#the song i associate with my main is a different story though

[grimm-the-tiger]

I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to make an animatic for "Take Me to War" about my Fallen London Shadowy alt.

[justagirlluckyme]

My thoughts on the Melanie Martinez and Timothy Heller situation as a fan since 2016/2017

When I first become a fan of Melanie Martinez I was around 8-9 years old and incredibly impressionable. I was too young to understand the gravity of the situation and when I saw people like Crow (formally known as Piper Sweeney) defending Melanie I immediately believed it. Looking back, his arguments were incredibly flawed and his main point was “I’m a victim as well and I didn’t react that way to my trauma so Timothy must be lying.” As well as a fake instagram story where Timothy allegedly admitted to lying due to her mental health issues. There’s so much more to the Crow, Melanie, and Timothy situation but that’s for another discussion.

Another common argument I’ve seen is that Timothy must be lying since she doesn’t fit the perfect victim role. She lacks vulnerability, believability, and respectability. The reason many people believe this is because of many racist and fascist posts she’s made below 👇

Got screenshot from TikTok

Naturally, people find it hard to respect or believe someone like this. But, you can be an awful person and a victim of abuse. Obviously, I will never defend Timothy for these posts as they go against every belief I hold as a human being (hopefully everyone’s beliefs), but someone being flawed and not fitting your perfect blameless victim mentality doesn’t mean you can’t be abused. Again, I don’t like or would ever associate with her but she’s still able to be a victim.

When the allegations were first introduced in 2017 I believe, this was Melanie’s response:

The biggest portion people take out of this is “she never said no to what we chose to do together.” The phrasing of this was very very icky to me. It almost felt like a confession because “not saying no” is clearly not consent. Then again, the part where she says “what we chose to do together” part made it seem as if it was a mutual agreement. But, the phrasing was poor so it’s hard to say. Later, Melanie released the song Piggyback on SoundCloud and to me it was in poor taste. She only released it on SoundCloud because “she didn’t want to profit off of 🍇 allegations.” But it felt very unnecessary. Essentially, it felt like a diss track.

Many people say, “why are we brining this to TikTok and not settling this in a court case?” According to the Washington post, “Just 5.7 percent of incidents end in arrest, 0.7 percent result in a felony conviction and 0.6 percent result in incarceration” Now, imagine those odds against a millionaire celebrity with seemingly no proof other than each others words. There’s not much incentive to want to settle things legally. Though I agree, it may have been better to settle things privately but I understand her wanting to be believed.

Another thing I’ve seen against Timothy is she got the dates of the sleepover wrong when asked about it. Regardless of the dates, both Melanie and Timothy agreed the encounter occurred so it really doesn’t seem important when it happened.

“Why would Timothy stay friends with Melanie after it happened and dress up as her?” Everyone responds to trauma differently. It’s not uncommon to stay in relationships with abusers and if you’ve ever listened to other victims stories, it’s actually quite common. Of course, not everyone is going to react the same way and it feels unfair to say “well if I was in that situation I would never do that!” But the truth is, you don’t know. I’ve never been abused in that way so I have no idea how I would react. Everyone responds differently.

I’ve seen many people say “I hope these allegations aren’t true because I’m seeing her live soon!” Or “I’ve spent so much money on merch this better not be true!” And to that I say, this isn’t about you. This isn’t about you or me or anyone else other than Melanie and Timothy. Yes, I’ve bought Mel merch in the past but I feel the money I’ve potentially wasted is not relevant right now. Yes, this is very disappointing as Melanie’s music and art has essentially raised me, but there’s a much bigger problem than things like that.

There’s so much misinformation being spread by both parties defenders it’s hard to say which proof is true or not. At this point, I’m just waiting for Melanie’s response to all this. As of right now, only Melanie and Timothy truly know what happened that night. Unless some new proof comes out, it’s likely we’ll never know the truth. Everything I stated above is just my thoughts on it all. I feel the need to reiterate this, in no way do I endorse or support timothy for all the horrid things she’s said and done! This is a very sticky situation. She has a poor character and if the 🍇 allegations are true, Melanie does as well. All I know is I’d rather believe a potential victim rather than a potential 🍇ist.

If you are an active Melanie supporter and defender I want you to ask yourself this: if Melanie wasn’t famous, you never listened to her music, never bought her merch, never attended a concert of hers, would you be defending her? Don’t let your belief bias cloud your judgement. If she was an average person with these allegations EVERYONE would be on Timothy’s side. “But I know Mel and her music shows her morals, she would never!” You don’t know her at all. You have no relationship with her and if you truly believe you do it’s parasocial.

This is just my 2 cents on the situation. I tried to be as mature and respectful as possible.

I apologize if there’s any typos. I’m writing this at 2 am as I had many opinions I wanted to share as a long time Mel fan. As of right now, I probably won’t stream her music. People say “seperate the art from the artist” but I find that difficult when my streams directly go to her pockets.

If you read this, thank you! If you have any thoughts to share or points I missed feel free to comment. I will be heading to bed now, goodnight :)

[the1312daysofchristmas]

If you haven't done so already, I would love to hear you elaborate on You're Crashing and how it relates to the Fred Hampton Jr trial? My knowledge of him and the trial starts with your header text and google isn't exactly forthcoming on the climate of public opinion at the time it was actually happening. Also I just want to hear your thoughts since I heard it from you first, if that's ok

no problem. take what i say with a grain of salt, as im not american, so this isnt my history directly. additionally, this was before my time.

after the beating of rodney king at the hands of police, and the acquital of 3 of the 4 officers responsible, there were riots. the 1992 los angeles riots to be precise. these riots sprang up amid a backdrop of tension between black american and korean communities, and during these riots, a korean menswear store was firebombed. fred hampton jr, son of civil rights activist and martyr fred hampton, was found guilty for this, with the main piece of evidence i believe being that there were blisters on his hands. he and his supporters maintain his innocence for this event. many people, particularly black political activists, believe that his guilty verdict was mostly because he continued his fathers legacy in fighting for racial justice in america.

it is a known fact explicitly stated by the band that youre crashing but youre no wave is inspired by this trial (this is pre release, so the song names are different). this is demonstrated through the narrative told by the lyrics. the story ended before it began. the DA didnt need to give his closing argument, because the jury already believed it from the narrative spun on the news. 'everyones looking for relief/a bidding war for an old flame's grief' the old flame in this case being his father, from whom he picked up the torch. you could pay to close the case like a casket, because whats inside it is messy, and no one wants to see the dirty guts of the truth. the jury is stacked. the witnesses are well paid (too well dressed for the witness stand). the song heavily, heavily implies over and over, that this is not a fair trial, and that there is a foregone conclusion.

i feel as though its easy to argue this song is out of place, but personally, while its VERY on the nose and not really all that subtle (and i like that about it, dont get it twisted), i think it fits into the theme. i mentioned a while back that 'be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then life seems most enchanted after all' refers, in the context of its association with this album, to the stars in hollywood. ioh is about media narratives first and foremost. its about fame, and celebrity, and painting a perfect picture, one that sells well. its all about the artifice ('style your wake for fashion magazines' 'i only think in the form of crunching numbers in hotel room collectong Page Six lovers' '"we need umbrellas on the inside" get me just right.') and in this case, it shifts its focus from media and celebrity into media and politics. which i find really really interesting.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

kenny for the ask meme 🧡

Fantastic. Let's get the most important one out of the way🧡🧡 The silliest little booger🫶🫶🫶

Favorite thing about them:

Two things; his unwavering kindness and his immortality.

I love how kind and sweet and charitable he has remained despite, or maybe because of, all the horrors that he's been through. He could've become a cynical asshole and I wouldn't blame him, but instead he dedicated his time caring for his sister, become a symbol of hope for South Park and become a philanthropist once he became rich enough to afford it.

His immortality is just a dope fucking concept and I have so many different AUs and stories in progress where it's the centered topic. It just fascinates me i love it

Least favorite thing about them:

Literally nothing. I love all his ugly ass booger attributes. Even his stupid ass hair dryer side profile. Maybe I hate that he doesn't have enough episodes where he's the main character

Favorite Line:

"Yeah, people don't even care if shit's dumped everywhere. Everyone just loves technology."

"Sometimes, people do stupid things. Sometimes they don't realize what should have come first. Until it's too late."

(Sorry I couldn't pick just one. He's my favorite little guy.)

BrOTP:

Kenny & Kyle >:))) their friendship is SO unexplored even though they have so much canon potential. The fact that Kenny went to Kyle to get his help as Mysterion "because I think you are the smartest kid in class" is so telling for how much he respects Kyle. Then also that Kyle is the one to initiate Kenny's cheesing intervention in the major boobage episode speaks for how Kyle cares for him. And the "I can't die" "It's not pretty cool, Kyle, it fucking hurts!" conversation is so juicy and full of interesting conflict potential. Maybe that's why K2 are the dynamic that receives arguably the most attention in my fic🫶

Also Kenny & Tweek. SO MUCH untapped potential in that dynamic.

