#the zit club

[joslincox]

Party in The Zit

Cover of: Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus

I hopped off the helicopter at LAX

With a dream and my cardigan

Welcome to the body of fame excess (woah)

Am I gonna fit in?

Jumped in the zit, here I am for the first time

Look to my right, and I see the Hollywood sign

This is all so crazy

Everybody seems so famous

My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda homesick

Too much pressure and I'm nervous

That's when the cell casino man turned on the radio

And a Kindey Rock song was on

And a Kindey Rock song was on

And a Kindey Rock song was on

So I put my hands up

They're playin' my song, the sperm cells fly away

I'm noddin' my head like, yeah

Movin' my hips like, yeah

I got my hands up, they're playin' my song

They know I'm gonna be okay

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Get to the club in my cell casino

Everybody's looking at me now

Like, "Who's that cell that's rockin' kicks?

She gotta be from out of town"

So hard with my girls not around me

It's definitely not a City of Hector party

'Cause all I see are stilettos

I guess I never got the memo

My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda homesick

Too much pressure and I'm nervous

That's when the DJ dropped my favorite tune

And a Metabolica song was on

And a Metabolica song was on

And a Metabolica song was on

So I put my hands up

They're playin' my song, the sperm cells fly away

I'm noddin' my head like, yeah

Movin' my hips like, yeah

I got my hands up, they're playin' my song

They know I'm gonna be okay

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Feel like hoppin' on a ride (on a ride)

Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight)

Something stops me every time (every time)

The DJ plays my song and I feel alright

So I put my hands up

They're playin' my song, the sperm cells fly away

I'm noddin' my head like, yeah (noddin' my head)

Movin' my hips like, yeah (ooh, yeah)

I got my hands up, they're playin' my song

They know I'm gonna be okay (gonna be okay)

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

So I put my hands up

They're playin' my song, the sperm cells fly away (flying away)

I'm noddin' my head like, yeah (noddin' my head like, yeah)

Movin' my hips like, yeah (movin' my hips like, yeah)

I got my hands up, they're playin' my song

They know I'm gonna be okay (I'm gonna be okay)

Yeah, it's a party in the zit

Yeah (ha-ha-ha-ha), it's a party in the zit

[1863-project]

WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DOG THIS?

[chloe-the-troublemaker]

The fandoms I love, updated edition <3

Old version: https://www.tumblr.com/chloe-the-troublemaker/738389624034033664/here-are-my-very-specific-6-hellholes-that-im?source=share

[elposting]

I HATE UNINTENTIONALLY REFERENCING/COPYING DIALOGUE FROM SHOWS IN MY FICS AND APPLYING THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE I DO NOT MEAN TO

[wheel-of-fish]

The Phantom of the Opera on TV (and streaming)!

I've been sitting on this list for two years in hopes of making it complete, but I realized if I wait that long I'll never post it. Let me know what I've missed!

Please note that I haven't watched all of these in their entirety and can't attest to their quality/content.

Adaptations

1983 - The Phantom of the Opera (TV movie starring Maximilian Schell, Jane Seymour)

1990 - The Phantom of the Opera (TV miniseries starring Charles Dance, Teri Polo)

Parodies

1961 - The Woody Woodpecker Show, S4. E13, "Phantom of the Horse Opera"

1962 - Beany and Cecil, S1 E12, "Phantom of the Horse Opera"

1966 - That Girl, S1 E14, "Phantom of the Horse Opera"

1968 - The Pink Panther, S1 E17, "Cherche le Phantom"

1971 - Night Gallery, S2 E4, "Phantom of What Opera?"

1974 - The Phantom of Hollywood (TV movie)

1987 - Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater, "The Phantom of the Theater"

1989 - Julie & Carol: Together Again, "Phantom of the Opry" sketch (TV special starring Carol Burnett, Julie Andrews)

1989 - Babar, S1 E13, "The Phantom"

1989 - Count Duckula, S1 E21, "Fright at the Opera"

1991 - Night Court, S9 E1 & E2, "A Guy Named Phantom" (clip)

1993 - Doug, S3 E5, "Doug's Huge Zit"

1994 - Lamb Chop in the Haunted Studio (TV movie starring Shari Lewis)

1995 - Goosebumps, S1 E7, "Phantom of the Auditorium"

1995 - Wishbone, S1 E37, "Pantin' at the Opera" (part 1 | part 2)

1998 - Anatole, S1 E9, "The Phantom of the Cheese"

1999 - The Triplets, S5 E9, "The Phantom of the Opera"

2000 - Are You Afraid of the Dark?, S7 E10, "The Tale of the Last Dance"

2000 - SpongeBob SquarePants, S2 E22, "Something Smells" (clip)

2010 - Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, S1 E7, "In Fear of the Phantom"

2015 - All Hail King Julien, S2 E15, "The Phantom of Club Moist"

2019 - If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, S2 E6, "If You Give a Mouse a Pumpkin"

2019 - The Tom and Jerry Show, S3 E76, "PhanTom of the Oompah"

Character appearances

1981 - The Munsters' Revenge, TV movie (clip)

1984 - Diff'rent Strokes, S6 E16, "Hooray for Hollywood - Part 1"

1997 - "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" music video (HD version)

2009 - Saturday Night Live, "Save Broadway" sketch

2010 - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S6 E7, "Who Got Dee Pregnant?" (clip)

2010 - Ghouls, multiple episodes (clip)

2020 - Saturday Night Live, "Airport Sushi" sketch

ALW musical references

2006 - Family Guy, S4 E23, "Deep Throats" (clip)

2012 - Glee, S3 E18, "Choke" (clip)

2015 - The Late Late Show, Sept. 10: "James Corden joins the cast of The Phantom of the Opera"

2015 - The Late Late Show, Sept. 23: "Crosswalk the Musical: The Phantom of the Opera"

2016 - The Goldbergs, S4 E8, "The Greatest Musical Ever Written" (clip)

2018 - Jeopardy!, Feb. 15 show (clip)

2018 - The Late Late Show, June 18: "Crosswalk the Musical: Andrew Lloyd Webber classics"

2019 - The Umbrella Academy, S1 E1, "We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals" (audio)

2020 - Dash & Lily, S1 E4, "Cinderella"

2020 - The Crown, S4 E9, "Avalanche" (clip)

2022 - The Masked Singer, S8 E4, "Andrew Lloyd Webber Night"

Other

1991 - David Copperfield: Secret of the Phantom of the Opera (TV special)

[autumnmist101]

Hermit Head-cannons

Hello! I've been wanting to share some of my hermitcraft head-cannons and seen @silly-st4rrr was wanting to see some. So, thank you to them for giving me a reason to share. <3

General Head-cannons:

Hybrid hermits can morph forms on command or intentionally keep certain parts of each form on them at all times. However, they can also morph or go into full form involuntarily from things like nightmares, flashbacks, or just being around similar creatures for too long.

