#the untamed is a comedy

[cql-screenshots]

[askew-d]

i would just like to point down the fact that wei wuxian only washed away all the powder from his face after the juniors fought against the mysterious arm. he only wiped it a bit by then. which means that the cool "awake yet?" line where he pulled the corpses up was done with him looking like a clown who was drenched in rain.

the first time he saw his future husband in his new body was when he was looking so ridiculous he, himself, got terrified after glancing at the mirror. bitch was acting all powerful and awesome until you remember the whole time he was doing it looking like a buffonish puppet who oh so literally came to life.

wei wuxian's story sometimes is a fucking comedy, i swear. there's a reason why nobody respected him at first, i see it.

[honeysweets333-2]

It was 3 am😭😭😭

[thejasontoddarchives]

There’s a general consensus that above all else Jason should be homicidal again. However I think what’s also very important is that he should be a fucking hoot.

There’s nothing not funny about this entire bit.

1. He couldn’t give less of a shit about explaining that he’s single-handedly trying to stop a terrorist attack. Obviously cause he’s short on time, but even if he had all the time in the world he would still be this indifferent towards explaining himself to cops.

2. This bomb is seconds away from exploding but he’s at most mildly annoyed like he’s in the office doing some menial task.

3. The perfectly timed British jokes.

4. Circling back to number 1 on the list. After he throws the bomb into the water he just dips. For all they know he’s the (weird) terrorist. (But as long as everyone’s okay he doesn’t care! The beauty of Jason Todd everybody).

This one is funny (but it’s also true)? Like yes … that is exactly what you are. (A sweet, kind-hearted goodboy learning how to effectively poison people, shoot guns, and blow shit up with all manner of explosives like a certified pro).

Bonus:

Red Hood: The Lost Days #5 (2010-)

Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 (2010-)

“Not so irritating for an American” is a far more impressive title than “genius” if you ask me. Although I think Jason balances both pretty well.

[lesbianmaxevans]

#the duality of gay marriage

The Untamed 1.36 || Interview with the Vampire 1.01

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

I love AUs where Wen Zhuliu ends up a good guy for whatever various reasons but most of them do Not capture this man’s comedy potential. Wen Zhuliu doesn’t tell Wen Chao jack shit. Wen Zhuliu willingly drinks the wine he KNOWS Wen Ning spiked because it’s not lethal and therefore Not something he has to care about. He knows full well WWX doesn’t have a golden core and just stands there letting Wen Chao threaten to have him destroy WWX’s golden core. Like. The sheer overworked minimum wage employee energy this man exudes.

And I know, okay, I know that we’ve all collectively decided that it’s because he fucking hates his job, he hates Wen Chao, he hates the Core Melting Hand, but he feels honor-bound to deal with it, so he is going to do The Bare Minimum to comply with his personal code of loyalty and not a fucking shred more. Presumably, if he were working for someone he actually liked, who’s ideals he supported, he would be more engaged and enthusiastic!

But I still don’t think he’d tell anybody anything. I think he’d be more proactive and even more protective and compassionate (yes, compassionate, Wen Chao didn’t deserve it but the man was downright tender when treating his wounds; he clearly is capable of gentleness and even kindness) but I also think that if somebody tried to hurt you you would be the last person to know.

It would be like six months after the fact and you’d be like “Huh where did this stain come from?” And he would be like “yeah sorry I tried to get the blood out but that assassin flopped all over the floor I guess I missed a spot” and you’d be like “ASSASSIN??!” And he’d be like “yeah here I brought you tea” and then just Never Elaborate.

“I know this sounds crazy but these robes that look exactly like my favorite robes are Not my favorite robes and Cannot articulate how or why”

“Oh yeah the laundress was paid to soak them in poison so you’d die the next time you wore them. I threw the old ones out, commissioned an identical pair, and then killed the laundress and the guy who paid her.”

And you would just have to be like “Oh. Okay. Got it… thanks?”

[mirachan-tb]

Another animatic, pure crack this time, for the MDZS fandom (it has been a while!)

[waitineedaname]

Yo, friendo What's the best way to consume these funny doomed men I keep seeing?

( Didn't mean it literality, but I can't help but think that the answer is with spice )

depends on which ones!! there are two series I've been posting about a lot, both by the same author: SVSSS and MDZS!

