#the sword couch saga continues

[elves-as-things-my-friends-said]

Curufin: pleased to announce that I have finally oiled all of my swords and they are no longer on the couch.

Celebrimbor: awesome! So we can sit on it n-

Celebrimbor: ...

Celebrimbor: is there anything else on the couch?

Curufin: ...

Curufin: wAIT -

Celebrimbor: such as the three knives, the extra scabbard, and the axe?

Curufin: look -

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

So, I LOVE Epic: This Musical and I'm excited for some of the songs in the Circe Saga, but one of TWO songs that I absolutely DESPISE in this musical is coming out and I'm so stressed out about it.

"There Are Other Ways" and "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" make me so frustrated because it looks like they fall into downplaying the coercion and abuse Odysseus went through because the abusers are women. AND I HATE THAT.

"There Are Other Ways" is a song between a person who has power to force a person into doing what they want (Circe) and their victim (Odysseus), who can only comply. And from what I've read it has the line "There's no puppet here."

It's really clever writing because if you know the story, you know Odysseus is in a precarious situation and he was told by Hermes that when she asked to sleep with him, he needed to do it. Here's three different translations of the moment Hermes tells him "Don't you tell her no" with the warning from Hermes bolded:

"'And I will tell thee all the baneful wiles of Circe. She will mix thee a potion, and cast drugs into the food; but even so she shall not be able to bewitch thee, for the potent herb that I shall give thee will not suffer it. And I will tell thee all. When Circe shall smite thee with her long wand, then do thou draw thy sharp sword from beside thy thigh, and rush upon Circe, as though thou wouldst slay her. And she will be seized with fear, and will bid thee lie with her. Then do not thou thereafter refuse the couch of the goddess, that she may set free thy comrades, and give entertainment to thee. But bid her swear a great oath by the blessed gods, that she will not plot against thee any fresh mischief to thy hurt, lest when she has thee stripped she may render thee a weakling and unmanned.’

“ ‘And I will tell you of all the wicked witchcraft that Circe will try to practice upon you. She will mix a potion for you to drink, and she will drug the meal with which she makes it, but she will not be able to charm you, for the virtue of the herb that I shall give you will prevent her spells from working. I will tell you all about it. When Circe strikes you with her wand, draw your sword and spring upon her as though you were going to kill her. She will then be frightened, and will desire you to go to bed with her; on this you must not directly refuse her, for you want her to set your companions free, and to take good care also of yourself, but you must make her swear solemnly by all the blessed gods that she will plot no further mischief against you, or else when she has got you naked she will unman you and make you fit for nothing.’

"I will tell you all Circe’s fatal wiles. She will mix a drink for you, blending drugs with the food, but even so she will fail to enchant you: the powerful herb I will give you will prevent it. Let me tell you the rest. When Circe strikes you with her length of wand, draw your sharp sword and rush at her, as if you intend to kill her. She will be seized with fear. Then she’ll invite you to her bed, and don’t refuse the goddess’ favours, if you want her to free your men, and care for you too. But make her swear a solemn oath by the blessed gods that she won’t try to harm you with her mischief, lest when you are naked she robs you of courage and manhood.”’

He had no choice in the matter. It was a "you will have to sacrifice yourself OR you will never get your men back and you won't be safe if you don't do it" moment. While Circe's not telling this directly to Odysseus, it's still COERCION because he knows if he says "No, I want to be faithful to my wife" Circe will harm him. But a lot of people don't know that and are going to continue to perpetuate the idea that Odysseus cheated on his wife. 😒 And they're going to use that line of "There's no puppets here" as "proof" that Odysseus cheated.

If you can sympathize with Ovid's later adaptation of Medusa as a victim of Poseidon, but refuse to acknowledge Odysseus was as much a victim of Circe AND Calypso and claim he's cheating... Please, ask yourself: why is that?

[dwollsadventures]

Magnus Chase Project Idea

The next thing for my list of projects is something a little closer to home and achievable, but also perhaps less anticipated. 

Percy Jackson was the first series of novels that I ever read of my own volition. It instilled a love of reading and appreciation of mythology that continues to this very day. When I heard that Riordan was going to be writing a series based on Norse mythology in 2014, I was ecstatic. Unlike before, I had a basis of knowledge to draw from to prepare for the books. When the books were released and I read them though, I felt a little disappointed. I actually have a large document that I wrote back in 2017 detailing all of my criticisms, but I’ll summarize them here: 

Magnus Chase as the protagonist goes through a very well defined and meaningful character arc in the first book. It’s probably one of the only things that make him stand out from Percy Jackson, who he can sometimes read as a carbon copy of. In the subsequent two books, however, he loses everything that made him special. His identity as a peacemaker and healer, and his choice to not use Jack the sword as a weapon are all forgotten about. 

Rick Riordan’s passion for Greek and Roman history oozes out of everything he wrote for his previous books. And while he did make an attempt, the mythology presented in Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard is one of its greatest flaws. The gods of the stories are shallow, one-joke cut-outs compared to the complex parents and power players in PJO. Heimdall is the worst example. Rather than echoing themes and remixing myths, oftentimes the characters play out recreations of Norse myths word for word during the course of the story. Norse mythology has a lot of large gaps in its content, meaning that an author will almost certainly have to bridge them with their own creations at some point. Riordan chooses to do this by mixing in modern culture and folklore from the 1800’s of Scandinavia. 

This book was not the first to feature cross-overs from other Riordan books, but it is the one that leaned the most heavily on them. Annabeth’s inclusion in the first book was appropriate, but it seemed like pandering to include Percy in the last one. When reading reviews to refresh myself for writing this, a good percentage of them cried out about their insufficient screen time. 

Slavery. The mythology point above makes me the most peeved, but this one baffled me as I read the books. One of the first einherjar characters introduced is Hunding, from the Volsung Saga. In the Saga, another of the characters, Helgi, kills Hunding, and his reward for the victory is that Hunding becomes his slave in Valhalla, commanded to “of every hero / Wash the feet, | and kindle the fire, / Tie up dogs, | and tend the horses, / And feed the swine | ere to sleep thou goest”. This is present in the books, but couched in PG13 language, so that Hunding is Helgi’s “servant”. One of the main cast of characters is Thomas Jefferson (TJ) Jr., a runaway slave that died fighting in the Civil war. In the third book, one of the other main characters replays a scene from mythology where she gets a bunch of jotunn slaves to accidentally kill each other. This character then apologizes to TJ for killing the slaves and they make up off-screen. Hunding is never rescued from eternal slavery, the existence of slavery in Valhalla is never acknowledged, the end. 

So what? Why did I list all of my gripes with the series and put it under the future projects title? Well, after I wrote my laundry list in 2017, I capped it off with a “what I would do” section. I’ve never been able to get into the realm of fan fiction. But what about fan rewrites? Rewriting the book chapter by chapter with my own changes? 

The reason I haven’t done this is because, again, I don’t have a foot in the fan fiction world, and for most of my time I’ve thought that spending so much time and effort working on something like that would be a waste of my time when I could be working on my own stuff. But recently I’ve been rethinking that. Finding the motivation to work on my own Acronym Pending series is conflicting with my anxiety about perfecting it so that I don’t tear it down a month afterwards. What if working on fan fiction doesn’t trigger this response? After all, the hard work’s already been done. If I end up doing this, it will be because I can’t bring myself to work on the TDG, which is bad, but it would mean something is still getting done, even if it’s something I cannot claim as 100% my own. 

What would I do differently? Here’s a few examples:

Magnus is not a demigod. Demigods are not a big thing in Norse sagas or myths, and it links the series too much to the previous ones. 

Samirah would not be a valkyrie, but another of the einherjar. 

Valhalla and the Norse elements would not be modernized, at all. 

Hearthstone’s father would be Volundr. 

Overall, the story would be closer to a runaway tale rather than a hero’s journey. The overarching mythological theme would be focused on breaking the cycle. 

[sagasofazeria]

Inspired by the phrase “a dancing cactus”, another fun little short story!

miscellaneous taglist (ask to be added/removed): @talesfromaurea @thelaughingstag

content warnings: death mention, alcohol, trauma mention

Kedra had never been one for parties, and he wasn’t keen on starting now.

“That’s just because you haven’t been to any good ones, love,” Huraz said in a sing-song voice, leaning on the counter.

Kedra glared at his friend from his position on the couch. “You know I don’t like parties. What’s even the point?”

“The point,” Huraz said with an eyeroll, “is to have fun. Besides, it’ll only be our other friends, it’s more like a glorified hangout. I’m really trying to make this as Kedra-friendly as possible.”

Kedra only huffed in response, looking away. “I’m a warrior, Huraz, not a child to be coddled.”

Huraz pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow.

When Kedra heard no vocal response, he sighed. “I know what face you’re making, and you can stop now,” he said.

“Listen, all I’m saying is it might be good for you. You know I love you man, and you don’t have to go if you don’t want to--”

“Don’t try to reverse-psychology me.”

“I’m not, I swear! This is genuine.”

Kedra groaned. “Ugh, fine, continue.”

“I’m not trying to coerce you into anything, you prickly bastard. I just want to see you relax a bit, Huraz said as he sat next to his friend.

Kedra looked over at him, letting go of a deep sigh. “Huraz. How am I supposed to relax? You know what I’ve been through. The whole world could fall down on us at any moment and you want me to relax? I’ve seen people far stronger than me be taken from us in mere seconds.”

Huraz placed a hand on Kedra’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t get lost down there. I know how much they meant to you, I do. But the world won’t fall down, not while there’s still heroes out there. You’ve done your part, you can let the sword fall. Someone will pick it up again, I promise.”

Kedra went silent, his fist opening and closing with a mind of its own.

Huraz slipped his hand into Kedra’s before he could close it again, and the warrior shivered, as if shaken out of a trance.

“Today isn’t about the past, okay? Today is for you,” Huraz softly reminded him.

Slowly, Kedra nodded. “Alright, I’ll go. They… they wouldn’t want me to wallow like this anyway. But you are NOT—“ Kedra gave Huraz a stern look, “—getting me to dance.”

“Hey, I’m just glad you’re coming,” Huraz said, hugging him. “Shall we?”

•••

When they reached their rooftop pavilion hangout on the edge of the town, they were greeted by cheers and smiles from their other friends. There were only about ten people there, and Kedra let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He hadn’t really doubted Huraz, but he was even more reassured seeing that it wasn’t one of the usual sort of parties Huraz had, the ones that usually ended with Kedra carrying his friend home through a massive crowd because he was too loopy to walk ten feet.

Huraz instantly took to the celebration, greeting their friends with an exuberant smile, patting Kedra’s forearm before he whirled off. Kedra waved to everyone tentatively, grabbing a drink and finding somewhere to sit and wait it out.

His other friends came over to share drinks with him occasionally or share a joke or two. Kedra found himself actually enjoying it, as much as he would never admit it.

