#the three tryna communicate are important

[cgspirl]

happy 4/13 here's my SBURB death lol

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

I think it’s interesting that a particular refrain keeps appearing in Jon’s inner monologue about the Horn of Winter.

They’re not wearing skins, Jon realized. That’s hair. Shaggy pelts covered their bodies, thick below the waist, sparser above. The stink that came off them was choking, but perhaps that was the mammoths. And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth. He looked for great swords ten feet long, but saw only clubs. Most were just the limbs of dead trees, some still trailing shattered branches. A few had stone balls lashed to the ends to make colossal mauls. The song never says if the horn can put them back to sleep. [..] “So how did you come by your other names?” Jon asked. “Mance called you the Horn-Blower, didn’t he? Mead-king of Ruddy Hall, Husband to Bears, Father to Hosts?” It was the horn blowing he particularly wanted to hear about, but he dared not ask too plainly. And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth. Is that where they had come from, them and their mammoths? Had Mance Rayder found the Horn of Joramun, and given it to Tormund Thunderfist to blow?(Jon II, ASoS)

Lady Melisandre watched him rise. “FREE FOLK! Here stands your king of lies. And here is the horn he promised would bring down the Wall.” Two queen’s men brought forth the Horn of Joramun, black and banded with old gold, eight feet long from end to end. Runes were carved into the golden bands, the writing of the First Men. Joramun had died thousands of years ago, but Mance had found his grave beneath a glacier, high up in the Frostfangs. And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth. Ygritte had told Jon that Mance never found the horn. She lied, or else Mance kept it secret even from his own. (Jon III, ADWD)

Jon turned in his saddle, frowning. And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter and woke giants from the earth. That huge horn with its bands of old gold, incised with ancient runes … had Mance Rayder lied to him, or was Tormund lying now? If Mance’s horn was just a feint, where is the true horn? (Jon XII, ADWD)

Repeated phrases in a character’s inner monologue are always important to their development (e.g., “promise me, Ned” or “wherever whores go”). The refrain “And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth” is repeated four times in Jon’s. That may not seem like much, but then we get to Jon’s final chapter in ADWD:

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun howled again and gave Ser Patrek’s other arm a twist and pull. It tore loose from his shoulder with a spray of bright red blood. Like a child pulling petals off a daisy, thought Jon. “Leathers, talk to him, calm him. The Old Tongue, he understands the Old Tongue. Keep back, the rest of you. Put away your steel, we’re scaring him.” Couldn’t they see the giant had been cut? Jon had to put an end to this or more men would die. They had no idea of Wun Wun’s strength. A horn, I need a horn. He saw the glint of steel, turned toward it. “No blades!” he screamed. “Wick, put that knife …”

It’s a rather peculiar narrative choice to have Jon think about needing a horn to command a giant right before his death. Especially since the Horn of Winter’s very purpose is to wake (and potentially command) giants, whom Jon has been in communion with since ASoS.

The fandom at large believes the old, chipped warhorn in Sam’s possession might be the Horn of Winter. While that’s a great theory, I think there’s an important narrative distinction to make: the Horn of Winter exists squarely in Jon’s storyline. Though Sam’s POV has made callbacks to the warhorn, signaling that GRRM wants us to remember its existence, the Horn of Winter’s lore and purpose are explored exclusively in Jon’s chapters. Even when it appears in Sam’s narrative, it’s tied directly to Jon through their conversations. Sam’s warhorn may be a Chekhov’s gun, but resolution to the Horn of Winter must come through Jon’s arc. Its purpose has always resided with him, so he should be the one to blow it.

[my-castles-crumbling]

HIYA CAS ❤️ It’s wolfstar anon!!!!!! Remember me? Guess what? ME AND CLARA ARE DATING NOW! 

So turns out she’s had a massive crush on me for ages. Which, you know, seems obvious in hindsight. 

So imma just tell u what’s happened and then like- the adivce I need. Cool? 

SO BASICALLY I’ve been tryna keep outta my house over the summer cause my parents work from home and it’s not civilised, so I usually go out and chill with my mates. 

SO like two weeks ago (we’ve hung out a lot these are just the important ones okay?) I text Clara and ask if it’s cool for me to drop by cause it’s like 9am and she’s usually still asleep, but she texts back that she’s awake cause she’s got these awful period cramps (being a person with a uterus can fucking suck right?) so I go to her place, it’s past town so I pick up some of those like heat up pad thingys that stick to you cause she likes tho and said they were out and obviously snacks and then, because she’s in pain and i’m a sucker, watch Taylor Swift videos and the Era Tour with her (AGAIN). 

Nothing against Taylor just not my vibe. Also i’ve watched it with Clara SO MANY TIMES cause she loves it that I know like every song. 

Anyway, we’re sat in her room watching it and I realise that i’m being a fucking idiot. I always forget to consider romance just cause- idk it doesn’t occur to me 😭 BUT Clara is amazing and also, I need to chill. She’s my friend most of all, I should just TALK to her. 

ANYWAYS so last week I got my head out my arse and told her about what i’d been thinking about, and she admitted she DOES LIKE ME, and has for a while. 

Sometimes I feel like i’m not being as genuine as other people you know? Like, Clara has fancied me for a while and I didn’t even notice? And I don’t really know how I feel. I just find romance and stuff like that so hard, because it’s never been THAT important to me. 

But now it is because it’s Clara.

I didn’t ask her out until like three days ago. After we talked last week, I told her that her admitting she likes me won’t fuck with our friendship, but that I have like no idea how i’m feeling so i’d get back to her, but in the meantime she can vibe and know that we’re cool.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Like how am I supposed to know if I fancy her or not? Sure I do things for her I wouldn’t do for other people, because I care more, but maybe i’m just a dick to other people? I DONT KNOW CASSSSS. 

Look so like three days ago I decided to ask her out so that I could know. 

And we had an amazing date and it felt like nothing i’ve felt before but I felt guilty at the end cause it was like I was using her.  So I admitted I had no clue how I was feeling, and that I never get crushes on people first cause I never feel like that until I start feeling like that and I think maybe I always had a crush on her and mixed it up with friendship and how i’m a mess she should probably stay away from.

And then she told me she knows i’m a mess because she asked me out last year and we went on a whole date and she kissed my cheek and then I DIDNT REALISE IT FUCKING A DATE 😭

So… yeah. You’re now updated :)

Long story short, we’re dating and i’m hopefully not a dick ❤️

Also how the fuck do you know the difference between friendship and- not? Like, more? I feel like no one’s taught me EMOTIONS correctly 😭

Wow I am SOOOOOO SHOCKED :P

But for real as far as our question, this is a difficult one. Personally, I see more than friendship as someone who I care deeply about but also who I want deep intimacy with. Someone who I want in my future, but someone who I also crave closeness with in all ways. But some people don’t like certain types of intimacy for whatever reason and still feel romantic feelings, so people see romance differently depending on who it is.

I think honestly, you should give it a shot. If it starts to feel wrong, communicate that. Say you love her but just as a friend! Just keep the lines of communication open and be honest, that’s the best thing you can do 🥰

[sagemoderocklee]

omg let’s go choose violence multiples of three 🔥

3. ANSWERED

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

lotta them are but def S/S and N/H for me.

i think n*r*gaa is annoying but like the actual fandom has toned down some or maybe i just been out of it so long i never have to see anything from them. though i still think its annoying whenever the fandom does stupid lil 'gaara is jealous of sasuke' jokes. annoyin as hell and completely disregards the way gaara empathized with sasuke--even if kishimoto couldn't commit to that more strongly. but hey no one is important unless they can be used to prop up the MC, and god forbid anyone but naruto feel anything for sasuke i guess. not like the whole thing with gaara and sasuke in classic was that gaara saw himself in sasuke... like rlly fuckin sucks what we coulda had there

9. worst part of canon

god there's so much that's bad but definitely the Otsutsuki. gotta be my least fave thing. zero foreshadowing because it was just a gimmick for boruto.

also ch 700 sucks and doesnt exist to me

12. ANSWERED

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

gonna assume this is meant negatively but uh besides the obvious blushing gaara shit also the orientalist designs that are out there. like gaara in these fake ass belly dancer type costumes. ugly and racist as hell. like if you wanna put Gaara in clothes from SWANA regions then do the fucking research. dont just throw shit together. you cant culture vulture your way to a diverse cast of characters

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

bitch i dont know >< uh... yeah i got nuthin

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

lmao most of it but definitely Madara

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

a*3

if someone wants to give their money to a site that hosts cp, racist fics, silences pro-Palestine volunteers, treats volunteers like shit and ignores the volunteers of color experiencing racism then imma block and move on with my day. and if someone wants to align themselves with ppl who send messages to the effect of "lol because of this im donating $100 to a*3" to mostly Black bloggers seeking mutual aid who happen to be critical of said site... well thats on them too. these ppl are one step away from callin Black ppl slurs but sure it's more important to protect this site from so-called censorship (it's actually just moderation, but go off with that fake ass oppression)

you dont get to call somethin art and then not criticize it and the spaces it inhabits. real literature is criticized, so if fanfic is held up to that standard then it and the spaces it exists in should be criticized--and in general any community space needs to be held to a standard, but hey that's askin mostly white ppl to care about community. but like either its transformative and therefore warrants engagement on that level or its just for fun--and if its the latter, then youre still sayin its fine to have fun at the expense of others; its fine to disseminate works that maintain the status quo, and even encourage it. you cant 'representation matters' and 'fiction doesnt impact reality' a thing--the two are contradictory, only one can be true, and hint: it's not the latter--or the space it exists in.

also genuinely think its so disingenuous to act like ppl critical of that site are all doin it out of spite and to "ruin ppls fun" insteada because they want that space to be welcoming and better for everyone--safer. ppl pushin for change are tryna make it a place that doesnt cause harm, silencing that is so fuckin stupid

[murfeelts3]

Simblrpocalypse (Weekend Replies)

Rather than me having a good time on my main Sims 3 simblr account (murfeelee.tumblr.com which recently fell victim to Tumblr’s insta-ban spree)--posting my regular Weekend! Replies!, queuing up gameplay posts & TS3 CC--instead I’m hunkered down in the trenches tryna decide WHAT DO DO NEXT.

soupiesoupsimblr reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

What the heck… What are we gonna do.. Do we leave.. Or stay and fight?

doka-chan reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

#Really #Like REALLY ??!!!!!! #Seriously #@staff #This is nonsense and it has to end #We love Tumblr #Don't give us excuses to hate it #Please

sugar-sugarsims replied to your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

This is what they want us to pay for? Gradient boxes and random auto deletes? I think not. I just hope my cc blog doesn’t get hit. 😔

dreamsongsims reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

I feel like the entire sims community needs an emergency location where we can all meet up post Tumpolcalypse. I hate the thought of our little community being purged and culled with no way to get back to each other. Ridiculous!