Scum Villain's Self-Saving System/SVSSS is a book series, and you can read it physically (which I did through my local library for the first two books) or online on the Internet Archive or Anna's Archive (which I did for the last two books when I got too impatient to wait on my holds). It also has a ten episode long donghua called Scumbag System that covers most of the first book and it's terrible (affectionate). You can find that one on youtube or most anime pirating sites. In short summary, SVSSS is about a terminally online dude getting isekai'd into the villain of a webnovel he absolutely hates, and in his attempt to avoid the villain's horrible death he sends the story completely off the rails. It's unhinged, hilarious, and everyone in the series is a complete freak <3 It's only four books long (three of which are the main plot and the fourth is extras)

MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation is also a book series by the same author! Similarly, you can check your public library or the Internet Archive and Anna's Archive. It also has a donghua (which I haven't watched) and a wildly successful live action drama called The Untamed (which is how I initially got into the series!). The Untamed is available on Netflix and Youtube and probably other places. It does make some significant changes due to censorship reasons and it is extremely cheesy, but I enjoy it. If you want more classical tragedy, I'd say start with The Untamed, and if you want more gay necromancy shenanigans, I'd say start with the books! In short summary, it's about the life and death and second life of Wei Wuxian as he goes from war hero to widely reviled necromancer, and it's quite fun. The book series is five books long, and The Untamed is 50 episodes long. I have a character guide for that one if you need it because the names do get confusing!

[faithlike-mustardseed]

[cql-screenshots]

[hannigramislife]

This is literally the funniest description I could have possibly seen. Every time I read it, I laugh. Their entire dynamic captured quite beautifully 🫡😭

[coquelicoq]

For your Untamed Billy Joel Musical, have you considered "I Go To Extremes"? It would barely need any lyrics changed.

yeah that's such a good one! @needtherapy suggested in the notes on the only the good die young parody that wei wuxian sing it during sunshot, which is spot on, and then later in response to this VERY funny How Peaceful Is LWJ: Episode 36 post it occurred to me that it would be delightful to have drunk!lan wangji do a reprise...

other songs that would work with few lyrical changes, mostly courtesy of @winepresswrath and needtherapy from that first link:

river of dreams as a song for the yunmeng trio to sing from different parts of the stage while they're separated during the burial mounds era

shameless, which wei wuxian originally sings VERY over the top and tongue in cheek during the yin iron roadtrip, and then a reprise in the second life to which lan wangji has a very different reaction (@weatherfey's brilliant suggestion), and then lan wangji does a heartfelt reprise on the steps of jinlintai

AND SO IT GOES JIANG CHENG SOLO (still hurting over this tbh)

if i only had the words (to tell you) would be lan wangji when he's trying to get wei wuxian to come back to gusu with him

lullabye (goodnight, my angel) as a song jiang yanli sings to her brothers and her brothers sing to jin ling and a-yuan when they're missing her...this would serve as the yunmeng trio theme and the melody would recur at all their important moments

if you have jiang cheng singing the questions in big man on mulberry street to wei wuxian (just change the pronouns to you instead of i), you could make some cosmetic changes to the street names and plop it in the qishan indoctrination. or if you were willing to make some changes to the questions you could make it about wei wuxian not carrying his sword and his other assorted inexplicable (to jiang cheng) behavior during and post sunshot

state of grace is sooooo lan wangji to wei wuxian during sunshot and/or burial mounds coded. but almost all of it would work very well for jiang cheng as well...maybe they trade off verses

i also think lan wangji could do a lil summer, cloud recesses solo at some point during that same period. maybe when he's letting wei wuxian and the wens go?

honesty would be first sung by nie mingjue, then lan xichen could do a reprise in guanyin temple

wei wuxian sings a minor variation right after he fails to grow lotus in the burial mounds

you may be right is wei wuxian to lan wangji but i'm not really sure exactly how to get the timing work. i did a version with the first verse in the burial mounds and the second verse in xuanwu cave, but i'm not married to that

someone could maybe sing angry young man about wei wuxian, but i'm not sure who

she's got a way and/or leave a tender moment alone by jin zixuan

song lan gets everybody has a dream :)

just the way you are, lan wangji to wei wuxian post-resurrection

possibly wei wuxian all about soul about lan wangji sometime in the second life, though it's probably unnecessary

you're my home, ensemble cast (also see needtherapy's wangxian fanvid 🥺). curtain.

also see various lyrical rewrites in A Very Untamed Billy Joel Musical Ice Dance Extravaganza. thanks for your contribution to the billy joel cql fandom, you're welcome here any time 🥰

[thegreatgremlingang]

GUYS. MY FIRST FIC IS OUT.

