#the wormhole gets too loud for me to hear them

[according2thelore]

I think in es/ls verse that ls!sam would absolutely refuse to tell either of the younger ones about the future for WormHole Reasons but also because he knows they mentally cannot handle the idea of hell/the cage/purgatory/mom coming back/meeting god/the like.

and that's the Old Winchesters party line so obviously ls!dean is like 👌 sounds good sam whatever you say 👌 and then drops tantalizing hints in front of es!dean to fuck with him. just enough to drive him crazy, not enough to actually give him knowledge.

but. es sam is a goddamn bloodhound. he does not believe that any version of dean has the Right to keep any secret from him, ever, actually, and he's so so curious, and grizzled old dean is so WHIPPED by this entitled baby sam that he ends up spilling wayyyy too much. HE CAN'T HELP IT. plus he's jealous that his sam is spending time with es!dean, so.....

anyway, cue es!sam yelling at es!dean because how dare he sell his soul for him, months before he actually does it. es!dean overhearing es!sam ask his older self if they actually go to hell and what's it like, and dean loses his mind. etcetera.

"hitler's scared of me." dean says. the younger version of him slows down chewing, but doesn't stop. sam and...well, sam have gotten up to go look at the state map on the far wall of the diner, trying to see where alva, oklahoma is.

"yeah, okay." younger dean says--little dick, dean wants to dub him, but that weirdly feels like a self-burn, so dean goes back to brainstorming--but he must see something in dean's eyes, because his own get huge. like, cartoon-character huge.

then he starts choking. dean's sam--sammy, they've started calling him--comes over and smacks the kid on the back, then glares at dean like dean just purposefully and cruelly antagonized a wet kitten in a dumpster. or baby jesus.

"no fucking way. guy's been dead for like--seventy years!"

"elliot ness or hitler?" sammy asks dean through gritted teeth, still glaring holes into his face.

"i meet elliot ness?" little dick--fuck it, kid's annoying--cries, and sammy slaps a hand to his forehead.

"shit."

~~~

“lord palpatine has a granddaughter and she's hot." dean calls into the shower room as he passes, and he hears a loud crash.

"i'm going to FUCKING kill you!" little dean screeches--again, weirdly demoralizing--and dean cackles the whole way to the kitchen.

~~~

"you should get really good a sword-fighting." dean suggests. younger dean just slumps forward.

"why?" he asks, like dean just suggested he stick a grenade pin up his dick or chew off sam's toenails.

"dunno. seems destined." dean says, and his world gets rocked as sammy hits him on the back of the head with a book thicker than his arm--as hard as he can.

~~~

"am i happy?" sam asks--baby sam, even though they've established that he's just 'sam,' with flashing eyes and a curled lip--because he's a manipulative piece of shit. dean can feel his shoulders tense.

they're sitting on the couch in the dean cave and re-watching some old hits, like the original clash of the titans. sam has strategically placed himself so his skinny thigh is pressed against dean's bigger one.

dean has very carefully not looked down to catalogue the difference because he knows he's going to do something stupid like pop a boner over it. dean knows that the closeness is strategic. but god, sammy--sam--smells like his old aftershave and summer. his eyes are bright and unlined. and he's playing dean's strings with deft fingers as he rolls his neck and looks at dean with eyes bigger than the damn sky.

they've been spending so much time together lately now that sam--adult sam--has found his new favourite in dean's younger self. sammy told the tiny asshole--what the hell is he going to call this kid--that he did a good job the other day, and the kid damn near pissed himself in delight like an excited puppy. dean's not speaking to either of them at the moment.

sam's been gently plying him with questions over the past few days. did i ever finish my degree? do i have my own car? was this from our last hunt? why do you and sammy look at us like that? what's our favorite place to eat?

some of them are innocuous but most are not, and this most recent question has knocked dean flat on his ass. he can't help but picture sammy--older sammy, his sammy--and his hollow eyes. his smiles. his eyes rolling in pain and pleasure and exasperation.

"yes. fuck. i hope so." dean admits, too damn easily, and he sounds like he's begging. he searches sam's face, prying his eyes apart for the answer. he's a kid. too damn young. he's dean's baby. dean feels like it's a promise, and it feels inadequate, an i'm taking care of you, i guess, so dean tries to cast the words in iron.

"i'd do anything to keep you safe, sammy. sam." dean corrects himself quickly, even though sam melts into his side like a cat. "to keep you happy. alive."

and sam kind of freezes, pulls back a little.

"what did you do?" the words are hard.

dean's stomach sinks. "what?"

"what did you do, dean?"

and dean tries to demur, like oh come on, it's just an expression. but dean knows that sam saw the depth there, heard the weight of it. he knows that there are decades underneath those words. lives under those words.

he sinks his teeth into dean, into the very marrow of him, and doesn't let up. dean tries to fight off his insistence, fielding questions for almost ten minutes before sam grabs him, hard, and shakes him.

"did i kill you--did you let me kill you?" sam begs, hands tight fists in dean's shirt and of all the things dean was expecting, it's not this.

"what?" he asks. "what are you talking about?"

and sam lets him go, falls back against the couch, hand over his mouth and dean's afraid he's going to throw up. dean knows--in a way he didn't know when he was young and stupid and twenty-seven--that sam needs time to think, so he lets sam stew.

"that's the worst thing i can imagine." sam says, finally. "i have dreams where yellow eyes kills you. i have dreams where dad does. and i...and i have dreams where i do it. because of what i'm becoming. and i...i don't know what's a nightmare and what's a--a vision--and i--"

and dean tucks this little kid under his chin, wraps arms around him that could suffocate him if he tried hard enough, and holds sam to him like sam will fly apart if he doesn't.

"nothing like that, baby." dean murmurs into his hair, and lets sam quietly wail into his shirt. he doesn't say, i'd let you kill me, because sam knows. he knows. it would be one of dean's gentler deaths, any death at the hands of his brother, but how could dean even start to say that?

"tell me dean. we protect each other, right?" sam begs, wet against his neck, and dean shushes him, feeling inadequate.

"of course. you're my baby brother. i'll always look out for you."

~~~

"promise me."

"i'm not gonna do that, sammy."

"it's--never mind. look at me."

"what--what? we gonna sit here and talk about our feelings? what do you want from me?"

"something's happened to them. don't tell me you haven't noticed. your sam is barely holding it together."

"hold on, he's not my--"

"i don't know, okay? bad feeling. just promise me you're not going to do something dumb. or let me...i don't know."

"now sam, when have i ever done something stupid?" a smile in his voice.

"you're impossible." fond. sad. warm. lonely. acknowledging. dean backs away from the doorway.

~~~

"i'd do it." dean--fuck it, dean's run out of nicknames for the little fucker. "whatever we do. in the future. i'll do anything for him."

he's standing in dean's doorway. that's the first time really that he's said we--an implied understanding that they are technically one person, the same person. dean doesn't look up from the gun he's cleaning. i know, he should say. or good. or it's not going to be enough.

but he just looks up into his younger face, and for the first time since this whole fuck-show started, feels something like pity. like camaraderie.

"c'mere." he says. "lemme show you how to load a mag in six seconds."

~~~

this RAN AWAY FROM ME!!!!! i LOVE this idea anon!!! your brain is brilliant!!!

i personally don't see LS!Dean telling ES!Sam about hell, for the same reason LS!Sam can't tell ES!Dean about the cage. it's too close, too personal, too real. inevitably.

ES!Sam would go mad with it, i think. hell, we SEE him unhinged in the show, actively or passively killing people to get dean back. LS!Dean would never want to put that on him, couldn't bear it. but i think he'd get pretty close.

anyway! sorry for the length, lol! i'm actually pretty proud of this one, and i had a lot of fun thinking about it! thank you for the ask anon! you are so correct!

-lizzy <3

[capricornsims]

Strangetown 1984

It was a chilly autumn evening in Strangetown when Pascal decided to search the galaxies. He only had to sneak past his father and peek into the telescope. He ripped off the " DON'T TOUCH" note before looking at the vast starry sky. "Whatcha doin'?!" "Nothing, just trying to see Venus...Don't tell Dad." " Ooooooo I'm telling!" " Scram- it's past your bedtime, leave me alone!

Suddenly a flash of light came out of the sky, like a giant meteor hurling towards town! Wait no! That wasn't a meteor!? Was that a plane!? A satellite! Pascal watched as it flew past the town- a loud whirring buzzing in his ears. " What the heck was that? Oh geez, oh gosh, I gotta tell Jenny!" Jenny was the only adult in the house who wouldn't ground him for eternity for using the telescope.

