#their general gay aura
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so i’m pretty new to batjokes/the dc fandom (as in the past seven days new) but in every fic i’ve read, the joker has felt… so familiar to me. like i’ve known him as a character for years. and it’s been so easy for me to get into his headspace and write his voice and so this entire past week i’ve been like ? what is going ON is this like a weird soulmate character thing?? is the joker my one true fictional dude?? i mean i’m cool with it he’s funky but wtf ?? but i just realized. it’s. he’s rumplestiltskin once upon a time.
#i am both relieved and disappointed#i thought i was really connecting with the joker man#but nah i was just pasting him onto rumplestiltskin’s face and making slight adjustments subconciously#bc you know who i HAVE known for years? since i was 12?#rumplestiltskin once upon a time.#their laugh#their goblin mode#the way they can be silly one second and deadly scary the next#their general gay aura#alllll magic comes with a price✨🤭#batsy!!! 😚💖#yeahhhh#joker#batjokes#rumplestiltskin#rumplestiltskin ouat#my post
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I did not sleep last night because I'm so excited to see A View From The Bridge today like I am not in the slightest bit a theatre nerd except for this one play. I've got two copies of it, I'm currently listening to my playlist that reminds me of it and I'm definitely going to reread the copy I'm bringing to get signed by the cast on the train into London despite last reading it a week and a half ago. Its just so messy and soapy and fucked up and scratches a very specific itch in my soul and I've been wanting to see it live for 10 years but I've never found a production I could get to from where I've lived so this is such a long time coming and I'm so so excited to finally see it performed.
#thank youuuu mr wilson for making it a required text for english. you were a weird ass teacher but you picked great plays/poems.#this is also the man who made macbeth a required text and i saw that a few months ago so i guess this is his year.#I'm not into gritty dramas so i can't say I've seen dominic west in anything but from his general aura i think he'll be a great eddie#and callum scott howells! so excited to see his rodolpho! he definitely pulls off shy ambiguously gay weasel with a heart of gold#anyway this is the nerd website so i feel safe to get all nerdy here. even if I'm going alone so i have nobody to nerd out with in person
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Lol I didn’t put in my two weeks today
It was a really good work day tho
Corporate came in this morning and we got a 8. last time it was a 6. So the main manager was super happy, got everyone chocolate, and let us a have a lazy day off. It was completely dead the whole time and it was chill. We kinda just talked the whole shift
#I may also kinda maybe have a kinda crush on one of my coworkers#but she says she isn’t gay :/#SHE PLAYS SOFTBALL#and idk she kinda has the vibe#but whatever#pft I’ve worked there for four months and today was like the first time I’ve actually chatted with her#cause I’m bad at talking to new people in general#throw in pretty girl with curly hair and dimples#her smile is so 💞#she also kind of just has an intimidating aura#idk#she’s always standing so like. arms crossed. or hands on hips#she walks like a sheriff#/pos#she smells nice. I don’t like sniff her or anything I’m not that creepy I can just smell her when she walks by me#the perfume or whatever#bro she’s graduating this year and she has a scholarship for college and she’s already been talking college classes so she’s gonna be a#sophomore in college right off the bat.#also learning they do talk about me when I’m not there cause she knew about the time I sprayed degreaser in another coworkers mouth#she has pretty eyes. and a rbf which she complains about but I like it#she’s the reason I decided to give Harriet dimples. and that’s like the Ultimate complement if I give it to her
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Still can't stop fucking thinking about that one post that's like 'the great thing about Cole is that he's simultaneously gay and in love with his sister.'
Revolutionised my understanding of characters tbh. Literally cannot think of a better metric for the quality male character is other than that. It's simple, it's clean, it's so easy to understand:
Is he:
a) gay?
b) in love with his sister?
If Yes, he is a good male character.
That's all you need to know. 10/10 no notes.
#general shipcest#shipcest#this is why ive been going through a mental break abt nobukatsu these last 2 days#ideally the sister is literal. but can we agree there is a certain Aura of Sister Loving that even only child characters can exude#same with 'gay' tho that is typically easier to express in objective practice
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Love Sand: A Summary
For those who cannot afford to buy Love Sand, or don't know if they feel like reading it. This is a full summary, so of course it's full of spoilers. General trigger warnings for dubious consent, non-consent (one partner drunk), and revoked consent.
Love Sand takes place 7-5 months before the events of Love Sea, long before Mahasamut and Tongrak ever meet. The two do, however, play major roles in Khom and Connor's love story.
Love Sand's official English edition can be purchased through Meb.
If you order through the app, you'll have to buy a set of tokens and purchase it that way, If you order through their website, you can directly buy the number of tokens you need for Love Sand specifically.
Love Sand: A Summary
Before getting into this: Khom has a lot of negative self-image issues revolving around being thought of as a sex worker. I conveyed that as best I could here, but I want to make it clear that there is no shame in sex work, so long as it's something the person wants to do, is protected, and does not feel forced into.
Khom is 19, and just had his heart broken by his first love.
Type grew up with Khom, and Khom saw all the bad that came on the heels of Type being sexually assaulted at the age of 11 by a worker his father had hired. Type was hounded by media seeking to sensationalize an already horrible story, and faced the stares of curious islanders and people asking too many questions about the assault.
Type becomes viciously homophobic after the trauma, buying into every negative stereotype about gay people. Khom, who has always known he's gay and who has had a crush on Type throughout his youth, wants to be a calming presence. He supports Type, is his confidant and friend, and swallows his objections to what Type says.
But Type's hatred just keeps growing and growing, and Khom is finally sick of hearing it. He reveals to Type that he's gay, hoping Type will reconsider his homophobia after learning his best friend, who has always been there for him, is gay.
Instead, Type throws it all in Khom's face. He calls Khom a pervert, a slut, and is disgusted by his association with Khom.
Khom is very similar to Mahasamut in Love Sea, in which he will internalize the opinions of people he cares about. Type's words cut as deeply as a knife, and are the trigger for a lot of the plot of Love Sand.
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Several days after Type returned to his university in Bangkok, Khom is isolating himself and trying to deal with the pain in his heart. He withdraws from everyone, and sits alone to mourn his lifelong one-sided crush.
Khom isn't good at making friends. He's friendly with some guys on the island, but not in a way where he'd turn to any of them if he's in pain. He's extremely introverted, and deeply isolated.
Mahasamut tracks him down one day at a kind of secluded beach the locals keep to themselves. Mut is an older boy on the island, around 21, and viciously charismatic. His business is word-of-mouth, and there isn't much Mahasamut won't do to make sure he's the first choice of every traveler.
But right now, he's in trouble and needs help. Mahasamut was jumped at a bar by a gang of local boys who tried to fuck with him. Despite it being 6:1, Mahsasamut won the fight, but slipped on a beer bottle afterwards and broke his leg.
Mahasamut has a visitor coming to the island the next day, who booked his services and whose business Mut cannot afford to lose. Even if he's the choice of any traveler who can book him, Mahasamut very much lives hand to mouth. Khom is the only other boy on the island who speaks English as well as Mahasamut, and he needs Khom to pretend to be him and play tour guide for 3 days.
In exchange, Mut will give Khom a cut of what the foreigner is paying.
Khom reluctantly agrees, figuring it will be a distraction from his dark thoughts and pain of falling out with Type.
Khom is instantly and immediately attracted to Connor, but he knows how dangerous that is. Connor has a wild playboy aura, and fierce green eyes that make him darkly seductive. He's also 11 years older than Khom.
With a shock, Khom quickly learns that Connor is completely fluent in Thai, though he pretends not to be around most people. Connor is Canadian, and on the island as part of a vacation tour of dive spots.
And that's all Khom is allowed to know. If he asks any questions about Connor's life, Connor quite obviously changes the subject, making it very clear that Khom is not entitled to any personal information at all. Not even how he knows Thai.
Connor is overtly attracted to Khom, and flirts with him constantly. Khom takes him to local hangouts, where the food is more authentic and people more themselves than around the tourist areas.
Khom gets drunk at one such spot, encouraged by Connor, and loses all sense of where he is. He's hot, so he strips, and attracts the attention of basically the Thai equivalent of siren.
In Khom's mind, the demon is coming to steal his soul, but he is too unsteady to fight it as it pins him down and starts jacking him off.
In reality, Connor has taken Khom back to his hotel room, and when Khom strips his shirt off, Connor pounces. He ignores Khom's protests and forcefully jacks him off.
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The next morning, Khom is embarrassed to know he got drunk and the guest he's supposed to be taking care of had to take care of him. He also vaguely remembers having a strange dream the night before, but it's very much a dream.
Connor keeps taunting and teasing Khom, embarrassing the boy and keeping him on edge. Khom is fighting constantly against his own attraction to Connor. He doesn't want to be the kind of person Type accused him of being.
He isn't a slut, he isn't easy, he isn't perverted. He isn't the kind to have flings with tourists. Khom's had a couple of very short lived relationships in his life, all done under extreme secrecy. No one knows he's gay, not even his family. That's half to protect himself, and half because he didn't want Type to know he was gay, still hoping that Type's prejudice would eventually fade.
Connor wants to go for a dive, so Mahasamut sends Palm with a rented boat. But the boat is WAY too nice, and Khom realizes that Connor must be paying Mahasamut way above his normal rate. Meanwhile, he's giving Khom pennies for filling in.
Khom is supposed to be pretending to be Mahasamut so that Connor doesn't know this isn't the guide he hired. But Khom is so bad at it that he keeps forgetting, and it's obvious to Connor from the start. It is never confirmed nor denied, but Khom suspects Mahasamut somewhat pimped him out to Connor. Choosing Khom as his guide because Khom is physically exactly the kind of person Connor is attracted to.
While diving, Connor pretends to drown so that Khom has to give him air (they were freediving, not diving with tanks). To Connor, it's a cheeky way to get a kiss, hidden underwater where Cockblock Palm can't see them. But Khom is deathly serious about safety, and is absolutely enraged.
After that, Connor sticks to beaches, and apologizes constantly for playing. He also doesn't slow down his pursuit of Khom in the least.
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The next day, Khom takes Connor out again, this time on a motorbike. Connor is very suggestive all day, and keeps Khom anxious and on the edge. Eventually, even though Khom repeatedly asks him to behave, Connor distracts Khom while he's driving and Khom nearly collides with a car. He crashes the bike, and while Connor is fine, Khom's leg is torn up.
Khom has to go to the hospital, and Connor is extremely embarrassed and worried. He takes Khom back to the resort and takes care of him.... but in a very Connor way.
He helps strip Khom, and then sits there in the bathroom with him while Khom takes a bath with maximum embarrassment. He also deliberately leaves the towel away from the tub so that Khom has to ask him for it while Connor stares at him.
Connor then makes Khom lay on the bed and take his medicine, which puts him to sleep. Khom is incredibly upset- he's ruined Connor's last night on the island, and now a guest is losing out on enjoying the area because he has to take care of his guide.
The next morning, Khom wakes in intense pain from the leg. Connor again gives him medicine, and tells him to go back to sleep. Khom doesn't want to lose the time with Connor, but Connor won't hear it.
When Khom next wakes, it's late in the afternoon. Connor has not only missed his checkout time, but he's also missed the last boat off the island for the day. Khom is again embarrassed and upset, but Connor doesn't care.
Connor then reveals that he actually extended his vacation the night before, and did it specifically because he's interested in the island, but also in Khom. Mahasamut has also given Khom as his guaranteed tour guide for his extended stay. This kind of reminds Khom that he's acting like a prostitute, wanting to sleep with the man who he's been hired to guide.
The next morning, on one public beach, while Connor is swimming, Khom is approached by a group of guys (Khom can't get in the water with his injury). One of them is Jun, a local who was once a classmate of Khom's. Jun's family had the money to send him to school on the mainland, and he's returned with his rich friends, making fun of how shabby the island is.
Khom loves the island as fiercely as Mahasamut does, and Jun pisses him off. Jun belittles Khom, and right then Connor reappears and steps in. He puts Jun in his place, taunting him and destroying him and his dignity in front of his rich little friends, until they laugh at Jun and leave him.
