt and padding down the hallway towards the door. Before he’d left the house, he’d reiterated what he always told her before he left her alone. 
“Remember, vanny, dont go into the basement.”
She didn’t think much of it. Her mother had always been the one to get her in trouble, her dad had only ever been mean when she did bad in school, or when she wouldn’t behave (which wasn’t very often - she prided herself on being the type of kid he bragged about). She was smart, dad had told her that, and she knew how to stay safe around his machines. He was probably just scared she’d get hurt, that a spare screw would run through her foot. She quickly ran back to the front of the house and tugged on a pair of shoes. Before she walked back to the basement door, she thought for a few minutes about anything else she could have missed. When she couldn’t think of anything, she slowly opened the door and started down the metal stairs. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. Even though she knew she wouldn’t get caught, she could almost feel him watching her. As she descended further into the dimly lit basement she realized this was the first time she’d ever done anything he’d told her not to. The thought gave her a strange satisfaction, the fun of taking a risk outweighed the fear of being found out and she flipped the lightswitch. 
As Vanessa’s eyes adjusted to the light, she scrunched up her nose. It smelled funny - like the one time a steak had gone bad in the fridge at their old house. She put her sweatshirt neckline up over her nose and looked around. There were half finished machines everywhere. Her eyes were drawn to a doll in the corner, it was smaller than all the other robots and it had an old fashioned frilly dress on. Had her father been making her a present, a toy? Is that why he hadn’t wanted her down here? Guilt washed over her. What if he got sad because she’d ruined his surprise for her? Quickly, she poked around and found what she was looking for, the place where he kept his scrap material. She picked up a screwdriver and a few pieces of metal, screws, and some hinges then looked over at the doll one last time before she ran back up the stairs. 
Just as she feels her foot touch the flat solid surface of the ground floor the front door opens. Her dad is home. She panics, reaching for the door to the basement and dropping some of the scrap and the tools she’s holding in her hands. As her father walks in the door, she begins to cry. She can hear the sound of him calmly taking off his jacket and his shoes, setting down his briefcase in the entryway. She heaves until she feels like she’s going to puke up her lunch. It only gets worse when she sees her father in the hallway, walking towards her with a resigned look on his face. He pics her up, holds her in his arms, and she wonders if he’s angry with her. For a brief moment, he smiles softly.
“Vannessa, are you alright?” 
She nods, sniffling. His smile drops a bit, and he kicks the screws on the floor to the side. He sighs as he starts to walk downstairs. 
“I thought you were a good kid, vanessa. You know when I was at work just now, I talked to henry about you, how well behaved you are - then I come home to this.”
She understands what she means, and she starts to cry again. He’s very very angry.
“Im sorry dad - I just wanted something to do I get so bored while you’re gone - I di - didn’t mean to make you mad, please let me down -”
The basement seems so dark compared to the rest of the house. William clicks his tongue, restraining her by holding her closer. She starts to kick and try to wiggle out of his grasp. 
“Now - I’ve been thinking, since you’re getting older, I need to be ready for the way your attitude will change. See -”
She wants to scream but she knows no sound will carry out of here - he just keeps talking as he uses his foot to press a button. She realizes now they’re both facing the doll - her robot.
“- Kids, when they’re really young, like you vanessa - they really dont have any reason to be disagreeable with their parents. They dont have many beliefs or convictions of their own so they behave as long as their parents teaches them how to, but as they get older they get more disobedient. They start feeling an urge to go against the grain and -”
She watches in horror as the robots torso opens up when her fathers foot hits the button. Sharp, metal coils wind automatically and the dolls face parts four ways. Vanessa lets out a strangled cry. She knows what happens next.
“ - its harder for their parents to make them good kids again. That’s why I made ella.”
He laughs. She feels something run down her leg and soak the front of her shorts. Her father sighs, and he holds her, moving her body forwards towards the robot. She doesn’t move, doesn't even shiver. The scent of rotting meat still assailes her. Her father has explained this type of animatronic to her, told her never to mess around with it or the springlocks will trigger. He presses the button again and it closes around her. 
“Ill only make you play with her for a few minutes since this is your first time really being a brat and doing something I told you not to, dont move and you’ll be fine. “
He walks over to his work chair and sits down, taking off his glasses and leaning his face up to a magnifying glass attached to his desk. As he begins to sodder a small electronic part, he speaks without looking at her.
“Remember that next time, vanny, don’t go into the basement.”
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gumnut-logic · 9 months ago
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It hadn’t been his best plan, he had to admit it. But the idea sprung up and he had been at his wits end with a head full of…stuff…and he needed a distraction.
He was pretty sure he could explain a motorised spinning clothesline. After all, wasn’t that what the washing machine did anyway? A few basic laws of applied physics couldn’t do anything but help get clothing dry in the tropics.
Could it?
Of course, he was bullshitting himself and every human in a hundred kilometre radius and he knew it in some dark, deep corner of his soul, but yesterday had been hell and he needed to DO SOMETHING.
Scott had banned him from the hangars due to injury.
Injury, sminjury, so he had a sprained wrist. He could still do stuff.
Even if it hurt to play the piano and the thought of holding a brush up wasn’t pleasant.
Now you’re just a hypocrite.
Oh, shut up!
So, Virgil Tracy grabbed his toolkit and a few important bits and pieces from his workshop…he went in the back way so he didn’t go through the hangars, so there, Scott! And, carrying them in his good hand lest he be arrested on the way back up, snuck…okay, he was sneaking, but that was because a certain brother was a worry wart!...out onto the lawn and crouched down by the clothesline.
What followed was several lovely hours of tinkering away and experimenting and playing, yes, playing, and he had a good time which was much better than sitting on his ass in his bedroom pouting.
He had to admit that by the time he had the solar panel assembled and the motor suspended at the right place, his wrist was hurting a bit more than it should be and the medic in the back of his head was having conniptions, but the mental health value of the exercise certainly outweighed anything else.
That was until standing back and admiring his work, he realised he had an audience.
Of two.
Aw, crap.
“Whatcha doin’, Virg?”
“Mind your business.”
“Ooooh, touchy. Need some coffee?”
Gordon was standing with his arms crossed beside Alan. While Alan had some actual interest in his eyes, Gordon was channelling a combination of sprung older brother and mischief.
“What do you want, Gordon?”
“I see you have motorised the clothesline.”
“Yeah, so what?”
“How fast does it go?”
Virgil eyed his brother. The smirk was practically acidic and started eating Virgil’s eyeballs. This was going to hurt, wasn’t it.
“Fast enough.”
“Round and round? Like a turbo charged merry-go-round, possibly?”
“Gordon…”
But Alan reacted to that. “Woah, that sounds like fun.”
Virgil rubbed his face and was punished for using the wrong hand. Maybe he could claim short term breakdown of his logic centres? An addiction to tinkering?
Why the hell did he need a motorised clothesline at all? They had a dryer for that exact reason.
Did sprained wrists reduce mental capacity? Or was it just that he had known this would happen and he needed it as much as his little brothers did?
Yesterday had been hell.
Screw the excuses, they now had a motorised clothesline and all that implied.
Part of him was aghast at what he had done, the other part was too busy grinning as both Gordon and Alan hurried past and examined his creation.
Everything was loud in his head, but at least he wasn’t sad anymore.
Of course, that was the point where Gordon found the On switch and with a whirring sound and a pair of squawks, launched both himself and Alan into a high speed orbit of the metal and concrete axis of the contraption.
In other words, they started the merry-go-round and clung to the metal bars of the clothesline while it swung them around at a speed high enough for physics to lift them almost horizontal.
It was at this point Virgil realised the complete lack of safety mechanisms.
It was also the point where Scott ambled out onto the patio and exclaimed in horror.
Scott really did know how to meet just the right pitch to communicate terror where his brothers were concerned.
Ever wanting to protect Scott and his brothers from absolutely everything, Virgil jumped into kill the power on the spinning contraption.
The switch was beneath the clothesline and he had to dart in under the pair of screaming brothers - either joy or terror – neither younger brother was as clear as Scott in communication – as they spun around and around.
Killing the motor was easy, but seeing the expression on Scott’s face as he came running towards them, only had Virgil panicking enough to leap up and try to catch his brothers and slow them down faster – fix the problem at speed.
He was a Tracy and Tracys love speed.
Unfortunately, that expression on his brother’s face was enough to short circuit Virgil’s brain regarding his own safety – wasn’t the first time, likely wouldn’t be the last – he had a sprained wrist for exactly that reason, after all, and it was a major component of why he had to DO SOMETHING this morning or go out of his mind.
So, without thinking of the logical consequences, Virgil stepped into the path of his spinning brothers, intending on using heavy-lifting muscles to catch them and slow them down.
Instead, he got kicked in the head twice and went down for the count in a lovely wave of darkness.
-o-o-o-
“Virgil, what the hell were you thinking?”
It was a tired Scott voice. One that spoke of insane brothers driving him around the bend and into his grave.
Virgil opened his eyes expecting to see a terrible two lined up for discipline. But the room – Virgil’s room – was empty except for one older brother rubbing his eyes.
It was very bright and Virgil’s head complained.
“Virg? You with me?”
A grunt was all he managed.
“When I said ‘no working’ did I really have to include the clothesline?”
Virgil scrunched up his face. “You didn’t say anything about it specifically.”
Scott’s sigh of exasperation was enough. “Brains has declared it a breakthrough by the way. Apparently, you got more power out of those solar cells versus however fast you got that thing to go than should have been theoretically possible.”
“Oh?”
“He says it was a logical step on from the project the two of you were working on in the HANGARS.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh.” Was Scott gritting his teeth? “You even have John excited due to some physics rule you broke in the process. He has Eos analysing our CLOTHESLINE.”
Virgil winced. “Please don’t yell.”
“I don’t possibly see how I can’t yell. You are the responsible one. Did you break something yesterday that you have failed to declare or have you always been this way?”
Virgil glared at his brother and tried to ignore how much frowning hurt his eyebrows. “You know the answer to that.”
It was Scott’s turn to grunt. “Don’t do it again. Gordon and Alan do not need encouragement. They have enough stuff to kill themselves with already.”
Virgil had to grunt at that as well.
“Sorry.”
Another disgruntled murmur was all Scott said after that.
But he did stay with Virgil and kept and eye on him and as time proved that there was no lasting damage from being kicked in the head by two brothers swinging from a clothesline, the holoprojector may have been switched on, Scott may have joined him on the bed and there may even have been some popcorn acquired.
At one point there was an enquiry from the door, but apparently Scott had locked it and Eos was the one who answered…for some reason in an English accent that said ‘Bugger off and leave them alone!”
Virgil just hoped it hadn’t been Grandma outside the door.
But for the moment, his mind was settled, his headache fading and he was quite happy sitting beside the brother he had sprained his wrist for by pulling him out of the air the previous day, and watching trash TV they could both poke fun at.
After all, who needed to tinker when he had all that?
-o-o-o-
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breakingbadmspaint · 11 months ago
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Breaking Bad Season 4 (MS Paint)
I'm watching Breaking Bad and drawing my experience on MS Paint with my mouse.
[Season 2] [Season 3]
These seasons keep getting more intense and packed with stuff that I fear this is going to become more text than drawing soon.
Ep1
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You can't just give me my baby boy looking so cute and excited!!
OH GOD NO THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN. I JUST GOT HERE, I'M ONLY 6 MINUTES IN.
EVEN VICTOR IS UPSET (and I like to believe It's because he likes Gale)
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YEAH YOU SHOW THEM VICTOR FUCK YEAH
-- oh my god the rage you can feel off Gus right now. He's terrifying, I love him.
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THIS DOWN VIEW IS SO POWERFUL. THE REDS AND THE DARK BLUES OOOOOOO Gus feeling like he's towering over them.
THIS SCENE IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT.
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I'm watching with such intensity
-- WHAT WHY WHAT WHAT WHAT
Ep2
-- money money money money money
-- aw they're actually trying to get clean- damn it Jesse
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I hope they go back to rehab group
-- That poor roomba
-- Walt really just going to get himself killed honestly.
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These shots just keep getting better and better. You're small and blue Walt.
-- OH SHUT UP WALT, YOU DID IT ALL FOR YOURSELF
Ep 3
-- Those bastards dare use Gale's coffee machine still.
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Okay so I love Huell. I swear to god if he dies.... I can't handle it.
-- It takes one threat to Walts ego for him to finally agree to the car wash🙄
-- oh Marie is going to get herself arrested, 100%.
-- man poor Jesse. The spiral his life has gone down.
-- OH SHIT MARIE
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I think she likes the colour purple. Just a feeling.
Ep 4
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The things he has to put up with. He looks so fed up.
-- OH GOD HIS EAR
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LMAO Walts face when Skyler says "We want them to understand why you'd do something so stupid"
GET HIM SKYLER, GET HIM AND HIS STUPID EGO
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omg Gale, my baby. I'm sobbing I love this man. Singing Karaoke in Thailand living his best life.
-- YOU BETTER FEEL GUILTY WALT. YOU BETTER (He doesn't)
-- Man Walt, how can you not realise Jesse is god damn traumatised over that event and you're just trying to make him relive it.
Ep 5
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I would love some chicken right now
-- I'M SOBBING GALE IS SO CUTE
-- Jesse & Mike roadtrip montage!
-- HE SAID IT! "YOU! ARE NOT THE GUY! YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF BEING THE GUY, I HAD A GUY BUT NOW I DON'T~ YOU! ARE NOT! THE GUY~" I've heard part of the breaking bad remix before I even saw the show.
-- I really struggle to tell if Walt genuinely cares for Jesse or if it's just because he can easily manipulate him.
-- Oh no, Walt is drunk and getting his ego destroyed. This isn't a good combo.
-- OH SNAP HANK IS FIGURING IT OUT
Ep 6
-- I sense a war about to happen. Don't mess with Gus and his stuff.
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Big scary baby man with big ego wah wah
-- I don't think insulting Jesse is going to keep him on your side Walt
-- oh my god, Walt if you get those ladies killed because you don't want to clean... YOU'RE NOT EVEN HELPING THEM
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This is the father/son duo I want
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huuuuh?????
-- Walt you bastard, look what you did!
-- Does Gus actually see potential or is this manipulation???
Ep 7
-- I miss Huell, when do we get more Huell.
-- My god Walt, if you dare ask Jesse to kill for you again
-- I'm fist-fighting Walter White
-- oooh sly Hank, very sneaky. Also I just love Gus in his yellow uniform.
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He's just sat there like :T
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DAMN HANK!!! Great at his job, holy shit
Ep 8
-- I'm sure Gus will find a way out of this since he has a lot of contacts and he's smart
-- I think Hank is getting a bigger target on his back
-- HUELL!! YIPPEE
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This is beautiful
-- OOOH LOOK AT YOUNGER GUS!!! CUTE!!!