Knocking on the door Pascal cried and screamed, " JENNY! JENNY! UFO! OUTSIDE! lET ME IN"

Jenny was too busy blasting David Bowie to even hear Pascal yelling on the other side of the door.

Within a few minutes - a loud boom could be heard across Strangetown. The explosion caused every household to lose power in an instant. " What the hell?" Glarn grumbled hearing the loud protests of his children throughout the house. " Jenny! oh my watcher there's a U-" pascal cried " Did you trip the power fuse!?" Jenny yelled at him annoyed. " NO IT WAS THE UFO!" " What happened to the lights?" Vidcund called out. " I'm scared!!!" Lazlo sobbed. Kitty just shook her head, peeved that her novelas were interrupted.

-

Meanwhile:

"⌇⊑⟟⏁!"

It wasn't a crash landing- most of his ship was intact, but the bio-fuel spilled onto the sand with no way to save it.

He was so close to his target coordinates when the ship's integrity decided to fail.

He only had a single wormhole jump - and he used it to get to Earth. It was a miracle it withstood the entrance into the atmosphere.

"⌇⍜ ☊⌰⍜⌇⟒" << I was so close! So close!>> He kicked dirt, punched the ships metal- taking out his rage on it. Of course, he disregarded the immense pain he was in from the crash.

"⍙���⏃⏁⟒⎐⟒⍀" << Whatever...this is no use.>> "⍙⊑⟒⍀⟒ ⏃⋔ ⟟" << Where am I?>>"

This was a desert, he recognized. Much like Mars it was dry and rocky. Unfortunately, his target's coordinates appeared to be in a much more greener state. He tracked them all the way from Sixam, he could continue tracking them on Earth - however difficult it would be without his ship's radar. How hard would it be two find two hybrids amongst humans?

"⟟'⌰⌰ ☊⊑⟒☊☍" << I'll just check... I could be in any desert on the planet. Rven if I have to walk across the Earth to find them I will.>>

When he read his coordinates, and the human name for his location, he couldn't believe it was a real place. " Simerica" - it sounded so fake.

Apparently he was in a place called 'Strangetown' with a meager population. There wasn't much information other than that.

Pollination Technician #9 came to Earth in order to escape the fate of his eternal government contract.

His ship was destroyed, unable to fly...just as he had planned. All he had to do was survive and become human.

[zee-stars]

Okay, first time doing this so uh- hello!!

OKAY!

For space Mark, imagine like, after Captain tosses the crystal into the wormhole and Mark yells at them, he hears like soft sobs, and realizing that it isn't him he snaps back into reality to realize that it's the CAPTAIN crying. Which is like- really ooc for them because they're always so set on being strong for everyone else and making sure to support their team, so hearing them break down really hits kinda hard, and he realizes that they're just as much of a victim to this as everyone else is.

Like, angsty fluffy stuff because it's cute and captain needs love too

Uh yeah I hope I'm doing this right, GN Captain, can either be platonic or romantic!! ^^

Omg I love this idea so much!! I'm sorry it took so long for me to write this😭😭

But this is such a good idea and tbh... this was my genuinely reaction to Mark yelling at the end lmaoo

But thank you so much for the request I hope you enjoy!!

Let it out

Space mark x Gn!reader (not specified if platonic or romactic)

"What did you do?" Marks voice breaks the silence that has been filling the room. His words were quiet, like they just happened to slip through his lips. He speaks again, but this time, much harsher.

"What did you do!" This times his voice is filled with anger and rage, something I am not used to hearing, especially directed towards me. I tear my eyes away from where the wormhole once was, the place my eyes had been glued before. I look at his face and it has an expression I am not used to seeing. He's angry, furious, and he looks at me with a scowl on his face.

"I- Mark I-" I try to form words, but they fail me as my eyes start to water up, invisible to Mark due to the helmet on my head.

"You destroyed everything! I spent an eternity in hell, rebuilding this machine and you threw it all way!" He slowly steps closer as he yells and I try to move away but my feet feel glued to the floor. "I don't know if you're evil or just stupid!" His last words are filled with venom. It feels like daggers are flying out of his lips and stabbing me in the heart. Suddenly my legs feel weak and the tears slide from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I try to speak but all that escapes is a loud sob. And I break. I break like I was made of glass and just hit me with a bat.

Marks face softens, he stops speaking and his arms slowly drop back down to his sides. He is unsure of what was it he heard. It sounded like a sob but he hadn't made any noise. His cheeks are dry and no tears are escaping from his eyes. Then he notices the Captain. Their legs are visibly shaking and their hands are formed in a ball. Their chest is quickly heaving up and down and not a word is coming from behind their helmet. He slowly raises his hand to rest on their shoulder.

"Captain?" He asks quietly, trying to see if it was them who made the noise. Suddenly the sound of sobs is all that can be heard throughout the quiet room. He doesn't know what to do. He caused this. He shouldn't have yelled at them, they were trying to help...

"Captain, I-" He pauses a loss for words, "I'm sorry..." Quickly the captain moves, so quickly Mark is barely able to see what their doing until it's already done. The captain pulls off their helmet, reveling their messy hair and tear stained face. Mark is shocked, never once has he seen the captain without their helmet. In any universe, every situation, their face had always been hidden. He is just disappointed it was in these terms that he say it.

The captain forces themselves to sit down, their legs feeling feeling too weak to be able to stand. They bring their hand to their face and fully let go. Getting out all the stress, sadness, grief, loneliness, and everything else they've been keeping in. Mark stands above them, unaware of what he should do. Once their crying has started to slow down, the tears don't fall as quickly and their breath is slow and hollow, do they finally meet his eyes, face to face for the first time.

Mark feels tears well in his eyes as they look up at him, cheeks still wet, eyes red and hands shaking still. "Captain... I'm so sorry... I should have never yelled at you.." He finally says, sitting down beside them.

"It's okay, I messed up... lots of times..." They let out a dry laugh. "And I failed.... as a captain.." They head drops downwards.

"What? No you were the best captain, you were brave and strong and pushed through to do what was right... and you saved me... and fixed everything." He rambles, looking over at the captain with a faint smile. They continued to look down, avoiding eye contact. Mark takes this moment to admire their features he had never seen before. Their hair, slightly messy from being kept trapped up in that helmet all this time. Their eyes that are slightly difficult to see at this point from where he is sitting. He sharply inhales before wrapping his arms around them. There is only a brief pause before the captain wraps their arms around him in return.

Mark lets out a soft sigh and one of his gloved hands rest on their head and the other at the middle of their back. They sit in peace, glad that they finally have a minute to breathe, and even more glad that everything is over. Mark goes to pull away but stops when he notices that the captains body is now leaning more heavily on his.

"Captain? Are you sleeping?" They jump a bit before pulling away from him.

"Sorry! It's just been so long since... I've gotten a moment to rest." They admit and Mark just smiles back at them.

"I agree. Once everything goes back to normal, I promise you can sleep as much as you need." He says with a friendly smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's the end! I hope you enjoyed it and I'm sorry I'm so bad at endings lmao

Hopefully I can stick with this writing thing :)

[asexualactivities]

Had a dream that I went down on some random woman. I can't remember ever having a dream involving that before. It was the B plot to some drama about someone giving a solo concert at the Aces & Aros hall in town, and how that performer "betrayed" us by doing a bigger concert somewhere else first, and we were upset until we realized how popular the performer had become after that first concert, which meant that our concert would be completely sold out and would make a ton of money. Anyway, that whole main plot meant that I kept getting interrupted.

The whole going down plot was so strange. I was moving these boxes around, and there was a woman sitting on some of them, I think so that she could watch that first concert. (Which had already happened, but time in dreams never makes sense.) She made some vaguely suggestive motions, and I performed some arcane ritual of consent involving hand signals (It was too loud to talk at the concert, I guess?), then started in. I was kind of in a trench between the boxes, so they'd block the view from the rest of the concertgoers.

Now, I don't know if it was some sort of weird Stretch Armstrong situation, or if it was like she'd been sawed in half by a magician, or if there were wormholes involved, but she kept moving around the room, even though her lower torso and legs remained wherever I was. At some point, she was on the other side of the room, gesturing wildly, trying to pantomime some kind of action she wanted me to take. I was getting frustrated because I thought I was doing what she wanted, but obviously was doing something wrong. Her friend started making the same hand signals, but that didn't help. I tried to get her to show me what she wanted, but her upper torso was too far away and her arms couldn't reach.

