#their entire friendship is them realizing they're hurting each other and there's nothing they can do
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it's really weird that they didn't make Supercorp a thing, I say this as someone who watched season 2 and then stopped after the comiccon incident. maybe they refused to make it canon in the show because it was a middle finger to the toxic supercorp fans, and there were a lot of them. I wouldnt' even mind since the second crossover event made me leave the supercorp fandom in disgust, you know whne many of them cheered when and alternate version of Jimmy, a black man, was murdered by Nazi green arrow, because the writers had him get together with Lena, it was bad. Maybe there are other reasons but it's still just strange when you make their relationship the heart of the show and don't have them get together..., it's just weird.
Once upon a time was weird like that, their show had Emma, Regina, and Henry, Emma's biological son and Regina's adopted son, not to mention the fairy tale bullshit that connects the two of them, only for them not to get together.
But with Supercorp, it was something that developed naturally, neither of them had any chemistry with the men the writers tried to pair them up with, and it was horrible writing when they were together. Yet Kara and Lena's 'friendship' kept getting center stage in the series.
season 2 lena was abducted by the daxamites because she was brilliant and had been tricked into bringing them to earth. She's going to be forced to marry Kara's boyfriend because of his mother wanting her as a daughter
season 3 a huge part of the season was Lena and supergirl's relationship breaking down, though she was still friendly with Kara. She bought Kara's job for her and despite Lena getting together with James, the writers never tried to develop that relationship.
season 4 Lena is again a huge part of the story since Lex is the real big bad of the season. The big reveal of Kara being Supergirl to Lena is what was supposed to propel the next season's plot. After she shoots him he makes sure to reveal that Kara danvers is supergirl because he knows that nothing would hurt Lena more. You know her completely platonic friend lying to her is what sets her off the deep end to become a villain.
season 5 their relationship is what drives the plot completely now since Lena is going full villain mode. The writing isn't good, but the writers also couldn't stop the two of them from having chemistry.
Hell, the writers had to be aware because the entire 100th episode was about Kara and Lena's relationship. The entire premise of the episode is Kara getting to see clips of what would have happened with her relationship with lena if she told her she was supergirl at different times or just stayed away from her. Almost every time Kara tells her, there's stress in the relationship and things get worse, but they're all about Lena, 5 separate timelines and Kara can't think of anything she would rather change with her life than try and make things wright with Lena. By the end, the episode is supposedly telling us that Lena is a lost cause, but I don't know it wasn't that good of an episode to begin with. It doesn't change that the writers decided to focus on their landmark episode to focus on Lena and Kara's relationship
By the end Lena realizes that she was tricked by lex and joins the good guys, Kara is pissed at her for what she's done, but they eventually can work together again. When lex sends Kara to the Phantom zone Lena is distraught, more than anyone else, even Alex who at least had Kelly for comfort
Season 6 is about getting Kara back and finishing the show. They kill off Kara's temp love interest and Lena is shown to be so desperate to save Kara that she's willing to go farther than Alex, her loving sister, to get her back. Even at the end of the series, the last scene of two characters on screen having a conversation of the series, is between the two of them at a lesbian wedding, where they're in tears talking about how much they mean to each other and hug.
it is bizarre that the writers didn't have the two of them get together given how much the series was driven by their relationship. Like I said, if it was a middle finger to toxic supercorp fans I would understand, but as an aspiring writer, not even a shipper, I feel insulted about how the supergirl writers just tossed aside the perfect natural relationship in the show.
I don't want to keep going much longer, but thematically Kara and Lena were one of the best relationships in the show. The actor's chemistry between the two of them was better than almost every relationship in the show, especially with any of either of their romantic partners. I dont' know, like I said I left the fandom pretty early and the shows been over for almost 3 years, but it still just baffles me.
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Slowly coming back to Tumblr after a month break of nothing but random queued posts, so, uh, hi!
Dukexiety has me in a chokehold. So why not share some more random Dukexiety shenanigans?
Okay, so: Slime Rancher AU. Slime Rancher is this cute slime game where you're a rancher who ranches slimes. One of my favorite games, so now it's time to project.
Anyway: Remus and Virgil have separate Ranches. Remus' ranch is called the Silvera Ranch, and Virgil's ranch is called the Marcello Ranch. Named after their surnames.
Remus' specialty is mostly all the slimes that hurt you. Crystal slimes, Hunter slimes, Radiation slimes, Boom slimes, etc. He even has an Incinerator to house the Fire slimes. The only not-deadly slimes he has on his ranch are the Puddle slimes because they're fucking adorable and make cute sounds and live in a pond to help with on-hand water supply for the water tank attachment on the VacPak. He even has the full collection of the Slime Toys shop unlocked (from the 7Zee Rewards thing), and got a battery toy for his Radiation slimes. The Radiation slimes love it.
Virgil's specialty seems to be the slimes who are sensitive to light or who are pretty elusive. Like Quantum slimes, Phosphorus slimes, Hunter slimes, etc. He has the cave expansion to his ranch all decked-out. He's a bit anxious about spoiling food or running out of food, so all his farms are maxed out with all the stuff to make them grow faster or scare away stray slimes.
Virgil has his ranch & tech & VacPak set in the purple Chroma Pack of Kanpeki. Remus has the green Chroma Pack of Tomatillo.
When Remus and Virgil meet & realize they're both on the planet of the Far, Far Range, they found out their ranches are the closest to each other. And on a faraway alien planet, you learn to make fast friends with those closest to you in distance because it can get incredibly lonely. And so their friendship begins!
They'll visit each other's ranches from time to time and help each other out. Dealing with Mochi Miles & the Quicksilver slimes stresses Virgil out, so Remus helps with that. Remus has dangerous slimes, and while it's more his style and he has the energy for it, it can still get him hurt from time to time. Virgil doesn't mind helping him making sure the slimes are fed and keeping an eye on Remus' farms. They both help each other on adventures when traveling away from their ranches, they'll sometimes watch the other's ranch if one of them is going on a longer adventure, and they help each other with all the science stuff in the Laboratory.
After a long while of being close to one another, the occasional joint adventures, all that...well, they start realizing their feelings for each other aren't entirely platonic. But they're not romantic either.
Yep, it's time for: qpp Dukexiety!
They're not sure how to define they're feelings for each other, but 'love' is the wrong word. They care a lot about each other and are fond of each other. They joke around on adventures. They help with ranch chores. They sometimes the stay the night over at each other's ranches when it starts to get too dark and neither of them want to deal with the likelihood of Tarrs.
And they have no fucking clue how to tell each other.
They don't wanna ruin what good friendship they already have! So, neither of these dorks tell the other that they care about them in a different way than friendship. Of course, because I am cliché, it all gets confessed on a joint adventure. It's dark. They're miles away from either of their ranches. They're on their way back. They're running from feral slimes and Tarrs, and the adrenaline is coursing through them. Remus is trying to find one of the start teleporters that lay around the area they're in. Virgil is holding his hand as they run so they don't lose each other. Virgil's the one blasting Tarrs with his water tank attachment thing. A Tarr pops up and attacks Remus before he can react to it. It bites him but then Virgil IMMEDIATELY shoots it with water and it explodes into little Tart bits. Remus is stunned by Virgil saving him as Virgil pulls them quickly into a safer little cave to figure out where to go next to get back to a ranch.
And then Remus confesses that he's desperately attracted to Virgil in a queerplatonic way. Virgil dismisses as an effect of the adrenaline rush, and so Remus tells him they can talk about it when they get back and it'll be the same answer. They figure out that Virgil's ranch is closest so they finally find a fucking teleporter and go to Marcello Ranch.
Once at the Ranch, Virgil tends to Remus' Tarr bite so it doesn't get infected and they talk. Remus confesses again, like he said he would. He admits he's been feeling this way for a while but didn't wanna fuck up their friendship because Virgil's important to him and he's terrified of losing him. Virgil stares at him as he finishes bandaging Remus, and then hugs him tight. Remus hugs back. Virgil confesses he's felt the same (queerplatonic) towards him but didn't know how to articulate it and also doesn't want to lose Remus. They decide to enter a qpp partnership and figure it out together.
Somewhere down the road, they decide to combine their ranches and stuff. It becomes a chaotic home to many different slimes, a mess of green and purple everywhere, and they name it the Royal Storms Ranch. They pick a name that represents a piece of both of them: Royal for Remus' nickname "Dukey" and Storm for Virgil's affinity for thunderstorms.
And yadda yadda, happy ending, qpp Dukexiety wins!
This is so long, my bad, lol.
( @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat )
Aye welcome back Oatmeal :}D!!! This AU sounds S O fucking cool and cute oml P L E A S E!!! It's got QPP Dukexiety where they have a deep level of trust and care for one another and are more than willing to stick by each other's side to figure out what they're feeling, Fitting unique last names for the beloveds that make really cool ranch names, Super sweet moments like them visiting each other's ranches from time to time and helping each other out when they need it, Them adventuring and surviving together, Them combining their ranches and pretty much raising a slime army together are all such fucking D E L I C I O U S concepts and I L O V E it!!!
#not gonna lie this makes me wanna play the game cause i've seen it and it looks fun (also no need to apologize for this being long <3)#qpr dukexiety#dukexiety#remus sanders#virgil sanders#ts remus#ts virgil#sanders sides#thomas sanders#asks#answers#oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat#not a countdown
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A note about the shame "criteria"
I think a lot of people get a little confused about what kind of shame is in question
It's not what you think
Understanding Shame - And so the purpose of shame is actually survival: shame teaches us to avoid behaviours that would see us excluded from the group. And shame puts the brake on behaviours that provoke more attack.
Trauma survivors have (typically) spent their entire lives being disregarded, ignored, disbelieved. It's very normal for survivors to feel out of place, misunderstood, and very, very alone.
They often do their best to minimize their symptoms and act like things are better than they are, typically refusing to seek or accept help, they often blame themselves for the things that happened to them (as children, no less), they're often embarrassed admitting that those things happened, and talking about specifics can be so upsetting and you can't help but hate yourself for not being stronger.
Shame comes in so many flavours... Attack self is a huge one. Withdrawal. Avoidance.
Maybe you were frequently called out in front of the class for severe dissociation daydreaming-- now you're afraid of having any kind of attention on you, and you really wish your partner would stop looking at you like that, why are they looking at you, something hurts but you don't know what
Maybe because of how often you were called out, you tried to ask for help but were told that you're overreacting, things aren't that bad, you should be more grateful, and now you're embarrassed and really don't want to tell your new therapist how much you're actually struggling, because she might think you're lying, and you probably are just making a big deal out of nothing
Maybe you struggle to pay attention to your best friend venting to you because Dissociation™️, and that's clearly your fault, you're the problem in the friendship-- but then again, haven't you always been the problem?
Maybe you struggle with relationships-- sex is painful after what happened, and you haven't found a partner patient enough to figure it out-- you're giving up hope that anyone could love you
Maybe one of your alters absolutely lost it on a very good friend, and now you have to deal with the consequences without telling them too much about what's really going on, but at this point they're suspicious and they're telling all your other friends you're crazy. Maybe you are?
