#their dynamic actually feels fresh and enjoyable

[epickiya722]

I think about how some people actually hate on Yuji, Nobara and Megumi and get confused because I went into JJK and by episode 3 I adored them.

[futuretimelord-468]

For the ask ship ask game, Thilbo (I wish to understand this ship)

okay omg. there is just so much to say tbh. Thilbo (or Bagginshield or Bilbo/Thorin from the Hobbit) is like currently my number 3 ship of all time. I am obsessed with them and I cannot let them go.

What made me ship them? : When you watch the Hobbit trilogy I really feel that Richard Armitage (Thorin) and Martin Freeman (Bilbo) really took steps to add in subtext for the two. There is just so much there to dig into if you are a 'reading between the lines' enjoyer. Especially after a rewatch now as a full adult there is just so much extra to chew on with how they showed the characters.

I also just really find them adorable together like visually. Theyre the grumpy old man yaoi i love to love and there is so much you can expand on and enjoy in fic/fandom. I really think they are soulmates and it is so fun to analyize their characters.

What are your favorite things about the ship? : I love their character dynamic so much. I am so used to seeing "sunshine character and grumpy character" but both of them are grumpy older men XD. I also love a royalty dynamic as well. Thorin is King Under the Mountain and my favorite happy ending for them is when Bilbo stays in Erebor and becomes Consort Under the Mountain. (We ignore canon in this house, Thorin survived the war and he and Bilbo lived happily ever after)

Another favorite thing with this ship for me is the pleathora of "Culture Shock" "Cultural Misunderstanding" "Courting Customs" type fics. Since Thorin is a Dwarf and Bilbo is a Hobbit. They come from two entirely different races and it is incredibly fun to headcannon what cultural rules/customs are for each and the fanfic sillyness that can occur because of it.

Another, SIZE DIFFERENCE! Dwarves and Hobbits are not alarmingly different in height from what we have seen/know, but dwarves are vastly stockier than hobbits and generally more muscled. I adore this visual difference and it makes for some incredible art/fic.

I could go on, and would be happy to send you more info/supporting documents in DMs if you wish haha. Genuinely I recommend watching the trilogy again with the idea they are falling in love in mind. Richard specifically put in the WORK for Thorin to feel like he was down BAD for Bilbo.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? : This one is a mixed bag. I really dislike "Reshirement". Which is a common situation where Bilbo and Thorin will leave Erebor following the quest and return to the Shire together. Usually with Thorin abdicating his throne to have a simple life in the Shire.

I will admit I like this trope occasionally, especally if it is treated as actual retirement. Meaning that Thorin and Bilbo spend quite a long while ruling Erebor together before they retire to the shire for a peaceful end.

I really dislike it when they leave very soon after the end of the quest and the reclamation of Erebor. I personally feel like that is out of character for Thorin as he had spent around a century dreaming of returning home, and that he fought so hard to reclaim his mountain. It just falls flat more often than not when they leave for the shire right away.

In summary. I love them so much your honor. They're soulmates to me and they should have gotten a happy ending together. (what am i talking about ofc they did haha theyre fine...)

I really recommend giving the movies a fresh watch with the mental image of them being possible in mind.

Thank you for the ask!! 💙💙💙

[alexanderwales]

Game Review: FANTASY LIFE i: The Girl Who Steals Time

This is a bad game, but it's a bad game that I played to completion.

There's a principle in cooking called depth of flavor which is where you use different ingredients and cooking techniques to make something multidimensional. My go-to example of this is chili, where I do my best to create depth of flavor by using multiple forms of the same ingredient: onions get sautéed, but I also add in onion powder, and when the chili is done, some finely diced fresh onion, scallions, or chives as a garnish. These are not exotic ingredients, but by having many different but similar notes, you get something better as an end result.

FANTASY LIFE i: The Girl Who Steals Time has a dogshit title, we'll call it Fantasy Life from here on. But the title isn't the only thing that's dogshit.

The story is awful, mostly because it commits the cardinal sin of being boring, but there are multiple ways in which the story is bad: cardboard characters, nonsense plot, stupid and predictable "twists", and a bunch of irrelevant fetch quests. There are too many characters, and they're all completely forgettable, merely suggesting ways in which they might be interesting. But I don't think you come to Fantasy Life for story elements, probably, even if you're the target audience.

So that leaves us with the gameplay, and I would say that this, too, is actually pretty bad when looked at on a granular level.

The game's main thing is that there are fourteen "life classes" that you swap freely from. Four of these are combat classes, which are all redundant with each other because you don't need more than one, but then there are also gathering classes and crafting classes, which is what you'll spend most of the game on. Each of these is incredibly shallow and there's a great deal of repetition among them all.

Mining and chopping, for example, are just clones of each other, where you find a node out in the world, circle it until you find the "sweet spot" and then hack away until it's given up the goods. The crafting classes are particularly egregious about this, as there's not really a functional difference between any of them: a timer starts, you're sitting in front of three stations, and you have to move between each of them, hitting a button, mashing a button, or holding a button. The only thing that changes is aesthetics, and whether you have particular bonuses you get from gear or the class skill tree.

And the combat, which you have to engage in with regularity, has absolutely no challenge or substance to it, and does not feel enjoyable to play.

And at this point, you might be asking "well why did you keep playing", which is a great question.

The thing is, while each individual element of this game has almost nothing to it, they're all somehow working in harmony. There are three time periods to move between, one a rip-off of Breath of the Wild, one more like Animal Crossing, and the last one of the most generic JRPGs you've ever seen. And because you can switch between them, because you're encouraged to keep adding things to the list of things to do, there's something that becomes dynamic about it.

There's something hypnotic about it, a "one more turn" feeling. It's a dopamine drip that works by varying the stimulus and jangling some keys in front of your face at regular intervals. You get distracted and go off to do something else, forgetting your original goal, but it doesn't actually matter what your original goal was, so it's fine.

And this is the depth of flavor thing, I think. There is nothing complex in this game, nothing original, nothing interesting, but all the uncomplex things together make it feel complex. This is the magic at the heart of Fantasy Life, the thing that makes it work as a game.

I despise it, in case that wasn't clear. It's rare that I walk away from a game feeling manipulated, like I wasted my time, but this game did that to me. I think it helped illuminate this pattern for me, in some way, one that I'm sure I've fallen victim to before, cheap garbage assembled in an interconnected pile.

Hopefully I remember to get out earlier next time I find this happening.

[beifong-brainrot]

In what universe is Korra masc or butch? God forbid a woman be feminine, but not hyper-feminine (love you, Asami). Or just prefer pants to skirts because she's physically active in her duties.

(Off topic, but I used to wonder what her season 1 pants were made from because they looked so comfy.)