Jun is pissed, but Connor is massive, and so he is forced to back down.
Connor then takes Khom back to Mahasamut's truck (that Khom had for the day) and helps him finally vent some emotion. Khom is mad at Jun but swallowing it, and Connor encourages him until Khom finally yells in the car. As a reward, Connor gives Khom a kiss.
Khom wants to be bold a little longer, and so he asks Connor if he can request a bigger award. Connor has been pursuing him all day, and making it clear how badly he wants Khom. The kiss also makes Khom realize that he wasn't dreaming the other night, Connor definitely took advantage of him when he was drunk.
But Khom is so thirsty that he doesn't care right now.
Connor lays Khom's seat down in the truck and gives Khom the best blowjob of his life, but won't let Khom touch him in response. He swallows most of the cum and feeds Khom a little, visibly becoming feral watching Khom shyly lick it off his fingers.
But when Khom wants to return the favor, Connor just straightens up as if nothing happened and drives Khom back home. Khom feels embarrassed and humiliated. Connor is visibly hard in his pants, but clearly he's decided Khom is incapable of taking care of him. As the night goes on, Khom sinks deeper and deeper into just feeling like some slut.
Khom takes Connor to some dive spots over the next day, but Khom has to stay on the boat while Palm dives with Connor, much to Connor's chagrin. Palm clearly knows Connor and Khom are interested in each other, but Khom's leg cannot get wet.
The next day, Khom takes Connor to a secret beach, one of several the locals kind of keep to themselves. It's isolated, pristine, and quiet. Connor wants to have a picnic, but this beach doesn't have a dock, a detail Khom forgot about. To protect Khom's leg, Connor jumps into the water and carries Khom to shore.
Connor and Khom start making out, and a storm hits. They move beneath an overhang and decide to wait out the storm. It is then that Connor asks Khom how old he is.
All this time, Connor has thought Khom was 16-17. Somehow in Connor's mind that translated to jacking off a drunk and protesting Khom was acceptable, as was giving him a blowjob and making endless sexual overtures to him, but letting Khom touch him sexually was not.
When Connor finds out Khom is 19, all bets are off. Connor and Khom pounce on each other, and have sex on the beach for several hours. Khom is shy and easily embarrassed, which turns Connor on. Connor is into sexual sadism, and Khom finds himself overwhelmingly turned on by the hard and rough sex Connor offers.
But after the sex is over, Khom is again embarrassed. Partly for breaking his own rules and sleeping with a client, but also how shamelessly he begged for Connor to be harder and rougher.
Connor calls Khom "honey", but is clear that that nickname is not the term of endearment, but a reference to his honey-colored skin. He'll also call him "baby", and during sex "slut". Khom, hiding his own self-loathing and shame for having sex without any kind of relationship, calls Connor "pervert" constantly.
Connor and Khom are insatiable after their sex on the beach. Khom accepts that he's just a slut, that none of this means anything to Connor, but it feels good. They burn through condoms hard and fast, and Connor shows his truest colors in repeatedly forcing orgasms out of Khom, long after Khom as begged for mercy.
But that's part of what he and Khom both enjoy. Because Khom very much does enjoy it.
Connor also comes to Khom's house to have real, authentic local food made by Khom's mother. He's polite and charming, and interested in learning about Khom. Connor finds out Khom is in college, studying on the mainland to a degree (he's in a small local school in the city where the ferry to the island picks up tourists), and that is as far as Khom has ever been.
Khom expresses some jealousy of friends of his who have been to Bangkok, and how it's a dream of his to go there someday. It's a bit subtle, but he expresses a desire to go further, and some disappointment that he won't.
That night, Connor calls his best friend Tongrak, and makes a few demands.
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The next evening, as Khom is walking with Connor along a beach, Connor tells Khom that he will be leaving the next day. His vacation time is used up.
Khom is devastated, but tries not to show it. He's fallen in love with Connor over the last week and a half, thoroughly and truly, and while he always knew this day was coming, he is heartbroken. Khom knows he has no right to ask Connor to stay, he's just some islander who spread his legs for the man.
Connor then tells Khom that he'd like it if Khom left with him. He tells Khom he arranged a spot for him at a university, a private dorm, and will give Khom a large living allowance in exchange for Khom sleeping with Connor whenever he asks. Khom won't live with Connor, and Connor will mostly leave him alone, but they'll have sex at least once a week.
Khom is shattered.
He already thought of himself as a slut for throwing himself at a tourist, but Connor's words are shredding what dignity he thought he had in believing their attraction was mutual. Connor knows Khom's family isn't wealthy, and he knows Khom helps his father with work as much as possible, so Connor helpfully mentions Khom can send the money back to his parents to make things easier for them.
But Connor, growing up in privelige, doesn't understand how that sounds. Like he's looking down on Khom's family and what they have. Like he's saying they're so poor that they have to sell their son into sexual slavery just to make ends meet. Khom's family isn't wealthy, but they have as much as they need, and they're happy.
Khom punches Connor and runs away, hiding on a remote beach as he sobs. Everything he thought he had with Connor was a lie. Connor only saw him as some poor island boy who he could make his personal hooker.
Every nasty thing Type said to him is at the foreground of his mind as he processes his and Connor's relationship through an increasingly negative lense.
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Khom stays out all night, hiding from the world. He doesn't leave the beach until Mahasamut comes to find him there, letting him know that Mut personally saw Connor off onto the boat. He's gone for good.
And he knows what went down. Mut tries to console Khom by saying he should have agreed to it, then made Connor pay not with his money, but with his heart. That's what Mahasamut would do if he was in Khom's shoes.
Khom brushes Mahasamut off, and tries to go back to his life.
But Connor had pissed off Jun a week ago, humiliating him in front of his rich friends and making them dump him in disgrace.
Jun asked around locals who worked at the resort, and found out that Khom was in Connor's room most nights. He also found out the trash of that room was filled with used condoms every day.
Jun jumps Khom outside of a local shop one evening. He picks a fight with Khom, who initially tries to put up a fight in return. Jun outs Khom as gay to the whole island, which takes a lot of the fight out of Khom as Jun loudly yells about all the used condoms in Connor's room and how Khom is some hooker who spread it for money because his family is poor.
And then Jun really brutlly starts wailing on Khom, and Khom's only awareness through the pain is that everyone is just watching. No one is helping him. They look vaguely disgusted (likely at the overall spectacle, but he reads it as them being disgusted with him).
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Khom loses consciousness, and Jun finally stops. A friend of Mahasamut's in the crowd calls the man, and while Mahasamut rushes to the area, the friend takes Khom to the hospital (you don't get the friend's name, but it's not Palm).
Khom regains consciousness enough to refuse to stay at the hospital, so Mahasamut comes and picks him up. The next time Khom wakes up, he's in Mut's shack, in his bed, with the older guy watching over him.
Mahasamut tells Khom that he bent arms and convinced as many people as he could to keep what Jun said quiet- about him sleeping with Connor and about him being gay. But Khom knows it's impossible for Mahasamut to silence enough people. Word has probably already gotten back to his parents.
Khom is terrified, positive his parents will throw him out for being gay, and feeling like garbage for ever sleeping with Connor. Mahasamut recommends he leave the island and go back to his dorm on the mainland, to give himself some time away for things to quiet down. Khom was already thinking along the same lines.
Mahasamut delivers Khom to the pier looking absolutely horrific, and Khom leaves without ever speaking to his family.
Over the next two weeks, Khom lives in absolute terror. He won't leave his room, barely eats, and can't sleep. Every footstep in the hallway he's scared it's someone coming to attack him for being gay. He won't answer any messages from anyone, and every ring of his phone makes him physically ill.
He also sinks deeper and deeper into every negative thought Connor's offer put into his mind. That he's only a slut, inhuman, delusional for ever thinking anyone could be attracted to him.
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Connor, meanwhile, hasn't stopped thinking about the fight with Khom. It's eating him alive, and he's become short tempered and angry.
He knows he fucked up, that rage is directed inward. He arranged the university for Khom because he could see Khom's desire to study and grow beyond the confines of the island to learn and see the world.
He arranged the dorm to give Khom a chance to build his own life, because things could end with Connor at any time. That's how dating works. He wanted Khom stable. He mentioned sending money home because he misread Khom's devastation at his offer as Khom worrying about not being able to help his father with work.
And he mentioned sex in exchange because he's always teasing Khom with sex. But he fully understands how Khom could have taken it so wrongly, and is pissed at himself for not chasing after Khom and explaining it all clearly. But Khom blocked his number, and he has no way of reaching him.
Eventually, Connor has pissed Tongrak off enough that his friend tells him to just go talk to Khom. He has no vacation time left, so he flies down to the south on the weekend. He gets ahold of Mahasamut, who only tells him Khom is no longer on the island.
Connor remembers that Khom attended university, and so he gets a hotel on the mainland and intends to search the campus for any sign of him.
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Desperate to at least forget about Connor, Khom installs a hookup app on his phone. He has thoroughly crashed, and since he's only worthy of being a slut, he will be one. He finds a guy who is a bit old, a bit dumpy, but it's a foreigner who has green eyes.
But when Khom goes to meet the guy, forcing himself to step outside, the man is vastly different from his picture. Khom becomes more and more uncomfortable as the man leads him up to his hotel room, and tries to back out entirely. The man refuses to take no for an answer and drags Khom through the hallway.
Just before the man can throw Khom into his room, Khom is saved by a furious Connor. Connor happened to see Khom in the lobby- this is Connor's hotel- and after weeks feeling guilty for what he did to Khom, he's pissed as all hell to see Khom following some random man up to his room.
Connor drags Khom to his own room and throws him inside, ready to fight. He calls Khom a slut, but Khom becomes immediately defiant. Khom doesn't see himself as having anything left, he's utterly drowning and doesn't know if he can survive, so he cuts off Connor and tells him he accepts the deal. He'll be Connor's personal whore.
Connor is angry, and Khom is determined. He throws Khom on the bed and is extremely rough with him. By the end he's more gentle, forcing Khom to cum until he's numb, and it's time to go to the dorm so Khom can grab a backpack of personal items to leave with Connor.
But Connor was rougher than he'd ever been, and Khom is covered in bruises.
After that, Khom retreats into himself. He barely speaks, and even then only when Connor pushes. The only thing he says of his own volition is begging Connor to not make him get on an airplane (Khom is terrified of flying).
He doesn't know where Connor is taking him. Literally all he knows about Connor is his age, that he's Canadian, and that he speaks Thai. Not how he learned it, not where he lives, not what he does.
Connor relents, and they board a 16 hour bus ride to Bangkok. Khom is extremely uncomfortable. Connor was well beyond his tolerance the previous night, and it physically hurts to even sit on the bus seat. Khom pretends to sleep the whole ride to Bangkok, but he's too sick to his stomach at what he's doing. That he's sold himself.
He let Connor go beyond his tolerance because he believes that as a sex slave, he has no right to say no to Connor. Even if he protests in bed, they are insincere and part of his and Connor's CNC kink they developed on the island. He never fights it, never limits it. Even though it hurt.
Connor watches Khom the whole ride. He feels guilty for the bruises on Khom's sides, and knows he has to be in pain. But Connor can't figure out why the boy let him go that far. He was trying to get Khom to stop him. Pushing the limits so Khom would push back.
He doesn't know what happened the past two weeks, but looking at Khom and really studying him, he can see the boy is way too thin, and there are dark, deep bags under his eyes. He is pale and utterly terrified of something.
The bus hits traffic and they get to Bangkok later than anticipated. Connor can't miss work, if he knew he might have been able to take a personal day, but everything happened too fast, and he has meetings lined up until late at night.
Connor rushes Khom back to his apartment, and it's then that Khom very pitifully asks if Connor lives in Bangkok, then quickly apologizes for asking him anything personal. He also only calls Connor "sir".
Connor realizes that Khom internalized what he'd done on the island- keeping personal information private to the point where Khom thought he had no right to know absolutely anything.