All mammal hybrids must get vaccinations yearly.

Hybrids can form in a number of ways. Some formed from contact with a creature’s DNA, some are born with the form, while others have been. . . magically infused with a form.

Traffic life victors recall all memories and emotions and trauma from the games. Non-victors recall major parts and major emotions, however, forget most of what happened.

When someone perma-dies in the games, they are immediately teleported back to hermitcraft/empires.

All worlds are connected via void, however, can be traversed via rifts, portals, teleporting, and through a main hub with shopping areas. (how do you think hermits get new clothes?) Group/duo head-cannons:

Pearl and Grian were inseparable the first week she was on the server.

Hermit Parent Club (HPC): Doc, Keralis, Joe Hills, Impulse, Skizz, Tango, Bdubs, Stress, and Beef (newest member) meet once every 2 months.

Gem, Pearl, and Mumbo will make up problems for when anyone in the Hermit Parent Club needs to feel parental.

Mumbo still wants a tower building rematch with Gem, who refuses to give him one.

Boatem still has sleepovers together monthly.

Scar and Pearl have an avoidance of chorus fruit and refuse to explain why to Grian.

It is now a rule that the ZITS crew must take a minimum of iron armor to ‘naked whatever raiding’.

Mumbo and Pearl will secretly eat red-stone torches together. Mumbo is the supplier.

Joe will supply Mumbo with redstone when he needs it. (He doesn't ask why he needs it.)

Doc and Ren have been trying to create the perfect dog treat. Problem is neither of them can bake.

Pearl and Bdubs will confide in each other on days where they feel too tall/short.

Afab hermits meet for Ladies Night at least once a month.

Bdubs and Scar still call Cleo 'Mom' from time to time.

Cleo and Pearl will talk about the games and how they wish things could have been different in DL.

That's all for now. I do have individual hermit head-cannons, but this post is long enough. Hope you enjoyed! <3

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 11: Jeff

Word Count: 620/Rating: T/Pairing: none/CW: older Corroded Coffin, takes place in 2024, all of the guys are idiots/Tags: Jeff, Eddie Munson, Gareth, Grant, TikTok, modern!Corroded Coffin

Divider credit to @silkholland

Jeff has always been the brains of Corroded Coffin. He was the one who ensured the lighting was set before their performances at The Hideout back in high school. If an amp is faulty, he can fix it without batting an eye. Even in his middle school years, he was a proud member of the AV Club. 

But this?

Jeff squints at the phone screen, trying to navigate the For You page. He’s not exactly sure who ‘you’ is, because none of these videos seem remotely interesting to him. 

“What exactly am I doing here?”

“I dunno,” Eddie shrugs, scratching at the gray stubble on his cheek as he peers over Jeff’s shoulder. “Robin just said we need to make an account and to ‘connect with our younger fans.’”

Gareth has his own phone out to read off an article. “Says here that to create videos on TikTok, you press the little plus sign. Then you can add filters—”

“Filters?” Eddie’s brows furrow in confusion.��

“Smooths out wrinkles, hides zits, brightens your eyes.” Jeff fills him in, still focused on the app. “Okay, now what?”

Gareth scrolls a little more. “Music. You click ‘add sound’ and then choose the song you want.”

“Ooh, how about the one that goes ‘I’m working late, ‘cuz I’m a singer’?” Grant offers, singing in an awful falsetto. 

Jeff rolls his eyes. “Or we could…I dunno…use a Corroded Coffin song?” He taps the search box and types in the band’s name. “Hell and Back is our most popular on here, apparently.”

“How?” Eddie plucks the phone from Jeff’s grasp. “We haven’t even used this app before.”

“But our songs are on here,” Jeff explains, conjuring up all of his remaining patience. “And people use those with their videos.”

The other three band members nod, but Jeff’s willing to bet that none of them have any clue what’s going on. He takes the phone back from Eddie, selects the song, and turns to Gareth. “What’s next?”

“Hold down the red circle to record.” Gareth looks around at his bandmates. “Any ideas about what we wanna do first?”

The room plunges into silence until Eddie speaks up. “This isn’t the nudie website, right?”

Grant snorts. “No, that’s OnlyFans.”

“That was a quick answer, Granty-Boy. A little too quick.”

“Beavis! Butthead!” Jeff snaps, effectively shutting them up. “Robin’s email said we should just introduce ourselves and say that we’re excited to be on TikTok.”

He aims the camera at Eddie first. “Go ahead and say your name.”

“Eddie.”

“Christ on a cracker.” He massages the bridge of his nose. “Try actually greeting people. Like, ‘hey, I’m Eddie.’”

“Coulda just said that,” Eddie grumbles, but he looks into the camera and repeats what Jeff said. The rest of the band follows suit as Jeff directs them.  

When it’s Jeff’s turn, he smiles and turns the camera on himself. “I’m Jeff. Welcome to Corroded Coffin’s TikTok!” He moves his finger off of the record button. “All right, let’s see what we got.”

“Go ahead and say your name.”

“Eddie.”

“Christ on a cracker. Try actually greeting people. Like, ‘hey, I’m Eddie.’”

“Coulda just said that. Okay, hey, I’m Eddie.”

“Great. Okay, now Grant.”

“I’m Grant. Super excited to finally be on OnlyFans.”

“Grant!”

“Sorry, I mean TikTok.”

“Gare?”

“Hi, I’m Gareth. I like long walks on the beach, outdoor concerts—”

“This isn’t your personal dating profile.”

