#the song choice with whatever the hell is going on in this pick up game

[starsstillshine]

buck, bothered and bewildered has got everything. josh and maddie queening out over jesse palmer. buck and eddie huffing glue. chimney queening out over the bachelor. inexplicable harry recast from a small child to a teenager. buck intentionally almost breaking eddie’s ankle. racial profiling b plot. bisexual boy kisser evan buckley.

they said oh we got that disney money now 🙂‍↕️ season 7, production to the 10s

[iceandhoney]

Pretty Woman - Part of A Little Warmth

Warnings : Alcohol consumption , suggestive content ( very mild , we are just warming up ) , yandere themes ( again very mild this time around ) , men and minors dni

For once , the thumping in your ears wasn't coming from elevated heart rate or another stress - induced migraine . Whatever basic electropop song was playing wasn't really your taste , but if that was the worst part of the night , could you really complain ? Finals week had been hell , to put it lightly . Rina was right - you needed to get out of the hermit hole you called a dorm room after all of that mind - melting work .

Going pre - law this late into the year was among your top five dumbest life choices . The overwhelming amount of coursework to catch up on had you shutting yourself away to study until daybreak most nights . Your weekends had been nothing but desperate attempts to catch up on sleep and doing enough chores to keep your room below hoarder status . You were very thankful that your friends had been so understanding and hadn't ditched you after weeks of turning down their offers to go out . Rina and Suyeon in particular were always down for group study sessions as a form of hanging out , even though Suyeon had actually started grad school at the start of the year .

You were definitely not a regular sight at any of the clubs popular with your peers , even before your drastic major change . Sure, you wanted to get laid just like everybody else , but the path to getting there in a club never appealed to you . You used to get lucky enough that you didn't think you needed a special venue to help you find a partner .

Of course , that changes when you add six additional credits to your courses in order to catch up to the rest of your year . No respectable law school is going to take an art history major seriously as an applicant .

With two vodka red bulls and something Yoojung called " Pink Drink " at the pre -game that tasted vaguely like cleaning fluids coursing through your veins , the night is already blurring into a haze before your eyes . You can see several of your more attractive classmates in the crowd , but despite how buzzed you already are , you aren't quite drunk enough to endure any embarrassment if they were to dodge your advances . They probably aren't drunk enough either , since everyone outside of the girls who came with you avoids your gaze when you catch them staring .

Except for her .

She is one of the prettiest girls you have ever seen . Her perfect doe eyes are framed by the pitch black waves of her hair . Her pink crop top and tight jeans perfectly suit her model - like figure . The lights of the club briefly reflect off of her pink lipgloss as she gives you a flirtatious smile .

The bumping , writhing crowd seems to almost perfectly part around her as she makes her way over to where you stand . Your legs suddenly feel like lead . Every romantic encounter and successful pick - up line leaves your brain . She's almost glowing in the colored strobe lights as she comes closer .

" Do you wanna dance? " She extends her perfectly manicured hand to you .

You take her hand and she pulls you with her into the crowd . Your nerves have you half - convinced she's just being friendly ; that she sensed your anxiety and is just being nice . You hear one of your friends yell something to you , but you're too focused on your new companion to pay much mind . The girl pulls you in close , her hands sliding behind your neck and onto your bare shoulders . Despite the proximity , you can't really hear what she says to you , so you just nod and follow the way her hips sway . You place your hands on the width of skin between the end of her top and the waist of her jeans . She gives you a grin , closing the remaining distance between your bodies .

It's either been three minutes or three hours since you two started dancing and you honestly couldn't tell the difference . It doesn't occur to you that your friends may be long gone now , having left you to hopefully get laid tonight . Nothing breaks you out of the trance you've been locked in until you feel the chill of the night on your skin . At some point , the two of you ended up outside . The goddess standing in front of you has you pressed to the cold , rough brick of the building's exterior . Her gloss - stained lips are kissing lazy lines on your neck . All you can feel is a growing warmth in your stomach .

The sudden halting of her soft lips on your skin draws you back to reality , as fuzzy as it may still be after a few drinks . Then again , it has been a few hours . Why did you feel so drunk when you haven't had another drink all night . . .

You find yourself surrounded by more women and not in a fun way . They look pissed off , but they seem only interested in your momentary lover . A sick feeling begins to replace the lust that had been growing through the night .

" Yuna , what did we say about taking someone alone tonight ? " A woman with flaming red hair chides .

" And what did we say about using a glamour like that ? You could have caused some serious damage to that girl . " Her ginger friend steps forward , almost putting herself between the two of you .

" I couldn't help it ! " The girl you now know is Yuna exclaims , "You can smell her , right ? What the hell else should I have done ? "

You're not paying attention to the quarrel as you try to quietly slip away . It seems to be between friends or even lovers, and not like it should be your business . You barely take two steps before one of the strangers grabs your arm with surprising strength .

" Oh you're going anywhere just yet . " Her gazes feels almost predatory as she looks you up and down .

" I'm sorry , I really didn't know she was um , already taken , " You offer sheepishly . A few of the other girls giggle .

" She really is right , " The ginger walks up to you and grabs a hold of your chin , forcing you to stare into her . . . red eyes . . . " You'll make a nice treat to have around the house . We haven't had a pet in a while . "

" We can keep her ? " Yuna sounds like she's talking about a stray puppy instead of a whole human being .

" We need to hurry , " The brunette one that had been hanging back most of the encounter finally speaks up , " They're about to do last call in there . "

" Wait ! " You shake your head and desperately try to pull away from the women keeping you in place as Yuna rushes to you , " Please ! I can't -"

She lays her hand on your cheek in an almost caring way as your world goes dark and your body goes limp .

[frickinsleepdeprived]

Interesting First Dates with the Demon Slayer Hashiras

Just wanted to compile a little something else for y'all teehee- (some of these will be more on the modern side than others, all of these headcanons feature pre-established relationships fyi)

......

Text Key:

Normal text: you, the reader

Italicized text: the character in question

......

......

Muichiro

He's an antisocial person, not to mention he's pretty aloof to begin with. So naturally you don't want to make him uncomfortable, and frankly neither does he.

So when you guys are discussing first date ideas, you both didn't want to go with the generic dinner or movie, hell staying in sounded boring also.

"You know what I just thought about Muichiro?"

"Hm? What's up (y/n)?"

"I heard that there's an orchard nearby, and it's open to the public-"

"Say less let's go."

So you guys went, turns out it was an apple orchard. So that means you'll have fresh apples for you both and maybe some of the other hashira.

Once you both returned to headquarters, you both had two baskets each filled to the brim with apples and you didn't know what to do. So you both decided to just make cider out of some, give a basket to the mess hall, save a basket for each of you. And whatever was left you both divided equally among the other hashira.

......

Mitsuri

Mitsuri, obviously, is the love hashira. Love is practically her brand.

So you expected something extremely lavish, like a five star four course dinner or something. Hell maybe she might get some help from Uzui who knows?

But instead, she decided that for your first date, you both are gonna go to a wine/sake tasting.

"Mitsuri where are we going?-"

"You'll see soon enough, I promise!"

So you guys get to the winery and distillery, you looked at her rather confused. What were you both doing here?

But as you went inside, you realized what this was all about.

And Mitsuri was about to put you onto some really good wine and sake?

Say fucking less.

"You liking this so far (y/n)?"

"How come I haven't known about these types of events before? Or what good wine is?"

Needless to say you guys had a really good time, and went home a little tipsy.

......

Obanai

The serpent hashira isn't really one for dates.

Moreover, Obanai didn't believe in them at first simply because he didn't think they were a necessary requirement to court with someone.

However, he noticed that you went to the cemetery dedicated to fallen demon slayers a lot.

He was always curious about it, so he asked if he can accompany you.

But he wouldn't outright say he wants to be with you, he'd probably make up some kind of excuse.

"Obanai it's okay if you just want to be with me when I go, I don't mind."

"W-what're you talking about? I just want to go with you to ensure your safety. There's no telling who can be out there..."

And you can tell he's lying because his face gets red, and his snake hides it's face.

Nevertheless though, he went with you and when he saw you at one of your relatives graves, he couldn't help but feel a little grateful he decided to go with you.

It's something he'll definitely never forget, and afterwards he felt bad not only for lying but also your loss. So you guys decided to explore the rest of the cemetery for the day.

......

Sanemi

Given that he's on the more competitive side, it's only natural that Sanemi would want to make your first date a fun challenge.

What better way to get a fun competitive spirit going on in your relationship with him than video games?

"Soooo what're we playing Sanemi?"

"Uh, well what do you want to play? Your choice not mine I'm indecisive as fuck."

So you picked up an iconic guitar.

Yes, you're gonna play guitar hero.

Sanemi was surprisingly really good... on the easiest difficulty that is.

You on the other hand have been playing this for so long that you can play it on almost max difficulty.

"oh yeah, it's on. You pick the song we're putting that shit on max difficulty."

So you chose a song you knew by heart, whatever that may be

And the way that this man was closed in on the game, it gave you chills.

Needless to say his determination paid off and he won lol.

......

Kyojuro

You guys didn't want to go out but at the same time you didn't want to stick with the generic movie and eventual make out session.

Luckily, in your boredom, you started thinking about all of the art supplies you've accumulated over the years.

Then you remembered something you recently bought.

"Hey Kyojuro I'll be right back, just need to grab something real quick."

"Alright my darling flame, take your time."

So you came back not even five minutes later with a huge pallet of face paints and brushes varying in size. Along with some water in a glass and a paper plate

"Hey Kyo I need you to take off your shirt and tie your hair up for me."

"Um, okay? What do you have plotted my little flame?"

"You'll see, now hold still."

So you painted on his back, seeing as how you didn't have any other canvases available at the time.

And he was really still too, it was truly a testament to his own discipline. Which was pretty strong in your opinion.

"Okay, now don't move... alright you're good, just don't lean back."

You showed him a picture of the landscape you painted on his back, and his jaw just dropped in pure awe.

"You like it?"

"I must say my sunflower, you definitely have quite the artistic expression! Well done beautiful."

"... you wanna try?"

He didn't even hesitate, he had you raise your shirt and he just started painting. You could tell by the strokes he was pretty skilled.

After that he took a photo of what he painted on you and showed you.

"Oh, wow. T-that's beautiful, how come you never told me you painted?"

"Well, I just figured it wasn't necessary, why? Are you that enamored by my artistic skills, my love?"

......

Shinobu

Truth be told, she had a few errands to run for the butterfly estate

You decided to tag along and make it more enjoyable for her, she never really liked going out alone anyways.

"Where are we heading out to?"

"I have to pick up some stuff from the apothecary, who knows, maybe we'll find something we'll both enjoy for later!"

So you guys went in, found everything you needed for the butterfly estate, and ended up picking up some bath bombs for a bath later at night.

"Shinobu, my love my light, that one has glitter in it-"

"Oh don't worry dear, this isn't for us."

"Please don't tell me you plan on glitter bombing Giyuu again-"

She simply smiled, knowing damn well she had not the purest of intentions

Nevertheless you both returned home and put one of the bath bomb to use

It was always relaxing for you guys, after all, you both wouldn't mind just basking in each other's company if the day would allow for it.

......

Tengen

This man... has three wives.

And now that you're in the mix you kinda felt out of place a bit.

Little did you know that you'd be scooped up from training with Obanai that day and taken elsewhere.

"Babe I was training-"

"That's unflashy of you, let's go do something fun. Besides I've already got something aligned."

"I- okay by all means."

Yeah there was really no protesting this one.

He noticed that you've been becoming a little closed off so he decided to take you on a date. Just you and him.

Once you both got to where you needed to be, you noticed it was a dance studio.

"Oh god I'm gonna trip over my own two feet-"

The class entailed lessons in bachata, which is a type of Hispanic dance similar to salsa and rumba.

And knowing you, you didn't have any dance experience, like at all.

However, you know you're a fast learner, and so is Tengen.

And you soon realized that dancing with this hunk of a man you called your boyfriend wasn't so bad after all.

Matter of fact, it was exhilarating knowing that the both of you could be this intimate without ya know, doing the do or even without words.

"You enjoying this at all? Your face is pretty red there."

"I- hush, it's not like yours isn't either."

"Darling, my face is red because I'm sweating. Yours is red because you're embarrassed. I gotcha, don't worry."

And with that said you decided to just let go of any concerns you had. Allowing Tengen to take the lead with the dance.

Overall it was a good time, also really good exercise seeing as how you both kinda nodded off after you got home.

......

Gyomei

Given how he's blind, there are many things that you kinda felt like he missed out on, despite being able to see the transparent world.

However, you knew one thing that brought him comfort was his faith in his religion.

He never really talked about it, but when he did, he'd become so overwhelmed with emotion that he'd just cry.

Which you didn't mind, it's his faith and he's allowed to get as emotional as he needs to.

"(y/n), there's a place I want to show you. Why don't you join me?"

"Oh, okay, lead the way Gyo."

So he takes you to a grand building, one made of gold and beautiful teakwood. The sight taking your breath away as he smiled at you.

"Gyomei, is this the temple you always talk about?"

"Yes, it's a beautiful sight. But there's something in the back I want to show you."

So he takes your hand, greets the monks, and quickly leads you to the back where a beautiful butterfly garden resided. A huge Buddha statue in the middle of a koi pond.

You stood there flabbergasted, how could one small area be so beautiful?

Gyomei motioned for you to sit next to him, which you did, leaning your head on his shoulder as he took this time to pray.

You were never the religious type, but something told you to come here more often. With Gyomei by your side of course.

......

Giyuu

He's rather reserved, kinda like Muichiro however he's willing to interact with people if he has to.

However asking you on your first date with him was so unfathomably hard for him that he had to pull the rizz duo (Kyojuro and Tengen) to help him out.

And boy did they help, well, aside from Tengen picking you up like a sack of potatoes and running to the beach.

But once you got there, Kyojuro told you to close your eyes. Which you did.

And by the time you were set onto the sand you were like "Okay what the fuck is going on more importantly where is my boyfriend?"

"I'm right here, my treasure."

So you open your eyes to see Giyuu, at this point Kyojuro and Tengen were running away giggling like schoolgirls. Your boyfriend's faint smile, however, distracted you from the fact that you were basically kidnapped and taken here.

"Giyuu, are those horses?" You asked, looking at the two beautiful mares that stood before you.

"Yes, they are... I'll admit, Rengoku-san and Uzui-san did have a hand in helping me plan this. But I hope you'll enjoy everything that's in store for tonight. So come on, ride with me for a few."

On the outside, you're stunned.

But on the inside you're jumping up and down with glee, knowing that you'll be able to ride a horse for the first time in a very long time.

And it didn't take long for Giyuu to find out you're a skilled equestrian.

It made him proud though, knowing that you like doing something else other than training all the time.

"I see that someone's enjoying themselves?"

"Yes, I very much am. Thank you Giyuu, this means so much to me."

Afterwards you got off your horses and gave them back to their handler, which Giyuu thanked him immensely.

"So... what now?"

"I figured maybe we could walk along the shoreline? If that's okay with you?"

My GOD this man is flustered beyond comprehension. But through his insecure words, you knew he meant well and what he says, he means wholeheartedly.

You guys walk the shoreline until sundown, then afterwards he treats you to a nice dinner on the beach. Albeit it was small but it was still super intimate and nice.

Truly, you wouldn't rather spend your time any other way. As long as you were with Giyuu, nothing else mattered.

......

OMFG MY BACK HURTS-

Regardless though, I truly hope you all enjoyed these interesting headcanons! Feel free to leave a request!

[jinxedmuse]

let me back in — joshua hong, 홍지수

🎵 i keep thinking, maybe if you let me back in (did i fall out of line when i called you?) we can make it better, breaking every habit. pull myself together, you could watch it happen (when i told you, "i’m fine," you were lied to) let it happen, let it happen.

in which: reader and joshua are in a confusing relationship. a constant tug of war over who can get each other more in love, and more heart broken.

authors note: hii! tysm for the new support ! wish i could hug u all :( it means sm & truly motivates me to keep writing! plz enjoy this angsty one shot i whipped up a few nights ago while missing shua & having this song on loop!! ><

tags/warnings: afab reader x non idol joshua, unhealthy relationship, fwb except they’re barely friends, extremely angsty, mutual pining but they’re both too hurt to realize. mentions of the word sex but no actual smut, just suggestive moments. discussion that may come across as ‘arguing’ but they’re just genuinely learning how to properly communicate for the first time since they met…

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

joshua’s phone rang at exactly 12:00 am on his birthday.

just as a stream of constant messages poured in, wishing him a happy 27th birthday. another added year signifying he was truly growing up, catching up to time.

the number calling was one he hated himself for recognizing. for engraving so deep within his mind that he could practically say it backwards.

he mentally cursed himself more for what he did next; picking up.

“joshuuuuu” the voice sang out, your voice. on the other end, almost fully overtaken by the sound of what seemed like a club in the background along with laughter from your friends.

“this.. this is way out of line.” he begrudged out. it was wrong, so wrong for you to be calling. even worse for him to be entertaining it.

yet, here he was and he felt oh so genuinely content that you remembered his birthday after almost a year with no contact. now listen, in his honorable defense, shua was many things; dumb? wasn’t one of them.

however, when it came to you? his acquaintance, old friend, ex, situationship, fling, lover, whatever the hell you wanted to call it. he was, no, the first step is accountability. he is, way too smitten for you to have anything such as common sense.

“i know. trust me, i know. it’s just old habits die hard, you know?” you slightly slurred with a melancholic tone. as if reminiscing the countless times in your knowing of each other that this almost exact conversation has happened.

“yeah, i know. so.. what is it tonight?” joshua asked. slightly hopeful that you had more in mind then a simple birthday phone call.

“i have something for you, let me come over.”

his heart practically raced out of his chest. he could already imagine a string of thoughts; possible scenarios that could occur. but he had to put on a front, at least try to resist.

even if it was just a bit.

“at what point are we going to have enough of each other? isn’t this tiring?” he asked, feigning an exasperated sigh.

more than anything in this world he wanted this constant cycle to end, but more than anything in the world he wanted you, craved you, just as much.

the question rang in your ears. i mean genuinely, just what were you two still doing? both in your mid to late twenties playing a constant game of back in forth, banter through the pain that left you both feeling lonely for what? the nostalgia of it all?

at what point would this tug of war finally be bearable?

maybe when it ended.

regardless, you ignored his question. refusing to let the buzz of tonight’s choice of alcohol wither away into the depths of such a question.

“is it still the same address birthday boy?”

there was silence. followed by what seemed to be him getting up.

“yes.” he timidly replied. too embarrassed to acknowledge the fact that your grip on him seemed to be getting stronger each year.

“good!” you exclaimed. getting your purse and slinging it onto your shoulder, grabbing a full bottle of sikhye before gesturing to your friends that you were leaving and would call them later.

“why’s that good?” he asked, retreating to lay back down on his couch.

“it’s only like a 20 minute walk from the club i’m at.” you said nonchalantly while double checking your map app.

“no need, i’ll order you a uber. wait out front.” he replies. he then puts you on speaker and starts ordering the ride, wanting the quickest and most comfortable one that would bring you to him.

“why? i’m a fan of walking actually. i picked it up a few months ago. needed something to do to distract myself from you joshu.”

there was a pang in his heart that felt all too real. he hated when you guys weren’t on speaking terms and the fact that you could bring it up all so casually while he had difficulty even whispering your name to recount to his friends what happened this time.

“that’s great, i’m happy for you. but there’s no need to tonight.” and with that, the ride was purchased. uber black, all for you.

“why? a gentleman doesn’t let a lady walk alone? that’s certainly not coming from you i hope.” you mocked bitterly. trying to push away one of the many painful memories you’ve had since your entanglement with joshua.

“you never let me explain my point of view of that night.” he complained. the flash backs still all too real, as if they had happened just yesterday. a feeling of frustration and guilt making home in his heart.

the uber black suv pulled up to the side. a man coming out to open the back seat door for you as you tumbled forward, thanking him quickly. once you’re in, he closes the door and you focus of not getting car sickness as he departs.

there’s a twinge in your stomach that has you patting it gently. you lower your window and stick your head out slightly. the cool air of the night slowly waking you out of your drunken state.

there’s a few minutes of silence before joshua speaks up again.

“hello? y/n? you still there?” he asked, tone laced with worry.

the question made you laugh.

despite all that you two had went through. the unrequited high school love that soon turned to a torturous one. years of pining, unbelievable out burst of arguments, and some passion yet “casual sex” but you both knew all too well there was no such thing as ‘casual’ for you.

regardless, you were still here. on the way to his place at almost 1 am on his birthday.

“yeah. i’m still there.” you replied.

you both always joked that you were probably thriving soul mates in another universe. you guys read each others mind dangerously fast but it still took you by surprise when he immediately picked up on the heavy meaning behind your words.

“it’s okay. i’m still here too.” he answered. as if to let you know that you weren’t alone in this cruel yet daunting situation. because after all, it takes two to tango.

soon enough, the driver stopped in front of the towering condos. you get out, once again thanking him as you grab your stuff and try to pull yourself together.

what takes you by surprise is the fact that joshua is waiting for you outside. wearing all black, hair slicked back and phone still to his ear. a small smile appeared onto his face, he looked as handsome as ever.

it still made your heart race just as it did when you first realized you liked him all those years ago in high school.

you walked towards him, trying to remain in a straight line. the nerves of the alcohol no longer giving you the confidence which had led you here in the first place.

it isn’t until you’re a few feet closer to him that he starts walking forward to meet you.

you’d make a joke about his action and the symbolism it had in regard to your relationship (or truly lack-there-of) but it still hurt too fresh. was still too early.

“here. happy birthday” you said slightly shoving the sikhye into this arms. he hangs up the phone and takes it, holding it carefully.

“so, how’ve you been-“ he starts but you’re already walking way past him, making your way to his place which he left unlocked.

joshua’s not dumb. he knows you did it on purpose. small talk never having been your fortitude but it still hurt him.

you enter the condo, him following closely behind snd locking the door.

as you take off your shoes and set down your purse, you looked around. everything the same as the last time you were in here on your birthday, almost a year ago.

“i’ve missed you.” he says while setting down the sikhye on his marble counter top. the small lights on top illuminating him. he almost looked angelic.

he always knew just what to say to have you weak in the knees. it was infuriating.

“i’ve missed your nice ass place, do you always have the ac blasting like this?” you say as you flopped down onto his ridiculously soft beige couch. using one of the pillows to prop yourself up.

“the floors are heated so i like the cool air, even during winter” he comes up and sits beside you on the couch, observing you closely.

“well my bad mr.money man” it took everything in you to not physically roll your eyes. you weren’t actually annoyed and you knew shua wasn’t saying it to brag but it was frustrating how seemingly put together his life is.

aside from this rather “chaotic” ensemble, your life was actually pretty nice. yet you were always right behind him, a step behind like some loyal puppy.

and tonight, you had the urge to prove once and for all you weren’t just a puppy, you were an equal.

what you didn’t know was that he already saw you as one.

“come here” he says while patting his back, looking at you with eager yet cautious eyes.

you don’t verbally respond, just physically get up and do as instructed. straddling his lap.

his hands dig into your waist, holding you in place.

“explain yourself.”

“explain yourself.”

you both said it at the same time. it was eerie but earned a unanimous laugh.

“you first” you string out. one hand playing with the ends of his hair and the other just below his neck, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“look, y/n.. this isn’t just a one way street and we clearly remember things differently” he says blatantly. the grip he had on your waist loosening the more he spoke.

“just admit it.” you start, piercing into his soft brown eyes.

this would be much easier if he wasn’t so handsome.

“admit what?” he ask. hands trailing up and down your back, just how he used to back in uni.

“that i’ve had it worse, it hurt me harder. admit that you, hurt me way worse.” you demand, trying to ignore the ache in your throat.

joshua tilts his head back and let’s out a frustrated sigh.he looks back at you with something else in his eyes, lust.

he pulls you closer to him while pushing you down onto him. you look at him confused but he doesn’t speak yet, instead he starts pressing light, gentle kisses up your arm.

“did i complain when you started going out with that pathteic exuse of a man might i add, in uni just a less than a month after you confessed to me?” he ask peering up at you.

there was a slight pang in your heart. you remember it so clearly. after years of a seemingly unrequited love in high school, you confessed to him in uni.

hoping, praying, that it would help you get over joshua.

when he didn’t give an answer before mid terms, you tried moving on in another ways. getting with a guy that liked you way more than you liked him.

thinking back, it was definitely cruel but staying alone and seemingly rejected seemed worse.

he continues, both kissing your body and speaking. as if letting out years of pent up hurt in the air.

“did i ignore you after you rejected my confession at the end of the last semester? a week or so before my birthday? you ignored me sweetheart; even though i was the one rejected.”

this one struck a nerve.

a memory far too painful to be brought up. he goes up to kiss your collarbone but you back up, ultimately getting off him and sitting on the table in front of him.

“seriously joshua? are you really still acting confused as to why i rejected you then?” you ask fully bewildered. one eye brow slightly raised as you observe the man in front of you.

he leans forward and mocks your expression. daring you to state your reasoning after all these years.

you let out a dry laugh before crossing your arms.

alright then, your turn to straighten some things out tonight.

“joshua hong do not act oblivious to the fact that i have been pathetically in love with you since high school. i don’t know if it’s when you started sitting by me in class, or opening my drinks, or that time you shaded me from the sun while i was napping in p.e but i have been. plain and simple, okay?”

he starts to talk but you cut him off, determined to get your point through.

“foolish teen me thought i was special. until, i realized you probably sat next to me because your two friends sat in front of me, you open anyone’s drinks, and excetra excetra but either way, i made the dumb mistake of confessing my feelings for you in uni.”

you’re angry now, not at him but at how pathetic you must’ve seemed all these years.

he stays quiet, letting you take a breather before continuing.

“so yes. to get over you i started dating, having fun, doing anything to fix a mended heart of what i assumed was unrequited love because you gave me some ambiguous ass answer and what i needed in my life was not ambiguity, especially from you.”

you get up while taking, now pacing around his table trying to stop any tears that warned they would fall out if you looked at him any longer.

“then, a year into my relationship, on my relationship anniversary, you confess to me and crumbled down genuinely almost every ounce of self respect and happiness and i barley managed to scrape together to make my relationship work. i had to break up with him because how could it be fair to try and love someone else when a single confession, no, even just a mere look from you spiraled me back into you palm.”

joshua looks pained as he looks at you, getting up to come over to you but you stand firm on the other side of the table. moving sides any time he tries to approach you.

not afraid of him, never afraid of him.

afraid of the affect he has on you.

in a momentary lapse of weakness, a tear comes out and you immediately wipe it away.

“i love you. a lot more than you do me which is fine, i accepted that a long time ago but i will not be the girl who has these arguments with you once a year and then slips out in the morning after we’ve had sex. not again, i can’t.”

you didn’t even realize when but joshua was suddenly at your side, holding you gently and leasing you to sit back down on the couch next to him.

