#the un is useless btw
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lewishamiltonstuff · 9 months ago
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Biden would risk a wider regional war than stop Israel from committing genocide.
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justacynicalromantic · 1 year ago
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Russia has hit Odesa's civilian grain export infrastructure again last night, for the third night in a row. This is a deliberate attempt to create high food prices in Africa and the Middle East. Deliberate.
The UN is no longer able to keep the peace. If it isn't capable of creating a convoy to protect the export of Ukrainian grain, then it's time to shut the whole institution down.
(and of course they also hit civilian houses)
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isneezelikeamouse · 1 year ago
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It’s insane how the us’ one vote is able to veto the votes of 13 whole other fucking countries. like are you serious
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null-doesnothing · 1 year ago
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Could you explain how bbc ruined john? I grew up with that sherlock
yeah sure!
basically, to put it simplest, BBC's John Watson is not anything like John Watson as a character. As a standalone character I think I wouldn't have cared nearly as much? I mean I still personally wouldn't like him cuz he was kind of a piece of shit at times but I can still find the appeal in that. no the main issue I face is that he just acts nothing like Watson and tbh like- a lot of his actions even go against Watson's ideals??
first of all his relationship with Holmes (im gonna be using their last names here because calling them by their first names feels wrong to me) is just- weirdly negative? I don't know, him constantly making Holmes out to be a total asshole and a villain in his life is SO out of character. (though to be honest it's warranted given how out of character Holmes is in that show too, he's a total asshole for no good reason)
I think honestly the best example of this change with Watson's personality and how drastic it is, is The Empty Hearse/The Empty House
in The Empty Hearse, John's immediate reaction is to PHYSICALLY HARM Sherlock
in The Empty House, Watson's immediate reaction is (and I'm not even kidding) to faint, be woken up, and be incredibly starstruck and just happy that his best friend is alive
(I don't have a clip of BBC Sherlock but I do have one of Granada Holmes, which is the most accurate to ACD/book canon)
this also very much highlights the difference between BBC Sherlock and ACD Holmes, but that's besides the point
I'd also like to mention something that really especially annoyed me and that's that he?? is literally useless in that show???? Watson in the books is really intelligent and helps Holmes in numerous cases as well as gives his input (WHICH HOLMES TAKES TO HEART AND DOESNT JUST COMPLETELY IGNORE, BTW 🙄🙄 that always ticked me off with BBC) and does more than just get kidnapped a couple times and take notes.
ALSO ACD WATSON WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HIS WIFE!!! OR BLAME HOLMES FOR MARY'S DEATH!!! NEVER!! would absolutely never happen. (though to be fair, ACD's equivalent of Mary's death happened in the 3 year gap between The Final Problem and The Empty House, so, yk)
if they met BBC Watson would not leave that room without broken bones lmao
idunnoidunno its a lot of "WATSON WOULD NEVER DO THAT" moments and gut feelings, it's difficult to describe properly, I found it very difficult to root for him when I felt like he was an un-likeable protagonist idkidk
(additionally they removed his fucking mustache and that is their worst offense /hj)
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anachronismstellar · 6 months ago
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NHS post canon
Here we go folks! All the requests for NHS on the Wip Wednesday community!
If you wanna see more of this, don't hesitate to send me an ask! :D Make me write!
@aparticularbandit
He ought to let go of his dark thoughts for now. It wouldn't be a good idea to let his mask slip, even if no one called him “Headshaker" no more, not every one knew the monster that lurked behind it.
The innkeeper brought his bottle, leaving right after with a quick bow, rushing to tend to other tables, the place too busy for him to keep all his attention on Huaisang.
@post-and-out
He had chosen to wear more discreet robes today, but still, there weren’t many cultivators that kept a saber instead of a sword, and even fewer ones that carried a fan like he did. With these two things combined, it wasn’t hard to identify him if one knew what to look for. And people knew what to look for.
@wizisbored
That's precisely the reason why he sat on the far back of the room, not to hide himself, he knew it was useless to try to do so, but to have an ounce of privacy while he waited. If one thing he learned from his revenge was that the Cultivation world was worse than old ladies with gossip; no Sect Leader could sneeze without it being the hot topic for the week. At some point, he had started to fan himself again, slowly sipping his wine, watching the room emptying as time passed by.
@1attheedge
He wasn’t hunting ghosts but hunting nonetheless and would do him no good to expose himself early in the game.
Finally, when he had almost lost hope and left the inn, the room dove into silence, followed by a flood of talking. Whispers of “Lan-gongzi” spread like fire, even so he kept his eyes away from the striking figure dressed in white and blue, pretending not to see him walking straight towards Nie Huaisang's table.
@scifikimmi (Ikr?? I love him too, fav dark gray moral blorbo ♡)
Hn. Maybe finishing a second bottle hasn't been the best idea, he thought as he tried to ignore the tingle in his fingers, the heat burning his stomach. He knew better than to drink so much, especially Emperor's Smile, it left him in a bad mood, resentment dripping from him like a summer rain, but he could only stand so much of Caiyi Town without alcohol to cope.
@whimsicalmeerkat
“Nie-zongzhu.”
Ah. Here we go, then.
Nie Huaisang took a moment to look at the Lan disciple in front of him, keeping his movements sluggish, an aloof smile on his lips. He didn't get up, but he tilted his body deeply forward as a sign of respect.
@disastardly
“Lan-gongzi,” he answered back, gesturing for the other to sit down. “What an honorable surprise. Would you like some tea? This inn has a lovely blend, I believe it is Zewu-jun's favorite.”
@gnomer-denois
The flinch was so honest that Nie Huaisang almost felt bad for the boy. Well, not actually a boy anymore. The kid had grown up to be a fine man, and probably he would be a very good Sect Leader, some day from what Huaisang had heard.
@agent-p-94
“Nie-zongzhu, with all due respect, I only came here to understand the meaning of this,” then he threw a sheet of paper on the table, the good quality and weight making it land on the wood with a soft thump. Huaisang stared as his own handwriting, not bothering to read the content but searching for any clues of it being altered somehow. Not that he believed that any person from the Lan Clan would do anything to it. It would certainly break at least ten rules if they did so. But. Well.
@lizhly
(no regrets no mercy >:) but who knows, this talk might help him with all the resentment! lol)
Old habits die hard, don't they, San-ge? “I'm glad to help, Lan-gongzi. Which part didn't you understand?” “EVERYTHING!” he shouted in the most un-Lan manner Nie Huaisang had ever seen.
And that's all for NHS pos Canon! Where am I going with this? No idea! Was I planning to add poor Lan Jingyi to NHS mess? Nope! But I love him and I wanna try my hand at a more mature LJY.
BTW, MDZS has a lot of honorifics and cultural aspects that I only know from watching the live action and the animation. I did a lot of research, but this is my first time writing for the fandom. If I need to change anything or if there's any Mandarin/cultural mistakes, please let me know!
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bewitched-bullet · 10 months ago
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Here, have my courage. 🖕🏻It's so obvious that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about! John was never abusive or told other characters what to do or how to do play their characters. Your intuition is useless. He was and is always encouraging (which was also obvious in the screenshots Lestrade mod shared (such a shit move to share private messages btw.)- "just join in and do your thing, you'll be fine"- that's all that was asked. You could not be more wrong, even if you tried to.
The issue was between Sherlock and John and you are creating drama where there is none. It's great that you tagged your post with #mental abuse and #emotional abuse because that is EXACTLY what you are doing right now.
Let me ask you something? What are you trying to achieve? Bashing the rp because we are not organised? Because we are trying to have fun? Wow, the entitlement. 🙄 We are doing this for fun and nothing else and you are draining the fun out of it with insane accusations and the most ridiculous 'investigation'.
None of us is scared to speak out, certainly not of John because he couldn't be nicer.
And you are always talking about 'evidence'? What evidence? I have not seen a single screenshot the proves any of your claims. Get a life and let us have our fun.
And don't give me your 'oh, you are so brave for speaking out'. Or the 'oh, I see you have big feeling about this.' Every time someone speaks out in favour of John you ridicule them. You are biased. You have no morals.
Well,
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Good of you to drop the anon asks and post Un-anonymously.
⚠️
A word to all of the community before I begin.
Despite their foul attitude and spicy vibe, I will request that none of you harass this mods account.
It's personally not my style or mode in which I move in this world. And I would be unhappy to hear someone did so in my name mistakenly believing I would sanction such an action.
⚠️
Soooooooo....Harriett mod, you ARE feeling some big feels about this, whether or not you want to recognize it. It's very plain in the way and how you are using your words.
Oh, my!
You just now confirmed that the John mod and the Mycroft mod are one and the same!
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"John [the mod that plays him] was never abusive or told other characters [mods] what to do or how to play their characters. [Redacted] He [John mod] was and is always encouraging. (Which was also obvious in the screenshots Lestrade mod shared...
Which was also obvious in the screenshots Lestrade mod shared...
Welp
Cat's outta the bag now!
And you doubted my intuition. Glad we got some facts and proof to support my lizard brain.
So many things that can be said about all the...deflection, projection, etc but...I'll let your own words here and elsewhere speak for you.
Oh, yeah, of course I'm biased against fishy situations and those that bully. Biased for victims, children, animals, and old folks.
Also, an anon called me out on getting to into my feels and biases and I agreed with them.
As for morals? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL of course my morals will not match yours.
What do morals mean to you?
This is my definition: a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.
My morals are my own. I make them for me, myself, and I. It just so happens that a few of my personal morals are shared with the general public.
Anywho, thank you for the energy you put into this. It was delicious.
🥨
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 2 years ago
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this is part 2 of my extremely long lore update of my missing month in tumblr. here's part 1 <3
i'll also put this one behind the cut just in case
26. we start when this extremely important event happened !!!
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THEY'RE PLAYING 'MÚSICA LIGERA' IN THE SUPERMARKET
[there is a lyric in música ligera [go listen to it. or else] that goes 'la música de fondo en los supermercados' so 'the background music at the supermarkets']
27. when spring officially started and suddenly life was bearable once again
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28. the sequel.
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bomb the ucm [yes. i tweeted the exact same thing]
24 nearly 25 years old and i just learned how to sign stuff with the electronic certificate. i want to shoot my foot i can't do this anymore
the thing is today i've been 3 hours calling the same 4 fucking numbers every 10 minutes only for them to tell me 'hahah everything you did last week is useless lol. but don't worry the deadline is thursday you still have time :)' [this was on a tuesday btw]
the world if the digital certificate and autofirma didn't exist
so yeah. everything i did on march 15th was useless. lol. i sent proof of my physical deposit of the application and they told me i couldn't <3. in the end i had to sign it digitally through a different administrative process and lol. i hate bureoucracy so fucking much.
