bazkrekkerbrokemyshin

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Imagine being 12yo drüskelle playing with your friends and a pile of cute little wolf puppies. And then your Weird Classmate that is the top of the class and never talks to anybody and also is the general's favourite appears, covered in blood, with basically a grown isenulf with badass scar across it's muzzle and oh great Djel, it's his blood this wolf is covered in?, and proudly claims this monster is his, before promptly loosing consciousness. Like I bet Matthias had a Reputation™.

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Homework inej...

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I think reading the ending of Crooked Kingdom is where my depression spiral started

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Matthias is the token straight and they accept him as he is <3

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Laughing my ass off because just heard the audiobook version of Matthias imitating the bells on the ice court. It's so funny ahasjah-

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No but Matthias being tempted to "drag Smeet back and make Kaz perform the trick again" is so deeply funny to me

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Things Kaz canonically does in the two years between Crooked Kingdom and Rule of Wolves:

(presumably) massively expands the Dregs' territory

buys Pekka's old club (the Emerald Palace) and completely renovates it, turning it into The Silver Six

massively expands the Crow Club to the point where it's "three times the size of every other establishment on the block"

builds an underground tunnel that goes from the Crow Club to the Geldstraat, where the Van Eck Mansion is

takes Jesper out on jobs with him often enough that Wylan has jokingly banned Jesper from answering the door when he knocks

learns about Ketterdam's Suli laborers and picks up additional knowledge of Suli culture

keeps up with Inej's whereabouts and helps her take out slavers

expands his information network to the Kerch colonies

is on friendly enough terms with the King of Ravka that he taught Nikolai how to pick locks and Nikolai feels comfortable personally writing him a letter when he needs to steal the titanium from Kerch

disguises himself just to follow people around on the streets

was planning to steal the titanium from the military base anyway just for fun

And that's just the stuff we see from Nikolai's and Zoya's incredibly limited perspectives during their Ketterdam sidequest

I 100% agree with Zoya when she thinks that "maybe Kaz was like Nikolai, a boy with an unquiet mind, a man in perpetual need of challenge" because ROW makes it so obvious that Kaz is bored and incredibly restless in his success. Someone get our boy a new life's purpose and a subscription to a long-running unsolved mystery podcast stat

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wesper winter ✨day three✨

theme: first meetings

prompt: through a friend

summary:

17:32 in Bad Bitches 💅

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

wifey: WHAT

witch: JESPER

wifey: YES

witch: AND

witch: WYLAN

witch: DO YOU SEE THE VISION

wifey:...

wifey: I SEE IT

witch: THATS WHAT IM SAYING

witch renamed “Bad Bitches 💅” to “Matchmaking Services”

witch: buckle up bitches we got work to do

wifey: let’s brainstorm

no tw, and general audiences

full thing below the cut!

17:32 in Bad Bitches 💅

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

witch: INEJ

wifey: WHAT

witch: JESPER

wifey: YES

witch: AND

witch: WYLAN

witch: DO YOU SEE THE VISION

wifey:...

wifey: I SEE IT

witch: THATS WHAT IM SAYING

witch renamed “Bad Bitches 💅” to “Matchmaking Services”

witch: buckle up bitches we got work to do

wifey: let’s brainstorm

***

“Can I at least see a picture?”

Wylan was in Nina’s room, trying to decide which sweater to wear to his date. His blind date, with someone who, according to Nina and Inej, would be perfect for him.

“Then it wouldn’t be a blind date, would it? Here, try this one.” Nina passed him another sweater, and Wylan grumbled but pulled the other one over his head to try this one on. “I can assure you he’s gorgeous, if it helps.”

“It doesn’t,” Wylan said. He plucked at the sweater and appraised himself in Nina’s full length mirror. “I think I need a necklace.”

“Right you are, love. Luckily, I already thought of that.” Nina winked and held out two, a delicate choker, and a much longer chain with a pendant. She watched as he clipped them around his neck, and reached out to adjust how the choker was centered when he finished.

Wylan turned to look at himself in the mirror again. He thought he looked rather nice, actually. Hopefully, it was enough to impress his date.

“You look adorable.” Nina reached out to pinch his cheek teasingly, and Wylan scowled and swatted at her hand.

“If that’s all-”

“Yes, yes, and you look hot, Saints.” Nina rolled her eyes. “If you weren’t so vain, maybe we wouldn’t have been here for the last hour.”

“I was going to go with the first outfit I tried on, but you insisted-”

“Hush, Wylan, and hold still. I need to send Inej a picture,” Nina scolded. She was grinning widely, which only made Wylan roll his eyes. But he listened and didn’t move so she could take her picture and send it off to Inej.

“He better not be as insufferable as you,” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair to try to get it to lay flat.

“Worry not, dear,” said Nina as she patted his shoulder, “He’s worse.”

***

“You look better in the purple,” Inej told him.

“I look amazing in everything,” Jesper replied, but he turned and started to switch shirts. As he did, his mind wandered back to his date. “Why won’t you show me a picture?”

“Because Nina wouldn’t show him one, and it would be unfair for you to know what he looked like if he doesn’t know what you look like.”

“Well, if he’d seen a picture of me, he’d have passed out because I’m so hot.” Jesper winked at Inej in the mirror. “I have that effect.”

“And yet, I haven’t passed out in your presence even once.”

“Well, that’s because your type is anemic white boys that have no sense of style,” reasoned Jesper. “I’m the exact opposite of all those things, so of course I don’t appeal to you.”

Inej didn’t respond. Instead, she had turned a critical eye onto his eyeshadow collection. “I will tell you that he has red hair,” she said absentmindedly.