Maybe you opened up to someone you thought you could trust, but the look in their eyes has you backpedaling, wishing you had never opened your mouth-- you desperately hope nothing will change between you two, and you know better now
Maybe you're ashamed that you're a system because the media says that's fucked up, what happened to you was fucked up, and all your individual budding symptoms of DID were scrutinized and corrected and disciplined and pushed aside that by the time you realized what was happening, you already knew better than to talk about it
Or maybe you just feel ashamed because you love your system, the terrible gift left behind after your experiences
If you can relate to this, these are all forms of distress, dysfunction, and shame, and they are totally normal and understandable. They count. It doesn't need to be hating your system. It doesn't need to embarrassment.
And shame doesn't need to define you.
Mandatory reading/watching
Starting with positivity:
What if shame is nothing to be ashamed of … but instead is the hero in our story?
The most accurate depiction of shame I've ever read
What do you need? - Shame in therapy
The Differences in Dissociation Triggered by Shame and Terror – and How to Work with Each - A clinician's take on shame
#syscourse#dissociative identity disorder#did#OSDD#actuallydissociative#actuallydid#actuallyosdd#actuallytraumagenic#shame#resource#debunk
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oh, mb!! may i have [r]omantic yandere!mizuki hcs?? sorry for the trouble </3
My first headcanons post in months, and it's only right to do this, haha. I'm sorry this took so long, but I did enjoy these! Although they might not be what you expect...
{YANDERE!Mizuki general headcanons!} [R]
꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
>—-×-—*~.୨୧.~*—-×-—<
WARNING: YANDERE CONTENT BELOW!
Oof, now this is extremely tough, for both Mizuki. Their entire secret revolves around keeping a secret that they fear would ruin their friendships, so them suddenly gaining feelings for someone? Yeah...
At first Mizuki tries to deny their own feelings. You are just their friend, nothing else! They shouldn't try to push it or make something deeper with you! Everything should be fine so long as you two remain friends, right?
Unluckily, love isn't so easy to just shrug off, and once they realize just how bad they have fallen for you, they start to get nervous about their feelings all over again, much like when they had the choice to join Niigo.
They hide their struggles from you, like always, but slowly, they start to drift away. They can't afford to become so attached, to show just how vulnerable they truly are, to rely on you with their darkest, deepest secrets. Unfortunately for them, it's not that easy.
"... Huh? Ah, sorry, I was just soooo caught up in my editing yesterday that I missed our shopping trip! Sorry, but can we put it on hold until this next song is released?... Huh?? What do you mean this isn't like me, just trust me, come on! I'm not THAT lazy..."
As time passes, it's not only harder to lie to you, but to themselves as well. Each day they spend away from you they think of you more, and more. Not only more, but they thoughts start to grow intense.
When they previously just thought about being happy with you, and being the best friend for you, now they wanted to watch over you so that you were always well, and safe.
So, still riddled with guilt and now even more so, they start to stalk you. First, it's just online, making sure you make the right friends, then it's more social, as they apologize for their behavior and resume hanging out with you, and slowly they start peering more and more into your personal life.
However, it wasn't of a desire to market you all theirs, they couldn't bear to take you away from what makes you happy, which they understood was socializing and being free, much like them. However, they wouldn't allow anyone to ruin your happiness.
Mizuki couldn't lie to themselves, they were completely and absolutely in love with you now, but someone like them, riddled with insecurities, lies, and identity issues, wouldn't be enough to make you happy, much less as a lover.
However, that doesn't mean they would remain just a friend... In fact, while they looked at you and felt such conflicting emotions in their heart, whenever they looked at others behind their backs, they didn't even notice their suspicions, paranoia, and wariness rising.
"Hey, you remember that girl that asked for help to study two days ago? How do I know about her- that doesn't matter! What's important, is that she's hanging out way too much with the popular girls! Yeah, you know what that means, be careful!"
If they could only be friends, that means they'll be the best friend they can be: Protecting you from people with bad intentions, helping you make your decisions, making your life brighter each day they possibly could. It doesn't matter whether their need for love hurts even worse every time they're called a friend...
It's not long before every single one of your days is influenced by them, be it getting new friends and letting go of others, changing your daily routines, and spending almost every single hour of the day in constant contact with them.
However, it doesn't matter how many times you chat with them now, as opposed to their earlier behavior, you can't help but feel like something's off... Their movements are more intense, their voice as well, yet they only want to talk about you, and shrug off any other friends they mention quickly...
This isn't easy for Mizuki, they love you so much, so much it hurts to be far from you. But they can't love you like you deserve, they shouldn't be the only one. They'll just keep an eye over you, lead you down the right path, keep you safe.
#project sekai#project sekai headcanons#project sekai imagines#project sekai x reader#prsk#prsk x reader#pjsk#pjsk x reader#mizuki akiyama#mizuki akiyama x reader#akiyama mizuki#akiyama mizuki x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere mizuki akiyama#/cawcanons
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Hanahaki Bowuigi
Tehe I'm back 💋
HEAR ME OUT OKAY! You might think that oh yeah because Luigi is timid he'd be our poor victim, BUT OH CONTRAIRE LITTLE BISCUIT TIS BOWSER WITH THINE FLEUR DE BLOOD!
Due to Bowsers pride and natural aversion towards soft emotions he doesn't even realize that shit until Kammy or Kamek points it out to him. Kammy is trying to give him advice and Kamek only gives him sass™ further pushing him away from acting.
After a while of being partnered with Luigi out of nowhere and on rare occasions they get used to one another and even cheer for each other even if they aren't on the same team. It's a comfortable friendship and Bowser likes this new side he sees of him.
Eventually they become so comfortable Bowser invites Luigi on vacation with his family to a Cheep Cheep Island he owns. Junior loves him as his playmate instantly. Wendy bonds with him over their mutual love if dresses and encourages her to become a fashion designer and make a gun dress, on accident. Morton and Roy both like him because he can cook and helps them out with their lady issues.
Ludwig doesn't like Weeg for a while because he thinks he's a spy or something and thinks he'll try to break up their family. Iggy is almost in the same boat until he realizes that he wouldn't hurt anyone and poses no real threat it helps that he shows an interest in his inventions.
Larry is on the fence at first because he loves Wendy and Ludwig very much and values their opinion but he eventually decides he likes Weeg after joining in on their food fight. Lemmy is in the same boat as Larry, but quicker because Lu helps him calm down one of his brothers after a prank goes awry.
Seeing all this changes something in Bowser. He becomes more... feral. He becomes more protective of what his instincts consider his mate. He does his best to keep it at bay as to not scare Luigi. The longer this goes on the more he considers the surgery to remove his feelings entirely, he needs to take care of his children and he can still take care of them even if he won't feel love for them anymore.
Kamek and Kammy notice amidst their insistent bickering. They decide to be as subtle as a tank engine to persuade him to finally tell Weej and after much resistance he promises he will because the great king Bowser fears nothing!
Overtime Luigi notices how standoffish and strained Bowser seems now, even if he's more protective and hovering nearby more often than not. For a time he chooses not to say anything until he notices the cough.
Bowser had been holding back for a while before the flowers started to bloom in his chest. What was worse was that they were also growing through his shell. Scarlet Carnations filled both his waking thoughts and resting mind. It would take him hours of furious yanking to finally look normal again. Until he misses one
Luigi immediately asks him who is it. Who is it that couldn't love him? Bowser eventually spills while Luigi breaks down in front of him. Luigi doesn't get a word out before Bowser leaves acting rashly, thinking he made him feel so bad that he didn't feel the same he leaves to go through with the surgery.
Luigi tells Mario and Peach, they're married, of course the kids overhear and they know where to go and they go quickly to stop the surgery after Bowsers already been put under.
Bowser wakes up in his bed and he can still feel and Luigi yells at him about his actions and how they would have effected everyone especially the kids. Luigi finally gets to the part where it would affect him. He says he would miss him and heartbroken. He confesses his feelings for him and shows his own flowers to Bowser, they had only just started and thus begins the rest of their lives together. ❤️
Background stuffs
Bowser coerced the doctors into doing the surgery that quickly that's how he could do it so fast.
They have raging... Smut after also the older kids are happy ab this they had bets going
Kammy and Kamek are basically Bowsers parents in this.
Luigi becomes king along side Bowser and the koopas are pretty pleased with the change of treatment going forward. Everything's good ❤️
#bowuigi#bowser x luigi#luigi x bowser#this version of bowser fucks#luigi#bowuigi fic#bowser#hanahaki#hanahaki disease#hanahaki Bowuigi
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Hello again, I'm back with another request though I'm not entirely sure if it counts as an emergency request or not. I'm one of the people who has a request from your notes goal post though and would be happy to DM you if needed though so please just let me know. I have a friend that I've talked to almost every day for years but we also fight a lot. Usually we're able to move past things and talk through them but it also often feels as though I have to comfort him, no matter who's actually at fault (for example, he does something rude to me but when I bring it up he completely spirals and I have to console him) and it was growing tiring so I began to put less effort into our friendship. In truth it feels like we just don't talk as much unless I'm the one bringing something to the table. Lately we've just been fighting more and more until finally he crossed a line and did something that really hurt me. When I brought it up he said he knew it was wrong but also laughed it off with an "apology" (I say "apology" because he was literally laughing while saying sorry) as though it wasn't a big deal. I tried to move on but everything just feels different now, like this isn't just something that can be laughed off. Part of me knows I need to just move on, but it's hard to just drop a friendship when you've spoken with them very day for years, almost like I'm addicted to a person. If possible could you please do something with Ace helping the reader realize the friendship they're in is toxic when they get hurt again after making excuses for the friend for so long, and helping support them through learning to move on? The dynamic between reader and Ace can be romantic or platonic and reader can be gender neutral as I want fics that can help me to also help as many others as possible!
Thank you
- 🌿
I'm so, so, so x1000 sorry this is soooo late!!!!! I finally got my stress down to a manageable level where I can write again. But I still wish it hadn't taken me so long 😭.
Warnings: toxic friendships, GN!Reader, GN!friend, relationship not established (up to interpretation)
Word Count: 1400
Leaning against the ship’s railing, you stared out at the ocean. Staring out at the ocean was the best part of living on a ship sometimes. The cool ocean breeze, the fresh air, the endless expanse of water stretching out in front of you, the warm sun on your skin. So calming and soothing… and yet, in a sense, it was also why you were so troubled right now. Your best friend was mad at you again. You’d been friends since well before you’d set out to sea, back before you met Ace and joined him on the waters. Even back then, the two of you fought often, sometimes nothing more than petty arguments, sometimes as big as screaming at each other. Back then, your fights were different, yet the outcome was still the same. You would fight, get angry, shout, and then suddenly you’d find yourself trying to comfort them. Giving them a shoulder to cry on, a warm hug and a soft blanket, comforting words and apologies. It didn’t matter who started it, didn’t matter whose fault it was, you always ended up comforting them.
