#the thought is giving me Great Joy
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More dark 4halo thoughts because i am insane ^_^
I think Foolish would enable their relationship being TERRIBLE. Like, he WOULD encourage Bad to actually marry Forever and say that maybe it'll fix him. Maybe if Bad marries Forever, Forever will snap out of it! And Foolish thinks he's doing well, giving Bad hope and making him less depressed. Bad DOES have hope, he thinks that maybe Foolish is right so he accepts Forever's proposal. But Foolish was never right. Forever is just as bad, if not worse. He never acknowledges anything wrong obviously, he randomly snaps at Bad and starts calling him a terrible husband for constantly playing that ticking noise near him and Bad just keeps holding onto Foolish's words. Everything will fix itself. All Bad needs to do is stay and love Forever. Foolish, of course, never expected Bad to actually do it and now he's watching everything and he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say and he doesn't know how to fix it.
oh you're SO right that foolish would encourage it !! foolish has already encouraged it . #2 4halo truther for real (cellbit is #1 <3) the thought of bad having hope tho... AUGH my heart. idk what could cause him to have that hope that being a good husband would fix everything but the thought of him seeing a solution and chasing after it so doggedly and never ever being able to reach it... UAHG. forever delusional with drugs and bad delusional with hope. maybe he thinks that he can sweet talk forever into bringing the eggs back. maybe this is just a heartbreaking extension of his bargaining stage. maybe he looks at foolish one day and he bares his teeth and he knows the federation is the enemy but he wouldn't have gone through with this if it weren't for foolish and- it's comforting to blame foolish for things. its normal. he cannot think straight and he is full of grief and foolish is right there, so he asks forever to destroy the dragon. (and thus starts a bonus bbh corruption arc where bad starts to trick himself into thinking that forever is Right and siding himself against the other islanders. the blame starts with foolish, and then expands from there)
#Anonymous#dark 4halo#qsmp#at some point ill write a fic that plays more into proper bbh characterization of how he'd deal with all of this but im having fun so :D#i only really worry about characterization when im doing analysis and this whole dark 4halo trend is Not That (except for. the one that Was#anyway ik you were leaning into foolish feeling guilty for what he started but im a multishipping bastard and the thought of 4halo married#but bad and foolish have a gayass genuine RIVALRY without their mutual understanding of what they are#just absolute malice#the thought is giving me Great Joy#shape answers
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decided to join in on @quezify’s eggtober again this year as a little art warmup and I actually ended up really enjoying it!! it’s obviously way outside of my usual comfort zone so I’m very happy that I was able to create an end result that I’m proud of :)
#eggtober gives me SO much joy I’m so happy it’s happening again#I did two eggs last year and really enjoyed them so I thought it would be fun to try again and I was right!#I experimented with some new things and I really think I made some great progress from last years attempts :)#eggtober#eggtober2023#my art#art#‘warmup’ my ass lmao. I spent at least an hour on this.#felt rlly good tho#v fun I highly recommend trying to make an Egg even if you think it’s way outside of ur abilities!!#it really pushes you to experiment and play around and just have fun with art!
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the scarf is coming along and soon I'll have to get used to wearing *gasp* actual colors that aren't black or grey or so dark they could be mistaken for black when it's dark out
#still not sure abt the colors#I kinda took whatever yarns felt comfy&homey to me#which might be why it matches my apartment decor a bit too much lmao going out dressed like my apartment sure okay that works#it's also giving ''scarecrow'' to me for some reason (tho.. I could be madder abt it like scarecrow could be a look)#anyways the joy of doing things urself is that u can choose whatever colors and just sorta see how it goes#like idk if it's colorblind combo but I think I'm definitely gonna be wearing it#(my main point wasn't to make something actually super good and great; just to have something to do and practice my knitting which like#I made a hat like 9 years ago and have barely done anything since (aside from like 4 random squares when I once thought I'd knit a blanket#but like dude?? a blanket as the second thing u've ever knitted?? that was too ambitious. So hence a scarf; a small blanket))#aesthetic#I truly dont know any arts&crafts tags#studyblr#booklr#bookblr#december 2024#2024
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God i just wish we could have a scene of the four current bridgerton in-laws together. Just the four of them. Like, just imagine it, four of the most different people on the planet, who all married into the most beautiful and insane family in the ton.
