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jaylver · 9 months ago

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WEBS OF HURT — S.JY

synopsis: Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.

pairings: spiderman!jake x afab!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, unrequited love, miscommunications, spiderman au, angst, romance, fluff

warning(s): profanities, mentions of alcohol, party, violence, injury

wc: 10k

a/n: tried something new! a little birthday gift from me <3 please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

Falling in love with your guy best friend was probably the worst thing ever to experience when it came to girlhood.

High school should be fun, right? Being a teenager should be fun, right? Well, that wasn't exactly the case when you found yourself feeling more than just a mere liking towards Jake Sim, the guy best friend you mentioned and was entirely, love sickeningly, in love with.

Jake Sim was the first guy you actually built a solid friendship with. It first started when he sat beside you in calculus, then you realised you had more classes with him and a friendship eventually developed when you started acknowledging each other. One class together soon turned into years spent with one another. You knew his family and he knew yours. Nothing could ever break the bond between you and him.

You just couldn't help but notice a slight change in him after the death of his uncle, Ben. At first, you figured it might've been grief, trying your best to offer your utmost support. But as months flew by, the oddness persisted. He would disappear in between classes, sometimes standing you up at places you were at together and returning a little scathed, making it up to you by promising for a redo hang out. All of that was weird. Let's not get started on the fact he caught your stuff falling way too many times, even when his head was faced away, his hand would reach out first. In his words, he called it his 'spidey sense', whatever that meant.

However, you never doubted him. He was still the best friend you had, even if he had some tweaks to him. You never once questioned him or brought up your suspicions, but this time, you couldn't help yourself from bombarding him with questions when he broke the news to you.

"I think I have a crush," Jake announced the moment he was in your presence, sounding a little out of breath considering he made a run to the cafeteria. The tray of food was untouched, quite unlike him since he always dug into his food first.

"You 'think'?" You hummed, ignoring the mixed feelings you had blaring loudly.

"Okay, I know I have a crush," he has yet to start eating, just staring expectantly at you, eyebrows furrowed at the nonchalant and dismissiveness in your tone.

"You're being for real?" You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, placing your fork down.

"I am! I think it's kinda crazy," his eyes twinkled, something quite rare but only you knew, like a comet in the sky.

"Who is it?"

"Gwen,"

"Gwen? Gwen Stacy?" You swallowed back a frown that was itching to make its way to your lips, masking it with your best shot of shock instead of disappointment. Of course it was the golden girl, what a cliche plot.

He nodded, a small smile rested on his face as he started digging into his food. "We … talked? Talked about some science things, about Oscorp, about the things she's working on. Oh yeah, she said there's this party on Saturday and wondered if I wanted to go, I said I wanted to bring a friend and she's cool with it,"

"I assume I'm that friend, then?" You poked at your food, suddenly losing your appetite as the conversation progressed.

"No, it's Carlos—of course it's you, dumbass," he flicked at your forehead, earning a firm scowl from you. "You're my best friend, my only ever, I'd be insane to think otherwise,"

You chewed at your lips, not because you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go, but it was mainly due to the word 'best friend' that got your attention. There goes your hope down the drain. First, being told your best friend who you have a crush on already has his eyes on someone else, then, getting friendzoned by that same exact guy, all in one shot. It's brutal out here.

"So what do you say?" Jake's voice broke the momentary silence, noticing your dazed expression. You snapped out of it almost immediately.

"I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Do you want me to say no instead …?" You raised an eyebrow, watching him scrambling at your words.

"N–no! I'm just shocked and very glad you agreed to come," he managed a laugh, which turned into a smile.

"Am I going to get ditched that night because you want to get your dick wet?"

Jake scrunched his face up in a look of disgust. "Can you not? I don't need you to say that. And no, I'm not going to ditch you,"

"I'm holding you to it."

Jake shot you a wink, earning a figuratively loud eye roll from you. His laughter filled your ears, and though you managed a smile, you found yourself feeling the opposite internally. You knew you shouldn't feel this way, it's not like you were even in a relationship with him in the first place. But God, why did it hurt so bad?

Who told you friends to lovers was cool when it was unrequited and one sided all along.

"You know, you look good either way,"

Jake Sim was sitting on the edge of your bed watching you put on makeup and getting ready. It was a few hours before the party and Jake had turned up looking nervous, wearing that lucky graphic tee of his that you recognised quickly. Your teasing definitely didn't make him smile, and you soon realised that the crush he had was actually serious.

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow despite feeling the giddiness from the effects of his nonchalant words. He has to stop that. "Are you trying to butter me up to get me to move quicker?"

"Whaaat? No way. You genuinely look good whether or not you have makeup on, seriously," he was genuine, you could tell, but you knew him better than anything. It was quite a fatal flaw.

"Give me ten minutes to finish the other eye then we can leave."

At that, Jake sighed in relief and fell back onto your bed, kicking his legs patiently. He couldn't stop talking about the party and the people who'd be there, but honestly, you could tell he was just trying to not bring up Gwen at any given moment. Knowing that, you wished the mascara wand would just poke into your eye, maybe it'd hurt less compared to how your heart felt.

"Does my shirt look lame—"

"Dude, shut up," just before you and Jake entered the house, he was asking for another reassurance. First, it was his hair, then his shoes, and every other piece of clothing, leaving his shirt for last. It took everything in you to not punch him along the way there. "I swear, no one will care. If anything, isn't that your lucky shirt?"

"It is my lucky shirt. But whether or not that lucky shirt looks good, that's the case," he glanced down at his graphic shirt, a picture of a rock band from the 2000s staring back at him.

"Trust me, if it's ugly, I would've asked you to change, now shut up and get your ass in there before I leave you here," you huffed and continued walking, hearing him mutter something before catching up with you.

Upon entering the house, you figured it was as underwhelming as you expected. The smell of sweat and flavoured smoke filled the air, high school students lingered around as the music blasted. You should've probably stayed home.

"So, you got your pick up lines ready?" You thrusted a cup of fruit punch into his hands, tilting your head in question.

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Google has failed me on that one," he looked around the room, shoulders tense.

"Calm down, big guy. You're acting like you're being hunted down. She's not that scary," you patted his shoulders as he took a swig out of his cup.

"Not scary? Says the one without a crush,"

How ironic.

You brushed it off, finding yourself taking a big gulp as well. He was oblivious and you were just stupid. Stupidly in love with your best friend who has his eyes set on another girl. Perfect.

"I think I see her," you followed his line of sight, spotting a blonde in the midst of the crowd almost immediately. She made her way through, parting the mass with a certain grace to her aura.

Jake looked back at you, a mix of conflict written in his features. You read him well, too well. You offered a smile. "Go, go talk to her. Just text me when you're leaving, okay? You said you're not going to ditch me,"

"I won't," he laughed, but there was a certainty in his tone.

"Then go, what are you waiting for? I'm expecting a whole loads of information by the end of the night," you gave him a slight push, but you could see the small reluctance he had. "Go!" Off he went into the crowds and gravitated towards her.

You couldn't bear to witness it all, watching him leaning down as she laughed into his ear. The feeling of bitter jealously coursed through your veins, it was evil, so evil, but you couldn't help it. At the end, you had to remind yourself, he wasn't yours in the first place. He wasn't yours to lose.

Turning your back to them, you sat alone in a stranger's kitchen and fought off the temptation of getting drunk. Instead, you indulged in the leftover pizzas left on the counter, letting a random girl join you and overshare secrets. Wallowing in self pity was probably not what you had in store for the night.

Almost as fast as you had arrived, it was already past midnight in a blink of an eye. You realised your curfew was around the corner and it was time to signal Jake to leave too. Glancing at your phone, you were surprised to see zero messages from your best friend. Weird.

You stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, seeing a bunch of people passed out at the oddest spots, only a few still awake. One of them was surprisingly Gwen, the goody two shoes you had in mind was actually staying up past your curfew. You heaved a distressed yet exasperated sigh, walking towards her.

"Hey, Gwen," you hoped she remembered you, considering you were in the same Chemistry class as her.

"Oh, hey. Y/N, right?" She flashed you a sweet smile, and it was painful to know how likeable and nice she was. You couldn't even bring yourself to hate her.

"Right. Sorry for interrupting, but have you seen Jake around? The last time I saw him was with you," you unknowingly chewed on your bottom lip anxiously, taking the frown on her lips as a bad sign.

"He left," that was the least expected thing you anticipated as a response.

"He … left?" You repeated incredulously, almost as if she hadn't made it clear enough for you.

"Yeah, he suddenly said he needed to leave … in the middle of our conversation. An emergency or something. Kinda weird but kinda cute," she laughed, but you were holding back a disdainful scowl, reserved for both Jake and her, but most specifically Jake Sim. "Why? Were you with him?"

You bit back an immediate reply. As much as you wanted to say 'yes', you didn't want to blow off his chance either. "No, just … checking. He said he was coming tonight,"

"Oh, I see,"

"Yeah," you nodded rather stiffly and awkwardly. "I'll get going now, thanks,"

"See ya, Y/N. Until our next class," she gave you a salute, a melodious laugh escaping her lips.

You couldn't resist a smile either, saluting her back. There was a charm to her that affected people, it was understandable that Jake was charmed, but you hated to know that, and you did not want to understand it. For now, he was dead to you, just like how he has left you to yourself in the middle of a party at midnight. Was he Cinderella? Glad to know you weren't the only one who he pulled the disappearing act on.

Clutching onto your jacket tight, you cursed every cuss words there were under your breath, all of which were dedicated to Jake. He had the audacity to leave without even leaving you a text, and that got you walking home in the dangerous night of New York City. Thanks a fucking lot. To say you were seething was an understatement.

You hated the streets of New York especially at night. To prove your hatred further, you just had to be at threat of an armed robbery there and then.

"Hey! You there!" A dark figure approached from a distance, pointing at you. Oh God. "Got some money on you?" This couldn't be happening.

"N–no," you said quietly, backing up quickly. His footsteps thundered loudly against the pavement, seemingly getting closer.

"Don't lie, I see that purse on you,"

"I'm a broke high school student, leave me alone!" Was it sad to say that you were yelling the brutal truth to him?

"I don't care. Give me your purse—" his threat almost had you running in the opposite direction, but his sentence was never finished. Instead, a sharp unfamiliar noise shot through the silence, and a second figure in the distance appeared. That wasn't his partner, right?

Panic coursed through you, and yelling out was most likely the worst idea you had in ages. "Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello? Can I leave now?"

"Yeah, you can," the figure walked under the lamp post, revealing himself.

Spiderman?

Clad in red and a mask over his head, he stepped towards you ever so casually, whereas you stood there absolutely stunned to even move. It wasn't an everyday occurance where you could personally meet the hero in flesh. The media might've painted him as some criminal, but to you and many other citizens, you knew that wasn't the truth.

"Spiderman," you greeted, anxiety lowered knowing you weren't getting robbed now. "Thanks for—that," you waved in the direction of where the man originally was.

"No worries," you noticed his voice seemed familiar, but before you could think more about it, he spoke with a sudden deeper octave. "It's—uh—not safe out here. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, for starters, my friend left me at a party that we were supposed to leave together without telling me, and now I'm walking home alone, until I almost got robbed," it was clear that anger and bitterness laced your voice, a deep frown etched on your face as you told Spiderman your concerns.

"Sorry," his voice became lighter, somehow sincere, which made you tilt your head in question. "I–I mean, sorry that he did that to you," he cleared his throat, straightening his spine and returning back to that deep voice.

"I don't know what's up with him. He could've left me a text,"

He muttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned his focus back on you. "I'm sure he's very sorry, and maybe he's got a reason too. Try hearing him out,"

"I will. I always do. I'm just hurt, it's complicated,"

"What? What do you mean complicated?"

You shrugged, hugging your purse close to your chest. "It's nothing. I don't think Spiderman will be interested in my matters with my best friend. I'll leave you to your hero stuff and head home now. Thanks for saving me and the 20 dollars in my wallet,"

"Well—I—wait," before you could fully turn around and leave, his hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. "Let me walk you home. It's not safe,"

"Wouldn't it be weird if I turned up at my apartment lobby with Spiderman?" You crossed your arm, making quite a fair point.

"You're right. What about I give you a swing?"

"What?"

Swinging around New York City was definitely an unforgettable but scary experience. You clung onto Spiderman, screaming like a madwoman as he had his arm wrapped around your waist. The touch was as familiar as his voice, hard to put a finger on but almost feeling like you've known him for years.

You were about to point out your apartment but he had already beat you to it, not even needing you to tell you which floor or window it was, landing on the fire escape right in front of your bedroom window. That just further proved your familiarity towards him.

He pulled your window open, signalling you to head in, but you were stuck staring at him, both in shock from the swing and the way he knew your place.

"How did you—"

"Bye! Goodnight!"

You watched as he avoided your question and shot a web out to swing to some other building, leaving you stunned. How were you going to recover from this?

10/10 experience. Spiderman might just be your casual crush to get away from the thoughts of Jake.

'BREAKING NEWS: bank robbery in downtown last night caused a chaotic and frantic disturbance, luckily, Spiderman was there to save the day and catch the robbers before anything major happened. Is he really as bad as they make him to be?'

The news of Spiderman saving a bank from a robbery right before your personal near robbery experience had you amused. The videos of him beating up the robbers and using his webs to tie them up were going viral all over the internet, even people in school were talking about it.

You were standing at your locker, digging for some textbooks before class started when Jake Sim himself appeared beside you. His presence was announced before he even spoke, but you didn't bother to spare him a glance.

"Y/N, I'm so so sorry about last night," he was heaving in breaths, as if he had ran across the school to find you, maybe he did.

"Oh, were you?" You clicked your tongue, suddenly finding the random piece of paper in your locker fascinating.

"I am. Seriously, Y/N. I know I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and letting you know—"

"Jake, this isn't the first time you bailed on me," you cut him off, slamming your locker door close and turning to face him. The bruise beside his right eye caught your attention, and suddenly, your anger seemed to have sizzled away. "What the hell happened to your eye?"

It has become a common practice by now apparently. Jake disappearing and turning up with some kind of injury. Like always, he just brushed you off. "It's nothing, don't worry. It's not about me, it's about you. I fucked up this time and I know it, I'm sorry. An emergency with Aunt May came up a–and I had to go home early, I was too caught up in the moment to let you know. I'm sorry, really,"

You considered his apology for a moment. He was sincere, you knew that, but there was a certain dishonesty to his explanation. However, you didn't want to press on further either. "I understand. You probably always have a reason, it's just that I hate it when you disappear on me without telling me. I almost got robbed last night!"

It took him almost a few seconds to register, then another few more to compute a reaction. "What? Are you okay?"

"I'm standing here, aren't I? Spiderman saved my ass,"

"Spiderman?"

"Yeah, Spiderman. That guy who swings around New York. He saved me from some guy that was about rob me, because someone over here decided to leave early,"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just glad you're alright,"

"Well, thank fuck I am," you crossed your arms, staring pointedly at Jake.

He dug something out of his backpack, a paper bag of some sort materialized in his hand. "I got you some of your favourite cookies and donuts. As a form of apology,"

You took the bag from him, glancing between him and it. "You can't just buy your way into an apology,"

"You accepted it, you took the bag,"

You rolled your eyes, unable to bite back. "Whatever," you reached in for a cookie and started walking away from your locker, hearing Jake scurrying to join your side.

"So, we're cool?"

You took a brief glance at him, taking a bite out of your cookie. "We are,"

Jake wasn't fully convinced, however. He knew you and your patterns, and he definitely knew which tricks to pull to make it better. "How about I treat you to some Chinese food tonight?"

That piqued your interest, an eyebrow raised at his question. "The one downtown?"

"That one,"

"You sure know how to get on my good side, Sim," you nudged his side, falling into one of his tricks once again. "Too well,"

"I know my ways to get to your heart, don't underestimate me," he said in a lighthearted tone, but God, you wished he would actually find his way into your heart. "Anyway, how was—uh—Spiderman, last night? Excusing your near robbery experience," he winced at the last part, though in reality, the accident hadn't shaken you as much as he had thought.

"He was nice! A little awkward but I kinda get it. He swung me back to my place, which was weird because he knew which window and level it was," you pursed your lips in deep thought, failed to realise the widened eyes from Jake and the panic that filled them.

"M–maybe, it was a wild guess," he said shakily.

"Wild guess? Don't bullshit me, Sim. A smart guy like you would know it's hard to do so," you waved him off, continuing to venture into your theories.

"Maybe he has some kind of sixth sense," he laughed rather stiffly, earning a suspicious narrowed stare from you.

"Okay, big head, quit acting so weird. Let's just get calculus over with and then stop by that ice cream place after school, what do you say?"

Jake's shoulders visibly relaxed, a sense of relief overtook his features. What was that about? "Sure. My treat,"

"God, Sim, you have to stop treating me or else I'll fall in love with you," you joked, even as it came out lighthearted, it was filled with a painful truth that you kept as a secret.

"Then fall in love with me."

You froze, almost unblinking. Something so intimate yet controversial had left his lips like it was nothing. It was probably nothing to him, maybe a mere joke even, considering how he let out a small laugh and smiled at your reaction. You tried to pretend it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing, not to you.

For a second, you wished you weren't already in love with Jake.

Trying to be happy for your best friend shouldn't be hard, but why were you struggling with it so much?

First, you were literally in love with him. Yes, you've come to the conclusion that you 'L' word him, the big 'L'. Seeing him list out the things Gwen likes and hates reminded you of yourself knowing him equally that much too, which only pained you more than it reassured you. Second, he has been hanging out with her more. Not that you were completely friendless and have no one to hang with, but Jake was Jake, he was your best friend, and losing your best friend was the worst thing to happen.

You didn't lose him, no, but it felt like you had. He barely made time for you, being caught up with Gwen, dates and school work, how could he not manage to squeeze you in there? You've always made time for him no matter what the occasion was, so knowing he didn't do the same for you just had you dying internally.

It was a quiet evening in New York. The sun had just set and you were walking home from grabbing an early dinner alone. This time around, you were smarter than the previous round. Armed with pepper spray and a pocket knife, you prayed on a shooting star that an unfortunate incident would never ever happen once more.

You were practically in your own world to even realise or hear footsteps approaching you from behind. By the time you did, your fight or flight mode was activated, almost throwing out a punch, just to freeze upon figuring out who it actually was. Spiderman.

"Walking home alone?" He kept up with your pace as you recovered from a momentary fright.

"Stalking me?" You wondered how he even spotted you in the first place. In the big city of New York, he's coincidentally strolling down the same street as you? As if. "Scared me, you know? Thought it was another round of getting robbed,"

"I'd be there to fight them off if that happens," he said with utmost confidence that it had you laughing a little, shaking your head in disbelief. Why did he remind you of Jake? It's a sign you should stop thinking so much about him.

"Really? I kinda doubt it. Unless you're keeping an eye on me or something, stalker," you teased him, egging him on further.

"I'm not stalking you," his tone gave away the withering confidence of his. You smiled, feeling his lingering gaze on your face. Maybe it was just your mind that's overthinking, but his mannerisms reminded you too much of your best friend. It was in the way he walked, talked and how he normally did this thing where he walked with you and cast glances at you from time to time. Every little detail that you wished you couldn't list out was a part of the city's hero.