-- OH MY GOD
Ep 9
-- Oh Skyler honey, I don't think you realise he can't quit even if he wants to. He screwed up any chance of that, It's either make meth or death
-- UH OH TED OH NO SKYLER I KNEW IT'D COME BITE YOU IN THE ASS
-- HOLY SHIT MOVE JESSE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET SNIPED
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OH DAMN OMG GUS HOLY WHAT
-- ooh please say Saul walks in, pleaaase- Oh Skyler, that's unexpected. Oh my god is she playing dumb???? OH MY GOD
-- Jesse you need to stop throwing your DNA covered cigarettes everywhere
-- Walt is making me so mad omg. His ego and paranoia are going to make him end up alone
Ep 10
-- I wonder what Gus's plan is, I'm sure there is more to it than just sending Jesse away
-- HELL YEAH JESSE DAAAAMN Making Gus and Mike proud
-- TED OH MY GOD
-- Oh I'm so nervous
-- Please be poisoned, please be poisoned - wait no GUS no don't be poisoned aaaaah
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I'm so scared, how are they getting out of this
-- OMG OMG OMG OMG HOLY SHIT
Ep 11
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Is Jesse going to have to do surgery on Mike?!?
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He's so happy with his revenge
-- God I thought he was going to hit him with that chair for a moment
-- HUELL WOOOO
-- OMFG TED - okay he's still alive(?)
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"Does it have to be dirty?" "No :)"
-- See, you pushed everyone away Walt- OH SNAP
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Walter White has been ejected
-- Oh my god Walt, don't test him, he will find a way to hurt you
-- Point proven, he just threatened to kill your baby
-- Walt joker moment
Ep 12
-- Damn he's good at talking his way into a place - OH SNAP DRUG DOG
-- My god, Marie really loves purple, EVEN HER COFFEE PACKAGING IS PURPLE???? Does she buy it because It's purple???
-- Gosh what mystery potion is Walter making - OH A BOMB
Ep 13
-- UH OH Jesse
-- AHJFKHKFHA HOUSE MENTION AHAHAHA
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Walter climbing through a door like a gremlin is beautiful
-- That old lady aw, wait she's not going to get hurt right?!?
-- HOLY SHIT
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I knew it was coming but I'm still so sad
-- WOAH
-- WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS WALTER THE WHOLE TIME OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M FIGHTING HIM, I'M FIST FIGHTING HIM
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eilooxara · 10 months ago
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Ok time for an infodump I guess
Noise Control: How To Make That Fucking Thing Stop
Perhaps you hate noise. Perhaps you have neighbors or roommates or a washing machine or whatever that, despite your suffering, persists in making noise.
In that, you are like me. But one way we may differ is that I've studied physical acoustics extensively back in grad school and I know a lot about what can be done about noise.
There are a lot of methods to control noise, but they are not all equally effective; in fact, there is a strict hierarchy of efficacy, and each tier is only worth trying if you can't meaningfully do anything in the tier before it.
Tier 1: Stop it at the source
The best way to keep a noise out of your ears is to make the noise never come into existence in the first place. It's like if you have a prophesied enemy who'll destroy you so you kill their parents before they're born. Sensible!
Stopping it at the source depends, of course, on the source.
For your squeaking and creaking noises, these come from microscopic slipping and catching of two or more solid surfaces in contact with each other. There are two ways to stop these sorts: make it EASIER for the surfaces to move against one another--no catching--or make it IMPOSSIBLE (not just more difficult) for them to move against one another--no slipping. Which is better will depend on the thing! A creaky metal bed frame might be best fixed by welding the joints to prevent any movement. If you own your home and have a creaky floorboard, you could (though it's a big project) replace flooring nails with screws, because screws will keep the boards from pulling up as they flex over time. A squeaking doorknob, hinge, etc just wants some oil. Use 3 in 1 oil rather than WD40, it's a better lubricant in most cases. If you've got a fan or something that squeals, take it apart and clean it, then lubricate the bearings.
For your thumps and bumps, the noise is caused by the rapid impact of one thing on another. The best way to stop sounds like this is to soften the impact points. I'm mostly thinking of footsteps in the floor above you--a rug or carpet, especially with a soft pad underneath, will help a lot in making those footfalls not make sound in the first place.
Traffic noise mostly comes from the tires rubbing against the road. You may have noticed that traffic noise is less when there's a soft layer of snow.
But you can't make it snow (can you? If you can, DM ME PLEASE).
Time for Tier 2: I can't stop the source, but I can block the way
Sound propagates through anything. The ones that matter most here will be air and solid structures.
What to do next depends on which it's doing.
If the sound is propagating through air--your roommate is having a party outside your door, there's somebody outside with a leaf blower and it's illegal to murder them in your area, etc., then the best thing you can do is block the path of sound. Sound is great at turning around corners, so putting a shield directly between you and the source will not help much (though it may still make a noticeable difference). You want to completely fill the space between you and the sound source: a door with a 3 inch gap lets through nearly as much sound as a door that is all the way open. If you've got a little gap at the bottom of the door or window, stuff it with something. The best gap fillers will be malleable to press and fill whatever gaps exist, and they'll be heavy, and they'll be complex in shape (more on that later). But whatever you can manage is better than open air.
Ok, so what if the sound isn't coming to you through air? Your upstairs neighbors are playing DDR and the sound is coming from your ceiling.
Unfortunately, blocking the path when the sound is propagating through a structure is much harder to do. You'd have to dismantle the ceiling/wall/etc and introduce gaps between the structure on your side and on their side. If you own your home this is possible but expensive and elaborate. If you're renting then you obviously can't.
Or perhaps the source of the sound is in open air and you want to be outside, and blocking the path would mean building some sort of elaborate dome over you or it. Impractical!
Unfortunately we're at Tier 3: stuff that sort of works
Sound can be reduced in intensity by making it turn a lot of corners or go through a lot of changes in medium. Even sound that still has a direct path to your ears can be mitigated by putting something along its route that will suck some of its energy away.
What can do that?
- complex surfaces. This is where things like acoustic foam, or fluffy fabrics, or bags of sand, or shelves full of books come in. What these all have in common is very complex geometry. When a sound wave gets inside them, it has many tiny bounces and turns and twists before it gets back out.
- heavy weight. Air is light. Not-air is comparatively heavy. Every time sound moves from a light thing to a heavy thing, it loses some energy. If the sound is in a structure, like say your ceiling, your best option is to put a heavy-ass layer in between (one that's heavier than the stuff the structure is made of). Hard to do. But it would help.
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justliketherifle · 1 year ago
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Things hadn't been the same since Billy died.
Neil had skipped town, leaving you with Susan and Max. Not that you minded too much, they were a far better choice than your violent father any day. Sure, you'd been forced to move to the trailer park, but even that wasn't so bad. You still had your own room, albeit a smaller one. And it led you to meeting Eddie and joining Hellfire.
You and Max had really bonded over the loss of Billy. You both talked about what an asshole he was, but with slight smiles. After all, he was your asshole, your jerk twin brother. And something inside you ached without him.
Without Neil around, the trailer felt more like home than any place you'd ever lived. Susan and Max were lighter, more free with their words and actions, and so were you. You started to wear makeup, something Neil had forbidden, and dress more how you actually wanted to. Jeans with holes at the knees, band tees, and a leather jacket. Oh, and you'd chopped your hair to chin length the day he left. Did it yourself in the bathroom. And it worked well on you.
You had gotten a job at Family Video with Steve and Robin to help with bills, and the three of you had grown really close through everything. In fact, you had a weekly movie night and often stayed over at each other's houses. Truth be told though…you had it bad for Steve. You'd seen him beaten and bloody and you'd seen him be a hero. You'd been there for him, and he had done the same for you. Not that you didn't have that with Robin, but…it was just…different with Steve. Something else was in the air when you two got together. At least for you. You had no idea how he felt, and you were far too scared to screw up your friendship and broach the subject with him.
You missed Hopper as well of course, had cried for him more times than you could count. And you missed El and the Wheelers something fierce. But the gate was closed and you all felt somewhat safe and normal.
So all in all, things should have been relatively okay.
Except.
Except for the nightmares. Except for that damn ache in your chest.
You'd dream of the mall, of the Mind Flayer killing him right in front of you, every. single. night.
Susan had forced you to see a psychiatrist against your wishes; it was pointless, after all. Not like you could tell her what had really happened. But you went and made stuff up and she'd prescribed you Temazepam to help you sleep.
And it worked. Most nights, anyway. But one night, you just couldn't sleep. You'd already taken two pills and nothing. Finally, with a sigh, you grabbed the pill bottle off your night stand and looked in at its contents.
You thought about Billy, about how much you fucking missed him. Especially today: it was your birthday. Your first without him there to share it with you. You'd continue to get older, and Billy never would.
Hot tears sprang to your eyes. God, why was it him? Why didn't it take you too?
As you sat on the edge of your bed looking down at those pills, you felt something inside you shatter. You couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but picture him dead on the mall floor.
And so, without letting yourself second guess it, you dumped the pills into your mouth and washed them down with the bottle of vodka you'd stolen from the local liquor store. You'd been drinking off it all night, and you were fairly drunk at that point.
You laid back on your bed and let your tears flow freely. You'd see Billy soon.
Then, you thought of Steve. Beautiful Steve, your best friend, and the man you were now realizing you were definitely in love with. And you decided, in your drunken haze, that he definitely deserved to know.
You reached over and grabbed the phone off its hook, dialing his number slowly. You hoped his answering machine would pick up, but if not, you'd tell him anyway. It was your last chance.
"Hello?" came Steve's sleepy voice.
"Steve," you slurred.
"Y/N? It's like one in the morning. Are you drunk?"
You giggled a bit, before turning serious. "Listen, Steve, you gotta know something, okay? You gotta hear this, it's important."
"Okay," he replied, amusement in his tone. "What do I need to know that couldn't wait until daylight?"
You took a deep breath, feeling woozy. "Steve. Stevie. You're mine, you know? And…and I'm yours."
"Okay?" Steve said, unsure. "Look, I gotta get some more sleep, so if you could get through this before the sun rises."
You groaned in frustration. "'m trying but it's hard. I know I don't have much time and wanted to say it right."
"Okay okay, just tell me."
You took in another deep breath as the room started spinning. "I love you. Not as a friend. More. So much more. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you until it was too late."
There was silence for a moment, then:
"You…you love me…?" Steve asked breathlessly.
"Yes. Gotta go now, Stevie." Your eyes were getting heavy with sleep.
"Wait, hold on, can we talk about this, please?" he begged.
"Sorry, Stevie. Billy's waiting for me," you said into the receiver.
With that, you fell unconscious, Steve's voice in your ear asking you frantically what that meant.
You woke up to vomit coming out of your mouth and nose and landing in the bathtub. Your arms hung into the tub and someone was behind you holding you in place.
Once you finished, you collapsed back into the person, panting. The person turned you to face them, and it was Steve. Your perfect Steve. His eyes were red, tears flowed down his cheeks and he was almost sobbing.
You began to cry too, at what you had tried to do, at the fact that you had failed and you were still alone, still without your other half.
"What were you thinking, (Y/N)?" Steve demanded through his tears.
"I'm sorry," you choked out. "I just hate being without him. It feels wrong to be alive. I have this ache in my chest and it never goes away, Steve. I live with it every day and I'm just so tired."
Steve said nothing but crushed you to him, squeezing you tightly as sobs began to rip out of you. He rocked you back and forth as you both cried. It was almost cathartic.
When your cries finally subsided, Steve picked you up and carried you to your room, where he sat you on your bed so you were leaning against the headboard. He sat on the edge of your bed, turning to face you. You looked down at your hands, now feeling equal parts sober, exhausted, and nervous.
"Are you mad?" you asked softly.
Steve sighed and reached out to take your hand. "No, I'm not mad, (Y/N), I'm fucking terrified. You almost just died right in front of me, all right? I…I almost lost you. Fuck, I almost lost you." You watched him lift your hand to his cheek, like he needed to feel you to know you were still there, still alive. You met his eyes and saw the fear there, and god, you felt so guilty to have caused that.
"I know, Stevie, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry," you cried, feeling the tears come back.
"Hey," Steve whispered, cupping your face in his hands. "It's okay, you're okay. Thank god you called me."
"I didn't expect you to come save me like a big damn hero," you said with a laugh, sniffling a bit.
He laughed too, but then his face turned serious. You put your hands over his and gave him a questioning look.
"Don't do that again, okay? Please?" he pleaded.
You nodded, now sure that you wouldn't. "I won't, I promise."
He let out a relieved breath. "Good. Good. I'm gonna go clean your bathtub real quick, okay? Just wait here."
Steve ran to the bathroom and you heard the shower turn on. After a few moments, he returned to your room and rejoined you on the bed.
Steve sighed and took your hand in his once more, rubbing light circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.
"Did you mean it?" he asked quietly.
You looked down at your hands. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. I do. I…I love you, Steve."
He huffed a laugh and you looked up at him, confused.
"Sorry, I just…I've been wanting to tell you the same thing since the mall. I know it sounds strange, but after…when I was holding you and you were crying on my shoulder? That was when I realized that I love you."
You half laughed, half sobbed at that.
Steve took your hand in both of his. "In that moment, I would've done anything to take that pain away. It killed me to know what you were going through and that there was nothing I could do to really help."
"But you did help," you choked out. "You've helped so much these past few months, Steve. Spending time with you and Robin probably saved my life. You especially."
Steve smiled at that. "Yeah?"
You smiled back through your tears. "Yeah. And tonight you literally saved my life. And I'll never forget that." You frowned as a thought hit you. "Oh, Steve? Please don't tell the others about this. I promise that I will. I think it's important I tell them." You sniffled, then laughed. "You know, we should start an Upside Down support group."
Steve laughed too. "We really should. God knows we've all got our share of trauma from living in this town. Now, I think I should grab you some water and you should lay down and get some rest."
You signed. "Yeah, ummm…that's probably not gonna happen."
He quirked his head at you adorably. "Why's that?"
"Well, the reason I took those pills in the first place was because I couldn't sleep, or when I did, I…" You couldn't say it out loud.
"Nightmares?"
You let out a breath. "Every. Damn. Night. Just variations on that night at Starcourt. All ending horribly."
Steve nodded. "Yeah, I get 'em sometimes too. They're a bitch."
"Yeah. Um…Steve?"
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
You blushed at that. "Would you…stay with me? I think it might help. And I just really don't want you to go."
Steve smiled, that gorgeous grin of his lighting up his entire face. "Of course, baby. I'm not going anywhere."
You laid down in your bed fully, moving over a bit to give him room. Steve held up a finger, indicating he'd be right back, and left the room. You heard running water from the kitchen, and soon he was back with a glass of water. You drank the entire thing and he set the cup on your nightstand before taking off his shoes and climbing into bed with you.
You faced one another and took in each other's features. Your eyes flitted down to Steve's lips, and then he did the same, once, twice, then a third time. Finally, you got tired of waiting.
"Stevie?" you asked.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask for one more favor?"
"Of course, anything."
"Will you please kiss me already?"
Steve wasted no time in moving to press his lips against yours. You gasped into the kiss, fireworks exploring in your head. You had never been in love before now, had never kissed someone you were in love with, and it was absolutely incredible.
You placed your hand on his cheek, crying once more. For Billy, yes, but also out of joy and love. No, you'd never try to hurt yourself again. There were too many important things…important people you'd leave behind.
You pulled away, gasping for air. Steve was much the same. You both grinned goofily at each other, totally blissed out from that mind-blowing first kiss.
You scooted toward him and you both quickly got comfortable. Your head was on Steve's chest, hand entwined with his on his stomach.
"Love you, Stevie," you mumbled sleepily.
"Love you too, baby. Happy birthday."