And Kenny & Cartman!!! They're such interesting foils in every way, the "fat ugly mean kid and the detached loner poor kid", both the poorest kids at their schools and both with a fascinating dynamic with Butters. They're best friends and rivals, they're each other's biggest haters and somehow have a soft spot for each other too.

OTP:

Kenny and Butters. I'm not gonna elaborate because I'd be sitting here all day but if I could summarize it I'd point you to Mysterion vs Chaos, the fact that Paladin Butters had a canon crush on princess Kenny in TSOT, their canon sugar daddy/baby dynamic in post covid when Butters literally scammed everyone else in his path, and the fact that I love tragic characters finding joy and wonder in each other.

nOTP:

Can't really say any bc Kenny has interesting dynamics with everyone lol but if I have to name popular romantic ships that I just don't see I'd name Crenny and Stenny shjshsk SORRY

Random Headcanon:

He loves food and eats FAST like a starving animal (licking his fingers afterwards and everything) he's not exactly the kid your mom would love for his dinner table manners

Unpopular Opinion:

He isn't suave or handsome. IRKS me when he's a big ladies' man in fics. He's stinky and not an overly smooth flirt; any attention he gets from girls is because he's genuinely kind and sweet

Song I associate with them:

Favorite Picture of Them:

He's such a wannabe mysterious little fucker

[yuseirra]

THIS IS IT THOUGH!!! THIS CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING WEIRD IN THE STORY!!!! LISTEN, I DON'T GET WHAT THIS STORY WOULD BE IF THIS ISN'T IT!!

How else are you supposed to explain the plot at this point????? I'm telling you, I think I’m pretty close here, right? Otherwise, it all just doesn’t add up. EVERYTHING ADDS UP IF WHAT I CAME UP IS RIGHT... How are they going to do it? How is this story going to make sense at all if they don't bring back the idea that gods are taking part in the tale because there's already been hints and supernatural elements have actively coming into play within the story.

I just woke up at 1am in the morning and started typing because this REALLY bugs me, it's so obvious to my eyes. Yup, it's so weird for me too, (to resort to the idea of gods to understand everything) but I really would have no idea just what onk if the truth is not even remotely close to what I came up with. The rest of this post is machine-translated. Please pardon me if it sounds a bit clunky, it's due to that reason.

People aren’t really taking my words seriously—maybe because the content sounds too far-fetched.

However, since chapter 144 established that there are "gods" (plural) who don't know they’re gods, shouldn’t we take that information seriously and try to interpret it? That chapter wasn’t even that long ago;; it’s a clear piece of foreshadowing. Based on what I’ve seen in chapter 160, it seems like the white star = love and the black star = lies. So, if there’s a god who loves humans = white star, and a god who loves absurdity and irrationality = black star, it makes sense.

The main characters inherited "eyes" from their parents, with "stars" embedded in them. Therefore, the character associated with the white star = god who loves humans = Ai, and the character associated with the black star = god who loves absurdity and irrationality = Kamiki.

But Kamiki originally had a white star, and the black star is a color that has been "tainted" (chapter 140). This implies that he was originally a different type of entity.

There are three named gods mentioned directly in the story. First, Tsukuyomi, whose role as a god is just openly stated. Second, Amaterasu, whom Ruby self-identifies as in chapter 3. Third, the god Ame-no-Uzume, who is the deity of the shrine that various characters visit together. Ai is said to have been chosen by the god of entertainment, so that god could be either Ame-no-Uzume or her husband. The missions of the main characters are related to Ai as said in chapter 3.

This shrine worships both Ame-no-Uzume and her husband, Sarutahiko. Sarutahiko is a god of light who is described as noble and guides people on the right path.

So, Aqua’s insistence on killing Kamiki, who’s "corrupting Ruby’s future" in the later parts of the story, could make sense if Kamiki is indeed that god and has fallen. The things he’s done seem strange in a way that’s almost unnatural. His actions, even minor ones, always end up leading to disastrous consequences, as though twisted and warped. I think it’s because he was once that god, but he’s fallen from grace.

In the lyrics of "Mephisto," the lines "I forgot who I was!" and "Remember who you lived with" seem almost explicitly written for a character who was once a god but no longer realizes it. Given that the song is about wanting to reunite with a deceased lover (probably), and with the last two lines just having to be from Kamiki’s perspective, that entire song seems to be Kamiki’s song. It talks about gathering "light," so we can infer his actions of going after people with the star eyes must stem from a desire to see Ai again and to be like her, needing "light" in some way.

The same ideas continue and extend in "Fatal," expressing a desire to receive "your light" or "your love" from someone (likely Ai). The need to be filled, to be whole, comes from a lack of "love"—from not having Ai. This character has had a strong desire for love, being told as a child that he was hollow, which implies that the love (Ai) he needed was something fundamental for him. He himself recalls that if only he had Ai, he could endure anything. And I think that’s true. But with Ai gone and even murdered, he’s left lost, searching desperately for love—for Ai (chapter 160). The reason he fell and became the black star, unable to function, is because he lacks "light." That "light"—the white star—is described as eyes that convey love, which Aqua explicitly calls out in chapter 160. Kamiki’s eyes were originally supposed to be like that too, but they twisted because he didn’t have love.

It doesn’t seem like a normal person would sing "Fatal" or "Mephisto." There’s something strange mixed into those lyrics. They even describe "falling from grace," which just screams Kamiki, so why don’t people believe it? I’ve been saying this ever since the song came out, but nobody believes me..;; I wouldn’t even be saying this if there weren’t foreshadowing in the story.

If Kamiki really is the black star, then there could be some interesting interpretations. Every time the main characters use the black star, they actually end up getting what they want. The black star has immense power, almost like a reality-warping ability. If Kamiki is indeed the father of both main characters, then it makes sense that he would watch over and help them from the sidelines. In my opinion, this person was originally noble and not inherently evil. He even expressed having some kind of paternal love, so he’s likely done things for the kids in his own way. As a god who grants wishes with Ame-no-Uzume, he might have been the one who granted the wishes when the characters went to the shrine to pray.

Yet, despite their wishes being granted, the results were devastating. Kamiki’s ability to lead people to their futures is clearly distorted. In chapter 147, he even asks Ruby what her true wish is, and in the English version, the god he mentions that'd listen to her is referred to as "he." Kamiki, who wanted to know and fulfill his daughter’s wish, is likely that god. That’s why he asked her what she wanted and wanted to grant her wish. He even tells Aqua they have the same eyes and goes on to explain it—that’s because he was the one who gave Aqua those eyes! As a father, in his own way, he’s done a lot for them. He doesn’t disregard his children; he’s just consumed by thoughts of Ai, thinking that he’d be fine with dying if he could just meet her again. Since he also blames himself for Ai’s death, he even influenced the kids to come after him and kill him. When Aqua is overtaken by the black star and can’t die yet, he has a firm belief that his father is the culprit, as though Kamiki gave him a reason to live.

Ai worried about him because she’s his wife. From what I see, Ai was born first, then Kamiki a year later. I have an idea that Ai reincarnated as a human first and Kamiki followed her out of concern. There’s even a line in the song "Idol" about the reincarnation of a "star." Ai is the reincarnation of something, and the most fitting match is Ame-no-Uzume, who has a similar personality to Ai and is famously known as a god of entertainment. This god has no hesitation in expressing herself, but the authors twisted this trait by making Ai someone who wants to show herself but ends up lying instead. Ai asks someone to help guide Kamiki if he loses his way. From this, I already got a sense of who Kamiki was—he’s a god who originally guided others on the right path.

If this isn’t the case, the how can this story be explained at all? Even down to the legend of Sarutahiko having drowned, the parallels are all there!

There are also two myths associated with Amaterasu and Ame-no-Uzume that match this story. One is the tale where Amaterasu hides in a cave, and Ame-no-Uzume lures her out with a dance, after Amaterasu’s brother Susanoo frightens her into hiding. The second is the myth of the Heavenly Descent, where Sarutahiko, who initially opposed Ame-no-Uzume's descent to earth but later married her, guides Amaterasu’s grandson to earth.

These roles align with Ruby’s brother, Aqua, and Ai’s partner (potential husband), Kamiki.

So, there are three main sources to understand Kamiki:

Content from the manga

Songs. "Fatal" and "Mephisto" match this character perfectly. I felt it the moment "Fatal" was released and have been writing about it since then. It’s real.

The myth of Sarutahiko.