Even if/when Tumblr restores my account, and the accounts of fellow simmers who are being sniped (I just heard that Toreno-Werty got banned yesterday, too @three-stars-ranch WTF--not to mention everyone else who told me about their bans), that’s not going to solve the underlying problem with this hellsite.

It’s been increasingly obvious that Tumblr and @staff’s reliance on its fundamentally flawed and BROKEN algorithm have alienated and downright driven away whole swathes of its user base. The infamous Dec17 Tumblrpocalypse first started purging the site of all kinds of content, to pander to Apple’s apps (which whaddaya know is neck-deep in an antitrust lawsuit vs Epic Games for bad business practices).

Sinking Ship: Tumblr/Simblr Alternatives?

Ever since December 17th, Tumblr users have seen the mass flagging, shadowbanning, Sensitive Content soft-bans, and instant termination of posts and accounts at large, which have led to several exoduses off of the platform for different, safer microblogging alternatives.

The Sims’ community of videogamers for TS1, TS2, TS3 and TS4 also fell victim to Tumblr’s nonsense, and numerous posts circulated ideas about the simblr community needing to move elsewhere, or better yet: creating out own Sims blogging website, some even making kickstarters to try creating one.

Unfortunately, these ideas weren’t able to get off the ground, as it’s EFFING HARD to run a website--costly, complex, and thankless to boot. We’ve all seen the constant pressure put on SimFileShare to carry the entire simming community all these years, as a Sims-specific FREE filesharing host for our terabytes, petabytes, exabytes, zetabytes, and yottabytes of CC.

One of the main deterrents to simblrs not leaving Tumblr as we rightly should’ve, is the plain simple fact of the matter that every alternative lacked some feature or another that Tumblr excels at. Be it site features (reblogs, tags, mentions, themes, media hosting, site import/export); integral user innovations (New X-Kit); the free and easy access (versus paywalls on Pillowfort & co.), we have all been trapped in this abusive relationship with Tumblr, for want of a better place to go.

Unless a better website is made, either by us or someone else, we’re stuck here. So what can be done about it?

Tumblr’s Auto-Bans, and the Reblogged Link Fiasco

The main allure is Tumblr’s large community presence & participation itself. The Dec17 Tumblrpocalypse lost Tumblr 1/3 of its entire user base in one fell swoop. There are tens of thousands of Simblrs across The Sims’ games. But crazy enough, these arbitrary auto-bans are ruining the one thing that kept us here--what’s the point of sticking around if you or someone you follow can get INSTANTLY kicked off the site under these spurious flaggings!? Especially if Tumblr does EFF ALL to make sure it doesn’t happen again?!

ny-sims reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

@staff soooo are you keeping this same energy for the racism, homophobia, or sexually graphic content too??? How many accounts will be deleted without notice before y’all fix the problem??? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

So I have zero confidence that merely getting our accounts back will fix things--the OLD links/posts are still out there; having been reblogged dozens if not hundreds of times. Innocent simblrs are being shut down left and right lately--one site gets restored, and two more get banned the next day. This is LITERALLY what happened to me, Desiree-uk, and Toreno-Werty, within HOURS of each other.

https://three-stars-ranch.tumblr.com/post/658800265616588800/hi-guys-its-me-toreno-werty-today-for-some

Even if Tumblr bothers to contact you, and deigns to grace you with an actual explantion, rather than leaving you in the effing dark, lately it’s tended to be because of reblogged links

xldkx replied to your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

they'll hit you if you reblog anything with adfly on it. be careful. also they do not like outbound links bc your stuff gets shadowbanned in the tag.

Exactly. And one outbound link in particular:

https://desiree-uk.tumblr.com/post/658600853646770176/my-account-has-been-restored

Reblogs, by their very nature, are PERVASIVE, so what do we do when years -old reblogged content is buried deep in our blogs--partcularly those links that are not immediately apparent to even be from flagged sites????

ny-sims replied to your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

@staff it’s 2021 yall.. there has to be a better way to filter content. Deleting entire accounts is extreme af! And on top of that. The Sims community is a big reason for Tumblrs survival. Let’s be real, not many use this damn site anymore 🤷🏽‍♀️ idc idc!

ktarsims reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

This is absurd. If an old reblog contains bad content, can’t you just delete the original post and all reblogs? Or are your moderation tools so poor that you can’t? Banning whole accounts for old reblogs which are glitchy and can’t even be deleted is ridiculous. #tumblr fails

catbrokensims3 reblogged your post “Murfeelee Account Deletion”

This is just so disheartening. I don’t understand why @staff can’t delete the posts rather than the whole blog? Then give the blog owner some warning when posts are deleted so they can do something and/or know that reblogs that used to be okay no longer are? We’re losing potentially valuable content to our community here. This is throwing the baby out with the bathwater big time and it’s sad. #sims #what is going on #why

Tumblr’s claimed to be making the site better and more positive and other BULLSHITE before, but ever since the Dec17 Tumblrpocalypse things have just gone from bad to worse. If Tumblr’s blatant handwaving of the Post+ backlash is anything to go by, @staff  just said EFF ALL Y’ALL, and DOUBLED DOWN on their nonsense, regardless of the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS who spoke out against them going forward with paid subscriptions and filled out the survey Tumblr clearly IGNORED.

https://techcrunch.com/2021/07/22/tumblr-community-lash-out-post-plus-subscription/

It’s been 3 years since we faced this kind of continued barrage from @staff, and one paying to the signs seriously has to wonder if Ragnarok is finally upon us, after 3 years of Fimbulwinter.

Is the Simblrpocalypse inevitable? What can we do to protect/backup or content?

Last week I opened my own Wix account. However, I’ve always had trouble with Wix--it’s so HEAVY and SLOW, and bogs down my PC evey time I use it--let alone try to build my own. So it’s been VERY slow going for me to get my Wix page in a state where I can publish it, but I AM working on one, so I can at least have a place other than Tumblr to post my CC releases. 

And as for Wordpress backups, the last time I imported my Tumblr blog it glitched and made duplicates of every post, thus going over my storage space so that Wordpress won’t let me make new poists on that account. I made another Wordpress account, but AFAIK there’s no function on Wordpress’ Tumblr Import feature to pick and choose which posts we want to import -- it just imports the whole blog, which is unnecessary in my case, since I already have another Wordpress import for 2013-2018 -- I just want everything from 2019-2021 Imported. (And if I don't get my account back I can’t Import it anyway, which makes Wordpress moot).

So, other than Wix and/or Wordpress, what else is out there for us?

Wix might be our best bet for cataloguing CC, for those of us who make it. But what about community engagement? Places like Sims 3 Updates and My Sims 3 Blog migrated to TS4-only years ago, so Tumblr became the main hub for promoting new releases through reblogs. This was particularly effective after the rise of CC Finds Blogs like the late great Lana--another blog that got banned during the Dec17 Tumblrpocalypse, and never recovered. And several major CC Finds Blogs have been hit at least once by Tumblr’s ban since then, too.

A few weeks.months ago, when @mspoodle1​, @darkccfinds​, and @katsujiiccfinds​ got banned, I started considering backing up my stuff, but it was only once @desiree-uk​​  confirmed last week that it was still happening that I knew I needed to do something, and made my Wix account. As a fellow CC finds reblogger with 5 sideblogs dedicated to reblogging Sims content (including fancifults3cc.tumblr.com, scifits3ccblog.tumblr.com and ninthcirclets3cc.tumblr.com), I naturally expected to get hit next, and I was right. But if we’re all too scared to reblog content anymore, the Simblr community dies, as it’s through reblogs and tags/mentions that we let our followers know about the CC being made, and support simmers in the community. 

There seems to be no simple solution. Yes, we all want our blogs back, and we want this whole reblog/link issue to be fixed, with Tumblr’s @staff​​ finally providing a reasonable way to get rid of the bad links/posts themselves, NOT our whole account. Kicking people off the platform will only lead its users to continue losing faith in Tumblr’s longterm ability to maintain this website--let alone its ability to show any sign of care or consideration for the accounts investing so much time and energy into keeping the platform relevant.

@doka-chan​ said it best: #We love Tumblr #Don't give us excuses to hate it.

[transgenderknothead]

I know I've been gone for like ever, but I was working on something super cool, so without further adieu... I Want the Truth a creepy pasta fanfiction just under 2k words!

Truth is undefinable, yes it has a definition, not lying, but how do you determine what’s a lie and what isn’t? It’s difficult, especially when you get different answers from the same person. My mother always tells me I have no memory due to various different accidents. First she said car crash, then she said nearly drowned, then it was kidnapped, her current story is that I had been in a coma for most of my life due to a birth defect. When I ask why her story keeps changing she says she isn’t quite sure what is causing my memory loss, as all of those things happened. My friends and I were hanging out at the old children’s mental hospital, it had burned down about four years ago and ever since my friends and I would go and try to figure out why and how it had burned. So far we had found nothing, nothing that was in one piece anyway, we had found three shattered skull fragments and a lot of broken wood. We’d searched all over the building, except for one room, which we could never open. It was a metal door, that when we tried using axes, hatchets, and even random pieces of wood nearby, they fell apart before even reaching it. We have no idea what’s on the other side, but it feels important, and because my friends are stubborn, we will never stop trying to open it or get inside. “Again!” Toby, my boyfriend, yelled when the head of his metal axe fell off when it made contact with the door. “At least this time we hit it,” I rubbed his shoulder as he slumped, “and it looks like you even dented it.” “If his noodle arms dented it, imagine what I could’ve done,” his athletic twin brother, Evan, flexed. “I don’t know, why don’t ya punch it, see what happens,” Toby argued. “Would you two knock it off,” their 14 year old little sister Jessy rolled her eyes, “what did Mom and Dad say about you arguing all the time?” Toby rolled his eyes, a tiny smile appearing when we made eye contact. “We should head back,” I piped up a little. Back at the house Toby and I went into his room, separated from his twin by a curtain, the tall boy flopping onto his bed. “Are you okay?” I rubbed his back. “Something about that room just,” he rolled over, pulling me with him, “I don’t know, it makes no sense.” “What is it?” “It gives me a weird gut feeling,” he scratched my back lightly, “like something bad is behind it.” I had woken up in the middle of the night, bolting up in bed next to Toby. It was always the same nightmare. I’m sitting in a pitch black room, a fuzzy figure of a purple, pink, blue, and yellow jester with a hammer sitting in front of me. It seemed like it was trying to communicate with me, but I couldn’t hear, or even see, much of it. The next morning we all headed over to the mental hospital again. Toby, having hurt his hand playing guitar last night, was going to let me try opening the door with his brand new axe. So here we stood, axe held over my head, everyone else standing back. When I swung the door flew open and the axe hit the floor instead. “Um, to whichever deity is out there, please help,” Jessy whimpered. I walked in, it looked as though this room had the worst of it. An entire wall caved in, shattered glass everywhere, all of the furniture destroyed. The walls that were left standing had what was very obviously scratch marks from whatever child was in here. “Holy,” I whispered, spinning around to look at the room. I kept looking around until I saw the bed in the corner, it was rusted and broken to no end, but that isn’t what caught my attention. It was the seemingly untouched blue bunny stuffed animal holding a very broken, but unburned, Jack-in-the-Box. I reached for it instinctively, but Toby grabbed my wrist. “Don’t,” he whispered. “I just want to know,” I grabbed the toys, inspecting them, before dropping them and gasping. I slowly picked them back up, and cradled the bunny, who was now missing an eye. “What is it?” Evan stood in the doorway, very obviously too scared to enter the room fully. “My name,” I whispered, just loud enough

