#the severe/extreme level is from personal experience btw ;-;

[bazkrekkerbrokemyshin]

Foster!Kaz's reactions to varying levels of pain because I can't stop thinking about him :')

---

Minor

No reaction. Due to his life experiences, he has a very high pain tolerance. Probably wouldn't even notice like a paper cut or scratch unless he sees blood or something lmao.

---

Moderate

Usually no external reaction. He's learned not to show weakness to anyone, so even if it really hurts, he'll keep it inside. Maybe a grimace or a gasp will slip out, but that's about it. Walking without his cane would be categorized here.

---

Severe/Extreme

Will try to push through, but eventually breathing becomes ragged and painful, his vision begins to fade, and he could vomit. Might black out for a second if he doesn't sit down. While reactions like shouting and crying can be contained, even he can't stop his body from shutting down.

---

masterlist

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

poke hornet nest

my stance on ABA

(my stance on ABA)

as someone with (some) lived experience

most of it is shit.

for long time in past and even now, ABA only service available for a lot autistic people & family.

most of it (< ABA*) still is shit. (*this disclaimer applies to rest of repetition)

heard of more than enough cases of. insurance/school system/etc give pathetic number of hours/sessions for speech, OT, etc for autism but many more hours of ABA. or only cover ABA.

most of it still shit.

some speech & OT & other so called “alternatives to ABA” use behavioral & ABA tactics.

most of it still shit.

for many family, especially those with autistic person diagnosed as “severe” or level 3 and or have extreme behavioral issues etc. their option isn’t “ABA or no ABA.” often, option is “ABA or be labeled as abusive neglectful by government” or “ABA or have child taken away” “you ‘willingly’ enroll in ABA or we take and put them in ABA anyway” or “ABA or lose job.”

most of it still shit.

“ABA or lose job” because school not able or not willing help (because autistic person’s needs “that much”), you keep getting called to pick them up from school, from day care. other people not know how “deal with” your autistic family member, you know how help them a little more but also you sure as hell don’t and are just as lost. so you keep miss work to go pick them up from places that kick them out and you exhausted and you not get sleep because autistic family member needs pretty constant supervision and you not have respite and you not know how help and eventually your job fires you because you keep miss work. and oh did ever mention caring for disabled person extremely expensive? but oh btw there ABA agency you can send autistic family member to for up to 40 hour/week so maybe you can keep job and thus keep roof over head and can still put food on table for family for your autistic family member. oh they also say they may able help with autistic family member behavior so maybe they don’t get kicked out of every necessary service.

most of it still shit.

ABA agencies frequently kick out people deemed too severe or “cannot be helped” or too violent or too many behavioral issues or cause too much harm.

most of it still shit.

in world where may & very often do kill you for seeing you as different thus “threat,” ability mask life saving survival tactic. am talking about POC. am specifically especially talking about Black people. is teaching how mask greater evil than dead killed hatecrimed? sure, no one should have to choose between these two options, but world not care about your morals n your “should”s n your envisioned better future you may or may not be actively help build right now, these people need survive in real world here and now.

most of it still shit.

there (some. a few.) ABA survivors who went thru ABA in past and now who think ABA helped. helped them gain skill. help them prevent harm. some of them don’t see self as abused in ABA or traumatized by ABA. some see it as both abused and helped and grateful for help and hate abuse. some see as both abused and helped and don’t see amount of helped as ever worth abuse.

most of it still shit. (so many were & are abused. n abuse is abuse)

many newer ABA agencies realize ABA heavily criticized n labeled abusive & say they change methods & no longer practice old school ABA & now no longer abusive.

most of it still shit. (many of these agencies still do coercive abusive stuff even if call themselves changed)

some of them maybe truly changed. getting rid of abusive practices, focusing on skill building & adaptive functioning, child-led, instead of drills and forced masking.

most of it still shit.

talk a lot with people who so adamant about “all ABA abuse” “all parents who put child into ABA abused deserve get child taken away” who never was in personal proximity of ABA who. when ask to describe what ABA is in own words, not able to. or give generic response like “abuse & force mask”, but when ask to describe specific methods they do that, not able to. when ask them what discrete trial training and prompting is and what goals may look like and how they write behavioral analysis, never heard of any of them. say listen to ABA survivors, but not able name any individual names. just “oh listen to them online, if you actually listen like me you would know & i wouldn’t need say more so it really your ignorance.” but more often, just get reactionary shut down whole conversation be seen as ableist threat if even be asked first question. how you help advocate for ABA survivors if don’t even know what ABA is? or who ABA survivors? if cannot even talk about ABA? how even fight against your enemy if don’t even know what enemy look like, not able pick out enemy from crowd unless spoon fed?

most of it still shit.

found that. when am talking about ABA. from add nuance to encourage thought provoking questions to even rhetorically ask people to describe ABA. have to repeat emphasize that am not saying ABA all not abusive. even if it first thing i lead with. even if it super clear that am indeed criticizing ABA, just with more grey area and nuances than people used to. lot people will block me from this post just within some paragraphs. lot will block me over saying “most of it still shit” instead of denounce all ABA, when it clear that use of word “most” is deliberate choice n reason of said choice is in every corner of this post. others will finish reading (if even that) and all get out of is repeating “most of it still shit.” made similar posts year(s) ago. and still, find people vague post or explicitly post about me or my post, paint me as evil ABA apologist. whenever come across people who talk about “post where talk about ABA good,” stop and wonder, are they talking about me?

don’t want to talk about ABA because of this. tired, not worth it, often is bad starting point is turn off for people who never seen my posts when have other posts much easier entry point, n start off at bad start may cause them to not listen to me and maybe even other higher support needs and or nonverbal nonspeaking autistics in foreseeable future or ever.

you know, this post started off as “… so you all know i don’t think kindly of ABA right”

throughout write this post, don’t know which part am emphasizing more. the “most of it still shit” part or parts in between.

still. most of it still shit.

[sprout-senior]

my personal headcanon for how monsters procreate in utmv/utdr: the babies just appear.

enough magic and intent from minimum two monsters will make a baby, it doesn’t matter what kind of intent etc(thinking of how PJ happened as a result of a battle between an alternate ink and error)

so there’s no incubation period. due to this, babies are that much more reliant on their parents for the first couple years of their life. basically proximity to their parents is vital to their physical and magical development; they CAN survive with only one parent’s presence, but it causes problems(i am yet again bringing up PJ and how they were raised primarily by ink for the first few years, don’t have a super solid physical form, and aren’t very powerful despite having two gods for parents. obviously my personal reasoning for this is not canon btw)

this period of necessary proximity to their parents does not HAVE to be the original monsters responsible for their creation. they can develop just fine with “surrogate” parents, given the magic bonds successfully. they CANNOT survive without consistent parents, for lack of better phrasing. if left alone or passed between caretakers too much over a long enough period of time, the baby will Fall Down and subsequently dust. fucked up i know but it’s my worldbuilding headcanon and i get to pick the rules

babies can bond with more than two parents! there isn’t a known maximum amount of parents, since no one has really tried to push the limits, but with several parents the baby will paradoxically take longer to develop their specific type of magic(their physical development is not stunted, but their personal magic takes longer because their soul has to “pick” between several different types of magic to base itself on)

once they’re around two, the baby’s magic type is “locked in”, so to speak. if there are several parents, it can take as long as three or four years in comparison. their power level is influenced by their parents, but not entirely dependent on them. some kids just have more of an affinity for magic, for no discernible reason.