If I had to categorize her, like under threat, I would say maybe a hard femme. And even that doesn't feel quite right for her. Like you're not gonna catch her in a full face of makeup any time soon, but she clearly likes more feminine aesthetics.Let women of color have their masculine and feminine elements in peace, I beg.

(Also, Korra's masculinization by the fandom leads directly back to how the "masc x femme" dynamic is idealized and romanticized, to the point where it seems unfathomable at times that two femmes can be together and content that way. And how women of colour will always be masculinized unless they perform hyperfemininity. But y'all aren't ready for that chat just yet.)

Just insert that "butchest woman the internet can handle" meme I guess.

I think its just so interesting that Korra is presented as "boyish" for dressing practically (Also, mind you, her clothing doesn't seem terribly masculine either) and for liking "boyish" things when it's later shown that Asami also... likes these things. Asami and Korra bond over racing cars, Asami also fights and she seems genuinely invested in probending.

Btw, I know a lot of people like the idea of Asami secretly being a villain, but it actually feels like a breath of fresh air? Too many times have we solved a love triangle by making a rival Evil. And hyperfemininity is so often villanised in a very specific way, especially in contrast tk a "less girly" protagonist.

Ofc, Asami and Korra break so many tropes through their romance, but honestly even before them becoming romantic, their interactions were pretty unique for the character archetypes they were in the type of media they were in.

[Also I also loved Korra's pants they genuinely looked so comfy. Though I just think I have a weakness for lantern style pants even though I dont think i could pull them off lol]

Also yeah, Korra being very distinctly brown is part of why she's masculinised so much. And I also want to note that, from what I've seen, hyperfeminity in woc is still mocked and talked down to and dismissed as trashy. Too many times have I seen a fashion trend be applauded on the white girlies when its critiqued on the women of colour whom the trend originated from.

What we percieve as feminine is very much still dictated by eurocentric beauty and culture standards, while, of course, other ethnicities and cultures will have their own versions and definitions of what is "feminine". This is why you see that the bulk of female athletes who are transvestigated and accused of "secretly being men" are women of colour. Features we've grown to percieve as feminine as a society are features we asscociate with white women, and a lack of said features supposedly denotes masculinity, instead of a different creed of femininity.

But I also don't want to talk over subjects that are not mine to speak on so. I just... don't really like how we talk abt feminine gender presentation. I love presenting femme, when I'm doing it for myself it's very relaxing and enjoyable. But damn does it hurt my head when I think abt it too deep lol

And yeah, fandom in general has a bit of an obsession with the masc/femme dynamic, a hit of the modern version of when you ask same sex couples the "so who's the guy" question lol. But I think Korrasami got hit with that stick particularly hard, tragically. A friend once made an excellent observation that this is also probably the reason we have so many omegaverse fics in the fandom too.

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

This is my honest and professional review of a BL series I cannot name, identify or tag because I live in fear of their rabid fandom:

I had a few hours to kill at the airport, so I chose an ongoing show on my BL watchlist to randomly binge as I wait for this hopelessly delayed flight to get a move on. I was REALLY looking forward to watching this show, and have expressed my excitement at multiple points on this blog. I was able to watch about 9 episodes in between my waiting hours and during the actual flight, and well...

You ever see a show that looks SO GOOD on paper-- a unique premise, solid exposition and well-defined characters, beautiful set design and costuming, an established pair, and a sky-high budget-- but falls so flat in execution that you physically need to stop watching before you get a sugar crash?

Because that's what the show was-- an endless sugar high. All aesthetic and eye-candy, but there was NOTHING in there to make the plot, its lead characters, or even its original conflict actually interesting or consistent. Even the half-baked political stance they shoe-horned into the plot made no goddamn sense because truly, the stakes in this show are not as important as these characters make them out to be. And these villains are clichè and cartoonish that their actions are actually predictable, rendering the plot also predictable. Halfway through the tenth episode I had to physically turn my phone off and switch to an inflight movie just to get this lingering bad taste out of my mouth.

But what really turned me off of the whole thing was the acting, especially the leads and their lack of chemistry. Maybe the pair was just so used to each other by then, that they forgot that being attracted to one another IRL doesn't always translate to attraction on screen. They are ACTORS first before anything else, and actors must use physical actions, facial expressions and vocal nuance to translate emotions to their AUDIENCE, not to their partner. They must actively interact with their set and their environments too, not just stand there and flail their arms while they deliver their lines. They must use dialogue dynamically, and not just in this constant monotone that's being used under the guise of disinterest, but it's really coming off as disassociated. And lastly, just because they gaze at each other and kiss doesn't mean the characters are automatically showing romantic interest TO THE AUDIENCE. Gazes must be accompanied by micromovements, intimacy must be coordinated with natural motions, initial apprehension, and even awkwardness, not just constant caressing and throwing heads back in a show of fake ecstacy. For six episodes, this couple has managed to convince me that they're-- bored of each other. They're so familiar and even nonchalant with each other at times, when at that point in the plot, the characters were supposed to be building a budding and enjoyable romance.

And such a shame too. I watched a few other projects with this branded pair prior to this one (one series and one movie), and though both projects had lower budgets and weirder storylines, their acting and their chemistry there wasn't that bad. Why are they regressing? I just feel like for this whole project, their hearts really weren't in it. Maybe they too, got lost in the ruffles and the routine of acting with each other.

This is why the best actors choose to act with different sets of talents, productions and genres outside of their branded pair partners-- to pick up techniques of the trade from other stars and directors, and to keep their dynamic with their actual partners fresh and constantly evolving. Acting with the same co-star over and over again establishes a false comfort that leads to lazy acting methods. Routine kills art.

(On that note, the side couple was not bad. At some point I wanted the side couple to take over this storyline because the main plot was giving me physical stomach pains).

And with a review like that, WOAH BOY you already know I won't be tagging this show directly, because if I got doxxed just by documenting the downfall of SmartBoom, you can bet your beautiful face that criticizing THIS COUPLE and this show will get my actual house burned down by its legion of delulu X fans.

And that's such a shame, because we should be allowed to air our criticisms and preferences without fear of public lynching (and so long as we express our opinions respectfully). Because how do we expect to improve on anything if all criticism is viewed as an ill and unprovoked attack on the person who made it and the people who like it? Can't we just be heard fairly? And by the way, I'm not a snob by any means. I LOVE TRASH SHOWS. I love any show so long as it achieves what it set out to, no matter what that is. And I also know that the things I love may not appeal to others the same way it appeals to me, and that's okay. Healthy, even. We are welcome to our own tastes, so long as it brings us joy.

That said, this half-review of an unidentified BL series isn't meant to attack any of its creators, or dissuade any of its fans from enjoying it. I'm happy you're liking it very much. I just think that maybe next time, this prod house might create a show that can appeal to fans like me. And by airing honest criticism, these actors may review their acting methods and be persuaded to improve upon their craft in future projects.