His friends had missed him, and he was glad to be talking to them despite his aversion to gatherings like this. As they all got a little deeper into their cups, the celebration got a little louder, until Kedra was watching as his other friends shepherded Huraz onto a table, chanting for him to sing.

“Sing! Sing! Sing!”

Huraz laughed, handing off his cup. “Alright, alright! Hold on, gotta pick somethin’ good…”

The pavilion suddenly went silent with anticipation.

A few seconds passed, then Huraz nodded, took a deep breath, and began to sing.

He sang an old Dwarvish saga, the tale of a warrior and a heart found and lost. Huraz’s usually cheery voice took on a low, somber rumble, and the sound of his voice echoed off of the surrounding cliffs like the thunder of a stampede. He locked eyes with Kedra as he sang, a tenderness dancing in his eyes.

Kedra kept his gaze for a moment, and then the song changed.

Suddenly, Huraz leaped off of the table, spinning around the pavilion, launching with seamless ease into a drinking tune that told of reunion and healing, calling out for everyone to join him as he leapt around the pavilion to the encouragement of the others.

As always, it was beautiful, and Kedra found himself smiling as he watched his friend stir with joy, even if he was being more than a little obvious.

Kedra chuckled to himself. Leave it to Huraz to lack any subtlety at all. He rolled his eyes, but cheered anyway, raising his drink as Huraz danced past him.

When the song had finished and the final note was fading into the wind, Huraz took a bow, and their friends cheered.

“Thank you, thank you, I do accept tips,” he said with a grin.

A coin flew out of the group somewhere and hit him in the back of the head.

“Ow, hey! You could’ve just said something,” he mock-complained, to a response of bellowing laughter.

He shook his head with a smile and pushed his way out of the crowd, heading to the edge of the pavilion with his reclaimed cup.

Actually, that’s not a bad idea, Kedra thought as he stood up to follow. It was getting kind of loud in the pavilion, and he was done with his drink anyway.

Huraz was sitting on the edge of the roof, dangling his feet over the edge and humming. As Kedra got closer, Huraz patted the roof beside him.

“Saw you looked a little tired in there. Figured I’d give you an excuse to get some air.”

Kedra chuckled softly as he sat down. “You know me too well. Thanks, though.”

“No problem. Are you at least enjoying yourself?”

“I--”

“Don’t lie,” Huraz said, narrowing his eyes.

“Let me finish, damn,” Kedra retorted. “I was gonna say that you were right. It isn’t half bad.”

Huraz gasped in false surprise. “Oh, Kedra! Surely not! Say it again so I may be sure!” he said in a dramatic voice as he clutched his chest.

Kedra gave him a dead stare. “No.”

“Fine,” Huraz sighed, sticking his tongue out at him. “Glad you’re having fun, though.”

“Me too.”

They sat in silence for a couple minutes, staring up at the pastel sunset sky.

Kedra thought for a long time about it. Should he even..? He sighed internally. There was no reason not to other than pride, and if he overthought it any longer he’d never do it at all. So he took the leap.

“Huraz?”

“Yeah?”

Kedra took a deep breath. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I won’t,” Huraz promised, pushing down an instinctual smile.

“Can you teach me how to dance?”

There was a short pause, before Huraz placed a gentle hand on Kedra’s shoulder.

“Of course. Come on,” he said, offering his hand.

They stood on the roof, Huraz leading Kedra along, and they began to dance a slow version of Huraz’s earlier jaunty routine. It was awkward at first, but Kedra wouldn’t let dancing be the obstacle that made him quit something in his life.

“Hey, you aren’t half bad,” Huraz said as Kedra started finding the rhythm.

Kedra only smiled, too focused for words.

They kept dancing, swaying and spinning to music only they could hear, and suddenly the rocky exterior Kedra had put up since his return started to crack, and the crystal beneath peeked through.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Top Hat Job

leverage 2.06

hardison bored with a tennis ball on his forehead rb if u agree

- - - - -

Hardison: Her name is Katie. Likes wild horses. Dislikes vanilla toothpaste.

Eliot: Please stop talking. (to Katie) Hey.

~ a few moments later ~

Eliot (to comm): Oh, I'm so in.

Hardison: Hey, uh, Eliot, what is that blocking your button cam? Oh, yeah, it's your ego

hardison lowkey always thinks it’s obnoxious when eliot flirts like that with people. (you love him, sweetie, you just don’t really know it yet)

- - - - -

Eliot: Hardison, we got a problem.

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: What kind of problem?

[Security Station]

Eliot: They're MRI'ing my pizza, and their stance says "ex-CIA."

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: You can tell somebody work for the CIA just from how they stand?

[Security Station]

Eliot: It's a very distinctive stance

- - - - -

Eliot: Hey, big boy. What are you, 240, 250?

(the guard swings at him and Eliot punches the guy in the crotch. The guy goes down)

ICONIC

- - - - -

Man: You know when I said you had pretty hair? I was lying.

Parker: Yeah, well, so was I when I said you didn't. Wait. Damn it!

(Parker kicks the man back and backflips off the railing. The man looks over the edge, but doesn’t see her. Parker is hanging onto steel girders under the side walk)

Man: What

SHUT UP MAN SHES GORGEOUS + lmfao parker you tried

ALSO GUYS parker flipping off the railing of the pier and “disappearing”? she’s a badass and I love her

- - - - -

Nate: So, pizza-Delivery guy was your big plan?

Hardison: You know what, man? It was recon. Okay? Information gathering has historically been a very safe and peaceful business. A-and it was a food company! It wasn't like they was making weapons.

Nate: Listen, I-I've worked insurance for companies like this. Anyone gets their hands on the company's food patents, it could cost them billions. And, by the way, they guard that stuff better than defense contractors

- - - - -

Parker (touches Eliot’s elbow): Does that hurt?

Eliot: Yeah

...

Eliot: No, I lived. All right? You sat behind (Parker pokes his elbow) a computer and acted like Kool Moe Dee.

...

Parker: Does that hurt?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: How about now? (pokes his elbow)

...

Eliot: Stop.

(Parker gets up to move away, then leans back to poke his elbow again)

Nate: Eliot. Guys. Eliot. What are you doing?

Eliot: She was poking me.

(Nate moves to look at Eliot’s elbow, trying to poke it)

Nate: Don't, man, hey!

and the parker poking eliot’s wounds saga continues

we love a chaotic ot3 scene

- - - - -

Hardison: Lillian Foods is the third-largest food company in the world. Last year, made $12 billion. This is the vice president of the frozen-Foods division, Erik Casten. Erik with a "k," Casten with a "c."

Nate: How is that relevant?

Parker: Oh. Eric with a "c" - nice and friendly, Erik with a "k" - Evil.

Sophie: I didn't know that.

Parker: Everybody knows that

ALSO

LETS TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE PARKER AND HARDISON SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON THE COUCH AND ELIOT SITTING RIGHT BEHIND AND BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM

WE LOVE TO SEE THE OT3 FRAMED TOGETHER

- - - - -

Hardison: According to Dr. Jameson, Erik with a "k" is trying to cover up salmonella found in the frozen dinners so his division doesn't have to pay out for that recall.

Eliot: That's why I grow my own food.

Sophie: How do you find the time?

Eliot: You make time. I only sleep 90 minutes a day.

- - - - -

Nate: All right, so what we have to do is we have to get a hold of Casten's report and make it public. It's on the servers. How do we get into the building?

Hardison: I'm so far ahead of you, man, it's scary.

[Flashback]

(a package is being delivered to the receptionist)

Hardison: Look, I can't hack their system from the outside, so I sent a Trojan phone. It's hacker 101.

(the package is delivered through inner office mail to a mail slot)

Hardison: What I did was messenger a Smartphone with an extended battery to an employee that's on vacation. Package sits in the mail room, it scans for wireless and Bluetooth access points.

[Leverage HQ]

Hardison: Unfortunately, even their internal servers are locked down like the CIA, so all I was able to get was employee e-Mails

- - - - -

Sophie: Well, anything useful there?

Hardison: Oh, yeah. You know what? Marie from Payroll has a crush on Steve from Accounts Receivable. (hits remote to show pics on screen) Look, that's Steve right there on his vacation in Florida from a month ago.

Parker: She likes him? Really?

Hardison: Oh, yeah. That man is a sexy man-beast right there.

I know he’s joking but I will take bi hardison to my grave

- - - - -

Parker: Ugh. I'm so glad I don't live in the real world.

eliot next to her: ...?

- - - - -

Hardison: Go ahead. Put your hand up.

Parker: I don't want to do it.

Hardison: Woman.

Parker: I really don't want to go. Don't make me go.

Hardison: Girl! Take one for the team.

Parker: Okay! Me! Me! Me! Me! Pick me!

Chronos: You. Come on up here.

(Hardison and Parker stand. Hardison shows Parker something on his phone)

Hardison: The box is an SASJ-6412. This is how it works, all right?

(Hardison nudges Parker up on the stage. Chronos looks her up and down)

Chronos: Well... What's your name?

Parker: Kara!

Hardison: Yeah, Kara! Love you! Love you!

Chronos: Silence!

Parker: Love you, too. Sorry.

Chronos: Well, Kara, are you ready to step into the box... of mystery?

(assistant gestures to the box)

Parker: Uh. I don't know.

Chronos: I assure you, it's perfectly safe.

Hardison: I love you. (to another man) That's my girl. That's my baby. Sexy. She been doing Pilates.

Chronos: Give Kara a round of applause.

(Parker gets into the box and Chronos closes her in)

Hardison: Sexy stuff! Go ahead, girl. Do what you do.

(Chronos takes out several swords. He hands one to his assistant and pushes the other into the box)

Parker: Ow! Hey! Ow!!

(Parker grabs the sword and pulls)

Hardison: Oh!

Parker: Let go!

(Chronos tries to pull the sword out but it won’t move)

Chronos: She, she's perfectly all right.

Parker: Let go! Ow!

(the sword breaks and Chronos is left fumbling)

Hardison: Hey, Kara! Damn all that "she's all right." (Hardison comes up on stage) Baby?

(Hardison pounds on the box. Parker begins crying. The assistant tries to look into the box through the holes on the side)

Hardison: Um, baby? Baby? Man, if you don't –

(Chronos picks up another sword just as Hardison gets the doors open)

Parker: Just kidding.

Hardison: Ha! Isn't she great? Isn't -- come on.

(the audience gives applause)

Hardison: Snoodles. (they rub noses) Oh. Love you. (moves away from the box) And thank you and you and you and you-

also, hardison reassuring parker that she will be okay? I’m soft

...

(Chronos pulls out a set of rings)

Chronos: Interlocking rings.

Hardison: Hey, man, you, you forgot one over here. Just...