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llycaons · 7 months ago
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oh boy an article telling me I needto buy stuff. waitdoes that say endoscopes
Traffic cones
The first time a contractor needs to park on your street, or your in-laws are visiting and they like to park right in front of your house or you have a broken sidewalk that could lead to a messy personal injury lawsuit, you’re going to want traffic cones. Having a few of these babies out in your shed or down in your basement will make your life a lot easier if you need to block off areas or warn pedestrians or drivers—or just save your parking spot when you run to the store for.
poorly written, sloppy. that last sentance is literally unfinished. and I feel like keeping a parking spot is a real shady use of safety gear
Endoscope
It sounds fancy, but an endoscope tool is just a small camera at the end of a flexible wire. Having one means you’ll be able to see inside small, closed-off spaces without tearing holes in your walls or floors, you’ll be able to discover the reason your kitchen sink won’t drain properly, where that screw wound up when you dropped it, and what is making that disturbing scratching noise in your bedroom wall. There are a lot of affordable ones that work with your phone as a screen, and you’ll be glad you have it.
...huh
Rechargeable lighter
Blackouts are going to happen, and pilot lights are going to go out. Rather than relying on wooden matches you forget to restock (and that can go bad over time if stored improperly) or a traditional fueled lighter that you can forget to refuel, a rechargeable lighter needs no fuel and has a flexible neck enabling you to get it into tight spots.
silly argument. if you can forget to refuel a lighter, you can forget to recharge one
Zip ties
Once you own them, you will use zip ties constantly. You’ll use them to tie stuff together, to tie stuff down, to make temporary repairs, and a dozen other ways. The simplicity, relative durability, and cheapness of zip ties makes them something everyone should have on hand in their home.
I actually agree with this. we have bungee cords but I feel like zip ties would work better in a lot of situations
Mover’s dolly
Whether it’s a couch, a washing machine, or any other large, heavy, bulky object or appliance, you need a mover’s dolly. Hang it in the garage and forget about it, and then when you need to transport your old fridge to the curb you can glide it out there with ease, or when you decide the living room needs to be totally re-arranged to encourage positive energy flows, you won’t break your back trying to move every piece of furniture by lifting it.
I could use this. wish I had a garage
Magnetic pickups
If you've ever dropped (and subsequently lost) a tiny screw or nail into a narrow opening, you need a magnetic pick-up tool like this one. Never lose a screw, bolt, or other tiny metal object again—even if it goes down your bathroom drain.
I wish we had those in the operating room...we have a magnetic roller thing for suture but idk if it ever actually works
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the-firebird69 · 10 months ago
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What would you have done?💀
This is Chrissy being threatened by Trump and Dan is right there and she threatens her to be his fiance and eventually marry him and then he dies and he's saying all sorts of dumb things about our son he thinks that she's Hera or something I mean he's a nutcase he can't figure out
Thor Freya
Olympus
You too don't care what happens to you when you harass people we're tired of people like you and which are you you go in the machine because the max want to test the metal and they want to test you your body and my middle not me and I want to threaten that's why the watch is not made out of regular metal
Zues Hera
Will it make us sick I said mostly probably give you bone cancer in your wrist because you're not a mutant in your body just your brain and I guess so probably not massively sick or even bone cancer he says just a little bit of skin problems and I get that wash probably take care of it salt wash so I see something else it's collecting radiation and we're making ourself sick this is terrible. I didn't ask for this life with the max whatever it's always been this way and the max have always messed with me but this kid is messed with by them to no end you should see it he can't have a minute of rest she just walk around like constantly waking him up and jamming stuff in his face and having us do it it's the most unrelenting verbal attack I've ever seen in my life I'm surprised he hasn't just lit the place on fire what he says is I can't do anything but I'm thinking ways to try and defeat them and I'm not letting them know and they know a little bit but boy they're freaking nuts it's horrible I don't really blame him for what's going on you're my own son is having him say stuff and we're floored can't keep doing this now I went ahead and bothered her it's ridiculous and I don't know why I'm doing it it's not his wife or girlfriend this is odds he says it's probably why the screw around with the assassins and they're not the ones that shot JFK and I don't know why I'm doing anything
Trump
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lakrapackersandmovers · 2 years ago
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Packing some essentials at the home of the best movers and packers in Bhubaneswar
Packing some essentials at the home of the best movers and packers in Bhubaneswar
You have hired the professionals as you are relocating. The customer wants it to be a stress-free process. Read the tips below to make everything easy and quick, not just for you and your family but also for the packers and movers in Bhubaneswar.
Preparation
Organized the rooms so that all the clutter and unwanted things were removed. This will help save money for the boxes, which can be sold for some value. Our aim is to pack only what is essential, and packing items that are not needed will be a waste of time and is definitely not the best plan.
Best packers and movers Bhubaneswar Cum lakra packers and movers Naharkanta, Odisha
Get the boxes and packaging material like sellotape, wrapping paper, protective wrap, and newspapers. You can arrange for them from friends, neighbors, and stores. If you start packing early, you can get more boxes if required. This is only for kitchen items. You will have packers and movers from Bhubaneswar do all the packing with the packaging material.
Tips on packing of Bhubaneswar packers and movers
Cutlery and crockery need to be packed in the boxes safely. Place a layer of packing paper or cloth to form a cushion, and then place the heavy chinaware across the bottom. Place the rest, wrapped in a newspaper, until the box is full. Add another layer of screwed-up packing paper or cushion before sealing the container. Wrap cups, bowls, and mugs, then place them in the center of the box with plates on the sides. Use cushions or pillows to stuff the sides of the boxes.
Iron, Fryers, Coffee makers, Refrigerators, Freezers, and Washing machines must be drained and dried several days before. If the furniture is to be dismantled, keep all the screws, nuts, and bolts together. If you have a box full of books, indicate them as they can bear weight. Mark the fragile ones. Electric cookers and gas must be disconnected; replace all fittings with caps and plugs.
Experiences staff of packers and movers in Bhubaneswar patia | Lakra Services  
Garments, linen, bedding can be placed in the boxes, and plastic liners on the day you move. Lamp shades must be removed from fittings and packed as breakables. Carpet tacks should be removed and rolled; avoid bending them and check with the tips on how to pack valuable Household items of packers and movers Sambalpur
Hi-Fi, DVD and computer accessories, record players, and disks must be emptied from drawers. They must be secured away in containers or boxes.
Dangerous material must be put into the boxes early, especially if you have children. Items like gas bottles, garden chemicals, pesticides, paints, and petrol or diesel canisters should be marked and, packed, emptied if possible.
Start packing or putting the things in boxes so you can take time and place something. Items that are not required daily can be put away in the boxes. Like your winter clothes, if you are moving in summer, they can be easily put away in trunks or suitcases. You should also know the best time to push for hassle-free moving.
Label the boxes, along with the contents, and number them as well. Assign the boxes according to the rooms in the new house. This will save time when unpacking, as you will know which packages belong to the room. Try to fill the boxes appropriately, as you cannot move them quickly with the help of packers and movers.
Best time for relocating the home of packers and movers in Cuttack
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Many people need to choose their favorite time for relocating the house. Their moving is generally linked to other factors like a job transfer or a dead clock. But if you have a choice or can wait, you should shift to the most favorable time of the year.
If you don't consider the most favorable time's importance, you will spend more money than otherwise. The right time for moving is different for everyone and is decided by several factors.
Movers and packers in Bhubaneswar of Lakra Packers and Movers
Packers and movers near me share a list of a few common suggestions:
To save some money, your priority must always be to drift your move timing away from the peak season. The spring, summer vacation, and extended festival holidays seem best for relocation, but generally, those times are flooded with relocating assignments for movers. At peak time, you have to pay the price of their choice. And a general estimate says that the price difference between a typical mover during peak season and idle time can be as big as 25-30 %. This makes a big difference in your total cost basket.
Winters are cozy; who would like to relocate in winter? But think once again. Winter is the time when you get the best deals on the property as well as moving. Winters are generally more quiet times for professional dealings. You might benefit from being the only customer on the counter.
Avoid moving before a big festival, i.e., Diwali, Christmas, New Year, etc. A new location can cut down the pleasures of the festival as there is only significant celebration with family and friends. On the other hand, planning the move just after the festival gives you the best time to do a final farewell at the festival get-together.
The definition of favorable time may vary for everyone. Some would want a convenient move; others would go for a more economical one. If you want to move for less money, the best time for your relocation seems in weekdays when movers are more or less idle. You get better deals as well as hurry-free movers and packers in Bhubaneswar. Otherwise, if you want convenience, consider moving on weekends as it ensures no leave from the office and a two-day time to finish the move smoothly. Also, you may get the helping hands of your friends or relatives on the weekend to assist you.
If you have kids, they must also be considered while moving. If they need to change schools (Long distance moving), shifting should be done accordingly. Generally, summer holidays are best for this purpose as a new school session can be resumed after a long break of unpacking and making new friends in a new location. Children must refrain from mixing up in new localities as quickly as adults. They should be given time to relax before the new school session begins; otherwise, their academic performances might be affected.
Packers and movers in near Patrapada Bhubaneswar | Packers and movers in Khorda | Packers and movers in Odisha | Packers and movers in Patia Bhubaneswar | Packers and movers in sailshree vihar
There is a whole set of constraints on you; economic move vs. peaceful move or an optimum combination of both. Whatever your requirement is, make it well-planned, and you will enjoy a smooth relocation. You should also know tips for handling valuable goods during packers and movers' Cuttack.
Written by Lakra Services
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messedupessy · 6 years ago
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For the ship thing, what about fluffyhoodies? SF!PapsxUF!Sans?
It’s a C: Not a bad ship and D: I’m neutral on it UwU ✨
I’m not super into it, but what I have seen I do like ye, I’m mostly neutral and not super into it mostly because of how I imagine they would work with my own take on the boys, but the things I have read and seen tho is pretty sweet ye
But with my own boys is that Red wants nothing to do with Rus at all I’m actually pretty sure Red might even try to kill him and shit pfft xD haven’t thought super much about it tho but it is possible it could change but I am very sure they will butt heads af
Send me a ship and I will rate it
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loversindevildom · 3 years ago
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hello! I'm not that anon but thank you for the other period-related hcs, if it's okay, may I ask for the brothers' reactions to an MC who doesn't have painful ones, but bleeds A Lot and is terrified of getting communal/the brothers' stuff dirty? people with monster uteruses unite
((Definitely!! Currently on my period while writing this and felt it-
((Also would you look at that, the me is posting again-
Masterlist
The boys x MC with heavy flow
Lucifer
It all began when one of your worst nightmares came true.
You woke up early in the morning having bled all over his sheets.
You were panicking. Badly.
Lucifer was still sound asleep on his side of the bed, having noticed nothing.
Without thinking, you immediately get out of bed and go fast towards the wardrobe to grab some sheets.
You had no idea how you were going to change them without waking Lucifer up but one step at a time.
But he was already awake as soon as he felt you get off the bed. "MC?" He mumbled your name quietly before opening his eyes.
You wished a hole could open underneath your feet and the earth would swallow you. You also happened to be wearing white pijamas and so the blood was obvious all over you.
Lucifer had just woken up and was not thinking straight so his first thought was that someone attacked you or that another demon attempted to eat you and immediately rushed to you and pulled you in his arms. "Who?"
"what?"
"Who hurt you?"
"no one... I'm so sorry!!" You cried in dispair and that's when Lucifer started understanding what was going on.
"It's your menstruation? I thought someone attacked you... It's alright. I'll go fill in the bath for you."
Thankfully you changed the sheets before he realized you got them dirty.
Or so you thought. In reality he had noticed but didn't want to embarass you.
Mammon
He knew you were on your period.
You had told him the moment it came.
But it didn't matter to him much. He didn't know many things about it, only that you're in pain.
"Hey, come on, sit with me." He patted the couch beside him in his room.
He knew you were hurting and he wanted to cuddle you and watch some movies with you and spoil you with chocolate he stole from Beel.
When you shook your head in return, his heart shattered. "I'm not really in that mood."
"B-But! It's your favourite!"
"I'll just go to sleep."
"We can sleep together here."
You sighed and he felt the world twist. You didn't want him anymore? That's it? It was over?
"What did I do?"
"nothing! I just don't want to get blood all over your couch!"
"Ohh..." He felt relieved. That was all. Truth be told, this couch was pretty expensive but you were worth ten times that couch...
"Don't you wear that pad thing you talked about?" After you nodded he added. "Then it's fine. Get your stupid pretty human ass here now. You don't wanna miss the beginning."
Leviathan
He wanted you two to cosplay today.
You had been planning to go to that convention for months.
The day had arrived and he had excitedly changed into his costume only for you to come out and say you're not going.
And he's ???? So confused ????
He thought you wanted this as much as he did.
Did you fake your interest?
"look, Levi, I'm sorry. I was really looking forward to the con but I got my period today."
Ohhhhhhh it was because of that thing. That was a relief.
"it's fine! The con is a week long, we'll go by the end of it. And we can wear the costumes inside and cuddle!"
The idea horrified you.
"NO!" The costumes were amazing and Levi had paid of them. You couldn't ruin it.
"why?" He was confused again.
"I'll get blood all over it. I always get things dirty. You should keep me away from your stuff." After all you knew how much he valued his merch.
Leviathan rolled his eyes and walked over to you. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you down with him. He wrapped a TSL blanket over you and proceeded to play games with you all night.
After all, you were more valuable than all these together.
Satan
You two had visited Devildom's public library to get a book he had ordered for you.
He had seen how fascinated you were as soon as you heard it came out and immediately ordered it for you.
You were looking around the shelves with him while the staff was going to bring you your book when you felt an intense pain on your lower parts.
Looking down you realized blood was leaking everywhere.
Panicking, not sure what to do you hid behind a bookshelf.
Satan panicked as soon as he realized you were gone.
What if another demon had fetched you and eaten you?
"MC?" He called out your name. Once, twice, thrice...
"Here..." You said in embarrassement. You had the idea of using a jacket to cover the mess in your pants. But you had accidentally grabbed his...
When he finds you he was relieved. "There you are, I was worried..." Then he scanned you. "My jacket looks good on you."
You weren't sure how to tell him, so you continued and went all the day back to the house of Lamentation when you immediately put it in the washing machine.
Of course, he had noticed. You had been dripping on the floor.
But being aware this was a normal thing, he decided not to embarass you and make a big deal out of it.
Asmodeus
You were screwed.
You were seriously screwed and not in the good way.
This had been a lesson to you to always keep in mind when your period was coming.
Because the one time you had forgotten, you had wore Asmo's clothes to sleep.
He told you you could use them whenever you wanted.
It made him very happy to see you wearing his clothes and it made you feel very comfortable so why not?
This was the reason not to.
Because waking up that morning, you had gotten blood all over his clothes.
"Shit."
Your exclaim and panic woke him up, but he was too focused on your face to notice the blood at first.
"What happened, my love? Are you okay?"
"I'm so sorry, Asmo!!"
It took him a few seconds but then he realized exactly what you were talking about. He took a deep breath. This was a disaster, but you didn't do it on purpose.
"It's fine. It's your time of the month? Come on we should get you changed. Wanna run a bath together? I can give you a massage too." He winked as he got up to get the water running. He prefered to focus on you than his ruined clothing.
And this, my friends, is called love.
Beelzebub
You were always careful when it was your time of the month not to get anything dirty. Always.
However, the unfortunate day had arrived.
You were in his bed, playing on your DDD while Beel was picking up some food from the kitchen.
