#the trauma will be very real
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cb-writes-stuff · 2 months ago
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I have so many fun ideas for Too Many Hats :3
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bbygirl-aemond · 4 months ago
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harwin you ARE the father
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naamahdarling · 2 months ago
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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fuckedupwizard · 4 months ago
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putting my twt thoughts here bc i went into more detail there:
i was never really able to explain why the "yqy adopts sy as his son" or "yqy takes sy as a disciple" or "yqy becomes protective over sy for xiao jiu reasons (they look alike and yqy wants to do right by him this time)" AUs rub me the wrong way until now but i realised: i think it's actually the opposite of what yqy would do, because for one thing it would be way too cruel to shen jiu and yqy recognises that. i feel like it's such an inherent betrayal to shen jiu for yqy to be like "i'm taking in this child who resembles you and has your surname, projecting your child self onto him, because this one hasn't been abused so i can use him as a replacement and pretend it doesn't matter that you were and you turned out like this." i don't think yqy thinks of sj as replaceable or that his trauma can be in any way mitigated or erased for yqy by getting a Do-Over Xiao Jiu - which he also doesn't want because shen jiu is shen jiu and yqy loves him. both of them would rather be stabbed than have sj witness his child self be forgotten/left behind all over again :)
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turtleblogatlast · 8 months ago
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[ cw: nightmares / trauma / ]
Post-invasion, Mikey sneaks into Leo’s room and when asked by Leo what the problem was, Mikey just smiles and says since he’s awake and knew Leo would be too, he didn’t want either of them alone. Leo laughs and lets Mikey stick around, both of them clumped together on Leo’s bed, watching grainy compilations of old Lou Jitsu commercials on Leo’s phone.
Technically, Mikey didn’t lie. He just didn’t explain everything that led him to Leo’s room. He didn’t explain the nightmare of his arms burning up too bright, too fast, destroyed before Raph and Donnie have a chance to help. He didn’t explain how he woke up with a wail caught in his throat, phantom pain in his arms and chest alike chasing away any semblance of exhaustion. He didn’t explain how his mind made sure he knew, vividly, that if one thing went wrong with his portal, then he would have never seen Leo again.
He didn’t explain, and he didn’t have to. Leo knows his brothers better than he knows himself, and Mikey has always been easy to read. So it’s no trouble to let Mikey know that he’s still with them, that Leo is here and alive with everyone else. And when Mikey finally regains his exhaustion and falls asleep leaning against Leo, Leo simply maneuvers him into a more comfortable position and stays by his side.
He doesn’t move, doesn’t go to sleep - not that he could, anyway. He just mindlessly scrolls on his phone, the soft snores of his little brother filling the room. He stays in place, awake, because he wants to be sure that when Mikey wakes up again it’s to the immediate sight that Leo is alive and well and home.
And, if Leo’s bring honest, that’s a reminder not just for Mikey’s sake.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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the-magpie-archives · 2 years ago
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I gotta be honest if some random guy approached me in the street and asked me to tell him my paranormal trauma I'd literally just tell him? Like he wouldn't have to compel me I'd like to share. Free therapy for me, free story for him! Not my problem if it feeds an otherworldly overlord.
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didderd · 6 months ago
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MY BELOVED—cough cough I mean uh...
Crack, sweetest boi, I would like to know what kind of food is absolutely your favorite 🫶
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Crack: Heh.. Hey Lex.
Ah... favorite? Don't think I could chose. I love most things.
..... If it's meat.. 's long as 't's not bloody... or real obviously an animal... 'n' sometimes I jus' avoid it completely... Found some vegan places I really like in some AUs over time. Love a good vegan burger.
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robbyykeene · 1 month ago
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Anyway I wish this show was actually bold enough to give Miguel an arc exploring his feelings of entitlement over the captaincy spot. Throughout the show Johnny has repeatedly told Miguel that Robby is a lost cause but hey, It’s okay because he has Miguel now. That Miguel’s his champion, his Number One Boy. So how could Miguel not feel at least somewhat entitled to the captain spot? How could he not feel insecure about his place in Johnny’s life with Robby not just back in the picture, but now literally taking the number one spot? When Johnny has repeatedly put into both kids heads that when it comes to his love and attention its one vs. the other, how could there be no lingering feelings of resentment and jealousy?