28. i do love taylor swift but yeah
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the eras tour: bellodrama tour:
-without ana mena -with ana mena
-52728€ tickets -22€ tickets
-she doesn't sing 'las 12' -she sings 'las 12'
the choice is yours
29. it's time for the 'hole in the bedroom' arc <3
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[pic 1]
today my bedroom disappears
it wasn't a joke
[pic 2]
do you like my new setup?
SO. i honestly can't remember if i said this here but idk almost a month ago now i guess some of my floorplanks strated to lift. out of nowhere. so we called people to look into it and there was a water leak. so they had to dismantle my bed (you can see the frame in the lighter floorboards lol) and now i sleep in the attic; a room my dad has always used to hoard stuff <3 yesterday they filled the hole so that's nice, but now they have to slash the floor and for that they need all of the furniture gone. my house is basically just a long hallway so there just isn't enough space. it's gonna be fun :) oh and also we've decided to paint the room while we're at it. so i'll probably won't be able to sleep here for at least a month i imagine. this is my current setup btw, i'm writing this from here:
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30. this one's a preamble of what's to come. i'm so sorry.
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me: existing at any moment
my brain: i think it's time to play 'me he pillao x ti' on a loop
[now it's doing the same but with 'un clásico' <3]
31. ANA MENA WORLD DOMINATION DAY
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i'll do the small tweets first and then go in chronological through pics 5, 6, and 7
GOOD DAY
the way i know for a fact that 'me he pillao x ti' would've appeared on skam españa s2 if the show had been made now
if i am already annoying with ana mena the day i fall for someone i'll be incredibly unbearable i want y'all to know it
i want ana mena to know she's changed lives today
[pic 6]
the pause in the first listen of bellodrama to listen on loop to 'me he pillao x ti' is so real actually
no words with 'un millón de lunas'
MENAmoro [i fall in love]... her mind
ana mena has made me want to go out and party for the first time in my life i can't
[pic 7]
why all songs in bellodrama have their titles with the first letter capitalized Like This except Tomorrow god Will Say? what is she trying to tell us
reply to the tweet: atheist legend
[pic 8]
i didn't choose to be anamenista i only was lucky
ana mena you gave us everything
ana mena you are the pop artist of this generation. you are everything and you are summer and the sun and margaritas. you give everything and you're the best.
i love you ana mena
32. i went back to working on my fantasy book :)
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i am gonna try working on my fantasy book after more than half a year. wish me luck.
665 words #slay
33. i know you missed me talking about fictional shows that don't even exist but here you go
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i need there to exist some kind of glee españa specifically so a character can sing this song to their crush and i can finish losing my mind
33. this is the last ana mena post I SWEAR
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(chronologically)
half of the views are mine
the way i hadn't listened to it before the album dropped and now i'm OBSESSED
34. la caixa incident
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can someone explain to me how la caixa, a catalan business, is telling me to send them documents in english for the scholarship??
so yeah. the sent me an email telling me they needed some documents in english i had sent them in spanish (which lol) and after doing so proceeded to accept my application :) apparently it's a pretty fucking good scholarship so i'm a bit hopeful i'll be able to make it <3
35. places i've been to in spain!
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i know i have to visit the north more i know
36. my most listened to songs in march 💀
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37. MANDATORY MEMORIAS DE IDHÚN TWEET THAT IS SCARILY ACCURATE TO MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
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i am fascinated with the fact that one day laura gallego wrote three fat ass books projecting herself into a unicorn girlie that's involved with two dudes without knowing that with them she would forever change the brain chemicals of a new generation of spanish writers
38. and that's it :)
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PEOPLE I GOT BACK MY TUMBLR ACCOUNT WE WON
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the-lokal-homo · 10 months ago
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One really un useless talent I have is mixing words. By that, I mean that I gave things in my bedroom a mix our of human names and their terms. An example is my tv, which is called "Bildhard," "bild" is btw the German word for picture so it's a mix out off the German/human name Gerhard and the German word for picture.
My door is called "Türsten" (Tür= door in german/ Torsten is a human name)
My wall is called "Wandter" (Wand= german word for wall/Walter a human name)
My trashcan is called "Müllreiner" (Mülleimer= german word for trashcan/ Reiner a human name)
My closets are called Frank and Franke (Schrank=german word for closet/ Frank, a male name, and Franke the female equivalent)
My heater is called "Heinzung" (Heizung=german word for heater/Heinz a human name)
There are MANY more, but I am actually too lazy to get out of my bed and look (they all have a name tag), but really, what us this skill useful for?? Yes, it's fun when I am like, "Haha, I am on a relesbianship" bc I'm in a lesbian relationship. But other than that?? No use
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lehemoth · 1 year ago
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the UN is fucking useless btw
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pipdrems-blog · 6 years ago
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❝ our rules, our dreams, we’re b l i n d –– blowing shit up with homemade dy-dy-dynamite ❞
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spencstan · 4 years ago
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Six of Crows re-read
(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)
spoiler alert obiously
i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)
JOOST HI
oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey
so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared
i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok
joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood
anyone wanna teach us how to???
i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..
but i won't don't worry
(won't I?
"I think Yuri may be quarantined"
aaaand?
so are we you are not special
i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first
and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro
Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio
Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores
for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)
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say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af
another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"
(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf
i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter
anya is super badass tho
skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej
Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
KAZ
INEJ
I MISSED THEM
omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING
we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice
ok moving on!
now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias
hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!
AAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA
JESPER FAHEY
JESPER LOVE HI
SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF
I MISSED HIM OMG
OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT
can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?
i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen
he´s such a nerd
i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets
AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG
picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns
Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."
"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."
ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s
honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)
nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means
in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass
no hate tho i like the dregs
but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever
and it said "the dregs"
which in the translator means something like shit or something
anways moving on:
If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy
i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now
imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people
cute
"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty
"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".
YES
YESSS
i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))
i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov
the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((
Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.
ma'am
marry me please
i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg
me simp
That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.
idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper
it makes me soft
But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.
underrated saying from Inej's father right there
"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"
"You're a thief, Kaz."
"Isn't that what I just said?"
i-
i see no lies here
not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)
jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity
Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"
"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.
he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)
hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it
i would've been mad too
"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"
KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS
this is one of the best quotes in the book by far
YASSS KAZ POV
Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.
cute
but kaz is petty af
he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!
i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready
i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs
idk why but it's so good
And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.
wonder what that could be!!! /s
He grinned at her (...)
"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.
KANEJ YESS
HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG
this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered
"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."
YES WYLAN OMG
One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder
happens to the best of us :/
"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"
if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot
agreed?
it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang
NINA'S POV YESSS HIII
nina and inej omg
their friendship is just perfect
POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES
i would straight up cry
Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her
i'm gonna cry damn it
this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed
jesper has adhd part 2:
"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy
"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)
"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch
the time blindness come one
(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)
i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly
its so unnecessary lmao
yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan
and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao
as he should
"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina
"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"
THESE TWO OMG
JESPER IS THE LOML
INEJ OMG LOOK:
She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones
(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.
i-
that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch
AAAAAAA
PEOPLE
PEOPLE
TIME TO FREAK OUT
WYLAN IS HERE
AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE
ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:
"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.
ok first of all: stimming
second of all: hyperactivity
i rest my case
ok 2 or 3 things here
"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"
"Raske is better," Inej said
The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"
"He knows his trade"
"So do I"
ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej
2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF
2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af
3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself
like i wish i could do that
i would be crying like a bitch
AAAAAAAA
"Meet Wylan Van Eck"
KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL
HI WYLAN BABY
YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW
I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov
Jesper stared at Wylan
do i sense some wesper?????
ok everyone is being so mean to him right now
they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit
poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read
it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now
"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."
(...)
"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"
GET READY
ARE Y'ALL READY?
OK THEN:
"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.
She nodded. "Definetly."
THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG
AND THIS QUOTE
I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US
"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)
"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?
"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.
"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.
"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.
"You're all horrible," said Matthias.
tag yourself i'm jesper
KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company
and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????
AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)
AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS
ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up
idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter
but stiiiiiil
LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ
nice try
demjin
*insert spongebob voice* demjin
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA
BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T
The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.
*ugly crying*
Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.
*uglier crying*
TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME
jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):
That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.
do i really need to explain this?
ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much
i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"
like sir
have you seen yourself?
you're tall af
HE GOT SHOT
WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE
"Close your eyes!"
"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"
"Just do it!"
i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES
YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS
inej just stabed some guy int the d
good for her!
KAZ YESSSS HI
AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE
KANEJ FOR LIFE
oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)
my Wraith omggg
ok 3 things about this:
Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.
"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)
Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."
"It's not right-"
"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"
1. wesper yasssss
2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him
3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad
he's brave and a good person and i just-
"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.
"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him
this had no right being so funny
AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T
nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong
unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it
like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya
jesper has adhd part ??:
Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions
hyperactivity right there
and restlessness
"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)
"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)
this conversation must be so stressful to him omg
LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY
AND HE SHAVED HIM
ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid
like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)
and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????
the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM
THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY
i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now
it's because theya re idiots
"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"
wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad
Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."
Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."
"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.
i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom
jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX
"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."
i love this because it happen when they had just met
he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)
Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)
"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."
I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN
and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad
"And you don't belong here, either."
"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"
"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"
He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."
Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"
DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM
also
"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."
"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)
aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding
Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.
ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd
wesper
aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him
"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."
Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"
LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there
(and i can see why people ship them romantically)
STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)
Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters
"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."
should i kill him? anyone want to join me?
Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)
"You're too good for him, you know?"
"I know. So are you"
jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy
Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.
jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore
this chapter is full of kanej i love it
"What do you want, then"
You, Inej. You forever.
jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf
kaz's backstory makes me sad
"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)
"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."
Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."
"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.
JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS
i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg
"It's not natural for women to fight."
"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."
QUEEN
YOU TELL HIM
oh no the dead grisha
this part breaks my heart every time
"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"
.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here
anyways acab
stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it
and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry
and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them
"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"
..........
i'm gonna leave this here again
do with it what you will
"Don't mock what you don't understand."