part of what i really like about this headcanon is that gender and species are not factors in making a stable child! incest is still weird tho, i am not a fan of incest in any capacity. also, this means no monster has to deal with the absolute nightmare that is pregnancy. no morning sickness, extreme pain, risk of life, etc is involved. lucky bastards (obligatory “disclaimer this is not to discount the experience of anyone who has had good experiences with pregnancy and have things they really like about it. just bc i can’t personally empathize doesn’t mean i can’t understand that y’all’s experiences are vastly different than mine and you have a perspective informed by things i’ll never have the same level of knowledge and understanding of”)

uhhh that’s the main stuff, i think. literally the entire reason i came up with this idea is because i am just. deeply uncomfortable with mpreg and skelepreg. i don’t have any problem with people who DO like it, i just personally can’t deal. this will not affect my opinion of anybody, i need to make that abundantly clear.

in any case, any utmv/utdr monsters i make will have been born and developed this way. yes this applies to female mammal monsters, it applies to ALL monsters in my personal headcanon. maybe i don’t need to clarify that but whatever

if you like this idea, you’re more than welcome to adopt it! i think it’s an interesting piece of lore to incorporate in stories. i might even apply this to magic centered original works, unrelated to utmv/utdr, because i have become attached. i might not end up pursuing original stories, that’s not really what i’m interested in at this point in time, but i’ll always keep the option open.

if someone else has come up with an idea similar to this, that’s awesome! i promise i did not intentionally steal anyone’s idea, i am not currently aware of anything like it, so please extend some courtesy and understanding for me in the event that there’s a coincidence. i would request the same for if someone comes up with something similar AFTER this is posted, especially since i’m such a small creator without a whole lot of reach.

finally, if i’ve accidentally done something problematic here PLEASE tell me so i can fix it! i never want to cause harm with my work :)

if you’ve read this far, thanks! id love to hear your opinions and/or additions if you’ve got any!

[cthonic-bunny]

Hiii so one of your composite chart post is about Pisces mars, in this case how about a composite chart with Pisces stellium in it? Btw loveee your content so far its rare to see composite related posts in astrological subject

Thank you!!! I truly appreciate your words. :’)

I once had a Pisces stellium in the composite with someone, and this was HANDS DOWN the biggest crush I have ever had on anyone, EVER. This was my dream man in every shape or form. 😭

I think you two will have several synchronicities in your lives, like to the point it is inexplicable and makes you feel crazy!!! 😭

So to me, I’d like to think that it feels almost written from a dream that you came across them. I think that sometimes life circumstances might keep you apart until you are ready to submerge yourself into a dream fairytale because I imagine the risk of codependency might be significant. Maybe you really idealize one another in ways that are not grounded in reality. One of you can have dreams randomly about the other, but not as often as you’d like given how much you think about them. You can’t believe this person is real. They can seem extremely unobtainable. Intense eye contact, even at the first meeting! Even when no moves are being made, it feels like you are silently courting one another. Being extremely shy around one another at first, where both of you are stuttering and finding it hard to talk without fumbling over the words you did manage to get out. I feel like once you’re together it would feel like you’re floating through life together on a cloud. You’ll probably like to spend lots of time together in bed. I think you guys would love to deep dive into each other’s mind to see through one another’s eyes. You’ll probably feel like no one can know you or see you like this person can. Getting lost when looking into this mirror. This love can probably feel like a psychedelic experience. Even if you two have extremely different or even opposite opinions or perspectives, you’ll try to understand in the deepest ways where the other one is coming from. You’d probably want to heal one another. I’d probably be careful with getting carried away with substance abuse if that’s something relevant in the connection. The other person can feel like a drug. You’ll probably see one another as an enigma you can’t fully understand until the bond solidifies. You can see no wrong in one another and can’t imagine anyone else not seeing them as angelic as you perceive them to be. I do think it makes you two extremely soft and gentle with one another, or at least more soft spoken and polite in one another’s presence. If they’re usually considered to be bad tempered or rude, they might surprise others with how nice they are to you for seemingly no reason and right off the bat. Communication through eye contact. The idea of taking the connection to the next level requires the inclination to jump into the abyss. I feel like physical touch here might be the prevalent love language in this union, because it’s almost a reminder that that person is in fact real. The partner of your dreams, the one who haunts you! If you didn’t believe in soul mates, a Pisces stellium in the composite chart can really make you consider it. You can find it easier than ever to construct detailed daydreams about them all day and use it as an escape. Sometimes you feel like you can’t leave your daydreams of them if you’re not with them. This is for real the type of crush that will make you feel delusional. I’d probably also try your hardest to refrain from losing yourselves in one another. This is the person that if circumstances permitted and the opportunity presented itself, you would throw everything in your life out and runaway with them. “Ruin my life!” or “let’s live in a dream together.” I think you guys seem like you wouldn’t be each other’s type, but end up making a perfect match and it just makes sense to everyone else only after it materializes. Example: the serious preppy boy that comes from old money with an alternative-looking, esoteric, free-spirited girl. Like oh, they look like a trope they should write a book or make a movie about!

If you’ve experienced a composite Pisces stellium with your luvrrrrr, please share! I’d love to hear!

[vesemirsexual]

Just thinking about how much the “ witcher gamer” community would HATE Ciri if there was a game with a book accurate version of her, she’s queer, shes fierce, wild and arrogant but becomes ruthless and a murder gremlin due to all her trauma, shes not traditionally attractive, has a huge disfiguring scar on her face

And she is the main character, even if she’s not the player character the entire narrative revolves around her

Oh yeah, it’s a thing on Reddit/FB groups where people often ask if Ciri is “sociopathic”/“psychopathic” or surprised that they find her very unlikable after reading the books, which is always kind of funny to me.

Throughout the series there’s a definite theme of girls/young women who experience a severe trauma and then fall into a hateful cycle, and only sometimes having a redemptive moment of realisation that they’re perpetuating the same cycle that enacted violence of them. I also think that this sometimes makes people extremely uncomfortable, because they really do fall far while in this cycle - Falka!Ciri is vicious and filled with hate and enraged. She’s traumatised, lost her childhood and has become a product of the awful things happening to and around her.

Even past that point in her story, people tend to give feedback that she’s bratty or overconfident or annoying and honestly. The entire series is from the ages of about 8-17 (I may be off by a few years here btw!!) for Ciri. Her entire formative years are marked by horrible and traumatising events. I think a lot of people fall into the idea of “good victims” - people who go through trauma and come out kind and sweet and helpful and that their experiences made them ultimately a better person. Which realistically…is not the case for most people.

I’ve also seen Reddit argue a lot that Ciri isn’t actually a bisexual/queer woman, based on the fact that her relationship with Mistle is abusive and often reads like Stockholm Syndrome. I don’t think Sapkowski has ever officially labelled her sexuality and has left it open to interpretation. For me, this feeds back into the points earlier: Ciri is heavily traumatised and she’s also extremely young when all of this is happening, so I can somewhat agree that a definitive read on her sexuality could be hard. However, despite the fact their relationship is extremely fucked up, Ciri does clearly develop feelings for Mistle, and actively mourns her as a lover and partner. Regardless of the start of that relationship, I think it’s naive to say that Ciri didn’t have very real feelings for her?

Also yeah, I can’t ever see Ciri being what is considered “traditionally” attractive. The scar across her face repeatedly is linked to being a giant ugly symbol of the loss of her innocence and childhood, and considering the timeline of care it receives, I don’t ever see it being a small thing even as she gets older. She also spends again, a considerable amount of her youth on the run, under extreme stress and in undesirable conditions, which isn’t exactly conducive to what most people consider attractiveness. Additionally, considering how she’s reduced repeatedly to a sexual object and objectified, I really can’t see Ciri running around with her chest out as per games.