“He’ll be easy to find, at least,” Jesper mumbled. Inej snorted.

“Hurry up and do your makeup.” She handed him one of his pallets and a brush. “You can’t be late to your first date.”

***

Wylan was terrified. Inej and Nina had both agreed that he’d like Jesper. but that changed very little. What if Jesper didn’t like him? It wouldn’t be unreasonable. He’d had plenty dates tell him he was awkward, or too direct, or-

“Are you Wylan?”

Wylan very nearly jumped out of his chair. “Ye-yes, that’s-” he coughed, awkwardly, “Yes, that’s me. You must be Jesper?”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Jesper held out his hand, but when Wylan took it, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his knuckles with a wink. He could feel his cheeks flush embarrassingly, and glanced away.

His friends had been right. He did like Jesper. He was outrageously gorgeous, for one thing. He had the most perfectly shaped lips Wylan had ever seen, and a broad nose and grey eyes that Wylan would love to paint some time.

“You too.” Wylan smiled weakly. He should say something, before he made everything awkward and drove this beautiful man away. “I, um, like your makeup.”

Jesper smiled, and Wylan had the wonderful feeling that he’d done something right. “Thank you,” he said, “I like your necklaces.”

“Oh they- they’re Nina’s, actually. She insisted I come over so she could help me get ready, and then made me try on about a million different shirts before she decided this one looked good, and-” Wylan cut himself off. Jesper tilted his head, and Wylan blushed again. “Sorry, I just… Well, I feel a little underdressed, to be honest.”

Jesper reached out to place a hand over his. Wylan looked down at it with wide eyes, then back up at him. “You look wonderful,” Jesper assured him. “I think your outfit suits you.”

“And how would you know? You barely know me, after all.” Why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut? It had been going so well, but his incessant need to be contrary had likely just ruined everything.

Instead of looking offended or weirded out, Jesper grinned. “So help me get to know you. What do you like, Wylan?”

Wylan smiled. Maybe Nina and Inej were right. Maybe this would go well.

***

21:16 in “Matchmaking Services”

wifey: okay i just got off the phone with Wylan

wifey: it went *very* well

witch: CURRENTLY AT JESPER’S

witch: HE WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW ADORABLE WYLAN WAS WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT MUSIC

witch: I DO BELIEVE WE CAN CALL THIS MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

wifey: i would agree

wifey: operation wesper was a success

witch: oh without a doubt

witch: were great at this

wifey: couldn’t agree more, nina

wifey: couldn’t agree more

@wesper-winter

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soc but we don't really talk about the ways the characters grieve over matthias's death much so i'm doing it.

Note: since @clarissaweasley-10 is still grieving i thought i'd make this to soften the blow

Kaz - This guy lost one of his crows. They were supposed to be under his care, he was supposed to protect them. They were all supposed to make it. But they didn't. And it scares him because what if it hadn't been Matthias but Inej, or Jesper, or Wylan, or hell, even Nina. This is Jordie all over again, he let someone get a bit too close and now they're gone...it hurts. My personal hc is that he doesn't really allow himself to grieve, and chooses instead to overwork himself until finally Inej confronts him and tells him it's okay to miss Matthias.

Inej - It upsets her that he died, given their situations were so similar to each other, both having their families taken away from them at a young age, then going into something that wasn't good. But Matthias, he had his whole life ahead of him. I mean, Inej wasn't sure what she was going to do after Kaz and the heists and all of that, but Matthias was going to settle down with Nina, and then all this happened. And it's just wrong that he was taken away so early and maybe the gods she believed in hadn't been so giving as she thoguht they were. But overall I think she'd be the first to make peace with it.

Wylan - It scares him. I mean, from his time with Van Eck leading up towards his incident in the canal, he's been on edge at the thought of death and he might die alone, too. But now he's with his friends, and his life is going great, and he has what could possibly be the love of his life, he feels invincible and it was perfect. But then Matthias died and hell, he wasn't even really there when it happened. and it wasn't perfect anymore, and it reminds him that maybe life is more fragile than he remembered.

Jesper - It haunts him like it haunts Nina. I mean, what if he had been the one who took parem instead, then maybe, just maybe, Nina would've still had her powers and might've been able to heal Matthias back, or at least control his blood pressure to a stable level until Kaz got a healer. I think like Inej, he knows that Mattthias had his whole life ahead of him, and it kinda gives him the thought that maybe he should've been the one who died instead of Matthias. or he should've been there, maybe his Grisha powers could'ved deflected the bullet elsewhere, there were endless possibilities. It haunts him, and he never really gets over it, even though he acts like he has.

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Kaz to Van Eck

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Haiiiiiii. One-shot idea?

Kaz somehow manages to keep track of where Inej is, and send her little presents she might need on her voyages, and she sends him cute little letters back, which seem to always end up at Wylan and Jespers house. (Only if you want, ofc)

Thank you for the request! I finally got this done :)

I hope you like it!

one-shot tag list:

@devoted-people-hater

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it makes me so happy for some reason that my depressive episode kaz fic is the second most viewed on my account… i’m just 🥹

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I feel so bad for the people who requested fic from me like three months ago... I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THEM! I SWEAR!!!

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Nina: I dont know about Kaz, he gives me weird vibes . Beyond the terrible hair cut

Matthias: Weird vibes? That is a demjin. He is not just a little off, he is Beelzebub Lord of the Flies

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i have two chapters in the works for my foster au!

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masterlist

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Hey, remember that poll I made a while ago where you guessed who we'd meet next in the Foster AU? This update might be a surprise to most of you lol

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masterlist

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Jordie probably spent his last hours reflecting on how much he failed his little brother-