There isn't time to explain, so Connor just tells Khom he can put his things on the sofa, and Connor will be back late that night. Khom pokes around the room a little after Connor leaves, but doesn't touch anything. He was told he could sit on the sofa, so that must be the only spot Connor would let a whore dirty in his home.
He looks out at the city, so overwhelmingly different from home, and spends the day balled up on the sofa crying.
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That night, Connor comes home to a pitch black apartment. He realized with Khom's question about his personal life what Khom must be thinking, and starts to put the pieces together that Khom genuinely believes he has no rights.
Connor feels crushingly guilty. Khom is a naiive boy, and he's always known this. He wasn't careful enough in how he handled Khom, and knows now Khom must have been in agony their night together before coming to Bangkok.
When Connor sees the dark and empty apartment, his heart breaks. He thinks Khom must have left, fleeing him and his abuse. But then he turns on the light and finds Khom stirring on the sofa.
While Connor is relieved initially, he sees the black bags under Khom's eyes are only worse, and what's more, Khom is still in the same clothes. When he asks Khom, gently, why Khom didn't shower, Khom says Connor didn't give him permission.
Connor's heart breaks, and just when he thinks he can't feel any more guilt for how he's spoken to and treated Khom, he dares to ask if Khom has eaten anything. Khom hasn't, because Connor didn't give him permission to use the refrigerator. Khom references Connor's initial offer, how Khom isn't supposed to be in Connor's personal home, he'll have a spot of his own where he's kept until Connor wants to use him.
Connor tells Khom to forget everything he said on the island. The home is as much Khom's as it is Connor's, and he has complete reign over it. He can sleep in any bed he wants, use the television, use everything he wants right down to Connor's toothbrush if he needs it, and empty the fridge as much as he wants.
Khom showers and Connor tries to coax some emotion out of him by asking Khom what he wants to eat. But every food Khom has heard of in Bangkok (from Type) are pastries, and Connor feels worse and worse seeing the flicker of hope leave Khom's eyes each time he tells Khom he can't have it (the shops are closed, and Khom will probably make himself sick eating sweets after not eating for days).
Khom shuts down again, and tells Connor he will eat whatever Connor wants him to. Connor takes him out and orders too much food, feeling worse and worse as he watches Khom devour it. Khom doesn't eat a lot usually, and how quickly he shovels the food down tells Connor how much he's starved himself.
Before going home, Connor takes him to a grocery store. Khom won't ask for or buy anything, he's acting odd again and has retreated. So Connor leaves him by the entrance to sit while Connor buys more food to fill the fridge up with, plus any prepackaged pastries still left.
Back at the apartment, he puts all the food on a shelf in the fridge and reminds Khom that the whole fridge is his to use as he wants, but also emphasizes that the foods he put there today, Khom should think of as his and his alone. It's Connor's way to try and cover himself- if Khom doens't believe he can use anything in the kitchen, he at least has to believe that there is food that is HIS and he can eat at will.
Connor then gives Khom a cardkey to access the apartment, so Khom can wander freely. There are only two in existence, his and Connor's. Khom finally starts to believe that Connor is sincere, that maybe things will be alright.
And then Connor hands Khom a wad of cash.
From Connor's standpoint: Bangkok is more expensive than the island by a mile. He doesn't want Khom to have to sit around all week until the weekend when Connor can take him places. Doesn't want him dwelling on things in the apartment alone, and wants him to have the freedom to go to pastry shops and see museums, all the things Khom mentioned wanting to do back on the island.
But what Khom sees is Connor giving him his first payment. Reminding him, lest Khom get too happy, that he's nothing more than a prostitute that Connor has bought.
Connor can't figure out why Khom's face goes completely blank. He doesn't even hear Connor anymore, just puts the money at the bottom of his backpack and pulls Connor to the bedroom.
While Connor tries to get Khom to speak to him, Khom strips and lays on the bed, forcing his legs apart and telling Connor to go ahead.
All of Connor's self-loathing and guilt come roaring to the surface. He repeatedly tries to explain to Khom that the money wasn't in exchange for sex, but Khom has completely broken, even further than he knew he could break. He won't listen to the explanations or excuses, he won't hear any of it. He begs Connor to just use him, saying he needs Connor to do it, because he can't take feeling any worse than he already does. He feels worthless and like garbage, and if Connor won't let him do the one thing he thinks he's worth, he won't be able to take it anymore.
Connor snaps. He tells Khom he has no interest in having sex with him, and tells Khom to instead touch himself while Connor watches. He reminds Khom that Khom can't get hard without some pain, and forces Khom to finger himself, even though he's still swollen and bruised from the rough sex 2 nights before.
But Khom is too tired, too heartbroken, and too overwhelmed. Connor unceremoneously extends a leg and shoves his big toe into Khom's ass, and between the pain and Connor's command- which Khom's body has always obeyed above Khom's own will- he's able to get hard.
Eventually, Connor withdraws and Khom's fingers take their place, but he still can't get off. It's exhaustion, the bad kind of pain, and on top of all of that, Connor is glaring at Khom with only cold disgust on his face.
And Khom doesn't know that disgust is turned inward. He thinks Connor is disgusted with him.
Khom's already fragile mind breaks and he starts to openly sob, and tries to get away. Connor climbs onto the bed and starts roughly fingering Khom while making Khom continue stroking himself. He ignores all of Khom's sobbing and pleas for Connor to stop.
In a way, this is what Connor has wanted though- Khom holds everything inside, he keeps everything to himself and doesn't express himself, and that's always been the problem. On the island in the happier times- he never knew how much Khom was internalizing the dirty talk and all of that. How ashamed Khom was of himself every time they had sex.
So Connor takes on a gentler tone and tells Khom to keep crying. Eventually, he manages to make Khom cum, and Khom begs forgiveness for getting off first, and tries to pull at Connor's pants, even though he's still shaking and crying.
Connor punches the bed and storms out of the room, leaving Khom alone in his own cum, still crying.
Connor is utterly disgusted with himself, more than ever before. He likes when he makes Khom cry in bed, but a desperate, horny kind of crying. Not that soul-crushing sadness.
Connor doesn't sleep all night, and neither does Khom. Connor is horrified by his own actions, and vows not to touch Khom sexually again. He also decides to hold off explaining everything. He needs to build Khom back up mentally, to heal his psyche first and foremost.
He intends to build Khom's faith in him through actions, and when Khom is strong enough and has had some good days and full nights of sleep, then explain it all.
The next day, Khom pretends to be asleep when Connor tries to check on him, and Connor leaves to go to work. He leaves work early and raids every pastry store he can find, buying everything Khom mentioned the night before and then anything that Connor thought had sufficient sugar content.
When he gets home, Khom is again gone. But he walks in a few minutes later- he'd gone to the grocery store. Khom won't look at him and is visibly weak. When Connor says he thought Khom might have left him, Khom just says he doesn't have anywhere to go, but will leave if Connor makes him.
Khom thinks Connor is mad about last night, about Khom not being able to satisfy him after Connor paid good money for it. And now he thinks Connor is going to throw him out on the street.
Connor reassures Khom that will never happen. He shows Khom all of the foods and treats he brought, trying to bring any warmth to Khom's face.
A cream puff does the trick. It brings back a little bit of light, and Connor basks in that. When it comes time to go to bed, Khom again thinks he's expected to have sex with Connor, but Connor only holds him, saying he misses his warmth from their nights on the island sharing a bed.
For the first time in weeks, Khom sleeps deeply.
---
---
Connor takes Khom on a date, bringing him on the metro to the mall he bought all of Khom's treats from, and buying even more, anything Khom's eyes linger on. He also takes Khom to a sit-down restaurant that has southern food, something Khom is more familiar with.
When two girls flirt with Connor, he makes sure they know he belongs to KHOM. Khom is already overwhelmed by how overt a gay couple can be in the city compared to the environment he grew up on, and is both touched and put on edge by how overt Connor is.
That night, Connor realizes with a start that he's acting as mooney with Khom as his father acted when he fell in love with his stepmother, and realizes he's now sincerely fallen in love with Khom.
Things get significally better for Khom from there.
Connor is always gentle with him, asks permission to even touch Khom, and refuses to touch him sexually in any way. The most he allows himself is a peck on the cheek when he comes home from work.
He is also very aware that Khom won't ask him personal questions because of his previous deflection, so Connor makes a point of bringing things up. When his mother calls and Khom's eyes are wide at Connor speaking to her in Thai, Connor goes out of his way to explain that his step-mother is Thai.
Connor tells Khom about his family- his father, his beloved step-mother, and his half-brother. He promises he'll introduce Khom to them when they next come back to Thailand (a yearly trip).
This does help pierce through some of Khom's still present thoughts about being a prostitute. If Connor thought of him as only a sex object, then he wouldn't introduce Khom to his family. That's something you do for a person you like, right?
Khom shyly asks for permission to get a job helping at the kitchen of a small local restaurant. He reassures Connor it won't interfere with his "duties" with Connor, and won't tire him out. Connor is worried about Khom feeling overwhelmed, he's still very much recovering from a massive breakdown, but he won't restrict Khom in any way.
Besides, the work gives Khom money of his own, and Connor is afraid of giving Khom money again, afraid of Khom misunderstanding and going back to his dead-eyed state.
Connor also, after a month, has sex with Khom again. But only because Khom would really like it, and he refuses to do anything rough (even though, again, Khom really likes rough).
This time, to make up for all of the bad in the past, he is as gentle and soft as possible. His goal is to make Khom completely melt with happiness. Eventually they can get back to their wilder sexcapades, but Connor won't risk Khom, not while he's still picking himself back up.
---
---
More time passes, weeks, and Khom has saved up his money. He feels more secure with Connor now, and is starting to accept that Connor doesn't see him as a prostitute, and probably never has.
Khom has been gone for a long time now, and he gets a message from his old college that he's now missed too many classes and won't be given credit for the year. Khom decides to go and formally withdraw, and go to finally face his parents back on the island.
Connor desperately wants to go with him, but Khom wants a chance to handle things himself. He feels guilty for hiding. He spends his paycheck on gifts for his parents, and a nice handbag for his mother. Khom will go ahead, and in a few days Connor will fly down to join him.
Either to meet Khom's parents as Connor's boyfriend, or to console Khom if they throw him out.
---
---
Khom leaves for the bus terminal (man will NOT fly). Not long after he leaves, Connor's best friend Tongrak shows up.
Connor wasn't lying to Khom about there only being two keys to the apartment, it's just that the apartment is owned by Tongrak, who has the master key. He cuts the rent for Connor and their actress friend Vivie in exchange for being able to wander in and out of their places whenever he's feeling lonely.
Tongrak is a writer, but is bitterly lonely. He has major aversions to romantic relationships because of family trauma, and relies on his friends when it all becomes too much. Tongrak wanted to meet Khom, he's insanely curious, but he is too late.
Something Tongrak does with Connor when things become too hard is to just sleep with Connor hugging him. To feel physical contact. They've done this since their college days, even though neither has any sexual interest in the other whatsoever, and to be clear this is not a sexual act.
Tongrak flings himself on the bed, ignoring Connor's grumbling that he's laying on Khom's pillow and his perfume is covering Khom's scent. He only means to lay down for a little, but falls asleep.
---
---
Khom gets to the bus terminal and realizes he mixed up one of Connor's bags for the one his mother's gift is in. He was getting the last bus of the night, but he decides to surprise Connor by going home and leaving in the morning instead.
When Khom gets back to the apartment, he finds it dark, and follows a trail of Tongrak's discarded clothes (man isn't sleeping naked, just to be clear, he just likes wearing layers) to the bedroom he and Connor share.
And finds Connor sleeping curled around a painfully beautiful man Khom has never seen before.
Khom drops the bag he's holding and Connor sleepily calls out "Love?" (in Thai), pulling the man tighter.
Tongrak's name means "Must Love", the "Rak" part, his nickname, meaning "Love". It sounds like a pet name- and what's worse, one Connor never used with Khom.
To Khom, it looks like Connor couldn't wait to replace him with another, more beautiful man the moment he was gone. That Connor must have been just playing house all this time, while keeping his usual men off to the side.