Ciri is honestly such a fascinating and complex character and I do think it’s sad that you can’t really get all of that from the games due to the perspective + difficulties in portraying that through the given platform. I do always hope that more people read the books for Ciri alone, because I’m always excited for content that fleshes her out with that level of development ❤️

[tumblingclockwork]

BESTIE can you tell me more about your lovely lady Jo I like her a lot....

IM SOOOOOO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED so she’s like technically an SCP OC tho we’re not suuuper connected to that universe it’s more of a vessel to tell our story but she’s this middle aged lesbian who is PAST her prime. She never had a prime. This is a cringe woman. She’s like on the millennial gen x cusp and it’s like painfully obvious. She is not a cool woman. She hasn’t even really talked to a girl other than her sister since high school. She’s got no friends. She works a minimum wage job and then goes home to her little house she took from her elderly mom after her mom got moved to 24/7 care (Jo doesn’t visit her btw)

And then one day she wakes up with a ton of weird symptoms. They persist for weeks. She goes to a doctor. They have her take a pregnancy test even though she tries to explain to them she can’t Possibly be pregnant. It comes back positive. She takes several more. She is super pregnant. She panics. She assumes the worst. She cannot fathom how this could have happened. More tests are done. She gets an ultrasound done. There’s no baby. Every pregnancy test comes back positive. She experiences every symptom of pregnancy. Her body is reacting as if there is a baby. But there’s just no baby. Her womb is empty.

For a really long time she tries to find an answer. Doctors don’t take her seriously. They assume she has an extreme case of Pseudocyesis. They blame it on her parental problems. She sees therapists. Nothing helps, and she continues to appear more and more pregnant until her body stops at around the 7th month mark.

Eventually she gives up and for Four Years she exists in a body that is 7 months pregnant until eventually her case gets brought to a doctor who has ties to the SCP foundation and they immediately clock her as something anomalous. The foundation gets involved.

The SCP foundation sends in Agent Ainsley ( @ericka-the-worm ‘s character, If you were wondering) to pick her up. He’s a high level agent in the foundation. He’s well trusted to do an easy job like this. Except Ainsely has just come back from forced leave after his spouse, another agent at the foundation, was killed by an SCP. He’s freshly traumatized and his grief has made him angry. The sound of a lamp crashing on the ground when he breaks into her home sends him into a full on PTSD induced panic attack which he believes was not just a sign that he wasn’t ready to come back to work, but instead a mental attack from Jo, who he believes is a far more dangerous SCP than she’s letting on and able to manipulate his mind.

The foundation believes Ainsley and puts Jo in maximum containment. She’s left unattended for days. The isolation drives her crazy. She has been abducted from her home with no explanation and now sits in a silent white room every second of the day. She tries her best to stay sane but it’s near impossible. She deals with constant hallucinations and delusions. That’s when a scientist is assigned to her case. Doctor Zephyr Salem ( @kennydennys )

Dr Salem is driven by only one thing: knowledge. They learn very quickly that Ainsley’s report of Jo wasn’t accurate. And they are very easily attached to Jo for how interesting she is, both as an SCP, and as a human woman who has been driven out of her mind.

Jo IMMEDIATELY attaches to Salem as the only person who she’s in contact with. Finally being able to talk to another person and have a connection to the outside world, she relies on them, and believes them completely when they say they want to help her with her condition and eventually free her from containment.

Jo feels that she’s already been saved by Salem, because she finally has someone to talk to after being in isolation for so long. But the SCP foundation is Salem’s place of work, and Salem has to clock out eventually. They can’t stay with her all the time, and she still spends most of her time completely alone. She continues to get worse. Salem tells Jo that things won’t be like this forever, and she’ll get to leave some day. But in reality Salem has no real intention of ever letting their most interesting case yet leave them.

[ms-hells-bells]

idk why the dog discourse is back again, but as someone that both lives in a country with high levels of pitbull/staffie ownership and interacts daily with dog owners and dog issues in my volunteer work, they aren't just randomly violent for no reason with good guardians who are shocked that it happened. the way people treat pitties here is fucking horrible, because they have the rep/stereotype of guard dogs or attack dogs, people who are lower class, close to or in gangs, use drugs, or are just hypermasculine get those male dogs, DON'T DESEX THEM (so, more aggression), don't properly train them, but scream at and beat them, because they think that's what will 'toughen' a pittie up and make them attack dogs. 99% of the time it does not, they just become miserable recluses, super withdrawn and fearful (most dog attacks are NOT out of anger or territory based aggression, they're fear aggression, when the dog feels extremely scared, and doesn't see a way out, and the human (often a child) ignores the warnings, like growling, showing teeth, certain poses, etc. another one is food/possession aggression, where their trauma and lack of proper training means that they cannot cope with people in their space and taking their things. you'll see bites at children who grab food from their dog bowls).

but they still love their owners, i have lost count of the amount of times, literally more than the fingers on my hands, i have seen men scream at, kick, punch, etc. their intact male pitbulls (not legal in nz unless a licenced breeder btw, but still a widespread issue), and the dogs still get excited and wag their tails, and want to play whenever the man comes back from work or whatever, they still seek touch and affection. it's just horrible, i have aided in someone else....disappearing a dog to a better life not exactly legally, that was treated like this because the spca wouldn't do shit, unless there's a dead or gravely injured animal, and people physically saw the owner/s do it, they don't care. those dogs have so often been abused from 10 weeks old, and they still seek love. very rarely some are so mentally damaged that they DO attack someone, and unfortunately they get put down, which i have complicated feelings about, but that's a different topic, i won't get into it in this post.

but yeah, you abuse a dog, don't train a dog, and destroy a dog's sense of safety, of course they are gonna be at a higher risk of aggression, because they have ptsd, they are traumatised and in constant fear of harm. and i do believe that there is a biological element due to the bite force of pitties and similar dogs, as well as breeding for specific personality traits. but we also see so many bites (far more than pitties and other large dogs) from small dogs, they just can't cause deaths or usually severe injuries because they are small, but they are attacking for the exact same reasons; fear and lack of training. so many people just have zero respect for other living beings. it's why i'm against breeding and domestication as a whole, because we just completely fuck with their lives for our own benefit. pitbulls as a species should not exist, just like near every other dog on earth apart from wild ones (that do include domestic species, but very quickly become just 'mixed' dogs). which is a similar opinion to many ANTI-pitbull people, but i come at it from an angle of empathy (as well as applying it to all dogs, we should not be breeding 'the perfect pet'). they didn't ask to be here and be treated so cruelly.

i'm not gonna reply to any responses to this trying to argue. i have posted about this before and had all those arguments. i know the statistics, i know the biology, psychology, and i have real world first hand experience. you are not fighting with me on my opinion on this.

[waitingforeddyneddy]

Um, I think it's okay if JB is more enthusiastic about a job where a gay love story is told. That obviously means so much more to him at a personal level and it's understandable, I wouldn't judge him for that at all. But I do have an issue when his fans pretend that oh he cares so much about Kanthony! No, that was one of his many jobs that he did every well and moved on once it dropped and that's also fine! It's also good to acknowledge he on several occasions failed to even mention Simone by name for some reason (like in this old The Wrap interview, where he was talking specifically about Bridgerton: “But also, I was in fear of creating something with another actress or actor that was palpably believable, because romance and sexuality and sensuality is really the most honest and extreme thing we can experience,” he added.) I don't know, I always found his press run kinda odd in certain aspects.

Btw, I'm laughing reading what that old mod said about how they locked one of their comments because they mentioned how it wasn't great that JB bragged about meeting Biden rn because it wasn't good to bring politics lol. That's exactly an example of how FT effectively just "whitewashes" all the political aspects of the time period where it sets, because his fans obviously don't see it as a "political" show.