The fight this time had been like a lot of yours since you’d started sailing. They wanted you to come back home. “It’s dangerous”, “Aren’t we friends?”, “Is Ace and his crew all you care about?”, “don’t you know what you’re doing? What you are now?”. You understood it was dangerous out here and you understood you were a pirate now, but you loved it out here, loved the sun and the water, loved the people that had become your family. That never seemed to matter to them though. All that seemed to matter was their happiness.
You’d slammed the den den mushi down rather hard in your anger, accidentally startling the poor mollusk. Thankfully, you’d only slammed the microphone down, so at least it hadn’t been hurt in your anger, but you still felt bad for scaring the creature. The snail’s frightened eyes had immediately pulled you out of your anger, making you feel guilty and quickly running to get it a snack to cheer it up. Another being that you had to cheer up after your fight with your friend.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as you felt a hand on your shoulder, spinning around to see a familiar freckled face looking at you in concern.
“Hey, you okay? You seemed pretty distracted.” Ace said, his brow furrowed as you put a hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself down.
“I… yeah, I’m okay. Just… just thinking.” you muttered, turning back to look out at the water, “Staring out at the ocean helps me calm down and think.”
“What’s got you so wound up that you need to calm down to think?” Ace asked, leaning with his back to the railing, looking over at you.
“It’s… it’s…” your hands clenched into fights as you struggled to get the words out. They were your friend, you shouldn’t say anything mean or bad about them, right? You shouldn’t talk about them behind their back like this, right?
“It’s f/n, isn’t it? Thatch said he heard you shouting in your room and earlier you said you were going to call them today.” Ace said, giving you a sympathetic look. You couldn’t help but hang your head, unable to look him in the eye.
“We… got into another fight.” you muttered, your voice barely audible.
“You always do. And in another hour or two you’ll call them back to try and work things out. Then they’ll start blubbering and make you feel terrible, then you’ll have to comfort them, and it’ll end with you apologizing and them ‘apologizing’ and you’ll both say ‘bye, talk to you later’.” Ace said, rolling his eyes. You looked up at him, your brow furrowed slightly.
“I… that’s… that’s not true. I…”
“It is true and you know it. Hell, you know it, I know it, Marco knows it, fuck, even Stefan knows this! This happens every time. You fight, you get angry, you calm down, you talk, they act like the victim, you make them feel better, and you part.” Ace said a little roughly. You flinched slightly as you looked away. Had you really done this so many times that Ace knew how things would go? Were they really so bad that you were so predictable? “The one time things didn’t go like this, you were so hurt that you barely said a word for a week! Fuck, did they ever even apologize for that? And not some bullshit apology like ‘oh gee, I’m sorry, that’s my bad, ha ha ha.’” Ace said mockingly, giving a rather bad impersonation of your friend while giving the dumbest face. You couldn’t stop the small smile on your face at his impression, finding it amusing how stupid Ace was making your friend sound.
“They… they uh… they apologized… Sort of. I mean, they did sort of laugh it off, but they sounded sort of apologetic. And I mean, they-” “No!” your eyes widened as Ace cut you off.
“No, that’s not an apology. Not ‘sort of laughed it off’, not ‘sort of apologetic’. Either they apologized or they half-assed things to make you think they apologized so you wouldn’t leave. You don’t ‘sort of’ apologize after hurting someone like that.” Ace said sternly, giving you a hard look.
“No, it’s fine, really. I’m… I’m sure that they meant it a-” “Stop!” Ace had pushed himself away from the railing this time.
“Stop defending them, stop making excuses, stop… this! They’re manipulating you so that you won’t leave them. They’re making you feel guilty so that you feel like you need to apologize. That way, when you ‘work things out’, they don’t actually have to try and do better. They’re making themselves out to be the victim so that you think they’re a good friend to stay by your side. You don’t need them! No, you know what, you don’t just not need them, you need to stay away from them! I tried to keep my damn mouth shut, but I can’t watch this ship wreck any longer! Y/n, you’re one of the people I care about most in the world. You’re important to me, so please, believe me when I say that you need to cut your ‘friend’ off like a diseased hand!” Ace said, grabbing your shoulders roughly as he stared into your eyes.
For a moment, all you could do was stand there and stare at him. Part of you knew he had a point. Your friend was being terrible to you, but part of you couldn’t face that, couldn’t admit that the person who had been your friend for so long was treating you so terribly. You couldn’t just cut them off like that! They’d never talk to you again! Seeing the conflicted look in your eyes, Ace sighed.
“Listen, I know it’s hard to believe, but I swear, I’m not lying. They’re a piece of shit. If you don’t believe me, ask the others. Marco, Izou, Pops, and Vista all know what’s been going on, ask any of them, they’ll agree with me. Hell, explain things to the others and they’ll probably agree with me too!” Ace offered, a slightly desperate look in his eyes. He needed you to see what was happening, needed you to finally realize that you didn’t need your so-called ‘friend’. You could feel yourself start to tremble as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. He was right, you knew he was right, but facing that, admitting that, had you feeling like you would crumble. In an instant, Ace had his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a tight hug.
“Come on, you’ve been the comforter for long enough, you need to be the comfortee this time.” Ace said softly, making you chuckle slightly at his word choice.
“The comfortee?” you asked with a small laugh, wrapping your arms around him, allowing him to comfort you.
“Yes, the comfortee. You know, the person being comforted, like carrier and carried. I’m the comforter and you’re the comforteed.” He reasoned, making you start laughing.
“Alright, I’ll be the comfortee this time.” you said, relaxing in his hold. Maybe he had a point, maybe you needed to remove your ‘friend’ from your life… and maybe you needed to be the ‘comfortee’ for once.
#one piece#one piece ace#fire fist ace#portgas d ace#ace x reader#fire fist ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#op ace#gn!reader
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Asuka has so many shots this episode in the dark, outside, in places where he's alone and where no one else sees him or would or cares and the illustrations of how alone he is, how much he's struggling by himself without anyone to turn to about his relationship... He can't talk to Shin, Shin just dismisses him. He can't talk to Minato, Minato doesn't give advice. He can't talk to his family, he's not out to them. He can't talk to Shu, Shu isn't talking. So all he has is himself and the darkness and the silence and fear that is filling him up.
Asuka asks to talk (but we're never looking at him when he does, only at Shu, only at Shu who keeps on saying no no no no) and he just desperately wants to communicate but he can't press the way Shin can with Minato, he can't just not give up because Shu isn't like that, because Shu can and will simply push him away and Asuka isn't brave enough to push knowing what he thinks might happen.
Shu getting injured is enough to Asuka to break the barrier between them, to cross the doorway, but he's instantly rebuked and stops again. Asuka simply cannot press hard enough nor should he. Shu is not at the point yet where he could understand or react properly to Asuka's pain and loneliness even in their relationship. He's still figuring out that he even has feelings. And Asuka doesn't know that but he knows that he simply cannot push the way Shin does.
Watching Asuka's heart break in real time is so painful. Up until now, he'd at least been trying to pretend their relationship was okay and that Shu cared about him in return. But this moment is nothing but doubt. He's suddenly unsure and he was never exactly secure so this only makes it worse. He's staring at Shu with pain in his eyes and all that love that he's been trying to keep alive and trying to be happy with what he can get and suddenly there's nothing.
The worst part is knowing why this happened and understanding exactly what Shu is going through and what he's starting to realize and what he's thinking but also knowing that Asuka knows nothing and is just hurt and lost and lonely and aching and so, so afraid.
Asuka has loved Shu for years. He agreed to date him believing that Shu could not love him but would at least try to be in a relationship. He agreed to just try being together and he's been falling apart ever since because that relationship simply isn't enough to fulfill him, especially with their poor communication.
I love that they're falling apart in such a similar but dissimilar way to Shin and Minato. Shin and Minato both love each other and know that but are insecure in their own ways and struggling with coming out and own their affection and being public and all of that. While Asuka and Shu are struggling with the internals of their relationship, with what love looks like and feels like for them and how to talk about anything with each other.
Ongoingly, that is why I love Shin and Shu's friendship. They're so different and their friendship really is powerful.
My entire heart for this moment. Asuka's shock that Shu says he doesn't dislike talking to him? That's some of the most direct affection and positive reaction to their interaction that Shu gives him. Asuka is instantly so happy and disbelieving and Shu doesn't see or understand how desperate he is because he's still thinking about seeing Asuka tell someone that a girl was his girlfriend. He also has no idea how desperate Asuka is for this affection because neither of them can communicate and because he's just starting to realize how he feels for the man he agreed to date.
Asuka is so desperate for anything because he's trying to cling to the idea that just being at his side will be enough as he realizes it isn't and Shu is uncomfortable because he's learning new things about himself each and every day.
Asuka reaches out and Shu panics because he doesn't understand what he feels. But Asuka knows what he's feeling and it's heartbreak.
I mean, can you imagine having your boyfriend say that to you?
Now, again, we know that Shu thinks Asuka is cheating on him and saw him when he was helping a friend. We know that Shu is starting to realize that he loves Asuka a whole lot more than he thought and that he's hurt and unsure about their status. We know what Asuka doesn't know any of that and only sees his relationships falling apart with nothing happening. We know that Asuka was only helping protect a friend when he said they were going out. We know that what's happening here is a complete failure of communication. They don't. How would they know? They're the failure to communicate.
Asuka doesn't push. He sees that Shu is uncomfortable and looking away from him and he steps away. He can't push this issue. He's too afraid of losing what little he has, the tiny things he's managed to piece together, that he cannot risk losing anything bigger by asking for what he truly needs in this relationships.
It's a fatal flaw to what they have now and why they need to change. Why they need to grow. Why all this pain has to happen. Because when people are afraid to ask for what they need in a relationship, that relationship is doomed.
Asuka and Shu need to rebuild their relationship from the ground up, from the love up and that is why Shu needs to realize he loves Aauka and Asuka needs to learn how to express his needs.
And he says that while he's trapped in the open doorway, back on the other side of everything, getting nothing from Shu but his back and his silence and suddenly he's on the outside and he can't even look because what he wants to see has turned away and left him alone. He begs to talk on Line and gets nothing. Shu doesn't turn back to us or to him again. He is closing himself off because what's happening scares him so much and he doesn't have any idea what to do or say or think. He doesn't turn around until he's sure Asuka is gone.
He turns around only when Asuka is entirely gone but he stares at him with that same heartbroken look Asuka was giving him. They're both shattering their hearts on each other because they just can't communicate. Neither one knows what to say so they don't say anything at all.
Asuka is trying to cling to the idea that loving Shu without being loved in return is enough and Shu is just barely starting to realize that what he feels for Asuka is more than he ever imagined he would feel.
And we're back to where we started. Back to Asuka outside and in the dark and alone and aching and clinging to a relationship that isn't giving him anything he needs. But he doesn't know how to let go and he doesn't want to let go, no matter how much he is being hurt.
The ache of it all just overwhelms me. I'm very glad that we see (in a scene I will analyze in a different post) that Shu really didn't realize he was in love with Asuka and is just starting to realize how he feels. Because if he'd know that for longer... it would be a lot worse, honestly.
