#the ugly duchess

[pmamtraveller]

THE UGLY DUCHESS (c.1513) by QUENTIN MASSYS

The woman in the painting is wrinkled, and her breasts are drooping. She is wearing an aristocrat’s horned hat (Escoffion) that was in vogue when the painting was made. She is holding the red flower in the right hand, which is a sign of engagement. She is looking for a lover.

For many years, the painting was believed to be the work of LEONARDO DA VINCI because of its similarity to his two head caricature drawings. Now, however, the head caricatures are believed to be based on drawings made by MASSYS. MASSYS and LEONARDO corresponded and exchanged drawings.

The literary inspiration for the work is ERASMUS'S essay in "Praise of Folly" (1511), which satirizes elderly women in a misogynist fashion. In this case, the lady in question was COUNTESS MARGARET OF TYROL. Her enemies called her ugly, but she had passed away 150 years before.

According to some scholars, the portrait served as a basis for JOHN TENNIEL'S 1869 illustrations of the DUCHESS IN ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. For that reason, it was associated with the world of the fairy tale.

Another interesting fact about the UGLY DUCHESS is that according to an article published in BRITISH MEDICAL JOURNAL, the portrayed women were believed to have Paget’s disease, a condition in which a person’s bones swell and become deformed.

[penguinofspades]

It's funny how two very different retellings of the Alice stories (2000's Aliss and 1992's Adventures in Wonderland) fuse together The White Queen from Through the Looking-Glass and The Duchess from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, presumably to compliment the fusion of the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts.

[galactic-rhea]

The beautiful bride and the ugly groom

[a-hopeless-romantic18]

Jealousy, Jealousy

if I was prettier would you chose me?

“The Ugly Duchess” ~ Quentin Matsys

[king-the-pathetic]

(he's trying really hard to flirt)

(he sucks at flirting)

(she's not interested)

[athena-xox]

Eah villain fancast

Or at least the children of villains. And yes I included Duchess

Other fancasts: Wonderlandians, princesses

Raven Queen: Olivia Rodrigo

Faybelle Thorn: Renee Rapp

Ginger Breadhouse: Amandla Stenberg

Duchess Swan: Audri Ibrag

Ramona Badwolf: Paulina Alexis

Crystal Winter: Lila Buckingham

Melody Piper: Kylie Cantrall

Prudence Step: Annalise Basso

Charlotte Step: Liv Hewson

[trashyswitch]

"Did you just tickle me?!"

Will and Hannibal are in a therapy session. Will is trying to keep things serious...but Hannibal wants him to laugh and smile a little bit. He doesn't need to be serious all the time, right? He makes it his mission to make him laugh.

So I open up Tumblr one day...and Hannibal is trending?! Hannigram is trending?! And...I happened to have a fanfic that I kept locked up in a safe because I thought Hannibal was super off in terms of my brand. But wouldn't you know...So, I hope you enjoy.

Will Graham was looking around the room, admiring the many bookshelves of items against his psychiatrist’s walls. “The world is so complex…” Will told him. 

“It is meant to be complex.” Hannibal told him. 

“I know that...Otherwise the world wouldn’t be as serious as it is.” Will told him. 

“The world has its serious points.” Hannibal told him, pulling out a larger book from his bookshelf, and flipped a few pages. “When you think of the renaissance era…what do you think of?” Hannibal asked. 

Will thought for a moment. “Paintings by Leonardo De Vinci…sculptures by Michaelangelo.” He said. 

“Yes. And how did their paintings make you feel?” Hannibal asked, handing Will the book with De Vinci’s painting of The Last Supper. 

Will took the book, and looked at the painting. “Uhhh…” Will thought for a moment as he stared at the painting. “Confusion…Fear.” Will explained, before looking towards Hannibal. “What’s this got to do with anything?” Will asked. 

Hannibal smiled and took the book. “The world can have its serious moments…with complex historical stories to try and take apart to better understand. We both know that.” Hannibal explained as he flipped the pages. “However…” Hannibal stared at a specific page for a moment. “The world can have its humorous moments as well.” Hannibal told him. “Have you heard of the painting ‘The Old Woman’ by Quentin Matsys?” He asked. 

Will turned to look at him. “No, I haven’t.” 

