#the shitfest ends

[maybe-the-madman]

a dragon is not a slave

[quietblissxx]

Guess who is getting dragged into work drama again against my fucking will

[dethl]

oh god i hate this fucking tumblr change. labelling "mutuals" in the activity feed wouldve caused a bloodbath on this site ten years ago

[gaytommykinard]

i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.

but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.

using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?

say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.

and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?

and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.

at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.

but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.

anyway. just my two cents 🫶

[tenjikyu]

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 - 𝘧𝘢𝘺𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ what happens when chifuyu is forced to break it off with you ?

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ gn!reader , angst to fluff , forced breakup , lots of crying , vv sad chifuyu :( , kinda short sos .

chifuyu seriously had no idea what he was doing.

the look on your face was an expression he vowed to never have you make at the beginning of your relationship.

“i’m sorry (Y/N), but we should really stop seeing eachother. i’m not happy with you and i want to end it.” he spits out, almost choking on his own words. it felt as though something was blocking his airways, punishing him for breaking your heart.

“okay…” your voice speaks out, tears of your own flooding your cheeks.

as you slowly walked away from your beloved boyfriend, you couldn’t help but wonder. where did you go wrong? he didn’t seem unhappy 3 days ago when you two went to the arcade with hanagaki and tachibana, did he? when did this begin?

your only bodily response was more tears that were protruding down your face, nose crimson red and eyes slowly puffing up. you walk away slowly, assuming he no longer wanted to be around you.

“godamnit” chifuyu gets out before his own tears flood down his cheeks.

only a few hours earlier, your father had sat down with your boyfriend, unbeknownst to you.

“i don’t want you dating my child and i think i’ve made that very clear.” your father almost spits in disgust at your appalled boyfriend. break up?? with you?? no fuckin way??

“you��re a good for nothing delinquent who does nothing but heat up other boys. the only times i’ve even seen you, you’re beat up and injured! how long before you get (Y/N) involved in your violence, or even worse, lay a hand on my child.”

“ I WOULDN’T DARE RAISE MY HAND TO (Y/N).” the blonde screeched, overwhelmed and stressed. why now? why did he have to do this right before such a big holiday? did he want to ruin your christmas??

chifuyu knows you splurge about him to your family, that’s how your father knows so much about him, including what he gets up to when the sun goes down. but you never spoke ill of him, so why is your dad getting so defensive?

he’s proven on multiple occasions he’s a total gentleman to you! and he gets the same treatment back from you! you open doors for each other, make food for one another, come racing over when one of you is sick e.t.c. why do this now?

but..

in the back of chifuyu mind, he starts to wonder.

what would happen if you got dragged into this? what if someone uses you as a way to get information?

it’s obvious to anyone that chifuyu is a loyal man, and his loyalties lies with keisuke baji, takemichi hanagaki and you. there’s no chance he wouldn’t give away valuable info to keep you protected, anyone in toman could see just how dedicated he is to keeping you safe.

this thought runs through his head as he breaks up with you, just 2 days before christmas. before his christmas battle.

the next two days were a shitfest. you father didn’t take into account how this would affect you. you had locked yourself in your bedroom, sobbing to the polaroid photos of you and you beloved boyfriend that you took together everyday.

of course, you’re mother does everything to comfort you after hearing what had happened, however you were inconsolable.

“mom, this is the boy i thought i was going to marry, you don’t just get over that.” you sigh. no amount of hugs could help you.

“in my opinion he was only a setback. you should be greatful he’s gone.” your father speaks up.

. .

. . . .

wait…

you practically yanked the door off its hinges, startling you mother who was sat on your bed in another fruitless attempt to console you. you had only just heard what your father said to himself, and in that moment you knew why chifuyu had broken up with you.

“IT WAS YOU! YOU TOLD CHIFUYU TO BREAK UP WITH ME, DIDN’T YOU”. you bawled to your father, his face in total astonishment that you had spoken to him in such a manner, especially on christmas night.

“YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM, DO YOU DAD?? I SING HIS PRAISES EVERYDAY BUT ALL YOU TAKE HIM FOR IS A STUPID DELINQUENT! MAYBE IF YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM MORE, YOU’D SEE HE CARES ABOUT ME MORE THEN ANYTHING!” you scream towards your stunned father, guilt piling up in his stomach.

knowing what you had to do, you chucked a coat over your pijamas, your family yelling at you to come back inside.

you didn’t care, you had to get to your boyfriend.

though you didn’t make it very far, as chifuyu was stood right outside your house with tears welling in his eyes. he was battered beyond belief, uniform thrashed and body more blood then skin. he had a serious injury on his ankle and his bike was parked next to him.

“chifuyu..” you mumble out, running towards him, your arms opening wide.

“(Y/N)-” he couldn’t finish his sentence as you crashed into his embrace, one of your arms caress waist, with the other embracing his beaten cheek.

he held onto your shoulders, huddling into your warmth. he could only pray to the gods above that you’d forgive him.

“i’m so sorry (Y/N), please… i can’t do anything without you by my side. the entire fight i felt sick to my stomach, but not because i had been struck multiple times in it. it was because i couldn’t bare the thought of not being with you on christmas day. your tears were sewn into my memory, and i just couldn’t handle it.” he chokes out, huddling closer to you in a seek of comfort.

“it’s okay chifuyu, i forgive you.” you coo, his face was beaten to shit, but chifuyu could never not be adorable to you.

you were just happy to have your boyfriend in your arms once more.

in the distance, giggling can be heard from your mother as your father watches the interaction.

“i don’t know why you even tried breaking them up, don’t you see how whipped (Y/N) is for the kid? they do everything together. chifuyu has stayed over multiple times and had dinner with us so much i’m surprised he hasn’t pre-proposed.” she laughs.

“i guess i’ll take that hit. in my defense though, that kid only seems to come over when i’m not around!” your father complains, however your mother just holds his face.

“well, after these past few days i wouldn’t blame him if he avoids you all together.”

[gaybirdlovescrackers]

Okey here's a bit of a BATMAN idea rant.

But I kinda want a comic where Batman's parents weren't really good people.

Like I know there are such comics, but like hear me out.