---
Tongrak is woken in the morning by Connor viciously cursing. He woke up to find a note saying only "Goodbye", sitting on top of the original wad of cash he gave Khom on his first night in Bangkok.
Tongrak feels horrific. They figure out Khom must have missed his bus and come home, finding them napping together. Connor has told Khom about his family, but Tongrak never came up. He doesn't know, and it must have looked horrific.
Tongrak is the level head in the moment. While Connor is going insane, Tongrak reminds him that Khom will take the bus, which is a 16 hour ride. The flight, meanwhile, is only a couple hours long and can get him south infinitely faster, and with time to spare.
Connor feels horrible, imagining how much pain Khom must be in. He grabs his things to rush south, pausing only to make one fast stop on his way to the airport.
---
---
Khom arrives on the island feeling worse than he ever has. He cried the entire bus ride down, and feels more self loathing and disgust than he's ever felt.
But when he gets off the boat, Connor is already there.
In front of absolutely everyone, and at full volume, Connor yells that he loves Khom, and belongs only to Khom. He shows Khom that he's added Khom's name to a tattoo on his back of a tiger- a tattoo Khom always liked to stroke when they had sex.
Khom yells about catching Connor in bed with another man, and begs Connor to just leave him alone. He says that if he's with Connor, he won't be able to stand the pain any more, and is scared that one day he'll end up killing himself.
Connor immediately reassures Khom that Tongrak isn't a lover, but a friend. Tongrak himself is waiting with his phone close by to explain everything the moment Connor calls- though they don't do that until later on.
Khom is in so much pain, but Connor is giving him a lifeline in trying to explain. At least for the moment, to stop the pain for a moment, Khom says he'll believe him, and lets Connor kiss him.
Mahasamut, the shithead who is all about the drama, starts the clapping.
Khom and Connor move to a private area, where Khom listens patiently as Connor explains absolutely everything. Every misunderstanding, his intentions, the meanings behind every action and look, apologizing and begging forgiveness the whole time.
He also calls Tongrak, and Khom speaks to him. Tongrak feels absolutely wretched for causing the misunderstanding, and swears he will also apologize in person.
With everything out in the open, Khom feels better than he has in months. Things are still raw, but he feels safer with Connor, and understands Connor's intentions more.
It isn't total forgiveness- it's mentioned in Love Sea, taking place 5 months later, that Connor is still extremely sensitive to mentions of what happened in Love Sand and Khom still gets angry about it, but they're happy, together, and Khom feels secure enough to bicker and fight with Connor (who always lets Khom win).
Khom goes home with Connor, and while Khom's parents have some questions, they accept his sexuality. They found out about what happened to Khom when Mahasamut appeared at their house the day after Khom fled the island, dragging a bloody Jun with him to crawl on the ground and beg their forgiveness for hurting Khom.
Mahasamut has also spent the months Khom has been away making sure everyone on the island knows the same pain will be brought down on anyone who fucks with someone for being LGBT.
Khom will live with Connor in Bangkok, but for the next several months, he'll return to the island once a month for at least a weekend- possibly up to a week- to be with his parents. Connor agrees, even if it makes him sad that Khom will be gone.
Also, in acknowledgement that it's kind of stupid that Connor had time to get a tattoo and STILL got to the island several hours before Khom, Khom agrees to try flying instead of the day-long bus ride.
When the next school year starts up, Khom will go to the university in Bangkok that Connor and Tongrak had arranged before Connor proposed his disaster of a deal back when they first met. Connor will support him through his studies, and promises to never limit Khom in any way.
Khom also receives a long text from Type. Over the months since he last saw Khom, Type has fallen in love with his roommate Tharn, and the two are now a couple. He begs Khom's forgiveness for everything cruel he said- both on the beach to Khom's face, and over the years that Khom has been by his side as a friend.
Khom forgives Type, and the two maintain a social media friendship, not meeting up in Bangkok, but staying in contact via SMS. Having Type back in his life as a friend helps soothe a lot of the remaining pain, and Khom feels more stable and secure than ever... Even though Connor feels a bit insecure that Khom is texting with his first love again...
By the timeline of Love Sea, Connor and Khom are mostly past their issues from Love Sand, and Connor has brought Khom to Canada to give him his first taste of international travel and show him the world. Khom has also been accepted by Connor's family, quickly becoming a welcome addition and favorite.
Meanwhile, Connor and Khom start to turn their attention on Tongrak, and think it might be a fun kind of chaos to send Connor's favorite annoyance (Tongrak) to meet Khom's favorite annoyance (Mahasamut).
Though neither can seem to decide if they'll hit it off, or if Mahasamut will annoy Tongrak to death...
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I'm not gay but is it weird that I want to kiss Rollo on his (probably very dry) lips? Help
I mean....
Look at him look at this character design, the silouhette, his aura, his presence ??? The robes with the slits on the end ?? The 18th century cunty shoes ?? Puffy sleeves ??? Golden emborideries ?? That insanely cool staff giving him at least +10 charisma !!! (The general priest-ish look...)
And that face omg the tiny bangs + eyebag + "tired of your shit" look and almost constant frown
HOW COULD YOU NOT WANT TO KISS THIS MAN !!
I absolutely understand the feeling, bring him some chaptstick and go for it tbh
#Using one of my favorite jerma gifs to convey how i feel (partially)#Tbh I could rant about him in french for much longer I don't have the right words in english rn to just express#how incredibly beautiful and fantastic his design is to my eyes#Not drawing him for this ask because it really doesn't compare to the og art I love it so so so much#*dreamy sigh*#supporting all the rollo appreciators/lovers#watched hunchback of notre dame for the first time like ?? idk six months ago ?? not too long ago but I knew abt Rollo already hshfhjd#it was an interesting experience... :') Though I loved the animation it was really cool and the intro song is ingrained in my mind
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°•*⁀➷ YOU'RE TOO SWEET FOR ME: KILLER
꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "Only him, with his sweet silence, sweet touch and sweet love would convince you to open your heart. He was sweet for his own good... At least he was for you"
꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : Male! Reader (can be trans or not), gay relationship, homo relationship, cannon au (so pirates duh), some mention about short duration relationships, mentions about lies and promises about relationships, some cool guy trying to rizz the reader (and failing), nothing really triggering
꒰ WC ꒱ : 1,3k
꒰ NOTES ꒱ : I wrote that when I was trying to get back on writing, it was from days ago now, it's not one of my best works but is sweet enough to make me actually like this one. Still in my fight of getting back on writing again so pls have patience with me. Fem, blank blogs and no pronouns = block
You continued drying the glasses behind the counter, while a young boy leaned against it. Big smile, shirt open to show a little of his chest and sleeves rolled up to show off his muscular arms, well-groomed hair and clean clothes. He was here sweet talking and hitting on you a while ago, what was his name again? You didn't make a point of keeping it in your memory.
"You know darling... I'm just trying to say that I know lots of ways we can have fun together" He said looking at you seductively and you held yourself back from looking at him with disgust. That wouldn't be good for business.
"Well you see... I'm a little..." You were cut off when the bar doors opened with some force, it was still early and the place was empty. Besides, of course, the flirty guy.
There he was. A man taller and stronger than anyone else on this island, long blonde hair was on his back, the white helmet with blue stripes prevented anyone from knowing his true intentions while leaving a deadly aura. The soldier of the massacre, one of the worst generation pirates, first mate of a famous pirate crew... Killer.
The man who was flirting with you straightened up and stopped talking, he now seemed nervous and uncomfortable. Of course yes, he could have sweet words but nothing more than that, no one on this island had enough strength to go against the pirates who arrived at the port a few days ago. That's why all the civilians were being cautious, trying their best not to get into trouble, there were no marines on this island and no one wanted to end up dead for angering a dangerous pirate.
“Welcome” You said, and now the smile on his face seemed a little more genuine.
The pirate didn't answer you, he just walked closer to the counter. The way he towered over you and the other man was somehow overwhelming, although you weren't scared by it.
"Are you busy?" He said, a serious tone that could have sounded like a threat, although you knew it was his calm voice.
You looked at the other man, the flirty idiot, silently asking what his next move would be. Would he fight for his right to flirt with you? Of course not, he immediately swallowed deeply and ran out of the bar, not bothering to say goodbye to you. How embarrassing...
"I hope I'm not scaring your clients," Killer said as he sat down at the counter.
"You guys definitely are, no one wants to come over for a drink and risk running into the infamous Kid Pirates" You smiled at him, joking about the situation, then filled a glass with beer, added a straw and offered it to him. "You came back."
“Good for me, less annoying drunks to deal with” he huffed accepting the glass, after a few seconds of drinking through the straw he looked at you. Although you couldn't see his eyes, you knew he was looking at you deeply. "I said I would come back."
“You said,” You smiled, cheeks hot as you turned away, pretending to organize plates, glasses, and other things, just to avoid looking at him.
"So? Do you have your answer?" He said as he rested his arms on the counter.
“I…” You bit your lip nervously. You had been working as a bartender for many years, your uncle was old and could no longer take care of the bar so this became your job.
You learned to appreciate the bar over time, it was tiring, but you lived your little adventure here. Among the drunk locals and visitors you were able to hear stories, meet people and discover islands. It was like traveling without leaving your place, you met a lot of people, you even made some friends, you had some passions, but you knew that all the visitors would leave. This made you not get lost in promises and sweet words, you needed something stable, someone who would always be with you regardless of the situation... And not promises without truths.
Of course, this fell apart when Killer arrived, his carefree manner, his acidic humor, his responsibility and independence. He was a man like no other, just a light laugh from him or a touch from his calloused hands could make you sleepless for hours. It even seemed like a joke the way he was able to disarm you so easily, he spoke so little and wore a mask that prevented you from seeing his face, how did he have so much power over you?!
And it turned out that you weren't the only one interested, it seemed that the blonde had also paid a lot of attention to you in the last few days. Everything he did with you was more than purposeful, the flirtations too subtle to leave you confused, the touches that seemed accidental, even when he stayed with you until the end of the night and took you to his house. All this just to be able to approach you subtly and not make you run away from him.
And it worked... Well, for the most part, since two days ago, when he admitted that he was very interested in you and would like to go on a date, you simply froze. White head, dry throat, limp body, it was as if you had forgotten how to act like a functional human! You weren't a child! You had already dealt with romance before, so how was it possible for him to completely dismantle you? Passing through all your barriers without any effort!
In the end you asked for some time to consider the request, for the two days you wondered if he would really come back... Maybe it was just a joke? Would he change his mind? You were nervous about all the possibilities. However, as soon as you saw him entering the bar, just like he always did, sitting and talking to you... his body found peace.
You weren't nervous anymore, your heart wasn't beating strangely anymore, you felt light and a little dizzy. You felt safe next to him... This was so embarrassing because because they were internal reactions he wasn't even able to see what he was doing to you!
"Then?" You could almost hear his smile, damn proud bastard, he always knew what his answer was, didn't he?
"Well..." You turned around, crossing your arms and trying to go back to being the harsh and aggressive man that some knew you to be. "If you're determined to tarnish your reputation as a fearsome pirate by going out with some random man who owns a bar..."
"An extremely attractive man" He corrected you and you swallowed deeply.
"Right, with an extremely attractive man like me... I couldn't pass you up and turn down that compliment..." You smiled looking at him.
"Lucky me" He stood up "And a shame for you, because when I like someone I'm not letting them go so easily..."
"Oh yeah? That would be a problem... After all, I live here and you're leaving in a few days" You said. Although this was a strange feeling for you, this had never happened before with any other lover, you had never wanted to leave everything behind and run away with someone. But with Killer you wanted it.
"No problem... I'm a pirate, I can just rob you" He said confidently.
"It's not stealing if I agree to go along, right?" You said, getting out from behind the counter and walking over to him.
"No... But what fun is it to say that you came of your own free will?" He said amusedly as he ran his hand around your waist and moved to your back, gently guiding you to get closer to him. You just laughed letting him guide you, it seemed like now you were going to have adventures again, but this time not stuck behind a bar counter. No, no... You will now experience them personally, with someone very interesting by your side.