“y/n i’ve loved you a lot longer than you think, i swear it. and i’ve never once told you to leave in the mornings, trust me. i never sleep well because i wake up practically scorn when i see the spot you’re supposed to be in is empty. i get hurt a lot more easier than you think, it’s written all over my face when i miss you.”

his words practically ate you alive. if he had said all these years ago, even months, no even just last week you probably would’ve gone right back head over heels, full in.

you let out a coarse laugh. the ache in your throat from holding back your tears evident as ever and he realizes this, gently brushing back some hair behind your ears.

“you never told me to leave but never asked me to stay.” you murmur almost incoherent while staring down at your hands.

“mhm?” he hums, confused at the string of words you purposely rushed out.

“i said, you never told me to leave but you never asked me to stay.” you repeat, now looking at him directly. trying to read his eyes.

this, he couldn’t refute. and he knew it deep down as well.

after all those years of pining and watching from afar it still felt too real for him when you were suddenly in his bed for the first time.

you could’ve thought he was a teen who hadn’t had his first kiss yet. hands shaky, eyes nervous to meet yours, mind racing with thoughts at 100 miles per hour because that is how much of an affect you had on him.

he never admitted it though, failed the chance to and soon enough you mistakenly took his silence as a “hint” and slipped out every morning before the sun even rose.

it was his turn to tears to start falling but his hands felt too limp to even dry his eyes. so when you raise yours and wipe them away ever so gently, all he can do is cry into your hands.

“i’m sorry” he starts choking out.

“i really am so sorry. if i could do it all over again, if you just let me back in, i would. i would make it right. make a move faster, acknowledge my feelings earlier, not let you slip away so easily. i would tell you to stay. i want you, no, i need you to stay.” he rushes out, practically pleading at this point because God forbid he lets you out his life again.

but you both know it can’t happen. you’ve hurt each other far too much, have fallen dependent on each other for far too long.

it was unhealthy and you both knew knew it.

you firmly interlock your pink with his and stand up. he looks at your pinkies for a few more seconds before standing up after you.

you walk ahead, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes. your pinkies still loosely intertwined.

joshua wants to say something, he tries to on multiple accounts but every time he opens his mouth, tears brim his eyes again.

you unlock the door and slightly go outside, your pinkies barely still holding onto each other.

you stare at each other longingly, as if you both knew in your hearts that it would be for the last time.

you smile fondly, even after just crying he was still so handsome.

“same time next year?” he jokes

you let out a genuine laugh and he swore in another life he’d do anything to keep hearing it.

“i’m joking. you are never, ever, allowed in my “nice ass house” again.” he dead pans, while not so obviously trying to hide a small smile.

you knew it had to end here, at his door step, pinkies intertwined. it would’ve never worked, no matter how much you guys both wanted it.

“i’ll miss you, so much.” you say sincerely.

he knows this. “miss” was a massive understatement in his books. he leans forward, placing a gentle kiss in your lips which you kissed back but for once you don’t chase after his lips once he pulls away.

he places another light kiss on your temple, as he does so he pulls away his pinky and this action is the one that almost breaks you all over again.

a beat passes, you stare at each other with simultaneously far too much love and hurt to ever truly be strangers.

“i’ll miss you too. just as much.” he echoes. meaning every word.

and with that, for the first time since meeting him, you pulled yourself together and turn your back to him first.

you walk away first.

and he watches it happen before closing his door, for good.

[generalllimaginesss]

The End of Things As We Know It

Loosely based off the song “Whatever Fits Together” by Skullcrusher (beautifully written song, 10/10 recommend go listening to it). Planning on doing a few parts to this, but who knows. Not really in the mood for a happy ending, so warning? Probably not going to be proofread very well. Also, my apology is at the end of this😬

A cool draft flowed through the open patio area in the backyard of the Hughes’ lake house. The clear skies and birds chirping should have a been a picture perfect way to end the summer. It should, right? It should be nothing less than a dream to have a boyfriend that was the 7th overall NHL pick when he was only 19 years old. The reassurance of a future where everything would be taken care of by the person that went from being an awkward, determined child to a confident, diligent man is what all the girls swoon over, yeah?

Life isn’t a fairytale. Happily ever afters are nearly an impossible expectation that every little girl grows up dreaming about, but never achieves. People fuck up, people hurt people, there’s no exception to that. It’s life. That’s a lesson that, unfortunately, everybody learns one day.

That didn’t make the weight on her chest lighten any less, however. A relationship that’s been through hell and back in the span of 6 years should be able to withstand everything, especially when it was nobody’s fault of the circumstances that were basically forced in the lap of the lovers.

That’s why Y/N felt gutted, absolutely empty, sitting next to her lover on what should be a picture perfect day. Tears threatened to spill at any second when she decides to open her mouth.

Quinn knew something was off with Y/N. She wasn’t her no-filtered, free-spirited, chirpy self that Quinn had known and loved for so many years. She wasn’t talking about future plans for the upcoming hockey and school seasons, she wasn’t making plans with his brothers for the next break when they all get together, no. She seemed to take up very little space around her, her personality shrinking day after day as the summer came to a close. He knew something was coming, he just didn’t know how bad it was going to be. It shouldn’t be that bad, he thought. He had loved her endlessly and unconditionally since the day he was forced to pick her in a dodgeball game at a pep rally in high school. She may not have been his first choice in that game, but he couldn’t dream of any different choice of a partner to go through life with.

Y/N cleared her throat and quickly swiped at the tears brimming the corner of her eyes as she spoke to Quinn, “I love you, you know. So fucking much, Quinn.” Quinn got the feeling that he should keep his mouth shut and just listen, so he gave a worried nod and watched his girl.

“You have supported me through so many things in 6 years. You’ve been there for me when not a single soul has, Quinn Hughes,” Her tears were free flowing, as it would be a losing battle if she tried to stop or conceal them.

“That’s my job, babe. I would never dream of doing anything differently,” Quinn turned himself to face her, his calloused hands enveloping her manicured ones.

“I got the job offer,” She croaked out. She was about to go into her last semester of grad school, just as a position at her dream job opened up. She didn’t think she would get the job, especially with her not even graduating yet, but things worked out so that she can work as an intern and do her last semester online, and the company would be paying for it. It was amazing in every aspect, except that it would be taking her all the way to Orlando, Florida. There would be 3,222 miles between the 2 during hockey season, and 1,159 miles between them during holidays and breaks.

“Y/N, that’s awesome! Why are you upset? You worked so fucking hard for this!” Quinn chortled nervously as he gave her hand a squeeze. He was beyond confused on how this wasn’t news that they should be celebrating, but he watched her intently.

Y/N didn’t have to say anything. That’s the thing about fully emerging yourself into a relationship with somebody special, sometimes it’s easier to let them feel what your thinking versus finding words that just don’t quite feel real or work the way you need them to.

She watched as Quinn’s puzzled look turned into a slight shake of his head, left and right, denial creeping up on the man like a thief in the night.

“Y/N…we’ve been together for 6 fucking years,” Quinn’s voice cracked, his throat tightening with every breath. He could feel his heart fracturing each second that the two were sitting there. Each tear that left a stain on her cheeks were words that she couldn’t quite say.

“We’ve made it work for this long. We can FaceTime and I can fly down there some, I mean we love Disney,” Quinn had to chuckle in between a few tears that began to fall. He didn’t know what else to do. There’s not exactly a manual on how to deal with your heart fucking shattering, but if there was he’d read it.

“Quinn, you don’t understand. We’re not talking about being able to just easily go back and forth between Michigan and Florida. Orlando is where my life is about to begin. It’s going to be my new home,” She began to explain to him, but he stood up and ran his fingers through his slightly curled mess of hair.

“So what now?” Quinn exhaled and turned around to face her, his fingers intertwined behind his head.

“I’ll be here for a few more days to pack my stuff. My family is driving me and my stuff down there and helping me get set up,” Y/N explained as she searched Quinn’s face, wanting to pick up any slight emotion that flashed in his eyes.

“Was I going to be a part of that?” Surely she would invite him to help her move. She couldn’t just cut ties that easily, could she? They loved each other.

“Quinn it’s painful just having to do this. I don’t think I could function knowing that we’re over when you leave Orlando. I can’t…” She trailed off.

Quinn knew she was right, she had a valid reason to keep their relationship confined to the memories in which they had lived and the state lines of Michigan. Dragging this out probably would hurt, but damn he didn’t know how it could be any worse than this right now. She was there beside him, her perfect, loving self and his heart was still fucking shattered. The thought of her leaving him made him nauseous.

“I think it’s best you go now,” he had tears steadily rolling down his face, his breath hitched as he turned back around to face the opposite direction of the girl that his heart longed for. Every ounce of his strength trying to hold back the sob that was stuck somewhere between his throat and chest.

“What about Jack and Lu-”

“Please, Y/N, just go,” he pleaded. He couldn’t stand it. How is he just supposed to let her slip through his fingers like this? Helpless, like watching a car wreck happening in slow motion except it felt like he was the wreck. The shards of glass sliced quick and precise straight through his heart leaving a puddle of mush in its place. The life sucked right out of him.

He heard the chair slightly grind against the concrete, signaling that she was getting up, and he listened as close as his ears would allow him to her footsteps getting further and further away until the ghost of the sound lingered. The sound of the car door closing triggered more tears, but the gravel being disturbed as she drove away sent him into a rage like no other.

Quinn’s always been a pretty level-headed person, so the emotions that possessed him startled him, but he let it take over. He picked up his phone off the table and threw it as hard as he could across the yard. A spare hockey stick stood no chance against the tree that he beat with it, pieces of the stick flying around mixed with the bark. He had to be dreaming. This couldn’t be real. There’s no way this was actually happening after the best summer the two have had so far. He had plans to marry her. Why didn’t he just do it sooner? She would still be with him, in a cozy house near Vancouver, maybe a kid, and their whole future ahead of them. As he let himself feel the vomit of emotions swirling inside of him, he slid down the tree that suffered his wrath, allowing the sobs to take over.

Y/N may have been better at controlling her anger concerning the situation, but she struggled to drive home as the tears were thick and steady. Her contacts were making her vision blurry as she pulled into the driveway of her parents house. The only car in the driveway was her brother’s, and as if on cue he walked out of the front door. She had mentioned to him that Quinn would probably not be in the picture in Orlando, but he honestly didn’t believe her. So when he saw the state she was in he jogged over to the car and opened the driver door, switching the car off and steadying his baby sister as she stood up from her seat. Concern plagued his face, resulting in Y/N crying harder.

The two made it inside and fell onto the couch, the white linen providing slight comfort, the feeling of home.

“I did it,” She let the words roll off her tongue incredulously.

“You broke up with Quinn?” Her brother’s words caused her to wince. The phrase seemed foreign, distasteful, like they shouldn’t even be spoken.

He engulfed her in his arms, allowing her to let every emotion that was falling from her eyes dampen his shirt.

“Y/N we love you so much. We truly, truly do. Whatever you need and we’re there for you,” he tightened his hug around her and they sat there for as long as she needed.

——

The hardest lesson that Y/N learned in the couple of months that she had been in Orlando was that time didn’t stop for pain. She didn’t get a week to sit in bed and eat chocolate and drown herself in a bottle of Crown. She couldn’t waste her days on listening to depressing love songs as she went through pictures of her and Quinn throughout the years a million times. Time kept ticking and it held no remorse for her broken heart.

She felt numb during the days it took to uproot her life from Michigan and replant it in Orlando. She found herself on autopilot, her brain functioning to only keep her new job and keep her alive. She learned that she really did love her job. The people were welcoming, the clients she helped her mentors with reminded her why she chose this career field. She would have good days, ones where the sky was crystal clear and birds were singing to her, and then all of a sudden she would be roped back into the guilt that accompanied her happiness.

A sports article with Quinn’s name would catch her attention every now and then, constricting her throat the longer she would read it. He was having an outstanding season, and all she wanted to do was to tell him how proud she was. She wanted to kiss him one more time after a win, even if he was a sweaty mess. She wanted to have one more margarita Monday with him, catching him up with all the gossip in her sorority.

She didn’t just lose the love of her life, no. She lost the best friend that she ever, and would ever have. Nobody else that walked the earth would understand her like her Quinn. Nobody knew that when she was nervous she would chew on the inside of her cheek until it started to bleed, so Quinn had to stop her from letting it get that far. Only Quinn knew that she had to set an alarm at exactly midnight to flip her pillow to the cool side because she would rather dive in ice water than wake up in a pool of sweat. Nobody else knew that she ordered chicken strips with exactly one and a half Polynesian sauces from Chick-fil-A with a frosted lemonade. He always ate the other half of the sauce with his nuggets. He knew that her favorite shows were any of the Real Housewives series, but that she was settling with Vanderpump Rules while Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was getting ready to film again.

Nobody else knew these things. Nobody had taken the time to understand her. She wasn’t rude, she had a dry sense of humor. She didn’t cry when Jack died in Titanic, but she had to call in to work when Trevor forced her to watch Where the Red Fern Grows because she was so upset. Her personality was so interwoven with Quinn’s that she felt like she was picking each individual strand of velcro apart from the two of them in her two months in Orlando.

As she sat at her desk in her office trying to get some school work done, a knock interrupted her reminiscence of her past.

“Girl, you look so depressed. It should be a sin for a hot girl like you to be wallowing around in self pity when you literally live like 10 minutes from the happiest place on earth,” Collins took a swig of her iced coffee.

Collins was equipped with warm ivory skin, sandy brown hair, and legs that seemed to go on for days. If a model scout ever did lay eyes on the girl, she would have a contract on the spot. She was also the closest thing that Y/N had to a friend in Orlando.

The two seemed to click right away. Collins invited herself to Y/N’s apartment after her first day at the office to help her finish unpacking, one drink led to another and before the night was over Y/N was spilling her whole life story, along with a drink or two, to her newfound friend. After that the two hung out at least a few times a week and texted each other about minuscule things throughout the day.

Y/N flashed a pleading look at the girl, as if asking if she can have a rot day, but her friend sent a quick text on her phone and sat on Y/N’s desk.

“You should be getting off around 2:00 today. Go home, change into clothes for disney, and I’ll pick you up at 3:00,” Collins instructed, not giving Y/N a chance to decline.

The time flew by, and before Y/N knew it she was putting her hair in a claw clip and throwing on a t shirt, biker shorts, and her tennis shoes. She heard a car pull up outside and tried to race down the stairs so Collins wouldn’t have to get out, but as soon as she rounded the corner on the first floor she collided with a solid object.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” She was mortified as she looked up to a guy with messy brown hair and a slightly scraggly beard. She had no idea if he knew who she was, but if anybody with a little bit of hockey knowledge saw him they would know that it couldn’t be mistaken for anybody other than Matthew Tkachuk.

Y/N scrambled past him and flung herself into Collins’ car, laughter littering the air as Y/N’s cheeks were turning red. She noticed there was an extra guy in the passenger seat, probably her friends boyfriend, and wanted to crawl in a deep, dark place and never return.

Collins rolled the window down and absolutely mortified her new friend.

“Matthew, let’s go!” She yelled, the messy-haired man popping his head back around the corner with confusion etched in his face. He did as he was told, however, and struggled to slide back into the backseat.

Once he realized that the culprit that rammed into him was seated beside him, he tried his best to hold back his snorts from laughing.

“Matthew, that’s Y/N. Y/N, this is my boyfriend Jackson. Now that we’ve gotten THAT out of the way, let’s go have some fun, yeah?” Collins turned her radio up, the speakers almost shaking from Zach Bryan’s song Revival seeping out of them. The windows were down, and for the first time in 2 months, Y/N finally let herself feel happy.

She didn’t notice, but Matthew couldn’t stop himself from glancing at her. The strands of hair that shaped her face lapped against it as the warm, fall wind caught them. She was glowing and he couldn’t deny it. The embarrassment of their first meeting quickly wore off and the excitement of what Collins had dragged him into this time set in. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but something told him that right here, in this very second in the Florida wind, that this was the end of things as he knew it.

++++++++

Y’all, I’m so sorry for doing this, but I’m having a shitty time right now in life and I tried very hard to write something happy, maybe to make me feel better? But I quickly realized that I do much better work when I use my real emotions and ideas. When I tell you it felt like I was literally pouring myself onto this little app, it was actually so therapeutic. I’m actually going to try to proof read this well because I really like it. I promise I will come back to the Zegras imagines, but this aligns more with my emotions at the moment. Hope you understand! As always, thank you so much for reading!

[hauntinq-6]

So... last night my very first run of BG3 finally came to an end, and... I gotta say I am pretty emotional.

Summer (my Tav) has been with me for six years. I first created her for my first ever D&D campaign back when I was still in high school and I still had the possibility to play. Hers was the only campaign I got to see from start to finish, so she is very dear to my heart.

Many things happened in these six years. I graduated from high school, I played other campaigns that never got to have an ending (don't date your DMs, kids-), I got broken up with my boyfriend, I got into uni, I lost family members, I've had some of my highest highs and lowest lows, I got my first degree in Psychology... And all throughout these years I kept creating characters, I kept addind and removing and modifying and writing and drawing and it was all so much fun!

But I kept missing Summer. I can't quite explain what attracts me so much to her character. If it's the fact I was in a happy place when I first created her and so my emotions and feelings from that time still connect me to her, or if it's specifically because I got to play a whole campaign with her or even because not only I could play with her but my best friend was also along with me for the ride and we had a blast together. Whatever it is, I could never quite be done with her, you know?

One thing was for certain though. After the first two or three years her ending didn't satisfy me anymore. She was still so young, she still had so many questions left unanswered and so much potential. We were thinking of a possible sequel campaign for her and Arwen (my best friend's character and now Tav) but that's when our DM dropped us both. We were left wondering what we could do for them, what we could write and how. We weren't entirely sure which direction to take our characters in.

Then BG3 came out. I remember my timeline being flooded with Astarion edits (that damn song lives rent free in my head at this point), being so utterly confused at what the hell was going on and then slowly becoming intrigued. I remember sitting down with my best friend to watch a mega compilation of all the characters' romance scenes, finding the visuals so damn beautiful, being convinced I would be my usual freak self and go for The Emperor but falling hard for Gale instead. We so desperately wanted to play but neither of us had a PC that was compatible with the game.

Then my long distance friend reached out and told me he wanted to play long distance with me on Discord. It was all incredibly clunky and finicky but Gods I was so happy. He'd be playing from the other side of the country and streaming it for me, and I would pick all the dialogue choices in character. That's when my bestie and I had a eureka moment and thought "what if... what if Summer and Arwen's story wasn't over yet? What if they left Aegis to find new adventures and ended up in Faerun??". I was so fucking excited it is almost unbelievable.

We spent six whole months on this one game file and I enjoyed every. single. second of it. Six whole months of pure excitement and delight. The more I played, the more I tweaked Summer's character and backstory to fit the narration, the more I got inspired to write up the new chapters of her adventure with my best friend and the more I fell in love with her. I laughed, I cried, I launched myself into deep discussions over her character and why she would do or say certain things in each situation. I saw her easily slip back into her avdenturing habits, adoring each moment she got to spend under the stars. I saw her face her demons once again and with even more purpose this time. I saw her make new friends that she would want to spend the rest of her life with, I saw her fall in love with a man that truly deserved to be by her side... My little tiefling sorceress that plays like a barbarian, my pride and joy.

And it all came to and end last night. Her and her allies won the last battle, they saved Baldur's Gate, Gale proposed to her and she moved with him to Waterdeep to spend the rest of their life together. She got her happy ending.

Six whole years with Summer and I can finally consider her story complete. Perhaps she is so important to me because out of all the characters I created, she is the only one that finally got her whole character arc. A beginning and an end. And after all the harsh challenges she faced, after all the dangers and the pain and suffering... she finally got her happy ending. She got what she deserved.

Now, does that mean I am done with Summer? Absolutely not. There is still much to do, much to write and much to draw. I'm gonna have tons of fun thinking up extra little scenarios for her and her friends and what her life in Waterdeep is gonna look like as she finally gets to build a family of her own. But as far as I am concerned... her main story's complete.

And as I listen to Endless Spring and get emotional all over again, I want to thank @wolfhunter89 and @sheeplyquillwrites for coming along with me on this wonderful journey. Summer's story just wouldn't have been the same without you. I love you guys so damn much, even if I never say it. I can't wait to see what's in store for Arwen next. To many more stories and games shared together!

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 17/02/2024

vs SAYU (Based Version)

Season 4 Episode 2 No Album Release (Read More) vs. SAYU - No Straight Roads

Ripped by Dead Line (@deadlinesmb)

Thus far, I've covered the ripper Dead Line twice on this blog - with Medley Rush #7 and Imperial Touwer. Ever since I first had the idea of starting up this blog, Medley Rush #7 was a rip I KNEW that I wanted to cover on it at some point, for the exact reason I declared within it - the ripper's infectious affection. Amidst a sea of exceptionally talented contributors, Dead Line's mark upon the channel is immediately identifiable by just how unabashedly open they are with all of their interests: games that otherwise don't get all too much in-depth coverage on the channel are repeatedly utilized by Dead Line for their excellent, reserved yet althesame fun-loving style of ripping. And past Sonic Rush, Super Monkey Ball, and IndiePogo, the game that immediately springs to mind when I think of Dead Line is No Straight Roads.

Honestly, if you've been following SiIvaGunner for as long as I have, its possible that the game's coverage on the channel was the first time you ever heard of No Straight Roads - hell, vs SAYU (Based Version) released before the game itself did! And certainly, the SiIva team can often be quick to jump on the news right as they happen, the joke with rips like Too big, huh, my nuts are too big how about that and other E3 rips is entirely based on how quick on the draw they appear to be with current gaming news. Yet there's not really a...joke, or a "bit" to play off with vs SAYU (Based Version), no funny controversy that the game found itself in to warrant making some biting satire before the thing even releases. It is Dead Line in its purest form - a game with aesthetics and vibes that the guy clearly clicked with on a deeper level, and decided in turn to mess around with its music in whatever ways they found befitting to that vibe.

It may well be my Anamanaguchi bias from Give Me the Fantasy and 88811 speaking, but the use of On My Own as the introductory edit really just sold me on the direction Dead Line was taking with it immediately. On My Own is hardly Anamanaguchi's most famous song, arguably overshadowed by other singles from [USA] - yet with the focus wholly on Dead Line mixing and matching music they enjoy with the already incredible vs. SAYU theme, means that all notions of needing to be identifiable, or inherently funny, or memetic go out the window. It is, in simple terms, just a straight-up banger, one that could only have come out of Dead Line's own personal tastes and favorite songs, bands, and games.

We do, of course, get a bit of the more SiIvaGunner-core music choices toward the back end of the rip, most notably with a section of three Splatoon songs transitioning into one another back-to-back. As expected, they're what most people in the comments recognize, what most make their patented SiIvaGunner Commenter Jokes about - yet their inclusion, too, comes from a place of sheer affection and admiration that Dead Line has for Splatoon in particular, its style of music and aesthetic already being quite close to No Straight Roads in the first place. All of these sources - including the song Spectrum by Zedd, one I had never even heard of before this rip - seem like odd fits to reference in one collective rip, yet its remarkable just how well they all end up fitting together once blended together. Therin is the power of the ripper - to be able to pick out music that sounds like it wouldn't just be merely "funny" to include, but would fit in terms of style and theming, which sections to devote to which songs or sections *within* songs, and so on and so fourth. vs SAYU (Based Version) aims not to overstay its welcome or burrow home a joke more loud and mainstream than it needs to - it sets out to be a banger, and passes that bar with flying colors.

Essentially, for my money vs SAYU (Based Version) is one of the most Dead Line-ass rips that Dead Line has ever made. Their ear for quality, excellent taste in both games and music, and evident love for what they're paying tribute to all shine through here, and likely brought tons more eyes toward No Straight Roads than ever before. If nothing else, it got the attention of the vs. SAYU composer himself - whose own comment of endorcement gave me the tentative title used throughout this post. The ripper and the original composer, meeting and rejoicing over the shared love of quality, and the shared love of good ass tunes.

[kerra-and-company]

I am surprised it wasn't asked yet for the ask-game ;?: Either Kerra or Rel? 🥰

Nope, you're the first one! Everyone's managed to ask for someone different this time, which is actually pretty incredible (not that I ever mind doubling up on folks, to be clear--that's fun too!). And absolutely--why not both of them? :D <3

Kerra

01. Full name: Kerralind

02. Best friend: Rel

03. Sexuality: biromantic, demisexual, polyamorous

04. Favorite color: purple (in general, but also did you know there's a color called Tyrian purple? because I didn't until a minute ago!)

05. Relationship status: taken (by Canach and Nisha)

06. Ideal mate: cares a lot, willing to joke but also to be sincere, fierce but not uncompromising

07. Turn-ons: standing up for others/for your beliefs, just...doing badass things (I was trying to find a general category that includes giving a speech to rally the Pact as well as casually blowing up towers in Kourna), open affection

08. Favorite food: has a few, but the peppermint Wintersday cakes are definitely on that list

09. Crushes: if current partners work for this, then them (and

10. Favorite music: varies--songs/music that she connects with due to the lyrics/themes, things that Rel's written (and ones they wrote together), songs with complicated musical accompaniment

11. Biggest fear: failing to protect the people she loves, and the world (or, phrased differently, being helpless to protect the people she loves--and the world)

12. Biggest fantasy: never having to step in to save the world again because it doesn't need to be saved anymore, just improved a bit maybe

13. Bad habits: she's self-sacrificing as all hell, so that definitely goes here; so does her tendency to stop talking about her negative emotions when she's having a hard time (though the second one's definitely less of a problem now than it used to be)

14. Biggest regret: you're asking the monarch of taking too much responsibility for things what she regrets? what she feels guilty about? that's going to be a long list, friend

15. Best kept secrets: the exact amount of blame she was putting on herself for the first year and a half or so of her existence

16. Last thought: "I think I'll pick up hot chocolate on the way home."

17. Worst romantic experience: the assorted times she's almost lost her partners, I'd say; from a different angle, the fact that the first person she had a crush on basically managed to disappear off the face of Tyria

18. Biggest insecurity: she's not always certain of her decisions and does the best she can, but aside of that, I can't think of anything super major she's insecure about

19. Weapon of choice: any combination of sword/dagger/torch, and longbow as well

20. Role Model: Caithe (in some ways), Almorra

(Rel's is under the cut because this got long!)