#like my kingdom for them to let miguel have Real Actual Feelings about anything ever!#i dont have any real hopes of them actually exploring this#i think any frustration miguel feels towards robbys will be framed solely in the context of him being stressed about getting into stanford#which is also like. i wish this show would show us WHY miguel cares so much about stanford#and its not like its not understandable!#people talk about robbys trauma bc its so plainly obvious#but after the year or two miguels had it makes sense that he wants a real tangible Win#that he wouldn’t want all the pain and trauma to be for nothing. that he can spin it as a triumphant story of how he overcame#some extreme adversity to get into one of the top schools in the country#but the show hasnt actually shown us that miguel feels that way at all#and i dont need them to spell it all out for me hut man it would be nice to give us SOMETHING. literally anything even remotely close to an#actual arc for Miguel before the show ends#and like none of this is miguel or johnny or robby hate btw…characters are flawed and thats a good thing#i just wish the show would actually explore the impact of those flaws on the people around them#and also jealousy is a very normal feeling as is competition in sports#but it would be cool if the explored how that is compounded by everything johnny has put these kids through and the way he has constantly#even if unintentionally positioned them against each other#but anyway!#cobra kai#miguel diaz#robby keene
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afsosville · 2 months ago
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Spreading some Shen Jiu positivity coz I need it lol.
You know what's so great about Shen Jiu? It’s that we don’t have a clue what Shen Jiu would’ve been like if he had a chance to heal from his trauma or was equipped to deal with it. (That includes learning coping mechanisms that don’t involve lashing out on other people and getting the TLC he deserves.) We have already seen him at his worst, I wanna know what he’s like at his best!! The world nerfed him with trauma and angst coz it knew a Shen Jiu with mental stability would be a force to be reckoned with. He embodies the quote “Jupiter was meant to be a star but failed.” This is why I love Shen Jiu fics so much (at least the ones where he heals and all that). No coz I'm not getting over the fact that he used a powerful sword flying technique during the burning of the Qiu manor without practicing it first and only saw it once before just straight up pulling it out of his ass like- Or that he become a peak lord despite every fucking disadvantage thrown at him. Also! I'm pretty sure his spirit roots and cultivation talent was equal to, or even greater than Yue Qingyuan as a kid before it got ripped away from him LIKE WHAT- 
Everyone has their own interpretations of Shen Jiu’s character and it's nice to explore. Ofc I don’t like the way he is in canon. If he was a real person, yall would hate him too. I like Shen Jiu for the potential he had as a person and who he could’ve been. And I like coming up with AUs and ideas for how things could've gone differently for him because, for me, there's something so therapeutic about seeing/writing characters break cycles. Shen Jiu not having done so in SV had a narrative impact by emphasising how people display problematic and violent behaviours in response to trauma. That is why the protagonists and male leads of MXTX novels are written the way that they are, to contrast the villains. Characters like Xie Lian, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are examples of people coping with their trauma positively (semi positively if I'm being honest but the point remains). So excuse me for making Shen Jiu the protagonist in practically all the fics I'm working on lol.
Technically you can’t even say Shen Jiu is OOC for these kinds of SJ fics, coz, again, we don’t know what he’s like if he actually got the help he needed. There's this fic called Residing Over Autumn Leaves, where Shen Jiu’s personality is so malleable that he completely reflects the environment he was around in his earlier years. He suffers through a Qi deviation that actually erases his memories and he becomes a white lotus Jiumei. It’s because he was in Qing Jing peak most of the time and all his disciples and martial siblings protected him. And then there’s fics like The Hidden Flower, and the Memories Remembered series. Those speak for themselves. I'm assuming yall read them coz they're pretty much the most popular Shen Jiu fics on AO3 lol. 
Btw, I am NOT looking to argue with anyone over smt like this. Like YES I know what he did, and made sure I had that info (coz the spreading of misinformation is wild).
But I hope it's at least undeniable that he deserved to heal for what the Qiu's and Wu Yanzi put him thru??
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venomosityt · 3 months ago
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Petition for people to make wolfwood sillier and more of a weirdo please and thank you!!
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butwhatifidothis · 9 days ago
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I guess the ultimate thing that kills CF for me - or at least nudges it away from me saying I definitively like it - is just how much Edelgard is clearly written with the player in mind before she's written with her character in mind.