#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#one piece x you#imagines#one piece x male reader#x male reader#op x male reader#one piece x masc reader#one piece x transmasc reader#one piece x trans male reader#male x male#x reader#x masc reader#x trans male reader#x transmasc reader#male imagines#trans male reader#male reader#op killer x reader#one piece killer#killer one piece x reader#killer x male reader#killer one piece#one piece killer x reader#one piece killer x male reader#killer one piece x male reader
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crestfallen
sirius black x reader page count: 3 word count: 1386 /// ‘...and so, we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly —’ “OH, GROSS!” a voice cried from the stairway as the slamming of a heavy door echoed. Remus inhaled and just as deeply exhaled, the sound of footsteps pounding their way down the stone stairs. Less than five seconds later, a traumatized James appears at the foot of the threshold. “Moony!” James wailed as he pointed to the stairwell, the annoying aura of that one gross, sticky, smelly kid who wore that zip-up creeper hoodie from elementary school palpable, “Moony, they’re snogging agai-ai-aiinnnnn!!!” “I know,” Remus sighed, putting his book down. And he did know, he’s accidentally walked in on Sirius and [y/n] making out more times than he can count. Be it in the dorm rooms, the common room, the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch pitch — everywhere! Every-fucking-where! They were practically glued at the tongue! “I know,” Remus repeated with the air of a soldier who buried his heart with his fallen country. “I know.”
Normally during breakfast, Remus could hardly keep his eyes off Sirius. Strangely, though, as of the past few weeks, when [y/n] infiltrated the Marauders, he couldn’t keep his eyes off them. But he didn’t feel the same way he did when he looked at Sirius. No, no, when he looked at Sirius, he felt…warm. Happy. Content with life. But [y/n]?? Fucking [y/n]????? He wanted to tear out their spine and shove it down their Sirius-sucking throat! Like, actually. Who the bitch do they think they are? But, he kept that to himself; it wasn’t very socially acceptable to tear off your boyfriend—I MEAN BOY BEST FRIEND's partner’s nails. So, he sat there, hunched over his...his… What—what is that? Beans on a bagel?? God, British people are a bunch of freaky deakies. Okay, okay, so he ate his bean bagel and by god was he royally pissed at the mere thought of Sirius wrapping an arm around this hoe. But that they were actually doing it???? In front of him???? What the actual skibidi toilet??? Sirius should have his arms wrapped around HIM — wait that’s kinda gay tho.
Despite his eternal rage, time moves on. During Potions, Sirius helped [y/n] cut their dandelion roots, even though, “THEY’RE TOTALLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT THEMSELVES,” Remus explained in a loud “whisper” to James and Peter. Somehow both of them were totally oblivious to the fact that [y/n] was clearly taking advantage of his lover – I mean their age-old friend. Yep, friend. Friend, friend, friend. That’s what Sirius is to Remus, a friend. Golly, what a weird word, “friend”. Like, friend? I barely know her! Friend…Sounds weird haha. God, [y/n] is such a fucking dickwad.
Transfiguration. Turning a rabbit into a bo’oh’o’wa’er. Easy, right? WRONG! I dunno, man, shit’s hard when some stupid fucking hoebag is busy fucking giggling in your goddamn ear! “Wdym ‘in your ear’ they’re literally in the seat adjacent to you,” James said plainly. Where the hell James learned the word “adjacent” is a concern beyond Remus’ line of sight. This bitch is literally high-key on god no cap so annoying. Like actually. It’s the kind of annoying where the people in front of you are walking slowly but there’s no way to walk around them so you just have to try to not push them over times a hundred. “Lupin, your rabbit!” A girlish voice behind him squealed. In his train of malicious thought, Remus nearly suffocated the poor thing…It was [y/n]’s fault, though! If they weren’t shrieking like a maniac whenever Sirius breathed in their general direction, he wouldn’t have been so pissed off.
“Ummmm…” [y/n] hums, turning Remus’ porcelain teacup clockwise, glancing at a book every so often. They were reading each other's tea leaves, and for whatever reason, the Divination professor must hate Remus. Why else would she pair him with [y/n]? Fucking [y/n]! At least they weren’t able to manipulate Sirius now, but still… God damn, [y/n] is such a stupid asswipe. Looking up at him with those STUPID eyes, they said, “Well, here you’ve got a…a spider web over here,” they looked back at their book, “That could represent jealousy…” DAMN RIGHT. “But in it,” they went on, “is a heart.” They looked from the drenched tea leaves to Remus. “Are you jealous of someone?” they asked innocently. Well, innocently enough; Remus could see the snakeish gleam in their eyes — the serpent that lies beneath the innocent flower. ‘ArE yOu JeAlOuS oF sOmEoNe?’ NO YOU DUMB BITCH THAT’S STUPID. Being jealous is for pussies, and by god Remus is NOT a pussy. But y’know who is? [y/n]. Honestly, he could bitchslap that dumdum right here, right now. Who knows, it might be like in the cartoons when someone gets hit in the head a second time and they go back to being themselves. “No, that’s silly,” Remus replied calmly, looking into their pink porcelain teacup. Crack! Remus is holding [y/n]’s cup so calmly, he accidentally cracked it! Once again, this is obviously [y/n]’s fault! If they weren’t so stupid, he wouldn’t have strangled the cup. I mean, hell, if they didn’t exist, all of the world’s problems would be solved! No more hunger, no more war, no more dating Sirius — Sirius would be single and ready to mingle. Ready to mingle. Ready. To. Mingle. Mingle. Mingle with Remus — wait what.
The rest of the day continued in a similar fashion: Sirius and [y/n] h*ling h*nds, Remus strangling whatever he was holding, and James and Peter trying to calm Remus down.
Honestly, who the hell do they think they are? (“Remus, a word?”) “You look very pretty today [y/n],” Sirius cooed. (“Remus.”) Remus couldn’t see the appeal. (“Remus?”) Maybe if they ate all that makeup instead of smearing it all over their face, they might actually look tolerable on the inside — “REMUS!” Remus snapped his murderous gaze from [y/n] to James. “Remus,” James said, gesturing to a corner (the same one Sirius and [y/n] were making out in exactly three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-two seconds ago), “a word?” No response. “Now?” “What?!” Remus hissed once they made it to the corner. “Dude what the actual hell??” “What do you mean what the hell?!” “Moony, you’ve been a total bitch all day!” “Nuh-uh!” “Yes the fuck you have been!” James whispered loudly. “Honestly, you’re being a jealous bitch!” And it was true: Remus has been a total beta all day. In fact, it was more than all day; he’d been a total beta all last week, too. And the week before. And before…and before… Then it hit him: I’m in love with Sirius. He looked at [y/n]. They were in Sirius’ lap, a loving smile plastered across their stupid face. But it wasn’t just their lips curled in adoration, it was their eyes too. Their eyes were love-sick as they looked at Sirius. Remus’ heart fell; Sirius had the same look on his gorgeous face when he looked at [y/n]. At [y/n]. And so, there Remus stands, the ugly scowl that crossed his horrendous, scar-drawn face when he looked at [y/n] tilted into a frown. The eyes that had gone green with envy softened as water threatened to break through them. He loved Sirius and couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else, yet here he is. He clumsily picked up his heart as it lay there dying. Honestly, why was he even making such a big deal about any of this? He was a werewolf for crying out loud, a werewolf! Who on this god-forsaken earth would want to even think about being with him — hugging him, holding his hand, welcoming him home after a long night’s work with a warm smile, placing a kiss on his scarred lips. Why would someone even think about laughing at his stupid jokes, dancing the rainy night away to some slow jazz, holding him late at night, not caring that he was a grotesque beast. Why would anyone even think about looking at him…looking at him the way Sirius looks at [y/n]? Remus loved Sirius, but it was too late. With a defeated sigh, Remus turned his pitiful gaze from his fargone lover to James. “I know,” Remus murmured, burying his heart with his fallen love.
#i’m more of a creative illustration girlie than a creative writing girlie#so by no means is this my turf#but i still tried my best to write something unique and entertaining#anyways yeah#i had a lot of fun writing this#sorry if some things are phrased weirdly or if my grammar is off#i’d love to say english isn’t my first language but it’s the only language ik#i just really suck at it#tw silly#fanfic#x reader#marauders#marauders era#marauders fandom#sirius x reader#sirius black x reader#marauders x reader#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#peter pettigrew#wolfstar#should i put this in wolfstar?#unresolved wolfstar#marauders fic
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Do you come up with character names randomly or do you actively pull inspiration from somewhere, because it feels like they all fit the characters so well and some of them feel pretty unique (like the lead girlies in Hopeless Junction)
i think names gain meaning through connection to the character. even if its something like millarca that is direct reference to gay vampire novel carmilla once i name my character millarca it gains new meaning for her. francesca malcatras comes from My Lady (Malady)+Alcatraz so i do get funny with them sometimes. but these are the exception i normally don't try to do anything with them. i don't seek out symbolism or name meanings when looking to name characters. honestly you can name your characters whatever and the names will grow on them. that's my mentality at least
but as for ME i have such a strong preference for letters that i really really like to use (N A D I L etc.) it just makes me feel good these are the OPTIMAL LETTERS TO USE FOR STRONGEST AURA. name yourself diana and nobody can stop you. um anyway like i especially i like names ending with "A" like kalinda, chandra, zarina, francesca and liliana, shana, millarca, remilia, arisa.... i usually just pull shit out of thin air like naming my next games sister pairs with matching names lana&lina(just nice letters) and ilo&hali (ilo=happyiness/happy hali=hug) naomida will also have someone named pöllö (literally, owl) because when i drew her her hair kinda reminded me of an owl
anyway my preferences for these patterns is so strong i end up into a situation where i wanted to name my 10th character in the game "paloma" and my gf was like no you cant do that you already have too many characters with these letters its going to get confusing so I'm left spamming name generators and going down baby name lists to find something that is not something that is directly my gut instinct otherwise every single character would be called nadiana.
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Actually, really, now that I think about it in more detail, as much as I really loathe what Lisa does to Amy in the Bank, the truth is, if Lisa told Vicky about Amy's feelings for her then, if it was out and in the open between the two siblings...
Long-term, it's better for them both, I think.
It depends on how Tattletale actually tells it, like, specifically what she says, and also if she mentions the fact that Amy can do brains in that context. Also depends on just how many intrusive thoughts and temptations Amy has actually had to rewire Vicky's brain the way she does in Arc 11, and if Lisa picks up on any of that.
Now, I do think Vicky would be more upset hearing it from Lisa than from Amy (i.e. if Amy had come to her sometime, before this, and laid it all out, not that I think she ever would have without some kind of very potent or well-aimed external push) but I don't think Vicky would hate Amy over it?
Like, Vicky is Amy's #1 fan, I think, up until that critical moment. She loves her sister, and thinks of her as an amazing person, an amazing hero, etc. She might be some degree of weirded or even grossed out, maybe even uncomfortable with it, but she couldn't call Amy some sort of gross freak over it, wouldn't hate her, wouldn't like say 'stay away from me forever' over it?
At this point, Amy's done nothing to her, not acted on it... I mean, I'm not sure specifically what Vicky might try to do, because in part it depends on just how one interprets the level of crush Amy has on her. Is Amy just full on Vicky-sexual? Vicky-romantic? Some people still take it that way. Or is she just gay and just really in love with and attracted to Vicky? Is it just a super intense crush made worse by Amy's lack of friends or social life or any other outlets? Is it yandere-level obsession?
Certainly I've seen all those takes on it and more, and given what happens later on, plenty are content to assume full on yandere obsession. I'm not sure it's really quite that bad under normal circumstances (what happens during the S9 stuff is hardly 'under normal circumstances' after all), so let's assume it's not that. And let's go with 'Amy's Gay, but she's just in love with and attracted to her sister', for this thought experiment. No Aura, just - she's always been really attached to her sister (as the one source of affection at home) being socially introverted (to say the least) probably having a problem where people approach her wanting healing or cosmetic or w/e that makes her preemptively hostile to even those without negative motives, etc), etc.