Rel

01. Full name: Relethen

02. Best friend: Kerra

03. Sexuality: gay

04. Favorite color: emerald green

05. Relationship status: taken (by Trahearne)

06. Ideal mate: curious, dedicated, kind, willing to have discussions about assorted topics

07. Turn-ons: righteous anger, genuine enthusiasm, anyone he already has feelings for actively trying to flirt in whatever way

08. Favorite food: sugar cookies, chocolate omnomberry cake

09. Crushes: again, if current partners are viable here, then Trahearne (and as far as past things go, he had a crush on one of his friends in Maguuma before he and Nisha left)

10. Favorite music: songs that tell stories, in some way or another

11. Biggest fear: that his child will somehow end up with a childhood that is in any way similar to the one he and Nisha had

12. Biggest fantasy: to have a quiet and "normal" life forever, or at least for a very long time, with his family and plenty of books

13. Bad habits: drinking too much coffee, not getting enough sleep

14. Biggest regret: not truly seeing how badly Nisha was doing (or how badly he himself was doing) until their mother died and neither of them could ignore it anymore

15. Best kept secrets: Mordremoth's relationship with the sylvari (up to HoT; mostly kept hidden by accident); his feelings for Trahearne (not really, but he'd jokingly say this if you asked him this question personally)

16. Last thought: "The children never put the sheet music back in the folders. Maybe we should color-code them?"

17. Worst romantic experience: probably the entirety of HoT--though it does end well in my canon, the whole airship crash and not knowing for sure if Trahearne was even alive or not was a whole thing--but secondarily, coming back to his old village and finding out that his first crush and the rest of the population had been absolutely wiped out can also be included here if you stretch a bit

18. Biggest insecurity: his capabilities as a fighter--right up until HoT, at least; nothing like being dropped into a jungle full of Mordrem to prove to you that you're capable of surviving

19. Weapon of choice: scepter/warhorn, as well as a battlestaff that he and Nisha designed together

20. Role Model: Nisha (in some ways), his mother (previously, not currently), Ceera

[violetfoxsketches]

This one took place in 1981, with the current iteration of Javier that I'm playing for my buddy's VtM game set in Melbourne, Australia. The lore between Em and Javier is a little different but lucky for you, I have some in-game text for you to devour :3

Watching a starving vampire get extracted from a box and proceed to scarf down a hoard of rats… Eugh, this felt like a bad rerun and Javier wanted none of it. So, he focused instead on leading Astrid away from the scene to wait it out in his newly-procured Datsun. He ducked his head in to first shove the bucket seat as far back as it would go, then squeezed into the space, shifting awkwardly to keep from banging his knees on the steering wheel. Grateful to see that the t-top indeed still seemed to be in working order, he made a mental note to pop that out before the eventual drive. But for now, he wanted to drown out the sounds of whatever crime against rat kind was being performed for the second time this week. And to give the once-again-orphaned babyfang somewhere to decompress. Lord knows he could relate. “Alright,” he finally drawled as he turned the keys enough to power the radio, “pick your poison.” Javier fished out the cassette collection he always seemed to have on him. Hand-penned mixtapes with titles like ‘✭R͓̽O͓̽C͓̽K͓̽ ͓̽C͓̽I͓̽T͓̽Y͓̽✭’ and ‘ᔕᑕᖇEᗩᗰ YOᑌᖇ ♡ OᑌT’ and weirdly, ‘��𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝𝕕 𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕖𝕣-𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕄𝕚𝕩: 𝕍𝕠𝕝. 𝟚’. There was another cassette that tumbled out of his pocket with the others, Astrid could briefly see ‘✿ 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔱-𝔐𝔢-𝔑𝔬𝔱 ✿’ scrawled on the label, but the man quickly stowed it back into some interior pocket. Offering the rest of the selection like one might reveal their hand in poker. 

"Hey. Uh, if you don't mind...maybe the 'Forget Me Not'? Seems right, you know...?" Astrid requested. “Uh. That one’s—” Private, he wanted to say. But that sounded too… incriminating. Besides, she was looking at him with those sad brown eyes, so none of your business wasn’t gonna fly here either. The man hemmed and hawed, mouth half-parted on his stifled words before finally managing, “My friend… recorded that one. Gave it to me before I left the States. I ‘unno if you’re gonna like it…” He takes a breath as he retrieves the cassette and pops it into the player. Instead of the assault of aggressive drums and electric riffs Astrid had come to expect from his music, the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar fills the space. Before long, a soft, sweet tenor voice joins in. The sound is almost supernatural, and its effect on Javier is nearly immediate. The tension in his shoulders drops and he seems to settle into his seat more as his almost perpetual scowl melts away. He starts nodding to the beat and taps in time on the steering wheel with one finger. The first song ends with a sharp click, then another, then the guitar and voice return to deliver another stellar acoustic melody. Javier’s dusty brown gaze slides over to Astrid, “You diggin’ this? Or should we pick a different one? I know it’s not my usual stuff.” "Yeah, this is pretty stellar. Your friend has a good voice." Astrid said as the tracks continued, leaning back in her seat with her eyes closed. However, she hadn't missed how much Javier seemed to relax at the tunes. It was a thought that remained in her mind as she and her new friend enjoyed the tunes. Eventually, by the third or fourth track, Astrid noticed something else: each of these songs were interesting choices to put on a self made mixtape for a friend, one titled Forget-Me-Not, of all things. It was around Walkin' After Midnight that Astrid figured it out. The dude singin'? He was in love and a hell of a lot braver than she was. "You know, I once thought of trying to put a mixtape together of some of Helen's favorite songs, of me signing them out for her 17th birthday. Ended up givin' up because I got scared...of soundin' like a fool," Astrid said, "I wish I had. Her birthday that year was almost ruined thanks to an absolute prick she was dating. Bastard made her cry and everythin'. First time I ever punched someone in a rage." A laugh escaped Astrid. "Next day at school stupid idiot then threatened he'd leave Helen if she kept hanging out with me. Said it was my fault he ruined her birthday," Astrid shook her head at the memory, a small smile on her face, "You know what she did next? Flipped him off in front of everyone and just unloaded the most foul words she could think to describe him. And then we marched ourselves out of school, my idea I'll admit. Told her we needed to actually celebrate her birthday." Astrid took a breath and held it for a moment before letting it out slowly before speakin' again. "Sorry to unload that, hermano. I just...your friend's song evoked some memories, that's all." 

Javier flippantly waves her off. “Yeah, Em’s got that effect on folks.” he comments, “Even more so now than back when we were both breathin’.” This whole thing really did feel like a bad rerun. He shifts his gaze skyward through the glass of the t-top. “He moved to Nashville with his dad back in ‘71. Found him trudgin’ along the wrong side of the tracks in a fancy private school uniform, lookin’ real lost. He was so dang tiny, I thought he was still in middle school.” Javier chuckles with a rare genuine amusement as he recounted, “He was… a soft guy, a real flower child. Easy for folks to pick on. But unlike most folks, he wasn't scared of me. And we both really liked music. He also ran away from home all the time, and he always landed at my place —so much that Ma got a bunk bed for my room.” “You say you decked a dude at seventeen, I got arrested at eighteen for beatin’ the snot out of some prissy guy who was blackmailin’ Em. Only time I ever saw Em’s dad. Man threw a bunch of money around and my charges magically disappeared. Never saw the other guy around town again after that either.” By now, the tape had gotten to Em’s cover of Stairway to Heaven. “We lived together with my other bud Lucas in college, but then I started seein’ Riley. Em ‘n Lucas neither one liked her. We got in fights over her all the time. And then Em took off to L.A. with some girl. And well, you know what happened to me.” Javier curls a lip to reveal a fang for emphasis. “Fast forward to a few months ago and I’m all alone, slummin’ some open mic bar for a meal and who do I spot on stage but Em, singin’ his little lungs out. Problem was, he spotted me too. And I was supposed to be dead. He’d gone to my funeral 'n everything. So I bolted.” Javier gives a scoff. “My first hint shoulda been the fact that he could keep up with me. He caught up, latched onta me n’ started cryin’, sayin’ he thought I was dead. Then he realized I didn’t have a heartbeat. And then I realized when he pulled away that he’d left my shirt lookin’ like a crime scene. It dawned on both of us at the same time that we shared the same fate.”

"God, that's..." Once again, Astrid was at a loss for words and just shook her head, finally breaking her gaze from the beyond the windshield to Javier, "You both deserved better. Helen did, too." Tragedy was just a part of this life, Astrid was coming to understand that but she didn't want to be okay with the fact. Blatant doubt crossed Javier’s face as Astrid insisted he deserved better. Em, yes. Helen? Probably, from the way Astrid went on about her. But not him. Not after how much trouble he’d caused Em. He had so much to make up for. "With as many rules there are, the amount of vampires that just do as they pleased... I just wish someone would do something about it, wish they'd just-" Astrid stopped when she realized her hands had curled into fists, eyes widening at the sight. No. Now was not the time. She had caused enough trouble for the night. She took a deep breath and focused on the last bit of Em's song, trying to find some balance. "For what it's worth, I'm going to do my damn best to get you back to the states so you can see Em again, Javier. I bet he'll have another tape ready for you, too. He sounds like a great friend," Astrid said, still not completely convinced the part about Em 'running off with some girl' was the way Javier made it sound, "Keep him in your life. Er, afterlife. Whatever, you know what I mean." No one put that much effort in just a mixtape. She felt she and the unknown vampire might have a bit more in common than Javier realized. “I aim to, once I’m done here. I got some shit to sort first." Javier declared, "And so do you.” The stereo clicked once more, the first side of the tape now spent, and Javier promptly ejected it. Back into the jacket it went.

If there's ever confusion, Javier and Em for this 80s game will always be tagged '#All The Saints Are Sleeping' and Javier and Em for the modern day game will always be tagged '#Welcome To Los Angeles'. Hope this helps :D

I was sucesfully looked at. 🖊 to me about Javier!

Please, God. Let this be the right one. He was almost out of quarters.

Javier had spent the last twenty minutes hearing the same robotic voice tell him to deposit some odd amount of change over and over as he tried number after number. Riley was not known for sticking in one place for very long but she and Javier had worked out a system for keeping in touch. A creature of habit and particular taste, there were about fifteen or so assorted motels, apartments, and semi-abandoned vacation houses Riley rotated between and kept a line on. Javier just had to figure out which one it was.

He hadn’t heard from her in two weeks and the time apart had grown agonizing. Sure, he could sustain himself on the odd underground partygoer. But nothing ever compared to the nights Riley indulged him from her own vein. He loved her to the moon and stars —and clearly she did as well, if she’d gone to such extremes to keep him by her side and under the night sky for eternity. Something must have happened to keep her away for so long.

The click of the receiver snapped him back to his task.

“Hello?” Riley’s voice crackled over the line. Oh thank fuck.

“Riles!” relief hemorrhaged from Javier’s voice, “It’s Javier. I’ve been waiting around San Diego for weeks now. Thought something happened to you. What are you doing all the way out in Reno?”

“If you needed to know that, I would have told you.” came the irked response. Just the sound of her ire made Javi want to duck his head in shame.

“I-I’m sorry.” Javier stammered, “ I just… I miss you. Riles… it's getting really bad.”

“Oh, pobrecito.” cooed Riley in condescension, “Tell you what~ Come find me in Reno tonight, I’ll get you all sorted.”

“Tonight? But Reno’s a nine and a half hour drive away!”

“Then I guess you better put the pedal to the metal if you wanna beat the sun, Baby.”

The line went dead. Javier didn't even bother putting the phone back on the receiver, opting to let it clatter and swing by the cord as he sprinted out of the phone booth. He garnered looks from a few folks at the gas station but he paid them no mind as he slid into his car and peeled out of the parking lot.

. . .

He’d managed the drive in seven hours. Almost got pulled over twice for it, too. When Riley answered the door to the old ramshackle house with genuine surprise, Javier dove desperately for her, wrapping arms around her tiny frame and hunching to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Too hungry to wait for permission, he quickly sank his fangs into her. Indulging in the utter bliss it brought them both and making sure to show Riley just how much she’d been missed…

“You’re worse than nicotine, you know that?” Javier joked drunkenly after they parted. Riley smiled in kind, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You actually drove all the way out here in a single night, you total moron.” she snarked right back with not-so-playful antagonism. She puts Javier at arm’s length as she smooths out her disheveled attire, “Well, go on. Best find somewhere to stay before dawn.”

“...I’m sorry, what?” Javier blinked in confusion, “I… can’t stay here with you today?”

Riley rolls her eyes.

“Really, I was hoping the sun would take care of you. It still just might if you don’t hurry.” Riley sneered before opening the door and giving Javier’s back an encouraging pat. As if she was sending him off to run an errand.

Javier just stood there, stricken. Caught between the obsessive need to obey her and the growing uneasiness he couldn't verbalize. Was she getting rid of him? Why? What had he done wrong? 

“Oh don’t give me that stupid look, you have no one to blame but yourself. You really should have blossomed into more by now, but, sadly, it seems you’re nothing more than a hanger-on.” Riley continued with an emphatic shove this time, “A shame, really, for someone so drop-dead gorgeous to be so pathetic. Get out of my sight.”

Javier staggered forward and the door slammed behind him. He heard the slide of a deadbolt as he obediently retreated to his car. What did she expect him to do? Just drive off, pretend everything was hunky-dory? March back up to that door and tell her she’s wrong and that he can change?

After a couple minutes of waffling, Javier had decided he couldn't bear to drive away. Riley was his entire world; he had to get her to see that. So instead, Javier got back out of the car and knocked desperately at the door. 

“Please, Riles!” Javier called through the door, “Whatever it is I did, I’m sorry! I… I’ll do anything, just please don’t do this! I can’t do this without you!”

No answer. Javier knocked harder.

“Riles! Riles! What am I supposed to do?! Please, just tell me what you want! I can change! I love you; that has to mean something!” that uneasiness grew inside him. The Beast that dwelled deep within him was active… and afraid. With one last beat against the door, Javier sank to his knees. “...I love you, Riles…” Nothing. He was trembling now. Was this really it…?

Wake up and smell the bacon. You're old news, you’ve been dumped! If you don't move your ass, you’ll be dust in the morning breeze. And don’t you fucking dare waste your blood crying over it either.

One shaky breath in. A slow exhale through the nose. Javier managed to get back to his feet and retreat for a second time to the car. Maybe there would be a motel nearby he could crash in. Or maybe the sun would fry him after all. While the second option sounded almost morbidly inviting, his Beast was having none of it, and before he realized it, he’d turned over the engine and was hauling it down the highway once more in a race against the morning light.

She’d killed him for their love. Made him immortal. He’d lost his soul to be with her. He’d lost everyone he’d ever known. Ma, Lucas, Em… Don’t cry, don’t you dare fucking cry. Crying now will only prove just how pathetic you really are.

But Javier was pathetic. Pathetic and alone. What the fuck was he supposed to do now…?

[asgardwinter]

The Divorce (3)

summary | Vecna’s curse was a hell of a problem, and the worst part was: you had no idea about its cause, you just knew it was killing people in your world. How can you keep your kids safe when you have no true idea about what is happening? You weren’t so sure neither you or Steve would be capable of it this time.

❊ << Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part >>

pairing | Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

warnings | angsty, making out in a car, mentions of panic attacks, reader is on the verge of a panic attack, nightmares, mentions of torture (yk the russian base and all), the idiots are realizing it!, SEASON 4 SPOILERS (episode 3) — let me know if i forgot something please!

word count | 4,1k

author’s note | here we go! idk how i feel about this chapter, but in the next one shit is going down :) leave a comment if you like — it helps to keep up the motivation! i know ‘time after time’ is already used in the series but i love the song and i needed to use it

❊ join the taglist!

Vecna’s Curse was what Dustin named it.

You could barely sleep that night after finding Eddie and learning that the chance of an Upside Down related event was even bigger than before. What type of monster would this Vecna be? As big as the mindflayer? Would it come to your dimension or act at a distance?

There were too many questions and, only to add to them, the fear of not being lucky enough this time crept under you.

You had to take care of the kids, had to keep them safe while letting them help because, being completely honest, they did a great part of the job. But every time these things would attack again you caught yourself thinking about the day you wouldn't be fast enough to swing a bat, or witty enough to find a metal pipe and hit something in the head just in time.

You weren’t that much older than them, anyways.

So when Steve got to your house to pick you up and see Eddie you had the most tired face in you and probably some indications that you cried — but just a little. Now you were head first into this edition of the Upside Down drama and you needed to keep your head in the game with no panic attack or other distractions.

“Good morning.” You said, clearing your throat so your voice would sound less nervous.

“Hey there.” Steve said, giving you a small smile. “Everything’s fine?”

When you only nodded he picked it as his cue to keep quiet and not ask anything about it. It was going to be a quiet ride to pick up Robin, so he decided to turn on the radio. The first chords of Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper and you turned your head to Steve raising an eyebrow.

…

It was the beginning of 1985 and you were in Steve’s car listening to some music.

For the first time in forever Steve’s parents were in Hawkins and at his house, making it not the first choice of a place for hanging out with your boyfriend whatever you and Steve were.

The car wasn’t one of the warmest places to stay in the winter but at least you were alone and didn't have to worry about any interruptions. You were listening to some music and talking, nothing much. After the events that first brought you to talk you and Steve had been doing that a lot.

Fears, traumas, the things you both went through and couldn’t tell a single soul in Hawkins were out in the open when it was the two of you.

That was, until he went and kissed you, interrupting some ramble about waiting for a demogorgon to appear out of nowhere.

You both didn’t waste any time and you sat on his lap kissing him harder, his hands roaming through your body were everything you needed for some time, everything you wanted. Talking so freely with him made you catch some feelings for sure plus the whole kissing too much wasn’t helping them to disappear like you wanted.

His hands trailed up to your cheeks, breaking the kiss and looking deep into your eyes. The smile he gave you awakened a dozen butterflies inside you.

“I’m happy you beated that demogorgon with a pipe.” He said sweetly, making you laugh.

“I shouldn’t even be at Jonathan’s house.” You said, taking a bit of hari from his eyes. “But I’m happy I saved your ass back there.”

“Because you wouldn’t be kissing me right now, right?” He joked.

Your hand traveled to his lips and you traced the pretty shape of them. “That and because I really like you, Steve.”

That caught him off guard but only made him smile wider and pull you in a deep kiss, one that sort of told you the very same thing you did to him.

He liked you very much.

The lyrics were lost in the car as you peeled his shirt off, but the moment you felt so happy with the possibility of it all being reciprocated you memorized the very same lines that echoed in your ears.

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

Time after time

…

Steve only smiled timidly and continued driving.

The silent ride turned into a very talkative one as Robin and Dustin joined the car ride. News about what the Hawkins PD thought about Chrissy’s murder and how Eddie Munson seemed to be the prime suspect.

When you got to the boat house to give Eddie some food, sharing the news with him wasn’t even near a good part.

“We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro and they’re definitely looking for you. Also they’re pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.” Dustin told him after he asked for them to say the bad news first.

“Like, 100% kind of convinced.” Max added, making Eddie’s expression fall even more.

“And the good news?” He said after a moment of silence.

“Your name hasn’t gone public yet.” Robin took a step forward. “But if we found out about you, it’s a matter of time before others do too. And once it gets out, everyone and they’re shallow-minded mother is going to be gunning for you.”

“Hunt the freak, right?” Eddie said, eyes lost far away to hold back the urge to go insane. You placed your hand on his arm, trying to give some comfort to your neighbor but it made no difference.

“So, before that happens we need to find Vecna, kill him and prove your innocence.” Dustin presented his plan.

“That’s all, Dustin? That 's all?” Eddie hissed, the plan didn’t sound even near promising.

“Yeah, no, that’s pretty much it.” Dustin said.

“Listen, Eddie.” Robin calledhis attention. “I know everything Dustin’s saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this kind of thing before.” She stopped just a second before adding. “I mean, they have a… a few times and… and I have once. MIne was more human-flesh-based, theirs was more smoke related, but bottom line is, collectively, I really feel like we got this.”

“Yes, we usually rely on this girl who has superpowers. But, uh, those went bye-bye, so…”

“So we’re technically in more of the…” Robin tried to follow on.

“Kinda…”

“Brainstorming phase.” Max completed it.

“Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about.” You tried to help them, but that affirmation was way too forced and made Eddie’s eyes go a little bit wider.

Police sirens cut the brainstorming phase of the plan and everyone started to grow in panic. Robin and Steve covered Eddie in the boat with the tarp and you ran first to spy in the window, trying to not show your whole face in the glass — an effort that proved useless since Dustin ran after you and got in front of the whole window to look at it.

“Fucking hell, I have a terrible feeling about this.” You whispered as you saw an ambulance followed by the police cars. "Let 's go.” You suggested, already running to the door so you could get in Steve’s car.

You sort of notice what you were doing only during your fourth step, acting as if nothing had changed. A cold ran though your spine but you continued to walk without looking behind you, without looking at him.

The group stood there stunned for a second, you were way more silent this time and it was comprehensible after “the divorce”. That was the first glimpse into what the hell things were back then, it felt like one glimpse of a good thing in the middle of the chaos that was only starting to unravel.

Dustin was the first to run after you, was it curiosity or that feeling of comfort in seeing you looking back at Steve and waiting for him to go even with the spark of insecurity behind your eyes.

Steve woken from the small transe he was in, taking in your cautions demeanor that stood several feet away from him and the similarity. For the first time since you met again, Steve gave you a half smile before walking fast to the car.

You still had an ambulance to follow.

…

It was no surprise to find Nancy at the crime scene, what shocked you was the reason for that to happen. Instead of going after information she was searching for her friend — or coworker — when she figured out he was dead.

After being questioned by the police she walked towards the group, already knowing that something was off if they were all together and very near a crime scene. Then phase two began, all the theories and explanations started being shared and got into an open discussion.

Things that had been understood in silence were finally spoken out loud and suddenly everything was real.

Way too real in your opinion.

“All that we know is that this is something different. Something new.” Max said, when most things were out.

“It doesn’t make sense.” Nancy complained.

“It’s only a theory.” Dustin justified himself.

“No, Fred and Chrissy don’t make sense.” Nancy continued. “I mean, why them?”

“Maybe it was just the wrong place? They were both at the game.” Dustin suggested.

“And near the trailer park.” Max completed.

“We’re at the trailer park.” Steve said in an uneasy voice. “Uh, should we maybe not be here?”

“I don’t think this is something to do with the trailer park.”

“No.” Nancy disagreed. “There is something about this place. Fred started acting weird the second we got here.”

“Acting weird as in…?” Robin trailed off, waiting for a better explanation.

“Scared, on edge, upset.”

“Max said Chrissy was upset too.” Dustin linked the information.

“Yeah, but not here.” She corrected him. “She was crying in the bathroom at school.”

“Serial killers stalk their prey before strike, right? So, maybe Fred and Chrissy saw this Vecman…” Robin 

“Vecna.” Dustin corrected.

“I don’t know about you guys, but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone.” Steve said.

“Maybe they did.” It was Max's turn again. “I saw Chrissy leaving Ms. Kelley’s office. If you saw a monster, you… you wouldn’t go to the police. They’d never believe you. But you might go to your…”

“Your shrink.” Robin concluded.

She hadn't even said the last letter and everyone was already getting up and walking to the car again, Nancy weirdly going in a different direction.

“Whoa, whoa. Nance. Nance!” Steve shouted for her and everyone stopped on their tracks. “Nance, where are you going?” he walked to her.

“Oh, there’s just something I wanna check up on first.” She said, still walking to the car.

“Something you wanna share with the group?” Dustin said.

“I don’t wanna waste your time. It’s a real shot in the dark.” She tried to get everyone off her.

“Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind? Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the loose?” Steve complained. “No, it’s too dangerous. You need… You need someone to…”

He stuttered with the look she gave him and you were almost laughing, that’s until you spotted keys being thrown your way and you caught them by a miracle.

“I’ll stick with Nace, right? Take the car, check out the shrink.”

You looked at Robin, baffled and a bit hurt, but she only rolled her eyes and whatever Steve was doing. “I’m going with him so he doesn’t do anything stupider than this.”

“Take care, you three.” Was all you could shout before just turning around taking back the mission from where you stopped.

And that’s how you were stuck in the car with Dustin and Max and driving Steve’s car without Steve there. The other three had gone into Nancy’s car towards whatever clue Nancy was following and left you with the kids.

To be fair, being with the kids was easy, you were used to it for the past years. Saving Dustin and Erica from evil Russians, protecting Max, Lucas and also Dustin against “demodogs”, that was something you knew you were good at because the kids being alive meant something.

But you felt ashamed for being hurt by Steve running away from your side at the first opportunity. You shouldn’t be feeling like that and you knew, the break up was already about eight months into the past and you should be over it.

There was no being over Steve Harrington, it seemed.

“Here?” You asked Max when you parked the car in front of a house you never saw before.

She nodded to you. “I’m going in, wish me luck.”

With Dustin with you in the front seat you were afraid about where the conversation might go, so you just kept quiet, resting your head against the steering wheel.

“She’s in.” Dustin informed you and you nodded your head, almost hitting your nose at the steering wheel because you didn’t want to lift it up — this Upside Down business was getting more tiresome every year. 

The silence was perfect for you, but apparently not to Dustin since he felt the urge to interrogate you. “So, we're gonna talk about… it?”

“What?” You turned to look at him, seeing his pretty serious face and you had no idea about what he wanted to say.

“About the hurt face you made?” He said but you were still confused. “When Steve tossed you the car keys and went to uncover the mysteries of this town with Nancy Wheeler?”

“You’re seeing things, Dustin.”

“No, there were a lot of witnesses. I’m pretty sure Robin saw it too.” He kept going. “So that leaves us with only one conclusion: you still love Steve.”

“You’re insane, kid.”

“And I’m still more aware of this than you.”

“Shut up!” You were starting to feel bothered by it.

“You know I’m right.”

“It’s not like Steve and I broke up because we didn’t love each other.” You whispered.

“What was that?” His ears picked up your little comment that added new information to the thing he never understood.

You see, Dustin Henderson might have made a huge drama off your break up with Steve but he had no idea about what truly happened the week before you moved out of Hawkins. He also had no idea about the nightmares and how what happened at the Russian Base hit Steve harder than any of you would’ve thought.

“I’m sorry, Dusty.” You said, this time you looked out of the window for a distraction. “I’m sorry but this doesn’t have to do with you. You don’t need to worry about me and Steve, we about what we were. There’s no going back for us and… and even though I do though there might be a chance it was crushed today, all right? So let’s just not talk about this again? Could you please do this for me?”

Dustin kept quiet for a second, a very long second considering it was him — damn, you loved the kid but sometimes he just tested your patience way too much. “You know, Steve’s still in love with you, right?”

You were leaning on the steering wheel again and all you could do was laugh a bit at the situation.

“As I said, the problem isn’t love.” And it was so true. The problem might actually be… Hawkins, you weren’t a hundred percent sure. How can things grow when there’s always a monster waiting  to get us after some months? “But you know, I wouldn’t be so sure about his feelings. I think Nancy is the one for him.” And how could you blame him?

“He just wants to protect a friend. A very stubborn friend.” You looked at him, holding back laughter. “I know you’re stubborn too, but you’re the most responsible babysitter when it comes to you both.”

You laughed a bit, trying to lighten up the mood. “Whatever, I…” You stopped talking when you saw Max running in the direction of the car, so you started the engine. “Here she comes.”

She opened and closed the door as fast as she could.

“What’d she say?” Dustin asked.

“Nothing, just drive.” She answered shortly.

“Nothing?” You turned to look at her, confused by the lack of information.

“Y/n, drive!”

“All right, let’s go.” You speed up to leave the house behind. “Where to?”

“To the school, we need to check the records there.” Max said.

“Well I never thought I’d be sneaking into Hawkins High after I graduated.” You whispered.