This manga is supposed to have mystery elements, but I feel this character is the most mysterious out of it all. After chapter 154, I was like, "Wait, Ai and Kamiki were both mutual?" and that sparked a huge interest, so I dug into it, and my interpretation aligns best with the foreshadowing! If the author didn’t put in the god theme just for fun, then this explains everything! But no one believes me seriously! I’m just drawing from the content that’s there—if it’s not this, then what else could it be? It feels like he does have some kind of reality-warping ability (per the manga). He might even be able to grant others’ wishes. When you consider the lyrics of the songs, his motives make sense—he’s going mad from longing to see Ai and to receive her love. The way he’s described makes "love" seem almost like a life-sustaining force for him. It seems like he couldn’t return to the white star without it. When he temporarily became the white star upon seeing Ruby, it was probably because he received the light of love. Without Ai, he couldn’t find someone who could love him, so he’s lost his function as a god, twisted, and fallen. He should’ve guided people down the right path, but he’s broken, causing everyone around him to fall apart too. He said he didn’t want to hurt anyone—at least, in the beginning, I think that was true. The song even mentions that he didn’t know who he was. He must’ve realized it after Ai died, and as in "Fatal," he embraced his destiny and began using his powers. And if you look at the mythological references, they explain various aspects—like Kamiki’s unique powers and the story of how he and Ai met.

It’s not like that? This can’t be? At this point, could that even be possible?

Going down this path would tie everything together: the black and white stars in the eyes, Kamiki’s bizarre deus ex machina-like abilities, Aqua's reasons for going to such lengths, the protagonists' missions, those strange lyrics, and every other clue. The story’s entire message would make sense. There’s no way it could be anything else, or else none of it adds up. Kamiki isn’t a regular person… He’s truly strange. Even up to the last chapters, there’s no clear revelation of what he’s actually been doing. With this explanation, though, all those hints come together, creating a pretty compelling narrative—every piece is already there! Like, if he were a god originally governing the entertainment world, and he’s hit hard by its darkness, he ends up in this messed-up state, and after losing Ai, his wife, he goes mad. So Ruby and Aqua receive their missions, similar to the mythology of replacing the Sun God—Ruby is meant to replace him as the next Sun God, and Aqua’s role is to kill him. Ai left a message asking for her husband to be saved. But seeing how hopeless his situation is, Aqua drowns him.

And, you know, he was originally a noble god—a genuinely kind one! This transformation wasn’t fundamentally his fault. Going in this direction, the story could actually have a lesson about living kindly. There could be a moral here if they go this route. A moral! Otherwise, it just… doesn’t lead anywhere.

HELP I HONESTLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS STORY OTHERWISE AT THIS POINT... IT CAN BE SAVED IF IT'S LIKE THIS, TO A DEGREE, IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING REALLY WELL

[microchive]

either cam or gideon for the character thing!!!

GAH!!!! picking gideon because you already did cam also i want to talk about gideon nav my best friend gideon nav

favorite thing about them: how do i even begin.... i love that she isn't a hero and doesn't become one through the narrative, i love that she is so blatantly posturing all of the time and she builds herself up to be this big confident sexy funnyman because she needs that to keep herself afloat but what she is in reality isn't any lesser! she is funny and she's shy and nervous and she's so powerfully butch to the bone in a way that avoids all negative stereotypes but still manages to highlight the pitfalls butches find themselves in. she has so many layers and people reduce her to some kind of himbo when in reality she's objectively both too mean and too intelligent to be a himbo. i love that you can sense from the very beginning that she is sitting on a massive broiling lake of sadness and for all of her posturing she is both incredibly delicate and one of the strongest characters in the story. i love that she sucks so bad and died a virgin like christ jesus and even missing half her soul she remains consistent not in her outward personality but in her ability to shield her soft underbelly through some sort of performative attitude but EVERYONE can see right through her except gideon herself because everything she does is loud and annoying. she's impulsive and passionate and. incredibly annoying. i hate her and she's my favorite person ever

least favorite thing about them: probably the war crimes but it's not like she's passionate about war crimes she just doesn't gaf. this is just what a lesbian situationship will do to a guy

favorite line: literally all of them man everything she says makes me laugh.... here are some standouts though: - "If my heart had a dick you would kick it" - "I have lots of fealty in me. I fealt the Emperor with every bone in my body. I fealt hard" - "You've got two short minutes left before I punch you right in the butthole" - everything she says when talking to ianthe

brOTP: her and camilla ooooohhhh..... also her and pal. gideon works so well with the sixth house because they're just as annoying and generally peculiar as her they're just more lowkey about it

OTP: i'd have to say griddlehark because i have never stopped thinking about them ever but i do enjoy gideon x camilla (i forgot their ship name) because the cav4cav shit is so good godddd they're just two sides of the same coin, the same story with different upbringings they would help each other out

nOTP: not a huge fan of gideon and corona just because i think corona needs to chase someone who doesn't like her for enrichment purposes and gideon's schoolgirl crush on corona probably doesn't translate well into an actual relationship (let's be real though none of these relationships are going "well") but it is an interesting dynamic

random headcanon: i think she is really gross. genuinely. she picks her nose and doesn't wash her face and harrow gets on her ass about it which i guess is reasonable. also more intense but i definitely think both gideon and harrow have food issues but while harrow copes by being intensely picky gideon has some textual evidence of binge eating which makes sense to me character wise and also would explain why she developed muscle on planet malnutrition

unpopular opinion: i don't really have any once again?? i guess i like to imagine she isn't as attractive as she thinks she is but a lot of people write and draw her as a lesbian adonis which i understand because thats how she describes herself lmao. i think she's kind of cute in a weird way and tamsyn describes her as boyishly pretty so in my mind she's the kind of hot a straight man would never agree with. she is still the hottest person in the world to me

song i associate with them: I HAVE SO MANY. main ones are: father by the front bottoms, dance in room song by sipper, bodysnatchers by radiohead, suffering jukebox by silver jews, knife in the coffee by car seat headrest

favorite picture of them: this fanart: (this artist does such a delicious gideon ohhh i need her.) https://www.tumblr.com/bastardnoodle/741903153830723584/im-in-the-middle-of-reading-harrow-and-i-miss-her?source=share

[nemo-draco]

Bendy: Secrets of the Machine Thoughts

Putting them under a spoiler cut for readability

So far, there is a lot of intrigue regarding GENT and their role, as well as the potential return of the Nightmare Run characters.

GENT's involvement so far as been more on the sidelines in the games. It's implied they have similar issues with the supernatural, and they are running experiments with the ink the Machine produces, the books also backing this up with the reappearance of Archie Carter. However, with the new character. Riley Wells, introduced, it creates a more interesting layer to this, in that it is implied that she was recruited by GENT shortly following her dismissal from JDS. Now, if she is a villain or a victim is up for debate. It could be that they hired her as a test subject similar to Archie Carter and her metamorphosis was just far more severe as a result of the traumatic experience in her childhood, or perhaps she provided the specs that ended up producing a real-life version of "Bloodwheel", the more monster-y version of Gaskette that even gets a whole song in Riley's flashback.

Riley's story is also interesting in that it provides a canon explanation for why the Nightmare Run toons are more monstrous, though it really only does so for Gaskette. She's never shown drawing any of the other bosses, just him. Which makes me wonder if maybe she was part of the character design for only him, and the others are all going to get their own stories later on in the game. I really do hope they go this route, mostly because it would be a nice callback to the no longer available Nightmare Run, and you could have some real fun with the bosses 'backstories', depending on how involved you want to be.

Can think of a few things immediately off the bat: Chester being another example of a childhood fear turned into a debilitating trauma, except involving someone who has thalassophobia strong enough to rival H.P. Lovecraft. Kind of paves the way for a lot of spooky imagery involving the ocean, ocean life, and ink.

Dewey at first seemed a little comical to think about in this context, after all, a fear of librarians seems extreme, though thinking more on it my thought is that he's the product of a different type of emotional stuckage. Instead of a fearful person, perhaps Dewey was created by a very angry person, someone who had a lot of trouble controlling their temper and would frequently blow up at seemingly minor issues. After all, Dewey's main character trait seems to be his temper, as we remember from his character card that he has a disproportionate reaction to Bendy knocking over some books. Granted, between the fact that the exact quantity of books is never mentioned, and a cartoon being a cartoon, it makes me wonder if Bendy might not have knocked over a few books, but more likely a few stacks or even whole shelves worth. I mean, what's funnier, a few books coming down or the library getting a spontaneous remodeling job thanks to a careless patron?

...It's probably not so fun for the librarian, but you get my point. So, potentially, we have someone who has a temper problem creating this character as a way to offset their issues. It might just be less helpful and creating a bit of a feedback loop, where they're constantly ruminating over their problems rather than addressing and moving on from them.

