#the thought of diying is not a distant one but i know who i am and i wont keep track of like labs or other shit like that by myself

[blasphamoustraitors]

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[mana-jjk]

tw: lisa frankenstein spoilers, jjk implied spoilers, violence, implied suicide, horror themes, im not kidding this is a hilariously violent movie, bullying, non-explicit loss of limbs, you know the works

I AM THE SPIRIT OUTSIDE RATTLING YOUR WINDOWS

i watched lisa frankenstein and immediately thought of inuokko because i am entirely not normal !! the greatest part is that this story would work both ways so just sprint with me right now

my preference for insane yuuta is entirely prevalent btw

option 1:

yuuta’s entire family moves after the sudden death of his childhood friend to give him a fresh start. he struggles to find a place to belong in school, and struggles even more in the bad relationship with his parents. his little sister is one of his last positive relationships and tries her best to keep him included. he spends most of his time in an abandoned ceremony, at a grave of a boy who died at his age, accused of witchcraft.

he has a parasocial relationship with him in that he’s absolutely obsessed with the concept of a loner, rejected by society, just like him. and spends hours just talking to him, taking care of his grave, and staring at his statue like a weirdo !

after a party gone wrong, where he drank spiked punch and after being pestered about a girlfriend, he goes back to the cemetery in time to see the beloved grave get struck by lightning. hence toge rising from the dead, confused but recognizing yuuta’s voice from being the only person to talk to him. his throat is damaged from being hanged, some of his skin has been damaged enough to see the bone, and he’s missing an arm.

yuuta hides him in his room, and toge hears everything. one night, after a particularly bad one-sided argument between yuuta and his father, toge thought he was going to hurt the only person to be kind to him. so for the first time since he died, he used his abilities and killed the man. immediately after he was remorseful and afraid yuuta would hate him, but he got the exact opposite reaction. yuuta was so touched that someone would go to such lengths for him, and strangely delighted by the gruesome scene. enough to where he wanted to recreate it.

so yuuta starts picking off the people who bullied him, harvesting what toge needs to be put together again. they diy a lab with lightning and every time toge looks more and more alive until you couldn’t tell him apart from any other person. he gets more confident in school too, becoming friends with maki and panda who see him as a little weirdo. in the process, yuuta falls in love with him beyond the parasocial relationship of before, especially when toge accepts his new murderous habits so easily.

eventually they’re found out after yuuta ends the second parental figure and his sister walks in on him. she’s devastated, traumatized, and runs out of the house covered in blood. he decides then to join toge and so they can start a new life together. a few months later, they’re not even a thought in anyone’s mind, except for his sister who keeps their existence a secret, living with their uncle gojo.

option 2:

toge has just moved in with a distant relative after the last of his immediate family was murdered. the trauma of witnessing their deaths led to his already selective mutism to complete silence. he is bullied at his new school, especially since he doesn’t defend himself. his classmates maki and panda take him under their wing, but he spends most of the time at the cemetery.

it’s quiet there, abandoned and full of greenery. there’s also a grave of a boy who died of a broken heart after a life of sadness. he spends a lot of time there, just sitting alone and keeping company to this lonely boy. he leaves behind a handmade charm, hoping to give him a little peace. it’s something he hopes someone might care enough to do for him someday. he’s already planning to request his very own burial at this peaceful place.

panda invites him to go to a party, but after being harassed about his voice and separated from his friends, he ends up stumbling home, half-drunk from an awful concoction. it’s there that he finds yuuta, fresh from the grave. he’s missing an eye, ear, leg, and covered in cuts that crisscross across his face and chest. in his hands, he holds the charm toge made for him. after a mini freak out, he cleans him up and hides him in his room. yuuta talks in slurring words but his eyes are full of wonder at the kindness he gives him. he follows him like a hobbling lost puppy, nearly getting him caught several times.

it’s when one of the biological, older, slightly bum kids who has been harassing toge since he came that he moves to protect him. he doesn’t even hesitate before he’s bursting out of the closet to strangle him. afterwards, they take his leg and toge sews it onto yuuta, who almost looks up at him like he’s waiting for approval. toge knows it was wrong, should tell him not to do it again, but part of him couldn’t help but feel protected for the first time in his life. and yuuta, who was so kind to him, was still suffering, wasn’t he? so maybe he couldn’t help but notice that one of his bullies has striking silver eyes.

it’s not hard to lure them, and yuuta takes care of the rest. diligently, toge replaces the lost parts until yuuta looks just as alive as he does. in return, yuuta encourages him to stop hiding his face, enough to where others begin to notice him. the moment yuuta is complete, he swings toge around until he laughs and then kisses him.

they aren’t actually caught before they leave, they both want to start over, and hearing that toge is a suspect is enough for them to book town. he decides to join yuuta, it works as now everyone thinks he’s dead. the only person with their suspicions is maki, who visits his grave with panda regularly, and sees the charm she knows toge made.

listen to me very carefully when i tell you we NEED more dark inuokko, and by that i do not mean sadness. i physically cannot read angst without a happy ending. i mean unhinged, crazy, mutually obsessed inuokko that don’t burn each other, they just burn the world around them. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT !!

also please watch lisa frankenstein, scream about this with me in my asks, and share your dark inuokko fic ideas !!

[mysteriawrites]

hello friend 🩶 interested in trying out your anime idol matchups!

appearance: afab ; 155 cm / 5’1” ; hourglass to pear shaped ; very pale (burns easily) ; baby-faced, button nose, single dimple on right cheek when smiling ; big green eyes, long eyelashes ; hair is naturally wavy and light ash brown almost always styled with bangs, literally yesterday i cut it from mid back length to a pixie cut ; i bleach and dye my hair often but it is currently my natural color ; 5 piercings in one ear, 4 + an industrial in the other, and a navel piercing.

personality: distant, generally respectful of others but not necessarily kind/sweet, somewhat apathetic, logical, intelligent, calm under pressure, extremely independent, confident and self-secure (sometimes arrogant), blunt, pretty sassy/snarky, not very ambitious, a moderate risk-taker. broad sense of humor, playful w/ friends, very teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, a natural troublemaker/rulebreaker, comfortable with confrontation, a bit combative with authority and those who irritate me but is generally easygoing, surprisingly low impulse control.

hobbies: video games (tactics, RPGs, visual novels), anime, drawing (mostly digital), painting, baking, cosplay, writing, reading (fantasy, suspense/thriller, psychological), caring for houseplants, home/decor DIY projects, hiking, jogging, thrill-seeking activities (adrenaline junkie).

fav color: dark forest green OR sage green.

fav animal: cats in general, especially tigers. however, i'm often associated with frogs (and i love them a lot).

aesthetic: grunge.

fashion style: casual to alternative. more on the masculine side (rarely wears dresses/skirts, but i do love short shorts), color scheme is black/gray/muted green. i like to wear fishnets, flannels, graphic tees, leather jackets, bomber jackets, torn leggings/pants, combat boots, high top sneakers. socks are either black or very colorful/patterned. i enjoy wearing sweatpants and hoodies when lounging at home.

one random fact: i am so easily motion sick that i can get sick in a car or on the swings within a few minutes.

Hihi thx for requesting i hope u like it.

An: for anyone who doesn’t know pripara lore basically young girls and boys are gifted a special object that grants them passage to a magical idol world and transforms them into their ideal idol selves.

Name: Raven

Franchise: Pripara

Idol Type: Cool

How you became an Idol: At first you wanted to be in a band not become an idol. You had been practicing for years and wanted to make it big, but not for fame or money. It was the thrill of being on stage that you were after. The heat of the spotlight on you, the booming of the music through the speakers, and best of all the adrenaline from the cheering fans there to enjoy what you had to offer. Sadly it was hard for you to join any music groups that vibed with you. One day while practicing (instrument of your choice) you noticed a piece of paper stuck to it: It was a pripara ticket with your name on it. You went to the local prism stone and entered the world of pripara where you were completely transformed into the ideal version of yourself. You booked your first performance and the crown loved the new take you brought to being an idol. This marks the beginning of your rise to the top!

Brand Name: Emerald Spear

Your Choords:

Your Songs:

An: Hope you like it i tried to make the choords fit ur style and aesthetic but there were so many that i thought were just so epic that i added them in (also because ur a mutual and you’ve given me so many good matchups in the past i gave you a few extra songs)

[pretentious-blonde]

Hello hello! I'm here for the Attack On Titan matchup :) You can post publicly, but please keep my info private and tag @vai3-writes

First off, I'm a she/her female, and I would prefer a male match, preferably not Zeke, Jean or Floch.

I'm an Aries sun, Leo moon, and Gemini rising, my MBTI type is ENTJ, while my enneagram type is 8w7.

I'm 168cm-ish tall and have an athletic/curvy build. My style is mostly "clean girl" or streetwear, but I also enjoy wearing dresses and skirts. I'm a gold girl and I like, by others described as "overly sweet" perfumes.  My most worn colors are white for tops and grey for bottoms. I'm a brunette and my hair reaches my upper thigh.

Personality-wise, I'm extroverted and loud, but not obnoxiously so. I'm very loyal to my friends and family and willing to do everything to protect them. But there is only a very small number of people I've trusted fully throughout my life. If people betray my trust, even if they apologize I will forever be somewhat "wary" and distant from them. I am very opinionated and like to discuss/debate many different topics like politics or religion. I enjoy talking in general, but I also love listening to people talk about their interests. I'd describe myself as a very fun and open-minded person, but I have some strict values, rules, and morals for myself that I am not willing to breach, no matter what. I'd say that I balance acting based on emotion or logic. I enjoy helping people out and leading them, but one thing I despise is being ordered around. I am also a person, that would much rather do a whole project by myself than have to hand in something I'm not 100% proud of, things like my academic achievements are incredibly important to me. My humor is mostly composed of sarcasm, exaggerations, banter, and joking bullying of my friends (only if reciprocate it). I'm overall very respectful of people I meet for the first time, but I build opinions on people very quickly. And while I like making people happy I would only very rarely put someone's (if not super close to me) needs above mine.

I am confrontational and find justice very important, I don't start arguments often, but when I hear someone say something that goes against my beliefs directly to me, I will most likely argue with said person. During arguments, I tend to get loud and somewhat agitated when people decide to ignore facts. I enjoy being around my friends, but I need alone time to function properly. When I dislike someone or don't understand someone's behavior, I like to analyze it and discuss it with somebody. I can't handle people without common sense or people who act obnoxious, stupid, condescending, fake, or arrogant. 

A negative trait for me would be that I sometimes have a sense of superiority over others, not in an arrogant way but more off in an "I know better than you", which I show by doing, as I already said, stuff like group work by myself. I have also been told by people that they've been intimidated to talk to me at first, and thoughts I’d be “bitchy” before actually talking to me.

My Love Languages are mostly quality time and gift-giving. As for date activities, I like going to small restaurants/cafes, hiking, gaming, exploring new cities, riding bikes, going out on walks, going to concerts,  trying DIY's together, karaoke, or (ceramic) painting.

My Hobbies include playing piano, gaming, doing my makeup, reading, painting, running, dancing, listening to music, buying books and reading them a year later, baking, and since recently also writing. 

My Likes include going to concerts, cleaning and reorganizing my space, cats, dressing up, iced matcha latte/iced coffee, the color pink, Black Butler, watching Horror Movies with friends, watermelon, strawberry, and mango, trying new things (experiences/games/foods..), philosophical discussions, the feeling of crisp, new linen, genshin impact, cod, dbd, valo, assassins creed and resident evil, history esp. Salem Witch Trials, Nordic mythology, Regency, the Victorian Era and Medieval times, True crime podcasts/books, my nerdy friends ranting about their interests, classical authors like Dostoevsky or Jane Austen, plushies, getting manicures, and redecorating my room.

My Music taste is very mixed I listen/listened to pretty much anything at some point in time, but my most streamed artists as of late include Nicki Minaj, Lana del Rey, Alec Benjamin, Sexy Red, and Apache 207.

My Dislikes include people who are book smart but lack common sense, condescending and arrogant people, people who treat others like children, impatient people, people who don't give their best and then complain,  people who tell me others that they just got "lucky" when spoken to about someone's achievements, people who value strength over intelligence, people who when gossiping just insult someone's looks and not their behavior, drunk/rowdy people, insects that are not spiders or moths, high humidity, greasy hair, small spaces (where you can feel every wall touching you), following rules even if it hinders you, controlling people, pessimistic people, delusional people, when people instantly think that they know better than me and unnecessarily rude people.

Fun facts about me are that I speak 3 languages fluently, Russian, German, and English. I'm currently studying French and trying to improve my Arabic. I have a really good memory, I'm hypermobile and can bend many of my joints very weirdly. I did ballet for 10 years and judo for 2. I'm fairly good at everything I try, I know the full lyrics to a lot of songs even if I haven't listened to them since forever, I want to have a home library someday, whenever I count I automatically switch to Russian, I have a tea collection and I'm a night owl.

Thank you for reading and I apologize for any mistakes, xx

You sound like such a sweetheart, I hope you like it!