For me, it was interesting when The Batman (2022) movie kinda teased that the Wayne's might actually be corrupt. And even though they pulled it off in the end, I was still disappointed when it turns out Thomas Wayne was extorted by a Mob Boss.

Like, especially with how the world is seen nowadays, old rich people fall more and more into being greedy and selfish, other than generous philanthropists.

So it was interesting how, for a moment, Pattinson's Batman had to choose to be good, not in the name of his parent's legacy, but because being good is the right thing to do.

So what if the Wayne's were corrupt? Is it really a bad thing that Brucie Wayne hates everything his parents stood up for?

I feel like it gives him more agency and more independence. Because he would have to realize that even what his heroes (parents) were doing wasn't enough. He had to really see and think about why he wanted to help. He had to think beyond: "it will make my parents proud."

I think that's one of the reasons why people like Tony Stark's character arc in the first Iron Man movie. He was a greedy piece of shit who didn't realize he hurt people because he was too focused on making a quick buck. And the only way he changed was by living the hurt he caused first hand.

They kinda teased about it in the Christopher Nolan movies as well. Bruce Wayne loved his parents, and they were nice, but what made him want to change the world was the fact that it needed to be done. The world was a shitfest despite nice people living in it.

So what if Brucie Wayne isn't just a stupid rich boy persona to help up cover his identity? What if both Batman and Bruce Wayne made a change, one through fear and one through example?

Sometimes we need both. We need a Bat to scare the bad people away, and a Bruce to use his resources to make sure the changes happen.

(Then I went into a 10k rant about other stuff that really weren't about Batman but I feel like this is enough.) Yet I kinda want to keep talking about it.

But maybe ILL DRAW IT???? MAYBE????

[luvnami]

shinazugawa sanemi is NOT the love interest of my dream office romcom! - chapter 4 (tell me)

an | notes at the end. likes/rbs/comments appreciated <3 find the masterlist here cw/wc | lovesick fools, mdni (18+), 2.2k+

It’s Saturday and you’re on an economy flight to Okinawa. Out of context, it seems like a dream. Sandy beaches, cultural heritage sites, black sugar desserts… You’d be ten times, no, a thousand times more excited if you weren’t sitting next to your boss. 

Shinazugawa sits strapped into his seat, his legs cast wide open and bumping into your knee. You have to shimmy to the other end of your seat so that you can avoid touching him. Unfortunately, Shinazugawa takes it as an invitation to spread his legs even wider than before, forcing you to sit uncomfortably in order to make space for him. 

“Shinazugawa,” you say placidly. “You’re really considerate of my personal space, you know?”

You smile sweetly. Too sweetly, in fact, that Shinazugawa finds it eerie, and mumbles something along the lines of ‘my bad’. You force your legs open and bump into his knee, hard. Shinazugawa keeps his legs to himself after that. 

The flight takes about two and a half hours to Okinawa’s Ishigaki airport from Tokyo. You’d love to work on that multichapter story you have going on, but you quite obviously can’t let Shinazugawa see the skeletons in your closet one more time. Instead, you close your eyes and put on your headphones. 

As much as you have written fanfiction about perfect relationships more times than you can count – surprising your partner with a bouquet of flowers, heated make-out make-up sessions in the rain, cute domestic moments –  your real life experience regarding love and romance is lacking. No one you dated was really that great or lasted that long. Once you entered the workforce, you’d been too busy to even think about entertaining someone else’s time. 

You’ve gone through a whole assortment of partners: cheaters, manipulators, gaslighters, mommy’s boys, gold diggers, even the one person who tried to steal your underwear. The bar is quite literally in hell. Despite this, you’ve found that many of the partners over the course of your life seem to stumble over it anyways. Dating apps are a shitfest of ‘looking for a good time’, which translates into ‘looking for a quick fuck’. Chance encounters leaves creeps who include stalkers, perverts, and possibly psychopaths, which you would love to avoid for your own safety. 

Shinazugawa sits firmly in the ‘No Dating’ category because he’s your boss (though you may be inclined to move him to a greyer area, given the chance). Office relationships are more trouble than what they’re worth and rumours spread through the departments faster than a forest fire. Last week, you heard that Uzui from Graphic Design got caught with not one, but three employees outside a love hotel. You shudder at the thought of having your personal life turning into office gossip, a quick laugh for employees who linger in the break room too long. Though, the whole foursome thing sounds pretty interesting, and you stow that memory away for a future writing project. 

You may be strongly against dating your boss, but he does have some redeeming qualities. For what it’s worth, Shinazugawa is good-looking and… kind? The adjective floats in the air, and you’re unsure if you’ve actually had him be nice to you. He’s usually annoyed at most things. On the off chance he isn’t, Shinazugawa’s eating some sort of traditional sweet. Rumours say he once smiled while drinking matcha, though you doubt that. 

You wouldn’t peg Shinazugawa (haha) to be the most gentlemanly, kindhearted person in the world, but surely there’s some good in his cold, dark heart. Either that or the stroke game might make up for it. You don’t know if you want to know the answer to that one. 

You try to think about something other than boning your boss. 

You try really, really hard. 

.

When you land, a driver picks you up from the airport and drives you to the ferry terminal, where you and Shinazugawa catch a boat ride from Ishigaki to Taketomi island. You’re thankful you’re not easily seasick, but the short trip makes Shinazugawa look like he’s ready to throw up overboard. You pretend not to notice. 

The island is quiet, with a population of about 300 people. It’s a life away from Tokyo. For once, you aren’t assaulted with the familiar trill of a Suntory advertisement, or neon lights raging from a dingy bar. The sunlight is pleasantly warm, making the back of your neck damp. You take in a slow, deep breath of the ocean air. It’s refreshing. 

Your accommodation for the night is a short walk away. A few stray cats loiter shyly by the front gate, staring at you with their narrow pupils till you get too close and they scamper off into the bushes. The owner is a pleasant middle-aged man. He shows you the annexed guest house and the amenities, before leaving you and Shinazugawa to settle down. 

A cool wave of air conditioning hits you as you enter the guest house, making your skin prickle. You instantly spot two twin beds. Thank god. It isn’t quite as secure as having separate rooms, but you guess that management was already trying to cut down the budget on your trip, so this will have to do.