And then it happened. The major pain. And you realized you had been bleeding all over his sheets. You should change them before Beel-
Speak of the devil....
Beel walked in happily and let the food down on the tray next to the bed. As he leaned down to put them there he noticed the blood and frowned.
You were scared you had disgusted him.
"are you hurting too badly? I'll bring you some medicine."
Cause he's that sweet.
Diavolo
Yes I will say this every single time I write about this one;
He's busy.
So even if you do get blood in his stuff you'll certainly have time to clean it.
However, fate isn't very nice...
When Diavolo is in his study, he likes to work with you sitting on his lap.
When you felt the sharp pain in your stomach you immediately jumped off his lap and fell on the floor.
"MC? What happened!? Are you okay?" He asked worrily.
You didn't answer him, instead you run towards the bathroom.
Yes, you didn't get anything on him but it was big a jumpscare itself.
Diavolo knocked on your door once. "Dear? What happened?"
"nothing! It's fine, my period just came!"
He was silent for a bit. You thought he left but as soon as you opened the door he was standing right there and he hugged you. "I see... Come on, let's go back. I promise we'll cuddle when Im done."
"I'll get blood all over you!" You argued back.
In response he picked you up and walked back to his chair where he made you sit on him again.
Simeon
Simeon is such a sweetheart.
He probably has already noted your circle on his calendar.
He remembers when it's that time of the month always.
Usually, so do you.
Usually.
You had miscalculated this time. You thought it was due for next week and so you had wore a nice white dress for your date with Simeon.
He wasn't sure what to say. He thought you looked gorgeous in that one but...
"Sweetheart, are you sure? I love the way the dress looks at you but I don't want you to feel bad if it gets dirty."
You were so confused. "What?"
"You said you avoid wearing white when it's that time of the month... Unless you're late? Oh my lord, are you late?" His eyes were shining and that's when you realized what he meant.
"shit! No I am not! Wait here!" You rushed back into your room to get changed and indeed found blood between your legs.
You couldn't find yourself feeling bad tho.
All you could thinking about was the way Simeon's eyes had shined at the thought of being a father.
Solomon
As a human like yourself, he treats it much more normal than the others do.
He doesn't treat you any different then really, unless you're in pain.
Then you're getting backrubs.
You were sitting on the couch with him and he was telling you a story about how he first formed a pact.
When he was finished you felt the need to go to the bathroom.
Then you noticed the red stain in your pants.
Shit that was a lot of blood. Had you gotten it on the chair too?
Thankfully, when you returned it was gone.
And thankfully, Solomon knew magic to clean it quicker.
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writingsbychlo · 3 years ago
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sun in the shadows (03)
word count; 12,706
summary; trying to make some headway on the study leads to an interesting revelation, and progress in your friendship with noah.
notes; if this part is a little sucky, I apologise. it was a last minute addition that I created because I realised I wanted to include some extras.
warnings; brief mentions of panic attacks/anxiety, but it’s very mild.
The weather was improving, the drizzle of the winter and the grey skies overhead were getting lighter, the showers of rain were getting less frequent and the winter was moving on. Spring was making itself known, bulbs of daffodils were finally taking root in the soil, and green was sprouting from the earth that had been frozen over and dead only a couple of weeks ago. The watery floors were drying up, limited ice was fading away, and graduation was sitting right on the horizon for you all.
Your fingers flexed around the strap of your bag, rooting through the contents to find a place to slip your file inside, all your notes for the class you’d be having were inside, and there was a blank page for your next session waiting to be filled out. Once it had its place, albeit getting a little bit crumbled against the other content, you removed your wallet, a few coins jingling in the bottom, and you hoped it was enough for two coffees.
There was a coffee stand not too far away, and you were hoping an extra shot of coffee before you went in might get your brain working a little faster. Only a couple of feet ahead of you was a face you recognised, a dark jumper to match dark denim jeans, a pair of boots for motorbike riding that were beginning to scuff along the edges and the toes. He was hanging over his money, a brown bag holding a pretzel and a tall cup, the tell-tale tag of a teabag hanging over the edge, and he walked away.
Joining the back of the line, you watched him go, sitting not far across the quarter with his headphones on, settling on one of the recently repainted memorial benches. He pulled the tab on eh coffee back, opening it up and a cloud of steam left the drink, curling up into the air that still held a slight chill, drifting away to disappear as he blew against the surface of the drink. In his other hand was his phone, scrolling aimlessly on it as a way to keep himself disconnected from everyone else around him and prompt nobody else to join him. His bag was out on the bench too, pushed a short distance from his body in an attempt to take up the rest of the space to deter company.
Ordering a simple set of black coffees, and finding you had just enough change for a muffin too, you waited patiently for your order, an assortment of condiments and the double-chocolate treat you’d paid for being handed to you first. There was a grinding, the slight screech of the machine as it crushed the beans to create two black coffees for you, plastic lids sealed on and two cardboard jackets fastened around them.
Balancing the load between them all, you headed over to him, using your knee to nudge the bag up the bench until it bumped his leg, and he jerked slightly, looking up to see you. Offering him a beam, his narrowed eyes lightened a little, and he sighed. Putting down his phone and moving his bag to the floor, he lifted the headphones away from his ears, and let them hang around his neck. Sitting yourself down, he slumped back into the wood, and you scooted up to sit closer to him, placing the spare coffee you’d bought for Stiles on the floor away from your feet.
“Hey, Noah!” He gave a short nod, still a little uncomfortable, and he turned to face you more. “So, what’s your schedule looking like this afternoon?”
“How did you know I was here?”
You shrugged, opening up the bag of extras and searching through for a couple of sweetener packets, and a wooden stirrer. “I didn’t. I was just gonna’ grab a coffee before class and head to my hall early, because, y’know, studying at home is distracting.” Your hand waved off the statement, finding the packets you wanted, and clutching your cup between your knees for stability. “So, anyway I was going to text you when I got there, but then I saw you, so I figured I’d come and say ‘hey’!”
“Right.”
“So, hey!” You waved a little before taking the top from your coffee, and leaving it on the bench beside yourself. “I ask once again, what’s your schedule looking like this afternoon?”
“Well, since I am the most popular guy at this college, I’m pretty busy.” He smiled a little at his own joke, particularly when you gave him a laugh, and your brow raised.
“Oh, he’s got jokes today, huh? I like it, I can roll with that.” Tipping the sugar into the cup, you added a couple of packets, before stirring it slowly. “I take it you’re free, then. I was hoping we could squeeze in some study stuff this afternoon. I have a class in a couple of minutes, but I wanted to see if you were free?”
“Well, I’m free all day. I had a six AM class.” His face screwed up at the idea, and you could feel his pain, having spent the entirety of your sophomore year with a teacher who held lectures at six AM so she could avoid her morning sickness before class, and rush home for it afterwards. Professor Anderson going off on her maternity leave was the best thing that had happened to your education that year.
“Great, I’ll sort it with Stiles, and we’ll text you the details.”
“Sounds like a thrill. I can hardly wait.” He smiles, the sarcasm just like his brothers as it came through, and you repaid him for the joke with a chuckle. While the two of you had made progress, you could tell he was still a little unsure around you. You were polar opposites and he didn’t take well to that, the atmosphere that you brought with you could be a little too much for him to handle sometimes, you couldn’t stop the guilt that was eating at you a little. “What’s wrong? You’ve got a look on your face like you want to talk about things. Just warning you, I’m not good at that heart-to-heart stuff.”
“Yeah, I’ve witnessed that.”
“Shut it.” He teased, sticking his tongue out at you childishly, and you grinned cheesily in reply to him. “You can tell me, though. Can’t promise I’ll help, but..”
“It’s nothing weighing me down. I just wanted to apologise. I clearly interrupted your free time. You got yourself a little pretzel to eat in silence, and everything.” He offers you a blank look at your slight dig, and you only winked, waving the muffin in a bag that you’d bought, and taking a sip of your coffee once the lid was sealed back on. “People usually like it when I stop by to see them, I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay, really.” His words were strained, the response bringing you no relief as he forced them out, and your frown remained. “I’m serious, okay? It’s alright.”
You were trying your best but learning the lines with Noah was different to you. Upon starting college you’d been thrown in at the deep end of socialisation and a whole world you’d never quite had access to before. Coming from a smaller town that had always limited your expectations was tough, and you’d taken it differently from the way Noah had. You’d had so many experiences, becoming legal to drink and venturing beyond your comfort zone, truly leaving home and facing the idea of having your life laid out before you, the first time truly having your heartbroken, and being too far to simply collapse into the arms of your mom or dad for support when things got messed up.
“When does your class start?” You jumped, lost in your thoughts as you slumped back into the bench, and you sat up straight again, turning to find that Noah was already looking at you, eyes scanning over you slowly. It was a good reminder, time had been slipping away from you and in the ease of his peaceful and quiet company, you could have sat there for hours.
Checking your watch, you sighed, lifting your bag strap back up onto your shoulder more securely, and packing everything you had with you inside, leaving you to hold a coffee cup in each hand. “In about ten minutes.”
“How about I walk you?” He picked up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder, and you nodded, a warmer feeling at his offer blooming where cold guilt had been. Standing up and making sure not to spill any of the scalding coffee onto your hand. Peering around the busy campus quarters that was more filled now than it had been for months, the lighter weather tempting groups to come out of their dormitories and the cafés to gather outside instead.
He fell into step beside you, toes scuffing occasionally on the slightly uneven stonework of the quad, before it fell away into smooth concrete pathways on the way to your lecture. The grass alongside each path was growing greener, dull colour fading away into something brighter. Paper crinkled beside you, the cup of tea in his hands being finished and the cardboard cup was crushed between string fingers, knuckles even paler than usual as he crumpled it up, and as you approach the closest bin, it was disposed of.
Your fingers flexed around your coffee cup, almost having forgotten that it was there as the heat from the two began to fade away a little. Taking a sip, the refreshing burst of sweetened caffeine was like a spark to your system, and you revelled in it. “How do you take your coffee?”
You lower the cup from your lips, swallowing your mouthful, and you couldn't stop the rise of your brows once you turned to look at him. “Creamer, usually. I like a caramel flavoured one. But, since I’m not big on creamer in packets or from street vendors, this one just has sweeteners.”
“Cool.” He nodded, and your lips pressed together tightly to try and contain the smile you wanted to let free, silence forming between you both for a moment, a further gathering of steps as the two of you went on, your building coming into sight again. “Did you watch the news last night?”
“Is this small talk?”
“It’s an attempt at small talk.” He winced, and you chuckled, a small smile on his features as the fear of judgement or humiliation washed away, and he gave a sigh.
“Okay, let's try this.” Your mind spun, searching for a track of something to talk about, and a thought clicked into space. “If you could watch one genre of movies for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“Comedy. Like, comedy-action. You know, ones like ‘Jumanji’ or something?” He was quick with it, certain about his answer, and you nodded.
“Yeah? That was quick. How come you’re so sure?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, one hand coming up to hold his bag strap, swinging it to the side to be able to get inside, and fish out the paper bag with a pretzel inside. “I guess I just think they’re good for you. Good for the soul. They have action and it keeps you a little on the edge of your seat, but it’s funny. It's easy-going, when you’ve got anxiety, or you’re having a bad day, or you just want background noise, they’re perfect.”
“Alright. Fair enough. Okay, tricky one.” his eyes narrowed a little, but an amused look passed over his features while he waited. “If you had to choose specifically between comedy and action, which is it?”
“It’s got to be action. Because comedy usually means Adam Sandler or Seth Rogen, and some of their comedies are good, but some are jus-” He paused, jaw dropping a little, and his hand came out, pausing in front of your to bring you to a halt too. A smile curled on your lips, and he looked shocked. “Holy shit, you’re good!”
“Ask a basic question that people are passionate about, it always leads to more options, and everyone always wants to talk about something fun.” His head shook slowly, as though he was in disbelief, and you took a dramatic bow, trying not to spill the coffees in your hands as you giggled. “Give it a go, I bet you can do it.”
The paper in his hands crinkled, your footsteps taking up again, and the two of you were making your way towards the building once again. Taking a bite from his pretzel, a piece torn away with his teeth, he thought it over. “Does your family have any secret or ‘famous’ recipes?”
“Oh, that’s a good one. Kudos to you, Noah.”
“Thank you. I thought about it for, like, eight whole seconds.” He grinned, the joke moving away from you both as you left it behind, and you thought about his question.
“Maybe it’s not my family recipe, just a personal one, but I’m great at making lasagne.” He scoffed, and you nudged him with your elbow. “I’m serious! I make a great lasagne!”
“You don’t seem like a cook to me, is all! You seem like the sort of person who’d manage to burn a pit of water.”
“You can’t burn water, an.. oh, I just got it. You jerk.” It was a joke, your nose screwing up as you stuck your tongue out at him, thanking him a second later as he held the door open for him. The bright lights of the outside changed to artificial lights in the halls, not as much coming through the windows as trees outside managed to cast shade into the building. “Well, I can cook. I love to cook, and I’m good at it. Especially lasagne. My family are generally the only ones who have ever had it, and thanks to that insult, you’ll never have it.”
“Oh, woah, no! You have to let me try it now. Prove me wrong, or I’ll be forced to believe you’re bluffing.”
“You’re sneaky.” You scoffed, students filling the hall and filtering in from different sides of the building, lectures in different halls all waiting to take place, and you stepped to the side of the corridor once your doorway was within reach. “If you’re lucky.”
“I’m betting on that.”
Glancing back, Stiles was already inside, as expected. Stiles Stilinski had never once been on time, he was either twenty minutes early or twenty minutes late, and since he’d spent the night with Derek, who was an early bird, you’d figured which one today would be. His head was slumped on his hm half-asleep and on the verge of drooling as he sat there, and you chuckled, turning to Noah. “Thanks for walking me. Also, thanks for small-talking with me.”
“Thanks for the advice on small talk.”
“I’m gonna’ head inside, but, I’ll see you later, okay?” He nodded, confirming the times with you, and lingering a moment longer. It was quiet, but not so tense, and he rolled on the balls of his fete, the half-eaten pretzel in his hands was seemingly abandoned as one hand tucked into his jeans pockets, the other hanging limply while holding the delicacy by his side.
“Thanks for sitting with me. This wasn’t so bad. It was almost fun.”
“You know, one day, you’re gonna’ tell me you had fun with me. I look forward to that day.” He smirked, your head tipping to the side at the expression.
“If you’re lucky.” He was repeating your own words back to you, and you beamed at the chance. Backing away from him slightly, you fixed him with the cheekiest glance you could as you walked through the doorway.
“I’m betting on it.”
You could hear his laugh once you were gone, into the classroom and beginning to take the steps up to a seat beside Stiles that he’d reserved for you, his bag sitting on it. He’d already gotten his equipment out, notepads and pencil laid out in a somewhat organised mess on top of the desk.
Placing the two coffees down, you moved Stiles bag to the floor, tucking it behind his chair and a soft snore made itself known from him, the boy not doing well with early mornings but he never had, not once in your years of knowing him had he handled it very well, so it was no surprise.
“Opening up your bag, you dropped your notebook down onto the surface with a loud ‘slapping’ sound, and he jerked upwards, flailing as he did, and almost knocking the coffees over. Blinking quickly and shaking sleep away, he looked around, eyes wide as he finally focused on you.