“Just making conversation.”

“You’re all hopeless. Anyway. I’m Jeff. Welcome to Corroded Coffin’s TikTok!”

Jeff glances up from the video, cringing as it starts playing on a loop. Whatever Robin had in mind for this social media endeavor, it probably wasn’t this. 

“Hey, Gareth?”

“Ya?”

“Can you Google how to edit videos on TikTok?”

--

[wheels-of-despair]

Three Days Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Three days after Eddie and Evil Woman met for the very first time… there was a jock encounter they'll never forget. Contains: Switching POVs, nerds in love before they know they're in love, jock slander, snark, feels, hand-holding for the very first time. Words: 900ish

Three days.

Eddie Munson had a good thing going with the new girl for three days before the jocks swooped in.

He should've known this would happen. Should've known someone would warn her away from him before he could completely win her over. That she'd see what a freak he was and run screaming into the arms of some handsome meat-head in a letterman jacket.

He'd done a great job so far, at sprinting through the halls between classes to be there waiting for her when she came out of hers. Intercept her before the jocks or the cheerleaders could show her what life could be like as Hawkins High Royalty or whatever.

He just… he thought this one was different. She was funny, and pretty, and smart, and liked teasing him, but not in a mean way… as far as he could tell. He thought maybe she would see him as Eddie, the funny, passionate, metal-loving Dungeon Master. Not Eddie the Freak, the filthy, no-good devil-worshipper from the trailer park.

He'd been held back by Mr. Miller when he tried to leave his last class before lunch. A minute and a half was all it took for them to swoop in and steal her away. When he finally got to the hallway where her classroom was, hoping she was waiting for him… she was with them.

She leaned her back against a row of lockers and stared up at some jock asshole whose name was probably Biff. Who knows, it's not Eddie's job to keep up with them. But he felt his heart sink into the floor when he saw how intently she was studying the big blonde's face. It was over for him. It was nice while it lasted. Add another name to the long list of people who wouldn't be caught dead associating with the town freak.

And then her eyes drifted between the two meat-heads and met Eddie's. Something flashed through them. What had they told her about him? Was she scared now? Or was that… was that a smile twitching at the corner of her mouth?

Eddie took a cautious step closer, and caught some of the speech that was being delivered to her.

"…he lives in a nasty trailer park with his drug-dealing dad," one of the jockstraps claimed. Eddie had mentioned an uncle, but not his dad or where he lived. Like any of that was his fault, even if it was true.

You'd only known Eddie Munson for three days, but you were obsessed with him. You'd met him in your first class of your first day at Hawkins High and become immediately enamored. You wanted to know everything about him. And he didn't seem to mind. He met you outside after every class, and you could tell he'd gone out of his way to get there. He was winded half the time, which was kind of adorable. You only got to see him for approximately one minute between each class, but it made your days bearable.

You'd been waiting for him so you could walk to the cafeteria together for lunch, but two jocks had cornered you to warn you away from him. Did they choose today because Eddie wasn't there to ward them off? Were they afraid of him? Or is it because you were wearing something a little more low-cut than usual today?

You smiled awkwardly and nodded as the duo delivered their sermon, wondering where the hell the subject of it was. You stared at a zit on the big blonde one's forehead until someone rounded the corner behind him and caught your eye. Eddie! You were so happy to see him. But he didn't come rescue you. He just stood there. You could see the blood drain from his face. Does he know what they're saying about him? Is this standard operating procedure at Hawkins High? Warn the new girls away from the freak?

"…and his freaky little 'club' is totally a cult." You have to fight to hide your smile. You were its newest member, and were really looking forward to your first official meeting with The Hellfire Club on Friday night. Eddie had even told you that you could come early, so he could explain things while he set up.

"Oh, wow," you say with fake fascination, trying not to laugh. Which is hard, because you're staring into the wide eyes of Eddie, who stands frozen a few feet behind the preachers. "Like a sex cult?"

Eddie's deer-in-headlights eyes widen, then crinkle as he smirks.

"Well, not at present, but we're always open to trying new things."

The two jocks whip their heads around and spot him standing behind him. He crosses his arms and fixes them with his most devilish grin.

"Excellent," you grin. "Do you think we could discuss it over lunch?"

"Hell yeah," he smiles, emphasis on the hell.

"Thanks for the warning, boys," you say, clapping each of the jocks on the shoulder as you step between them.

"M'lady." Eddie bows dramatically and offers you his hand.

You take it.

He looks almost surprised, but recovers quickly and closes his fingers around yours. You set off toward the cafeteria together, swinging your clasped hands between you and leaving two very confused jocks in your wake.

You're not sure which one of you is grinning harder.

[batbabydamian]

DC April 2024 Solicitations - Comics Featuring Damian! 🦇

BATMAN AND ROBIN #8

4/9/24

Written by Joshua Williamson

Art and Cover by Simone Di Meo

Variant Covers: Kael Ngu, Ejikure, Jim Lee, Nikola Čižmešija (1:25)

As Batman finds himself in the clutches of a new cult that worships Man-Bat, Robin continues his own investigation into his High School's connections to Shush! Can the father and son dynamic duo uncover Man-Bat and Shush's master plans before Gotham pays the price?!

WONDER WOMAN #6

4/16/24

Written by Tom King

Art by Daniel Sampere and Belén Ortega

Variant Covers: Julian Totino Tedesco, Pablo Villalobos, Joshua “Sway” Swaby (1:25)

Wonder Woman vs. The Sovereign! After being captured by a team of villains, Diana finds herself at the mercy of the scariest of them all. Unbeknownst to our hero, the Sovereign has been pulling her strings since the very beginning of our tale, and now it's time for her to see the world his way as she falls under the influence of the Lasso of Lies! Plus, Trinity visits the past and unexpectedly changes the future!

NIGHTWING #113/Legacy #300

4/16/2024

Written by Tom Taylor

Art by Various

Variant Covers: Bruno Redondo (original cover+1:25), Dan Mora, Jim Lee (Artist Spotlight), Jamal Campbell, Serg Acuna

Since the 1940's, you've seen him go from acrobat to orphan; from Dick Grayson to Robin; from Robin to Nightwing. You've seen him work alongside the universe's most powerful heroes, against existence's most sinister villains. You have seen Dick Grayson do so many things, but now, in his 300th issue, you will see him.. well, you'll just have to pick up the issue and find out. Join us for this legacy 300 milestone!