#idk what they'd even talk about#besides their spouses i guess lol#the thought just gives me great joy#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#simon basset#kate sharma#john stirling#penelope featherington#tbh i feel like it would be awhile before kate warmed up to simon#meanwhile simon would immediately like kate#john and simon would actually get along pretty well tbh#not a lot of conversation goin on there tho#kate is very fond of john#and kate has been ride or die for pen from day one#simon and penelope being buds just makes me laugh but idk if it would happen
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For the second Christmas in a row, @nikmoire sent me a painting of a post of my dog, Petey!! It's spectacular ✨️ It looks just like her, and she captured Petey's spirit!! I love this painting!!! ❤️ This painting is extra special because it's a painting of Petey getting her shark toy for her 7th birthday. I'm very lucky to have found such a great friend as I did in @nikmoire !!! She sent me pictures of Phoebe and Finlay, too, and some adorable stickers!! 😍 Thank you so very, very, very much for these precious and thoughtful gifts! I'm gonna frame Petey's painting and hang it next to the other one that you sent me last Christmas. I treasure these paintings very much 😁😍🫂 I am lucky to share the Tumblrverse with great people like @nikmoire !! Thank you again!!! 😊 Good friends make life so much better and mine is great because of my friends!! 💜💜💜
#Petey#painting#Christmas gift#@nikmoire#i am blessed#great friends#i love her#i love the Tumblrverse#love#happiness#thank you#sharing#joy#giving#kindness#beauty#true friends#I'm sooooooo lucky#this is awesome#7th birthday#shark toy#Phoebe and Finlay#stickers#you made me very happy#thoughtful#generous#life is good#thanks again#i love this sooooooo much#❤️
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update on love song event: i am hard at work on remaining requests! so far im planning to complete every one i’ve gotten so far, it just might take me a while bc i’ve been really busy as of late 🙈
#love song event!#kitty rant in the tags incoming→#no one look at me#this is slightly embarrassing for me as i usually don’t get insanely personal on here#esp about my genuine personal issues 😬#i am an unserious person by nature😋#but i’ve been really struggling w my mental health lately?? and it’s been kicking my ass#i have a feeling it’s at least partially rooted in the whiplash of having my writing be publicly viewed#i’ve been writing for like eeeever but i’ve never posted it anywhere#and i finally got up the courage to start putting it out there#and it’s been rlly fun!! i’ve met a lot of great people and had many nice things said about my stuff#generally a very positive experience#unfortunately i have MAD anxiety and overthink everything to death#and the constant like influx of having my inner thoughts viewed by people#makes my head hurt#and my heart race#and it’s made me feel very performative?? and overthink like who am i doing this for#bc it used to be just for me?#and idk where that whimsy and joy has gone#so i’ve been thinking abt taking a step back and like#LMAO like reconnecting w the kitty who likes writing stupid shit in her notes app#bc this constant access to all of this is nawtttt good for me i think#i won’t be gone gone i’ll still be around i just need to give myself some grace yk LMAO n time to recover from this shitty ass week#if ur still here ily hi hello sorry this has been kitty’s inner thoughts and feelings goodbye :)
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I woke up with this realisation today:
So Bojan's favourite colour is pink right?
And Jere's yellow?