But what do I know, right? It's sugar and people will guzzle it anyway regardless of how it's made. I just wish that the series itself committed to its goals in the first place-- if it was a political commentary, then establish that first. If it was a criticism of the rich and their means of production, then focus on the takedown rather than skirt around the issue or reference it offhandedly under the guise of plot substance. If it's a love story, then eschew the weird plot points and just build on these characters' relationships and their compatibility. And it it's just an endless bodice ripper then commit to that, too-- remove the FIFTY OTHER THINGS you want this series to be and just focus on artfully conveying love scenes. Either way, just COMMIT TO IT AND BE CONSISTENT.

Please don't doxx me again. I am as polite as I can be, I don't deserve your unfounded hatred.

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: season one review

first things first: anyone who says the Movie That Does Not Exist is better than the live action is straight-up lying. the shymalan film fails on the criteria of even being a decent movie, let alone an adaptation. the netflix series, for all its problems, is at least an enjoyable watch with great effects, music and (mostly) appropriate casting. there's absolutely nothing to compare here - the netflix version clears easily.

now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's delve into the series, starting with the positives.

the good:

visuals and cinematography. they really did a great job of making it feel like a fantasy universe you wanted to be in & i love how vibrant the saturation and colour grading was. it made the world feel so much more dynamic and alive instead of the same flat, boring dullness that so many movies and shows have these days. sometimes i didn't even mind that i was being fed obvious exposition because at least they were giving me something pretty to look at lmao

effects and action. the bending was surprisingly good for the most part, and they did a good job of making the elements feel unique through the stunt choreography and the actors' movements. i'm immensely thankful they didn't try to skimp on budget by merely cutting away from fight scenes or showing us as little as possible. almost all the action sequences were fast-paced and engaging, and i was never bored watching them

acting. the main four were all great, but gordon cormier and dallas liu have to be the standouts for me. gordon brings such an earnest, innocent sweetness to aang that you can't help but like him, and dallas plays all of zuko's facets perfectly: the angst, the explosive anger, the bratty snark, and especially the deep-rooted pain that characterizes so many of zuko's actions in book 1. the range he has, especially when flashing from younger to older zuko, was insane. special shoutout to maria zhang and sebastian amoruso as suki and jet respectively, because they killed it

music. leaves from the vine instrumental had me tearbending and i love how they kept the iconic avatar theme while making it a little darker for this iteration of the story. in general, the soundtrack felt very true to the animation while still being a fresh spin on it

zuko and iroh's relationship and expanding on zuko's crew. i think the fandom universally agrees that lu ten's funeral and zuko's crew being the 41st division were the best changes in the series, so i'm not going to talk about it further other than to say that these scenes show me what the show can be, and that's why i'm not giving up on it

the bad:

characterization. almost all the main characters are missing the little nuances that made them so great in the original, but the greatest casualty is katara. i hate that they took away so much of her rage, and gave many of her traits and struggles to sokka. i don't think this is a problem solely with the writing though, because certain lines do feel like things animated katara would say, but the directing and line delivery don't have the same punch that made her so fierce in the original. this is an easily fixed issue though, so i hope they take the criticism and let my girl be angry and fuck shit up next season

exposition. this was primarily a problem in depicting aang's personality and the relationship between the gaang, because a) why are you TELLING me that aang is mischievous and fun-loving instead of just showing me and b) the gaang do NOT feel like close friends, mostly because they spend so much time apart in every episode that they have little screentime to actually bond and develop intimacy.

lack of focus on the intricacies of bending. for a show whose tagline is "master your element" the characters spend very little time actually... mastering their element. zuko is never shown to struggle with firebending (which is going to have ramifications when it comes to developing his relationship with azula), and neither aang nor katara ever learn waterbending from a master throughout the the entire show. i'm pretty sure aang never willingly waterbends ONCE in the entire eight episodes, discounting the avatar state and koizilla. bending isn't just cool martial arts, it's closely linked to the philosophies and spirituality of each nation, and i wish that had been explored more.

pacing. they really needed to do a better job of conveying that time passed between episodes because an 8-episode season is just going to FEEL shorter than a 20-episode one. the original animation felt as though they'd truly been on a long journey before arriving at the north, but here it feels like the entire show happened in the span of a fortnight or so because each episode seemed to pick up right after the previous. they needed to have more downtime within episodes instead of just rushing from plot beat to plot beat because it made everything feel a lot more rushed. give the characters and story time to breathe.

final rating: 7/10.

overall, i would describe the live action as a better version of the percy jackson movies - not an accurate or perfect adaptation, but a decent story that's very fun to watch. but what really makes me root for this show to get a season 2 is that it has a lot of potential and more importantly, a lot of heart. it's evident that the people who worked on it do genuinely love and respect the original series, and it shows onscreen.

regardless of anything else, this show created opportunities for so many asian and indigenous actors, writers and creators to tell the kinds of stories and play the kinds of roles they don't usually get, and that's something worth supporting. if they take the criticism from this season and improve, i believe they really do have something special on their hands which - although it might not be the original we all know and love - could still be a story to be proud of.

[jpeg-dot-jpeg]

For the fanfic author ask pretty please & thank you :)

Karyogamy

4, 9, 11

Karyogamy (Teen, 21.8k, Complete)

<3 <3 <3

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Up until I was physically typing it, the point where Tim takes his alt-self's clone baby almost went another way. In the fic, it is very vaguely and briefly alluded to that alt-Tim's arrest results in some casualties. Because this is supposed to be a fluffy family funtime story, I decided that alt-Tim died during the raid on his lab, otherwise the threat of him coming back for his clone baby would have always thrown a shadow on the happy universe.

However, the story very nearly took a turn where good-Tim and alt-Tim spoke to each other, and alt-Tim had a complete breakdown where he asked good-Tim to take the clone baby and be a better father to it. That was actually going to be a major point in the story until I scrapped it. I was already stressed about finishing up that work and didn't want to add more to the pile that I would never explore later.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

Even now, sometimes I'll go back and reread this one for my own enjoyment. Part of that is how it always feels fresh to me; every chapter has a different rhythm. 1 is all narrative, 2 is all internal drama, 3 is dialogue and group dynamics, 4 has the logs, and 5 is very visual. If that makes sense. Other people might read it very differently, but to me I love the variation in it. Fun to write and read!

Number 4 answered here!

[tumelothee]

I HAVE A THEORY...

What if Carmy is the friend who's ass might be dropped??

The Bear loves some foreshadowing and a call back. Episode 1 of season 2, Carmy finds Richie in the basement of The Beef\The Bear (why does a restaurant have a basement???) and Richie looks sad and anxious. He then expresses to Carmen that he's trying to find his purpose and that he's been reading a lot. He then tells Carmen about this book about this group of friends that have all these talents and one of them just watches trains and because that's all that friend does, they decide to drop his ass.