You’re quick to claim the bed nearest to the wall. If anything happens, you could pretend to be asleep and have your back turned to Shinazugawa. You have a myriad of backup plans just in case of the trip going south. Including, but not limited to: getting diarrhoea, falling and getting caught in Shinazugawa’s buff arms, him finding your ugly high waisted grandma underwear, or even sneaking through your phone and discovering your writing blog. The solution to one of those situations may include you ‘disappearing’ off the coast of Taketomi. You’d catch an early ferry back, dispose of a fake corpse off the beach, move back to your rural hometown and plant vegetables for the rest of your life.  

You like to think of yourself as overprepared, and not so much an overthinker. 

Honestly, you weren’t exactly pleased about sharing a room. What if Shinazugawa smothers you to death with a pillow? What if he finds out you snore and tells everyone at work? Or worst of all, what if you’re gassy in your sleep and fart bomb your boss? You can’t exactly quell all your fears, you suppose. You simply pray that dinner tonight is gentle on your gut. On the other hand, there’s the image of Shinazugawa emerging fresh from a hot bath, his hair wet and a towel loosely tied around his waist. Now, that’s something you can certainly distract yourself with. 

You busy yourself with setting your bags down. You hadn’t brought much, just a change of clothes, skincare, and some other essentials (including an emergency fake passport for, you know, purposes). Shinazugawa stretches his arms above his head with a heavy sigh. You briefly glance over at him from your corner of the room. His shirt rises over the waistband of his pants, showing a sliver of pale skin and the elastic of his underwear. Black and white, simple and mature. Blood rushes to your face. You duck your head, accidentally bumping your elbow against the wall, and you yelp in pain.

Shinazugawa turns to look at you. 

“Are you okay?”

You don’t dare to meet his eyes. You can’t explain that the reason why you hit yourself accidentally was because you were ogling Shinazugawa like he was a man slut, so you fold your lips into a tight line and nod. You are in all honesty no better than a man. 

Shinazugawa stares. He wants to walk over and make sure that you’re really okay, but he’s struggling in his own right to not cross the strange, blurry boundary between employer and employee. Sure. You’re cute. Shinazugawa can admit that much. He wouldn’t necessarily say that he has a crush on you, though. Crushes are for teenagers, puppy love that dissolves into disgust when one party gets the ick from something dumb. 

Shinazugawa can’t pinpoint the exact date when his feelings started to get muddled. Around that time, Shinazugawa was noticeably more on edge and shouted for you to come to his office at least twice a day. He was somewhat satisfied with seeing you more often, but your stress and anxiety at work increased as a result. You were convinced your boss was eventually going to murder you for any small mistake you made. Masachika had to text Shinazugawa how you always jolted when someone called your name, a flight response you had unknowingly picked up. He learned to dial down his yelling after that.  

Shinazguawa doesn’t force himself to think about how you pout when he scolds you (which makes him feel bad for a second, but Christ, he really didn’t need you to fuck up that presentation), the sleepy look on your face when you come into work the morning after overtime (eyes all bleary and the back of your hair unbrushed), or the rare moment where you’re professional and incredibly attractive while you whittle down clients to sign a contract – but your lips look soft and your eyes are pretty and if there’s anything that Shinazugawa likes, it’s a mature person who knows how to do their job, but who is also a little dense. 

You may have baited, hooked, and reeled Shinazugawa in without even realising it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that having you on the same project team was his intention all along, but he’s not the kind of person to admit defeat so easily, even when you’re going to be sharing a room with him for the night. He’s a capable, late twenty-something adult, and Shinazugawa surely doesn’t need you to tempt him more than you already have.

Maybe he wants to be tempted. He’ll never admit it. 

When Shinazugawa found you that night, fanfiction lighting up the dim office with your bright monitor, he wasn’t dumb enough to scold you right away. He watched you from a safe distance, reading the words on your screen as his face warmed till his head was about to explode from the sheer pressure. You were writing about him – him! Calling him handsome, stunning, soul-achingly good looking. 

It took a few searches to find your blog. Shinazugawa thought he was about to lose his mind, staying up till the wee hours in the morning when he finally found your username (he should remind you about the permanence of an internet footprint). Then he read it: the fanfiction you wrote about him. The lewd, ludicrous thoughts you had about him, barely concealed behind the character’s first name of ‘Shinawa’. He allowed himself to huff a soft laugh. It took everything in Shinazugawa not to blow his cover. He knows you hate him, despite the glorifying posts where you bemoan wanting to bed him in all sorts of positions he had to Google. It was wrong, shameful even, but only if he didn’t like you. Shinazugawa spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed. It felt utterly stupid: a working adult who was overwhelmed with sticky, sweet feelings that made his heart skip a beat. He certainly had arrhythmia, and was not lovesick.

Shinazugawa’s never been great at romance. His rough and tough personality scared off many people in his younger years, where he was prone to flare up at everyone and anyone. It wasn’t really his fault. He wasn’t ever taught how to manage his emotions and still struggles to not turn to anger like some sort of drug. Emotions mean vulnerability, and vulnerability means he’s defenceless, so Shinazugawa keeps his sensitive heart buried under years of repression and ignorance. 

The one girl he confessed to, Kocho Kanae, rejected him gently saying that she wasn’t interested in men at all. He spent a whole month moping, pledging to himself that he’ll never fall in love again. 

Thankfully for the both of you, Shinazugawa has absolutely no clue on how to woo anyone, nor does he want to ruin the professional image both of you have worked so hard to maintain. He keeps his feelings for you under lock and key, hoping that one day, you’ll cave and be the one to confess for both of your sakes. Shinazugawa may be good at most things (settling his year-end taxes, formatting a Word document, and working out regularly), but when it comes to love, he’s a total fucking idiot. 

Shinazugawa finally relents. He turns back to his own bag with a shrug, picking out what he needs to explore the island, mainly sunscreen and his phone for photos and notes.  

“Ready to go?” 

You shoulder your tote and adjust the cap that you’ve pulled over your head. You think you see Shinazugawa’s cheeks turn pink, but you don’t think too much of it. Maybe it’s the heat getting to him. Shinazugawa steps out of the guest house and back into the humid air. 

Fuck, the both of you think. Why did Masachika have to abandon us? 

You hope you manage to survive the trip without Shinazugawa killing you.

