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faellain · 8 months ago

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The Accidental Baby Trap Incident

Summary: About four years after the events of First Class, Erik arrives at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters with two little twins who he didn't know existed. Thinking he doesn't know what to do, he runs to Charles, not knowing the state his old friend is in.

Snippet 5

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charles goes back to avoiding him while he weans himself off the shots. raven is clearly annoyed with erik, but she knows he didn't want to do this to her. to either of them. neither does she take a shine to the kids but kids were never exactly raven's speciality.

on the third day of charles flushing out the drug, erik finds him leaning on the outside rail, staring at the satelite dish. erik lifts his hand, moving it towards them, memories of his mother and their menorah and of charles bringing that memory back dancing in his mind. charles jolts when it moves but then turns to see erik. after a moment, he turns back, but does not tell him to leave.

erik stands next to him, staring at the satelite. silence hangs over them like dark clouds before a storm. did charles really hate him? did he really hate charles? when he was worried about his children, charles was where he had turned. yet, he felt stung- betrayed by charles saying they did not want the same thing. by charles' dedication to a coexistance that could never be.

"we'll never be those men again," charles says.

"pardon?"

"we'll never be them again," charles repeats, his voice wistful, "i will never be the charles xavier who pulled you out of the water. you will never be the erik lehnsherr who could not move a satelite dish."

"we are those men," erik tells him, not fully understanding.

"no. those men died on a beach in cuba," charles all but whispers, his voice shaking, "erik died the moment you put on that helmet. charles died when you left him on that beach."

erik frowned, his nose wrinkling in disgust, "so it's all my fault then?"

"yes," charles replies, quick and firm, his once piercing azure eyes still dull and tired. he hasn't been sleeping.

"fuck you," erik snaps, "i gave you the chance to stay at my side. you told me no. you said we didn't want the same thing."

"we don't," charles tells him, "my erik did. but you do not. you tried to kill my erik so often. the minute you found a way to shut me out of his mind, you took it. and you made him a monster."

"i am not a monster," he growls, taking charles by the shirt with one hand, "i didn't come out here to fight with you."

"i loved you so much," charles says, voice so gentle that it hurts, "but it was never going to be enough. your hate will always be so much stronger than anything else in your heart."

erik wants to scream until his throat is raw. part of him wants to hurl charles into the satelite dish. his teeth click as they grit togther inside his clenched jaw. his hand shoves charles back as he shakes his head, disgusted with him.

"you are so self-righteous," erik sneers, "you always have been. it is why raven left. it is why i left. you think you are some beacon of morality and peace, but you're just a man. and you've become a pathetic one at that."

charles laughs, hollow and broken, "maybe so. it's nothing i don't already know."

erik did not expect charles to agree. an arguement would have felt good. instead, charles rolls over like a tired hound dog. there is no bite in him, no spark of hope and kindness.

i did that, erik thinks and wishes that charles could hear him.

"did what?" asks charles, fingers rubbing his temples in hypnotic circles.

erik whips his head up to look at him. instead of trying to press, charles is walking away, rubbing the side of his head fiercely as a headache comes on. he mutters something about not wanting to know. instead of letting the other man be, erik follows him his pace brisk.

"you need to sit down," he says.

"you need to leave me be."

"charles-"

charles glares at him, anger taking over him, "you do not get to pretend you care about me!"

as he storms over the threshold with thundering steps, charles gasps, hand flying to the base of his spine. his legs give out. erik sees him falling and rushes forward, grabbing him before he can hit that hardwood floor. he all but flies toward the wall, hitting his own back so he can sink them both down, cradling charles in his arms.

"i- i can't do it," charles whispers, voice shaking before he shouts, "HANK! i can't do it. ask your diamond friend, erik. i can't do it."

"charles, breathe, tell me what's wrong," erk says, moving to cup charles' face.

charles laughs bitterly, his cracking pale lips shaking, his hand riddled with tremors as he touches his leg, "as these go," he moves his trembling hand to his temple, "this comes back. as i said."

all this over his powers. this was the result they wanted. raven had come here so charles could use cerebro and his familiarity with sean, but there was nothing stopping them from having azazel teleport emma in. it would have been faster than flushing the drug out of charles' system. had erik and raven not bothered to think of it because charles was already there or had they made a silent agreement to get charles back to the way he was.

but he had never been like this. from erik's arms, he calls for hank again. the young scientist runs by the top of the stairs, looks down at charles and shoots off. no doubt he was willing to give in to the demands of a charles clearly in pain. erik is tempted to as well. a shaky breath all but plows through charles' body, lifting his hands to cover his ears.