to hear, “it’s on both of these.” I twisted the toys to show the red stitched name on the bunny and the carved name on the box. “Oh god,” Jessy whispered. I clutched the toys to my chest and started running back. “WAIT!” Toby called. “I have to know, I need to know the truth about my memory, and the truth about these!” I yelled when he caught up to me, he let go and let me run. “Whoa, slow down kid, where’s the fire,” my mom jokes. “What’s this,” I held up the toys and her face went pale, “don’t even think about lying, I want the truth this time.” “They were a couple of toys your childhood friend’s gave you before they left,” she replied. “Okay, new question,” I stood up straighter, “why were they in the mental hospital?” She gasped and dropped her tea cup. She smiled, looking at me, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Mom, why can’t I remember anything? Don’t give me a story like you do every time.” “You still believed in imaginary friends,” she cried, “you were twelve, that’s not normal for a 12 year old kid! I had to do something to make you realize they were fake!” “So putting me in a hospital and drugging me into forgetting was your grand solution?” I yelled. “You don’t understand,” she started. “You’re right, I don’t understand, but what I do understand is that I’m not the type of person to believe something I haven’t seen, or hasn’t been proved to me,” I crossed my arms, knowing what I had to do. “Don’t do anything stupid,” my boyfriend spoke when they finally caught up. “I have to know,” I spoke before turning around, taking the toys with me, and running into the woods. I ran for a long time, a couple of memories coming back to me. Playing with a tall stuffed clown, a tall red headed man with long hair and wearing a feathery jacket handing me the blue bunny, setting the fire in the hospital. Eventually, I ran up to a familiar metal gate that led to a run down carnival. I opened the gate and it creaked. My heart was pounding in my chest as I clutched the bunny tighter to my chest, the Jack-in-the-Box in my hoodie pocket. I heard a twig snap by the merry go round, causing me to run into the hall of mirrors. I fell against a wall trying to stop myself from crying. “Oh Gumdrop,” a singsong voice came from the entrance. I hid farther into the dark corner, “you don’t need to hide, we’re friends!” I watched the black and white clown look around the room, his hands on his hips. His eyes meet mine, he smiles wider and gets closer. “Jack!” A voice laughed from behind him, the jester from my dreams stepped forward. “It’s her!” Jack pointed, and the jester looked my way. “I’ve been tryna reach ya,” he pulled me out of the dark, “but ya never heard me!” “I’m sorry,” I whimpered, his grip wasn’t tight, but I could tell neither of them were human. “Don’t be sorry! It aint your fault!” The jester giggled, pulling me out of the hall of mirrors and into the big tent, where three more inhuman entities were talking and working. One was a shorter man with black hair, a sketch pad, blue jacket, and a white mask with a red smile sitting next to him. Next to him was a more average height man with dark grey skiing, all black clothes, golden eyes, and what looked like a puppet hanging from golden strands of light coming from his fingers. Across from him was a very tall white haired man dressed like a magician and holding a wand. “There you are,” the man with the sketch book said. “We’ve been waiting for you to come back,” the grey man next to him continued. “She doesn’t remember us,” the magician looked at me. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “Don’t apologize!” The jester rolled his eyes, “we’ll just reintroduce you!” “I’m Laughing Jack!” Jack spoke, “you used to call me L.J. for short!” “This is Puppeteer, who you called Pup,” the man with the sketchbook pointed at the man with the puppet. “This is Helen,” Puppeteer smiled, pointing at the one with the sketchbook. “I’m Papa El De Grande,”

the magician spoke, “you always called me Mr. Magic.” “I’m Candy Pop!” the jester tickled my sides, “you called me Pop.” “Where’s Jason?” L.J. looked around. “His workshop, fixing Mr. Bun Bun,” Puppeteer said, “it’d be best if she went alone.” Puppeteer took me over to a red and white tent near the big one. He told me to just go in, and that he’s never been mad when I was around because he never wanted to scare me away. “Jason?” I poked my head in, and was greeted by a big stuffed purple worm covered in patches. “Glutton!” A voice yelled from farther into the tent, “get over here!” I followed as the worm snaked towards a redhead man with golden eyes, putting an eye on the rabbit that I had come here with. “Jason?” He looked up at the calling of his name, smiling gently when he saw it was me. “It’s been a long time, Dolly,” he handed me the bunny, standing up he towered over me, “come on, let’s go for a walk.” During the walk he answered all of my questions that my mother refused to answer. He caught me up on all of the missing details of the past. And eventually led me back to the front gate. “It’s nearly time for you to get home,” pat my head. “Remember to just wind up the jack in the box when you want to see me!” Jack waved. “I’ll visit ya in your dreams again tonight, maybe now you’ll be able to hear me!” Candy Pop laughed. “Come back tomorrow,” Helen waved from his seat on the stairs of the merry-go-round. “Oh my god,” a voice came from behind me, my mother had her hand over her mouth as she glanced over the people I had spent my childhood with. “I was right, Mom,” I whispered. “Jason?” She whispered the name of the man who was trying to get away. “Yes?” He turned around slowly to look at my mother. “Oh my god,” she whispered, “Jason Meyers.” I looked at my mother at the use of our last name. Jason lowered his head. “Mom?” “You have been spending time with the spirit of your father, and I took that away,” her hand went over her heart, “oh, I am so sorry dear.” “Wait, Mom I didn’t even know,” I stuttered. “I needed to protect you from the things you weren’t ready to know,” he ushered us out, “now come back tomorrow, it’s getting late.” “We have to take your boyfriend to meet them tomorrow,” my mother spoke, causing Jason to look up, his eyes suddenly glowing green and his hair slowly turning white. “Okay,” Jack clapped his hands, his smile gone, “I think it’s time for bed.”

[azure-cherie]

Feedback

Hey honey! Here for the feedback. Firstly, I'm glad my exacnged resonated with you. Haha idk if that was your mom but ig there's this one feminine spirit guide around you who's jst like your mom🌝they inspire you to look into yourself n Improve your life for the better. Coming back to my feedback. 😭THIS WAS THE MOST SWEETEST THING I EVER READ... 🥺✨ No romantic novel hv this much sweetness in it😭💟I absolutely adore this✨🥂🧿🦋🤍

Weekend in a beach house ... This is actually my dream 😩 love everything I write abt n will publish it😳😳how? I mean how? I wrote some songs few years back n few poems n now I'm about to write one fictional documentary 😳🤡yep! I wonder the same if there'll be happy ever after for us n whether we'll be with each other for forever but then again jst cherish what you hv atm is the best way possible to live n enjoy your present. Hard to communicate!! Well I'm not surprised 😭😹 I'm the same actually. Their soul speaks to me three times a day? 👀👀Yep! 😳I usually get so many deja Vus, prophetic dreams but ohh myy! There were so many prophetic visions a year ago n ig I saw my fs in one of the vision in which I was half asleep but their face was blurry except that everything was crystal clear.🙀 I'm a fire(fire dominant) Aries sun(tro), I'm an ice Pisces sun(sid)... Hmm makes sense. If I say this it'll feel like I'm appreciating myself n self centric but I do wanna say that even after so many harsh experiences, bullying, childhood n recent traumas my heart is still full of kindness, with so much of love n warmth for others🙂 ohh😹I want either a cheese cake with cherries or mangoes as topping or black forest dessert cake😹lol. Yes my parents don't cherish me enough as much as they should do, infact no one does but it's ok.... I'm so strong n thanks to my fs to think abt this for me. Confident yep I am. Big wound in heart.... I'm tryna heal myself but let's see~ I care abt you so care abt me!!!! 😅 I will but in future, rn I'm tryna focus on myself LMAO. Those random channelled lines were so cute yet meaningful. Thankyou for those songs... I'll listen to em.... Love you like a love song is such a beautiful masterpiece of selena 😌🙌 "I" as his initial!? 💀👀 I see 🕳️👩‍🦯

Thankyou so much darling... This was all so cute .... Take care n stay hydrated ✨🤍

I love long feed backs 😤💛

Okay so about the female energy i really I feel the energy of guidance and love.

Manifesting everything beautiful for you . Idk how but ig your works will really be published i feel it 🤭 , if you ever wanna show my dms are open , omg your prophetic dreams i hope once you really see them 😤 but either way they're coming . I am sorry you had to go through all the trauma , hope you are healed and happy ✨ . People do and will cherish you , Yes focus on self is very important 🤌✨ .

Glad you like the songs , you too stay cute , happy and hydrated 🦋✨.

[forever-lynx]

two punks in love

heheee an arthuralex fic

warnings: cursing and one nsfw joke

A/N: you can also read it on ao3 here. this is also for @deimosatellite bc u have dragged me into arthuralex hell. even tho it was not deliberate i cannot claw my way out of it now smh /nm. i also know you havent been feeling well so this is my way of tryna make you feel better 

–––––

“What the fuck is that stench?”

“I’m cooking pasta.” “That’s pasta? Are you sure you’re not tryna poison us?”

Alex huffed, “You try cooking then, Mr. I-can’t-even-microwave-popcorn.”

Arthur grumbled, “Shut the fuck up. That was one time.”

“All you had to do was wait for three minutes. You left it on for half an hour. I’m surprised the house didn’t burn down.”

“I got distracted! Let it go, you annoying ass.”

Alex hummed, “I’ll let it go once you admit you’re a shit cook and I’m better.”

Arthur scoffed, “In your dreams, princess.”