He cleared his throat, straightening his back, trying to rebuild that confidence he originally carried. "So … how are things between you and your friend?"

"The one that stood me up at the party?"

He choked a little, but regardless, he nodded his head. "Y–yeah,"

You couldn't hold in a sigh from escaping your lips. Just thinking about Jake had you huffing in frustration. Spiderman picked up on it, shifting slightly beside you. "I guess not … good? Haven't seen him much and he hasn't been bothering to hang out with me anymore. I mean, I get he's making moves but why can't he just manage a little time for me? Maybe I'm too selfish but—" he's not mine anyway. You bite your tongue, holding back what you really wanted to say.

The hero beside you was silent for a bit, as if walking on eggshells and picking the best words to say. "I think he'd come around," he said slowly, "he'd say a couple of sorrys, and you should tell him what's on your mind. Let him know. He'll understand,"

You chewed on your bottom lips, considering the possibilities, but totally also not expecting to get advice from the Spiderman like it was some counselling session. "I know he'll listen. He always does. But I don't want anything to change between us,"

"Nothing will change," he said with a kind of certainty that even you didn't doubt. How did he know? Who was he to judge? You didn't say anything, but just nodded. You knew Jake wasn't the type to argue nor take your words lightly, but you shudder at the thought of a confrontation, not that it was your first with him, but it felt much more emotional this time.

"I hope so. I miss him—oh, my place is around the corner, I can manage myself," you stopped before a turn around the corner, Spiderman following suit.

Standing before him only increased your curiosity about his identity. Who was he? He was hiding under a mask that shielded his face, but something about him seemed less foreign than expected.

"O–oh, then I guess I should get away too. Swing around the city and see whose ass to beat," he laughed awkwardly, a hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, just like something Jake would do too. You shook that thought away. "Goodnight … stranger,"

"It's Y/N," you didn't hesitate to tell him your name, he saved your life, a little information about yourself wouldn't hurt despite him being a total stranger still. "Goodnight, spider boy."

You turned around the corner, leaving the hero standing there, bewildered and helpless. It was hard to ignore the pit in your stomach that carved deeper and deeper. He reminded you too much of your best friend, and strangely, that was probably the reason why you felt gradually attached to him, a stranger that resembled the ghost of a guy you liked but couldn't have.

The space of your apartment was dark and soulless once you stepped into it. Your parents worked late as always, meaning you were alone most of the time, and this was one of them. Maybe it was the atmosphere and the countless wishful thinking, but a sense of despair knocked on the door of your heart.

By the end of the night, you laid awake in bed thinking about what Spiderman had said. Nothing will change. That was exactly what you wished for too, that your dynamic with Jake was never to change, but how was that to happen when he's got a girl around? Eventually, you're not just going to lose the guy you loved, but your best friend as a whole.

Your train wreck of thoughts were interrupted the moment you heard a knock on your window. That knock turned into a tune that you knew too well. Sitting up straight in bed, you spotted the figure standing by your window out on the fire escape. Jake.

At this point, you weren't even going to figure out how he got up this high on the fire escape. It was one too many times of him avoiding your question and you ended up dropping the matter too. Yet, curiosity itched your mind.

Unamused at the fact that he turned up at possibly the wrong timing, you dragged your legs over to the window, meeting his bashful gaze. He offered a crooked grin, but your narrowed eyes only shot it back into a frown.

"Explain to me why you're here? It's midnight, Aunt May would be worried about you," your window was opened now, but you stood in the way before he could climb through, an interrogative look of yours stared at him accusingly.

"I told her I'd be over at yours," he answered cheekily. "Just like the old times, eh?"

Judging from your unbudging stance and eyes practically shooting lazers, Jake knew he had struck a nerve that have been left untreated for far too long. He sighed a defeated breath, squeezing through forcefully and dropping his backpack onto the ground.

"I know," he didn't need to say much, yet he conveyed more than needed. "I've been a shitty best friend,"

It was your turn to sigh. You shook your head, averted your gaze to the ground and stepped aside, giving him more space. "You know a 'sorry' alone won't cut it this time,"

He followed your every movement, joining you to sit on the edge of your bed, a small space in between separated you and him. "I know. But I really am sorry, Y/N. I mean it,"

"I just want you to be honest with me, Jake. I know you're busy, I know you're trying to get the girl of your dreams or whatever, good for you, but it feels like you've forgotten about me or something,"

"I didn't forget about you. How could I ever?"

"Well, then stop acting like it! A text would suffice," you stood up, back facing him just so you could hide your face from him and the tears welling up in your eyes.

"Y/N," he grabbed a hold of your wrist, cold fingers wrapped around your skin, his touch ever so gentle. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up … many times, and a single 'sorry' wouldn't make up all the hurt I caused you, b–but there's a reason why,"

"What is it then?" You whirled around to face him, the dark of the room casted a shadow over his face, bringing out the fatigue and injury on his delicate features. "What the fuck, Jake? Are you hurt again?"

"It's nothing,"

"You said it's nothing every time you turned up hurt, and I never ask many questions, but Jake, it feels like you're hiding something from me," your hand reached up for his face, hovering over the bruises and mild cuts on his lips and skin. "I don't know you anymore,"

Jake moved his face away a little, grabbing that hand of yours which hovered over his face, lacing his fingers into yours, the rough surface of skin contrasting your soft touch. "I–I wish I could tell you what it is right now, Y/N, I really do, but it's not the right time. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe me, I don't want to hurt you,"

There was a moment of silence where you stood before him, hands intertwined with his, your hurtful gaze scanning his every feature that you knew too well. Jake never lied to you, you knew that, but why couldn't you fully trust him this time? There was a sense of truth and lie hidden behind his words, but you knew one thing, he was genuine. Yet, it wasn't enough.

"Let me make it up to you. There's this carnival in the city tomorrow night, you and I, hang out, what do you say?" He tried offering a smile, which eventually turned uncertain. "We can spend the entire day together. Just you and me,"

"No bailing on me this time?"

"Promise,"

"You do?"

He held up your interlocked hands, then intertwined your's and his pinky fingers together, something you and him always did when it came to serious promises despite the childishness to the whole pinky promises thing. "Promise," he repeated.

"I believe you, Jake. I always do, and I just don't want you to get yourself in danger, whatever it is that you're doing. Whenever you turn up bruised and beaten, I–I just feel helpless, and you push me away every time,"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking your interlocked hands and placing them on his chest, near to where his heart resided. "I promise to tell you the truth soon. I just need to be ready,"

"When you're ready," you gave his hand an affirming squeeze, a reassuring smile creeping up onto your lips. "Do you want to stay over?"

"I didn't turn up with a packed bag for nothing," he laughed, the air lightening up much more compared to earlier. "I'll sleep on the ground like always,"

Once you were done manoeuvring and setting up the sleeping bag for Jake, you were finally in bed for the second time that night, except now, you had Jake sleeping on the ground beside your bed. It wasn't a rare occasion having him sleep over, just maybe this time it was a tad bit more awkward given the situation you had earlier.

"Jake," you spoke into the darkness, your eyes trained on that one spot on your ceiling.

He hummed back in response.

"Nothing has changed between us, right?"

A beat of silence, the whirring of your A/C was what remained. Then, he spoke. "No. Nothing's ever going to change. Nothing will change,"

It sounded familiar, the way he said it and the enunciation he had in every word. You shook it off, given the late night and a mushy brain, you didn't give it a second thought.

"I'm glad. Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight."

Despite the reassurance from Jake, you descended into sleep with a pit in your gut. You could barely sleep with him next to you, thinking you could find a cure to every trouble that existed between you and him to fix it all. How could he say there'd be no changes when there's a bigger crack forming on your heart?

The next morning was like any other whenever Jake stayed over. An empty kitchen that allowed you to make some simple breakfast and after, you bid Jake goodbye for the moment before meeting him later on that day.

Upon stepping into your room, you spotted a black lump sitting under the window. It was Jake's backpack. He was already long gone from your apartment by then.

You advanced towards his backpack, held it up to move it somewhere else, but it only caused the contents inside to spill out. Knowing how clumsy Jake always was, you figured his backpack had been unzipped the entire time.

You glanced at the pile of mess littered on your floor, a clump of red catching your eyes amongst the rest. Curiosity got the best of you despite knowing you shouldn't pry, but the moment your fingers made contact with it, the question marks in your head increased by tenfold.

Spandex material. You pinched it at first, feeling the material against your skin, then you finally got the guts to hold it up entirely, revealing something far beyond expectations.

Spiderman suit?

Was it a fake one? Jake could've always bought it from Amazon. You held it closer for inspection, noticing how it was worn out, slight tears on the bottoms. It couldn't be a fake, something in you knew. The dried blood stains on some spots gave it away.

Everything made sense to you now. Jake being secretive, hiding the truth from you every time you asked, turning up hurt and disappearing at random times just for the news to report Spiderman's appearance after. All of them were finally connected in your head, and revelations about his suspiciousness were known by you.

It hit you. Jake was spiderman. Your best friend was that vigilante swinging around the city saving people and fighting crimes. He was the one who walked and swung you home. He always knew.

You let out a breath of disbelief, knees feeling weak and head spinning. How were you to shoulder the truth after this? Pretend like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong and weird. It was practically impossible to patch up the existing crack that continued to worsen.

Shoving Jake's belongings back into the bag, you shouldered it and made your way to his place. Your mind was in a haze, the thought of him being Spiderman was hard to wrap around. Sometimes ignorance was genuinely bliss, you wished this was one of those times.

You didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Jake wasn't home when you turned up at his door, meeting a confused looking Aunt May instead. Apparently, Jake went out in search of his backpack that was currently in your hands, so you had no choice but to call him and wait for him to be back.

How could you not have spotted it sooner? Now that you're in his bedroom for possibly the millionth time, everything seems clearer. The map of the city stuck on his wall which had random scribbles and locations circled in red marker ink stood out to you, the box of medicine and ointments sat on his bedside table that you frequently ignored. All the signs were presented before your eyes without your knowledge.

"Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting," Jake closed his bedroom door after almost half an hour of waiting for his appearance. His hair was dishevelled, clearly panicked and alarmed.

"No, it's okay, we're supposed to meet up anyway," you sat up from lying on his bed, nodding at the backpack sitting on his desk. "Got your baby back,"

"Oh my God," he crossed the room with big steps and had zero hesitation when it came to unzipping it to check his belongings. "Did I leave it at your place?"

"You did,"

"Thought I left it out there somewhere," he murmured under his breath, then zipped the bag up. You knew why he was so secretive, and it made even more sense why he always brought it around.

Jake most likely felt your wandering eyes on him judging from the way he spun around and shielded his bag from view, trying to divert your attention away. "Want to watch a movie?"

How could you possibly say no? That sly prick.

You didn't indulge in his suspicious behaviour further now that you were aware of his secret, though you pretended not to. He did say he would reveal it to you soon, but that 'soon' was quite unknown. At this point, you didn't know who was going to be the first one to reveal it. Either you or him.

You spent half of the day binging on movies, ate an early dinner and then walked to the carnival together. Along the way there, you couldn't stop yourself from taking quick glances at Jake. The street lights illuminated his features under the darkening sky, the loud chatter of the crowd drowned out and it was only him in your world. Even as he asked you questions, you blindly nodded to most of them.

How could you not fall for him? He bought you drinks without question, won you prizes at those booths, held your hand as you walked through the crowds. It was as if Jake Sim himself was blind enough to not know what he was doing to you.

"Enjoying the night?" Jake threw his arm around your shoulder ever so casually that it had you holding your breath for a minute.

"You won me a big bear, of course I am," you held onto the stuffed toy tightly, grinning at the memory of Jake winning during his first try.

"What's next? Wanna stop by that art and craft booth then we go on the ferris wheel?" Jake definitely did know his way into your heart.

"Sounds good,"

You thought the night would eventually end with peace and quiet, but before it could even end, it had been ruined beyond belief.

The big screen suddenly flashed to a news reporter, the background looking chaotic and people were fleeing. It was live news, the whole thing was happening as you breathed. You and Jake stood rooted, staring at the big screen just like many others did, listening in on the broadcast.

'Just in, a monstrous creature was seen terrorizing and climbing along the Oscorp building. It was spotted not long ago, but now it has disappeared into the building, its whereabouts unknown. Workers of Oscorp have fled the building, but not all of them, some were said to be present in the building until now.'

You glanced at Jake, a sinking feeling in your gut. It was a sour thought knowing he's about to get himself in danger yet again, but having him bailing once more cut deeper than a falling knife. As a human, you wanted him to save lives and the city. However, you were also his best friend, and you hated to be selfish, but you just wanted him to be there without having to leave every single moment.

The conflict in your eyes matched Jake's, who was evidently struggling with himself. You tried to mask it, yet hurt and sadness was hard to ignore or hide.

"Oscorp … Gwen," the faint hush of a murmur was audible under his breath, causing you to cock your head at him.

"What?"

"I–I, Y/N, I have an emergency," he removed his arm around you, the hold on his backpack strap tightened.

"Jake," to scream at him? Let him leave? All of the above? You struggled with your emotions as you tried to understand and empathise, you always did, but couldn't you just have him this one time?

"I'm sorry …" his voice was weak, he knew how much pain and hurt he caused you, and retreating away from your disappointed face wasn't going to solve anything, just the problem downtown, but not the cracks that were forming right now.

"I know, Jake," you shouted when he was a distance away from you. He turned around, eyes widened and pupils blown, a mix of confusion and surprise painted his features. "I know about you,"

He was breathless, he didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He left without a trace, and once again, you were left alone to fend for yourself. You wanted to understand, you do, but it was hard.

You glanced at the big screen for one last time, uttering a silent curse under your breath, and decided to head to where the scene was. Crazy? Stupid? You were everything described. That was probably why you and Jake were best friends.

Taking the cab was one of the stupidest decisions you made, and that excluded the part where you're literally bringing yourself to danger. Thanks to whatever that was terrorising the Oscorp building, the traffic was heavier than usual, so you had no choice but to run on foot. It was the most running you ever did all year.

You wondered if it was a good idea to even be there. Answer: no. The police cars were everywhere, all of which were stationed with police that were armed with rifles. A helicopter circled the building, several broadcasting stations and their reporters were present too. It was a mess.

"What's happening here?" You were practically out of breath, panting, as you asked a random bystander there.

"Some freakish lizard creature. I think Spiderman swung into the building to save the remaining victims. They were all rescued but Spiderman's still fighting in there,"

"You saw him? Spiderman?"

"I did! Red suit, white webs, he was so heroic when he crashed through the glass panels,"

"That's the one," you said unnervingly, disliking the uncertainty of it all. Jake was putting himself in danger and you could do nothing about it. How long did this go on for? You were left in the dark for far too long.

Soon, which almost felt like forever, you saw a speck of red escaping from the gap in the building with somebody in hand. You held your breath out of anxiety, heart thumping, listening in on all the noises and reports coming from everywhere around you.

"There he is! Spiderman!" A reporter appeared next to you, absolutely transfixed with the superhero slinging through the dark sky and eventually landing in the distance. "He has the last hostage in hand! A girl!"

A girl?

You pushed past the crowd, trying to get a closer look at Spiderman and the entire scene before you. There he was, speaking to the police, but there was somebody else too. Gwen Stacy.

An overwhelming feeling crashed down on you like a heavy weight of boulders falling from the sky. Confusion, hurt, heartbreak, altogether they penetrated you harder than you could manage to breathe. One step, two step, you took many steps back before turning away and hailing for a cab home.

He wasn't yours, and he wasn't yours to lose either.

Returning home to an empty apartment was nothing new, except it did hit differently this time. Your heart was empty, mind in a haze, it was as if your narrator had drawn swirls over your head. You wished things had turned out in another way. You and Jake, how you found out about his secret, him hiding his secret. If only all of them had another ending than what you had in the present.

You sat slumped over in bed, the desk lamp was the only thing that provided light for the darkness in your room. The shadow looming over your window went unnoticed by you. That was until a series of knocks sounded and you jumped out of bed in alert, finding it strange how there was nothing once your eyes trained on your window.

Well, there goes your future.

You stepped a little closer. Just then, the window was jerked open by some unseen force, a red cladded face peeking his head into frame. Spiderman, or more accurately, Jake, was standing on your fire escape again.

He dropped his backpack onto your bedroom floor, letting himself in wordlessly. You stared at him, not knowing whether to speak first or let him be the one to do it. After all, he had left you hanging, it's the least he could do.

Jake pulled off the mask from his head, revealing a rather beat up face and messy, dishevelled hair that was coated with sweat. "You knew?"

His voice was tired, but the confusion and hurt punctuated through his words. He inched close to you, but you took a step back, unable to meet his gaze.

"Well, it wasn't a long time," you muttered. "Just today, actually … coincidentally,"

"How?"

"Your backpack. I swear I didn't look through it, it was unzipped and when I picked it up, everything spilled out. Your suit revealed it all," you chewed at your bottom lip, Jake's eyes boring into yours, the prickling feeling of anxiety crawled all over your skin. "I didn't want to find out this way either,"

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wanted to, trust me, you're one of the closest people I have in my life. But I just didn't know when or how to break it to you. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe," he was equally guilty for hiding it for a long time, but you understood the reason behind it. Being a hero comes with a great responsibility, that was what movies taught you anyway.

"Jake, I know, and it's okay, but I just wish to be selfish for a little. I want you to be here with me, to be there for me a–and be my best friend for a minute," you felt yourself losing the will to speak as seconds passed by. "I feel like I'm losing you,"

"You're not. I'm here," he pressed his palm against his heart, stepping closer until he was barely a few inches away. "Always,"

"I don't want to lose you, Jake," your voice wavered, a clear sheen of tears glazed your eyes. "I'm in love with you," your words came out in a whisper, a hushed confession that spilled with no warning, coming from the deepest, darkest pits of your heart. Even then, you couldn't believe you had actually said it, stilling in place and blinking in shock.

Jake's breath hitched, his movements frozen. You wondered about the possible scenarios you were about to face, ones that you thought of whenever you had the urge to spill your love confession. All of them certainly didn't prepare you for what was happening next.

"I'm sorry," shock turned into instant panic. Your hands shot out to create a small distance between you and him. "Ignore what I just said. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

Jake didn't say much, and in a swift motion, he grabbed a hold of your hand, pulled you into him. One hand holding your wrist, the other cupping your face to tilt your head and his lips met yours.

You could barely register it. The weight of his mouth against yours created a mass of fireworks in both your head and stomach. The shock evaporated from your body and relief took its spot. You melted against his touch, leaning your body closer to his.

Jake kissed you like no man could have ever done. He left a part of himself, imprinted his every unspoken word into a deep and passionate kiss. You wondered if this was what it felt like being loved by him.

Forever was what you wished for when it came to kissing him. Yet, it eventually came to an end just like every one of your favourite movies. This time, however, you weren't disappointed, you were glad.