“Jesus Christ, don’t do that.” He chastised you, leaning back in his seat and holding a hand over his heart. “I was dreaming about high school, I thought you were my lacrosse Coach waking me up for falling asleep in class again.”
“Maybe I am.” You winked, slamming a hand down on the counter. “Drop and give me twenty, Stilinski! Right now!”
“Don’t do that, it’s eerily accurate.” He cringed, shuddering a little, before a wide smile replaced the horrified expression that had morphed, and you pushed a coffee over to him. “You brought me a coffee?”
“Yes, I did. It’s bribery.”
“Oh? What am I being bribed for?” He was curious, rooting through the bag of condiments for it and taking the plastic lid from the cup, steam curling out into the air. Taking an ungodly and certainly unhealthy amount of sweetener and sugar packets to load into his coffee.
“Your free time this afternoon. I’m thinking about getting some of my study done, I can get all the work for the next couple of sessions sorted now, but how do you feel about being asked some later?” He tipped them in, a drop of coffee flying up over the edge and landing on the desk as he stirred his drink with vigour, that same hyper excitement that he always had.
“Can’t I just fill them out now?”
“It’d be better if I could get your responses with Noah.” He sighed, rolling his eyes and making a scene of it, but there was a smile that told you he already agreed.
“You should have brought me two coffees, but fine.”
You let out a victorious ‘aha!’, and shook the little brown paper bag that was still sitting on your half of the desk at him. “I also brought you half of a muffin!”
“Only half of a muffin?”
“Well, it was none, but since I didn’t eat it yet and I’d feel bad eating it in front of you, I decided to share it.” You tore it in half, pushing half across the scratched and vandalised wooden surface to him. Crumbs were left along the surface, and Stiles pressed the pad of his finger along them to gather them all up.
“Oh, right. Well, in that case, what I meant was; wow, a full half of a muffin!” He cheered, much more enthusiasm, and you nodded.
“Much better.” At the front of the classroom, your tutor entered, door slamming behind him as he kicked the wedge out from underneath, and his case was placed down on the desk. The room began a hushed quiet, save for the loud slurping of Stiles with his coffee beside you.
“You know,” Your best friend didn’t understand the concept of a whisper, everything he did was more like a dramatic stage whisper on a Broadway show, and a few dirty looks were sent his way. The professor was used to this, a year of experience and advice from previous tutors guiding him to ignore Stiles’ fidgeting and chatter. “You’re going to have to convince Noah to do this.”
Slumping down in your seat a little more, you turned your head to him, nibbling on your half of the muffin. “I already did.”
“What?” This time he was hushed, the man standing at the front near his desk, trying his best to give extra advice to everyone and answer any common questions that he’d been emailed. You’d have to catch the after-class notes in your emails. “When d’you do that?”
“This morning before class. I saw him while getting coffee for you and we walked over.”
Stiles huffed, his brows being pulled together slightly. “Okay. Damn, he was my last free shot at getting the afternoon off.” You grinned, pinching at your friend’s cheek, and he smacked your hand away. “Quit it, I’ve told you not to do that before.”
“In case I pinch your moles off?”
“That's where my power is. My funny is in my moles.” He hissed, only making you laugh more, and you covered your mouth with your hand over his silly superstitions.
“Whatever, freak.”
“Hoe.” He snarked back, and you grinned, punching at his shoulder as best you could from this angle, and he reached up a hand to rub at it. “So, if we’re doing this, I at least want to do it at my place. I’m going out this evening, I gotta’ be ready. Derek’s sisters are coming up to visit.”
“It won’t take long, don’t worry.” He hummed, pulling out his phone and keeping it ducked from view. He was texting his brother, letting him know to be ready, and at what time your class would be ending, giving him a little time to prepare. Opening your book up and flicking to the page you had marked, it was a journal written about the study of the ways that twins raised in different households could grow up similarly, and you were hoping to adopt some of the content for your study.
“So, what’ve you got done so far?”
Stile sighed, flicking open his notebook, and you were shocked by the fact that he was already at the end of it. There were pieces of paper stuck in, a list of book references on one of the tabs down the side of a page, and only a few blank pages left at the back.
“Oh, wow, okay.” You stared at your notebook, barely reaching a quarter of the way through with the notes you’d been making, and it looked like Stiles was ready to start making progress towards a conclusion for his hypothesis. “So, you’ve got a whole lot done, then.”
“Yeah, well, I want to spend as little time in a prison as I possibly can.” He rubbed a hand over his forehead, the pages crammed full of information as he flicked through to find a blank one. “Plus, I didn’t want to go and interview inmates on my own, so I wait until Derek has free time to go with me, and I get as much done in those sessions as I can.”
“You’re gonna’ be done weeks before I am.” You pouted, your pen twirling at the top corner of a page, drawing a collation of pretty flowers to form a border, and he chuckled.
“I have easier test subjects than you do. They’re already guilty and behind bars, they’re more than happy to open up. You’ve gotta’ deal with Noah.”
“That’s true.” You grinned, thinking back on the conversation you’d had with the other twin that morning. When he was alone, it wasn’t so bad, he talked more and he wasn’t so worried about judgements, but as soon as there was someone else who might hear, he completely closed down.
“Hey, seriously, we have ages left. You’re gonna’ be just fine.”
“I’m just freaking out a little bit, because this is the last hurdle, y’know?” He nodded, and you could see whatever it was he was thinking practically swirling in his eyes, because Stiles’ emotions were open to read like a book.
“It’s terrifying. It’s, like, what the hell are we supposed to do when we finish?”
“I don’t know.” Your head dropped to your hands, fingers soothingly rubbing at your temples. A large hand landed on your back, rubbing in comforting circles. “What I do know, though, is that if I don’t get on with coming up with some more content, I’m never gonna’ finish this study in time.”
“Well, put your headphones on and come up with some questions.”
You did as told, plugging your earbuds in and choosing some classical music that would make it easier to concentrate. Opening one of your survey works back up to the page you’d left off at, your eyes began to flicker over the pages, picking out the useful information. Once you had a list built, you had a foundation to work from, questions to create and organise into groups, different sessions being able to come together.
Beside you, Stiles’ hand never seemed to stop rising, a constant dialogue with your tutor as he checked his work and ironed out any kinks in his study. He was also full of chatter and laughter, getting along with everyone around him and asking about their works, making you turn your music up several times just to be able to concentrate. But, by the end of the session, when Stiles was tugging your earbud out and telling you your class was over, you had a solid three pages worth of questions that had been split up into sessions, and ready to be worked through.
“Pack up and get ready to go. I have plans to get ready for.”
Stiles already had his bag in his arms, notebook tucked inside and pens and pencils put away, two empty coffee cups and a muffin wrapper sitting out, which he quickly gathered up, once his bag was on his shoulder. He was gone, walking past you and down to the waste bin at the front of the hall to dispose of them, his fingers tapping idly on his thigh once he was done.
You gathered your belongings, packing them away and curling the wire of your headphones back up neatly, making sure everything had its correct place in your bag, before following him down and out of the steps.
The halls were filled once again, the two of you navigating through crowds to the outside of the building, and you followed him in his diversion across the pathway, all the way to his car. Some students had already left, spaces beginning to empty out as a bottleneck effect took place at the only entrance and exit to this carpark.
“Where’s your car?” The dirty blue jeep was one of the only ones left in the parking lot, Stiles looking around for your vehicle, and you sighed.
“Don’t get me started on that hunk of junk.” You growled, stomping a foot on the floor as Stiles laughed. Opening the driver’s side door, he hopped up inside of it, legs dangling from the chair. “I’m trying not to use it as much. It splutters when it starts up and I have to try it a whole bunch of times, so the less I use it, the closer to graduation we can get before it eventually taps out.”
“You ever think about just getting it fixed?”
“Oh, big words from the man whose engine is held together with duct tape.” Your hand rubbed over the hood of the car, a slightly dusty layer that made you cringe, and you wiped your hand off on your jacket to stop it.
“Touché.” Stiles only smirked. “C’mon, I’ll give you a ride to my place. I’ll be waiting for hours if you walk.”
He slammed his car door once his legs were inside, leaning over the centre console to pop open the passenger side door as you rounded the car, and he was sparking up the car before you were even fully inside. Slamming it shut, he was reversing from his spot as you clipped in your safety belt, swinging his car around, and you gripped onto the edge of the door. “Easy there, fast and furious.”
“Oh, relax. Nobody is around.”
“Except for me, and I’d like to live until graduation.” His eyes rolled, hitting the brakes and flicking on the indicators as he was leaving the parking lot, moving out onto the main roads. There weren’t so many other cars, the mid-afternoon meaning the other students were mostly in class, in bed, or eating their lunch. College was a weird time, and while you’d loved it, you couldn't wait to regain some kind of normality. “Can we swing by my place? I need to swap out my books. I don’t want to carry all these around.”
“Okay, but be quick! I have to be ready by six and out the door by six-thirty. Derek will kill me if I’m late for this.” His fingers were tapping on the steering wheel as he changed direction to head to your place instead of his own. The space between you both was filled with the radio, the simple tunes of classic 70s anthems, the songs Stiles had grown up with, his dad’s favourite records and he played them constantly. He knew all the words, mouthing along and banging his head, pausing occasionally to check the mirrors and the roads between dancing in his seat.
Rolling the window down as he slowed in his approach to the building, afresh air swept into the carbon of the car, the slightly musty smell of the older car was something you’d miss when it was gone. The shade of the concrete cover overhead was chillier than the sunny roads, and he swung himself haphazardly into a parking space.
“I’ll turn the car around and wait here, cool?”
“I won’t take long, promise!” Hopping from the car and closing the door, you leant on the open door frame, and Stiles slouched in his seat, as he usually did. “Lydia and Ally should both be out, so there’s nobody for me to even talk to.”
“Good, because you’re chatty.” He teased, and you flipped him off, a quick walk as you headed away from him to the stairs. Once you were there, you were taking a quick jog up the sets of stairs, headed for your floor, and balancing your books in your arms carefully. Rooting through your bag to find your keys, they were at the bottom, jingling tantalisingly for you to find.
Leaving your books on the countertop of the kitchen, you shifted through them, taking the notebook you needed and leaving the rest, piling them back up and taking them to your bedroom Abandoned on the desk, you rushed to change, throwing on a bigger and warmer jumper to get through the rest of the day, phone in your pocket and a bag on your arm. Passing back through the kitchen, you were ready to grab the notebook and bag you’d left there, keys hanging in the back of the door, and you eyed the freezer.
You’d made a bet, a point to prove, and you were certain that buried somewhere deep in the bottom, you had a frozen lasagne from the last time you’d made it for Allison and Lydia. You had a few spare moments, and so you moved over to the freezer, opening the door and crouching to scan over all the shelves.
Running your fingers over frozen plastic, you searched for the right one. Tinfoil crinkling in the back, behind a bag of dinosaur chicken nuggets and a tray of alcoholic ice cubes, was a tray of lasagne. Pulling it out, the cold chilled your arm, even through the layers of your hoodie, and you used your foot to close the freezer while wrapping the tray in the nearest tea towel for an extra layer.
Placing your notebook over it and holding it in both arms for security, you clicked the latch onto the door, keys in your pocket and bag on your shoulder to let it swing closed behind you.
Stiles saw you coming, his head snapping over to the metal door between the stairwell and the parking lot when it fell open, backing through it and his brows raised. Opening up the passenger side door, he took the lasagne from you when you handed it over, climbing back into the vehicle.
“This is cold. What is it?”
“Lasagne.” You settled it onto your lap once your safety belt was on, folding the towel underneath to keep your lap from getting chilled and painful, and he nodded. The engine was still running, and taking off the brakes, he was pulling out of the space again.
“So, not that I don’t love a home-cooked meal, but I’m going out for dinner. Why the traybake?”
“I have a point to prove to Noah.” You were looking out of the window, but you could feel his gaze on you, making you a little uncomfortable, and you turned to face him. His eyes were flicking between you and the road, brows furrowed, a stare like he was trying to figure you out, before he let it go. “He told me I looked like I couldn't cook, and it’s a battle I’m going to win.”
“Well, alright then. Save me leftovers?”
“We’ll see.” You winked, and he grinned, eyes flicking to the tray in your lap, before back to the road.
It was only a short journey, the distance between your place and Stiles’ building was short for a walk and even shorter in a car, on the edges of campus and conveniently placed, and it had been one of the building blocks of your friendship with him An easily accessible study partner, somewhere to hang out with, someone to walk home with you after a night out, someone to share a cab with, or simply knowing there was a friend so close to you.
“It’s going to be weird not living around the corner from you in just a few months.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He sighed, pulling into his one building sparking area and it didn’t have the luxury of being covered or underground, it was exposed each flat having allocated parking spaces, and Noah’s bike was parked underneath the shelter, you could see it from here, with a clamp around the wheel and covered from the impending and risky weather of the early months. “I have a feeling that you’ll end up living next door to me someday.”
“You do?”
He parked the car, arm behind your head as he reversed into it, ready to make a quick getaway on the next morning, or this evening, when he would invariably be late. In true Stiles Stilinski style. “Yeah. Especially after I rock whatever gown you want me to wear for being your maid of honour, someday.”
“Lydia is going to fight you for that role.”
“I will fistfight her for it.” He challenged, and you grinned, clambering down from the car as Stiles had parked a little too close to someone else on your side. With your bag on your shoulder and lasagne in one hand, you tried to squeeze around the door without scratching someone else’s paintwork.
Stiles’ arm was slung over your shoulder as you set off toward the building, the elevator being fully functional, and it was a refreshing change not need to take the stairs up to your place, or risk your life in a rickety elevator.
Throwing his keys down on the kitchen counter, they slid all the way across and to the other side, hitting the floor, and he grimaced when you turned to stare at him. “I’ll pick those up later.”
“Uh-huh.” The sounds of video games and music were coming from behind Noah’s door, though it wasn’t fully closed, only pushed halfway, and you hoped that was a sign that he was still in a good mood. Leaving your bag on the edge of the couch that was facing away from you, your hands rubbed together, glancing around at the environment you were still getting used to. “You should put this lasagne in now, so that it’s ready for after the study. Medium heat, leave the full-on tight.”
“Where are you going?”
“To say ‘hey’ to your brother.” Stiles’ face scrunched up, a mumble of ‘good luck’ as he picked up the tray, lifting it over his head to look in at it from underneath. Wandering toward the sounds coming from the hall, you knocked on the edge of the door, pushing it open a second later when you heard the game pause, and the music following it. Leaning on the doorframe, Noah turned to face you, brows raising slightly, and he shifted in his chair. “Hey.”
“Hi. It’s, uh, time for the study stuff, then?”
“Yeah. You okay?” He shrugged, turning back to his game and closing it off, leaning forwards from where he was sat on his bed enough to turn the console off.
“I didn’t realise we’d be doing it here. It feels more personal, somehow.” He had a large hoodie on, comfortable in his own clothes as he wore a baggy and warm outfit, the same way you often had when everything started to feel overwhelming.
“Well, this study is going to get pretty personal.”
“I know that. It’s just that right now, it feels a bit like I’m naked, y’know?” You chuckled, a momentary smile on his face flashing past, and you were glad to see it. “I just feel exposed.”
“This study is gonna’ do that, but I promise that I’ll try and make it as easy as I can. I’ll break it up, I’ll make it comfortable for you, and we’ll stop whenever you’re getting overwhelmed.”