Arthur hopped on the rusty, old couch as Alex stuck his tongue out at his partner. They had been dating two and a half years and Arthur had not changed one bit. Well, perhaps that wasn’t all true – at least he had stopped trying to kill Ash, that was an improvement – but his mouth was as filthy as ever. Alex once joked that Arthur should drink soap to help keep his mouth clean. The next day, Alex saw his partner walk into the apartment with bags of soap. At least they had an endless supply of Dove soap at their disposal. 

Two and a half years into dating and a lot had changed; Arthur had his own gang again, thankfully he was a more fair leader than he used to be. He would never admit it – least of all to himself – but Arthur looked up to Ash’s leadership. Though things were still rocky between the two, it was a whole lot better than it was years ago. Ash was often away in Izumo, Japan with Eiji. In the rare occasion he would come back to New York, Arthur would consult Ash about specific businesses. Whether it was about winning back territory or drug dealing, Ash would provide Arthur with the help he needed. Of course, more often than not the two would break into a fight, but neither tried to kill each other. That was a huge improvement. 

Ash was skeptical about Alex and Arthur’s relationship at first. He suspected Arthur had an ulterior motive at hand. However, once he got to observe the two more, he realized they made each other happy. And to everyone’s surprise, Alex was the one person Arthur actually listened to. This was a relief to everyone.

“Hey, wanna see how it tastes?” Alex called out to Arthur.

Arthur shrugged, “Yeah sure, why not.”

Arthur took a fork out of their cabinet and dove into the pot. He blew on the fork, the steam of the pasta clouding his view. He brought it up to his mouth and swallowed.

Arthur smiled, “Gotta say, it tastes better than your dick.”

Alex hit the back of Arthur’s head, “Keep up with that attitude and I’ll see if you’ll ever get any again.”

"Oh come on princess, you are way too attracted to me to resist."

Alex scoffed at that, “What in the world gave you that idea?” He playfully shoved Arthur. 

Arthur shrugged, "Just a hunch." He wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist from behind, resting his chin on his partner’s shoulder. Arthur hummed, content with being close to his partner. It was rare for Arthur to show affection. It was important because it meant Arthur felt safe enough to show his vulnerable side. Unfortunately, Arthur had grown up in circumstances where showing vulnerability was viewed as weakness. Thankfully, he had learned to open up to Alex. It had taken the two of them lots of time, but it was worth it. Alex was patient with Arthur, giving him space when needed and showing him affection when Arthur felt comfortable. Arthur did the same, of course; though he wasn’t good at showing affection, he had other methods of showing he cared. He would remember Alex’s favorite park to go to during rainy days. Arthur remembered Alex’s favorite scents and bought candles accordingly. When Alex was feeling down, Arthur would take care of the entire apartment so his partner would have less work to do. He would also take Alex to his favorite restaurant so his partner would not have to cook.

Months of trying to work out their relationship, the two lovers eventually found a rhythm that fit them. It wasn't easy, for neither of them were used to a relationship. Arthur especially struggled the most – he was not good at communication. But Alex was patient. And the two truly appreciated each other and therefore did everything they could to find their flow. It had taken a long time, but it was all worth it in the end. Even though they were able to afford an old apartment, they were happy with anything as long as they had each other. 

"C'mon, grab the plates and start the TV to see if there are any movies on," Alex said.

The two ate their pasta while watching Shrek. 

"Y'know… Shrek kinda looks like you," Alex told Arthur.

"Fuck you. You look like Donkey’s ass.”

The plates and forks eventually ended up in the sink, postponed to be washed tomorrow morning.

Arthur fell asleep on Alex’s shoulder, their hands intertwined. Arthur was hissing in his sleep, occasionally mumbling nonsense threats. Alex found it endearing.

Alex placed a soft kiss on Arthur’s forehead and closed his eyes, dreaming of a future with his partner.

[detective4blog]

@consultingcriminal Okay so here's the VERY rough draft about that AU I mentioned and screamed over.

So Sebastian's bored, fresh outta his discharge and kicked outta Augustus' place and honestly that's pretty cool. But like finding a fuckbuddy is hard sometimes, cuz then there's the risk of catching feels, maybe it isn't as pleasing as planned etc etc. Because obviously the first thing Sebastian is gonna look for is a fuckbuddy. Any previous ones he lost contact with and that sucks, plus he's kinda bored with humans. Because I guess in this verse people are aware of the supernatural and whatever. So after Severin makes a joke about making a contract with a demon Sebastian actually decides to do it, he's an idiot and Severin needs to not joke like that. Anyway.

So he messes around and somehow ends up with Jim. Now Jim is tryna give his usual speech of the promise of power for a price, that he could destory any enemies, yadada. Sebastian kinda is an awe bc holy FUCK he summoned a hot ass demon. So Jim finishes his speech and is like "so what do you want?" and Sebastian just. "Gotta be honest, I literally just wanna get laid." And Jim is so fucking confused because that's new, he's intrigued, also this human is being so fucking casual with him, that's fucking new.

Jim ends up agreeing because hey it seems like a win-win, sex and after Sebastian gets bored he gets his soul. Easy enough. So Ig a contract is made, they discuss things like limits and kinks and shit, because communication is important! So shocker it takes like a day before they actually Do It, mostly because both are like "wait that happened what the fuck".

Probably would be good to mention that Jim can sense shit. Like what mood Sebastian is in (happy, mad, sad, whatever). Idc if that's not how demons work it's my shit AU I get to have stupid plot things that can lead to angst!

Okay now that I mentioned that so Jim senses that Sebastian had a shitty day at work, Idk what job because I don't know what else Sebastian would do as a job but I also don't want to make him an assassin. Anyway so Sebastian is annoyed bastard, Jim has an idea, gets some fancy lacy black lingerie and just. Waits for Sebastian to get home. So our favorite horny idiot gets home and did not expect to see Jim laying all ✨seductively✨ on the only bed in his shitty flat and especially didn't expect the lingerie but he isn't gonna complain.

CUE BASHER MORAN SPECIAL

anyway.

Sorry I still find it so fucking funny that Sebastian CANONICALLY has some kinda sex thing that he named that apparently is really good or he's just a bragging piece of shit. Either way I love it and Jim is literally a lucky devil because First Impressions Matter. And idk why this is funny to me. Anyway moving right fucking along.

So this goes on for about a year, they do other shit besides fucking for plot reasons. Angst probably takes place, I cannot think of angst rn, but yeah. So like on the anniversary of "Sebastian thinks Severin's joke is a suggestion" that's when Sebastian catches on to the fact that he caught feels, he doesn't know what to do, time to explain to his older brother that he fucking sold his soul for some sex. Severin is surprised and then wonders why he's surprised, Sebastian would do that, why is he shocked. Anyway so he kinda just doesn't fucking know what to say. Conversation goes like this:

"Maybe just...tell him?"

"...I'm literally still trying to tell myself that Sev, I don't fuckin' have crushes."

Spoiler alert Sebastian is an idiot.

So he doesn't mention it but Jim's smart and figures it out. But he doesn't know what to do either, there isn't exactly a "how to unown a human's soul because he fucking fell in love" guide. Unless he just stays, which means he has to bring up that idea, which he does except it's horrible. Literally all he does is suggest that this fuckbuddy thing extends go lifelong. And he only brings it up bc he knows he cares about Sebastian but totally not in a love way, noooo, not in love, lmao what-

Sebastian decides "sure okay yeah sounds fun" and immediately after panics because oh god oh fuck Jim's staying. Then Jim realizes he has feelings and that's new, what the fuck™. So neither do anything because they're idiots and this is kinda new, Sebastian hasn't had a real relationship for a long fucking time, so it's just a state of "shagging acting like there aren't feelings but there are so many feelings" till one time after, Sebastian mumbles those three words out, Jim doesn't know what to do, he tries to give reasons for Sebastian to not love him, now Sebastian is mildly offended and confused, then it clicks, whoops they're dating.

Fast forward to months later, Jim bringing Richard up from whatever realm bc brother fluff, Sebastian dragging Severin over for a proper dinner, cue Richard being a flirty demon to Severin bc I said so, Severin being a flustered idiot, Sebastian rolling his eyes and sighing, Jim just trying to not be the handsy boyfriend he is, voliá, everything is good and nice.

[tk-productions]

Mystic Sisters- Ch.19 Trader

Masterlist🌙🌹

Hikari’s pov

It was a few days later and we were still in Yokohama. Yua went to get breakfast from the convenient store while I packed up the rest of my stuff. After Yua’s dream a few days ago we thought it was best to find out what this castle was that we kept seeing. We were headed to Yokosuka. It might bold a clue to us and powers. I tried contacting Saki but I couldn’t get a hold of her. When I last talked to her, that's where she told us to go. We still haven't heard from anyone. It had been days and our parents still haven't called. They probably don’t care at this point. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and braided my hair into two braids. Akio's hat still laid on the counter.

"Well since I still have it and it's cold I might as well wear it" I grinned and slipped the hat over my head. I don’t know why I was obsessed with him and his hat. Did I really just say that? That I was obsessed with him? According to Yua I was but I wouldn’t call it that.

"Im back!" Yua yelled. She was sitting the food on the little table we had in the room.

"Are you done packing?" she asked, sitting my food in front of me. I nodded unwrapping my onigiri. “I brought some more water since someone drank a gallon of water by herself.”

“I’ve been thirsty. Leave me alone.” We quickly ate so we could catch our train. Knowing how long it takes Yua we still might be late.

“When we get there I'll try contacting Saki again.” I told her once we got to the train surprisingly on time.

“If she doesn't answer we’ll stay in Yokosuka until we can reach her.”

Luckily it was only a 30 minute train ride and the train wasn't too packed. I shivered feeling a cold breeze. The same way I felt When Akio was around. I looked at Yua to see if she noticed too but she was too busy listening to music on her phone. Once we got off I felt another cold breeze. Quickly turning around I expected to see Akio like usual but he wasn't there. No one was.

"What's up?" Yua asked after I turned back around.

"Nothing let's go.” I told her grabbing my suitcase walking past her. I swear I felt him around. After dropping off our stuff at the hotel we went to a local ramen shop for lunch. As we walled back I heard my name being called. "Saki?" I said stopping in the tracks.

"Hikari I can't get to you guys right now. I'll come find you just not now. There's something going on. Mom and d-."

"Saki!" I called out, I called her name a few times but she didn't answer. Mom and dad? What was she gonna say?

"She sounded like someone or something was after her. She tried to tell me something but got cut off like last time. "I told Yua who was now standing in front of me.

"We'll just go back to the hotel or go to our grandparents since dad made it obvious he doesn't want us home.” She told me. I nodded grabbing her hand. I looked past my sister staring off into the distance. I could feel him nearly. This time I knew he was here. But where?