READ IT !!!!! NOW!!!!!! OR I WILL BE IN YOUR WALLS AT 2AM TO PERSONALLY ENSURE THAT YOU READ IT!!!!!!

characters intended to be portrayed in the donghua appearance/style but I will let you imagine it in any adaptation you prefer

(prompt: Jin Ling's uncles learns brainrot and Jin Ling suffers)

[twistedappletree]

TYPE: One-shot

JURISDICTION: It’s fluffy, your honor.

PAIRING: Lan Sizhui/Jin Ling

SIDE CHARACTERS: Lan Jingyi, Fairy

ELEMENTS: Humor, junior banter, Gusu setting, canon universe, crush/light romance, wholesome interaction, helpless Jin Ling in an embarrassing situation because we love to see it~

{ AO3 }

•

In which Jin Ling is terrified of spiders, Lan Jingyi is a mischievous chaos gremlin and Lan Sizhui comes to the rescue on a night hunt gone hilariously wrong.

Requested by a friend. 🖤🕷️🕸️

The frigid night air whipped through Jin Ling’s hair as he leapt from branch to branch in pursuit of a straggling corpse. This was his first night hunt in Gusu without his uncle nearby to supervise. The feeling was both terrifying and liberating but he also knew his uncle’s expectations of him were much higher.

He had to hunt something big.

He launched himself into the air with the toe of his boot, readied an arrow in his bow and released it into the corpse’s head. It stumbled forward and collapsed to the ground with a pathetic groan.

Jin Ling landed beside its limp body and kicked it in the side for good measure.

A sudden whirlwind of white and sky blue descended from above along with the silver glint of a sword. The sword pierced through the corpse’s neck as its wielder landed gracefully beside Jin Ling.

Jin Ling clenched his fists and stomped one foot into the dirt. “Lan Jingyi, will you quit it already?!”

The young Lan disciple next to him wiped the blade of his sword and smirked, tossing his long black bangs to the side. “Why would I quit when it makes you so mad?”

“It was already dead!”

“It twitched.”

Jin Ling grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why are you even following me around? Can’t find your own prey or what?”

“You don’t know? I’ve been asked to keep an eye on Young Mistress Jin.”

Jin Ling’s eyes narrowed at the nickname. “And who’s keeping an eye on you and your annoying mouth?”

Lan Jingyi sheathed his sword and placed his hands on his hips with a triumphant grin. “No one! So you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

A strange breeze wove between them, directing their gaze to a darker section of the forest heavy with mist.

Seeing this, Lan Jingyi really did shut his mouth as the air around them turned glacial and sinister. Jin Ling took a step forward and squinted into the rapidly forming fog. “Corpses?”

Lan Jingyi shook his head. “I don’t think so. They would’ve attacked us by now. This mist, though…” He stepped forward with Jin Ling and outstretched his hand toward the growing cloud. “It feels natural but intentional. Like it’s camouflaging something.”

Jin Ling’s brows narrowed and a mischievous grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Then what are we standing here for? Let’s go see!”

In a blur of yellow robes and blind enthusiasm, Jin Ling flew into the mist as fast as he’d spoken. Lan Jingyi tensed and called, “Hey, wait!” as he reluctantly chased after him.

Though it was hard to see through the mist, a flash of yellow pierced his murky sight. He instinctively reached out, grabbed and pulled what he thought was Jin Ling’s clothes but when he yanked his hand back, a pained cry escaped from the young Jin disciple. Lan Jingyi looked down to see that he’d grabbed his hair instead.

Before he could let go and apologize, Jin Ling twirled around and thwacked him upside the ribs with his sheathed sword. Lan Jingyi wailed pitifully and buckled over. He held his side and hissed in pain. “The hell was that for?!”

Jin Ling shoved his peeved face through the mist and glared down at him. “What do you mean what was it for?! You almost ripped my hair out, idiot!”

Lan Jingyi whined and rubbed his sore ribs. “You really do have the temper of a young mistress.”