“That’d be great, actually.” His hands rubbed together, sleeves hanging slightly down over his palms, and he looked a whole lot less terrifying right now than he did with the armour of a bike and a leather jacket. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Good, because I need you in high spirits. I brought a lasagne and I have a point to prove.”
You backed out of the room as he advanced toward you, the door closing and leaving you both standing in the hall, and he smirked down at you a little, a disbelieving expression. “You really brought that?”
“You bet I did. It’ll be ready by the time we finish.”
“Then I guess we’d better get started, huh?” He hopped over the back of the couch, settling in beside his brother, who scowled at him as his drink spilt down his shirt from the impact. Taking a seat on the other side of them both, your legs folded underneath yourself in the armchair, finding a glass of water laid out for yourself on the table, courtesy of Stiles.
They looked so different and yet so similar in this moment. You could understand how people may have confused the two of them before their styles became so radically different. In the beginning, before Noah turned to leather and a sleeve tattoo, when they both wore hoodies and band tees and had clean pale skin. With the sleeve of tattoos covered, and the pair both wearing hoodies, one with an etching across the front and the other with a faded logo from being washed one too many times,
Laying out your books, it was more of a note you’d keep to yourself, and following from that was your recorder, coated in the front pocket of your bag so as not to get crushed. Switching it on at the side, the red light flashed on to green blinking once to let you know it was active. “Can you guys do your confirmations for me while I get set up?”
“Surely can.” Stiles sat forwards, leaning down a little with his forearms braced across his knees, as opposed to Noah, who slumped back into the cushion. “Stiles Stilinski, happy to be recorded.”
“Noah Stilinski, aware of being recorded.” Stiles rolled his eyes at his brother’s dead tone, clearly not having as much fun as Stiles was, but you didn’t blame him.
“Okay, so, why don’t you guys tell me what it’s like to live together at college.” There was a beat of silence, and then a set of matching laughs from both of them, the two starting at one another. There was a look between them, one you didn’t quite understand, and it seemed like some kind of twin-telepathy communication.
“It’s, like, exactly the same as when we were in high school.”
“Uh, what?” Stiles interjected, and Noah turned to look at him. “It’s nothing like high school!”
“Yes, it is!” Noah insisted, and you smirked, picking up your water and taking a sip as the two stared in shock at one another. “We lived together in high school, we played video games, I did all the cooking and you did all the cleaning while dad was at work. The only thing that is different is that we can’t cheat from one another’s homework anymore.”
“We don’t drive to school together anymore, we’re on opposite sides of campus!”
“That so doesn’t count.” Noah scoffed, and Stiles twisted on the couch, his hand gestures much more emphasised than that of his brother’s and you watched the debate go down. “You can’t name any more than that.”
“I take that as a challenge.” Stiles’ head rolled side to side. “Our schedules don’t match up anymore, and we haven’t had our usual movie nights in almost six months now. I can’t bring Derek over because your room is right across from mine-”
“My room was across the hall from you at home. You just didn’t date in high school or have anyone to bring home.”
“Low-blow. Unlike some people, I didn’t want to traumatise my brother in high school by bringing someone home, for that.” Stiles reached out mid-sentence, swatting at his brother’s shoulder, before continuing; “Uh, let's see. Oh! We don’t talk anymore, you didn’t ride your motorbike so much at home, you used to ride in the jeep with me. It’s like a totally different world now.”
“I didn’t know you felt like that.” There was a palpable kind of feeling in the air, something between them that was sizzling with electricity, before Stiles sighed.
“It’s no big deal. The difference is just that we’re both so busy now.”
“That was really good, actually. Thanks.” The two seemed to have forgotten you were there, both flinching and turning to face you again, matching sets of honey-coloured eyes in varying shades were fixing on you again. “Speaking of what you said, though, does it ever make it hard for you guys when your class times are so different?”
“Hard to do what?” Stiles squinted at you, face set in a frown that his twin normally wore.
“Hard to hang out, talk, have that whole brotherly bond going on.” Your clarification did little for Stiles, his brows still pulled tight and frown never moving, but Noah’s face smoothed out.
“Oh.. well, I g-”
“Totally.” Noah pressed, and once again, Stiles’ head whipped around to look at his brother. “Don’t look at me like that. You basically said it, anyway. We don’t talk so much anymore. We barely know each other. You don’t even tell me about your podcast, anymore.”
“You never listened!”
“You used to tell me your problems, not broadcast them to the world with jokes and humour! I missed two episodes, and you just stopped keeping me updated on it.” The moodier twin crossed his arms over his chest, and you swallowed thickly at the environment you had unwittingly created. “I don’t know. Just feels like we used to talk a lot more.”
They both went silent, and Noah shot you a pleading look, but there was something darker behind it. It almost felt venomous, angry or defensive, as though to say ‘I told you so’ about it being more personal now that they were home. Stiles was occupying himself with pulling a loose thread on their couch cushion out and making it that much worse, distracting himself from it all. “Well, how about something a little bit lighter. Just some questions about hobbies. Stiles, what inspired you to first start a podcast?”
“Well, as you know, I never stop talking.” He smirked, Noah laughing beside him, and just like that, the awkward air between them both was completely evaporated. “I had a lot to say, I had a lot to get off of my mind. At first, it was just to get my thoughts out there. It was kind of like a recorded journey for myself, and to share with my friends from back home. But, then other people started listening. I thought it was going to be the end of my college social life, a social life that I was developing for the first time ever, and they liked it. I was just talking into a mic and getting things off of my chest, making no sense while telling stories and bitching about my homework and suddenly I had friends. It got a whole lot of followers and I made new friends,”
He paused, offering you a wink for the comment, and you beamed.
“-and I was going to parties, I met my boyfriend at a pep rally, and everything just kinda.. blossomed. The more I got out of it, the more inspired I was to keep going. I ended up making multiple videos a week, all differently themed. Sometimes movie reviews, sometimes songs, sometimes just talking. That’s how ���Mischief Mic’ was born.”
“Alright. That was awesome.” Stiles bowed as best he could from sitting on the couch, and reached over to take a sip of his drink. “Okay, Noah, have you got any hobbies that you didn’t have in high school that you found when you came to college.”
“Not really.”
“Not even one?” You pushed, and the arms folded over his chest tightened, his gaze going to the floor, socked toes pushing into the twist cable rug. He took his glass, swigging all of it, the water draining from the glass in nervousness, and you could hear the crickets inside your mind chirping to fill the silence that had formed.
“No. Not really. I’m going to get more water, feel free to continue.”
“Uh, okay.” You pressed your pen down into your paper, drawing a line through the question on your paper as you realised you’d have no answer to that question when you listened back on the tape at a later time. “Stiles, back to you, then.”
Your next question came, and went, and Stiles was more than happy to answer them. Occasionally, Noah would answer a question, you’d be able to pin him down long enough to get a straight answer out of him, but there seemed to always be something that he needed to mess with, or fix. Almost half of your questions for him had a line drawn through, and you would have to ask them another time, and get a whole extra session in without Stiles, dragging the study out.
It was going to take you twice as long to get through it all if every time you had to ask them separately, and had to spend your time trying to force him to sit and answer. You were missing half of the information that you needed to be able to compare to Stiles’ answers, you couldn’t answer without them.
The clock ticked by, leaving you with all of your questions for Stiles answered. On a blank page, while Noah had once again been tinkering with something in the kitchen, you’d rewritten up all over the crossed out questions that would still need answers. You had doodled on the corner again, waiting for him to come and sit back down, a collection of hearts and flowers, the occasional bee or ladybug, even a couple of misshaped stars, forming a banner across the top of the page.
When he finally came to sit back down, he huffed, eyes moving to the clock as though he was waiting for this to end just as much as Stiles was, and you gave up.
“Okay, how about we just finish this up?” You had reached the end of your tether, not even bothering with the rest of the questions that were written down for him. “We got almost two hours in, that’s perfect.”
Noah sighed, something like an apology in his look as your eyes met his and he shrugged lightly. Stiles only nodded, eyes flicking up to the clock on the wall, and he was grinning when he came back. Tearing a page out of your notebook for each of them, you passed it over, blank paper sitting before them, and you searched for a pen or pencil in the bottom of your bag for each of them. Placing your pen down before Stiles and a pencil in front of Noah, they both leaned forwards, picking them up. Switching off your recorder and packing it away, you were left with the two staring at you expectantly.
“Okay, Stiles, come fill yours out in the kitchen. You can’t discuss these ones.”
“Oh, some mystery. I like that.” He picked up his paper and pencil, heading over to the kitchen counter, folding the sheet in half as he did, and you nodded. Standing from your place behind the coffee table, your bag slumped a little more from where it had been propped against your leg.
“Okay, I want you both to try self-diagnosing yourself.” Stiles gasped, a little excitement lacing it, and his pencil was already moving over the paper. Noah, however, looked a little lost, looking to you for guidance. “Don’t worry, you don’t need to use professional terms, just, describe what you think, I’ll be able to figure it out, and if I can’t, I’ll ask you about it at some point.”
He nodded, pausing, not quite as eager to get into the activity as Stiles was, before the pencil finally met the paper, and the slow scratching of graphite over paper filled the silence.
Moving away to the kitchen, you searched for plates, and a dish, laying them out on the counter before moving to the oven. A wave of hot air into your face once you pulled the door open, and when it cleared, you search for the kitchen towel you’d brought with you. Wrapping it carefully around the edges of the tray inside, you pulled it out, resting it atop the oven and closing the door back up.
Flicking off the handles, the light inside went dead, and Stiles loomed up behind you. “Smells good!” He presented a piece of paper to you, your eyes flicking over what he’d written once you’d taken it from him, and everything that he’d written about himself seemed completely accurate. It wasn’t a surprising self-evaluation, Stiles had spent almost four years studying this, just like you had, and so it was bound to be accurate and professional. Even if his handwriting looked a little bit like chicken-scratch.
Noah was still working on his, and Stiles was picking at the edges of the tinfoil, trying not to touch the glass of the casserole dish and burn himself, and as soon as he had some foil pinched between his fingers, he was pulling it back. “Wait, Stiles, watch out for the-”
“Fucking steam! Oh, my God, that’s so fucking hot!”
His hand snapped back, half unpeeled as all the steam from inside clouded in the air, and his hand was clutched to his chest. He was glaring at the pot, before moving away and running his hands underneath the cold tap at the sink, his thumb rubbing over wet skin to soothe it.
A second later, Noah was appearing, placing his paper face down on top of Stiles, which now lay on the kitchen counter. “Well, now that I’ve been scalded by pasta, I’m going to go shower and get ready.”
“M’kay.” He backed away, and Noah leaned on the counter beside you.
“Looks good, but does it taste any good, is the question.” The twin you were left with was teasing you, your eyes finding him, and you raised a brow.
“Yeah, yeah. Just get me something to serve it up with, alright?”
He smirked, pulling open the drawer behind him and searching for a serving spoon. Slicing it into pieces, you dished it up for him, a large slab on a plate, still steaming with cheese that had only just stopped bubbling. He grabbed a fork, and one for you too, waiting patiently as you served yourself, and put whatever was left into a dish for Stiles, covering it back up and leaving it to cool.
“Okay, prepare for the best lasagne of your life.”
Picking up the papers and your plate, the two of you moved back to the couch, sitting opposite one another, and you waited with excitement. Taking a piece off of his plate with the edge of his fork, he raised it, blowing cold air over it for a few moments, before taking the bite. There was a tense few moments, while he chewed, face unreadable, before he was swallowing the mouthful.
“Well?”
You couldn’t take the anticipation any longer, a smile on his face at the desperation you showed for his answer, and he gave in. “Alright, alright. This may actually be the best lasagne I have ever had.”
“Yes!” Your hands went up in the air, cheering excitedly and he laughed at your reaction, holding his hand up when you forced him to, palms slamming together in a high-five. He was tucking in again, and you reached for your plate, excited for the meal you had made, Taking a large piece on the tip of your fork, you tucked in.
The sound of Stiles’ shower was running in the background, and he was singing loudly, a song that you were certain was a TV show intro but you’d never seen the show, and there was a chance it was something from Disney Channel. Picking up the pieces of paper again, you turned Noah’s around to face you.
You’d had an expectation, you knew what you thought he was going to write down, and yet you were somehow surprised and entirely not surprised at the same time. It was what you expected but with a twist. He had confidence in what he’d written about himself he was sure of it, and while there were definitely elements that you’d disagree with, there was a lot of truth to it, and you frowned, reading it again.
Noah was watching you do so, the scrape of forks over plates as the lull in chatter came back, and you place the two pieces of paper into the front of your notebook, making sure that it was all sealed tightly away. “Is it alright?”
“It’s just not what I expected from you. But, it’s perfect.”
“That feels like a backhanded compliment.” He smiled softly, but he looked nervous, and you shook your head.
“Not at all, it just means that you have a better grasp on this whole thing than I thought you did.” It was the truth, and while you didn’t want to reveal so much to him about it all without compromising your work, but it made sense. “It just feels like with the way today went, like you weren’t really so interested in it, so I didn’t expect such an accurate self-diagnosis from you.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” He sighed, pushing what was left of his food around the plate, and you copied him, appetite dwindling. “It’s just that when you’re here, in my apartment, and you’re asking questions about what changed and making me confront everything, it feels like real therapy. You said it was going to be casual, and this didn’t feel casual.”
“I get it. I really do, and it’s okay. I can just email you the questions you didn’t answer, and you can get around to them whenever you feel up to it, alright?” He nodded, shaking off the evening’s stress. He continued to eat, polishing off the meal that was laid out before him and settling his hands over his stomach once he was finished. There was a satisfied smile on his face, and your empty plate was soon stacking on top of his own. Leaning forwards a little, you caught Noah’s eye, and one of his brows arched up. “I can try to make it more informal, in the future.”
“That would be great, actually.”
You smiled, the consolidation made between the two of you, and your ears picked up on another sound. “Hold on, is Stiles blow-drying his hair?”
“Oh, yeah.” He laughed, head turning to the closed bathroom door where his brother resided. “He thinks it makes his hair fluffy.”
“He gels his hair, though! Why does it matter if it’s fluffy?”
“He’s insane. Don’t you know this, yet?” Noah scoffed, and your giggles carried you back into the rest of the chair as you settled back into it. The evening was still waiting to come in fully. Comfortable quiet fell between you both again, and Noah moved away to take the plates to the kitchen. He left them in the sink, water running to wash them up, before storing Stiles’ lasagne in the fridge.
The aforementioned boy moved from the bathroom to his bedroom, skidding on the floors a little and clutching the towel to his waist as he hurried, making himself late with the extra-long shower and the blowdrying of his hair. Noah was washing up the plates, leaving them to dry on the draining rack, and you took that as your cue. The night was over, that much was clear, and you’d be willing to bet that he was more than eager to get back to his alone time.
Taking your bag and double-checking that you had everything, you swung it up onto your shoulder, and made your way toward the door. Hearing the shuffling of your feet, Noah turned, drying his hands on the towel beside him. “Are you going?”
“Feels like I should. Stiles will be going soon, anyway. I’m sure you have things to do, too.”
“I don’t have anything to do, if I’m being honest.” He cringed at his own words, pulling down the rolled-up sleeves of his hoodie and making his way over to you. Undoing the catch on the door, he pulled it open, leaning against it and you linseed in the doorway.