#minato coin laundry 2#minato's laundromat 2#minato shouji coin laundry 2#bl drama#bl series#asuka x hiiragi#asuka x shu#hiiragi x asuka#shun x asuka#asuka x shun#shu x hanabusa#hanabusa x shu#asianlgbtqdramas#asian lgbtq dramas#japanese drama#japanesebl#bl jdrama#jdrama#japanese bl#bl japan#japanese series#my entire heart to these two
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Dastardly Alien Cheesecake
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: N/A Ship: Gen (Ten & Donna) Additional Tags: Trust, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Poison, Hurt/Comfort, Vomiting, The Doctor & Donna Noble Friendship Wordcount: 3761 Summary:
Donna eats something she’s not supposed to.
Notes:
I'm going to state it outright here so that everyone knows what they're walking into: yes, this is a fic about the doctor sticking his fingers down donna's throat to make her throw up. you have now been warned of the contents and can proceed if you so wish.
The honeymoon period of traveling across time and space is followed by the most intense bout of homesickness that Donna has ever felt, which perhaps isn't saying much when she'd never been that far from home in her life before the Doctor.
To stand on an alien planet and realize just how far away she is from her granddad is a massive step up from missing him when he's only a drive away. Her room in the TARDIS is all hers, and it even fills itself with comforts that Donna forgot to bring, — like a blanket on the heavier side and a little squeezy stress ball that always seems to roll out from under her bed when she's upset — but at the same time, it never forgets what it is, an alien ship flown by an alien man. Something about the corners where the walls meet the floor are never right, never quite what a person, a human, would have built.
She doesn’t tell the Doctor about any of this. She doesn't have to. He must see it in her eyes because he starts pointing out little details on their journeys to her. He can somehow find a little piece of home to show her no matter where they are. They wait at a train station that will take them a few hundred miles below the surface of a planet and laugh at the confusing and colorful layout of the map provided, correcting each other back and forth about which station, exactly, they're even waiting at. Another time, he fiddles with a radio (or, what she assumes is a radio) with the sonic screwdriver until it starts to call out mournfully for Major Tom, singing a signal that got sent out into space thousands of years ago all to be picked up by the two of them. Even among aliens, there are commonalities, there are always reality TV shows that play on screens no one is watching (even if the contestants are a little more green... or blue... or translucent than she's used to) and automatic doors that never work right.
Constants in the universe that she'd be lost without, really. The Doctor knows where to look for them.
(Not for the first time, she wonders if that's because of how many humans he's had to curb the homesickness of, or because while she can look up at the stars and know home is still there for her to return to, even if she has no intention of staying, he can't.
Even Timelords must have had reality TV.)
The one constant that can center her like nothing else is food. Everyone in the universe cooks.
“All your memories," the Doctor had started explaining once, and Donna had learned to measure how long he would ramble about something by his tone alone. This voice was the 'at least twenty minutes before he'll take a breath' one. "Are stored away in your hippocampus, rubbing right against where your brain lights up when something hits your tastebuds, so-" Donna had taken those few moments to weigh her willingness to listen to him babble through their entire meal and decided instead to pick up the sandwich he wasn't eating and shove it in his mouth to shut him up. It had worked pretty well.
That’s why, when the Doctor wanders off into the crowd of the party they’re technically crashing and leaves Donna alone, she doesn’t think twice about approaching the buffet table. She’s not having much luck striking up a conversation, so she might as well find something to pass the time. She doesn’t recognize any of the food — hardly surprising when she’s only the third human in the room, as far as she’s seen.
She walks along the table, taking her time and half-wishing the Doctor would come back to keep her company. Maybe he’d gone off and gotten himself kidnapped. She grinned. Now, that would give her something to do and something to gloat about when the doing’s done.
At the end of the table, just as she begins to despair (and contemplate one of the less appealing looking snacks,) there’s a plate of cheesecake. She blinks at it. It doesn’t squirm, or bleed, or make any weird noises when she gingerly scoops a little onto her plate. It’s just cheesecake. Looks like it, smells like it… She picks up a fork and pokes it one more time before breaking off a piece and putting it in her mouth. Tastes like it. It’s deliciously sweet.
She eats the whole piece far too quickly. She only tenses once, a scolding voice creeping up in the back of her head that sounds too much like her mother, but then, she’s a billion miles and thousands of years away. Donna can have as much cheesecake as she damn well pleases.
With a lighter step, Donna takes another piece to wander with. It’s just as good as the first, but she takes the time to savor this one.
”Donna,” the Doctor seems to appear out of nowhere, the only warning of his approach a familiar touch on her back sliding to grip her shoulder for a moment, “oh, you’re going to love this. They’re-“ He stops. She watches the grin on his face suffocate slowly. “What do you have there?” he asks. She’s been in enough life-or-death situations with him that his excited tone dropping so quickly makes her itch with the need to run.
”Cheesecake,” she answers. The Doctor grimaces.
”Right,” he says. “No. You don’t.” Donna looks down at her plate. “Definitely not cheesecake. Very not edible for humans. How long have you been eating that?” Donna feels her appetite drop out of her and pick up a bindle to hitchhike to someone who needs it more.
”I don’t know?” She looks around, which is useless because no one in the future bothers to keep clocks on the wall. They probably just have their alarms microchipped into their brains. The Doctor takes her plate away. He sets it down, and his attention returns to her immediately. His mouth is pinched as he takes her hand in his and starts checking her fingers for… something.
“How much did you have? Stick out your tongue,” he says.
”What?” But his gaze is deadly serious. Donna sticks out her tongue and fumbles her words around it. “One piece. One and a half.” The Doctor stares very closely at her tongue. He lets out a sigh of relief, which she takes as permission to stop looking like a fool and put her tongue back where it belongs.
”You’re alright. You’ll be alright.” She’s not sure which of them he’s reassuring, but if it’s her, he’s not doing a very good job of it. He puts a hand on her shoulder and starts guiding her through the party. “Come on. We’ll take care of this.”
”Take care of what?”
”Just a minor… major… ‘possibly fatal if we don’t handle it’ case of food poisoning. Why are you putting things in your mouth that don’t belong there?”
“You’re always letting me eat alien food!”
“After I’ve made sure it’s safe!”
“Maybe you should have warned me that death by cake was an option-” She cuts herself off as she frowns at the hallway he’s leading her down now that they’ve escaped the party. “The TARDIS is the other way.”
”I know.” She turns her gaze suspiciously onto him. He dropped the argument far too quickly for him not to be playing it up for her sake.
“So… we’re going to whatever nurse they have here to pick up the antidote?” The Doctor makes a face that’s answer enough.
”Not quite.” He herds her along to a door near the end of the hallway. The automatic door clicks twice at them like it’s annoyed at having to do its job, and then it only opens up halfway, leaving them to have to scoot in sideways one after the other. Donna goes first.
Another constant in the universe: everyone has toilets. Even species who don’t need toilets create toilets, though those were less than useful to Donna and she really didn’t feel like marveling at universal similarities when she needed to go. Bathrooms also only came in two types, through which you could tell how much the janitors (another thing that everyone had) were being paid: clean enough to eat off the floor or so disgusting that Donna would seriously consider just waiting until they got back to the TARDIS.
This one was, thankfully, the former. Donna breathed a sigh of relief before remembering why the Doctor had brought her here in the first place. He spoke before she could ask. “There’s no antidote for this. Luckily, it’s also extremely slow to break down.”
Donna can put two and two together.
”You want me to throw up the cake.” It isn’t a question. The Doctor treats it like one.
”Sooner rather than later, yeah.” He rocks back on his heels. Donna peers around. No stalls here, but there are identifiable toilets, which is more than some places can boast of. “I’ll turn around if you want some privacy.”
”I can’t.”
”Sure you can, just-” He unsubtly mimes sticking his finger down his throat. Donna glowers at him.
“And I’m telling you,” she repeats, “that doesn’t work.”
”How do you know that?” Donna doesn’t answer him. The Doctor grits his teeth together and looks to the side. “Okay. I’ll…” He trails off. “I’ll help?”
”Help?” Donna repeats back to him, incredulous. The Doctor turns back to the automatic door, which has taken its sweet time closing and clicks angrily at him when he moves in range again. He whips up the sonic screwdriver in a flash and quiets the door. The sensor above goes dead, locking it.
“Donna, we have to get it out of you,” he says. “Trust me when I say this is the quickest, least unpleasant way we can do this.” She does trust him. That doesn’t mean she has to like it.
”So what?” She glances down to the screwdriver he’s fiddling with, almost nervously. “Are you going to sonic my insides?”
”What? No!” The screwdriver disappears into one of his pockets. “Look, I can just- I can help.”
”How?” she demands.
“I can make it happen,” he replies. “If you can’t do it yourself.”
Donna fixes him with a look. It clicks.
“You are not sticking your fingers down my throat!” She takes a step back and even sweeps a hand in front of her to protect the distance between them.
”Donna-” he starts, stubbornly, but on equal footing like that, she won’t give any more ground than he will.
”Stick your fingers somewhere more useful!”
”Donna.” He tries again, but there’s no argument in it this time. His voice is quiet and serious. His eyes plead with her to let him help. (He’s doing that on purpose, she knows he is, because no one could unintentionally look so despairing. And it’s still working on her.)
”…It’s really going to kill me if we don’t, isn’t it?” she asks. She doesn’t want to look at it. Can’t. Danger is something they’re supposed to be able to run away from.
”Yes,” he confirms. There’s a reassuring lightness to his voice as he continues, stepping forward and waiting to see if she pulls back again. She doesn’t. “Death by cake. Agonizing. Embarrassing. How do I explain that to your mom and granddad?” Donna snorts. It isn’t anywhere close to a laugh. The Doctor is close enough to touch her now, and he does, hands wrapped around her own and squeezing as she takes a deep breath.
”We’ve done weirder, I guess,” she says.
”I definitely have,” he says. “You’ve got a much nicer mouth than most of the ones I’ve gone poking around in.” He squeezes her hands a second time. She looks down at them, at his fingers firmly wrapped around her, his thumb rubbing the back of her right hand.
“You’d better wash them first,” she says. This close, she can see the Doctor’s relief in the minute drop of his shoulders and the way the lines around his eyes relax into something happier. Her hands still feel warm when he lets them go. She tucks them close to her chest almost instinctively, like she can keep a little of his presence with her.
She has to pick out a toilet. The locked door means privacy, but the lack of stalls still sets some part of her on edge. Lavatory instincts. The desire not to be seen when she’s about to be at her lowest. No one invites a friend in to watch them throw up after having too much to drink at a party. The last time she must have had anyone around for that, she’d barely been in double digits. She wasn’t sure exactly who it had been, but she remembered having her hair held back to keep it clean while she was miserably sick.
She got down on the floor next to the toilet. A moment later, the sink the Doctor was using had switched off, and she could hear him pad over.
“Ready?” he asks as he gets down beside her. She takes a breath.
”No?” She turns to him. “What should I…?”
”Try not to bite me.” Donna’s mouth twitches up for a brief moment.
”No promises.”
The Doctor puts his other hand over hers again, but his fingers rest on her chin first. His touch is very light, very still, waiting to see how she reacts. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. They feel chapped. He waits a moment before moving, lifting his fingers to place two of them against her bottom lip this time.