Guess which flag features BOTH pink and yellow >:3
Never beaten the alligations for my queerplatonic headcanon x'D
#I squealed a bit of joy when I realised#the boys are litterally the queer platonic flag :'D#jere can be the yellow and black (bc he wears a lot of black)#bojan can be the pink and white (since compared to jere he does wear a lot of white and wears it well)#and so when they get together they are grey (not the most inspiring colour to be but heck still great)#btw I am still not trying to put any identity on this guys fr#just having a bit of shipping fandom fun#but oh they give me queerplatonic partner goals :'D#jere pöyhönen#käärijä#bojan cvjetićanin#joker out#micahs thoughts#micahs foolery
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i don't think i can be normal about Sunday guys
#hsr#hsr spoilers#i haven't even FINISHED it yet but his ideology is so warped. i cheered when i thought Gallagher had killed him for real#im not upset he's alive though i do think it's a bit of a cop-out . but. ouhghhhh something is so wrong with his mind (/positive.)#it's successfully looped back around to loving his character though. when there's a fucked up guy in a story i either#1) get very hostile towards them because i feel like they aren't being portrayed enough like the villain i see them as#or 2) become Obsessed with them forever because they are just so fucking . Wrong. like .#ayato genshin impact falls into both of these categories simultaneously like a fucking electron.#but sunday. he has wholeheartedly landed himself in the second category. i need to dissect him and maybe like. idk. give him a cake (?)??#Come Experience The Joys. Idiot. and also maybe listen to your sister.#honestly i REALLY like robin i think she's super super great and has good ideas#i really really love the like. the.#the contrast between his like. his horrible pessimistic nihilistic ideology. and robins optimistic harmonious one.#like robin seems to kind of... not be able to understand that sometimes nihilism is the only way to survive and that it's a balance#survival is good but hard to break out of... you need to survive enough to be ABLE to live. she seems to idealize living in opposition to it#whereas sunday is like. there are people who can ONLY survive. sometimes living isn't an option because the world is cruel and we don't all#get that choice. sometimes surviving is all you can do. why not embrace that? why not build a place where people can postpone death?#if fulfillment isn't possible... then why not accept placation even if it is a poison to the soul? surely joyful prison is better than death#if all that awaits in the world is suffering then why not let the bird live the rest of its days in its cage... even if it is unfulfilling?#HE'S SO . RHGHHGHGHFHGHHVGJF#he feels like he's on the brink of a misanthropic suicidal breakdown to me. someone fucking help him (but not really)#(i don't think anyone should be subjected to his brain. but i would like to see him get better. actually i think robin is trying for sure)#anyway. very curious how this quest is going to end. i want to rip him limb from limb and then stitch him back together again after#my posts
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These are the days in your life
When the price of time is free
Like your daddy said the world is yours
So let it flow naturally
#You know the perk of dead dad is that it overshadows the evil ex bff thing and I hardly worry about it anymore#Sure I could succumb to the Grief of a codependent homoerotic teenage friendship#Or I could just go 'wait a minute... my dad is dead' and cry about that instead#Paradoxically im feeling so much joy recently#Life goes on#I meet new friends who give me hugs and don't treat me like crap#And I go thrifting with people and laugh and I don't think of her until I'm already home#Everyone say 'I hope she doesn't come home for Christmas because I fear i will pass away if I have to interact with her ever again'#Like sup queen. Do you feel bad?#Cause i... feel great#Living and loving and not manipulating my roommate (poor roommate) (I hope she's straight for her own sake)#(But if she's anything like me she will fall head over heels regardless)#(Probably she is nothing like me)#(Kinda feel like I should have backed out during the whole 'condoning cheating on your bf' thing)#(I was actually very stupid (read: loving trusting and traumatized) and should have backed out many times but here we are)#Did you know she didn't say anything when my dad died???? Cmon like we aren't friends at all but a dead parent is a huge deal you couldn't#Even pass along well wishes through your stupid (read: very kind and thoughtful) boyfriend???????#Well well well i say I'm over it and here we are#Anywho. On i go#from the couch#for my archives :]#Spotify
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quincey thoughts, because i've defaulted to sharing stuff on a discord server and this account is looking empty;
quincey is naive, in that his view of the world is incredibly black and white and idealistic, and it just so happens that his ideals line up with 'things that would benefit quincey'. meeting shrike is actually a change, in that he learns that there are more than two sides, that the world can not change to how he believes it should be in a moment. that everything happening to him is decades in the making. quincey struggles a lot with the imperfections of the world, and that they disadvantage him specifically. he is unexpectedly extreme, as most people view him as a scholar. a learned person.
conlangs are far out of my expertise, so he doesn't have a real name, but quincey is a nickname. or more of a bastardisation of his real name.
which leads into a lot of other facts. quincey has an accent.