We get to episode 10, and this is the episode where Carmen and Sydney are supposed do the thing, work together, be cohesive, show their talents and be on their way to getting that star, but that's not what happened. Carmen ends up stuck in the fridge and Sydney is left in a bind. And then comes Richie, fresh off his mini redemption high, with a sense of purpose, ready to help Sydney AND DOES.

Sydney and Richie AND EVEN NATALIE, form this great dynamic and work flow at such a pivotal time, showing their talents and doing it without being assholes. 🤭

Richie, while not having any skills, was at the restaurant, everyday, helping and what not. Where was Carmen? Going out with a women he didn't even feel like calling his girlfriend...

Carmen ended up stuck in the fridge because of his own failures because of him not actually being an active partner for Sydney. He, himself realised he was the one that fucked up and nearly skrewed up everything and went into a spiral.

Carmen had the perfect 'receipe' to staring a great restaurant: Partners (Uncle Jimmy and Sydney) who are skilled and that he respects and trusts, employees that are efficient, staff that is reliable and hardworking and yet, he was barely there to acknowledge that and be apart of it.

That story Richie told, was not talking about him, it was talking about Carmen. Carmen might have exceptional skill, but he does not find what he does enjoyable, making him the friend that just watches (or ended up just watching).

The theme of purpose is not yet a closed case on The Bear. Come Season 3, I fear Carmen will struggle with finding who he truly is and how that will effect the people in his life. Hopefully he will let back enjoyment and amusement in his life...

[tech-92]

Tech and his "Extra Curriculars"

(CW: Talks of car crashes, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and hard kink)

When it comes to thinking or talking about Tech in any sexual situation, I feel it's important to understand where we come from here on this blog. A lot of posts on our blog tagged "#tbb tech" have this weird masochistic vibe to them and that's for a reason. Our understanding of Tech comes mostly from our development of a concept we call "Tech Crash". The "Crash" part in Tech Crash is from the 1996 movie Crash staring James Spader where essentially, he gets off on participating in car crashes. Anyways, here's what we have written down about the Tech Crash situation:

I finally figured it out what's going on with Tech. I had been having trouble because I knew that there was something Weird happening with him, I just wasn’t sure what exactly. Now I know. So, like obviously it’s been (practically) established in canon that he’s autistic. I also personally read him as someone who’s ace but still has sex and enjoys it. I think both of those things are intrinsic to his experience of sex. I also think both of those things lend quite well to him being into some strange and unusual fetish. We also happen to know he’s into high speed racing and shit from the show… And its like Crash in which he's like, into car crashes but it’s not exactly that. But I am expanding on that. I think he’s into very high-risk scenarios and extreme masochism.

Part of the Tech autism situation is that, it’s really clear he has a hard time with emotions. Specifically, I think he has a lot of trouble parsing out how he feels about things and what to do about that, how to cope, etc. Which is why he tends to ignore problems (ex: when Echo was gone in season 2). Because even if he can recognize he’s upset about something, he can’t really process it in more detail than that. This causes some issues given that he’s a clone and is regularly forced to experience very very dangerous situations with the very very real threat of death breathing down his neck. That’s emotionally and physically devastating. But those scenarios also have a very dramatic effect on the brain in the sense that pivoting SO DRAMATICALLY so quickly from a mindset of urgent survival, "holy shit i am about to die get it together i have to live i have to live" to the overwhelming and ecstatic relief of actually surviving creates a mental sensation not unlike orgasm. And then, pairing that chemical high with the fresh sensation of pain from the injuries he sustained during the survival period creates a deep association of extreme pain with extreme pleasure, even if it is in a twisted context. As an autistic person with similar alexithymia (emotional blindness) to Tech, I can DEFINITELY see him processing those sensations in a sexual way. His emotions would be way easier to recognize and interact with if they’re associated with the distinctive, familiar emotion of sexual arousal.

Of course, those intense scenarios are a very prominent part of his life, and I think as he gets older there comes a stronger divide between the painful, high-risk scenarios he experiences for work and the painful, high-risk scenarios he puts himself in deliberately for sexual pleasure. But I think a significant reason he chooses to put himself in those situations is that, if he’s regularly experiencing that level of fear, pain, and release voluntarily, it makes it a lot easier to handle those things when he’s forced to experience them outside of his own volition.

I want to be clear that I think his enjoyment of masochism is a very sensory focused thing that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with sub/dom dynamics, in fact I think he is specifically not into that sort of thing. I also think his masochism has nothing to do with underlying self-hatred or any sense of “deserving” it. It is PURELY because he likes the sensation of pain and gets off to it. That’s a big part of what I mean when I say his experience of sex is fundamentally autistic. I also think that in general, he’s just not really that into other people. Like, he is willing to have sex with other people, but mostly just because there’s certain things that he can’t really do to himself, whether due to physical or psychological barriers, or just that the safety risk involved in hurting yourself really bad often necessitates another person’s presence in case he passes out or something. What he considers sex/sexual activity is mostly stuff that is barely, if at all, recognizable as sex in the typical definition. This is why I think his experience of sex is also fundamentally aroace.

To get back to the Crash thing. I do think that broadly he is just simply into the idea of danger to a really strong degree, and that can be sort of anything. But he already knows a lot about and has a lot of experience with vehicles, and I think that pushing their abilities and his skills to the absolute brink is gratifying to him both in an experimental way and in a sexual way. He also has the conceptualization to understand the inherent sexiness of metal, cars, etc. even if he is not sexually attracted to the cars themselves. So yeah, he’s getting into crashes. He’s not into it in the same way they are in Crash, where the end-goal/ULTIMATE release is death; as I said this is all a very primal sensory thing for him and he is not into the idea of near-death so much as he is into the rush of endorphins that he experiences while in those situations. While his thing is very high-risk, he is careful about protecting the most important/vulnerable parts of his body and making sure things are set up in a way such that he can hurt a lot without being in too much actual danger of death/infection. However, I do think that when he was younger he took more risks and did some crazy shit that he should NOT have done but calmed down and became more careful as he got older. He probably has the most elaborate and frightening collection of scars. The Crash thing is also why he handles the fractured femur with such ease.

Additionally this part of why TechPhee does not work, at least for me. She could try to figure out how to flirt with him for months and he wouldn’t realize, then she’d finally just ask him out and by the time they hit the bedroom he is like “I need you to hurt me so bad I’m seeing stars in order to get off” and she’d be like "you know what this is not worth it I think we should just be friends". Any apparent mutual interest in each other would just be like, Phee thinking “His eyes are so beautiful I think I want to make love to him” and Tech thinking “she is pretty I wonder if she’d be willing to carve holes into my thighs” or something

[thr4shit]

So, here I am. Fresh off the watch of the live action How To Train Your Dragon film.