Shinazugawa hopes you don’t find out he wants you as someone more than a colleague.

ɞ an | this chapter was a little more serious, but we finally got to see sanemi's pov on things!! what do you think? next 2 chapters will still be on the okinawa trip :3c i'm struggling to write soft!sanemi and not make him ooc, so hopefully it reads ok >< huge shoutout to bound by internetpistols for helping me get through this writing hiccup i've been having... writing is hard...

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[do-or-dichotomy]

woke up in the middle of the night as per usual so I’m allowed to write one (1) unhinged post before I wake up For Real. I cannot stop thinking about omega patrick stump. under the cut so no one has to scroll through my rambling unless they want to.

barely having the time to present before getting whisked away into a band. not really knowing how his medication works, forgetting to take his suppressants more often than not because he’s busy. having his first real heat in a van surrounded by the guys he loves and trusts most in the world [whether he should or not], the vanilla bean sweetness from his glands filling up the small space and smothering everyone in the best possible way. faces shoved in his neck whenever they can get away with it, breathing deep until minds go calm. everyone else using him as their personal space heater-slash-weighted blanket-slash-aromatherapy.

scent souring as things take a turn, curdled ice cream leaking from his neck all throughout the year leading up to hiatus marked by barely any moments where his scent didn’t put everyone on edge. putting off waves of sad, upset, angry, hurt that choke the rest of the band. no one wants to be near him when he smells like that, which makes him feel even more alone. absolutely reeking throughout soul punk, though it’s not like the few people who get close enough to him during that time know what he’s supposed to smell like in the first place. coke and crash dieting affecting his heat, his body refusing to give him a true heat when it knows he couldn’t handle what’s supposed to come next. going off his suppressants, hoping it’ll fix it and finding out it won’t. posting pariah with the added bonus of feeling decrepit, knowing that even if he gave up music, he’s not healthy enough in body or mind to be anyone’s mommy.

his scent stays hesitant, weak all throughout the first album back. he’s careful, cautious, still with one foot out the door just in case. but when things somehow manage to go right and it’s clear they’re here to stay, it blooms. he doesn’t clock the difference, but pete does, and he nearly weeps when he wakes up and wonders if someone spilt a bottle of extract. he can’t leave patrick alone, no one can, drunk on his scent and the relief it brings.

he starts eating like a human again, and he gains the weight back. it goes straight to his hips, belly, and thighs, cushioning where his body hopes he’ll need it. with age and experience comes wisdom, but it doesn’t occur to him to restart his suppressants, blindly assuming he’s done for on that front. a show ends, he heads to the shower, and peels off slick-soaked boxers that beg to say different.

his last heat was a blur, fucking himself with a toy that never gave him what he craved, and it prolonged the whole shitfest a full day and a half. they’ve got shows to do, and he doesn’t have that kind of time. but he’s not alone anymore, and all it takes is one muffled moan before he’s got his boys at his door, burying faces and cocks between his thighs, just like old times.

he resented it when he was younger, being the only omega in the group. he hated the questions, the snarky comments, the insinuations [no matter how true they were]. but now, after years of loneliness, he’s got a face in his neck, a cock in his cunt, hands on every inch of his body, and he can’t help but love it. he’s theirs, and they’re his, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[kate04us]

You wanted prompts? A/R: “How would you feel about getting married?”

A little bit of silliness to end this shitfest of a year.

[thatlovinfeelin]

He Don't Like The Lights | Bradley Bradshaw Actor AU|

Waiting tables wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t your favorite job either. Not that you hated it, because you didn’t. For the most part you liked your coworkers, your roommate Celeste being one of them. Your bosses weren’t horrible, and the pay was alright. You were able to pay your bills and stash some extra cash away for savings. Soon, or at least you hoped it would be soon, you would be able to move out of the somewhat shitty place with Celeste and get a better apartment. Maybe even leave Virginia altogether. 

“Hey, I need you to take table five.” 

“But it’s not in my section tonight,” You argue with your manager. 

“Just take it, okay? It's a single and you’re better with singles than Celeste,” He replied, shooing you away with his hands. 

You let out a dramatic sigh, rolling your eyes as you grabbed your waitress book and headed towards the single guy sitting at the table. You never sized up tables before you started serving them, never tried to write people off before they had a chance to show their colors. 

But you could tell that this guy was hot just by the way he was sitting with a baseball cap tugged low. He at least knew how to wear a damned hat unlike some of the guys who came in with it halfway on their heads. 

“Hi, welcome in, can I get you started with anything to drink?” You asked cheerfully as you stopped in front of him. 

The bar was relatively empty, which came as a surprise since it was a weekend and the weather was fairly nice. Maybe everyone was still out at the beach and would be in before dinner ended. Maybe you would get lucky and end up having a good tip night to make up for the shitfest that was last night. 

“Uh, just a Bud on draft if you have it.”

“Bud lite?” You question. 

“No, Buswieser, the real shit,” There’s a hint of a laugh in his voice. 

“I’ve got it in a bottle, is that okay?”

“Yeah that works,” He replies, tipping his head back to look up at you. 

It takes you a second to register who’s actually looking at you. You’ve seen those dark hazel eyes on screen plenty of times, because Cele is obsessed with his movies. However, what really takes you back is how normal he looks in an old beat up t-shirt and shorts. He doesn’t look like the glamourous actor that you’ve seen.

“I’m sorry- are you,” You stop and lick your lips. 

You aren’t nervous, because you aren’t obsessed with him. His movies are okay, and you have to admit he is more attractive in person than he is on screen. But you’ve never been one to fall face first over someone who’s in the industry, not that you’ve ever had the chance to before. 

“Are you Bradley Bradshaw?” The question comes out as a whisper as you lean down, trying to be as quiet as you can. 

He pales for a moment, waiting to see if you’re going to fully freak out on him before smiling sheepishly, “Caught that easily, huh?”

“You’re lucky it’s just me and not the other girl over there,” You inform him, “She’d be on the floor, and I know that because I live with her and share a TV with her. But since it’s just me,” you smile at him before backing away a step, “A bottle of Bud coming right up.”

He smiles and relaxes into his seat before looking back down at his phone on the table. You can’t help but smile as you make your way towards the bar and the POS system to start his ticket. 