"What's wrong? she asked, grabbing my cheeks forcing me to look at her.

"He's here"I said blankly.

"Well Akio was right. You were easy to find."

Yua quickly turned around and Akio and his friend were there.So he was here earlier.

For a second I could have sworn he smiled at me but when I looked closer he still had the same blank look on his face. Akio and I stared at each other, not breaking eye contact until Yua spoke up.

"How the hell did you find us? We're not even in Tokyo any more.”

“Just because you left Tokyo doesn’t mean we couldn't find you.” The older boy pointed at the hat I was wearing. “That belongs to my brother little girl.”

I sucked in my breath and was shocked. “Excuse me I am not little!” I said stomping my feet.

Akio smirked at my reaction. The other boy looked at me and then at Akio. “I guess she’s your type.”

Akio looked insulted. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What are you tryna say Riyoshi?”

“Oh nothing, don't get all butt hurt now.”

“So your names Riyoshi?” Yua questioned.

“That Princess is none of your business.” Riyoshi told Yua “However you should be worried about your boyfriend though I left a pretty big scar on his face.”

“Try his whole body.” Akio chimed in, chuckling. “Don’t downplay it man you nearly killed that guy.”

“Yea but he can die later he’s not our mission.”

“Y'all are really too handsome for this shit. What’s so important about us?”

Riyoshi seemed to find that amusing while Akio just stood there.

“Well isn’t this a nice surprise .” Says an unknown guy walking up.

“And you are?” Yua asked

“My name is --

“Irrelevant. We're busy, go away.” Yua snapped.

“Right we don't need anymore weirdo’s here.” I said.

“You little bitches. First off my name is Levi.” Levi was definitely triggered.

“Who are you calling weird?” Akio and Riyoshi said in unison.

I ignored them and looked at my sister. “This is getting bad very fast. Let's get the hell out of here.”

“You really think we have a chance there's three of them. Stay put!”

“Looks like they can communicate by just looking at each other. Interesting.”

“It’s called telepathy dumb ass.” Riyoshi shot at Levi.

I decided it was time to shoot some fire and make a break for it since they obviously weren't paying attention at the moment.

“Yua throw that car and i'll blow it up, decent distraction don’t you think?”

“We're sister’s for a reason. Let's do it on 3.”

“1” I started.

“2” Yua followed.

“3!” We said aloud. Catching the boy's attention but the plan was already in effect.

Yua used her powers and tossed a car in their direction and I shot a fireball at it causing it to explode. Yua grabbed my hand and we ran as fast as we could and I was happy because I still had my hat. He shouldn’t have given it to me, it's mine now.

We made it to a nearby ally before Riyoshi literally jumped off of a building and landed in front if us with Akio right behind him. “Damn not gonna lie that was a little hot.” Riyoshi said basically giving my sister the eye.

“Wow you're trying to kidnap us and you're flirting at the same time. You and my sister are made for each other.”

“Hikari now is not the time to promote my antics.” Yua snapped.

“I thought it was pretty funny.” Riyoshi answered.

“What is happening right now?” I asked very confused.

“What’s happening is these idiots have betrayed the VHA.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Riyoshi said darkly.

“Oh yea when your little brother here saved his little girlfriend I caught it all on camera and showed it to Amelia.” Levi said with a big smirk on his face. “Long story short your public enemy number one now. Both of you. Amelia was so hurt when she watched the video. She couldn’t believe that two boys she practically raised would turn on her and choose to side with the enemy. You know her policy on loyalty right? Since you betrayed her everyone at the VHA will be coming after you. You two aren't welcome back. You're at the top of the blacklist. ” Levi said walking closer to the boys patted me on my shoulder. “Nice job brat you just got your friends here killed.”

Before I or Levi could react Levi was flying backwards as Akio kicked him with the utmost force. Yua and I jumped both our eyes turning white in shock.

It didn’t stop their as Riyoshi grabbed Akio by the back of his collar pulling him back so he could face him. “Seriously Akio?”

“I swear my body moved on it’s own.” Akio explained.

Suddenly 6 more guys showed up and we were surrounded but luckily we knew how to fight. Yua and I got into defensive positions back to back.

Riyoshi Pov

“Well since we were considered traders anyway might as well help them fight. But I will deal with you later.” I said to Akio, giving him the deadliest glare I had. It worked. He looked like he saw a ghost. Since the VHA turned on us we would have to run. Getting caught and brought back to Amelia would be worse than being on the blacklist. Amelia kept a list of people that have wronged her or weren’t loyal to the VHA. If you were to get caught after being blacklisted then she would make your life hell. Because of an incident that happened before Amelia started putting kill chips in us so that way if someone turned on the VHA the other members would kill that person on sight.

I didn’t have my wooden bullets but I had regular one’s and they definitely would work on halflings. Quickly loading my gun I saw Akio pull out his sword and I knew he was serious about this girl right then and there.

“Go do your thing i’ll cover for you.” I told Akio and he took off slicing two of the guys in seconds. He didn’t need my help but I heard a squeal. It was Yua turning my attention to her. She was ok but Hikari was struggling and her goal was to protect her sister. One of the boys came charging at them. Hikari waved her hands in front of her causing the boy to turn into ice. He stood there frozen until Yua ran up to him punching him causing his body to shatter into pieces. While Akio went for Levi I ended up doing three headshots killing them instantly since they weren't worth my energy.

“Aghhhh.” I looked up to see Levi running for his life and Akio chasing him with his sword like a mad man.

“Akio!” he stopped and looked at me confused “Leave him be. Let's go. More members will be here any second!” I then looked towards the girls who were standing around catching their breath.“ You too since you're the ones who got us in this mess.” I walked away Akio right behind me. The girls are reluctant but they followed nonetheless.

“This is Bullshit.” I said to myself as I tried to think of my next step on how to approach this crazy ass situation.  

[aqua737]

Hi !! What advice can you give pluto in 12th house? This position scares me a little and my demons exult haha. Have a nice day! xx

therhi anon ^_^ this biggest thing to remember is that your placements are what you make them out to be, meaning you definitely have the power to look at a placement that is difficult and make the best of it. look at it as a chance for internal growth and bringing new perspectives to your community and world, okay? :))

now pluto represents the beginning and ending of life chapters, transformation, and of course, rebirth. with the planet in the 12th house, the house of the unseen/unknown and the nonphysical realm, you may be prone to hiding feelings, especially feeling of anger, in fear that you will not be understood. if this is the case, i suggest finding a healthy outlet to release emotions. one thing i like to do when i’m angry is just scribble really hard on a piece of paper. it really helps because i can do something physical without hurting anyone or anything. just because you don’t feel comfortable talking about feelings to others doesn’t mean it is okay to repress them completely. can also fall into drugs/alcohol as a means of escaping, so please remember, healthy coping mechanisms!!!!!! meditation, journaling, making art even if it’s bad, but do something that is beneficial to your mental health and well being. 

there is also an unseen power that this placement has; y’all are extremely powerful beings, but others and especially you do not realize this. i really do believe that meditation, even just being alone, can help you tap into your inner self. another thing: i think y’all would be good healers. i find y’all to be rather intuitive, so helping other people mend wounds or uncover hidden problems would be in your forte. however!!! you have to heal yourself before you can heal others. obviously it is a long and ongoing process, but i seriously believe that you are capable of much much more than you realize. so much hidden power and influence with this placement ugh. in conclusion, anon, remember three things: 1) you are going to be okay!!!! astrology is not end all, be all, so just because some interpret this as a “negative placement” does not mean that you’re done for. 2) healthy. coping. mechanisms. ONLY! i’m not tryna see anything other. in fact, implement them into your routine right now. 3) before you try and take care of anyone else, take care of yourself! you are equally important and deserve to have time to work on your own healing process before you throw your all into someone else. i hope this helped!! <3

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Also Hayley Kiyoko- Expectations for the andromaquynh album thing :)

Thank you so much :D !

Expectations x Andromaquynh

First of all, the AUs potential in this album... modern day Andromaquynh vibes through the roof!

“I walk through this world, just tryna be nice. They say I'll get hurt, if I'm not like ice. I know I've got friends, I still get so lonely. If I look in your eyes, I’ll want you to hold me” that’s the most Andy thing. however, i’m not sure if she over-communicates and feels too much... maybe the feelings

“All the back and forth getting complicated. Running me around got me frustrated” - Andy and Quynh, three thousand years ago, figuring things out, dumbasses in love. Luckily they figured it out and it turned into “We could be bigger and brighter than space. Ain't no running away. No, real loving is sure”

Sleepover is making me emotional. The yearning. But try not to think of Andy thinking “At least I got you in my head” for five hundred years

Mercy / Gatekeeper is an Andy song!!!! “Don't let me die. With my soul in the air. Don't let me die. When (my wife, Quynh) there's nobody here.” and it hurts!!!!

On the other hand... Under the blue / Take me in... Quynh’s song. i can’t elaborate. it’s the vibe

Okay. Curious. The AU potential is great, please think about it. Plus, Quynh definitely being the one to go “I'm just on the floor, I’m like a model.” and she’s right. but! consider: Andy takes Quynh to the pier in Santa Monica, and Quynh forgets to bring a jacket, wraps up in Andy cause she wanted to...

Andromache “I gave up feelings 5k years ago” the Scythian singing Wanna be missed to Quynh...

It’s extremely important that you consider Quynh singing “I'm the best you've ever had. Yeah, 'cause I'm sweet like that.”

“Pillars of my heart. Everything got shattered in the dark” -10/10. i do not recommend listening to Molecules. It hurts. Just picture Andy... “So what should I do? All that's left is molecules of you” and repeating “Make me feel again” again and again...