Around that point, someone came up to me and started thanking me for what I was doing, for "taking one for the team". (Somehow I could hear her over the concert?) She explained that she was the asexual girlfriend of the woman I was working with, and she was so happy that I was doing this for the both of them. Then she wondered if I was doing research for my book, so I guess she knew who I was?

Anyway, that's about the time the whole main plot of the dream collapsed, and someone else came up to me very very upset that a random person had left a note on a golf course, complaining about some boy band celebrity. I forced myself to wake up, rather than deal with that nonsense.

[cowboylikeyouu]

excerpt from the prologue of my winterhawk interstellar AU bc i'm way too obsessed with this fic rn to not share lololol

(natasha is part of the lazarus missions and about to launch into space <3)

"Is there any chance I can convince you to stay?" He asks, but the bittersweet smile on his face shows he already knows the answer.  Natasha shakes her head, not trusting her voice to say it out loud right now.  "I could come with you," Clint tries. A desperate attempt they both know means nothing.  Nat finally meets his eyes, big and blue, shimmering with tears Clint rarely sheds, and she feels something break inside of her at the sight of it. "The world needs you here right now," she says quietly, firmly gripping both his arms. "And with the world I mean Bucky."  A pained expression settles over his face. "Bucky could come as well?" An even more desperate attempt. "Pretty sure he's already telling Steve the exact same thing," she says, bittersweet smile creeping onto her lips despite her will. "But there isn't enough space on the ship for more than 12 people, and if you'll replace someone, you'd each get your own planet and a decade of solitude, and neither of you needs that. You both deserve some peace."  "So do you, 'Tasha," he says, voice steady, but a single tear rolls down his cheeks. She moves her hand up to his face and catches it with her thumb before it can travel any further.  She gives him the kind of look that makes even Steve avert his eyes, but Clint has never looked away, never crumbling under all her harsh intensity. God, she's gonna miss him. "Best case scenario? My world's a suitable utopia, and I'll have years and years of peace while I get to play godess on my very own planet 'til humanity joins me and fucks it all up again. Worse, but still okay, scenario? We either don't even make it through the wormhole or my planet's a monster that instantly kills me, and then I'll have the best kind of eternal peace." "Don't say shit like this," he croaks, and now his voice is breaking.   Natasha swallows, wiping another tear from his face. "Please don't cry," she whispers. "You know I'll start, too, and I really don’t wanna launch into space dehydrated."  His laugh is all wet and desperate, but it's a laugh nevertheless, and Natasha will take whatever she can get. She really doesn't want her last memory of Clint personification-of-literal-sunshine Barton to be one where he's bawling his eyes out. "You know I'm good on my own, Clint," she says, so softly that if anybody else would ever hear it she'd have to kill them. "You're not." "Correct, that's why you shouldn't leave me. Contradicting yourself much?" "I wouldn't leave you here on your own and you know that," she replies, firmer now. This is the important part right now, the words she needs to hammer right into his brain until he believes them before she leaves. "But you have Bucky and- No, shut up, I'm talking, you have Bucky, no matter how much both of you pretend this thing between you is casual. And when I'm gone you're gonna grab him and take him to Iowa with you, and you'll have a couple of peaceful, domestic years, until Fury knocks down your front door and asks you to lead the next part of the mission. And I swear to whatever God there isn't, if my planet turns out to be suitable and you make it there alive, and your pretty ass isn't married to Bucky goddman Barnes, I'll do the job space couldn't finish and kill you." 

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 6

The fact that Sheppard doesn't actually want to be separated from McKay, doesn't actually want there to be distance between them, is underlined by the fact that as soon as he reaches the jumper, he contacts McKay on the radio. It's literally the first thing he does. He both wants and needs McKay's company, even though his priority is keeping the man safe (and hence, away from him and what he thinks is his deleterious influence).

They have the following exchange over radio:

Sheppard: McKay. McKay: Still here. Sheppard: The son of a bitch beat me to it. He's fast. McKay: I think you should get back here. Sheppard: Negative.

This conversation has no point. Sheppard informs McKay of a situation he can do nothing about. McKay reiterates that he wishes for him to return, to no avail.

Sheppard is attempting to reconnect but he's terrible at expressing, what you'd call it, feelings. Sharing what he's doing, what's going on with him here, is him trying real hard to show McKay that he's important to him. To make amends. To tell him that he didn't actually mean to yell at him back there.

As relieved as McKay is to be hearing from him, his terse reply betrays that he is both upset and worried for the other man. Much more important than his hurt feelings is that he, too, just wants Sheppard to be safe. To keep him safe he's trying to use the most powerful weapon in his arsenal: logic. Only, logic isn't going to work because the motivation for what Sheppard did and is doing was irrational from the get-go.

I noted before that Sheppard rarely uses military parlance with McKay but then started acting extra military toward Dr. Gaul to put him in his place. Here, while Sheppard was the one that needed to contact McKay (because he wanted to have him near, hear that he's alright, know that he's fine, just called to say hello), he suddenly gets all military with "Negative."

It's not because he's suddenly on mission mode. It's not that he's trying to show the civilian his place. It's not even to maintain that all-important distance between them. It's to remind himself that he can't go back even though he really wants to. He's not saying "No, I won't". He's not saying "No, I can't." He's not saying "I'm not going to." He's not even saying "No."

The only thing he can say in this situation is "Negative" because every bone in his body wants to do exactly that without Rodney even having to tell him.

And it's fortunate for Sheppard that McKay was attempting to logic him because that's what he himself knows best -- knows that it would work on him the best. Because if McKay had done what Brendan did and begged Sheppard to stay with him. If he had pleaded. If McKay had simply asked, Sheppard would not have been able to leave. Like earlier, when he didn't even have to say the words out loud for Sheppard to do what he asked:

But instead, McKay continues trying to use reason to sway him:

McKay: There's no point in you being out there, this-- Sheppard: He's aboard my ship. McKay: What are you, Captain Kirk?! What good's it gonna do him?

This is the second reference to Star Trek in rather short order. So. Let's talk about Star Trek for a bit.

In Poisoning the Well (S01E07), it was Sheppard that called Dr. Beckett McCoy, "the TV character [he] plays in the real world". Note that he makes a reference to TOS, the television series, and not to the films through which the majority of the general audience probably know him. Sheppard makes the reference unprompted, associating Beckett's fear of the dematerialization through the wormhole with Bones' fear of transporters. McKay catches the reference immediately, yes, but he's not the one that brings it up. While we saw him watching "a strange episode of The Outer Limits" in Home (S01E08), watching cheesy science fiction seems much more up Sheppard's alley than McKay's.

And, given how we see McKay reference Star Trek here (and in the future, very notably a few episodes hence, in reference to Kirk "romancing the alien priestess"), McKay's knowledge of the franchise seems a lot more cursory than Sheppard's. He displays a more superficial understanding of the character of Kirk. Yes, Captain James Tiberius Kirk was an All-American Action Hero, brash and impulsive, headstrong and braggadocious. He had a beautiful girl on every planet and loved his space ship more than anything else. Admired by women, envied by men. This is the image of Kirk that McKay seems to have.

With John Sheppard, there is noticeable deconstruction of the hero-myth going on. He is a hero, but certainly not the kind of hero that we had in 1967.

We'll get to the other aspects of Kirk later but here, upset, McKay seems to indicate that Sheppard cares more about the space ship, an immaterial thing, than he does about people -- feeling abandoned, he feels that he is less important to Sheppard than the ship is. In this, he is to McKay like Captain Kirk. His caring for the Enterprise was one of his most notable characteristics, after all.

Only, as much as he loved his ship, Kirk destroyed it to save one man.

One of the most painful scenes in all of Star Trek happens at the end of the second movie, The Wrath of Khan. Kirk has to watch Spock die right before his eyes, helpless to do anything to stop it. How ever you interpret their connection, there is clearly love between them.

To comfort Kirk, Spock tells him that in the grand scheme of things his life is not worth more than anyone else's and if he can use it to spare many others, it's his choice to make. He's just one man, Jim. It will hurt, but you'll survive. It's the logical thing to do.

Only, Kirk doesn't see it that way. The entire third movie, The Search for Spock is Kirk willing to sacrifice everything and everyone for this one man, to get him back. That one life was worth more to him than all other lives combined. Even his ship, as one of the sacrifices he has to make is to allow the Enterprise to be blown up. And Jim, well. He did love that ship.