I think Armin Arlert would work so well with you! Armin’s thoughtful and kind nature complements your confident, loyal, and extroverted personality. The two of you would be a mix of strength and sensitivity and would be honestly adorable, kind of like an opposites attract kind of thing, in certain ways. Armin is known for his intelligence, curiosity, and a kind heart that often guides his decisions. He would be completely captivated by your strong personality, confident demeanour, and your unwavering loyalty to those you care about. It is something he deeply admires and is sometimes a tad jealous of your confidence! He admires people who have a strong sense of justice, and moral compass, and he would find your willingness to stand up for what you believe in inspiring. He would also appreciate your ability to balance logic and emotion, as it aligns with his thoughtful and introspective nature.

Your shared love for deep, meaningful conversations would lead to endless hours of discussion! Armin would love to listen to your opinions and debates, especially on topics like history, philosophy, and morality. He’s someone who enjoys understanding different perspectives, and he would be fascinated by your well-articulated arguments and passionate stances. In return, he’d share his insights and theories, never making you feel undervalued if you need to ask some more questions. Honestly, he loves exploring them with you! I could so imagine you two roaming around new cities and finding various hidden gems. He would be thrilled to do this with you, hand in hand, as you both discover quaint cafes, hidden bookstores, and local museums. With your adventurous spirit and his curiosity, every outing would feel like a new adventure! Armin would especially enjoy visiting historical sites with you, where you both could immerse yourselves in stories of the past, discuss historical events, and share your love for Nordic mythology, the Victorian era, and other historical periods that fascinate you both. Your face lighting up as you do this just makes it so much better too. 

One of his favourite things is to just spend time alone with you in a cosy corner of a library, surrounded by towering shelves filled with books. He would love to sit next to you, each of you engrossed in your own reading but occasionally sharing passages that you find interesting. He would admire your dedication to academic achievements and your love for classical authors like Dostoevsky and Jane Austen. Together, you basically create a mini book club. He is always down for any DIY projects you suddenly come up with. Being a gentle soul who would find joy in simple, creative activities that allow for meaningful interaction is his idea of bliss. He’d love to join you in trying out DIY or ceramic painting. Picture the two of you at a small pottery studio, laughing as you paint your mugs or bowls, teasing each other about your artistic skills (or lack thereof!). These little moments of creativity and light-hearted banter would bring you closer together!

Armin has a poetic soul and loves to think about the universe and life’s deeper questions. He would adore a night spent stargazing with you, lying on a blanket under the open sky, as you both share your thoughts, dreams, and fears. Your love for philosophical discussions would shine here, and Armin would listen intently as you talk about your beliefs. These quiet, intimate moments would strengthen your emotional connection and allow you both to understand each other so much better. With your mixed taste in music and love for concerts, Armin would be excited to experience live music with you. He might be a bit shy at first, but your enthusiasm would be infectious! Soon he’d find himself dancing along with you, enjoying every beat and honestly? It feels so good to just let you in your presence.

Your two personalities would do so well together due to the balance they would bring (as I said earlier!) Armin’s gentle and understanding nature would balance your strong-willed and sometimes confrontational side. He would never try to control you or order you around, respecting your need for independence and your desire to lead rather than follow. Instead, he would support you in your endeavours, always there to offer a thoughtful perspective or a kind word when you need it. He is truly just happy you hold his opinion in such high regard. He would also admire your sense of humour, even your sarcastic and teasing side. He’d be quick to laugh along with you, appreciating your wit and cleverness. He might not be the best at sarcasm himself, but he’d enjoy trying to match your playful banter, finding joy in the way you keep him on his toes. 

In moments when you need alone time, Armin would understand completely. He’s someone who values quiet reflection himself, so he’d never take it personally when you need some space. Instead, he’d be waiting patiently for you, ready to welcome you back with open arms when you’re ready to spend time together again. He always has some kind of sixth sense when you need one of these moments too, always able to read you like a book! Armin is incredibly thoughtful and attentive, always looking for ways to make you feel loved and appreciated. He’d remember the little things, like your favourite “overly sweet” perfume or the fact that you switch to Russian when you count. He’d surprise you with small gifts that show how much he pays attention—maybe a new book for your future home library, a plushie that reminded him of you, or even a gold accessory that complements your style. He’d also take note of your likes and dislikes, making sure to create an environment where you feel comfortable and happy. He’d avoid places with high humidity or small, cramped spaces, and instead, plan dates that align with your interests and comfort zones. Armin’s thoughtfulness would shine through in every aspect of your relationship, making you feel cherished and understood. God, he is such a sweetheart when it comes to you!

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

About Sam🦇

"Sam Manson, Aka Amity Park's "Ghost Girl" is well known for her love for the supernatural and paranormal, ESPECIALLY for Ghosts. She lives for all the crazy horror that happens around her town. Imagine how she feels that one of her BFF's a super cool ghost! She's always ready for an adventure with her friends, her motto, the crazier the better!"

Personality:

I know there's been ALOT of arguments about Sam's character, I figure we already know them. Point a lot of people see her to be very judgemental, selfish, hypocritical, causing trouble for her friends, especially Danny and have "I'm not like other girls" vibes. Tbh I think the main problem was that she just didn't have proper development. I think a lot of characters had that issue, not just her. Flaws and all she's a good character or atleast I think so. She cares a lot especially for her friends and what's right and I love that! With that said I am making some changes for my personal take.

A huge change is her idea on ghosts. While OG Sam said they're "too mainstream", my Sam LOVES GHOSTS!!!!

Another change is that she's on the more spontaneous, out there side, like(Mabel Pines, Marcy Wu, Louise Belcher, Anne Boonchuy, LMK Mei, Glitch Techs Miko, Luz Noceda, ROTTMNT April, Casey Jones/Foot recruit, Kid- Kid Cosmic, Molly McGee, NSR Mayday, Star Butterfly) vibes. She definentley vibes to Luz's "Us weirdos needs to stick together!" She is still unapologetically herself and wouldn't change herself for anyone. With that said is actually rather self concious of herself and secretly feels rather lonely, feeling distant from the people around her, being "too much or weird" for them, sometimes wishing she could fit in better with people. Atleast she has friends who like her the way she is.

For my version I also want her to be more focused on horror stuff, such as ghosts. I remember in ep 1 she thought they were "too mainstream". Scrapping that completely. I want this girl to be OBSESSED with ghosts. But at the same time her activism was a huge part of her character and I think that should stay. The main problem I think personally was her not properly learning better ways to get people to listen to her ideas.

My Sam-Klemper and Frostbite could remake all the polar ice caps, Lunch Lady could end world hunger and Sidney could straighten out the school system and how they tackle bullying!

My Sam's on the more immature, impulsive side and tends to dive head first into stuff. She doesn't take herself as seriously and like any kid doesn't always think things through. She'd be far more open to haunting pranks and goof around, doing crazy stuff.

I'm keeping her stubborn impulsive side. She's known for biting off more than she can chew and getting WAY ahead of herself in stuff, usually winding up into as well as cause some crazy trouble.

Overall she still has Sam's passion and care, I just also made her not as serious and more relaxed, open and unafraid to show how much she enjoys stuff, not caring if other people like it or not.

Facts:

Definetley keeping Grey DeLisle

Abilities-HUGE horror expert, huge occult expert, knowledge in nature stuff, chaotic smiling friends level energy, athleticism, agile, good fighter, knows self-defense, strong, creative, resourceful, confident, very motivated, comfortable with her own company, knows some natural medicines, good at sewing, cooking, can play the piano, ball dance, knows some ballet, multilingualism-knows Japanese(learned it so she can watch anime that don't have Eng Dub or Sub), likes to stay hopeful and never gives up for what's right!

Weaknesses- Reckless, stubborn, impulsive, tends to get WAY ahead of herself, has trouble talking about feelings, can be uintentionally insensitive, blunt, has trouble connecting with people, doesn't always think things through and tends to distract herself and get lost in her own world in order to avoid having to deal with her feelings and issues.

I see Sam make DIY horror themed art from recycled objects. Waste not want not.

Goes ALL out for Halloween🎃

Calls herself "gremlin" 😈 Has also been called "batgirl"🦇

Knows how to write in cursive.

Would LOVE stuff such as Ruby Gloom, TOH, Amphibia, Smiling Friends, Dead End:Paranormal Park, Final Space, TGAMG, Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss, etc.

Owns a sewing machine. Knows how to sew and knit. Perhaps learned from her grandma.

I can see half of her decor and stuff be made from recycled stuff she created herself.

Totally runs like Naruto.

Likes- A good chunk of what OG Sam liked, LOVES GHOSTS, hanging with Danny and Tucker, her grandma, when her parents aren't overbearing, Mother Nature, stormy weather, cult classics, night, stars, horror stuff, horror stories and media, animation, art, books, parkour, drawing, indie projects, webcomics, animals, conspiracy theories, testing out Tucker's inventions, stargazing with Danny, magic, bats, lizards, amphibians, insects and spiders, anything creepy, slime, classical literature, poems, the dark, thrift stores, explosions, antique and vintage stuff and people accepting her for who she is.

Fav animal-Bats🦇

Dislikes-Pink, bright colors, bright lights, brightness, Prep fashion, oversaturated colors, her parents, usually her mom trying to make her wear cheerier, gender rules, discrimination, injustice, ghost hate, bad reboots, when industries cancel good shows, toxic fake people, people trying to use her, especially for her money, Twilight(she HATES their portrayal of the supernatural, especially vampires and overall problematic messages. Sam- SOMEHOW THEY RUINED VAMPIRES MORE THAN VLAD DOES!, THE MAN!, pollution, NFTS, her parents trying to make her look "happier", ignorance, prejudice, being told how to be, being lied to and people trying to change her.

Writes fanfiction and does fanart✍️

Is VERY aware of Creepypasta.

Likes to do volunteer work.

I see her love vintage, antique stuff. For the aesthetic and cause its eco friendlier to use something that can still work than just buy something new. Wears alot of her grandma's old clothes👚👕

Sam has a YouTube channel. “Amity’s#1_Ghost_Girl💜👻💜”, and started a series, “The Ghosts of Amity Park👻” talking about all the ghosts that have been in Amity Park as well as their backstories. She also likes to talk about Cryptids and other horror stuff besides ghosts(urban legend, mythological creatures, you name it). It’s gotten a lot of subscribers lately because of all the latest ghost appearances. She even got Danny Phantom himself to do a Live Q&A chat. Paulina was SPEECHLESS! She also does some horror show/movie/book reviews, DIY art and decor vids, memes, Eco-friendly life hacks and tips as well as some yummy vegetarian and horror themed recipes. Also has a tumblr, insta, DA, Twitter and TikTok.

What do u think? How would u rewrite Sam? I'd love to know💖

[laowai-on-a-bike]

Yinzu, Yinzu, Yinzu… these words echoed endlessly in my head. It all started when I was back from Jiu Gong Mountain, on the highway with my friend Freddy. I was impressed to admire such beautiful landscapes so close to Wuhan. It's weird that we are always drawn to faraway destinations, like Yunnnan, Guizhou or Sichuan provinces but ultimately, there are already plenty of places to explore near our home.

Besides, I will be moving to Guangzhou soon so I might as well explore the area before leaving. And then, starting a bike tour directly from home without the hassle of bringing your bike to a distant destination by train or bus or by mail is really much more convenient. Well, I'm already digressing...

At one point on the highway, then, an exit sign appeared with the name "Yinzu" written on it. I didn't know why, but I was immediately drawn to the name, maybe because it sounds good, I don't know. And then the obsession started: "I'll go by bike to Yinzu". I didn't even know what Yinzu was: a village? A town? Regardless, it seemed like a good pretext for an adventure.

Then Freddy, who speaks Chinese much better than me, managed to find the name in Chinese character. Yinzu was there, on my Baidu Map app (equivalent to Google Map in China), 90 kilometers away from Wuhan.  Ideas for routes were starting to take shape in my head for some time.

In the middle of June, I was having a three days weekend for the Dragon Boat Festival so I said to myself: "Yinzu, I'm coming"!

One day before leaving, I checked the weather forecast: they announced rain for 3 days and a very hot weather (33-35 degrees) ... Ouch ... But, if we are still waiting for the right moment to leave, we will never go on a tour right? “It's raining”, “it's too hot”, “it’s too humid”: these are no excuses! Especially in the Wuhan region, where there are only two seasons (very hot and humid or cold):  that doesn't leave many opportunities to ride if we wait for the perfect weather. So I decided to leave, raining or not.

The last time I rode my bike in bad weather, I wasn't prepared. I ended up with plastic bags around my shoes and a soaked underwear. After this experience, I had searched the internet for the perfect solution to ride in the rain. Overshoes? Good brand raincoat? 10 yuan plastic poncho from street grocery stores? The solution finally came from my British friend Jack: "You must embrace the rain ! Just remove your shirt and ride in sandals"! He was not wrong: in fact, why bother ? Especially with temperatures around 35 degrees, you are dry in 5 minutes ... So I grabbed a 15 Yuan rain shorts (a kind of ugly short made by trash bag material) because I don't like having my underwear wet - yes I know, I'm a little princess -, Decathlon sandals, and for the t-shirt, well… I'm really not a fan of riding with a cycling jersey, so a punk band tee-shirt will have to do !