A solid 7.5 to 8 out of 10 overall.

A little pro and con list (to me) under cut

The pros:

Good dragon design (save for the Gronkle)

Characters feel real and new but not disconnected from the original film

THEY MENTIONED VALKA IN THE FIRST FILM AND SHOWED MORE ACTIVE FAMILY DYNAMICS (outside of just Hiccup and Stoick)

The Red Death (the Queen) is much more RED (I always hated that she wasn't RED like her name would imply)

The main crew kept their quirks (Snotlout's crush on Astrid and "I'm better than you" attitude, Fishleg's nerdiness and obsession with dragon facts *they introduced his dragon cards*, the twins' chaotic energy and general mischief)

Amplified the personalities and stories of the other trainees to make them feel like more of a focus rather than a backing party to Hiccup

Mentioned other dragons such as Skrills/Skrulls (showed Rumblehorns briefly on screen)

Stoick uses real rallying techniques instead of saying "those who stay look after my son"

Better storybuilding for the society of Berk as a melting pot of Viking cultures from across the land

Plenty of callbacks to the original film, but not so much it felt like a direct copy. It was what it said, an adaptation

Made me cry (from nostalgia)

You can TELL what animal most of the dragons are based on (ie. Nadders being based of birds such as chickens or even off the beastial structure of a cockatrice, or the Terrible Terrrors being based off chameleons, Monstrous Nightmares having a salamander build)

THEY ADDED THE QUEEN/ALPHA CONTROLLING ASPECT IN THIS FILM. (Had one of the dragons have to struggle against the command. Something only seen in the original 2nd film)

AQUATIC DRAGONS VAGUELY SEEN. I REPEAT. AQUATIC DRAGONS VAGUELY SEEN

The cons:

Personal pro: HICCUP IS LEFT HANDED FUCK YEAH!! (op is left handed too and he is like. the one I relate most to)

Gronkles, baby what did they do to you...?

A lot of the "comedic" bits were removed, for a more action-y film

The scene that leads to Hiccup's plan against the Red Death (Terrible Terror "not so fireproof on the inside" scene) removed. Not detrimental, but a little sad

I do feel at times the dragons were a little too scaly somehow in comparison to their original counterparts (much more lizard like than salamander-ish to the original film). But again, their designs were good

Some of the more heartwarming or heartwrenching scenes were changed and lost their precise "flavor" of emotional (although generally they remained well structured)

This is more of a personal peeve to me, but they removed the "your only chance: hide and pray it does not find you" line from the description of the Night Fury in the Book of Dragons (again, not detrimental, but kind of takes away from the perceived "pure evil" or "deadliness" of the Night Fury)

Anyways. Like I said. Solid 7.5 or 8 out of 10, it was a good watch, and it was definitely one of the better live action remake films I've seen in my lifetime. It didn't do the original the utmost honor, but it didn't butcher it either. It was very much a solid retelling.

This adaptation was worth (to me) seeing in theaters, and I hope it is as enjoyable to you as it was to me should you choose to see it. It was wonderful to see an actually GOOD retelling of one of the most important films to my childhood.

[genderless-crimes]

chara bingo!!! tgwdlm alice, hidgens, bill, mcnamara? any or all of these

AAAAAAAA TYSM!!

okey I'm gonna answer all of these but it's gonna be obvious I have a Favorite

Alice Woodward:

GIRL "NOT YOUR SEED" IS STILL PLAYING ON LOOP IN MY HEAD SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT 5 YEARS AGO I CANNOT GET OVER HER

Alice is such a well-written character. Every time she shows up I giggle and kick my feet. The ways that she tries to distance herself from her father are heartbreaking and yet vaguely relatable. And the fact that, despite that, she still loves him, still yearns for that connection despite neither of them having the ability to communicate properly-- UGH IT'S SO GOOD

Also I'm not 100% certain Deb's right for her, just based on Watcher World, but it makes sense why she would be trying so hard to keep the relationship alive (the fact that she's trying to escape her dad yet is falling into the same patterns--) WHICH BRINGS ME TO

Bill Woodward:

AHAHDHAJSHEHAGGSHSHAHSHSHQHSJDHAHAVWB

Call me Bliklotep the way I wanna watch this man. I love him sm I want to send him to the shadow realm to see what he does I want to give him a fresh baked pie I want to stare at him

He so clearly loves Alice and is so utterly devoted to her, to being a good father, to succeeding at one thing in his life, in making one person happy. He sacrifices everything he has for her and it's not enough because you can't just sacrifice for someone all the time and expect things to be okay. He's so dedicated to making her happy that he ignores the things he dislikes or her obvious discomfort/annoyance. He's kind-hearted but also selfish. His best friend is the "rudest" guy in the office bc Bill can't help but see the good in people and work towards the best. THE MAN STAYED SOBER DURING AN APOCALYPSE BC HE THOUGHT THEY'D NEED A DESIGNATED DRIVER

I love Bill Woodward so much and it's unfair the way that he gets glossed over by the fanbase. Look, okay, I'm saying this as a certified Paul Enjoyer: this fanbase does not need more Paul content when Bill is right there not being used to his full potential

Professor Henry Hidgens:

The man the myth the legend himself!!! I love Hidgens, but I don't think I'm as crazy about him as other people in the fanbase. Obviously, he's iconic, and I love the bits of lore we know about him. Man is unhinged, desperately clinging to writing a musical about his ex boyfriends as a way of coping with their tragic deaths, and spends his entire life (when he isn't preparing for the apocalypse) working on it and looking for funding only to immediately snap the moment it actually gets produced bc it doesn't live up to his expectations...

Actually, maybe I am feral about him.

He's a bastard with a tragic backstory but is still a bastard. Love that kooky man

General John Macnamara:

My feels about Macnamara are kinda complicated. I really like his vibe, and every time he shows up I get excited bc he's fucking badass and also a bit deranged but in a cool and based way. On the other hand, military and cop characters always feel a bit ick to me just bc of real life stuff. He's the American of all time, tho, and I love his dynamic with Lex and Hannah. 8/10 wish I could like him more

[maxinery]

Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Book Review

Reviewer Note: I now know what it's like to be the cuck in a weird, fourth-wall breaking, parasocial romance between an author and their creation. Thank you Stephanie Meyer :3

Rating: 8/20 dead as hell vampires 🧛

Would Recommend?: if only to read once in your life

Review: To preface, I grew up on these movies, and have always been a die-hard Team Edward (I've since deluded myself into head-cannoning movie Bella as an adult with a fully developed frontal lobe. After growing past the age of 8, I can see how this man shouldn't be allowed within 50 feet of a woman).