(Hardison takes a ring and hooks it onto the two Chronos is holding. The audience cheers)

Hardison: Thank you! That's dope, man. I like that.

Chronos: Get off my stage!

(Chronos pulls the rings away from Hardison

Hardison: Oh, look, y'all, this –

(Hardison takes one of the swords and pretends to ram it into his stomach)

Hardison: It, it ain't real. That ain't even all that, man. That's –

(Chronos grabs Hardison)

Hardison: Get -- get off –

(Chronos punches Hardison)

Parker: Oh, my god! Baby, I'm here!

(Chronos runs off stage while Hardison holds his eye)

Parker: I'm, like, totally here for you right now! Somebody get on your cell phone!

Hardison: I love you!

Parker: Get a dentist! You.

Hardison: I love you

also CHAOTIC PARDISON

- - - - -

Sophie: It's a good job you're not claustrophobic, Eliot.

Eliot: I was when I was a kid. (to Nate) Take this damn thing.

Nate: Oh, all right.

Parker: Really? How'd you get over it?

Nate: Here, Parker. (hands her the hat and rabbit)

Eliot: I locked myself in a woodshed behind my house for a couple nights. After that, I was fine.

(Parker hands the hat and rabbit to Hardison)

Parker: That is so funny. I was scared of the dark and did exactly the same thing.

[Flashback]

(a young Parker lays in a trunk that is sitting in a hole)

Girl: You ready?

(Parker pulls the trunk closed and several children fill in the hole)

[Auditorium]

Eliot: That's not the same thing. What's wrong with you?

P A R K E R WHY + their differences in childhoods tho

- - - - -

they keep on handing off the bunny until hardison loses it in the hat

+

Eliot: Damn it, Hardison!

- - - - -

Sophie: So, massively, there will be no magic show.

Nate: Oh, no, there might be a magic show. No, absolutely. We might want to treat these people to the illusionist extraordinaire, right

eliot laughing and nodding at him in the background

- - - - -

Hardison: See, Sophie’s Smartphone is picking up the RFID signal from the big boss's I.D. All she had to do was cozy up next to him and...

Parker: You picked his pockets without actually stealing anything? Cool.

Hardison: It's what I do. A man. A phone. No limits.

(security guards walk by as the doors close)

Eliot: How about "a man. A phone. No action"?

(Parker laughs and hands Eliot a bag)

Eliot: Come on, man, you left that out there like a hanging curveball.

the ot3 being idiots I love it

+ eliot hoisting parker up and out of the elevator, domestic thievery hijinks

- - - - -

Casten: So, with that, and the open bar, in mind, I'd just like to say thanks, everybody. And let's give a warm welcome to (checks notes) Harry turner, illusionist extraordinaire!

Sophie: That’s you. You’re on.

Nate: Parker, I need my assistant now!

Sophie: Yeah. Yeah, speaking of that, how come Parker gets to be the assistant?

[Elevator]

Hardison: How come Nate gets to be the magician? I do card tricks, too. I do great card tricks.

[Auditorium]

Nate: Can we talk about this later?

Sophie: Yeah, exactly. That's what I was just saying!

[Elevator]

Eliot: Does anybody want to do my job? Huh? I get punched and kicked.

[Auditorium]

Sophie: I just think that if it was me, we'd be better off –

poor eliot lmfao

- - - - -

parker falling and having the time of her life + eliot clipping the rope to hardison’s belt + hardison flying to the top of the elevator because of the rope pulling him + him falling on his face when parker unclips = chaotic ot3

- - - - -

Hardison: All the employee phones in this building are hooked up to the internal Wi-Fi. You remember the Trojan phone? It works both ways. See, I can use the server to access his phone. And once I'm in, I can see through his phone's camera.

Eliot: You can do that?

Hardison: Oh, you'd be surprised at what I can do. (changes display on phone)

BLATANT FLIRTING OH MY G O D

- - - - -

eliot and hardison curled up together under the desk to hide from the guards? cute

- - - - -

Hardison: It's not optical. They're using active capacitance. See, what happens is, it measures the change in voltage across the micro ridges of the --

Eliot: Can you get in or not?

Hardison: You... (reaches in his bag and pulls out a gummy frog)

Eliot: Gummy frogs?

Hardison: Gummy frogs have the same resistance as human skin, about 20 milliohms. (runs frog along the reader) What'd I say? That's a low-Tech hack right there

ELIOT’S PROUD SMILE

also does hardison always carry that fingerprint printer around ???

- - - - -

Sophie (to Parker, flourishing her arms): See, you're supposed to do it like this.

Parker: Next time, you jump down the elevator shaft.

Sophie: Oh, stop it. Everybody knows you love that.

- - - - -

(Hardison’s computer shows the junction room doors being locked)

Hardison: Uh-oh. (gets up and heads for the door)

[Elevator]

Eliot: "Uh-oh"? What do you mean, "uh-oh"?

Price: This isn't funny any longer!

(elevator door opens)

Guard: Step out of the elevator.

Eliot: Oh, that "uh-oh." (crosses his arms)

that’s like the second time he’s said that in the past couple episodes

- - - - -

on today’s edition of non-weapon-things-eliot-uses-as-weapons, he uses the mystery box that the CEO is in to help beat up one of the guards

- - - - -

(Hardison is demonstrating card tricks to Parker)

Hardison: And your queen should be... (holds up a seven of clubs) this right here.

(Parker holds up her queen)

Parker: Stole it.

Hardison: Y-you can't do that

- - - - -

Eliot: I'm finishing off the kung pao.

DOMESTIC

+ eliot’s wearing hair charms/braids again 🥰

[mortal-mun-dee]

Tales from the (Black) Dragon’s Den - Ch. 4

Hey folks! Here’s the next chapter for the Bartender!Reader Saga! Sorry if it isn’t good like previous chapters, still feeling like shit. >_> 

I might also try working on other sagas, since I am running out of ideas for the bartender!reader lol. If someone wants to suggest scenarios or something, go ahead and send an ask or dm!

--------------------------------------------

Tales from the (Black) Dragon’s Den - Ch. 4: Turntables Third Day (Bartender!Reader x Black Dragon Boyz pt. 4)

--------------------------------------------------------------

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

The alarm clock went off yet wouldn’t shut up. At least that’s what it felt like for (Y/N). The bartender groaned and tried to slap their clock’s snooze button. Once the time device got silenced, the bartender got up and ready for another day with the Black Dragon. Although, (Y/N) isn’t feeling like their usual self. Even if they were sick, they need money really badly. Rent is due in a week or two yet their bank is dryer than Outworld’s taste in leaders. (Y/N) checked their texts to see how everyone was doing at work. Looks like it’ll be a normal day; Kano and the others made sure to take the bartender’s advice and recover. (Y/N) smiled, then double-checked their own inventory. Keys and everything else is there; we’re good to go. 

Once the bartender got themself freshened up, they were out and on their way. (Y/N) smiled as they reached the front door to the club, Erron was looking better than before. The cowboy tipped his hat at the bartender and opened the door for them. (Y/N) could see the main floor being busy as usual with club-goers and the occasional drunkard. Looks like things should be well, or whatever is considered well in this joint.

(Y/N)’s vision wasn’t as clear today and that caused the poor bartender to crash into the residential speedster.

“Shoot! Sorry Kabal!” (Y/N) told the man with haste. Kabal chuckled, and shrugged it off.

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/N)” Kabal replied to them, then raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, (Y/N). You sure you can work tonight? You’re looking a bit pale.” (Y/N) couldn’t help but quickly reply with an “I’m fine” to the worried enforcer. (Y/N) waves at Kabal, and gets to their bar/station. Looks like they will be busy for a while with all the drinkers. The bartender got to work, getting all sorts of drinks prepared and served. Tips were looking good, and the coworkers are doing great. A few hours into working and (Y/N) swore something was wrong. Was there always a constant buzzing around the bar? They checked for bugs or anything and got nothing. 

“Don’t let these inconveniences get to you, (Y/N).” The bartender muttered to themself. They were snapped out of their train of thought by a certain Aussie. 

“Oy, (Y/N). Thanks for all your help yesterday. The lads and Oi are feeling much better. Although, Oi’d feel even better with a drink” Kano smirked, and pointed towards one of the many vodka bottles. (Y/N) nodded, and grabbed Kano his poison. But wait, why was their hand empty all of a sudden. They didn’t notice the drink slipping from their hand, and breaking all over the dirty floor. Kano blinked and asked if (Y/N) was feeling alright. From what he witness of (Y/N)’s work, they’re an excellent bartender. (Y/N) brushed off Kano’s concerns and told him they’re fine.

Next thing (Y/N) knows, they feel like they’re flying… flying!?! Oh no, looks like (Y/N) was losing consciousness. The last thing they remembered was Kano reaching over for them…

….

“Ugh…. what the fuck happened…?” (Y/N) woke up, and noticed they were laying on their… no, someone’s couch? The last thing the bartender remembered was being at work… work! Shoot, did they sleep in again!?! Fuck, their head hurts though. (Y/N) wanted to get up, but had a coughing fit. There’s no way they could make it while feeling like shit. But wait, why the hell is Erron at their place? This is their apartment right…?

“Yer awake. Good thing Kano caught ya before you could fall into his booze” The cowboy hands the bartender what seems to be a glass of water and some cold medicine. Guess they made it to work and fainted there. (Y/N) couldn’t help but say thanks and drink the cool liquid. Erron nodded, then placed the back of his left hand against (Y/N)’s forehead. The bartender blushed and blinked but didn’t mind the cowboy taking care of them.

“Seems like yer burning” Erron reported to (Y/N). (Y/N) then laid down once more, figuring they should rest up. Erron then got ready to leave this room, it was still dirty but had a homey feeling. 

“Kabal is working on some soup with Kira and Kobra. Kano is coming in to watch ya” The cowboy told the bartender before exiting. (Y/N) nods, and continues to rest up in this dinky room. As the bartender looks around, they noticed pictures of Kano and the other Black Dragon members. Looks like they act like a family, well, a criminal organization family. Their thoughts were then interrupted by the smell of warmed broth and the sound of Kano swearing.

“Fuck, Oi told Kabal not to leave his hook swords on the floor.” Kano scolded the laying objects, a sight that was humorous for (Y/N). Kano then noticed (Y/N), and smiled while laying the bowl on the coffee table. 

“Glad to see you’re awake, thought Oi had to hoire a new bartender already!” Kano joked while setting up the meal for (Y/N). (Y/N) asked the burly man what happened, and was told that they were “knocked the fuck out” by the same sickness that got Kano and the crew. (Y/N) apologized, and told Kano that they should be fine now. This got the Aussie to shake his head, and reassure the bartender that they should rest up.

“Oi don’t want you barfing all over my customers, (Y/N). Take it easy, really.” Kano then finishes up with preparing (Y/N)’s meal and sits on another couch along with turning on a television. 