“Should I stick my tongue out again?” she asks. It’s strange to speak with him touching her lip. The pressure of his fingers doesn’t impede her at all, but it is… there. His fingers bump her upper lip at certain sounds. They stay where they were when she’s finished until he answers.
“That would make it easier.” Donna goes to lick her lips again without thinking, but when she bumps a finger, she sucks her tongue right back into her mouth, slightly mortified. And then she snorts another almost-laugh because she has no idea what else she can do with the feeling. The Doctor smiles. He draws his fingers back to let her open her mouth.
She tries to keep her cool. The Doctor’s finger barely brushes her tongue, and… she bites him. And her tongue. Not hard enough to hurt, but they both hiss in surprise. The Doctor retreats, and she can see the pale indent of her own teeth on the top of his index finger.
”Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Again?” She nods. This time, the Doctor lifts his other hand and places two fingers at the edge of her mouth, firm against her lower canine and lip and holding them open. She breathes, trying to relax. She doesn’t do a very good job of it. This time, when she feels his finger touch her tongue, she doesn’t bite down. Couldn’t now if she tried, but she’s proud of herself for keeping that reflex under control.
Having his finger in her mouth is… odd. He delves in with purpose. She can feel the pad of his finger slide back along her tongue as his knuckles rub against her teeth. She can hear herself breathing around it.
He still goes slow, and so it doesn’t feel like an intrusion as much as it does an exploration she’s submitted to. Minute movements of her tongue feel amplified when they rub against his finger. A moment later and his nail bumps up against her soft palate. His eyes narrow and his finger slides deeper until Donna feels the urge to swallow around it.
”Hm.” He frowns. She did warn him. “You don’t have a very strong gag reflex.”
She tries to respond and resorts to making an insulted noise in the back of her throat when she can’t.
“I can still trigger it. Give me a minute.” She makes a questioning noise as his finger withdraws. He keeps her mouth open with his other hand. His thumb rests along her jaw, grounding her. Gently, he inserts his middle finger next to his index the second time he goes probing in her mouth. She grunts in discomfort.
She wonders if she should close her eyes. She would, except that whenever she tenses or makes a sound, his gaze jumps up to meet hers. It’s comforting to know that they’re stuck in this strangeness together.
Breathing around two fingers feels more difficult. They squish against her tongue as they push back to her throat. Sensation becomes less sure the further back they are, until she can mostly feel a pressure that makes her want to pull away. She clenches the bottom of her dress up in her fists to keep still. The Doctor’s knuckles bump her teeth as he probes around in her throat.
It starts as a tingling sensation. Donna frowns. The Doctor pushes somewhere uncomfortable, and she makes an involuntary noise, her eyes welling up. He looks up to her again, and his sure expression is the only thing that keeps her calm.
He withdraws a little. “Breathe,” he says, and Donna does, once, before he orders, “and stop.”
The constant sound of her own breathing freezes at his word. He pushes his fingers back in.
Donna feels an awful choking sensation, her throat convulsing around some obstruction, and then a wave of nausea has her grabbing at the Doctor’s hand. He yanks his fingers out quickly as she bows forward over the toilet and throws up. Her throat burns.
Donna sucks in a breath when it’s over. It hurts. Her mouth feels sour and disgusting. She blinks to see what mess she’s made, but aside from a splatter that she cringes from on the toilet’s side, she got the rest of it where it was supposed to go.
She inhales again. Her eyes are watery.
The Doctor is holding her hair. She only realizes that as she comes back to herself, but he’s got it all in his hand, the other on her shoulder holding her still. He lets go, smoothing her hair down back into place. Donna shuts her eyes to feel it better.
”Tell me it’s over,” she mutters. The Doctor doesn’t say anything. She forces her eyes open, unformed tears blurring her vision. “Doctor. Please.”
”Just one more time. I promise.” Donna makes a face, squeezing her eyes shut. She spits into the toilet, but that does very little to get rid of the sour taste flooding her mouth.
“That better not be the hand that was in my mouth,” she mumbles. The Doctor stops touching her hair, and she regrets calling attention to it. She forces herself to sit up straight again and opens her mouth. She feels disgusting.
The Doctor touches her cheek this time before he secures her mouth open with his fingers. He doesn’t even look grossed out about touching her after she’s thrown up.
He uses two fingers from the start this time. Donna’s jaw aches slightly. The Doctor’s fingers taste marginally better than the inside of her own mouth right now, and that’s some kind of relief. She’s never had cause to think about it before, but he tastes like… Well, he just tastes like some bloke. How fingers are supposed to taste, like skin and the salt of sweat. Not unpleasant, not enjoyable, and not alien at all.
“Hold your breath,” he says. This time, she can brace herself as each sensation comes. The growing pressure of his fingers touching things he shouldn’t. The catch in her throat. The spasms. He pulls his fingers away. This time, when she lurches forward, she can feel the way the Doctor catches her shoulders on the way, helping her get everything into the toilet. He’s got ahold of her hair a second later, keeping it out of her way as her stomach’s contents are dragged out of her.
Tears streak down her cheeks this time. She sniffs, and even the inside of her nose feels like it’s burning this time. She swallows, a mistake that makes her gag again, and then spits up bile from the back of her throat.
“That’s it,” the Doctor is saying. He’s rubbing her back. It’s the only good thing she can feel right now. “It’s over. You’re safe.” She feels his lips press to her temple as she gasps in air, and then his own relieved exhale. “You’re safe.”
Donna groans miserably.
The Doctor only moves a little to flush the toilet for her. She slumps into him, and he wraps an arm around her, resting his head atop hers.
“Never eating alien food again,” she mutters. “From now on, you’re bringing me back to Earth, and we’re ordering take-out.”
“What about that little place on Muscolane?” he asks.
”…One exception for Muscolane.” Leaning against him like this, she can feel his chuckle as well as hear it.
He helps her to her feet. She wipes at her eyes and her nose as he brings her over to the sink. She doesn’t even bother to question it when he picks up a towel to wash her face off with. Donna stands perfectly still for him as he brushes it over her mouth and chin. She balks a little more at him picking a small paper cup from a dispenser and filling it before holding it for her to drink from. There’s something so tremendously earnest about him doing it that she allows it anyway. She sips slowly, fills her mouth and swirls it around, and then spits it into the sink as the Doctor refills the cup again.
She takes it from him this time and drinks it at her own pace. He starts washing his hands, and her gaze darts down to his sleeve and a very conspicuous stain on it. She should feel embarrassed about that, but she’s too worn out for it. Besides, he knew what he was getting into.
Someone rudely bangs on the door the Doctor locked. Or broke. Those words usually mean the same thing with him. The Doctor sneaks a glance at her, and when the pounding comes again, followed by demands to be let in, they both have to choke down giggles.
“Back to the TARDIS?” he asks.
To answer, she takes his hand.
(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)
#fanfiction#1001-5000#teen and up audiences#doctor who#genfic#the doctor & donna#ten & donna#the doctor#tenth doctor#donna noble#h/c#vomiting
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hey ocean!!! :-) for the love your fandom ask game, let's try 14, 16 and 25!! ✨
Hey Rin! Thanks for the ask ❤️ you picked some good questions
#14: the ship that always makes you smile
Hmm. I wonder. Yknow.. I can't seem to recall any that would.
Alright, seriously, there has not been another ship like rinharu. Honestly, I struggle to put it into words since it's mostly feelings.
This pairing altered my brain chemistry and rewired me. Literally defined my taste when it comes to ship. If it reminds me of rinharu, there is a high chance i'll ship it. It's a ship that's got it all. Just the dynamic is so addicting and fun and thrilling. There is not one moment when they're together that is not overloaded with feeling. They play off of each other so well. They're both opposites, but also more similar than they realize. They have fantastic chemistry, and they are both so passionate, but they can also be pretty soft with each other too. Their moments make the show. I mean, they are the "core-axis" of free! After all.
From the very beginning of their story together, it's always been so entertaining. I loved seeing how their relationship started, grew, and evolved. It was love at first sight (or I guess you could say it was actually love at first swim). Rin's determination was unwavering, and he kept trying until he finally smashed his way through Haru's walls and eventually won him over with his charm, all while being absolutely enamored by Haru himself. And he truly did shake up Haru's entire world. Haru was so sure the only thing he needed was to feel the water. Then, in comes this smiley and annoyingly persistent kid and shows him a sight he's never seen before, and makes him feel so many funny feelings.
They're both so taken with one another, even if they don't want to admit it. I love how Rin gushes about Haru at any chance he gets, and how Haru is constantly thinking about Rin whenever they're apart. And i mean, gosh he quit swimming because he thought he hurt Rin. He had that much of an impact on Haru. They both drive each other forward, improve one another, and becomes their best selves together. Their relationship certainly wasn't without its bumps along the way, but i think that just makes it more interesting.
Seriously, when it comes to these two, they could be doing anything, and they would still have me smiling. I will treasure them forever.
#16: a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate
Not sure if some of these really count as "tiny", but:
● I just genuinely love that whenever Haru has flashbacks of his childhood moments with Rin, the first thing he remembers/thinks about is his smile, and the scene is always tinted pink with cherry blossoms.
● Rin's friendship with Nagisa. He pretends to be aggravated by him, but he's got quite the soft spot for him too.
● How perceptive Nagisa truly is. He notices the small things about his friends and their behaviors. It's so sweet
● Haru's love for weird looking creatures, like northern stoplight loose-jaw kun. He would have loved sacabambaspis.
● Haru's hobby of wood carving. I would love one of his handcrafted iwatobi chan charms.
● Also one I learned about recently: Haru actually has double-jointed knees!
#25: a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom spaces
Fandom, as fun as it is, unfortunately has its rotten side. You'll inevitably come across pointless discourse of any kind during your time in it. The best thing you can do is honestly just avoid engaging with it. Don't ruin your own happiness by starting arguments with people who simply won't listen. If they're constantly popping up on your feed, simply block them and keep enjoying your side of the fandom. Constantly being met with people being destructively negative about the things you enjoy will do nothing except bring you down. It is so much nicer to just be able to enjoy things. You don't have anything to prove to anyone, and you don't need to justify yourself for liking a certain character or a ship. Just post what you want in your own circle. Be free!