This is shown especially in the series to the point of lampooning. So yes, calling someone that excessively cares about their ship Kirk would make a kind of sense. But that's not what Sheppard does. He likes the jumpers fine. He likes flying things and they are advanced space craft, what's not to like? But they're not, never have been, and never will be more important to him than people. In fact, just a few episodes ago he was willing to sacrifice a jumper just to forge some kind of a deal with the Genii.

At the end of the third movie, Kirk comes to as close to a confession of love as one can without saying the actual words. He tells Spock "Because the needs of the one... outweigh the needs of the many," a reversal of his dying words. To James T. Kirk, Spock was worth all the other lives combined and then some.

So, Sheppard compared Beckett to Bones a few episodes ago. Now McKay implies that Sheppard is acting like Kirk. And yes, Sheppard and Kirk certainly have some things in common. But it's not the things that McKay thinks.

I mentioned the homoerotic nature of Kirk and Spock's relationship previously. While it may not have been the original intention of the creators, they certainly acknowledged the existence of this undercurrent between the characters. They even created a special kind of love, a word for a type of love felt by the Vulcans that was somewhere between friendship and erotic love. In the novelization of the first movie, their relationship is described as follows: "Theirs had been the touching of two minds which the old poet's of Spock's home planet had proclaimed as superior even to the wild physical love which affected Vulcans every seventh year during pon farr."

What ever his sexuality was, how ever many alien priestesses he may have romanced, Spock was the closest person to Kirk. It was Spock that he loved the most, no others could compare. Not the mother of his son, not even his son. Kirk and McCoy, the ship's doctor, were very good friends. Their interaction showed us what close male friendship could look like. And Kirk and Spock's relationship was always something different. It was something more. Deeper.

They were in love. However you interpret the nature of this love (or whether it was ever physically consummated; but let's note that the touch-telepathic Vulcans may have had very different ideas to humans as to how such things were consummated), they were lovers. And this is more obvious watching the show. I cannot imagine that any young bisexual boy watching TOS would fail to notice the undercurrent. Would fail to notice the love between the two characters. And might even have been inspired to, say, join the air force to find something like that.

As mentioned, McKay was attempting to logic Sheppard during their exchange. Sheppard called Beckett McCoy, McKay called Sheppard Kirk. By method of elimination that would make McKay himself Spock. And they do have much in common.

Intelligent, logical and socially awkward science officer repressing his feelings, feeling shame for them. Willing to do anything for the dashing starship captain that he doesn't realize, can't even understand cares for him more than life itself.

Yes, Sheppard does have many things in common with Captain Kirk. Caring about his ship is certainly one of those things. But like for Kirk, the ship would never hold the tiniest candle to how much he cares about the man he wants to keep by his side at all times, at all costs. The one he can't lose. The one he can't live without.

"Of my friend I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... ...human."

Continued in Pt. 7

[the12thnightproject]

Loved the "Warlords Watching Teletubbies". May I ask (if you're not to busy) ask for something similar like the Warlords watching "Sesame Street"? I so think that Ieyasu reminds me of Oscar the Grouch (lol), Mitsunari of Big Bird, and Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi as Ernie and Bert.

Sorry Anon about taking so long! I’ve had a busy busy winter. And um, this sort of turned into Ikesen Warlords AS Toddlers Watching Sesame Street…

Due to a Massive Wormhole Event (MWE), MC is suddenly dealing with the influx of toddler warlords (plus a tween Kennyo) in a tiny, tiny apartment. And truly, this apartment is not big enough for all of them… would never be big enough, especially since…. “Kenshin stop swinging that sword around, NOW,” and “Shingen get OUT of my chocolate stash!” ….

At her wits end… MC does what all parents since the last quarter of the 20th century have done to entertain the children: she turns on the television (and then goes into her room to read hide).

The following is what she hears through the closed door…

The sound of Keiji and Ranmaru singing the theme song to Sesame Street.

Hideyoshi:  Shhhhhh! MC told us to watch this! Shhhh! I can’t watch with you singing so loud!

Nobunaga: MC! I can’t find Bearsace! He has to watch this with me.

Kenshin: MC? Are there any rabbits in this?

Masamune: Hey! Ieyasu! That orange thing that lives in the garbage can is just like you! I’mma gonna start callin’ you Oscar, ok?

The sound of Keiji and Ranmaru singing the theme song again.

Hideyoshi:  Shhhhhh! Stop singing. You’re going to bother MC!  SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Shingen: Kennyo? Are you sleeping?

Kennyo: I am meditating. I am meditating. I am meditating. Zzzzz.

Ieyasu: MC! I left my sourdough starter in the Sengoku! How many days is it until we go home?

Sasuke:  You have a sourdough starter? Tell me more! How do you make it? What do you like about it? What did you name it?

Kenshin: Sasuke! Are you paying attention to someone who is not me?

Kanetsugu:  Sasuke! Are you paying attention to someone who is not Kenshin?

Shingen: MC. What is a cookie?

Sasuke: It’s a sweet pastry with cho-

Nobunaga AND Shingen:  MC, where are your COOKIES?

Hideyoshi:  We’re not supposed to eat sugar. Nobunaga, GET AWAY FROM THE COOKIE JAR!

Yukimura:  Shingen, you too! Also. GET AWAY FROM NOBUNAGA.

Mitsunari: I don’t understand why no one else can see the Snuffleupagus. He’s right there?

Ieyasu: Where? All I see is the giant yellow bird.

Hideyoshi: Osc- er, Ieyasu! Don’t tease Mitsunari!

Shingen: NOBUNAGA DID YOU TAKE THE LAST COOKIE?

Nobunaga: *crunch* *crunch* No. *crunch* *crunch*

Mitsunari: (in the same accent as The Count) One. Two. Three. Four.

Masamune: Yip yip yip yip yip  yip yip….

Kenshin: If they can make rubber DUCKIES why not RUBBER BUNNIES?

Masamune: Yip yip yip yip yip  yip yip….Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

Motonari: MC! They keep touching me!

Yoshimoto:  MC, CAN I play with your MAKE UP?

Masamune: Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

The sound of Keiji and Ranmaru singing the theme song again.

The sound of Mitsunari singing the theme song too.

Hideyoshi:  Mitsunari….. whyyyyyyy?

Mitsunari: It is stuck in my head. I don’t know how to get rid of it.

Keiji: That HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME. You just have to sing it more.

Mitsunari: Ok.

The sound of Keiji and Ranmaru AND Mitsunari singing the theme song again.

Motonari: If anybody sings again, I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE.

*Click*

Yukimura: What happened?

Kanetsugu: The remote stopped working.

Nobunaga: Who unplugged the TV? Kicho!

Kenshin: PLUG THE TV BACK IN. THERE MIGHT BE BUNNIES STUCK IN IT. PLUG IT BACK IN!

Kicho: Make me!  OOF! GET OFF ME!

*Click*

The TV sound returns now EXTRA LOUD.

At this point… MC has ominous realization that the one voice she hasn’t heard is Mitsuhide’s. In a panic, she comes running out of the bedroom, to discover that Yoshimoto has done a makeover on the sleeping Kennyo, Mitsunari (still singing) and Shingen have taken apart the toaster, and Mitsuhide…. is nowhere to be found.

From somewhere outside… not too far away… is the sound of a siren.

@lorei-writes

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Like the answers! :D

1: if they were able to paint their faces, what would they paint? When I was little I got my face painted to look like Batman with the blue cowl 😂

2: do they do nostalgic kid stuff, like making noises in front of those plug in fans or play with those door stopper thingies?

3: are the duo the type to slide down a railing/stair banister? For slapstick comedy, I can see them accidentally fall sideways off of it or hitting the end piece crotch first XD

4: has there been a time where they accidentally spilt their pants or taking a energy beam blast, leaving them in their underwear? (Don’t know if this question is ok to answer, message me if this is ok)

5: what was their first cuss word? Either accidentally or purposely.

6: what’s your opinion on the tv show Superman & Lois? I have a few rewriting ideas that you might love ;)

1: the “twins” are much younger, like 8-10

2: the twins aren’t twins XD

3: the Jordan character is superboy Jon Kent who is a year younger. The Jonathan character is Chris Kent who pretty much a little of your version: blue heat vision, gets powers from moon, from the phantom zone (if it exists don’t remember)

4: the first season is about gangs somehow having kryptonian weapons, later it’s revealed it was brought from a wormhole from space similar to Chris’s arrival. The season finale reveals that Chris is a sleeper agent anytime he hears words similar to portals ( portal, dimension, phantom zone itself) for his father Zod.