"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"
i- this conversation is so important
AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM
WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT
INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO
THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)
Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."
Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"
YES BABY YOU DID GREAT
kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy
but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect
"Remeber our friend Mark?"
HELP I CAN'T
"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"
The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."
once again jesper and kaz being besties
unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other
the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled
"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."
DAMN
ma'am marry me please
kaz fainted damn poor boy
unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone
like you can tell leigh improved so much
her characters are better and their arcs are better developed
the writing itself it's better
or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved
INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON
I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH
Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.
Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"
inej is smart af
Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.
ok i got a couple of things to say about this part
first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time
i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough
an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)
and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).
and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough
one more thing and i'm done i promise
unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz
ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs
oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have
"My father used to take me everywhere with him"
this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit
it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck
"You're cuter when you're smart"
(...)
"Definitely cuter when you're smart"
wesper yesssss
i love them so much
ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals
and he was going to the university at like 15
AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR
amazing plot twist
also:
Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.
oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush
and you love him
who said that? definitely not me, nope
awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute
imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist
cute
Better terrible truths than kind lies
just leaving here more of inej's wisdom
ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???
Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)
"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."
Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"
a bad working memory? sounds familiar
kaz loves puzzles
it's canon
"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."
this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time
I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?
this makes me want to cry so much
another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them
"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"
"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."
"We could wake them up"
WYLAN
NO
damn the boy needs therapy
it's amazing how nothing went like they planned
not a single thing
PEOPLE GET READY
ARE YOU READY?
NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES
"What do you like?"
"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."
ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it
"If only you could talk to girls in equations."
There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"
Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.
wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me
this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that
btw i love the slow burn
like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck
i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"
like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters
matthias fake betrayal killed me
i tought it was real
I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.
this is just-
also foreshadowing?
YAYY KUWEI HI
There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.
She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.
if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it
He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her
THIS
THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE
they are the only straight couple that matters
everyone else go home
Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.
so cute omg
"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"
KAZ
i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it
KAZ IS SMILING OMG
EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME
HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM
"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"
"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"
this part breaks my heart and i love it
"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"
"And after," he said. "And always."
i just- helnik is perfect
AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN
my daily dosis of wesper :)
ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him
Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)
Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.
*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???
btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK
this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why
I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW
"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."
YES TELL HIM
the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg
"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.
SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF
THAT IDIOT
I HATE HIM SO MUCH
I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME
Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.
YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT
JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW
"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"
"Not as a rule"
Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"
"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.
THIS WAS PERFECT
THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT
(...), and Jesper flinched
baby he recognized wylan's voice
The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"
BITCH THIS IS AMAZING
THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM
AND HE WON THE BET
A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.
i love it when they compliment him
my boy deserves all the compliments ever
AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS
Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read
this is taking me to some real places
i may cry you've been warned
WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI
this is making me cry
"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."
EXACTLY
YOU TELL HIM WYLAN
Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.
BABY
i would've done the same tho she's pretty
amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out
Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"
nothing to say here except: wesper
You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"
"Every time."
i want to cry so bad
"Why does it matter?"
"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."
a very staright and platonic thing to say of course
i know jes we all liked his stupid face
"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."
YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND
And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little
even kaz know they like each other come on
Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.
wylan give him a hug fro me please
he needs it
"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.
"Definitely," agreed Wylan.
i miss inej already
And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.
i'm ugly crying and so what?
and now we're done....
i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy
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onewomancitadel · 3 years ago
Note
THANK YOU!!! SOMEONE ELSE WHO THINKS PORTMANTEAUS ARE FINE AND EVEN GOOD!!!!! i dont get the obsession in this fandom with the It Needs To Have A Fancy Schmancy Name!!!! ren/ora, em/ercury, schnee/kos are all super cute it isnt their fault the main girls names are un portmanteau-able for inner-team shipping 😤😤😤 (though i'm going to assume the reason no one mass used arc/fall was because thats also the name of a video game? but you run into the same issue with knight/fall LMAO)
Okay I'm glad we both share this sentiment. I legiterally do not understand... the fussy ship names... talking to somebody outside R/WBY fandom is impossible. My best mate is watching it for the first time and I mention ship names and she's like wtf are you even talking about. Yang's bike?
I would have tolerated white/rose and bumble/bee if the rest of them didn't also follow that pattern. But yeah portmanteaus are supreme in the respect of Tumblr fandom in particular (this is the context I'm really talking about). I saw an Excel spreadsheet somebody made on the R/WBY subreddit years ago which was every possible permutation of a ship in the show, with special names, and I was like... wow okay... that's how it is, that IS pretty dedicated admittedly. I always thought the anti-portmanteau crowd was because of a different shipping ecosystem? Well it's hostile to fandom life.
I shall readily admit that portmanteaus are not a big deal if you're talking about pre-Tumblr fandom and - God forbid - post-Tumblr fandom (and fuck Twitter in particular because that site is fucking useless for interaction - trying to have a conversation or share anything about a ship or character you're interested in - it's impossible. To talk interaction I have much more fun on Tumblr even with the post-December 2018 exodus, compared to Twitter where 'everybody is' I guess when I talk to nobody even with ostensibly more followers and users).
Anyway, this is sort of a fandom issue in the sense of cultivating a space where people can interact (fun, good) and share things they care about (also good) and avoid things they dislike (also necessary) and also cater specifically to me (who is being annoyed by petty things which don't matter). Well, I think it sort of matters in the sense of 'this is one of my major hobbies' lol, and also like, I enjoy interacting with other people who like the ship I like. The way to do that is have a common language.
Btw love the irony of Arcfall already being a video game. sure. fucking sure. We'll stick with Knightfall then. I don't care. It's too late. Thanks for letting me know about that lol.
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shintorikhazumi · 4 years ago
Text
I Have Two Sisters?! Chapter 1: Three Sisters and The Bastard Father (An LWAxRWBYxStarira Crossover)
A/N: What’s crazier than me writing a crossover I can’t get out of my head at 2am while still having multiple wips?
Writing a three-way crossover until 3am!!! (Ended at nearly 5am tho)
GAHHHHH.
Btw, this is a non-magic au. So Diana has no magic, and Weiss has no… semblance. Yes. Because the world of RWBY always goes “???!! OHMG, magic?!” Quite ironically. They become impressed at people turning into birds, but never flinch at Ruby who can separate herself on a molecular level. Sure.
I’ll be updating this sporadically, tbh. The updates will be as random as the coming of this idea. I do like it a lot, so I look forward to working on it. Just have to prioritize the wips.
[DO CHECK OUT THE END NOTES FOR SOME OF THE AU DETAILS AND BACKGROUND]
Still, I couldn’t let the concept pass me by so…
Enjoy?
~Shintori Khazumi
  I Have Two Sisters?! Chapter 1: Three Sisters and The Bastard Father
  The wind blew strong outside, rain water cold against her bleeding cheek. The numbness was her only relief from pain nowadays. She’d lost count of how many bruises she’d gotten this week. If only her mother hadn’t passed… If only she hadn’t had a bastard of a father.
Then maybe Diana’s life would have been much better than the shell that it now was.
He left her and her mother just as she turned three, the only support she got in the form of random gifts and her financial needs. Her father was nothing of a father. The man that… helped make her was never there. He never showed he cared. Everything he gave her felt obligatory. She hated it. Heck, she didn’t even know his last name, much less remember what he looked like. She did try looking it up at some point, but it seemed as if he was some kind of bigshot she couldn’t name.
Neither her mom nor her aunt had divulged his identity, so she had long since drew a blank to the man’s identity. All she knew was that his name was ‘Jack’ or something of the sort. She had long since adopted her mother’s as it didn’t feel right to take the name of a man she never knew.
All she knew was that he was the cause of all her sorrows. That wretched man had left her and her mother to fend for themselves. Even though her mom was of a strong, well-known medical lineage here in Britain, the fact that she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock labelled her as a shame to the Cavendish name, and she had been cast out to a vacation home in the outskirts of the foreign country, Japan.
After her death, however, the women who Diana now saw as practically witches with how cruel and evil they were decided that because their blood ran through her, took over their small land that she and her mother had cried blood and tears to call their own, and exploited the underage girl, believing she might be of some use as a pawn at the very least, for the sake of the Cavendish name.
And she was. For some time, until she had injured her arm, and was no longer capable of becoming the kind of doctor they wanted her to be, her hand slowly losing its immaculate dexterity, becoming constantly shaky, rendering her as only half the worth she originally was, and thus completely useless besides being their punching bag. Quite literally.
Diana Cavendish found herself spending the better part of her life being abused, and hiding in tool sheds, and escaping her dreaded household at every waking moment, just as she was doing right now.
She hardly believed in any religion, but she found herself always praying to get away from this hellish nightmare. She’d hope that even if she only had a jerk of a father, he’d soon realize that she was his flesh and blood that needed saving.
A hard knock came on the wood of her shed’s door. She flinched, no sound escaping. Had they found her?!
“Miss Cavendish? Miss Diana Cavendish? Are you in here?” An unfamiliar voice called for her, bold and confident sounding, but with kindness and worry interlaced. She felt like it was someone she should respond to. The situation felt like it was some kind of divine calling she should answer.
With legs shaking, she stood up, unlatching the bar that held the door closed and stepping out into the now late night that reeked of hot pavement, rain having stopped while she was lost in thought.
A police officer, clad in uniform and raincoat smiled at her in pity. She was both grateful for- and hated- that gaze. She wished it had come sooner, but at the same time, she disliked being thought of as sad and pathetic.
“Your aunt and her family have been arrested, Miss.” Her ears perked up at the voice and the message they conveyed. Looking up from the ground, she stared into the truthful eyes of the cop. “You’re safe now.”
And she truly hoped she was.
  //-//-//-//-//
  “Weiss.”
At the mention of her name from that familiar voice, she rolled her eyes internally, holding in the urge to snap at the man she called ‘father’.
“What.”
Maybe her control wasn’t as good as she thought.
“Don’t give me that tone. I know you hate me, but I am still the one that raised you!”
“You mean, you’re the one that paid for me.” The ex-heiress pointed out. Her father gritted his teeth, frown deepening as he stepped forward in an attempt to exert his dominance.
Weiss only raised a brow in challenge.
“Anyway.” Jacques continued. Weiss would have smirked as he neither acknowledged nor denied her statement, but she felt it wasn’t the best time. “You are yet to turn twenty, and as you aren’t considered an adult yet-“
“But I’m nineteen, father.” Weiss stated, confused, her raised brow now raised in question. “I’m of legal age, to drink even.”