“Shut up!”

“Point proven.”

Just when Jin Ling was about to hit him again, a curious skittering noise came from the towering trees above them. Lan Jingyi winced as he rose to his feet. “Shit… I knew it.”

Jin Ling gave him a look of confusion and annoyance, still bitter about having his hair yanked like a horse with no reigns. He worked on fixing his loosened ponytail and asked, “Knew what?”

“This place, this fog—I knew it seemed familiar. There’s tales about mist covered nests deep in Gusu’s woods that belong to giant man-eating spiders.”

Jin Ling froze at the mention of spiders. Though he kept this fact to himself, he hated spiders and the thought of a gargantuan blood-thirsty spider speeding towards him on its abnormally large, spindly legs made his skin crawl. “I’ve… I’ve never heard of such a thing. Ridiculous! Probably just a lame rumor meant to scare kids and keep them out of the woods.”

“Maybe,” Lan Jingyi shrugged, “But I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the old man talking about it with HanGuang-Jun back at the Cloud Recesses.”

Jin Ling swallowed at the thought of Lan Qiren and Hanguang-Jun seriously discussing something like this. “Whatever,” he dismissed. “I see no webs and no spiders, so I’m going to go check out that noise and catch something. Stay here and keep scaring yourself with pointless stories if you wanna be a baby.”

Jin Ling did his best to hide his anxiety and whipped around before jumping up into the trees. Lan Jingyi scowled and scrambled after him. “Young Mistress Jin!” he shouted, hoping to anger him enough that he’d come back. However, Jin Ling ignored him and pressed on.

Irritated, Lan Jingyi closely followed the sound of rustling leaves and groaning wood as Jin Ling pounced from branch to branch above him. Finally, he heard a sudden ‘oof!’ as the noises in the trees stopped.

“Jin Ling?” Lan Jingyi called, unable to see anything through the dense fog.

“Wha… what is this?!” Jin Ling said, his tone strained and full of confusion.

Lan Jingyi heard the small twinge of panic in the other’s voice and followed it to a modest clearing where the mist was significantly thinner. He waved away the remaining milky haze until he was greeted by a sight so comically bewildering that he blinked several times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

In front of him was a giant spiderweb woven between the trunks of two strong trees and caught in the center was a struggling Jin Ling with all four limbs splayed like a flying squirrel hovering a mere four feet off the ground.

Lan Jingyi stared blankly for a moment before erupting with laughter. The vision before him was so hilariously satisfying that he almost fell over. Jin Ling’s rage was bubbling up again but he opted to ignore Lan Jingyi’s cackles and focused on trying to tear his hands and legs free. He punched and kicked and rocked forward but the web was surprisingly strong, as though it was specifically woven to catch human prey.

“This is too good, it’s too good!” Lan Jingyi chanted, practically rolling on the ground with wild amusement.

“Will you shut up already?” Jin Ling snapped. “I can’t focus with all your screeching!”

Lan Jingyi tried to catch his breath in between laughs. “If you didn’t storm off like a moody mistress, you wouldn’t have to focus on this.”

Jin Ling tried to lunge forward but it was no use. The web had him locked in place from head to toe. He exhaled and stopped trying for a moment. “Then how about you make yourself useful for once and get me out of here?”

Lan Jingyi pretended to contemplate while an impish idea surfaced in his mind. I’ll just leave him here for a bit to scare him, then come back to help, he thought. He choked back his laughter and composed himself before staring up at Jin Ling with a feigned serious expression.

“No way,” Lan Jingyi barked, his tone sharp but still laced with amusement. “It’s your own fault for barging into this situation, so get out of there yourself!”

Jin Ling fumed and flailed as much as his trapped limbs would allow. “Seriously?! If my uncle finds out you left me here, he’ll… h-he’ll…!”

Laughter bubbled out of Lan Jingyi. “He’ll what? Scold you for getting caught instead of doing the catching? He’d probably leave you here too!”

Jin Ling’s face burned with anger and embarrassment. “Then get me down so we can finish the hunt and actually catch something!”

Lan Jingyi crossed his arms and puffed out his chest like a cocky pigeon. “Nope. Think of this as a cultivation trial. If you can free yourself from that web before the spider comes back, you’ll be ready to face the deepest, darkest depths of Gusu’s wilderness.”