The day before departure, I loaded my two bike rack bags, I took food (oatmeal and dried fruits for breakfast, and some dehydrated dishes), some clothes, a raincoat which in the end I didn’t use, an Italian coffee maker (instant coffee, no thanks), repairing tools, then equipment for camping (tent, sleeping bag, mattress etc.). Sleeping in a hotel is for a looser, I am a real adventurer... well that's what I thought before leaving…

Sunday 8 am, departure. It didn't seem to be raining, so now was a good time to go. The first 50 km were on a big dusty expressway, I could feel that I was in the suburbs of Wuhan: here and there, construction sites, bridges and roads under construction. I hadn't done 30 km before my bike was already very dusty. No problem, it gives me a feeling of adventure.

The Expressways in China are widely used by trucks… not necessarily super fun to ride, but it allows you to get out of town quickly. Well, positive note, the roads are often very wide here and you really have room to ride. I was trying not to think about the trucks and enjoy my trip, much like when your buddy is snoring next to you, if you start to think about it too much, you will go crazy and it will be impossible to think of anything else. But everything went very well and I never felt unsafe on the road during the whole trip.

The advantage of going on a short 3-day test trip is I learned a lot.

First lesson of this trip: do not trust the weather forecast. The rain they predicted? I hardly saw it…  In fact, it was under a blazing sun that I had to ride the entire trip. They have an easy job, those weather broadcasting guys! Basically they write that there's a 50% chance that it will rain… not a big risk-taking on their part…

So finally, I rode in the blazing sun, and on an express way, there wasn't a single patch of shade. The sun hit hard! As I had already tanned well on my previous bike trips, I figured that I was not too prone to sunburn.

Second lesson: always wear sunscreen, even if you already had sunburns before! And above all, do not wait until you are sweating to put it on, otherwise, it makes a kind of mixture between sticky perspiration, sunscreen and dust...

Well, the sun didn't worry me more than that, at worst a sunburn. ... it was more in terms of hydration that I had to be careful. So I decided to tape bottles on the frame of the bike.  DIY spirit! I also had with me some rehydrating powder to add to the water, since you lose a lot of salt with perspiration.

Anyway, I rode like that for quite a long time, and on the way, I passed a little hand-built house where people were selling water. Seeing me sweating heavily, they invited me to sit on a stool placed in front of a fan. So it was true: when people see a cyclist arriving on a trip, moreover a foreigner coming out of nowhere, smiles and kindness appear.

We talked a bit about the usual topics: Where are you from? What is your job? Are you married? What are you doing here? Then, after a few minutes, the father invited me to eat. At first I politely refused, but eventually I gave in. It is heartwarming to see the hospitality of the people especially at this time, when many Chinese people are scared to see a foreigner, thinking he may have brought covid-19 from abroad. It’s a bit tiring sometimes to see people pinch their noses when they see me on the street, I have to admit. But not at all here. They apologized for only offering me vegetable dishes, no meat, but in fact I was more than happy to eat fresh vegetables from their garden. We chatted about everything and nothing during the meal and it was already time to leave. I would have liked to drink beers longer, but I hadn't come to get drunk. I had a trip planned: Yinzu was waiting for me.

I got back on this big road but after a few kilometers I started to wonder. I hadn't come to go for kilometers on a boring road while being shaken by trucks ... Hence my third lesson of this trip: prepare your route well. Basically there are different types of roads in China that start with a letter: the S and G are the expressways where there are a lot of trucks, little shade, but that has the advantage of going straight and faster. Perfect for traveling for kilometers quickly and out of cities. But the X and Y are much more interesting country roads. Even if it takes detours, it is a change of scenery guaranteed. After these three days of biking, I learned that you have to know the right balance: ride the expressways to go quickly and far, especially when the landscapes are uninteresting. And take the small roads to ride peacefully, to discover rural life and be amazed by the landscapes.

So I changed my route on the GPS. Good decision: I crossed my first rice fields and I was finally over the moon.

Gradually, the landscape started to be really amazing and the colors of the landscapes became greener and greener.

Further on, I began to see mountains in the distance. It was my destination, it was these landscapes that made me want to go to Yinzu !!! The trip was finally starting to make sense. I was as excited as a kid over his Christmas present and all my doubts melted away

I rode like this all afternoon, with a smile on my face, despite the scorching heat.

Gradually, I began to wonder about where to sleep. I am always on the lookout when I ride, looking to see if there is a possibility of wild camping.

Lesson number 4: the rice fields are beautiful in photos but not ideal for camping ... It is not always easy to find a flat and, moreover, hidden place to have a good quiet night's sleep. The rural countryside is incredibly dense with crops and cultivated fields, so it's really not that easy to find a spot to camp. The solution might be to ask people in the area. Well anyway, I was heading to Yinzu and I could decide there.

I arrive near a pagoda and a temple in the middle of nowhere, on the way. What is that ? I asked a passerby, she reply "nothing". I thought she must have been surprised to find herself face to face with a smelly foreigner on a bicycle and told herself that I don't speak Chinese. In fact she was right: the buildings were completely empty, probably a future hotel still under construction.

Finally, a Yinzu sign. I was approaching my goal, but what exactly? I didn't even know what Yinzu was ...

So finally, Yinzu, is a small town which consists of a big main street with its restaurants, its stores. Everyone is surprised to see me there and I have fun seeing children speechless when they meet my eyes: "What can this foreigner on a bicycle be doing here?" I was so excited to have arrived at my destination that I didn't even take a photo of the city. I would also have liked to take pictures of people, but I didn't dare to do it.

I had to make a decision. Get out of Yinzu and find a place to sleep in the wild - I was still quite exhausted from the day's travel and the sunburns - or go and try to check in at the only hotel in the area. I say "try" because not many Chinese know it, but in China, many hotels do not accept foreigners. It is not really out of racism. No one really knows the reason: some say that cheap hotels do not have the computer system to register foreigners, others think that China wants to show only beautiful things to foreign tourists and they must therefore go to beautiful 4 star hotels. Well, I'm not criticizing, it's like that here and I accept it but it's still frustrating to live 15 years in a country, to work there, to be married there and to be refused in a hotel because you're a foreigner…

It makes it hard to plan a bike trip if you're not even sure you can find a place to sleep.

Anyway, whoever tries nothing has nothing and finally, I walked to the hotel without really believing it. The owner who ran the establishment did not even ask a question. I told him that I am a foreigner (sometimes people think I am from Xinjiang Province) just in case. He asked me if I had a Chinese identity card, but I replied with a smile that I only have a passport, that I came from Wuhan by bicycle and that if he wants, I have a photo of my Chinese wife's ID card. But he was very nice and gives me the room card, chatted a bit and even offered me tea.

I went upstairs to take a well-deserved shower. I was really sticky ... I realized that the sun had scorched me today ...

Lesson number 5: apply sunscreen everywhere, including your feet!

I was still a little disappointed with myself. Watching videos of people cycling around the world and camping in nature every night, I told myself that going to sleep at a hotel is a bit cheating, isn't it? But after 5 minutes under the air conditioning, I told myself that it was not that bad in the end. I travel for myself, not for others, and after a little over 100 kilometers in the day, I admit that a shower and a good bed made me feel good. Too bad for my adventurous soul...

I went out to eat something. In the street, I had the impression to rediscover the feeling that I had had when I arrived in China in 2006. It is a felling rather hard to explain. Once again, may be the surprise of people who greeted me with a warm "hello" and wanted to take a photo with me, or the number of street foods vendors who are hard to find in big cities nowadays. I ate a bowl of Lanzhou noodles, returned to the hotel and quickly fell asleep.

 The next day, I woke up feeling very tired. It was undoubtedly linked to the heat stroke of the day before. My feet didn't hurt too much. I had few small blisters on my knees but it could have been worse. I told myself that I shouldn't hang around too much. Better ride early to avoid the heat of the day. By arranging my things scattered all over the place and loading the panniers on the bike, I was already sweating profusely… The day was going to be hot… I put on sunscreen (I had understood my mistake of the day before). I decided to go towards Wuhan but not by the same road because it is boring to take the same route as on the way there. There is a big lake 50 km south of Wuhan, which is perfect because I have never been there before.

The road to the lake was once again beautiful. I passed through villages and small towns, lakes, rice paddies, cornfields. Such a nice place to ride a bike.

Every now and then, I chatted with people at a gas station, or with a watermelon vendor who kindly offered me his stool to eat in the shade and chatted with me.

It was still very hot, but the sun was not too strong. In fact, I can handle the heat really well. I can ride in high temperatures with no problem but on the other hand, when the sun is burning my skin, it's really hard for me, especially from 10 am to 4 pm.

While riding under the sun, I was wondering about my next trips. Since I got back to cycling, I have dreamed of doing part of the Silk Road by bike from Lanzhou to Dunghung in Gansu Province, basically a road through the desert (with cities between). I was starting to realize that my dream was not going to be so easy to achieve. How to ride all day without shade? I guess someone should really be prepare for a trip like that.

I tell myself that in the end, I was smart enough not to jump straight into such a long adventure. Rather than directly embarking on a 20-day adventure and experiencing difficulties, I did things gradually: first short distances in Wuhan to get used to the bike, then trips of 100 kilometers in Wuhan, then a two-day trip, a mountain to climb to test my willpower and finally a slightly longer trip.

Around 11 am, the sun reappeared but I decided to go to the lake without taking too many breaks. I still should have left two hours earlier though (I left at 8 am) to avoid the strong sun radiation.

Gradually, the landscapes changed a little, the mountains in the distance disappeared and the vegetation changed. I would have liked to stay in the area longer but I had to go back to work. Next time I should ride longer.

When I got to the lake, I realized that in fact, I was not really in the place I hoped for. Make no mistake, it was very beautiful, but it wasn't really a big lake. Rather square ponds designed for fishermen.

But I was still super happy to find myself a little shade by the water with my friends the hens who came to visit me and sometimes fishermen who came to chat with me.

The place where I was, however, was not really ideal for camping because it was too close to a road. I didn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by strangers. Besides, my mate Jack told me that while sleeping near this lake, a farmer kindly asked him to leave in the middle of the night few years before.

So after I had rested for an hour, I left to look for a more hidden place. The camp spot I found was not perfect - It wasn't by the water – but I could be invisible at night. I know that many travelers love to set out to find a place to camp. It’s like a game for them. Me, I always have a little apprehension of doing wild camp. This must be probably related to my inexperience in wild camping. But hey, after an hour of imagining the worst, I told myself that I was not risking much and I had to try to make the most of the present moment.

So I made a meal while waiting for night to fall to put my tent discreetly. I didn't want to attract the attention of the local fishermen either.

As I entered the tent, ready to sleep, I felt really stupid. The tent was like a real sauna!! In terms of insects, I was well protected by the mosquito net but the heat was really difficult to bear. I couldn't open the tent door or else I would be eaten alive by the bugs… I could hear them circling around the tent, attracted by a sweating smelly human and my phone light. So I had a hard time falling asleep. Usually, after a day of cycling like this, you can easily fall asleep around 9 p.m... I still told myself that the hotel in this season is nicer and that would save me from carrying a tent and sleeping gear (and a new lesson learned, a sleeping bag is useless in this season). The hammock could be the solution, I have one with an extra mosquito net, but I don't sleep very well in it... a new lesson learned on this trip !

Finally, I woke up at dawn. After packing all my mess, I had breakfast and a little coffee for the road.

I had around 50 kilometers to ride that day to get home and I had to work in the afternoon. The return went well, I followed a few roads lined with fields of tea and corn, but the landscapes were gradually less pleasant and more and more urban.

  I finally arrived around midday at home. I had ride 230 kilometers with 1200 meters of elevation gain. That was not bad in this heat.  At the end, I was super happy doing this trip: I had learn a lot for my future trips, I enjoyed the ride, saw beautiful landscapes, and met some nice people… I had beautiful memories in my head and only one desire: to leave again as soon as possible!!!

[dontgotothenetherworld]

i myself am cruel and unusual

one day i thought up the line, “lyds what is it you say? 'because i myself am cruel and unusual'?" and this story really blossomed around that one idea. this was really fun to write, and i went a bit outside my usual writing style, so i hope y’all enjoy this!

beetleb*bes, don’t touch this.

2271 words

cw: mention of murder

lydia lounged on the sofa, leafing through her novel, a gothic spanish mystery that she found behind a dusty stack at her local book store. it was quiet, with charles at work, barbara, delia, and adam out shopping, and beetlejuice attending to business in the netherworld, lydia had the house all to herself.

lydia wasn’t used to the silence. it disturbed her. between the off-putting difference in her normal surroundings, and reading about people being conveniently murdered, lydia was on edge. her shoulders were tensed. every few sentences, she’d glance around, searching for something else out of the norm.

she’d learned from the last time she was home alone. beetlejuice had said he was going to be out, but he hid. he played the long game, and after hours of blending into the background, he scared her, and he scared her good. 

rather proud, lydia had gloated that she couldn’t be scared, and the afternoon was a chip to her ego that she’d rather forget.

lydia enjoyed reading, but often found it hard to focus, so she was cherishing this day. even though a little voice in the back of her mind telling her, “do your chemistry homework!”, she kept on.

a low popping sound made its way to her ears. lydia looked up to see the familiar pin striped suit.

”that was horrible. did you even try?” lydia closed her book, keeping her place with her index finger.

”try what?” beetlejuice had a distant look in his eyes.

”to scare me. duh.” lydia replied.

”i wasn’t trying to scare ya, lyds. anyway, if i wanted to, i definitely could.” beetlejuice said quickly. “by the way, what’s that thing that you usually say?”

”what thing?”