Dustin. Dustin, it’s Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin.

Well, it seemed Lucas Sinclair got into the picture.

…

Entering the school wasn’t too complicated, but being inside when it was all dark and no one was inside too was quite intimidating. Well, the school like that was intimidating but the reason why you were there might’ve had a huge say in that.

You and Dusting followed Max to Ms. Kelley’s room when his walkie came back to life again, but this time it was Robin talking.

Dustin, do you copy?

“Yeah, I copy.” He answered quickly without stopping the run inside the school.

So, Nancy's a genius. Vecna's first victims date back all the way to 1959. Her shot in the dark was a bull's-eye.

“Okay, that's totally bonkers, but I can't really talk right now.” He said and you pulled him to your side to make a turn in another corridor.

What are you doing?

“We’re breaking and entering into school to retrieve confidential and extremely personal files.” Dustin summarized it pretty well.

Can you repeat that?

You grabbed the walkie from his hand to answer. “Just get your asses over here as fast as you can and we'll explain everything.”

What’s going on?

This time it was Steve’s voice.

“A lot, just come here.” You said again. “Bye.”

Giving Dustin the walkie back you entered inside the room right after Max and ran for the archives that you hoped held some of the answers you were all looking for.

“It's like a mini-Watergate or something.” Dustin said. “Hawkinsgate.”

You ignored looking at the files that Max was going through. 

“Oh, no.” You whispered.

“You found it?” Dustin walked closer to see it.

“Yeah, and not just Chrissy's file. Fred was seeing Ms. Kelley too.” Max explained it, walking to the table and opening the file to read.

You and Dustin got behind her and pointed the flashlights, going through the symptoms of whatever happened to Fred and Chrissy.

“Can I see Fred’s file?” She asked and you caught it for her.

The information was quite similar: nosebleeds, nightmares, PTSD, headaches… All of those were repeated on both files. “That’s not looking good. Max, can you pass me that other page?” You asked but she didn’t respond. “Max?”

She was freezed, you couldn’t call her and couldn't reach for her. You and Dustin started shaking her desperately and she was still in the same position and looking at the same place.

In some sort of… trance.

You were desperate, shaking and shouting, trying to do anything besides swelling into the panic that was already reaching for you. Some time while you and Dustin were trying to wake her up you felt an arm in your shoulder, only seconds before Max blinked back to reality.

“Hey, hey! You’re here, you’re here.” You said more like trying to ground yourself than her, but you squeezed her hands anyway. She was there.

The hand that was still on your shoulder was gone, but soon you felt arms surround you and bring you up to your feet, this time you were squeezed against someone’s chest and you were glad for it. The smell was too easy to recognize, Steve kept you there until your breath was normal again and it wasn’t long until you were back too.

Looking around you were glad everyone was worried about Max, too worried to notice your little slip of control. That was the last thing anyone needed in this situation.

“Thank you.” You whispered, back still pressed against him for comfort, your hands were free by your sides but you leaned your head back on his shoulder.

Just a quiet sign to show him it was okay.

…

After Starcout and everything it brought to Hawkins it wasn’t so hard to have trouble sleeping. Being held captive in a Russian Base also wasn’t in your top 3 best experiences in life.

When you jumped awake on that warm summer night you weren’t even surprised anymore, getting up to get a glass of water in the middle of the night had become a routine for you. At least you were happy the screaming had stopped, so Steve wasn’t awoken by your night terrors — even if he was sometimes by his own demons.

The water filling the glass up had a calming effect and, as you drank it, you felt more at ease but it wasn’t enough to bring back your sleep.

That’s when you felt strong arms surround you and you stilled in fear for a second, just before melting in Steve’s embrace. He wasn’t one to talk in the middle of the night, like if his voice was used it’d ruin his sleep — and you could understand why he’d value any night when the thoughts gave a break. But the good part was that Steve Harrington didn’t need to say a word to comfort you, the feeling of his heartbeat against your back and the way his hands ran up and down your arms took the fear away.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, letting out a loud and deep breath. 

Following the previous night's schedule, Steve knew you were feeling better so he guided you back to his room in small lazy steps. All until you were tucked under the sheets with him and were almost drifting off again, even if you swore you wouldn’t close your eyes ever again.

He has that effect.

…

“It was here.”

Great, you had zoned out again. Steve wasn’t hugging you anymore but his hand held yours tightly, he was probably the one who guided you out of Ms. Kelley’s room.

“Right here.” Max pointed at the empty wall.

“A grandfather clock?” Nancy asked.

“It was so real. And then, when I got closer, suddenly I just… I woke up.”

“It was like she was in a trance or something. Exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy.” Dustin explained, every word only left the atmosphere worse.

“That's not even the bad part.” Max turned to everyone and guided the group back to the room. “Fred and Chrissy, they both came to Miss Kelley for help. They both were having headaches. Bad headaches that wouldn't go away. And then… then the nightmares. They'd wake up in a cold sweat. Then they started seeing things. Bad things. From their pasts. These visions, they just… they kept on getting worse and worse, until eventually…” She stopped to take another deep breath. “Everything ended.”

“Vecna's curse.” Robin said.

“Chrissy's headache started a week ago. Fred's, six days ago. I've been having them for five days.” Max confessed it. “All I know is that, for Fred and Chrissy, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision. And I just saw that goddamn clock, so…”, she breathed shakily, “…looks like I'm gonna die tomorrow.”

You shook your head, wanting to say something until the terrible moment was interrupted by a noise in the corridors outside of the room. Without even thinking, you squeezed Steve’s hand, looking back at him with wide eyes. He squeezed it back, in that reassuring way he’d always do for you, just before letting it go.

“Stay here.” He said to everyone, grabbing a lamp close to the door and then walking out of the room.

You looked at the table and caught a scissors you found, following him out not only seconds before. The kids, Nancy and Robin also followed, everyone with that fear mixed with curiosity to see what the hell was waiting outside. A loud noise of a door being open and then echoes of steps came from the corridor that crossed the one you were into and everyone was prepared for an attack.

“It's me!” A voice you knew shouted.

“Lucas?” You exclaimed.

“It's me.” He said one more time just to be sure.

“Jesus, what's wrong with you, Sinclair?” Steve shouted. “I could've taken you out with this lamp!”

“Sorry, guys. Sorry.” He said breathing too heavily. “I was… I was biking for eight miles. Give me a second. Shit.” Lucas took some more breaths before following. “We've got a code red.”

And anyone would think things couldn’t get worse, but you had Jason Carver to thank for that one.

[sardonic-the-writer]

━"Self Aware"

━Markiplier

━Tw: None

━Note: By (un)popular demand, here's the fic from the idea I had!

━Song: "Fallen Down" By Toby Fox

Mark bit his tounge in between his teeth lightly as he fiddled with his camera, the room behind him ready for recording.

It was late Sunday. The day had been long and the last thing anyone would want to do was stay up longer. And yet while everyone else was settling into bed with bleary eyes and a feeling of dread for the work day tomorrow, here sat Mark preparing to play some horror games.

After a few seconds of feeling around for buttons and lights the device was up and ready to go. The man sat back with a sigh and a smile, finally pressing record as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to three. scary. games." He uttered the same sentence that he always began this series with, trusting Lixian to put in some scary effects towards the end of it later.

"Today were gonna starting out with 'Lonely Nights', a demo from some up and coming producers in the horror genre." Mark switched his attention to the game while doing his best to still speak close to the mic.

"A game in which you are home alone, defending yourself from the unknown." He read from the menu aloud. If Mark was being honest it sounded like any other game he had played for this video series. This just happened to be an experience he stumbled upon while searching Steam for some new content.

"Well-" The mouse clicked on the start button. "-let's get into it."

"Goddamn middle class family's and their goddamn middle class locks."

(Y/n) threw down the bobby pin, pissed as hell. The blisters lining the pads of their fingers made them wince slightly. They had forgotten their gloves at home. But it's not like the local police force around here checked for finger prints anyways. They were too busy sleeping at their desks to do any real work.

With a huff they rolled up the sleeves of the black hoodie they were wearing, already making their way around to a side fence and jumping it.

(Y/n) landed in the middle of an average suburban backyard. A rusty swing and thick oak tree was shoved against one side of the yard while a crusty sandbox lay on the other end, looking unused and worn from weather.

The scene reminded (Y/n) of the homes that they would pass on their way too and from school as a kid. They remembered looking in the windows of more fortunate family's, wincing at the way that they seemed to have everything handed to them on a silver platter whereas they were stuck with whatever they could gather.

Stealing from people wasn't exactly their first career choice growing up—in fact they had wanted to be a zombie killing ballerina—but when money got tight and rent too expensive, the art of knicking objects from middle class homes became second nature.

They never took anything that people would miss of course. Just small things like spare watches and food, maybe a twenty here and there.

Everytime they broke into a house, they told themself that it would be the last one. But eventually the bills would pile up again and they were back on a dark doorstep, lock pick in hand.

Making their way casually across the lawn as if they didn't just jump a metal fence into private property, (Y/n) went up to peek through one of the windows.

It was dark. As usual.

Sliding away from the glass pane, they thought they heard a sharp gasp from inside. Checking again, they didn't see anything.

Must have been the wind.

Grabbing the smooth doorknob of the nearby back door, they turned slowly to check.

"Huh. It's actually unlocked. That's a first." They mused to themself with a small smile. Anything to make this go faster they supposed.

Opening it with a creak, they stepped into the house.

Only to be met with a chair to the face.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD." Mark shrieked, hand quickly darting up to fix the headphones that had falled down his neck ever so slightly.

"WHAT IN THE FUCKING SHITTY BITCH TIT BALLS WAS THAT."

He had been playing the game for a while. It had started out fairly mundane; introducing the plot (he was a teenager home alone while his parents were out on a trip), teaching him the controls (WASD to move and mouse to look around), as well as displaying a rather realistic looking setting. If Mark didn't know this was a video game he would have mistaken it for really grainy footage of a real house.

But true to the horror title, it had slowly began to freak out Mark. The rattling front door had been a cliche move, as had the dark face in the back window, but allowing his character to hit the home intruder in the face with a chair? That was new.

"What the hell man! What was that for?"

The usual pixilated subtitles popped up allowing for an easy read. Mark cracked a small smile at the response, finding it amusing. He liked the little detail of the voice being a bit off since they did just get smashed in the face with a chair.

He waited for his own character to spit some code encrypted dialog back at the home intruder, but when nothing happened he tried speaking out. As a joke of course. To keep the viewers entertained.

"Well I mean, you did you break into the house."

He was shocked when the games figure snorted back at him.

"Yeah, but shouldn't you like, call the cops or something? Hide under a bed? At least hit me with a baseball bat. But a wooden chair? Seriously man I think I have splinters up my nose now."

Mark was thoroughly stunned. Was this part of the game? I mean, it had seemed pretty advanced before, but he wasn't sure if voice activation had been invented into these types of things yet. And how did they know what to say in response to him? Wouldn't it just be limited to four generic answers or whatever?

"I'm just going to uh, leave." Mark heard after a stretch of silence, and he watched as the source of the voice slowly inched for the door.

"Wait! Uh, aren't you going to rob me? Scare me o-or something?"

They paused.

"Do you want me to?" They asked. Mark sat stunned as they listened to the genuine confusion in their voice.

Damn that was some good voice acting.

Out of all the houses (Y/n) had robbed, this was by far the strangest experience. And they had walked in on a dog humping a lamp before so that was saying something.

The person before them looked like he had just rushed out of bed. His hair was all pushed to one side like he had been sleeping on the right side of his face, and a polka dotted robe encased his figure. It was the bunny slippers that tied it all together in (Y/n)s opinion though. A real fashion forward guy.

"I mean, uh not really. No I don't want you to scare me." He croaked, answering their last question.

(Y/n) blinked.

"Then why in the hell did you basically ask me to."

They watched as he threw his hands in the air, a confused sound slipping from his lips.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do or something? Rattle a few doorknobs, make loud stomping sounds and then jump scare me!?"

"And why in the hell would I do that." They deadpanned back at him.

His jaw opened and closed like a gaping fish while they just quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah you're insane." (Y/n) said while picking at the hem of their hoodie nonchalauntly. "But I mean I guess I have to get used to people like you if I'm gonna do this for a living." They mumbled sourly. He let out a offended 'hey!' but they just continued to ignore them.

Shrugging, they decided to get out of there before he came to his wits and rushed to call the cops. Thank god they had remembered to flip their hoodie up so it shielded their face before walking on in. It didn't do anything to soften the blow of that chair though that's for sure.

"This is by far the weirdest game I've played in a while." (Y/n) heard the stranger say as they bolted out of their.

What a weird guy.

They liked him.

[wincore]

romeo roulette | jung yoonoh

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

summary: if finding your soulmate is the same as a damn game of russian roulette, you are determined to not pull the trigger at all. except, you know who your soulmate is and he doesn’t—and given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear.

genre: soulmate au, office au, fake dating, fluff (a lot), angst (a little), romcom, magical realism (??)

words: 21.2k

warnings: language

song recs: playlist here !

a/n: behold ! a kdrama compressed in a fic ! ok i was lying there was more than a little angst but all in good fun <3 i have never experienced working in an office (thanks to the panny) but i tried making it as accurate as i could !! hope you have fun with this <3

It’s not that you’ve never been looked at with a lover’s gaze, it’s just that whatever look Jaehyun has been giving you is mildly uncomfortable. It’s not supposed to be that way. Hell, even his hand clasping yours are a little too clammy for your liking.

Jung Yoonoh. Get your act together.

You wish he were a better actor than this. For someone used to eyes on him in each and every room he’s in, he’s not very good at making eye contact. You’ll be saving this performance. Not to stroke your own ego but at least you know how to behave under strong gazes.

There are three people staring at the two of you and your fingers intertwined, scrutinizing your postures and the expressions on your faces. Maybe Jaehyun should face them instead of glancing at you wordlessly. He’s a terrible liar for someone who acts so smooth. 

You look up with a short smile. The aforementioned three are your coworkers—former class rep at uni and your current boss Doyoung, your friend Soojin and Jaehyun’s friend Sicheng from IT. None of them look happy—like it concerns them. If there was a competition for nosy coworkers, this entire group would be winning awards left and right (and that’s including you). 

They’re going to find out, an annoying voice giggles inside the quiet corner of your brain. Like hell, they will. You didn’t take up acting lessons in college for nothing. You just need to focus on the details.

This whole charade dates its beginning to a week ago. 

If someone were to tell you Jung Yoonoh from marketing is your soulmate, you would most certainly either laugh or take it as a genuine insult. Hence, you were glad when you found that he isn’t. 

It was an accident. You had glimpsed at his soulmark, right below his collarbone, at a particularly wild office afterparty—and somehow, you thought it was fitting that his tattoo was a little red heart. For someone born on Valentine’s day (which you know from a night out with coworkers, not because you’re remotely interested), if his soulmark was not something as disgusting as a heart, it would be the textbook definition of irony. But then again, fate is a funny thing. Your soulmark is a heart roughly the same size, with a little more intricacy in the form of a piercing arrow.

Despite all, however, if someone were to ask you if Jung Yoonoh is the worst person to be your soulmate, the answer is no. You can name at least five coworkers off the top of your head that you’d choose him over. You would choose him over Doyoung (and especially his nagging), you would choose him over Taeyong because he’s too hot and you also don’t like men in a higher position than you are, you would choose him over Jungwoo because you suspect he’s secretly a furry. Jaehyun is certainly better than your deskmate Dongmin who, despite an angelic smile, is: a) too distant to make actual conversation with, and b) in a relationship despite being your soulmate. Sweet-tempered Dongmin doesn’t even know it’s you. You’d love to be the bearer of bad news but this one—you’re not exactly ready for it yourself.

So that’s the explanation for why you hunted down Jaehyun and in a desperate attempt to not seem pathetic, coerced him into a role that has carefully picked benefits for either of you. You just have to bite the bullet sometimes.

“And I get what out of this?”

“Me? Temporarily, that is.”

Jaehyun laughs in amusement and you drop your smile, almost offended. If you were a gift, you’d certainly be an attractive, spicy, hot one—he doesn’t have to look at you so incredulously. In a neat business suit, Jaehyun is as kempt as ever though his tie could do with some more work.  As an HR assistant, his appearance pleases you. However as a person, the perfection annoys the hell out of you. He could show himself to be more human. It would make your job (both the actual and the metaphorical) easier.

“I’m leaving,” he announces with a nonchalant exhale. “You keep messing around during work hours like this and people are going to think you’re jobless.”

“Wait!” 

You jog up to him and block his path, crossing your arms as you huff at his indignance. 

“I said no,” he repeats, and when he tries to evade you, you push him back with your palm flat against his chest. Jaehyun doesn’t show any more discomfort than usual, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You haven’t found your soulmate, right?” you say, taking a deep breath. If you have to resort to psychological warfare, so be it.

His smile wavers and he straightens, no longer leaning against the printer desk. “No. How does that matter?”

“It matters because you’re going to be my pretend-soulmate. Now, don’t be a pussy.”

He opens his mouth and closes it, furrowing his eyebrows. “You can’t always trick me into doing what you want.”

“I’ll ask Doyoung if you say no.”

“See—enough with the tricks, they don’t work anymore. I’ve known you for two years.”

“I really will ask him.”

“Not convincing enough. You don’t even talk to Doyoung outside work.”

You groan into your hand, taking a few moments to come up with another plan. How is your obvious charisma not enough? You certainly can’t tell him how rejected you feel with the whole Dongmin situation even if his rejection hasn’t officially come yet. It’s too embarrassing for a grown adult to go through. You don’t mind being lonely for the rest of your life if you’re successful. There’s a price tag on each decision you make anyway.

“I’ll treat you to lunch every day. I’ll pay.”

You cross your arms, tapping your foot in anticipation. They say the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Besides, Jaehyun hates spending his lunch money on himself. This ought to do something.

Jaehyun places his hand in front of his mouth in mock surprise. “Oh no, out of your beloved paycheck? That’s kind of scary, honestly.”

“Jaehyun. Stop messing around. I’m being serious.”

He purses his lips, hesitation across his face. You don’t like the way he thinks, with quiet, lost eyes and no clear giveaways on his lips.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

You smile in relief though you try somewhat to not let it show on your face. 

“On one condition.”

Your eyes dart across his face, nothing that tells what he might suggest next. You hate when you don’t get to decide on things.

“You have to come visit my family next month and pose as my soulmate—”

“No way.”

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.”

You stare at him, weighing the odds. 

“Fine,” you say finally, voice pitched in slight annoyance.

Jaehyun shrugs.

“But I tell my parents that I rejected you. Or they’ll come after you with a task force or something.”

You mutter the last part.

He grimaces, holding his breath for a good few seconds and then letting it go.

“Alright. It’s not like mine and your parents know each other—or will ever meet.”

“Fine then,” you say. “We have an agreement.”

“We have an agreement,” he repeats.

Now, back to more pressing matters. The people in front of you aren’t a stupid lot—even if you've seen Doyoung spend $500 on plush toys, seen Sicheng absentmindedly walk into a desk and pretend to not be in pain for the next five minutes and Soojin somehow convinced a senior to get her coffee because she thought he was an intern (in her defence, it worked). 

The only way is to act through. You clear your throat.

"We… we discovered it last week. Our signs match."

Technically, you drew an arrow with a permanent marker over Jaehyun's tattoo in an attempt to resemble yours. It's not awful, but perhaps not perfect. 

“Discovered? Like just happened to find out?” Doyoung asks.

“Isn’t Jaehyun’s on…” Soojin leans in to whisper hurriedly in your ear. “On his butt? Did you guys sleep together?”

You contort your face in disgust. “The what? What? Who told you that? And no.”

Soojin makes an ‘ah’ sound and leans back. “I should stop listening to office rumours then.”

"You should." You glare at her.

Sicheng is the only one without questions at the tip of his tongue but the look on his face worries you most. 

“I’ve never seen your tattoo, now that I think about it,” he muses, turning to Jaehyun. “Although we’re roommates.”

Jaehyun clears his throat, looking around with shifty eyes. "Why is… why is everyone looking so suspicious?"

"It's just… so sudden," Soojin says, looking around at the others.

"Yeah," Sicheng mutters.

"Soulmate fraud is a big deal too, you know that right?" Doyoung informs. "You could get put in jail."

You throw up your hands in exasperation. "Why would we pretend? We don't have any reason to. And, uh, you're sure about the jail thing?"

You look at Doyoung, hoping your question didn’t come off too squeaky. 

"You’re right,” he says, sighing. “It’s so unlikely for soulmates to work in the same company, let alone the same building.”

“Oh, yes, I’m so lucky,” you mutter under your breath.

Doyoung sighs. "Look, we're happy for you. It's just that… it's a little sudden."

"Literally what I just said," Soojin says.

"Literally what she just said," Doyoung agrees quickly, not wanting to pick a fight. Sometimes you wonder who the real boss is.

"Look, just because we don't even acknowledge each other or find each other remotely attractive or wouldn't even be each other's office Christmas card candidate—"

Jaehyun nudges your side with his elbow and gives you a look that seems a lot like "You're making it worse".

You clear your throat. "That's what happens to most soulmates! You think you're going to land the perfect one and boom. You get a chump from marketing."

Jaehyun makes a sound of protest. "I didn't want a snob from HR either."

The two of you glare at each other, and you find that clenching his jaw makes Jaehyun slightly (around 0.05%) more attractive, or at the very least more bearable to look at.

Doyoung gasps. "Okay, I get it. You're having adjustment issues. I know a guy for that. He's helped every newly found soulmate couple adjust with each other."

"We don't need that," you interrupt, offering your fakest smile.

"You do," Doyoung responds, his smile equally fake. "I'll drive you this weekend if you're free. He’ll give you one free session. No more, because we all know how capitalism works."

People have got to stop copying your fake smile. You wish you could have it copyrighted because after all, it’s the same smile that tricks interviewees into thinking they got the job. It’s not evil if you say it isn’t. You open your mouth, look at Jaehyun doing the same and when you can't come up with an excuse, give up and nod. 

"Don't look so resentful," Doyoung says, tone slightly complaining. "I'm not doing this as your boss. We were friends in college and I'm just doing you a favour. A friendly favour."

Soojin hums in deep thought. "I feel like this is some sort of nepotism."

"I feel like you should open a dictionary once in a while," Doyoung mutters, only to get a vaguely threatening look from Soojin.

"Anyway," Sicheng diverts, eyes curious when he turns to Doyoung. "Why did you call us here?"

"Ah." Doyoung's eyes widen. "I heard promotion rumours."

Sicheng lets out a loud huff of annoyance. "You summoned us here for company gossip?"

Doyoung crosses his arms. “So, you’re not interested?”

“Who said that?” Sicheng responds quickly, leaning in.

The five of you huddle closer in a circle, looking as conspicuous as a cult. 

“You guys know that Jinyoung’s leaving, right?” Doyoung starts.

Soojin gasps audibly only to get a smack on the arm from Doyoung. “Why’s he leaving? He's like employee of the month every month. ”

A few chuckles pass through the group at her discontentment from months of losing out on the title.

“I heard he found his soulmate. Lucky ass gets tax benefits too now,” Sicheng complains. “Why is he leaving?”

“Oh, look who’s interested in gossip now,” Soojin coos.

Sichengs turns red in the face and looks away, clearing his throat. “You’re gonna answer my question, Doyoung?”

“Oh! Right.” Doyoung looks up from a text. “He got rejected by his soulmate.”

Soojin covers her mouth this time when she gasps and you can’t say your jaw doesn’t drop as well. 

“Rejected? Like our picture-perfect Jinyoung got rejected?” you repeat, trying to process the information. “Please don’t tell me he decided to be an idiot and sign a mutual rejection.”

“No, he didn’t lose his senses,” Doyoung responds with a duh undertone. “He’s getting the compensation money.”

You sigh. “Man, I feel bad for him.”

Jaehyun hums in agreement. There’s a hush over the group and you feel fear rise in your chest. You don’t want to be rejected. You’ve seen how happy Dongmin looks with his girlfriend—he’d reject you in a heartbeat. Of course, you could just receive the compensation money from the one-sided rejection and get it over with but you refuse to. It hurts to not be wanted. It hurts to not be wanted by someone who’s supposed to want you. To be specific, it hurts your pride. Every time you see the damn arrowed heart on Dongmin’s wrist, which he tries so hard to cover with his watch, you feel like throwing up. You’re glad yours isn’t as easy to spot—resting right above your hip bone.

“Anyway, someone’s getting promoted to that HR specialist position.”

You gasp. “Is it me? It’s me, right?”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and you elbow him. “What’s with you?”

“Don’t get too excited,” he says, shrugging. “Isn’t it stupid to get your hopes up over a rumour?”

Doyoung breathes out. “Wow, (name) really sucked the life out of you, Jaehyun.”

You glare at him when Soojin breaks into a fit of laughter. “You- you know what that- you know what that sounds like, right?”

Your face contorts into disgust and you shake your head. “Let’s be more professional, alright, Soojin?”

She clears her throat and straightens her clothes, like a teenager being reprimanded. “I’m your senior. It’s embarrassing when you say that to me.”

Jaehyun speaks up and turns to you. “I think lunch break is almost over.”

You raise an eyebrow. “So?”

“You’re forgetting something.” He smiles, dimples showing, but his eyes come off menacing.

“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You forgot about that stupid lunch promise. 

“Hey. Professional,” Soojin warns.

You groan and link your arm through Jaehyun’s, making him bite back a smile. What is it with men and getting weirdly happy about lunch?

“We’re gonna go get lunch,” you announce.

“Ooh, (name)’s ditching quality time with coworkers for dates now,” Soojin coos.

You roll your eyes and exit the office, stopping to wait in front of the elevator.

“I think that went well,” Jaehyun says, shrugging lightly.

“Shh. What if they hear us?”

“Do you think they’re X-men? We’re a long corridor and closed doors away.”

You huff, crossing your arms. “Still…”

Jaehyun’s smug smile makes you want to smack it right off and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt this way with him. You swear he’s not as bad as some of the guys you’ve met but Jaehyun is simply annoying. An A grade nuisance. You can trust him though. If Soojin says he’s a reliable guy, you’ll believe her—she doesn’t bluff when it comes to seeing right through men, though she does have a tendency to believe stupid rumours.

“Your acting was shit though,” you snipe.

Jaehyun lets out a low sardonic laugh. “At least I was subtle when I was messing up.”

You cross your arms and huff. “You know what? You can take the next elevator ride.”

“Huh?”

You step into the elevator just as the doors open and quickly jam your finger to the close doors button. The look of betrayal on Jaehyun’s face is subtle but it’s enough to satisfy you. As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens—it’s very applicable to elevators. He can take the other one.

However, almost immediately after, the elevator doors open and you groan, opening your mouth to send a sarcastic congratulations to Jaehyun for pressing the button on time.

Your words hitch on your tongue. Dongmin greets the two of you with a smile, standing beside Jaehyun, who has his eyes averted from you.

“Hey,” Dongmin greets. “Congratulations. I heard the news.”