“Since you’re not doing anything, do you wanna’ get a coffee with me?”
His eyes narrowed, just for a second, and his fingers tapped anxiously on the wood of the door. “As a study subject, or..?”
“As friends.” You confirmed, his lips a thin line for only a second, before pulling up at the sides in a smile.
“Then, yeah. I’d like that.” He looked down, sweatpants and mismatching socks on his lower half, and there was a tint on his cheeks when he looked up. “Just give me two seconds to go change, alright?”
He darted away before you had a chance to reply leaving you there with the words frozen in your throat. Stiles was clattering around behind his own door, and Noah’s door slammed shut, leaving you alone in the doorway. Your hands tapped against your thighs as you waited, bag swinging on your shoulder, and only a second later, one of the doors was opening.
To your surprise, it was Stiles, flapping the flannel on his body to shake out any creases, and he stood before you. Doing a little twirl from where he stood, he began to button it up down his front, looking somewhat smart. It was a nice black and white one, no rips or tears or stains like most of his other ones, and the black stood out prominently against the white, thick patterns with flecks of grey within it.
“How do I look, then?”
“You look great, Sti. I’ve never seen you wear anything so plain before. There’s no colour.”
“Yeah, well, this is a new flannel. It’s my best one, and the skinny jeans are Noah’s. All my skinny jeans are blue or red, it was this or khakis.” He was nervous, resisting the urge to mess with his freshly-styled hair. “The place we’re going to is kinda fancy, but I don’t feel fancy enough for it. I’m gonna’ do something stupid like drop my glass and smash it or make a joke about something dumb.”
“Haven’t you met his family before?” You teased, and he huffed, searching for his keys, and finding them under the counter where he’d never bothered to pick them up from.
“No, not really. I’ve met his mom because she comes to visit a lot, and of course, his little sister, because she’s a sophomore here. But, he has a lot of family. His extended family are coming to graduation, but this is his older sister and his dad, and his uncle, and I’ve never met them before.” His keys were tucked into his back pocket, and his phone followed, your gaze moving over him.
“You got a blazer, Stiles?”
“Uh, yeah. One that my dad made me promise to bring, I wore it to my senior prom.” He shrugged, hands smoothing over his front. “You think I should wear it?”
“Go get it, show me.” He nodded, moving back to his bedroom, and you were waiting for something with orange and blue stripes to come back out, which wouldn’t surprise you. In fact, you’d always imagined Stiles going to his senior prom in a Beetlejuice suit. Noah emerged from the other side of the hall, hangers scraping over their post in a wardrobe as Stiles searched for them. “Did Stiles go to prom in a Beetlejuice suit?”
Noah paused, rolling the edges of his hoodie up, charcoal grey skinny jeans that were only a  few shades lighter than the ones Stiles had stolen from him on his legs, and a pair of his usual scuffled boots. “What?”
He was laughing, loudly, shaking his head to hide his grin. “It’s a legitimate question! I have this mental image of it!”
“Unfortunately, he did not. My dad made us both go in three-piece formal suits. He saved up to have them custom made. Said that every man should have a smart suit.” He shrugged, crouching to start tying the laces on his shoes and Stiles reappeared. Over his shoulders was a dark black suit, crisp collar and pressed edges, and it was a beautiful piece of tailoring.
“You look good, Sti. Very smart, but casual. Like a polished version of your usual self.”
“Yeah? Good enough to meet Derek’s family?” His voice shook, and you wished you could ease him more.
“Totally. You look great.” He thanked you both, and Noah grabbed his wallet from the side, and his house keys, letting them both hang in the front pocket of an oversized hoodie.
“You ready to go?” He offered, hand on the top of the door, and Stiles’ head snapped up again from where he’d been checking his phone, presumably looking for texts from Derek.
“Where are you two going?”
“We’re getting coffee!” You beamed, and Noah nodded, stepping a little further out of the door with you.
“Oh, well, have fun. I’ll text you updates about how it goes. I might need bathroom-break pep-talk during the night.” You waved to him as you went, wishing him ‘good luck’, before the two of you were wandering down the halls. Thumbing the button for the elevator, the doors popped open, and you were stepping inside along with Noah.
“So, you wanna’ show off those new small talk skills to me, then?”
“Okay, okay. Let me think of something.” He hummed under his breath, glancing up to the top of the elevator and looking around at the posters on the walls for inspiration, and he seemed to find one. Turning his attention quickly back to you, you prepared for what he’d found. “Have you listened to any of the student bands? There’s been a lot of them growing, lately.”
“I’ve noticed that, actually.” There were several posters up around the inside of the elevator, different coloured flyers, some on shiny paper and some on smooth matte, varying fonts and designs, it was dizzying. “I haven’t, I’ve never been to see a student band. I should do that before I graduate, though. Have you?”
“I’ve been to a couple.” The door clicked open, the two of you stepping through it. Out into the setting chill of the evening that was threatening to break its way in. He chose the direction you’d be going in, heading toward the coffee shop on the side of campus that had been the first the two of you had met at when beginning the study. “Some of them are good, some of them are kinda’ average. They usually play at the bars on the edges of campus or in the places in the city, the less well-known, kinda’ alternative places. They can be fun.”
“You going out optionally to a night on the town? I’m shocked.”
“Uh, no!” He protested, grinning at you. “I’ve never been for a ‘night on the town’, and I never will. However, going to one of the few small bars around here that aren’t practically a nightclub, to listen to covers of good songs and get a pint without worrying about anyone bothering me or mistaking me for my brother, that’s nice.”
“Okay, well, maybe I’ll go to one sometime.”
“You should, I think you’d have fun.” The two of you weaved between other students, the small talk keeping up between you both as he did his best, and while it was sometimes a little stuttered and stalled, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you had expected. It wasn’t until the two of you had entered the coffee shop that he fell into tight silence again. The crowds, the rush of chatter from other groups gathered around the tables, and the friendly greetings of baristas whose chit-chat diverted to him due to his allegiance with you.
“What are you drinking? My treat.”
“Uh, just a black coffee.” He choked out, eyes flicking over all the boards, so many options up there, and you chuckled.
“Really, just a black coffee?”
“I’ve never really experimented. I just ordered whatever was the quickest and the easiest.” He confessed, already glancing back over his shoulder at the queue that was forming behind you both. “What would you recommend?”
“Hm, well, do you have a sweet tooth?” He only nodded, scratching around his cuticles on one hand and staring down at the flesh growing red, and you took his hand. Lowering it back down to his side, the hand formed a fist, flexed nervously, and you let it go, squeezing comfortingly first. Turning to the barista, she was still waiting patiently, and your eyes moved over the boards overhead. “Two mint and dark chocolate hot cocoas.”
“That sounds really good, actually.” He leaned down, mumbling the words into your ear to make sure you heard the quiet tone over the talk in the small coffee house.
“And, two croissants, too.” She rang it up on the machine, and you leaned in a little closer to her. “Do you have any of the warm and fresh ones straight from the oven?”
“We made a fresh batch about twenty minutes ago, they’re cooling. I’ll get them from the back for you.” She finished it with a wink, passing the card machine over to you once you’d produced your card from your wallet. Swiping it across the reader, you moved to the end of the line, and she moved away to begin preparing your order as someone else took over at the counter.
She was working, creating two beautifully constructed hot chocolates for you both. Placing them down on the counter before you, once they were garnished with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, she disappeared into the back room. Taking one of the ceramic plates with her, you were happy to see her bypass the glass cabinet with the older ones in, and only a moment later, she was coming back. Two fresh croissants on a plate, still warm and soft to the touch, and she handed those over as well.
Noah had been scouting for a place to sit, choosing which was the best one, and he carried both of the drinks while you carried the pastries, guiding you to the seat he’d chosen. It was tucked away in the back, a small loveseat sofa with a low sitting coffee table in front of it, and as soon as the paper cups were down on the surface of the table, he was dropping down into the seat.
“It feels like rush hour on the highway, but with coffee.” He mumbled, and you settled onto the couch beside him passing him his drink over, and he stared at it curiously. “What about the whipped cream. Do I eat that first? Scrape it off? Mix it in?”
“Any of the above.” You grinned, taking a wooden stirrer from the condiments tray in the middle and beginning to stir the cream into your hot chocolate. He placed it down, copying your actions, stirring slowly and trying not to spill any over the edges, but it was an impossible feat to achieve. Sticky droplets left over the edges of your cups and his, creating rings on the table that you had to mop up with tissues. “Okay, try it. This is one of my favourite orders here. It’s bitter because of the dark chocolate, but also sweet. Reminds me of you.”
“Now, that one is a backhanded compliment.” He muttered, taking a sip of the drink, and your lips rubbed together.
“Not everything is a backhanded statement, you know. I didn’t intend for it to be mean, it’s just the truth. You’re all dark and moody, but I can already tell you’re sweet on the inside.” You sipped your drink to finish your statement, and he filled the time where he didn’t know what else to say by pulling a chunk off of his croissant. Chewing on it idly, he settled back into the cushions, and you lifted your legs up to fold underneath yourself as you turned to face him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You’ve already asked me a lot of questions today.”
“You didn’t answer many, though. You kinda’ have to give me this one.” He scowled falsely, but nodded, licking a flake of pastry from his lower lip. “Not that I think you need it, because personally, I think you’re just fine, but why are you so scared about therapy? The idea of it, anything to do with it, it makes you so closed off. Even more than usual.”
His eyes moved over the room, nervously, before scanning both you and the table, and you put your drink down, holding open palms up to him.
“No recorder, no study. I’m just curious.”
“Okay.” He sighed shakily, and slumped back. “Well, after my mom died, my dad made me and Stiles have therapy when we started acting out. We had a therapist who came to the house, and she was great, don’t get me wrong, but I hated it. I didn’t want her to tell me how to grieve or mourn, and I didn’t want her to tell me how to move on. Stiles needed all the advice he could get, but I didn’t want it. I wanted to do it my own way. Now, the idea of therapy, brings back all those feelings of sadness and pressure and stress.”
“I’m sorry, Noah.” You reached out, rubbing a hand over his shoulder, and his gaze fell to the contact. “Genuine sympathy and sorrow, not just that thing girls do that you hate.”
“Stop hanging things I’ve said over me, I don’t remember half of them. I blackout in social situations.” He grinned, moving past the moment, and you withdrew your touch.
“You know, if it makes you feel any better, I understand the nervousness of being in a study.”
“Yeah?” He picked up the rest of his croissant, a large chunk of it being eaten, as he waited for you.
“Yeah. When I moved here, I was so nervous. I was beginning to take my course and I didn’t really have any friends, and there was a senior who needed freshmen for her study.” Noah grinned, settling in for the story and sipping his drink. “She was doing a study about the difference between kids who travelled far from home for college alone as opposed to those who were still close to home, and whether it impacted social clubs, grades, all that. To be fair, it was an awesome study.”
“It sounds like it.”
You smiled, swirling the cup in your hands to gather any loose powder that may have begun to separate and gather at the bottom. “Well, I got drawn into it. She was a senior, and she was nice. I had no friends yet, I was in a flat-share with Allison and Lydia and three other girls who were all too busy getting adjusted to college themselves. So, this senior, she invited me to a party, and then another one, and suddenly people started wanting to be my friend because I was the freshman who hung out with seniors. I figured it would all drop away when her study ended and she didn’t need me anymore, but by then the whole social hierarchy had done its thing, and there I was.”
You shrugged, and Noah was hiding a shit-eating grin behind his mug. “So, you were just a little freshman lab rat, then?”
You scoffed, your laughter mixing with his, and the two of you were left in subtle amusement. His laughter was cut short, though, brought a rapid halt when a set of legs bumped against your table on the other side, followed by two more behind them.
“Hey, girl!” One of the girls on the cheer team, a lacrosse player behind her and a girl who you recognised from your psychology class texting on her phone. “Saw you over here, wanted to know what your plans for the evening were. We’re going to do some karaoke and get some food, you wanna’ come?”
Your eyes moved to Noah, whose attention was fixed on the floor again, as though the splintering wood was of utmost interest. “Maybe another time. I think we’re good here for now.”
“Oh, you sure? I think it could be super fun, you should both come.” The invitation was now extended to you both, and you shook your head at her despite it.
“Seriously, you should go, if you want to,” Noah whispered, and when you turned back to him now, he’d dared to look up, chewing on a lower lip that would go raw, but he met your gaze.
“No, I’m sure. I’m having fun here.” You held his gaze for a second longer, before turning to her, and confirming your denial, and she smiled, promising to make plans with you soon, before she was walking away. Noah was fidgeting beside you, shuffling in his seat, and you could practically feel the nerves rolling off of him in waves. “I’m serious, Noah. I’m having fun, and I’m perfectly happy here with you, right now.”
He was trying not to grin, a smile that was being bitten back on the inside of his cheek. “Well, for the record, I’m having fun too.”
“What was that?” You cupped your ear, challenging him to repeat it, even though you had heard it perfectly, and by the look on his face, he knew the game you were playing.
“I said I’m having fun. I won’t deny it.”
“Two victories in one day, for this gal. I’m breaking down all your walls, Noah Stilinski.” You poked at his cheek, and he swatted your hand away, taking a bite from your croissant as punishment, and you tried to snatch it back from him.
“Two victories, one loss. You’re not getting this croissant back, now.”
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albatris · 2 years ago
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hi lets say I am speaking in the perspective of Hypno and he is currently stressing over how to kill a god that has more power than he ever will, how would you go about that? this god also has three heads and too many hands. Hypno doesn't like that
(ive got no specific oc I want an answer from!)
thank you for the ask!! :D sorry for the. length. of this reply. whoops. resident god-killer Nat Rentalcar had a lot to share and was VERY excited to do so gfhjhf
"Oh! Holy shit, yeah! I got this one! I know this one! Certified vampire-hivemind-god-killer Nat Finch at your service. I've got some hot tips for you, Hypno, okay, and trust me, these are going to make all the difference. Or, like, some of the difference. At least a little bit of the difference. Probably. I think. Stop laughing at me, Quinn, I'm the closest thing to an expert anyone's gonna get 'round here, okay?
Uh... first up is... Jesus Christ, don't do it alone if you can avoid it. Get yourself some friends. Get yourself some angry, riled-up friends. Not a team of hyper-logical specially-trained-to-kill-gods strangers you barely know, no matter how competent they might be. Friends! People you trust! People you like! People you can bounce off of! It's about the vibes, yeah? Vibes are powerful business.
That being said, I thoroughly recommend getting yourself acquainted with a Zeke Cunningham-Warwick-Lâm, though. That will make your job much easier. But, uh, you can't borrow our one because she already had to participate in killing a god once and she's very tired about it so you'll just have to go find another one. There are probably other people with that name who are just as cool.
What was I talking about?
Oh, if there's any chance at all for you to bribe or threaten or trick or goad the god into playing fair, or abiding by a specific set of rules that work in your favour... TAKE IT. Then you yourself... play dirty as fuck. No rules. No honour. Set the god up then screw 'em over. This thing is more powerful than you? You're not gonna win by playing nice. Lie through your teeth if you gotta. Manipulate them. Trap them. Gaslight, gatorade, girlboss or whatever it is. Be tricky and sneaky. Then if push comes to shove, fight like a cornered feral animal.