*DC’S SPRING BREAKOUT!

*Cover feature - Damian hang gliding in the bg :)

4/30/2024

Written by Meghan Fitzmartin, Cameron Chittok, Joey Esposito, Morgan Hampton, Patrick R. Young, Tom Krajewski, Mike Barr, and more!

Art by Kenya Danino, Vasco Georgiev, Paul Pellietier, Nico Bascuñan, and more!

Cover by John Timms

Variant Covers by Dan Mora

Spring has sprung! Flowers are blooming, bees are buzzing, Harley is breaking King Shark out of Belle Reve prison. all is right in the DCU as both heroes and villains face all sorts of different spring breaks. Breaking out of a coffin? Lex Luthor has that covered. Spring break training? Send in Superman! Breaking out of your shell? Batman and Mr. Freeze explore that possibility through a connection in their shared past. Breaking down a worthy adversary? Katana and her sword of souls might just be able to tackle that. And it wouldn't be a spring break without a Teen Titans beach trip! All these and more in DC's Spring Breakout! -eight breakout stories to put a spring in your step (is there a zit breakout story? You'll have to read to find out!)

TEEN TITANS: STARFIRE

7/2/2024

Written by Kami Garcia

Art by Gabriel Picolo

Kori Anders' summer job at a ritzy Santa Monica beach club is fun, but she doesn't care about keeping up with the current trends, and she's not interested in rushing around to all the parties. She'd rather explore her inexplicable draw to the stars or hang out with her new friend, Victor Stone. Her sister, Kira, on the other hand, is the most popular girl around. With the hottest clothes, an even hotter boyfriend (the Tate Fairweather), and a take-no-prisoners attitude, she's Kori's opposite in every way. Their summer heats up when Tate's uncle asks the girls to participate in an EDS study his pharmaceutical company is running. During treatment, Kori develops some strange powers she never had before...and she might not be the only one. Can Kori persuade her sister to trust her before it's too late? And when a carload of teens with their own powers come looking for her to warn her about a creepy stalker, she'll learn that trust is a two-way street!

[best-fictional-band-poll]

The top FOUR bands from this poll will go through! Good luck!

[persephoneprice]

you know what i’d love to talk about? petty drama between the academy students and silly headcanons. therefore i am presenting my list of academy drama between the students and silly headcanons (not to be taken too seriously):

→ festus creed is definitely the local plug. once business really starts taking off, he brings in pup harrington as his assistant. pup gets fired because he smokes too much to actually do the things festus tells him too.

→ when they were 14, livia cardew invited everyone to her birthday party except vipsania sickle because vipsania took gym too seriously and made livia cry during basketball. they didn’t speak for 3 months.

→ persephone price and felix ravinstill lowkey have a rivalry because they both want to be festus’s best friend. one day when they’re about 12, persephone takes the seat next to festus in panem history class and felix began calling her ‘pimple price’ due to his irritation and her unfortunately having a large zit.

→ urban canville is the student that argues with the teacher because he always thinks he knows better. everyone groans when he opens his mouth because they know there’s no stopping it. until finally lysistrata of all people had enough and called him out and he sulked for a month and refused to speak in class at all.

→ hilarious heavensbee does drag at pluribus bell’s club.

→ someone (apollo ring) started a rumor that the ravinstill family has been in power so long because they do ritual cult sacrifice. felix finally got sick of it and stood up in front of everyone to explain that he had never sacrificed any animals for power nor had any member of his family per his knowledge.

→ arachne crane was in a toxic situationship with juno phipps for a good 6 months. no one mentions it out of fear of having to relive the drama.

→ dennis fling tried out for the track team every year and never made it. it became a running joke amongst the students to say you’re going to pull a dennis fling if you know you’re going to fail something.

please feel free to share your silliest headcanons or ideas for petty drama!!

[joslincox]

Dancing Cell

Cover of: Dancing Queen by ABBA

Ooh

You can dance

You can jive

Having the time of your life

Ooh, see that blood cell

Watch that scene

Digging the dancing cell

Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for a place to go

Where they play the right music

Getting in the swing

You come to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young, and the music's high

With a bit of rock music

Everything is fine

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance

You are the dancing cell

Young and sweet

Only seventeen

Dancing cell

Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah

You can dance

You can jive

Having the time of your life

Ooh, see that blood cell

Watch that scene

Digging the dancing cell

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on

Leave 'em burning and then you're gone

Looking out for another

Anyone will do

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance

You are the dancing cell

Young and sweet

Only seventeen

Dancing cell

Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah

You can dance

You can jive

Having the time of your life

Ooh, see that blood cell

Watch that scene

Digging the dancing cell

Digging the dancing cell

[dollbitezzz]

guys what if drix was real? guys Drix

GENDER

Male

SPECIES

Pill (Amoxicillin)

OCCUPATION

Police Officer (film)

Private Eye Detective (spin-off series)

CHARACTER INFO.

ALIASES

Drix, Drips (By Ozzy), Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedramine, Drixy (By Maria.), Drixy-boy (By Auntie Histamine), The Big Pill (General Malaise), Bubble Butt/Beanhead (Ozzy), Pilly (Kai)

PETS

Dander

FRIENDS

Osmosis Jones, Leah Estrogen, Chief of the FPD, Maria Amino, Dander (Pet), Chief Gluteus (Sometimes), Paul Spryman (Sometimes), The Mole, Auntie Histamine (Aunt)

ENEMIES

Thrax, germs and viruses

PRODUCTION INFO.

VOICED BY

David Hyde Pierce (film)

Jeff Bennett (series)
Jim Meskimen (Tom and Jerry Meet Osmosis Jones)

FIRST APPEARANCE

Home with Hector

LAST APPEARANCE

Journey to the Center of the Tooth

FILM APPEARANCE

Osmosis Jones

MORE

Others like you also viewed

Thrax

Osmosis Jones

Leah Estrogen

Mayor Phlegmming

Main Page

Tom Colonic

Frank DeTorre

Maria Amino

Ozzy & Drix

Drixenol Koldreliff, or Drix for short, is the deuteragonist of the film – he's a a red and yellow, boxy, and robotic cold pill who is Ozzy's best friend in the show Ozzy and Drix.