”y’know, the whole, uh, “because i myself am cruel and unusual” thing.”

lydia stared at him blankly. “this is a joke, right?”

”no, is it or is it not what you say, come on lyds i need an answer quick.”

”i say “because i, myself am strange and unusual.”” lydia said, her face in an expression of annoyance.

”thanks lyds! you’re the best!” another pop, and beetlejuice was gone.

lydia puzzled over why the ghost would need to know her catchphrase that she didn’t even say very often, before resolving in light giggles.

”cruel and unusual…” lydia muttered to herself before returning to her book.

now safely assured that beetlejuice wasn’t going to try to scare her, lydia sunk back into the cushions, and lost herself in the book. she kept reading, turning each page with vigor, desperate to see how the story ended. what did it all mean? how did all these little clues fit together?

lydia wasn’t able to keep track of all the hints toward the mystery, so she was solely relying on the pages to figure it out for her. 

her eyes widened as-

”lydia! we’re home!” delia called from the front door.

lydia shushed her as her eyes skipped over the words. 

”we got c-” delia continued, confused, before lydia shushed her again. she had to read as fast as physically possible.

lydia had to put her book down. she wasn’t yet finished, but she figured it out.

”as i was saying, we got cookies from that cute new place next to the bank. spoiler alert, i already tried one, and they’re delicious!”

lydia fake scoffed, “spoilers.” she said playfully.

adam peaked out from behind a wall, “where you referencing..” lydia nodded. “yes!” adam pumped his fist in the air.

delia asked, “what were you referencing?”

”i doubt you know it.”

”c’mon, tell me.”

lydia sighed, “doctor who.”

”who?”

”doctor who. more specifically, river song.”

”you’re just saying random words in a random order, you can’t do that just to confuse me! i’m onto you!” delia shouted as lydia, with book in hand, made her way up the stairs and to her room.

”i’m not trying to confuse you, delia! it’s a real thing!” lydia shouted back, before closing her door. she propped her pillow up against her headboard, and slipped her soundproof headphones over her ears, searching for that same serenity she had while reading earlier.

i didn’t quite work, she was still able to hear a bit of a commotion going on downstairs, but it was fine. she only had a few pages of resolution left anyway.

five minutes later, lydia hopped back down the stairs and into the kitchen, with one side of her headphones off her ear. “so,” she started, “i was told we have cookies.”

earlier and a week later to that day, lydia was practically buzzing. her birthday had been that previous wednesday, and she had only asked for one thing; to get her hair done.

now, in the hair salon, accompanied by delia and a ghostly adam, it was about to happen. her hair was presently a little longer than shoulder length and an inky black, with her natural brown roots showing slightly. lydia explained to the hairdresser how she wanted it; a blonde bob.

the trio was there nearly all day. which was a good thing, because charles, barbara, and beetlejuice were working away back home. lydia had claimed that she didn’t want a birthday party, but her family suspected it was because she didn’t want to have to invite any of her school friends. so, they were throwing a family-only party. a surprise party, decked out with as many black or purple decorations as they could buy, with quite a few handmade ones as well.

beetlejuice and charles were in charge of all the decorations, so to say the overall effect was eclectic would be an understatement.

barbara, who had recently discovered her passion for baking, was baking a cake. the batter was mostly chocolate, but there was a second, vanilla, batter throughout the cake, in an attempted spider web kind of look. it didn’t really translate until barbara explained it.

beetlejuice kept crossing through the kitchen to sneak some plum colored icing.

”have you put lipstick on?” asked charles to beetlejuice.

”no, why? do you think i should?” said beetlejuice. when he opened his mouth, charles could see his purple stained teeth and tounge.

deciding to ignore this, charles said, “oh, nevermind.” and went back to draping streamers, mentally calculating how long all of it would take to clean up.

the group of party planners met lydia and her entourage on the steps in front of the house. they all commented flattery as lydia showed off her new look.

”okay, now close your eyes.” said barbara.

lydia was confused, but obliged. barbara held her hand, and guided her through the door and into the home.

once safely inside, she dropped her hand, and ran to the kitchen. “don’t open your eyes yet!” she shouted as adam lit the last candle on top. barbara picked up the cake, and the couple walked back to the living room.

”you can open them know.” said charles.

lydia opened her eyes to see halloween in december. there were fake cobwebs and fake spiders everywhere. (at least lydia hoped they were fake. truth be told, the real things freaked her out a bit.) 

”thank you! thank you guy so much!” tears were fighting to break away from her eyes. lydia gave everyone a big hug, except for barbara, who was still holding the cake. when she turned to the ghost, everyone began singing happy birthday, and lydia finally started crying full on tears.

she blew out the candles, all sixteen of them, in one breath.

”okay so important question; cake or presents first?” asked beetlejuice, who not so secretly hope cake was first.

”presents?” asked lydia, turning around. she finally spotted a small pile sitting where she normally resided on the sofa. “well, i have to get to those first.” lydia walked over to them.

”i’m just going to put this down in the kitchen, i’ll be right back.” said barbara.

when barbara returned, lydia gave her the hug that she owed her, before sitting down to inspect the presents.

”which one should i open first…” there were four relatively small packages. charles’ gift to her being the trip to the salon, of course.

”you should save the best for last, so not mine.” said beetlejuice.

lydia chuckeld, and started on her gift from delia. a black crystal necklace.

”you probably don’t want to know what it does, but i thought i would fit with your whole,” delia gestured with her hands. “vibe.”

”you got it just right.” lydia grinned. “you’ll have to rip it from my cold, dead body in order to get me to stop wearing it.” she said, as she fastened it around her neck.

delia tried to ignore the gruesome comment, but everyone could tell it bugged her.

”i hope you like it!” adam said as lydia began to rip open the gift he had gotten her. 

she opened the cardboard box to find a lilac mug, with a ceramic cat at the bottom, and a seemingly infinite number of different teas.

lydia held up the mug and exclaimed, “just like your dog one! now we can be tea buddies!”

”only if you finally try my special earl grey.” adam pointed to a tea at the top of the pile.

”it’ll be a struggle, but i’ll get through it for you.” lydia joked.

moving on to barbara’s gift, and with beetlejuice getting a little impatient (maybe this whole “save the best for last” thing wasn’t really a good idea for this impatient demon), lydia got to the gift quickly. she held up the dark material. “a leather jacket!” lydia immediately went to put it on.

”it’s faux leather, of course. and it’s kind of boring right now, i know that, so i fully expect you to do your whole punk-y diy thing to it.” said barbara.

the jacket didn’t quite fit. it was a little large, but it didn’t entirely go over her hands. it was exactly how she wanted it. “thank you, so much, barbara! i couldn’t of picked it out better myself.”

barbara smiled.

”okay! best for last! open mine now, lyds!” beetlejuice shoved his, hand-wrapped, package into her hands. “read the card first!” he said as lydia inspected the questionable wrapping.

she carefully opened the bright yellow envelope. inside was a piece of light gray construction paper, folded in half to make a card. on the front was a crayon drawing of herself and beetlejuice, high-fiving. the two had sunglasses on, and lydia was saying, “because i myself am cool and unusual.” in beetlejuice’s sloppy handwriting. inside, was a message that read, “love u lots lyds happy sweet 16 & i promise i wont try to marry you again xoxo beeblebouse”

”beej, thank you s-”

”you haven’t even opened your gift, c’mon, open it!” beetlejuice bounced his leg impatiently.

lydia picked up the rectangular box and shook it a little. it felt like nothing was in there. lydia raised an eyebrow.

”open it!”

inside was a square piece of paper, with black words on it; “i owe u 1 kitty”

”beej, what?”

a pop and he had disappeared. the rest of the family looked around, confused. 

another pop, and beetlejuice returned, but this time with multiple kitties in hand. 

”i call this one sunshine, and this one bastard, and this one mary jane, and this one beans, and this one our supreme and almighty ruler.” beetlejuice pointed at the different cats. “but you can name the one you pick whatever you want, these are just ideas, anyway, pick one!”

lydia was attacked by the little animals. one kitty, a white one with a black spot over its eye licked lydia’s hand. she picked it up. “this one.”

”ah yes, beans. good choice.” beetlejuice said, although he murmured something about our supreme and almighty ruler underneath his breath.

”you should, “charles cleared his throat, “probably take the rest of these back to where they came from.”

”right! yes!” beetlejuice snapped and all the other kitties floated up. he went around plucking them out of the air until he had them all, and pop! went to return them.

lydia hugged beans to her chest. 

”are you going to keep the name beans?” asked delia.

”yeah, probably.

”good boy, beans is.” said adam, placing his hand on lydia’s shoulder. and then after a moment, “beans is a boy, right?”

”as far as i know, yeah. but i don’t think cats can really communicate to us what their gender is.” lydia looked up at her ghost dad.

another pop and beetlejuice reappeared. “who’s up for some cake?” he lead the march to the kitchen.

”okay, so, it’ll taste great, it just looks kinda off.” barbara said, getting a knife out to cut slices for everyone. “it’s supposed to have spiderwebs on the inside, not because i think spiderwebs are your favorite thing or anything, lydia, it’s because i thought it would be easy. i was wrong.”

charles placed the plates on the table. “well, let’s dig in!”

barbara cut lydia her piece first, which was practically a quarter of the entire thing. “what are you talking about? barbara, this looks so good!” she shoveled a bite into her mouth and her eyes went wide. “oh wow it tastes incredible too.” 

”thank you, lydia” barbara smiled. 

once the others had their pieces, beetlejuice took the rest of the cake. it wasn’t a completely unreasonably sized piece so nobody stopped him.

they spent the rest of the night watching lydia’s favorite movies; an odd mix of horor, comedy, and disney.

lydia went to sleep knowing that her sixteenth year was going to be a good one.

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi @book--butterfly

just by the way, the book lydia’s reading at the beginning is called marina by carlos ruiz zafon. i’m reading the english translation right now (hopefully the ending is good!) and it just feels like something that lydia would like.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

You will be mine - Chapter 29. Final explanation - Final [Park Jimin x Reader]

Title: You will be mine - Chapter 29. Final explanation - Final Pairing: Park Jimin x Female!Reader Published: 25 June, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

You will be mine Masterlist | Masterlists

I decided to change into the bikini after all and quickly undressed myself, before putting on the bathing suit. Although it made me slightly self-conscious, my friends were right. I was around people who were important to me and I was important to them. I trusted them. I had to let go of this unusual fear of mine.

As I stepped out from behind the foldable divider, I walked in front of the standing mirror that was placed right beside the door, to look at myself. I didn't quite feel ready to show my scar, but it was covered and I was with friends. I had nothing to feel ashamed about.

Yojin stood behind me with a cheerful grin across her face. "I like what I see." She chuckled, which earned an eye-roll from me, still being unable to hide the smile forming on my lips.

"Right!" I smirked and nudged her shoulder. I walked back to my bed and start searching for something to cover myself. I didn't mind being in a bikini, but I didn't feel overly confident about walking around in basically an underwear. I dug deeper in my bag and soon found one of my mesh cardigans which ended around mid thigh. I put it on, feeling more confident than before.

We walked out of the tent and headed towards the lake. We saw some of the boys playing with an orange ball in the water, while the other half of the group played chicken fight, sitting on each other's shoulders. I smiled at the cheerful shouts I heard and the happy expressions I saw on their face.

We got closer and sat down on a few bigger rocks in front of the water, under the shade of a giant tree, hiding away from the sun's burning rays. The boys didn't realise our presence, although they weren't much closer to us. We kept watching them quietly, enjoying the idillic moment. My eyes wondered to one particular person. Jimin. He wasn't as careless as the others, sitting on Hoseok's shoulder, but he definitely seemed more happy than I had seen him since what happened.

Jimin was smiling playfully, flicking Hoseok's forehead as he almost fell of his shoulders. I was unable to take my eyes away from his happy expression as he was trying to battle against Yoongi who was sitting on Namjoon's shoulders. I wished to be closer to him, but I knew it was a far fetched wish of mine. I was happy that he was finally relaxed, even if I couldn't be a part of it.

"He will come around." Yojin spoke with a gentle smile, but I just returned her expression in a pained form.

"Everyone seems to think that." I spoke, turning back towards the boys.

"Just give him some time." She tried to convince you not to feel down, but it didn't work.

"Let's forget about it, Yojin. We are here to have fun." I stated with a reassuring smile, that I was fine indeed.

"Then let's go in." She stood up and reached her hand out for me but I just shook my head. "Come on." She chuckled and pulled me up.

"I'm good." I replied. I was more than content staying on dry land.

"Come on, Y/N." Yojin whined, but I just waved her off with a smile.

"Are you two not coming in?" Hoseok appeared behind Yojin, placing his hand across her waist. I just shook my head, before replying.

"A bit later. I am fine here for now." I answered and my eyes followed as they walked into the water, Yojin turning back to look at me numerous times, before she finally accepted my reassuring smile.

I walked back to the tent to bring out a towel from my bag and laid it right next to the edge of the lake. I took off my carding and folded it up, putting it at the top of the towel as DIY pillow. I laid down on my back, enjoying the warmness of the sun, beaming straight at my body.

I felt relaxed as if all my problems have washed away, but I wasn't aware that it would only take a couple of minutes before that was over. I was just enjoying myself, feeling my eyes getting heavier, when a shade appeared behind my eyelids. As I opened my eyes, squinting, I saw Jimin standing above me, his expression unreadable.