“Not in Japan you aren’t.” He replied with a smirk so evil, Weiss would have loved to slap it right off if her mind wasn’t thrown in a state of emergency, dreading whatever plans her father had. Even if she wanted to do as she pleased, she couldn’t completely go against him as she was at the moment. Their family name was too widespread and known in the business world, and she feared the consequences of running away from her father who currently had her safety- and practically her life- in the palm of his hand.
“What are you planning.” She narrowed her eyes at him, fearing for the worst, but expertly masking that fear.
“I’ll be sending you away, just as you’ve always wanted. I’ve prepared you an apartment close to a school of my choice to pursue the arts as you so strongly desired,” He spoke in a mocking tone. “And I’ll let you have your way there.” He ended with a smile that sent chills down Weiss’ spine. It sounded too good to be true, her dream being accepted like this. It was like a carrot on a stick being waved in front of her, only to always be out of reach.
“What’s the catch?”
“Catch? My, Weiss, my child, are you questioning your father’s benevolent heart?”
“What’s there to question?” Weiss shot back. “You don’t have one, now do you?”
She grinned at her little victory as she watched him gnashing his teeth, clearly seething in anger. Her smile dropped however as he gave her his own.
“I mentioned Japan’s legal age before.”
And Weiss already knew what he meant.
  //-//-//-//-//
  Life in Seishou had been the dream. Her first two years of high school were the peak of her life, she’d proudly say. She had wonderful friends and comrades who battled side-by-side, pushing one another to greater heights, and… she had someone she adored just a little more than friendship allowed. She had never admitted it, though. Then, a school back in Paris, the place where her mother had blossomed as an actress in the past, offered her a scholarship as an exchange student there.
And like she always did, Claudine excelled. So much so that multiple colleges offered her full rides to attend their institutions. Even highly prestigious universities. Her opportunities were broad, her future looking bright-
-And then news came. Her mother had fallen terminally ill.
She had to go back. She had to see her. She had to be by her side as long as possible.
She had to repay her for the love, for the dream she had given Claudine. She had to be the family her mother had been for her in the absence of a biological father she never knew, and the loss of her adoptive Japanese father at an early age. The lack of a male figure in their family was no cripple to Claudine, but she also missed the presence of the man she knew as her papa. She knew her maman missed him too.
So she had to do this for her mother.
She had to… in the event that… she’d lose her soon as well.
God forbid, Claudine prayed.
She had to return to Japan, study and… get a job, find some way to help her mother pay the increasingly expensive hospital bills, their little family’s saved money steadily disappearing.
She wondered if she should just drop school all together and apply for a troupe. Earn both money and experience.
She had enough rapport both in Japan and France. She could probably get enough opportunities, and she would succeed like she always had…
But…
There was something she wanted to see through, going into university.
When she left for Paris, she had gradually lost contact with all her friends, the culture slowly choking her time, eventually disconnecting them from her.
She’d receive and return the occasional message, but… things were different. She knew she’d drifted apart from everyone.
So, when she found out that they would all be attending the same Arts Institute, and when she had decided to return to Japan for her mother’s sake, she believed it wouldn’t all be that bad if she could apply for a scholarship to the same place, and possibly rebuild everything that was slowly crumbling away.
She wanted to be with everyone again.
And though she believed herself capable of attaining what she wanted on her own, she might require a little assistance from a miracle.
And a miracle- could she call this monstrosity of a situation that?- came in the form of a letter that had documents that signified she was the daughter of some ‘Jacques Schnee’ currently undergoing some sort of trial, and because of this, some of the accusations led to the revelation that he was neglecting a daughter, not sending support, and now as some form of bribery and compensation or whatever, he had paid the court to shut up about it if he took responsibility for her now.
Claudine scoffed in disbelief and utter disgust.
So this was her damned biological father? Some apparently bigtime tycoon who slept around and left a woman to fight for herself while carrying his- Claudine would suppose she was now an- illegitimate child.
This… was certainly news she’d never have expected in a million years.
She laughed mirthlessly at it all.
Well, at least her financial crisis had been averted. For better or for worse… she hoped it wasn’t the latter.
One upside was that she now had a clear ticket to that university she wanted to get into, it seemed. Her ‘father’ had taken the liberty of enrolling her there coincidentally. At least he could do something right, Claudine guessed.
“Well… I suppose it’s time to pack.” She sighed falling back onto her current apartment bed, staring at the ceiling.
It wasn’t so bad, maybe. Her newfound reality.
“Japan, I’m coming home to you.”
  //-//-//-//-//
  Diana glared at the letter in her hand angrily. There, in neat script, she saw the name of the man who had caused all her misfortune.
‘Jacques Schnee.’
“I want to hate you for as long as I live…” She gripped the paper so hard, creases were forming and the agent currently assigned to her worried she’d rip it into shreds. “What is this garbage? And why am I… Why can’t I… refuse… this ugly form salvation…” She choked on her sobs, a hand sympathetically rubbing her back.
“Let’s get you ready, Miss.”
Diana nodded in agreement.
-----
All her bags now in her hand after being dropped off by the cab driver, she stared in awe at the slightly modest, but clearly high-end house.
What the hell, did her dad just get her a house?!
Regardless of its size, couldn’t he have… like… gotten her an apartment or condo, at least?
How rich was this asshole father of hers? Was money the only good thing about him? Not that even that was necessarily a good thing.
With a groaning sigh, she unlatched the gate, walking up the little pathway. There were small flowerbeds already present around the yard, and decorations were tastefully placed.
It at least looked the part of cozy.
Once she got to the door, however, angry sounds coming from inside made her question that.
-Wait. This was her house, right?
Why would sounds be…
In a panic, she unlocked the front door with the key that came with the letter, bursting through it like a mad man, blue eyes flickering about the room, shocked to see two pairs of eyes, wide and intense, staring back at her with equal surprise.
“Who…”
“Oh, this is just great!!!” One with hair as white as snow exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in clear exasperation. “Now we have another one!” She began marching around the room, palms rubbing her face aggressively and scratching through her hair. “That little fuck-“
“-Language.”
“Shut up! I don’t even know who you are, and why you were in my house when I arrived. And you say you aren’t a burglar or whatever, but what is up with your sword play? Even if you were using the curtain pole. Are you some kind of spy or assassin the corporation has sent to finally get rid of me?”
“First of all, this is my house, not yours. And you came at me with a rapier!” A silver-gold blonde replied in equal stress. “You could have killed me!”
“I would never!” The first girl gasped with faux emotion. “At most, you’d lose an ear.”
“Umm…” Diana remained awkwardly fidgeting at the door, her usual bravery and confidence lost in the moment of shock.
“What.”
“I- I am simply here because… apparently my father purchased this place for me.”
Two pairs of eyes blinked once. Twice.
Then realization overtook them.
“Did you just say… father?” The golden-haired one stepped closer to her, a lot less hostile, but still aggressive looking.
“I- Um… yes?”
“Father… you say.” The lady with a rapier in her hand now approached Diana too.
These women were frightening, dear Lord. Diana slowly backed up, but stopped as her foot hit the bags she’d dropped in her frantic moments earlier.
“Can you tell me the name of this… ‘father’ of yours?” Rapier lady asked Diana who was beginning to wonder if she should look for a weapon to defend herself with.
“S-sure. His n-name is…”
“…”
“…”
“Is?”
“Fuck.”
Diana was not one to curse, but it surprised her that she did.
But she couldn’t help it, now could she? After all, her mind had been wiped clean as a white slate. A mental block was not what she needed right now, but just about anything involving that man seemed to bring about her misfortune.
At least the hands by which she’d die her early death were from very beautiful women it seemed.
She liked women, at least?
“Excuse me, um… are you alright?” Miss Golden hair was now very safe-looking and welcoming, Diana subconsciously stepped closer towards her.
“What is up with you? I just asked a question.”
“Perhaps, if you placed the sword down, and looked less like you were trying to murder her and look like you were willing to hear her out…”
Diana expected another heated retaliation, so it was a pleasant surprise to see the other woman sheath her weapon, and place it gently on a plastic-covered couch, clearly brand new.
“There. Happy?” She asked, glaring at the woman now gently holding Diana’s hand- and when had that happened?!
With a nod, the girl turned to Diana and asked again. “What is your father’s name. If you could tell us.”
Huh. She was a lot kinder than Diana had initially taken her for.
“I apologize. I can’t… remember at the moment. I- He hasn’t been around… for me until this point. I just… learned his name a few days ago but…” She hung her head in defeat, apologizing all the while. “Sorry I’m of no assistance to you…”
“No, it’s alright. Isn’t it?” The question was clearly not directed at her as she could only hear a grunt from the other side of the room.
“Yeah, fine.”
“Would your father’s name happen to be Jacques?”
At this, Diana lifted her head, another shocker delivered to her, hearing the familiar name, the cogs in her head clicking into place.
“Yes! Yes, that’s it! Jack, or Jacques or whatever. Snee? Shuni? Schee? I don’t quite remember, but something along those lines.” Diana found herself enthusiastic towards the prospect that some of her questions might be answered.
It seemed the other two shared the same sentiment.
“It’s Schnee.” The white-haired lady corrected, eyes furrowing, anger building up once more. “And… THAT BASTARD OLD MAN!” Grabbing her rapier she swung it around, probably to vent her anger. “He set me up! And what’s more…” She whipped her head about to carefully look the other two people over.
“What is it?” Diana said in a voice quite small.
“Seems he had big secrets to hide.” She sighed. Turning to the initial enemy she had, now turned… stranger? She wasn’t sure they were allies at this point, she stated rather than asked. “I guess it’s the same for you?”
The woman beside Diana nodded, expression looking a lot stiffer than her gentle demeanor as she dealt with Diana earlier.
“I see. I can’t believe this situation.”
“What do you me-“
A voice beside Diana delivered her fourth? Fifth? Sixth?- she’d lost count- Shocker of the day.
“Sisters. It seems we’re… sisters.” Turning to Diana, she held out a hand for a shake. “I’m Claudine.”
“I’m Weiss.” Was the grumble from the couch the woman had flopped on top of.
“…O-oh!” Breaking her stare from the hand, she looked into rose-red eyes. “And I’m-“
And the world suddenly turned black.
‘Hello, My Name is…
[Diana Cavendish]
[Weiss Schnee]
[Saijou Claudine]
-And it seems as though…
I have two sisters?!