5: the second season is about Zods invasion & at the end, Chris breaks free of the program due to his superfamily loves & for drama, snaps his neck like in man of steel, due to his “warrior blood”

@pin-crusher2000 Glad you do, now here’s some more of them lol

1) For Jake, I can see the aforementioned Batcowl around his eyes and forehead while for Chris on the other hand, he’d probably would get two matching blue dragons on each side of his cheeks and a House of El S logo on the space between his eyebrows, just being a bit experimental

2) I can see the Duo probably jump on the couch if they’re especially bored (though remembering to put it back together after they’re done), be a little silly and wacky with their Lego sets, have some soda drinking contests and maybe as established before roleplay as warriors from their planet’s past akin to say tag or hide and seek in a way.

3) Mostly likely Jake alone would be doing that since Chris can conversely can float down the stairs for funsies instead. As for comedic mishaps, Jake on his try did indeed accidentally fall off sideways upon making it to the bottom, thankfully he wasn’t badly hurt but now he knows to adjust his balance better afterwards.

4) Actually if they do sustain damage to their outfits, I envision it being for more dramatic and painful reasons than comedic ones, mainly a result of bad beat downs the Duo would get from supervillains on their similar power level. It’s actually more common for them to have their boots shredded off by massive energy blasts and explosions or missing one of two gloves after saving the day. So yeah, nothing too comedic on this case

5) Chris: “Oh hell”; accidentally when he was six and after hearing Lois say it so many times when things went wrong for her. He said it out loud during a time the family were watching Clark trying to fight back against Solaris The Tyrant Sun and it was going badly

Jake: “Son of a Dick!”; On purpose when he’s about five when trying to float of the ground because his powers hadn’t kicked in yet.

6) Oh I like it for what it is just fine but I’ll freely admit those rewrite ideas are REALLY something that they should go for one day. Especially the one of Chris being an unintentional sleep agent for Zod and later fighting back as a season finale. (Chefs Kiss)

I love that SO much XD

[watermeloncholycucumbersome]

Day 33 of Writing Something Everyday

(365 Day Challenge)

Swimming, diving deep,

With you as we sink to the bottom of the sea.

In your arms I feel oh so safe, no one but you and I down here; it's so quiet.

Midnights moon reflects upon the water above us, dancing little flickers of light.

Motionless, we hold eachother as the bubbles swirl around us; warm and soothing tickling our skin.

The current is the cradle that rocks us gently into dreaming.

If I could stay here forever I would, encased in amber as if we were ancient beetles, a relic they'd study in time.

No one would laugh, or have remorse or think us crazy, they'd all gaze upon our frozen frames and exclaim "That's love".

Gossamer in summer,

Weaved in the bosom of God.

Immersed beneath the sea foam like drowning pleasantly, swimming

Through wormholes of possibilities; our air bubbles floating - swirling upward and around us.

Healing our wounds the world's nails have gouged in our skin by the salt water that covers us. Then suddenly we're

Yanked out of our home, we're safe no more, the water is gone and we're now just two land mammals; fish out of water gasping.

Into the unknown, naked and afraid, what was once

Innocence now turns into survival. We're

Amusement for the masses - a circus act.

They've never seen anything like us, as we twist and turn in a tank too small for one of us let alone the both of us.

No name given on our plaque the visitors read, children young and old with faces and hands pressed up against the glass.

A freak experiment of elites to study for profit.

In each other's arms we struggle to breathe.

Grandoise faux light from the overhead artificial luminescence screwed to the ceiling above us. I'm reminded of home, and I weep silently.

Home, I miss our home, I miss the quietness that has now become a constant vibration throughout the water mumblings and tones we don't understand rattling our eardrums.

Tumultuous crowds surround us, we're no longer in the sea, we're surrounded by a sea of humans, a gazingstock to judgement. This isn't how it was supposed to be, it wasn't what I had dreamed for us. You mouth "It's okay, just close your eyes" then you're no longer near me and I feel the warmth of the water that held you pull away from me, the space feeling now cold and empty. Then I hear pounding on glass the water around us begins to move violently as if we are in the middle of a storm. I open my eyes to see you, fists beating the glass with such veracity and force that I had never seen from you until now. Within a few hits the glass around us began to crack slowly, like ice and the sound of it doing so was similar.

Blood began to swirl slowly from your hands and I call your name but you respond

with the loudest scream I'd ever heard, your voice reverberating off the four clear walls that burst assunder like firecrackers exploding beautifully in the sky.

Within milliseconds we were riding the waves of our "new home" through the museum. Frightened faces of visitors bobbing in the water now with us, muffled words become loud audible yelling. Guards clamouring to recapture us as a red faced fat man in a tuxedo yells "GET THEM!!!"

We slip and slide in the glass and water making our way outside, Mal De Débarquement kicking in. We run together as I try to keep up crossing busy roads, the cool air drying out our skin by the second. Cars skidding to full on stops, yelling cursing, honking their horns at us "put some clothes on ya filthy bastards" someone yells spitting at us. I collapse - you grab me up in your arms and run with me your chest heaving as we make our way across the street and toward the water. Home, oh home I can't believe it I thought I'd never see it again. Flakes of our skin blow away in the nights breeze, we're drying out too fast - we need to get to the water before it's too late.

Finally reaching the sandy shore we both collapsed to our knees, breathing laboured, grasping at fistfuls of sand pulling ourselves towards home - home. Like baby sea turtles flapping their flippers to get to water, we moved our arms until we felt the warmth of the sea and the smell, oh the wonderful smell!

Then we are pulled by the waves and under letting it take us, exhausted from the day this felt perfect and instantly I felt better. The look on his face staring back at me with those eyes of his told me that all was well with him too.

We were home and nobody could hurt us anymore, we were alone and we could just be!

Swimming hand in hand until we were far beyond where anyone would ever find us again.

Now motionless, we hold eachother as the bubbles swirl around us; warm and soothing.

The current is the cradle that rocks us gently into dreaming.

And we'll awake tomorrow to the glittering sunrise welcoming us back.

I nestle into his arms and he relaxes into mine, wrapped up in one anothers company.

"Goodnight my love" he whispers,

"Goodnight my love" I whisper back.

~Jenni

[flowers-of-io]

#7

Things you said where the water was loud | Read on Ao3

Once Taox’s ships leave through the wormhole in desperate pursuit of Auryx’s frigate, there isn’t much left of the Osmium Court. A few fires still hold up, weak flames licking the walls of tall, hollowed-out buildings, but most have already been extinguished by rainfall, leaving behind only billows of smoke, rank and choking in the damp air. Hardly a soul can be seen sneaking through the streets—whoever remained stays tucked under the roof of their still-standing house or is camping in the palace's great hall, trembling shapes huddling close and looking up to the ceiling, as if they could see the moons despite the several layers of stone and metal.

The courtiers are mostly dead or gone, but there is still a small gathering in the ruined throne room, lingering between the tactical map and a column all smouldered and cracked from a blast of strange green fire. They, too, huddle close; the diplomatic distance bridged in the face of death, hands curl around hands and heads lean on trembling shoulders. Royal-blue robes, dirty and in tatters, flutter in the draught whistling through bullet holes peppering the walls.

The rumbling of the approaching wave can be heard from the harbour now.

“Do you think the Monoliths are still standing?” The High Admiral asks, his arm arched around the Minister of Seaware who shakes and sniffles.

The Court Deputy Engineer eyes the tactical map—a burnt piece of parchment, now, granite pawns all tipped and strewn across the floor. “Star-Surgery is first,” she says, “and their engines will combust should water get into them. I haven’t heard any explosions yet.”

“You expect to hear anything over this damned squall?” The Sejm’s Highmost Speaker sneers at her from under a half-tipped pillar. She is still holding her buława, squeezing it like a lifeline against her bandaged chest.

The Second Crown Judge wedges a claw between two halves of a clam he found washed in by the tide, takes a bite, and offers the rest to the Deputy Engineer.

“It’s not that far,” he reminds, leaving it unspoken that the troubled sea could have very well pushed the Star-Surgery hundreds of danas away.

“What difference does it make if we hear it or not?” the Highmost Speaker grumbles, “It’s not like we can do anything about it either way.”

“Well, I myself prefer to know what’s coming my way before it does.”

The Minister of Seaware breaks into another wave of ragged sobs.

“I don’t want to die!” Her voice echoes in the chamber, earning her a number glances of glances from those huddled under other walls, some frightened and some expressing only weary annoyance.