I don't think she doesn't also love Vicky as a sister, and Amy sure would love to stop feeling this way about Vicky, she's just sorta given up on it because of... well, everything. As we see in Interlude 3, she's sorta close to giving up in general.
Like, there's a lot that Vicky could try - trying to find Amy a girlfriend would be A1, I think, at least in her mind at first, given the double dates pattern. Hopefully she might realize trying double dates given Amy's feelings towards Dean (which Vicky would have a better understanding of now) is probably not a good idea at first, but she might try for that.
I think she'd definitely push harder to get Amy to stop working at the hospital, not that that's all that likely to work, at least not so easily.
Obviously it's not like this is a magic path to mental health for Amy - even if she was willing to admit all this and more to a therapist, and I think it would take some prodding from Vicky to get her there, assuming Vicky even would, you'd need to find a therapist she could 115% trust. About all of it.
I don't think Vicky would tell Carol, though it is hard to say, as I can imagine circumstances where she might.
I do think Vicky would be a lot less inclined to take Amy to places or parties or w/e with her as a way to like, 'make' her socialize, because she might realize that that's still reinforcing the 'Vicky is my main social outlet' problem Amy has. She can't just force Amy to be social - that's likely why she wanted the double dates, and doing other stuff with Amy as a way to get her to have more of a social life (and probably figuring 'having Dean makes me much happier, getting Amy someone to date will make her happier!).
But it wouldn't be to the point of like, pushing Amy away entirely.
On her own, there's only so much Vicky can do to urge Amy to help herself, but the very fact that Vicky knows and doesn't hate her, and indeed, still loves her (as a sister) would do quite a lot, I think, to lessen the crippling/paralyzing degree of guilt that's always eating at Amy over this. Not get rid of it entirely, nor overnight, but... it would lessen it.
And with that being lessened, Amy's ability to actually try and her ability to muster the relevant emotional and mental energy to try and find a different social outlet, to maybe get help... maybe I'm just being hopeful, wishful thinking or whatever, but I think the odds of her attempting those things, and being successful, especially with Vicky giving her that push...
I think they're better.
To circle around back to Victoria herself - she's not gonna be thrilled to hear all this, I think. Definitely a little uncomfortable and grossed out, though hopefully she keeps that mostly to herself, at first (so as not to make things worse for Amy.) if Amy gets some therapy, so too should Vicky here. I wonder if Vicky might actually wonder if her Aura played a role, second guessing herself and all. She might actually blame herself for not noticing Amy was gay sooner, for not seeing what was going on, for not trying harder to get Amy other social outlets and thus continuing to let Amy only have her, etc.
That wouldn't be fair of Vicky to herself, but I don't she's incapable of that sort of self-attacking perfectionism. She is Glory Girl, after all, her whole power schtick is about the illusion and aura (ha!) of invincibility and perfection and if nothing else, she's Amy's big sister, she's supposed to be there to help her and all that, and she might feel like she completely failed.
Any road to Amy getting over her feelings for Vicky and getting to a place of better mental health is a hard one, and a long one. It's not simple, nor is it something that would for a particularly... dynamic fic, per se, but -
As much as it pains me to admit, one place where that road starts, one of the few places it could from a specific onscreen canon moment, is here, at the bank, if Tattletale had actually not held her tongue, if she just had kept talking a bit more.
#Amy Dallon#Victoria Dallon#Lisa Wilbourn#Worm#Guts And Glory#Wormblr#Musings#Fic Ideas#If someone else wants this idea they can take it and run but I'm definitely putting it on my list
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Tylo save me...Tylo...save me Tylo...
WHATEVEER leave me alone more ship alphabet garbage 😭😭😭 I'm gonna sleep I got work tomorrow 🫠🫠🫠
Logan Fields
A = Affectionate
A bit reserved. He's never had anybody to be affectionate with besides his grandparents so he doesn't really know where to draw the line. Also, you know. Hes gay in Georgia in 2016, he needs to be careful. A lot more comfortable with verbal affection tho!
B = Best Friend
Logans never had friends so like. If he did have a best friend he would be really loyal to like a concerning degree, probably protective too, but also extremely helpful and encouraging, always trying to teach you new things :D
C = Cuddles
A littleeeee touch starved :< So he does like cuddling with Tyler, especially since they don't get the chance to do it a lot (only at Tyler's house). He's super melty because he has to take off his glasses for it and he gets sleepy quickly. Will probably fall asleep during it...^_^
D = Domestic
He's a little romantic in the sense that he wants to get married and settle down, have a kid, and 3 cats. He's not in a rush or anything but it is something he looks forward to with Ty. He's good at household chores, especially cleaning and taking care of the garden, and he's a pretty good cook. His specialty is still baking tho.
E = Ending
If his relationship with Tyler spiralled (which has a decent chance of happening) :> If the resentment he had with Tyler boiled over and all the bitterness came out, yeah, he'd probably end things, probably in a yelling match. It's hard to see them breaking up amicably ahaha :")
F = Fiancé
He spent a lot of his childhood/early teens thinking he'd never be able to get married, so...it's a big deal for him. Cried when Tyler said yes (and while proposing)
G = Gentle
Generally he's pretty soft spoken. He's not a super physically aggressive person...but he has his moments 🫠 But usually he's pretty light with Tyler, specially since he has like...chronic pain...🤡 Also good at saying super mushy stuff that makes Tyler implode
H = Hugs
A bit awkward about it, but he likes hugging. Always a little hesitant, so waits till Tyler hugs him first, but he's a v good hugger :) very cozy aura. He's a short king so he can snuggle into Ty's chest.
I = I love you
Was so nervous he almost threw up- Got really emotional and cried- he didn't plan it so the whole thing was a mess lmao
J = Jealousy
Tends to manifest as insecurity more than sheer jealousy. Sometimes thinks Tyler will leave him for somebody "better" (him and Tyler are actually pretty similar in that regard) and he might honestly just bring up how he thinks Tyler can do better depending how far they are in the relationship.
K = Kisses
A bit shy. Gets flustered by proper kissing so he's more of a pecker, usually kisses Tyler's cheek or chin because it's hard to reach him with their height gap- he gets all gooey when Tyler asks him to kiss him on the mouth tho (^_^)//
L = Little Ones
He likes children! He finds them more honest than people his age kkkkk. He also likes how children are constantly learning new things and likes teaching them about interesting facts :D gets a bit overwhelmed by hyperactive children though, better with children who have quieter characters like himself.
M = Mornings
Eepy lil guy. So seepy. Big tirremd. Barely coherent in the morning, also he's not wearing his glasses or contacts so he can't even see help him. He needs a shower and like four cups of coffee to even wake up lmao. Tyler be literally dragging him out of bed because otherwise they're GONNA BE LATE-
N = Night
Total night owl, loves staying up late (especially in the summer) to use his telescope. Tyler has to drag him INTO bed otherwise he's gonna stay up till 4am or fall asleep on the balcony :>
O = Open
Honestly pretty closed off, he doesn't like talking about his past unless it's really necessary. Gets anxious if Tyler asks personal questions early in the relationship.
P = Patience
Patience is a virtue he's worked hard to cultivate. He does kind of bottle of his negative emotions so when he *does* lose his patience it tends to be explosive.
Q = Quizzes
Good memory and very detail-oriented, so he knows a lot about Tyler, and he's also good at applying that knowledge. He's better at reading him than most people.
R = Remember
His favourite moments are whenever Tyler is just unapologetically sweet and sappy with him. Makes him forget how mean he used to be :>
S = Security
Way more chill than Tyler, he trusts him to take care of himself, but sometimes he thinks about Tyler stuck on the tree...bleeding out...his organs torn to shreds... and he worries about him 🫠
T = Try
Of course he tries. He's trying so hard. To be brave. To love him unconditionally. To forgive him. He just needs time...hopefully.
U = Ugly Habit
Kind of a grudge holder and he's one of those people who will be kinda salty after you apologize for smth even tho he accepted the apology. Passive aggressive ngl. Tyler is always "..." whenever Logan is annoyed with him even tho he prolly deserves it 🤡
V = Vanity
He doesn't *not* care about his appearance but he doesn't care a loooot. Was raised to be well-groomed so he is very clean and proper but fashion-wise he's kinda...y'all know 😔 (he can look like a nerd and still be fashionable BUT he isn't just look at him 😭)
W = Whole
They got that trauma bond so no, not really, he wouldn't feel "whole" without Tyler. But I think he would be able to move on at some point.
X = Xtra
Very serious about learning Spanish! Tyler's kinda "...bro I don't even know it that well" about it but Logan wants to make an effort. He's really smart including in languages so eventually he starts speaking more proper Spanish than Tyler (but with a horrible accent) which Ty's just dead over. He can have a full on convo with Marianna and everything.
Y = Yuck
HATEEEES how protective Tyler is. Like he understands where he's coming from but OMFG he feels SO infantilized by it sometimes. And also Tyler is constantly trying to help him and Logan just feels like Ty doesn't trust him to do things by himself. He hates people who let their anger control them too, if Tyler is mad he will just walk away from the argument and hang out in his room.
Z = ZZZ
Looks like an absolute angel while sleeping, it's ridiculous. He just looks so goddamn peaceful and serene, Tyler is just "?!!?!?" and wants to combust 🫠
Tyler Hernández
A = Affection
His way of showing affection is like. Annoying. He's that kind of guy who shows his care by teasing the crap out of you 🤡👌🏽 Logan was kinda intimidated at first but now he's like. So over him because he knows his bf is dumb. He understands the chalequeo.
B = Best Friend
He your RIDE OR DIE FR. Omg...THAT WASNT ON PURPOSE, I just meant that he's really loyal even though he's kind of a "tough love" kind of guy 😭 would tell you if your bf sucked ngl
C = Cuddles
Secretly wants to hug Logan all the time. Logan is very soft and he just kinda...melts when they cuddle. Like its a guaranteed way to relax him, and lord knows he needs to relax.
D = Domestic
King of household chores. Compulsive cleaner. Cooks AND does the laundry. He cannot sit still for five seconds help him 🤡 It would take him a LONG time to be comfy not living with his mom or sister (I think Taylor would move out first) so there might be like. A small period where he and Logan live with Marianna.
E = Ending
He's kinda...reluctant to ever break up with anybody, especially Logan. If he did it'd be like, more on accident after losing his temper, like Logan saying maybe he should leave and Tyler saying he will or whatever. He'd regret it ofc 🤡
F = Fiancé
Oh, he was really surprised when Logan asked him. And happy :). He had gen never thought about it cuz he was so stressed lmao but he was real excited and also lowkey terrified 🫠
G = Gentle
Verbally he's pretty harsh, that's just how he is. But physically, besides the occasional arm/shoulder tug, he's very careful with his loved ones <3 sometimes when he's sad he holds Logans cheeks or rests his head on his lap.
H = Hugs
Ohhhh he loves hugging. If he could, he'd be hugging Logan constantly 😭 his hugs are REALLY long and he kinda does that like. Swaying motion. Also lifts Logan off his feet. Literally shoves his face into his shoulder.
I = I love you
He needs to be really sure of his feelings to say it, and even then he usually says it very quietly or when he thinks Logan won't notice. For some reason has an easier time saying it in Spanish (he just like me fr)
J = Jealousy
Yeaaaaahhhh...worse than Logan. Hate watches people who be getting touchy with Logan :) you know he would get salty/sassy about it he's just Like That TM. And Logan is not putting up with that haha.
K = Kisses
Awkward and makes it way more tense than it needs to be smh. If he's kissing him on the mouth he gets really nervous and squeezes his eyes shut and just HOVERS there waiting for Logan to close the gap 💀 Kisses the top of his head a lot so Logan can't see him blushing cuz he's a loser.
L = Little Ones
Like a beleaguered babysitter. He finds kids annoying and he can be a little Itty bitty bit mean to them sometimes but he's like that annoying older cousin you had that you liked to play with because they were Real with you. Hair ruffler.