My consumption of the first two books in the saga were almost entirely fueled by my own nostalgia. I figured that with a fresh, grown set of eyes I would be able to laugh at the absurdity of the books. By the third book, though, I've realized I'm now on the same track as many before me, unable to stop reading this slop and hurdling towards the last book and the eminent crashout it's going to inflict on my psyche.

~

There is a COMPLETELY different conflict beginning to form in Eclipse (and some of New Moon) that breaks literally every piece of storytelling from what was a very enjoyable and mindless read in the first book. As many before me have said, I think that Stephanie Meyer created this entirely accidental horror series, where both the reader and characters in the book are subject to the entirely nonsensical delusions of a woman in love with her own creation.

The most prominent example for me was the relationship between Bella and Jacob, who (in the simplest, most superficial of terms) had a healthy, positive relationship beginning to develop. Bella was starting to move on from Dusty, recovering from (for a teenage girl) a very world-ending experience. So... we take this very interesting dynamic between Bella and her second male-lead, and then completely strip the characters of their free will, and force them into this weird alternate reality where all of their thoughts, feelings, and actions revolve around Edward. Edward, who Stephanie has this weird parasocial love for not AT ALL connected to the main premise of the book.

I swear Dusty is the only character that matters to her, and with every installation of these books it just confirms it even more for me.

~

Let me put myself into Stephanie's shoes right now:

Sure, let's take this 16 YEAR OLD CHILD, who genuinely just cares for his friend (and yeah maybe stupidly pursues her throughout New Moon) and completely uproot his life. Then, let's have Bella, who from the beginning never intended to be romantically involved with Jacob, be indecisive, and take advantage of the genuinely caring friend that Jacob was. Of course because he is a second male-lead, I never expected him to get the girl. But... STEPHANIE!!!

Why would you take a perfectly fine romantic conflict, with actual stakes and an interesting enough dynamic with the main character, and take away LITERALLY all of his desirable qualities and reduce him to a WEIRD, COERCIVE, 'nice guy' that has zero respect for his supposed 'best friend' by book 3??? Whatever it takes to make sure Stephanie and Dusty get their happy ending, though, right? She even added in some cute scenes of Jacob and Bella towards the end, but it seemed more of an afterthought, band-aid kind of solution that seemed really unnecessary after the first half of Eclipse.

I won't even begin to talk about the overtly racist rhetoric that stinks up these pages, since I think plenty before me who are more knowledgeable have gone over just about everything.

I think after Eclipse specifically, it is so clear to me that Stephanie and Edward are on their own team (along with all the Cullens- maybe excluding Rosalie- as their plot devices), while every other poor sap stuck in this universe are their opposition. You, as the reader, know that every possible details that could add any stakes or nuance in Bella's decision will be stomped out.

~

Stephanie, I salute you for being able to accidentally create one of the scariest dynamics in any novel I have ever read, but in all the wrong ways. Though, maybe I'm a little biased in my thinking, because I know the literary atrocities that await me in the next installment (*shivers*... imprinting).

I'll see all you soldiers still catching up on this series on the other side of the war. o7

[ravenkinnie]

i love love love the way you write jinx and the way you talk about her and her relationships!!! not to be annoying bc a lot of ppl in the fandom are like 16/17 but the general interpretation of jinx as little more than a victim of her circumstances and silco’s manipulation who should make up with her sister, be caitvi’s slightly annoying third wheel and ekko’s (or lux? lmao nothing against either ship but yk) quirked up gf is soooo boring (like god forbid a girl contains multitudes and is both a meow meow and an absolute cunt) and your take on her is such a breath of fresh air! not sure if you talked about this in a post already but what are your hopes in general for the new season and ofc for jinx in particular?

❤️❤️❤️ that's my pookie and even tho I'm hoeing across runeterra she will always be the one

no fr fr and listen I do feel like I'm fighting in a kindergarten when I hate because I realise it's cause everyone I'm beefing with is 18 and just likes the same YA archetypes as everyone else at that age but if 10k bitches can post it on ao3 I can hate on it. especially because it erases a supremely well done character that they made out of a lol champion I wouldn't even think twice about when she first released like that's a talent and that's work

and also if people want to complain about female characters in media it feels disingenuous to then remove agency from complicated female characters we do have to make them one dimensional - like one thing you cannot say about jinx is that she's flat - in personality I mean cause well. she is an active dynamic character with insane narrative potential and a lot of layers and being both a victim and a victimiser is an important part of that

my main hopes for season 2 are honestly

*I hope its consistent internally with its own ideology </3 I think s1 at the end starts unraveling a lil because it seems to despair for this both sides ass take but it just wouldn't make any sense with league lore or the show itself. here I mostly fear for ekko gkbknj

*everybody should become a somewhat worse person, like vi provably will because she will become an enforcer, caitlyn seems to also be heading for some corruption arc, obv viktor is there, so I think this will be fulfilled teehee

*I want jinx to have her own arc and I mean an arc where she develops her own goal and motivations outside other characters too and maybe this goal will be to love evil till the day she dies, ill take it!! I just think seeing jinx grow outside that child/flighty troublemaker into a full on villain/terrorist will be fantastic and will also give her actual league lore another layer that hopefullyyyy they can continue to build on (and they will never stop banking on jinx like that's basically leagues mascot)

*mel survives </3 like it would be way too much of a loss of a great character to give her so little storyline of her own, she needs to be in s2

*overall, sorry to be a freak but I'm a tragedy lover and enjoyer and I know they are tied to champion lore somewhat now but I still hope it ends sad or bittersweet for everyone. and when you say tragedy people often think of character death but that's probably the least tragic ending you can give a bitch, the true hollowness in losing everything you once were and could have been is what im talking about!!

*I did say this before but I hope jinx kills imagine dragons in arcane universe. first of all they are touring in israel so they deserve that but also it would be really funny to see them on her list of victims like just whole ass imagine dragons under silco or sth

[markantonys]

Conversation on Twitter on how book Moiraine and Rand's antagonism and distrust despite needing each other is what keeps them from just being Gandalf and Frodo 2.0 and because the show made Moiraine the viewpoint character in s1 they just made Rand and Moiraine's relationship like Gandalf and Frodo's but like... They are antagonistic towards each other in s1. In s2 they argue too. And s3 it very likely could take a nose dive again. I do think the show toned down the antagonism a bit but the main difference is that I think show Rand respects her but I don't think he trusts her

has anyone in the world ever watched wotshow and thought to themselves "wow, moiraine and rand remind me so much of gandalf and frodo"????? in the early episodes of s1 MAYBE (in the exact same way that somebody reading EOTW might think so) but by the end of s2 the whole vibe of the characters & of the dynamic as well as the things moiraine is mentoring rand on and the goals they're trying to accomplish, all of that is so vastly different from gandalf and frodo - in large part BECAUSE they made moiraine a viewpoint character and fleshed her out as more than just the mysterious wizard mentor figure. and even the simple fact of the mentor being a woman (and a gay woman at that) and the mentee being a man is enough of a twist on standard same-gender mentor-mentee fantasy dynamics that you honestly barely even need to change anything else to make it feel fresh (tho ofc the books & show do change plenty of other stuff as well). i've seen a number of show-onlys list "wise wizard mentor being a woman instead of a man" as an initial unique selling point that got them to tune into the show, so clearly they aren't feeling that this mentorship dynamic is trite and tired and same-y.