“It’s also referred to as ‘The Ugly Duchess’.” Hannibal smiled as he handed Will the book to look at it. “Tell me what you think of-” 

Will couldn't help but crack up, interrupting Hannibal’s directions. “Sorry, sorry. Ihit’s just-” Will cleared his throat and turned the book to show Hannibal. “Wh-Why?” Will asked.

“It’s believed this piece is a humorous play on gender and female beauty. Many scholars refer to this painting as ‘satire’.” Hannibal took the book. “But on the other hand…the painting made the country, and later the world, rethink the idea of beauty and aging.” He explained. 

Will smiled slightly…before clearing his throat and trying to get back on track. 

Hannibal noticed this. “Might I ask why you feel the need to be serious?” Hannibal asked. 

“Because I’m in an hour-long therapy session, and I only have so long to talk about a heavy job that will heavily affect my mind if I’m not careful…” Will admitted. 

Hannibal nodded his head as he walked to his piano. “Very well.” He said slightly abruptly. 

While Will closed his eyes and tried to think of what to say next, Hannibal sat down at his piano and…

Started playing music. 

But not just any music: but that stupid song, Chopsticks. 

Will bit his lip and tried not to laugh. Though, this wouldn’t last long…as the song was played, and the irony of Hannibal playing the song filled his mind…titters and laughter quickly erupted from his mouth. “STAHAP THAT!” He ordered with a smile on his face. 

Hannibal couldn’t help a chuckle from leaving his own mouth. “Come on…” Hannibal stood up. “Even people like me need to get our creative juices flowing. Mine happen to currently be in the science of laughter.” Hannibal teased. “Also known as ‘Gelotology’.” He added. 

Will sighed and tried to come back to his senses. 

He soon managed to successfully get back to his senses. “I see- aAH!” Will shouted suddenly, holding his sides. He turned around, to see a rather humored Hannibal walking away from him. “Did you just tickle me?!” Will asked in surprise, still holding his own sides. 

“Peherhaps I did. Or perhaps I didn’t.” He replied, trying not to laugh. 

“Oho, that’s it. Get over here!” Will ran to Hannibal, which only led Hannibal to walking backwards. 

“Will: a little reminder of our professional relationship-”

“Professional, my ass!” Will reacted. “You started this!” 

“Wihill, I will warn you: I know how these games are played.” He warned, now ganging up on him. 

“Good, getting eager now.” Will thought he had the upper hand the moment he grabbed his side. 

“Nope.” Hannibal grabbed his hand, swung him so his back faced the doctor, and locked Will into his chest. With both his arms, he locked Will’s arms in place and tickled all over his chest and belly area.  

“OHOHohoho nohohohoho! HAhahahahahaha!” He laughed. 

“Ticklish, I presume?” Hannibal asked.

“Hahahaha- Yehehehehess!” Will tried to get out, but had no such luck. He was stuck in his surprisingly strong grip. Did Hannibal work out or something?! How was he so strong?! 

“A man like you needs to relax. Relaxing is the only way to calm your nightmares and your nerves.” He told him. 

“Hohohow cahahahan Ihi rehelahahahax whehehen yohohou’re tihihicklihing mehehehe?” He asked. 

“Tickling releases endorphins. It also releases dopamine because you’re laughing.” He explained. 

“Ihihi knohohow thahahahat.” Will told him. “Sohoho dohohohoes dohohogs!” 

Hannibal stopped tickling him. “That is true. Do you have a dog at home?” He asked. 

“Yeheah, a few.” He admitted. 

“That’s wonderful.” He reacted calmly with a small smile. 

“Ihis it?” He asked. 

“Dogs are great companions. Better than humans sometimes.” he told him. 

“I’ll say.” He replied. “Dogs don’t tickle you.” Will told him. 

Hannibal smirked. “Are you not enjoying this?” Hannibal asked. 

“I...I don’t know.” Will replied. 

“Because we may stop anytime you’d like to.” He told Will. 

“That sounds nice.” Will responded. 

Hannibal smiled and moved his arms under Will’s armpits. “Ready?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” Will replied, a slightly eager smile on his face. Will squealed almost immediately as he felt the tickles reach his belly and his belly button. “HAHAHAHANNIBAHAHAHAL! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE!” Will laughed as his belly button was tickled.