Canoodle was another one that eluded me a bit, though there are two potential driving forces that could have fueled his creation. On one front, junkyards aren't exactly friendly places sometimes, and it would be easy for some sort of accident to happen that could produce some sort of negative association, though there is also the fact that a sentient can being in a junkyard creates this almost weird mental image. You'd think that'd be a dangerous place for him, and this is somewhat proven true if you beat him in Nightmare Run, as he's promptly crushed and disposed of. So, perhaps a preoccupation with death, or a person who is constantly cheating bad or dangerous circumstances? It's something, and it could definitely be interesting played out if that's the direction they're planning on going with this.

There are also plenty of other fun moments and little easter eggs for fans, so either way, we do get something fun. I would honestly be over the moon if they did something for all of the Nightmare Run toons though. Gaskette is a good nod, and Riley's backstory intrigues me given the circumstances, and especially the apparent involvement with GENT. Kinda makes me wonder if they're, in a sense, keeping tabs on people who were associated with JDS, people who maybe would have some stronger ties to the art being produced there and potentially have a bigger reaction when the ink is used on them.

It's something to think about, for sure. If anything, I'll enjoy using these puzzle pieces in my own work.

[googleitlol]

Hi! I’m SO sorry for blowing up your inbox lol- but I’m thinking about those song covers I wanna do and wanna lean into flowers meanings since I think they’re supposed to be a big part of PoM? Or maybe it was just that arc, idk.

But yeah I’m currently thinking about what flowers I should add for which song lmao. For I won’t say I’m in love I’m thinking of Dove with a black rose? Which means forbidden love, since I think that’s the main reason why she’s in denial about her feelings. (That’s what I got from all of your answers anyway)

And then there’s songs like Evermore. I love its showcasing of Doves and Wukong’s dynamic and wanted to show Dove leaving the frame with Wukong sitting with flowers that symbolize dove. (“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she runs away”) and I was wondering was flower you think would symbolize dove? I just don’t want to get anything wrong! It’s completely okay if you don’t know though! I don’t want you to feel forced to go down a rabbit hole of flower langue just because of my silly questions.

But if you do by chance know a bit of flower language (I’m just guessing that you do with how much flowers show up, but again, if you don’t, feel free to chuck this ask into the void lmao) do you also know what flower would symbolize Wukong from the perspective of dove? Wanna incorporate that in the Never Knew I Needed one.

Also, (again, SO sorry for ranting, I think I just like talking lmao) for Just The Way You Are I want to show flowers that mean Wukongs love for her. So I’m thinking of a flower (I forgot the name lol) that means protection? Just because that seems like how Wukong shows his love, even when he doesn’t realize his feelings for her. But if you think his love language would be something different, please feel free to tell me!

Okay, I’m sorry for ranting (and all of those typos this probably has) I don’t think I get to talk about all of my self shipping nonsense with a lot of people and I’m just excited lol, feel free to just ignore this!!! <3

Hi! Don't ever apologise abt being in my inbox. I love getting to talk, I'm a certified yapper lol

I love the idea of using flower symbolism! I really wanted to lean into it for the Dovesbane arc (Wolfsbane is another name for monkshood *corny eyebrow wiggling*) because of the connection to Dove's old friend and everything his dad would tell him. But tbh I just love flower language in general, especially how different plants can have different meanings in various cultures. So I'll definitely lean into it more, just not as much as I did in that arc.

A flower I think that would represent Dove well are Althea's (hibiscus syriacus, there's a few flowers that are called similar names), they're also called Rose of Sharon. They're a resilient flower that not only represent love in many places around the world, but also healing.

Also, this. It's quite literally used in a way Dove uses her own powers.

As for symbolising Wukong from Dove's pov? I'd go with marigolds. Not just because they've been nicknamed the herb of the sun (teeheehee) but also because they have a vast range of symbolism to them. They're often associated with life and death (ironic because of Wukong's immortality) but can also represent two things Dove really admires about Wukong: creativity and passion. After all, he is known for both his cunning and impulsiveness.

Flowers to symbolise Wukong's love for Dove? There's a few that come to mind. Anemones can mean a whole lot of things based on their colour, like protection, anticipation, and love. I also think about carnations when it comes to their love as well, but more specifically pale red carnations. Not pink, and even though red itself represents affection and a deep love, pale red carnations are given to others as a way to say, "My heart aches for you" which is just 🥺

As a little bonus, I'll also throw in the acacia blossom. They often represent concealed love, which I think sums up Dove and Wukong for a chunk of their story. Even when Dove does realise her feelings, she has this huge crisis and struggles with her emotions. Some days she may feel like giving into them, other days she wishes those feelings didn't exist at all and tries to hide them as best she can. Girl really just needs to accept the fact that she loves him already 🙄

[yurisorcerer]

I've compared Jellyfish to other anime *a lot* while writing these off-the-cuff Thoughts posts, but to pull from an otherwise very different series, the ending here almost reminds me of that of Witch From Mercury? Decidedly good, and definitely fine-tuned to make you feel happy that our main pair are back together, but with just enough that doesn't quite add up that I feel remiss not to mention it.

To be clear, if the series' representational efforts outlive the actual text of the show itself, as may well happen, that's not actually a bad thing. Most anime would be lucky to have that legacy.

I want to zero in on Kano during the concert though, where we're early in the episode and she's clearly nervous. Flashbacks, intrusive-thoughts-as-voiceover. The literally-faceless masses. This is imagery we've seen associated with her before, as she's clearly reliving her trauma from her days with the Sunflower Dolls.

We see her basically bomb; the backing track kicks in but she can't sing, and suddenly the sound cuts out entirely, putting her in the bottom of the ocean. Mero, surprisingly, is the one who calls out to her to egg her on, although it's Mahiru's jellyfish that she looks at as Mahiru calls out to her as well. We get our big, swelling concert song, and then the moment is over. Jellyfish's narrative ends the second the music dies.

A mirror of the first episode as the two meet again for the first time in a while after Kano's performance. Ultimately, the conclusion they come to is that they kept their promises to each other, so everything's basically fine. This is clearly to some extent what the show wants us collectively to think, as well. Kano as the aimless singer who's finally found something to sing for, Mahiru as the ever down-on-herself visual artist who's found someone inspired by her paintings.

Kano says she wants to be a reason for people to keep looking forward, an interesting thought.

In the Sunflower Dolls / JELEE show's credit roll, Kano is credited under her preferred name. Yukine seems to mean this as---and certainly the show wants us to take it as---a gesture that Yukine, despite her past treatment of her daughter, respects her now. (An analogy is also drawn between the virtual audience the show draws and the 50,000 person capacity of the Tokyo Dome. Originally referred to several episodes ago, having one of her artists sing there was a long-term goal of Yukine's.) Clearly, not all is forgiven, as Kano playfully spurns her mother in the finale's closing minutes. Still, something about this feels…a little wishy-washy in a way I can't entirely put my finger on. It's a good ending, maybe the best ending this iteration of the series could've had, but not a great one. There's a distinction there, and this is the sort of show that practically begs rumination on distinctions of that nature. Yukine herself says, and I quote directly, "The difference between buzz and backlash ultimately hinges on an idea being meaningful." *Are* Jellyfish's ideas meaningful? I think that's an open question. Despite everything---Kano's trauma, the falling out with Mahiru and Mahiru's own impostor syndrome, the show's own strange pacing, Kiwi being bullied for their gender expression and for being "weird", the discrimination Mei faced---this ends as a feelgood story. That may be a bit too neat for me, I'm not sure.

I hate to bring up That Other Music Anime Airing Right Now while writing about this one yet again, but the main distinction between the two, I've finally realized, is that Girls Band Cry's emotional material feels much more raw. Jellyfish's best episodes do as well, but the show *on the whole* feels like it can't quite thread the needle in the same way. The comparison is perhaps unflattering to both anime, but I can't help myself here.

The series ends on a short run-through of denouement scenes, for the individual members of JELEE both apart and together as a group. Tellingly, it might be Kiwi's that works the best. The relatively straightforward nature of her arc makes her development feel the most earned and the most logical. At the same time, I'm having difficulty pinning down exactly *why* I don't feel quite the same way about the other characters. Perhaps because Mei was never particularly well-developed to begin with, and Kano and Mahiru's reunion feels....I'll say contrived? I can forgive letting a kiss on the cheek hang for six episodes. Letting that falling-out hang for, what, 3? Is a bit harder to stomach though. The entire plot there, I don't know, it takes away a bit from what the show is trying to do, and when what you're trying to do is this delicate, "a bit" can feel like a lot.

Anyway; The over-painting scenes being drawn as though they're shot through the phone is a cool touch, I like it.

What Jellyfish does manage to capture is the warm mundanities of friendship and life in the digital age, and I like Kano's little speech to the others at the end here. That's worth something, I think. Not many anime end with their casts literally waving goodbye to the camera.