“Hush,” the Second Crown Judge fishes out another clam from the deep pockets of his robe and pushes it into her hands, “have a snack.”

“I don’t want a snack! I w-want to go home!”

“Great Leviathan in the deep, is the last thing I’ll ever hear really gonna be your wailing?” Someone from a distant corner calls. The Minister only starts crying louder.

“If the wind hasn’t picked up, we could approximate the distance,” the High Admiral says over her sobs, “after the explosion, I mean.”

“Suit yourself. It could’ve very well gone off hours ago and we didn’t hear it.” The Highmost Speaker huffs, and reaches to pry the clam from the Minister’s claws without much resistance. “Give me that, if you’re not eating it. I’m hungry.”

[boyslit]

You hear loud noises coming from the kitchen. Drawers being opened and shoved close, metallic clattering, glass shattering, a cacophony of other things happening and suddenly... Complete silence. As you stand behind your door, your ear pressed to it, you listen... There's a "fwiiip" sound... Another "fwiiip". Someone grumbles "C'm'on... You little..." Fwiii- VRRRRRRRRRR- That's a chainsaw. You run out of your room. You do not usually keep a chainsaw in your kitchen, that much you were certain of, but the question was more: who the hell was using a chainsaw in your kitchen?!! As you run, your footsteps alert the intruders, and you hear one of them shout the order to flee the scene. When you arrive, everything is weirdly neat and tidy. There is something amiss. You start looking everywhere and you eventually find a lone piece of paper on the counter. It's one of those Mutual Bingo sheets. This one's still empty, though. You stare at it, squinting. You turn the scrap- Aha! The culprits have signed their crime! It's... You squint harder. Yeah, that's definitely a cowboy hat... And a bomb. And... an exploding lollipop. Oh wait, there's a message at the bottom: "To pass the time while we sharpen some IPC teeth in the name of anti-capitalism <3" The message is specifically signed with a rose. You knew you should have seen this coming. Feeling what might be the start of a headache, you:

.... heave a sigh, relieved that I didn't find the kitchen furniture in pieces at least. Well, I'm always up for anti-capitalism, and a good bingo sheet too. I sit down at the intact table with a pink marker specially selected for the Rose Mutual and consider my answers carefully.

I raise the marker, lost in thought. Without warning, the chair and table split apart into hundreds of near-identical cubes, as if it has been made out of small dice from the start and was only made to look like a table and chairs. The cabinets and fixtures soon follow suit, as well as the floor.

I clutch the marker and paper tightly as the deluge of dice whisks me away into the abyss. I wonder how I'll get this posted once I arrive at my destination, I think, reading the squares over again and marking them with little hearts. Oh well. I'm sure that'll be the least of my worries. I try not to make eye contact with a few others nearby, all of us awash on the currents of chance.

I'll mark an address on it, at least. Maybe the universe will see fit to pass it along. I write "littlekiara96.tumblr.com" at the top and fold it into a paper airplane. The wind whisks it away into a miniature wormhole. I lean over and let my hand drift through the current of dice. They are cool to the touch but the corners and edges soon batter my knuckles, and I shake my stinging hands. I sigh. These trips always take so long, too. I'm not looking forward to the walk back...

-

You awake in the morning peacefully, but there's an odd sensation on your face. You swat at it, certain it's your cat, but your hand hits a folded piece of paper instead. You blink. It's far too early for this type of silliness. Who put a paper airplane on your face? You unfold the plane, yawning, and read what's inside.

It's the mutual bingo sheet you left behind! You're surprised it made it back safely, but perhaps you shouldn't be, all things considered.

[sing-a-sirensong]

Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

[Let's go crazy over this 😘]

Oh no you’re really asking me to go crazy go stupid, huh? Here’s a list of men that I wanna keep in a terrarium and study, just in the order I think of them:

1) Chuck Hansen, Pacific Rim: Full honesty, I absolutely hated him the first time I watched the movie. But by the end, and for subsequent watches, I became very attached. He’s just a cranky guy that loves his dog.

2) Fenris, Dragon Age 2: Probably the one I’m the least normal about on this whole list. I’ve killed everyone who’s ever wronged him and I’ll do it again. I romance him every time. I recognize his voice actor any time I hear him in other media. I’m so normal about him.

3) Kaidan Alenko, Mass Effect: I have no real reason for this, he’s just A Guy, and yet I’m entirely enamoured with him. His romance is so sweet, and I love that they implemented the romance for mshep in 3. Also can’t help the Canadian solidarity.

4) Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG1: I love this fuckin nerd. Poor dude has terrible allergies, dorky glasses, and floppy hair, and he jumps through a wormhole every day in the hopes they meet some aliens. And he (rightfully) geeks out about it every time.

5) Bucky Barnes, Captain America: I saw Winter Soldier in theatres when it came out and honestly, I think it fundamentally changed me as a person. Get yourself a bff that will break through brainwashing and jump out of a flying aircraft to save you from drowning.

6) John Casey, Chuck: I have a huge soft spot for big stoic characters slowly being chipped away at by the loud energetic characters. You will catch feelings, do not resist. He is befriended against his will.

7) Thaletas, Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: His little side story in the Silver Islands is one of my favourites, and the good ending with him is just so sweet. The Spartan husband I wish I could have. Realizing now that all my video game faves on this list are heavily based on how much I enjoyed their romance storylines whoops

8) Pippin Took, Lord of the Rings: He’s just a little guy. He signed up for stealing some carrots and instead ended up on a cross country quest to save the world and just rolled with it.

9) Hypnos, Hades: The bright spot of sunshine to greet me every time I screw up and die. He’s got some of the funniest dialogue, and I adore him. And I relate big time to needing constant naps.

10) Simon “Ghost” Riley, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (2022): Tough stoic guy being worn down by annoying companion part two. I considered putting Soap here instead, since I adore him too, but ultimately the terrible jokes won me over. Who doesn’t love a man with a traumatic past that tells the worst jokes known to humanity.

[nevelk-13]

Old friends you meet at the rink

My sister, Mother, Father and I escaped the cold of the hockey rink to stand out by the concessions and wait for my brother. The smell of hockey gear was somehow always present, persisting quietly beneath the smell of everything else. But it smelled like popcorn in that room, and garlic.

Two gruff-looking and potbellied old men with boisterous voices saw my dad and everyone in the room knew it. Old friends of my grandfather's, they were. They greeted my father like a long-lost nephew or something. I was honestly scared of them and their straightforward demeanor. I know the type of seasoned and grumpy old Nodak, they're admittedly not my favorite. Sometimes I can be prejudiced.

My sister and I lingered not far away while my dad caught up with them. My mom found someone else to talk to, the mother of one of my brother's teammates.

"These are my daughters," my dad informed the men.

We greeted them politely and almost wordlessly. One of them remarked that my sister looked an awful lot like our grandmother. My dad seemed to disagree, and pointed at me. He has always told me I'm the spitting image of my grandmother. I wouldn't know, but it's something I accept with honor.

"She was just tiny," the louder, fatter man remarked about my grandmother. His name is Wilson. He was a real stinker back in the day, supposedly. The kind of guy who loves hockey and always gets what he wants. I felt myself crumbling under the weight of their eyes on me, sizing me up. No doubt recognizing all the ways in which I was not my grandmother. Bigger, riddled with adult acne, and as my brother would say, "gay with ratty hair".

I wanted to run away. When they averted their attention back to my dad I asked my sister under my breath if she'd like to go to the water fountain.

"They scare me," I told her. She didn't seem as affected, merely thought I had asked her over there to rip her vape. I didn't refuse. In the stall I thought about why it was that big loud men scare me. I thought about why it was that hockey seemed to be first and foremost for big loud men. At least that's how it feels in my neck of the woods. It never really felt like hockey could be for me.

I ventured back to the concession stand after my stint in the bathroom. My dad was still there, talking to Wilson. The other friend of my grandfather's, Jeff, was getting coffee at the concession stand. He came back briefly to give one to Wilson, who did not want it. Jeff didn't seem to hear, understand, or care. Just handed his old friend a steaming styrofoam cup.

Wilson had given my father a t-shirt, of which he apparently had several of stuffed in his jacket pockets. His pockets didn't seem to be bulging or stuffed at all. It was perplexing. I thought maybe his jacket was comparable to Mary Poppins's magic endless bag. Maybe his pocket had a wormhole that let out in a huge vault containing multitudes of these strange t-shirts. It had three clipart hockey players on it, wearing helmets and holding sticks and beer. One of their helmets had the letters "THG" in an unorthodox and slightly hard-to-read font, so it sort of looked like the shirt said "THC".