he wasn't fluent in the language of kirliese when he arrived at the coven—he only knew a few words, and spent his first few years learning how to write, read and speak it.
quincey had to relearn writing altogether, as he lost his dominant hand, so it was a more difficult and frustrating process. he was often taught alongside the youngest of the coven.
which he was surprisingly fine with, because he likes children. instead of being self concious, quincey saw himself as a leader and a role model, and it was a mindset that motivated him greatly.
quincey always wanted a younger sibling, but his parents were strangely resistant to the idea. they got him a dog once, except he's tragically ungifted with animals. it bit him and he's been afraid since.
he has quite a few scars from incidents with animals or from sneaking around, learning things that he really really shouldn't be learning.
#shrike & thorn#thought process kind of disappeared here#but thinking about this menace brings me great joy#he's my pathetic lil meow meow#and i give him more horrors on the daily#but also the trend of his isolation and stunted world view? of being an outsider who has to force his way in?#and given little affection in turn?#head in hands crying
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now that ash has time and space powers he should go multiverse hopping
i mean he’s a huge nerd and the multiverse says that every universe must exist somewhere, so personally i think after the years he’s had he deserves a nice vacation. i think he should start off with going to the doctor who universe and meeting the doctor, and then move on to comic book universes
he can drag parvati along and she can get increasingly more exasperated with each ridiculous place he drags her to
#look i am obsessed with ash now having time and space powers and i think he should abuse them#it’s what he deserves#and the thought of ash dragging parvati along on his fangirl vacation spree bring me great joy#also i really really want him to meet the doctor it’s what he deserves#maybe he could find a dnd universe too lol#to make it more Serious he can very real and emotional conversations with all the heroes he looked up to as a kid#giving him advice on how to handle the weight he now struggles with going forward#the ash mistry chronicles#avymiir reads ash mistry#ash mistry#sarwat chadda
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and with that i do believe that my run with interstellar in imax has come to an end.
#check out the stats: 4 shows in 7 days. two shows within less than 24 hours of each other#one show that made me drive three hours through the city I hate to get to the imax#tbf I didn’t know that it was coming to my town because the original weekend it was not here#so I had to make the drive. then! I found out my local imax was going to show it so I went three more times lol#truthfully I feel good about it. I could go again tomorrow night at 10pm but I think while I was watching it today#idk something just came over me and I thought ya know what? this is it. this is my last time seeing it in imax#I came to peace with it and im okay with it. it was beautiful to witness. it really helped when i had contacts in instead of glasses#I think we worked through a lot of feelings while watching these four shows. I think we learned a lot about myself too#definitely found some answers we were looking for. definitely opened up some other wounds too but that’s okay#I got to enjoy movies again and really be immersed in cinema so that was a great experience#plus all of this with a movie I already loved so now! it’s boosted my life exponentially#idk how to make an interstellar url which is why we went with rust but like. dammit I owe you my life interstellar#god what a beautiful film. I’ve seen so many bad takes about it too and it’s not like im blinded by my love for it#that I think the takes are bad. no it’s genuinely shit like ‘oh what do you mean they couldn’t figure out how to grow more than just corn?’#like homie you obviously were not paying attention! the earth is dying! (real) and corn is quite literally the only thing left!!!#they have to leave if humanity is going to survive!!!!#anyway. like I said. beautiful film really enjoyed this past week of getting to see AND experience it.#watching it on blu ray now will never be the same#thank you everyone who followed along on this journey and thank you mr McConaughey for giving me your accent for the week#okay last two things: a) im gonna go back and tag all my stuff so I can look back on this time with joy and whimsy#second: here’s my definitive ranking of my viewings of the movie:#first had to be the first time i saw it. nothing is topping that absolutely nothing. experiencing that for the first time and road tripping?