M = Mornings
Wakes up right with his alarm and gets straight to work. He goes jogging and does stretches, then comes back home to make breakfast. Logan sleeps through it all help
N = Nights
He goes to bed at like 9pm because he's a dork lmao and he gets tired 🤡 That doesn't mean he'll fall asleep tho! He's super restless and will be tossing and turning and sometimes Logan will spoon him so he'll sit still and relax for a second-
O = Open
...No 💀 HELP NONE OF THESE KIDS ARE OPEN FFS- 😭 naaaah he doesn't feel like telling people his "sob story" or whatever and he doesn't really like talking about it 🫠 He mentions things offhandedly to Logan, who...understands and doesn't ask.
P = Patience
Whatever he loses his temper easy, big deal. Consistently annoyed at the world, and who can blame him? World kinda sucks 🤡 he's been working on not losing his cool so quickly because Logan just doesn't like being around angry people.
Q = Quizzes
He is a detail-oriented guy with a good memory, not to mention being well organized, so he has a space for "important Logan info" that he thinks might be useful at some point. Not at Aiden's level tho (fortunately 🤡)
R = Remember
When Logan confessed, because he was just so...I'm tryna think of the right word here omg. Like, in awe? That this guy he's been crushing on and was honestly not that nice to liked him BACK? And they were so earnest and genuine about it and he was just???? Help???
S = Security
Tyler is overprotective of Logan the same way he's overprotective with all the people he cares (a lot) about. He will put himself in front of him in dangerous situations, remove him from situations if *he* thinks they're dangerous...can get kinda annoying about it...
T = Try
Tyler puts 110% of himself in anything he cares about so yes, he is trying very hard in this relationship. He is very meticulous about helping Logan out whenever possible, planning outings/dates, controlling himself around him, etc etc. Trying to get Logan's forgiveness
U = Ugly
He is overprotective and sometimes doesn't let Logan handle things by himself when Logan totally could. The aforementioned anger issues are also a problem :/ Also can be kinda brash and won't...filter his thoughts before hand when he probably should.
V = Vanity
About as concerned as the average teenage boy is. That is to say, very little- (helpppp I know this isn't the case for everybody LOL). He literally still matches outfits with his sister I don't think he cares about his own style too much LMAO
W = Whole
Nahhhh all of them got that trauma bond for life and would feel incomplete with out each other. I think he'd take it a lot worse than Logan too.
X = Xtra
Sometimes they go to church together as deeply repressed Catholic boys with religious trauma. Tyler thinks he'll go to Hell whenever they kiss but he's gonna do it anyways 😔
Y = Yuck
He doesn't really like, how do I say this, like. "Vapid" people I guess (this is just how he views some people tho). Like for example before knowing him better he thought Aiden was a really shallow person. So he'd never date anybody who he thought had nothing going on under the surface. Needs the relationship to be serious, like, he doesn't want anything casual.
Z = ZZZ
He has bruxism and like, scratches his throat while sleeping (not with his hands like, the swallowing thingy you do) (cuz he just like me fr), and he is literally so loud it will wake Logan up at night even tho he's a deep sleeper 😭
#sbg#school bus graveyard#school bus graveyard webtoon#sbg (webtoon)#tyler hernández#logan fields#tyler x logan#headcanons#ship alphabet
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LIFTING THE SPOILER WARNING ON THIS POST FOR LAUNCH DAY
Here's my initial analysis and thoughts on Asuka's ending (character episode) in Tekken 8
caught yearning in 1080p
handsome
thinking abt getting students now that the Zaibatsu ate shit (btw you don't find out the Zaibatsu is pretty much on track to being done with no leader again, which is why they continue the tournament presumably after the final battle unless you look through the character episodes, not the main story, for some fucking reason)
Asuka finally smiled at her accepting her and the feeling is mutual, this ending had great role reversal in the sense instead of previously only getting clear insight into Lili's feelings and thoughts now we're openly getting them from Asuka in response- she also felt tempted to give in to her old reaction first think later ways but here she's finally thinking before deciding it doesn't matter why, she enjoys fighting Lili and she finally seems to recognize what Lili's schemes are about on a level (wanting Asuka's attention and getting back at her for having lost), this is the closest so far we've ever gotten to a "I like you too"
this is on top of the teasing and compliment she gave Lili's ability in the same scene, and also correcting Lili on the Kazama Motto Asuka learned, which only Asuka could have told her at some point suggesting further closeness
"Softness overcomes hardness" you two are (HOPEFULLY) starting to change your relationship to be softer (also the hilarious hypocrisy of Asuka BARELY being a person living by any softness in practice)
I love that she even refers to Lili as "That noble (rich) girl", an ojou-sama, which is far better than calling her by nothing or using a rude form of You (anta) as in the past (and generally she's given up calling Lili by rude terms be it in the story mode or otherwise including Shaheen's ending, which is honestly more about AsuLili than him lol, it's also incredible seeing Asuka glad Lili's life was protected and joking about Lili being a handful with someone else)
And despite provoking Asuka in a very shitty way reminiscent of Feng, the premise of this ending is Asuka beating Lili at the tournament so Lili will honor her word of putting Asuka's dojo back the way it was before she bought it- which Lili does after losing rather than refuse out of spite, even if she then uses taking it in a fight to provoke Asuka again, it's nice that she IS willing to listen to Asuka when it comes to promises
honestly if you cut the entire scene into only my screenshots here it still looks so fucking gay
Video source ( @ 1:03 )
This is the de-facto best Asuka ending yet, at last she's happy, hopeful, not confused, and at some form of peace and connection in her life
ALSO ASUKA DIDN'T CALL LILI A DINGBAT SHE CALLED HER AHOU (Idiot/Moron) LIKE ALWAYS AND IT WAS SOFT THIS TIME 😭😭😭😭
Plus Asuka might finally get the dojo back up and become the next leader with Jin's image being fixed and thus how people would see Asuka since they're related, as well as the current war being over- though Reina's new devil bullshit will probably ruin this in the future
EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION
PAIR OF BIRDS; BIRD MOTIF FOR KAZAMAS RETURNS
I doubt these are Jun's birds specifically it's more likely just symbolic of Asuka and Lili if it means anything at all. Also doesn't have to specify meaning lovebirds, in general their characters will always be put together. But it is funny how Jun's birds always appear to show her connection to someone she loves, so there could be a parallel here that Asuka's bird imagery would represent the same sense of connection. If it is a visual metaphor for lovebirds though by the time we get Tekken 9 then, the cinema of it all.
ALSO Harada has said Jun attracts animals because of her spiritual mastery over martial arts. She's at a level of power where animals don't run because of sensing her aura; she can suppress her fighting spirit. With how at peace AND in control of herself Asuka is in this ending, maybe the birds imply she can move in a similar direction from here on. And it makes sense too because Asuka has returned to a state of equilibrium now that she doesn't have the stress of the world being in chaos affecting her. As a person who prefers being in control, she's back to feeling some control over her life.
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THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE:
1. It's great that the tone of their relationship is now friendlier, but like in story mode and other places they appear as a pair, we're never shown anything on how they started transitioning from fighting all the time to agreeing to listen and partner up in general, nevermind during a global war they're supposed to have their own personal stakes in beyond not wanting to die (those personal stakes ended up being entirely irrelevant anyway which is it's own problem)
There's a problem present where you're shown the end result of an emotional shift with none of the journey or even a simple scene explaining how they got there, much like the main story and other characters in general many plot points and character changes are resolved off screen showing only the results with no explanation the majority of the time. In the main story this gets even more egregious because even how a character knows specific information usually doesn't get explained at all either unless it relates to Jin understanding the devil gene. This writing makes a lot of things simply happen like it's checking off a list.
In essence, WHERE is a scene connecting Asuka who did nothing but fight Lili and get pissed with her to the Asuka who's tolerant of her, is more catty and accepting than outright angry, is now willing to joke and play around with her, who taught Lili the Kazama Motto she learned (though I guess this one you can say Lili found it while looking up Asuka's family, something we ALSO don't get Asuka's thoughts on beyond surprise) and so on
2. The fact this scene ends with provoking another fight, as much as I like that it's friendly now, isn't the best direction. This fits again into problem 1; there's no on screen room to let these characters breathe and illustrate what made them change now to the viewer. There's no fresh angle given about their relationship outside fighting or even a new approach on their relationship within it. There's no pause in the formula which many people are tired of (and people are already back to calling Asuka a useless piece of shit who's a complete fucking joke, and I can't really blame them entirely because on a surface level all they see is the exact same situation as it's been for twenty years of cutscenes).
Also the logic of having this scene exist is confusing in itself. Nothing in the game story clarified if Asuka sat the tournament out or did participate but was eliminated and decided to follow Lili's progress in Rome as a spectator. A scene explaining either of those would give better weight and context to this one.
3. Zero mention of Asuka's father or his current condition
4. Having Lili imitate what Feng Wei did to dojos like Asuka's is the cruelest way she's ever provoked her. Whereas before it was often ridiculous, silly, and teasing, involving an event that led Asuka to spiral adds something uncharacteristically spiteful toward her from Lili's end. Insofar as what Lili has previously used to get her attention anyway. Keeping Asuka's trauma out of it has always seemed to be a line Lili was willing to respect. And it's off too because this is happening when they're supposed to be becoming friends/are friends now. It's too personal to be brushed off the way it is.
The only way I can rationalize it is if Asuka has let go of her anger towards what Feng did in part (but she still has a special intro where she wants to attack him on sight saying they finally meet so, I don't fuckin know, that may as well have been included as an easter egg if they're gonna do nothing with it) or she never really gave enough of a shit about the entire thing in the first place. You can make a loose argument using prior games to show Asuka never really cared about the revenge aspect as much- but her behavior sorta contradicts this at the same time. So really who fucking knows. Based on how she reacts here I guess it's not a big deal at this point cuz she doesn't get mad and jumps into messing around with Lili like a friend anyway.
Maybe this could be explained too by whatever made them act friendly now in the first place, but again we never saw that. So instead it comes out worse than if we knew.
5. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MENTION THE ENTIRE MAIN KAZAMA FAMILY WAS ELIMINATED BY OGRE IN THE STORY MODE THEN HAVE THE NEWS NOT IMPACT ASUKA AT ALL
We also never see them discuss what Lili knows about the family in any depth between themselves
Viva le sex gay I guess but now I have more questions than answers and that's a problem when the game acts like I've been given answers it never provided. I got something I wanted but with nothing to show for it.
EDIT 1/27/2024 : However that won't discount that I do love what I received and the potential it represents; I adore this shit.
#tekken#hey gorilla. just say you care already. like actually say it not imply it.#i like this ending more than i dislike it but the parts i dislike still suck lol#asuka kazama#asulili
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TOH OC : Haven Evermore
General Info:
Name: Haven Evermore ( Haven meaning Harbor, Safe place, and Evermore meaning something which is everlasting or eternal)
Age: 16 ( His birthday is on January 21 )
Sexuality: gay
Coven: Emperors Coven ( S2A + S2B )
“ Haven evermore is a scout working at the emperors coven. He is one of the youngest scouts in the coven, only being 16, and is constantly being worked to the brink. “
Personality:
Haven is well known to be quiet and anti social , even when he forsnt want to. He lacks proper social skills because of his tendency to just follow orders, ending up being awkard around others as a result. While reserved, he surprisingly has this calm aura around him despite panicking most of the time. Hes a people pleaser at first , which causes him to get taken advantaged of by the elder scouts of the emperors coven, doing their chores and shifts to make a good impression.
—
Magic info:
Havens magical abilities are a result of his magic manifesting late into his early teens , unlike other witches who usually manifest theirs from - well, birth. This is why his magic is a darker color unlike the usual white glow most witches have. His magic is chaotic and unstable, its strong to the point that it can start rotting into a black goo like substance. Because of this, his eyes glow when using magic. You could say his powers hold a similaritues to both belos condition and artificial magic , as Haven cannot perform normal magic , and instead can do things similar to artificial magic at best.
Haven does not know how to use his magic properly due to its strength and sorta lack of expirience. Which is why whenver he uses his magic, it harms him, causing the ocassional blue nose bleed.