ostensibly, an argument like this is concerned about show-onlys; readers already know what rand & moiraine's dynamic is like, so if a reader is arguing that the show made it too similar to gandalf & frodo, that means their concern, ostensibly, is that someone who does NOT already know anything about the dynamic wouldn't find it engaging. of course, this subset of readers doesn't actually give a shit about show-onlys' opinions or about the show catering to them and being accessible and enjoyable to them, but ostensibly, this take is worried about the dynamic being able to engage viewers who don't have any book context or knowledge and know only what the show has shown them.

in which case, i'm gonna need readers to actually bother talking to show-onlys and finding out what they think about stuff before making arguments like this, because i highly doubt any show-only is out there thinking that moiraine & rand's dynamic is boring because it's too similar to gandalf & frodo. genuinely, so many bad reader show-takes would be solved if they actually engaged with show-onlys (and show-onlys of a broader spectrum than just "wlw twitter who would jump in a lake if moiraine told them to") and took their input as indicative of how the show is doing at portraying xyz, because so many of the things they complain about the show not conveying properly are things that do, in fact, come across perfectly well to show-onlys. but this take feels less like "i'm genuinely concerned that the moiraine-rand dynamic in the show is not engaging to those who have no prior knowledge of what their dynamic is like" and more like "i've been mad about moiraine being bumped up to primary character level for 3 years and am making up new reasons to explain why it's bad because everybody else has stopped listening to me shouting about the original reasons"

[many-gay-magpies]

Hi it's Quill! ❤️ You said you love to talk about writing, I'd love to hear some of it, so here it is: can you please answer 13, 14, 27, 63 and 64? AND as a bonus (if you want), answer the question you really wanted someone to ask you when you saw the list 😜

hi hi @shadowquill17, thank you sm for asking!! I am glad you would love to hear because I have written. A Lot. thank you for giving me license to yap lmao

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

more and more lately, I've been following the advice of "write the scenes in the order you want to write them, you can connect the dots later"- it just makes for such an easy flow as opposed to trying to write everything in perfect chronological order to get to the scenes you really want to write, because often by the time you GET to those scenes you're worn out by trudging through the writing in-between, or the words have fled from your brain. and oftentimes I end up majorly rewriting those scenes I wrote early on to make them fit with the stuff I wrote after, but like, it's such a relief to just. get the words on the page (or screen, technically). and now im realising that this tip may not exactly be COMMON but it's one I follow a lot kshdfkhsdfkh

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I mean, I don't know that the writing of emotional scenes is something I really consciously think about? like. any scene that has characters in it is going to have emotions in it. because I am writing people, and people are feeling emotions. pretty much all the time. but I get that this question more means, like, big breakdowns or emotional climaxes or cathartic moments, so- I don't know? I don't know that I feel what the characters feel (although sometimes yeah probably); it's more that I just imagine how THEY would feel and act in the situation, based on how they've acted in the canon material and whatnot. for some things I have drawn on personal experience, like the description of Edwin's touch starvation in to a grave dug for fear is VERY drawn from my own physical feelings in similar situations, especially the "grip around his heart like a scream about to burst" description of the hug at the end. but mostly yeah I just, like, envision the scene in my head as if I was watching it as a scene on TV and then write it. writing emotion and emotional scenes is very well-practiced/comes very naturally to me, so it's not really something I think about anymore skhdfkshdfkh

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

ooooh lemme think. I think most favorite: right when you have a fresh new idea and you're just on a ROLL writing it, everything's coming out so smooth and perfect and you feel so INSPIRED and so happy with how good it is/is gonna be. that's my favorite and then my LEAST favorite is that stage of editing where you've been looking at a piece so long that you start to hate it, and now phrasings and bits of dialogue you started out loving look weird and clunky, and oh lord why has no one ever told you you use this many semicolons??? that's too many semicolons. cool it with the semicolons. and the em dashes as well. coming back with an edit because I remembered another least favorite part (which really pertains more to the ABSENCE of writing): that specific mood where you have an idea that you know would be really really cool to write, you have the plot and character dynamics and arc and everything perfectly envisioned and you know it would be SO SO GOOD... but the actual spark of motivation that makes you want to write the thing just is not there. it's always like UGHHHHH IM SO SORRY I CANT DO YOU JUSTICE, YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD IF I ACTUALLY WANTED TO WRITE YOU TT. but instead it sits there and rots. I despise this

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

I don't know if it's an outright HATE, and I can push through it sometimes if the rest of the smut is more or less enjoyable, but like. I strongly dislike when there is not clear, explicit, enthusiastic consent established throughout the scene- like, if a character just DOES SOMETHING without asking first, or just saying like "can I try something?", and waiting to get their partner's agreement before proceeding. oftentimes I see this happen in fics with a dom/sub dynamic where the just-going-for-it-without-asking is written into the general commanding-ness of the dominant person in the relationship, which is just. eugh, no thanks. I think DBDA fic in particular has diminished my tolerance for lack of explicit verbal consent because so many DBDA smut fics have SUCH prominent and fantastic consent established. also when characters in a d/s dynamic are made to do or say things that are just completely out of character (imo) in the name of pushing that dynamic further

64. Something you love to see in smut.

Conversely, of course, I love seeing explicit and enthusiastic consent in smut, ESPECIALLY when someone asking "can I try something" "can I touch you" "is this okay" "do you want to stop" etc etc is answered with "anything" "do NOT stop" or just straight-up begging. like. such a lovely lovely way of confirming consent while maintaining the mood >> (although consent doesn't BREAK the mood anyway). or like, when a character does something on accident, the other character reacts with a gasp or a loud noise or whatever, and the first character is like "oh no did I hurt you??" and the second character (who was really into it) is like "FUCK NO DO THAT AGAIN" In the interest of giving a different answer tho, some other stuff I love in smut is dynamics where a character that hasn't gotten to let go or be vulnerable in this way really ever is given the space to do that, and even ENCOURAGED to... where someone who thinks they aren't good enough or don't deserve this gets assured irrevocably that they ARE and they DO through sex... cough cough sub Charles fics cough cough-- yeah generally just. some good home-grown life-affirming smut. thumbs up emoji also desperation/lack of composure/greed/intense unrestrained desire/want bordering on hunger is hot. especially characters that have been composed/trying to hold back before just fucking losing it. but I think that's kinda the name of the game with a lot of smut

hope you enjoyed this essay lmao

[the-bloody-sadist]

Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

Ooooooooo I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! THAT'S SO FASCINATING! THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME! If my friends know anything about me it's that I LOVE to psychoanalyze, so let's see what I can do here *cracks every knuckle*---

I'll preface by saying I have NOT read any het romance in the MANGA world at least--or otherwise japanese/chinese/korean sources--but did grow up only reading/watching/writing that and thinking I hated romance in general because it was so fucking boring LMAO. If I can compare any het media to non-American BL media, I would have to say anime is my only reference!