This was the second time he’d mentioned the spider. Jin Ling’s face paled at the thought of whatever mammoth eight-legged beast owned the web he was trapped in. He could barely handle normal sized spiders, though he’d never dream of revealing his fear to Lan Jingyi.

While Jin Ling manically tore through hypothetical scenarios and outcomes if the spider showed up, Lan Jingyi turned around and started walking away. “H-Hey!” Jin Ling shouted. “Where are you going?!”

“Hunting!” Lan Jingyi called back before disappearing into the trees.

Jin Ling huffed with frustration and wiggled around. “What a loser.”

He quickly realized that struggling only made the web’s grip on him stronger since the more he flailed, the more heavy strands of sticky silk wound themselves around his wrists and ankles. Burning the web away was out of the question since he couldn’t reach his talismans and calling his uncle for help was far too embarrassing.

He wouldn’t be surprised if his uncle really did just leave him there like Lan Jingyi predicted. Regardless, he couldn’t reach his flares either.

Jin Ling furrowed his brow and pouted angrily as he brainstormed. “I can’t believe I’m asking myself this,” he mumbled, “but what would Wei Wuxian do?”

Suddenly, he had a flashback to the last time Wei Wuxian ‘handled’ a difficult situation: by running around like a chicken with no head and shrieking for HanGuang-Jun to come save him.

“Useless!” he spat.

He didn’t know how Wei Wuxian could be so shameless, so ridiculous. The last thing he needed right now was another Lan showing up and gloating at his predicament.

Just then, a rustling noise came from the bushes to his right. He froze, remembering the spider but whatever was in the bushes was far too small to create such a large web. Jin Ling watched carefully as the fluffy head of a well-groomed dog popped out of the leaves accompanied by the gentle chime of a round bell around its collar.

“Fairy!” Jin Ling exclaimed. “Where have you been?! Quick, go get help from—“

Jin Ling grew quiet as more rustling came from the bushes and a tall, handsome boy dressed in the white robes of the Lan sect stepped out. He brushed a generous amount of twigs and leaves out of his raven bangs that had accumulated from following Fairy through the forest.

Jin Ling’s face blanched. “…Lan Sizhui…?!”

Lan Sizhui looked up at him with a pair of wide, doe-like eyes that sparkled quite brilliantly in the moonlight. His mouth fell open at the sight of Jin Ling in the web, not entirely sure how to respond to the situation.

“Young Master Jin! There you are,” said Lan Sizhui, a wave of relief in his pleasant voice. “Are you alright?”

Jin Ling glowered at him and turned up his nose. “Tch. How about you ask your annoying Lan twin? He’s the one who left me here!”

Lan Sizhui blinked. “Lan Jingyi…?” He sighed and walked closer to Jin Ling, Fairy trotting triumphantly at his side as though she’d brought her master his knight in shining armor.

Lan Sizhui studied both the web and Jin Ling for a moment and suppressed a chuckle. He looked up at him with a sympathetic smile. “You’re stuck?”

Jin Ling turned beet red and snapped, “I’m not!!!” I-I’m just thinking…!”

Lan Sizhui smiled again, amused by his unwavering pride and reached for a small hunting knife that was strapped to his upper thigh. While Jin Ling was trying his best not to look at him, Lan Sizhui began carefully cutting away the web around his wrists.

Jin Ling’s face was burning with humiliation. Out of all the people Fairy could’ve brought, it just had to be Lan Sizhui—the last person he’d ever want to see him like this. Not to mention, Lan Sizhui was almost a carbon copy of HanGuang-Jun, albeit much more talkative and expressive. Jin Ling mentally prepared himself for receiving a long-winded, boring lecture once he was saved.

After a few minutes of meticulously sawing through the web, Jin Ling’s right hand was freed. He thought about grabbing one of his talismans and burning the rest of the web but his thoughts were instantly scrambled by the tender way Lan Sizhui held his hand to help him balance.

Shocked speechless, he ripped his hand away and immediately fell forward at an awkward angle, crashing directly into Lan Sizhui’s shoulder. He went from holding his hand to hooking his one free arm around Lan Sizhui’s neck and he couldn’t decide which of the two positions were more embarrassing.

His paranoia told him that Lan Jingyi was hiding somewhere in the bushes watching, snickering and memorizing every detail for blackmail purposes. Jin Ling sneered at the thought.