Bradley Bradshaw is eating in the bar and no one but you knows. He just happened to be lucky enough that Celeste had the one big table and was therefore too busy to take him, even though it was her section. 

“Thanks for taking that table,” She sounds out of breath as she sets a drink tray down next to you, “I’m swamped with those fuckers over there. Tourists on vacation who want everything at that very moment. Including three Virgin Strawberry Daiquiris for the kids. I want to shoot myself.”

You smile to yourself as you make your way around to the beer cooler to grab a nice cold bottle of Bud, “Oh don’t worry about it. He shouldn’t cause any trouble anyway.”

If only she knew. 

“Here you go,” You say, sitting the open bottle down on his table, “Do you need a minute to look over the menu? Or do you have any questions?”

“What do you recommend?” He asked you, looking back up. 

“Pulled Pork Mac’n’cheese, easy,” You replied almost instantly, “Hands down my favorite dish here, after our Crab Dip appetizer, but I also eat that for a full meal.”

He smiles up at you and closes the menu before handing it back to you, “I’ll try that Pork Mac then.”

“Sounds good, I’ll get that right in!” You smile triumphantly before backing away once again, “Holler if you need anything, okay? I’ll be back to check on you before the food comes out.”

Back at the bar, Celeste is finally able to stop for a minute and catch her breath. She looks miserable and it makes you want to laugh a little. Her night would be very different if she just took Table Five instead. 

She’s hunched over her phone reading an article, which normally you would call her out on being on her phone but tonight you can’t be bothered. It’s slow enough and her phone is hidden anyway. 

“Hey, Bradshaw is up for a bunch of awards,” She grins, “He so deserves them. You remember how great he was in that war movie, right! That’s what’s being nominated.”

“Hmm?” You question before your brain seems to catch up with you, “Oh, yeah. No, he was great in that movie. Whole cast was, honestly.”

“Exactly! I hope they sweep at the Oscars, they all deserve it so much.”

You have to hide your smile as you type away on the POS to put in the order. In the back, you can hear your kitchen jamming out to some sort of heavy metal meets classic rock mix which isn’t all that unusual for them. There are some days you’ve come to work and they’ve been listening to Disney music. At this point you can’t even try to say that you understand what their playlists consist of. 

It takes ten minutes before you’re walking back over to the table with another beer in hand. You noticed he was starting to run low and you know better than to let a drink ever go empty. That was one of the first things you learned when you became a waitress. 

“Brought you another one,” You announce, setting it down. 

“Thanks, appreciate it,” He replies, “And uh, thanks for not freaking out on me. Would’ve been a bitch if I got swarmed in here.”

“No worries, I’m not a rabid fan or anything,” You laugh, “But I am curious as to why you’re here of all places. I thought you lived in LA?”

“I do,” He nods, “But this was home long before LA was. I was born here in Virginia, I like to come back and visit family from time to time.”

“Oh,” You’re taken back by his honesty. He could’ve easily told you that it was none of your business, which is what you expected, “That’s really nice actually.”

Celeste calls you, saying the kitchen wants you. Reluctantly you force yourself away from the table and towards the set of double swinging doors in the middle of the bar. Something about Bradley Bradshaw is drawing you in and you aren’t sure if you want to resist it or not. Surely he wouldn’t remember your name in a few hours. He’d forget about the server from Virginia the second he got on a flight back to LA and the way of the world would take back over. 

“Here’s that pork mac,” Chef told you, nudging the dish in the window, “Get it out of my sight.”

“Sir yes sir,” You reply, grabbing the hot dish, “Thank you!”

“Yeah yeah, fuck off,” He grumbled, which only made you smile. 

You made your way back towards Bradley’s table with a smile. You could see why Celeste was so enamored with him. There was just something about him that made you want to sit down and hang on his every word. Plus, he was hot as hell. He still had the mustache from his previous role, and was trying to hide behind his ball cap. He looked normal, almost.

You wondered how other people here saw him? Were they even paying attention to the bonafide star that was hiding out in the corner? Celeste would piss herself if she knew he was here, hell, you might even piss yourself if he smiled at you again. The thought made you a little weak in the knees. 

“Your pork mac,” You said, sitting it down on the table in front of him, “Be careful, it’s actually pretty hot.”

“Mmm, looks fantastic,” He nearly groaned, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you don’t even know if you’ll like it!” You laughed, “But I hope you enjoy, and let me know if I can get you anything else.”

You hop away from him again, taking a deep breath as you go. Maybe the night wouldn’t be as bad as you thought.

[imstarkjr]

Yep, people playing stupid at why we love Lilia's ep but not the other. Like hmm gee wonder why we react different to an average length ep focusing on the oldest female character that ties into scenes from every previous episode and builds up another female character too, compared to a 50 min backstory for the only man on cast that could've been a few flashbacks, making him the most specialist boy and connecting everything to him, and came directly after the main character's trial being such a shitfest everyone thought it was a fakeout. 🙄

Anon you're absolutely right and I know it's frustrating to constantly be in a position where we have to keep asking for better representation. I hope all of us who were disappointed with these choices and were on the receiving end of so much hate are doing okay 💚

[marunalu]

Hi. Many fans disappointed with new chapter. I see many complaining. I am more pissed because of Bakugo.

I am now sure that in next chapter Izuku will be catched by Ochako or sonehow Shigaraki give Izuku OFA back or his original quirk. Dont know.

How do you think DFO will be revealed then Shigaraki and AFO destroyed? Both spirituality and phisicaly.

Well, its no wonder people are upset after that shitfest of a chapter. That propably was the most anticlimactic final bossfight I have ever seen in a manga and after all the talking how izuku wants to safe tomura, dude just dies and izuku is fine with it. He just failed his attempt to save the person he wanted to save the most, but hey I guess the fistbum makes up for it (it does NOT!) Im actually curious how the japanese fanbase reacted to all of that.