“Thanks,” you croak, clearing your throat with a bit of heat on your cheeks. Jaehyun looks like he might burst into a fit of laughter any moment and you shoot him a subtle glare.

“Where are you headed to?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m going to grab a sandwich from the cafeteria.”

“We’re also headed to the cafeteria,” Jaehyun declares, with a smile that’s almost devilish.

“No, we’re not,” you say quickly, making Dongmin raise an eyebrow. You hold back a groan. If only Dongmin weren’t raised to be the politest man you know and a little bit more of an asshole. 

You hum and turn to Jaehyun. “I told you about that new cafe. Remember, honey?”

Dongmin makes an ‘o’ with his mouth. “Nicknames, already? Ah, I’m so jealous. It must be great to get along with your soulmate.”

Oh, the sweet summer child that Dongmin is.

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “Oh, won’t it take too long, darling? We have—”

He makes a show of checking his Rolex, a gift he received from his superior that he spares no chance to flex.

“—Around ten minutes left.”

You hold back a groan and plaster on your smile. “Come on. Now is the best time.”

“That sounds like a load of—”

You elbow Jaehyun hard in the gut and a restrained sound dies in his throat, eyes widening in the sweet look of discomfort taking over his features. You smile triumphantly and turn to Dongmin with an immediate change of expression.

“I’ll see you in office later,” you say, bowing slightly.

Dongmin nods and gets off on the fifth floor. You watch in quiet relief as the elevator door closes and turn to your dear companion, irked.

“Did you have to do that?” Jaehyun asks, voice raspy with pain.

“You deserved it. Don’t you dare make this a bigger mess than it already is.”

“You came up with it.” Jaehyun straightens, finally. Apart from the few loose strands of his neatly parted hair, he doesn’t seem all that disgruntled.

“And we’re going to set some ground rules,” you declare, closing your arms.

Jaehyun straightens to his full height, the space between the two of you diminishing. 

"Okay," he agrees. "Then we both get a say in it. It's a contract, after all."

"Fine. First rule, no being weird around Dongmin."

Jaehyun chuckles. "I think you need to be more careful about that than I do."

You pat his cheek. "Focus. Just don't- don't be around him for too long."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "Why are you so uncomfortable around him? I thought you were doing this because you didn't want to reject him."

You glance away, feeling uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. I just don't want him to know."

Jaehyun hums. "Fine. My turn. No calling me a chump."

Your cheeks puff up as you try to contain your laughter. "It bothered you that much, huh?"

Jaehyun furrows his brows. "No one's ever called me that before. It's always 'oh my god, he's so handsome, who is he?' or 'ooh, I might faint from how hot he is'."

You giggle. "Alright, handsome."

Jaehyun exhales, his puffed cheeks making him look like a resentful five year old instead of a grown man with a professional job. You pause before you get back on track.

“No nicknames,” you blurt. “It’s weird when you call me something endearing. And your flirting feels kind of threatening.”

“What do you mean, baby?”

“See! You’re doing it again.” You cross your arms at the look on his face; anything close to victorious over Jaehyun’s features is unbearable to you.

He raises his arms in exasperation. “How are we supposed to make this work if we act like we don’t care about each other. Guess why Doyoung’s taking us to couple therapy?”

You huff, slightly pissed off. “You’re saying it was my fault?”

“I’m saying we could have avoided that with better acting.”

“You think you’re so—”

The elevator door opens with a ding on the first floor and you turn to find a bunch of interns back from their lunch break. It would be much less of an awkward affair if you and Jaehyun weren’t well into each other’s personal spaces, noses almost touching and with a mutual glare which could be easily mistaken for a look of something more sensual. You jump away from Jaehyun and leave the elevator as fast as you can, feeling far too conscious of yourself. With long strides, you exit the corporate airs of the building to a sunny, fairly populous sidewalk. 

Jaehyun catches up to you, bending and trying to catch a glimpse of your face with an incredulous smile over his.

“Don’t say a word, Yoonoh.”

“Ooh, you’re saying my name now.”

“This isn’t funny!”

“I find it plenty funny.”

“That’s because of your trash sense of humour.”

“Mhm.”

“Don’t look so smug.”

Mondays are the days that make you want to scream in agony, not Thursdays—though they are pretty high up on the worst days of the week list. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe pretending to be in love with someone you simply cannot be in love with is an awful idea. 

Soulmates don’t need to be in love with each other, you think to yourself. There’s plenty of soulmates who are just in it for the financial benefits; you can just pretend to be one of them. This dilemma is starting to fray your nerves and Jung Yoonoh, with his lax disposition and dimpled cheeks, is making it worse. And to top it off, you now have to take him to your favourite (kind of secret) cafe in the name of the lies that slipped your tongue. It was supposed to be a quiet comfort spot for you.

You blow a puff of air out and dismiss the thought. Comfort spots aren’t real anyway when you’re all grown. There’s bound to be a breach. 

However, you will not let the (lacking) romance department of your life get sorted out by someone who doesn’t even know you. Lady luck would be an acquaintance to you at most. If fate is a game of chance after all, you might as well be the one spinning the roulette. You look at Jaehyun, piecing together the perfect plan for this seemingly frivolous play-pretend. The game is in your hands now. 

You blink at the figure of Jung Yoonoh under February sunlight on a modestly busy sidewalk. It’s not something to be surprised at—however, the stark contrast in attire makes you stare longer than you intend to. Wearing a black graphic hoodie and pair of worn out jeans, Jaehyun looks about as casual as you can bear. It’s always weird to see coworkers out of formal clothing.

“Are you just going to stare at me till Doyoung comes and picks us up?” he asks. 

You roll your eyes. 

“You look nice,” he says, and you glance down at your outfit with a flush of heat over your cheeks. It’s just a short A-line skirt, stockings and a sweatshirt. This is as basic as you get. What’s worse is that his comment didn’t sound sarcastic.

“You- You look nice too. I guess.” Once in a while, you will say something extremely stupid and pretend it never happened. The frequency increases around Jaehyun for some damn reason.

“You guess? I’m pretty sure I look more than nice.”

“And how long did you look at yourself in the mirror and practise catchphrases this time?”

Jaehyun’s ears turn the shade of cherries and you press down your smile. You knew that time you caught him talking to himself in front of a car window would play to your advantage. 

“What’s that you’re holding?” you ask, eyeing the plastic bag he’s holding.

“Ginseng,” he answers, staring blankly at the cars passing by. “I heard the couples therapist is in his sixties so he might find it useful.”

“Oh, old people stuff,” you muse quietly. “That’s quite thoughtful of you.”

You should’ve brought something, you think for a moment before realizing that couples probably don’t give separate gifts. 

“Thanks,” you mutter.

He raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

You shake your head. “Anyway, we might as well kill some time. Twenty questions. Let’s go.”

He laughs. “What are we, in college?”

You wrinkle your nose. “Don’t make us sound like we’re thirty. I bet you’re the kind of guy who has his retirement plan figured out.”

“Wrong,” he emphasizes, face leaning closer. 

“Fine. I’ll start the questions, you unsalted block of butter. How many relationships have you been in?”

Jaehyun opens his mouth and closes it, ears turning red. “That’s your first question?”

You roll your eyes. “Okay. I’m guessing it’s single digit and on the lower side.”

He rolls his eyes. “How many relationships have you been in?”

You shut your mouth. There’s a moment of silence, a breeze passing you by, carrying winter away in its arms to make room for spring. 

“Never found a relationship worth it,” you mutter, glancing away. 

Jaehyun hesitates before opening his mouth. “Me neither.”

“Good thing for us, eh? Love makes people crazy.”

Jaehyun faces you with a clipped smile. Never did you think Jaehyun from marketing would be relating to you on a personal matter.

“Oh, but I’ve had enough hookups and I can bet you’re mediocre at best in bed.” 

Jaehyun glares at you. “I am not and I can prove it to you.”

“Is that an invitation into your bed? No, thanks.”

He opens his mouth to retort but is interrupted by the Hyundai Grandeur pulling up to the sidewalk and rolling down the driver window to reveal Doyoung. He looks as overworked as usual, but his eyes are more tired, a bit of makeup covering the dark circles. You’ve heard his soulmate is a makeup artist for an idol group and wonder how they even came to be. Does fate throw darts randomly and pick its choice?

“Get in. Quick,” Doyoung instructs. “I have to drop you off and head home. My family is visiting. I didn’t even get a warning and they think I’m in a gay relationship with Taeyong because we still have our friendship rings from college.”

You want to laugh and agree but Doyoung looks rather pissed off so you hold it in. The two of you do as told, getting in the backseat and shutting the doors in sync. The car smells rather leafy mingling with the scent of fresh clothes and you eye the jar dangling from the rear-view mirror. You open your mouth to ask what scent that is when Doyoung’s voice rings out.

“What’s that?” Doyoung signals to the bag with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun looks down. “Ginseng extract.”

“Oh, the gift pack?” Doyoung asks. 

Jaehyun nods and Doyoung chuckles, shaking his head. “If that’s for Mr. Lee, forget it. He hates gifts. Something about inward appreciation and shit.”

Jaehyun groans, massaging his forehead. “What do I do with this then? Is this guy a priest?”

“Give it to Doyoung,” you suggest. “His family’s visiting.”

You hear an audible hum of approval from the driver seat and turn to Jaehyun making a face of reluctance. Maybe he isn’t so magnanimous after all, you think smiling.

“You’re both quite tame today,” Doyoung remarks, just when the silence is starting to swallow the inside of the car. “Makes me wonder if you need Mr. Lee after all.”

“We actually don’t…” You shake your head. “We’re here and it’s free so why not?”

Jaehyun shoots you a questioning look. It’s not like you can cancel when you’re in Doyoung’s car and already on the way. You’ve known your boss long enough to know the wrong answer to his questions. You look outside at Seoul streets and sigh. 

Jaehyun looks at you, your focus elsewhere and wishes this would end already. He has no idea what overcame him to accept your ridiculous offer but he must be just as ridiculous. At the very least, he finds you quite lovely to look at—not that he’d ever admit it to you. The foundation to this weird bickering friendship (if he can call it that) would be ruined by that. His ego, however, has been boosted up a few notches from the fact that you called him for help. He looks outside the window, holding back a smile. It’s a sunny day.

The therapist, Mr. Lee’s office building is a fancy one with an even fancier lobby. Baby pink leather couches cushion your bum nicely as you wait for your appointment. The architecture is that of a corporate firm and you feel quite at home with the large glass walls by the revolving door. This therapist guy must be rich as hell. The receptionist wears a formal uniform; her blouse is light pink with a grey pencil skirt and you like the look of it. You wonder if asking her where she bought it is time-appropriate. More couples sit around you and you, unfortunately, have to scoot closer to Jaehyun as a result. You do not want to catch that disease they all have. Why are they even here for therapy if they’re smiling at each other in that sickly enamored way? 

Now that you’re here, you’re starting to feel that this arrangement was ill-decisive. You should’ve done a better job of acting. You wonder if you can get a refund for that college course on acting, pouting as the ticking wall clock gets on your nerves. Even the marble floors are pink; the walls are mahogany red and there’s a heart-shaped wall clock, and should you glance around more, you’re going to nauseate yourself. This guy certainly takes his job seriously—or just really likes pink-red themes.

A woman in her early thirties exits the elevator and announces your names, and you click your tongue at the fact that she used Jung for your surname. It sounds distasteful. 

You follow her, starting to get nervous. You really hope this Mr. Lee isn’t as good as Doyoung says he is. Your fraud falling apart within three days is too embarrassing a defeat, not to mention bordering on illegal if found out. What the fuck does the government care about broken hearts and beneficial relationships? It’s so nosy. You understand the financial situation in case of happily bonded soulmates but apart from that, there really shouldn’t be this much discrepancy in the name of love.

Love drives people crazy. You’d rather not lose your good sense in the name of something so inane. After all, money makes the world go around, not love. 

Restricting a gag at the deep red heart on the door, you push them open with Jaehyun to find an old man sitting on a similar baby pink couch as in the lobby. He gets up to greet the two of you, the wrinkles on his face deepening when he smiles. Despite everything, he has a sort of grace to him, the one that comes with growing old elegantly. An upbeat song plays on a record player attached to the wall, although at a very low volume, and the tune reminds you of Animal Crossing. 

“Doyoung told me about the two of you,” Mr. Lee says, gesturing at the two of you to sit down. “How long has it been since you found out?”

“Six days,” you answer at the same time Jaehyun answers, “Four days”.

The two of you look at each other.

“Four-Six days. We didn’t keep track.”

“Ah,” Mr. Lee says. “How do you propose to celebrate your anniversary?”

You hesitate opening your mouth and declaring that you don’t really need to do that crap. Mr. Lee notices your expression and breaks into gentle laughter. 

“I’m kidding. Anniversary dates don’t matter,” he laughs. “It’s okay to celebrate your 100-day on the wrong day. Don’t worry.”

You purse your lips. To your dismay, Jaehyun isn’t as bothered by the sickly pink environment and Mr. Lee’s relaxed demeanour.

“I have a hundred percent success rate,” Mr. Lee assures the two of you, looking directly at you.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” you mutter under your breath and get a nudge from Jaehyun, who has his politest smile on.

You can’t believe Jaehyun has a better customer service mode than you do. If you didn’t know him, you’d be fooled into thinking he’s the nice guy character every office has. Unfortunately, that one goes to Dongmin. You hate getting stuck with nice guys (unless they offer financial stability).

“I think Doyoung might have been exaggerating,” Jaehyun explains calmly. “Whatever he told you.”

“He told me the two of you have a bickering problem. And staring at each other when the other isn’t looking.”

You cough. “That is not true. The staring part.”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes at you. “I knew you were checking me out,” he mutters.

You roll your eyes. “Keep dreaming, Jaehyun.”

Mr. Lee laughs. “Your bickering seems to be quite affectionate. I don’t know what that boy was worried about.”

You press your lips together into a thin smile, annoyed that anyone would ever describe your interaction with a man as affectionate. It makes you feel like an idiot. You were always better off alone—the universe was wrong to assign Dongmin to you. Maybe you needed to see the apparent love of your life clearly in love with someone else to snap you to reality.

“However, what is a playful lover’s fight in the beginning can turn into real fights.”

“Right,” you mutter. “It’s all fun and games in the beginning.”

“The two of you have almost no animosity—you’ve known each other before you discovered the soulmark, right?”

The two of you nod, having already reconciled yourselves to this session. It’s a one-time thing, you tell yourself. It will be over soon.

“The soulmate information shouldn’t influence the relationship you already had. If anything, it should be drawing you closer. First time awkwardness is common.”

He’s starting to sound a lot like your high school sex ed teacher. You get the idea to pretend to be sick and get out of this early.

“Company policy too,” Jaehyun mutters. “Unofficial company policy makes office romance out to be some sort of sacrilege.”

“You know, I was the CEO of your company so I do know the policies,” Mr. Lee says, smiling in the confident, reserved way senior citizens offering wisdom do. 

You choke on the water you were taking a sip of, a coughing fit overcoming you and Jaehyun hesitates before awkwardly patting your back.

“Huh? CEO? I’m sorry?” you manage. 

Mr. Lee lets out a loud, hearty laugh. “I stepped down two years ago.”

“That’s when I joined,” you and Jaehyun say at the same time.

Mr. Lee smiles at the two of you wordlessly. “I have an idea for the two of you. Why don’t you try turning your ‘I’s into ‘we’s? Do some activities together and when you talk about it, you’ll find yourself much closer.”

You narrow your eyes. “You know, Mr. Lee, I’m a little curious about your relation with the company—”

“My recommendations won’t help you get promotions faster.”

“Dammit.”

Jaehyun chuckles beside you but a glare from you turns it into a suppressed smile. The one thing that wouldn’t be a waste of time opened its door and closed it right back. 

“But you know how promotions work,” you press, leaning forward.

An alarm rings, so pleasant in tone that you know it’s a Samsung. Unfortunately, it’s the ugly flip model and you question Mr. Lee’s taste (and wealth).

“Oh, look, time’s up,” Mr. Lee announces, and you think you catch a hint of nervousness in his voice. 

Jaehyun springs up before his ears turn red, embarrassed by the gusto with which he himself got up and looks at you expectantly. You get up, sighing.

“Next time, Mr. Lee,” you warn. “I will get those details.”

“I charge by the hour.” He smiles.

“Stop threatening the therapist,” Jaehyun mutters to you, taking your arm and turning to leave.

“Oh, and,” Mr. Lee calls. “It’s always better to be honest than to pretend.”

You blink in surprise when Jaehyun tugs at your arm, bowing in thanks and leaving the room with you.

“Was it just me or did he see through us?” you whisper to Jaehyun.

He shakes his head, whispering back, “There’s no way he could tell. He’s probably referring to something else.”

“Like what?”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer.

“Tell me, are you always so domineering towards strangers even?” he asks. “I just thought you liked to press my buttons because I’m easygoing.”

You scoff. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not as cool as you think you are, especially since you get so hot and bothered by me.”

“It’s just you,” he whispers earnestly and your pulse rises. “No one else.”

You cough to kill the awkward silence and walk faster to the elevator. Jaehyun follows at a leisurely pace and it’s never occurred to you before but the sound of someone’s footsteps can also be annoying, proof currently standing beside you.

The elevator doors open, and much to your appallment, a young couple happens to be full blown making out inside the elevator, hands where there certainly shouldn’t be in broad daylight. Jaehyun whips his face away, clearing his throat loud enough for the couple to detach themselves from each other and hurriedly exit, fixing their clothes on the way.

“So he wasn’t lying about the success rate,” Jaehyun states quietly, a look of resigned horror on his face.

You can’t even respond for a few moments, following him into the elevator and shaking your head to get rid of the thought that inevitably jams itself inside your head. It might have a point, however.

"Maybe we should kiss too," you think out loud.

Jaehyun stiffens, looking at you with wide, fearful eyes. "No."

"We have to kiss, we're dating!" You exclaim, hands on your hips.

"We're not actually—ah, whatever. It’s not worth bickering with you."

"Why? Afraid you'll fall in love with me?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, and you’re suddenly aware that your bickering keeps drawing you closer to each other, your faces nearer than you’d realized.

"If anything," he starts with a confident smile. "You better not fall in love with me."

"Oh, please. You're taking this way too seriously."

"You're the one that wants to kiss me."

Your cheeks heat up. "You're- I- That's not—argh, fuck you."

Jaehyun looks smug, and you have the unstoppable urge to punch it off his face. You take a deep breath. Violence is not the way, (name).

“If we were a few years younger, you’d be begging for mercy under me,” you seethe.

Jaehyun’s eyes shift over your face in confusion, ears burning bright red with each passing second. Before he can open his mouth, you let out a short yell.

“Not like that, you pervert,” you say, leaning away from him. 

“I didn’t even say anything. On an unrelated note, were you a delinquent in school?”

You roll your eyes. “Kind of. I had a temper and a sharp tongue.”

“And now you’re a people pleaser. That’s quite the development.”

You smack his shoulder. “You’re getting on my nerves, punk.”

He makes an ‘oh’ with his mouth before smiling. “You totally did the delinquent accent.”

“I’m guessing you were the shy, little boy who flushed red at conversations about kissing.”

Jaehyun clears his throat in annoyance. “I was not. I was quite popular in high school and college, you know?”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “It’s that face of yours.”

“Sorry, what? I didn’t catch that.”

“Oh, look, we’re on the first floor.” You exit the elevator, leaving a puzzled Jaehyun to follow in stumbling steps.

“I don’t think Doyoung’s picking us up,” you state. “You take the bus? Or do you have a car to flex? I don’t ride in anything below a Tesla, unless it’s Doyoung because he’s technically my boss.”

“You’ll have to do with good old rented Hyundais,” he answers.

You exhale. Maybe he’s getting used to you. The bus stop is opposite the building, the structure squeaky clean and a bunch of people waiting on the seats. It’s a busy place and you wonder if the scammy-therapist-slash-your-former-ceo’s business has anything to do with that. You sit the first chance you get, shoulders pressed against Jaehyun’s for the lack of space and admiring the passing traffic. Seoul really just depends on the lenses you see through. Work days make the screen tinted grey and blue and you hate them often but some days, it’s good to experience those. Weekends are brighter, sunny and usually not with Jaehyun but he doesn’t really put a damper on them either.

You scan his side profile, a little envious when you realize that his confidence isn’t misplaced. You might have trained yourself to be more of a pleaser over the years but he’s the sort of person people come to like naturally. Moreover, his skin is perfect and his hair is always looking styled even in a mess. Fate and Life are partners in crime when it comes to being unfair.

Jaehyun turns to look at you and you snap your head to your lap, turning on your phone and staring at the homescreen for a good few seconds.

“Twenty questions,” Jaehyun announces. “Let’s play again. I’ll go first. Do you check me out when I walk away?”

“What is this, playing my own cards against me?” You scoff. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“So, yes or no?”

“Sometimes,” you mutter. “But it’s not the good kind of checking out. I’m checking out how terrible you look with your mess of a tie.”

Jaehyun laughs, the sound a hearty rumbling sort and you can’t help but smile back at that. It’s kind of cute when he laughs—the sound of it and the way his cheeks are dusted pink.

“My turn,” you say with a cheeky smile as you lean in to whisper. “Have you ever had a wet dream about me?”

Jaehyun chokes on air, coughing out the surprise as he stares at you dumfound. You stick the tip of your tongue out and throw him a wink, thoroughly enjoying this victory against him. It feels great to fluster someone like Jaehyun.

“No,” he says with clear emphasis. 

“Even the night you said I was so unbearably hot very loudly to Sicheng?”

Jaehyun leans back sighing, covering his face with his hand. “I was tipsy. And it was my first night out with coworkers. Give me a break.”

You giggle. “Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were worse incidents that night. An intern threw up on Doyoung’s shoes—I can’t even imagine the horror the poor girl experienced.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, smiling through his hand. 

“Have you ever sent nudes?” you ask, wiggling your eyebrows.

He sighs. “Maybe. Have you?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

He curls his lips. The answer seems to be no but you’re at least seventy percent sure he would be attracted to you in a world where your personality traits weren’t being nosy and annoying.

“Do you think you’re a good kisser?” Jaehyun asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Definitely.”

He scoffs, a smile tugging at his lips.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms.

He shrugs, leaning in slightly as though flirting (if he had the audacity). “We could test that.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “What happened to no kissing in the contract?”

“It’s not officially there.”

You roll your eyes, glancing away. “You know, I’m starting to believe you were some sort of desperate fuckboy in college.”

“I- I was the hottest dude on campus and if we went to the same college, you would be pining after me. I literally had the Campus Prince title and girls would follow me to see me in class.”

He crosses his arms, a frown tugging down his lips.

“Ooh, Jung Yoonoh’s getting fired up,” you say in a monotonous voice. “Wonder how many girls you pulled with your chewed up fuckboy dialogue.”

Jaehyun scoffs but he clearly finds your accusations amusing, as hinted by his unbothered smile. He asks a question again.

“What’s more important to you—truth or happiness?” 

The question catches you off-guard. Jaehyun’s eyes are delicately curious, nothing too strong and even so, you find yourself holding your breath under his gaze.

“Huh?”

“Twenty questions. We were playing?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“Right.” You clear your throat, rubbing the back of your hand. “I… I’d choose happiness, I think. I’m… I’m not sure.”

“Really?” He doesn’t look too hellbent on taking apart your answer so you breathe out. He’s starting to pry into you finally. “I think the truth will make you happier.”

“That’s not- that’s not always true.” You look away, hoping the quietness of your voice ends the conversation there. You don’t know how to talk about it—you never really have. You’ve ugly cried over the lack of your love life to a stranger after five shots of whiskey but you don’t think you can talk about things like this sober. You don’t even know why you answered. Jaehyun makes you feel oddly comfortable.

Jaehyun shrugs, getting up when the next bus halts in front. 

“What did you major in?” you ask, following him.

“Business,” he answers before thinking. “Kind of hated it. But I started out with IT and that was somehow worse.”

You gasp, taking a seat beside him on the bus. “I started with IT too! It was a nightmare. You took that Database Management course?”

Jaehyun smiles. “It was like the course equivalent of reading the back of a Wi-Fi Router.”

You laugh. Maybe he isn’t so different after all. 

“You know, you do look like a business major,” you hum, furrowing your brows as you pretend to scrutinise him.

“So, you’re indirectly saying I either look like a rich kid or a jackass.” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“They’re both the same thing.”

The laughter from the two of you makes an old woman behind you grunt in displeasure and the two of you apologize. It’s nice to talk like college kids again. The Seoul sunlight shines on Jaehyun’s face and you bite back a smile when his dimples appear. They aren’t all that bad. If you get along like this, there’s no reason to worry about fate and the universe and other superfluous things offered to you on a boring old ceramic plate. It’s a smooth ride.

Your eyes drift to Dongmin’s workspace instinctively and you shake your head. This is exactly why you were avoiding him and even started the entire fake relationship with Jaehyun. You’d choose fake dating a (good-looking) chump from management over embarrassment and possible heartbreak any day.

You groan internally before glancing again and find the desk empty. Surprised, you blink and turn only to scream at Dongmin’s figure behind you.

“Shh!��� he says urgently. “Don’t move. And don’t panic when I say this but there’s a bug on your shoulder.”

“What the fuck? Get it off, please,” you say, voice choking up.

Dongmin rolls up a stack of papers and you let out a low screech. “Don’t kill it on my shoulder!”

“Sorry,” he says and your eyes soften as he gently pushes the paper against your shoulder and takes it away. You breathe a sigh of relief and he signs you a thumbs up as he wiggles the paper in the air outside the window. 

“You saved me,” you say, smiling.

He returns it, his most beloved eye smile making you wonder if you made the right choice. Wouldn’t it be fun to just crash everything and watch it burn? You know you want to. Benevolence and grace were never your style. However, it’s his smile again that stops you. Maybe you don’t really want to be the bad guy after all. You’re sparing him from confusion and dread.

You’re sparing yourself from rejection and inevitable loneliness (yay).

It’s been a week, discussing details with Jaehyun before the both of you collectively decided to just wing it and hope you’re not caught. After all, there’s no real way to prove you’re not soulmates if you’re careful enough (the same way you can’t prove someone’s cheating if they’re careful enough but that’s quite a depressing analogy). Perhaps if you renounce the soulmate benefits (and Dongmin didn’t smile as often at you), it would be less morally taxing. You, however, are greedy. When you want something, you’ll do anything to get it.

You stare at the computer screen and sigh, cross checking the employee records for incorrect data and your eyelids start to droop. Of all the days, you just had to be assigned the most boring task on a Friday. You also should’ve gotten sleep instead of getting mad at Jaehyun’s dry responses to your plan of action. It was perfectly viable; unnecessary, but perfect nonetheless.

Soojin rolls her chair backwards into yours. “We’re going drinking tonight. Wanna come? You can bring your boy-toy too.”

You roll your eyes. “As much as I’d love to call him that, he’s still the chump from marketing for me.”

“Or,” Soojin emphasizes. “Your actual soulmate. How lucky is it that you work in the same building, in the same company?”