Time, as my memories of the show crystalize and harden, will tell whether I end up truly feeling that those warm feelings are "enough" to rate Jellyfish particularly highly, both on its own terms and as compared to other anime that have come and gone (and will come and go) this year. But that's also sort of a way of looking at art that is ruthless enough to not always be appropriate. So I'll say it here if I never remember to again, the people who made this clearly cared about it a lot. There's love in it, and love does matter.

[spacey-llama]

How did u get into just dance 👀👀

haha why thank you for opening the can of worms

Proper punctuation for this one, it’s long. Seriously. I’m basically putting my whole history with the Just Dance franchise in one post.

So, I got into Just Dance in kindergarten when my music teacher put on Cotton Eye Joe from Just Dance 1 as a fun little exercise thing.

However, I didn’t get deep into it until I started having sleepovers basically every weekend with my best friend at the time, and she introduced me to Just Dance 4 on her Xbox 360 (she also introduced me to Minecraft, but that’s a different story). We weren’t allowed to play Crucified or Disturbia, but every other song was on the menu. It was cool!

The funny thing is, I don’t think I’ve ever been a good dancer. I was just enamored by the colorful characters and the delicious songs. Most of my music taste comes from Just Dance soundtracks!

I didn’t have a console of my own until YEARS later, so I would look up the choreos on YouTube and follow along w/ them. Throughout the years at school, teachers would also put on choreos as fun little things! I still associate Moskau from JD 2014 with 3rd grade gym class.

Small tangent, I was moving states when they started putting Just Dance 2014 ads on TV. So, I really associate that game with these two weeks I was staying in a hotel before my parents could find an apartment. Troublemaker is a choreo I specifically remember seeing on TV.

When I got a Wii U, I got Just Dance 3 and 4 with it. Later on, I would acquire all the games (except for 1, 2, and 2014) up until 2017. Dude, I played them all the time. The YEARS I spent fixated on those games was insane. Most of my friends didn’t like them, so I didn’t have many people to play with, but it was fine. Also, I would literally point out any song playing on the radio and be like “Thats on Just Dance (insert game here).” I still do that.

Oh, and the first song I got 5 stars on was Me And My Broken Heart on JD 2015! It’s still one of my favorite choreos ;)

AND THEN! My Wii U broke! And instead of trying to find a place to fix it, my brother elected to SMASH IT IN THE BACKYARD WITH A HAMMER!

So I didn’t play much Just Dance after that. I still have all my old game discs, though. And I’d play it with friends at their houses if given the opportunity. Unrelated, but I’m also very unfamiliar with any game that came out after JD 2017 (sans 2023 and 2024) because of The Hammer Incident.

“Oh, gee, Spacey, this is so crazy, how’d the fixation grab you again?” Glad you asked! See, I started seeing edits of the Just Dance 2023 storymode and I went “LORE???? CHARACTERS?????? THEY HAVE NAMES NOW?????? AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

And I immediately watched the story stuff on YouTube and fell in LOVE! I like the silly little cast! The songs they use in the story modes aren’t my faves, but the CHARACTERS and LORE are what I am here for.

So. Yeah. Then I got 2024 for my Switch (not smashed by hammers) as well as Just Dance+ and I’ve been on that grind ever since. It’s one of those games that I find most people tend to like. It connects people. I’ve kept foreign exchange students at my house, and we wouldn’t be able to hold a long conversation, but we could play Just Dance together. There’s a comfort in that. I could wax poetic on the beauty of Just Dance and its ability to bring people together, but I won’t.

Also, while I do adore the main cast of 2023/2024, I’ve kind of started to take older characters and give them names, personalities, and stories myself! So if you’re going to follow this blog or anything, expect a lot of that.

TLDR: Kindergarten bestie introduced me to Just Dance, was crazy about it for years, it faded into the back of my mind, the 2023 lore got me back into it.

Thank you for the ask! I love yapping!

[ouroboros-hideout]

Project Garmr

This is just a wild list of ideas I had after finishing Phantom Liberty and beeing slightly dissapointed how they treated Kurt Hansen as a character.

- Spoilers ahead -

First of all: I love PL but I think it has its weaknesses. But that's for another post.

I am manly dissapointed, that he was introduced as the main antagonist (Myers is the actual villian if you ask me) but got very little screentime or impact on your choices or story imo. He was there, the quests involving him where epic but in the end he just got low to medium depth lore and an unspectacular death. I could rant about the problems I have with the fight (gameplay was sick but the story was meh) or the not-fight if Alex is taking care of him. But that's for another post aswell.

I just want to write down some ideas and headcanons about how things could have turned out differently, if he didn't die.

- I'll give it to V or Alex, that they're actually able to defeat him

- But he'll survive the attack, badly wounded but alive

- He'll then recover in the hospital, maybe getting new chrome to compensate the injuries

If you leave Hansen alive after the fight, you'll later get informed by Mr. Hands that he was assassinated in the hospital.

But what if that's not true. What if Kurt faked his death and spread this missinformation. By placing a body double at his funeral and asigning Bennett and Jago to give the public some drama to make his disguise waterproof but secretly still pulling the strings in the back.

Why? Because it's an opportunity. An opportunity for revenge. Playing hide and seek spygames against the spies and government, who got him into this situation in the first place.

He failed to kill or capture Myers and that's grinding his gears. The grudge he's holding against her is becoming unberable. After Song and the agents of the FIA screwed him over he's more than done fucking around with the marionetts and wants to start a last attempt to kill the puppet master.

He basically wants Myers head on a silver plate.

- This top secret plan is communicted as 'Project Garmr' within the structures of Barghest and Dogtown

- only Kurts most trusted associates know about his plans and that he is still alive

- the risk of someone spilling the tea in the lower ranks of Barghest are to high

- means he needs to get along without the manpower of his militia. At least in the beginning

- in addition to that he doesn't want that his smuggling business or Dogtown in general gets involved too far

- he worked to hard and is proud of his achivements to throw everything into the trash for his personal revenge

- he reaches out to his contacts all over the world, asking around who'd profit from the death of Mrs. President and shifting powers

- all or most of it undercover, so his disguise stays in tact

- building kind of an army

- the course and outcome of this plan would highly depend on the people or organisations Kurt's siding with

-  because after all he wants Myers dead  and in the best case replace her with someone in his favor

- could mean he's 'accidentally' starting the next war or does it in a more discrete manner

- it would suit his character if he used all his wits, instead of just sending some missels to her face. He would not make this mistake again

If this would evolve into a legit fanfic or what ever there are a lot of possibilities to give the Colonel additional lore and depth. For example:

- Meeting people of his past, friends, lovers or enemies alike

- Showing different sides of him (vulnerability because of a trauma or cyberpsychosis or smth like that)

- more of his top tier interrogation skills

- knife fights! Oh yeah

Yeah that's it. For now. A big 'What If'. Don't know, really like the idea somehow. All of it is a WIP that I came up with in the middle of the night but I would like to make it a little project in some way. Even though Kurt didn't had the impact I'd hoped for in the game, he managed to get into the top 3 of my fav chars within the blink of an eye lol.

Side note: Garmr is a dog/wolf mentioned in norse mythologie (who has a lot in common with Fenrir, who is probably more popular). He's described as a fucking huge, blood-stained dog caught in chains, guarding Hel's gate, the door to the underworld. He is ascociated with the beginning of Ragnarök, the final battle between beasts and gods. Once he breaks free from his chains, he's ultimately responsible for plunging the world into chaos.

Think that's an appropriate name Kurt would choose. He's a mythology nerd lol.

Bark. Bark.

[rachthepoet]

Watermelon Sugar Analysis

It's the month of June, and her peak season, perfectly ripe for exquisite tasting and ecstasy. Naturally, this song gets residency in my mind once the sun radiates warmth back down to the earth and all colors grow in saturation. Sadly though, this song remains vastly underappreciated, though one of his most popular. Ain't that just a crying shame? Because Watermelon Sugar is sharing fruit-laced kisses with a lover, breathing in each other's lips, a silent communication that neither wants to be the one to leave first. Lips went suckling strawberry red, and all one could hear is song. Thoughts spinning like sweet, sweet sugar. Tasty imagery leans into double entendres in this song of visceral want.

Here's a deep dive into Harry Styles' Watermelon Sugar, from a poet. And, no, it's not about the fruit. (And, I beg of you, block Urban Dictionary from your consciousness before it wrecks indisputable and irreversible damage).

Richard Brautigan

The song title is undoubtedly pulled from Richard Brautigan's In Watermelon Sugar, a surrealist science fiction book put out to print in June of 1968. 60's influences are a reoccurrence in the sophomore album. End of June, too, btw. Throughout this book, there's this concept of ego death, a psychedelic experience where one achieves a sense of selflessness and oneness with the universe. The main character in Brautigan's story resides in the iDeath (ego death) commune where they farm watermelons — watermelons that vary based on the color of the sun that day of the week.