  A/N: If you’re asking, yes. Yes, Diana fainted.
Here are some details for this AU btw:
I’ve decided to make Jacques a half-Jap, half german.
So all of them have a quarter of that blood.
Diana is half brit, quarter jap, quarter german
Weiss is ¾ german because of her mom, and ¼ jap.
Claudine is half French, ¼ german, ¼ jap.
Also, if you want to know their ages, and their order, I decided it this way, and let me just quote how I typed it out in the raw idea draft.
“Diana April 30 16yro in anime 2017+3yrs (2020) she's 19 too omg jahahahaha (wrote this coz I’m currently 19 and was amused)
Clau august 1, 2001 19 at present
Weiss Currently 19 (in volumes 5-6) may 15th lmao hahsha. Perfect!!
Wtf Diana was the oldest? Hooo boi. I did expect and want Kuro to be youngest tho, tbh.”
Why their ages are pretty much the same will be mentioned next chap.
And that’s how it went. Decided with Weiss being the legitimate child coz Jacques was the only canonically mentioned dad between the three girls as far as I know. Or I just didn’t search enough.
But come on. I wouldn’t pass at the chance to beat up the dude in a fic so… hihi.
Feedback is super appreciated!
Thank you for reading!
~Shintori Khazumi
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thegoodomensdumpster · 5 years ago
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I WATCHED GOOD OMENS IN FRENCH SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
and it wasn’t that bad. Here are my thoughts, barely edited as I wrote most of them while watching the show.
EP 1
OK i like god’s voice so far
possibilité d’embarras gastrique is a good formulation, I wonder if it’s the same in the book ( I think I kinda need to read it in french now...)
aghghdhgs « primo-délinquants »
of course subtitles don’t match the audio for a variety of technical reasons but when you get things that have very different underlying meanings i find it… not good This one about Crowley being evil / a demon : subtitles : « c’est ton travail » - « it’s your job » audio : « c’est dans ta nature » - « it’s in your nature » i mean dang
crowley sounds like a little shit asking az about his sword
« T’AS FAIT QUOUA » - he just loses his shit (kinda giving me some le coeur a ses raisons vibe)
ok crowley sounds very nerdy when he tries to explain that he took down the phone network, i think i actually like this voice acting
ligur sounds… very suave (im a little ill at ease)
crowley getting called mon chou by satan freddie mercury is a thumb up from me
i see the part where aziraphale speaks japanese wasn’t dubbed over and we can still hear michael sheen. it’s a bit disturbing considering french aziraphale has a higher pitched voice (and he sounds soooo much more anxious than sheen, give this angel a xanax )
“sandwich bœuf cresson” ( beef and cress sandwich ) deirdre really who makes this kind of sandwiches
im being reminded that the chattering nuns prepared little cut outs for their explanation about the antichrist switch… such dedication to useless crafts (it made me laugh on my first viewing and it’s still funny to imagine that some of them either ordered or built these things themselves just so they could make this two minutes long presentation for the most important act of their satanic nun careers)
retire-toi vil démon infernal, créature des abysses XD i swear az doesn’t sound even remotely convinced when he is saying the « get thee behind me foul fiend » line in french, it’s just too over the top for credibility, it sounds like it’s straight out of some super intense dnd session
they still can’t say bouillabaisse (which, like, weird because french, but still valid). nice touch is crowley couldn’t say soupe de poisson (fish stew) either and said poupe de soisson (sish ftew)
warlock mah boy how can you be a teenager and not like dinosaurs
c’est un dinosaure un nullosaure plutôt - apply burn heal
La façon dont warlock s’est exclamé « C’EST NUL » m’a fait penser au nain de naheulbeuk
the english version has nothing on french speaking aziraphale for the second hand embarrassement during the magic tour. it’s over 9000 i literally hid my head in my jumper when he was presenting harry the bunny. Horrible experience, 0/20, would not recommend
EP 2
oooh agnes has a lovely voice !
why is young newton having such a quality dub for the three sentences he has to say
dick turpin’s name is jesse james (tbf dick turpin is not known AT ALL in france, i discovered him reading good omens)
shadwell is pure chaos (as expected). No particular accent for him though, the chaotic energy was probably enough. Would have made me laugh if he had like, a chti or a marseilles accent.
aziraphale is so fucking stressed out by crowley’s driving i thought he was gonna explode
« tu es un gentil garçon » => « you’re a nice boy » said az to crowley DANG THAT’S SO INFANTILIZING AZIRAPHALE YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEMON FROM HELL NOT TO PINOCCHIO
ARGH FIRST MON ANGE OF THE SERIES i’m hit straight in the heart
anathema’s mom doesn’t have a spanish / latino accent at all when talking in spanish…. why...
dog being called toutou is definitely adorable (it’s basically « doggy » but way cuter imo)
tickety-boo has become ça gaze. that’s valid. it’s corny but i still use it unironically from time to time so ... i stan
EP 3
« je répands la fomentation » « i’m here spreading foment » « quoi tu fais des crêpes au froment ?????? »  « what you’re making crêpes with wheat ??? » love the fact that we shoehorned in one more ref to crêpes
az called crowley mon cher camarade, unintentionnal communist propaganda ftw
« pas de repos pour les… bah, pour les bons » « no rest for the… good »  – az was so deflated about the ineptitude he realized he was saying, he felt zero percent commited to his sentence
i was wondering how they would play aziraphale not being able to speak french in the bastille and they opted to have him stutter a bit and say to his executionner « excuse me i’m anxious » XD
« vous êtes le 999e aristo à mourir par mes soins. Mais vous êtes le premier en costume beige » « you’re the 999th aristocrat I’m going to kill, but the first one in beige attire » yeah i guess now that az isn’t english anymore his most noticeable feature is his cream aesthetic
« c’est au cas où ça tournerait en eau de boudin » « j’ADORE le boudin » => « in case it all goes pear shape » - the literal translation featuring food in french is « turning into black sausage water ». I don’t know what pear shaped inspires to english native speakers but the mere mention of boudin always make me giggle, it’s such a funny word and such a funny food
OH !!! no terrence rampa for the tv series, we’ve got anthony J. rampa. Rip terrence petit démon parti trop tôt :’(
« tu roules trop vite pour moi rampa » SERIOUSLY i know we can still infer « rouler » (here as in driving, but literally rolling) as a metaphor for their relationship but you could have said TU VAS TROP VITE that would have been so much better argh
has anathema got an emergency stock of potteries to break in case of emotionnal crisis ?
« Rampa, un démon très futé, il m’oblige à redoubler d’effort » « crowley, a very clever demon, he forces me to make double the amount of effort » oh so admitting you’re making an effort there aziraphale ? :))))))
dang i really want to know how shadwell said that major milk bottle died because not only did he die in combat but aziraphale’s reaction is a bit intense, it must have been quite a tale (this could be a crack fic prompt : «The Epic Tale of the Death Of Major Witchfinder Milk Bottle, by Sargent Witchfinder Shadwell» )
des sorcières et des phénomènes sorciéreux x)
CROWLEY CALLED AZIRAPHALE DUCON ?????? EXCUSE ME ????? #NotMyCrowley #CrowleyWouldNeverDoThat  #CancelAnthonyJRampa2K20  => ducon would be an insult, the gathering of du and con, con being a very nasty but common swear word, and associating it with du- makes it extremely patronizing. it’s like « absolute pathetic digraceful moron +++ ». thanks i hate it *frowny face *
EP 4
l’apocalypse c’est pour aujourd’hui juste après le goûter : it could be translated as « apocalypse is scheduled for today right after tea time » except that « goûter » is not quite tea time but rather the little sugary snack kids take when they come back from school and that most adults drop out of (i haven’t and i’m sure az hasn’t either). thanks aziraphale for having exclusively food related notion of the time because tbh same
ligur has no right to be this sexy between ariyon bakare and his french voice actor that’s just not allowed
radio crowley’s voice vs french ligur’s voice, who has the sexiest voice : FIGHT
(jk french agnes nutter’s voice is by far the sexiest)
gender neutral doesn’t ‘quite’ exist in french but pollution has been assigned a female voice actress and masculine pronouns (i’m saying it doesn’t quite exist because officially we have no gender neutral, but it’s a serious wip among lgbt+ circles to the point where it’s started being used in a few medias)
hastur « en attendant qu’un plombier vienne » / « while waiting for a plumber to come » does hell have a special plumber unit or do demons have to call on human plumbers for their pipes damages ? Dang hastur having to call a human plumber for hell’s plumbery is another damn good writing prompt for a crack fic
Michael is called Michel in the subtitles but Michael in the audio *shrug emoji*
EP 5 
to get a wiggle on has become « il faut qu’on se remue les fesses », literally « we need to shake our butts » like, yes, se remuer les fesses is a common expression to say « we need to act in order to get things done » but it really casts the image of people shaking their booty to some music and obviously crowley thinks the same Weirdly enough I have almost nothing to say for that episode. Sorry. But we’ve discovered most voice actors and actresses so far and no bit of dialogue really struck me as worth discussing or pointing fingers to mock it.
EP 6 
« on va BROUTER quelques derrières » - « we’re gonna lick some butts » OK THIS IS UNQUESTIONNABLY FAR SUPERIOR IN FRENCH THAN IN ENGLISH you thought LICKING butts was good ??? you really thought that ???? AZIRAPHALE HERE SUGGESTS TO GRAZE BUTTS. TO NIBBLE THEM. TO EAT THEM. TO. MUNCH. ON. THOSE. BUTTS!!!! not just licking, guys. This is as serious step beyond licking. (oh yeah he should have said « botter » instead of brouter btw, which is really just kicking, fyi)
« moi je crois en la paix, pétasse ! » wow, language, pepper (fyi i think « pétasse » is far far worse than « bitch » even if it means roughly the same, pétasse is almost never used while bitch is rather common, so it’s a swear word +++)
Dagon sounds like she’s got a nasty cold. #GetDagonIbuprofen2K20
I can confirm that Crowley offers Aziraphale to not just stay at his place, but to move in with him. « tu peux t’installer chez moi si tu veux ». omg they were roommates.
Bad translation strikes again : i don’t know why, but the french dub doesn’t have the « tickety-boo » / « ça gaze » being referenced as Rampa / Aziraphale is being knocked down, which is… a real mistep. It was narratively significant and I’m quite mad the translators missed it.