(That being said, there are actually interesting discussions one can have with people who are actually willing to listen and debate properly, and those can be good experiences too. I'm just talking about discourse like ship wars or arguments like: Rin Matsuoka is a toxic character, and you're problematic if you like him!!1!!11! and such)
[From the "love your fandom" ask game]
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finished s1 of the reboot a few days ago, so as promised here are my general thoughts (aka rambles) abt it!! (note, these are just my ops)
rate: 8/10!!! i gen love how the atmosphere was similar to that of tdi, which has been a rarity to come across for the other gens. the characters here actually interacted with each other outside of their teams and even just outside of their stereotypical characterizations! it felt like they were teens and not cardboard cutouts placed in a competition. it felt authentic
HOWEVER, i did dock points off bc while the reboot felt reminiscent to tdi, it leaned heavily more as a...competition-based dynamic?? like with tdi, the campers were just teens too, like they talked abt things that didn't just reolve around td. they were friends, they joked around, they teased each other, they snuck around and broke rules for the heck of it. it felt like they were actually staying there for the summer, nothing felt too rushed. tdi balanced competition with life outside of it for the characters. the reboot tried to do that, i feel like, but it sort of fell short. the environment was perfect, it was just the attitudes of the characters that didn't fit. everything seemed to be moving too quickly (tho that could be bc of the 13 eps count); no 'non-elimination' eps, no surprise attack eps, etc, and the characters interacted in an outside environment mostly for alliances and betrayals, not just bc they want to talk--and the few times they did, it was cut short for the competition
RAJBOW!!! they were sooo adorable and healthy!!! bowie catapulting himself to save raj!! the kiss!! but what i most loved was bowie straight-up telling raj that he doesn't want to date him during the show bc he's worried he'll hurt raj, and that after the show they can--AND that raj took it in stride, didn't get offended or took it personally! that kind of stuff is hard to come abt with td couples! im so glad that the first td gay couple was also one of the few healthy td couples! and them gushing abt the other in the confessionals??? adorable!
WAYNE AND RAJ!!! their friendship was so amazing!! wayne being all supportive of raj being gay, him being so happy when he saw raj and bowie kiss, and that confessional when he wondered if raj thought he wouldn't be and was horrified?? oh my god 😭 also him hinting to raj that he'd be supportive of him throughout that entire episode and they're literally falling down a cliff when raj's like "i gotta tell you smth" and wayne's immediately like "im listening" as they're falling to potential death, like hello??? they're so wholesome hfjdfhjfdkh and how they have each other's backs? when raj was getting attacked by that bird-thingie and wayne's like Ticked Off (and then they get their asses kicked) hdhfjjd they deserve sm they're literally a power duo
look. i adore priya winning the million as much as the next person, BUT i also think it'd be great for her character arc to not, you feel?? like maybe that'll help her realize or she'll realize along the way what her parents had been doing to her and how Concerning that was, and realize that just being on total drama is more than enough and not take it personally that she didn't win. i love priya tho she's fucking iconic like she was soooo good, and she did deserve that win regardless
props and kudos to that one chazee fic that got me shipping chazee without hesitation after reading it. and to ep5 for reinforcing my love for the ship, that was the good shit
bowie and julia's rivalry >>>
mk and julia >>>
damien!!! my guy!!! i love him!!!! he absolutely rocked ep5, also he was so real the entire time he was on there with how concerned he was abt everything 😭
episode 5 how i despise you sm...(i already wrote a separate post abt it so i wont rehash it again here. imma just say the only good things in it were rajbow, chazee moments, and damien). like however bad i thought it would be, it was so much worse
millie....well, she had me in the first half ngl, i was pretty iffy abt her. i thought her and priya's friendship was pretty cute tho, and how, in the second half of the season, she got excited to have a friend was v adorable, i partially changed my mind abt her post-merge. i like her, but i don't love her, y'feel? although i will say her redemption arc was solid, i loved how she and priya mended their friendship
zee, what a guy (he/they pronouns for them imo 💪). him going "we're an awesome team and we're voting YOU off chris!!" like it was the bestest idea ever. i wish, dude, i wish 😭 (and the fact that nobody was even planning on voting zee off until they put the red arrow over them, and bowie was like "can i revote?" had me losing it. the whole episode i was facepalming at zee, im sorry dude but seriously? just stick to not getting ideas, it'll be good for you 😭)
chase is like shippers when their fav ship isn’t canon so they pick apart every scene with the characters and romantically code it except he does it to (and abt) emma
okay don't get me wrong, julia was a great character and villain. i do understand where the writers came from making her win all those challenges to hype her up as this undefeatable force (which bowie does mention at one point) and how she had to win immunity to make it as far as she did--i get it, okay? but also...i thought it was kiiiind of op??? idk esp during the honey challenge, i thought it would have been classic td fashion to have chase win immunity when he got shot up by that geyser, like man didn't even try but he won immunity that would've been funny. or emma when she took the shortcut?? that'd make so much sense y'know? idk it felt like other characters were downplayed to boost julia up? like the winner of that challenge should have gone to emma or chase imo and not bowie or julia, like i gen was expecting while they were fighting for someone else to ring the bell ngl
i so get why ppl love the primary colors trio now (in a both platonic and romantic sense) they're such a mess
same with prillie, they're so!!!
chemma...oh god chemma. i hate their kissy-kissy honeymoon phase after emma forgave chase, it felt too similar to how gidgette was always all over each other (thank goodness for chemma it was mostly off-screen). anyway the only version of chemma i found entertaining was their chaotic dynamic in the beginning??? i get where fresh was coming from here too abt the realism of on/off relationships and how toxic they can be, but personally i like both characters when they're separate and she wants him dead while he's painfully oblivious. (i feel like im in the majority with this lmao)
emma ily but don't go back to chase goddammit! i know she thought it was bc he threw the challenge for her, and that in s2 they break up (again), but damn when he kept listing all the times he was 'selfless' i was like good god stop like there's no way it could get worse and then it did 😭 you deserve better emma
chase...i have many thoughts abt him, which i will write in a separate post. i remember already posting an analysis abt him like a year ago which i believe still stands imo with the addition of a couple more things. long story short i felt like personally some of his character was underutilized by the show to place him as a 'comic relief character whose pain is used for humor' which is a trend td is notorious for esp for male characters who are either dumbed down and/or infatuated (dave, chase, kind of tyler, cody, prob more i cannot remember rn). i feel like although he made it as far as he did--which, given what he does, im not surprised by--certain attributes abt him that were only mentioned (like the obvious: that he's an influencer who does crazy dares similar to the kind of stuff td does) could have been used to further enhance his character in the competition so ppl actually notice (I'll go into more detail abt it in the separate post). HOWEVER, i do like both chase and emma as characters (not as a ship), which may surprise some ppl considering chase seems to be widely despised in the fandom, but then again look at my track record (aka dave being one of my favs). they're both not fav tier (yet), but i like them. chase is a guy with a terrible personality, yes, but imo that just makes him interesting bc why is he this way, im ready to dissect him like a frog 😭
seeing shawn's cardboard cutout in axel's introduction only solidified my theory of him being a mentor-type figure to her for her apocalypse training. bc, as I've def said before in a prev post, having a cardboard cutout of himself for her to fight is exactly the kind of thing he'd do to toughen her up (smth smth survival is first priority over emotions and connections)
i think this may be the one season in which i actually like the entire cast while first-time-watching! the villains were fun to watch! chase was fun to watch! and yes, even ripper wasn't so bad--a year ago, i didn't rlly like him bc i'd only watched the first four eps but this time he grew on me lmao he's still a shitbag in s1 but he's kinda amusing i guess???
(also: that one nichelle and axel moment in the finale still scratches an itch in my brain, you can pry nichaxel from my cold, dead hands, i still love them 😭)
#if i forgot anything ill just make posts for them when i remember lmao#this already feels long and rambly enough anyway 💀#td 2023#noahtally-famous#kit stuff#total drama 2023#total drama reboot#total drama
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bin can handle it!! (except for the one time it cant) (ttc fan fanfic)
heads up: this work have angst, attempted murder, attempted suicide, actual suicide, and blood please dont read if it triggers you <3 also this is a 5+1 things (>v0) also i know bin should have die immediately but can u rlly blame a guy for wanting to romanticize his death? THIS IS HOW I COPE WITH MY DEATH U CANT TELL SOMEONE HOW TO GRIEF ESPICALLY WHEN THEY'RE GRIEFING THEMSELVES WAAAAAAA
"i can handle it!!"
"its doable!!"
"fuck it we balllll"
--
1.
Bin wipes the tear off his face, his dad had already stop banging on the door forever ago, probably off watching sport or something, Bin couldn't stop crying, whenever he thought he had calm down, another wave of sadness wash over him and he's wet again.
His mom sit across the mattress, Bin didn't want to talk to her, she'll say its his fault.
And maybe it was.
His dad isn't entirely at fault here. He's trying his best, Bin did too, but he guess it wasn't enough, his dad wouldn't chase him up here if it did, threatening to kill him and all that.
Even when his mom bought a bunch of books on parenting, he's the only one who even reads them, he didn't even plan on having kids, he was just bored.
But that's okay, so what if his dad tried to kill him and his mom was rarely ever there? that's okay!! Bin can handle a bit of loneliness, he have friends!! And his cousin sometime too!! Bin can manage this.
He stand up and unlock the door, repeating "I'm sorry, ba" like a mantra in his head.
2.
The four of them have been sticking together like glue in the entirety of elementary school.
Bin, Puffball Keychain, Baggy and Fluffy Carpet, that is.
They made craft together, they played the same game, Bin and Carpet raves over Melanie Martinez, hanging out in the school cafeteria afterschool, making up their own version of stories and songs they find in textbooks, the usual.
Bin thought it'll stay that way when they go to middle school.
It didn't.
For Carpet, they went to a different school, didn't have a choice.
For Puffball Keychain, too much had happen, didn't want to remember.
For Baggy, it's complicated, didn't know who we are.
That night, Bin cried and wept.
"Your personality is annoying, if you won't change, no one would want to be friend with you"
"I agree with her, sorry"
All those god damn EIGHT YEARS meant NOTHING to them, Pk have been there since 1st grade, sure, she abandon fem once in 2nd grade to hang out with Carpet and Baggy but that's seven years ago.
And Baggy were the nicest one, the kind one, and even she get tired of Bin, fey miss going to her house, they would play together with her cousin.
Now they barely look at each other.
And Bin was lonely.
But that's alright, Bin can still make new friends!! It's not the end of the world!! Fey can always start a new!! Bin can get through this.
And Bin met a new friend, Bin play more of the therapist role then best friends usually but that was fine, if it keep this friendship afloat, fey will do anything.
3.
Bin cried in class, she couldn't handle the bullying, the teasing, the isolation, she was EIGHT for frog's sake!! Would it kill them to be nice to her? She couldn't stop crying, through her wet glances, she can see her bullies staring back at her, and then one them spoke.
"Crocodile tears"
Bin feel something broke, she isn't sure what but she realized.
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there and if she want to survive, she's gonna need some mask and a tough persona. Bin can get use to this.
After years of kids leaving and joining the class, Bin found herself enjoy talking to a few kids, they still treat her differently but as long as they tolerate her, it was enough.
4.
Bin feel ugly, a bit on physical but mostly mentally, it didn't like when people commented on it's efforts.
"Your hair look like a bird nest, when was the last time you brush it?" they'll touch its hair without its consent and try to brush it, its hurts like its scalp is going to be ripped out in any minutes.
"Your a female, why are your hand writing worse than all the boys?" it was trying its best, it put so much time writing and making it look legible, and this is the thanks it get? Tch, figures.
"..bla bla bla..."
It didn't want to change, it didn't like how they look at it, there's always something that separate it form other people, that wall have been there since forever. No one needed it, no one wanted it.
It didn't want itself either.
It never asked to be here, it never looked forward to it's existent. But Bin fix this.