Because on all of the other routes, there's a power to Edelgard's presence. Even on BE, there's a sense that for as lonely as Edelgard might be, she still ultimately will do whatever it takes for her to get what she wants. Be that be killing her citizens (or otherwise letting them be killed), endangering her friends, assisting in kidnapping people, allowing Byleth to support her only when they have the Sword of the Creator, covering for TWS - no bar is too low for her to limbo under if doing so means she's even a step closer to her goals.
She's manipulative! She's deceitful! She doesn't care for the lives of her people! Even her friends are forfeit if they try to stand in her way! And this happens no matter how close you, the player, get to her, in the case of BE - C+ ain't stoppin' Remire, and going to the coronation ain't stopping the Holy Tomb.
And in the war phase, she is dominating the field. She has the Kingdom completely on the ropes, down to a few houses standing against Imperial rule, and the Alliance is stuck in neutrality - she may not be able to do much to it, but neither can they do anything to her (to say nothing of the Alliance houses who stand with her). She's far from the underdog in this race, and she shows off how threatening she can be.
CF? Her route?
She scweams at scawy rats. She gets embawwassed when you find her dwawings. She's just so wonewy, and she's just so gwad that you chose her. She somehow fails to capture Rhea, or frame Dimitri for regicide, and so now has to deal with that on the Kingdom's side of the war. But that doesn't stop Elly Welly-kins fwom twying to find her pwecious teacher, because you're just so important to her. She cwies and hugs you when you meet her in the Goddess Tower!! Because she missed you so much!!
It's like... Dimitri and Claude certainly show different sides of themselves on their respective routes. It's the whole point! You grow closer to them and thus see how they treat those close to them, as opposed to being the Kinda Neat Teacher they see run along every now and then. But, like... Claude doesn't become a blushing maiden whenever Byleth speaks with him on VW. Dimitri doesn't scream at scary rats and get called cute for it on AM. They don't get Basic Bitch Gap Moe Traits slapped onto them that are only ever shown to the player and only on their routes. Unlike Edelgard.
Dimitri's endearing trait is that he's this big huge dude who can bench-press forests and arm-wrestle god who still wants to learn to sew and who teaches kids to protect themselves and who buys candies for his friends. Claude's endearing trait is that he's this mastermind planner who has contingency and lie and obfuscation as three separate legal government names who still wants everyone to be safe and happy and hold hands and be friends.
Edelgard is strong, confident, and willing to do some of the shittiest things known to man for her goals. Her endearing trait is that her screams are cute. She's shy about her drawings of the player character. She blushes over the player potentially joking about having sex with her per her JPN version of her C support; you know, the one about how Byleth walks in on Edelgard muttering in her sleep from a nightmare about her tortured family? Perfect time to joke about fucking her! Dimitri and Claude's endearments are, well, endearing; Edelgard's are all straight up embarrassing for her.
Hell, even the smaller stuff is affected! Claude's passion for poisons and mushrooms are things he has no qualms about having others know about, despite how weird they are. Dimitri laughing at shitty jokes brings him no personal discomfort or embarrassment, despite just how loudly he laughs at them. They have traits to them that can easily be uwu worthy, and they don't care! Of the lords, only Edelgard does! Because, it feels like, the only way for a strong, resolute female character to come off as approachable is if she's knocked down a few pegs for specifically and only you, the player.
And that sucks ass! I'm sorry, but when I'm playing Edelgard's route I don't want to deal with her hiding herself away in her room for a month IN THE MIDDLE OF HER FUCKING WAR because she's just so embawwassed! It is so fucking insensitive that Edelgard is literally the only lord of the three who can have her trauma openly belittled at any point in the story by Byleth, all to have some cheap cutesy uwu moment about her fear of rats (calling her screaming in fear cute and INSISTING that it's really cute which is just. Fucking ew man)! Why can we fucking mock Edelgard's manner of speech during the MASSACRE OF REMIRE?
This shit doesn't happen to Claude or Dimitri! And saying "oh just don't pick those options then" is bullshit because no equivalent options exist for the male lords! It's piss-boilingly annoying that the second you choose to see things from the strong confident villainous ambitious female lord's perspective you can reduce her down to this bumbling moeblob just for you (sometimes unavoidably!) like!! Dude!