With that said, I came through the same arc you did. I tried het romance my whole life, suddenly fell upon BL, said WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS IT SO GOOD COMPARED TO THE SHIT I'VE BEEN READING, never went back to het romance, and now do BL in all shapes and forms full-time.

What seems to be the big factor in BL/yaoi being so much more enjoyable is that there's an inherent difference in the dynamic of male/male vs. male/female--as portrayed by media, at least. And there's just something about that dynamic that makes it more gripping. It's easier to feel that line of tension between the characters, not to mention the fact that most male/male couples' conflict is far more relatable than the ones I see in female/male. In het media, I tend to see incredibly petty choices of conflict, whereas a LOT of BL chooses trauma, mental illness, and sometimes the acceptance of being gay as the reasons the couples struggle.

I identify far more with those issues than I do with the more stupid conflicts I see in het media like "HE'S WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHATEVER SHALL I DO!" (and it's just his sister) or "HOW DO I KNOW IF I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM? MAYBE I DON'T! LET ME THROW HIM FOR LOOPS AND GO BACK AND FORTH!" and other common, annoying tropes. Especially the jealousy and love triangles. BL does some love triangles, but it's just less...petty? There are usually more founded issues for the conflict that comes from those situations.

I say this with hesitation, but I also feel that BL/yaoi tends to have more creative and unseen concepts than het media. Actually--erase that hesitation. I believe that wholeheartedly. They tend to choose traumatic situations more often than het media--and this is the important part--THEY PORTRAY THEM IN A MORE REALISTIC MANNER.

This doesn't go for all BL because of course it doesn't. An entire genre of different writers--many good and many bad--can never have a singular good trait shared between all of them. But the majority of BL that I've read that include scenes of rape, child abuse, or sex trafficking keeps some sense of terror and gravity to the situation. That's something I tend to see less of in het media. Instead, things often feel more exploitative or voyeuristic. Suffering as a spectacle, as they say. However, it may just have something to do with the female gender being the victim, which we've all seen countless times in all shapes and forms. It feels fresh and new to see a male character going through those issues, instead.

On that topic, I would add that the main audience for romance as a whole has always been dominated by women, so women are more likely to be the consumers of both het and queer romance. When it comes to yaoi, the automatic power balance of male/female is gone, leaving only male/male and opening the option for different ways to imbalance that power--automatically feeling more creative and new than the age old female-victim-male-aggressor-but-he's-kinda-hot trope. In addition to this, so many het romances have unapologetic portrayals of romanticized abuse (The Notebook, 50 Shades of Grey, Blade Runner [speaking to the romance PLOT, sorry, more obscure], the After series, The Kissing Booth, and so on) that never get brought up, never seem to affect the female lead negatively, and always get the couple together in the end. This is endlessly infuriating to me and I've never enjoyed the popular het romances for this reason. It feels like gaslighting--gaslighting of the audience--to see harsh moments of outright abuse and then see the female lead react as if it's sexy, and to feel nothing but gut-freezing disgust as a viewer. It's even more painful when the audience around you also reacts in that way because they're so used to seeing it in your everyday het romance.

Contrasting this with yaoi/BL media--this issue is completely flipped. Countless stories show abuse, address the abuse, portray the male lead suffering from the effects of that abuse, and proceed with a motivation to fix, endure, or to run away from that abuse. To claim that yaoi/BL has less romanticization of said abuse is not wholly true, but the problem for me has always been that het romance PRETENDED THE ABUSE DID NOT EXIST AND/OR IS SEXY AND NORMAL. Whereas yaoi seemed more self-aware that they were writing abuse, and--if they chose to romanticize it--more often did so because the abuse was being experienced through the eyes of the victim. This is important because victims of abuse in reality DO this to cope and survive, so the romanticization is a direct result of a trauma response, and it's made far more clear in yaoi that this is the case.

This is why the kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome romances (Killing Stalking at the top), and toxic relationship themes in BL are far more attractive and validating to read.

Say, for instance, the romances that include themes of kidnapping, sexual assault, and captivity in het media. What have we got for that that's good and actually explores the nature of abuse? What I tend to see that meets that criteria (possibly) isn't really included in the romance category at all--it's either listed as horror or it's a lightened romcom version of that event (kidnapping, specifically)--unless you think of the more popular ones like 365 Days where it's supposed to be sexy and everyone has no brain. I might be flimsy on my point here, since this is the first time I've tried to pick apart this subject, so I apologize. But in addition to these het romances with the themes that I'd like to see not really existing in a way that's been done WELL--I also personally can't watch a woman getting hurt the way I can watch a man getting hurt.

We've seen enough women suffering onscreen, and most of the times the way it gets filmed ends up feeling sexualized in some way--especially if it's a horror movie or a thriller romance. I personally don't enjoy the lack of emotional depth in these types--and clearly they're most often written to be sexy or shock horror more than serious. Trauma doesn't feel real in these stories, so it's intensely triggering to watch it happen onscreen without a resolution to that trauma.

Going back to yaoi/BL, their romances include and very often feature abusive relationships or straight-up hostage romances. But the way they're handled is the big difference. Even though some treat the abuse like sexy porn scenes and I find myself dropping them for the same triggers that set me off in het media, this is much less of a problem, and you can get your thrills without the invalidation of watching trauma happen without being treated like trauma. There's often an arc of learning for the abuser, the relationship healing/improving (and I don't care that it's not morally correct or realistic for this to happen because it's fiction and we all need our coping mechanisms for reality), and a satisfying end where both the characters learn how to love each other. In their own way.

This makes the trauma feel raw and the healing feel rewarding, which is what I come to see. It feels like more BL writers get this and have actually been through some shit.

Lastly, it's not weird that you feel this way, and I'm worried that the discourse on social media about people who exclusively enjoy yaoi/BL has influenced that belief in a lot of people. It shouldn't be that way, and I hope people come around to the actual logic instead of copy-pasting what everyone else says to fit in!

IN ANY CASE, I HAVE RAMBLED FAR TOO LONG ON PRETTY MUCH THE SAME POINT, BUT I HOPE THIS HELPED!! That's the main difference that I'm drawn to yaoi for and I hope it might have helped you see why you are, too!!

Much love to you, and again, thank you SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! I loved getting to answer that.