And where did I say that it’s bad he cares more about the gay love story? Of course he does, I just have a problem when his fans want to put him on the same level of mistreatment Simone faced when it comes to s2 promo. Simone was forced to do zoom interviews and read a script about sisterly love knowing full well that s2 was NOT about sisterly love. He was busy exploiting his Bridgerton hype to promote his show and as you said his outright refusal to name drop Simone even during that little promo he did. I don’t know, I still think the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to say Kanthony when he was asked which couple is his favourite, the same fucking days Simone was being attacked by cunts who screamed about her not being Kate Sheffield is nasty as fuck

We all know his fans like to go 🙉🙊🙈 over the problematic nature of everything surrounding Fellow Travelers it shouldn’t be surprising they get butthurt when someone points out his “political activism” if you even wanna call it that lmao and the fact that he said he learned a lot from fellow travelers I just wanna tell him buddy you obviously didn’t learn enough

His fans don’t see it as a political show, they see it as the show about the two attractive men fucking and they choose to ignore the people behind it

[sablegear0]

Technoroid’s Nobel - Part 1: Origin/Composition

Having a Big Theory Think about Nobel from Technoroid so here I go. Spoilers for mainly the Overmind anime and some Unison Heart game story stuff. This got long so it’s now Part 1 of 2.

SO. First thing we know about Nobel; he was built by Esora’s adoptive father, Professor Hakashu Shibaura, as a vaguely-titled “support android.”

Professor Shibauara is a roboticist and AI specialist. He created Eliza as an adaptive pure-AI assistant, intending to base her on the mannerisms of his assistant Elizabeth via one-on-one training. He also created Cobalt, Kei, Chrom, and Neon (who I will collectively refer to by their Climb group name “KNoCC” for simplicity), via a direct-upload procedure from human originals.

Notably the direct-upload procedure is extremely stressful on the human body. In the case of KNoCC, it proved fatal (with the intention of preserving them in the long-term). During its development, Prof. Shibaura tested the upload system on himself. Several times, according to the anime, resulting in a handful of incomplete scans. These tests in part are what contributed to his declining health and eventual death.

We have this information about Eliza and KNoCC thanks to some AR recordings of Prof. Shibaura’s lab. In the anime, all of these recordings are taken from an outside perspective (ie. not from Hakashu’s or Eliza’s perspective) as if the viewer were in the laboratory with them. It could be easy to dismiss them as security recordings, however I have two counterpoints: 1) the recordings appear to be taken from the observer’s “eye-level,” around the height of a person. And 2) Hakashu actively plans both highly-unethical experiments, and a handful of murders in these recordings. If these were security recordings, even if they were deleted from the facility’s servers, why would he have kept them if they were so incriminating?

((Admittedly, yes, I have to concede they serve the purpose of informing the viewer and the main cast simultaneously, so really they only exist for the purpose of telling the story, but play along with me here))

So who made these recordings? Since the framing and their continued existence imply there is another observer in the lab during these scenes, my best guess is that Nobel is the “cameraman“ for these scenes in the flashback episode. It makes sense; he was built to directly assist the Professor, so he would presumably be present during most of the development work.

Why is this significant? Well, it suggests Nobel is quite old; at least 14 or so years old (compared against Esora’s age for a timeline) by the events of Overmind, 24+ by the events of Unison Heart. Which I assume is “old” for an android, considering we see them treated as disposable in the anime. But it also suggests something else about Nobel: the origins of his behaviour.

Nobel behaves a lot like a human. Compared to Bora and even KNoCC, he’s very well-socialized for an android who (he implies) hasn’t yet been patched with the “Kokoro” emotion software. Nobel is, in fact, indistinguishable from a normal human by the main cast until very late in the anime. How is this possible? Well, for one, we can assume that like KNoCC and Bora he has a drive division mimicking the (scientifically incorrect, btw) 1:9 ratio of used/idle space in the human brain, so he probably developed emergent pseudo-emotions like Bora does. But for two, I suspect Nobel is also an upload.

At least, a partial one. We know Prof. Shibaura had a few partial scans of himself sitting around in his laboratory harddrives. The one we see on-camera ends off in the high %60 range. There’s no reason he wouldn’t use these scans to his advantage, perhaps he patched his partial consciousness into his support android at some point. After all, who better to help him out than himself?

If this seems far-fetched, I’d like you to consider the physical resemblance:

Granted, some of the Technoroid cast has a bit of sameface going on but these two do have a similar build.

And take a look at how those hair pieces fall. It’s not exact, but it’s pretty darn close, isn’t it?

Given the resemblance, and if we assume Nobel looked that way from the start, it’s possible that creating some kind of replica of himself was Hakushu’s endgame anyway. Having literal scans of his own consciousness just made that easier than having to train an AI from scratch (like Eliza, perhaps?).

Which says some potentially uncomfortable things about Nobel’s temperament. Hakashu was a deeply obsessive man: he attempted to recreate his assistant Elizabeth as an AI when it became apparent that they had no chance at a relationship; and he hardly hesitated planning the literal murders of four hospitalized youths, under the impression that preserving their consciousnesses would help raise his adoptive as the “perfect human.” We know Nobel is a bit of a (benevolent, but no less unsettling) stalker; he follows KNoCC and Esora around, constantly trying to nudge them together and abet their goals as a Climber group. Presumably, this was an objective set for him before the Professor’s death, so all that potentially-obsessive motivation had a clear direction. But afterwards? When KNoCC and Esora go their separate ways?

Well, we know one thing he gets up to: constructing illegal androids. And I’ll discuss that a bit in Part 2 because this got longer than I expected.

As a bit of an aside, I think it’s interesting that Esora did not recognize Nobel initially. This suggests to me that they’ve never met, despite Nobel presumably working closely with Prof. Shibaura.(More in Part 2) I wonder if Esora ever made the connection as to what Nobel’s origins might be. Perhaps that’s part of why they don’t seem to keep in contact much over the timeskip...?

[dhs-in-distress]

*looks at your reblog* 👀 Oh? Tell me more

(Omg I only found this accidentally cause I‘m new to having 2 blogs I‘m so sorry that I‘m only answering now, I swear I didn‘t even know this ask existed until now, but I‘m so happy you‘re interested ok aNYWAY-)

So that post I reblogged reminded me of a scene I wanted to write into that one TFA OC fanfiction I never finished so I’ll just talk about that (with a bit of context for comprehension‘s sake, but hopefully not too much cause all of the context would be like 50 pages)

(Oh also this is specifically about Scatterbrain/Scatters/SB/the one guy who‘s been infesting my brain like a parasite for the past 1.5 years)

So like basically Scatters has two main problems.

1: a dead boyfriend who got killed by the Cybertronian equivalent of the police, and

2: a „past“ in the stockades, where he got put after attacking the guy who killed his boyfriend, and which made him develop an extreme fear of getting things plugged into his medical port (and medical equipment in general) as a result of things they did there.

… Needless to say these two elements don‘t mix very well, both with each other as well as with just, being a functional person in general. If you add his other other problem with vulnerability and admitting to his fears and faults and distress, everything just goes to shit.