“'Cause I believe we're the ones who had it all. I believe we just had to learn to fall. I miss you, I love you, so it's really hard to see. Yeah, we just got to let it be. Let us see, be free” that is a beautiful ending and totally feels fitting for Andy and Quynh

[boriswhatthemotherfuck]

dark academia ask game!

the secret history 🏛: how close are you and your group of friends? how far would you all go to protect each other? how many languages do you speak?

i have two friend groups! both of them i completely adore and i have one friend who is in both. we are close in a way most teenagers are. i find that we all lack depth in our reltionships. my best friend, who is in neither group would be the friend id be willing to truly do anything for. i love my friends in my friend group dearly, but i would never do something against my own morals for them. I only speak English !

if we were villains 🎭: are you into theatre? who’s your favourite shakespeare character? would you or do you smoke weed or cigarettes?

yes! i’m a proud thespian! i do my fair share of acting and also the technical aspects (a focus in costumes). my favorite shakespeare character is definitely ophelia! i’ve wanted to play her since i was a child, but she simply doesn’t fit my look. i’ve never had a cigarette, but i’ve smoked week a couple of times. this feels weird to talk about on the internet.

dead poets society 🖋: do you prefer poetry or prose? do you get along with your parents? do you resist authority or do you deal well with it?

prose! prose! prose! my parental relationships are not great. at all. this feels weird to talk about on the internet. i think it depends on the authority? if i have respect for them then i deal with them well. if it’s just simply someone who is in charge and treats people poorly then i don’t deal with it so well. it gets me in trouble sometimes.

kill your darlings ⏳: would you consider yourself an intelligent person? have you ever fallen in love with someone who wasn’t right for you? tradition or innovation?

honestly? no. i shouldn’t be allowed in the dark academia community. i’m more street smart tham book smart, unless it’s usesless literature, theatre, or psychology knowledge. I find that i tend to fall in love (shut up moony. youve been in love once.) to people who i think are not on the same ~emotional maturity~ level as me. innovation!! all the way!

homer 📖: is it more important to be brave or to be kind? do you like to read?

oooo this is hard. i think sometimes kindness is brave. wo i eould have to say kindness. YES! i love reading.

cigarette 🚬: what is your worst habit? do you like drinking? do you party a lot?

i have quite a few bad habits. when ever i get nervous i bite the inside of my lip until it draws blood. i also have a emotional dependence on hot cheetos. i don’t party a lot. one or twice a year i’ll go to a party.

leaf 🍁: what is your favourite season? what is your favourite comfort food?

i love the winter time! i love snow and the cold. i know this isn’t really what this is asking.... but hot cheetos....

vermont ❄️: would you ever go to school far away from your family? are you scared of losing the people close to you?

i WANT to go to a school far away. I live in the US and all the schools i plan on applying to are at least three five states away. i’m scared of losing my best friend. i don’t think i could manage life without him.

wine 🍷: how far would you go to help yourself? what about to help other people? do you think humans are inherently selfish?

to be honest, i have a massive guilt complex so not that far unless im trying to make myself feel miserable. to help other people? it depends on the person. there are some people i would pull and oliver marks for. i do think humans are inherently selfish, but i do not think that it is a bad thing. selfishness drives “selflessness” and shit so.

piano 🎹: what’s your favourite musical genre? do you play any instruments? who’s your favourite artist?

indie pop, indie rock, alt rock, and whatever the fuck hozier is. i play some ukulele. MY FAVORITE ARTIST IS HOZIER. I LOVE HIS MUSIC. IT UNDERSTANDS ME.

whiskey 🥃: tell us about your first kiss. what quality would make you reject someone who asked you out?

it was with my current partner. it was terrible. (babe if you see this i love you im SORRY) we had just watched avengers endgame and i had a STRONG emotional connection to tony stark so i was casually bawling my eyes out when she mashed her face with my face. i had NO clue what i was doing and i was STILL crying. as for rejection, i am actually very picky. i identify as demisexual (please dont hate me if you dont believe in that. im jusst tryna live) so dating and romance has been a bit dofficult as im not attracted to someone else i know them. i think my eyes are broken. my brain too. so really i would reject anyone if i felt i didn’t know them enough. maybe that’s shitty of me.

murder 🔪: are you capable of getting very angry? what are you most afraid of? what would be the worst way to die?

yes but i dont like doing it. it makes me feel out of control. when im that mad i do things that me nornally wouldn’t approve of. my ass would 100% pull that james moment with wren. i am so afraid of actually being a shit person. i am a shit person. BUT I DONT LIKE HAVING THE REALIZATION. burning alive. it would suck to burn alive.

[raleighliving]

Pros and Cons of College Life in Raleigh

Last time I wrote about colleges in Raleigh generally and how it’s not like other college towns. This time, I’m gonna be speaking a bit more about the pros and cons so it should be a little more specific.

Before that, however, I wanna make this clear: Raleigh is not somewhere you should move to for college unless the school you’ve applied to is your dream school.  

In terms of academics, there are better choices than NC State or WPU. If you wanna study biology or medicine, schools like UNC-W or Duke would probably be a better fit for instance. If you live in Raleigh, don’t pick a school just because it’s close; if you live in another part of the states and you want to attend an east coast school there are options all along the east coast that you should consider.  

Raleigh is a great place to live and work, and there are plenty of friendly people here; but a degree from the right university can make or break your career (depending on the field and other aspects of course).

As a person suffering from anxiety, the question “Do you want the good news or bad news first” has always been a terrible one for me. Up until I hear the bad news, it could be literally anything regardless of what the person asking was doing or how much of the task they were on I’m familiar with.

Similarly, living in Raleigh (or really anywhere for that matter) is going to present a lot of subjective pros and cons. Please keep in mind this is gonna be super subjective, but I hope you enjoy reading this even if we disagree.

But you didn’t come here to read three paragraphs of disclaimer. So lets start by listing the good stuff.  

Raleigh is a city full of vibrant color, culture, and cool shit. You can find cool things almost anywhere you look, regardless of where you are in Raleigh. I mean, all of the pictures (including those in this article) I use for this blog I’ve taken in Raleigh or nearby it. As a result, the first pro has got to be the beltline highway system.  

The beltline is a highway system composed of I-440, I-40, and parts of I-540 that encapsulates all of Raleigh. It connects north and south Raleigh while having downtown in the center, letting travelers easily reach nearly any part of Raleigh. 

I’ve lived on the border of Durham, Cary, and Rolesville at different points in my life. I’ve had to make trips to Garner and Apex for various reasons. At no point in my 20+ year stay have I ever had to make a city trip that lasted longer than a half-hour (one way). It makes working in Raleigh especially easy, since the abundance of highway access points and the convenience of the loop design means I’m never too far from that loop. 

It even helps with adjusting to your new environment if you move here (for school or other reasons) since if you’re ever lost, the highways can act as a point to re-orient yourself by. I know I’ve had to do it plenty of times in the past, and it can really save you from looking like an idiot if you excuse your lost-ness by just saying “Oh yeah mate, I was just tryna get on the highway. Saves so much time.”

Does this mean Raleigh has the best transportation network of any city? Hell no. Does this mean that Raleigh has the best highway system? Not even close. But it’s still super nice, especially for students. You’ll run into the problems any urban place has like rush hour or crash delays, but this is mitigated by the fact you’ll be using it for our second pro: Everything happens in Raleigh. 

Well, not EVERYTHING everything but as I’ve ranted about before; there’s plenty to do and see in the city of Raleigh (even if you’re a student). 

For instance, according to raleighnc.gov, Raleigh is home to over 200 public parks. Not a fan of parks? Into more electronic entertainment? Then visit our very own “Arcade of Thrones” downtown and get your game on with your fellow nerds

Boring stuff like restaurants and night clubs aside, Raleigh is home to literally thousands of businesses and social clubs for you to partake in. Farmers markets, gun and knife shows, fishin’ holes and public church barbecues are available for that classic southern charm; but don’t forget to make use of our barcades, art festivals, concerts, comedy clubs and sport centers. 

The only reason why I’m not going into more detail about examples like First Friday, the downtown cultural festivals, PNC arena or other more specific events is because I want to write about them in-depth in the future.  

Of course, students having things to do and places to go is only part of the college experience. If you’re gonna come to Raleigh for college, the best pro I could possibly mention is the support network.  

Not to say that we’re exactly all one big happy family here, but in Raleigh you get that nice blend of metropolitan city life with your rural state. Orgs like the LGBT Center, Goodwill, Raleigh Missions, and more support locals in need constantly and provide for the many different groups around here.

Libraries and civic centers share the same city as mosques and churches which neighbor women's shelters and LGBT+ advocacy groups. If you’re a republican or democrat, that’s fine but be prepared to meet the other members of the political spectrum since groups like the Democratic-Socialists of America (DSA) are active downtown as well.

If you need help or want to help others, there’s a 98% chance that you’ll find someone or something out there that meets your needs. Join a community through Facebook or Nextdoor and you’ll see every diaper drive, garage sale, and community recommendation pop up whenever one is needed.

Of course, this brings us to our first con. Raleigh may be home to some of the nicest people I’ve ever met but it doesn’t mean you won’t run into some problem people sooner or later.  

There’s of course the typical collegiate douchebags, the upper-middle class young scions of no import who fumble through life with no regard for others because mommy and daddy will perpetually care for them, but being a red state you’ll also run into the more colorful republicans.

Every year there’s an anime convention called “Animazement” downtown and every year there’s a small herd of fundamentalist Christians warning all the otaku who’ll listen that they’re going to hell. Drive around town long enough and you’ll find a few different businesses that have made their opinions on things like masks and social distancing clear, not to mention there’s no shortage of QAnoners and alt-right sympathists. 

Of course, you shouldn’t let others dictate the quality of your life or the area you live in but you should be aware that these people exist. Raleigh is more liberal than other parts of North Carolina for sure but it’s not the leftist paradise those other parts would say it is.

Other than the coinflip that is neighbors, Raleigh is kind of a pricy place to live. The cost of living is on average higher than other cities in the US, cheaper still than New York of Californian cities, but pricey nonetheless.

Rent in Raleigh for a one bedroom apartment is on average $975 according to bestplaces.net and can go as high as $1200 depending on the complex and location. 

That, with a federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, means you’ll need 

>Multiple jobs >Multiple roommates >A good paying job

or any combination of the two to be able to afford rent, utilities, and food beyond cup ramen. There’s housing programs like Section 8 and military housing initiatives to help, but for students you’re looking at some pretty steep housing costs for anywhere that’s not student dorms. 

You can get a good job that pays decent, of course, nothing’s impossible. However, finding one that won’t require roommates would demand full time hours (which might be difficult to make on student scheduling) or a degree (which you’re probably at college to get). Most living spaces require you make at least 3x the advertised rent to even be considered as well, which may limit students to seedier student living complexes like University Village or The Proper (Formerly Vie, formerly wolf creek).

Finally, if you move to Raleigh for college be prepared to drive. A lot.

As I mentioned earlier, the beltline is a god send for students and people looking to explore; but it’s also practically mandatory for moving around Raleigh. Public transit in Raleigh isn’t non-existent but it’s pretty damn close.  

Live between 10-15 minutes from your desired destination? Taking the bus is gonna be anywhere from half an hour to a full hour, and that’s if you even live near a bus route. If you’re like myself and habitually on the edge of Raleigh, be prepared to drive for a bit before you even see a GoRaleigh bus let alone a stop. 

The buses do at least run pretty late (Closing normally around 11PM), but the lack of public transit lines and bike-able roads means that you’ll be adding to the urban congestion more likely than not.