“Not your belly button?” Hannibal clarified. 

“YEHEHEHEHEHES!” He laughed. 

“Very well.” Hannibal stopped tickling there and moved onto his lower back instead. This left Will in a state of giggly madness. 

“HAhahahahahahehehehehehe! Hehehehehehehe- Tihihihicklihihihish.” He laughed.  “Your laugh is a pleasant sound, Will. You should laugh a little more often.” Hannibal told Will. 

Will giggled and rested his head on Hannibal’s shoulder. “Reheheheallyhyhy?” He asked. 

“Yes. Your laugh is a wonderful sound. In my eyes, your laughter even beats the piano and the violin.” He told him. 

Will blushed at that. He didn’t really know what to say. “Thahahahanks, Ihihihi guehehehess.” he replied. 

“You say that very awkwardly, Will. Is something the matter?” He asked. 

“Nohohoho. Ihihihi’m juhuhust an ahahawkward guhuhuhuy!” He told him, as he felt his knees slowly fail him.

Hannibal stopped his attack and carefully followed Will down to his knees. “I don’t see you as awkward.” Hannibal picked him up bridal-style. “I see you as a beautiful creation.” Hannibal told him next, carrying him to a comfortable chair. “A person can sculpt a drawing based on his imagination, but he can never fully predict how the drawing turns out.” He told him. “Some of his drawings are asymmetrical. Some of his drawings will have quirks. And some of his drawings will be a little less than perfect. But they are still beautiful in their own right.” He told him. 

He placed Will onto the chair, while he sat himself down on the armrest of the chair. Then, he started to tickle very gently up and down Will’s neck and shoulders. He would reach the shoulder blades, and would go back up near his upper neck again. It was a pattern he wanted to keep up. 

Will was a giggly, wiggly mess. He was scrunching up his shoulders and getting nowhere in covering his ticklish spot…but he also didn’t wanna stop him at the same time. He was starting to realize that he might like being tickled! 

“Does this feel different to you?” Hannibal asked. 

“Feheheheels...Yeheheheah, dihihifferent.” Will replied. 

“Do you want to move away?” Hannibal asked, tickling down to his shoulder blades and keeping his fingers there. 

“Nahahat reheheally.” He replied. 

Hannibal stopped tickling and turned to face him. “What you are experiencing is a dilemma known as touch starvation. When most people are tickled, they seem to hate it or tolerate the physical aspects. However:” Hannibal smiled and pointed to Will. “You don’t experience being tickled nearly enough to create a hatred for the feeling.” Hannibal further explained. 

Will nodded and listened to him.

“Your many dogs don’t tickle you often, I presume?” Hannibal asked. 

Will smiled and looked down. “They don’t think to.” 

“Hm...That’s too bad.” Hannibal replied. 

“How about you?” Will asked. “Do you like to be tickled? Are you ‘touch-starved’ as well?” Will asked further. 

Hannibal smiled and chuckled a little bit. “I haven’t been tickled in years myself. You could say I am touch-starved.” He replied. 

“Wouldn’t revenge be appropriate then?” Will asked. 

Hannibal looked at Will...and sloooowly stood up. “...No.” 

Will smiled and got up as well, taking a step forward. “You broke the ice. Now I can break it further.” 

Hannibal took another step back with narrowed, observant eyes and a crooked smile on his face. “Is now too late to make rules on touching the therapist?” He asked. 

“Technically touching the patient should’ve been off limits too. But…” Will smirked and crossed his arms. “You seem to want more than just a professional relationship.” 

Hannibal didn’t know what to say. Will was right, and Hannibal didn’t like that. 

“And while I’m on the subject:” Will put his index finger up in curiosity, before pointing at him. “If you hated being tickled, you would’ve said so. So if you like it…” Will got even closer to Hannibal. 

“I never said I liked it.” Hannibal mentioned. “I said I was touch-starved.” 

“You never said you hated it either.” Will mentioned. “And you said touch-starved people usually like it.” Will told him. 

Hannibal opened his mouth...then closed it. Dammit...He was right again. “You are...smarter than you look.” Hannibal admitted, a little cowardly. 

“Get over here.” Will ordered. 

“No.” Hannibal said with a smile. 