“Looks like this is the breakroom or something” (Y/N) thought to themself. Kano asked if the bartender was comfortable, and (Y/N) told him yes. Kano hums and relaxes in his seat. 

“You can thank Kabal, Kira, and Kobra for the soup by the way,” Kano told the bartender while watching what appears to be the news. (Y/N) nodded, and takes a spoonful. (Blowing on the spoon first of course) “Mmm, not bad,” thought the bartender. Looks like Kabal learned the recipe well. 

“It’s pretty late, you’ve been passed out for your whole shift, (Y/N)” Kano spoke up, which surprised the sick bartender. (Y/N) insists they should get going then, but Kano shook his head.

“You can stay for the noight, (Y/N). Better for you to rest up loike you told us” Kano then got up, and hands (Y/N) a pillow. (Y/N) blushed a little at the thoughtful gesture, and thanked Kano. Kano told the bartender “no worries” before searching for a blanket. Suddenly, (Y/N) was quickly covered by a plush blanket. The bartender smiled and noticed Kabal sitting in Kano’s spot.

“Don’t worry, I got (Y/N) covered, Bossman” The speedster points to (Y/N), which caused Kano to shrug and motion Kabal to scoot over. Kabal rolled his eyes, but made sure there was room for the Aussie. (Y/N) thought it was sweet that the guys were taking care of them like how a family would. Before they knew it, Erron came into the room and sat on the other couch with Kabal and Kano. Looks like the day is done for everyone.

“Feeling any better? (Y/N)?” The cowboy asked the tired bartender, who then replied with a “yep”. Erron hums and pays attention to the television with the guys. 

“I’m glad for these guys…” (Y/N) thought before resting up. Work can always wait with the Black Dragon.        

[sablesides-writing-corner]

Mociet au where they both raise Virgil and the twins?

Patton was, hyperactive, to say the least. This wasnt a bad trait to have in his family of course. His husband Ethan was the calm one, also not a bad trait to have. They had three sons, Virgil, Roman, and Remus.

Patton handled Roman and Remus most of the time, he could chase the two youngest children around the garden for hours at a time without once getting tired.

Ethan primarily took care of Virgil, despite being 14, Virgil was still to young to be able to do certain things on his own. Ethan sent out periodic texts reminding Virgil to take off his binder at some point when he got home. Ethan kept the fridge stocked, the fidget toys in mint condition, Ethan handled all the practical aspects of life, Patton handled the fun stuff.

"Dinner's ready kiddos! Come and get it!" Patton set a large plate of chicken on the table, along with a bowl of green beans, mashed potatoes, and pasta.

Virgil trudged out of his room and flopped into the seat closest to the window, he wasnt the type of kid you would expect to like sunlight, but it reduced his anxiety, so if you needed to find him, chances were he was in whatever part of the house had the most access to the sun.

Roman and Remus flooded in next, Roman brandishing a sword made out of used up paper towel rolls, Remus holding what looked to be. . . a dead rat.

"Remus, put that outside will you, you know the policy about dead animals in the house, you dont want to upset your brother," Ethan was the last to come down. He smiled at Patton, who was shielding Virgil's eyes from the sight of the dead rat. Remus groaned and stalked outside, tossing the rat over the edge of the balcony, which landed with a sickening splat on the concrete below.

"Now go wash your hands you two, I saw you picking worms out of the garden earlier," Patton said, letting go of Virgil and ruffling his hair.

Roman set down the make-shift paper towel sword and ran out of the room, Remus following suit.

Dinner, as usual, was an all but quiet event.

"Dad! Remus keeps putting his hands in my food!"

"Skin flakes make it taste better!"

"Maybe to you you weirdo!"

"At least I dont sleep with a stuffed bat!"

"HE IS THE SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS HOW DARE YOU,"

"ENOUGH." Ethan gently brought his fist down on the table, not hard enough to cause anything to shake, only loud enough to be heard.

"Now now kiddos, let's not fight, Remus, dont put your hands in your brother's food, Roman, stop chewing on your nails and finish your green beans, Virgil, roll up your hoodie sleeves before you get something on them," Patton said, a soft smile tracing his face.

"Ok papa," came a chorus of three voices as they did what was instructed of them.

Bed time was another ordeal entirely.

"Remus, dont touch the ceiling fan or I'm moving you to the bottom bunk!"

"Roman it's time for bed, get under the covers!"

"Virgil if I see you stayed on that laptop all night again I'm going to move you back in with your brothers!"

"But DAAAAAADD!" would come the voices of the upset children, content in their chaos and not wanting it to change.

"No buts except yours under the covers sleeping," said Ethan. Patton joined the bedtime police soon enough, guitar in hand, and began to play for the twins until they fell asleep. Then he moved onto Virgil, the guitar didnt work for him now that he was older, so Patton had bought him a white noise machine, and fairy lights in a soft purple hung in just enough spaces that the room still had a small amount of light, even when the regular lights were turned off.

"Goodnight my little misunderstood shadowling," said Patton once Virgil's eyes dropped and then shut.

Their little family was far from normal, but who wants a normal family when you can have crazy adventures all the time? Patton certainly didn't, and Ethan welcomed challenges.

"So now that there asleep, wanna continue that Harry Potter marathon?" said Patton, laying on the couch with his feet propped up on the table.

Ethan sat next to him and grabbed the remote, switching on the TV and selecting the next movie in the saga. Patton rested his head on Ethan's chest as they watched, burying it anytime something he didnt like happened.

And that was what an average night looked like in the house of Patton and Ethan Ramirez.

----------------------------------------------

Yknow I actually have a series with a similar plot under #moceit family au on @sablesides

[empressofmankind]

Sims of Thrones

The saga continues..

Love it when the game pulls these on you, omg. She would. Either which way, better get dressed proper like. Properly!

Over an hour later....

I can’t get over how these randomly trait-based generated images are always so terrifyingly on point

Ain’t that the truth. Now say it out loud please.

I do love doing these timed events

I am upset the waiter didn’t give one of the couch seats because now I can’t make ‘em snuggle, OK. This is a problem

Repeated it after me, Ty: Girls don’t want roses, girls want castle-forged swords

A grand success! Wooh!

Loren went ahead and invited herself to come along back home. And, I mean, that’s pretty much canon, lol

Meanwhile, at home, we’re reminded that we made Tyrion a teen:

I had no idea to whom he was propping that question, and honestly I wasn’t disappointed-

Whatever she said, don’t do it Tyrion!!

We’re home for literally five minutes and:

1. Loren kissed Tywin’s cheek, so score, and then

2. She bee-lined for Tyrion and helped him with his homework

Quality parenting right there, look at all these contextual action procs. The temptation to hit “adopt as care dependent” is REAL, lemme tell you. The ”enthuse about fruitcakes” thing is particularly hilarious, considering they’re Loren’s (and Kevan Jr’s) favourite but what even are the odds of the game proccing it when there is no Welcome To The Neighbourhood going on??

Tyrion are you sure-

Well that was bound to happen

Tyrion is a dog-lover and has made friends with Arlette & Emps’ dog Buster, who now drops by on his own. I didn’t know dogs could do that?

[fantasyinvader]

Elric of Melnibone

So, since I’m still waiting for my copy of the original short stories I figured I could go ahead and give my thoughts on the prequel. I’m going to skip Making of a Sorcerer since that was just a script for a comic, though I do like how it gave a glimpse of how Melnibone fell in line with the forces of Chaos. Now, it has been a couple of weeks since I read this so this is more the impressions that stayed with me than anything.

Recap

Elric of Melnibone is the story of Elric, Emperor of the Bright Emperor of Melnibone. The people of Melnibone are a cruel, hedonistic race whom believe that one must do what makes them feel good. This has led to a steep decline in power and influence, their own extravagances leading them to spending most of their day drugged out of their minds on their couches dreaming of being powerful. Melnibone’s capital, Irrmyr, is not called the Dreaming City for nothing.

Elric, though, is different. Due to being born a weak albino, dependent on potions to be even able to walk, Elric has developed something of a conscious. A crude conscious, one that doesn’t fully understand what justice means or leaves him asking what the purpose of guilt is, but a conscious nonetheless. One that has made him introspective, which in turn makes him alien to his people.

Like all the Moorcock I’ve read thus far, Elric of Melnibone is composed of three books within it’s single volume. The first gives us a glance at Melnibone, where the screams of slaves are music to their ears. Literally, as the alter their vocal cords so they can only produce one perfect not than their instuments torture them to create the music. We see how Elric goes about his duties as Emperor, fully realizing that his people are no longer as great as they once were. This book ends with Elric, fighting humans attempting to navigate the sea maze that protects Melnibone and thus establishing he’s a great warrior when he has his potions, being betrayed by his cousin Yyrkoon and left for dead.

The second book focuses on Elric’s exploits as a sorcerer. Returning to Melnibone due to unconsciously summoning a deity his family has a pact with, Elric tries to have Yyrkoon and shows he can be just like his people in his cruelty. But Yyrkoon escapes, taking his sister/Elric’s cousin Cymoril with him. To find her Elric manages to summon Arioch, a chaos lord who past Emperors of Melnibone have been the servants of, to learn their location. He continues to show off his abilities in summoning and dealing with these dieties, finding where Yyrkoon is hiding. Yyrkoon manages to escape into another world, where Elric pursues him.

The last of the books focuses on Elric trying to get to where Yyrkoon is going. Yyrkoon is after the all powerful runeswords, Stormbringer and Morneblade. We get to see some glimpses of those twisted by chaos, before the cousins duel it out with the runeswords. Elric and Stormbringer win, with Elric managing to prevent Stormbringer for eating Yyrkoon’s soul. 

Elric than decides to go out into the Kingdoms of man, using Stormbringer to help sustain him. He seems really idealistic about this, believing he can master the sword while learning from the humans. His goal is to make Melnibone a force for good in his world. Departing from his dear cousin/lover Cymoril, he leaves Yyrkoon to look after Melnibone believing that since he proved how powerful he was Yyrkoon would no longer have a reason to challenge him. Elric’s people have now accepted him, even this weird thing he does called mercy.

So, my general thoughts on this. Honestly, I kinda wish Moorcock did more with the setting of Melnibone. Yes, we do see how messed up they are but it never felt like they were only half-realized. Elric still has dear friends there who are loyal to him, not everyone is scrambling over each other to gain power for themselves.  Cymoril has a vaguer idea of what Elric’s conscious is like, as does Dyvim Tvar though he doesn’t like what he feels. The book is short and what we do see is pretty messed up, but it didn’t quite feel like this was fully realized.

What is realized is showing how awesome Elric can be. A powerful warrior and sorcerer, but we also see that magic isn’t so much of a toy. Elric has to become Arioch’s servant in order to get what he wants, and while he can summon Arioch to help him when needed it really feels like Elric is dancing to his tune. And we do get glimpses of Stormbringer’s true nature, as Elric has to fight it’s influence to spare Yyrkoon.