I mean, of course hori had to force bakugou in it for a final time. Hes his golden baby boy afterall. Izuku cant do anything without bakugous or other peoples help. He is not allowed to shine on his own in his own fight against the main villain in HIS story. Nope, bakugou needed to help to give the final blow to afo TWICE, because HE is the true VIP of mha! I have actually seen quite a few bakugou fan who were not happy about it. If even his FANS complain about how forced and unnecessary that part was, maybe hori should ask himself if his staning for that one specific character is not going a little bit to far. I mean, seems like we just were all dumb. At the beginning of the story we were told izuku is a useless loser because he cant do anything without the help of others and in the end it turns out it was true. How could we not see that comming? The mc was not allowed to defeat the main villain himself and needs others, espicially his abuser to help him. Wow, what a great message! And the most depressing point is that hori was clearly trying to make that look like a positiv thing. There is one thing I can say for sure. I will never touch any work from hori ever again.

If this was really the conclusion of the final fight, then congratulation hori, you managed to write a more rushed and horrible conclusion for your story, then tite kubo did with bleach (which to be fair was not kubos fault but shonen jumps). Hori did literally EVERY SINGLE character except bakugou dirty and in the end even startet to write against his own established themes in the story.

Regarding dfo: I already mentioned it a few times in the past. Im still positiv dfo is canon BUT I also said I dont think anymore that dfo will end in a satisfying way. Which actually goes against what hori said, that readers wont feel dissapointed when he reveals hisashis true identity. But, right now I dont see how hori plans to manage that even with a twist. Even if lets say the clone theory ends up true (which would be hilarious because I was JOKING when I came up with it), it still would feel like so much wasted potential. And the thing is, while it would make me happy if it turns out true I would still be mad about all the rest hori fucked up which would make it impossible for me to enjoy the dfo reveal. And as much as I love dfo, if it turns out the afo clone theory is true and hisashi is the real afo who gets a happy ending while tomura stays dead and doesnt get one after everything afo did to him and the rest of the lov stay miserable too, I will still give hori the middlefinger. The only way I would be able to enjoy it is if hisashi ends up as the afo clone who choose a different path then his original body. It would still make dfo canon just in a unexpected way and it could be interesting to see in hisashi that afo COULD have been happy if he had choose a similar way.

I dont know, maybe in the end there is really some kind of twist involved. Shonen jump still hasnt announced that mha will end in the next few chapters and normally they do that at least 5-10 chapters before the final chapter. Maybe we are just panicking over nothing and hori has everything planned out perfectly. Maybe there is more to come. We really cant say for sure. There are still some plots who need answers and I cant see how hori wants to conclude everything in just 2 more chapters. On the other side this final arc was horrible rushed, even more horrible written and all in all a big dissapointment and waste of a lot of peoples time.

Who knows maybe thats why there is a break next week. So hori can wait for the reactions of the readers and include whatever twist he may think could work.

[la-pheacienne]

Somebody should tell team green moral crusaders that the reason we do not like the scene of Daemon licking his mummy's pussy is not because it's so unFoRGiVAbLe compared to "normal" targcest (lol). It is because it is gratuitous sexposition and pretty cringe. And I am actually able to recognize this as gratuitous sexposition and pretty cringe because I, unlike y'all, watch a TV show with the intention of following a good, entertaining story and relating to the characters on screen. I, unlike y'all, do not watch a TV show with the sole intention of engaging in mental masturbation over the bAd bAd targs. That's not my end goal. That is precisely why I am able to genuinely enjoy many scenes with Otto, Aegon and Criston, (three disgusting, hateful bigots that belong to a "team" I hate), and I enjoy their scenes and their characters because I actually like how the show humanized them and made them relatable even. I understand Otto's disillusionment and anger looking at the chaos caused by his grandson and Criston, I even find it entertaining, I relate to that even if I hate the character. The character makes sense, his scenes are filled with meaning. That is good TV. Aegon's arc is also satisfying, he's an antagonist I can relate to, even if he's a rapist. He feels real to me, I feel something for the character, organically, when I watch his scenes. Good TV. Even Criston is almost funny in his stereotypical bootlicking bigotry and in some scenes I genuinely enjoy watching him because I feel that I understand him. I do not excuse him, I hate him, but I understand him. I know guys like him. The character makes sense, he has a truth in him. Good TV.

Daemon licking his mama's pussy in a dream is not good TV. The scene is there to force a certain subversive interpretation/deconstruction on the viewer via shock but since it is absolutely devoid of substance, it comes off, again, as yet another example of objectification of female sexuality, yet another example of classic GoT sexposition. The reason that this scene has no substance is that we already know that Targs fuck each other. We already know they are an incestuous family. We already know this is a problematic dynamic. The main plot points are enough to showcase this. With that in mind, having one of the core characters of your show, (possibly the book fandom's fave before the show shitfest, and one of the writer's fave characters), lick his mother's pussy as a means of character development does not add anything at all to 1) the narrative if anybody still gives a fuck about it, 2) Daemon's characterization, 3) the themes of the story. Quite the contrary, and even in the hypothesis that Daemon is a pure unambigous villain (and not a "grey" character as grrm calls him lol), even with this assumption, the antagonist becomes cartoonish and the audience feels completely disconnected to him. Which is great if your objective is 1) to get off on incest porn via a hot blonde chick on screen and/or 2) to validate your hate boner for a fictional House whose members are the protagonists of a book and TV series you keep reading and watching while hating the protagonists. It is not great, however, if your objective is to watch a good story with antagonists that have something to say and that feel real and truthful and meaningful.

This antagonist in particular feels ridiculous as if he came straight out of a bad fanfic. And you like that shit. I'm glad to know that the bar is so ridiculously low that you are willing to praise even the cheapest, most typical example of gratuitous titillation aimed at the average GoT fan reddit dudebro, just to prove a point. You actually stoop so low, it is mesmerizing.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S07E02

Got a bit too long.

There is no way those guys manage to balance episodes better when they have a multitude of issues to deal with than when they have none. Are you kidding me?

Rear Window/Home Alone episode? What crazy genius thought of that? Where was that crazy genius in all the other seasons? I’m starting to think that these writers perform better under the immense stress of having to come up with logical plot lines for explaining character absences.

Before I forget. Dear promo department, just because the episode starts with the end scene (almost end scene) doesn’t mean you get to put that scene on the promo. 

Oh, by the way, did we ever do that? Start with a major scene and go backwards? I love that I just did a rewatch, by the way.