#like come on that’s dedication to the art right there. second would be today. feeling at peace knowing it was going to be my last show#and really getting to soak it all in. absolutely. plus I had contacts in so I could see everything lol.#third was yesterday bc yeah I finally got to see everything (again. finally had contacts in) but the audience did make it a little tough#usually im game for a big movie with an audience but there were too many distractions really pulling me out of the experience#last was probably Friday. even though I was jazzed to see it again bc that was the first show in my town there was a kid vaping two seats#away from me and that gave me a headache. plus I had glasses on so again. can’t see part of it bc the frames of said glasses.#thank you to everyone who followed along on this journey! apparently there is a 30 tag limit so last tag:#shelby watches interstellar
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#tag talk#had another great interaction today at work.#a customer called in and was like “I. have. a. brain. injury. so. I. speak. really. slowly. and. I. need. you. to. speak. slowly. as. well.”#so anyway we had a nice and slow conversation about what she needed and she went off on tangents about her story and injury#and about how it had affected her life and how her family was really shitty about the disability and super invalidating about it#and anyway it brightened my day cause the kind of disability empathy I've learned on here came into play even just in our conversation#idk. I love making connections with people and I love communication and the empathy links that we naturally form between people#ultimately it was a net zero in terms of her actual issue and she was planning on coming in person anyway#but I'm glad I got to have that interaction and get to know her even just a little bit.#not giving too much information because even though I'm not in healthcare rn hipaa is still wired into my brain#and part of maintaining and respecting dignity is not sharing someone else's information#but it was a joy to talk to her and she seemed to really appreciate it as well.#rip the rest of my department cause we got a line right as I hopped on the phone and it was a half hour conversation so they got slammed#but I had a good time at least.#it reminds me that I really want to get back into healthcare because that's the kind of thing that really makes me happy.#taking care of people and being there when they need to talk and be heard.#I also had a phone call where my dept. supervisor didn't handle it well and she ended up crying and needing to go take a break#and the customer called in again and I got her and like. idk what it is but I just disarm angry customers really easily.#so she was very aggressive at first but ended up being very pleasant with me by the end.#idk what it is but a coworker even mentioned it because we were talking about getting bad customers#and I was like what are you guys talking about all my customers are really nice even the grumpy ones are nice to me#and she was like “I don't know what it is but mean customers turn nice when you deal with them”#and that's just so validating. having someone else comment on my ability to communicate to even angry people.#my ability to bring someone else over to my way of thinking. the ability to go over to someone else's way of thought and then work with them#conflict resolution is collaborative. it's not just a battle of wills. it's about explanation and compromise and bending not breaking#I love people. they're beautiful and stupid and charming and everyone has their own divine spark.#idk. I'm a hopeless optimist even when I'm depressed and angry I can't help but love people.#anyway. thanks for being the void I yell into.
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People always speak well of me even in rooms i’m not in & every negative work said about me just makes the speaker look 10x as bad.
———-
Everyone who meets or knows me adores me & is charmed by me so much they’re a little in love with me.
~~~~~~~~
Everyone who fumbled me as both friend & love interest regrets it every day & misses me every day & feels their life is worse without me in it. with no harm to me, so mote it be.
11:11 ☆MiracleMakeAWishComeTrueSpell🌙
Eleven-Eleven, This is a call to all angels in heaven, give me a miracle and make my wish come true!