All and all, it feels kinda like it wanted to make Elric feel like a more generic fantasy hero. Not the anti-hero/boarderline villain protagonist he has a reputation as. Not the character listed in first edition DnD as Chaotic Evil. Just a hero, wanting to reform his twisted race. So with the next story being the one where Elric was introduced to break the mold, I’m expecting some literary whiplash. Maybe I should have read the books that fill in the gap, but I’m trying to go with just the original saga here.

This is a song about Elric.

[shadowsnlace]

If the drabbles are still open I’m gonna ask for Isshin and that cup of coffee...or maybe breakfast? 😆😉😘

Aaaccck! I saw this and had to jump on it! Because it’s Isshin! And I have a major weakness for him! Let the yumminess begin!

(This is a continuation of the previous drabble that was Isshin x first date)

For your second date with Isshin, he did in fact, come in and stay for coffee. But, unfortunately, that’s all he had. Sure, there were some hot kisses at the door when he left that night. 

That was over five months ago, almost six. Isshin had been dating you steadily. And the man was no slouch when it came to dating. He knew how to have fun and paint the town red. Whether you were squealing in an amusement park, having quiet drinks at cozy club or cafe, watching a movie, or any of the other number of activities Isshin came up with, you were always enjoying yourself with him. The more time you spent with him, the more you felt for him. And, you suspected he knew it. 

You were beginning to worry – he hadn’t introduced you to his kids. While he was always so confident and comfortable around you, there was a skittishness that was hovering at the edges. Neither one of you had dared to acknowledge it let alone address it. However, it would, without fail, raise it’s ugly head whenever your kisses got a little too passionate, a little too tempting, a little too close to driving him to do more. That’s when he would shut down the action and leave. 

Tonight was no different. You and Isshin had been on the couch for almost half an hour, hands roaming, lips and tongues dancing to a tune as old as time. When Isshin’s hand made contact with your bare thigh, you moaned, tried to move so that he was invited to reach higher. He immediately retreated, sat back putting space between you, “Sorry.”

You looked like you felt – confused. “Isshin, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

He ran his hand absently through his hair. “Nothing is wrong.”

“Bullshit.” You weren’t going to back down, not this time, you’d let him run away for far too long. “Every time things start to get hot and heavy, you stop and go home.” You shifted to sit next to him. “Please, just tell me what’s going on.”

His hands were clasped, fingers laced, squeezing, rolling. He was struggling, it was obvious. “I don’t want to rush things with you.” His eyes lifted to yours and you saw fear.

“How many women have you been with since Masaki died?” You knew all along you’d have to have ask this question at some point. 

“Two.” His eyebrows drew in, eyes closed, “Both times I let things go too far too fast.” His eyes opened, held yours, “I – I want this to be – the beginning of falling in love.” He reached over, cupped your cheek, “What I feel for you is different than anyone since Masaki. I don’t want to mess this up – because – I don’t think I can live without you if I do.”

A tear slipped down your cheek, “Isshin,” you felt his thumb wipe away the tear, “I want that too. The only way you can mess this up is to tell me you don’t want me in your life.”

His hand on your cheek went from soft to firm in a flash as he pulled your lips to his. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed, voice thick, “I’m damaged goods.”

You backed away so you could look him in the eye, “We’re all damaged, Isshin. No one goes through life unscathed. All we can hope for is to find someone that loves us despite our scars and makes us feel whole.”

He kissed you – a kiss fraught with desperation, uncertainty, and hope. 

He stayed the night, telling you everything you didn’t know about him. You’d spent your whole life seeing spirits, hollows, and once in a while, someone dressed in black dispatching both with different ends of a sword. Isshin had known all along, could sense your reiatsu, it’s what had drawn him to you the first time you’d met. The pieces started to fall into place and make sense as he explained everything to you. You both talked for hours, nodded off on the couch somewhere around 3 a.m. 

As the dawn arrived, it brought a new day and a new stage in your relationship with Isshin. He stayed for breakfast. And, later you’d be joining him for dinner – with his kids. 

(The saga will continue….)

[elves-as-things-my-friends-said]

Caranthir: so how's moving in going?

Celgorm: well, we finally got a couch.

Caranthir: about ti- I mean, nice.

Celegorm: unfortunately we cannot use the couch, because there are swords on it.

Curufin, distantly: fuck off!

[ikesenhell]

Reflection

“The Taste Saga”: Part 22. Find all chapters here.

Their days fell into something of a routine, the weekends proving their oasis. Those were the only days that she didn’t have to leave in the morning. On those days, they woke late, their bodies all tangled together, the rumble of the subway beneath them rattling the shelves. Kenshin ran his thumb along her shoulder, considering every curve of her body. 

Sometimes, she and he would slip into the kitchen together, making breakfast in tandem. Mitsuhide would pick between their plates like a scavenger, scooping his find together in a bowl like a savage. 

“That’s repulsive,” Kenshin snipped at him one morning. Mitsuhide just grinned and wolfed it down. 

Sometimes, the three of them would get dressed and head down out of her apartment, walking the streets and seeing what there was to see. He felt strangely without his sword, but she assured him that it ‘wasn’t normal’ to see weapons in this day and age, so he left it behind. They went to arcades and shopping malls, grocery stores and just walked wherever they liked. (After all, he wasn’t keen of the metro. It made him sick)

Sometimes they would pass big screens, some news announcement or another on it that he had no context or understanding of. Apparently she did. She would look at it and sigh, rubbing her face and shaking her head. 

“Everything okay?” Mitsuhide kissed her hand. 

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I just hate the news from America.”

And sometimes--sometimes, rarely, she talked about where she came from. Once, she pulled up pictures of herself from her childhood. Hundreds of them! The two men stared in awe as she slid through them, showing them a strange world they couldn’t even imagine. 

“It’s across the ocean,” she explained, flipping to a picture of a young her on the edge of an orange cliff. Behind her, stretched out for miles, was a deep canyon of reds, oranges, yellows, a gleaming river threading below. “It’s a huge place. Japan is tiny in comparison.”

“Why did you come here?” Kenshin asked. She smiled at him.

“I was chasing a dream. Got an offer for my dream job, and, hey, I was totally okay with leaving.”

“What about your family?”

The Princess stared out the window, considering her answer. At last, she sighed. “We don’t exactly get along.”

“Now that--” Kenshin frowned. “That, I cannot possibly believe. What would they ever find objectionable in you?”

She shrugged. “Don’t really know. We just don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.”

He didn’t press the subject further. Instead, he cradled his arm around her shoulder and kissed her neck. “Then at least we can all rest easy, for I will never let you go again. You need not worry about missing them. We will give you everything you could ever want.”

Sometimes, he and Sasuke spent time trying to discern what they should take back. The ninja had this incredible obsession with batteries--should they, shouldn’t they, how would he dispose of them, how many would he need? At first, Kenshin thought this had to be some incredible piece of technology, but then he saw the pack of small, metal tubes and stared in disbelief. 

“That’s it?”

“It powers a lot of modern things.” He shoved his glasses back up on his nose, rattling the box meaningfully. “I might be able to charge an iPod, or my phone, if we brought some of them and I made a sort of generator.”

“Sasuke,” the Princess laughed, “I think after long enough of having the same, what, couple hundred songs? We’ll be pretty much over them. Even I don’t like ‘Mr. Brightside’ that much.”

“I was envisioning more building a fan system, but provided the example of charging for clarity.”

“What, you gonna become an engineer before we go back, too?” She teased. “Whatever happened to that whole ‘not disrupting time’ thing?”

“In fairness, you are in a relationship with two powerful warlords on disparate sides of a conflict. I don’t think that is in the books.”

“Don’t drag me like that.” But they grinned at each other. “I mean, we could just bring a crank fan. Those still exist, right?”

“True.” Sasuke set down his pack of batteries. “That would be an easier solution.”

Sometimes, the three of them would sit in the living room, curled together on the couch and watching the flickering lights of the city. 

“Hey.” He still wasn’t used to the choppy cadence of modern language, but when it came from her, it sounded so good. “I think I’m scared.”

Mitsuhide frowned, stroking her hand. “Whatever of?”

“I...” She inhaled. “I’m just, really in love with you two.”

Kenshin knit his brows together. “Does that scare you?”

“I mean, kind of?” Her fingers entwined with both of theirs, wriggling between them. “I... the last time I fell in love was a while ago, a couple years, but... well, it ended badly.”

A rush of empathy surged through him. “What happened?”

“Uh. He decided he wanted other people more than me, so he started sleeping with a bunch of people and lied about it. Cheated on me for three years.”

Kenshin seriously considered killing this man before they returned to the present. “Where is he?”

“America. No, love, don’t kill him.”

Damn. A whole continent away. He forced himself to shut his eyes. “And now you are afraid that we, too, will leave you.”

She sighed deeply. “Yeah.”

Mitsuhide just squeezed her hand tight, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Kenshin reconsidered how best to cross the ocean and destroy this other man. How dare he? A sickening surge of anger rose like a tide in him, and--

“I just,” she continued quietly, and his anger dissipated. “I don’t think you two would. I’m just still afraid sometimes. I want to spend the rest of my life with you two, and... I am just scared that in a few months, you two won’t want me.”

“Never.” He swore, easily and honestly. “Never.”

Her smile was a tender ray of sunshine. Still, he knew she wasn’t convinced. Instead, the subject dropped, and she placed a kiss on both of their lips, curling in.

The next day was Monday, and so Mitsuhide and Kenshin met with Sasuke in the living room. 

“You want a what?” 

“A modern commitment ceremony.” Mitsuhide sipped some water. “Some sort of thing like that.”

“Hm.” Sasuke contemplated this, his glasses flashing in the light. “We can do that. Come on. Let’s go do a little bit of shopping.”

When she came home that night, Mitsuhide and Kenshin greeted her in their best modern clothes. 

“We have something for you.” Mitsuhide took her hand and kissed it. 

“Yes.” Kenshin unfurled a blindfold. She turned red. 

“Oh?”

“Not that.” Mitsuhide laughed out loud, and she just blushed deeper. “Come. We were going to lead you somewhere.”

“Ohhh.” 

Kenshin delicately wrapped the blindfold around her eyes, tying it in place. Together, they steered her out of the apartment complex and down the elevator, stepping out onto the street. It took a little walking, but eventually, they made it to the park where Sasuke waited. Silently, the man directed them onto a large, traditional bridge over a small lake. Around them, the flowers bloomed beautifully, the tranquil quiet of the night perfect. 

“Where are we? Can I take this off?” She asked softly.

“Not yet,” Kenshin answered, pressing a finger to her lips. 