Appearance

Drix is a red and yellow cold pill with a robotic body. His chest is red with a yellow plus sign in the center surrounded in a yellow circle which opens up, revealing all kinds of medical bullets used for his cannon. He has yellow arms and while his hands are red, Drix's left hand is converted into a cannon, which he uses to put out inflammation, dry snout, shoot medical bullets or grenades that he keeps in his chest, etc. His face is the shape of a pill where the upper part of his face his red and the lower part where his mouth is located is yellow. Drix has white eyes with black pupils and a small mouth. In addition, Drix does not have any legs where he instead moves through effervescent propulsion ejected from his feet, similar to how rockets are ejected.

Personality

Drix is intelligent and dedicated to his work. Straight-laced and by-the-book, he is in opposition with the crude humor and unorthodox methods of Ozzy, but respects Ozzy as a partner due to his dedication to fighting diseases. He often seems curious of his surroundings and seems to enjoy recognition, flexing enthusiastically in photos. He can be seen as a show-off and even pretentious due to his professional and often complicated speech and attitude, though he means well and is overall a pleasant and heroic person.

Osmosis Jones (film)

Drix serves a role of Ozzy's sidekick in the film. Drix arrives in Frank at the request of the Mayor's assistant to help cover up the cold symptoms that would hurt his reelection campaign. After his arrival, he initially followed his time-released schedule, visiting the throat and then the nose.

He and Ozzy initially have tension between the two of them, but after seeing that Jones may have a point in suspecting a virus is the cause of these symptoms, he opens up his heart to him. When the Mayor suggests finding another officer for him to work with, he hesitantly objects, saying he'll stay with Jones. The two have a sincere conversation in the car afterwards about Ozzy's bad reputation after ejecting a harmful bacteria from Frank in an unfortunate situation. Drix says he was right to help Frank and the two start to like each other a little more.

After gathering info from Chill at the Liver, he and Ozzy go up to the zit club to confront Thrax. Drix, having a more lighthearted moment, has to fit in by dancing, to which he seems embarassed. He says he has "no left feet," but Ozzy encourages him and he ends up enjoying himself a little while stalling for time.

Getting back to business, he busts in on Thrax and the germs just before they hurt Jones. After Drix struggles to open the capsule, Ozzy unleashes one of Drix's medical bullets in the club, popping the pimple and wiping out everyone except themselves and Thrax.

While Ozzy is fired, Drix is ordered out of the body by the mayor for what happened at the Zit in an attempt to cover the seriousness of Thrax's infection. What the mayor says to him seems to take down his self esteem temporarily, so much that he was willing to accept his fate without Ozzy's encouragement. Just before Drix leaves Frank by way of the Bladder, though, he teams back up with Ozzy. After discovering that Thrax is alive, the two have a confrontation against him in the Uvula.

Thrax escapes, causing Drix to launch Ozzy after him in a desperate attempt to save Frank. As the fight went down, Frank's organs began to fail as he reached fatal temperatures. Just in time, Ozzy returns with the missing DNA bead. As they're being awarded by the City for saving Frank, Ozzy welcomes his new partner to stay in Frank and continue to help out. Drix gladly accepts.

Ozzy & Drix

A few years after the movie Osmosis Jones, he and Drix are transferred by a mosquito bite to

Hector Cruz

. After saving Hector from the nasty Scarlet Fever virus that came with them, the two decided to stay and help Hector from becoming a disgusting degenerate like Frank. His arm cannon also appears to be more useful, containing various gadgets, including:

•

A phone (various episodes)

•

a claw-like appendage (used once in Triumph of the supplements and again in a Cold Day In Hector)

•

an egg beater (used in Ozzy Jr.)

•

a film projector (used in an out of body experience part 1)

•

a milkshake maker (used in an out of body experience part 2)

•

A jackhammer-like device (used in Journey to the Center of the Tooth.)

•

a pen (used in Tricky Ricardo.)

•

a screwdriver-like device (used in Street Up)

•

a Gatling gun-like weapon that fires pill-like ammo (used in A Cold Day in Hector)

•

a flamethrower-like device (used in A Cold Day in Hector)

•

a water cannon-like device (used in Aunti Histamine)

[jacksprostate]

My ears are ringing, Bob is tilting my face up, looking me in the eye, his lips are moving like he's an angel sent by god, surrounded in haze and sweat, his beautiful perfect part doubled the same as his eyes. I am not a proper prophet. My face is slack, putty in the big moosie's bruised knuckle hands.

He'd signed up to fight me. The others, they've been avoiding it nowadays. They look at me with respect I don't think I've earned and fear I think I have. That kid, that angel faced baby, no one has seen him since I broke the third rule of fight club. It is my proximity to Tyler that protects me from retaliation, I think. Even though I've not seen him in weeks.

Bob is probably the only member of fight club who thinks I don't have balls.

Bob struggled with the sixth rule for a while. The first time I saw him in that basement, switched on over to his perfect heyday of a Tuesday, the first time I saw his tits swinging around you would have thought I saw god. There was the man who cradled me to sleep the past few years. There was the man who cracked open the miserable remains of his life to let me in, right into his large, loving chest.

I'm not sure, actually, if Bob thinks I don't have balls, or if he thinks I've accepted the cancer and chose to let them kill me. The way he looks at me sometimes, like I'm something admirable, like I'm a dead man walking. I wonder if we've become the same to each other. Does he see me how I see him?

Bob, the big moosie, the big cheesebread, he corners me after club sometimes. It's not so much that I let him as that with Tyler gone, no one is tugging me out. These guys, they think every move is purposeful. I'm just some plastic waste caught in the wind. Drifting. I've been left to run all this on my own, I know Tyler's out franchising, it boils something bad in me. And Bob is here, Bob's arms have always let me rest.