"Don't apologise. Y/N, I'm in love with you too," his hand on your cheek remained, the dim light managed to bring out the sparks in his pupils. It was your turn to be confused. Didn't he have a crush? "I know what you're thinking. Gwen—" it's freaky how he always knew, "—I was kinda dumb, to be honest. I was always in love with you but it took me years and a girl to only realise that,

"She was nothing like you. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of you. I wasn't trying to like her, I was trying to find a piece of you in her. Being the coward that I am, I ran away from facing the thought of liking you, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I kept on entertaining the thoughts of liking Gwen instead, but none of it was real. You're the one who's constantly taking up space in my mind, in my heart,"

The fireworks from earlier exploded ten folds in your mind. You couldn't believe you were experiencing every passing moment listening to Jake's confession. He felt the same way as you did for him. He has had the same pining for you like the same way you had for him. Years, years of unspoken romantic love for one another that both were too scared to touch upon.

Jake took your shell shocked silence as an opportunity to continue on. "I'm sorry for standing you up all the time. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not realising it sooner. But I love you, Y/N. You're my best friend, more than anything, you're the only person I want to have occupying my mind all the Goddamn time,"

"Jake," your hand travelled to place itself onto his which rested on your face. "I love you too," you laced your hand into his, the intimacy that would've been seen platonic days ago was now something more than that. You and him both felt the shift, it was apparent.

"I don't care that you're Spiderman," you continued, not once breaking eye contact with him, letting him stare into yours as you did the same. "You're Jake to me, you forever will be, and that's all that matters,"

Jake's delicate features melted into a smile. His pretty smile that had you swooning was on display like a trophy, influencing you enough to crack a small grin too. He looped an arm around your waist, dipping you slightly and pressing a haste kiss on your lips, then your cheeks.

"I guess I can now say I've swung into your heart," he teasingly sent a wink flying at you, to which you responded with an eye roll. Some things never changed, but his ego definitely was inflated now.

"Shut up before I kick you out," you threw a light punch at his shoulder, which he dodged almost unsuccessfully. "Come on, let's patch you up then we can go to bed," you patted his shoulder, walking towards your bathroom.

"Demanding," he whistled under his breath, picking up his discarded mask from the floor.

"Don't make me add a black eye to your face,"

"But you like my pretty face,"

"You want to test it out?"

"Okay, okay. I'm coming."

The night eventually ended with Jake being patched up and sleeping on your bed instead of his usual spot on the ground. These little changes was what you anticipated most, but other than that, it was safe to say nothing would be changing when it came to your and Jake's relationship. If anything, it was about to be stronger.

So what if he was Spiderman? At least you knew Spiderman was yours, and he had indeed swung into your heart.

Dating your best friend who had a secret identity was fun.

You got to discuss maths in school and listen to his adventures after. Not to mention, he would swing you around New York City at times once the clock striked past midnight. No other girl was going to get a date like this. Ten out of ten, you may add.

With the fun came the terror. You do fear for Jake's safety almost every time he's out, and it has become a routine to patch him up till the point where you had to restock your emergency kit. This time was like no other when Jake appeared through the window soundlessly in his Spiderman suit.

"Hey," he was breathless, tumbling over the window still.

You jumped, not even realising his appearance. "What the hell? Jake? Oh my God," you got up right away to support his tired body, but he ended up sliding down onto the ground anyway.

"Are you injured anywhere? Bleeding?" You checked for his body, trying to spot any obvious cuts, making yourself comfortable in the space between his legs.

"No," his hand reached for the end of his mask, pulling it up halfway only to reveal his lips. "Can I get a kiss?"

"Are you serious?"

"I am dead serious,"

You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss on his lips that eventually widened into a satisfied smile. You gently slapped his face, eliciting a sweet laugh from him and with a tug of his hand, he fully removed the mask from his head, revealing his pretty face that you missed.

"I got something for you," his hand reached out to brush your hair away from your face, his touch ever so gentle when it came to you. He dug something out of his bag, pulling out a fresh bouquet of flowers. "Ta-da,"

"Flowers?" You accepted the bouquet from him, noticing all of your favourite flowers in it. He remembered, even the littlest details about you, he remembered them all.

"I got them on the way here," you raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his hands up in defence. "Hey, I didn't steal them. I actually paid for them. They gave me a discount too because I was in my suit,"

You resisted a smile. "You're unbelievable,"

"Unbelievably cute? Romantic? Handsome?" He leaned in closer to you, noses close enough to brush against one another.

"Go away," you squeezed his cheek, and he just let you do so without any fight. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him briefly. "I like them,"

"What about me?"

"I like you too,"

"But I like you more,"

You threw your head back laughing, a simple sound which was enough to have Jake's heart racing. "We're not making this into a competition, stupid. Now, go shower or else you're not sleeping on my bed,"

"But—"

"Nope. Shower or get exiled,"

"Fine," he dragged his body up sluggishly, looking almost like a puppy being forced to his dismay: the shower. "You're not joining me?"

"Don't make me chase you out." you threw a pillow at him that he skillfully dodged. Damn his spider senses. His laughter echoed around your bedroom until he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of it gave comfort to you and your beating heart.

Things might've changed a little in different aspects, but you knew nothing could change you or Jake altogether. He was your best friend and lover no matter what he was. Spiderman or loverboy, he was everything to you. All you knew was that he was going to be by your side no matter what, protecting your heart alongside the city.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @shinrjj @kgneptun @ilovegyuvin @hyunniesvlog @eleanorheartschishiya @nanabbg @letwiiparkjay @teddywonss @classicroyalty @run2x @yannnnaj @jakesfurry @gyuwooboozle @nylajp24 @usedto-me @vernonburger @simjyunnie @haerasblog @jakevascaino @sunpov @ms-no1kpopstan @jiawji @rikizm @cheerrxy @kimsunoops

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ahhnini · 5 days ago

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general headcanons with sevika! (relationship ver.)

a/n - this is taken place post arcane canon!

warnings - angst, men and minors dni, strap use, thigh riding, I am aware this is lowkey kinda ass I wrote this in a yearning frenzy at 3 am last night.

sfw

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ I imagine she smells woody, almost piney with a hint of that sweet pinecone scent. it’s subtle, and it doesn’t overwhelm your senses. only when you’re cuddling her can you smell it. and she smells like home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ surprisingly a homebody. when she walks down the streets of the undercity she gets flashbacks to harsher memories, so she prefers to stay home with you and make new, better ones.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ however, she feels conflicted. zaun is her home, where she grew up in, so sometimes she forces herself to walk along the alleys where she’s seen so much blood been shed. it’s her home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she rants to you about the council members, telling you how pretentious they are and how she hates working with them. you listen, pouting at her frustrations.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ since she works at piltover now, she sees vi sometimes, and her heart clenches because she resembles jinx. you’ve made a small tribute to her, as well as isha in your shared home.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she is so protective of you. always an arm wrapped around your shoulder or waist when you two go out. she doesn’t let you out of her sight.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she’s so so so pouty!! :( when you visit her in her councilor’s office sometimes, you see her pouting over her desk looking at the cases. and it’s so adorable. she also pouts when she sleeps!!

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ speaking of sleep, she’s a soft snorer, but heavy sleeper! you two could literally be living next to a train station and she would not move at all. however, if you move, then she’s gonna wake up right away.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ lowkey an insomniac. the only way for her to get comfortable is to have you by her side.

nsfw

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ okay, we all saw and heard how sevika literally GROWLED when cait bit her hand…and I have a LOT of thoughts about that…

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ LOVES when you challenge her in bed. brat tamer to the max!!

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ her fav position is where you’re sat on her lap, she’s manspreading, and she watches you ride her thigh :3

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she would snake her metal arm around your back, the coolness of the material making you shiver. her other hand would gently caress your face, her soft touches making you feel loved.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she lovesss seeing you beg for your orgasm, she loves having that sense of control over you. even when you did nothing wrong, she’d still make you beg to cum.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ this is so obvious; her strap game is insane. she’d manhandle you so easily on the bed, pushing your face down on the pillow, pushing into you inch by inch, bending down to whisper in your ears.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ she’s relentless with you, pounding into you fast and hard, bottoming out each thrust. but if she knows you’ve had a rough day, she’ll be gentle towards you. kissing down your body, moving her hips slowly.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ˚ gives the sweetest aftercare. she runs a bath for the both of you, carrying you with her muscular arms into the tub. she sits behind you, massaging your body and scrubbing you down, eyes full of love.

PLSS I NEED THIS MIDDLE AGED WOMAN SO FUCKING BAD

#𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙄’𝙎 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙆𝙎*ೃ༄#sevika arcane #sevika #sevika fanfic #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika x y/n #arcane fanfic

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thecapricunt1616 · 5 months ago

Text

Orchid - (c.b. one-shot)

𝓑𝓵𝓾𝓻𝓫 (𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing “What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent. “A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers “None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit “I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed Really, really fucking wet. Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh- You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction. He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him. “So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully. “Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm. “Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you. “Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head “I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach. “So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?” He was going to go fucking insane.

♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: In the spiritual world, orchids can symbolize the search for truth, the ability to appreciate life's beauty, and the courage to be different. They can also evoke a sense of tranquility and inner peace, and In Irish culture, orchids can symbolize beauty, luxury, honor, dignity, and spiritual grace. ♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Carmy is your childhood best friend, after he comes home & opens 'The Bear' you both realize you may have been hiding mutual feelings for eachother. ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 10.1k+ (of mostly smut) ♡ 𝐀/𝐍: Hello all! Firstly this is DC to my AMAZING, SMART, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL FRIEND @carmenberzattosgf ohhh Olive, this is the first time i'm writing you one of my proper novellas & I hope it is a lovely treat after all of your hard work after your test! This is a slight Self Insert for miss Olive, but can still be read as an x reader fic! I truly am proud of this smut & hope you love it Olive!!! 'olive'you to the moon and to saturn hehehe xoxoxo - Capri ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂:SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT, Childhood best friend trope, no use of y/n, r is called pet names like kitten, bunny, squish, size kink, squirting, overstim, dom!carmy, unprotected sex, p in v sex, AFAB reader, virgin!reader, corruption kink Carmy, aftercare, not edited (we die like bears. Pretend it’s perfect, ok?!)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You and Carmy had known each other for quite a few years. You were one grade below him, and in middle school, you became close. Every student was forced to join a club for some stupid reason, and you chose ‘reading club’.

To be expected, When you walked in, it was just a room where kids sat for an hour every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday last period and read books silently. Carmy was sat in the back corner desk reading a Deadpool Vol. 2 comic book, so you plopped in the desk next to him and took out out a The Walking Dead comic.

He looked a bit surprised, at first, but after 2 weeks of this he cleared his throat and nodded towards your comic

“Those uh…those any good?” He asked. His voice was soft, a bit higher than other guys in his grade. Your friendship blossomed from there, and all the way through high school.

After he graduated, though, and left you for your senior year- he ended up drifting apart from you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were busy with school during the day or what- but he stopped calling as often.

After Mikey died, though, and he came back to Chicago - naturally he leaned on you once again for support since you were one of his closest friends growing up. So over the past year, you two had once again became two peas in a pod.

You helped with the restaurant renovations when he needed, also made sure to be a shoulder to cry on for him. He appreciated you more than you knew, and was surprised when he came back after all of this time and you were even more beautiful then when he left - if that was even possible at all. He had a crush on you when you were younger, but had so much anxiety that he thought he’d be labeled a perv or a weirdo if he was known to date a girl younger than him.

Today you were sat on his couch, watching some cheesy Halloween Disney movie that you had insisted on watching because you couldn’t stand horror movies yet ‘still wanted to feel the fall spirit bear!’ To which he groaned and said it was still only the end of August.

You were comfortably sat between his legs on his old couch you’d asked a million times why he hadn’t gotten rid of as he carefully thread his fingers through your hair. Suddenly, a question started bouncing around your mind that you realized you’d never asked the question to.

You hadn’t really asked Carmy much about his time away from Chicago, you’d figured that if he was so desperate to leave home and didn’t even tell you there had to be a reason why, so even touching the topic seemed strange feeling to you. But you asked anyways

“How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing

“What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent.

“A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers

“None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit

“I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed

Really, really fucking wet.

Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh-

You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction.

He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him.

“So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully.

“Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm.

“Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you.

“Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head

“I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach.

“So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?”

He was going to go fucking insane.

“Uhhh-“ he feels blood rushing to his cock and casually rested his hand over his lap to conceal it “like- well f’me it’s different. But girls…well. Good- a lot of the girls I’ve been with say it feels good because it feels…complete. Like, full, like that’s how they wanna feel all the time. Which I mean when I’m fucking their pussy I could probably say the same but I guess that’s the best way to explain it. Full” he shrugged a bit, grabbing the throw pillow now and resting it over his lap as his explanation had his mind racing with each and every thing he wanted to show you.

“Full” you repeated. Maybe that’s what you were missing. You had tried sticking your fingers inside once or twice but it never felt good, so you didn’t understand why other people would say it felt so good. The only thing that you found good oh, so good. Was rubbing your clit.

Thinking about it being carmys hands other then your own made you get to this point where your toes would curl and legs would shake, it felt like fireworks. It always ended with your hips and said little twitching. Sometimes you realized if you went for too long, it would pulse.

“Ye’ - have you ever tried anything yourself?” He asked, swallowing thickly after the question. He couldn’t lie, the only thing saving his dignity was the small throw pillow he had basically glued to his crotch with his hand. His cock was suffocating, painfully hard and throbbing against the confines of his vintage Levi jeans.

“Oh yeah- yeah. It just… it’s never good I dunno maybe I don’t know how to do it right or something” you said, oblivious to the fact of what him holding that pillow even meant. “Why don’t I show you so you can make yourself feel good, mmm? It’s a good thing to know, I’ll help you out , wouldn’t want you missin’ out, princess”

That’s how tonight started. Now, you were on your back on Carmy’s bed, completely bare, he was fucking coaching you on how to touch yourself. “So- show me how you start” he was sat in front of you, full view of your pussy. Your cheeks hadn’t ever felt hotter, but your mind was buzzing with excitement none the less.

“Uh- like, well, whenever I try to put in a finger or something it hurts, so I just…” you spread your thighs wider, putting a bit of spit on your fingers before beginning to rub at your clit in slow, gentle circles. You took a deep breath at the pleasure it brought, meanwhile Carmy was watching your every move with a lustful gaze. His usually icy blue eyes were currently the blue of the midnight sky, lit with the dancing northern lights of being the first person to see you, to get the potential to deflower you.

“How’s it feel?” he questioned. His voice was husky but soft, laced with honeyed desire. If he was any less than strictly disciplined, the sight of his childhood crush laying in front of him, spread out like something from a high school dream of his, touching herself - the prospect that she’d waited for him - he’d be mounting you like a fucking dog - but, the gentleman he was, he just watched, clutching the blankets at his sides to stop his trembling anticipatory hands.

“It- uh” you giggle nervously, “good - I um… I feel myself getting really wet I don’t wanna ruin your sheets did you wanna grab like…a towel-”

“No- no. That's fine, that's- that’s the fun of it. I love that, make a mess please make a mess, sweetheart. That's how I know you’re feeling good” he explained quickly. You swallowed thickly and nod, still feeling a bit weary on just allowing yourself to make a mess of his sheets, but if he really didn’t mind…

On the other hand Carmy literally had to squeeze his cock through the confines of his jeans so that he could ease the throb that was happening. As you nodded in agreement to his statement, moving your middle and ring finger around your clit a bit faster, adding a bit more pressure, he nearly groaned as your jaw fell slightly slack, letting out the prettiest little breathy whine he’d ever heard in his life.

Your back arched in the most sensual way, your eyes fluttering shut and he took the opportunity to get his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, sighing at the great relief of pressure that was imprisoning his cock and resting back on one hand as he watched you, biting his bottom lip as you reached your other hand up and grabbed at your breast, gently tugging at your nipple and whining gently.

“And uh- this- I like this - feels good” your eyes fluttered open as you explained and he nodded quickly, as if he was taking mental notes of every single thing you said and did, and storing it in a file folder of his brain.

“Yeah? Has anyone ever sucked on y’tits before, princess?” he asked in that soft, low way. He knew the answer to the question, of course he knew the fucking answer - you’d admitted to him that you hadn’t as much as made out with a guy before now, but he loved to hear you say it. He wanted to hear over, and over, and over, that he was the first person to make you feel good, the only person. The way he said it made your core clench around nothing - and now he could see it clear as day. It made the edges of his lips curl into a slight smirk when he noticed, having the urge to lean forward and catch the drip of creamy white arousal that gushed out of your pretty tight hole with his finger and pull it into his mouth, he wondered if he could make you squirt. “N-no- No uh… no one” you admit, please, please offer you begged with your eyes to which thankfully he agreed since he said

“Would you mind if I try, so we see if you like it?” he sat up a bit when you nod, expecting a verbal answer. He continued sitting, and you stared at eachother for a moment until he finally said “One thing that won’t work w’me is not usin’ y’r words, angel” he said in that breathy way that made you shiver, his tone sweet but firm.

“Please, yes please” you said, voice meek and shy, just above a whisper. You had gotten so lost in his eyes that your hand stopped moving and when he noticed this as he shifted to get comfortable next to you, he said

“You can keep touching yourself, pretty girl” He kissed down your neck with hot, open mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of saliva that gave you a chill as he moved down to your same breast that you were just paying attention to with your fingers, so you move your hand to your other breast. He kissed over the flesh of your breast, looking up at you and gauging your reaction as you continued making quick circles around your clit, the sound of your wetness causing a faint click to be heard throughout the room.

“If you want me to stop at any point, just say stop - ok? It doesn’t matter why, if you aren’t enjoying something say stop” he told you truthfully. You nodded and smiled a bit, your belly swarming with butterflies at the way he was so focused on making sure you felt safe and heard during your first experience that was so intimate.

“I’ll be sure” you promised and he continued kissing around your breast until he got to your nipple. He ran his lips over it lightly, teasing the bud with his lips gently before sticking out his tongue and flicking it over the sensitive bud in a way that made you shiver slightly. Once he’d gotten your sensitive bud perky he took it into his mouth, sucking on it lightly and swirling his tongue around it in a way that made you moan out, eyes fluttering shut and head dropping back.

“Oh- mmhmm- yeah, feels nice” you breathe, causing him to smirk around your flesh, bringing his hand up to your other breast, gently nudging your hand out of the way and taking over. You gasped as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers, a small twinge of pain flicking through you - but mixed with the feeling of his lips and tongue on your breast, and you fingers now quickly working at your clit in tight up and down strokes, your stomach beginning to clench and tighten. Your breathing got quicker, turning into little pants as you got closer and closer to your peak. He removed himself from your nipple with a pop, looking up at you

“Gettin’ there, huh baby?” he confirmed, he could tell by the way you were whimpering and your thigh was twitching every so often that you were about to fall over. In response you nod quickly, mind fuzzy and eyes still closed. “Lemme show y’somethin” he takes his hand away from your breast, returning his mouth to your other nipple and gently applying pressure to your lower abdomen right below your naval. The pleasure was simply mind numbing, you weren’t sure how just a simple palm under your bellybutton could make you gasp, but here you were. The noises you were making were sinful, whiney, hot, even to your own standards - you didn’t even know you could make noises like this.

“Tha’s it kitten, such a good girl - make yourself cum” he increases the pressure and you cry out as you’re thrown over the edge, hips jerking and shivering. Your thighs quivered, and he released his palm from your stomach to hold it and rub it gently as you continued working yourself through your high. Once he saw you finally take your fingers away from your clit once you began to feel overstimulated he pulls away from your breast once again and takes your hand, looking at the sticky creamy strings dripping down your fingers.