Over years it thinks, Bin start to love parts of itself that it had previously hate, Bin start to feel a bit better. But what is it even-?
5.
Bin couldn't tell, if the kid died from bashing their head or the stab wound. Either way they're laying on the kitchen floor, looking at the lights above, not from heaven-they just have a long lightbulb in their kitchen.
They roll their head back to look at their other self, Bin immediately look away, after staring for a second or two, their gaze went back to the lights.
Bin walk to the chair and turn on the tv.
Leaving the kid to bleed out and die.
Leaving Bin to bleed out and die.
A year later, a soaking wet Bin was walking to it's bedroom, it was it's cousin birthday today, but its not time to eat yet. It walk in and its eye turn left.
Bin found the same kid with the fan's string tied around their neck.
They couldn't even get a proper rope.
Bin couldn't even get a proper rope.
"We gotta stop meeting like this"
"..."
The kid stood up and walk away, leaving Bin alone in it's bedroom
--
1.
With a thud, Bin fall down on the cold hard floor in Galaxy Journal's lab.
He wasn't the best person, he had done a lot of wrongs, he had done a lot of rights too, maybe he'll end up in purgatory, or are we all clotted in the same afterlife? like Journal said, or will he be reincarnated? or maybe there's nothing after death at all.
He doesn't know, and that scare him a little.
A part of her still hopes, a part of her still hope that maybe, just maybe, Journal would burst through that door any second now and fix her up. Or if it's too late, she still hopes that someone-anyone! would kick down that dammed door and hold her, hold her tight.
Her death would have looked cuter in someone's arm.
She want to be held, one last time.
The door didn't even budge.
So (So)
Instead (Instead)
It's (It's)
Gonna (Gonna)
Die (Die)
As (As)
Lonely (Lonely)
As (As)
It (It)
Felt (Felt)
Last (Right)
Night (Now)
But at least Journal's lab have a very nice ceiling.
And the maggots will surely enjoy my rotten flesh.
Classic Bin, always so silly, but i fear your positivity will not save you this time.
Bin took it's last breath in the dark lab, alone.
Becoming as cold as the blood-covered floor below it.
The cassette tape sits on the table, it contain words contradicting what Bin have said the night before.
And the lab fell silent once more.
Bin might have ended it all right then and there.
But the Earth will keep on spinning.
And tomorrow will be a brand new day.
"Remember Me".
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Haiiii this is the end, i hope u enjoy it!! htis is my first fic so plz go easy on me,,,<3 thanks for reading :3
Also all the things that happen to bin may or may not actually happen irl hehe-
words count: 1,244
#the traumatized cup#ttc#ttc bin#angst#fanfic#trashbins-art#tw attempted murder#tw suicide#tw blood#tw death#5+1 things#5 + 1 fic#5+1 times#5 time bin can handle it and one time it couldn't
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hello it is the tangled fan back for more! I was thinking about how underrated cass and eugene's friendship is.
I think they understand each other more than they like to admit which is why they tend to butt heads. they both need to prove themselves at the castle and are very sure of themselves. I think eugene is annoying on purpose but he doesn't realize how much it actually hurts cass that he rose in importance so much compared to her stuck where she is. and cass doesn't understand how eugene has been living on the streets and this is really important for him. so they have to learn from each other, have to understand where the other person is coming from. and when things get dangerous, they do respect each other's strength and quick thinking and can work together.
I think part of why cass doesn't like eugene is because she was planning on catching flynn rider to prove to her dad that she's strong enough to fight. who better to catch than the man her dad hates the most, right? then his crimes get absolved and he's just hanging out in the castle and she resents him for taking her chance to prove herself. he got what she has been looking for her whole life. lots of potential character development with learning to let go of the past.
when cass betrays them there should've been some focus on how eugene is hurt because cass throws their progress back in his face. he wants to trust her but he just can't, he didn't grow up trusting people easily. he has to make an effort to forgive her, especially after seeing rapunzel so distraught and being mad on her behalf.
I think they shouldn't be 100% buddy-buddy like there should still be some rivalry and old grudges but hey that's life! also they're both dating rapunzel so they have to deal with each other or else the polycule falls apart
(sorry for the mini character study I just had to share this with someone who understands)
!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!! cass & eugene have such a fun dynamic since theyre both similar in personality but like exact opposite in everything else
like at first it makes soooo much sense that cass hates eugene bc not only is he annoying and will never go away. he also is there and sort of in charge of her (well. not necessarily "in charge" but hes the princess's boyfriend so he ends up getting some clout) just because he stumbled on what the entire kingdom had been looking for for 18 years, meanwhile she had been trying her whole life just to be taken seriously so obviously shes gonna be pissed off when he can come in and just do whatever he wants. not to mention he joined the guard just because he had nothing else to do even though cass had been trying to for years !!! and i looooooove your idea about her plan to catch flynn rider bc YES she would want that !!!!!!!!! she wants to do something to make her dad pay attention to her so catching the criminal is the best way to go. but then said criminal gets all his crimes pardoned and is also making her life a living hell just by existing. she should get to kill him
for eugene... i think he has less of a reason to dislike her other than that she was probably mean to him first and it just kinda kept spiraling (so funny. this is ideal) but also to him i feel like cass kinda represented everyone else in the kingdom in a way? like just because he brought rapunzel home hes not just suddenly Everyones Favorite Person so cass constantly being like "kys and leave my house" is sort of. voicing what everyone else is thinking.
and THEN theres the fact that their relationship goes from "bickering because they hate each other -> bickering like siblings -> uh oh now shes trying to kill them!" i just. ough. they liked each other and they were FRIENDS!! so it had to have been hard for him to see. all that. i dont think cass really thought about him at all bc she was focused on rapunzel BUT for eugene.... like you said he doesnt trust easily! so putting his trust in someone and having it broken HURTS. however. i honestly think that he would forgive her pretty easily afterwards. he loves giving people second chances given everything that happened to him so he would not have a problem forgiving her
actually side tangent there. sometimes i see people saying that its out of character for eugene to forgive cass in the finale but um. no. look at every single person hes friends with. i dont think hes drawing the line at cass's mommy issues. "but she tried to kill rapunzel!" ok?? so did varian but he and eugene still made an amber bazooka together after it happened. after she died saving the world i think he'd be fine with her
anyways all that to say. i agree! i love their friendship! i love them butting heads over the stupidest shit ever and i love both of them going out of their way to insult each other. sometimes i think about cass calling him "fitzherbjerk" and eugene seeing a dead snake fall out of the sky and going "friend of yours?" and. yeah. i just love them :')
#can i be honest.#it is so hard for me to read their early dynamic as anything but 'cass has a repressed crush on raps so she hates her bf'#eugene is rapunzel's jakey#wow... cass and rapunzel are just like laura and beth from odd girl out-- *gunshots*#tangled
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I will not shut up about Michael and Jake being best friends like practically brothers okay I know it's not canon but I do not care in my head it's real OKAY like I imagine them being friends before the whole squip fiasco in a very casual way - during Jake's study hall Michael has a math class he hates and always skips and they smoke weed out on the bleachers together for an hour. They almost never talk but there's a mutual understanding there, a silent companionship.
Then after the play and everything there's a brief moment before Jake finds out the details - why Rich set the fire, the squip, how he was being used by two of his friends - where Michael can prepare him for the damage he's about to experience. Michael lost his best friend to this terrible thing and Jake's about to realize he did too, but Michael has a couple days to enforce this "it's going to be okay, you're worth more than him, there are people here to support you" mindset before it all goes down. He can save him from the worst of the hurt.
Then after that, when Jake manages to rebuild his relationship with Rich and starts to fall in love all over, and is absolutely terrified because all he had was his image - perfect, lovable, straight - and no one could take that from him, but now he's in love? With a boy? He can't do this. And Michael spent the whole musical being inferior to Jake in the eyes of Jeremy, but suddenly Jake is showing up at Michael's house in tears in the middle of the night begging for guidance and help and Michael realizes no, he's not inferior to Jake. There's no comparison between him and Jake - they're just friends. It's not 'Jake the golden boy' and 'Michael the loser' it's just 'Jake and Michael' and whatever imaginary social hierarchy existed between them doesn't matter because Michael will do anything to protect Jake because, as he's slowly realizing, no one else will.
And as an extension to that, because I am not fucking DONE, Jake genuinely admires Michael. Like where Jeremy slowly began to resent Michael's nerdy interests, Jake is so used to shallow conversations and sex that when he goes over to Michael's house and instead of just getting drunk and fucking he gets to hear about some nerdy video game, he's relieved and feels safe. And Jake, as privileged as he is, doesn't even understand the concept of bullying or the social hierarchy, so even when people whisper, he stands by Michael's side. Like where Jeremy was willing to give up Michael for popularity, Jake is willing to learn to give up popularity for Michael. He learns not to care what people think when he walks down the hallway holding hands with Rich. Michael teaches him. And to be valued in such a way - to be admired rather than put down - is foreign to Michael even in his relationship with Jeremy. Like yeah, Michael was happy. He was free and confident in himself. He was okay being nothing. But Jake suddenly makes him aware that he was never nothing, that he didn't need to be okay with being a loser because, in Jake's eyes, he wasn't. He was just Michael. And Jake sees that - he sees Michael growing more confident in himself, more willing to set boundaries and stand up for himself rather than just be berated. And he's so happy to see Michael happy, so happy to have found this weird version of family after his was taken from him.
Their friendship comes out of nowhere, and everyone's confused when they suddenly appear as best friends. Why did Jake ask for Michael when Chloe found him crying on the floor? Why is Jake the first to offer to go with Michael to weird conventions and concerts? When did they have time to form such a deep friendship? But they're both so happy, and they learn so much from each other, that everyone decides to leave it alone and just let them be.
I ship Rich and Jake so hard romantically, hence me writing so much fanfiction about them, but I swear if someone asked me to I could write an entire novel about Jake and Michael learning to love each other and themselves okay
#michael mell#most of my thoughts about michael are in direct relation to jake#most thoughts i have about any character are directly related to jake#jake dillinger#be more chill#does this count as a character analysis?#maybe.#i have a sinking feeling a lot of people are gonna disagree with me#or not i don't know this fandom well i come on tumblr like five minutes a day to respond to my friends and boost their posts who am i kiddi
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Can we just appreciate how Cut by The Cure is so (will) byler coded
If only you'd never speak to me The way that you do If only you'd never speak like that
Will may not take every single thing into consideration, but there is a time when he has to realize that Mike doesn't treat everyone the way he treats Will. There's a certain gentleness to him that Will just can't deny.
It's like listening to A breaking heart, falling sky Fire go out and friendship die
The Will Voice has always been something special. Maybe Mike's softness and care is the reason why Will fell in love with him in the first place. But it hurts, oh god does it hurt.
I wish you felt the way that I still do The way that I still do
After moving to Lenora, Will had tried to move on from Mike. The lack of letters, lack of calls, lack of communication from Mike was such an obvious sign. It was the world telling Will to move on, but he still found himself making the painting, telling Mike what he wanted to hear by slapping El's name over his own feelings.