The Jesse James explanation from Newt has become very nonsensical, instead of the neat and to the point pun « wherever I go I hold up trafic » we’re getting a circonvoluted « because it’s a crime to mechanic’s diligence ». I’m not judging that one too hard, I have no idea how to make it better, and that’s probably how it was translated in the book as well thirty years ago, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact. On the other hand, it definitely IS a very bad joke that doesn’t even deserve a chuckle, so Anathema’s embarassement really matches the audience’s (aka mine).
OVERALL :
I wasn’t convinced by Crowley… I mean, Rampa’s voice at first, but as the nerdiness showed up it really grew on me. I still think that french dubs have often problems with some voice inflexions every here and there, and for instance in Rampa’s case it was when he was annoyed or frustrated ( at the Globe when complaining about horses and Shakespeare’s plays that aren’t comedies, and also when discussing Azirphale’s magic tricks, it’s like… there is a step between having the right amount of grumpy complaining and overdoing it that is overlooked. It’s overacted, it should have been a bit quieter imo. I don’t mean to criticize voice actors too hard either but as an audience watching french dubs this is a very recurring problem and it always feels off to me. It’s actually one of the main reasons I avoid french dubs whenever possible.)
I have a hard time judging Aziraphale’s voice dub because it clashes so much with both the idea I had formed with it when I read the book and Sheen’s delivery that I just… kinda filtered it. It was too high pitched for me, and too anxious (though for this last point I must admit it could be funny at times, but I’m not fond of this character portrayal). The rest of the cast was rather good, nothing to complain about. There wasn’t anything stellar either, but everything that needed to be conveyed was and it was professionnal. It was also very homogeneous, no voice really struck me as being way too bad or way too good compared to the others, so it was really consistant.
So I don’t have much to complain about overall despite a few wonky translations here and there, BUT there is one thing I felt very robbed of : Crowley calling Aziraphale « mon ange » happens only once, when giving a lift to Anathema, and I’m almost certain they translated it that way because otherwise the joke about Anathama mistaking them for a couple wouldn’t work. So, they were forced to make it that way. The rest of the time Crowley calls Aziraphale « l’angelot », and despite being literally translated by « little angel », it feels sarcastic more than anything else ( the « L’ » in front of « angelot » is part of the reason why, it creates some distance, the other reason being that this word in itself has a very corny vibe and people being affectionnate to each other wouldn’t use it as a term of endearment). So, that’s a shame.
I like the English dub much much MUCH better than the French, but the french wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. The voice actors and actresses were quite good, the dialogues mostly faithful and endearing despite a few really missed steps. It really had its moments. Props to brouter des derrières, that one was fantastic.
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aqvarius · 5 years ago
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[WALKTHROUGH + REVIEW] Masquerade Kiss: Yuzuru Shiba Season 2
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Expectations:
I just want to start off by saying that the prologue is absolutely outrageous. There are probably so many targets that hang around the EAC headquarters, especially since HQ is presumably 3 miles within the UN Headquarters and let’s not pretend that there isn’t at least one target going to work there everyday. I actually spent 30 mins on google maps street view trying to find exactly where this location is supposed to be modelled after so I could find all the companies and buildings that have potential targets and then just gave up lol. BUT either way, I refuse to believe that a top international intelligence agency would just go WARNING WARNING and go into emergency lockdown because a target entered a 3 mile radius of HQ. Ridiculous. Also, the letter from the EAC even in the Yuzuru prologue also calls her Arisa Mifune which is her Kazuomi alias lol.
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EDIT: I found the location of that background which implies that EAC HQ is modelled after 2 Hammarskjold Plaza or somewhere near (which is right next to the British Consulate btw, how did MC not see that on her way to the building. Also conveniently near something called Japan Society.). Note the octagonal-roofed thing on the bottom left, the general shape of the building, the covered part of the building lobby, the blue sign (afaik street signs in NYC are green) and the position and shape of the building down the road. And I know I’m taking this whole thing way too seriously, but Jeffrey Epstein had a mansion about 2 miles away from here so this whole 3 mile emergency alert thing is just ridiculous. Sure, Epstein probably never existed in the world of Masquerade Kiss but come on, it is highly unlikely that not a single target lives, works or passes by for a kebab within a 3 mile radius of the EAC HQ.
With that out of the way, let’s talk Yuzuru. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to even play Masquerade Kiss ever again. I like most things about the game but Love Choice is honestly just a turn off and the only LC game that I am genuinely drawn to is actually Destind. But then I had 287 unused hearts because I bought a bunch of hearts with the intent of playing Kyogoku’s route in Romance MD (and then I didn’t because I actually just don’t like that game) so I decided to give it a shot. I actually (surprisingly?) prefer Kazuomi to Yuzuru as a character, but I like Yuzuru’s MC more than Kazuomi’s MC and I was intrigued that Voltage would push this whole love quadrangle thing. We’ve seen hyper-jealous Yuzuru before in a substory so I think I went into this route more interested in the plot aspect and to see how they would develop the kind of strange relationship between Yuzuru and his MC. I genuinely enjoyed Yuzuru’s S1 MS a lot and wanted to see how he and his MC would grow as a couple. Also I wanted to play it in order to write a review to bring some traffic back to my semi-hiatus stagnant blog lol. Please give this a like/reblog please I’m begging you please :’(
Keep reading to the walkthrough and review. I’ve calculated a way for you to get to EE with all CGs (50 hearts saved), SHE with CGs (83 hearts saved), or a cheapest overall option to SHE (107 hearts saved).
Stop scrolling after the walkthrough and guide if you haven’t yet played and don’t want the route to be spoiled.
Walkthrough:
Story 1:
Yes, we should keep an eye on him.
No, it’s not necessary
Story 2:
“You came to be with me.” (Love Meter +1) (6 hearts)
I can’t say.
Story 3:
I sign without hesitating.
I hesitate for a moment.
Story 4:
Text Yuzuru.
Don’t text him.
Story 5:
I’ll sign it. (Love Meter +1, CG) (13 hearts)
I’m not going to sign a New York contract.
 Story 6:
Casually intervene. (Love Meter +2) (11 hearts)
Pretend not to notice.
Story 7:
See him out without asking what’s wrong.
Ask what’s going on.
Story 8:
It’s payback time. (Love Meter +1, CG) (16 hearts)
Don’t do anything.
Story 9:
Start touching him. (Love Meter +2) (12 hearts)
I can’t interrupt.
Story 10:
Seduce the info out of him. (Love Meter +1) (8 hearts)
Try to force it out of him.
Story 11: (second chance)
Gently ask about it. (Love Meter +3) (18 hearts)
Now is not the time.
Story 12:
“I’m thinking about you.” (Love Meter +3) (13 hearts)
“Nothin’.”
Story 13:
“It was fun.”
“It was relaxing.”
 Story 14:
Apologize and keep talking. (Love Meter +1) (7 hearts)
Ouch. I have nothing to say for myself…
Story 15:
Play dumb: “What are you talking about?”
Ask: “What if I am?”
Story 16:
Find out if he’s jealous. (Love Meter +2) (18 hearts)
Don’t ask any questions.
Story 17:
“I’ll stay ten more minutes.” (Love Meter +2) (14 hearts)
I have nothing to say.
Story 18:
Ask about his Texas accent.
Don’t ask about it now.
Story 19:
Call out to Yuzuru.
Let him go.
Story 20:
Put up a strong front: “I’m okay.”
Tell the truth: “I’m not okay.”
Story 21: (second chance)
Ask Yuzuru why he did it. (Love Meter +3, CG) (25 hearts)
Don’t ask any questions.
Story 22:
“Not as stubborn as you.”
“You already knew that.”
Story 23 (useless):
Trust Yuzuru and don’t go. (Love Meter +1) (13 hearts)
Right now, I have to go to Jeremy.
Story 24: (second chance but she saves him either way)
Rush over to protect Yuzuru. (Love Meter +3) (19 hearts)
I can’t get there quickly enough.
Guides:
I calculated the cheapest ways to get to Eden End and Super Happy End with CGs and without CGs. Just opt for the heart scenes that I’ve highlighted in each guide below.
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Click the read more below for my review. Stop here if you haven’t yet read the route because there are spoilers galore.
Review:
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this route. As I read through, I thought the pacing was excellent and I was really drawn in by everything about it, especially the relationship between Yuzuru and his MC. It has definitely been a while since a LC route really captured my full attention. However, upon rereading my notes and writing this review, I do have quite a few issues with it, particularly the plot. I’ll go through the things I enjoyed about the route first and then discuss what I find to be its limitations.  
So Yuzuru is great in this route. We get a far more expressive and soft Yuzuru. We get to see the most charming side of Yuzuru again, his childlike passion for engineering and innovation. This, in my opinion, is Yuzuru at his softest and most appealing, when he is genuinely passionate and not just doing the hyper-organised scheduling thing (although naturally most of this is hidden behind a heart scene). Sometimes it’s nice to remember that Yuzuru is human.
He’s definitely more playful with his MC in this route, even going as far as to blur the lines between work and personal life a little bit in a way that I found quite unexpected. There’s a lot of flirty banter between them, as well as just little suggestions of flirtations here and there in their body language – in front of people too! Scandalous. It almost reminds me a bit of Kazuomi and his MC, which is definitely a pleasant surprise. A lot of these scenes are hidden behind heart scenes, which I’ll get into later, but I will say that these cute and suggestive moments between the two are probably some of the best moments of the route, and part of the reason why it was so easy to keep reading.
I’ve mentioned this before but Yuzuru’s MC is my favourite version of the Masquerade Kiss MC. She’s great in this route too – cool, calm, great at her job. I also love that she likes Night at the Museum? Lmao me too girl. She has such trashy taste in movies and it’s a cute quirk that definitely makes her more relatable within the sensational premise of the game. Personality-wise, I think they did a good job at bridging the professional and personal aspects of her personality too, making her read like someone who has different personas that are different aspects of the same person. You definitely get a sense of the conflict within the MC when she has to extract information by using her sExUaLiTy when her boyfriend is watching on lol, even when they kind of make it out like a game. It is interesting and quite novel to see a Voltage MC successfully pull off a honey trap on a guy who kind of repulses her. We get snippets of it in other games such as Her Love in the Force but HLITF MC is always careful to keep boundaries so we never get to explore the full potential of the jealousy that can crop up in such situations. MK MC goes above and beyond to give us (and Yuzuru) a show. With that being said, I do feel like they kind of drew back from it a little by having Jeremy be super forward with his affection so the MC just has to respond, keep him on the hook and pull back every now and again, rather than actively needing to pursue someone to obtain information.