Is... it possible for you to somehow steal a little tiny bit of the god to eat beforehand? Just a nibble. That worked pretty good for me. Though someone else did the stealing. And I was unconscious for the eating. And, I mean, it was only helpful for me because it made me, like, some cool special weird kind of vampire who can absorb stuff through his skin and explode into a gory monster on command. But I think either way eating some god can't hurt. Eat some god for luck. Eat some god for placebo effect. Eat some god to get a taste for it. Remind your gods they're edible. Do it just 'cause it's hardcore and metal as hell. Do it. Do it.
Also, you should play some of that old roguelike Quantumfish! For practice! You know, that one only like six people have actually ever beat? My friend Yvonne swears by it. Says, um - well, if you can beat the washing machine warehouse stage in Quantumfish, that's a pretty good approximation of how hard it is to beat at least the outer layers of a god. But just to be safe, make sure you can regularly get past the drive-in cinema boss fight and make sure you're REALLY good at the cyberspace dragon mini-game.
Lastly, uh... don't burn yourself out before you even get to the fight! Some folks are always going on about training, training, training, blah, blah, blah, "Why are you launching chocolate chips at Alex through a straw while it works on the computer instead of focusing on fighting the Garble, Nat?" and "How dare you take a nap when you should be strategising, Nat?" and like... sure, I get it. And maybe it's just because we all assumed we were about to die regardless and our enthusiasm for training and strategising was, like, ocean floor low. But remember to look after yourself! Self-care, baby! Eat a nice meal! Go to the beach with your friends! Murder some rich bastards for fun! Loosen up, relax, treat yourself well. My point is, if you work too hard, you're just gonna make yourself easier to kill.
Okay, that's it, go, have fun, good luck! I believe in you!"
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batarangsoundsdumb · 4 years ago
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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.
For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell
fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one
i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft
that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you
tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again
as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)
hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s
holy shit yes.
SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe
superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'
does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom
it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.
I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?
as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)
somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.
and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!
babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence
babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to
JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT
again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song
The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian
oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag
soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"
i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage
Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?
don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)
What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk
stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.
This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it
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This is canon now @nctxrejects
lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out
idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family
bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another
I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.
yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.
Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings
smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn
Duke was adopted by Bruce?
not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?
True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live
true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?
apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome
ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.
ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut
lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash
oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man
while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.
dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie
magnum hot take
hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth
thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)
why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???
what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones
oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no
I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked
yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends
"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years
i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.
BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them
lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.
I am in love with your posts your honour thank you
omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?
The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john
Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian
yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
and what about it?
when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST
oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat
Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes
lmao i do too
I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it
he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.
you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank
babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)
ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something
that's a very good vocabulary upgrade
somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”
steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.
Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious
babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks
In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97
lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)
You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.
bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers
How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?
horrible, next question.
I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid
yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time
bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)
lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)
Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje
he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'
I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??
i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way
SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed
'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'
i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam
fair enough
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softholand · 4 years ago
Text
in a heartbeat - h.o
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pairing: harrison osterfield x reader
summary: dancing in the kitchen, a kiss, and a whole lot of feelings
warnings: angst, fluff
words: 2.5k
a/n: yay, my first harrison one shot!! if you feel like you’ve seen this before, you probably did lol i posted this yesterday but t*mblr decided to glitch, eat the two firsts paragraphs and don’t let me fix it, which was great :)) but it’s here now and it would mean the world to me if you guys read it and let me know your thoughts <333 ily all, enjoy!! xx
This was not how you expected your last month to go. Sharing a house with one of your best friends and another three, almost unknown, boys. It’s true that you also didn’t expect to find your boyfriend, now ex, in bed with another girl, and not just any other girl, it had to be your roommate. You were left with no choice, and no house, that’s how you found yourself at Harrison’s door all those days back. He welcomed you with open arms, before asking if you wanted him to punch your ex in the face, which you denied, even though he totally deserved it.
Yes, living with four boys was chaotic, but you couldn’t deny you liked being the “mom” of the house. You helped them with things that, before you, they had absolutely no idea how to do. Like operating the washing machine and how to properly clean a bathroom. It was fun and at the end of the day, you were grateful you had Harrison to accommodate you while you figured things out.
Yes, living with four boys was chaotic, but you couldn’t deny you liked being the “mom” of the house. You helped them with things that, before you, they had absolutely no idea how to do. Like operating the washing machine and how to properly clean a bathroom. It was fun and at the end of the day, you were grateful you had Harrison to accommodate you while you figured things out.
You had met Harrison through work and immediately hit it off. He was the sweetest and funniest guy ever and in just a couple of weeks, you two were practically glued to the hip. Okay, maybe you had a crush on him at the beginning but after not being very successful with subtlety letting him know, you gave up, and then you met your boyfriend and the feeling simply went away.
But now, sharing a house and spending most of your time with him, you had your doubts about said feelings. Like right now, where you two were currently doing the dishes, after a delicious dinner you and the boys had cooked. Harrison had his favorite playlist playing on the speakers, and while you washed the dishes, he dried them, sneaking some dance moves between each utensil you gave him.
Every Breath You Take by The Police suddenly came in and it was like your friend’s whole personality suddenly changed. He sang and danced to the lyrics while putting the already dry stuff away in the cabinets. His energy level was so high you couldn’t resist, joining him on his little performance.
You sang the lyrics at the top of your lungs, playfully turning your eyes to Harrison every time the song said “I’ll be watching you”, which made him laugh. At one point, he wrapped his arms around your waist, spinning you and your wet and foamy hands around. “You idiot, look at what you’ve done!” You smirked, splashing some of the soapy water at him. “No, you didn’t!” Harrison exclaimed, before also putting his hands on the sink, joining your little game.
Minutes later, both you and the kitchen were dripping wet, covered in foam, still laughing and playing around. Harrison kept splashing water around, while you tried to get away from him, without falling on your butt given the damp floors. Your laughter was loud and it didn’t stop until the song Iris by Go-Go Dolls started to play on the speakers. You immediately tensed, abruptly stopping your movements, which of course, caught Harrison’s attention.
“You okay?” He promptly asked, clearly concerned by your sudden change of behavior. “Yeah, no… it’s just, this was mine and Brad’s song.” You said, feeling stupid for even saying your ex-boyfriend’s name. “Oh, do you want me to change it?” He questioned, to which you shake your head. “No, it’s okay! I won’t let him ruin one of my favorite songs.” You sighed, propping yourself up on the kitchen counter.
In seconds, he was by your side, bravery putting one of his arms around your back, making you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry!” He mumbled, to which you scoffed. “It’s okay, Haz! It’s not your fault he’s a dick.” You said, managing to laugh, which was enough for Harrison to smile. “It just makes me sad seeing you like this.” The blonde breathed, squeezing your side. “Don’t worry, Haz! You’re already doing more than enough for me.” You smiled, facing him.
Only then you realized how close the two of you really were, mere centimeters between each of your faces. You took your time to admire, even more, his eyes. You never understood why people called it ocean eyes but after meeting Harrison, you did because there was not a word to describe the intensity his blue eyes carried.
Subconsciously, or not, he leaned in, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. It was like the world stopped and everything you could think about was Harrison. He was in every one of your thoughts, invading your mind the way his lips invaded your mouth. Your hands were on his hair, while he kept pushing your body closer and closer to his until you were almost on top of him.
“Hey, Haz! Have you seen my…? Oh, sorry!” The sudden voice made you both jump, completely startled, looking in the direction of it. Harry was standing a few feet away, with an apologetic expression. You quickly got out of the kitchen counter and tried to avoid both of the boy's eyes. “I’ll just… go!” That was the only thing you said before taking off to your room.
“Man, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know…” Harry tried to apologize but Harrison just shrugged him off, assuring him it was fine. It wasn’t though. “What happened?” The ginger-haired boy asked, taking a couple of steps closer. “I don’t know, we were just listening to music and doing the dishes, we started dancing and playing around with the water and… fuck, I don’t know. She said the song was hers and her ex-boyfriend’s and I tried to console her and we both kinda went for it.” Harrison tried his best to explain, while nervously passing his fingers through his blonde locks.
“I mean, this is good, right?” Harry asked, knowing his friend's growing feelings for you, but Haz shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, Harry! I don’t think she was ready for it. Fuck, I’m an idiot!” Haz groaned. “Hey, stop that! Just let her, give her some time, and then you can talk and solve this whole thing up.” Harry said, trying his best to calm his friend. “Yeah, you’re right! I’ll talk to her tomorrow!” The blonde sighed, going back to his kitchen chores.
A day turned into two, then three, and suddenly a week had already passed and you and Harrison hadn’t had that conversation. You spend most of your days in your room, getting out to cook, eat and help your roommates with house chores, not once directing words differently than “Good morning!” or “Goodnight!” to them.
To Harrison, you didn’t really seem to mind but he was honestly losing it. His friends could tell he was miserable for the last week, so they finally sat him down and talked, encouraging him to talk to you. Harrison was apprehensive in the beginning but after a little bit of convincing, he decided the boys were right, he had to talk to you. So when he saw you in the backyard, with a book in your hands, he knew it was his perfect chance to do that.
Carefully to not startle you, he opened the sliding glass doors and joined you on the patio. “Hey!” He breathed, getting your attention. “Oh, hi!” You said, immediately closing your book, having an idea of what was about to happen. “I’m sorry, y/n! I was an idiot and shouldn’t have kissed you without asking you first.” He blurted, making you sigh. “Haz, it’s okay! You don’t have to apologize!” You assured him. “I think I have!” The blonde whimpered. “You don’t! I told you, it’s okay! It just took me by surprise!” You said, taking his clammy hands on yours.
“Does that means….” Harrison trailed off, getting his hopes up, only for it to come crashing down at your next words. “I don’t really know what it means, Haz! I’m sorry, it’s still too soon, my feelings are a little confused right now to say at least.” The sound of his heart breaking was so loud, he was almost sure you could hear it too. “Oh, o-okay…” He smiled sadly, making your own break this time. “I’m really sorry, Haz!” You tried apologizing, but he was quick to stop you. “No, it’s fine! You don’t have to apologize, y/n!” He sniffed, and you could see a single tear fighting to come out of the corner of his eye.
You kept holding his hands, feeling completely broken for what you just did, but you were indeed extremely confused. Your feelings were everywhere at the moment and you felt like you really needed some time to think. “Listen, I’m going to stay with Elsa for a little bit.” You started, making Harrison widen his eyes. “What? Why?” He inquired, feeling guilty already. “I just… I need some time, Haz! And don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful you offered me a room and let me stay when I needed to, but I think I have to stay away to understand what’s going on here.” You said, motioning to your head.
And true to your words, you left the very next day. Harrison hugged you goodbye and wished you luck, even smiled while watching you get into the cab, but as soon as he closed the door, he collapsed in front of his friends. “I’m an idiot! I shouldn’t have kissed her! Now she’s gone and it’s my fault!” He cried while Tom rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. “She just needs some time, Haz! You guys would be alright!” The brunette assured him once again, but Harrison wasn’t having any of it. “No, it’s all my fault! I screwed up and ruined our friendship! Now she’s gone!” He cried, getting up from the sofa, slamming his bedroom door.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month without you living with the boys. Harrison was terrible the first days, he felt empty and like it was his fault you weren’t there anymore. But, as everyone says, time heals everything, now, a whole month after, he was feeling better. He realized, on the time you were gone, that he could live without you, of course, he could, that’s exactly what he’s been doing for the last month. The thing is, he didn’t want to, he wanted you by his side, even if you decided to be just friends, that was fine, he just really missed his best friend and so, he decided to go to Elsa’s place, where you were currently staying and tell you just that.
When he got that, his hands were sweating and he could feel his body shake with nerves, having to take deep breaths to calm himself down. “It’s just y/n, Harrison! It’s just y/n!” He tried to remember but that was exactly the reason why he was like that. It was you, his best friend, the most beautiful person he’s ever met, the only girl who could make him laugh, and the only one who’s seen him ugly cry. It was you and your dreamy eyes and hypnotizing laugh. The girl that could make his heart do somersaults on his chest and the one he wanted by his side for the rest of his life.
Before he could even ring the bell, the door swung open, revealing you on the other side, carrying a trash bag. “Haz?” You inquired, surprised. “Hi!” He answered, feeling his throat suddenly dry. “What are you doing here?” You asked, confused with his presence. “I was— I was hoping we could talk?” The blonde murmured, swallowing his nerves. “Oh, yeah! Come in!” You smiled, getting out of the way. “You were living? I can come back if you’re busy.” Harrison asked but you just shrugged him off. “No, I was just gonna take the trash out but that can wait!” You chuckled, disposing of the plastic bag, before offering him a seat.
“So, how are you?” You smiled, making Harrison even more nervous. “I’m good! Thanks! The boys miss you though, I miss you!” Haz admits, making you blush. “I miss you guys too, trust me, living with Elsa is not half as fun as living with all of you.” You laughed and just then Harrison realized how much he missed hearing this sound.
“I know you asked for time and if you need more, I understand, I just— I had to talk to you.” The blonde started, ready to let his feelings out. “It’s funny, you said you needed time to think and when you were away, it gave me time to think too. I didn’t know I needed it but turns out, I did.” He laughed. “I— I like you, y/n! Like… a lot! And I don’t know but the last few days made me think about how much I want you in my life. It doesn’t matter if it’s as a friend or something more, I just want my best friend back.” Harrison breathed, looking into your eyes for answers.
After clearing your throat, you answered, “I want you in my life too, Haz! You’re my best friend and I missed you like crazy.” Harrison smiled. “And I mean, Elsa’s girlfriend is moving in next week so, I kinda need a place to stay.” You told him, watching his eyes widen. “This means you are coming back?” He questioned, to which you nodded. “If you and the rest of boys are okay with that.”
You squealed, feeling Harrison’s arms around you. “Yes! Of Course, we’re okay with that!” He beamed, before realizing what he did. “I’m sorry!” He quickly apologized, trying to move away, but you stopped him. “There’s one more thing though.” You said, sealing your lips to his. You were dying to do it since the last time he kissed you and now, with him in your arms, you could finally feel his lips again.
“Turns out, I really like you too! And this time away only made me realize that. I want you in my life, Haz! But as you said before, a little bit more than friends this time.” You smiled, feeling insecure until Harrison’s stunned face made you smile. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to rush things just...” You cut him off with another kiss and this time, he smiled into it, pulling your body closer to his. “I mean it, Haz! I wanna be with you!” You reaffirmed, smiling into another kiss.
Just as Harrison pulled you into his lap and went for another kiss, you both heard the song Iris by Go-Go Dolls playing. You gasped, looking at Harrison. “Did you plan this?” You asked, completely shocked, but Harrison shook his head. “I have no idea where this is coming from.” He laughed, squeezing your sides.”Well, it seems like it’s destiny then!” You smirked, kissing him again.
You knew one of Elsa’s neighbors was loud and always listening to music but at that moment, you decided to believe in your theory, after all, the song that broke you apart now had also brought you two back together.
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✧・゚ tagging some of my mutuals ✧・゚@soft-haz @bi-writes @duskholland @sinisterspidey @uglypastels @screamholland @sunsetholland @hollandharrison @wazzupmrstark @missnxthingg @farfromparker @londonspidey @mrs-hollandstan @osterfield-holland-andcompany @peeterparkr @rosyparkers @veryholland @hollandbroz-n-haz @hotforharrison @storybookholland
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