“I’ll chase you around this room if you don’t.” Will warned. He reached out for his side, causing Hannibal to jump back and laugh at Will’s failure. He had successfully dodged Will’s attack!

“Ohoho, you’re just messing with me now!” Will reacted.  Hannibal smiled and chuckled. “Maybe.” 

Will took off running towards Hannibal. This made Hannibal widen his eyes and just barely dodge him. But Will was smart. He grabbed his arm and pulled him towards him. “Gotcha.” 

Hannibal just about squeaked like a mouse at his unpredictable, yet, predictable move. “W-Will, let’s think about this please.” Hannibal tried to protest. He appeared to be slightly taken aback by their physical closeness, yet grateful for the playfulness they developed in so little time. 

“Getting antsy for me to get started?” Will asked. 

“N-No!” Hannibal reacted. 

Will skittered his fingers on his sides, eager to get started himself. 

Hannibal held his breath and tried to get away from him. But a quivering smile was growing onto his lips. 

“I see a smile. Iiiii see a smile~” Will teased, moving one of his hands up to point at Hannibal’s undeniably quivery smile. 

He quickly covered his mouth with his hand. “You see nothing of the sort.” He mumbled into his hand. 

Will took advantage of this moment and quickly tickled him on his vulnerable hips. 

Hannibal wheezed- actually WHEEZED, and doubled over. “NOhoho!” 

“Hey! There we go!” Will bent his knees down slightly and tickled his belly. “Not so protected now, huh?” 

Hannibal seemed to jump and jerked with every skitter. “HAhahahaha! WIHIHILL! STOHOHOP THIHIHIS!” Hannibal ordered. 

To say Will was shocked, was an understatement. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like this!” Will reacted. 

“PLEHEHEASE!” He covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to muffle his laughter. 

“No, no covering it up.” Will told him. “You, Mr. Lector, never laugh. It is MY job to get it out of you.” Will told him. 

Hannibal struggled to deflect his attacks, and tried to back himself out of his grip. But Will always managed to follow him. Hannibal’s back eventually hit the back wall. 

“Now to mess with you like I mess with my dogs:” Will knelt down really quickly and blew a big fat raspberry on his stomach. 

Hannibal wheezed again and doubled over, before snorting and bursting out in glorious laughter. It was somewhat out of character for Hannibal to be laughing like this. But at the same time, it suited him so well! 

“DAHAhahammihihihit yohohou!” Hannibal started poking at Will to try and find a tickle spot he had previously found: his belly button. “NOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA! HANNIBAL!” Will laughed. 

“Yohohou ahasked for this.” Hannibal reacted.

“YOHOHOU STAHAHARTED IHIHIT!” Will laughed. 

“Strahange how a button so small, can make a man like yourself, laugh so hysterically.” Hannibal told him. 

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” Will cackled. Hannibal stopped poking and picked up Will, before dipping him backwards. “I suppose I should keep this a little secret from Jack...Hm?” Hannibal asked with a smile. 

Will looked at Hannibal with playful fear in his eyes. “...Please do.” He told him. 

Hannibal smiled and lifted him up. He looked at his watch and chuckled. “I suppose this concludes our...therapy session.” Hannibal told him. 

Will chuckled. “If you can call it that.” He mentioned before poking Hannibal’s belly a few times. “You know I’m never gonna let you live this down, right?” Will teased. 

Hannibal jumped and poked his belly button back, causing Will to lose his balance. Will fell onto his knees in a puddle of giggles. 

“I’m not letting you live down that ticklish button of yours either.” Hannibal teased. 

Will just laughed at that. “Hehehe...good.” 

From then on...short moments of teasing and tickling would become more and more common between the two. But they would only do such things in the comfort of each other. They didn’t need to speak in order to make that rule. 

[moonrxee]

I thought about drawing sparrow in a early 2000s fashion style (ft. Duchess)

Photo reference.

[hathousehappenings]

82. Wonderland: The Movie.

Every time they put she show in a modern-day setting it it weird me out. The movie theater, the doctor, the dentist... I get that these places probably exist in Wonderland but it's so weird to see them.

The episode itself is fine. This is probably a skippable one for me. It isn't very funny and the songs are okay. Mr X and Mr Y are right though. The film should have been about Hatter and Hare. It would have been more interesting, anyway.