"We have an interesting thing with the sun here. It shines a different color every day. No one knows why this is, not even Charley. We grow the watermelons in different colors the best we can. [...] It is really very simple. The colors of the days and the watermelons go like this — Monday: red watermelons. Tuesday: golden watermelons. Wednesday: gray watermelons. Thursday: black, soundless watermelons. Friday: white watermelons. Saturday: blue watermelons. Sunday: brown watermelons."

How intriguing, yes? Brautigan's good at capturing the surreal, something I've noticed in my own deep dive of his works. But I digress. The term in watermelon sugar is used repeatedly within the story, but all seem to circle back to the representation of the ephemeral nature of pleasure. And, told with the repetition found in varying contexts, this pleasure can be discovered in many things once you achieve harmony alluded within ego death.

"Watermelon sugar is not just a flavor, it's a way of life."

Now, I feel you. I can sense it. You're staring back at me right through these textboxes, wondering where the hell I must be going with all of this surrealistic philosophical chitter chatter, wondering if you got tricked into a book report. I'm getting somewhere, I promise you.

My theory is that Harry pulled this association between watermelon sugar and pleasure from Brautigan, and utilized it in order to describe his own experiences with captivating sensuality and desire. But also the pleasure of losing one's self to love, which ties back to the phenomenon of ego death, but also fits right within the narrative arc of his sophomore album thematically. Much of Fine Line explores the interwoven nature of love, sense of self, and the stages of grief. In songs like Cherry, he explores the detriment to losing your sense of self in sacrifice to love. But, in Watermelon Sugar, he explores the pleasure of losing your sense of self in sacrifice to love, or rather lust and sensuality. There's this all-consuming nature wading under every song of the album, and this sensory-rich song is no exception.

There's no sense trying to dismiss the erotic connotation the song has, as it's hard to ignore. But, with the addition of Brautigan, we flesh it out in nuance. To understand that in Watermelon Sugar, all boundaries have dissolved as everything melts into the other like sugar melts on the tongue with ripe watermelon juice. The boundaries between himself and his lover and the universe have combined. The boundaries between what a strawberry is and what sex is. So on and so forth. Creating an enthralling experience in surrealism that goes beyond just a simple euphemism for sex.

"In watermelon sugar, the past and the present merged into a single, timeless moment."

To conclude the Brautigan discussion, I'll pull some favorite quotes from the novel, ones I've annotated frantically myself, that apply to the song. Just so it's solidified in your mind before the lyric pull apart.

"In watermelon sugar" is emphasized as a metaphor that can transcend, merging past and present to an eternal instant, any sense of separation lost. In this idyllic and psychedelic post-apocalyptic world Brautigan painted, all exist in a perpetual tapestry of harmony and interconnectedness, and lines get blurred. Between feelings, between experiences, and between the division of time itself.

"She was a watermelon sugar girl, pure and sweet, like the taste of summer."

This description of one of the characters, interwoven with the known metaphor, exudes charm like the exciting taste of summer, one that evokes memories of warmth and succulence. Much like the song does, if I might interject. The character invigorates those around her with radiance, much like a fresh watermelon on a warm sunny day satisfying all the senses at once. One sentence paints an indelible impression, and I find this parallels.

"She tasted like watermelon sugar, sweet and addictive, leaving me longing for more."

I just wanna taste it. One of my weaknesses is when writers draw on sensory imagery to depict something alluring, and right now we're in the thick of it. The comparison drawn between the woman and the established watermelon sugar metaphor for pleasure pushes forward the idea of bewitching attraction and oh-so-mesmerizing sweetness. And the notion of addiction pushes it even further, as one encounter leaves the protagonist yearning for more, eternizing a desire that will be difficult to thoroughly satiate — delving into the complexities lying in the natural human desire for pleasure.

Lyric Pull Apart

[VERSE 1] Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening And it sounds just like a song

Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening: Hey, tell me, have you admired a strawberry today? I mean it. They are some of the prettiest fruits nature could've graced us with. Red and naturally heart-shaped, creating the perfect symbol for passion and love. And, a strawberry itself is succulent and soft and juicy when biting into it, an irresistible indulgent treat to yourself. God, I could go for a strawberry from my garden right now. It all aids to the connotations of sensuality. Sweet yet tangy, alluring and intoxicating.

Therefore, to say that someone or something or somewhere — maybe a grand combination of all — tastes like strawberries comes off the highest compliment. Add in the summer evening, and the narrowing down to June to come, and we find ourselves investigating June-bearing strawberries. Yes, they're a thing indeed.

As the name implies, these strawberry plants bear fruit and are harvested in June, with a very short growth period — setting their buds when days are short, and fruit bears when days warm and lengthen. They produce a larger harvest than other variations of the strawberry plant, and the berries are intensely flavorful.

I don't know. Just find it a bit interesting, you know. That the strawberries bore in June (even with harvests centered around the end of June) are the most flavorful and decadent. Which, you know, feels kinda reminiscent of the decadence of watermelon sugar. What can I say? I love playing around with things.

And it sounds just like a song: Whenever he speaks of music within a piece of his own music, I assume he's referring to his own song. Yeah? It sounds just like which song? Well, honey, this one's got to be high in the contenders. And with the music's brass-infused spirit, it definitely captures this sense of joy and pleasure. The music that he's hearing in the back of his mind, even.

[VERSE 1] I want more berries and that summer feelin' It's so wonderful and warm

I want more berries and that summer feelin': Continuing on from my personification of the strawberry, he admits his craving for more. There's a desire to hold onto this feeling, this euphoria, experienced with a singular taste. He wants more passion, more succulence, more abundance. And this sets the table for the progression into the second verse to come.

It's so wonderful and warm: In this line, and in the first verse itself, we have this intention framing of summer radiance, with summer as an ultimate metaphor. A metaphor for infatuation and beauty, but also a time of prosperity and jubilance. To Harry, I believe, summer's synonymous with a feeling of abundance, and his feeling toward the song's subject mirrors that. The listener is set in the mindset of abundant affection and what almost seems like a prayer to the subject, a praise to them for how euphoric he's feeling. How they make him feel like he's always in a warm summer with a full basket of harvested fruits to quench his thirst and cravings, no matter how broad that need for satiation extends.

[PRE-CHORUS] Breathe me in, breathe me out I don't know if I could ever go without

Breathe me in, breathe me out: The first association that popped into my head was meditation, something Harry has been vocal about before, so I guess it's not that far of a stretch. Plus, meditation ties to mindfulness, and mindfulness ties to savoring the present moment — therefore, he wants to truly savor the feeling of his succulence right now.

But, yes, of course! there's also the more sensual option, I could never forget. I think of an intimate moment between two, barely any distance between them, and as they inhale and exhale, it's like taking each other in. It's like another way to frame intimacy, and I find that to melt me like a chocolate bar in summer. Maybe to dip those June-bearing strawberries in. Anyway!

I don't know if I could ever go without: A big theme in this song is desire, now with an added admittance of not knowing if he could go on without. An addiction motif, a motif that can also be seen as a loss of sense of self, which ties back into the ego death concept. He doesn't know if he can experience the unpleasant withdrawal from this addictive summer feeling — he doesn't want to go without it, for he knows he'll be even more desperate to get it back.

Once again, we’re met with desire, with an added admittance of not knowing if he could go on without. He doesn’t know if he can experience withdrawal from this addictive summer feeling – he doesn’t want to go without it, for he knows he’ll be even more desperate to get it back. Surpassing the desperate desire laid out in the moment. 

[PRE-CHORUS] I'm just thinking out loud I don't know if I could ever go without

I don't know how to quite explain this thing that's done within Harry's lyricism, but I've got this fascination with it. It makes his songs more conversational, the use of words like just. How he admits straight in the song that he's thinking about the subject or writing about the subject. Like, baby, we know! And we love you for it!

Then, the last line of the pre-chorus is a line repeated, one that shows the addictive nature of this watermelon sugar phenomenon. And, one thing about me, I will assume that repetition is intentional, and push that repetition is a device utilized, not a weak point. This loss of self, melting away into the other, fuels the hunger felt due to desire and sensuality that lingers in all lyrics of the song.

[CHORUS] Watermelon sugar high! (x4) Watermelon sugar!

For the chorus, we pull back in the Brautigan context — watermelon sugar is synonymous with pleasure, and that meaning carries over to the extended variation of watermelon sugar high as well. Each reiteration of this chorus relishes in a burst of euphoria and joy, and, though the repetition is often criticized, I believe it to be used to an advantage. It only emphasizes this overwhelming feeling. Nothing else can enter his mind outside of this summer feeling — and, nothing else matters in this idyllic vision created. If anything, the repetition of the same phrase aids in the song's experience.