Bob, Bob, Bob. He's finally stopped trying to push his testosterone too hard. He says, he's seeking balance. He looks to me and I have nothing. He's not getting his tits cut open. He doesn't want to lose range of motion, he says, doesn't want to risk losing fight club.

He says, "I don't know what your name is. Not anymore. But, Cornelius, Tyler, you gave me something to wake up for. I think about the heat of the stage, now I can go to the dank hell of the basement. I think about my wife, I think about you. I think about how my perfect dehydrated shrink wrapped body wouldn't've been able to beat you to shit fifteen minutes ago."

We are out on the steps of the bar, his voice is still coming in discordant with my ears a half dimension to the left.

I lean into him. I let him tuck my face between his tits, bare, warm and sweaty. I shudder and cry. I cry what's left of my brain out, and Bob holds me like I'm crystal, like I'm an antique glass penguin from the world's most prestigious menagerie. Like if he squeezes my skull too hard, it'll pop open like a zit, crack like an egg from an eagle pumped with DDT. I'm over easy. Sunny side up, he turns my face back to his and lets his tears fall into mine.

"God, you're crazy," Bob says, voice warbling, like it's some realization he's been slowly coming to, something he's not wanted to face, but now he has and he can get over it. "You're like, fifteen different cats in one tiny bag. You're not doing well at all."

I tell Bob, I'm sorry I don't have testicular cancer.

I'm sorry I lied to you, Bob Paulson. I'm sorry I used your misery and sympathy to sleep like a baby. Like one of those little commercial angels.

Bob's eyes are small in his face, wet, crushed up by his cheeks and brows. His thumbs wipe the wrinkles from mine until I'm soft, inert like uncooked porcelain. If he wants me to be, I'll be it. I tell him that. Bob, if you want it, I'll chop my balls off. It would be fair. Fair like us strewn out on the basement floor.

"I already knew," Bob says. "That's why I knocked your head in tonight. It's okay."

It's not, I say.

Bob says, "It is. I told you, at some point, I started noticing. Maybe it was my fault I didn't notice before. You were miserable enough that I couldn't tell, though, and I think that makes the difference."

We cry on each other some more. We're sitting, I'm in his lap, but I push up to cry over his shoulder. It's different. I let myself clutch at his greased hair. Bob, I tell him. Tyler left me, he brought me all the way here and he left me, but I think he's still around. I miss him. He treats me like dogshit, and I miss him.

Maybe it's because Bob's big, warm hand is holding, cradling me in my own head.

He says, "I think I know things about you that you don't like. I don't think you've ever knowingly spoken as much as you have just now, huh."

I'd love to say no. I do presentations at work. I tell single-serving friends on airplanes what I do. I read out the rules of fight club on nights I'm there and Tyler's not. I'd love to say no.

I'm not lying to Bob anymore, though. So I introduce myself, instead, and he says, "Okay." He says, "Okay. Let me bring you home."

[scheissehund]

Sick to bastard death of having hormonal breakouts. Oohh look at me my hormones are kinda wonky so now I have painful zits on my cheeks like a teenager again. I'm fucking 23. I'm geriatric in Club Penguin years. This shouldn't be happening to me.

[spibberboi]

Espresso - Ch. 2

The Zit

A/N: Thank you so much for those who have been reading! I’m really enjoying writing this story for you guys! And thank you to everyone for showing your love and support! I really appreciate it!

Warnings: character death, death by radiation

Finally it was Friday. Enji closed up shop and beamed as he looked around his shop, searching for a good outfit to wear. Maybe he could wear his favorite outfit.. he had altered it over the years, making sure it would fit him as he carefully removed stitching and resewed it. No, that was too old school.. Enji sighed, walking to the back to look through his clothing wracks.

After a little bit of searching, he smiled and picked out a nice cocktail dress, one that was black, strapless and cut off right at the middle of his thighs. Quickly, the foxtail changed into it and smiled before walking to one of the floor-length mirrors to look at himself. Luckily, this one had a cutout specifically so his tail would be able to be free. “Perfect.. this seems nice for a meeting. At least for where I’m going anyways..” He said to himself, soon walking over to a display of shoes he had at the front of the store. He hummed as he looked over the shoes. Luckily, all of the display shoes were his own, so he could take them as he pleased.

He settled on a pair of black pair of Ellie’s, specifically the Diana Boot style with laces. In just a few moments, he had them on and then walked back to the mirror to look at himself. Enji beamed as he saw himself in the mirror, biting his lip as he turned a bit and looked at himself. “Daayyuuuum~ Maybe you’ll find a date tonight~”

He laughed at himself then and shook his head, rolling his eyes a bit. “Yeah right.. once they know what you are they take off running.. whatever.”

With that being said, Enji collected his truck keys and purse, then he locked all of the doors before he left.

The journey up to the Zit wasn’t too awful, being it was just in downtown Forehead. The drive was peaceful, considering it was Friday. Already though, he could see the traffic lined up by the club. Luckily, he got reserved parking for these kinda pop-up clubs and he parked, then got out and locked his truck before he got out and walked around to go inside. The music was thumping and the atmosphere was lovely. Everyone was just trying to have fun while the club lasted. Enji smiled as he weaved through the crowd, going to the bar and getting himself a drink.

He looked around, then he sighed. But that’s when he spotted one of his friends and smiled. Alejandro La Muerte, a black mold spore who was known for his work on the backstreets and underground. He ran the biggest fight championships in town, with the fighters he trained being the ones to always make it to the top.

Enji smiled as he walked over to the mold spore, punching his arm.

Alejandro gasped and turned, his two eyes looking around before he looked down and saw Enji, then he laughed and threw his arms around the virus. “Enji, my friend! It is so good to see you! Where have you been, amigo?”

Enji laughed some as he wrapped an arm around Alejandro, being careful not to spill his drink in the other. “Oh you know, around. I have a shop to run and orders to fill so you know I don’t really get to do much.”

Alejandro nodded, standing with his arm around Enji as he always did. There were no romantic feelings, but it was so funny watching people around them try and decipher if they were an item. Enji could see it on the group’s faces that had been talking to Alejandro originally, which had earned him some envious stares from some of the girls that were standing there. It just made Enji laugh.