If you now put him in a situation where he has to be medically treated (by Ratchet btw, that info becomes important later) as a result of severe „bleeding“, and subsequently also get an oil/energon transfusion via the port, you get that post I reblogged, with some extras too! So I’ll just go into detail under the cut about how that’d play out, it’s kinda long and cringe and only makes sense to me and I‘m probably also the only one who gets this emotional about it cause this guy‘s entire psyche is like, in my brain. Anyway- proceed at your own risk :))

At first he‘d start being more and more aggressive, refusing to open his port at all and saying that he „doesn‘t need“ the transfusion, then going over to yelling about how he „doesn‘t need to do anything you tell me to actually“ when he starts to run out of arguments to cover up the fact he‘s just very afraid of all of this. This would however only result in aggravating Ratchet, ending in him getting Bulkhead to physically restrain Scatters to finally force open his port and get the transfusion going already, because he really does need it. And yeah… the physical restraint coupled with the forceful intrusion doesn’t help at all with differentiating this experience from the stockades. Having already been out of it due to his low energy levels, now with the added reminder of these other two factors, Scatters starts hysterically crying and begging to „make it stop“ and just fully reliving his imprisonment at this point. Obviously Bulkhead doesn’t have any idea what‘s going on, and while Ratchet can make an educated guess (from experience cough cough), that doesn‘t help much with figuring out how to make him stop having an episode.

(I feel the need to mention here that I believe in the popular(?) theory(?) that the bots have next to no idea what mental health/illness even is, let alone how to treat it when it gets bad)

Anyway, they just try to get all the fuel levels into a normal range as quickly as possible, after which everything is removed from Scatters immediately. This does get him to stop begging and screaming, but he‘s still crying, shaking violently and very obviously not all there yet. Bulkhead gets him off of the operating table they‘d had him on, and half pushes half carries him out of the medbay and just, outside, in an effort to get him to calm down somehow. I‘d imagine he‘d also be very overwhelmed in that moment and would like to get someone out there with him to help, but since he‘s the only one in team prime Scatters „tolerates“, doing that would probably just make things worse, so he endures. Scatters then starts clinging to Bulkhead‘s arm when he tries to pull away, mumbling both to and about his dead lover until he eventually becomes fully aware of his surroundings again, pulls away and stares at Bulkhead for a solid minute before saying the classic „if you tell anyone about this I will make you swallow your own wrecking ball istg“ and running away to have the rest of his „moment“ somewhere else alone.

So yeah the post I reblogged just reminded me of the medical torture flashback thing, because calling out for help at all, let alone screaming, begging, crying… physical touch that isn’t violent… opening up like that in general, aren‘t really things that Scatters does. He‘s the „I hate every form of intimacy and emotional honesty and would literally rather perish than let anyone know how I feel, why I feel that way or let them help me with my troubles. Fuck you, die.“ kind of person.

I hate him he‘s so terrible he‘s suffering he‘s so unwell someone get this bitch a therapist please someone kill him actually it‘s fine he gets better by the end of everything hahahhaahaaaa.

(I just accidentally deleted the entire paragraph about how his obsession with and unhealthy idolising of his dead lover are like,, core parts of his character and how everything links back to that and how his entire arc is about learning to accept that guy‘s death and how to be his own person again and not tying every action to „what would he want? What would he have done?“ and letting go and not acting like his life is completely over whenever he gets reminded of everyone‘s mortality and letting himself love other people and not feeling guilty about it and and and and- basically I‘m pissed I deleted that and can‘t get it back and that THIS is the only substitute I can come up with. Kill me.)

(Oh also there‘s smth about letting himself feel other things again cause like hate and longing are pretty much the only things he‘s felt for like 1 million years so yh I really shouldn‘t have named him Scatterbrain of all things huh cause the one thing he is is singleminded (and unable to let go of one thing/person). Oh well.)

Ok this was all really really long and unnecessary I hope your brain isn‘t melting out of your ears. I certainlydid tell you more though haha…´:]

[facelesspassport]

I was raised by an extremely abusive mother who was actually diagnosed with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I find it important to mention the diagnosis because nearly all of the people who mention their "mother/brother/ex-lover who is a narc" never has any proof and is basing their diagnosis off Quora posts. Personally, I have gone to the "r/raisedbynarcissists" subreddit a time or two and if I am being honest the content was unhelpful. Cathartic, sure. But unhelpful. There was very little- if any- information that was intended to spread awareness about NPD. People only demonized it. And while there was the occasional post that was made with the intention of seeking or offering support to abuse victims, most of what I saw were just masturbatory revenge-posts. I imagine that r/raisedbyborderlines is exactly the same- if not worse, because both NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) are simultaneously used by neurotypicals as trauma-porn and rage-bait on a massive scale online and in real life.

People with NPD often get their illness from being put on a pedestal then devalued repeatedly during early childhood. The hallmark of NPD is being so insecure and emotionally fragile that you constantly need to tell yourself that you are better than others + that "normal" people are "beneath" you. BPD is the opposite to NPD. It comes from being severely degraded and abused during the entire childhood- never being good enough for your gaurdians. The hallmark of BPD is believing at your core that you are so worthless that nobody will ever love you. Both of these personality disorders are caused by severe emotional dysregulation, chemical imbalances, and brain damage. And while one could argue that one of these is worse than the other I see no need in doing that because personality disorders are neutral medical terms- they are not meant to be scapegoats, nor are they meant to be the objects of your malice. Even though I have suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of a narcissist I cant imagine treating people with NPD the way most people treat those with BPD. I cant imagine publicly demonizing every single individual with the illness. cant imagine using my experience to deliberately hurt people who have NPD. cant imagine diagnosing people with NPD without having the qualifications. Purposefully spreading misinformation about NPD. Treating everyone with NPD as a monolith. Wishing death on everyone with NPD. Diagnosing an ex-lover with NPD every time they did something I didnt like.

The way that neurotypical people use those with these disorders as their emotional punching bags is grotesque and hypocritical. They should try to use their experiences with these disorders to spread awareness- I mean REAL awareness, not that bullshit about PDs being "monsters" because we both know that doesnt stop people from getting hurt by them or anyone else. Instead they use their alleged experience with BPD patients to manipulate people online into abusing their spouses and friends. The irony. I know that not every r/raisedbyborderlines post has this intention and nothing is wrong with sharing an experience that you had, but if you view people with personality disorders as human beings you will understand what I mean. There are so many posts and comments online which generalize, demonize, stigmatize, and deliberately hurt people with these disorders. I have seen people tell others to "break up" with their partners who have BPD, to never start relationships with them, to use them for sex, and to cheat on them. I have seen people tell others that "if you have a partner with BPD they are certainly cheating on you and lying to you regardless of context". Congratulations to everyone who has done this btw- you have literally stooped to the level of the person who hurt you. Picking on a group of disabled people just to get revenge on your cruel ex or your abusive parents.

I know it's more commanding to be the bigger person when talking about this sort of thing but I am honestly so sick of the way society treats abuse victims. You dont protect us as children and then you demonize us when we become dysfunctional adults and treat us as spectacles. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I did not ask to be abused every day of my life from the age of 2! I did not ask for a differently wired brain. I begged for help from the neurotypical adults around me and they all ignored me. The schools, the church. Everyone. The same fucks that swear that they would "never" ignore a victim- they ignored me- and now I have a broken brain and will never be happy. And if I dare tell people about my disorder- about what all of the abuse did to my brain- I don't get empathy. I get attacked. All those "kind", "empathetic", "normal", neurotypical people will attack me and tell my loved ones to abuse me if I open up to them. It is ironic that as someone with BPD I am painted as someone who has no empathy, yet I can not bring myself to be like neurotypicals. I can not bring myself to hurt innocent people with personality disorders just to spite my parents- who are human beings that suffered abuse just like I did. Anyways idk how to end this so here's a fucking stupid picture of Madoka-chan smoking a fat cig kys ig

concept: the people on r/raisedbyborderlines realize that not all people diagnosed with bpd are abusive pieces of shit. they realize that not all cluster b personalities are narcissistic. they remember that when people with bpd actually have feelings and are not psychopaths. they read the statistics and don’t assume the 10% o borderlines who kill themselves are doing it for attention. people don’t follow through for attention.