“I’m not sure if you’re being ironic.” You scroll through the database with trained eyes.

“I’m not. A lot of soulmates don’t even get to see each other because of their line of work. It’s so tragic.”

You’d be glad if you didn’t get to see Dongmin ever too. But you’ll keep that to yourself. You hum in response and hear a sigh from behind you.

“Let’s have fun,” she whines. “Is Jaehyun that much of a downer? He’s one of the hottest dudes in the building. I thought you’d be cheery.”

You pause and think to yourself. She does have a point. You’re definitely supposed to look happier. Your soulmate has the looks of a model and fifteen year old you would fawn over him no doubt.

“It’s the work,” you answer. “I’m working overtime to compensate for my rent.”

You work overtime anyway because you hate heading home to an empty apartment. 

“Ah, you signed a new lease, right? Near Songpa?” Soojin looks at you with pity and pats your shoulder. “You know what? I’ll treat you to drinks tonight. You deserve a day off, missy.”

You smile. “Thanks, Soojin.”

“And,” she adds in a singsong voice. “The love of your life is here.”

You furrow your eyebrows before tilting your head and almost sighing in exasperation at the figure of Jung Yoonoh outside the glass door. He may not show it, but you know distress when you see it. You’ve seen enough squirming undergraduates at company interviews. 

You quickly get up from your seat, praying that he didn’t mess something up. However, you find it cute when he looks like this, the urge to fluster him even more presenting itself to be rather tempting.

“I think you have a sick obsession with me, Jaehyun.” You cross your arms after closing the door behind you.

He exhales, closing his eyes for a moment before taking your arm and pulling you away from the door. 

“Woah, this isn’t high school. You can’t just pull me into a corner to make out.”

Jaehyun’s ears flare hot red and he clears his throat. “You’re in high spirits today.”

You weren’t, actually. Somehow, teasing Jaehyun gives you the same rush as caffeine. You just love when the nonchalance on his face turns into discomposure.

“I came to give Doyoung these files. Or you, since you’re practically his assistant.”

You ignore his comment. “There’s clearly something else.”

“The team sports event is coming up,” Jaehyun starts, hesitating. “I’m not managing it this year. I have to participate.”

“So?”

“So Dongmin has a higher chance of finding us out. What if he sees my mark in the changing room and it all goes to shit?”

“Great! He’ll think you’re his soulmate and I’ll be spared from this nonsense.”

“I’m being serious. It’s already difficult living with Sicheng and having to change with my doors locked. It’s kind of suspicious.”

“Do you guys sleep naked with each other or what?”

“No, but I do sleep with my shirt off.”

“Ugh. Why would you give me that image?” you complain. The image isn’t bad per se but it’s not what you need right now.

“You clearly liked it,” he mutters. 

You furrow your eyebrows. “You’re not doing this just to give me a load of unnecessary anxiety, are you? Do you know how swamped with work I am?”

“No, of course not,” he answers, no indication of which question he answered. “Also, is there a reason Soojin’s glaring at me?”

You wave your hand in dismissal. “It’s just the haven’t-warmed-up-to-coworker’s-new-boyfriend glare. Don’t worry about it.”

He doesn’t seem too relieved but you have more anxious thoughts invading the privacy of your Friday evening. You have to keep up your composure. It could happen one way or another, perhaps in a situation better than a team sports activity, but you have to figure it out. You reject your soulmate anyway—the same way he would.

Glaring at Jaehyun one last time, you get back to your desk. Jaehyun looks at your receding figure and finds himself checking you out, the largest blow he’s taken to his dignity. He shakes his head, breathing in and out. This is so not like him. He’s supposed to be the suave, handsome guy who people can’t seem to get to and yet—yet, you do it so easily. It’s unfair. He swallows his heart and tells himself he’s too old to feel this way. He’ll just drown himself in work and pretend love is a commodity like everyone else with a corporate job is supposed to. 

“You know,” Soojin starts when you get back. “Jaehyun kind of looks high if you look at him long enough. Weed is illegal though but who knows? Maybe he’s a bad boy deep down after all.”

“Which rumour have you been paying attention to now?” You sigh deeply.

Soojin laughs. “It’s funny to hear everyone’s opinions. Even if most of them turn into scandalous tall tales.”

“Anyway,” she continues. “I’m clocking out. I’ll get Jaehyun to take you to the sake bar.”

You look at her, puzzled.

“You’re a matching set now,” she follows up and you groan.

“Don’t give me that cr—”

“Toodle-oo! Let’s have some fun before we’re grey and old, eh?”

You sigh and nod. Maybe you should look into a caffeine fix, even if it costs you a mental power outage at the end of the rush. It’s not like you to be so down on a Friday but alas, Fate is as miserable a woman as you are. The sake bar is starting to sound good.

Or, you could always watch a few ASMR cooking videos instead of staring blankly at the employee records. Either way, this Friday better improve by tonight.

“This is going great,” Soojin says, louder than she probably intended after her fourth shot.

“Of course it is,” you mutter. 

You haven’t yet had a chance to drink more because of two reasons: one) Soojin is hogging the alcohol and two) it would be embarrassing to get drunk in front of Jaehyun. Adding to your misery, Soojin has been gushing over her soulmate and the way she always makes breakfast for Soojin, listing off every single recipe she’s made. You would love to listen but you’re a tiny bit past your limit.

“Wooh, Jaehyun, you look hot,” Soojin whistles, in more of an older sister manner. “I can almost see your tattoo. Why don’t the two of you show us at the same time and we can take a commemorative picture?”

You cough loudly. “Mine’s on my waist, Soojin. I’m not ready to expose skin.”

“Right. Sorry.” She turns back at lightning speed to bother Dongmin with her stories, who smiles at her politely. It seems so genuine that you’re slightly enamored with it for a moment. There’s Jungwoo from marketing beside him, some more HR employees and thankfully, no interns. Doyoung is the only one partly miserable in the lot, talking into the phone for half an hour now. 

“Shit.” Jaehyun nudges you and whispers, “I forgot about the tattoo. This T-shirt makes it very visible.”

You look at him, alarmed. You fix his jacket, startling him, and pull the zipper all the way to his neck, making sure to backhand him on the chin.

“There.”

“It’s hot in here.”

“What do you want me to do about it? God, you’re like a child.”

“I’m like a—okay. Just cover my tattoo with foundation or something.”

“You think I carry around a whole bottle of foundation?”

Jaehyun blinks, deeming it safer to keep his mouth shut. 

“Okay. Fine. I have an idea. Come to the washroom with me.”

“Oh my, this isn’t your making out in the corner type of thing, right?”

You glare at him and he shuts up, following you quietly to the surprisingly clean restroom. The fact that it isn’t gendered makes you very glad. You make Jaehyun sit on the low enough basin counter and push your knee against it to balance yourself as you take out a permanent marker from your bag.

“I hope Doyoung doesn’t fire me for sneaking away,” you mutter angrily. “He didn’t even make me receive his calls all day.”

Jaehyun scoffs lightly. “Please, Doyoung adores you and your work ethic. He talks about it more than what I need to overhear. That and Taeyong’s detailed aquarium maintenance rules.”

“He does?”

Jaehyun clears his throat and you hold back bombing him with more questions till you’re done with painting an arrow into his tattoo.

“Isn’t it weird?” He looks at you with round, curious eyes. “Yours is a heart. Mine’s a pierced heart.”

“Hm. Funny coincidence.”

“Do you have to sit on my lap for this?”

“I’m not sitting on your lap,” you hiss. You are kind of close. You train your eyes on his collarbone as you pull his neckline down. 

It would be so embarrassing to be caught like this. You’d rather be caught making out with someone in the broom closet. You hold back a pained sigh. Jaehyun has some nerve speaking to you when you’re already annoyed with him. Couldn’t he just have worn his business attire? Why does he get to go home early? Taeyong is far too lenient a boss. You start swearing internally, getting nervous when you think about the consequences of your actions.

“Has anyone ever filed a complaint against you?” Jaehyun asks, and you nudge his chin upwards to draw the line on his tattoo.

“For what? Being perfect and successful?”

“For that attitude. The ‘take what I want’ attitude.”

You roll your eyes. “No. You’re saying it like I’m awful to the core for trying to take what I want. I haven’t got such a bad soul, you know, as souls go. You wouldn't write articles about how good a soul it is but… it’s well enough.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow and you avert your gaze from his eyes. This sort of proximity shouldn’t be bothering you, you shouldn’t be rambling.

The door opens right then and in a fit of panic, you do the unthinkable. You press your lips to Jaehyun’s and pray that whoever walked in has no idea who you are and more importantly, can’t see the permanent marker in your hand. 

“I’m so sorry!”

You know that voice. You half regret it when you hear it. Dongmin exits the bathroom as quickly as he entered and you pull away to look at the empty space. Beside you, Jaehyun stays so still that you forget he’s there for a moment. You breathe out in relief though part of you still feels a heavy ounce of regret.

You turn back to Jaehyun and find his doe eyes soft and lost in thought.

“I get it now,” Jaehyun whispers. “It must hurt. That he doesn’t care about the system.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That he’s so reckless about discarding you.”

You separate yourself from him further, standing up and brushing your clothes. “You’re overstepping.”

“Sorry,” he responds quietly. 

There’s a pause.

“Did you just kiss me right now?”

“Shut up. I didn’t want him to see us and especially this.” You wave the marker in front of his face.

“You just kissed me in a fit of panic. That’s the first time I’ve seen someone respond to panic this way.” Jaehyun looks a little too smug.

“What are you implying?” 

“You wanted to kiss me.”

You scoff. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” 

You want to knock the smile right off his face but you stick to flicking his forehead, his yell of surprise satisfying. This Friday night was supposed to get better. In fact, you are going to make it better if life won’t. The soju won’t drink itself and you deem that Soojin has had enough. 

Ignoring Dongmin’s confused look, you order far too many soju shots to be considered healthy. As you promised yourself, you are going to make this Friday better.

//

You just had to go and get drunk. Jaehyun stares at you, blinking slowly and wondering just how much you can embarrass yourself before it becomes a burden for him. He has to get you home; you’re practically a matching set now. But are the halves of a pair supposed to take care of the other when they get drunk?

“You know what, guys?” You announce, standing up abruptly and immediately getting pulled back to your seat by Jaehyun. It doesn’t stop your mouth however.

“I hate the stupid system,” you continue. “To tell the truth—”

He smacks his hand over your mouth. Jaehyun has had enough of the silent mini heart attacks you give him. The rest look at him with puzzled looks and he can’t even bring himself to give them a polite smile before dragging you out of the bar. The night breeze is cold enough—maybe it’ll sober you up.

"You're so annoying, Jaehyun," you mutter, massaging your forehead. "Did you know that?"

Or maybe it won’t.

"Never heard that before."

"How do you always keep to yourself and still be the center of attention?" You cling to his arm for balance. 

"Have you considered that maybe a polite man isn't as scheming as you think he is?"

You curl your lips. "Stop using big sentences. I hate that I barely know you, and I know everyone."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "You just enjoy the power that comes with figuring people out. Don't you?"

"Whatever you say. I want life to be a nice and smooth ride but then again, I can't even face my soulmate." You let out an airy laugh. "I didn't really need one though."

Jaehyun laughs in disbelief. "You look like you're dying of loneliness."

"Ooh, that's a big claim, Yoonoh."

"You say I keep to myself but what about you? You like hiding, don't you?"

You laugh. "Is this the part where I say we're nothing alike?"

He purses his lips, shaking his head in dismissal. He's just tired of chit-chat with someone who smells like she robbed a liquor store in Itaewon.

“You must think I’m some sort of selfish, vapid, work-obsessed overachiever,” you continue, tilting your head with a blank look in your eyes.

“Well, not exac—”

“But guess what? Your opinions are invalid, Jung Yoonoh. You’re just some chump from marketing. A very good-looking chump but still.”

Jaehyun swears under his breath as you fling your arms open in the same manner a speech-giving patriot fighting for freedom would. Unfortunately, the freedom struggle is private in this day and age, and you just smacked him in the nose instead.

You sigh deeply and he looks at you again, warily now as he holds his nose.

“You’re not exactly wrong either. I’m so empty. Like a bottle of soju with no soju. Could you bring me some?”

Jaehyun massages his temples and solidifies his resolve. He’s had enough stares from people on the sidewalk. With delicate concern, he holds you up with one arm around your waist, balancing your weight evenly so you can stand. Promptly, you bury your face into his neck and an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak evades the filter of his mouth. You’re just so adept at making his days (and nights) worse.

Jaehyun tries his best to carry you to the parking lot without any signs of struggle but good lord, are you uncooperative. Once he’s down lugging you to the passenger seat, he breathes out in relief at long last and makes sure you don’t fold in over yourself dozing off the seat. Getting you to sit up, he finds himself smiling the slightest bit at your smudged lipstick. Even like this, you’re quite pretty. 

Realizing what thought came over him, he shakes his head vigorously as if he’s committing a horrible crime. He just has to get you home—Soojin had texted him the address prior to the outing just in case—and then he can go back to pretending whatever he even is supposed to.

The sports event is really just HR and Management trying to one-up the other in a more quantitative way. You’re not really fond of the sweat and heavy breathing that comes with physical exertion if it’s for the sake of competition. Competition is such a childish, masculine way of handling things, especially emotions.

HR is leading in wins, however and that means you have something to rub in Jaehyun’s face. You hate participating but you’re not allowed to opt out without a medical certificate. At least one competition, and you had to choose the three-legged race. All these potential partners, and Dongmin had to choose you.

“I’ll win,” you tell Jaehyun, stopping by him once you exit the changing room. The indoor stadium is usually a recreational facility for senior employees but on sports day, it’s closer to a gladiator arena. The seats are green and occupied by grinning employees, most of them glad for a day off but also upset they don’t get to attend their personal affairs in it.

Jaehyun stops himself from rolling his eyes. “Shouldn’t it be a ‘we’? You need a partner. Oh, are you sad you can’t pick me?”

“Not at all.” You cross your arms, annoyed at his mock pity. 

Right then, Dongmin jogs up to you in a blue tracksuit. His hair sticks to his forehead because unlike you, he takes sports very seriously. Jaehyun, on the other hand, just seems to enjoy the competition. As a guilty pleasure, you’d like to see the two of them compete one day. That would be a competition worth betting on.

“I’ll have to borrow your soulmate.” Dongmin laughs. “The race is starting.”

Life strikes again with its poorly timed irony.

“Don’t mind me,” Jaehyun says politely.

The race is easier than you thought it would be considering most of the other employees struggle with teamwork. You’re the HR team for a reason. But then again, you feel a certain hollowness pervade you while you’re pressed to Dongmin’s side. Wouldn’t it be nice?

All you can think is that Dongmin and you are perfectly in sync. The realization comes off as sad despite your victory and the wide grins on both of your faces. 

Jaehyun purses his lips and gives the two of you a nonchalant look. He’s avoided getting caught in the changing room quite well. For some reason, he’s glad that you’re winning but also dissatisfied about it. He would certainly feel different if he were participating in that race, wouldn’t he? He would win. Losing a competition is a huge blow to his ego. Lately, he seems to be losing a lot of races. The two of you have been growing closer and he doesn’t mind late night discussions about flawed systems and childhood memories; but the fact that you’re growing on him is something for him to be on edge about. He’s never felt so close to someone, and still so far.

“Oh, they have good chemistry, don’t they?” Doyoung comments beside Jaehyun, before taking a sip from his bottle.

“What chemistry?” Jaehyun snaps and Doyoung almost chokes on the water.

“Chill out, man.” Doyoung eyes Jaehyun’s figure in concern. “She’s like officially yours.”

Jaehyun refuses in a series of sputtering responses. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not jealous. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I didn’t paint you as that kind of man either,” Doyoung mutters before speaking up. “But love, Jaehyun. Love’s a weird thing.”

Jaehyunn ignores his comment and walks down to the grounds, jogging up to you. He immediately forgets to say anything at all. Smooth move, Yoonoh.

You just stick out your tongue at him subtly.

“I told you we’d win,” you say.

Jaehyun crosses his arms. “Congratulations. I thought you, quote, hate this stupid competition for dunces.”

You clear your throat and Dongmin laughs beside you. Before he can offer his bottle, Jaehyun offers his own in a rush. You raise an eyebrow but don’t question it.

“You guys really are a perfect pair.” Dongmin laughs. “Sometimes I wish Mijoo was my soulmate.”

You give him a pitiful smile. There go your happy feelings of victory.

“But I’m happy this way.” Dongmin nudges your shoulder with his. “Don’t give me that look.”

That is not the look he thinks you were giving. You smile. 

“What about this? We can go on a double date! Those are fun, right?” Dongmin muses, crossing his arms.

“No,” you and Jaehyun refuse in a panic, and Dongmin blinks in confusion at the overwhelming response.

“I'm more of a homebody,” you explain.

“Yeah, me too,” Jaehyun agrees.

It makes Dongmin laugh aloud. “Oh, fate didn’t go wrong with the two of you.”

Your smile wavers. Did it go so wrong with you and Dongmin? Jaehyun’s hand brushes yours and you look at him. A perfect side profile and flushed hot cheeks with dimples to die for. You wouldn’t mind being in love with him. You don’t mind love much at all. 

Shaking off the thought, you watch as Dongmin leaves the two of you to run to the changing rooms. Eyeing Jaehyun’s red team sweatshirt with “Management” in big typography over the chest, you look back up to his face. 

“Why did you jog over here so desperately?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Jealous?”

“Yes. I am irreparably in love with you.”

He leans in quickly and you flinch, making his dimples show up.

“Asshole,” you curse. “I’ll file you for harassment. Don’t do that again.”

“Isn’t it harassment when you feel me up while you draw—” Jaehyun leans in to whisper. “—the soulmark?” 

“I would never have my hands near your greasy existence if I could,” you huff, scandalized. 

But the thing is, Jaehyun is getting better at this game of flustering each other and you don’t like it one bit.

“Hey, you know Dongmin’s girlfriend?” he asks suddenly. 

You nod. “Kind of. I’ve seen her pictures on Instagram.”

Jaehyun pauses before humming in realization.

You cough. “Not that I was stalking them or something. Obviously.”

Jaehyun gives you a knowing smile but doesn’t question anything, much to your aggravation. It would’ve been better if you had a chance to prove you weren’t stalking them but then again, that is exactly what you were doing.

“Well, we went to the same college. Same major too.”

“Are you serious? Wait, how do you know? Does this mean you stalked their Instagram too?”

“Too?”

“Shut up.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

“She’s not exactly the evil homewrecker type,” he says.

“I know that,” you snap. If anything, you feel like the evil homewrecker even if Dongmin’s supposed to be your soulmate.

They’re so reckless. Jaehyun was right—you do blame them in a way. They don’t care who they trample under their nauseating parade of romance. But then again, that parade is better than a personal rejection.

“I’m just saying… don't hold it against them.”

“I don’t remember asking for advice, Jung Yoonoh.”

Jaehyun shrugs, dropping the issue. The preparations for the next race is starting and it has something to do with passing balls from basket to basket—you get bored already when you see Doyoung stretch before shaking hands with Taeyong.

“Wanna get ice-cream? We funded the food truck this year.” Jaehyun looks expectantly at you.

“Sure.” 

You contemplate holding his hand for a moment but let that thought bury itself. You don’t have to pretend right now. 

Much to your despair (or delight) however, Jaehyun takes your hand absentmindedly as he walks towards the exit. It’s not that you’ve never held hands before, it’s just that Jaehyun’s skin is soft against yours.

“I can’t believe you and Mijoo were in the same course.”

It seems she’s ahead of you in every direction you look to tread on. Of course, you will not be telling Jaehyun that. You don’t exactly feel jealousy—can’t feel jealousy when your life is perfect as it is. And for Jaehyun? You hate to admit it but you’d trade places with Mijoo any day.

“Well, she didn’t really like socializing back then so I didn’t know we were in the same program either.”

You chuckle, glancing down at your intertwined fingers despite your best efforts. It feels nice like this. It feels nice to be wanted by someone—even if it’s a lie.

“Do you think- Do you think they’re brave?” You ask. “They didn’t even hesitate to disregard the system.”

“I think people in love are always brave.”

You hum, looking down at your feet. All the more reason the system fucked up. You were never even supposed to be partnered up. You’re not brave—the face you put on is. The idea of love seems to get further and further away from you.

Just then, Jaehyun tugs at your hand, walking slightly faster and making you complain as you jog to catch up with his long strides. The food truck is fairly large, on the street outside to the stadium entrance. February is catching up with its heat and you curse at global warming for this hot winter day.

“You can take up to five scoops of different flavours,” he informs you, grinning sheepishly. “I guess the cups aren’t large enough for beyond that.”

“I didn’t know you were this passionate about ice-cream,” you say.

“Sicheng rubbed off on me.”

You laugh. IT must have given Sicheng enough stress to develop a sweet tooth. You love the HR Department when you look at the others in your company.

Jaehyun has a nice smile. You don’t know why you think that but you do and now you can’t focus on anything apart from the pink dust sprinkled over his cheeks and the handsome dimples that accompany. You don’t want to stare but clearly, Jaehyun must have been blessed by some divide being if not for fate. Maybe he’s a mess up like you. As far as you know, his soulmate doesn’t exist. That little red heart is so simple that none of the soulmate designs match it.

A rather repulsing part of you is happy about it. You like the feel of Jaehyun’s hands. You like the way he looks at you. You wouldn’t mind it if he were yours.  

Jaehyun’s house is as cosy as his mother makes you feel. It’s been a while since you’ve been home and if you were perhaps less emotionally constipated, you would have tears welling up in your eyes. There’s quite a few relatives too but then again, every Asian family jumps at the chance to celebrate something as mediocre as engagements and marriage and soulmate findings. Apparently, hormones are perfectly fine to them once you’re not teenagers anymore.

This isn’t so bad. What was so scary about meeting parents again? Jaehyun’s dad did challenge you with a questionnaire but lucky for you, you know exactly how interviews work. You’ve got enough information on Jaehyun from the man himself for this visit. The briefing he gave you was boring though; you already know what you need to know about Jaehyun.

You sit at the table, while most of the other guests work in the kitchen. Jaehyun’s mother asks you questions about your life, friendly and welcoming in every way possible. Mothers are truly god-sent. You wonder how she produced someone as far from divine as Jaehyun. (Except in looks, perhaps.)

You say that out loud and get a sharp quip from Jaehyun, his mother’s eyes lighting up at your childish interaction.

“Oh my, fate is never wrong!” She remarks with a wide smile. “I’ve never seen Jaehyun open up so much with anyone before. He was such a shy boy in school, you know? All the girls would send letters and confessions and he would just turn red in the face.”

“Mom.” He smiles all too sweet at her but you can see the panic in his eyes.

She rolls her eyes before turning to you. “Darling, you have no idea how proud I feel to see him this at ease. I was honestly getting tired of all the ‘your son is so polite and well-mannered’ comments. Some bickering ought to do him good.”

“Mom,” he repeats, straightening. “I think auntie needs some help setting up the table.”

“Don’t shoo me away yet. I have to tell (name) about the time you were elected class representative in middle school. And all those sports and acting awards.”

“You don’t have to advertise me, Mom,” he says, dropping his face into his hands to rub at his eyes, already growing tired. “I’m already- I’m already hers.”

His mother coos and apart from the expected deep red flush on Jaehyun’s skin, you find yourself feeling hot in the face too. Jaehyun’s aunt calls for his mother right then and you watch as she makes her way to the kitchen entrance, the two women glancing at you and giggling to each other over some shared words.

Jaehyun takes the opportunity to grab your hand and walk away to a more obscure part of the house upstairs. With significantly less relatives, it should be a good hiding spot unless discovered by his giggling cousins that he refuses to introduce you to. 

“Aw, what a shy baby,” you coo, smiling at the thought of a younger, easily-flustered Jaehyun.

His ears are bright red and you think that he’s still easily flustered. He just doesn’t show it much anymore—there’s only one dead giveaway.

“Forget everything my mom said,” he instructs. “It’s not important information.”

“Oh, no, darling. Your mother is a gold mine of vital information. You know what? I’m going to go chat her up right now. I’m sure you were quite the teenage dream I should know about.”

Jaehyun grips your wrist before you can escape, pulling your closer.

“Don’t.”

You don’t know if it’s the proximity or the fact that there are most definitely a few family members that could walk in right now—but you find yourself embarrassed as you look at his face. It’s very pleasant, handsome even, and the strands of his hair look irresistibly soft from this distance. You reach your hand out and brush the hair out of his eyes, almost instinctively. 

“You have nice eyes, Jaehyun,” you say out loud, not sure why. He doesn’t fluster this time but it makes you all the more aware of your nearness.

Your eyes glance at the bottom of the staircase to see a little girl, around nine, hiding from behind the wall that separates the dining room and the kitchen. You return your gaze to Jaehyun with a smirk.

"We should kiss right now. Your little cousin's watching."

Jaehyun looks mildly disgusted. "Why would I want to kiss you in front of my cousin?"

You roll your eyes. “You don't get it, do you? The fastest way to convince a family is through rumours.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "So?"

"Oh my god, you're an idiot. Nosy cousins are the most effective way to spread rumours."

"Ah." Jaehyun looks enlightened enough for you to continue.

"Okay, but first you need to have these mints." You take out the emergency mints from your purse.

"What? I don't need mints. I have nice smelling breath.”

"Everyone needs mints, Jaehyun. Especially men."

Jaehyun sighs heavily. You take the opportunity to grab his wrist and pull him into a corner. 

"Have this mint or else."

You hold his face between your thumb and forefingers, cheeks squishing under the pressure as you force a mint in. He lets you do it for some reason, looking lost as he gazes at you. 

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh my, you're enjoying this. Pervert."

"Wha—what? You have to stop thinking you're hot shit, oh my god. I just got distracted for a bit."

"By me, right?"

"No! I just zoned ou—you're enjoying this."

You bite down your smile but a giggle escapes you anyway. Jaehyun rolls his eyes though he smiles, looking far too close to irresistible when his dimples show.

"You can't keep teasing me," he says, voice low.

"I've been doing it for two years. I'm pretty sure I can do it for at least two more."

Jaehyun scoffs, laughing at your statement. "You know what? I'm going to get back at you from now on. I've been so lenient."

You snort before pressing the back of your fingers to your nose. "You? You're going to get back at me? You’re good at lip service, Jaehyun."

“Huh. You might be right about that.”

There's a beat of silence and you look at him expectantly. In the next beat of your heart (or lack thereof), he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours, surprising the life out of you as your back hits the wall. It's not just a touch either, his mouth moves over yours and when your knees feel weak, you reluctantly admit that the rumour about Jung Yoonoh being a good kisser is true. Maybe his body count isn't a lower-end single digit after all.

He pulls apart with a short smile tugging at his lips. "Satisfied?"

You sputter out a response before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think anyone really saw us in this corner.”

Jaehyun makes a low humming sound. “Or you could just say you want me to kiss you again? I know I’m a good kisser.”

“Fuck off.” You punch his chest, eliciting a quiet grunt from him.