Okay with driving? Hope you’re okay with paying another arm and a leg, because at most schools down here tuition doesn’t cover your parking pass. 

NC State prices range from $105 to over $400 depending on your credit hours and where you’re staying at. Other schools like William Peace only charge a flat $130 for their parking decal, but most of the schools require you throw them an extra Apple Pencil or two for the privilege of being able to park your own vehicle close to the actual campus.

There are workarounds, like parking off-campus nearby, but those carry risks and penalties that can add up over time. The audacity these schools have to take thousands in tuition and then demand that you pay and additional fee to just use the parking lot.

Hopefully, though, regardless of my thoughts if you live in Raleigh or North Carolina in general and you’re considering attending one of the fine establishments here; I’ve provided you some food for thought. 

College can be a scary experience for many, and the area around it can really make or break your experiences. We don’t have the biggest party schools or the most glamorous cityscape; but if I had to go through the collegiate system again I honestly couldn’t imagine doing it anywhere else.

Next time I’ll be talking about some alternatives to College though, so stay tuned for that.  

Special shout out to the DSA of Raleigh as well. They didn’t help write any of this or communicate with me during the production of this article, but they’ve been doing some amazing work downtown with the homeless during the pandemic.  They are some of the most amazingly hard working individuals who care immensely for the community and you can check them out on dsanc.org.

[theblackandgold-series]

The Prince and The Boy (8)

Chapter 8: He Needs Me

A College AU

Texas Southern University (Houston,Tx)

Ship: Chiron Harris x Erik Stevens

Warning(s): none

Things were finally back to normal. Chi and Erik are sitting next to each other in their sociology class once again, both eating breakfast that Erik got for them. Erik remembered to get two apple juices instead of one this time.

Chi’s bashfulness seemingly fades over time, exchanging more and more of those longing glances with Erik throughout the class.

Erik notices every glance Chi makes, smiling to himself each time. They’re joking around with each other and Erik gets to see Chi’s personality a little bit more. Before class is over, the professor reminds the class of an exam next week. Erik takes this opportunity to ask Chiron on another date. It’s not too soon, he thinks, Right?

“I have a class right after this, but maybe after that?”

Erik agrees, suggesting that they meet at a coffee shop near campus.

We can do that cute shit like in the movies.

They meet by a bench near a building close to the edge of campus, greeting with a small peck, which almost makes Chi blush. As they walk, their hands keep brushing until Erik grabs Chi’s hand, smirking at him as they walk. 

They make small talk, flirting back and forth. Erik notices that the more they talk, the bolder Chi gets. It shocks Erik, but he likes it. As they’re talking and getting to know each other more, things seem to fall together naturally and you’d think they’ve known each other for years from overhearing their conversation. 

They finally get to the coffee shop where Erik orders a black coffee while Chi orders a soy chai latte. I guess he has a sweet tooth. Erik nods silently to himself, Noted.

They pick up their drinks and sit down and continue talking. Erik loads his black coffee with enough sugar to kickstart diabetes. I knew he had a sweet tooth Chi muses. 

They get so lost in conversation that they almost forget the whole reason that they’re there: to study. Chi the one that gets them on track by being the first one to take out his textbook first and Erik quickly follows.

Their study session lasts for about an hour and a half before Chance walks in with his girlfriend. Erik looks up when he hears “I see you E!” Chi just smiles up at him, shaking his head.

When they approach the 3 hour mark, they wrap up their study date and decide to head home. Walking to their cars, they begrudgingly part with a goodbye kiss and go their separate ways. The next day they spend apart, but still keep in touch through text. Chi offers to bring Erik breakfast to class next time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chi spends the next day with Kendall, telling her about him and Erik. She immediately facetimes Bryson so he can hear too.

“So,” Kendall begins,  “y’all good now?” Chi just nods “Yeah” with a smile that can’t be wiped off of his face, “we’re good.”

“So what’s next with you two?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see, but I think this is gonna be good. For the first time in a long time, I’m excited.”

“I’m happy for you. It feels so good to see you smiling again” Kendall gets up to hug him.

Bryson chimes in “Yeah man, it’s good to see you happy. I’m glad you talked to him so I ain’t have to fight you.”

“He asked me out on another date soon,” Chi announces, smiling thinking about their phone convo from a few nights ago, “to a concert.”

“Oh shit, whose concert?” Kendall asks as she lets him go and sits back down.

“Kendrick.”

“Kendrick?? This nigga got taste,” Bryson comments, “But what row is it?” 

“It doesn’t matter, Bryson,” Kendall interrupts.

“Man, y’all know that nigga got money.” Bryson continues. This earns a roll of the eyes and a “shut up” from Kendall.

“When’s the date?” she inquires and Chi checks his phone, “Saturday, I think.”

“Y’all doin anything after,” Bryson chimes in once again. “No, I don’t think so. We might go eat or something, but we might do that beforehand.” “No, I mean are y’all doin anything after?”

“Bryson, really?”

“It’s a valid question.“

“Why did I even call your ass” Kendall sighs, knowing he wasn’t going to be serious. “Anyways, I hope you two enjoy your date!” 

“Thank you, Ken.” 

“Yeah, all jokes aside,” Bryson continues, “enjoy your date, have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  

“I would never do half the shit you do.”  

Bryson jokingly holds a hand over his heart, “I’m hurt.”

“You’ll be alright nigga.” Bryson laughs at Chi’s response as Chi turns to Kendall. “Ken can you help me get ready for this date Saturday?” 

Bryson helped him get ready for the last one. He’s nervous but more excited this time. He’s just happy that Erik still wants him even after Chi cut him off for that period of time.   

“Of course. Anything you need.” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their last sociology class of the week was finally over and Chi and Erik are walking out of class together, being almost nauseatingly cute, when Erik sees Chance and Khalil, who he is supposed to meet up with before practice. 

“I’ll text you when I get out of practice” Erik pulls Chi into hug, hugging him until he hears Chance clear his throat. “You’ll see him tomorrow. I’m not tryna be late.”  

Erik gives Chance the stank eye and turns back to Chi and gives him a long kiss, just to spite him. 

Chi laughs into the kiss. “Y’all niggas annoying,” Chance shakes his head. “We’ll see you later Chi,” Khalil butts in as Chance pulls Erik away from Chi.   

During their walk to practice, Chance and Khalil are teasing Erik, but it doesn’t work since Erik’s not even mildly embarrassed. Nothing could embarrass him when it comes to Chi. He’s smiling the whole time. While they’re getting ready for practice, their locker room talk consists of Erik beaming about the date he has planned for him and Chi. 

“So where are y’all going for this date?” Khalil inquires as he puts on his equipment. 

“I’m taking him to go see Kendrick. We were listening to him one time in the car, and I thought it would be a good idea.” 

“Nigga, you ain’t take your best friends to a concert,” Khalil smacks his teeth. 

“Really,” Chance questions, “That’s what you’re focused on right now?” 

“Thank you, Chance.” Erik replies. “I mean,” Chance continues, “It would’ve been nice to get an invite, but whatever.”  

“When y’all gon buy something for me?” Erik looks up at both of them.   

“When we got your type of money.”

“You too bougie for us,” they both say simultaneously. 

“Fuck outta here” The three continue their conversation, unknowingly making Sean privy to the details of Erik and Chi’s Friday night plans. 

Once practice is over, Erik spends his night preparing for the date and talking to Chi until he falls asleep. Neither of them could wait for the next day to come.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beginning of Erik’s Friday is spent running errands and getting ready for the concert. Chi is at his apartment with Kendall that night doing the same thing.

Chi’s not as freaked out this time, but he’s still a little nervous. He keeps on fixing his shirt, checking his hair, which leads to Kendall to putting a hand on each of his shoulders and trying to get him to relax. 

“If you brush your damn waves one more time,” Kendall grabs his brush, “calm down Chi.”

“Whatchu mean? I am calm.” He takes his brush from her and brushes his hair again to mess with her. 

Kendall gives him that look that says “you a whole lie”.

“I am calm, Ken” Chi smacks his teeth. 

“Okay,” Kendall decides to let it go, “You’re gonna have fun tonight.” He nods, “I hope so.” 

“You better tell me how this date goes too” He laughs, “you sound like somebody mama.”

“Mmhmm. Tell him to have yo ass home by 11, since you wanna be so smart.”

“I said you sound like somebody mama, you ain’t my mama.” She slaps his shoulder and he laughs.

“I mean it, nigga. Don’t have too much fun” 

“Aight, mother dearest.” 

Before the banter can continue, a knock interrupts their conversation. Chi and Kendall exchange a look “Speak of the devil.”

“I'll answer the door,” Kendall shrieks as she runs to open the door for Erik. “What’s up,” Erik greets, met with Kendall’s face, “Kendall right?” She nods and he smiles as he sees Chi walking up, “Hey Chi, you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He walks out with Erik right beside him and looks back to Kendall, “I’ll talk to you later. Don’t forget to lock up.” 

“I won’t. Have fun, but not too much fun.” She says teasingly before closing the door behind them

Erik grabs Chi’s hand as they walk to his car. He opens the door for Chi and when he’s seated he closes it and walks around to his side.

After Erik gets in and closes the door, there’s a small, comfortable silence as they both look at each other, actually taking in one another. Erik takes a deep breath,, “Are you ready?”

Chi smiles and nods, “Yeah, I'm ready.”

“Bet.” Erik pulls out of the parking lot and they’re off to the venue. It’s a little ways away, so Erik takes this time to bring up something important. Something that will affect his time with Chi.

“So,” he begins, “you know how I want to make sure we communicate with each other?” Erik turns the music down and turns to Chi as they approach a red light. 

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“So I'm already busy with football, you understand that.” He starts off, Chi nods and waits for him to continue. “But soon, I’ll be real busy with something important.... and during the process, I won't be around as much. I just want to let you know before you think something’s wrong.”

“How long does it take?”

“Could be around 3 weeks.” 

“So would we have no communication at all or...? How does this work?”

“We’ll still talk to each other and we still have class together, just outside of class I’ll be caught up at practice and being on-line. I’ll make sure to still call you and text you, don’t worry. You gotta promise me you won’t tell anyone else until the show.” Chi nods in agreement, “I promise.”

Chi’s gone through periods of time where Sean would just stop talking to him with no good explanation. He doesn’t want Erik to do the same to him, but he’s glad that Erik is telling him ahead of time. It eases his mind and convinces him either more that this thing with Erik is different.

“I don't want you worrying about that tonight, but I needed to tell you that so you’re not surprised.” Erik tells him his future plans and what’s to come for him as to why he’ll be so busy, Chi understands. He knows he’ll hate being away from Erik but it’ll all work out.  