Charlie and Sarah moved in together (and she’s already deciding what to keep for the household, watch out, Charlie), and they just… moved in. No explanation. I guess the house was on offer? Too good of an offer to pass up, so they were like, what the hell. Can this even be aired on Up Faith and Family?

Charlie working the electronics in the new house. Lord help us. The "it's very tough to hear because you're barking" to Rex was funny.

Rex was "like that" with the old house? No, he wasn't. You're lying. Also, he's been trying to find a place to sleep because THERE ARE BOXES EVERYWHERE.

We have a great word for when a house is not yet finished and still looks like a constructions site and there is no English equivalent! Ugh.

Sarah has already started throwing away Charlie's stuff!

Lochlyn Munro was on White Chicks with John Reardon. I haven't watched that movie in some time but I still have the feeling I wanted to punch both their characters there lol

"I don't think she's coming back after that cruise". Well, you definitely jinxed her, Sarah.

I love Rex at home montages so much. And the music.

After more than 100 episodes, we finally see a cat. I wasn’t sure they existed in this universe. Also, Rex's cat plushie is 100% new.

Guns? You guys were shipping guns? What are you, Americans?

I like the throwbacks already. Even though I despise those two characters. Now I'm actually glad that I did the rewatch because while I'd remember Porter, I would definitely not remember ginger cop.

What do you mean the SJPD assigns the password purely based on someone’s name and birthday? Without any random numbers or characters??? I’m sorry but then the shitfest that inevitably followed is on the IT department. Everyone knows that most people, cops or not, will not bother to change their password. That’s why the password assigned must be RANDOM. Jesse, I’m blaming you. You’re the only IT guy in there I know.

Porter. You trusted Porter. Joe, I don’t know what to say, honestly.

Speaking of, what the actual hell do you mean IA found no further misconduct in Porter’s other cases? That’s impossible. Just this month while on my rewatch, I was writing that there is no way they won’t find anything, not with the way he handles cases. Did they even look?

“I look forward to meeting the real Rex”. Ohoho, buddy…

I like how affectionate Sarah is with Rex. 

Sarah to Rex: "Charlie understands your signals better than I do." Charlie: *attributes Rex’s barking to him smelling fertilizer, which if I recall has never happened, and almost washes away the blood off the murder weapon by accident, because he’s well versed in Rex speak* (I’m not mad. It was funny. Although I definitely called him an idiot there. Welcome back, himbo!Charlie.)

Hey, we got Charlie on his bike! On the seventh season.

I wrote a lot of things on my rewatch, most I’ve already forgotten. One thing I remember writing, was that if there are two cases that start as separate, they will magically connect at some point in the episode in almost every crime show. I feel like this show lives to prove me wrong.

Pet peeve. Jesse has his finger on the trigger the entire time during the arrest scene. It is 2025. Why did they bother to teach Justin Kelly the proper stance and didn’t bother to tell him that the index goes on the side of the frame of the firearm when they have to shove a camera on his face and arm. I'm not mad at the actor, by the way, it's not his job to know, that's technical stuff. What’s weird is that I’ve seen 100+ episodes of Hudson and Rex (102 now) and I think John Reardon has never done this? And I think that because I’d have reacted like that. In fact, I remember pointing out that he did hold it properly numerous times. So, silly me, I thought they had someone to tell them about stuff like that, at least for the main characters.

They remembered police vests! I might shed a tear.

You cannot set up a Home Alone scene and put dramatic music. Or, I guess you can, but I will still laugh. It was funny. I know that realistically, you can’t put on something like a Benny Hill music there because the entire scene will eventually lead to finding the body, but that part will be funny no matter what.

Did anyone think that something was going to happen to Charlie’s bike while on the stint? Because I did.

I’m glad that Rex turned out to be goading Arnold when he was holding the meat tenderizer and that he had already set up traps in the house because in the promo it seemed like an idiotic move. Yes, he’s a dog, but he’s a superdog and I’m used to him being smart.

The sheer amount of plush toys that Rex has... Oh. My. God. I think they moved to have more space for his plush toys, actually.

Charlie: *accusatorily* "Why is there blood on your tenderizer?" Oh my god, don’t pull out your handcuffs yet, Detective!

Thank god Rex thought to throw the paint on Arnold because it would take Charlie and Sarah another episode to figure it out, with the way they were going.

"She was gonna leave me". And... what? Now you ruined both your lives. Good job, shithead.

They're worried about the impression they made on their new neighbors? What about their old neighbors who turned up as murderer and victim?

Since when are Charlie and Sarah such proud Newfies to have a Newfoundland flag up?

Easter egg: Felipe Rodriguez's name is on the "For Sale" sign.

Yes, John Reardon’s reduced screentime is noticeable. And I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I missed Charlie and Rex’s partnership in this episode, especially following a Charlie/Rex focused season. But it is what it is. It’s also good to recognize it and to be a bit more appreciative of what he has offered in all these years to the show. On the other hand, we get to see more of Sarah, Joe, and Jesse. I know not everyone is tuning in for that, yes, the show is called Hudson and Rex. Well, tough. And I'd find it difficult for anyone to try to criticize how this season's episodes are structured without sounding like an asshole, for many reasons.

Promo: Per IMDb, there's an episode that doesn't credit John Reardon at all. I don't really see Charlie in this promo so it might be that one (although that's supposed to be the bees episode and I also don't see bees, there's only mention of oyster farms). And I'm not sure I even see Diesel in this promo, although I see Rex. Ah, the sadness of not being 10 years old anymore. They can't change dogs without me noticing.

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

the long awaited alcoholism in hamlet post! with special thanks to the undertale ball game for pissing me off so badly i needed to make this to take my mind off it.

anyway before we begin disclaimer and tw there will be discussions of alcohol, substance abuse, suicidal notions and all that good stuff that comes with discussing hamlet. onto the post

The basic idea of this take is just that Hamlet copes with the death of his father by developing a nasty drinking habit, that while he’s able to mostly overcome before the actual events of the play, we still see the tail end of and how it’s affected the other characters. The only actual specific staging this would require would be for Hamlet to drink a little excessively in one scene, and the rest is implication. It’s also an exploration of the tragedy of Hamlet’s mental health in a time where, any scholar of the play will mention, they didn’t really have a lot of knowledge about all that stuff.