Mitsuhide and Sasuke spread out the cushions on the bridge and the bottle of sake, and together they settled the Princess onto one of the seats. She wriggled, but did not try to remove the blindfold. 

“Good girl,” Mitsuhide praised, taking a seat of his own. Kenshin settled in across from him. “Now you can take it off.”

She did; at the same time, Sasuke flipped a button on his remote to turn on the lights of a bunch of floating lanterns in the lake. With the stars above--faint though they were against the city light--they glowed like magic on the dark water.

“Oh!” She gasped, covering her mouth. “Oh, wow!”

“When you told us last night that you were afraid,” Mitsuhide began, taking her hand, “we decided to demonstrate more concretely the commitment we have.”

“And that you are ours,” Kenshin added, taking her other hand. “Forever.”

“I...” Her eyes glittered. 

“And with that.” Delving his hand into his pocket, Kenshin produced a small box. Flipping it open, he presented her with a ring. It was simple silver, a series of small blue stones set along it, a larger, matching one beside it. “I wished to present you with this ring, as a sign of my dedication to you.”

“And I as well.” Mitsuhide pulled out another box. His was white-silver, a single yellow, glimmering stone set in the center, his own ring simply a golden band. “If you would permit us to give you these signs of our commitment and affections.”

“Oh my god.” She pulled her hands back from them to cover her mouth, a tear escaping her. “Oh my god. Yes. I accept.”

Delicately, they each took their hands back, setting the rings on the center finger of each hand. In turn, she took their rings and put it on their left hands, kissing both of them. 

“And to seal it,” Kenshin poured some sake into the cups. “Let us drink.”

“My favorite part.” Mitsuhide joked thinly, lifting his.

She lifted her own with a trembling, joyful hand, the rings flashing in the lantern light. For once, a peaceful, quiet satisfaction rolled through him. Ah, yes--and there would be no mistaking, now, no mistaking that she was his. “To us.”

“To us.” Mitsuhide repeated.

“I love you.” Kenshin added simply, his eyes never leaving hers. She pressed her hand to her eyes and smiled. 

“And I love you.”

[woodland-knight]

Ringabel, Edea, and the Saga of too many Rubber Ducks

Okay so some of you wanted to see the dumb thing I wrote up that I mentioned in this post, and so here it is. Honestly, all you need to know about this is that one friend shared this video with me, and when I shared it with another they said this seems like something Ringabel would do.

...thus was my influence for this. Don’t take it seriously at all, since it’s just something I wrote up in two hours for a good laugh. Please do watch the video I linked though, it’s honest to god hilarious.

Squeak… Squeak…

Edea came to a halt. She was in the hallway, the inky blackness of the night consuming her, and was trying to make her way back to her room. She had been alone when she had gotten up, and she had not noticed anything out of the ordinary as she went to get a glass of water. Ringabel had also yet to return from his late night activities, which meant she was all alone in the house. There was something, however, making a noise in the night.

Squeak… Squeak…

There it was again! A strange noise that echoed in the halls, and Edea had no idea where it was coming from. A mouse? No, Ringabel would never let one find its way in. A leaking pipe? It’s true the manor needed more repairs, but this wasn’t the same sound. An intruder? Edea didn’t think it was possible for somebody to break in, but perhaps Ringabel had left the door unlocked.

Squeak… Squeak…

A third time! Something had to be going on, or else the noise would have stopped by now. Listening to the noise closely, Edea placed her hand on the wall and made her way down the hall. Guiding herself through the darkness, Edea followed the soft noise until it became louder and louder. Soon, she found her hand touching a door, and based on what she could feel around her, she had made her way to her and Ringabel’s office.

As quietly as she could, Edea leaned against the door and listened in. The soft sounds of squeaking were still present, along with the sound of somebody moving around the room. So somebody had snuck in after all! Feeling around her, Edea grabbed a vase on a nearby table. She was more talented with a sword than a blunt object, but if somebody had broken in, she needed a way to defend herself.

Edea reached for the doorknob. She was hesitant, as she couldn’t be sure what was behind the door. It could be an intruder, but it could also be a monster that snuck in through a window. All she had to defend herself was this measly vase, and no armor on top of that. She took a deep breath and swung open the door.

“STOP RIGHT THERE!”

“Ah, Edea!”

Edea blinked. Across the room, sitting sideways in a rolling chair, was Ringabel with a rubber duck in hand. That wasn’t the only duck, however, as dozens of them also laid across his desk. There could have easily been a hundred rubber ducks in the room, and Edea had no idea where they had come from. She placed the vase down and put her hand over her face.

“Ringabel… Why are there so many ducks in here?” she asked in annoyance. She knew he was prone to doing strange things, but this was beyond ridiculous. There was no reason for him to have so many rubber ducks on him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ringabel said as he stared Edea dead in the eyes. “I don’t see any ducks in here.”

Edea groaned. “Ringabel, there are dozens of ducks in here! Don’t try to deny it! There’s even one in your hand!” she pointed out as she walked over. Ringabel smirked and squeezed the duck in his hand.

“Oh, you mean the rubber ducks!” he replied before laughing. “I have quite the collection in here, don’t I?”

“Yes, and I’d like to know where they came from!” she said as she tried to place her hands on the table. It took a few tries though, as her first few attempts were met with the interference of the ducks. She was tempted to throw them all off the desk and out the window.

“I bought them, of course!” Ringabel triumphantly declared. “It was quite a deal! A rubber duck for a single pg each!”

“And how many did you buy!?” Edea asked as she gestured to the ducks. She managed to knock a few over, and they squeaked as they hit the floor.

Ringabel bit his thumb. “Mmm, about two-hundred and forty?” he guessed. Edea groaned again and covered her face once more.

“You bought two-hundred and forty of these things!? What are we even going to do with all of them!?” she continued to ask. Ringabel seemed proud of himself, but Edea was still annoyed.

“We could do many things with them, Edea! Decorate the manor, throw them in the bath, or use them as stress relief!” he suggested before holding one out to her. “Give one a squeeze, Edea!”

Edea glared. “I’m not going to squeeze that thing, Ringabel- why are you even messing with these things right now!? It’s the middle of the night!” she pointed out to him. Ringabel, disappointed by Edea’s response, began to give her puppy eyes.

“Just one squeeze, Edea?” Ringabel requested. “I promise that you’ll feel so much better afterwards!”

Edea sighed and shook her head. “I’m going to bed. I’ll deal with you and these ducks in the morning,” she said before turning towards the door. Ringabel, however, reached over and called out to her, knocking more ducks over as he did so.

“Wait, Edea! Don’t go just yet!” he begged as he reached over. Edea stopped, barely turning to look back at her husband.

“I’m going to bed,” she repeated. “You’re welcome to join me, but you’re not allowed to bring any of these ducks with you.”

Ringabel began to pout. “Can I at least tell you one more thing before you go? I promise I’ll make it quick!” he told her as he tried to scoot closer to her. Edea sighed again, but gave her husband her full attention.

“One thing. You can tell me one thing, but then I’m going to bed,” she told him. She could see a small grin on Ringabel’s face, and she knew that meant trouble. Preparing for the worst, Edea closed her eyes. Faintly, she felt something brush up against her ear and heard it take in air.

...squeak!

Ringabel slept on the couch that night.

[enterinit]

New Xbox One Games for February 25 to 28

New Xbox One Games for February 25 to 28.

Kingdom Hearts III Re Mind (February 25)

Re Mind—The other tale that unfolded during the climax of KINGDOM HEARTS III. Determined to rescue Kairi, Sora travels to the Keyblade Graveyard a short time before the final battle was to take place. Lacking a corporeal form, he traces the hearts of the seven guardians of light. Through experiencing their personal battles firsthand, Sora is about to discover truths that he has never before imagined.

Infliction Extended Cut (February 25)

Wander through an interactive nightmare set within the confines of a once-happy household. Uncover the heartbreaking mystery hidden within messages, artwork, household objects, and other vestiges of domestic life all while struggling to survive encounters with an entity that relentlessly stands in the way of finding absolution.

Two Point Hospital (February 25)

BUILD, CURE and IMPROVE! Design stunning hospitals, decorate them as you like, cure very unusual illnesses and manage troublesome staff as you spread your budding healthcare organization across Two Point County. Two Point Hospital includes two DLC - "Bigfoot" and "Pebberley Island." Design and build your own hospital Build up a hospital from nothing to a masterpiece as you design the most beautiful – or functional – healthcare operation in the whole of Two Point County. Cure unusual illnesses Don’t expect Two Point County to be populated with your usual types of patients. In this world, you’ll experience Two Point's trademark quirky illnesses; from Light-headedness to Cubism – each requiring their very own special type of treatment machine. The County's the limit Your first hospital is where it begins, but what next? https://youtu.be/ATxBPTj8fvU

Wasteland Remastered (February 25)

Originally released in 1988, Wasteland brought the post-apocalypse to video games and inspired a genre. Play one of history’s defining RPGs with completely overhauled graphics, sound, and expanded musical score. The year is 2087, nearly a century after an all-out nuclear war turned vast swaths of the Earth into a radioactive hellscape. You are a Desert Ranger, a band of stalwart lawmen who are the only hope left in what was once the American southwest, and good people’s last defense against hunger, sickness, ravaging raiders, and mutants. Now something more secretive and sinister is menacing humanity, and it's your job to investigate. Recruit help and follow leads—the choices you make will shape the world around you. Choose wisely, your life and the lives of those you’re sworn to protect depend on it. Features: Wasteland Remastered retains the spirit of the original game while updating visuals and audio.The original game’s physical storybook is available in-game, fully illustrated and with full voice over.An expanded musical score from the "Wasteland 1 - The Original Classic" release.Old bugs that have been around since Reagan was president have been fixed.Survive the apocalypse from the comfort of your couch with full game controller support.Quality of life improvements that make the post-apocalypse a little friendlier. https://youtu.be/W6KF4xc-cd4

Ark: Survival Evolved – Genesis – Part 1 – (February 25)

Continue your quest for survival and unlock a whole new chapter in the saga of Ark: Survival Evolved with the Ark: Genesis Season Pass! This Season Pass gives you access to two new huge expansion packs and one exclusive in-game cosmetic pet. Further the Ark storyline while adventuring through unique and diverse biomes via an all new mission-based game mechanic. Discover, utilize and master new creatures, new craftable items and structures unlike anything you have seen yet.

Mega Man Zero / ZX Legacy Collection (February 25)

Six classic titles in one compilation: Mega Man Zero 1, 2, 3, and 4, as well as Mega Man ZX and ZX Advent. In addition to the original games, this package includes an artwork gallery, music player, special filters, and much more. Casual Scenario Mode and a Save-Assist feature are available for those who would like to enjoy the story at their own pace. Players can also try their hand at the new leaderboard-based Z Chaser Mode, an exclusive new mode created just for this set of games.