[saltymongoose]

could u maybe do self aware hcs w my wife phobos <3

if you wanna ofc 🥺🥺

Hey man, good to see you! ❤ I've definitely had some thoughts about this man, ngl. These hcs begin shortly before Jebus defected from the Nexus btw, so around the flashback sequences for m:pn.

Beware of False Gods - Self Aware M:PN Hcs Ft. Phobos

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, Violence, Phobos being a zealot for the Player)

The self-proclaimed God didn’t have much to go off of when it came to the elusive “Player”. He only knew of their existence in the first place was from looking over a few notes on the Auditor’s desk when they were having a meeting.

From what he’d read, apparently this Player was a type of “otherworldly being” that his superiors had a vested interest in coming into contact with. This immediately piqued his curiosity. There was actually someone that the Employers considered higher than themselves? Given the almost reverent language the Auditor had used for you in his reports, it certainly seemed so.

Phobos’ goal had always been to ascend to the Employers' level. But perhaps with your help, he’d even surpass them.

And of course you’d help him, it just made sense. He considered you both to be alike, in a way. Both of you were higher beings compared to those around you, him with the grunts and you with everyone in Nevada. He couldn’t speak about your role in your realm, but he was sure you must’ve had at least the same level of influence. How could you not? The Auditor of all people seemed to worship you. But that only left the question of how he’d gain your favor to begin with.

Phobos was made Director of the Nexus for a reason, his intelligence and reasoning skills were unmatched (according to him, anyway). It was extremely difficult to gain access to any information about you. That didn't mean it was impossible per se, just that he'd have to be very careful.

He wasn't the sneakiest person. But he did have a pretty good memory. He'd drill the details from the Auditor's notes into his mind even if it meant internally repeating them hundreds of times after reading it.

(The Auditor was growing suspicious. He couldn't tell if Phobos was gazing at his notes due to the position of the Director's head (and the lens he wore), but he noticed that he was acting more...idiotic during their meetings. He was usually quicker to volunteer information, but this time he seemed almost preoccupied with something else. It took him longer to answer inquiries, and on several occasions, the Employer even had to repeat questions. If this incompetent behavior continued, perhaps he'd have to consider a replacement.)

The notes had shown him just how powerful you are. As someone who could change the fates of Nevadans by directing them like simple puppets, manipulating even their destinies, you were truly a deity whom Phobos could see as an idol. If he was a god, then you were a god amongst gods.

From what he had seen of the Auditor’s approach to contacting you, they had been going about it all wrong. The Employers were smart, sure, but they didn’t know the ins and outs of how higher beings like yourselves deserved to be treated. As the God Emperor of Nevada, he was well-versed in this. It gave him a clear advantage in relatability. If he could get you to notice him as more deserving of your attention, you’d obviously prefer to bless him with your presence.

And so Phobos took it upon himself to be your only true "acolyte" in Nevada. While he was disappointed that he couldn't exactly show his devotion to you publicly (lest the Auditor catches wind of his knowledge of you), that didn't mean he couldn't worship in secret.

Unbeknownst to his superiors and the others in the Nexus, every deliberate action he took to further his domination of Nevada was done for you. Every discovery, experiment, and innovation was made with you in mind. All the improvements he had facilitated in Nexus City were a bid for your favor. If you saw how capable he was, you would know that he was more deserving of your influence than anyone else.

A part of him longs to feel the gentle warmth of your gaze that the Auditor had described. It would be the true show of his superiority over everyone else. He just couldn't wait to finally meet you.

If he had to destroy the rest of Nevada to have you look only at him, it would be worth it.

As Phobos became more intense in his worship of you, he started to see himself as almost an extension of your influence (even if he'd never felt you personally). As such, his punishments for those who disrespected him and his work grew far harsher. If they went against him, then they were also turning their back on you, his god.

He could take others disliking him just fine, but any unfavorable behavior towards you was unforgivable. It's a shame that they were one and the same.

Those who worked in the Nexus Core had always known to be cautious around Phobos. However, recently his behavior had become even more volatile. First it was forcing everyone to work double-time to meet shorter deadlines, while expanding the scopes of projects to the point that the scientists could barely take a step away from their desks if they wanted to finish the assignments. Now he would insist on inspecting their work himself, which he usually never bothered with. And any word spoken against the Nexus would result in immediate termination. Most knew better than to even talk around the Director now, in fear of saying something wrong and being "made an example of".

(The agents were getting a bit freaked out by the random executions they were ordered to fulfill. Not that they would complain though, it was better than ending up dead themselves. Although their boss was getting more specific on how he wanted it done. Bludgeoning someone to death with a hammer wasn't part of their job description.)

Phobos would keep his own journal in which he would write to you. Essentially it was a collection of all the things he would tell you if you were there, from gloating about his past work to questions and praises directed at yourself. He wanted to know everything about you, from the way you preferred to be worshiped to the way you looked and the things you loved. And as a god himself, there was no one better for you to confide in.

He just wants to speak to you directly, why won't you let him?

Speaking of worship, Phobos actually finds himself praying to you on some occasions. Asking you for guidance, or even some signs that he's doing well. If anything happens to go as planned, he immediately attributes it to your influence.

He has something that constitutes as a shrine in the private confines of his suite. He didn't know what you really liked yet, so he settled on the most expensive and luxurious things he could find. This ranged from silky clothing and jewelry to top-shelf liquor, and even more fragile things like flowers. Anything that could represent what you mean to him.

(The agents were, once again, completely confused by the requests of their boss. Just yesterday he had asked them to "take care" of some low-level scientists, and now he wanted them to find perfectly intact flowers???)

At the beginning and end of each day, he'll kneel before this "alter" and make sure to thank you for your help (even if said help was completely imagined). And you should feel lucky, you're the only one he'd ever consider lowering himself for. Maybe one day you’ll even come down from the heavens and tell him how proud you are of him.

He had been close to convincing himself that he already had your favor when you actually decided to get involved in Nevada. He would've been overjoyed, if you hadn't decided to take the side of that traitor.

When he had called Dr. Christoff to his office to fire him, the last thing he was prepared to find was the strikingly warm aura the scientist was exuding. One that was all too similar to what he'd read about in the Auditor's notes. It couldn't be you, right? You'd never betray him like this, it made no sense.

What did Jebediah do to earn your attention? Surely you didn't think that the doctor had your best interests at heart. His doubts in Phobos and his attempts to steal the Director's seat should've tipped you off. He knew that your judgement was sound; you were a deity, you must have a good head on your shoulders. That meant that the scientist must've tricked you into using him.

Phobos isn't the most lenient of people to begin with, but any acts made against you were unforgivable. It took him a lot to not just lash out and end the life of that miserable grunt right then and there. But no, he had to show you he had more self control than that.

Instead, he'd wait until Christoff was officially gone from the premises of the Science Tower. And then, no expense would be spared in hunting him down like the filthy dog he was. The crime of stealing you from him was deserving of the cruelest of punishments.

(Jebus had never seen Phobos physically tremble in an effort to fight back rage before. His annoyance was expected, but he seemed close to cracking his desk from the tight hold he had on it's edge. Good. He could die mad, for all he cared. And with your help, he's sure that would become a reality.)

[micheya]

Thoughts On Which Harbinger Diluc had a run in with

I want to know which Harbinger diluc had a run in with (and almost losing his life to) when he was out in Snezhnaya busting up fatui camps as a barely turned adult without his vision

So here are my thoughts on them (MOST PROBABLY VERY INCORRECT)

disclaimer: this has been in my drafts for ages (since they were released), i have no clue if i finished this or left it half done

for no reason in particular a part from the fact that I think it would be a good plot point, i would guess The Captain.

A captain and a former captain. One with plenty of experience, another one...while yes has much experience is still young.