As the play clearly demonstrates, Hamlet is a real big overthinker. He’s the kind of guy whose thoughts run a million miles an hour, and so in the wake of a terrible tragedy such as his father’s death, being a young man in a castle with easy access to excessive amounts of alcohol, he could easily turn to its depressant properties to numb the barb and take the edge off his usually sharp mind. And given the extent we see he’s grieving, it wouldn’t be implausible for this to quickly become a dependency.

The people in his life who care about him would be very concerned about this, especially his mother and Ophelia I’d imagine. Alcohol is something they understand, and they know the dangers of overconsumption, and given its role as a depressant it would be incredibly sad for them to watch their beloved prince lose himself, his quick thinking, his sharp wit, his charisma and charm, all those brilliantly brainy characteristics, to the numbing tendencies of the bottle. They’d be watching the person they knew and loved deteriorate before their eyes, shortly after the death of his father.

Hamlet’s not an idiot when it comes to the dangers of drinking, he knows it’s terrible for him, but at the same time there are days where he’s hoping the poison in his cup were one that worked a little bit faster. Eventually though, he decides to stop for one reason or another, although it’s likely that Claudius’s own excessive drinking habits from his partying (with none of the caution that even Hamlet exerts) disgust him enough to wean him off the taste a little bit. As we approach the events of the play, he’s managed to get his drinking mostly under control, and his loved ones couldn’t be more relieved. For a moment there, they were worried they’d have to watch the man they loved spiral into something nigh unrecognisable.

Come the events of the play, and when Hamlet is introduced in Act 1 Scene 2, he’s just a little bit tipsy. Not massively so, but just enough to get him through another session of court. His mother and uncle feel comfortable enough to tell him to his face to stop grieving (because he’s stopped drinking, which means the grief must be lessening, right? that’s how it works?), and Hamlet takes to it exactly as badly as he does in the play. After everyone leaves, Hamlet finds a glass of something somewhere and downs it (because tipsy wasn’t enough to handle that shitfest) and starts emotionally and vaguely drunkenly monologuing about how he wishes he could kill himself and all that.

Horatio shows up, and Hamlet is thrilled to see him, and despite the fact that the feeling is mutual, Horatio has been warned about his friend’s habits and is a little put off to see the state Hamlet’s in- especially when Hamlet jokes about that he’ll ’teach you to drink ‘ere you depart’, to which Horatio is visibly disappointed. Hamlet picks up on this and is a little ashamed by being caught this way, and so when he shows up next in Act 1 Scene 4 he is fully sober; and even throws in a comment or two about how much he dislikes the king’s traditions of excess drinking and partying. Just so Horatio knows he’s not actually a fan of it, and all.

After Hamlet sees the ghost of his father and is spurred to his revenge, there’s no reason for him to drink anymore- how can he, when he needs his mind clear to enact such a plan and why should he, when he’s just unlocked the one coping mechanism that’s possibly worse?

Over the next two months, the castle is happy to see that Hamlet seems to be cured of his ailment- in terms of drinking at least. He’s gone a little loopy, but maybe that’s just a phase while he gets over the dependency and if it is, then it’s surely preferable and a good thing, right?

But as we all know, it only gets worse from there.

Ophelia is the first to have it hit home. Hamlet’s maddening behaviour is both confusing and hurtful, and by the events of Act 3 Scene 3, she doesn’t know how to feel anymore. She saw Hamlet through the worst of his addiction, she watched as he spiraled into confusion and a slurred slowness, and she thought that it was the worst thing that could happen to him. When he stopped, she was so happy, because she thought he’d come back to her- but now it seems like in its place has left something worse. Hamlet is back to his quick wit and sharp tongue, but now those once charming traits that she was so in love with have been turned against her wholly, being used to embarrass her and demean her publicly by a man with the face and eyes of the one she loved but with a cruelty so new and painful that it makes her sick. And the worst part is, before she could put a finger on the problem. She knew it was the fault of alcohol, and she knew it wasn’t him, and she knew it could go away.

But this? She doesn’t know what this is. She’s watching the love of her life unravel into an entirely different person and she has no idea what’s causing it. When Hamlet was drunk, at least beneath the exterior she could still tell he was in there, and his heart and love for her were there too. But this? It’s like a genie took her wish to have what Hamlet had lost of himself restored and twisted it so that it was all he had now. The exterior is back, but she doesn’t know that he loves her anymore. And she’s confused, and frightened, and sad. (She doesn’t yet know that she sat next to the man who would kill her father, but if she had known, she might have gone mad with the knowledge.)

Gertrude is the second to have it sink in. Hamlet’s drinking broke her heart, and when she found out that he’d stopped she’d been so relieved.

And now there’s a dead man on the floor, and her son is proclaiming that he’s seeing ghosts, and the worst part about it all is that he’s completely sober.

There’s something very wrong with her only child, and it terrifies her that she doesn’t know what it is beyond madness. And madness has no cure, not like drinking does, and she would never wish her son drunk again but at least when he was drunk he was predictable. At least he was drunk he’d never murdered anyone. And Gertrude once considered watching her son lose himself before her very eyes to be among her greatest fears, but now sitting upon her bed in a trance, she’s struck by the sudden and horrifying thought that she didn’t even see it. That he’s already changed beyond repair and she was far too late to do anything about it. He’s being dragged away now, rambling on about England, and Gertrude can’t think, but there’s a cup of wine on her dresser.

This take gives a whole new meaning to Claudius’s insistence on the poisoned wine in Act 5 Scene 2 as well, and Hamlet’s continued refusal. Even if the wine wasn’t poisoned, the underlying statement Claudius is making by offering it to a recovering addict is clear, and sort of horrifying in itself, given at that point, no one else in the court seems to care enough to even say anything. Hamlet refuses without a fuss because it’s honestly the thing about Claudius he hates the least, and Gertrude takes it instead because she’s been slipping a little herself, and if she’d known it was poisoned, it would probably frighten her how little she cared.

Anyway this is just based around my thoughts on the inherent tragedy of Hamlet suffering from mental illness with no support system and no real societal understanding of how those things worked by juxtaposing it with something that they did know about in order to make it even sadder.

please let me know your thoughts as well I love hearing anything and everything about this play