“Can I clean these up for you angel?” he asked and your mouth dropped a bit at the questioned, your already twitching clit feeling like it leapt.

“Yes- please do” you said softly. You thought he was going to be so gentlemanly and take his t-shirt off and wipe them for you so you didn’t have to get up and wash your hands since your legs felt like jelly, but what he did was even better. He parted his lips, opening his mouth and taking your fingers all the way to the back of his tongue, before closing his lips around them and sucking them, swirling his tongue around them like he did your nipple and the sensation caused a moan to escape your throat, which in turn he huffed a chuckle through his nose.

Once your fingers were cum free, he pulled off of them with a similar pop as earlier on your breast and looked at you with a hazy lust filled smile “You did so good, squish” he said and you blushed, the sound of your childhood nickname in such an intimate moment making you feel extra shy. You giggled a bit as he cupped your cheeks with his dry hand before squishing them and pulling you close to give you short sweet pecks all over your face and finally landing on your lips.

“Thank you - I’ve never finished that fast I think” you said and he smirked, resting his forehead on yours

“Yeah? Bet I could make you do it again, and faster” he mused softly, his breath fanning your lips and you could smell the taste of yourself on his tongue, causing your heart to flutter in your chest. You hadn’t even tasted that before, let alone anyone else.

“I’d bet you can’t” you teased, ever egging on the forever running competition between you two. “Especially after I just finished, that’d take forever” you smirk and he snorts a laugh, sitting up a bit.

“Is that a challenge, squish?” he asked and you shrug,

“If you think you can handle it, sure” you spread your legs again as he sat up fully and got you situated between his thighs and comfortably sitting against his chest.

You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.

“Not only can I handle it, I can do it without touching your clit if you trust me” he said cockily and you look back at him

“Always trust you bear” you said sweetly. He felt butterflies in his stomach, bending his head down and giving you a long, gentle kiss, the kind of kiss that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It felt like the kiss of a summer breeze, sweet and relaxing

“Ok, I know you said that you’ve tried fingering yourself and it didn’t feel good, but I wanna try- Like I said before, just say stop any time, ye’?” he assured and remembering what he said about needing to use your words you nod and added a soft ‘yes’ to confirm your understanding. “Good girl” he purred, kissing your forehead and nudging his thigh under yours, pries your legs a bit further open.

“So usually you’re gonna wanna do what you just did before you start fingering yourself, kitten - gotta get yourself nice and wet, if you can make yourself cum before you start that’s even better. But you wanna start with just one knuckle, middle finger is best usually” he explained, his lips pressed to the shell of your ear and hot breath tickling your neck as he whispered low and soft.

“Uh- uh-huh” you said, swallowing thickly as you watched his finger slowly swirl around your hole, collecting creamy white arousal and slowly pulling it away so there would be a string as he held it up to show.

“See that, all that sweet shit? That’s what you need for it to feel good baby” he rubbed his thumb with his middle finger, spreading them apart to show you the sticky stringy mess when he had barely touched you yet. “You’ve tasted yourself, right angel?” he nipped at your earlobe gently, pulling it with his teeth and you whimper softly.

“No- I- I haven’t” you admitted, breath hitching when he tuts, disappointed,

“You have to, you have the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted, squish, go ahead- s’like fuckin candy” he swipes his middle and forefinger over your hole all the way up to your sensitive clit, making your hips twitch a bit as he collected the fingerfull of white cream and brought it up to your lips. You opened without a second thought, and he thrusts his fingers in your mouth in such a way that made you groan a bit at the heavy feeling of his fingers on your tongue. He was right, you did taste sweet. Heady, but wonderful. He hummed as your eyes fluttered shut and you enjoyed the taste.

“See? Thank you for letting me be the first person to taste you babygirl” he kissed your temple as he gently eased his tattooed fingers out of your mouth after you licked them clean. The statement leaving his lips made his cock twitch, fuck, no one had ever had such a effect on him before, as if there was fireworks popping in his veins.

You looked up at him, leaning up and connecting your lips in another one of those kisses that made your heart skip a beat or two. He gently squeezed at the plush of your thigh, his nails creating light half moon shaped indents in the flesh which caused a sweet whimper to leave your throat “Carmy please touch me” you begged, before trying to bring your lips back to his and he inched his face away teasingly.

“Use your words, pretty girl” he purred, gently grazing his teeth over your jaw and nipping gently. You arched your hips, trying to get him to rub at your clit again, kissing his lips with a passionate open mouthed kiss and taking his hand, putting it over your heat and grinding over his fingers, huffing a breath of relief when you felt his strong fingers brushing over your clit. He huffed a chuckle into your lips, dipping his fingers down and swirling the tip of his middle finger over your entrance after spreading you out with his fingers, gently prodding just the tip of it in. You bit down on his lip gently, pulling away and letting it snap back into place.

“I wanna try that with you…maybe it’ll feel better when someone else does it” you admit shyly, hand moving to cover your breast when you realized that it was still just you sprawled out and naked on his bed, he had only unbuttoned his jeans at this point. “An’ I want you to take this off” you said just above a whisper, voice honeyed with innocence as you tugged at the hem of his shirt.

“M’sorry baby I didn’t mean to strip you down an’not join you, I just had t’get a fuckin’ taste been wantin’it f’so long” he admitted, sitting up and pulling his shirt off with one tug, his curls becoming even more ruffled in the process before settling back against the headboard, your back now warmed by the feeling of his chest pressed against it. He pulled your thigh open again wider this time, and went back to rubbing your clit in gentle, slow circles that had your head dropping back on his shoulder.

“Like we said you tell me if s’too much yea?” he said gently in your ear before kissing the base of your neck and you hum, muttering a yes, that turned into a gasp as he picked up the speed of his fingers.

“Yes- god- please, yes Carmy” you weren’t sure what exactly you were begging for, but knew if it was anything like up to this point-

You were going to enjoy yourself just fine.

You felt so hot, You had lost track of how many times Carmy had made you cum on his fingers at this point, your brain had turned to mush after number 5 and you just became a pathetic moaning mess beneath him only knowing ‘yes’ and ‘no’. The sheets beneath you felt soaked with your arousal, and you could barely keep your eyes open. You felt another one coming as your thighs had began to shake and you were squirming in Carmys lap as he held your thighs open with his knees hooked over yours to keep them from closing.

“Awww y’gonna cum f’me again bunny? Mmm? You sound so fuckin’ pretty when you cum, beggin’ me to keep goin- fucked you stupid and you havent even had my cock yet” he edged you on in that soft husky voice you loved right in the shell of your ear. Your jaw had come slack, and hips rutted up beyond your control to meet his fingers and draw them deeper - how he’d stretched you open to accommodate 3 was still baffling to you

“Yes- yesyesyesyesyes” you babbled, feeling him chuckle at your eagerness. He had never been so fucking hard in his life, but being the disciplined partner in the bedroom he was, he wanted to be sure that you were essentially in tears begging for his cock by the time he gave it to you and he was well on his way there.

“Yeah? Yeah you wanna cum angel? What if I do this, mmm? On that spot we found” he purrs in your ear, finding that spot that made you nearly stop breathing and stars of white to form behind your lids and continued to pump his fingers in that come hither motion you knew would get you to your peak faster, but what you didn’t know was he was going to rub the pad of his palm right over your clit that was aching for attention in such a way you felt a pit at the base of your stomach so white hot with pleasure that all you could do was quickly look down to see what on earth could feel so good just as a gush of creamy white covers his fingers and drips down his wrist, going as far as to drop to the crook of his arm and the most mind-melting orgasm washed over you after that.

He worked you through it, of course, purring filthy praises in your ear about creaming so pretty on his fingers, and how the noises you made were something close to angelic. He kissed over the side of your face, down to your jaw, and neck, nibbling over the little marks that he’d left on your collarbones as he slowed down the thrusting of his fingers.

“Let’s see what kinda mess you made, babygirl” he eased his fingers out, the empty feeling causing you to whine a bit that he caught quickly in a kiss, sucking on your already plump and kiss-bitten bottom lip, by the time he pulled away to look your mind was hazy and kiss drunk. “Wow” he mutters, utterly amazed with your release, holding up his sticky right hand and spreading his fingers apart to demonstrate the sweet stringy white cream covering his digits.

“You want some baby?” he sucked the tips of his fingers sensually, moaning hotly at the taste, enjoying it so much that his lust blown blue eyes fluttered shut for a moment. You took his hand, taking his fingers and opening wide, sucking them clean. You hum softly at the satly sweet taste, definitely different then just your slick from earlier.

“Good girl- always so good f’me mm?” he braised, cupping your cheek with his other hand and you didnt take your eyes off him as you began to slowly bob your head back and forth, causing his jaw to fall slack watching as your eyes got friskier, he knew you knew what you were doing. “Are you a good girl?” he mocked “That isn’t good girl behavior” he teased, causing you to pull off his fingers with a satisfying pop, licking your lips of the additional release that coated them.

“What if I said no, would I be in trouble” you muse, a frisky smile dancing on your lips. You giggled how you did when he knew you were up to something.

“Ohhh do you want to be punished?” He grabs your face, “open up this filthy fuckin mouth mm?” He said and you stuck your tongue out teasingly. “Noooo, I said open” he tapped your cheek lightly and you relented, opening your mouth for him and sticking your tongue out wide just to tease.

“Aaahhh” you said teasingly until you heard and felt him spit a hot glob of saliva into your mouth that tasted like your arousal coating your tongue. You opened your eyes to see him smirking down at you cockily.

“Now swallow since you wanna act like such a little slut mmm?” He pushed your jaw closed and you swallow right away, looking up at him stunned but impossibly turned on, not quite sure how to even respond as you never thought it was an option.

“Can you do it again please” you open your mouth and rest your head back. He chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he collected a generous glob in the front of his mouth before connecting his lips to yours, letting it fall over your tongue and you moan softly drinking it down like a magical elixir while you kiss over his lips. He pulled away just enough to speak

“Already turned you into a little fuckin’ whore f’me, mm?” He strokes your cheek gently with his now dry but slightly sticky hand from your cum and you turned your face to the side, capturing your lips around his thumb and sucking lightly as you look into his eyes, bobbing your head slowly and his breath hitched a bit.

“Have you ever sucked cock?” He asked, his voice soft and husky. You get your cheeks heat at the bluntness of the question.

“N-no,” you managed, your voice sheepish.

“Y’wanna try, you can say no, of course, but you seem to have…” he pried your mouth open with his thumb again, brushing the pad of it over your tongue and as if it was a routine you closed your lips around it and swirled your tongue, bobbing your head slightly and he squished your cheeks with his hand “an oral fixation. So let’s put it to better use then cleanin’ the cum offa’ my fingers, mm?” He said in such a way that made a shiver go down your spine.

“Yea- I might not be good-“ you start to apologize and he put his finger to your lips, stopping you

“I can teach you.” He promised and you nodded gently, holding onto his forearm and gently taking the finger into your mouth all the way to the base and humming softly when you felt him pressing on the back of your tongue more, and more until you gagged and coughed into his hand. “Good girl, first thing is you need some spit” he pushed his boxers and jeans down enough to free his throbbingly hard cock, it coming up and slapping his stomach with a small fleshy sound that made your mouth water as you looked at it.

Veiny, thick, adorned with a little bush of dark curls at the base, balls that looked like the perfect handful- he was prettier then you’d though. “You’ve seen a dick before, right?” He teased as he grabbed it, twisting his wrist as he covered it with the slick and tightening his jaw a bit as he got used to the sensation.

Carmen was used to being pent up weeks at a time, of not having barely 10 minutes to sit and jack off without the sound of an email coming in and completely killing his boner - when he was quite literally almost there. So he was an expert at edging himself by this point, getting to cum for him was well- a luxury. And he knew if he was gonna cum anywhere tonight, he wanted it to be your pussy obviously or your mouth- or face, depending on the mood but he knew for your first time covering your face in cum and taking a picture of it may be a little nerve wracking, so that was more just a fantasy - but mouth or pussy would please him greatly.

“Yes- ive seen a dick… not like…in real life. But I’ve seen them In like…I saw porn a few times.” You admit shyly and his cock twitched in the confines of his hand at your admission.

Shiiiiiiit he thought to himself in his head, resisting the urge to just choke the fuck out of his cock and get this over with, finally get that release that his stomach was starting to hurt for. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. He’d been waiting for so long for this, that the thought of wasting the opportunity instead of having your mouth on his cock and he would rather get back with Claire then miss this opportunity.

“Yeah- mm tell me what kinda porn did you watch princess-“ he grunted a bit as he continued lightly stroking himself. You decided to take it upon yourself to straddle his thighs, and gently grab his wrist.

“I’ll tell you, but can I do this part?” You asked. Carmy was convinced he could cum right there so he grabbed the base of his cock, squeezing tight thinking of anything he could to not just bust and have it spurt all the way onto your tits like a loaded fucking gun.

“Yeah- course baby” he let go of it, guiding your hand to the base and wrapping his hand around yours, stomach muscles tightening when he felt the sheer size and softness of your hand. “Jesus Christ-“ he muttered to himself as he slowly started working your hands up and down his length, his abs contracting with each twist of your wrist over his sensitive tip. “Tell me- was it, fuck was it like this? Er was it rough?” He asked, and you found yourself easing over onto his Jean clad thigh and rubbing your pussy back and forth over the denim to ease the throb that began to build there. You let out a soft wanton moan before responding

“Uh- mmm- I- I think that uh- it was pretty rough” you admit, grinding yourself a bit harder when he tightens his hand around yours and moves your hands in tandem faster

“Yeah? Was she screamin’? Did she cream all over his cock like I made you do?” He asked and your cheeks go pink at the reminder, not like the milky creamy stain sitting a few inches to your left didn’t remind you enough of just the mess he can have you making.

“Uh- hnngg” your thoughts practically melt as you brought yourself closer to the edge moving your hips in tandem with his hand and jaw falling slack

“Awwww are you makin’ y’self cum on my leg? You’re humping my leg princess mmm?” He cooed, moving his hand slower and watched as you slowed your hips “y’wanna cum on my leg? Mmm?” He asked and you nodded fervently, brain feeling fuzzy and lower stomach wound tight with that need, every pass of his strong thigh covered by roughly starched denim over your twitching sensitive nub causing that coil to wrap tighter, and tighter getting ready to snap at any moment. “Yeah? You wanna cum on my leg- er come on my cock” he asked and your eyes shot open -

not having realized for whatever reason that was definitely an option.

After a quick begging session of telling Carmy it would be okay to not use a condom since you had a birth control insert - it was making it harder and harder for Carmy to maintain his composure with every word passed from your pretty plump lips.

You were on your back, legs spread impossibly wide- Carmy brought out a flexibility in you you didn’t know existed, even though you guessed you’d likely be sore tomorrow. He grabbed lube from his nightstand, a dark purple bottle that read astroglide : water based lubricant on the side and opened the cap, squirting a decent glob in his hand.

“S’gonna be cold but it’s ok, everythings gonna get real hot in here in a second” he mused, stroking himself a few times to get himself coated before rubbing the rest over your already dripping hole and clit. He just wanted to be sure. He was right though, the feeling of the icy gel made goosebumps appear on your lower stomach that he began to kiss away as he rubbed at your clit gently

“Y’need me T’stretch you again just say the word, ok?” He confirmed, lining himself up with your entrance. You nodded reaching out for his hand and he took it in his, lacing your fingers together and kissing it sweetly “nervous, baby?” He asked in that soft sweet way that made your heart melt into a puddle in your chest.

Well, not anymore you thought.

“No- i promise ill tell you if it hurts” you assured him. He supported the leg that was curled around his waist with his strong arm, hoisting it up onto his shoulder

“It’ll feel good this way, trust” he gently nudged his tip in, causing you both to moan out a bit. “Holy fucking shit squish” he grunted out. Just the tip and he was already gritting his teeth to hold it together and not cream pie you before he even thrusted once.

“Wow- wow” you said breathlessly and when he rubbed your clit your toes curled and spine arched off the bed slightly. “Fuck- yes- oh yes, yesyesyes” you babble as he sinks in deeper. Your eyes were shut in bliss, but his were wide as an owl, taking in your everything.

Every breath, every moan, every twitch and arch and curve - it was like watching art. “God- so fuckin beautiful” he said as he sunk in another inch, rubbing your clit in tighter circles and he began to feel that tight pulsing he knew meant you were right on the edge he had felt on his fingers so many times tonight, but now that it was around his cock- his mind went blank. Completely fucking blank. He wasn’t sure if he was asked what his name was in that moment he’d have an answer, like every single bit of information he’d ever learned had vanished into an abyss. The only thing he could do was let out a series of whiney moans and grunts that hurled you into an orgasm that has tears pricking in the corners of your eyes.

“Oh fuck- yessss babygirl cum on my fuckin cock- god- such a good fuckin girl” he praised once he finally found his tongue, using the oppertunity to sink in fully to the hilt and you cry out, grabbing at his arm and gripping it with your nails causing him to grunt “fuck- gonna scratch me up kitten? Mmm? Let everyone at work know I rocked your shit?” He thrust just a bit harder and you dragged your nails down his arm, gasping at the sensation when he threw your other leg on his shoulder and you felt him impossibly deep.

It was all consuming how full you felt, quite frankly it was addicting. The mushroom shaped tip of his cock was massaging over that incredible spot deep inside you that made you see stars in your vision. You didn’t even notice that he was staring at the bulge showing up in your belly with each deep thrust of his cock.

“Jesus fuckin hell - look a’this, bunny” he taps your cheek lightly for your attention and rubs his hand over that little bulge and he groans as he can feel the tips of his fingers pressing over his cock as he thrusts up. The sight is incredible, unimaginably hot. You brushed his hand out of the way and gently press, causing you both to moan out in pure ecstasy.

“Oh- oh fuck fuck” he rambled, sweat dripping down his toned muscle and chain swinging against his glistening chest. You had the bright idea many times before but were never given the golden opportunity (pun intended) to suck on the little gold pendant no matter how many times it ever so teasingly dangled in front of your face. Since it was now or never, you hook your finger around the necklace and pull him closer and closer until you could pull it into your mouth and he groans hotly as you suck on it, wrapping it around your tongue.

“I always catch you starin’ at that, y’know that sweetheart?” He smirked down at you, continuing his slow deep strokes and putting his hand back over that little Carmen shaped swell he was leaving just below your naval. You felt your cheeks run hot never realizing that you had made it so obvious the appreciation you had for his chain. What could you say? The man wore it well.

“S’not my fault you look so good in your white shirts and chains. You drive me crazy” you admit, letting the necklace fall from your lips. He hummed softly at your admission, tilting your face up and capturing your lips in a kiss, cupping your cheek to hold you to his mouth and continue kissing you, quicker, more fervent as he sped up the snapping of his hips causing you to mewl into his mouth, and for his breath to fan out of his nose against your upper lip in hot short pants as he trailed his hands down over your neck, lingering there for a moment which for whatever reason sent fireworks shooting off in your belly, before sliding down and finding the swell of your breasts that were bouncing with each rough snap of his hips.