And, do you know what the other complementary choice is to this song? One that I feel isn't talked about enough? The instrumentals — but, specifically, the horns, which can be heard in the choruses and prominently at the end. A bursting of horns. An explosion of euphoria and joy. The horns used this way are an important seed to plant, because they're used with the same symbolism later in the sophomore album. (Spoiler alert: It's in the final track.)

[VERSE 2] Strawberries on a summer evenin' Baby, you're the end of June

Ah, our beautiful strawberries reappear, paired with the summer metaphor still, and back to the June-bearing strawberries coming to mind. Most popular, harvested at the end of June and a favorite because of the intense flavor profile during this sweet spot of a month. Anyway, the end of June (in the Northern Hemisphere) marks the middle of summer, calming and soothing with the sun shining for the day's majority. And he feels the song's subject has a comparable effect on him.

As he sings Baby, you're the end of June, I take it as a moment of excitement — in detail, the type felt at initial infatuation and attraction, building a companionship at the early level. Maybe daydreaming, peeking into the future where one can only see bright smiles and warm hugs. A honeymoon phase, you could say, like a perfect summer's day.

[VERSE 2] I want your belly and that summer feelin' Getting washed away in you

I want your belly and that summer feelin': One of the most attractive things you can say to a person is I want you, for it's simple, direct, and undeniably effective. But this song gives a bit of a spin on this, phrasing it as I want your belly. I want the most intimate, the most vulnerable, the softest parts of you — and I want to taste them, I want to devour them. And, this second verse, alongside pretty much everything in this song, lands on the ears so easily — and direct, and confident. He's not questioning his desire, he's unapologetic for his hunger for the subject of his desire (and, whew, that's kinda hot).

Getting washed away in you: Could you have guessed? Here's come Brautigan again. Ego death. Losing your sense of self to love, sensuality, and desire. All the boundaries dissolved like sugar on the tongue, whether it's boundaries heard and seen in his words, or boundaries between him and the person doused in all his affection. He's losing himself to his desire, as he'll always go all in or nothing. Harry, the fool in love.

[REPETITION OF PRE-CHORUS AND CHORUS]

[BRIDGE] Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin' And it sounds just like a song I want your belly and that summer feelin' I don't know if I could ever go without

The bridge is a perfect mix of the two verses that precede it, which creates an exquisite flow. The first two lines pull from the first, the third line from the second, and the last line pulls from the pre-chorus. I really love it when songs do this, as it feels cohesive to the ear. Plus, it puts further emphasis on this euphoric feeling, as we encounter the device of repetition again. Again, repetition is not a weakness, but rather a strength when utilized correctly, and I get so tired seeing people not quite grasp that concept.

In this song, we are witnesses to an explosion of euphoria, of pleasure, of washing yourself (losing yourself) away in another, of not being able to survive without the sweetness of quote-en-quote watermelon sugar. The use of repetition only aids in this and helps illustrate the consuming nature of it all on a grander scale. As if nothing else can infiltrate the mind, for all senses and all emotions are completely submerged.

[OUTRO] I just wanna taste it, I just wanna taste it Watermelon sugar high! I just wanna taste it, I just wanna taste it Watermelon sugar high! Watermelon sugar!

My goodness, here's some repetition again — a repetition of repetition, if you will. More all-consuming ecstasy and desire. The addictive nature of this watermelon sugar high, in these exclamations. Begging for a taste, eternizing a desire that will never be truly satiate, just one of the complexities in the natural human ache for pleasure.

In conclusion, Watermelon Sugar is a song riddled with joy, painting a summery picture of the euphoric pleasure-filled feeling experienced when meeting someone you're very keen on. Someone who excites you. And I think that's why this song has grabbed many people's hearts — for it's an experience that one has either been in the midst of or one that creates an aching to be consumed by. And, it definitely deserved to be his first Grammy win. I sincerely hope people stop doing this song a disservice. Writing off a song as bad just because it's gotten traction, because it got popular, is a disrespect to the artist. For this song is way more than just an elaborate euphemism for sex — though yes, the erotic connotations are hard to ignore — and the added nuance flies under the radar.

But, baby, that's why I'm here, calling out to you, trying to get you to see the fleshed-out ecstasy of a Watermelon Sugar High. Now, go hit play on that song of the summer. And cut yourself some fresh watermelon and strawberries to balance on your tongue. 🍉🍓

Thank you for reading, you're absolutely incredible! If there are any songs you'd like me to make an analysis of, please send your request to my inbox! Along with any questions or insights you might have yourself!

[bolinity]

number 14, 16, 19 for the questions! :)

❖ || ♡ Munday Meme ♡

14. Who is an author that inspires you?

aaaa i feel so bad about not having an answer about this one because i haven't read something in, like... forever. i mean currently i'm working on 3 different books VERY VERY SLOWLY — all of them queer (which is the main reason why i'm reading them) — which is the first time in a long ass time that i'm sitting and reading an actual book wheeze. uhhh but thinking back, not even growing up was i like "oh i love how this particular author writes things i want to write like this too" and was more so fixated on the story itself instead of the writing style i guess?

if anything i know i can't say bryke because they're shit at writing romance lmao

16. Favourite trope?

answered here but i can offer more! otp healing — love a good pairing where someone gets hurt and the other person is bandaging them up and they're having a talk about it, maybe about each other – it doesn't have to be like a YOU'RE SO STUPID WHY'D YOU GET HURT CAN'T YOU SEE I CARE ABOUT YOU kind of talk though. i like softer things personally lol

19. Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

mmmm not usually. if i am listening to music, it's only if i wanted to listening to something to get in the mood, like i have some of the songs from my #bo soundtrack tag in a spotify playlist, which is mostly jazzy-sounding songs or fun love songs and since it has the same jazzy mood i associate with lok i use it for wu too, but that usually happens before actually writing because I can't make words happen if songs have lyrics. maybe i'll put on an instrumental jazz staton on pandora/spotify, but it happens pretty rarely.

[simlit]

ALL OF THEM FOR EIF YA BITCH

first of all, how rude.

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

His resilience. Eifra is constantly seen as an easy target, and physically, he's not particularly strong, but he's endured a lot and has the ability to bounce back from just about anything.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

His kindness. It's the one thing he's most taken advantage for. He's aware of it, and people constantly warn him, but I don't think even he would choose to be different.

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

All of the above lmao. Depends on the threat. He does naturally frighten easily, but he's also a very seasoned hunter. Even if he's afraid, he has the ability to temper his nerves to withstand a fight, but if he knows it's a fight he'll lose, he'll happily flee.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Eif would never endanger others, but he would put himself through a world of pain if he thought it would help someone he loves. Again, all depends on the context.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Not... easily. He would have to be put in a very precarious position, to know it was his only option, or if someone's life depended on it. But he's also not so much of a goodie two shoes that his moral compass is swung so far to one side.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Ah, this is a fun question. I think I mentioned before I actually intended for Eifra's PoV to only exist as an introduction to Zeh's. But instead he became pretty much the defacto protagonist and narrator for the sequel. I didn't expect to love Eifra as much as I did, and I got attached to him, both as a writer, but also through Zehel. In the same way that I fell in love with Yeryn's romance, Zehel and Eifra's relationship *is* the main dynamic of Arcaen'vel. Eifra is Zehel's crux. He's his driving force and he pushes both the plot and Zehel's character development forward. I went in thinking Zehel would be the main character in what I thought was his own story, but Eifra really had another plan (though I'm sure if I explained it that way to him, he'd disagree and hold Zeh's pedestal that much higher lmao). The two share the spotlight in different ways. But if you asked me like three years ago if I thought the successor to Yeryn's line would be some random hybrid kiddo I'd have slapped your face.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

NO lmfao. Eifra would never just commit murder. But he certainly wouldn't have the braincells to get out of it if he did.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Yes! Zehel's theme for Eifra is "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay, and I can literally not listen to this song without thinking of him. "Cuz you get lighter the more it gets dark, I'm gonna give you my heart."

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Tbh, I think Eif would work in any AU, but I'll have to choose the most boring and say I'd love to see him in a modern storyline with Zeh. Just because Eifra adapts so well to our timeline.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Bow and arrow. He can hunt well regardless, but his arrows are also the only way he can channel dragonfire. It's the only defense he has, not having been born with arcane magic.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

Yes, and no. I think he sometimes gives too much of himself away, but I wouldn't say he's actively tearing himself down. But he'd be willing to let people walk all over him if it'd make them happy and that's not a particularly healthy way to live, either.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Probably LOL. I mean he's a much MUCH better person than me, but his self-deprecating humor is so relatable. He's a really uplifting person, which is actually the type of person I most enjoy being around, but he does lack the petty shittalk side I require my friendships to have so that I may thrive lmao.