He would be a troublesome boy with emotions running rampant in the eyes of the Captain. Even Childe hadn't earned the acknowledgement of The captain.

To him, Diluc would just be a nuisance.

It would be a nice contrast in characters.

__

(btw ignore how i say honrouable mentions because they're all in no particular order and I was thinkinh about them all anyways)

__

honourable mention would be Pantalone, who is the height of wealth and Diluc would soon be inheriting his father's riches completely.

And he would also begin to understand (if he hadn't already) the value of information and networks, especially with the organisation that had saved him from the near death experience.

Another no reason in particular would be the Damselette, purely because Childe thinks she's creepy as heck (which tbh, i said "creepy" when first seeing her before hearing his voice lines of her. Idk if that's a flex but anyway-) , and I think it would be an interesting situation hearing Diluc's point of view on her.

Like I bet Diluc would be scared of her...or like you know that extremely weary kind of has goosebumps at the idea of ever encountering her again.

He's older, stronger and has a level head in the present time, but I can still see the idea that she would be the type of creepy crawly feeling you get when a bug is somewhere on your skin whenever he recalls her.

The Knave also because Childe said she hasn't a single sane bone in her, and that just intrigues me. Like what kind of fight would that be between her and Diluc? Like what kind of expressions would this not sane person make, and I bet you Diluc would be severely scared haha. Very intimidated. Like I can picture a completely different vibe of running away to survive with the Knave.

Also I bet Diluc wouldn't exactly be favourable to her type as she's the type to betray someone if it benefits her, this includes the Tsaritsa. (Childe said so.)

I can't picture much the Rooster, Scaramouche, Childe and Pierro, Signora and Dottore being the encountered ones. (I could be very incorrect with Dottore...or tbh any of them)

Not likely, and tbh I don't think it's likely, but I think it would be an epic fight seeing the Puppeteer with her Ruin graders shooting missiles at Diluc and he's dodging for his life completely overwhelmed by all this machinery. Just because it sounds like an epic fight of sorts.

Pierro could be seen, purely for that story effect of Diluc describing the aura and absolute power the number 1 radiated when he was running for his life.

I can't see Dottore, purely because in the manga it looked like Diluc hadn't met him in person before? (like the actual Dottore, not the clone) But then again, he could have a sort of doesn't get a good glimpse of Dottore himself while fighting his creations. Then like later on seeing the man himself in all his glory with the information that he has made clones of himself. I know there's something wrong with my logic here but I don't know, I don't have brain power im sleepy.

Goodbye ya'll

[prettyboykatsuki]

Aristotle, this was an older take you mentioned on your blog that I literally completely forgot to ask you about, but I just remembered as I was looking for the ask so here goes: I’d love to hear more about how you link queerness with disagreeing with common fanon characterizations/not being into hard mean dom characterizations because I am queer and fall in the camp of disagreeing with a lot of them and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m sorry if this comes off as creepy or out of nowhere, I swear that wasn’t my intention asdfghjkl

i could honest to god write a thesis on this like i think about it so much with a lot of examples in peoples im mutuals with (btw mutuals i may adress u in here if u want me to take u out pls let me know)

cw for fetishization, gender stereotypes, and general discussions of toxic masculinity / gender roles

this is super long because the subject is really nuanced and i could probably go on and on about it. please ask me abt it dsjhfkds

disclaimer! write characters however. this is me just observing stuff. no worries.

in my experience on tumblr and in the general fanfiction writing community - there is a very, very big difference in how specific types of people, specifically queer / openly queer people, interact with characters and characterization on this app. i dont think most people even really notice or know that it happens but it's something i've observed over time.

one of my biggest gripes with fandom and particularly the self-insert community, is how people tend to characterize male characters by divying them up into these two boxes of submissive and dominant.

being brutally honest - i think a lot of the characterizations of many male characters have largely to do with how many of the people in the self-insert community are femme presenting cis women.

and that presentation and gender identity + in addition to sexuality have a lot to do with how men are written in this app. in a way, it's almost a given because if you don't fall into being a cis, femme presenting women, your relationship to things like gender and what role you play in relationships is very very different.

i find this mostly to be in how things how certain characters are written as inherently more submissive vs how certain characters are written as inherently more dominant. i'll use baku but there are several characters i find this to be true.

tanjiro, yuuji, hinata vs inosuke, megumi, and kageyama.

bakugou is a character i get a lot of.. commentary on when i write him to be a submissive person in the relationship and this rlly only happens when i write him in the context of reader-insert. people will openly disagree with the characterization of bakugou that is clingy, submissive, and needy especially when i write it with fem!self-insert

but he's not the only character. any male character that aren't extremely emotional or upbeat get a degree of this treatment. kageyama, sasuke, megumi - i could go on and on.

and i think there in lies the inherent link between how queerness effects your role in a relationship and how that impacts how you see male characters and in what way you see them. how much vulnerability you're willing to write in for them etc.

when you're a queer person - you are very comfortable with the idea that a man can be a vulnerable and submissive kind of person in a relationship because you, yourself, do not have a lot of orthodoxy in your relationships. and your "level" of queerness is especially important because well, if you're a femme presenting bisexual woman who has only ever dated cis men, you've probably got a rather set role in how you perceive men and male characters.

you're probably more likely than a cishet femme woman to be okay with vulnerable and submissive male characters, but it's unlikely that you stray too far from dominant men.

where on the other hand, if you're a masculine cis woman, or a trans man, or a femme presenting lesbian or a masc nonbinary person or really anyone that is openly and outwardly queer - your views of how men can be and how men are a lot more broad almost inherently.

because you yourself do not fit an orthodoxy in relationships. you yourself cannot afford being part of any heteronormativity so your perception of a character is completely.

there's a lot to it - like how people are also comfortable writing someone like deku as submissive but someone like bakugou as dominant.

is it bc maybe you perceive anger and stoicism as dominant masculine traits and you perceive emotion and vulnerability to submissive feminine traits?

just some food for thought about how fandom sometimes accidentally perpetuates heteronormativity.

[honzuki-reymilie]

@tired-reader-writer @ming-sik Sorry, but I'll answer here because it's a bit of a pain to be cut it in several pieces in the comments.

Before that, I just want to comment on the "generic isekai" bit in the post:

A lot of people in the fandom would be angry at you for saying this, but there is a certain person who agrees with you: the author. XDD

She said in a short interview that she was confused as to why her work was praised as being original, even though in her mind she was only writing a classic generic isekai.

Re:

I don't think it's made conciously but you're not so wrong about the lookism and fatphobia point.

Again, in the LN, while there aren't many mentions about her health not being up to a normal level other than when she tried to enter the auditorium in P5V10, but other than it has improved, it was never said that her health/stamina became normal either. Also, I've read all Q&A and bits of info scattered around that I could find, but the infos there don't contradict or overwrite stuff that are in the story. And please, just don't compare her to Rowling.

Also, when was Sylvester's character and morals retconned?

"those who don't work shall not eat" (働かざる者食うべからず) is a saying used in the context of people able to work but still don't, not those who can't work even if they want to. I remember Myne saying it to an apprentice grey priest (the apprentices weren't in the same condition as the children who didn't have their baptism yet, they were able to have some food unlike the latter) when she asked them to clean the basement, not to children who couldn't move.