The sound throughout the room was the lewd wet slapping of skin, as well as whiney little moans tearing from your throat with each time his hips bounced off the meat of your ass from the intensity of his thrusts. He grabbed your breasts, one in each hand and thrummed over your nipples with the pads of his thumbs, squeezing them in his palms, pushing them together, just utterly enjoying himself kneading the balls of flesh.

The boyishness of it caused you to pull away so you wouldn’t laugh into his mouth and look down at his large tattooed hands massaging and squishing your breasts. “Havin’ fun, Bear?” You teased and he pinched your nipples playfully causing you to gasp at the mix of pain and pleasure.

“I am havin’ fun- aren’t you havin’ fun?” He confirmed, letting go of the sensitive buds of flesh so you could find the mind to reply you nod quickly and he cupped your jaw, slowing his thrusts “words” he reminded

“The most fun I’ve ever fucking had now keep touching my tits” you giggled, taking his palm and bringing it back to your breast and he snorts a laugh.

“I’ve created a monster, mmm?” He teased, quickening his thrusts again and you nod with a hot mewl as he buries himself to the hilt and grinds his hips in such a way that his cock was rutting against your special spot, in turn causing you to gush around his cock how you did earlier and your legs shake as another one of those intense orgasms washed over you, your eyes nearly rolling back as your lids flutter shut and jaw dropped. There was the roaring of blood in your ears, your back arching off the bed as your jaw fell slack and you let something out between a scream and a cry, “fuuuckfuckfuck Carmy fuckkkk” you cry out, the warmth flooding the sheets below you to the point you could hear the trickle of it.

“So fuckin hot Jesus Christ you’re so fuckin hot baby- soakin my fuckin cock like this I’m gonna fuckin fill up this pussy” he grunts, his thrusts becoming spurratic and he took his thumb, massaging it over your clit and laying his 4 fingers in such a way he could press in and feel himself fuck you as he did before.

The pleasure was so mind numbing you felt like jelly, the only thing in your brain currently was how if he kept doing this you were surely going to soak his mattress and have to buy him a new one, but for whatever reason your brain couldn’t connect with your mouth and the thought left as quick as it came. “You still want that kitten? Mm? Want me to cum in y’r tight pussy, yea? Make you mine?” He kissed over your ankle and down your calf as he waited for an answer. When he didn’t get one he spanks you lightly causing you to squeak in surprise “I said. Do you want me to cum inside you still? Mm? You fuckincockdrunk over there?” He said teasingly and you nodded quickly

“Yes - t’both, probably” you admit and he chuckled, bending over and giving you a chaste kiss to the temple

“Such a good girl” he praised, rubbing your clit quicker so you would clench around him. You squirmed beneath him, sensitive from your last orgasm but not able to tell him to stop- it felt too fucking good. “I know Angel- I know, almost there fuck jus’ a minute” he grunted, thrusting harder and groaning out hotly. “Thaaaas’ it - fuck so fuckin close bunny gonna fill up this pretty pussy- so fuckin tight god” he moaned out hotly, head dropping back in bliss as he absolutely wrecked you.

But you couldn’t help but look at him with half lidded blissed out eyes thinking that he looked like the incarnate of a Greek fucking statue that has an enormous cock. “Fuckin need it- need it- make me yours Carmy” you begged out, finally finding your voice again when you felt him twitch inside of you. He had helped you over the edge tonight - showed you what it meant to feel good - so you figured the least you could do is help him get there once.

“Yeah? Tell me again baby, what do you need?” He rasps, finding it harder to hold back, but he had to hear you say it.

“Cum inside of me, Bear. Make me yours, mark me.” You said between gasps and mewls, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. His eyes squeeze shut as he thrusts a few more times before setting himself inside you to the hilt and moaning hotly as he releases a huge hot string of cum inside of you, groaning as he thrusts slowly, releasing spurt after spurt of white cream that felt so warm, so right.

“Thank you- thank you squish, thank you” he rambled, cum gushing down the curve of your ass onto the sheets as he milked himself of every last drop with the help of your tight cunt. “God you are so fucking perfect” he said, his voice honeyed with lust and admiration. You pulled him to lay on top of you, his cock still deep inside. “I can pull out whenever-“

You interrupt him with a sweet, gentle, open mouthed kiss running your tongue over his and nudging your noses together gently before whispering “Let’s just stay like this for a while”

You stayed like that for about 15 minutes, until Carmy told you that he had to get you cleaned up and make sure that you used the restroom since you had gone so many rounds. By that time though, you had gotten all too comfortable with your leg around his waist and nuzzled into his neck, starting to fall asleep.

“But I don’t even haveee to peee” you whined, causing him to huff a chuckle, rubbing your side encouragingly.

“You have to do a few things before we nap, ok? I’ll even carry you cmon, let me up little monkey” he teased, picking up your arm and dropping it. You pretended it was dead weight, mushing your cheek into his chest more, enjoying the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne.

“Mm comfy here” you mused and he gently brushed your sweaty auburn hair from your forehead.

“I can tell you’re comfy cause you sound like you’re about t’fall asleep, squish. I was gonna make you a grilled cheese- if you listen” he mused and your head perked up.

“The one with the Parmesan on the outside so it’s all crunchy?” You asked hopefully and he smiled adoringly, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone

“And creamy tomato soup” he added and you peeled your arm from around him, sweaty skin sticking together as you pulled your bodies apart. You stretched, wincing a bit at the feeling in your lower back.

“Mm- we went hard” you said, and he gently helped hoist you so you were sitting up

“We did- sorry - was it too much?” He slipped on his boxers and came over to your side of the bed, scooping you up bridal style and kissing your forehead sweetly as he padded over to his en suite bathroom, gently setting you on the toilet and pulling out a good amount of toilet paper, folding it for you as you went.

“It wasn’t- ew why is my pee like…hot” you laughed causing him to chuckle as well as he handed over the toilet paper, before turning to the sink to wash his hands to give you privacy while you cleaned yourself up.

“Uh- kinda stupid but I read in this book that f’girls it like… is a defense thing for bacteria er’ some shit?” He chuckled and you giggle as you flush the toilet

“You read a sex book- woah-“ you attempted getting up but your thighs felt impossibly weak, and if it wasn’t for Carmy quickly noticing and dropping the hand towel to quickly grab your arms and steady you, you’d have fallen.

“Woahh there, Bambi, lemme help you, yeah? S’what I’m here for” he assured you and carefully helped you over to the counter, holding you up by your waist so you could wash your hands.

“Thanks- sorry. Dunno why I feel like I just ran 15 miles I barely did anything” you said shyly as you rinsed your hands with soap and water.

“S’just your first time, baby. It’s all normal don’ worry” he said, planting gentle kisses along your neck down to your shoulder where he’d left little purple marks.

“Oh-“ you said a bit worriedly as you saw the scratch marks in the mirror that you’d left on his bicep, so deep they looked nearly bruised, touching over them with your finger lightly “I hurt you- I’m so sorry” you whisper, looking down at them and he shook his head.

“Don’t worry kitten, loved it, felt good” he kissed your cheek gently and scooped you back up with ease, carrying you to his laundry room and sitting you on top of the dryer

“What are we in here for?” You questioned and he grabbed a pair of clean boxers from his hamper as well as one of his old the beef t-shirts that had been freshly washed as well.

“T’get you dressed so you don’t freeze to death” he said as if it was obvious, forgetting that your clothes that laid beneath you both in the bed that you had worn here were likely soaking wet which made you scrunch your nose.

“And get new sheets” he said with a smirk as if he could read your mind, it always felt like he could. He gently eased your ankles into each leg hole, pulling them up to your thighs and slipping the shirt over your head, helping your arms through before helping you down and pulling the boxer briefs up the rest of the way.

“Alright you can chill on the couch while I get all that shit in the wash, yea?” He picked you up, lifting you onto his shoulder like a sack of flour and you gasp and squeal laugh when he spanks you playfully

“Oh my god! Carmy!” You laugh, holding onto his shoulder as he carried you to his living room and gently dumped you on his couch where all of this started, and HalloweenTown was now back at the beginning screen asking if you wanted to replay the movie.

“I have to transport you somehow when these legs are useless” he teased and rested his knee on the couch, bending over and giving you a quick kiss on the head. “Lemme go change those sheets and I’ll be right out to make you your food, in the meantime though I want you drinkin’ this” he sets your yeti cup that was still full of ice water next to you on the side table and you smile a bit.

“Do you act this nice with all the girls you sleep with or am I just special” you said jokingly. His smile faltered for a moment as he thought about what he was going to say.

No, I’m pretty sure I would only ever act this way the first time I slept with someone if it was the person I’d been desperately in love with since middle school -

But he’d never say that out loud, the boldness from all the adrenaline and testosterone he’d been flooded with in the throes of passion have came and went. So he settled on,

“No, squish. You’re just special” he kissed the top of your head before heading back into his bedroom to deal with the waterlogged sheets you two had left. You nibbled on the inside of your lip, deep in thought as to what this meant for your relationship going forward, his words ringing around in your mind, until he came out- carrying a bundle of sheets in his arms, his biceps flexing as he carried them all to the laundry room.

“How’s that water comin’ squish?” He called from the laundry room as he loaded up the washing machine, shit- you had one job while he was gone and failed to do it.

“Good!” You lied, grabbing the cup and quickly chugging down a good 5 gulps, the icy feeling chasing all the way down to your stomach that grumbled at the contact making you realize it had been a while since you ate.

“I didn’t hear that cup move once before I asked. I was listening” he said amused, returning out of the laundry room in gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and he padded into the kitchen, getting out a pan to heat.

“Okay creepy, listening to my water habits- I’m gonna watch my movie now that you so filthily interrupted with your… your…” you try to find the word and he laughs, getting out what he needed for the soup and your sandwiches

“Myyyyyy….” He teased

“Sluttiness!!! Your masculine- pull” you said and you both cracked up, shaking his head

“You’re a fuckin dork” he mused and you smiled, shrugging as you hit play on your movie once again.

“You love dorks. It’s why we’re best friends”

It wasn’t long until Carmy came over with a steaming bowl of soup, and 4 squares of amazing grilled cheese on a plate and sat It down at the coffee table. “Careful the soup is hot” he warned and you grabbed one of the little triangles right away, taking a bite and moaning

“Mm best grilled cheese In the world” you rest your head on his shoulder, chewing happily and your eyes fluttering shut in bliss.

He chuckled a bit, having a bite of his own that of course wasn’t as beautifully plated and prepared as yours was (and had gone a bit cold since he always made yours last so it would be hot and melty for you) “really? You think that could be an award I could get, should we call Guinness?” He joked, causing you to laugh a bit.

People often thought Carmy wasn’t funny, or that he didn’t have the ability to make conversation - he was simply very shy, and observant. When you were in public too, he didn’t have a problem joking around with you - but with people he doesn’t know, he prefers to sit back for quite a while and observe the way they react to other people before he tries to interact himself. It made you two a great pair, because you always trusted his judgment.

“We really should. Hey- why do you always make mine all pretty?” You asked, realizing that you always noticed it but had never brought it up before. He hummed in contemplation, swallowing before saying

“I dunno. Cause you deserve nice things” he said simply before taking another bite. You scrunched your brows together, doing the same as you thought.

“You deserve nice things” you said and he nodded

“Already got em’ got all the nice things I need” he said and finished off his first half before having a sip of water from the glass he’d brought for himself. You weren’t sure what he was saying, Carmy didn’t allow himself to have like…anything.

“What are those?” You asked and he looked at you

“Well, you’re my best friend. S’all I need, I realized after I came back from New York I’d rather be your friend and stay here then be anyone else, I love being your friend, squish. You’re a great friend” he said earnestly. Your cheeks suddenly felt hot, and you felt a lump in your throat like you could cry

“Bear I love being your friend” you put your sandwich on the plate and wrap your arms around him. He held you, kissing your cheek gently as he rubbed your back, enveloping you in one of those deep warm hugs you knew him for. He always gave Bear Hug a new meaning to you. “But-“ you pulled away and look at him, biting your lip gently. “We can keep being friends… after what we did- right?” You asked and his eyes widened before nodding like it was the craziest question in the world.

“Are you- yes- yes squish. That wouldn’t ever change me wanting to be your friend - nothing could change that.” He cupped your cheek gently “you- y’re everything t’me” he said softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb lightly.

“So are you…are you doing this kinda thing with other girls still?” You asked meekly, eyes drifting to your lap. He took his other hand, bringing it to your other cheek and angling your face up to look at him once again.

“Do you want me to stop seeing other women?” He asked, his voice low, soft, honest. You swallowed thickly in contemplation, looking into his eyes. You wanted to say yes, but you didn’t want to feel selfish in case he didn’t feel the same, but if he didn’t feel the same you didn’t want to do that with him again.

“Yes- b-but…but if you don’t want to…that’s ok, carm. I just- I only want it to be us…” you said softly. He eased you into his lap, stroking your auburn hair gently and kissing your jaw up to your cheek and over to your lips, giving you a deep affectionate kiss, one that made your heart feel like it was going to burst with butterflies. After a few moments he pulled away and muttered against your lips, “It’s just us from now on”

Tagging bestie boops: @gallaghersgal @mouseymilkovich @daysofyellowroses @l4long-winded @carmybrainworms

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cressidagrey · 29 days ago

Text

You are the best thing that's ever been mine - Part 5

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Ariel Cane (Original Character)

Summary: Sao Paulo 2024. The Dutchman delivered a defining drive…but maybe there is a relationship that could also use some defining.

Warnings: Jos Verstappen, angst, crying, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation

Author Notes: Hi, hey, hello! Apparently I write F1 Fanfiction now?! Also this is the first time I am trying a social media au so my Canva Skills were put to the test. (Disclaimer: I kinda put legibility over authencity, so twitter doesn't look like twitter and messages looks like...something) Also huge thanks to @onebigfangirlworld and @leodette for holding my hand with this 😘)

“There are two more things we need to talk about,” Gemma said carefully.

She didn’t want to talk about more. Quite frankly, all Ariel wanted was to hug Max tightly. He had this unreadable expression on his face that told her that a storm was raging inside him, something they had only scratched the surface off.

She had never wanted to make him choose between her and his father…but this was what had happened regardless.

Hadn’t this been enough?

“First of all, do you want to give out a statement?” Gemma asked Max.

Max's expression darkened at the question, his jaw clenching a little. ”I don’t think it’s a question of what I want,” Max gave back.

She agreed.

Whatever Max said would be all over the media in no time…but saying nothing at all…wouldn’t go over well. The media would spin it into something worse.

Max would look like he didn't care, like he was trying to hide something, even when she knew the truth.

He sighed in irritation. "What do you suggest?" he asked Gemma.

Gemma seemed to understand his hesitation and frustration.

She sat up a little straighter in her seat, her expression professional.

“The press will know if you try to bullshit them,” she said drily. “Go with the truth. It was a completely inappropriate incident. And you ask for privacy at this time. Nothing too concrete.”

Max let out an annoyed huff, but nodded slowly.

"Yeah, let's go with that," he said in a resigned tone. "The last thing we need is the media speculating and starting another rumor."

Ariel sat quietly, still leaning against Max's chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

She could hear the irritation in his voice, could feel the tension in him as he talked to Gemma about their next course of action.

She couldn't help but feel guilty that he was in this situation because of her. Because of what had happened earlier. She hated that he had to be dealing with this mess instead of enjoying the win he deserved.

“They are still running with the pregnancy…speculation,” Gemma said. “I need to know…Is it true? Is Ariel pregnant?”

This whole pregnancy question was a ridiculous thing to ask, but she understood why Gemma had brought it up.

She was trying to cover all the bases, to make sure that there weren't any unexpected surprises that could make the media circus even bigger.

“Nope,” Azriel said drily popping the p.

“Are you…sure?” Gemma pressed carefully.

Ariel suppressed a snort at Gemma's skeptical look. "I'm absolutely sure," she confirmed, her tone firm. She could sense the disbelief in Gemma's question, and she couldn't help but add with a hint of humor, "I've been celibate for the past year, so there's absolutely no chance that I'm pregnant. None whatsoever."

Now Gemma stared at her like she was insane.

“You want to tell me that the two of you haven’t…” Gemma said carefully.

“Gemma, for fuck’s sake, we haven’t even kissed!” Max snapped. Ariel couldn't help but laugh softly at Max's blunt response.

She could see the skepticism on Gemma's face, the disbelief that she still wasn't fully convinced. And she couldn't help but smirk a little.

“Just for the record, we figured things out 3 hours ago,” Max said drily.

Ariel had to suppress a laugh at Max's dry statement.

Three hours.

They had figured things out and confessed their feelings for each other, and here they were, dealing with the media fallout and questions about pregnancies.

She couldn't help but find the whole situation slightly absurd and amusing. It was just a perfect example of how ridiculous the media could be sometimes.

One minute, they were obsessed with every little detail of her relationship with Max, and the next, they were asking if she was pregnant, even though they hadn't even had sex yet.

Ariel felt Max's arm tighten around her a little, and she knew he was probably thinking the same thing.But amidst all the absurdity and the media frenzy, one thing was clear to her.

She and Max had finally taken that crucial step, confessed their feelings to each other.

She felt warm, safe, and loved in his embrace. He was her rock, her pillar of strength.

She didn't care about the media, about their questions or speculations. Not when she had Max by her side.

Ariel leaned into his chest a little more, her body fitting perfectly in his arms. She could feel the warmth of his chest against her side, could hear his steady heartbeat.

Ariel knew they were in for a bumpy ride, especially with the media. They would be all over them, asking questions and speculating about every little detail.

But she didn't care. As long as she had Max, as long as they were together, they could weather any storm.

She felt Max's hand move, gently caressing her shoulder, his touch sending a shiver down her spine. She looked up at him, a small, tender smile playing on her lips.

Despite the chaos and the uncertainty of the situation, she felt a sense of calmness and peace. She knew that no matter what happened next, they would face it together. They were in this together now, no going back.

“...finally,” Gemma breathed.

Ariel chuckled at Gemma's relieved sigh.

"Finally indeed," she echoed in agreement.

She looked up at Max, his arm still wrapped around her. He seemed a little more relaxed too, his body less tense than before.

"Took us long enough, hm?" Max teased with a wry grin.

Ariel couldn't help but roll her eyes playfully at his comment.

"Is it serious?" Gemma asked carefully.

"As serious as can be," Max replied immediately, his tone firm and resolute.

Ariel knew that Max didn't do anything halfway, he was all-in when he committed himself to something. And when he said 'as serious as can be', he meant it wholeheartedly.

And still…she could feel a little shiver run through her at his words.

She knew Max meant every word he was saying. He was all in, and he was serious about them being together.

There was a certain charm in Max's blunt and decisive nature.

He wasn't one to sugarcoat things or beat around the bush.

He meant what he said, and he said what he meant. And when he said that he was serious about them, he meant it.

There was no room for speculation, no room for doubts.

And Ariel loved that about him.

She trusted him blindly.

"We've been dancing around each other for ages, and I'm done wasting any more time," Max stated firmly.

Ariel could hear the determination and certainty in his voice.

He meant it, he was done playing around.

Ariel felt her heart skip a beat at Max's declaration, her stomach fluttering with excitement and anticipation.