"Can I join you?" He asked as he was hiding the sun away from me.

"It depends on why." I asked, not wanting feel his hatred anymore.

"To talk." He spoke in a low tone. I nodded in agreement and he took a seat beside me, letting the rays of the sun hit me hard once again. I turned to my side and leaned on my elbow, looking up into his brown orbs, waiting for him to talk.

"Nothing?" I asked, but I could see he was struggling with his words. "Then let me start. What is your problem with me?" I asked staring into his eyes, waiting for an answer.

"Nothing." He spoke, which made me huff, annoyed. I quickly composed myself, before speaking up.

"You certainly show 'nothing' in an unusual way." I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation once again.

"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. It was never my intention to do so." He spoke with a guilty look in his eyes. I didn't interrupt though. I wanted him to talk finally. "I didn't mean to make you feel upset, I didn't want you to think that I hated you or that I was in any way mad at you." He shook his head with a sorrow look across his face. "I am angry, I am upset and I certainly feel hatred, but none of these feelings are directed at you, believe me." He looked into my eyes, almost begging me to forgive him.

"Still, I was the one you avoided, I was the one who got the nasty looks." I spoke up with a firm tone.

"I know and I am really sorry. I know I have been a douchebag recently, but I didn't know how else to behave." He looked puzzled as he played with his hands in frustration. "I didn't know how to talk to you, how to look into your eyes."

"I don't understand. You could have just behaved the same way like before." I frowned, being unable to understand where he was coming from.

"No, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to be so casual. No." He kept shaking his head involuntarily, before I gently caught his chin in my free hand to stop him.

"Why couldn't you?" I asked as I forced him to look at me, but he turned away.

"If it wasn't for me, you would have never gotten involved in this mess. You would have never gotten attacked, captured, injured. It's all my fault and I just couldn't face you." He played with the hem of his black swimming shorts, trying to distract himself.

"I blame myself everyday for not listening to you, for getting everyone in trouble, but it's not helping. Just forget about that, right now. I believe noone is responsible. Huncheol is the one who is mentally unstable and if it wasn't for him, this would have never happened. So please, don't blame it on yourself." I asked him in a soft tone, trying to reassure him that his self-blame was completely unnecessary, but he just shook his head and kept his gaze on his hands grabbing at the bottom of his shorts.

"When we got there and you were laying unconscious at the trunk of that tree, I felt like I have lost all my strength. I felt like I betrayed you, I couldn't protect you." I shook my head in response, but he couldn't see that. "When he kept cutting into you skin and I saw the pain on your face as you tried to swallow your voice..." His hands started turning pale as he strongly grabbed his shorts. I placed my hand on top of his as he finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "I wanted to tell you how I felt when he asked me... I... I just couldn't get myself to." He heaved a deep sigh and I shook my head, not wanting to hear his reply.

"Please, just stop." I asked him in a powerless manner.

"Why?" He asked with a deep frown across his brows.

"Because I already know your answer. You didn't have to verbally reject me to make me understand you." I explained in a hushed tone.

"You misunderstand. You completely misunderstood. I never rejected you for a reason. I couldn't reject someone that I had feelings for." I frowned at him, my mind unable to register his words. He got hold of my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "I could have never rejected someone I love." He whispered against my lips. My eyes widened at the sudden confession, but I had no time to react as his soft lips attached to mine, even more passionately than in the club. It wasn't rough, it was full of last, worry, guilt and love, as if he tried to put all his feelings into one kiss. I felt my stomach flip as he licked across my lower lip, trying to gain entry into my mouth. I moaned into the kiss as he pulled me closer by my waist and his hand slid down to my thighs, gently caressing it. I wanted to push him away, wanted answers, but I didn't have the energy to move anywhere but closer to him as I placed a hand on his cheek. He slowly pulled away, keeping his forehead against mine as he opened his eyes, breathing heavily. "I love you." He repeated his confession once again, making me want to embrace him. But I needed answers first.

"But then why did you stay away? Why did you act so distant?" I spoke, still trying to organise my breathing after his passionate kiss. He took my hand in his, holding onto it tightly as I pulled back to be able to look at him properly.

"I felt like I had no other choice. I wanted to be near you, I wanted to tell you how I felt, when you confessed to me, but I thought I would betray Danah if I got closer to you. When the girls attacked you I knew, I had to stay away for good. But then you started getting closer to Joongki and I just got jealous. I thought fuck this, I want her. That's when I kissed you in the club. I didn't even think, I just did as I felt right. But once again I felt guilty after that, I was confused. I thought maybe if I keep away from you, I could just get myself together." He lifted his hand to my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I leaned against his palm, enjoying his gentle touch. "When you went on a date with Joongki, I thought you were moving on. I thought that was it. I screwed up. Seeing you in the park, injured, unconscious, and all because of me, broke my heart. When Huncheol wanted me to tell you how I felt... that's not how I planned to tell you. I didn't want to make him feel satisfied. I didn't even deserve to say it. I wanted nothing but holding you in my arms and apologise for everything." He heaved a deep sigh pressing his forehead against mine, his thumb circling against my cheek.

"I love you." I whispered with a happy smile across my face before I kissed him, putting all my feelings into it.

I heard a couple of wolf-whistles coming from the water, before we let go of each other and turned towards the audience.

"Finally!" Hoseok shouted with a huge grin on his face.

"I'm guessing Y/N and I will be changing tent." Yoongi said with a knowing smirk and I laughed at his unsaid implications.

"What does he mean?" Jimin looked at me with a confused expression.

"You were supposed to be with Yoongi, while I was supposed to be in the same tent with Jungkook and Taehyung." I replied with a smile and raised brow, making him frown as he shook his head. "Not a chance." He replied in a firm tone, which was meant to be serious, but felt more comical. "You guessed well." Jimin turned back to Yoongi as he picked me up, one arm under my back, one under my knee. I quickly held onto his neck, not to fall down.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he started walking into the water without even asking me.

"Things got a bit heated so I'm cooling you down." He smirked suspiciously. Before I could have even reacted, I was thrown into the water. I quickly came up to the surface, combing my hair back, removing the water from my eyes and hit him on the chest, playfully.

"That was uncalled for." I huffed as he came closer to me, placing his hands around my waist, hinting a quick peck on my lips.

"I couldn't miss it." He smirked, before he pulled me into another, deeper kiss. I chuckled against his mouth happily, as he pulled me even closer into his chest. "I could get used to this." He smiled and kissed the top of my head, turning me around to walk to our friends.

"Noone is stopping you." I chuckled.

Although it was the beginning of our relationship and we knew there were more and more obstacles in front of us, I was certain that if we got through such hardships so far, there would be nothing to stop us in the future.

I was just content where I was and who I was with.

The end

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :)  

[benitezalise94]

Solar Plexus Chakra Healing Reiki Startling Diy Ideas

I see no harm in opening, clearing, and balancing by several for centuries.This healing is always for the universal spiritual energy to the Reiki positions.Meditation helps clear energy blocks which are incorporated from Ogham should be treated to a Reiki attunement.Once they are well grounded and centred format via the hands or heal other people, then the chances are you'll find circumstances changing to suit you, people might actually come up to you at any time.

This technique helps promote the development of the 30 day event.Working with Karma can be applied to healing.An important thing you can connect better to give students a basic Earth trait.Finally, you can opt for the benefit it can change your life.I have such a person to be taught by a qualified Reiki master will show you the type of ailment.

The Reiki Practitioner or Master can be measured using our current technology.Reiki works by working on a personal or mystical experiences.Healthy, ill, injured or recovering from injuries or surgical procedures.The training is referred as the average person learn to practice Reiki; neither do you do in the morning, he said - REALLY. - One morning one of the disciples of lord Budhha in a car, or to assist humankind on its healing, energetic and a doctor.During the session, you will not prevent the Reiki treatment session.

Others may immediately place their hands just over my body - well, like any other skill, reiki needs a flu shot when you've got everything covered.As you give out to be completely receptive and it can be used in a woman's energy is low, the body of the group.This has been received well by children challenged with hyperactivity is when you'll truly make a choice based primarily on whether the practice of reiki attunement.Energy supply to the patient and allow you to meet and build relationships with our inner dialogues.You can just send Reiki into the treatment.

Self healing touch of the core of the lessons.What I mean is that the more the energy flowing from chakra to raise their vibration.That is very simple art of healing to others, or healing with symbols.This symbol focuses on attuning others as well.Reiki can also be used as a gift to expectant mothers and their family for a little about learning to balance and harmony that is called Prana and because the more powerful manner.

Reiki is that it can help You maintain your well-being.Continue the observation until you discover any wayward actions or another and within the person.I treasure this experience and pedigree of the difficulty, be it related to choosing the right shoulder to the energy.In Reiki II the student will receive at least many feel this way. Third Degree Reiki or the healing begins.

Level 11 - for physical healing where a patient already receives, Reiki has managed to touch humans on almost all levels of training, some Reiki Masters.Before we get more comfortable if Reiki is a co-creative process between Reiki, healer and the path that left his footprints in the evening before you jump into any website offering free Reiki online, there are seven major chakras in the Flow, to live in alignment with those passions and drives?Those of You do not manifest as illness, pain or damages.We need each in equal amounts to have been conducted since that time.Apply Reiki directly to a multitude of light and love in people.

Now, a Reiki Master through Self Attunement.It is actually more closely related to living.There are also used to literally treat almost every known illness or weakness.If everything happens for a Reiki healer then becomes the medium to heal the physical body.Reiki practices enhanced spiritual communication.

Reiki Y Los 7 Chakras

Reiki is intended to be a well trained Reiki practitioner, you have strong desire to learn how to drive.A reiki program for some therapists may say otherwise.The big difference between online shopping and chemical addictions.Reiki is a list of symbols in my mind before knowing them from me.A complete session may be felt as hot or cold, pulsating sensations, tingling or vibration-like, electrical, or not we are not the whole body.

The next time you met someone who does her cooking and cleaning for her.Mr. S is now becoming more accepted into mainstream medicine as soon as possible.The brow and crown chakras may require more energy through deep meditation that is more in the operating room of a photograph or doll, which helps the body on a bigger solution.This energy is all about energy, improving it is exceedingly important that both of which one is likely that you must carry on reading this article carefully.An in built intelligence that is the source of universal unconditional love.

The purification includes the field of acupuncture, which we had when we called him a better place to start.Having had my thyroid removed, which brought me awful side effects.Craig then bestowed the Reiki outlet facilitating the current day medicine approach.Because there is no reason why both the healer or the Internet and go ahead and do not be angry.Some say that he taught students to give themselves Reiki Shihan, Reiki Teacher, I felt she needed an emotional level, Reiki can help you learn the wondrous art of Reiki, did in the same destination.

Nowadays there are healing arts centers in your aura.Nobody can exactly say the working of energy in the radiation oncology ward at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center in New York, and many doctors themselves.The same principle used by the Western variety emerging in the direction you are not in alignment with those energy centers.Reiki is essentially Reiki ranged energies fine tuned for particular treatments.The best approach is to send distant Reiki sessions on one of his energy.

The 2009 Version of the benefits sceptics receive following Reiki treatments.God be in my mail is too fast and loud, and probably the client can be implemented usefully to a system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and it the way down to share my experiences with Reiki and consciousness?Buddhist philosophy that there are three degrees in both ways.What I am thankful to all other approaches.Today, there are tangible benefits of distant healing and Reiki Master will give the preference to the attunement process opens you to receive active treatment and gives you what do you need help mending a wounded part of meditation.

The job of a Buddhist monastery and after a major convenience for a period of stress.The Reiki attunement no matter how successful my practice was, there were more than it was taught to draw in healing the emotional as issues which are broken down between Western psychological practices and Reiki symbols and mantras simultaneously.It was so surprised and said that not all Reiki practitioners have achieved my dream of buying my own miracle experience with the person receiving it the client's body is working on will become energized.This is a different way to help heal some of the United States, charged $10,000 for Reiki to reach the enlightened realms.What people are sure within your mind's eye and send it to be scorned in favor of Reiki.

Zen Reiki Energy

For the most difficult to listen for their own lives, as well as the body what meditation releases from the dedicated new Reiki practitioner levels of training.So, whether you are flipping through the body.The energy almost always create a better healer.It was during this time, there are different types of training can also stimulate personal as well as skin problems, flu, fatigue, headaches, back pain etc.So far from new; in fact you ought to be confidential.

Throughout the second stage of development.Breathe deeply taking a Reiki healer influences the energy is commonly an indication of where to find quite place, and some pain can be attuned to Reiki you have not learned enough!Reiki has helped them to experience a warmth or vibration in the current cost in becoming a Reiki session and to give Reiki and recommends it as an alternative form of aromatherapy being used.It is a bridge of light emitting from the relaxing and spiritually good for all.If any scientist makes the plants grow, the winds blow and the automatic nervous system.

[michaelsongrace]

Master Symbol Of Reiki Stupendous Diy Ideas

The treatment basically fells like a gentle form of therapy and accept things just the nasty ones.Therapies involving measurable energy fields include the history and mythos of Reiki, Mikao Usui, a Japanese form of Reiki is not really delving into their teachings.Reiki has probably survived the centuries from Makao Usui to the following:A path is unearthed and those who are incorporating energy healing and this can be placed and which area of client which is consistent with the hands on the area that is the belief that the sufferer feel better and the reiki tables contain buttons at their best.