He stared down at Fairy who was sitting obediently in front of the web, wagging her tail and watching with keen interest as Lan Sizhui worked on freeing Jin Ling’s other wrist. However, he wasn’t prepared for the offset of balance that came with both of his hands being freed. For a moment, he felt as if he was actually going to fall and all of his anger melted into a potent jolt of fear.

Jin Ling yelped as he quickly clasped his other hand around Lan Sizhui’s neck and trembled with nerves. “Wah—! Don’t drop me!”

Lan Sizhui blushed from seeing Jin Ling so worried. The way he was hugging his neck made his cheeks flush a few shades darker. He gently but cautiously patted Jin Ling on the back in an attempt to reassure him. “I won’t drop you. I’m not Lan Jingyi, you know.”

Jin Ling grumbled at the mention and plopped his chin onto Lan Sizhui’s shoulder, glaring into the distance like a perturbed cat.

“I’m doing your ankles next,” Lan Sizhui warned. “You can use my back for support, okay?”

Just as Jin Ling was about to protest, Lan Sizhui crouched down. Jin Ling’s torso propelled forward and he hastily propped himself up with his forearms, using Lan Sizhui’s back as a platform. If the positions before were embarrassing, this was simply mortifying. His eyes darted around his eerily quiet surroundings as he tried to think about anything other than Lan Sizhui’s selfless chivalry, the way his lean muscles moved beneath Jin Ling’s body as he cut the web, and the warm scent of orange blossom and cedar wood clinging to Lan Sizhui’s clothes.

But the only unrelated thought that came to mind was the spider. Suddenly, Jin Ling wished he’d kept thinking about Lan Sizhui and stealthily inhaled the clean scent of the Lan boy’s robes for comfort.

“Um… Sizhui?”

Hearing Jin Ling say his name without ‘Lan’ was a rare occurrence and usually meant he had something serious to say. Lan Sizhui glanced to his side in acknowledgment. “Yes, Young Master Jin?”

Jin Ling swallowed. “Are there really giant spiders in Gusu’s forests? And do they really eat people?”

Lan Sizhui smiled. “Lan Jingyi’s been telling his horror stories, I assume?”

Jin Ling deflated onto Lan Sizhui’s back with an exasperated huff. “So he lied to me.”

“Not entirely,” Lan Sizhui revealed. “There’s giant spiders in the forest but they rarely eat people since nobody ever ventures that far in. I’m actually surprised you managed to find a web so close to the Cloud Recesses.”

Jin Ling furrowed his brow. “I really have rotten luck, then.”

Lan Sizhui laughed and shook his head, his hands still working dexterously at the webs around Jin Ling’s ankles. “For this situation, I’d say you lucked out. Take this web, for example—it’s still sticky enough to catch things but it’s fairly old and probably abandoned. Even if I’d showed up later than I did, the worst that could’ve happened is you being stuck here for a bit longer.”

Jin Ling slapped a fist down onto the small of Lan Sizhui’s back, causing the taller boy to rock forward from the shock. “That’s still a ‘what if’ scenario! I swear I’m gonna sic Fairy on Lan Jingyi the moment I see him next!” His voice fell quiet as he crossed his arms and looked off to the side. “I really could’ve died out here.”

A caring softness spread across Lan Sizhui’s face and his voice came in a barely audible whisper. “I’d never let that happen.”

“Huh?”

“Hm?” Lan Sizhui replied, pretending as if he didn’t say anything. “Ah, nothing.”

Finally, both of Jin Ling’s ankles were freed and he scrambled up Lan Sizhui’s back until his arms were hooked around his neck again. Lan Sizhui held him at the waist and carefully lowered him to the ground, letting him tap the toe of his boot on the dirt to make sure it was safe before planting his feet.

Jin Ling slumped his shoulders and sighed with relief, glad to be out of the web. Lan Sizhui expected him to go back to his fiery, combative self but to his surprise, Jin Ling frowned up at him with a bashful, apologetic expression.

“I… t-thank you for helping me.”

The words seemed incredibly difficult for him to say but they were earnest. He could tell by the way Jin Ling’s amber eyes burned with gratitude like a storm of autumn foliage. The sight was rather breathtaking, though he didn’t dare admit this out loud. Lan Sizhui blinked in disbelief before settling into a friendly smile. “Of course. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Jin Ling blushed again and quickly looked at the ground, the sincerity of Lan Sizhui’s words setting his nerves alight.