Alejandro then excused himself and they went to a booth off in the corner, sitting down. “So, I’m assuming you’re here for that meeting?” The spore asked, tilting his head some. His cytoplasmic hair moved like a lava lamp around him and glimmered in the dim lights of the club. Enji had always wondered what it was like to be just a spore, it seemed fun. But then his attention went back to the question.

“Yeah, I heard some big shot was hosting it tonight. No one knows his name though except the boys he’s been working with.” Enji said, looking at his drink before taking a sip.

Alejandro nodded a bit and crossed his arms, sitting back in his seat. “Yeah, some of his boys are the ones I trained a few years ago. Their head honcho sits up in a private sweat gland all day, talking about the glory days ‘n shit like that.” Alejandro then leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “And I heard this dude took him out. Sliced him clean up.”

Enji’s eyes widened as he heard that before his ears laid back some. “Sliced him up? With what, a knife? Usually that doesn’t even matter, the bacteria always coagulate and reform.”

“It wasn’t with no knife, amigo.. dude’s got claws, and sharp ones at that.” Alejandro started, “The boys that witnessed it said it smelled like he burned the honcho up as he sliced ‘n diced him.”

The foxtail’s eyes widened again and he looked to his drink, thinking about a few days ago. The claws.. Thrax. An unknown virus, suddenly in the body and causing fucking havoc everywhere he went. Enji sat back and crossed his arms a bit, looking back up to Alejandro. “I think I saw this guy a couple days ago.. he ran into my shop and hid out for a bit from the cops.”

“He what?!” Alejandro exclaimed, standing up and looking at Enji with his two eyes wide. “Dude, you can’t be serious! You’ve already met this guy and he didn’t try to fuckin’ kill you?”

Enji shook his head, “Nah, he was chill. Made off with one of my shirts, but he was chill.”

Alejandro stared in disbelief. Usually viruses killed other viruses when they encounter them, but this.. was so different. The spore then sighed a bit. “Christ man.. you are so lucky. Did he say anything to you? Threaten you any?”

“No, he actually.. was being nice. I know what you’re thinkin’; viruses hate other viruses, but he.. didn’t look at me like he wanted to kill me. He looked scared.. like I was when I first got here.” Enji said, using one of his claws to stir his drink. Alejandro grimaced a bit and shook his head. “Scared? Dude, he was probably playing you. You ain’t like other viruses, you don’t live to kill humans, you never did.”

Enji sighed at that, “Yeah, I know. But he.. I don’t know. It was in the back room, so it was dark.”

The mold spore scoffed and soon stood up, “Well either way, we better hope immunity catches him soon, or we’re all gonna be dead.”

Enji knew Alejandro was right. He knew someone needed to get a hold on this guy, stop him before it was too late. The party thumped on as they talked about more mundane things; dating, social life.. anything else. Enji’s mind kept creeping back to Thrax though, thinking about the virus’ motives, why he lived to kill. He had met plenty of other viruses in his lifetime, all ones that ended up with a vaccine.. but it had been so long since he had seen a new one, one as deadly as Thrax. The more he thought about it, the more his brain started to hurt and he sighed, deciding he needed to stop.

“Oi, I think someone germs are heading up to that meeting. You should probably go on,” Alejandro said as he looked over at the stairs leading up to seemingly a conference room. Enji looked up and his ears laid back some. He protected these germs, kept them safe from immunity and FPD. He was.. a leader of sorts, and he took in germs, helped them get back on their feet.

He sighed then and got up, finishing off his drink before he slowly made his way over to the staircase and then up to the conference room. Alejandro was following in tow. Being another major figure in this body, he knew he needed to attend too.

The pair sat down at the far end of the table, Enji immediately crossing his legs and arms as he did so. In just a few moments, he was served drinks and a snack, such as he always was. He thanked the germ that served him and sipped on his drink, looking up just as the door opened again. Enji didn’t notice at first, but there was a certain blue cell harboring one eye that looked.. awfully familiar. Close to a white blood cell that frequented his shop for clothes and the suchlike.

‘Nah, that can’t be Ozzy.. hm.. Whatever.’ Enji thought to himself, continuing to sip his drink.

Then, there he was. The long black coat, the black jeans and boots, and then that damn shirt he took. Thrax walked in with a smile and sunglasses on his face, soon pushing the shades up onto his head as he looked around at the group. “Well, well, well.. this had a better turnout than I thought.”

Everyone looked at Thrax, staying quiet as he stood at the head of the table and started talking. Enji sipped on his drink some, thinking to himself about what this dude may possibly want.

“My plan is simple. Three teams will move through the cranial artery, and one through the nasal passage. We are going to the brain, baby! And we are gonna steal us one of these.” Thrax said, soon holding up a chain that had little, glowing beads in it. Oh shit. Enji knew exactly what that was. “Now this little sucker comes from a place called the hypothalamus gland.”

Then, that blue cell spoke up, “The Hypo-Hoppo-what?” Enji sighed, shaking his head as a collective groan took over the room. Thrax looked up in annoyance, clearly not liking how this cell was acting. “Hypothalamus. Hypo-thal-a-mus. Controls the temperature for the entire body. We are gonna march right in there, and we are going to take the prize. Then my man Frank's gonna heat up like a sidewalk on a summer day.”

Enji quickly looked at Alejandro, who returned the look. This guy was going to kill them all.. Thrax then spoke again, “Now all of this is going down tonight, so I want everyone to be prepared.”

The blue cell piped up once more, and Enji knew this was going to get bad, “Tonight? Uh, can't we do it next week? Me and Madcow got tickets to Wrestlemania.”

Thrax growled once more and walked around the table slowly, holding up each bead as he continued to talk, “Ya see this? This here little DNA bead comes from a little girl in Riverside, California. Didn't like to wash her hands. Took me three whole weeks. And this one. Nice lady in Detroit, Motown. Six days flat. Then there's this old guy in Philly. I killed him in seventy-two hours. Yeah.. I'm getting better as I go along, baby, but the problem is- I never set a record. Until my man Frank, that is. I'm gonna take him down in 48 hours. Get my own chapter in the medical books!”