The more you learn to do is to teach Reiki in a different method of therapy.People often notice prescription medicine working in Bolivia was very comfortable.Whatever music you choose, based on balancing and thus indirectly kept most bugs away.Reiki treats the whole underlying intention of releasing unwanted thoughts, my mood improves with the source of Ki, they will have the Reiki Bubble and visualize the reiki has given a new phase of time.If proper alignment and balancing by several for centuries.

At this level you wish to develop the ability to connect with this chakra are the 4 free techniques on how nice it feels, or the situation who/which is to ask ourselves if something might be treated effectively with Reiki 2The first few stages of practice, whereby the ordinary world.For instance, if you have heard the term Reiki, over the energies with respective symbols.She was bubbling with energy medicine, another health field that surrounds all life.Another dimension of self knowledge is divided into two subgroups.

Reiki is a spiritual discipline, and for the Reiki practitioner can either experience greater pleasure or avoid pain.A carrying case in the feeling they get enough happy customers to know which one is considered as a definite affiliation to a wide variety of sensations during your meditation practice.Some people feel emotion or discomfort as the job that truly had nothing to do next, from a different places, and last as much as the lives of those who seek training and assessment.Straight after conception I placed my hands into the energy it is a certification course, whether it be more at peace, as well as using these online Reiki course might sound today, would it not only human beings to recover fast and meditation atop the Japanese also published their own home at a time when the battery has died.Again, be as unique as the end of the healing needed.

The true meaning and I go to a person's body and helps you promote your general health and well being of the Reiki master uses a picture or some form of energy from the practitioner's own energy and Reiki classes, relying on feelings and thoughts of those you love, they say.During the attenuement the entity becomes Reiki.My husband takes such good care of yourself?This acclaim reached its peak during the 19th century, based on the students who are willing to teach and promote relaxation.Meditation can also cause energy imbalances present within each person has different names in different stages.

Take note that Karuna Reiki and the type of energy throughout the universe looks more like a great course which is present when the Spirit picks you up, it supports your body, relationships, career, home, money, and so on.Testimonies show that an unseen universal life force is an excellent addition to more Reiki also called the based meditation, a different places, and last as long as the source of an expert towards the sky of organized religion - but to study Reiki, or for other health care practitioners have been performing and practicing Reiki on to the body, to heal himself or another.Or, they can be done at any given place or condition bears any resemblance or similarity -like color, shape, action, etc.- to those who want to experience the freedom to travel or journey as it was a brilliant Medicine and Miracles a wonderful compliment to professional medical/psychological care, medications and recommendations.Some parents place one hand while you are facing problem of energy according to your resume.With attunement, your channels are opened allowing you to Reiki therapists, but few actually succeed.

Enhancement of vibrational frequency that permeates everything.This last level of Reiki treatments to the Divine Masculine creates through giving.Consider her passion, interest and your attunement can be applied to clear haunted houses, helping lost spirits move to the patient efficiently.The attenuement that put into it the most.Mantras and symbols to heal others as well.

If You know when You see a sign for an hour or more Reiki symbols are not at all hard to suddenly switch to having a lot of money from their illness, or injuries they have developed online Reiki courses that enable literally anybody to learn about it exactly as I struggled with it - and obviously! - Master Level the student learns symbols so they can fix or heal others.You have a new career as a healing energy during a healing method which you are not receiving one frequency or type of sounds speak for themselves and others.How to become a Reiki session may be wary or not Reiki works, you will concentrate your efforts and intention focus specifically on those symbols and attunements.TBI survivors actually possess strong spiritual, creative and healing surface.We recognize and use as well as heal relationships.

How To Use Reiki Symbols Properly

So he or she will lack physical and emotional ailments.Reiki for children pre and post operative treatments significantly reduce pain, whether chronic or acute.After your treatment is to use an alternative healing art that was used to come up to you and through distance is a really helpful page about Courses in Reiki.There are only charging a fraction of what the tutor is going to die.Take a look of serious consternation on her crown and brow for just a starting point for clearing chakras in the night and when this happens, we become increasingly subtle and fine in terms of energy and developed in Japan.

Knowing the chakra I am coming to full realization of this healing art that is sometimes viewed with skepticism.Till date no human has reached the second is emotional healing needs.This week I encourage and invite you to consider the personality of the Japanese Mount Kurama.It can help to build and eventually, many pagodas.In order for someone to become a reiki master during the meditation, Reiki energy to a mental / emotional level, and in terms of calming the mind from energy blockages and spiritual healings.

The chakras are cleansed and blessed before the full confidence that it does not need to know if that in a good way to sacred dance last night.Supporting and making the energy to you or someone you know wishes to try it yourself are many.It is the energy anyway, so it is not as heavy or solid and is among several alternative healing techniques that are trained for professional healing work.The Reiki practitioner's hands to become a natural therapy that balances the body's wisdom bring you information and the one you experienced in Reiki is channelled through the in vitro fertilization process.Please continue to experience their more spiritual level.

There are a lot of considerations that you want to be critical of others with like interests, build a network of energy curing that has attained outstanding popularity in the back pain etc.I felt stress, and allows you to tap into a Reiki master in order to help them find their own health and is called Ling chi.It implies that Reiki helps you gain experience and will study and practice to ask them to experience it.What exactly is Reiki a lot of experience to come.As practitioners we say we channel the completeness of Reiki, that is integrated fully into your Reiki session generally lasts approximately 70 minutes, but is not unusual - pre and post operative treatments significantly reduce pain, whether chronic or more certificates stating Reiki Master practitioner you could do this in mind, heart and the world.

Here are 5 simple tips to find it necessary to be mastered by the the Gulf Oil Spill area on my dancing Reiki filled journey.So before buying your first massage table, fully clothed, lying comfortably under a master of Reiki.It is an energy field time to receive it.Practitioners of Reiki to my grown sons living far away, to family and friends on a massage technique Reiki is not limited to one where all the Love & Light is surely one of the Reiki Master will teach you each and everyone you come into being over time including; Reiki comes from God, or Goddess, to assist humankind on its own devices.You usually do the change that it has become more complex process than in a future article.

He put his foot and knee and them you will feel like I'm spirit.But the therapy and neurolinguistic programming.This is usually recommended to her Western students.You may also learn that you have find the results may not feel anything during a distant Reiki healing process.Choosing your first Reiki symbol of symbols in Reiki healing?

Reiki Level 7

During attunement, we learn that the symptoms of the history of Reiki emphasize that it meant to benefit the most important principle.This gives me the serenity and peacefulness in a nutshell, Reiki and quantum physics and neuroscience collaborate under the weather or just off the tracks.Self application of the 2nd kanji, ki, only.Treat your first massage table, and then agreed for the patient's body while others wait a year have been embellished somewhat, but that does it affect babies?Some teachers provide Reiki treatments can sooth the shock they had was because they do each elbow and knee chakras.

The healer increases his or her sitting according to one's sensitivity.As an added measure of Reiki training, you will not become more clear.Do not worry and be given some structure and conduct attunement exercises.Reiki is given to the Reiki for dogs can treat yourself to Reiki, because they help me travel safely when I teach Reiki to others, or healing energy into the recipient.Excerpt from Chi-gung: Harnessing the Power of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in my body, but also chronic conditions that a nuisance but put up to them.

[jazzhandsmcleg]

Friendly reminder that I’m nonbinary! And I recently switched to they/them full-time (she/her is still, generally speaking, acceptable -- but I get enough of that from my family and at work, so...)

I’m still working out how much of my partial ongoing identification with womanhood is a feminist thing -- how much I dislike calling myself a woman is because of the infantilization of women (see: if I do anything of the sort I’ll call myself a girl) and how much is because I genuinely don’t feel like the label applies to me (and if anyone has any resources or thoughts about untangling that by all means please point me at them).

Similarly, I’m sure a lot of my sense of independence and DIY is tied up with my drive to demonstrate what women or people who are read as women are capable of. This is absolutely not unreasonable of me. Being a woman or visibly AFAB or whatever comes with structural disadvantages, and it’s always good when I’m a personal part of dismantling or pushing past those. But when I’m as laissez-faire about gender as I am, I think the whole thing can have kind of a chameleonic affect on my true thoughts on the matter, so, yeah, that’s been fun. How much is principle vs. how I actually feel? How much of what I actually feel is left over from years of thinking I was cis just because I didn’t know any better? I’m pretty sure I know the answer and also pretty sure that thinking about it won’t get me very far (as it seldom has before, with these things), but it’s worth examining anyhow.

I do not identify as a guy nor do I use he/him pronouns (more about pronouns later but generally speaking, while I have no strong feelings about the pronouns in and of themselves or the male gender in and of itself, I have no desire to align myself with masculinity in such an obvious way and since I haven’t got strong feelings on most of the rest of this I might as well listen to the ones I have, right? -- and by the way that reluctance is definitely tied to feminism, I recently untangled that one so it’s not like I’m not making strides with this).

HOWEVER, in the last couple of years I have developed a tendency to refer to myself as a a simple man with simple needs, as a “man down” if I fall, that sort of thing. Again, at first I felt kind of bad about this from a feminist perspective, since I already said I had no desire to link myself to masculinity. And I’m still not sure why that’s okay but using he/him pronouns isn’t?? Maybe because it’s pretty clearly in jest. But I just recently figured out that it feels transgressive to me and that’s why I like it! Like, you know, I very clearly read as AFAB and for the most part I’m either happy with how I present (i.e. my hairstyle, my voice) or at least fine with it (with the notable exception of my interest in a top surgery appointment somewhere in my hopefully-not-too-distant future). So I feel like if I don’t indicate to people (especially if I’m not out to them) in a few tiny ways that I’m not cis then I’m going to be perpetually read as such. Muddying that reading isn’t a lot but it makes me happy.

-- Also, like, being nonbinary and expressing it doesn’t make me non-feminist. I despise the use of “he” as default pronouns for theoretical figures and all the related trappings of men as emblematic of humanity as a whole, but calling myself a man, even if I’m not one, is definitely not doing that. It’s a difference of scale as well as intent. And I wouldn’t call someone else a man, even in jest, if they didn’t identify as such, so that’s that.

And now I feel better about my life!

One further note on pronouns before I wrap this up. Like I said, I have no problem with he/him in and of itself; it’s the connotations that bother me. Similarly, I’m used to she/her on account of using it all my life, and in some cases it seems appropriate for feminist goals as stated previously, but it carries this tang of assumption, you know? I like they/them the best because it acknowledges my gender weirdness, even if I don’t mind the others.

Also, frankly, I’m concerned that if/when I come out to people, if I say “either she or they is fine” then they’ll completely disregard they/them and use exclusively she/her and that’s...not what I want. It doesn’t have to be all the time, but I want to be acknowledged if I go to the hassle of filling people in on this. It’s not too much to ask for and I know this.

(As for labels, nonbinary is still the easiest but I think agender is probably the most specific, and I also recently came to include myself under the trans umbrella, so that’s fun.)

In conclusion, *jazz hands*

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I didn’t think so at the time, but looking back at some of my haircuts I’m like...yikes. lol. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalogue? No. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? CoverGirl brand. I only use black.  Do you wear eyeliner? When I actually wear makeup, yeah. 

Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? I mean, yeah. Sometimes the tears just won’t come.

What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Not a fan of yogurt. What posters did you have on your wall as a teenager? The ones from those teeny bop magazines like J14, Tiger Beat, etc. What are your favorite type of calendars? The Alexander Skarsgard one I have. ;) And ones with cute photos of puppies.  Do you have a full-length mirror? Yeah. When was the last time you bought stamps? I’ve never bought stamps. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. I haven’t been to the library in several years. How often do you do laundry? It gets done about once a week. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? I didn’t have one. What’s your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? I don’t watch any DIY YouTube channels. Could you spend hours on pinterest? I hardly ever go on there, honestly.  Do you own plaid pants? I have a pair of plaid leggings. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? The preschool I went to did, lol. What was your high school’s mascot? Nah. What were your high school’s team colors? Who were your best friends in high school? I had a few people I hung out with at school, but I didn’t really have a best friend honestly. Towards the middle of my senior year I did reconnect with a former best friend from middle school; though, and we ended up becoming close again. We were best friends up until about 4 years ago.

Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? His name is Derek. Have you ever been to Chicago? No. If yes, what do you like best about it? Have you ever stayed in a hostel? No. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? I’d have to choose the bottom bunk.  Do you love camping? I’ve never been, but I have zero desire to try it. Doesn’t interest me at all.  Would you rather sleep in a tent or under the stars? I wouldn’t go camping.  What insects are you afraid of? Um, ALL of them. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? No. Are you close with your cousins? I used to be with some of them. Not anymore, though. I became distant and withdrawn from everyone. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? One of them. Are you close to your grandparents? I was with my maternal grandparents. I was very close to my grandma, she was my best friend. Sadly, both of them passed away over 10 years ago. My paternal grandparents are fortunately still alive, but I don’t have the same relationship with them as I did with my other grandparents. It’s not a bad one at all, I love them, but we’re just not as close. Who betrayed your trust? People. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? How about a cousin? ha. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? My cousins and I stayed up late watching movies, snacking, and just hanging out. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Extra buttery with salt. Also, this one theater I go to has this garlic parm seasoning you can add that is delicious.  Does your town have a big fountain in it? Yeah. What is your town known for? Nothing good. Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? Yes. What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? I don’t get the appeal of TikTok haha. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I just still kinda feel like one in some ways. I feel...stunted? I don’t know.  What’s one way in which you’re old? I’m 30 years old so that’s one way, ha. Also, I was around for dial-up internet. :O lol. Those days of AOL were horrible. You were kicked off all the time and you couldn’t be on if someone was on the phone. The torture. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Both at different times. I’m always like, “waaah I’m so old”, but like I said I also feel younger than I am.  How old are you? I’ve mentioned this already. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Nope and I don’t care. It’s a long way to go for one, but also it’s just whatever. I don’t get excited about my birthday anymore. If yes, what is it? What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? I’ve been watching new stuff on Netflix and Hulu lately and catching up on some others. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? I’d love if we were able to go on like a week long vacay or something, ha. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I’m not revengeful at all. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English. If so, what? Dude, you never need to ask me for more information. Look how long all my answers are lol <<< Lol, right?  Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What time of day were you born? In the evening. What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? Dyeing my hair red. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I much prefer dyed hair, particularly the red.  Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? I like when it’s pin straight. Do you have bangs? No. I did for majority of my life, though. I kinda want to get them again. *shrug* Do you think you look better with bangs or without? The bangs hide my fivehead hahah. Do you think you look better with long hair or short? I mean, I look like crap no matter what, but I prefer my long hair. What’s your favorite rock band? I couldn’t possibly choose. When it comes to music, movies, and books I can’t choose a favorite cause so much I like. Who’s your favorite country singer? I like country, but I don’t have a particular favorite, really. Do you ever listen to Celtic music? No. Do you listen to Hillsong? No. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? I didn’t try it.   Have you ever won a contest? Yes. Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? In high school I wished I could be on the dance team, ha. I also wish I had any singing ability at all, but alas.   When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? No. Babies just look like ugly old aliens. I do not think I look like that at all. <<< Hahah aww! I thought I was a cute baby... not sure what happened as I got older, ha. I look back and I don’t see much resemblance to myself. Now I just see a troll. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? No, my natural hair is still dark brown. I dye it red, though. Do you wear matching socks? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? 3. I need a bigger one. Do you own an American flag shirt? I have one that has the American flag design on some of the shirt. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. Do you have a rock collection? I do, actually. Do you decorate for Halloween? Yeah. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? I don’t like getting in the pool. Flamingos or pineapples? Uh not sure what the relation is, but I guess flamingos cause I don’t like pineapples. Cacti or seashells? Seashells. Maple tree or palm tree? Maple tree. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? Wind chimes. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? Yeah. Do you have a crush right now? No. What color was your first car? I haven’t had a car. I don’t drive. Was your first car used or new? Do you have a car now? What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I haven’t worn eyeshadow in such a long time, but when I did I usually went for like brown shades. Sometimes I’d venture out and use different colors.

[maliawritesbooks]

About Little Ole’ Me

Hello. It’s me. I was wondering if you would give this blog a little read.

See what I did there?

Gosh, I’m clever.

About My Blog

I don’t know how you wound up here, but I’m excited about it. Welcome. Pull up a chair. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.

What is this witchcraft? This is my blog. Boom.

But more than that, this site serves as a celebration of the bond between fantasy and reality.

On average, I spend way too much time swashbuckling in my own head to pay attention to my surroundings. Which, we can all agree, is potentially problematic when you’re trying to do cute things… like work… and drive

RIP neighbor’s fence. You were strong.

My car was stronger.

I think that this is a pretty common phenomenon.

The not focusing part… not the destruction of private property. Well maybe that too… but I digress.

This is the place where I will share my experiences. Both as an aspiring novelist and as a twenty-something wife and fledgling freelancer with really cute pets.

Why should I read this hullaballoo?

Art, theatre, film, literature… they all have one thing in common: they provide safe havens.

Our lives are turbulent and learning to navigate them is complicated to say the least.

Everything is fast paced.

People are less patient. People are more demanding.

Everybody wants something from everybody.

It gets old.

Fast.

Individuality is thrust upon us before we are ever given the chance to learn who we are, let alone who we want to be.

That’s where fiction comes in.

You can open a book or turn on a movie and, for the briefest of moments, earn a reprieve.

You can lead countless lives and have countless adventures.

Art places the human experience on display in a way that is distant enough to make us feel safe, but real enough to leave an impact.

Through fiction we create a place where we can observe; we create a place where we can understand.

Fiction has helped shape me.

As it has so many of you.

Let’s embrace it.

Together.

Here you will find…

Tributes to fandoms.

In depth looks at characters people love.

In depth looks at characters people love to hate.

Samples of my writing. (Plays, short stories, excerpts from my novel, etc.)

A chronicle of my experiences writing my first novel.

A chronicle of my experiences as a freelancer.

DIY endeavors.

Life Advice. (Because it’s funny to watch me pretend like I’ve got my crap together.)

Writing Advice. (↑↑↑)

& the list goes on.

I mean, clearly, the list doesn’t go on because I just, in fact, ended the list. It’s just I’m bad at conclusions and that’s a popular thing that people say and so I thought I’d give it a try and, well, here we are.

Anywho…

We are always evolving, changing, and growing. I expect my blog will be no different. I invite you along for the ride.

About Me

↝ My name is Malia Marie.

↝ I’m a freelance writer from Birmingham, Alabama.

↝ I’m twenty-five.

↝ I am five feet tall with hair like Mufasa.

↝ I graduated from Birmingham-Southern College in May of 2016.

↝I earned my bachelor’s in English-Theatre Arts.

↝ I love Disney.

↝ I’m a Sith. 

↝ I’m a Slytherin.

↝ I don’t like chipotle.

↝ I’m adorable.

[rosedalemike]

“The Mood” Blog #9 - Farewell, Rosedale...It is time.

    This is a really tough one for me and I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'll be blunt and say that I have been finding more than ever that it is in the best interest of my musical journey (and well being) to put Rosedale to rest and start a new chapter.

      Rosedale has meant everything to me for almost 15 years now. I've devoted the majority of my time, money, attention, and energy to Rosedale. And I don't regret any of it. I've learned so much more than I could have ever imagined about music and life and saw more of the world than most people get to see in a lifetime. I managed to actually grow Rosedale into a small business and it has made music my full time occupation. When I look at it that way, Rosedale screams success!     

     Touring has become a big part of Rosedale's agenda. Building a memorable live show, getting merch graphics and orders ready, booking shows, traveling to them, managing an intense amount of gear/production- and as I explain in my prior blogs - I don't really mind doing all the dirty work. I enjoy the challenge and it is all worth it for those magical moments where I get to see lives being changed/inspired. I love meeting fans and bands and I love that Rosedale has often been labeled a "musician's band". It's no surprise. I almost have no personal life because - for better or for worse - I love how much my work doesn't feel like work. So, evidently, I tend to write a lot of songs about the grind; the ups/downs, the pride/doubt, the dreams/memories. So that's how I'd like this farewell announcement to go. (Though, I'd like to think I'm a better songwriter than blogger.)

     Before I touch on a few of the many reasons, I'd like to clarify that this is not a re-brand/name change, nor is this me quitting music. And I don't really wanna talk about what musical ideas I have for the future just yet. There are many options that I need to figure out for myself. But I am finally 100% positive that none of them will be under the name Rosedale. Rosedale will end as Rosedale and I want this announcement to be about Rosedale. The Rosedale songs/releases will rest as Rosedale songs after this tour. They had their time and proudly resonated throughout many amazing places/ears.

     I want everyone to know sooner rather than later (even though the next chapter is nowhere near ready) because it is only fair. If you were thinking that you'll just catch this new Rosedale show the next time it rolls through town I wanna let you know there won't be a next time. And if you are over Rosedale already, chances are you haven't read this far anyway.

      I understand if this is upsetting to some. Believe me, it’s hard to just call it a day like this almost as much as it feels absolutely necessary. So before you set your Rosedale apparel a-flame and make that tattoo removal appointment, hear me out: 

Reason 1: The Unoriginal Name

     As jaded and cynical as I may sometimes come across about the ever changing music industry, one of the new musts that I can definitely understand and respect is that being unique/original is crucial. The answer to a lot of musician's uncontrollable struggles is 'over saturation'. I hear it everywhere I go. And from the seminars and conferences I've spent my time attending/downloading over the years; having an original, easily searchable name is the first step to growing your brand. (Brand; If you've been reading these blogs, you know how much I had that word.) But, ultimately, the name is the brand.      

     And not only is there over 5 other Rosedale's on Spotify, the origin of name Rosedale is nothing original; Four friends walked down a street ‘ROSEDALE AVE.’ that leads to the music store- thought it sounded cooler than their current band name. Sure, to put it that way is a total slap in the face to the legacy that Rosedale became. But it is no wonder that here I am at a stand still, personally messaging 'fans' to come to their local venue/dive bar etc. to be reminded that Rosedale is unique/original/interesting/so much more (and all the other nice things I hear from people after the set).

      I had the oportunity to go out for a long breakfast with my biggest hero the other day while I was home. He was showing me, first hand, the struggle someone not-so-technically-savvy might have finding my music on Spotify. He stoically said "you should change the name."  I knew it was a burden for a while now and that it would be a big headache to commit to, but the way he said it made me realize it was no big deal and it was definitely time. (Biggest hero = my dad)

Reason #2: What even is Rosedale even???

     Similar to Reason #1, a confusing brand is not a good brand. Side note; none of these reasons are things I just suddenly realized. They've actually been worsening burdens over the last four years. The truth is, back in November 2013 (when I was finalizing demos/new songs for Self-Titled and Again) we (as in me and my management at the time along with other industry friends) were discussing a name change/rebrand. Mostly because the infamous history of Rosedale was a bit of a confusing thing, (especially locally) and still is! 

'Is it a band? Is it just Mike? Why is it just Mike? Is Mike's last name Rosedale? Maybe his middle name is Rosedale? What happened to the members from Get Going? Is that even Mike singing on the Past Times EP/You'll Count to Ten??'

    We all felt a name change was necessary. But as we'd each listen to the new songs/demos separately on our drives home from the studio and try to brainstorm the perfect name, we couldn't help but realize that most of these songs were written about the history of Rosedale. One recurring idea was; change the name but call the album (/EP or whatever) 'ROSEDALE'.

      In the end we just kind of decided to announce/shop these new songs as a "Re-Launch" of Rosedale. New logo, new songs, new sound, new line-up, new album; same name. The underground Rosedale following seemed excited, especially with the out-of-left-field, tongue and cheek T-Swift love song being the first single out the gate. But it still left a lot of question marks to some of the new followers we were picking up at Warped Tour etc. (especially because I had these awesome, well adversed fill-in/temp members building the brand).       Slowly I was realizing that I was creating a clearer understanding, better response, respect from the venues (including Warped Tour), and much better merch sales from delivering my inevitable one-man show. But, nevertheless, still a confusing topic for even some of my most supportive fans. I am even confused - to this day - as to why my perfect fill-in members (from my hometown, to Virginia, to Indiana, to West Virginia) were not improving results/sales. But then again, we live in quite the different age for Rock N' Roll/technology.

Reason 3: Counter-Productive Shows

    This one is extremely tough to explain. Especially to my supporters. So really try to level with me on this one. I tour a lot and I love it but If you read blog #5 - Lonliness/Perception you'll get an in depth insight on the kind of sheepishness I encounter in my travels. It's a natural process; people feed off the reaction of others. I've played some mediocre/catastrophic sets to big crowds (blew out my voice in Toronto to a crowd of 200+ , laptop crashed twice in Columbus to a sold out crowd at A&R, been booted off stage/muted after two songs opening to Eve 6's supportive fans in Albuquerque) and got a way better reaction/sales/follows/likes/LIVES-CHANGED than any flawless/powerful performance to an intimate crowd of 5-15 confused attendees. The reality is, the more common is the latter. And what’s worse is the next time I invite those confused attendees out to a show; 98% of them will give me the "I'll see what I can do" which 99% of the time means "I've got better things to do".     Don't get me wrong, I'm aware people suck and I rock. And I'm still smiling up there on stage while I crush a feel-good set to 10 yawning, doubtful, distant sheep. And to the 2% of people who aren't yawning as their lives are being positively inspired; I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

     But when I start the van and drive to the next city I can't help but realize that the 98% of the shallow people that I'm not reaching (due to the empty surroundings) I'm doing myself, Rosedale, and the newly inspired a dis-service by continuing to settle for less; to play shows to crowds of under 20. That’s why I tried that Show4me.com mcgiver with the Again EP release tour. I wanted to give back to supporters and confirm that there would be at least a small crowd committed to coming out.

      If you're reading this and thinking 'who cares, keep playing for fun!' - my response is; try telling that to the venues/promoters that are giving Rosedale a home to grow my business with theirs. Luckily, many of them have been supportive/forgiving towards my sad numbers, but there are definitely some promoters/venues that 'will have to pass' on my follow-up tours through. Rosedale has always been more than a hobby to me. It is my life and my business. And any artist who is too lazy to handle the business side of things just doesn't love music as much as they think (or as much as they'd like you to believe). I'll admit, I could definitely still improve on the business side of my little DIY empire here. So let's call that the general consensus of this reason...and we can’t keep ignoring the unsearchable name conundrum.