It was the last push she needed, the final confirmation that she wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Max was all in, and he was serious about them.

She felt a surge of happiness and relief wash over her, the truth of his words sinking in. They were doing this, they were really doing it.

She leaned into him, her body pressing against his, seeking his warmth and comfort.

Ariel could feel the firmness of his chest against her, his arms strong and protective, holding her close to him.

"I am happy for you both, but this does complicate things," Gemma said carefully. "The fact that he is your boss..."

"She works with me, not for me," Max cut her off.

Ariel suppressed a smile at Max's quick correction.

She felt a warm flutter in her chest as he spoke up to the defense, setting the record straight instantly.

And to be honest, she couldn't help but find it just a little bit hot, how he was so quick to correct Gemma, how he was always so quick to stand up for her.

“You are the ones paying her salary,” Gemma correcte him drily.

"We haven't let our relationship interfere with our professional lives before, we won't start with it now," Max continued. "And yes, I do pay her salary. Which means she works for me and not for Re Bull. So I don't really care what you have to say about this, she doesn't fall under company policy."Ariel felt a surge of pride and affection for Max as he spoke.

His words were firm and determined, leaving no room for arguments.

And hearing him defend her, hearing the certainty in his voice…Ariel looked up at him, admiring the strength and resolve in his eyes.

She knew he would always have her back, always stand up for her.

"We've been able to separate our personal relationship from our work," he continued, his voice steady and unwavering. "We've always been professional and respectful in the workplace, and that's not going to change."

He paused for a moment, his gaze shifting to Ariel, his expression softening ever so slightly.

"We know how to work together effectively, without letting our personal feelings interfere,” he continued, his voice firm yet caring.

“I agree,” Ariel said calmly. “We can manage. We always have.”

“I can already see, it doesn’t matter what I say,” Gemma said with some amusement.”

“No,” Max agreed flatly.

“What else?” Ariel asked with a grimace.

Gemma let out a long sigh, her expression becoming a little more serious. She ran a hand through his hair, clearly contemplating how to phrase the second matter.

"Have you checked social media yet?" she asked with a grimace

Ariel's stomach immediately dropped at the question, a sense of foreboding creeping up inside her.

She had a feeling she knew where this was heading, and she already didn't like it.

"Do I actually want to know what happened?" Max asked drily.

"Well, the press thought that whatever happened between Ariel and your father was much more interesting than actually asking the other drivers about the race...and they mad had a few...thoughts on that?"

Oh god.

"I think you'll want to see this?" Gemma said, as she handed over her tablet.

It was a clip of Pierre Gasly, clearly taking at the after race press interview, with the interviewer posing the question: "Do you happen to know if Max Verstappen is in a romantic relationship with Ariel Cane?" And Pierre actually answered, "Not as far as I know...but if they do become a couple in the next few weeks, I would win the bet, so if they could get on that, that would be great!"

"What bet?" Ariel asked weakly as she watched the clip run out.

She could already see where this was going. And she didn’t like it.

Were the other drivers betting on her relationship with Max?

"Who exactly took part in that bet?" Max asked, his voice fierce.

"...The whole grid?" Gemma answered with a grimace. "Apparently there is a whole betting pool according to Lando Norris?"

Ariel couldn't believe her ears.

The whole grid? Seriously?

She felt a mix of anger and incredulity at the revelation. Everyone, literally everyone on the grid, had been betting on her and Max getting together?

"This is ridiculous," she grumbled, her irritation reaching a boiling point.

The media and now the other drivers, all speculating about her and Max like they had nothing better to do.

She could feel Max's annoyance radiating off of him, and she knew he was just as fed up with this nonsense as she was.

"I can't believe they're all betting on our personal lives," she continued, her frustration growing with each word.

She could understand that the media loved to pry and speculate, but for the other drivers to also partake in this absurd gossipmongering... it was simply infuriating.

"Have they got nothing better to do than speculate about what's going on between us?" Max growled.

"And to think that even the other drivers are placing bets on us," Ariel said, her tone filled with disbelief.

It was one thing if the media was gossiping, but for the drivers to be involved in this ridiculous betting pool... it just seemed so juvenile.

"I mean, what is this, high school?" Max huffed, his irritation evident in his voice.

He was clearly as fed up with this whole situation as she was.

She couldn't believe that the other drivers had nothing better to do than bet on her and Max's relationship status.

"Also Lando Norris is apparently worried that he won't get Christmas Cookies from you this year?" Gemma continued with a grimace.

Ariel almost burst out laughing at the news about Lando Norris.

Was he seriously concerned about not getting her Christmas cookies?

"Lando is worried about the cookies?" she repeated, a mixture of amusement and disbelief in her voice.

She couldn't help but find it a bit ridiculous that the most pressing issue on Lando's mind was whether he'd be receiving her Christmas cookies or not.

"Seriously, that's what he's concerned about?" Max chimed in, his tone filled with a mix of irritation and amusement.

He seemed just as flabbergasted as she was that Lando was more worried about the cookies than anything else.

"I mean, I'm flattered that he enjoys my cookies so much," Ariel said, trying to keep a straight face.

She was finding this whole situation more and more absurd by the minute. It was like they were in some kind of soap opera or something.

"But the fact that he's more concerned about missing out on a batch of my cookies than anything else is just... I don't even know what to say," she continued, shaking her head in disbelief.

It was ridiculous, but also kind of endearing in a way. She couldn't help but find Lando's preoccupation with her cookies just a bit adorable.

"I swear, the drivers these days have their priorities all mixed up," Max chimed in, a hint of mock irritation in his voice.

He was trying his best to maintain a stern expression, but Ariel could tell he was secretly amused by Lando's obsession with her cookies.

"One minute, they're focused on the race, and the next, they're worried about the possibility of missing out on some homemade treats and having betting pools about my private life," Max continued, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Gemma let out a sigh, rubbing her hands together nervously.

It seemed like there was still more.

Ariel could feel her irritation rising once again as she prepared herself for more ridiculous gossip and speculation.

"Anything else?" Max asked clippedly.

"Charles Leclerc may have said that it was obvious that the two of you were in love?" Gemma offered.

Ariel nearly choked on her own spit.

She glanced at Max, seeing how his jaw was clenched tightly, his irritation evident.

Ariel couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Seriously? Charles Leclerc was now an expert on her and Max's relationship?

"Max. Charles and I are going to have an inchident the next time we meet," she said, as she closed her eyes.

Max chuckled, a hint of amusement in his voice. "We need him in one piece for the next race, you know," Max said, a hint of humor in his voice. “So go easy on him please.”

"Anything else?" Ariel asked nearly begging. Please let that be all?

"I think that's it," Gemma said quickly, as she gathered herthings to leave.

Ariel let out a sigh of relief, glad that the barrage of ridiculous gossip seemed to be over.

She sank back into the sofa and against Max, feeling a mixture of exhaustion and irritation.

Ariel was so tired of the media and the drivers prying into her personal relationship with Max.

"You know what, I'll deal with them tomorrow," she said with a sigh.

Max gave her a hum of understanding, his expression sympathetic.

"And Lando is not getting any christmas cookies any time soon," she muttered, making Max laugh.

"We both know that you don't hold a grudge that long," he teased her.

Ariel shot Max a mock glare, but she couldn't help but smile at his comment.

He knew her too well.

"Shut up," she muttered, shoving him playfully with her shoulder.

She tried to maintain a stern expression, but she couldn't help but feel a hint of amusement in spite of herself.

She looked at Max, giving him a weary smile.

"I swear, it's like the whole world has nothing better to do than gossip about us," Ariel muttered, her frustration still evident in her voice.

She shook her head, still finding it hard to believe that the other drivers had been betting on their relationship status.

Max chuckled darkly, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Well, they're all bored and have nothing better to focus on," he said dryly.

"I swear, the next time I see Lando, I'm gonna smack him upside the head," Ariel grumbled.

She was still irritated at Lando's statement about missing out on her Christmas cookies.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Max said softly. “You are threatening violence, so you need sleep.”

He was probably right about that.

She was tired, both mentally and physically, and she knew that a good night's sleep would do her some good.

Ariel got up from her chair, stretching her arms slightly.

"Yeah," she agreed, her voice soft. "Bed sounds good right now.Will you…keep me company?” She asked him, biting her lip.

She wasn’t sure why this was making her nervous…

Maybe because they had never actually share a bed before… but Max smiled at her, his eyes softening at her request.

"Of course I will," he replied softly. His voice was warm and reassuring, filled with unspoken affection.”You still owe me cuddles after all,“ he teased her and she snorted.

Ariel did snap a picture of the saltines and ginger ale on the bedside table as she connected the phone to her charger. While she didn’t theoretically fall under the purview of Gemma, she still send off a quick text about the instagram post she wrote, not wanting to stub any toes. Ariel was not going to let that ridiculous pregnancy speculation go on any longer.

She also texted Emma, not wanting her sister to be worried.

And then she slid under the high thread count sheets and glomped onto Max.

Max just laughed softly as he felt her snuggle up against him, her body molding perfectly against his.

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close, and she relished in the feeling of her head resting against his chest.

He nuzzled his face against her hair, taking a deep breath, inhaling her scent.

Ariel still couldn’t quite believe this. Not really. It felt utterly and completely…magical.

But here she was, curled up with Max in his bed, one hand of his gently tracing her spine and him pressing kisses to her hair.

“Did you…did you mean what you said?” Ariel asked him hesitantly.

“What?” Max wondered.

“That I am the woman you…you love,” she answered weakly. Did he mean that or had it just been the heat of the moment or… Max stopped his caresses for a moment, sensing the uncertainty in her voice.

He pulled back slightly, looking down at her, his eyes meeting hers.

His expression was gentle, filled with warmth and sincerity.

“Of course I meant it, Schatje” he said quietly, his voice soft and reassuring.

He reached one hand up, gently stroking her cheek.

“You’re the woman I love, Ariel,” he repeated firmly, as if trying to hammer the point home.She couldn’t believe it. It was jsut…

It was everything she had ever wanted right there for her taking.

“Good,” she whispered. “Because we really took long enough and I love you too.”Max's expression softened as he heard her words, a slow smile spreading across his face.

He couldn't help but feel a wave of relief wash over him as she confirmed her feelings for him.

He pulled her closer, holding her tightly against him.

"We really did take long enough, didn't we?" he murmured, his voice filled with amused affection.

He ran his fingers gently through her hair, his touch gentle and tender.“Only five years,” she joked.

Max chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Right," he said with a grin. "Only five short years."

He pretended to sound annoyed, but the amused sparkle in his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

He pulled her even closer, their bodies now pressed fully against each other.

"We really are idiots, aren't we?" he teased, his lips grazing her forehead.She hummed her agreement, tipping up her face.

“Don’t make me ask,” she requested softly.Max chuckled softly, sensing her unspoken plea.

He knew exactly what she wanted, and he was more than happy to oblige.

He cupped her chin gently, tilting her face up towards his.

"You don't have to ask," he murmured, his voice low and husky.

Without further ado, he lowered his head and captured her lips in a soft, tender kiss.

Ariel melted into the kiss, her body molding against Max's.

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celestie0 · 3 months ago

Text

hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

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bahrtofane · 11 months ago

Text

about time

things have always been easy with trent, attached to the hip since you could remember. your other half, his biggest supporter. things were bound to turn romantic no? everyone was rooting for it, secretly you always were too.

your first date as a couple goes more or less how you planned, awkward and full of teasing.

word count : 3.1K+

watch it : mild jealousy, cuties, fluff fluff, kinda domestic near the end?

—--

“eat your food."

you squint, "what the hell else am i doing, you eat your food."

he scoffs, "im literally half way done with my plate."

"it's literally not even a proper portion of course you're almost done." you point at his tiny little section of steak on about a tablespoon of mash potatoes.

he waves you off and makes a comment about the "liberty of a kitchen."

you ignore this and take another bite of whatever the hell you ordered. you don't remember. you were too busy trying not to focus too much on the man in front of you. the all black outfit is insanity, you know he only went for it because you told him ages ago all black looks the best on him. and now here you are. suffering

you just nodded to whatever the waitress was saying. though she could have done with less ogglying at your date. your trent.

you take pride in knowing your his go to, his best friend, his #1. you've been by his side longer than you can remember being without. he's your other half in every sense. before the fame and money, lavish life and dwindling time. he's always been yours somehow.

maybe you should've known at some point that feelings were bound to be brewing.

everyone and their mother had told you. hell, even your own mother had told you so. but you waved them off. he's my friend, no trent is my best friend, ew no that would be so weird, i can't even stand hin on a good day, he's annoying, nope just friends.

now look at you. seated across from each other, his sleeves rolled up while you eat in candle light. the dark blue drapery of the establishment makes this feel way more intimate than needed. and the chandeliers that hang over your head are enough to make you stare in wonder.

his sharp features almost soften like this, tucked away in a far corner away from prodding eyes and unnecessary media attention. where it's only the two of you in your little bubble, and the soft live piano that travels from the main foye. you enjoy this, but mainly you enjoy him.

you noticed he cleaned up his facial hair for this, it makes your heart melt. the silver jewelry that shines on his golden skin is a mirror of the silver that drapes across you. he told you to wear silver. the maniac. he planned this all the way down to the damn jewelry.

(the both of you are matching in general, which makes you feel something closer to insanity, it gives you a thrill when people’s gazes wash over the two of you and they can so easily tell you are here together. for each other. the stares you got while walking in don't go unforgotten.)

he's the one who dragged you to this restaurant, one much more fancy that you care for. any establishment that calls for floor length dresses to eat is above you, but he insisted. even taking time to tell you how stunning you looked on the way here. your cheeks were on fire the whole time you tried to come up with a counter, failing miserably and just telling him he looked handsome too.

what a gentleman, driving you here and keeping a hand on yours the whole time. you were sweating the whole time. this whole thing is new to you. but you try not to explode while you sit across from him, sipping on your water to avoid eye contact.

trent pretends to suddenly be very interested in the silverware, but you don't miss the way his gaze still manages to shift over to you, landing somewhere between your eyes and lips.

you sigh loudly, your appetite disappearing while you push your plate in front of you.

"do not even start." he warns, fork raised and pointed at you.

"i didn't even do anything ! what's with you tonight. "

"could ask you the same thing," he mumbles between mouthfuls of his steak, "you're being, very weird."

"im on a dinner date with you how else do you want me to act."

he coughs awkwardly at this, "i don't know ! normally. you haven't made fun of my shoes yet. where's the old grouchy evil and conniving friend i know. you're too, " he waves his fork in the air trying to find the right word, "civil."

you snort, "that's a mouthful. i don't know this whole dynamic shift is taking a while to get used to, " you shrug.

"we need to stop saying i don't know so often." he sighs, rubbing his eyes aggressively.

you choose to ignore that bit, "and i need to be civil in public or your adoring fans might have my head."

he rolls his eyes, "that's a stretch."

you wave him off with a hand, "you never know. crazy people do crazy things."

he looks at you fondly at this, giving you one of his signature smiles, you look away and change the subject as fast as you can think. you don't need weak knees in a high end establishment.

"you know i would've been just fine with takeout and a movie." you mumble softly.

he gives you a soft look " i know, but i wanted to make it special. take you out somewhere nice for a change. we never do that."

"you're not going to let me pay are you?" you muse.

he gives you a look, "im offended you even brought that up. i hope you know you're never going to be paying for things ever again right."

"and i hope you know i'm going to fight you over it the whole way through."

he finds this amusing, "yeah yeah yeah shut up and eat your food, i think my socks are sliding off my foot."

"i don't want to hear about your sweaty foot while i eat trent, gross." you fake gag.

"cry about it." he dead pans.

you narrow your eyes at him, "i'm going to talk about the pimple i popped on my shoulder, in great detail. is that what you want?"

"ew gross hell no. no more socks or feet geez." he scoffs.

you cackle, "problem solved then."

he rolls his eyes but goes back to eating anyway, cutting his steak with way too much force than necessary.

you on the other hand have to play tug of war with the fabric of your dress in order to keep it where you want it.

"you want to leave don't you?" he comments.

"that obvious?" he nods, "yep," popping the p.

"i don't want it to seem like I'm ungrateful for the effort or anything, because i swear it's not like that. i'm happy to be with you regardless and yeah. we don't have to leave." you try to explain.

as much as you enjoy spending time with him this isn't your scene. you're aching to go home, and so are you poor ankles. these heels can only be worn for so long and they are coming up on their expiration date for the night. maybe trent can help take them- no fuck. bad. bad bad. this is a dinner, you're at dinner be civil.

trent seems to be none the wiser as his attention remains on you.

"why would we stay if you don't want to ?" he looks at you confused, brows drawn together, arm propped up against the table while he waits for an explanation.

"because you're the one who wanted to come here?" "so? if you wanna go home then we'll go home."

home. oh. he's starting to refer to his house as home. for the both of you. that does something to you, you're almost dizzy. god how can one person be so sweet.

"we can finish up and head home? i really don't mind." you suggest.

he hums at this, "alright then. we’re stopping by the chinese place you like so much, you didn't even eat. "

"to be fair, the portions are the size of my pinkie and i think they took too much creative liberty in the kitchen." you wrinkle your nose.

he giggles, that shy little spurt of laughter, the one you love so much and always try to coax out of him, "i forget the flavors can be uh, adventurous with most of their dishes. "

you chuckle, "definitely adventurous."

he flags down the waitress from earlier who bats her eyelashes one too many times at him while you roll your eyes. he gives you a glare while he pays, before you can open your mouth. while you get up, dusting your dress down, he presses you flush to him, effectively shutting down any advances. you can't help but grin at the little act. even if your skin is on fire from the contact.

your lead out the back by one of the valets to avoid the busy main section and the endless cameras that wait for you from the front.

you step out to a colder night than you expected, rubbing your arms in a futile attempt to warm yourself up. the valet steps away to retrieve his car while you shiver harder than a skeleton animatronic in a halloween pop up store.

trent notices, coming up behind you to wrap both arms around your waist, pulling you close.

"cold?" he has the nerve to ask, flush against you and the damn dress that clings against your skin, his breath tickles your ear while you lick your lips nervously. his arms are much more muscular up close. the whole of him is, you can feel the efforts of his training as they hold you. good lord you're going to lose your mind. and the chest you're pressed up against? do not.

"a little." you whisper back, afraid to say much more.

he hums, rubbing your arms for you, sending goosebumps all the way down your spine, and he has the audacity to chuckle at your reaction.

"cars gonna be here soon."

you can only nod dumbly.

he unlatches when the car comes into view. thanking the man with a clap on shoulder, almost like an old friend, and a generous tip.

he opens the door for you, holding his arm out to help you balance, sweet of him.

you duck inside while he says his last thanks and goodbyes to the valet, turning on the heat first thing when he gets inside.

the drive is silent, not much to talk about after you confessed your love to each other just days before.

you could almost laugh at the complete 180 from this week to the last. youre so so glad it ended up this way nonetheless. you don't think you could handle another second suffering in silence.

how it all went down makes you cry in full honesty. it was an argument. over fucking instagram. you were bitching about the girls who are on his dick and he called you over protective and you defended yourself because duh. that somehow had spiraled into how he's insane, and then your relationship. and then you stormed out, don't ask, you don't remember.

he tracked you down at your place with flowers as an apology and you just lost it, because what kind of friend gets flowers and calls in just platonic?

lucky for the both of you it wasnt platonic, not to him, not to you.

he confessed first, that you were more important to him than any of the women he follows combined and so much more. you're his everything can't you see that? he loves you, in every sense. he hates seeing you upset so please, don't cry.

you kissed him, slow and hesitant while he broke out in giggles.