I did like the scene of the Queen and Duchess when they were younger. I liked how their costumes changed from glittery to drab based off who was telling the story. However, I do with they had given them cute outfits. they were just in sized-down versions of their adult looks. They could have given them cute little party dressed and tiaras. You know, little girl clothes. So I decided to do that with my picture this week.

[EDIT: I realized I colored Duchy’s eyes the wrong color. I’ve fixed it now.]

[chimenat]

Alice in Wonderland Again

Another comic i found a long time ago

[britneyshakespeare]

I feel bad for Margaret of York that this portrait is always used to represent her

fuck ass proportions!!!

[king-the-pathetic]

I love the differences between the 3 of them here. Duchess (big dog) does the goofy pose pretty often. It's had to catch photos of it though cause she usually moves when I go to take the picture

(ignore the towel, I'd knocked over a water bowl)

portrait of my dog in her rampant pose

[adamsandgirl]

When you’re mean to me online, this is who you are being mean to:

[lemuseum]

[king-the-pathetic]

Matching PJs!

This is how they came

And this is after I fixed the hind legs

[chillinglyadventurous]

Got some Stanley fluff for ya (just an idea, I probably could flesh it out more but it’s a scene I’ve thought about a lot)

Old man Stan with his younger partner are curled up together on his old, yellow recliner. You’re sitting between his legs, side pressed to his chest while your legs fall over the armrest.

Stan is holding you so securely as he focuses on whatever shitty hallmark movie is playing, fingers rubbing against your hip stalling as he scoffs at whatever stupid decision the characters in the movie make.

But all you can do is laugh and kiss under his jaw while he complains, nuzzling your face into his neck when he stumbles over his words. Huffing now about how you’re throwing him off by acting how the characters in the movie should be acting.

I just wanna sweetly fluster the old man and make him feel loved.

The Duchess Approves

Thank you so much for request! I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to it. I’m just happy to get a Stan request. I’m a Ford girl, but I do love some Stanley. He’s the sweetest goober.

Tags: Fluff

You gave a relaxed sigh even as Stan talked over the TV. You were laid across him on his recliner. Your rear was between his legs , head on his chest, while your ankles were crossed over one of the arm rests. At first, you had hated that ugly, yellow chair. Now, it was the most comfortable place in the world.

When you had first started seeing Stan, he would take you out and show you off. However, the sugar baby allegations were too much for you to deal with. You loved this man. You didn’t care that he was forty years older than you. However, everyone else in town did.

Despite his assurances, it made you about uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, babe,” he had smirked, “they’re just jealous I get you all to myself.”

Still, you much preferred where you were now with your side pressed firm to his chest. You could tell he was trying to suck in the pudge he often hid behind a girdle. If only he knew how much you loved it.

Usually, his demeanor was so hard. His personality was gruff, but you knew the sweeter side, the softer side. That’s why you loved that little pooch that you could only ever full see when he was sleeping next to you.

“These idiots,” Stan grouched from above you. “Don’t they knew that’s not how you win a lady’s heart?” He bent you back in his lap and pressed a wet kiss to your mouth. When he pulled away, his face was covered in a smile. You blushed so beautifully. “Now, that’s how you win a lady.”

The two of you had watched The Duchess Knows a million times. Stan always said you loved it whenever someone caught him gabbing on and on. In truth, you couldn’t stand it, but it made him happy, so you would sit through it.

Lazily, his fingers drew shapes on your hips through your pajama pants. Your head rested on his chest, peppering kisses under his chin. He was so engrossed in whatever sleazy moves Count Lionel was making.

In a twist, the Count kissed the Duchess’s sister. Stan scoffed, his fingers on your hip stilling. He looked down at you. “You’d kill me if I ever did that crap! Who does he think he’s foolin’?” He shook his head, “He’s definitely not fooling me. I clocked him as a cad the moment I saw him.”

“Takes one to know one,” you snarked. You gave him another kiss.

He glanced down at you for a brief moment. “Listen here, toots, I may be a cad, but I’m your cad. Get over it.”

“Silly old man,” you sighed as you rested your head on his chest again. He pulled you in tighter. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

He nestled you deeper into his hold, body pressed flush against your side. He gave a huff. “Ya know, hot stuff, I’d fight any pantaloon wearing geek for you. Defend your honor and all that mushy stuff.”