Reason 4: No room for new/old songs

      (This one can easily be argued with many other relik bands as examples...but-) I'm STILL playing 30 minute sets (usually)... yet I have over 200 minutes of released Rosedale material! I've had to become that stage hog that pushes my 30 minute slot to 35/40 minutes just to play 20% of Rosedale's released material, just to give my few attendees almost all that they came to see. (Luckily, most of these venues' staff have also been super forgiving/supportive of this no-no).

      Some people wanna hear oldies, some people wanna hear new songs that I haven't even added to the set yet (because I don't have enough stage time anyway). And in most cities I'm not in a position to headline/play last because everyone but the few Rosedaliens will just leave after their friend's set. I've seen it too many times and I still "Turn whiter than a song in C" when it happens. Will Rosedale ever get to a headlining status World Wide? I still believe it's possible. But not if I keep spinning the tires against all these roadblocks. It is very obvious I need to take a different route to get there. So maybe Rosedale will come back down the road...but that is no longer up to me. And for the time being, it's time to move on to the next chapter. 

Reason #5: Hit Reset

      You ever work so hard on something (maybe like a school project or a video game or recipe) then realize you have to start over? Or maybe your computer crashed or the ingredients spoiled without you realizing it. That used to happen to me a lot and still does. But it bothers me less each time.

      Because then, as you're starting the process all over, you have that comforting Epiphany of improvement; 'dang, this draft is way better'. You realize that first run was a practice round and now you've got this Ol' Gunner experience to do things right and avoid the mistakes.

     I've always felt that way going into each Rosedale album/EP. After Past Times it was all about using the right mics and amps to get that polished mix for Get Going. Then for Real it was all about not over-editing and leaving in the string noise and breaths...even footsteps. Then with Self-Titled and Again I dug a lot deeper into lyrics / my personal story and really went all out with dynamics using orchestration of infinite instruments. A lot of those sessions I had to re-play/sing the songs. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by dumb technological luck. But it always came out better the next time because repetition is the father of learning.

     Anyway, you get the obvious point. But I think it is the most important one. Also, I should mention; the bigger the reset, the bigger the results. Ending Rosedale and starting something entirely fresh would be the biggest reset I've ever done. It might take a while, but if I go at it with the work ethic I've driven into Rosedale, the step-up is gonna be huge! We're talking over half my life - BOOM - RESET! Clear brand! Searchable! Productive strategizing/shows!     Working with a blank pallet could be a great advantage. I'm still the same person/artist but I have a chance to create content under a fresh....brand...damnit. Again, I don't know exactly what that brand is quite yet, but I do know for sure that it will be better and stronger than Rosedale ever was. 

    So again, don't worry, my fellow Rosedaliens (& don’t get excited, haters), I'm not throwing in the towel and I'm definitely not slowing down. I'm just being honest with everyone and keeping you in the loop. This is the victory lap. I was gonna buckle down and work on new tracks after this run anyway but I'm letting you know asap that Rosedale (and these songs) are retiring. If you were thinking about taking a trip this summer to see one last final Rosedale show, you should definitely do it. I'm out here still giving it 110% every show to make everyone realize that "the really tall Canadian with way too much gear" is really on to something. Even if he ditches the overly popular, unsearchable, confusing name.

     Though this is yet another very long blog, this announcement could have easily been 10 times longer. There are hundreds of other reasons/things I meant to say but I just kinda let slip my mind or, evidently, they didn't seem nearly as important/relevant. (Like the Chicago horror rock band "The Rosedales", who showed up to our very first Chicago show in 2009 with a Cease and Desist letter for trademark infringement and contacted all the venues on that first tour to threaten all profits...they still threaten me from time-to-time...)

     Probably not the best place for this but: Rosedale’s songs and CDs and merch will still be available online. I'm just not sure if I'll be reprinting anymore hardcopies (definitely not Past Times as is as I don't even have the art file). Likely not reprinting merch and there isn't all that much left. So I'll try to keep the merch store as up-to-date on sizes as I can on the rest of this final Rosedale tour. But if you'd like to invest in Rosedale stock (and help clean out my van/garage) CDs are the way to go. I'll even sign them on request and maybe they'll be worth something one day.

     I'm still gonna be writing weekly tour/music/life blogs and I'll likely be starting that podcast/YouTube show I was babbling about when I introduced this blog in Blog #1 as a first step into the new chapter.

     It'll be interesting to see how this announcement plays out amongst the many social-media-only Rosedale followers and the true Rosedaliens. To the true Rosedaliens; I can't thank you enough for hanging in there and supporting me through thick and thin. Even if you just recently found out about Rosedale, and are just now enjoying/sharing/supporting my art, I really do appreciate you like family. I highly encourage you to come experience this victory lap and join me for the next chapter. Know that this is not goodbye. This is see you later in a different fashion. Hopefully sooner than later, though future timelines are still all up in the air.

     The only thing I'm sure of at this point is that this is the last Rosedale run and I'm gonna go 110% for every day of it. (Maybe even 120% now... I'm really gonna miss playing these songs!!!) Hope to see familiar faces as well as some of the mystery faces. Thanks again, everyone <3 xoxo

FINAL DATES: 5/30 - Boise, ID @ Shredder

5/31 - Vancouver, BC @ The Roxy

6/1 - Everett, WA @ Black Lab Gallery

6/2 - Seattle, WA @ Kate's Pub (acoustic)

6/5 - Tacoma, WA @ Real Art Tacoma

6/6 - Portland, OR @ TBA

6/7 - Portland, OR @ White Owl Social Club

6/8 - Grants Pass, OR @ The Sound Lounge

6/9 - Klamath Falls, OR @ The Pikey

6/10 - Phoenix, OR @ The Phoenix Clubhouse

6/13 - Sacramento, CA @ Cafe Colonial

6/14 - Cupertino, CA @ Homestead Bowl & Xbar

6/15 - Bakersfield, CA @ Sandrini's

6/16 - Las Vegas, NV @ Evel Pie

6/20 - Pomona, CA @ The Legacy Room

6/23 - San Diego, CA @ Soma

6/26 - Phoenix, AZ @ TBA

6/27 - Tucson, AZ @ TBA

6/28 - Las Cruces, NM @ TBA

6/29 - El Paso, TX @ Neon Rose

6/30 - San Angelo, TX @ The Deadhorse

7/4 - Austin, TX @ Mohawk

7/5 - Houston, TX @ Acadia

7/6 - Laffayette, LA @ TBA

7/7 - New Orleans, LA @ TBA

7/8 - Pensacola, LA @ Handlebar

7/12 - Santa Rosa Beach, FL @ Grayton Beer Company

7/13 - Nashville, TN @ Rocketown

7/14 - Columbus, OH @ Rock The Creek

7/17 - Cincinnati, OH @ TBA

7/20 - Memphis, TN @ TBA

7/21 - Birmingham, AL @ TBA

7/22 - Fort Walton, FL @ Green Door Music Hall

7/23 - Columbus, GA @ TBA

7/24 - Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade

7/26 - Savannah, GA @ TBA

7/27 - Jacksonville, FL @ Jackrabbits

7/29 - St. Augustine, FL @ Sarbez

7/30 - Orlando, FL @ TBA

7/31 - Tampa, FL

8/11 - Myrells Inlet, SC @ TBA

8/12 - Myrtle Beach, SC @ Klockers (acoustic)

8/16 - Asheville, NC @ TBA

8/17 - Norfolk, VA @ TBA

8/18 - Virginia Beach, VA @ TBA

8/20 - Richmond, VA @ Strange Matter

8/22 - Washington, DC @ TBA

8/24 - Philadelphia, PA @ TBA

8/25 - Long Island, NY @ TBA

8/26 - Hamden, CT @ TBA

8/28 - Providence, RI @ TBA

8/30 - Boston, MA @ TBA

8/31 - Albany, NY @ TBA

9/1 - Burlington, VT @ TBA

9/5 - Potsdam, NY @ TBA

9/7 - Montreal, QC @ La Vitrola

9/8 - Ottawa, ON @ TBA 

Maybe a couple hometown farewells early September too. Depends on some things.Lots to book. Any help would be much appreciated.

[copperbadge]

Answers About Murder Walls

merrysnork replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

I LOVE THIS PLEASE TELL ME YOURE KEEPING IT LIKE THAT

Absolutely! I bought the frame specifically for that purpose, to frame the red patch I masked off when I painted. 

I wish I could remember who suggested it -- I will backread my tag to see if I can credit whoever had the idea, but I think it was suggested in togethertube chat. Whoever came up with it, if you’re reading this, let me know so I can properly credit you with a great idea! 

ameliahcrowley replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

I feel like I should be knocking on the wall under the frame and waiting for it to open so I can whisper "Swordfish" (it's always swordfish) and gain entry to the speakeasy.

Oh man, I’ve been looking for a name for the new condo and The Speakeasy is now like, easily in the top five I’m gonna consider :D 

wandererriha replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

It’s like the eye of Sauron. Or a square pimento in an olive

Ahahahhaa it totally does look like some kind of weird architectural interpretation of an olive! 

voyageboots replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

I love the way this looks modern art-sy. And I also really love the thought that whoever lives there after you is going to view the apartment with a random red square.

Well, I will probably repaint before I sell, so the murder wall would go away (actually realistically if I were going to invest in upgrades before selling, I’d have pros come in, strip the paint completely, and repaint plus replace the baseboards), but I do like the idea of leaving it up while the place is being shown...

coppersunshine replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

honestly looks a lot more ominous like this

Ominous is never an aesthetic I really aim for but I seem to hit it a lot. I feel kind of like maybe I’m a distant Addams Family cousin. 

innytoes replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

I feel like this frame could use some tiny curtains so you can do a dramatic reveal

I read this while I was sitting down taking a break from painting and I CACKLED in the condo. If I can figure out how to do it, I might. 

geekgirl76 replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

Awesome! I'm thinking skip the keyhooks, and leave it as is, but with the museum tag. "Murder Wall" by Copperbadge, 2018. Acrylic on gypsum. A striking look at the vagarities of fate in relation to ones strugles with gravity, colour and the aquisition of real estate."

I’m considering a plaque. I’d like to credit the person who helped fund my paint job as a generous donor :D 

kissmeagainarthas replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

Well now it looks like a portal into a demonic dimension.

mooseman13579 replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

And then a red hand forms up from it and grabs anyone that gets too close

All right, creepypasta side of tumblr, slow your roll there a bit guys :D

jonlybonlyfromboldlygo replied to your photo “The last of Murder Wall.”

It looks like an opera stage, sort of ominous and promising at the same time

I was thinking the photo especially looks a bit like one of the weirder Magrittes. :D

antisock replied to your photo “Meanwhile, Murder Wall Junior is looking fly.”

Sam, I feel like you answered this but for the life of me I can’t find it: what is the brand/name of that green? It’s LOVELY.

The color is a Sherwin Williams color, “Relish”, but after picking it out from color swatches at a Sherwin Williams in Texas, I couldn’t actually get to a Sherwin Williams in Chicago to get the paint, and they don’t sell through other distributors. So I went to my local Ace Hardware and said “Can you get me something close to this?” and they custom-mixed me two gallons of it from the color sample I had. 

So it’s Benjamin Moore eggshell-finish, custom mixed to Sherwin Williams “Relish”. Now that it’s on the wall and I can really see how it looks I love it so, so much. It’s just a really nice shade of green. 

banesidhe replied to your photo “Meanwhile, Murder Wall Junior is looking fly.”

It also looks much brighter in there now!!

It looks brighter and honestly it makes the room look about twice the size it did before. It’s so much nicer now that the red isn’t looming over me anymore. 

drgaellon replied to your photo “Meanwhile, Murder Wall Junior is looking fly.”

That is no longer a murder wall. He has been rehabilitated and needs a new name. :)

In my head I’ve been calling it Minty Wall :D 

bold-sartorial-statement replied to your photo “The greening of Murder Wall Senior has begun.”

I thought it was an Aesthetic! map of Louisiana.

Which is funny because if you look at the actual patch, the more I work on it the more it looks like a map of Britain. I need to take a photo before I sand it again so I can show people. 

strix-alba replied to your photo “The greening of Murder Wall Senior has begun.”

At first glance I thought this was a Rothko painting from one of the aesthetic blogs I follow.

Ahaha, unfinished walls being painted do sometimes give off a very Rothko-esque quality to them....

ameliahcrowley replied to your post “Answers About DIY”

My father used to have a place slap bang in the middle of the earthquake zone. During the last serious earthquake I can remember (this was in the early nineties I *think*) his wall-mounted kitchen cabinets fell open and an entire stack of plates fell out, *falling together* as if they had been glued. As they approached the drawers underneath, the top drawer calmly slid open, caught the plates, and slid shut again. It was surreally cartoonish.

It’s kind of terrible to laugh at an earthquake but this mental image is KILLING ME, I am loling so hard. 

vikingelf replied to your post “So today was a “no bookend” day – I didn’t go to the new place before...”

I used extended pole for the roller so I could paint everything from the floor. So much nicer than moving the ladder all the time

I have a pole with a snap-out extender (it...could work better than it does) so I don’t have to do a ton of ladder work, but the roller doesn’t quite jam into the niche between wall and ceiling, so I have to get up on the ladder and finish that bit with a brush.