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

I don't think he much cares how other perceive him, but I think he'd like his friends to see him as reliable. Someone that can be depended on, even when things get difficult.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

We all know I don't do real human face claims, but I do have an artwork I pinned ages ago that encapsulates his vibes down to his stature and dress style, the only thing off about it is the hair, otherwise really spot on: here.

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Surprisingly high. Eifra has been through... shit. And he's conditioned himself for things most people have never had to. He's been forced to survive most of his life, and I think that gives someone a lot of internal strength. He also has an incredibly good hold of his mental. In a situation where he knew he'd have to endure something to save someone, he wouldn't even miss a beat.

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

He's very personable, but honestly he understands people wanting space. He gets attached to Zehel so easily because he feels like he owes him his life (he kind of does lmao), so it's a bit of specific situation. Normally, Eifra is the type to only approach if asked, but he'd always be able to reply. He's incredibly charismatic.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

I think Eifra has only been truly angry a handful of times in his life. Only once severe enough to have some physical repercussion. Usually he lets things slide off him, and doesn't get caught up on negative feelings.

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Unsurprisingly not at all lmao.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Neither, but I suppose in the context of their world, he's sort of "broken". He's half elf, half dragon, but he was born magicless, and his wings never developed properly. He's also not able to shift into dragonform, which is usually something that gets bred out over many generations. As he's a "first generation" mix, this is exceedingly odd. He's the only known halflyn to have one dragon parent and not be able to shapeshift.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Lawful/Neutral Good

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Desire. Eifra has an incredibly difficult time asking for anything, even if he needs those things to actually survive. He feels embarrassed and burdensome to ask favors of others, and hates to be indebted to them. He constantly sees himself as a weight holding back his friends, and would rather starve than to ask for money for food or anything similar.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

His tenacity. Eifra is such a hard person to keep down, and even though I find these people really annoying irl, I think in stories, juxtaposed characters like Zeh, they become so much more likeable, and important. I think Eifra has a lot of qualities I gravitate to, but being in Zehel's head for almost four-hundred pages, my love and violent need to throw my life on line to protect Eif at all costs is so deeply engrained in me LOL. Zehel really following in Daddy's footsteps by being the world's second biggest simp, only in his case it exists within a platonic friendship, and honestly, I think it's the most fitting storyline I could have written for him.

[seeyouonsaturn]

Hello! I've recentlyl found your blog and it's made me so nostalgic. You've managed to find fanart that I thought was lost to time. I was in love with prowl back in 2009 and these days he's a platonic f/o! I ship to optimus and bulkhead now! I'd very much like to hear about your oc! (selfshipping-haven)

AW THANK YOU!! God yeah he was my first real love tbh. I'd had little baby crushes before but Prowl unlocked things in me I didn't even know I had when I discovered TFA in 2011. I didn't even really speak English back then, I didn't understand half of what those guys were even saying but he was everything to me.

I haven't thought about transformers in over a decade until I recently made a new friend who's a fan, and at some point TFA came up and I sort of mentioned that I used to be in love with Prowl, so then one thing led to another and I looked him up just for nostalgia and oh. I remember him. We were in love. Turns out those feelings never left. So here I am.

Thinking back now I realized that there's a lot of things about my personality/me as a person that connect back to Prowl, because kid me wanted to be more like him, and I did, but I completely forgot where it all started. I do love that I succeeded to grow into a person he would like, it means so much to me. Coming back to TFA honestly feels like coming home. Returning to my roots.

Anyway, excuse the autistic rambling <3 I much appreciate this ask, it means a lot that someone actually cares enough to ask!! Looking at your blog though, I don't think you'd like Trixie very much, since her ship/story is pretty fucked up lmao.

I have two OCs I ship with Prowl (HEAR ME OUT LOL) mom said i could have two Prowl ships

So. The first one, Ash, I made when I was 13, and they were a very made-by-autistic-child-esque overpowered self-insert. They had a different name and gender back then because I did too but the concept remains sort of the same: Prowl falls in love with a human, all is good for a while, and then there is an accident that results in Ash nearly dying, becoming techno-organic to save their life, and sporting a huge scar. I thought it was awesome, then later decided it was cringe, and now I realized it's actually based af so I revived them. I am cringe but I am free. Ash is great.

Enjoy a preview. Kitty cat. I love cats more than anything and this is a self insert so of COURSE they have kittycat ears!! Probably processor over matter'd them into existence too through sheer willpower. Because they're neat.

But I did have a phase in I think 2019 where I briefly got back into TFA (but not deeply) and wanted a new OC, because I was in a very sad "noooo you can't ever make anything ✨️cringe✨️" phase. Dark times. I don't know why I let people convince me there could ever be harm in my joy. So I scrapped Ash and made a bot OC instead, because the whole humanxbot thing felt too self-indulgent to be allowed. And thus came Bird. (She also had a different name, but I revamped her completely in the past weeks).

I love Bird. She's honestly my main transformers oc. Bird starts out as a decepticon named PHANTOM-2918-4 (aka Phantom), who's tasked to spy on the Autobots, but over time she instead falls in love with Earth's nature and critters and realizes she wants to protect them, not harm them. Prowl decides to take a chance on her and train her (since Yoketron took a chance on him too). She changes her name to Bird because she loves birds most, since they can fly like her, but the ability isn't associated with evil.

Unlike Ash though, Bird x Prowl doesn't have a good ending because in Bird!canon, the finale still happens. She stays behind on Earth alone after everyone else leaves to protect it and honor Prowl's memory, but he's very much gone. She gets Yoketron's helmet. Their ship song is actually what this blog is named after (Saturn from Sleeping at Last).

[zyafics]

Okayyyy, the recent updates are eating, as usual. Thank you for responding to my ask anon about my song reco "Iris" love your response, and I'm happy you see the correlation between Rafe's situation and the song🩷. With the hints about the reasons of why the reader and Rafe brokeup my playlist for hb:l would definitely be full of sad songs after chapter 30+ HAHSHAHHAHAHA.

Since I recommended a song about Rafe's potential pov or feeling during the post-breakup, I might as well recommend the reader's pov during their post-breakup. The song that would fit the reader's post-breakup situation is "Tears Dry On Their Own" by: Amy Winehouse.

"he takes the day"

Another way of saying that, Rafe's, takes the light (daylight) from her life when they decided to breakup. That within the 1st to 2nd weeks of their breakup, the reader's world was all just black and has no light at all to guide her from healing or moving on.

"but i'm grown"

Based on the attitude of the reader in the present timeline, she was atleast able to stand her ground and didn't even bother crawling back to Rafe. The experience(breakup) has matured her and now she can see it all from a different place. She didn't talk about their breakup even though she was given alot of chance to do so during their broadcast. Didn't talk bad about Rafe even though there's alot of hints that he was at fault and thr reason of their breakup, and didn't give the listeners of their broadcast a hint that she wasn't the one at fault but Rafe even if it would lead to her being bullied in atlas and irl (Physical even but our girlboss fought back. AS SHE SHOULD).

She was that strong even if the breakup tore her apart, she stand on her ground and be THAT GIRL. Which is good for her🤌. The rest of the lyrics and the string beat is already self-explanatory. She is the GIRLBOSS.

Additionally: whatever, sof, did I'm sure the song "Wildflower" by: Billie Eilish would fit her and the situation before the breakup happened. The lyrics behind it, and the meaning, it screams "I'm sorry girly, I fvcked up your rs." or "I'm sorry girly, I'm one or main reason behind your breakup."

Anw, I hope you're doing fine and had a great day today. Enjoy the rest of the week and thank you for heart-wrenching and well-written smau and updates🩷. Keep it up, you're doing very well.

-a💋

i'm absolutely loving these analysis with these songs, because this is the type of shit i do when i'm invested in my stories so that means u love hb:l enough to do this!!

and i listen to the song? absolutely correct 100% i'm not even kidding with you, this is exactly reader's response after the breakup. the way it depicts him as someone who "walks away," and how his presence left an effect on her? perfect. the way u r inside my brain i am frightened (but so so extremely proud!!)

lastly, you're actually insane. insane insane insane. because YESTERDAY, when i was coming up with the layout for pt23, i was blasting "wildflower" so loudly because i feel like it best depicted the atmosphere of the scene and when u sent in this inbox, i knew i couldn't answer it UNTIL I POSTED PART 23 THAT'S WHY I WAS SO READY TO!! oh u beautiful mind!!!

again, thank you so so much for submitting this!! i love the music association with the series, and i love how u are able to read through the lines of the series so clearly. i'm doing well, but these next couple of days are going to be rough because i will be studying!!

love u bb 💘