#legit not even sure what to tag this because for once I'm going to bat for Edelgard LMAO her writing treats her BAD when it comes to this#this is also a huge thing that fucks me off from liking Edel/eth because Byleth can be SUCH a huge fucking dick to her for no reason#and can be UNIQUELY mean to her for no reason. off the cuff i can't think of another character you can have Byleth act like this to#and most of this shit is well before Byleth as a character has any real reason to actively dislike her so they're just.#bullying Edelgard for fun?? I guess??#among uh. other reasons the ship doesn't exactly Work Out lmao#but yeah for CF it really REALLY brings down my ability to enjoy it fully despite me REALLY wanting to#because it encapsulates just how like. shallowly Edelgard can be written?#because it's not just that no character can meaningfully react to everything she's done (though that is a huge factor too)#but also as SOON as the writing wants you to REALLY like her it goes out of its way to diminish her powerful presence and UwU her#and not to say that she doesn't have her powerful moments - she does! and they're really great to see!#but that her cutesy moments stand out SO much BECAUSE the other two lords very noticeably have nothing akin to that for them#like. you can't jokingly call Claude a loser for having no friends growing up due to the racism he faced#you can't pretend to be one of voices Dimitri hears to fuck with him#you straight up CANNOT joke about their trauma which like. duh?? why would you??#but Edelgard just woke up from a horrible nightmare and that's just the perfect setup for a sex joke#and it's perfectly fine to joke about forgetting what Edelgard said about her trauma she opened up to them about cuz ''she said to forget''#and it's a-okay for Byleth to brush off her opening up about why she has a rat phobia to embarrass her over drawing them#WHY CAN YOU DO THIS. or better yet WHY *CAN'T* YOU DO THIS TO THE OTHER TWO.#it is just so brazenly sexist and i hate it every time i think about it 😭
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rooolt · 8 months ago
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my thing with normals epilogue is that I think it comes from normal and sparrows like fundamental misunderstanding of each other. Like I think normal is unable to see sparrow as a full person past his parenting decisions, but I also think that sparrow doesn’t really understand the full extent of the effect his words had on normal and what it would’ve taken to rectify that. Like they’re both so caught up within themselves to fully understand the other and that’s so real and true to me.
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gentil-minou · 1 year ago
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"If Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng weren't siblings they wouldn't be friends" as if this wasn't true about 90% of sibling relationships
Also this is just blatantly untrue wwx would have the most fun poking fun and teasing jc to get a reaction from him, just like he did with lwj, and jc would admire wwx's abilities and want to work with him without having any jealousy or anxiety because if they weren't siblings his mother would never try to pit them against each other in the first place and they could have just grown up as friends without the pressures of their guardians
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Bestie Deficiency
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#a-qing#xue yang#xiao xingchen#Xue yang is cold because cold blooded creatures can't generate their own body heat#I am skipping over drawing the stories they tell due to the fact this arc is already really dragging#but I think they are very key in understanding the yi-city characters#Even if they are stories that really bring down the slumber party vibes A-Qing was hoping for.#I mentioned some of my thoughts in the tags of no. 76 but to continue on a bit more#I think xxc and xue yangs stories inversely mirror each other on the meaning of sacrifice and what it means to 'deserve' something#to xue yang he has only ever sacrificed - therefore he is in his right to 'deserve' what he wants. And he wants everything.#xxc leaves song lan thinking its the best course of action to atone but my god. No it wasn't. Poor communication crown actually goes to xxc#but it's what xxc he feels he deserves - continued sacrifice to atone. He wants to want nothing.#both are very stuck in the past in ways that are not actually accounting for their actions#It's easy to look at xue yang and go 'dang you need to get over your childhood trauma'#but that very much ignores that fact that we - real human beings - define so much by our childhood pains.#Growth is having to come to terms with it and trying to move past it...and not everyone is ready for that.#I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now.#Anyways. Amiguito appears to be one of those words whos meaning change depending on speaker and contextual factors#So as far as I can tell it slides around on the scale on romantic and platonic. Which works for this dynamic. I think.#Native Spanish speakers I am so sorry.
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da-janela-lateral · 3 months ago
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And You and I
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