If only you'd never look at me The way that you do If only you'd never look like that
And Will, he's not oblivious as everyone thinks. Sure, he doesn't pick up on everything, but he notices the way Mike looks at him. Like he has something he want to say, but he just can't figure out the words. It hurts. They used to be best friends. They used to know everything about each other. Being around each other used to be easy.
When I look at you I see face like stone, eyes of ice Mouth so sweetly telling lies
Things aren't easy anymore. Will's starting to realize that. Because the way Mike looks at him, the thoughts Will is supposed to able to decipher, are entirely too hard to begin to grasp. But it's as if Mike doesn't realize this. He says again and again how they're back to being best friends, how everything is back to normal.
I wish you felt the way that I still do The way that I still do
At least they're friends again. That's all Will could ask for and more. But being friends, having this close proximity it leaves him wanting more. Leaves him to wish for what he knows he'll never get.
But you don't You don't feel anymore You don't care anymore It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone
They may be friends again, but it's nothing like what they used to be. There's secrets now. Uncomfortable silences. Shared looks that they just can't understand.
If only you'd never pull from me The way that you do If only you'd never pull like that
And Mike is always pulling, grasping, reaching out. He brings Will in again, making inside jokes and throwing an arm over his shoulders and acting just like they had before the summer of 85.
When I'm with you I feel hopeless hands helplessly Pulling you back close to me
Will would like to say that he's learned from his past mistakes. He would like to say that he doesn't cling to Mike as much as he used to. Will would like to say that he doesn't feel himself falling for Mike all over again, rediscovering the emotions that he had buried deep inside himself.
I wish you felt the way that I still do The way that I still do
But that would be a lie. The world is ending, crumbling around them, and Will still finds himself clinging his best friend. Loving him like it's the only thing he's ever known.
But you don't You don't feel anymore You don't care anymore It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone
And Will knows that it's a fruitless effort. Mike will never want him the way he wants Mike. Reality hits him too hard time and time again, showing him just how Mike really feels. How things grow tense when they become to honest, thing get awkward when they get too close.
If only you'd ever speak to me The way you once did Look at me the way you once did Pull to me the way you once did
Ignoring their past is easier said than done. When Will makes eye contact with Mike for the first time in days, there's no softness there. There's no gentle care. It's fear. Mike is afraid. Too afraid to talk to him. Too afraid to look at him. Will wishes he knew what Mike was afraid of...
But you don't You don't feel anymore You don't care anymore It's all gone, it's all...
...but Mike is quiet again. Back to the same awkward silences that had been there just after Lenora. Back to the silences filled with all the things they couldn't say, all the thoughts they couldn't understand. And Will wishes he understood. He wishes he knew how to make it better.
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Knowing the Routine
They didn't hide secrets from each other. They didn't hide anything.
─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───
Anakin walked, hood up as he made his way down the moonlit cooridor of the temple. He walked slowly, the whole 123 steps, one minute and 23 seconds, an extra ten if he tripped on the loose stone. He did not trip. The moon shone on 3/4 of the door, as it did on a clear night. If it was cloudy, no light would shine on the door. For Obi-Wan's room was almost always on the shadow. When the light shone on it, from the sun or moons, it was only under certain circumstances, like a clear sky at 1:32 AM. 1:34 now that Anakin had pondered. Usually those two minutes were because Anakin felt an anxiety about disturbing Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan was always asleep when Anakin came in. He didn't take off his hood, he walked over and sat on the floor by Obi-Wan and his bedside. "Master." Anakin whispered, looking up at Obi-Wan's sleeping face. "Master, can I open the blinds?" He asked in the same whisper.
"Mmm-" Obi-Wan heard Anakin's voice but he couldn't respond for he was still lost in sleep. When he opened his eyes, he saw the blurriness of his padawan and his heart called him to wake. "Anakin, my padawan?"
"Can I open the blinds?" Anakin whispered, an eagerness in his voice, the eagerness of his still young heart. "Master, let me open them, please."
"Alright Anakin, yes," Obi-Wan sat up, all his tiredness gone in an instant. Over the years, Obi-Wan didn't respond to anything in the way he responded to Anakin. It was only the voice of his padawan that called him to action with an urgency like no other. "Is something wrong?"
"No, no," Anakin opened the blinds and had a childish smile on his face. He walked back over and sat on the bed, "I just think..." Anakin drew his knees to his chest, wanting to hide away, "I think I just gotta sit." Anakin never needed a reason to seek comfort, this was something Obi-Wan taught Anakin, that he never needed a reason to be loved.
Obi-Wan nodded, sinking back into his bed, being put at ease since Anakin was. Obi-Wan laid back down, his eyes heavy again. "If you're okay?-"
"Yeah, it's okay if you went to sleep again." Anakin whispered, silently wishing Obi-Wan didn't have to ask to go to sleep for he'd taught Anakin the opposite. Obi-Wan didn't follow his own teachings, teachings that he sought so hard for Anakin to understand. Teachings of love.
Constantly, Obi-Wan told Anakin he never had to ask for things he'd considered 'the bare minimum.' But here Obi-Wan was, doing the opposite. Obi-Wan wouldn't be himself without doing the absolute. Always asking to live. Anakin knew it best to just give Obi-Wan permission, for it'd ease some part of his mind. Anakin didn't ask but sometimes he wished he was brave enough to. Instead, he let Obi-Wan go to sleep. He tuned in, sensing his master drift to sleep, trying to sense something more. But, just as he did everytime he did this, he never found the answer, for he always fell asleep.
Anakin and Obi-Wan didn't hide secrets from each other. Which was why Anakin opened the blinds, so that right now wasn't a secret. Obi-Wan was technically here too, so with the moon peeking in and Obi-Wan present but asleep, this wasn't a secret, was it? That was the only way Anakin felt okay, they didn't hide secrets from each other, and luckily, this wasn't a secret.
Anakin sensed how deep a slumber his master was in before standing up. He pulled up the blankets so Obi-Wan wouldn't catch a chill. Anakin needed him to stay asleep. Anakin stood up, his barefeet touched the cold floor, he took a silent step, making way to Obi-Wan's dresser and opening it with the force. Anakin dug around, but he didn't find it. The next drawer, nothing, and the next, and the next, he always found nothing. He opened the closet, a lot of robes and not a lot of anything else. There was literally nothing. Anakin let out a sigh, "Come on Obi, where is it?"
Anakin turned around and saw his master still soundly asleep. "You butt hole, you knew I'd do this, didn't you?" Anakin huffed in his frustration.
"Damn right I did, you little shit-"
Anakin rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he walked back to the bed and sat down, "I wanna know, Obi-Wan!"
"And you will, in six hours, to be exact-" Obi-Wan sat up, letting out a yawn.
"But it's passed midnight! It's technically my birthday already!" Anakin continued to complain, "Also, side note, why do your socks have embroidered smiley faces on them?"
"Side note, why were you looking in my sock drawer?"
"I side noted first-"
"Nuh uh,"
"Yuh huh,"
"Nuh uh-"
"Yuh huh-"
─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───
#see I had something serious going on there and it derailed so fast there at the end#the trick is to start with angst#and to either end with more angst#or to do shit like this#this is 90% of their conversations#and you can't convince me other wise#their entire friendship is them realizing they're hurting each other and there's nothing they can do#and then being complete shits to each other#I'm a damn professional#star wars#tcw#sw#Anakin Skywalker#Obi-Wan#if you thought it was gonna be serious angst#sorry#Anakin#obi-wan kenobi
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While I can see why Cassie and Rachel could be individually read as lesbians (though Rachel's case is a bit more of a stretch in my opinion), I really cannot conceive them as a ship. In fact, if you look at their personalities, I think they are one of the most incompatible duos in the Animorphs, to the point that I find it hard to see how they could even be good friends, let alone being into each other. Since I have seen you writing that you also ship them, I would like like to hear your opinion... Could you share any examples that hint to romantic feelings /attraction between the two?
I would love to do that!
first off I want to say that I ship it kind of in this like. "I believe there was mutual attraction, but (1. neither of them really realized it was romantic (2. both of them are genuinely happy with the choices they've made" way - I don't think they'd dump the boys and hook up. I also think they've got serious ideological differences that would make a long-term relationship basically impossible.
but imo they love one another, in a C->R, R->C kind of way - yearning without resolution, and without feeling like they're incomplete - if anything they're wondering about another life.
I'm sticking to their POVs except in two notable cases (books 19 and 53), because that's where we get the most evidence.
Another picture was of Cassie and me riding horses side by side, with Cassie, as usual, looking like she'd spent her entire life in the saddle, and me looking like a total dweeb.
- The Visitor, chapter 5
Rachel is the strongest person I know. It's like nothing ever intimidates her. She's totally fearless, or at least that's how she seems... she's very tall and pretty and blonde.
- The Message, chapter 3
"Why can't I go with Rachel?" I asked. It's not that I don't like Marco. He just grinds my nerves sometimes.
"Because you and Rachel just egg each other on," Jake said.
- The Secret, chapter 4
Marco likes to tease Rachel, calling her Xena: Warrior Princess. And when I'm with her I guess I'm Gabrielle.
- The Unknown, chapter 5
<Cassie!> Rachel cried. <Oh, God, no! Cassie!>
There was the sound of hooves and Ax arrived at a run. Karen looked at him and sneered. "Ah, of course, the Andalite aristh."
<What have you done, Yeerk?> Ax demanded. His tail twitched. <I'll destroy you for this!>
<NO!> Rachel yelled in a blinding rage. <NO! This Yeerk is mine!>
- The Departure, chapter 24
"Cassie was my best friend," she said, gritting her teeth to control the tears. "I'm not going to be the one to call her a fool."
Rachel reached out her hands to take the stiffening, drying chrysalis.
"I'll carry her," she said. "I'll keep her safe."
- The Departure, chapter 25
I'm not beautiful like Rachel.
- The Sickness, chapter 1
<Okay, then. Get started. Make sure Cassie doesn't know.>
<You still don't trust her?> Rachel said angrily.
<She loves us both, Rachel,> I said. <I can't make her part of this. I can't let her know in advance, so, you know, if it happens, if it happens, I don't want her spending the rest of her life wondering if she could have stopped it somehow.>
- The Answer, chapter 15
On top of that:
they acknowledge more than once that they're a bit of an odd couple - most of their early-series character introductions of one another begin with something like 'You wouldn't think we were best friends to look at us' - but reaffirm their friendship
there's not nearly as much innuendo or subtext between them as there is regarding Marco's crush on Jake, but Rachel's tendency to go berserk when Cassie is threatened in the slightest is only rivaled by her tendency to go berserk when Tobias is threatened
the latter half of book 37/The Weakness is a long hurt-comfort fic plot - Cassie is captured because of Rachel's negligence, and Rachel proceeds to steal a private jet, crash it through a skyscraper skylight to get to the Yeerk Pool, and engage in a rescue mission. Both she and Cassie each try to sacrifice themselves for the other, trading off that duty back and forth, and Rachel's love for Cassie comes through strongly
hopefully? that helps? thank you for the ask, I'd been meaning to talk about this
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