"they all come back," he whispers, wincing as he pressed against erik.

charles starts wrestling with his shirt, trying to roll up the sleeve. ever since he had arrived, even when they had kissed, erik had not seen charles' arms. at his vein there is a dark pock-mark. purple and red petals blossom around it, but it churns erik's stomach. he presses his arms around charles, keeping him from doing any more.

"don't stop me," charles hisses, begging, "i can't do this. i can't hear them all. it's too much."

erik cups charles' cheek, pressing their foreheads together. such tenderness feels foreign to him now, yet it's so easy to remember holding charles like this. it's even easier to imagine they're on a beach in cuba, erik about to make the biggest mistake of his life. leaving charles behind should have never been an option.

"focus on me," he tells him, "you can do that. find my mind. only feel my thoughts."

"i- i will never go back inside that head again," spits charles, though he does not push away.

i love you, erik all but screams, knowing now that charles has to be able to hear him. he lights his thoughts up like a beacon, trying to blare them loudly. charles goes remarkably still in his arms.

happy memories- of the road trip. of that first kiss. of dancing. of channukah. of the satelite. of doing missions together. all of it love. all of it their story. erik came here because no matter how many allies he has, charles is his friend. his lover. his other half.

they had been made for each other. erik truly, deeply, madly believed that, even now. even after everything.

a hiccup escapes charles' lips, mind prodding at the recent memory of their angry kiss. there had been no danger. just a frustrated erik who was struggling to pretend that was was between them was dead. charles reaches up, his hands clinging to erik's arms like a life line, letting himself be bathed in the noise of erik's thoughts.

of erik's love for him.

"i- but- " charles tries to garble out but fails.

i have loved you from the moment you told me i was not alone, erik explains, nuzzling charles' hair, even though it was stringy and tinged with sweat. it was still part of charles, his beautiful perfect charles.

every pained gasp made erik's heart wrench. as much as he wanted to blame moira, this was hardly her fault. by god, did he want it to be her fault. yet, she had only done it to stop him. he had only been careless a moment.

charles was shaky as he cups erik's cheek, smiling at him. he says no words, but shakes his head. erik wishes he was a telepath, not for the first time. charles is painfully cryptic. still, he gasps again as hank rounds the corner.

"raven is keeping the kids from seeing. i've got some serum with a little bit extra if he wants it."

erik looks down at charles, "do you? we can get emma."

that is the last thing he wants. but charles is clearly in pain, he is fighting his very nature. suffering is not something erik likes to see in charles' face. yet, the other slowly shakes his head no.

"erik, carry me to the study, please."

without question, erik slides his arm beneath charles' knees, hoisting him up as he stands. charles arms come to rest at either side of his neck. erik presses his nosebridge to the side of charles' temple. all three are silent as they go to the study. charles lets out a breathless chuckle- he hasn't been in here since erik's arrival. erik knows because he dusts and cleans in here often enough.

memories float along which make charles, still tired, still unsure lean against erik's shoulder slightly. their heartbeats thud in tandem. all erik does is adjust his hold, securing charles closer.

hank opens the door to a closet. there are plenty of things in there, but erik has never opened it. curiousity nearly got the better of him several time since he could feel a magnetic pull in there, but he was trying to avoid losing the tenative acceptance he and his children had. even if he did prefer to argue with charles.

inside, sits a sleek wheelchair. its not the rickety thing that erik is used to seeing. much of it is polished wood with built-in gray cushions for charles' comfort. yet erik can feel it. metal lines the wheels, the brakes. despite everything, charles designed this wheelchair so erik could one day push him in it.

i had always hoped you'd come back, a soft, tired voice prods into erik's mind.

you fool, he replies, what if i had used it to kidnap you?

unaware of their conversation, hank shakes his head, "are you sure about this?"

charles shakes his head, "absolutely not."

all three of them head downstairs to cerebro, erik pushing charles along with a light curl of his fingers. he can feel charles' focus playing with the edges of his mind, still using him to keep from hearing every voice his powers let him all at once. good. it means that charles is exercising his ability to control his powers.

erik had not seen this completed cerebro. he had helped build the skeleton of it when they were training for cuba, but he never saw it finished. a blue 'x' scans charles' eye before an automated voice welcomes him inside. he watches charles' jaw clench with apprehension.

i'm here with you, he reminds him, softly. is it as much of a comfort as he hopes?

#cherik #xmen #xmen first class #xmen fanfic #charles xavier #erik lensherr #professor x #magneto #beast #hank mccoy #the accidental baby trap incident

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