The foxtail virus groaned and he ran his hand over his face. This dude was going to die, he just knew it.. but then, he felt eyes on him, eyes from everyone at the table. Enji looked up. They were expecting him to say something, something against this. None of them wanted to die, and he had spent so long protecting them. He sighed and finally stood up, downing the rest of his drink.

“And just how do you think this is gonna play out? Sure, it’s not difficult to get to the brain and the hypothalamus, but there’s so many other variables you need to think of here. Obviously, the bodies you’ve downed have had careless cells in them, ones that were either ready to go, or too childish to know what was going on.”

Enji walked around the table then, going to a blackboard that was in the room and starting to write on it. Alejandro grinned as he sat in his seat, knowing that Enji was going to school this Thrax guy.

“We have strict security here. The moment that FPD finds out that something is going on up in the hypothalamus, you gotta run fuckin’ quick, or they will be on you faster than a chicken hawk.” Enji started listing out details about the layout of the brain, labeling connections, areas and the suchlike. “And these immunity cells done play. We have survived the measles, chicken pox, you name it.”

“And like I told you the other day, if this is happening tonight, how the hell are you gonna get out?” He asked, looking at Thrax then. The virus looked like he was about to bust. He obviously didn’t like being talked down to, told why his plan might not work here. Enji sighed, “Look, I’m not saying it ain’t a good plan. What I’m saying is your ass is gonna get caught up in this. I have people I have to protect here, I’ve been doing it for years.”

Thrax just crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes a bit, growling a touch before the foxtail continued, “And I told you the other day, Frank lives out in the countryside. He doesn’t take care of himself and his only options for us to run to is Shane and uncle Bob. So either, you need to cut this shit out, or you need to get out of here the moment you can. I’m not going to let you do this.”

The crimson virus just stared at Enji, those eyes glaring daggers. But.. they were dilated. They were heavy in thought, heavy in function. Enji just looked him over for a moment, crossing his arms. Then the whispering started around them, to which Enji looked away to all of the germs talking. No other body had a virus like Enji to take care of them, no one to ensure safety for after the body is gone.

“Listen.. I know what it’s like to have to live out there without a host, to wonder how you’re gonna survive. I’ve been there. I think we all have. Just.. think about it, okay?” He said, his expression softening a bit before he looked at the germs around the table. Most of us have families and other people we gotta worry about. It ain’t always kill or be killed anymore, man.”

Thrax’s eyes widened a bit as he heard Enji speak. He looked around the room at the wary looks on the germs’ faces. Enji was.. unfortunately right. And that pissed him off. He grew up with that ‘kill or be killed’ mentality, it’s not just something he could shake off. His mama was cruel, his dad was never around. And any of his siblings were the same way with him. Except for his older sister.. Aniya was a total saint, and she taught him some of the good things in life. Even protected him from mama a few times..

Enji reminded him of her, trying to steer him out of the way of trouble, out of the way of for-certain death. He frowned, but his expression softened as he looked down.

Then that damn cell piped up one more time, “Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. I got one more question here. Is there anything that, say, a white blood cell could do to stop this evil plan? You know, hypothetically speaking, that is.”

Everyone turned to look at him again, all clearly annoyed that this guy kept running his mouth. It was starting to get really suspicious.. but Enji’s keen ears finally picked up just who that voice belonged to. The question asked pieced the puzzle together for him and his eyes widened.

“Th-there’s nothing. Because it ain’t happening.” Enji said, quickly looking at Alejandro. ‘Get them out of here’, he signed to him, and the mold spore nodded. “Alright, germs. Meeting’s over. Get out.” Alejandro said, standing up and watching as they all started to file out. Thrax just stared, growling a bit before he grabbed the cell as he walked by. Enji’s breath caught in his throat then and he moved.

“You ain’t no damn germ..” the virus growled, shaking him a bit. That’s when Ozzy’s badge fell, and the whole room gasped.

“That ain’t no germ, that’s a cop!” Yelled one of them, to which Enji moved fast. Just as Ozzy was about to be grabbed, he was tackled and they went out the membrane window to the side, falling down and rolling across the dance floor. Ozzy groaned and he sat up, looking at the virus. “Enji, what the hell?! I had ‘im! You asshole-“

“No the fuck you didn’t, you idiot! You almost got yourself killed! Where the fuck is that pill you’ve been runnin’ ‘round with? You gotta get out of here now!” Enji said, soon standing and then pulling Osmosis up to his feet. He started to shove him along, towards the door.

“Enji, cut it out! We gotta stop him! You heard his plan, he’s gonna kill all of us!” Ozzy yelled over the music, but the foxtail virus didn’t listen.

“Ozzy, go home! If you stick around here, this Zit will go up in flames and you will fucking reap the consequences and you know it! The mayor has already been onto you about shit recently!”

Osmosis just growled and looked around, then yelled for DriX to come on and follow him. The pill snapped out of his dancing stupor and followed behind. It was too late though, the germs came running and Enji gasped, his eyes going wide. “Run! Go, go!”

The trio took off running, and he prayed that Alejandro already got out. He hated that this was going to happen, but in order for everyone to be safe, it needed to be done. While Ozzy and DriX ran out, Enji stopped and turned, looking at the germs that were tailing them through the club. Suddenly, black tendrils rose up from the ground and wrapped around their ankles, starting to penetrate their cytoplasm and burn them up from the inside out.

Thrax watched the reaction from the top of the stairs, his eyes widening as he saw the germs start to have cracks open all over them that glowed a bright green. Enji looked pained as he did his thing, like he hated it.

‘That’s right.. he’s been here a long time. These were probably his friends.’ Thrax thought to himself as he watched the germs deteriorate from the inside out, melting into mush on the floor. The tendrils retracted, and Thrax could see how they swirled back up and around Enji’s legs, returning to looking like markings. And the smell.. god it was familiar.

One guy Thrax had been taking down.. he remembered now. The guy had cancer, and they were using a radiation treatment on him. The smell of radiation poisoning, killing cells and cancer clusters alike was something that Thrax could never forget. Enji was.. something else entirely.

He watched as the foxtail turned and walked out of the club then. This was going to be a lot harder than he anticipated..