They eventually get to the venue, listening to a rap playlist during the ride there, and walk inside to get to their seats. They sit close to the front which doesn’t surprise Chi. Erik’s the type to go all out for people he cares for. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After an amazing concert,  they get in the car they turn their phones back on. The barrage of notifications includes an instagram post that Erik was tagged in. When he opens the app, he sees Chi was tagged as well. And who other than Sean to tag them in some cryptic ass post with Kendrick lyrics and a thirst trap picture.

But it was such a pleasure to watch you try to hold it together                      

Every time I put the head in you would panic

And come right down like an avalanche

Make your legs slant, whisper till you juicing up your pants

He chooses to ignore it for the sake of Chi, but Chi can sense he’s upset about something.

“What’s wrong with you?” 

Erik tries to shake it off, “It’s nothing,” he grabs Chi’s hand to hold and rubs his thumb along the back of it, shooting Chi a small smile, “It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Everything’s good with you here.”

He kisses the back of Chi’s hand before driving off. They pull up to a diner that looks promising and walks inside. After they get seated, Chi decides to go through his notifications and comes across the dreaded instagram post, smiling falling from his face.

Erik immediately what Chi was looking at. Chi lets out a deep sigh “I can’t win with this nigga, man.”

“Ignore it, Chi. He ain’t worth it. We’re gonna enjoy the rest of the night. just talking”

Chi tries his best to shake it off too, but, just like Erik, it keeps lingering at the back of his mind. Other than that hiccup, the rest of the date goes smoothly. When they finish their food, Chi turns to Erik. “Thank you Erik, I had a good time tonight” 

“I’m glad. I had a good time, too.” Neither of them want the night to end, but it’s getting late and, although neither of them had anything to do the next day, they were both still tired.

Chi yawns and rubs his eyes, “Someone’s getting sleepy,” Erik jokes. “Come on, so I can get you home. It’s getting late”

Chi just gives him a sleepy nod and they leave after Erik quickly pays the bill. The ride home is filled with comfortable silence.

Erik plays his music low this time as Chi closes his eyes during the ride home. Erik chuckles to himself as he looks over to Chi who’s fighting sleep, but he keeps wanting to rest his eyes. He can’t remember if he snores and/or drools in his sleep or not and that’s the only thing keeping him from falling asleep at the moment. After a while, he actually lets himself fall asleep to the sound of the quiet music that Erik raps along to. 

Erik sneaks a couple looks at Chi through the drive. When he pulls up to Chi’s apartment, he’s tempted to take a picture of him sleeping, but he doesn’t. He figures this won’t be the first time he’ll see Chi sleeping.

“Chi, we’re back at your place” Erik tries to gently wake him up. “Baby boy you gotta wake up.”

Chi finally flutters his eyes open, letting out a “huh?” in his disoriented state.

“You’re home,” Erik laughs a bit. Chi sees that the lights are still on which meant that Kendall’s still there. He knows she’s probably going to end up spending the night like she always does. 

“Your best friend is still here?” Chi nods, “She’s always here. I feel like she’s my roommate at this point,” he chuckles as he gets out and stretches a bit. Erik also gets out and walks over to Chi’s side. Hugging him tight. “I’m glad you enjoyed tonight”

“I’m glad that you asked me out.” Chi’s trying to figure out if that little nap in the car would cause him to have morning breath because he wants to go in for a kiss. 

Erik sees how hesitant he’s being and goes in for the kiss anyway

Chi’s worries about his breath, Sean, everything, just melt away and he melts right into the kiss.

Erik pulls away first and pecks his lips one last time. “And don’t worry about that nigga, Sean, okay? He just trying to get under your skin” 

“Please don’t do anything crazy, Erik. Like you said, he’s not worth it” 

“I hear you, baby boy.”

Erik pulls him into another hug, this time holding him for a while. “I’ll probably call you tomorrow or some shit” Chi nods and yawns again. “Let me let you get some sleep.” He kisses his forehead and watches as Chi walks into his apartment. 

“Text me when you get home,” 

”I will,” Erik promises, “Now go to bed.” 

Chi turns and makes his way to his door. “Sweet dreams!” He yells before Chi can close the door

Chi waves as he walks in, he sees Kendall sleep on the couch with the TV on 

he turns it off, and she wakes up, eyeing him as he stands in front of the tv. “I was watching that, Nemour.” 

“Nah, the TV was watching you, Lorraine.” She flips him off and he laughs. 

Kendall’s alert now as she thinks to ask about his night. “Tell me all about the date.” She grabs his hand as he puts the remote down on the coffee table. He shakes his head, “I’ll tell you in the morning, sis.”

He’s ready to hop in bed, she smacks her teeth. “I promise I’ll tell you everything in the morning, okay?” Kendall gives in and lets Chi go to bed. As soon as he gets in the room, he strips out of his clothes and sits down on the edge of his bed.

A few minutes later, Erik texts him saying he’s made it home. Chi smiles and lays down, mind going through the events of the night, finally settling on the goodnight kiss before drifting off to sleep.

He tries to ignore the Sean mess, trying to focus instead on everything that went right tonight instead of the one less than savory parts of the evening. 

Erik’s up reflecting on his night, he’s happy the date was a success. He got to see one of his favorite rappers with his favorite guy. As far as he was concerned, his relationship with Chi was all that mattered.

@wakandas-vibranium  @bartierbakarimobisson @randomwordprompts@storibambino @theultimateblacknerdwithglasses @stressedgyal  @great-neckpectations @wakandan-flowerz @blackgirloneshots @panthergoddessbast @maya-leche @texasbama @killmongerdispussy @yaachtynoboat711 @hearteyes-for-killmonger @erikaintdead @blackmissmarvel @blackpantherislife @awkwardlyabstract @blowmymbackout @forbeautyandlife @babygirlofwakanda @theunsweetenedtruth  @icedcawfee @killmongersgurl @babybluepeaches @eriknutinthispoosy

[bianca-christine]

This is the video Terre shared with us on instagram, I had watched it a few years back when I was on a motivational video binge, she is the reason I stopped getting my nails done. Terre inspired me to watch it again, and I want to share with you the things that stood out the most to me. Hopefully you all get a chance to watch it and share your thoughts as well !

“Everything I need to get back up, I have in me, If I don't have what I need, I can go get it.”

“Hurt people hurt, sad people make other people sad.”

“You want to make me extraordinary, because it lets you off the hook.”

“We are all waiting for perfect, it's an illusion that will never come to you, it's an excuse to never show up and play.”

“Good people should do well, because when good people do well, good people just do more good in the world.”

“I was willing to completely die to any from of me that I have been, so that I could birth the women that I was becoming.”

“Another reason why people won’t get there is because the doorway is for you to fit through, You tryna carry everyone else through cause you tryna be rescue 911 and you gotta rescue you first. I am much more valuable to my family and to my community because I was willing to let them go, go through the door myself, teach myself, condition myself and then come back and get them. I am much more valuable to them now”

I relate to this particularly when it comes to my mom. My mom is not exactly financially stable, and I feel the pressure to help her out beyond  my means. I sometimes feel like I can barley take care of me, I may not be able to help as much as I would like now but I am working towards a better future for us.

“I don't ever want to think I arrived”

“I went to people that was about serving others to the highest level, you see I make a lot of money, because I serve more people. All your success is on the other side of service. People trying to make money; if it begins and ends with money, it's going to be a short lived victory, but if its about transforming lives, then the wind keeps going and going and growing and growing.”

“I was willing to be the student first, ... number two: I looked at every toxic behavior in my life, every one”

“If you wake up everyday and say; I have nothing to protect, I have nothing to prove, I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to defend. Now who do I choose to be? Because your energy is consumed  with protecting, proving, hiding and defending, but if you let go of that, then now you're in creation.”

“You want someone celebrate you, more than you celebrating yourself.”

“The world is looking at  you and following your example on how to treat you.”

“I was everything for everybody, but nothing for myself.”

“I started everyday celebrating Lisa, forgiving Lisa, and making a commitment to Lisa, and then I was wiling to invest money in ME ..., literally.”

“I was willing to inconvenience my entire life, ...I was willing to disrupt my entire life to buy my future, to buy my possibility, to give my dream a chance. See we’re not supposed to tuck our dreams in on the pillow when we get up in the morning, were not supposed to leave them at home and go and fulfill someone else's dream, were not supposed to do that, that's not what we are wired to do, that's not who we are. Your HUMAN SPIRIT doesn't care about the economy, the human spirit doesn't care that my sons father went to prison, the human spirit doesn't care what happened to your family, the human spirit doesn't care about the past...Your HUMAN SPIRIT doesn't care about any of that! Your HUMAN SPIRIT simply says ‘What’s our command for tomorrow? What do you want to create?...’”

“Im just here to tell you JUMP! Because only  three things can happen; your either going to jump and fly, or you're going to jump and fall on something soft, or you're either going to fall and land on something hard, either way you're going to get back up.”

“Your Greatest fear is not that you will fall, your greatest fear is the you will live a full life and never fly.”

“Money just buys better memories”

“I was willing to be incovenienced for my conviction, If you go where you’ve never gone, do what you’ve never done and say what you’ve never said, you’ll become the woman and the man you’ve always known yourself to be.”

“To make sleeping and complacency, difficult.”

“Other people’s perception of you ain’t none of your business, its your job to do the best you possible and in doing you, you inspire us.”

Stop wasting your time on what others think of you 

“You are an unrepeatable miracle”

“He’s going to find his best lessons in his biggest mistakes. so don't be afraid of mistake”

“I love transformation more than I love motivation”

“An exercise called Expose the Lies” (40:23)

16 blank sheets of paper 

Write down a list of lies in pencil and leave space between each lie

Write down every lie you tell yourself (just about money)

Write down all the lies you have told yourself about who you are

Write down all the lies you have told yourself about relationship{romantic, family, friends) 

Write down all the lies you tell yourself around health and fitness

Write down every all the lies you tell yourself around your spirituality

Write the truth down in between each lie (even if you can't believe it yet, in red pen)

Read for two days at least x4 a day; The lie the truth, the lie, the truth (neurolinguistic programming)

After the second day, erase the lie, so then you are just left with the truth

“Run after it like your late for work”

“It’s not anyones job to complete you”

“Consciousness is very important but it means nothing without action.”

“Action is the prescription to success.”

“We use try as a crutch to say i really don't want to do it, but I don't want to tell you now”

“The truth is sexy, and it's liberating, and it's sobering.”

“Some of us are just as afraid of being loved as we are afraid of being left, can you give the world permission to leave you and love you”

abundancenowonline.com