🌜☄⭐🕤🕙🕦⭐🕯🕯📰🎁🎆🎈🎉🎖🔜🔝🔔🕯💰📰💳📧📭🔥🗝🔮🛡🌟☄🌛🌞🌈
Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast spell
#i always have people to do all the things i want to do and they invite me#everything always works out for me exactly how i wanted or better#every day i get healthier & wealthier & happier & luckier because i flourish & grow in abundance&love&success&wellness with my every breath#i am a master manifestor and a magnet to all good things bc my life is better than a rom com#i am a magnet to successful opportunities and loving relationships#i can have a bm in 45 minutes bc my digestive system is back to how i was when i was 11#i am a successful women’s lifestyle journalist and have the job of my dreams#i have such an amazing life i frequently make stas overwhelmingly jealous#my life is as great as allie’s or better & i get 10x as many opportunities as she’s had to get & have & experience everything i want or mor#all of my wishes come true and the universe/powers that be grant me all that i ask for or better & as ive willed it so it is & so im gratef#i have friends who do cute aesthetic parties & trips with me always included just like juliette d & her friends do#i buy whatever i want because money for fun things comes to me easily in abundance#i am a successful womens magazine writer at conde nast or hearst or meredith magazines#i have a soul tribe and am surrounded by lifelong friends who adore me and really get me#I am a powerful witch whose spells & potions always work even better than intended & can manifest instantly&cast spells just w my thoughts#i have new friends who do cute aesthetic parties & trips with me & i’m always included just like juliette d & her friends do#i have that magic it quality&am as charming&magnetic&beloved as stas is 2 every1 who meets or knows me so everyone wants 2 be around me 24/#everyone who hurt me regrets how they treated me and misses me & feels the pain they caused me 10fold with no harm to me#i’m a beauty and fashion journalist by my 30th bday#every day i lose weight from fat and am achieving my ideal body of a tiny waist and hourglass figure and toned arms#my hair is healthy&shiny& does not shed excessively &grows quickly & gets lighter in color every day so its back to strawberry blonde#vic & stas miss me every day & wish they were still friends with me#i have new people and more experiences in my life that excite me and treat me wonderfully#i have a life filled with joy and magical realism & love & success & happiness & good health & fun & abundance & friendship & fulfillment#i am friends with jd & sm & rl & cmcd so i am a welcome & essential part of their friend group & included in all their activities#i am charismatic everyones drawn to me#i am in my reality of highest joy where everything always works out for me or better than i could imagine or ask for#i have a group of close female friends who make a big deal out of my birthday by my 30th bday#my intuition is very strong & gives me clear signs so i trust my own psychicness#kelly misses me & wants us to be bffs again & is a better friend to me constantly than i could ever hope for
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Just took a gift to a friend and not only did he seem to really like it he ALSO followed the brand’s instagram I WIN
#ramblings#my only true joy in life is giving ppl gifts that they truly enjoy#because I think it’s a big thing like ‘hey deep down I know you well!!! I know I’m not great at showing friendship all the time!#but I put time and effort into the thought of what this gift should be!!!!’#every gift I give is one that I have put thought into#even if it’s little#I swear!#the funny thing is I don’t love getting gifts that much because I buy what I want LOL#(but I will admit I have gotten some absolutely lovely gifts)#like I have a Jackie Daytona magnet that makes me giggle with glee every time I see it#and I have a little painting by a two year old (I think she was two?) of my cat that makes me smile#I think deep down it comes from the fact that I had to be SUPER critical with gifts for my sister and mom because those mofos are so picky#and some friends who bought me some fantastic shiny rocks! (dice) and D20 stuff ahhhh#(I have some friends who have gotten me some VERY KIND GIFTS and I feel bad because I never know what to get them#they got a lovely crockpot for their wedding but that was four years ago Jfc#like this is a crazy person thing but I have not given gifts because I didn’t think they were good enough for the friend#a thing I keep jewlery in was originally going to be for a friend but I didn’t think it was good enough so I just used it myself#I truly know that’s insane but I don’t want to give bad gifts#anyways. many thoughts. I buy things because I like to buy things for friends
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I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore
#I really want to quit the event for trans day of visibility#I just don't see what I can give to the conversation#and I haven't for a while now#there is already a person that does all the posters#when I did the budget it was all wrong#half the ideas I've come up with has been having big holes#and honestly I don't think that comfortable in the group#I feel like I am back at school or university being put in a group for a project that I cannot pull out of because it will affect my grade#or the rest of the group's performance#but there's no grades#there is a performance of sort being the event#and that could still be great#but I don't feel like I have the spoons or the experience for this#I am just smiling (barely) and nodding along#yet a part of me are also scared of dropping out now#there is not a lot of time left#and so it wouldn't be fair on the other people to ditch this last minute#but would it be more fair to let me just tag along not doing anything of value?#and I should probably decide soon since we are getting closer#it is this big dark cloud over my thought rn#I am trying to concentrate on my drawing challenge yet I don't have any joy in it#because all my thoughts go to this event#I don't know what to do#I really don't want to do this#but I did say yes#and I hate tapping out and be seen as untrustworthy as well#micahs thoughts
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