"does that mean what i think it does ?" he had whispered against your lips.

you nodded, shy and tender.

"i need to hear it. please, say it." breathless, at the cusp of losing his grip on everything.

"i love you trent, more than i think i can explain. you are my other half yeah? my everything."

and so here you are, watching the shapes of the city breeze past you as the gps guides you to your beloved chinese take out. you can almost taste the noodles you're so ready for it you're starving.

a hand rests on your thigh, softly tracing shapes the rest of the way there and you hide a smile. you don't think you'll ever get used to any of this new found affection. things you once only day dreamed of having now right in front of you.

you're drowsy by the time you pull into the familiar parking lot. you giggle at just how ridiculous the two of you look. stepping out of a probably hundred thousand dollar car, if not more. dressed like you're going to the ballon d'or. all while walking into a quiet little family own take out spot.

trent takes your hand again, while you fight to bunch up your dress to get over the obnoxious curve.

he fights a smile while locking the car behind you.

"you try getting over this mountain in heels and this long ass dress i dare you." you hiss.

he snorts but keeps his mouth shut as you inside the familiar space. sighing in glee.

the kind older woman who always takes your orders doesn't bat an eye at your dress, but welcomes you with a warm hug.

“the usual?” she beams, even at this time of night. cheery as ever.

“yes please !”

she smiles, getting to work making your order while you drum against your thigh. bad habit.

you’re very thankful it’s as late as it is, the place is dead empty. a little safe haven.

you reach into your purse but mr “i’ll pay for it all” stops you.

you tsk, “come on this is my spot. i want to tip her well. let me at least have this after that fancy meal.”

“i said i would pay,” he states firmly.

“i know, but paying here is special to me. and i want it to come from my hand. she deserves it after all the kindness she’s shown to me over the years.” you gesture to her wrapping up your boxes.

you remember when you used to be a student low on cash, she would always fill your plate with double of everything or just give you the next size up, and extra dessert, free drink. the little things, life is all about the little things.

he sighs, “fine fine. i won’t take this away from you. “

you smile, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. he waits for you on the side while you go up to the counter.

she smiles at you knowingly, “finally made a move on that one huh?”

you blush, “we both made moves and things worked out well. “

she grins, “finally. i thought it would never happen, you know. maybe i’ll get to see your kids too huh?”

you chuckle, kids with trent huh. not a bad idea, “maybe you will.” you sigh fondly. handing her the money.

you hand a few boxes to trent and motion to the door before she catches on. but it’s a little late.

you sneak out of there while she’s yelling at you to take your change, “keep it ! it’s all for you !!” you shout back. giggling while you and trent make your escape.

the ride to his house is filled with laughter and you don’t ever remember being happier.

its all giggles and shy smiles as he leads you up to his home, hand in hand while you race up the steps and make a dash for the elevator. the door man gives you too a look but doesn’t comment, yet. you know he will sooner or later but you don’t care.

the take out boxes are split in between the two of you as you hold them snug against your chest. humming softly as the elevator opens.

the ride up is filled with soft teasing, and more compliments.

"im serious!" he shoves you gently, "you look, incredible."

your face burns with enough heat to power an oven, his words do a number on you and all you want is to hear them over and over. but you don't say this.

"you look so handsome trent." is all you find to reply back.

a shy smile is what you get in return as the elevator opens. the walk is familiar but your feet are making it feel much longer than needed.

he opens the door and you dont waste a second collapsing on his couch, groaning at the pressure finally being off your feet. he takes the boxes from your hands and sets them on the living room table, kicking his shoes off somewhere as he organizes them just how you like.

"eat first then change?" he takes a seat next to you.

you shake your head, "don't wanna ruin the dress."

"alright," he nods

you attempt to get up but your feet are swollen by the looks of it and you could cry at the though of taking another step in these damned heels.

you reach over carefully to begin the effort of getting them of you but holy fuck is it taking much longer than needed.

"you're taking so long," he groans, scooting down to raise right ankle to rest gently in his knee, hands working slowly.

you sigh in sweet sweet relief when the intricate lacing finally comes undone and your foot can breathe. he does the same to the left, bringing it up to rest against your right.

your head falls back against the couch cushions, eyes closed and relaxed. it gives you a moment to really appreciate it all. to appreciate him.

you crack your eyes open when he gives your leg a gentle tap, all done.

you swing your feet back to the ground, scooting up closer to him. it's a beat of silence where he watches you, wait for your move. and you press gentle kisses on both cheeks, then nose, one on his forehead, and finally his lips.

he can't keep his hands to himself at the end, a hand finds your waist, tugging you closer to him, impossibly close. the other cups your cheek gently.

you won't part till you run out of air, panting gently against each other's skin.

"thank you." you mumble against his lips.

he hums, "anything for you. you know what."

you could reach the clouds like this, could reach the stars.

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander x you #trent alexander imagines #trent x reader #trent alexander arnold #taa x reader #taa imagines #taa66 #taa #taa x you #trent alexander oneshot #liverpool fc #football fanfic #bahr footy #footy fic #footballer fic

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ivysangel · 11 months ago

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Okay but a threesome with Dick and Jason. what would that be like? Are they competing to see who makes you come harder? Does each try to out do the other because he’s secretly jealous? Are they gonna Eiffel Tower? Is one really sweet while the other is being aggressive and rough? I need opinions.

-🧸

honey i am so so so so so sorry. this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and i hope you're still around to see it! i already wrote a lil smth smth about this a while ago here but allow me to elaborate.

i think the dynamic can get pretty crazy because dick can get wayyy nasty; not to say jason doesn't either, but i don't think jason would get crazy nasty in front of dick. dick's there to overstimulate you, tease you, play around with you, and bring you to the edge and back and then over, and jason's there to comfort you through it. i think they both could be "he talks you through it," guys, but in this specific scenario, i think it would be jason who sweet talks you, whispers in your ear, tells you you're doing so good for them, and quiets you down when you get too loud. i don't really know how to explain it, but he'd be the comforting presence out of the two of them, not even taking a submissive role or anything, just not as actively winding you up as much as dick.

dick, a menace as always, treats it like a game. how many times can he make you cum before you're begging for a break, and how many different ways can he make it happen. i think he'd be like that on a normal day, too, but i feel like it's very amplified in this situation because however this threesome happens, it's a very tense and intimate affair, out of character for both of them and, therefore everything about it is just different (?) i can't even think of a good way to explain it other than the next morning you're all kinda like woah. lost all inhibition the night before and don't really know how to go back to the way things were. he's quick to get nasty; he's the one eating you out while jason is kissing your neck and lightly grazing your skin, touching and squeezing, etc. the combination of both of them is really just insane, and both of their actions, in tandem, are what makes it so much more intense.

i do think they could be eiffel tower guys, but idk, i think (and walk with me here)…double penetration might be the way they go. like, you can't say, "dick grayson is an ass man," without admitting that he'd probably be into anal, so boom. and if your pussy is open, then yeah, ofc jasons taking it; it just makes sense TO ME. it's definitely a lot and not for the faint of heart, and you have to hold onto one (or both) of them while you get used to the sensation and while they find a nice rhythm, so it feels good for all three of you. during this part, the talking might die down just because you're all so in the moment; it's definitely out of character for dick because he's a D1 yapper, but it's cool cuz he was dirty talking so much during the foreplay, like lifting his head from between your legs just to look you in the eye and say something nasty.

i'm also ngl i could see the roles reversed where jason is eating you out or fingering you, and dick is the one whispering crazy shit in your ear. i could see it working both ways, but the first more so.

when i tell you this would be probably the best orgasm you've ever had, i mean that. there's just so much that went into it that there's really no way you aren't gasping for air and clutching your chest when it's over. damn near passing out, and they gotta shake you a little to make sure you're still kicking. and it's not even really over because if you show any semblance of energy after, they might try to go another round i fear.

#★ 🧸 ★#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd smut #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson smut #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hoot smut #nightwing x reader #nightwing x you #nightwing smut #jason todd lover #dick grayson lover

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eddieandbird · 7 months ago

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One More Request —

A reimagining of Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington’s first kiss.

A/N: happy Bridgerton day everyone!! I am still fully on colin and pen brainrot, so enjoy my take on this scene! Even if you don’t watch Bridgerton, I still think it’s a super cute concept -bird

tags/warnings: fluff | 2.2k words | f!reader | love realization

———

As the sun dipped down in the Hawkins’ sky, you gently dropped another cardboard box into Eddie’s van with the rest of your belongings you’d be taking with you to college.

“Okay, I think that’s the last of it,” You grunted, shutting the door.

“Alrighty Miss Indiana State. Are you ready for big girl school?” Eddie chuckled, leaning his back against the car.

“Almost,” You said with an exaggerated exhale. “I have one more request,”

“Oh boy. It’s that bad huh?” Eddie had a wry smile. “Okay, what is it? I’ll try my best not to laugh,”

You gave a humorless chuckle “Oh, I think that’ll kind of be hard,”

Eddie’s eyes widened for just a moment as if to say ‘oh my god’ then he spoke up “Well come on, don’t make me nervous. Out with it, kid,”

“I don’t know, I’m having second thoughts now,” You bit your thumb nail.

Eddie could see you were serious. He had hoped you were just pulling his leg, so he could laugh it off. But of course, you weren't. He peeled his back off the van so he could face you.

“Come on, spit it out. I promise I won't laugh that much,” He grinned, trying to lift your spirits.

You covered your face in your hands for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“Will you kiss me?” You shut your eyes tight, terrified to witness his reaction.

Eddie shook his head and waved his hand in confusion “Excuse me? What in the hell-“

“Eddie, I don’t know how to say this, but I leave for college in a couple of days and I still never had my first kiss. And there’s no way I am letting my over-prepared, always anxious self go to college; the land of hookups and parties, without having my first kiss!” You explained so quickly that you had to pause to breathe.

Eddie looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back at you with a bewildered expression, “You sure you're not just messing with me now?” He smirked then nudged your shoulder.

When you didn’t laugh back, he paused, and looked down again with a blank stare, as if he was putting the pieces together in his head, “Oh you’re serious aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I know it sounds totally insane, but it’s kinda important to me. I wanted to do it with someone I really trust,” Your shoulders slumped forward a bit in embarrassment. You knew you were throwing a curveball at Eddie with this request, but he was one of your best friends. It made better sense in your head.

Eddie shook his head, stammering “But I’m not your- I mean we’re not-“

“No! No, please it’s not like that, it doesn’t have to mean anything or be amazing or whatever! I just really want to do it,” You gulped, your thumbs toying with the cuffs of your sweater.

Eddie was still trying to wrap his head around the whole thing. Your reasoning was rational, you wanted your first kiss to mean something rather than just some fling or a situation you were pressured into like most people. He couldn’t help but be impressed, you were such a perfectionist and you truly thought this through.

He sighed, looking at the ground with a cheeky grin, “Yeah alright. C’mere, I’ll do it,” He jokingly scoffed.

You let out all the air you were holding in your lungs when he said yes.

“Oh thank god. I thought I was about to be humiliated,” A nervous giggle was woven into your words.

“Okay do we just do this here or-“ You suddenly realized you did not know what else to do.

A part of you didn’t think you’d get this far, but you were damn proud you did. Unfortunately, the lack of preparation for this part left you a bit frazzled. Eddie chuckled, finding your plan endearing. He was a little nervous himself, not even considering the possibility that you would ever ask him this favor.

“Yeah here is fine, unless you wanted it out in some field of wildflowers and a sunset or something,” He said, grinning wickedly. “Just get closer,” He motioned toward him.

You playfully scoffed as you leaned in, trying not to roll your eyes at his implication. A romantic atmosphere was the least of your worries.

“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me,” You mumbled, stepping forward and shifting your gaze upward to meet Eddie’s.

“I said I wouldn’t laugh, I never said I wouldn’t tease you,” Eddie countered. He swung his arm around your hip, pulling you even closer.

You let out a soft gasp as he grabbed you. You cleared your throat.

“Fine, whatever, just tell me what to do first,” You said, feigning impatience.

“Don’t get an attitude with me,” Eddie said with a smirk.

He was enjoying this power that he suddenly had over you. He’d never seen you this nervous before. He was used to you having a witty comeback or retort to counter anything and everything he said, but you were flustered and vulnerable in front of him.

He chuckled as you asked him what to do next, and he grabbed your other hip, so you were standing flush against him.

“Just relax,” He brought his face down closer to yours, your noses nearly touching.

You could hear a gulp clearly in your ears. You tried to relax your shoulders and empty your mind. Eddie then pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, so softly you barely felt it, as if it was a butterfly flapping its wings on you. He was unsatisfied at the quickness and subtly it had, so he decided to do it once more, this time with more enthusiasm.

You were in no state to refuse him. With your eyes closed, you were left to only feel; his breath that tickled your face and his lips that were pillow-soft on yours. He was surprised at how willing you were underneath his touch. Normally you were strong-willed and stubborn. But now, you were soft and quiet. His mouth moved against yours, molding his lips to yours perfectly. His breathing grew stronger as he kissed you, forcefully exhaling through his nostrils.

Eddie pulled back after the second kiss, his eyes slowly fluttering open. It was more of a real kiss, a proper one. To his surprise, he found himself coming undone at the feeling and the thought of you. The kiss completely morphed his view of you as just another person he had grown up knowing and caring for, to someone he didn’t want to let go of.

Eddie’s emotions slowly started to unravel. He always pushed away these thoughts of you or rationalized them in his head. But now, as he had you pinned against the car, his chest against yours, and his fingers tangled in your hair, he was struggling to keep his feelings in check.

You both stared at each other for a moment in silence, standing there frozen in each other’s arms. You were the first to pull away. It shocked you because it actually happened, but also because you enjoyed it. Your body reacted in ways you never experienced before. Your skin was flushed and your heart pounded harshly against your ribs. Fight or flight kicked in, and you decided you had to flee.

“I should go. It’s late and mom’s expecting me to be there for dinner,” You sputtered, halting the silence. “Thank you so much for um… doing all this,”

You gave Eddie one more quick hug before storming off inside your home.

“Oh shit…” Eddie muttered to himself.