Wilson was very opposed to the concept of drinking his coffee, so he offered it to me, despite his remark that I probably didn't need it since I "look like a troublemaker". I tried not too think too much about what he meant by that. It somehow felt rude to accept the coffee, since Jeff hadn't bought it for me, and I didn't want to live up to my name and cause any trouble, but the man was persistent. He thrust out his hand, and if I hadn't finally accepted, the contents of the cup probably would have ended up painting the floor. I figured I was doing everyone a favor by accepting. So I had watery coffee, too hot still to drink. It gave me something to fiddle with while the men talked over each other.

Wilson apologized for not having more t-shirts to give to me and my sister. When my brother showed up briefly, the man was able to procure yet another shirt from his ineffable pockets and handed it to him. My brother looked confused, and then delighted. At this point I think all of us had realized that Wilson was pretty awesome, including me. I tried not to be offended at the fact that he had given my father and brother a t-shirt, but not me or my sister or mother. I had gotten the coffee.

Wilson asked me and my sister how old we were, and what we were up to in life. He was much more interested in my sister's endeavors than my own. He told me that he'd look for my name on the big screen. I get that a lot, it's nice that other people can dream bigger dreams for myself than I can. My sister had graduated from a contentious university, as it is UND hockey's most infamous rival. He talked more about his own endeavors in the world of North Dakota Hockey, during which he met and formed a close friendship with my Grandfather, who was just as tough and grumpy as him. Apparently my grandfather was a force to be reckoned with. He strong-armed Minnesota's Youth hockey league into admitting North Dakota's team into their league. Wilson talked about him with a sincere reverence, said he was one of the Godfathers of the league. He told us about how passionate the both of them were about girls hockey, Wilson himself in particular.

"I have four daughters," he told us, "it's different when you've got daughters." It's touching that he was passionate about girls hockey, and about his daughters. It made me think about all the men who wouldn't give a shit about girls sports if they didn't have daughters.

Jeff and Wilson were practically clamoring over themselves to tell my sister and I stories about our grandfather. I couldn't make any sense of most of the things they were saying, in equal parts due to the velocity of their sentences and the total lack of context behind it. I don't know the first thing about running a hockey league. I followed along as best as I could, and was left with a vague impression that all three of them--Wilson, Jeff, and my grandpa-- were exceptionally accomplished in this realm. One thing I took away loud and clear was that my grandpa loved my grandma with ferocity, and that she was perhaps the only person who could wrangle in his fiery disposition.

They had been talking to us well into the first period of the hockey game they were there to watch, so we all had to depart. I thanked Wilson for the coffee and said it was nice to meet them both, which was actually true at that point. I felt bad for ever being off put by them, these loud and friendly old men.

I've been thinking about them a lot since that day, and the stories they have to tell about a different world, one that contained my father's parents. One day I hope I can go back to Fargo and sit down with them over some coffee. I would be prepared this time, with a notebook and a willing mind. Maybe Wilson will bring me a t-shirt.

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

05/12/2024 – 05/18/2024

Sunday

Week 14 of missing Cipher Academy

Not much to say about Girl Meets Rock except hell yeah Hatocchi get his ass!!!!

UNDEAD UNLUCK IS CRAZY GOOD THIS WEEK WOAGHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHH This battle was predicated on the idea of “imagination”, but now it has developed into the idea of “conviction”, given how Feng’s determination helped power the cannon and plant the seed of doubt in Lang’s mind. BUT ALSO NICO OPENING THE WORMHOLE TO THE MASTER RULES ROOM IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG I LITERALLY SCREAMED OUT LOUD LMAOOOOOOOOO it’s simultaneously the funniest shit ever while also being a genius move, and seeing Soul being absolutely flabbergasted is so incredible. But then seeing him appear to feel genuinely frustrated and sad at Lang’s defeat is also really interesting…of course Tozuka would give the villains compassion and care for each other…love is one of the central themes of UU after all…and this makes this war all the more compelling… That last spread is genuinely so beautiful…Lang conceding defeat and granting her foe some happiness in her final moments…NicoIchi marriage…it’s just so peak… I don’t know how UU manages to top itself every week but god it feels good to be a part of the journey.

Obligatory beach episode in Oshi no Ko is fine, there are some fun jokes in there. And the love triangle seems to be resolving itself…if not for the Ruby thing LMAO

I’m glad they got that guy out of the air in Dandadan, because the drawings of hand to hand combat are just gorgeous.

Damn, the information drop in One Piece is actually insane…it feels surreal to be finally hearing history that I first got hints about literally ten years ago…

Ahghhrhghghaeujglhgeayhgj the new SpyFam chapter…Martha/Henry is so so so so so so sooooo good…SpyFam is so good when it’s a genuine war drama because it doesn’t shy away from how war permeates and affects society…the kids going through air siren drills and the talk of drafts and everyone’s futures…Martha suffering the loss of her dream and taking control of her life by enrolling in the army and confessing to Henry, only for the bell of war to toll once more and shove a wedge between them that will last for most of their lives…agh… I really hope they get together, and not just at the end of the manga like a lot of shounen manga like to do because I want to see them explore their new dynamic in their old age… If only every manga was as proactive and caring about romance as Undead Unluck is…

I reread Hoshi Dake ga Shitteru to see if I would want to buy it when the officially licensed book comes out and I think I will…! The writing in this was always pretty refreshing to read, and it’s fun and realistic to watch Kengo and Sora slowly orbit around each other and read each other’s intentions until they finally concede that they’re in love. And the astronomy theming and all this talk about dreams is just the cherry on top because it reminds me of Twin Spica. It’s an 8/10 for me, and I’m looking forward to picking up the physical version.

Finally finished reading If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late… I’ve harped on about my issues with this series enough, so I’ll just say that the gist of my problem with it is that it’s a fairly shallow narrative. I’m sure that kids enjoy it, and I probably did as a kid myself, but it’s not particularly rewarding to revisit as an adult because there’s no added depth to be found. Just a quirky series banking on punny humor and the allure of a big mystery and a secret society that lets kids work for them for whatever reason. Unfortunately I’m committed to seeing this series through to the end, so you’ll probably get a lot more griping from me.

Man…I think I’m genuinely too stupid to understand Monogatari. I finished Nekomonogatari Black today and I just feel confused… Monogatari’s trademark of long-winded conversations just leave me always playing catch up as I try to understand the line I just heard while the next line is being said. I went to go read some essays about Nekomonogatari and I think I get it more now, but I don’t get Araragi at all…I rarely do… Maybe I should read the books, at least I can control the pacing there…but I feel like Monogatari might just not be for me, because I can hardly feel emotionally impacted by it when I can’t tell what’s going on. I really wanted to like Monogatari, though…it seems to mean a lot to a lot of people and I love Cipher Academy by the same author so much so I don’t know why this just isn’t clicking for me…

I watched the second episode of Smartypants and it was about as mildly entertaining as the first. Jess’ presentation felt the most straightforward, just straight up facts rather than jokes lol. Jacob’s was solid and genuinely funny at times and came to a satisfying conclusion, much like Trapp’s in the last episode, but I think my favourite of the three has to be Katie’s for her sheer commitment and enthusiasm. I relate, as an egg lover myself…

Monday

Living Dead…Sleeping Dead… Having now read the ending, the name of the manga hits like a truck… Both can refer to Sada, of course, but I’m also inclined to believe that Living Dead also refers to Mamiya in a way… He was aimless in life, only chasing the one ambition he knew and leaving behind the rest of the world in the process… But Sada brought him back…and tried to keep him there, even using up his last moments to try and impart that message to him… Meanwhile, the Sleeping Dead moniker makes me want to die because it’s what Mamiya desperately wanted for Sada in the end…but of course it couldn’t come to pass… This story was never going to end happily… I was surprised to see Mamiya just straight up admit his feelings, but I suppose it was the last chapter so the mangaka wanted to get things moving along. But god, seeing them being intimate and Mamiya slowly opening up to happiness was so incredible…and it only made the ending all the more tragic. Narratively, I think the story was a bit all over the place and not always in control of what direction it wanted to go in, but that last conversation somehow tied everything together and illuminated the themes of the work so beautifully that I can’t even be mad. But god I feel so miserable…8/10…

At least the new Oni to Tengoku chapter cheered me up somewhat…Aoki and Tengoku’s tentative relationship and its down to earth writing is always fun to read about…

And then I read Koisuru Psycho no Shirayuki-kun lmao It seems to be a quintessential edgy “get revenge on your cartoon bullies” escapist power fantasy, but the BL theming and excellent figure art have intrigued me… I normally wouldn’t read a story like this but sure, I’ll watch the “crazy” guy kill some kids for his crush, why not. Everything about this story is so over the top, though, so let’s see if I get annoyed enough to drop it before it concludes.