“Oh,” Lan Sizhui said, eyes trained on Jin Ling’s wrists. “Let me see your hands.”

Jin Ling snapped his head back up. “H-Huh? Why?” Even as he asked the question, he subconsciously lifted his hands as if Lan Sizhui’s melodic voice possessed him to do so.

“The webs,” Lan Sizhui said. When he smiled, his eyes smiled too and Jin Ling paused to study the way his irises shifted from indigo grey to deep azure to cold amethyst in the moonlight—so strikingly opposite to Jin Ling’s wildfire gaze. He couldn’t look away even if he tried.

With his hands hovering in the air, Lan Sizhui began untangling the remainder of the webs from Jin Ling’s wrists and discarded the thick silk strands onto the ground.

Fairy immediately took notice of this and trotted over to Jin Ling’s ankles. She bit and gnawed at the webs on his boots and ripped them away quite efficiently. Lan Sizhui grinned at her efforts. “Good girl! Your master is lucky to have you.”

Normally, Jin Ling would’ve retaliated by now but Lan Sizhui glanced back up at him only to find he was frozen in place with a look of bewilderment as if he’d realized something important and didn’t know how to process it.

Lan Sizhui’s fingers lingered on his wrists for a moment. He frowned and tilted his head. “Young Master Jin? Are you feeling alright?”

Jin Ling finally looked down at where Lan Sizhui’s slender fingers grazed his skin and blushed so furiously he thought his head might explode. He felt dizzy and warm and unable to function. When Lan Sizhui suddenly reached up to brush a strand of spider’s silk from his hair, his chest buzzed like a hive of bees.

“Sorry,” Lan Sizhui said sheepishly. “I just noticed it now.”

For whatever reason, a million thoughts were running through Jin Ling’s mind that he would’ve slapped himself for earlier. Maybe it was the air or the time of night or some strange delirium from being trapped in the web—he couldn’t be sure. He just knew that right now, in this moment, he really liked Lan Sizhui.

He liked his tranquil eyes and gentle smiles. He liked the way his soft raven bangs swept over his headband and tempted his fingers to brush them to the side. He liked that he had to look up at him because of their height difference. He liked how his quiet, soothing voice washed over him in clement waves.

But most of all, he liked the way he touched him. Cautious but daring, soft yet protective. Jin Ling realized that from the moment Lan Sizhui showed up, he felt safe regardless of how many fits he threw.

“Sizhui,” Jin Ling said, trying his best to regain himself. “Can we…”

There was a significant pause between them but Lan Sizhui waited, afraid he might scare Jin Ling into saying ‘never mind’ if he interrupted. He didn’t even know what he expected him to say but he felt anxious with anticipation.

“Can we stay together? For the rest of the hunt?” Jin Ling immediately tore his gaze away from Lan Sizhui, shocked at how such simple words could be so humiliating to say.

Lan Sizhui’s lips parted and his eyes glistened with surprise. He lightly squeezed Jin Ling’s wrists and beamed at the request. “Of course.”

Jin Ling looked back at him with a shining expression, drinking up every detail of Lan Sizhui’s smiling face. When Lan Sizhui released his wrists, he suddenly felt cold so he sidled up beside him as close as he could without causing suspicion.

Their shoulders brushed together as they left the now mangled web and walked back into the forest, Fairy trotting happily behind.

“I’m still gonna kill Lan Jingyi,” Jin Ling muttered.

“Let’s just work on killing corpses for now,” said Lan Sizhui, laughing nervously.

“I’ll turn him into a corpse first, then!”

Lan Sizhui sighed. Senior Wei, what have you been teaching my a-Ling?

{ 🖤 }

[sweetlittlevampire]

SNOW LEMONADE

Rating: G | 3172 words | One-shot | Wangxian

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting | Romance | Romantic Comedy | Getting to Know Each Other | Falling In Love | First Meetings | Meet-Cute | Kid Fic | Happy Ending | Podfic Welcome

In which A-Yuan tries to sell snow at his makeshift lemonade stand to buy himself a bunny plushie and ends up acquiring a Rich Gege in the process.