Hayfever (February 25)

Help Thomas the Allergic Mailman gather all his lost letters in this challenging and unique 2D platformer! In Hayfever, the player takes control of Thomas – a young postman with a strong work ethic. There is just one tiny little issue… Thomas suffers from terrible (and we mean TERRIBLE) allergies. It is up to the player to use Thomas’s allergies to help him traverse a dangerous world, turning his weaknesses into strengths! Different allergens have different effects on Thomas – radically changing how he interacts with the world. Regular pollen allows him to build up a big sneeze to propel himself through the air. Smog, on the other hand, makes him swell up like a balloon. Peanuts… Well, peanuts are a WHOLE other story. Features: Quirky retro-inspired graphicsDemanding, sneeze-driven mechanicsFour worlds, spanning all four seasons140 levels, with 240 letters to collect (legend has it that collecting enough letters unlocks extra, extremely challenging levels…)Allergy-fueled gameplay ranging from pollen and smog to nuts!An A.M.A.Z.I.N.G soundtrack

Sayonara Wild Hearts (February 25)

Sayonara Wild Hearts is a dreamy arcade game about riding motorcycles, skateboarding, dance battling, shooting lasers, wielding swords, and breaking hearts at 200 mph. As the heart of a young woman breaks, the balance of the universe is disturbed. A diamond butterfly appears in her dreams and leads her through a highway in the sky, where she finds her other self: the masked biker called The Fool. Journey through a custom-written pop soundtrack, chase scores, and set out to find the harmony of the universe.

Edgar – Bokbok in Boulzac (February 26)

You are eccentric outcast Edgar, living in the woods with your chicken and beloved squash crops. Unfortunately, a sudden disaster forces you out of your shack and towards the bright lights of the big city, Boulzac, where an 800 year old fire rages beneath the surface, and weird things are afoot. Explore a strange and comic universe, meeting its unhinged (and unforgettable) inhabitants and discovering ancient secrets. Unveil the surreal conspiracy holding Boulzac together. Trek above and below the light city. Enjoy whip-smart dialogue, surreal adventures and satire. Equal parts whimsical and dark: you’ve not met a cosmic horror like this before. It is developed by La Poule Noire, a cooperative that aims, through its productions, to make fun of social trends. In Edgar, conspiracy theory is at the heart of the plot.

Grizzland (February 26)

A seamless open world platformer presented in a retro style and filled with old-school challenges. Explore without pointers to uncover secret areas, equip yourself with unique items and skills, even the ability to shrink and enlarge or explode and recombine. Only through self-discovery will you overcome enemy dinosaurs in epic combat and find the truth of Grizzland.

Ganbare! Super Strikers (February 26)

An innovative mix between tactical RPG and soccer. Win matches to level-up and earn new equipment that will allow you to learn special abilities, boost your players’ stats or protect yourself against altered status effects, such as Sleep, Silence or Poison. Assume the role of a small-town soccer team in Japan on their way to victory. Perform well enough and you will be selected to join the National Team where you will need to play alongside old rivals in order to conquer the world.

One Finger Death Punch 2 (February 26)

You’re surrounded, outnumbered and must use any weapon you can get your hands on to dismantle your opponents in a flurry of kung fu. That’s the essence of OFDP2, the world’s fastest brawler. It features the original’s unique two-button mechanics where speed and precision are key in this whirlwind fighting frenzy, as players maintain control over the 26 different unlockable skills, frenetic gameplay, and classic kung fu-inspired animations.

House Flipper (February 26)

House Flipper is your chance to become a one-man renovation crew. Buy, repair, and remodel devastated houses to give them a second life and sell them at profit. What you’ve got at your disposal is a set of tools and parts to hammer, drill, nail and screw things together, and do whatever is necessary to fit, fix or clean up. Then experiment with interior designs and decorating styles you like with hundreds of items that to choose from. https://youtu.be/nh4zuyi7vVM

Vasilis (February 26)

Vasilis is a hand-drawn adventure game. Vasilis, the main character, has lost her husband Peter in the rebellious city center. The city has plunged into chaos by constant riots, and almost every day something is burned or someone is killed. Having been abandoned by the government, the center is now dominated by local workers and students, who were able to build four towers that bring life back to those that have died. Vasilis is a game which focuses on characters and story. It is divided into five chapters in which the player will deal with riots, cults, and cruel war events.

Castle of No Escape (February 26)

Explore a mysterious castle full of monsters and secrets on a quest to collect treasure (that will also protect you from the curses on your way) and crush the main boss. The game won’t let you exit the castle, no matter how you try; technically you can win, but there is no end.

Castle of No Escape 2 (February 26)

Prepare yourself for the dangers of the cursed castle where countless heroes have tried and failed to destroy the ancient spell held in its walls where hundreds of monsters roam, guarding the sword shards — the last known thing to be capable of defeating the demonic castle’s owner. Plan your steps carefully, because save points don’t exist in the Castle of No Escape.

Yakuza 0 (February 26)

The glitz, glamour, and unbridled decadence of the 80s are back in Yakuza 0. Play as Kazuma Kiryu and discover how he finds himself in a world of trouble when a simple debt collection goes wrong and his mark winds up murdered. Then, step into the silver-toed shoes of Goro Majima and explore his “normal” life as the proprietor of a cabaret club. Fight your way through Tokyo and Osaka by switching between three different fighting styles instantaneously and beating up all manner of goons, thugs, hoodlums, and lowlifes. When you’re not fighting, kill time in 1980s Japan. From discos and hostess clubs to classic Sega arcades, there are tons of distractions to pursue in the richly detailed, neon-lit world.

Spartan Fist (February 28)

Fight your way to fame, fortune and glory in this first-person puncher rogueltke as you work to retrieve the fabled Spartan Fist. Playing as Emma Jones, a down-and-out detective working to earn her keep, you’ll tap your inner badass as you punch dudes so hard they explode. Navigate through an arena that’s different each time you play and delve into a whimsically gritty and colorfully punk pixilated world while fighting your way to the top.

One Punch Man: A Hero Nobody Knows (February 28)

Dive into a dynamic fighting game experience with beloved characters from the first season of “One Punch Man.” Play as your favorite hero… or become one! Create your own hero avatar and choose your own set of powers and abilities with edge of your seat fighting and dynamic 3v3 fighting featuring events as seen in “One Punch Man” such as meteors and other heroes. Pre-order to receive early access to play as Saitama (Dream Version), Saitama (Black Suit) outfit, Saitama (Jersey) outfit, and Saitama Mask avatar part. https://youtu.be/1Qf8K7K6GaY

Stab Stab Stab! (February 28)

A brutal, physics-based, couch multiplayer fighting game where you stab your friends until they pop. Play as explosive fleshbirds with razor sharp beaks through vicious combat as you battle your friends in versus mode or team up in survival mode against the mindless hordes of cronenbirds across 12 unique and deadly arenas.

Bucket Knight (February 28)

Even knights must pay taxes, loans, and alimony. Help an unnamed, brave knight in his sacred mission to find the Holy Grail (and make some money). Explore dungeons, slay enemies, avoid traps, stay alive and get rich in this classic styled run-and-gun platformer. Read the full article

[kingdomofbretonxrpg]

Congratulations Lins! We are delighted to welcome Javan Floch to provide sustenance and drink for the hungry and thirsty citizens of the Kingdom of Breton and the wonderful visitors to this lovely nation. Please complete our after acceptance checklist. We are looking forward to seeing you develop him! Please send in his blog on or before 31 December.

Out of Character

Alias: Lins

Preferred Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 26

Timezone: PST

Anything else? I was only going to start with one, but this bio was too good and it spoke to me. So here we are.

Character

Name: Javan Floch

Birthdate and Age: April 23, 38

Preferred Pronouns: He/His

Faceclaim: Michiel Huisman

Family Affiliation: Maine

Profession: Owner of J2 Bar and Restaurant

Claim: unclaimed

Children: No

Designation: Dominant

What is their symbol?: Javan has a sword tattoo along his right forearm that looks like this. When he’s forced into formal wear, he wears a ring like this.

Kinks: Biting, Bondage, Lingerie, Oral (giving and receiving), Orgasm control/denial, Public Play, Rough Sex

Anti-kinks: Ageplay, Blood, Gore, Humiliation, Non-con, Scat, Watersports

Biography:

Javan took his responsibilities seriously. He had to do so because his parents were either negligent or cruel and very little in between. His brother, Jadon, was five years younger than him and from the minute he met the tiny red screaming infant, a sense of resolve began to harden within him. He learned things just so he could teach them to his brother.

Javan had regular relationships, which he promptly ended every time the submissive he was seeing hinted that they wanted something more serious. Javan had already endured one terrible home life. He enjoyed his bachelor ways and had no intention of giving them up.

Who knows what would have happened to the pair of young boys if it wasn’t for the Uncles - Edmund and Roberto. They were great-uncles, making them considerably more senior to the pair of young boys. The bachelors owned a large farm in the countryside and every summer as school wrapped up for the year, they would show up in their big truck and load up the pair of boys and cart them away, not bringing them back until school was due to start the next day.

Javan loved the Uncles. They were consistent and gentle. From these old men, Javan learned about crops, animals, food, responsibility and love. They really seemed to see the children. Praise came easy. Discipline was a cluck of disapproval and then an explanation as to the correct way to do the thing that he had gotten wrong. From his Uncles, Javan learned what it was to be a man and a Dominant.

Going home was always a nightmare, something to be endured, but alas his parents never did quite enough ‘wrong’ to be reported to the Head of House. So they suffered and endured and truly lived during their summers on the farm. When the Uncles died, quickly in succession of one another, Javan and Jadon were heartbroken. To the family’s shock and complete horror, the Uncles left all their considerable fortune to the two boys.

While they debated keeping the farm, realistically it was not their dream. After much discussion, they opened the J2 Bar & Restaurant in their honour. To their amazement, J2 was a roaring success, with a steady base of regulars and a nice lift from the tourists who could read about J2 in all their guidebooks. They specialized in traditional Breton dishes with a twist, wholesome ingredients and high quality alcohol.

Javan had regular relationships, which he promptly ended every time the submissive he was seeing hinted that they wanted something more serious. Javan had already endured one terrible home life. He enjoyed his bachelor ways and had no intention of giving them up.

Writing Sample:

Javan sighed as he shut the door on his (blessedly empty) apartment. He should have known she’d be a crier. If he had thought that Janelle’s tears were actually a sign of hurt feelings, he would have felt a tiny bit guilty. But he knew her too well for that. She was mad that she hadn’t been able to break his reputation as a confirmed bachelor and she would have to actually find her own place instead of flipping between his place and…her friend’s? Her sister’s? He hadn’t actually bothered to keep track of the details. What would the point be when he knew she wouldn’t be around for long?