I also really enjoyed that moment when Yuzuru tells her to shower before going to his bed to wash off “Mia.” It solidifies that he’s really in love with her and not her charismatic, flirtatious hostess alias. Throughout the route, the blurring of the personal and the professional is definitely a theme that we see cropping up in the lives of both the MC and Yuzuru. It’s something that I find particularly interesting and I’m glad they picked this developmental direction since both Yuzuru and his MC are notoriously bad at mixing those two worlds, with both of them consistently and repeatedly picking work over love. We also get to see Yuruzu and his MC almost working together at times, which I adored. At times, they feel like a team. As always, they have tons of sexual and physical chemistry but they are slowly building up on the emotional chemistry and communication issues which is so crucial for character and relationship development. 
The SHE and EE in particular has some incredibly cute moments. Yuzu’s MC describing them as part of a machine is *chefs kiss* incredible. Their sex scenes are intimate, loving and incredibly romantic. Yuzu preparing his NYC home for MC? Adorable. And, most importantly, him not only tolerating but welcoming his MC’s “bugs” in their relationship? That’s character growth babey. 
With super long LC routes, I always get tired about 7 chapters in and give up and then have to come back and finish it later. However, this route sped along. The pacing of this route is pretty quick and snappy – in fact, I wouldn’t have minded if it was actually longer? Developments tend to happen pretty quickly, there are plenty of moments between Yuzuru and the MC that keep the story moving, and there’s basically very little, if any, ‘downtime’ in this route. Because they are constantly in the club or at Yuzuru’s place lol.
The writing/language quality is great. I felt genuinely tense every time Yuzuru and the MC almost got caught in the club and even more so when the MC went to Jeremy’s home. I couldn’t spot any significant typos or coding errors. The readability of this route is definitely top quality.
Moving onto my gripes with this route, I would say that they have to do mostly with flimsy plot, characters being reduced to plot devices, and lack of relationship conflict.
Firstly, something that I always find a bit off about the premise of EAC is how public their relationships sometimes are and how the MC’s private life even works. Yuzuru literally gets swarmed with people in the prologue asking for autographs and photos and yet later in the route can somehow go on a public date to busy tourist spots in central NYC with a spy? (That being said, I refuse to take that prologue as canon because of how sensationally ridiculous it is.) Let’s not pretend the EAC isn’t watching them lol (they even imply multiple times that this is the case). Is she not worried that Jeremy or Grace or any SHIBA or Space Crystal employees or any of the numerous powerful and dangerous people who frequent Freja will spot them together? There is no way she looks significantly different as Mia than as herself unless she’s wearing prosthetics or can turn off her star aura like Britney Spears can.  Also, is the MC supposed to be mixed? No one has any questions about how a native Japanese woman can get away with being called Mia Knightley?
They also set up this tension of something happening to the MC without Yuzuru ever knowing which never really plays out. There’s a brief callback to it but it’s more about the MC finding an excuse to see Yuzu. I thought the drama would have more to do with the MC having to keep secrets from Yuzu and disappearing but that never happens and so the repeated mentions of this particular source of anxiety don’t really amount to anything. I also wish they made better use of the stun bracelet! I think it would have been cool if that was what took Jeremy out. Symbolically, it could have worked as a physical manifestation of Yuzu’s trust and support of his MC and her job helping to protect her against the Big Bad.
Okay so my main issue is about the villains and the flimsy plot. Jeremy and Grace were such wasted villains!! If this guy went crazy and murdered 3 people… how did he manage to not only reinvent himself but in fact become a very high profile tech executive with more or less the same name? Imagine if Elon Musk was actually a crazy murderer who used to be called Elon Avrevic… there’s no way that he would be able to bury this, especially if he came from nothing and had no connections during the time in his life when he committed these murders. If there are actual criminal reports about his crimes that can be accessed by the EAC and SHIBA, how did he not get taken in for life after murdering 3 people? Why is he even free in the world? It’s such a big plot hole to me… doesn’t have the same fingerprints? Did he get such extensive plastic surgery that he’s not recognisable and also burn off his fingerprints? Evidently not, since the MC can recognise both him and Grace from childhood photos!
I also didn’t think his motivations were really that convincing. We get a throwaway line about his alcoholic father killing his mother because she tried to leave him, but in general they set Jeremy up with so much potential as this psychopath who hunts a very specific type of woman but then they just kind of throw it away with him just going crazy and shooting people because he just wants “girls and money”. Nooo Jeremy they did you so dirty!!!
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I just think they built him up as this incredibly dangerous and manipulative predator but then just made him a standard alcoholic incel. He could have been such a good villain. He could have maybe drawn the MC in with sob stories about his mother and actually made her doubt her instincts with his charisma and vulnerability, with it turning out that the whole time he was just luring her in, instead of just relentlessly hitting on her and then getting carelessly drunk and going crazy. He spends so much of the route attempting to play and get with the MC and then just throws it all away by getting pissed and letting her basically have free reign of his apartment? I just don’t buy that a co-founder of Space Crystal would get to the top without being more clever, suspicious and manipulative – especially since he murdered 3 women and still is somehow a free man, ‘disguised’ as a very successful CEO?  Also, if he really just wanted girls and money, there were a thousand other ways of doing it. He could have been so clever and instead they just made him have occasional psychotic breaks with no discernible trigger. Disappointing.
(On a side note, they made his house look weirdly similar to Epstein’s manor. Or maybe all Upper East Side homes look like this, I have no idea. I did look around on Google Maps and I guess a lot of the homes in this area are kind of similar.)
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Grace is also a wasted character. She kind of feels like a MacGuffin just to have this love quadrangle in order to play out the jealousy plot but ultimately plays no significant role. Actually, both Grace and Jeremy basically just act as jealousy plot devices, only the jealousy plot isn’t strong enough to actually threaten Yuzu and his MC’s relationship (except for one moment which to be honest doesn’t even play out like that because of jealousy and rather because Yuzu is trying to protect his girl).
Speaking of that moment, I thought that Yuzuru’s “push the MC away plan” could have been stronger. I feel like it���s not like him to do make such a basic attempt at fooling his MC. It might have worked in a different game but all of the MK guys usually know that they can’t trick their MC with cheap Harry and the Hendersons plots and they tend to not disrespect her enough to try. I know that as readers, we enjoy not knowing what the love interest is up to because it ups the tension and drama but I feel like there was a way of having that insecurity and conflict play out while keeping everything a mystery and making better use of the characters. Like maybe it could seem like Yuzuru is running into Grace’s arms after finding his MC in a compromising position with Jeremy when he’s actually doing his own covert investigations and making plans to foil their ultimate plans. Or maybe even working with Grace to take Jeremy’s wild country-bombing plans out. That way, we would prolong the jealousy/love quadrangle plot with the MC stressing about Yuzuru and Grace’s relationship, especially when she already doesn’t trust Grace. It would also make better use of Grace as a character and her position as both someone with a ginormous crush on Yuzuru and as Jeremy’s ‘partner’. If Grace also ended up betraying Jeremy to help Yuzuru and the MC, we could also have had some extra heartbreak about Grace having to betray the one person she has always had in her life (and maybe some extra backstory about Jeremy going nuts as part of having to protect himself and Grace from their parents and the world). #voltagehireme lol. I also find it highly unlikely that Jeremy managed to set up this whole missile-launching phone app business under Grace’s nose, especially when Yuzuru knew about it. Also, the idea of an American attempting to launch a missile to destroy the whole of Japan is a bit… on the nose lol.
The season isn’t really driven by relationship conflict even though they were pushing the whole jealousy line in the marketing. In the end, I don’t think the route is as much about jealousy as it is about trust – but then again, Yuzuru has always placed ultimate trust in his MC even in S1. I can see this being an issue for people who went into this route wanting genuine conflict in their relationship so that they can overcome and work through it to develop. There’s only a little bit of conflict towards the end when the MC goes to Jeremy’s home, and then that kind of gets discarded pretty quickly anyway. They just happen to be better at communication this season, and a lot of that is because of Yuzuru going out of his way to keep tabs on his MC. This is probably what makes the route so easy to read, because Yuzu is more open. However, because of this, while it is great that their communication as a couple improves, it may not necessarily feel that earned? With that said, credit to the writers for making Yuzu more open without making it feel jarring or like he’s had a sudden personality change.
And on another note entirely, I wish there was a bit more detail about the three “S”es and more involvement from Kazu and Kei, who basically just make gratuitous appearances in this route. Learning about them making Takoyaki together at Oxford is such a cute detail and also such an international student in the UK thing to do. Find me one Asian student studying abroad in the UK who hasn’t collectively cooked home food in halls with friends from their country (it’s always hotpot for me lol). I wish there were more moment with them actively involved in helping the MC.
Finally, I have my usual issues about the Love Choice system. If you play the route for free, you get very few cute scenes between Yuzu and his MC, miss out on some major character development moments (esp that planetarium scene) and you get a fade to black ending in the Normal End. Personally, I started playing Voltage in the early 2010s so I don’t mind fade to black endings, but I think the mature/sex scenes are what a lot of MK readers are here for, so it’s a shame that there isn’t even a kiss scene in the NE.
Overall, I would say that the chemistry between Yuzuru and his MC is what keeps this route going and flowing. I would recommend it if you just adore Yuzuru, want to maximise time with him and don’t really care much about plot. Otherwise, while their relationship is brought to new levels, it does not happen because of the plot as much as Yuzu’s response to events we don’t necessarily see, and it does not necessarily feel that earned because the plot doesn’t really put their relationship in that much jeopardy.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually really enjoyed reading this route – I found it super easy to keep reading, and Yuzu kept me hooked. I also love Yuzu more than ever. I think it’s a similar situation to Takane’s route, where the route made me love the love interest more, but has an average/flimsy plot. I imagine that his PoV will reveal more about those events that make him go out of his way to keep an eye on his MC, but as a standalone route, I wish there was more actual relationship conflict leading to more development.
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black-wolf066 · 4 years ago
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TUA Season 2 Thoughts
Okay, I know I’m extremely late to the game here, and I’m sure a lot of people have already touched base on the good and bad moments of this season; so I promise that the bad points that I do touch upon, will be short cause I do want to focus on what I loved.