Tuesday

I’d been itching to read another Sammy Keyes book so I picked up Sammy Keyes and the Art of Deception today and finished it in one sitting lol I love this series so much that I’m trying savour them and not read them all at once, so it’s always a treat when I do get to read one. This entry was pretty cute, with some musings about the value and purpose of art in a way that a younger audience could appreciate and some more progress on the Sammy/Casey romance front, but the highlight for me was definitely seeing Rita take more of an active role in the mystery. It’s nice to learn more about her and see her step out of the “worried guardian” role for a bit, and the old people love quandrangle was really fun to watch play out. Personally I think Rita deserves to have a fling with Lance before marrying Hudson but that’s just me. The mystery was kind of the weakest link here, given how 80% of its runtime was less so about a specific crime and more “things seem suspicious, better investigate”, but it was still decently interesting.

Wednesday

I tried reading Moju by Edogawa Ranpo, but the translation was a little off and filled with typos and grammatical errors that I couldn’t really get into it (and after looking up the translator, it seems like this wasn’t a one-time occurrence). The intro itself was also meh – it seems a little ridiculous that after two run-ins with the blind man, Ranko wouldn’t connect the dots right away that the weird guy wearing sunglasses at her show is the same guy??? And I’m sure the ero-guro stuff was shocking for 1931, but now it just reads as edgy slasher stuff. So yeah, no thanks.

Thursday

DunMesh with a side of excellent spicy noodles today – I used水煮鱼 broth, shanxi noodles, ricecakes filled with cheese, spring onions, and some meatballs I made yesterday and oh my god it was so good. Possibly the best “throw stuff together” meal I’ve ever made for myself. I felt very immersed in the dungeon cooking experience. Watching Izutsumi learn how to actually relate to people and be a part of a team is very cute! Also a nice lesson in learning how to deal with things you don’t like in order to move forward in life.

Friday

Drag Race All Stars 9 huh… I have to be honest…I’m not really feeling this season… I’m glad that they’re competing for these great causes, but now it feels like Drag Race is trying too hard to be a “feel good” activism season and the vibes are just way off. This overly positive tone was fitting when it was the winners season and we were celebrating the girls’ achievements and how skilled they are at their craft, but it’s not really working for me here. I guess part of the issue is that there isn’t anyone I’m particularly rooting for in this group? And then not having eliminations sucked a lot of tension out of the room… I think I’ll actually skip this season entirely. I’ve been watching every main Drag Race and All Stars season since 6 and 3 respectively, but I’m just not compelled enough to continue with this one. I did watch the first episode, though, and it was alright. The song performance was weirdly good in a way where I feel like production stepped in to help (it definitely felt like they were trying to avoid turning the charity song into a meme if one of the verses flopped), but then the sudden perfume themed runway threw me way off. This is something that would’ve been its own main challenge back in the day (flashbacks to that extremely weird animated sidekick challenge from season 9??), and seeing it thrown in here for seemingly no reason was so weird. At least the voiceovers were all pretty funny, and the outfits were nice…except for Gottmik’s. Literally what was that…the placement of the chains was so weird and random and unflattering, and the base was just a basic black dress… Gottmik was a favourite of mine on season 13, so this was a bit of a disappointment. Plastique’s outfit was pretty amazing, I was marvelling at the mechanics of having two sets of wings that closed over each other…it’s definitely a step up from the Courtney Act wings, though those still have a special place in my heart. But yeah, the vibes are just off and I don’t want to watch the rest of the season.

Saturday

To be honest I was sad today but then a four hour video essay I’ve been anticipating for two years got posted just as I was about to eat dinner so I spent most of my day watching that instead of anything else

[glitch-in-the-code]

Here’s what I got for the lyrics, some I am unsure about

‘Keep me safely through the night

And wake me up with morning light

(No idea) to my bed

And four angels around my head

One too love/lose(?) and one too cry(?)

And one takes my soul away’

[peachyloveswriting]

Tired of the games

Pairing: Dark x reader

A/n: the request was really long so I'm putting them in separate posts. Please send me more ego stuff I'm getting tired of lupin

Warning: angsty

Requested by 🌸 anon

If there was a reset button for reality you would have removed it a long time ago, and whoever gave it to you would feel your wrath. Mark would have been the first to feel your anger but there he walked towards you from his cryo pod that sloppy smile on his face. He held out his hand.

"Let's go again shall we?" He offered. You cringed. You lost count a while ago when the jumps started repeating themselves. You weren't sure why but there was this greater sense to what you had to do. One more time, you told yourself as you joyously grasped his hand. For what seemed like the millionth time, Mark led you down the warp core hallway. Again the door opened and the blue swirl blinded your eyes, you squinted momentarily lifting your arm to cover your eyes. Maybe you were crazy but your heart rate was elevated, and you were beginning to feel lightheaded.

"Do you even know who you are?" You turned your head in the direction of the faint voice. It echoed around you, almost as if it was right beside you and far away at the same time.

"Captain?" You tuned to see Marks head turned to the side. You shrugged, motioning for him to go ahead.

"You sure?" He asked.

You nodded with an unsure smile. "Yeah." He nodded.

With a blue flash he was gone and soon you were too, the air around you breezing past and the roar of the twisting and turning wormhole around you destroying reality. Your mind was in a haze, nothing seemed right. You couldn't remember which doors you had already been in.

"It's time to wake up."

The cryo-pod hissed as you stepped out of it's threshold, the crew in the main room around you bustling to do their jobs. Unlike your normal view, everything was black and white, with hints of a red and blue chroma behind everything. It was a trip, and when Mark stepped out of his pod it got worse. Suddenly a loud ringing noise overtook your hearing. Instead of flinching at the loud noise you relaxed into it.

Damien, Celine, Mark, it was all coming back to you now. You grasped at his hand on your clothes. You could no longer feel your feet on the ground.

"No, this is my game! You are my pawn and you are not aloud to wake up!" Mark shouted. His voice reverberated in your chest, you shudder. He begins to walk with you in his grasp, the room growing hotter with every second that you struggle longer. He refuses to let go.

He pulls you closer before throwing you forward against as wall, the breath leaves your lungs as your back makes contact with the metal. Suddenly the chromatic effect on the world around you has gotten worse. You feel sick, the edges of sleep urging you forward. The ringing noise, which had begun to pierce your ears abruptly stopped, followed by a low echoing voice.

"Take a deep breath. It's okay now."

You looked up to see Damien kneeling beside you. One hand rested on your back while the other was on your cheek. He looked at you fondly, a pity in his eyes. You cringed.

"You're no better." You wheezed out, still recovering from your lungs hurting.

Damien leaned closer to you to hear you better, almost as if he was mocking you. Gritting your teeth you grabbed his dapper suit and yanked him closer to you.

"You're no better than that egotistical maniac." You spat lowly.

Damien pulled away from your grasp, shocked at your reaction. He opened his mouth as if to taste the air before he spoke, closing it again due to the bitterness. You spoke again.

"You never even asked if it was okay to take my body, I never had a choice." You pushed yourself to your knees. "And then you left me there in that mirror in that god awful mansion..." Your voice trailed off before it rose once more in anger. "...To rot!"

Damien stuttered. "I'm...I'm so sorry, I-" you interrupted him.

"Mark found me before you ever did, so it makes it hard to believe you ever loved me before that night." You were seething. Your chest heaving in pain as you collected your thoughts. The warm pools filled your eyes.

"You're using me for your petty revenge. You don't care."

Damien breathed in shakily, his eyes taking in your crumbled form before him. He was gentle lifting a hand and placing it on your shoulder before pulling you towards him. He embraced you in a hug, you moved further against him even though you wanted to stay mad. You just couldn't find the energy to move away.

"I love you, I do. I love you a thousand times over from the bottom of my heart." He whined into your ear, his breath hot against your skin as he spoke. Reaching up you grasped his clothes, not letting him move away.

"I'm scared." You whispered.

His free hand came yo rest on the back of your head. "It's okay. I'm here now and I'll continue to be here from now on."