You move away from him, peeking from behind the wall. Oh, she saw it alright. The giggling gives it away and the fact that a few more younger cousins have gathered. This is ridiculous. The fact that you wouldn’t mind more is even worse.

You turn back to Jaehyun with steel-set eyes. “No more kissing. Ever. Never again. Kissing is officially banned.”

Jaehyun looks perplexed. “I thought that was a good kiss. Did you not enjoy it? What do you mean no kissing?”

“And I take it back.” The heat on your face is still burning steadily. 

“Oh, I see. You liked it so much that you’re embarrassed.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“So I’m right?”

You roll your eyes and quickly walk down the stairs, a few words of complaint left hanging in the air as Jaehyun follows behind, stumbling over the steps.

Jaehyun likes how comfortable this is. He doesn’t mind glaring daggers at each other but this is fun too. It’s like he doesn’t have to be careful about the lines he might be crossing—there aren’t any damn lines at all. He can’t call it love, at least not by definition, but something is there. Something that is solid enough and heavy enough. Something he would be ready to hold on to.

You laugh at a joke Jaehyun’s dad makes. A family is the only place to feel at home. It might not be yours but maybe at the end of the night, you can convince them to disown Jaehyun and adopt you as their child instead. His cousins seem to be interested in the same things you were as a high schooler and it surprised you. Your job lets you advise the older cousins in a fairly friendly fashion. The little ones seem to like your dress and you find them far too adorable with their pink cheeks and dimples, much like Jaehyun’s. Speaking of which, he definitely got them from his dad. You look around and wonder how Jaehyun has so many female cousins and not an inkling about how women work. 

It doesn’t hurt anymore that Dongmin discarded you so recklessly.

He’s wrong. Jaehyun’s wrong. It doesn’t hurt—didn’t hurt right now at the very least. When Jaehyun kissed you, you didn’t think of Dongmin or his girlfriend or anyone else. You thought that Jaehyun’s skin is somehow always the right temperature. 

You shake your head. Jaehyun drives your getaway car and you shouldn’t get too comfortable in its worn-out leather seats. This shouldn’t be any different to you; you aren’t supposed to find love in every corner. This was all a survival instinct. 

The more stories Jaehyun’s mother shares with you over dinner, the more you find it comfortable to be here. You don’t feel this welcome in your own apartment (although, there isn’t exactly anyone else living there but you and the goddamn pigeon that wakes you up at six in the morning). The more the night progresses, the more you want to believe in this lie. Jaehyun glances at you from time to time, his gaze neither uncomfortable nor harsh and you smile at him when he does. Right now, there is no loneliness and the air is warm and smells of freshly cooked food; the way familial love works is such a mystery. You feel content.

“Why are we doing this again?” you lean in and ask Jaehyun, eyes focused on the TV as he tries to fix it.

“Because I need to get out of work, and fulfilled soulmates get a day off on Valentine’s day.”

You nod. “Your apartment kind of stinks. I feel sorry for Sicheng.”

“This is clean,” he defends, pointing at the lack of any visible mess in his room. His work table, however, has too many items scattered over it to be called neat. There’s a fairly large TV attached to the wall and you’re a little jealous about it. You only ever watch shows on your (quite beloved albeit small) laptop. The blinds aren’t fully closed, the evening city lights trying their best to pry their pervasive fingers in and add something more to the peach hue of Jaehyun’s room.

The doorbell rings just in estimated time for food delivery, a sigh leaving your mouth along with a ‘finally’. His place is strangely comfortable and much less of the war zone that you expected. There’s no reason to feel awkward, really, or even the bubbling in your stomach. You’re not seventeen, in your crush’s house. Jaehyun isn’t even someone you like that way.

It’s just two friends hanging out and watching a movie and doing other friendly activities. Two friends hanging out on Valentine's day. Two friends who have kissed more than once.

What do lovers do anyway?

This thing with Jaehyun has turned into clandestine smiles at the office building, subtle texts of ‘did you eat?’ and ‘good morning, idiot’, racing hearts at brushing hands on the occasional off-work hangouts (you refuse to call them “dates”) and overall, a lot more pink hearts floating over his head when you see him. It’s positively appalling. 

You don’t mind it one bit.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” The delivery man wishes as he leaves and you feel a sudden rage bubble up in you. 

“Ah, does he think every couple celebrates Valentine’s day? And just because we’re in the same apartment means we’re a couple? Wow.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “Who’s he to wish me?”

“Why… Why are you getting mad?” Jaehyun asks quietly, slightly confused.

You glare at him, your anger not quite dissipated and walk back into his room, placing the box of confectionaries on the bedside table with a loud thud. Jaehyun follows, placing the drinks rather clumsily beside it. He gives you one last look of concern before settling down on his bed.

You let out another huff of complaint.

"Does everything have to be heart-shaped?"

You stare at the nauseating display of baked goods delivered in a pretty heart-shaped box. The brownie is in a clear plastic box that has a tiny bouquet of hearts atop it, the coffee cups have heart stickers around the rim, and the pastry itself is heart-shaped or rather, two halves of a heart. One of them is strawberry pink and the other chocolate brown.

“You seem… suddenly fired up,” Jaehyun comments quietly.

You don’t really care if you look crazy to him right now; he’s already seen the worse parts of you. You’re just so annoyed at all this red and pink that was delivered. Aren’t cafes supposed to stick with that beige-cream palette? 

While you contemplate, Jaehyun tears the little sugar packet and attempts to open the lid of the cup at the same time, your blood pressure rising at the sight because you were half sure he’d spill the drink. After much difficulty, he shakes the packet trying to get just enough sugar but of course, like the clumsy oaf he is, he misses almost entirely, spilling sugar over his coffee table. It’s oddly endearing but that’s a thought you’ll keep to yourself.

He turns to you with a sheepish grin and you give him a look of distaste.

“You are a sorry excuse of a person, Jaehyun.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t mess this up.”

You turn to look him in the eyes, the honey shade alluring under warm apartment lights. They really are pretty. 

“I, and every other sane human being, would not mess up adding sugar to a cup of coffee.”

“You faltered for a moment there.”

That was not the reason you faltered. You roll your eyes and look away, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste.

“How do you even like Americanos? Don’t you like a bit of cream and sweetness?”

 “I don’t really care for bitterness,” he answers.

“Wow, you must be a masochist.”

“And it’s quite obvious you’re a sadist.”

You snicker. “That makes us quite the pair.”

“I would like that sentence in a non-BDSM context, thank you.”

Jaehyun turns on the TV and the Netflix logo animation pops up. You raise an eyebrow at his ‘Continue Watching’ list, eyeing Bridegerton and Sweet Home, and wondering if he could be any more of an enigma. You can’t possibly figure him out at this point. You groan when he picks a title.

“Ugh. Do we have to watch a romantic comedy?”

“What? They’re funny. And I thought you liked those 2000’s movies.”

You believed in unicorns and sock goblins and love back then too. These days, you hate to see other people in love, especially when it’s fake. The movies you loved are now the movies you hate. The couples you eyed with delight at parks and cafes are now the bane of your existence. In fact, you’d go as far as to say that you enjoy the digital fireworks from a couple having a massive online breakup. Things falling apart are entertaining when it’s not happening to you.

You purse your lips. Can't you see other people happy without wanting to tear it down for yourself?

“Fine. But I’ll pick the 2000’s romcom.”

Jaehyun shrugs and hands over the remote. You see Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds on the poster and click on it immediately. The Proposal has a good enough comedy to romance ratio, in your opinion.

“I’m kind of surprised you came,” he says quietly.

“Why?” You raise an eyebrow. “Is it because of the suggestive nature of visiting someone’s apartment on Valentine’s day? Did you think we’d be doing something… more fun?”

You lean in and bat your eyelashes suggestively, although you’re clearly joking.

“I think you should know better than to get mouthy with me,” he answers as he leans in further, making your heartbeat hike at the proximity. Maybe he’s figured you out. Wouldn’t it be so nice to figure each other out at the same time—like puzzle pieces fitting together?

You move away from him. “Well, it’s not like I can go anywhere else. And I didn’t want to stay in my own apartment.”

“Maybe you enjoy my company?”

“Look, I would be sipping my coffee at a perfectly aesthetic cafe if it weren’t Valentine’s day.”

He raises an eyebrow at your nonsensical declaration and you sigh, trying to explain yourself.

“Cafes just terrorize the single folk on Valentine’s day. You should always go with Netflix,” you say.

“And chill?”

“Do you even know what that means?”

“As I’ve told you so many times, I am not stupid.”

You inhale, an idea presenting itself.  

“Hey, since we’re technically a couple, shouldn’t you be sharing your Netflix password with me?” you ask, pressing your lips into your cutest smile.

“No.”

“You’re so stingy,” you mutter. It was worth a shot.

Jaehyun laughs, your hand reaching out to poke his dimples but you stop yourself. You weren’t supposed to get this comfortable. This wasn’t your place to be. Lost in thought, the moving screen leaves you unfazed and you can’t look at him anymore. However, Jaehyun reaches out right then and wipes at the space beside your lips, your focus lifting from the beginning scenes of The Proposal and latching onto Jaehyun’s lips.

There’s a pause, your head clearing itself of thoughts when you make eye contact with him. Soft hair, doe eyes, full lips and dimples—he’s so damn attractive, it hurts your existence. Does he have to be this close to you? You have mixed feelings about that look in his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers suddenly.

“Yes,” you answer.

If you look from a rational point of view, you should not have said that. You should have said anything but that. But you don’t want to think right now. Jaehyun’s touch is warm over your skin as his hand rests under your jaw and the other on your waist.

You should not have said that. But you feel loved.

Somewhere along, you find yourself parting only to kiss again, the feeling of skin so delightful in a way you’ve never experienced. Your shirt hikes up and you see Jaehyun eye the little heart with the arrow—the sign you so despised with a gentle smile.

“It’s pretty,” he whispers.

It’s pretty but it isn’t his. He doesn’t have to look at you like that—he’s come a long way from nervous glances and now he’s the one making you nervous. Just say it isn’t love and it will be alright.

You part, sobering up for a moment and you disentangle your limbs to sit at the side of his bed.

“What’s- What’s wrong?” Jaehyun whispers.

You exhale.

“All my life, I wait and when it comes, it’s all wrong,” you say, staring at your lap. Self-pity is the most disgusting kind of pity to feel. You’re past crying at things like this. You’re past crying for an ounce of romance, every time you listen to a love song on the radio or look at an Instagram post of a couple or pass by lovers on the sidewalk content with each other. You don’t even have cats to return home to. Modern loneliness is wearing you down but you can’t believe in fairytales anymore.

He scoffs, smiling bitterly. “I don’t even know if this is worth losing my dignity over.”

“Jaehyun—”

“We can’t pretend anymore—I can’t pretend anymore,” Jaehyun exhales. “I want you enough to forget the system. Give me an answer. Please.”

You don’t mind forgetting the system right now. Jaehyun’s lips are always the right temperature; the warmth of his body seeps through his shirt as you press yourself to him in a hug. He’s perfect and right now, you want to believe he’s perfect for you—even if he isn’t, you want to believe it into existence.

You cup Jaehyun’s cheeks, unsaid emotion in his doe eyes, and kiss him. This time, you mean it with every ounce of your being. There’s no more flustering each other, just the hot flush of intimacy when you feel skin that doesn’t burn you. It’s just the right feeling. There’s no way this can be wrong. 

Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? You wish the voice would pipe down. It’s a coward, fearing fate just as everyone else does. But you are better than that, and this feeling is too enjoyable to let go. You don’t want this to fade.

Just then, Dongmin’s face comes to mind and you think that maybe if you kiss someone else with all you have, you don’t have to think of your shortcomings ever again.

Jaehyun pulls apart and you miss the warmth.

“You’re not… You’re not thinking of me, are you?” he asks. 

You don’t answer, even if the silence is overwhelming.

“I’d rather not have you close your eyes and think of someone else when I’m in front of you.”

“I’m sorry” is all you can say.

“You can at least pretend to love me.” His voice is a hoarse whisper. “Could. It’s not like this was ever supposed to work out.”

You gulp, looking away. “Jaehyun, come on. That’s not like you. We were- we were just… having fun.”

He takes a deep breath. “It hurts to not be wanted by someone you want. You know that. So why are you doing this to me?”

Because misery likes company.

“I’m sorry.”

It seems the phrase you barely uttered when you were younger is tumbling out of your lips in a mixture of grief and pity. Perhaps it’s karma. Perhaps it’s fate. Perhaps it’s just the consequences of your mistakes.

Jaehyun parts his lips, a sigh departing. He leans in again, pushing away all of his thoughts. A little more hurt won't kill him tonight. How and when did you bring him down to his knees?

However, he's stopped by your hands against his shoulders, his lips hovering over yours.

"Let's stop," you say. "You're right."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

“I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

You wish you could be brave enough to burn the instruction pamphlet from destiny. But right now, you need to get away from Jaehyun, away from any more misery business.

“I’ll get going,” you say, gathering your stuff. 

Jaehyun hesitates but doesn’t stop you. He would never stop you, can’t stop so how could he even dream of stopping fate? This can never work out. It felt right in the moment but you don’t know anything more than that. You can’t close your eyes and pray everything disappears. No one else will solve your problems for you, you know that.

It’s time you start fixing the mess you made. You leave with a polite goodbye and hear a loud sigh behind you once the door is closed. Blinking away the urge to walk back in, you take long and quick strides to the elevator. You’re going to fix this.

Maybe if Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ wasn’t blasting at full volume at this stupid office party, you could be thinking a little straighter.

He was right. You can’t pretend anymore. There were thousands of ways this could have gone better. You didn’t have to pretend to be soulmates when you’re not. You could’ve discarded your belief in the whole system like Dongmin and Mijoo and dated someone out of spite. You didn’t have to drag Jaehyun into your sorry mess. You need to take out the nail you hammered into your own foot.

It’s the first time you’ve visited the rooftop restaurant from the company’s subsidiary chain of high-end restaurants but you imagined it would be bigger. It’s the news’ fault for making this place seem like a football field. However, you might be feeling that way because the distance between you and Jaehyun is suffocatingly small as is the distance with Dongmin. You don’t need to see Jaehyun tonight.

You don’t intend to make your confession a public affair and you certainly don’t believe in tack things like atonement. However, improvement begins with a step in the right direction. Maybe you’ll be a better person after this. Maybe you’ll still be as annoying and pushy as ever. You need to get it off your chest so you can proceed with the already tedious journey that comes with a soulmate rejection. You wonder why there’s so many man-made laws about soulmates when fate has made it complicated enough as it is. Love is the same as legalese when it comes to this system.

You flit about the crowds, smiling and greeting people and swerving away from Jaehyun every time he tries to approach you. You’re trying to make a good decision for once. He better not intrude. You’re wearing pink too, for the first time in a while: a satin shirt, pants and blazer set in dull pink.

“Dongmin,” you say, pulling him by the sleeve of his blue tux, and away from the rest of the HR team. “I have to show you something.”

“Hm? Show me?” He blinks at you. 

You get him to follow you to the inside the premises, stopping when you’re far into a 

“Uh?” Dongmin looks around before leaning in to whisper. “You’re not plotting to murder me, are you?”

You blink, and he laughs at you incredulously. “Why are you so serious?”

“I was lying,” you rush. “With Jaehyun. He’s not my soulmate. You are.”

Dongmin blinks in confusion. “Are… you joking? That was a weird joke but it could pass as funny—”

“Dongmin.”

You pull out your shirt from your pants, exposing the tattoo on your hip. It’s the little arrowed heart that has been plaguing you for years but now when you look at it, you feel no animosity. After all, it’s been through the same things you have. 

Dongmin’s face falls into stunned silence, eyes fixated on your waist.

“That’s- That’s my—what is this?”

Russian roulette is certainly not the same without a gun.

“I lied, Dongmin,” you answer, fixing your shirt back in. “I was so afraid of your rejection that I made an even larger fool of myself.”

His initial shock seems to have partly subsided.

“You… Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks momentarily hurt.

“You have Mijoo, Dongmin. I can’t ruin something like that.”

A love that doesn’t need fate to fix it.

Dongmin glances away in guilt and sighs, though the sound is croaky. This must be more than what he can take.

“I’m sorry,” he says, haltingly. “I hurt you, didn’t I? When I thought I was being brave, I hurt you instead.”

You smile bitterly. “We all hurt someone, Dongmin. I still have to fix that one for myself.”

He scans your face, lips trembling slightly as unspoken words die on them.

“We’ll tend to the legal stuff later, hm? No compensation. We can file a mutual rejection.”

“But—”

“Shh. I’m happy enough as coworkers and I get paid more than enough for this job. Might get a promotion soon too.”

You wink at him with an added finger gun, trying to play it cool. Despite everything, a weight feels lifted from your shoulders. Now that you are truly alone, you might as well embrace this growing loneliness crawling under your skin. Discomfort could be something you can get used to. 

When you get back to the warmly lit rooftop, the HR team looks at you curiously. You have the most self-destructive thought you’ve had in a while and tell yourself, you might as well if you've come this far. This is it. This is your social death. Honesty is the best policy, unfortunately.

“Dongmin and I have the same soulmate mark,” you announce. “We’re soulmates but we’ll sign a mutual rejection.”

Doyoung looks almost like he’ll faint and Soojin’s mouth is so wide open, you could practice throwing some mini basketballs in. This is your team—almost a second family, and it’s time you stop trying to hide yourself or disguise your feelings as something they’re not. They’ll get over it, as will you.

“J-Jaehyun?” Soojin looks to your side and you turn to find Jaehyun frowning.

“You could’ve discussed this with me,” he says, an odd sound of relief in his laugh. 

It hurts to look at him but you muster up your strength.

“I’m sorry,” you say, facing him. “I didn’t want to drag you into this hell with me.”

Into this loveless hell made for you.

“(name).”

It’s so painfully quiet in this corner; there are so many eyes on you and only the hurt taking shape in Jaehyun’s eyes knock some sense into you. 

“I’ll leave first,” you say, bowing as you take your leave.

You brisk up your pace and exit the venue as quickly as you can and into the building corridor.

Unfortunately for you, you recognize the pair of footsteps that follow you—both of them having their timings wrong. Boys don’t chase after the girl when she’s walking away. Boys should leave a girl alone when she feels like she’s about to cry.

You turn to face two men and groan internally. This is the worst possible situation—you’d rather crawl into a hole than look at either of them. The corporate light shines harshly on either of their faces but the look on them is so earnest, you want to close your eyes and scream. You don’t mind being alone. You were overstepping when you wished you weren’t.

“(name),” Dongmin starts. “I’m sorry it turned out this way. If you’d told me, we could have talked this out.”

A light scoff leaves Jaehyun and Dongmin purses his lips. It’s kind of funny watching both of their tall frames in hesitant postures and you cross your arms. You’re going to deal with this quickly like you always should have. If you’re dealing with fate, you need to have a clear head—and fortune doesn’t favour fools. Being with Jaehyun was nice but he is not yours. Dongmin may have been assigned to you but you’d rather not ruin someone’s relationship.

“What would we have talked about?” you ask. “Compensation charges? Apologies?”

You see a hint of positivity on Jaehyun’s face and turn to face him, frowning.

“And you. Don’t look so smug. You’re the reason I realized this crap. It hurts. Like hell.”

He opens his mouth but no words come when he’s far too taken aback. He can’t offer consolation now, not after everything. You knew this would happen. You would undoubtedly end up wishing you didn’t fall in love with him on the day you leave.

“(name). Listen to me,” Dongmin calls again, voice gentle.

Jaehyun sighs. “We’re both fucking this up, dude.”

Dongmin takes a sharp breath.

“You know, soulmates can be platonic,” he reasons, looking only at you. “People are made for each other differently and maybe you and I—”

“You’re just making her feel worse,” Jaehyun cuts him off.

“How do you know that?” Dongmin asks, finally turning to him. “Because you’ve spent a month or two with her? I’m her soulmate.”

“I think a month or two is much better than a stranger with the same damn birthmark.”

“Oh come on,” Dongmin scoffs. “The system exists for a reason.”

“I don’t give a shit about the system. The same as your girlfriend—oh, sorry, did you forget about her already?”

“It’s not like that.” Dongmin quietens. “We’ll figure something out.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. They’re worse than you are—honestly, you don’t know what you expected from the timid emotional maturity of men. Both of their polite facades have melted and you’re starting to miss their sweet-tempered work demeanour.

“Come with me,” Dongmin tells you.

He wraps his hand around your wrist and tugs, Jaehyun visibly tensing up at the gesture. He presses his tongue against his cheek in annoyance but refrains from doing anything rash. You feel sorry when you look at him.

“Dongmin,” you whisper. “Can we- can we have a moment?”

Dongmin nods in understanding and exits the hallway to cool off with a few splashes of water in the washroom.

“Would you go with him?” Jaehyun asks, jaw clenched. “An acquaintance as most? Are you willing to run into the arms of fate that you hated so much?”

He looks bitter and you can’t think of a sugar-coated response. You’ll just have to tell him how you feel.

“I need to sort things out, Jaehyun. This—”

You point from him to yourself.

“Couldn’t work out thanks to fate. Dongmin and I will never work out because he’s braver than I am. You know he’s doing all of that just so I don’t get hurt, right? He’s not suddenly in love with me.”

Jaehyun purses his lips, looking down to his feet. Is it so bad that he let jealousy get the best of his mouth? Envy isn’t so awful. He looks from your eyes to lips and wishes he were young enough to believe in fairytales.

“You don’t have to be brave,” he whispers. “You don’t have to be so brave to fall in love. You don’t have to be brave to stay with me.”

“We tried, Jaehyun. And we can’t cheat fate. That, at the very least, requires bravery.” 

You press your lips into a thin line. It hurts. It hurts so bad to look at him and face the consequences of this flawed design. It’s unfair. It’s unfair that you have to follow the rules even after trying your best to break them. 

“You wish you never met me, don’t you?” you whisper. “I made a mess.”

Before he responds, you bow in a short goodbye and walk towards the elevator. There’s no footsteps behind you, no Prince Charming. It’s just you and your high heels clacking against the cold marble as you head back to an empty home. You always thought freedom would feel different, that distance would give you perspective. It just feels awful when no one is around you at all. When you have no one to pick up morning calls from, receive texts from asking if you ate, spend time in peace without uttering a single word—are you free or are you lonely?

The rules state that the two of you are different. It is true. You are as different as love in real life and love in the movies; and neither of them have happy endings now.

You wish you drank some more last night if you were going to embarrass yourself like that. Thankfully, it’s the weekend and you have two more days to figure out how to face your coworkers. You frown when you think of Jaehyun. Were you wrong to tell him that you simply couldn’t choose him? What if fate is right and it falls apart? You stir your morning coffee, the will to drink it fading slowly. It’s already fallen apart—and it wasn’t fate who did that, it was you. Should you have taken his stupidly warm hands and asked him to follow you? You don’t understand how it works at all.

Centuries of questioning what love is, poking and prodding at it like a lab sample, and there’s still no perfect answer. Love is blind. Love is cruel. Love is a fever. Love is temporary insanity. Love is acceptance. Love will set you free. There’s just too many variations. You can never tell if fate is meant to make it easier or worse. 

No one questions you at the office and you're not sure if you’re glad or aggravated. Only Doyoung shoots you a pitiful look which you brush off and immediately get into work. Embarrassment is only real if you acknowledge it. However, every time Dongmin tries to talk to you, you ask for space and even alone in your thoughts, you don’t get it. They just have to drift to Jaehyun.

You wonder if what he said was true, that he wanted you enough to forget the system. It’s clearly ruined now. The spiral of thinking has you zoning out during work more often than not and even Doyoung ends up reprimanding you for your lack of focus. Sometimes you want to snap but other times, you’re just hopelessly reciting the events over and over in your head. This was supposed to happen, wasn’t it? You don’t even have the strength left in you to blame it all on Jaehyun.

You pace in the corridors after work, contemplating popping by the Marketing Department. What could go wrong? Sure, it was a little dramatic of you to leave like that but everything can be fixed, right? You groan. What you were supposed to be fixing, you made worse. Are your hands cursed or something? You shake your head, returning to your desk to gather your belongings and head home.

Unfortunately, the sight of Doyoung sitting in your chair alarms you and you stop a foot away. 

“If you’re going to reprimand me for watching cat videos instead of checking the employee records, I can assure you my efficiency is still top-notch.” 

“You’re—what? Never mind.” Doyoung shakes his head. “Can you give this ginseng pack to Jaehyun? I owe him.” 

Oh no. You know where this is going.

“You know I’m going to keep that for myself, right?” You make a face. “I’d rather die than face Jaehyun right now.”

Doyoung shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll be the one running to you. This is in case of an emergency.”

You give him a fake smile and Doyoung shakes his head. “Good to see you’re still great at pretending to be fine.”

You sigh. “Thanks for looking out for me, bossman.”

Doyoung blinks, hand covering his mouth when an audible gasp leaves him. “Woah. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you thank me. But don’t call me bossman ever again.”

“Noted,” you say, taking your bag and leaving with a short goodbye. You’re lucky he lets you off work early, even if you never took it. Employees usually can’t leave until their superiors does and if you were a senior employee, you’d be giving your juniors quite the hell.

You seem to be good at concocting hellscapes. Perhaps, you should look for job openings in the underworld. One last thought of Jaehyun exits your head and you take the bus home, admiring the city you live in and the warmth of people and their relationships. You don’t feel jealous; you just bask in them for the time—be it a mother and her son or two bickering sisters or a lovely old couple. That’s how it’s meant to be, then. That’s how love works.

Jaehyun smacks his head against the sofa armrest for the fifteenth time in a row.

“Dude. You’re going to permanently ruin the fabric.” Sicheng says, eyes trained on his laptop screen.

“I should’ve said something more.” Jaehyun’s voice is so zombie-like, he thinks he should cast himself in the Train to Busan sequel as an extra.

“I’m glad I’m not you,” Sicheng mutters.

“Can you give me some sort of consolation, at least?”

“That’s not what I’m your friend for.”

Jaehyun sighs and resumes smacking the back of his head against the armrest. He really needs to figure this out. After all, he can’t really Google the solution to this.

“One thing doesn’t make sense,” Sicheng says, finally looking up from his screen. “Why do you have the same mark as (name)’s if you’re not soulmates?”

“You’re so incredibly—but adorably—stupid, Sicheng. She drew it in with a permanent marker. She kissed me too! It was sudden and weird but I didn’t mind it.

“Yikes.” Sicheng makes a face. “So… you didn’t take a shower for how long now?”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“The ink hasn’t washed off. I heard you singing in the shower yesterday, how could you not have washed that off? Ugh. Don’t tell me you miss her.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he jumps up and rushes to the washroom. Looking into the mirror, the tattoo poking out from his T-shirt resembles yours a lot more than his. The arrow is still drawn in. Jaehyun’s shoulder slumps. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. Turning the tap and letting the water flow, he wets his hand and rubs at his collarbone to remove the arrow.

Except it doesn’t budge. His skin turns painfully red from the rubbing but the ink, which usually washes off in less than five minutes has no intention of leaving. Did you use a different brand of marker the last time? When was it anyway? 