He realized then and there he had feelings for you. This sent him into a spiral as he had his back pressed to his van with his chest heaving. You were leaving for college soon and he needed to make a move before he lost you forever.

~~~

Eddie came to see you around the same time the next day. He sheepishly rang the doorbell, then shoved his hands back in his pockets. You opened the door looking at him puzzled.

“Eddie? What are you doing here? We don’t have to get on the road for another ten hours,” You asked, stepping out and closing your front door.

“Hey, yeah, I know. I just have something a little urgent I gotta tell you. Can we go sit in the van?” He pointed with a head nod. He looked worried. You followed him to the back of his opened van, taking a seat beside him.

“Everything okay?” You asked, attempting to decipher his pained look.

Eddie was trying his absolute hardest to hold back his anxiety, but he knew you could see right through him. His hands were shoved in his pockets to stop himself from fidgeting, and he was rocking back and forth on his feet awkwardly. He didn’t know how to word his thoughts at that moment.

Once he was seated with you in the back of the van, he closed the door for some privacy. He was looking down at the ground, avoiding eye contact, before he finally spoke up.

Eddie took a deep breath before speaking, still avoiding eye contact with you. “Yeah, sort of. There’s just something I really need to tell you before we leave tomorrow.”

His mind was racing as he tried to put his thoughts together. How was he going to explain his newly found feelings to his closest friend?

“Oh? Well, I’m sure I don’t gotta remind you that you can tell me anything. What’s going on?” You asked curiously, but light-hearted, hoping to alleviate his anxiety over the conversation.

You tried not to read too much into his expressions, but you noticed that his demeanor was a whole lot like yours from the night before. Eddie chuckled slightly at your words, knowing how much truth there was behind them. You were right, you were his best friend. And he could tell you anything. That also scared him, because what he needed to tell you just so happened to be something he didn’t even fully process yet. He finally looked up at you and met your eyes, but for a split second before looking away again.

He let out a shaky breath, “Yeah I know you’re my best friend, which is why I feel like I should tell you this before you leave tomorrow. I don’t want you to go away thinking I couldn’t man up and tell you my true feelings.”

“True feelings?” You repeated, your voice trembling as you were piecing together what he was trying to say.

Once you did your mouth hung open and your eyes rapidly blinked in shock. You placed a hand on his knee, keeping his attention on you.

“Eddie, what exactly are you trying to say?”

He finally looked up at you and held your eye contact for a couple of seconds.

“God, this is even more embarrassing to say than you asking me to kiss you,” He muttered.

He looked back down to your hand on his knee and he placed his on top of it. “I think I have feelings for you.”

With your predictions confirmed, you were completely beside yourself. You shook your head in confusion.

“I thought- but we’re friends-” You said instinctively.

Eddie saw your stammering and became even more nervous. “I know. I know we were totally in agreement and complete understanding yesterday before that kiss happened, but it made me realize so much and I-“

You interrupted him by cupping his cheek, bringing him into a kiss that matched last night’s urgency. This time you were in control. Your lack of experience or confidence mattered very little. You poured your feelings, all the unspoken affection you had for him finally manifesting in this one action.

“I feel the same. I wanna be more than friends too,” You confessed quietly as you pulled away.

When you leaned in to kiss him, Eddie felt the tension melt away. Suddenly all his nervous energy faded away as your lips touched his. He let out a breathless gasp as you pulled away and then his mind processed what you had said. A grin crept onto his face at your words.

“Yeah? You really mean it?” He asked, bringing a hand to your cheek and looking into your eyes.

Then his smile fell again as he realized the circumstances. “But what about when you leave for college?”

You refused to let school get in between each other. This would not be the end.

“I’m only an hour away,” You said starry-eyed as you brushed your thumb over his cheek. “We’ll make trips out to each other and I’ll be home for every semester break,”

Your tendency to over-plan was working its magic once again. Your heart and mind were racing as you felt his stubble underneath your fingertips.

“I promise I’ll call you every night after class is over and write you cheesy letters all the time,” Your voice was shaky but full of hope. “What do you say, Eddie?”

He was always so in awe of your determination, and how it could transform a problem into a plan. He smiled at your list of promises and ideas, knowing deep down that you always managed to get what you wanted or find a way to make it work. He loved that about you.

“I say you’re a lunatic for wanting to have a long-distance thing with me. But, I don’t care. I like the sound of all that,” Eddie shook his head before bringing himself to kiss you.

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff

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sk3tch404 · 5 months ago

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Yandere Donnie Darko Hcs

A/n: I finally came around to watching Donnie Darko while I was styling my hair this morning. It was so good and omgg HIS CHARACTER!!! Love it 💜 What he voices in where he rebels against authority resonates with me in the most honest and straight up sense, it's crazy.

CW: Characterizing of psychosis without research (I am in no way claiming this is how individuals who suffer some psychosis or with schizophrenic symptoms act or feel like. This is simply a work of fiction and how I see Donnie's mental state affect the scenario), Donnie is actually very tame here except for his obvious criminal record and acts of violence, and YALL HES A MENTALLY ILL TEENAGE BOY so he's a lowkey soft okay. Y'all see him with Gretchen? So caring and passionate ugh, love him sm. <33 I try to write as close to canon as possible, but sometimes that leads to really soft yans and I kind of doubt my writing. Despite that. I like to think that not all yanderes need to be possessive killing machines in order to fit into the troupe. Everyone's got their own way of dealing with obsession, and so I think I did decently with this one lol.

Proof read a few times, so sorry for wordy/run on sentences and possible wonky grammar.

I feel like Donnie is very observant and patient with his darling. He's quite analytical for a teenage boy which leads him to take time to consider the variables that weigh within your possible relationship.

Donnie is still an awkward kid, so dont be surprised when you accidentally find him staring at you for a considerable period of time in class. In school, he doesn't approach you, seeing as the setting is already suffocating enough. He'd try to catch you after school or when you two have a little bit of privacy.

He's kinda shy and clumsy at first glance--- too talkative in his speech and self-aware of his minor fuck ups. Over time, he'll be more open to what he wants with you. Donnie might not really understand how to handle love and all of its complexities, but hell try really hard to make it work.

Yeah, y'all saw how fast he dived in for that kiss in the film?... Embarrassing, but it's true that he's quite excited to show his affection for you. He'll be "so chill with it," and he is to an extent--- not too clingy at all--- but when he's around he gives you guard dog privileges. Stays at your side and defends you from any brain rotting comments made from the guys around the neighborhood. Donnie isn't much of a fighter, but he's damn well capable of planning and executing a crime if it calls for it. One count of arson, another unaccounted for, severe property damage, and murder? Don't doubt it for one second that he won't consider further acts in the future to come.

His psychosis affects him directly when it comes to you--- as it also does with most things. He already feels so shitty with how things are going in his life, Frank voicing the many thoughts he has about you day to day stresses him further. Sometimes Donnie is scared Frank will convince him to hurt you as the countdown progresses. Despite that fear, he can't keep away from you.

This distress causes Donnie to rebel more often. As he spirals down the rabbit hole Frank keeps digging for him, the anxiety that follows with what will happen to you once the world ends lingers late at night in his bed.

Donnie's main love language is quality time. He walks with you from school and chills with you pretty much wherever. He's pretty book-smart, so he'll pitch in with your projects and homework assignments. His parents don't really seem like they care what he does most of the time, so if he's given the chance, he'll crash at your place for a few before they think he's off sleepwalking or some shit.

Donnie already knows he's slipping off the rails, placebo medication or not, Frank stays to stir the pot. He's almost scared, scared to death that you'll think he's an insane lunatic and he'll scare you off. But at the same time, why be scared if it's the truth? He has evidence, the book, and his own visions. That anxiety doesn't go away when he rambles on about the six-foot-tall bunny rabbit and how that thing has led him to the method of time travel.

You're just left there dumb founded as he stares on at you with that deadpanned look. Too late to back out now. World's ending and you don't got a boyfriend. Well, you got Donnie... and Frank's there too sometimes, but either way, you're all each other's got. You don't want to be alone do you? Donnie knows he doesn't.

He trusts you more than anyone else. Yeah he's on meds, and sure he's loony, but everyone knows that already; not that they seemed to care too much anyway. He feels like he can just exist with you around. All that pent up frustration with the looming guilt of his actions festering inside can be washed out like waves on a cold shore. Of course, it's not a cure-all, but it's damn nice compared to the bone headed friends he got and the tense dinner table back at home.

He has scratch paper in his drawers that are just filled with messy sketches of you. Not sure if he'd be the type to use sketchbooks, but he is pretty organized in his own room. Donnie just finds you so easy and beautiful to draw. Art block has nothing on this boy. He hates it when his sisters barge into his room and see any unfinished piece of you lying around. They tease him so bad about it, he wishes they'd just leave him alone.

"Ooo, is this the girl you're always wasting your time with?"

"No, gimme it. It's none of your business, and get out of my room."

"Geez, fine. Not like that's the freakiest thing you got in here anyway."

Donnie wouldn't be the extreme stalking type, but if he caught a glance of you, he wouldn't be able to look away. He'd also take into account what your daily patterns are as well as your likes and dislikes. He notices your little habits like if you constantly apply too much pressure to your mechanical pencil, making your lead break. He's always have had a passive opinion on the school uniform, but you made it look good, great even. Donnie likes it even more seeing you in street wear. He takes note on your style and even thinks of taking some inspiration from it to feel closer to you.

He's sensitive in places a teenager would be in most. He's irritable and closed off much of the time, even to you if it gets bad enough. Of course, it's not your fault usually. It only makes sense to be defensive in the case of anything he may perceive as a threat, even if that means any possibility of you breaking his heart.

Donnie may be a bit shy in his advances, but what he isn't is hesitant. He's quite bold in his thoughts and feelings. While he is afraid of your judgement in particular, he doesn't mind doing many things in front of you. Your collar is crooked, so let him just fix it up real quick. Talk about something that's got him thinking? He's letting his thoughts pour out like it's happy hour. He sees no issue in doing what he wants to, so if you're feeling unsure or nervous about something, he'll be the one to do it for you. Not many questions asked unless it's got his serious attention.

Kisses are passionate and deep. (Tbh when I first watched the movie I was like, "DAMN dont eat her face- shit.") I dont know if Donnie has had previous experience or not, but he's definitely got the enthusiasm. He tries to match your rhythm if you seem to have trouble following. Not too much tongue, but best believe he's devouring your lips like it's the last 6 hours in the universe. His hands are roaming around your body, feeling the dips and curves so cautiously because Jesus, you're just rocking his fucking world. If you tell him to slow down, he will. Donnie never wants to force you to do anything you wouldn't want to.

Words of affirmation aren't really a thing for him. If he says something to you, it was probably on his mind anyway. If you say "I love you" to him, he'd be almost stunned but wouldn't have a problem reciprocating that energy. He just felt like that connection between you two was already clear enough. No need to say it so directly. Although, it's nice. He really loves and cares for you. Would take a bullet for you--- cross his heart till he dies, all that sappy shit.

If you reject him, let's just say Frank and Donnie will be speaking more often. It pushes him off the edge. Frank isn't in Donnie's head just to do evil shit, but it's not like his presence doesn't perpetuate Donnie's behavior further. He wouldn't go on a killing spree or anything excessively violent like that. He'd be hyper-focused on the time travel aspect of his situation and become more forceful in his methods. He'd demand answers to make sense of all of it. To cope with the fact you didn't want him like how he needed you. Why didn't you like him enough? What didn't he do? Actually, what did he do? His mind feels like its on the brink of breaking as he tries to rationalize all the negativity in his life. He's already done too much, his world feels like it's collapsing in on itself before the actual day could even come. You were a majority of that world, and now it's just broken.

Donnie is so distraught and confused about his adolescent experiences, he almost doesn't know what to do. The only thing to do from then on is to focus on the countdown. Time travel, and how to fix it all. Otherwise, not only would he be left alone, but you would be too. Donnie wouldn't want that for you, not ever. Even with all the pain and frustration stowed away inside his still beating heart, he would never wish to hurt you; one of the only people on Earth who didn't suck so much as everyone else did.

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kanmom51 · 7 months ago

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I actually have a crazy theory...

I have already sent this ask as the response to someone else’s thoughts, but then I thought about it and I REALLY wanted to know your opinion about this.

I think Jikook by the beginning of last year didn't know they were enlisting together.

I think they obviously knew about buddy system but didn't actually think they would need to use it. Because it's not really done by idols, and also they both could've gone to safer and easier stations, where they could have more freedom.

BUT THEN Jimin started working intensely on his album and JK started acting out (like having drunken lives), and it became VERY CLEAR that they would not be able to do 18 months apart.

I mean do you remember, that at this time JK said himself that he was not working on anything. And I think the plan was for Jimin to go first (just like a lot of us thought he would) and for JK to have more time for promo alone, when others are gone (I’m pretty sure that HYBE definitely wanted for JK to have big solo debut apart from other members).

But then like I said the drunken lives happened and realization hit, that they have to apply for buddy system, that 18 months apart would be BAD for both of them.

And that's when HYBE (or whoever) made specific demands from JK. Like if he wanted to leave by the end of the year (and he had to for buddy system to work) he HAS TO do the album, and because there was no time to write it from scratch they got all the English songs. Also his schedule was extremely packed and difficult.

So I think that the travel show was something Jikook specifically done for themselves because JK's schedule was so insane that if not for that excuse they would not be able to hang out freely before the enlistment. (By the way am I the only one who thinks that we are getting the travel show only next year? And waiting for it now is kinda crazy?)

But again it's just my theory, mostly because HYBE doesn't feel (to me) like the company who would just let their artists do whatever they want. To me they are waaay more pragmatic than that, and if they decided to allow their stars to enlist together (something that isn't really done in idol culture), than they would make sure to get something in return. They worked JK very hard, and I think he took it because he had a specific goal (more like a person) in mind that he was willing to work for.

So, although we might be on the same wave with some of your thoughts, I don't fully agree with you.

I agree that they didn't know they would be enlisting together way back at the start of 2023.

I think that way back then they were still struggling with the realization that they will have to be enlisting. All the way back to the end of 2022, basically up to around the Busan concert, which was October 2022, they still held hope that some kind of arrangement could and would be found to allow for them not to enlist or to serve a shorter term. It was quite a conundrum for them, something I think most of them struggled with (and I say most because I do think that at least one of them did genuinely want to enlist) - on the one hand this is a life changing pretty scary thing (terrifying even - we saw how sad, and I will even say broken, JM was having to shave off his hair, and that was only a small part of it) they would have to do (joining the army is not a walk in the park, no pun intended), not to mention being in their prime, in the height of their success, having to part with the life they are accustomed to (professionally and personally), not being something they would necessarily want to do. And on the other hand you have that sense of commitment to the country and to their fellow Koreans, that have to face that same compulsory enlistment, adding the knowledge that not taking that path of enlistment could also come at a price. Like us, they knew that there were those that indeed believed they should be given an exemption, but at the same time many Koreans would have frowned upon it, and it's them that have to live among their people. Also, enlisting like any other SK young man would allow them more freedom in the future when it comes to voicing their opinions, as they had, like all others who had served their country fulfilling their duties. Criticisms of anything within a society you live in is easier to swallow when the person voicing said opinion is part of that society and enjoys not only the rights bestowed on those who live there, but has also fulfilled all required duties as well.

Long story short, end of 2022 the decision to enlist became a reality and Jin enlisting hit them all VERY hard. At that point I don't think they had a plan of enlistment just yet, although we do know from RM, for instance, that he was supposed to enlist with Hobi but ended up pushing back as he was busy working on his album and preferred not to lose the momentum.

And btw, hearing this from RM also teaches us that JM was never going to enlist so early on. And here I think our ways part when it comes to the continuation of your theory, because I do believe that JM's plan had ALWAYS been to stick around for JK's solo debut, whenever that would be. And I'll get back to it in a few...

JK was struggling start of 2023. What we got to see, starting with his lives in Feb 2023, him deleting his IG, was him pulling himself out of the pit he was in. Taking initiative and deleting his IG (which I will once again say was a big old F U to the company) and reaching out to us with his lives was JK becoming more active in getting better.

*Side note: I'm using the term getting better meaning pulling yourself out of a bad place you are in mentally (one that effects you physically as well).

Idk if starting the lives was a conscious decision on his part towards getting better, but I do believe that starting them was a key part in it.

Talking to us, sharing things with us, setting (at least trying to set) boundaries with his fans what is and is not acceptable on his part as an idol when it comes to fan behavior and interactions with him, doing it all in the most JK way, intelligently and respectfully.

JM was busy all the way from end of July 2023 through to the release of Face and until the end of his promotions. It's not that they weren't seeing each other or spending time together during this time. It's not that JM wasn't there for JK, as much as he could in the moment. It's very important to state this. But JK was struggling with everything. It's the hiatus, Jin's enlistment, their looming enlistment (the unknown of what will be with the two of them - separation for such a long time is something that both of them would find extremely hard to handle for so many reasons), the lack of direction, the lack of a structured timetable (JK is neuro divergent - there is zero doubt in my mind - if it's asd or adhd or a combination of the two, which in my mind is the most likely of them all). He was kind of lost and his anchor, JM, was not available in the way that he needed. Not JM's fault. Not JK's fault. It just was what it was, and JK was a little lost. It's natural for something like this to happen. I spoke about it quite a bit in my posts about his lives at the time. We saw RM was kind of lost for a while there too. The trick is to pick yourself up and pull yourself out of it (with help of others if necessary), and JK did, and JM was ecstatic to see him doing it. Those comments of his during JK's lives (we are talking about the lives during Feb-Mar 2023) were testimony to that.

Once again I can't seem to reign myself in and keep on point, lol.

So, where was I? Oh yes, they didn't know what will happen, but at the same time JM was not planning on enlisting earlier that year. Understand this: JM enlisting earlier would, to them, mean them being apart for not 18 months, but for 18 months plus. Plus the time between JM's enlistment and JK's enlistment. And plus the time from JM's discharge to JK's discharge. Even without JK's situation this was not something that they would want or agree on. Not to mention JK not only wanting JM around for his solo debut, but NEEDING him around for it. And it's not about being by his side 24/7, which he wasn't and he couldn't be. It's about being accessible. Being there to support him if he needed. Whenever he needed it. Being able to be with him for his first solo performance (this brings me close to another ask I received and am working on regarding JK's FIRST big solo performance). All this has to be within the limits of their glass closet (glass getting a little murky for their own liking since the end of 2021 all the way to the end of 2023), and the limits set by the powers of be (some of which JK very defiantly crossed). So yeah, JM was going to wait for JK's solo debut before enlisting.

As for enlisting together. That was something that was being assessed and in the works for several months. Something obviously kept quiet for good reason.

Was there a give and take with the company when it came to JK and the album? 100%. There were things he wanted, there were things they wanted, there were frogs that it being a first solo album he knew he would have to swallow.

Were some of these concessions given to allow the two more freedom, like allowing the 'travel show'? I do believe they were. Perhaps also prices paid (with Golden) for demands agreed upon in their new contracts. I can definitely see that happening.

The push for a full length album could be one of those, for example. JK was talking about a mini album even as late as mid July, and then it turned into a full length album. Could it have been the company pressuring him into it? Yes it could, as in the company wanting this. But JK is not one to cave in just because the company wants. So very possibly we had a bit of give and take going on here, and some of it most definitley would have had to do with allowances made for the two of them.

But at the same time I don't think it had anything to do with the joint enlistment. Not only don't I think that the company would have a say in it, legally or morally, but this wouldn't be something that either of them would stand for. So, in case I didn't make myself clear here, I will say it again - the company didn't use the possibility of joint enlistment as a tool to get something extra out of JK.

You talk about Hybe not being a company that will allow their artists to do as they wish. BTS belong to Big Hit, which is a subsidiary of Hybe. But Hybe would not have existed if not for BTS. BTS made BH what it is today and Hybe was built on their coat tails. And BTS, the members, they have enjoyed many freedoms within their company over the years. Not full freedom though. And Jikook, well they were allowed to be (while in other companies this was not allowed, couples forced apart or forced out). And not only were they allowed to be, but towards the end of 2020 there was movement towards normalizing their relationship, ear suck, hickey and all.

But then came Hybe and Hybe going public, and I knew the day that was announced that even though the members will get a huge payout this move will cost them freedoms they already had, because now there were shareholders and share prices to worry about, and when your band is the main bread winner for that company, well, as I mentioned, there is a price to pay. And they have been paying that price. The two of them for the 2 years prior to their enlistment. As long as they were under their old contracts they were bound by them. Which is why I feel like there will be changes coming when they are done with their MS and well into their new contracts. This will be freedom regarding their art (I think we can already see part of that with RM's new album) but also regarding their personal lives, in a sense of what they can or cannot show if they choose to. JK telling us he's human, telling us he loves us but he deserves to be happy, or even more needs to be happy to be able to create and perform and make us happy (you need to be especially dense if you don't understand that this also includes being in a relationship with another person, who may or may not be a member of his own band). This includes setting boundaries with their fans - yes they love them and feel indebted to them, but at the same time they need to stay in their own lane (I do think JK has been too nice at times setting these boundaries, while others like RM, Yoongi and Tae - a couple of times - were way blunter).

Once again, Hybe wouldn't have the right to 'allow' or 'disallow' them to enlist together. This would have been their decision and theirs alone. Hybe could talk about timing and what they would like to happen before or after, but not if it can or will happen. Hybe could like or dislike it, support it or not, but they would have no power over it. The military alone would have a say if to allow it or not, and at the end of the day we know how that one ended.

I also want to touch on another point.

Again.

Their choice to enlist together.

I've seen talk about Jikookers using the term NEED when it comes to the two of them - needing to be with one another to get through their military service, and I wanted to put in my two cents on this.

The way I think of it is that when people use the term need in that case it's not about saying that if they weren't allowed to enlist together they wouldn't have survived it. No. That isn't it. Not in my opinion, in any case.

These two young men are strong physically and mentally, and they would get through whatever was thrown their way (wouldn't be easy, I tell you that, but they would get through it). Chances are that if they wouldn't have gone down the path of enlisting together they could have landed a cushier placement, band perhaps, like NJ, who knows. But definitley the choice to do this together had a price tag to it, and their letters from Festa tell us as much as well (even though they obviously sugar coat it for us, but the sentiments are clear - it's hard).

So, they chose this. They knew this was going to be hard. A harder, more difficult, placement if they were to go down this path. And yet this was their choice!!

Why?

And here comes that NEED into play.

Yes, I do think that they needed this. They needed each other. They needed to not be separated for 18 months not knowing if and how often they could get to see each other or be together (maybe, if allowed, once in 3 months, and only if their units allowed the time off at the same time). They needed that person that they trusted and KNEW that would stand by their side, that would support them, be their rock, catch them when they fall, be by their side in their time of need, just like they always have been.

They are each other's PERSON. The one that would ALWAYS be there through good and bad.

They both put it down in words:

And JK

Shock, awe... I must be one of those delusional Jikookers that believe JK's lyrics were not describing his relationship with us, the fans. Another song written for the one person they love, yet given as a gift to Army.

And in his very subtle but intelligent way, he told us that himself:

"Even when I was working on the song, I really wanted to release it as a fan song".

Just like JM did, eh?

Would it be too hard to just say : "I wrote this song for my fans"? He chose not to, didn't he? Once again we have choices here.

I digress.

You could replace NEED with WANT, if you will. Same same in this case, imo. Seeing how hard they fought to find their way to this exact point.

The first, the only idols to ever do this!!

Bottom line:

To me, using the term NEED in this context is not about them not being able to make it otherwise, but more about a choice made to have that person they feel closest to, the person that has since forever been their emotional anchor, the person that lifted them up when they fell, the person that stood by them, cared for them, supported them when they were struggling. The person that KNEW them to the core and would be there by their side to get through this together with.

Each other.

#Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #Jimin #JM #JK #Jikook MS #Jikook enlisting together #Jikook are each other's somebody

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