First and foremost, I want to say that I did love season 2 with my whole freaking heart! I was ooooooh so very wrong with a lot of my predictions (and right in others *cough* Lila *cough*) but as I continued watching, I couldn’t bring myself to care (not too much anyway, there were a few things I was mad at, but meh).
 I loved seeing Hazel and I loved that the big oaf at least got 20 years with Agnes before she finally passed on. While I wish we could have seen snippets of that life and love rather then just flash backs to them in season 1; I’m still happy that Hazel got to live his life the way that he wanted to live it. Sure, I wasn’t happy that they killed him off, but for plot purposes it made sense—but on a lighter note, at least he could cross over into the afterlife and be happy with Agnes again. Right?
 Elliott is a hoot and I feel so bad that he died. All that poor man wanted was validation that he wasn’t crazy (which he got) and for someone to eat his damn Jell-O (I love ambrosia btw, but even I wouldn’t eat that ambrosia he made… sorry Elliott).
The sibling interactions between ALL OF THEM!!! JUST AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It’s everything I could have hoped for and then some!!! The slap fight between Klaus and Ben on the street, Ben’s “You’re so independent, you fight your own damn battles”. Five and Luther reuniting “She’s too young for you” “Dad should have left him on the moon” (I snort laughed at both of these sentences). Then there’s Klaus and Allison reuniting, Allison not even hesitating to jump into the pool to hug her brother. OR THE WHOLE FAMILY REUNION!!! That Vanya and Allison hug! That hug as Klaus joined in and planted a kiss on the top of Vanya’s head!!!! The whole interaction between Allison and Diego “Can’t say Hi to anyone?” just omg, I could go forking on and on with this, because the banter and snappy comments from all of them are just total sibling culture and I relate sooooooooo much to it. (best believe I will jump on someone’s back like a damn spider monkey to protect my siblings, but I’d also sooner shank them too)
RAYMOND AND ALLISON!!!!! I’m ALLLLLLLLL FOOOOOOR THIS RELATIONSHIP!!!!! LIKE OMG!!!!!! WHY DIDN”T SHE TAKE HIM WITH HER!!!!! THEY ALREADY SCREWED THE TIMELINE UP ENOUGH BY JUST EXISTING THERE IN 1963 ANYWAY!!!! Like seriously, I’m actually upset that she didn’t take him with her, and now it looks like her daughter doesn’t even exist either… like omg Allison, sweet heart. Nooooooo.
I LOVE Luther’s development this season, the fact that he goes to apologize to Vanya, and actually takes blame for what happened, just makes me happy to know that the big lug is trying. Yea I know he took the gun with him, but honestly, I can’t blame him either. He was obviously scared and didn’t know what he would walk into, would she try and kill him again? Like we know the gun wouldn’t do sh*t to help him, but Luther wasn’t sure of that. Plus he never actually pulls it, his hand is constantly on it, but he never pulls it out, which shows that hurting her was not the end game. He wanted to actually apologize and he hoped that his sister would hear him out enough to allow him to do it.
I loved sissy and vanya. The friendship that turned to romance was cute, and while I’m still iffy with it because Sissy was married, I also understand to a small degree that Sissy truly felt stuck. Even without Vanya’s interference, I highly doubt Sissy would have been able to get a divorce and manage to keep possession of her son. Carl is an absolute bag of d*cks, and with Carl having a brother in the police force, who’s to say that they couldn’t spin something that would allow them to take Harlan away from her? I honestly can see a divorce between these two getting messy and none of the outcomes working in Sissy’s favor. She would have never been happy inside or outside of her marriage. But Vanya gave her the hope that she might actually find it. (IDK, I’m still really on the fence with it, and the infidelity, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy Sissy/Vanya’s cute little moments while it lasted…)
Also, can I just say, Sissy blowing the scent of coffee into Vanya’s sleeping face, was truly and utterly adorable and such a dorky thing to do and I loved it.
ALL OF THE KLAUS AND ALLISON INTERACTIONS!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!
THAT SALON SCENE!!!
THAT DANCE AT THE SALON!!!
Also, not going to lie, Odessa was a bad ass b*tch and I love and will protect that woman as much as I will love and protect Raymond Chestnut. I don’t even care that Odessa was only in a few episodes, that woman stole my damn heart and I truly would have loved to see more scenes with her and Allison and the friendship they had.
The elevator ride going up to the light supper, the freaking conch shell, and the siblings’ interactions during the whole thing (Allison rumoring Diego to punch himself, and Vanya’s cheeky “oops” after showing off her powers, just *chefs kiss*).
Ben and Vanya!!! I FORKING CRIED!!! I had to bloody pause the damn episode because my tears were getting in the way of me watching!!!! (trust me, there was a long moment of silence for Ben after that.)
All of them piling into Vanya’s car on her way to save Harlan. That entire scene was a masterpiece “Child get in the back” followed by Klaus just flopping on top of Diego and Allison, like OMG!!! And Luther… poor Luther “If I hear one fat joke, I’m out”
Everything to do with Five and Older Five was hilarious. I’m sorry call me immature, but the fart jokes were funny (even if they did start to get old after a while). Also, poor Luther, once more. We stan one lousy spotter but a brother who tried his forking best anyway.
Luther being a big (little) brother and covering Allison AND Klaus during the hail of bullets.
Klaus being observant and noting things long before anyone else. Like even at the end, when Vanya was taking her power back, everyone else was watching her but not Klaus. He kept glancing around himself while also taking in the scene periodically. There is something there, I can forking feel it. Between that pill scene in season 1, him looking up to the moon with no reason to do so, him spotting The Handler and Lila, him knowing/guessing that Lila can only mirror one power at a time—despite never actually fighting her himself—it all has to add up to something??? RIGHT???
I didn’t think I would like the Swedes… yet here I am putting them in this column. Still mad that they killed Hazel (but as Five told Lila, the job was a job, it was never anything personal). They hardly had any lines at all but their personalities alone and the little things we saw were just… what the hell but I still loved it. haha.
 I CAN”T WAIT TO SEE IF WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THE OTHER CHILDREN MYSTERIOSULY BORN!!!!! Like I wanna see the sparrow academy kids, but I hope we might learn about a few others too. Like how many of those kids didn’t make it? How many of those kids were born with a twin? Were their any triplets??? Like can you imagine that poor woman who had to give birth to not one child, but two that she didn’t have an hour ago??? (and possibly three even though I doubt there were any triplets… but what if there forking was!!!)
SPARROW BEN!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! I mean, I’m glad Justin is staying on the show, he’s awesome and I do like Ben, but I’m a bit sad that this won’t be the Ben we’ve seen in the last two seasons (I’ll still eat it up, don’t get me wrong, cause I’m curious to see this alternate Ben, but I’m still sad).
 Also that Vanya and Diego interaction at the end, neither of them having to say anything but still leaning on each other for support, just AHHHHHHHH
The sibling bonds that have begun to form between all of them is what really killed me this season and I loved each and every second of it!!!
 All the one-liners were pretty good too, like the “Ikea mafia” “Think of Batman than aim lower” “Is it too late to be un-adopted?” just efgjoiwengjowegnwrjngwe
Vanya actually using her powers to save someone, and Ben solidifying that fact by telling her she isn’t a monster. 
the music choices!!!! 
 I’m sure I will add more to all of this in another post, I’m still forking reeling over here and can’t get all of my thoughts straight, but goddamn I loved this season! Dysfunctional idiots—the lot of them. But at least they were making dysfunctional decisions together XD
Okay, now for the things I didn’t like…
Again, I’ll be brief cause I know that there are probably plenty of people who have touched on this already and I’m sure you all are sick of seeing or hearing it by now (so feel free to skip over it all together).
Klaus not telling his family SEVERAL TIMES that Ben was there.
Ben possessing Klaus without his consent (and Ben breaking the rules that Klaus had put into place as Ben nearly got frisky with Jill)---like I can’t even say I’m mad that he possessed Klaus at the light supper. I didn’t like it, it made me uncomfortable, but from Ben’s perspective I understood it. to Ben, he felt like he didn’t have a choice, Klaus had constantly taken Ben’s choice away by not telling the family he was there, so if Klaus wasn’t going to tell them on his own, Ben had no choice but to try and do it himself. I get that, I did. But the whole “Burrowed” scene in the elevator made me cringe something fierce.
The fact that we get Klaus looking badass in the first five minutes of the season, and then Klaus basically being useless the rest of the season, pissed me the ever-loving fork off. I mean, come on!!! EVERYONE ELSE FOUGHT LILA!! WHERE THE HELL WAS HE!??? I’m hoping this is all just setting Klaus up to be something greater in the next season, that maybe now that Ben is gone Klaus will have no choice but to relay on himself and tap into that “Potential” that Reginald had hinted at in season 1 (my fingers are soooo crossed that this is the case)
Not getting their reactions to Ben sacrificing himself (I needed more then just seeing Klaus lying forlornly on a bed, I’m sorry, but I definitely needed more than that). Klaus and Vanya’s interaction in the car did not make up for any of it either.
I don’t know where to put my thoughts on Lila and Diego. While I liked them in the beginning, their relationship kinda lost me the moment she spiked him and basically kidnapped him. I like Lila, don’t get me wrong, but that scene made me really uncomfortable too.
The interactions with the Handler and Five. Like okay, I get that the Handler isn’t treating him like a child because basically Five is supposed to be 58, but it’s still forking creepy to see her swaying her hips behind Five who is stuck in his 13-year-old body. Just… no.
The fact that we only see Allison mentioning her daughter 2 times. Like sure, she’s had 2 years to grieve, but I want to see that grief!!!!
How the show tied Sissy and Vanya’s story line up, and how they tied Allison and Raymond’s story line up… like nooooooo. How the hell would Sissy be safe in the past???? Carl’s brother was a forking police officer??? Does she seriously think his brother isn’t going to come after her when he learns his brother is dead????? Also how is Raymond supposed to explain that he suddenly doesn’t have a wife anymore???? These things don’t just fix themselves!!! Like I understand Five saying they couldn’t come, that it could change things beyond repair, but all seven of them existing in 1963 in the first place has already forked everything up enough as it was.
(Ignore me, I’m just salty that we won’t be get any more Raymond/Allison interactions…)
Anyway, negatives pushed aside, I can’t stress enough how i did love the season!!! And I can not wait to see where season 3 goes!!! I HONEST TO GOD CAN NOT WAIT!!! In the mean time, I will be attempting to write several things for season 2… fix-its, in between moments, whatever I can think of. Let’s see where that goes.
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