Jaehyun breathes out, firming his resolve. He needs to be with you.

Sicheng blinks in surprise as Jaehyun grabs his car keys, not even bothering to change from an all-black getup of a T-shirt and jeans like some emo teenager, and shuts the front door behind him. Not even a ‘goodbye, I’m leaving!’

Sicheng sighs. Love makes people crazy. He’s not falling into that trap when his soulmate literally doesn’t exist, the same as his soulmark. It seems the contestants in this game are full of exceptions.

You hit your head against your pillow. To visit Jaehyun or not to. You haven’t left your bed since you woke up around seven in the morning, and now it’s ten. Your bedsheets are a mess because you’ve rolled around too much on them (in despair, not with someone unfortunately).

You need the quiet sometimes to let your mind rest, to let your heart rest. You needed time. But maybe it’s been long enough and now you’re just searching for excuses to hold on to your last shred of dignity.

You lift your head up and glare at the box of ginseng on your table. Should you? You reluctantly get up, feeling a sting of pain in your back for lying in that awkward position for so long. Right when you’ve put on your slippers, the doorbell rings and you groan. How did the package you stress-ordered last night arrive so early? These deliveries are getting faster and faster.

You walk to the front door and open it thoughtlessly, freezing up at the sight. Your first reaction is to cover yourself. You’re not exactly your best-looking version at the moment. Jaehyun’s dark circles almost match yours but he’s better dressed than you are—in a black T-shirt and jeans while you’re wearing a Gudetama pajama set.

“We’re not just friends,” he blurts. “We’re not soulmates but we’re not just friends.”

“Huh? Oh my god, this is the most embarrassing I’ve looked.”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows in a question look. 

“That’s not important! Look—”

He pushes you inside, closing the door behind him. His hair is so disheveled and messy, he barely even looks like the same well-maintained marketing employee you know. 

Jaehyun tugs at his T-shirt, pulling down to reveal his tattoo—albeit with your marker-drawn arrow through it. He does have a pretty well-built chest, you note before chiding yourself for getting distracted.

You raise an eyebrow. “Do you, uh, need help scrubbing it off or something?”

“No.” Jaehyun lets out a huff of exasperation. “It won’t wash off. If it’s what I think it is—”

“Miracles don’t happen to people like us, Jaehyun,” you say quietly.

He gulps. “I don’t know about miracles but… I just needed an excuse to see you, I guess.”

You look up, a rose blush over Jaehyun’s bare face, and run your finger over the tattoo, sighing at the warmth of his skin. Your hand travels up to his cheek, resting atop it while you muster enough courage to look Jaehyun in his chocolate brown eyes.

You pull away. This isn’t the time. You still have an internal crisis to sort out. Are you even deserving of love? It makes much more sense if the answer is no. 

However, Jaehyun pulls you in by the waist, his right palm warm against your cheek.

“I don’t care what anyone says.” He runs his thumb over your cheek in a painfully fond manner. “You’re worth more than the price I pay for this.”

He leans in and presses his lips to yours swiftly, your head clearing of thoughts almost immediately. It feels so right, you can feel the spark, the red thread around your skin, hear the bells. This kiss was far more perfect than it was supposed to be.

You part, gasping. Jaehyun blinks at you, breathing heavily.

“Kiss me again.”

Jaehyun does as told and you might just believe in miracles this way. With his hand around your waist and in your hair, his lips over yours and the low rumbling laughter that parts the two of you—you might just believe in miracles. You might just believe that love isn't something you deserve by earning.

“I like this,” Jaehyun comments. “I like the way this is.”

You press your finger to his lips. “I think you should shut up and kiss me some more.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I know you’re sexually repressed as of now, but that’s no reason to take advantage of me.”

You scowl, punching him on the shoulder and moving away from him.

“Come back,” he complains in a quiet voice.

“I am not going to do that.” You cross your arms.

“Come on,” he mutters, inching closer as you inch away, till your back hits the couch and you tumble backwards onto it, your legs on the headrest. Jaehyun laughs at your position, leaning in to keep his hands on either side of you, a doting look over him.

“Hey, did you know if I kicked my leg up, it would hit you in the balls?”

“Please don’t do that.”

You giggle, Jaehyun’s nose rubbing against yours in a bunny kiss. 

“Is your place usually this much of a mess?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. 

You sigh heavily. “I was having a bad day, okay? Or… a bad weekend.”

“Do you even have food?”

You look away, crossing your arms. Jaehyun sighs and shakes his head.

“We should go grocery shopping. How do you live like this?”

You scoff. “Oh, spare me the lecture. I’ve heard enough horror stories about your room from Sicheng. You can’t hide from me by sweeping your clothes and belongings into his room.”

“Snitch,” he mutters under his breath.

You can’t help the giggle that erupts from your mouth and you immediately cover it. Jaehyun smiles at you fondly and you look away, unable to bear that gaze of his.

“It really won’t wash off, by the way,” Jaehyun states, scratching at his collarbone.

You narrow your eyes, smacking his arms away to roll off the couch. Taking his wrist, you walk into your bathroom and turn the tap on. Something’s strange. But also strangely right.

“Look, I already tried—ow! Don’t rub that hard!”

You blink in confusion, trying again despite Jaehyun looking like his soul already left him. It doesn’t work. Your marker isn’t even that permanent. At least his regenerating skin cells should get rid of that arrow. Unless the ink was deep enough to pierce all the layers, as in a soulmark.

You gasp.

“You were right!”

“I told you s—”

"That's the point, isn't it?" you say, realization dawning as your eyes widen. "To see if people will question the system at all."

Jaehyun shrugs. “Maybe.”

"Oh, all those unhappy marriages that could have been saved," you say as you exhale. 

Jaehyun chuckles lightly. "I think that the point was, people can be happy without their soulmates. It's whoever you make one out of. Or I Googled too many articles on anti-soulmate propaganda."

You smile, leaning in to press a kiss against his cheek. Watching his ears turn bright red is the cherry on top.

“Okay, fake-boyfriend-turned-real-soulmate.” You give him a cheeky smile. “Did you rethink your decision about sharing that Netflix password with me? I get the girlfriend free pass, right? Right?”

“I didn’t even share it with my mother.”

You whack his arm, him possibly used to it by now, judging from his lack of response. 

“Idiot.” You cross your arms. “We can Netflix… and chill then. God, I can’t believe I said that.”

Jaehyun breaks into a chuckle. “You’re so pushy.”

 “And you like being pushed around, nerd.”

“Who said that?”

Jaehyun wraps his arms around you, spinning you so that your back hits the door. He leans in to kiss you again and you smack your palm over his pouted lips. You laugh at his face, his eyes brimming with confusion.

“You’re in my apartment. I make the rules here. Think twice before you start a game with me, Mister.”

His shoulders droop. “Fine. Can you at least let me kiss you four times a day?”

“Five times, if you ask.”

He laughs before leaning in again. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“You are one hell of a woman. Emphasis on hell.”

You laugh and grab his collar, pulling him in for the kiss that seals this deal.

You realize a few things in the moment: a) You don’t have to play roulette to find love, b) You don’t have to pick your poison to find love, and most importantly c) Love is right where you make something of it. Fate is still not in your good books but if it bends to you this way, you don’t mind at all. If Jaehyun kisses you like this every day, you don’t mind one bit. 

[caycaysblogg]

I Love You So..

Chishiya x Reader

Song Fic<3

Oneshot - Angst</3

OOC Chishiya - Him Showing feelings

TW!!; Violence, Death, Blood, Losing a loved one

' I just need someone in my life to give it structure.. '

Me and Chishiya we're currently walking to one of the game arenas, it was one of those nights we're we have to attend a game yet again.

' To handle all the selfish ways I'd spend my times without her '

' You think the game will be easy for tonight? ' giving chishiya a glance before looking forward again, ' Hm, probably ' He shrugged, He was a specialized in Diamonds so we only hoped it was a game of diamonds

' Hey Chishiya? Whatever happens tonight, I'm sure we'll both live ' you stopped walking to smile brightly at him, he gave you a glance and slightly smiled at you

' You're everything I want, but I can't deal with all your lovers '

It's already been 10 minutes, The game was ' Hide and Seek ' one person would be the wolf and the rest would be the lamb's, at the end of the game whoever the wolf is would live, which leaves the Lamb's to die.

The current wolf was chishiya, everybody was after him,

What about me? Was I after him? No, I was sitting right next to him.

' You're saying I'm the one, but it's your actions that speak louder '

' Ha.. This is the end for us huh? ' smiling weakly, tears started forming and rolling down my face, after we both gone through, one of us needed to live, there was no other choice.

' ..I guess so ' chishiya responded back, he held my hand, chishiya never shown any type of affection to me, but this time was different

' Giving me love when you are down '

" WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! COME OUT " one of the players yelled out, Everybody was begging him to let them live, but he didn't budge

' 5 minutes left '

' Hey chishiya? What would it have been like if we met under normal circumstances? '

' and need another I've gotta get away and let you go '

' we would be having a normal life, and be happy '

He sighed out, he knew things would have been better if everything was normal, both of you wouldn't have to be suffering in this hell hole, if only you didn't get picked to join him in tonight's game

' 3 Minute left '

The robotic voice called out, you started laughing sadly, chishiya didn't know what to feel but numbness, ' Hey chishiya? You know I love you right? ' you sadly said, the players already stopped trying to find chishiya, it was no use either way

' I've gotta get over '

You love him? You always told him that, but telling him that right now Hurted him, ' Y/N, look at me ' you knew what he ment

' chishiya no, you know that you're the one who needs to live ' you sighed out

' But I love you so '

' please, I want you to live ' he begged, he turned to you, holding you by the shoulders ' please just fucking look at me ' You didn't budge, Tears started to form in chishiya's eyes

' 2 minutes left '

' chishiya, please don't make this harder than it's suppose to be ' You kept looking away, wiping you're tears away

' I Love you so.. '

He was shaking you, He kept begging for you to look at him

' I Love you so.. '

' CHISHIYA STOP IT PLEASE ' You screamed out, He was shocked

' I Love you so '

You never yelled at him ever, only when things we're too serious

' I'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind '

' 1 minute left '

Realization hit him, You accepted it

' This feeling's old and I know that I've made up my mind '

You accepted the fact you we're gonna die, he let go of you're shoulders and leaned back on the wall, tears starting to fall down his face

' 40 seconds left '

' I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul '

He was crying

' Cause you were cruel and I'm a fool '

He held you're hand tightly, ' Chishiya.. please let me go.. '

' 30 seconds left '

' Y/N please no, please don't fucking leave me ' He cried out, Holding you're hand even tighter, You tried pulling away from him

' But I love you so.. ' He sobbed out

' please let me go.. ' You wipe you're tears away again

' I love you so.. ' He said once again, giving u a hug this time

' 20 seconds left '

' Please.. just let me go.. ' You started to lightly hit chishiya's back, fully sobbing now, you stopped hitting his back

' 10 seconds left '

' even if I die, atleast keep me a promise.. ' You backed away from the hug

' 5 seconds left '

' Live for me please.. I love you.. ' cupping his face, you gave him a kiss

' 4 seconds left '

Chishiya kissed back quickly, but you pulled away

' 3 seconds left '

Looking back down, you back away from him, you're tears we're gone now, you understand you're gonna die now.

' 2 seconds left '

Chishiya sighed, wiping away the last few tears ' I love you y/n, Thank you for everything.. '

' 1 second left '

' goodbye chishiya.. '

Blood was splattered everywhere, you're body dropped to it's knees and fell, chishiya sat there looking at the dead corpse, Crying once more..

[moemoemammon]

MC's Chuck E Cheese Birthday Party!

(Feat. The Demon Bros and Luke)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Did everything in his power to try to talk you out of choosing Chuck E Cheese's as your party destination, but,,, it's what you wanted, so,,,

He'll sit in a booth and watch you like a moody parent. That is, until Mammon harasses him into joining in on the "fun".

LONG, DRAMATIC SIGH,,,,, if he has no choice, he supposes he could play a few games and give you whatever he wins. 

Satan somehow managed to convince him to play air hockey, and Lucifer surprisingly agreed. Yeah he was suspicious of his gremlin brother’s intentions, but it’d probably be fine.

What was supposed to be a friendly game between brothers has turned into an all out war. Their blinding speed turns the puck into a blur, and they’ve gathered a crowd-

Lucifer wins, but he doesn’t have a chance to celebrate because someone throws a fucking slice of pizza at the back of his head

Mammon

This isn't what HE would've chosen, but he guesses it's fine. An arcade means gambling in some way, right?

Makes a beeline for the coin drop game. He loves also loves the games that give you a 20% chance of winning a jackpot of some kind and honestly?? He's fucking GOOD... when Asmodeus isn't constantly poking his sides and making him mess up.

It takes him no time to figure out the algorithms of those games and now he's raking in all the tickets. Staff is suspicious as hell

Especially when they see a grown man walk up to the prize counter with his arms full of tickets, no children in sight.

"MC! Get over here and pick out some prizes! I won all this for yet birthday, so let me spoil ya!"

Ok thank you for the hundreds of stuffed animals and cheap plastic toys Mammon

Levi

See, Levi was excited when you suggested going to a human world arcade, but he didn't think you meant.... something like THIS. Why don’t any of the dance games have songs by Ruri-chan??? What a waste...

But it's still technically an arcade, so he might as well enjoy it since he couldn't go home. And maybe he could impress you by earning a ton of tickets! These human world arcade games are gonna be a cakewalk.

...Is what he thought, until he realized that the controls were so worn from millions of children manhandling them that he couldn’t play at all! Why couldn’t these stupid normie games cooperate?!

 But the thing that finally made him snap was when a little kid told him he sucked. 

Cue Levi abandoning all moral principles and absolutely OBLITERATING this toddler at Frogger. You think he won’t go all out against a baby?? You are wrong. 

It’s not about morals, MC. It’s a matter of his pride as a gaming master, so please stand back while he makes a human child cry.

Satan

See, Satan is all for celebrating the way you want to (and he's good at pretending like he's not bothered), but he can't really say that a pizza and sweat scented arcade full of screaming children is the best place to read a book

Regardless, it’s pretty funny watching you run around like an excited little kid, dragging everyone around to the nearest game.

Then he gets the great idea of harassing Lucifer into playing air hockey with him. “It’s MC’s birthday, so why don’t we let loose a little?”

All hell breaks loose and now they’ve attracted the attention of a crowd of amazed children, all according to plan. How humiliating would it be for Lucifer to lose in front of CHILDREN?

Thought he was slick and cursed the puck to move away from Lucifer every time he tried to hit it, but somehow he’s?? still winning???

Satan would’ve been pissed off if not for the mysterious slice of pizza that came sailing through the air and hit Lucifer in the back of the head

Asmo

The tables are sticky. Everything smells weird. Children are everywhere. Everything is so flashy and gaudy that it’s giving him a headache-

This wasn’t Asmo’s party destination of choice, but... well.. it’s fine as long as he sticks to you, right? 

Also refuses to touch anything because as familiar as he may be with sticky surfaces, this ain’t it chief.

Since he’s so bored, he decides to Mammon, constantly poking and tickling him so he’ll loose at the games he’s playing, and runs away when he’s attacked

Soon enough though, Asmo excuses himself to the bathroom, thinking no one notices how he’s dragging a staff member toward the supply closet-

Eventually comes back to tell you that he set something up, so now you can get whatever prize you’d like!

Beel

Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pi-

Yeah, Beel is fine with wherever you wanna go for your birthday. It's your special day after all! So when you suggest whatever the hell 'Chuck E Cheese' is, he's just happy you're happy

Also wants to know what kind of cheese they have. Asks you if Mr. Chuck himself can be eaten. Sad when you say no....

At the end of the party, you notice that the other staff members are whispering amongst themselves about the sudden disappearance of a certain rat mascot.

Beel is sweating. Why is there stuffing on your shirt collar, Beel.

Oh man oh no, Lucifer got hit with pizza! Beel thinks he should go over there and eat it for him. Sorry, gotta go-

Belphie

Belphie wasn’t a big fan of your choice for a birthday destination, mostly because there was no way he’d be able to sleep with all the music and screaming going on, but who is he to argue against your decision?

Besides, he soon realizes that the sky tunnels are the PERFECT nap spot, save for the occasional kid crawling over him.

It also gives him a bird’s eye view of everything that’s going on, including the intense air hockey battle between Lucifer and Satan.

Hey wouldn’t it be funny if he uhhh threw a slice of pizza at Lucifer’s head lmao yEET

Seeing Lucifer’s reaction is everything he needed to turn this day into an even better one. Now he can sleep peacefully <3

Falls asleep and gets left there on accident because no one can find him

Luke

Belphie is literally blocking Luke in and he can’t eSCAPe

All he did was follow a kid into the tunnels! They looked so fun that he couldn’t resist, despite his many claims that he wasn’t a child and shouldn’t be treated as such. 

But when he saw you waving at him from one of the tunnel windows, he became determined to crawl to every window he could find and wave from there, too.

Then Belphegor came along.

How can anyone sleep so soundly?? He’s been smacking, shoving, and poking the sleeping demon but nothing is working! Time to cry-

Also gets left behind because no one can hear him screaming.

[thera-daydreams]

PLUS ONE

》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《

[Maliksi x Reader]

📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.

📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃

(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?

》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《

Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰

Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘

There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕

The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.

"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.

Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.

"Go on."

"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"

"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.

"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."

"Uh-huh."

You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"

The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.

"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"

"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."

It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.

"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."

The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."

Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).

"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"

He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."

"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"

"Heh. Whatever you want to think."

Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?

It Was Always You by Maroon 5.

Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.

In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.

Best Friend by Rex Orange County.

Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.

"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"

Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.

"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."

》》》

"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"

If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.

When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.

He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.

"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."

"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.

Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).

You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."

"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.

"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"

"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."

You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."

"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."

You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"

"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"

"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."

"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.

"Oh my God..."

Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).

"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.

Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."

Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"

"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.

"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).

The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.

"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"

"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.

"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."

They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.

"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."

"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"

"Ge. Without question."

Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.

"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"

"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."

"Do you want kids? How many?"

"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"

"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"

Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.

"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.

"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.

He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.

"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."

With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.

The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."

Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.

Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.

"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.

"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.

"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."

Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)

》》》

"Smile for the picture!"

You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).

"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"

"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."

"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."

It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.

"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"

And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.

"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.

"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.

You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"

"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.

"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"

Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."

"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."

Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."

Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.

"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."

》》》

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.

"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"

"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.

"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."

More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.

"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"

"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?

"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.

"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."

"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."

"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."

Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.

You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."

When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.

《《《

"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."

"Good. Thanks."

"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."

"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."

The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."

》》》

Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.

《《《

"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."

"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"

"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."

The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?

"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.

"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"

Maliksi hummed, "Basta."

》》》

You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.

That someone being you. Most likely.

"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.

"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"

Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.

Ah, what a wonderful evening.

Sike!

Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.

... Wait, leaves and flowers?

Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."

What just happened?

"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"

Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.

"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."

See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.

"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.

"Ready na ready!"

"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"

"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.

"3, 2, 1, go!"

There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!

The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.

Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?

Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.

You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.

Son of a—

"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"

The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).

"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?

The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.

You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!

"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."

"What is it?"

"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???

The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?

"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.

He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?

Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.

He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.

Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.

Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.

To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.

His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!

Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.

"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.

You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.

"Higher! That's an order!"

Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.

Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.

"Higher! Higher!"

The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"

Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.

"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."

With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.

Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.

"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"

You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.

You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.

》》》

You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.

"Mal?" you finally spoke up.

"... Hmm?"

"Ano tayo?"

"Whatever you want us to be."

Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.

"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.

"Yes. I do."

"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.

"..."

Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.

Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.

"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.

You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."

"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."

"Ah." He swayed you gently.

"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"

"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."

You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."

"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.

"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."

The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"

"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"

Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"

"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"

He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.

"You're missing one more title."

"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"

"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.

The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.

All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.

Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.

Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.

Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.

Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie

[lermisv4]

Zelda ost is vanishing

So, many of you Zelda fans out there look up Zelda music on YouTube. To study, to chill, to vibe, etc. Some of you may pick a specific game and listen to the whole soundtrack, while some others may put a playlist of some mix of games. I know there are many people who listen specifically the the dungeon OSTs. If you look up “zelda dungeon music”, the very first result on a blank browser (not logged in) is a list titled “zelda dungeon music - UPDATED”.

I am the one who created and maintains that list. And I’m posting this to complain about Nintendo.

I honestly can’t remember when I made the list, only why. I noticed that the previously most popular list was incomplete. I think they did not have the Link Between Worlds soundtrack? I don’t know. But I was kind of disappointed about that so I figured “hey I’m doing nothing on my account” (I haven’t uploaded a single video, lol - hell, at the time the only reason I even HAD an account was because Google had just bought YouTube) “so may as well make the list myself!”

It was... mildly difficult. For the most popular games, I could just go to GilvaSunner’s channel and pick the tracks, but for most of the 2D games I had to look for channels of the same quality and pick tracks from there. There was also the fact that I REALLY wanted the playlist to cover everything, so I had to make a few choices on WHAT to choose. Do I include caverns? If not, why? If yes, why? Is it fair to include the caverns of one game and not the other? (eventually I decided on “depends on whether you get a key item from them / plot significance”) Do I include spinoff titles, like Hyrule Warriors? (I decided no) How do I manage games with a stage-type structure, like Four Swords? Do I put the songs in the order I find them on the playlists or according to their in-game appearance? Do I include the dungeon intros? I tried that, but it didn’t flow well. Hell, at one point I tried to add ALL THE VARIATIONS OF THE TRIFORCE HEROES STAGES but not even a third through I was like NOPE. Yes, I know the titles in that part in the playlist are in french, I honestly thought it was a quirk of the game due to the whole “fashion” thing.

Eventually, I had a cool playlist I was happy with more songs than THE most popular playlist, and I was secretely hoping it would surpass the other playlist in views because clearly mine is the better one! (yeah, I know how that sounds) It was slow going at first and I was frustrated when for a long time YouTube searches would not show it among the results - I can’t remember how long it took me to make, but it was a while. But over time some people started noticing, I got a few thousand views, and it started growing increasingly popular until it had almost as many views as the most popular one. I added UPDATED on the title to let people know that THIS list was up to date.

That playlist had become really important to me at that time. I know it’s stupid of being proud of something like that, but I listened to it all the time - whether I was studying or writing fanfiction and needed a vibe trip to the fantasy realm or whatever. It got me through some pretty tough exam periods, let me tell you.

Then Breath of the Wild came out. That was when I started noticing problems.

I was a few months late to the party because real life kicked my ass (still does), but eventually I watched a full walkthrough of the game and obviously decided it high-time I add the new tracks. After all, it has “UPDATED” in the title, I can’t leave it without the tracks of such an immensely popular game.

So first I went to GilvaSunner’s channel to add the new tracks. But they weren’t there. Okay... I found a different channel. Oh nice. I added the new tracks, making sure to include additional ones in accordance to my broadened standards. I left the list alone, happy once again.

A few months later, I noticed that all the BotW tracks had been deleted. I was EXTREMELY weirded out. I found another channel which took those tracks and reuploaded them. Oh, okay, problem solved. Then THOSE tracks were taken down. The channel reuploaded them again. I readded them. Then slowly, over the course of time, I noticed that various tracks in the playlist would randomly go missing. Like the dungeon theme from Phantom Hourglass, or the stuff from a Link to the Past, or that something happened to the Spirit tracks soundtrack. Each and every time, I would search YouTube, trying to recall WHICH tracks were missing (I never wrote the list anywhere because I have my criteria memorized), reorganising them - sometimes on my phone, during class - and always with a low-key nervousness that I may have forgotten something. Oftentimes I would find notices of the type “this video is not available in your country” which REALLY pissed me off.

Then, last year, all the Ocarina of Time songs went missing. I borderline panicked back then, but I was able to - once again - find the tracks and replace them, but with the thought of “who tf would take them down”.

I know who would. Nintendo, that’s who. By that point I kept hearing stuff about how they would take down stuff like mods, or some channels, but I never thought they’d attack a channel that’s been there forever and was abandoned for a few years.

Yesterday, I decided to replay the list. The entirety of Majora’s Mask, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, Link Between Worlds, and most of the Skyward Sword and Link to the Past soundtracks were taken down. And I DON’T KNOW WHEN.

I freaked the F out. I spent literal hours looking for the tracks online, wondering what else was missing, if I would even find what I needed online, how long would it take, and when the hell did this happen!? I slapped an “under repairs” notice on the playlist and went searching. Eventually I found replacements for everything.

Then today, the original LOZ soundtrack and the rest of the Skyward Sword ones went missing. The LOZ dungeon theme I had on the playlist was a 30 second video. And they deleted that. It was online for about TEN YEARS. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find replacements for that stuff? You’ll find extended versions and dozens of different covers, but never the originals.

As for Skyward Sword? Today I was only able to find a few extended versions of the missing tracks. NONE of the originals. So I put the “under repairs” label on the list again, and now I can only hope somebody uploads them, and that no more game music channels will be attacked within the month.

I freaking HATE Nintendo for doing this. Remove the soundtrack? Some of these games are older than I am. Piracy? Bitch please. If you didn’t want people pirating your content, THEN YOU WOULD HAVE MADE IT AVAILABLE TO ALL. Yeah, I pirate the shit out of everything. But I WOULD buy if it was AVAILABLE! “Buy the official comic” they say WELL MAKE AN OFFICIAL TRANSLATION SO WE CAN. “Buy the official version” well maybe if you would sell it without requiring some weird regional check and subscription - if you even sell it to begin with.

I hate this. I freaking hate this.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make a community post so I would at least have a means for others to inform me if they noticed something wrong. I have like - only eleven subscribers but that’s not the issue, I have a playlist with over 200.000 views that people obviously like and I want to deliver. I failed at making a post because I couldn’t find the freaking option and I gave up out of frustration. And today THIS happened.

I am seriously considering downloading all those tracks in a sound only format on my laptop, and if something gets deleted again to upload it myself. But the thought scares me. I did not even WANT that Youtube account. I have uploaded absolutely no videos. I simply have a few playlists of shit that I like. But like I said, that Zelda dungeon music playlist is the most popular on YouTube. What if they decide that “no, that’s not acceptable” and decide to strike with the banhammer?

I don’t know if anyone CAN offer a solution, but I really needed to vent. I started this thing for the vibes, I don’t want to chase around the uploads for who knows how many years in the future. Sometimes I even think that whoever takes down this stuff may be finding obscure YouTube channels BECAUSE of my playlist. But... I know it sounds stupid but I can’t let go of it.

So here. That’s my confession. I needed to get this out of my chest. You can look it up yourselves. Yeah, that’s my real name there I won’t deny it, nothing to hide. Enjoy my playlist because I don’t know how long it’s going to be around. And please keep in mind that as of the time of writing, the Skyward Sword section is missing most of the tracks.

Thank you for reading.

EDIT: UPDATE - I managed to restore the full playlist and download all the tracks I needed on my PC. Here’s hoping there’s no new round of takedowns on 2023.