From the way I see it, AoB and Myne don't advocate for a completely meritocratic framework, but the society of Yogurtland does. As a person who was lovingly cared for even though she couldn't do anything because of her sickness, Myne wants to live by the principle that all lives are worthy, but their society doesn't. To have a worth, people need to be useful. Since she is bound by her position, Myne can't just do whatever she wants. So she tries to accomodate people within the rules of the society, in a way that could be accepted. She tries to find a way for people who can't work because of various situations to have a decent life. She tries to give work to the orphans and put in place a system so that they can live even if she's not there anymore. She puts Wilma in charge of the orphanage where there are only women and children so that she can work even with her trauma. She tries to find various ways to make Angelica study who seems unable to do so even though it would destroy her future and her family's (I think people with executive dysfunction can find her relatable). She accepts the children of the Veronica faction (and Konrad) as grey priests tries to find a way to make them able to live as nobles or as blue priests.

There's also this conversation between Tuuli and Effa in a SS in P2V5 of the manga from the POV of Tuuli that makes me think so. In this SS, it was mentioned that when Myne was about 4 and she didn't have her past life memories yet, Effa gave birth to another baby, and Myne was extremely sad, upset, and wished they didn't have a new baby, because she thought she would be thrown away once they had a healthy child. Effa said that the reason for that was that she was very hurt by other people's words in daily conversations. Such as when they tell a pregnant woman: "I hope a healthy baby will be born!", or when a parent scold a child who runs away from chores: "Do you think you can stay home when you don't even help around the house?!". From the way it was framed, I don't think that AoB advocates against the notion that all lives are worthy.

There aren't much disabled characters shown in the story who can't work at all other than Myne at the beginning of the story that could prove my point, but still, the experiences of the protagonist shouldn't be dismissed.

Btw, about Hannelore. Based on you two's complaints about her character, I think that you might enjoy the spin-off. The more you read it the more you realize that she's actually a Dunkelfelger through and thorough.

in general i think that dunkelfelger mostly stumbles because it was clearly designed to be about five characters who are fun to have around during the academy, but when they actually are supposed to participate in the political drama they just... stay the school sports group, which doesn't make sense for an entire duchy, and just compounds the climax's problem of not having any stakes because it's literally a game to them. my fixes would be:

i'm still either consolidating lestilaut into hannelore or switching their personalities. giving hannelore his personality lets her clash with dunkelfelger's expectation that women serve primarily to hunt down and then reign in men by contrasting that with someone who's insane on her own. also lets her be a more direct foil to rozemyne by using her weakness to cute girls to trick her into spending time with a character her age who can actually stand up to her, which the academy arc otherwise really lacks.

clarify that dunkelfelger-the-school-faction is really into ditter the same way most places are into their regional sport. there's definitely a ditter culture and a lot of the students are really into it, but the only time everyone in dunkelfelger is a ditter fan is during the interduchy tournament. the rest of the time there are people who are unathletic or who actively don't care about ditter because they think everyone else being into it is annoying, you know, the way real people in places with heavy sports cultures act.

maybe yurgenschmidt needs more than one sport. they have worf but maybe they could have a third sport. perhaps dunkelfelger could even have many kinds of sports or if we must do ditter at least have a few really weird kinds with fun rulesets so it's not just different kinds of treasure and then the actual game is just anything goes combat. the rules are part of the fun, i really think we could've used a Sports version of ditter rozemyne can't just win by hiding in her car because there's like.... rules.

the actual duchy needs to have other stuff going on. completely spitballing my proposal would be for there to be a faction war between people who want to find a strong zent candidate from dunkelfelger(probably backing magdalena and hildebrand) and people who want to back the current candidate as hard as possible. they both want to avoid the civil war reigniting because of a weak zent or treason. instead of the bride stealing ditter plot being lestilaut just being insane it could be the first faction trying to bring rozemyne in specifically so she or her kid could be the strong dunkelfelger zent they're looking for and they're trying to marry her to lestilaut. also with the sibling personality swap you can have their own succession conflict where maybe hannelore is better suited to the role but she'd rather go the bonifatius route whereas lestilaut is default considered but there's some concern if he's suited for it, so the first faction wants hannelore as the aub for her strength and then lestilaut can marry rozemyne and their kid becomes the zent while the second faction wants lestilaut to become the aub because he's less controversial outside the duchy and no nothing re: the zent no treason here no sir. the first faction presents itself as the hannelore faction but she reveals that not only does she not really want to be aub but also that they'll still expect her to settle down once she "finds a man stronger than her" to marry and they mostly care that she can have strong kids, so she'd actually prefer the second faction since she could become the knight commander if lestilaut's the uncontested aub.

[gauntletqueen]

i started gw2 and ive gotta ask... does it ever get more like structured? like in ffxiv i was immediately in msq watching cutscenes and doing quests but this feels more like im just supposed to wander around and do a thing if its in my general area?

also its extremely weird to me to start immediately in this big fight and also to have the player character voiced. but i really liked the character creator im v happy with my scrunkly asura necromancer :)

Thanks for the ask! I'll do my best to answer :>

(I did answer and I answered a LOT. I tried to make it coherent but whoops I love gw2 so I just kinda prattled on, sfahghgsaf)

TL;DR: Gw2 is built around exploration and working together with other players. Every 10 levels you unlock a series of more traditional story quests, at lvl80 you can just do story uninterrupted if you want. Not liking a voiced protagonist is valid but GW2 does do very good things with it, so I recommend you do give it a chance.

Instead of walking up to NPCs to receive quests, you are told the general objective as soon as you move within range of the quest NPC (these kinds of "quests" are called renown hearts btw.) At this point you can either perform the given tasks, or walk over to the NPC with a golden heart icon, and talk to them for more story and instructions.

First off: yes, it does get more traditionally structured, closer to what you're expecting!

But Guild Wars 2 has a very different structure to most MMO's, where quests don't work the same way.

There are also events which happen naturally, sometimes based on the results of other events. These events often also have fun minor characters and stories, and can sometimes have climactic finales against huge threats. The idea of events is that you band together with other players who happen to be around. It's one of the many ways how the game encourages co-operation.

These two types of "quests" form a very organic and living feel to the world, and Guild Wars 2 does expect you to explore for yourself and help out whenever you come across these objectives at your own pace.

As for the rest of your ask, I personally like that the tutorial is action-packed, it introduces you to one of several important and interesting characters (except Logan sorry), as well as whatever conflict you'll be dealing with as a member of your chosen race, plus it immediately says "Hey! In this game you get into big fights like this!!" which gets me more invested than ffxiv's slower "hey, you. You're finally awake" opening. Again though, just my opinion.

The important part for you, is that every 10th level, you unlock a new story chapter. These are each a series of instanced quests like the ones you're familiar with from ffxiv.

They're different depending on how you built your character's race, backstory and personality in the character creator, so you can replay the game with a new character and experience new story!

Basically, Gw2's "structure" becomes travelling around and exploring, participating in events and immersing yourself in the world until you level up enough to unlock the next story chapter. At level 80 (max level), you'll be able to continue the story without needing to level inbetween. The expansion and Living World content becomes much more story-focussed as a result.

(as a side-note, you'll unlock your first mount at level 10. It used to be that you could only get mounts once you got to the second expansion, but this was recently changed. They're not at all a necessity before said expansion but it's just nice to have one :> )

I understand the dislike of the voiced character, I've heard from many people that they dislike that. Having a voiced protagonist, especially one you create yourself, tends to take away a level of agency when imagining what they're like. I've personally made my peace with this. I think the game has great writing, and aside from my main character, with all my other characters I've kind blocked out the way the game writes them and just fill it in myself hehe. (and even for my main character I use the game's writing as guidelines)

The upside is that the player character has a much more vocal (no pun intended) and direct role in the story. In a lot of games like this I feel like the player character becomes a side character to the NPCs, where they get all the development and emotion, but in GW2 the player character feels fully developed and has tons of development of their own, which again gets me more invested, personally.

And finally yes I love the Asura they are Leetol Smartass Gobline Creetures :3

I have five!