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Hi, big fan of your fics. I've just found your Tumblr and binged everything Icemav-related. When reading about Icemav's political beliefs, I've gotten curious. Does Bradley share the same political beliefs as Ice (and Mav)? Does being raised by them or them pulling his papers influence how he votes? Or there are other factors in the play (e.g. generations, social media)? How about Jake and the other Daggers? How does this young generation of the Navy perceive politics (elections, gender, etc.)? My apologies for bombarding you with questions. But as a non-American, American politics have always been something we must pay attention to. I've seen many interesting interpretations on Tumblr but it feels more or less wistful than realistic, but I might be wrong (again not an American) so I would love to see your perspective on this. Thank you.
a good politics roundup post before i leave this blog
icemav & their conservatism: here, here, here
ice’s NECESSARY conservatism as commander of the pacific fleet (i.e. officers who are most likely to get promoted to the highest ranks do NOT break the service line when it comes to domestic politics, so by necessity ice would’ve had to keep his mouth shut, he Cannot be both a four-star and a revolutionary, like he just can’t; and being a revolutionary is otherwise antithetical to his character anyway): here, here.
and the original “ice & mav politics post” which is being updated here: here
I’ve gone back and forth on everyones politics over the last year of me being involved with these characters, but let me just tell you where I’ve ended up headcanoning them politically, if ur interested
ice: reagan democrat. “educated moderate” who was more right-leaning pre-9/11. now just a regular ol liberal (did you SEE those gay little round glasses in tgm? no way this guy isn’t a straight-up lib) with absolutely no strong feelings about most domestic politics besides “fascism bad”. Has some foreign policy opinions that areeeee questionable at best, like all members of the military elite (hangman voice: DO NOT ASK ICEMAN ABOUT CHINA. WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE). foreign policy neoliberal favoring the dovish side of the spectrum. A force conservator (“let’s save our military assets [read: my boyfriend maverick 🥺] for when we really need them, not for any old conflict. the deterring specter of the American war machine should outweigh the risk of underperforming”). He’s in favor of marriage equality of course, but treats it like a privilege and not a right. would be sad/upset if it got repealed but wouldn’t necessarily fight for it. “well at least my marriage will always be legal in california so i just won’t leave, problem solved.” Normie median Biden voter.
mav: political wildcard tbh. original 1986 mav is DEFINITELY right-leaning (i think i’ve written elsewhere, “he fully believes bill clinton is an affront to god”). i get young republican vibes from him. Full on patriotic (but dispassionate) 1980s reaganite anti-commie neoconservative. but after the 2010s i am very confused tbh. Tom cruise’s political aura is an insanely confusing one. idk. No matter what, Mav has some Hot Takes that a.) can immediately be shot down by ice using Facts and Logic at any time and b.) are not strictly partisan. He’s registered democrat just to support marriage equality (his marriage is his top priority but he doesn’t care about Other gays’ marriages, only his own), doesn’t care about any of the party’s other lines. Votes however ice tells him to. I get real “kind clueless libertarian” vibes from 2022 maverick tbh. Especially with the “isolating himself in a hangar in the middle of the mojave desert.” that has a political connotation to it for sure. bro just does whatever he wants out there
also, ice & mav live in San Diego, which… while in blue/democrat leaning California…is famously a bastion of right-wingers & has a hitler particle level off the charts… (sorry its not my favorite place in the world). That’s why they’re both continually so disgusted by San Francisco (a metonym for effete liberal homosexuality). Theyre from San Diego, hatred of SF & liberal SF politics is kinda par for the course down there.
Bradley: as u will see in the extras i definitely hc Bradley as an activist, but because he’s… in the navy and also like in his 30s… It’s not college campus activism, it’s just “things all of us in the left wing can agree upon” activism. so, like, BLM or pride, etc. He’s an “in this house we believe” yard sign liberal. He is 38 years old. hes a solid millennial so not politically hip with the kids (me)
Bradley & ice/mav disagree on the VISIBILITY of politics. Ice & mav, who did live through the vietnam era draft/near-dissolution of American society in the 60s and 70s, are not in favor of possibly losing their job/honor they have fought and killed for, for the sake of a political statement. And they believe their relationship IS a political statement, whereas Bradley would rather encourage them to treat their relationship like, I don’t know, a relationship that has a right to exist independent of politics!
Jake and the other daggers: idk. i don’t really give a shit about the daggers sorry. They r blank slates 2 me. jake especially is canonically frat-boy sexist in a way that gives me the heebs, much like original 1986 maverick and ice. But the navy tends to be the most left-wing (or thought of as left wing in common thought) service of the military, if that helps. But it is also the most traditional service of the military, and by traditional I mean BRITISH!!!! 🇬🇧💂there’s so much pomp and circumstance and hoity-toitiness that comes from the navy’s origins in the Royal Navy. A lot of sticking to outdated tradition in the very fabric of the navy itself, while the navy’s enlisted demographics shift younger and more left-wing/“revolutionary…” some interesting conflicts there. Like that one sailor who got blasted by multiple congressmen on social media for (with permission!) reading a poem about their queer identity on the USS Gerald ford’s intercom a few months back, if I remember correctly. Hoo boy the Takes that day were wild. Younger Americans tend to be more liberal but YMMV with officers, who are by nature trying to uphold outdated traditions of the navy for the sake of keeping the navy a unified service
i am of course writing carole as a christian republican who has gay friends and a gay kid not by choice but by the Grace of God
#i realize some terminology in this post is so hyperamericanspecific that you may need to Google it#like the in this house we believe yard sign#it’s… like… i can’t even describe it. it’s a kind of well meaning liberal who can sometimes be a little cringe.#and Reagan democrats (which ice is) are a whole political subgroup in and of themselves#maybe not Reagan democrat but like conservadem? but no that’s different too#blue dog democrat? but not sure he’s that conservative#THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS BECOME SUCH A BIG TENT POST TRUMP THERE ARE 50.000 TYPES OF DEMOCRAT YOU CAN BE#san francisco as a metonym for effete liberal homosexuality of course (it’s where im from 😎😎)#it’s a ten hour drive from SF to San diego like they might as well be different countries. san diego secede from the US when 🙏🏽#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#top gun#icemav#top gun maverick#jake hangman seresin#bradley rooster bradshaw#normie median biden voter ice#the navy is liberalizing but veeeeery slowly#most of the conservative pressure ive seen towards the navy is external! policymakers & budget drafters etc#the navy is very liberal BUT that makes it a laughingstock among conservatives!#so a desire from higher-ups to push the Navy more conservative to be taken seriously…is kinda understandable#when being taken seriously means more ships more capability more money etc#instead of GOP culture-war-pilled pennypinchers going ‘hey why are we givin the gay service so much money’#take this post with a grain of salt. i have never been old enough to vote in a federal election.
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im totally sorry for this poll (im not) but this is a question that must be asked, which boxer is most likely a furry?
and i dont just mean "oh this boxer has a animal in their name im sure theyre a furry!!" You can go off anything: general aura/vibes, looks, voicelines, expressions, speaking tone, movements, literally anything and everything
you dont have to take literally everything into consideration since that would be uncool and not very cash money, but you can if you want
the typo on Macho was on purpose
arguments for some of the boxers & my own biases below cut
bald bull - very likely, very very very likely
he fucking moos in the ring
hes very animalistic
he has bull in his name
he gives me furry vibes idk
king hippo - maybe?
hes pretty animalistic also
he doesnt look very human
animal in name, i hope you understand
He growlsss
bear hugger - not very likely
he has bear in his name (but what if its the gay kind of bear tho?..)
he eats raw fish (bears also do that(
hes besties with a squirrel and a bear (he could be a disney princess?)
great tiger - nuh uh
animal in name, very suspicious
that is literally it what
don flamenco - i had to do some mental gymnastics for this one purely based on vibes, could be both a yes and a no
look at him and tell me he secretly wouldnt be a furry. hes balding and he does eyeliner that has to be a gateway to becoming a furry
Flamenco is really close to flamingo...
he looks very furry to me (not as in hairy, if we were going off of that he would be a naked mole rat)
glass joe - yes, but purely off vibes
going off vibes again with him; he looks like someone who would have a ferret or a bunny as his fursona
he just gives me those vibes trust me
source: i think im correct
mr sandman - maybe, but leaning towards no
he doesnt have any possible things that would point to him being a furry somehow (he could be good at hiding his interest maybe?)
its always the people you dont expect being a furry that turn out to be a furry... you can never be too safe you know...
aran ryan - nope
hes just insane and evil
nothing animalistic here, hes just a bit hyperactive
#punch out#headcanon#punch out headcanons#punch out wii#aran ryan#glass joe#bald bull#don flamenco#piston hondo#great tiger
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since i decided i wanted to make Reed a butch lesbian, because not enough butches, i started thinking about Doom, even though this is a Spider-Man AU and Doom probably won't even show up, but, you know, I got carried away by a wave of lesbianism and wanting to draw fancy dresses
(crops below the readmore cause this pic ended up a big sketch dump)
I wanted Doom to be... like....... kind of glamorous but also versatile... it seemed like the right choice since regular doom is himself very vain etc. so i thought she ought to also be vain and gorgeous, and vary the way she dresses between things like tailored three piece suits with long coats, and evening gowns, and of course the armor.
adding the pic again just to refresh—
it was interesting to think about how a female doom might present herself differently, and take influence from various comics and other sources (thinking about the gold mask dr. doom wore in a specific comic for example). The one eye thing just kind of occurred to me while I was drawing and I decided to run with it—one thing was for sure though, i wanted her to be stacked. big tits and big biceps. i figured with her face all fucked up she might still want to draw attention to her impeccable cleavage also so i put some gold glitter on her tits in that velvet gown.
obviously the armor is exactly the same as male doom cause, well, idk if you know this, but large round breastplates fit boobs also.
i think that doom being a lesbian would really make the stuff with valeria's namesake/doom's first love extra crazy though like... god... i'm thinking about it...
anyway a little bit of doomreed, who am i to say no to bitter gay exes—and a college photo of the trio. reed is very tall, and ben and victoria are... well i guess victoria counts as slightly tall and ben counts as average. but next to tall lanky butch reed they both look short. i was trying to channel a very specific kind of "photos of butch lesbians from the 80s and 90s" vibe for Reed with the short broad tie and the high waisted slacks and men's haircut, and i think i got that. ben looks kind of generic but it's like. one of those things. it's jeans and a t-shirt, that shit has looked the same for like 50 years. maybe i should've tucked his shirt into his jeans or something, higher waist... lol
obv posted this pic higher up but i was thinking about clothes and how to differentiate reed from the other menswear-heavy characters (like peter, and octavius) and thinking about some outfits i've seen reed actually wear in comics, and aside from the F4 costume, which i'd imagine reed wears the most often—for regular clothes the kind of slouchy casual, slightly outdated look seemed like it was just the right style... like she probably wears ties sometimes still but mostly only if she's gotta go to something formal, you know?
and as you can see, sue is 5'6"
anyway i knew for sure i wanted Reed to be very masculine, a very specific kind of butch. basically taking reed's handsome DILF/absent-minded professor aura and transposing that onto a lesbian who still calls herself "Mr."
basically she looks exactly the same but with a slight modification to her figure. lmao. she's the kind of butch who gets asked if she's a man or a woman in public a lot. well. not anymore i guess, if the fantastic four are celebrities (though maybe in a weirder more invasive way...)
anyway,
lost in the sauce (butches)
#for this i did choose to genderbend rather than transgenderbend for my purposes i guess#obv flash and andi are both trans girls and doc ock is like......... well you know he's that gray area between a bulldyke and a trans man#and in this case reed and doom are not particularly trans but they are both lesbians#sue is bisexual fyi i think there's been a bit of off and on with ben and her but idk details#since like i said it's a spider-man au XD#but they show up sometimes#came in through the window last night#fantastic four#genderbend#i guess if u wanna block that....#fanadiart#nadiart#rough art#arghdesign#reed richards#victor von doom—wait#victoria von doom
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