Still, some parts of his life were easier when he knew he had someone on hand when he had to scratch that itch. At 38, the pool was getting small of people who weren’t either claimed or desperate. Or too damn young. A sub who had to have been max 22 had tried to flirt with him the other day, and all it did was make him feel old.

Running his hand through his hair, Javan tossed his jacket on the couch and walked through the clean living room to the internal door. The one that led down to the only other thing he let himself love besides his brother. J2 Bar and Restaurant.

As soon as he opened the door and heard the dull roar of a bustling Wednesday night crowd, he had to grin. Not many places could get this kind of pull on a weeknight, but damn if he and Jadon weren’t good at this. Back when it had started, it had been the two of them, a couple part time servers, and a cook to pinch hit when one of them was about to keel over from exhaustion. Now it thrived with full time chefs, bartenders, servers, and live music a couple times a month. For his own satisfaction, he knew he could still step into any position in the business and be just as good as whoever was standing there now. But there was something pretty damn cool in knowing that at this point, he didn’t have to.

He made his way into the kitchen, doing his best to keep a low profile. But of course that failed as soon as he walked in.

“So, crier or screamer? You’re here way too early to have to have reported on assault charges from that one.”

Javan grinned and relaxed enough to let out a full-throated laugh. “Crier. Big crocodile tears.”

Andre, head chef here for the last four years and close personal friend, let out a sharp sigh of disgust. “I should have known. Bet she managed to do it without smearing her mascara.”

“If you know this shit, why do you make me say it every time?”

“Because it is one thing to know and another to know. Your drama keeps me young and it means my people buy me drinks as I relate the latest incident in the saga of Tall, Dark, and Heartbreaking.” As he spoke, Andre’s hands were constantly in motion, stirring one pot, flipping a sauce pan, garnishing a dish, and pulling sauces out of thin air. It was a mesmerizing dance to watch. Only more impressive for the fact that Javan was almost positive that he could have done all of this while simultaneously writing the next Great Breton Novel if the mood struck him and someone had a good tape recorder.

“Tall, Dark, and Hungry would be more accurate,” he replied drily.

“Bah, so you come back to interrupt my kitchen? Of course you do. You never eat before you break hearts and then you complain after at the waste of the date. Luckily I am a genius and I decided to make Garbure today. You are allowed one bowl.”

Javan snorted as he grabbed a bowl and poured himself a generous helping of the stew that was one of their winter staples. “Allowed, huh? You planning on making me pay for it?”

“Details. I will require exquisite details.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok. How’s the new server working out?”

“Well. She’s made a couple mistakes here and there, but she’s so smiley and personable the customers are charmed before they can even start to get mad. She even survived serving Angelique earlier this evening and didn’t come in here crying to me. So that means hands off on this one, J.”

Javan had been eating his stew while leaning against the counter, more focused on Andre’s recital of information than the food that was going in his mouth. But that last warning had him stopping all movement. All of the easy humor vanished, and the look he shot Andre was completely flat and cold. “You know better.”

The silence for a moment was charged, both of them knowing that Andre had crossed a line. Javan might not want permanent in his life, but he was never careless. He never deliberately harmed anyone – which was why he ended it as soon as there was a whisper of serious. But more importantly than that, he would never do anything to harm the business. Ever. He had never gotten involved with a staff member while they worked for him. He rarely dipped into the customer pool unless it was a tourist he knew wasn’t hanging around. The only things that mattered in his life were Jadon and J2, and those needs would always come before his. Always.

“There is an extra slice of tarte au citron on the back counter,” Andre eventually said. It was as close to an apology as the other man was comfortable saying, and Javan accepted it as such. They had been friends for long enough to have developed their own language of communicating, neither of them comfortable with sentimentality or emotional conversations of any sort. Food could speak well enough for the two of them to understand.

Slice of tarte in hand, Javan made his way back upstairs to the suite of rooms he called home. Even with the door shut, the sound of customers was a muted rumble, but that was just how he liked it. It was continual proof that he had finally left those heavy silent rooms of his childhood behind. Meals he’d learned to cook to make sure his brother could eat had become the backbone of a restaurant that fed hundreds of people on a good night. Business classes he’d forced his way through meant that he’d gotten their place into the black and kept it there.

Money that had been given to them in love had made sure he and Jadon had been able to build something good. On the bad days, days where he had woken from another nightmare of being small and helpless in the face of another locked door or hearing that sarcastic laugh as he was called weak and emotional another damn time, he could walk straight out into the Bar and see something different. That mural of Edmund and Roberto that they’d had painted on the wall. His people that he was able to keep employed and taken care of. Customers who knew him by name and kept coming back for more. Tangible proof that his parents’ words had nothing to do with who he was now. Nothing at all.

Everything they were, everything they valued, he’d trained himself into the opposite until it was as natural as breathing. The final lesson he’d learned was to never let himself get too involved. He would never have a claim or a child. Even with practice, even with good examples, he would never risk finding that portion of his parents within him. He was never going to be that careless or that cruel to anyone who was tied to him. So he wouldn’t tie anyone. It kept his life simple, and it was just how he liked it.

Settling at the desk he kept up in his home office, he ate one handed as he started to read over the proposal from a new supplier. After all, he had a couple hours of his night free now that Janelle was out of the picture. Might as well put it to good use.  

[lwjoon]

I got you, bro

Jace still feels guilty about what happened and tries to sort his thoughts on his way to Magnus' loft

Okay man, relax. Just remember to thank Magnus and thank him for not kicking you out of the loft even after what you did.

Everyone has told him what happened wasn't his fault, that it was all Valentine's doing...

But it doesn't change the fact I was the one who activated the soul sword, jace thinks with a clenched jaw, if I hadn't been a-

Jace hadn't noticed he was standing at the top of the staircase so when he takes another step forward his foot only meets air and his breath is knocked out of his lungs.

He gasps and looks down at the carpeted floor for a second before he looks around to see if nobody saw him, letting out a sigh when he doesn't see any soul near by.

"That would have been embarrassing" Jace murmurs shakes his head at his wild-beating heart -imagine the newspapers, best shadowhunter to ever exist is defeated by non-existing step- before he continues walking.

And how could I forget the icing on the top he thinks bitterly, all those nights, trying to find a distraction, disgusted of myself for wanting to be with-

"Magnus, it's just us! Please let us in!"

Clary.

Other people would walk past the scene Clary is making, -just a girl knocking on somebody's door, frustrated because said person isn't answering-

But it's not just a girl. It's Clary.

"Magnus, please!"

...And Simon.

"Does anybody have a key?"

Okay, now he's feeling bad. How didn't he notice Izzy?

"Not even Alec has a key, Izzy" Simon answers wit a raised eyebrow; Clary tries to knock louder and groans when, once again, she doesn't hear a response. She leans against the door and looks at the way the dimmed light makes the blue wallpaper of the hallway seem green-er. God, I need to start painting again, she thinks with a pout.

"How do you know he doesn't have a key?"

"Sometimes I come here to ask Magnus for advice and I see when Alec visits him, he always knocks"

A heavy silence follows Simon's words as Izzy thinks of all the times she has been in the loft with Alec and Magnus.

"Not always, one time we visited Magnus without telling him and Magnus called Alec to let him know he wasn't home so Alec just opened the door´

"So Alec is just boyfriend goals, then?" at Izzy's smirk Simon stutters, "not that I have thought about that before, it's just that I have seen how he is with Magnus, not that I'm a stalker but-"

"Take a deep breath, Simon" Izzy chuckles and Simon blushes.

"Thanks"

"But still, what do we do? the only person that may have a key is-"

"Jace!" Clary's face lights up when she sees him and Jace does his best to look casual and carefree.

And failing.

"Hey guys" the three of them look at him with relief and Izzy rushes to where Jace stands.

"Jace, do you have a key to the loft?" Jace would laugh at the hysterical look on her face but anyone who knows Izzy knows that's not the smartest thing to do, so he just nods and fishes the key out of the interior of is jacket, he's about to give her the key when he thinks twice and stops.

"How long have you guys been waiting?" Izzy groans.

"I don't know, twenty minutes?" she tries to reach for the key but Jace lifts his hand so she can't reach, "Jace, I love you but if you don't give me the key I swear I'll end you"

"Haven't you thought why Magnus hasn't answered?" He looks at the confused look on everyone's face and he sighs, "where's my parabatai?"

"When we finished doing the reports he said he was going to have lunch with magnus," Clary answers with a puzzled look but then she looks back at jace with wide eyes "OH"

Izzy's jaw drops and turns towards the door, murmuring something between the lines of "so he did follow my advice" but apparently, Simon doesn't get the memo.

"So they're not here?" Simon asks confused and Jace tries to keep a straight face.

"Sure, that's exactly what's happening" Jace uses the key to unlock the door and grasps at the doorknob.

"I don't think we should get in" Clary says as she feels a blush creeping up her neck.

"It's alright, trust me. Besides, the key has a spell; I have to say something so the door can open"

"Something like what?" Simon asks with intrigue.

"Jace leans his forehead on the door before lifting up his head and rolling his eyes.

"It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.

The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space...." Jace lifts his hands dramatically and everyone stares at the door when the key lights up in a golden color before they door opens slightly.

"Seriously?" Izzy asks while Simon just looks amazed. Jace murmurs something under his breath. "What's that?" Izzy asks with a smirk.

"They found out I know all the opening crawls of star wars," he explains without looking at them. Simon looks at him with wide eyes full of curiosity.

"But why the Empire Strikes Back?"

"It's their favorite movie of the saga," Simon hums in agreement and Jace pushes at the door.

All of them sigh in relief when they enter the penthouse and smell the cinnamon and other mysterious scents that always invade Magnus' lair.

"It seems Simon was right" Izzy shrugs and leaves her jacket on a chair.

Izzy, Clary and Simon sit on the couches but Jace hears a sound and stays next to Magnus' room, looking at the door and noticing it's unlocked. Jace looks at the living room.

"Jace? What's wrong?" Izzy asks worriedly when she notices her brother didn't follow them.

"Nothing! I-erm, I'm looking at Magnus' books to see if I can find one of a demon" he tries not to wince at his lame excuse but when he hears Izzy talking to Clary and Simon he lightly knocks on the door. "Guys, you left the door unlocked"

He feels sheepishness through the parabatai bond and then blue sparks emanate from the doorknob before disappearing altogether. He's turning to leave when he feels a weight on his arms and looks down to see a note -Thank you, Jason- on top of a couple of books: Shax demons of this century and Shadowhunters for dummies.

Very funny, Magnus.

When he goes to sit with everyone he doesn't notice Simon is looking at the books until he yells:

"It exists!"

The world may not be perfect right now but at least he has has his friends and Simon's excited giggle ... A few minutes later, when a portal appears in the middle of the living room and brings Alec and Magnus carrying bags -good try guys- Jace just looks over Simon's shoulder to check chapter 3.

Not that he'll ever need it.